jessilynallendilla

[jessilynallendilla]

What would your Lex look like if he never lost his hair?

He'd look way too much like his dad and would be too ✨empowered✨ to be stopped.

[jessilynallendilla]

Floren Willems (1823-1905) "Painter at his easel shows his work to a girl" (1852)

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“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

[jessilynallendilla]

I'm a4 the plasma center and I forgot. My fucjibg purse !

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Poll: if your mom remarries when you’re 26 years old is that guy still your stepdad or is he just your mom’s husband.

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Neither “the magic is going away” nor “the magic is just beginning” but “the magic has been around for fifty years and society has only partly adjusted”

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there were 5 fics posted in 2004 (the bar is just nearly imperceptible)

of those fics, one was hilson and two were chouse

no clue what happened in 2019??

included covid because i think the-plague-that-gives-you-a-disability is probably related to why it's gotten so popular in the 2020s

[jessilynallendilla]

My favorite detail about Jurassic Park is that it has a baked-in justification for any and all retcons it might need to make due to paleontology advancing forwards.

Because there is not a single dinosaur that has ever appeared in Jurassic Park.

Not one. Not in the books. Not in the movies. Not ever.

"Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was to create genetically engineered theme park monsters." ~Alan Grant

Grant says that in a moment of cynicism. It's part of his arc for the film. But it's not inaccurate. What Jurassic Park has, what it's always had since the very first novel, are "Mostly Dinosaurs".

"And since the DNA is so old, it's full of holes! Now, that's where our geneticists take over!" ~Mr. DNA

It's impossible to recover a fully intact gene sequence from an ancient amber mosquito. Cloning a pure dinosaur would have been completely impossible, and so the park filled in the gene sequence with whatever works. Frog. Lizard. Bird. Whatever they need to get the result they are trying to get.

Every single dinosaur is a chimeric beast made up of mostly dinosaur and a bunch of other stuff that some scientists thought would achieve the appropriate dinosaur-like result.

"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different." ~Dr. Henry Wu

Which, from a writing perspective, is fucking genius. Because now you have a preset excuse for each and every plot hole your movie has.

Like. Why don't the raptors have feathers? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do dilophosaurs spit venom? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why do T-Rexes have movement based vision? Oh, they don't. But Rexy does. Because of her chimera DNA.

Why is the Spinosaurus so fucking big? Because of the chimera DNA.

Why are the velociraptors mislabeled? Because Hammond's a dipshit.

Like. I've always marveled at the way Jurassic Park started out by giving itself a blanket excuse to be wrong about every single thing it ever said about the central attraction of its franchise. It's honestly beautiful, and allows the series a degree of immortality well into the era where we know better about its animals.

[jessilynallendilla]

reminds me more of the wolf meets a Borzoi in the wilderness comic

Random story thought: What if a fantasy story where there's humans and elves, who are less like different nationalities and/or "human, but in a different font", but more like the difference between dogs and wolves? Like they resemble humans, but are very, very clearly not human. And half-elves, like wolfdogs, are known to be theoretically possible, but so improbable and rare that they might as well be a myth. Like everybody's school had that one kid who loves lying for attention who keeps insisting that they actually know somebody who's a real half-elf for real.

And in the extremely rare case where their friend of a friend who's "totally actually a real half-elf" even exists at all, 99 times out of 100, the aforementioned suspected hybrid is just a 100% full human who's unusually tall, beautiful and autistic. Something that can definitely fool someone who's never seen a real half-elf, and is willing to believe that this friend's mom actually for real fucked an elf (instead of getting hunted for sport, and possibly eaten, which is the more likely outcome of encountering elves in the wild). But it's almost always just a full human with vaguely 'elvish' features.

But once in a blue moon, there actually is a real half-elf, and once you've seen one, you won't mistake a full human for one of them again. They're gangly, not just tall but long-limbed in a way that humans are not, their speech is strangely composed as if they learned their first language as a second language, and their eyes are piercing, wild, inhuman eyes, with a gaze full of strange instinctive wisdom that humans were never meant to know. Secret elvish thoughts that even they, personally, wish they didn't have.

And it sinks in to you that elves, that are so alien to you, would also find this poor creature just as strange and unsettling as you do.

[jessilynallendilla]

Powerpuff Girls was actually a show about a group of small children crushing the patriarchy and no one will convince me otherwise

[jessilynallendilla]

“Elves do not need to shit. There are no execratory processes happening within the elven body. There are no toilets in Lothlorien. Celeborn tells Gimli to just “go on a tree, like a hound”. Legolas spends the entire quest feeling sad, left out and excluded from the camaraderie building activity of the communal morning shite. Half-elves may need a shit but only sometimes. Like when they’re particularly sad, or ate something bad. When Finrod discovered humans he was fascinated by the concept. Lúthien (re-released edition) and Arwen had the capability to take a shit but chose not to. Elros wanted to but couldn’t. With the Maiar it’s Russian Roulette. Saruman can’t but tells everyone he can. Mithrandir can. Sauron won’t, which explains a lot.”

— JRR Tolkien, Laws and Customs Among the Eldar

[jessilynallendilla]

sometimes the curtains are just blue and sometimes white because the author forgot he wrote they were blue

Art Critic: the skull in the corner is artfully placed on the periphery of vision to symbolise the omnipresence of death, important thematically to the artist’s conception of life and mortality.

Actual Artist: aw shit, I got all this negative space, guess I’ll stick a skull there that looks pretty rad.

[jessilynallendilla]

Sometimes in TOS Kirk's shirt is randomly this weird greenish shade and maybe it's the lighting or maybe it's that he put his shirt through the wash with a blue one.

[jessilynallendilla]

CONFIT GARLIC PARKER HOUSE ROLLS

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

[jessilynallendilla]

I saw this mentioned as a bit of an aside on another post but since it was a little bit besides the point of that post decided to make my own post about it instead of derailing that one.

It IS very interesting how in Lord of The Rings orcs are the soldiers of a (compared to the rest of the world) highly industrialized and technologically advanced military force, yet pretty much every high fantasy media that has borrowed the concept of orcs since then has instead given them the "tribal savages" treatment, and i don't know how I failed to realize that difference until I saw someone else bring it up.

Like of course this is not saying that the depiction of orcs in LoTR is not problematic for a lot of different reasons (there have been years of discussions unpacking that) but it IS an interesting change and I think a pretty ideologically loaded one.

Thinking about it makes me remember this article I read a few years ago about how, regardless of genre trappings, a lot of high fantasy (especially in ttrpgs and videogames) actually has a lot more in common narratively and thematically with wild west ""cowboys vs indians"" films and shows than it has with its aesthetic inspirations. Like once you look at it with that lense in mind it becomes really conspicuous how much these works like giving the "tribal savages" treatment to any sapient creature that exists for the heroes to fight.

[jessilynallendilla]

When your apparently magical grandpa can't die so you have an apparently magical baby brother for a couple days. Anyway I'm predictably obsessed with @emilyarmadillo 's Raising Alfie.

[jessilynallendilla]

dog eating a hot dog at the mariners game