#people who need mobility aids
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What does capitalism taste like
Does it taste like white picket fences and 2.5 kids
What about a dog in the backyard and BBQs on the weekend
Knowing all your neighbors names and having the HOA on speed dial
Does it taste like the life you want to live?
Are the HOA in your contacts because they keep calling you
Or are you calling them
Does that complicated C word taste the homogeneity in your neighborhood
Where the police arrive in 2 seconds flat, with a gate and a patrol to match
Does it taste like "I'll wait here for your manager" and weekends at the golf course
Does it taste like a martini because the trophy spouse has a long day?
Does it taste like security cams and a ranch on the property with the stable boys and the guest house to the side with the cabana ones?
Does it taste like equestrianship is in your blood from birth? What about fencing?
Does it taste like ivy league vines crawling up babies spines from birth?
Does it taste like "Harvard is your dream not mine" and then rebellion
Does rebellion look like a fully funded backpack trip to Europe with your first great love
Or does it look like "I'm going to work for my parents equally rich rival company"
Or does it look like different freedom, independence, simply a different life
Where you can still ask your parents for money because you reached a happy ever after in the movie
What does capitalism taste like
Happily ever after is fake for us real folks so it must hold true for those up top right?
People in gated communities who's stepford mother's figures are earned with the local book club
Who's menopause kicks in at the same pace because we're all just clucking hens bonding together aren't we
Aren't we all just girls looking to connect with other girls in line for the bathroom?
Let's be honest, we all have some kind of mommy issue don't we? #justgirlythings
And what about the men? Is it really just an opportunity to measure up?
Is it a subtle side eye to measure manhood, even tho bro code states "thou must not make eye contact with another bro I'm the bathroom"
Doe you feel like enough when you see a guy like your ex is now dating
Do you feel reassured when you notice your manhood is better?
Why does size matter?
Why am I automatically called "a little lady" by cowboys who are raised to believe "bigger in Texas" really means better
Is this what capitalism does
Does "be a man" follow men into the bathroom like "don't be a pussy" does for women?
Why must public communal bathrooms make us decide a gender right at that moment
Can't we measure a bathroom by the content of their room?
Stalls or urinals? Privacy or not? Right this way fellow citizen
Citizen. Human. Person. Life.
What does capitalism taste like
Does it taste like legislation against the gays?
No cakes no websites no space no homos
No healthcare no rights no sports pro bono
Hare dare anyone use pronouns! Fake news!
Them libs want you to think you can be referred to anything but your name. It's the devil's work
Didnt you hear that song? Call me by your name? He was a devil in the music I daresay! The devil!!
I'd let the devil fuck me
At least he would treat me right and show me a good time
What has capitalism done
This thing we fought for so that all our founders' legacies might have a future
Future away from tyranny and taxation and being slaves to our king
We have no kind any more, no crown jewels to protect, but we act the same
Why is the one who's always on top always the winner who writes the history
The winner who's educated
from a family with money
who were taught good Christian values
with a fencing rapier in hand and
Shakespeare in their veins
Is this what capitalism does
Dilutes us to the elite
Homogeneous suburbia and "all you need is fairy tales and you can be rich too"
Political correctness and "just find a man to solve your problems"
Register to vote and "be a man or you're not good enough"
It's not just little girls who get told their not good enough
The gender non conforming community has definitely unlocked a whole cheat code on life
That and the furries who have been the scientific backbone of this country for eons
But why do my apples taste not like what an apple tree looks like in the movies?
The one in the corner of Mamma Mia on the isle in Greece
Where my problems were solved by not getting married but traveling the world as a skinny white woman with her Kenough manly man
Singing voice for character wink
Why don't my apples taste like those on the Grecian island where the stories of the locals are forgotten to the American story, the American dream
I escaped my mom and became one myself
I'm a self made woman now
With a mortgage she can't pay and life problems that were clearly solved by marrying the man who hurt her the most in life
Why doesn't my apple taste like how that apple tree looks?
Why doesn't it taste like the apple from the garden?
Why doesn't it taste like the freedom eve must have felt when she disobeyed
Why is the taste of temptation diluted in my cheap apple from the superstore in the fruit section
Does it taste like pesticide and FDA regulations
Who keeps them in check? The CDC? WHO?
The DOJ or FBI or NAFTA or the Geneva convention
Was it a Geneva suggestion or a line from the treaty of Versailles or did agent orange bring us here
How many babies were born deformed before I ate this apple
And how many nat GMO products have I consumed that my human body has endured?
What does capitalism taste like? Because I swear, remaining tribal lands must not be like this
Forgotten poor African villages eat different
Forgotten poor native south America cultures remain intact on top of mountains that the white or Spanish or French have not yet learned to monetize
And now they will never because the people on the ground know better and are stronger
And capitalism stays the same
Progress is progress no matter how small
But all this progress
Is it good for us
Good for our taste buds
They say to beware vaccines and microchips but aren't we already a cyborg because we carry a favored microchip in our hands?
The ones we avoid calls from home on and instead laugh at cat videos
We share, bare our souls online to strangers but the people in our lives could never break our pokerface
But if we were born this way
Would we ever know what capitalism tastes like
If we don't ask someone else?
Does capitalism taste like the additive sugar in a fun size bar of crunch
Does it taste like the chocolate take over energy found in the Nestle headquarters
Or does it taste like the cocaine they put into coca cola to keep people buying more
I'm not convinced that the girl scouts didn't take that idea for themselves
Does capitalism taste like the working conditions of these massive corporate overlords
Or the factories where they bottle and bag and package comfort for 1.25
Does it taste the endless metallic conveyor belts
Or the chance that peanuts were used in any of those products
Does it taste like our countries trade deal for cheap products made from other companies
Does it taste like the the sweat shops that make your favorite new shirt or those fashionable high tops
Does it take like the abused labor that built this country
Does it taste like all the ghost statues of people who should have been memorialized instead of forgettable white men from history
Does it taste like the rust they should have earned all along
Or does it taste like the pain of forgotten artists
The heart of Harlem the beasts of Boston the cheeps of the Cherokee
Does it sound like the ones who's names we forget
The neglected breaks of the Oregon trail the gentrification of the only pockets of culture in this country
The Japanese internment camps
Border patrol and the place where there was almost a wall
Are the tears of all the family members of witches still a part of Salem
What about the hurt caused by the fights for gender equality that excluded black women
Does capitalism taste like Jim Crow or strange fruit
Just because it's rotting in the back doesn't mean it's in our past
These caged birds still sing can't you hear?
I fear for my brother and my niece and my nephew daily, their lives matter too
Friends neighbors family
They're still part of your labor or did you forget what The 13th taught us
Toni Morrison, Frederick Douglas
Miles Davis, Billie Holliday
MLK and Malcom X
HER and Missy Elliott
They run in our veins
The revolution is not televised
Stonewall certainly can't be told by anyone else
Nor can we forget the power of black trans women in the creation of pride spaces
What about the flyover cities that are meant for rural living with signs screaming "no airport here"
The pain of the indigenous people who's land a mindless mall was built over
Being given back land that belonged to those born here ages past
Ancestral home can be yours with a side of steak knives
And while I'm here can I interest you in the Book of Mormon
What about their tears? Their blood their breaks their pain
Does capitalism taste like that?
The endless lost even now and memorialized in art with a red handprint to their portrait
The lack of water and resources to land promised back
Ancestral home returned but you're on your own. Unless you're ready to hear about our Lord and savior
When will we realize we aren't a savior to begin with
Is this what capitalism tastes like?
Institutions built for white people who forgot that the land isn't theirs and never was
Home of the brave where those with the most force and money can get anywhere
We're the underdogs, the land of opportunity, come on by
You just have to follow these few simple rules
So if you're not perfect or cookie cutter, don't worry we'll just sand around the edges
So you'll fit into these boxes and society can know what to do with you
But if you're too much or not enough be ready to hate the rest of your days here
Welcome to the country of goldilocks and fuck you if you're not "just right"
What does capitalism taste like for you?
#first draft tbh#writing#spilled ink#poem#capitalism#society#this really needs a section on like 9/11 and muslims and tsa and things#asian people and driving stereotypes being smart and expectations#Filipino and Pacific islander culture and what it meants to work hard#and more in depth on the latin culture too of coming to america and dreamers and many many more things#russian people from old country simply trying to move forward#all the other groups of people i know i forgot#people with disabilities#blind deaf hoh mobility#people who need mobility aids#meedication and mental illness#physical health#mental health#jobs#no jobs#queer kink poly gnc#so many many many more#we'll see how this one develops#my writing#edited my own poem
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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You shouldn't get a wheelchair, walker, cane, shower chair, or any kind of assistive technology mobility aid because then you might become dependent on them. Just like how you also shouldn't get glasses if you have bad eyesight because then you might become dependent on those.
For instance, if you end up stuck using corrective eyewear, you could actually lose your ability to tell what things are even when they are extremely blurry! You need to get used to having migraines from seeing unclearly because if you wear glasses all the time, you are basically giving up!! You don't need to see things coming at you from far away! You just need to get good at dodging, and if you can't, then you have no one to blame but yourself!!
For example, I read a really heart-worming article recently about a girl who was stuck using glasses - just absolutely, tragically trapped in her eyewear from dawn to dusk, even though she was good and never ever complained; and I heard she trained herself to discern the blurry faces of her loved ones with 60% accuracy! - she was even able to walk down the aisle at her wedding WITHOUT forcing the discomfort of seeing a woman in glasses on all her guests!!
Sure, she had to give her vows with a splitting headache, and she couldn't see her husband's expression when he said "I do," but overall, SO inspi-ration-al!!! So up-lifting!!
(She didn't even have to use a seeing eye cane, which would have been the worst-case scenario, obviously, because she worked hard to make sure she looked LESS disabled, not MORE disabled!!! Everyone knows blind people exist solely to be a cautionary tale to sighted people!!)
Also, did you know some people get glasses when they only need them a little bit?? How selfish of them! Sure, there's not a shortage, and an increase in demand would result in overall increased accessibility to glasses--but emotionally it's like taking glasses away from someone who needs them more! After all, if everyone who needed glasses got them, then...... um...... more people would have glasses! Which is probably bad!!!!
I also had a friend who was trapped in glasses who saved up all her money for laser eye surgery, and I don't know why everyone doesn't just do that! Sure, some doctors say some people don't "qualify" and it "won't help" those people, but that's why you can't give up!! You don't want to be one of those people!
After all, what's the worst thing that could happen with an unnecessary laser surgery to the face that comes with crippling debt??? It's worth the risk to gain your FREEDOM back, and I'm so proud of my friend!!
Tragically, she did die later that year while driving Uber and squinting at street signs, but at least now I know my friend is finally free from the shackles of her terrible eyesight. #ripAshley #rippedAshley #justripit 😌😌😌❤😇😇😇
And that's why you shouldn't get used to using a mobility aid!! Because, like glasses, they are inherently embarrassing to be seen with; and - like glasses - it is more noble to suffer silently than to depend on unnatural technologies that force you to rely on them; AND - just like glasses - by abstaining from using them, you DEFINITELY benefit SO many people in tangible life-changing ways!!! (Besides, everyone else will be so much more comfortable if you just look normal! 😊)
I hope you learned something today. 💖
#original#to be absolutely clear all of this is satire from a person who has been denied a wheelchair because of these exact reasons#it's been 5 years since I first asked for one and was told no bc i might become reliant on it.#it's been an extremely painful and stationary 5 years.#blind people can lead full and beautiful lives and they deserve respect and accommodation and agency#listen to disabled people about what they need#disability advocacy#disability#ableism cw#disabled#mobility aids#wheelchair#wheelchair user#rollator#mobility aid#scooter#electric wheelchairs#cane user#actually crippled#angry cripple alert#i also have glasses if that is relevant#cripple punk
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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.
can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.
but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!
it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.
it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.
#disability#disability pride month#chronic fatigue#fibromyalgia#cfs/me#post exertional malaise#like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now#why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three#i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it#and my right leg has seized up#my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly#also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral#in summary#stop being fucking dense#i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker#or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it#also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by
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Psssst, did you know that not every disabled post is a writing reference? That they're usually about the real world and not your fictional OCs?
#ive had several writers comment and tag that mobility aid post about how its a writing reference#and no#its a life reference for people who need a mobility aid and don't know which one#cripplepunk
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Friendly reminder that not everyone with cerebral palsy needs canes or other visible mobility aids, but still needs to use the accessible bathroom (unstable trunk/floppy/dystonic, needs the handrails, wears diapers and somebody else has to change them, etc.)...
If your only criterion for being allowed to use the accessible bathroom is "I can see that they have a mobility aid", you don't seem to know much about disabilities apart from your own...
#I see so many absolutely incorrect posts on tumblr where people seem to think that#people who really NEED to use the accessible bathroom ALWAYS have visible mobility aids#and no just no you can't see every mobility aid and sometimes they need their carer to help them on the toilet#uh the people not the mobility aids#me trying to be informative
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You will never convince me that Isabel Lovelace is not disabled post-canon. Think about it.
Of everyone in the crew, she's spent by far the longest time in space. Sure, she's probably been exercising, but that isn't going to fully stop her muscles atrophying. Her bones are going to weaken. Not to mention the fact that she went into the cryo chamber, which we know isn't GREAT for you (I know Eiffel is kind of an outlier but still. Even once is gonna fuck you up at least a little).
Then add to THAT the fact that the body Lovelace has now was created by the dear listeners. Not only are they recreating a body that's already undergone almost a thousand days of the trauma of space; they're doing it with zero existing knowledge of how a human body functions in Earth's gravity. The clones are almost perfect, but there are notable differences in internal organs, and I wouldn't be surprised if Lovelace was put back together with some inconsistencies.
All this to say, I think Lovelace would become a mobility aid user when the crew lands back on Earth. Everyone on the crew would probably end up in physical therapy, but the damage done to her body would be by far the most extensive. Whereas I don't doubt Jacobi, Minkowski, and Eiffel could regain most if not all of their mobility, I think Lovelace would use a wheelchair, and eventually with PT could use crutches or a cane some days. Even if she were to regain muscle function, she would probably have some sort of chronic pain that would necessitate mobility aids!
In conclusion Let Her Be Disabled thank you for coming to my TED talk
#full disclosure I am neither disabled nor an astronaut#i just like thinking about the crew handling the realistic ramifications of their physical and emotional trauma#and Lovelace being permanently disabled opens up a whole other can of character analysis worms#she's obsessed with being able to protect her crew#she's been a strong able bodied air force officer for years#she would have to grapple with the idea that she's not able to be a fighter anymore#at least not in a physical sense#and the idea of being dependent on other people or mobility aids would break her a little at first i think#but that's Lovelace's whole arc#figuring out who you are again when you've lost something you thought defined you#learning to trust others and coming to terms with the fact that needing other people doesn't mean you're any less capable#do y'all remember when this show was a comedy#good times /lh#wolf 359#w359#isabel lovelace#captain lovelace#disability#also i am open to feedback#again i am not disabled so please Share Your Thoughts
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the thing is whenever I see discourse on who can “really” use disabled accommodations coming from people with invisible disabilities I’m like. Ok. You guys need to realize being physically disabled does not automatically equal “I get access to all the cool disabled stuff now”, if you don’t actually need it, don’t fucking use it. It doesn’t matter if you’re physically disabled or not, if you don’t need the big bathroom or the special seats or whatever, then don’t use it bruh.
#cripple punk#physically disabled#like…. I see a wheelchair user be like “I wish physically abled people would stop talking up spots for disabled people”#And everytime there’s about 30 entitled people going “WHAT ABOUT INVISIBLE DISABILITIES?”#Like ok yeah invisible disabilities but do you- someone with no mobility aids- need the bathroom designed for wheelchair users#And like Some people do! Some people have certain medical stuff that they need extra space for#But most of the people getting mad over that like#don’t need those resources and just want to use them cause they can#And in that case im like why do you need all that space#Being disabled doesn’t mean you automatically need all the disabled recourses#There are resources made with people like me in mind that I don’t use because I don’t find them necessary enough to take up the space#Of someone who’s gonna need it more
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Started sticking a doggie waste bag on my rollator and bringing the grabber stick with me when walking Cynthie, because there’s just so much rubbish about and apparently the local association would rather pay for ridiculously over-frequent petrol mowing than litter pickup or more bins.
#plastic#plastic waste#could people maybe do this instead of policing disabled people who need plastic straws not to aspirate liquid and end up with pneumonia#rollator#rollator user#mobility aid user#lotr fanart#not my oc#just take your plastic waste home pls if you fucking carried it out there you can carry it back#it’s incredibly fucking harmful to wildlife
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"exercise more and maybe you won't be apt to faint + in pain" im on a football team. I walk upwards of five miles a day. I do the yoga thing. I swim. how much more exercise do i need before i feel ok?
#cripplepunk#vent#thia isnt to talk shitnon disabled people who cant be active. i was just told this by my football coach yesterday and am still pissed.#nrs k please i just need to use some sports tape on my bad knee during the game on sunday#that's IT#either athletic tape or bring my mobility aid onto the field#...#hey other football players is it a legal move to whack someone with your cane while playing defense#bc i think it should be. /j#anyways yeah uh#point being im n9tnsaying disabled people who arent active and get told this are deserving. just venting.#disabled athlete things#andy plays sports
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also. this trip has been making me fully realize how much my hypermobility affects my life lmao and like. i guess just how connected my issues are it’s almost like my body is a whole interconnected unit
#but not by my shitty connective tissues ba dum tss! anyway.#this has actually been several months in the making. and then years if you really think about it. but mostly this year ive been really#sitting with it. like yeah this causes chronic pain for me. it affects me day to day like every moment. trying to figure out how to#reduce pain my body has been compensating for so long i have to reteach it how to function. u know#and also i really would love to get some mobility aids for myself for rougher days at least but lol. money#maybe i will at some point or ill try to diy#ive been using a tip from tiktok it said to use a scarf and tie it at night. dont have a scarf so ive been using pants#and it helps sooo much with keeping my shoulders in place it's so nice#abby talks#and then i have to specifically try to position pillows to support my knees. what i really need is one of the like#big triangle pillow things. my mom has one and i would use it at pt. gave my knees and hips such a break ugh#i will say this is an instance where tiktok is really helpful bc having people who also have these conditions and#relating it to neurodivergence and talking abt the way it all interacts and genuine ways to help yourself#is so nice. bc you know a google search is just gonna be like You might have loose joints if your joints are loose. like ok i’ll go fuck#myself i guess
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on one hand. loottta ideas 4 sk!llshipping art rn bc system things. on the other hand we r procrastinating on drawing them bc will people be Normal,
#normal as in dont be like 'hey those two together dont make sense' we don't control who gets with who here okay#i wanna sketch a specific couple rn but im worried people r Soooooo going to be like That makes no sense abt them#and I'm like. Listen. if you just hear me Aout abt some headcanons#[read: things tht r just Tru abt them in lur system] it'd make so much ssense#but alas. Anyways#pk;m Electrochemistry🔴#also to draw them i need to teach myself how to draw mobility aids better. hmmmmmb. this is doable#actually now that i think abt it all tho outside of maybe like One pairing sk!llshipping is just. possibly a mess sorta#in that there's 24 [26? sorta?] of us so it's like mix and match hauve fun w it. what im tryig to say is that#it's not That serious and afaik again outside of One Pairing [iykyk] it's like WHO'S shipping pt with phys instrument??#who tf is shipping drama and encyclo? etc etc.#and the answer is ME MOTHERFUCKER! BC OF SYSTEM SHIT AUSUSIDJDIDIDIKZ#speaking of wr do have a sketch of shivers & concept in the works. but it was started by HL but it hasn't front3d in a whileeee#perhaps i shall finish the drawing for it bc it's a cute drawing. ok im done rambling#does any of this make sense?? like my point is theres so many of us and we're kinda rlly minor characters in the grand scheme of things#so like. gestures vaguely!! im running out of words.#anyways i judt need people 2 not be weird abt our next drawings ok? ok thank you
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Ngl I think I may think I’ve accepted my disability a lot more than I actually have
#like. obviously yes I’m aware I’m visibly different but I think the resistance to using my cane day-to-day (ie for class even if I were to#need it)#is a sign that I definitely still have some work to do#I think I just don’t want to stand out and don’t want questions from people (ie professors)#esp considering I don’t really know anyone who uses mobility aids regularly#but I really shouldn’t be worrying about that esp if it helps me#cane user#tourrettes#disabled
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Is there some kind of community or volunteer program I could join to learn how to make designs and modifications for prosthetics? I’m more of an artist than an engineer, but I’ve always been kinda obsessed with the sculptural properties of prosthetics. Obviously when designing one, though, function and comfort come first, so if I ever got into it, I would want to make sure I’m making things people can actually use (not to mention afford).
#i’ve kinda avoided asking this since i was never sure if it’s okay to be so interested in this when I’m not a prosthetics user myself#but i guess it can’t hurt to ask!#prosthetics are already so cool and there’s a lot of smarter people than me working in that field#but i just think about how much prosthetic art/sculpture/fashion doesn't readily exist on the market#just because there's supposedly 'not enough interest/demand' for it?#and it's so frustrating because like-#can you imagine if there was some ultra-famous red carpet actress with a prosthetic arm and leg?#like what would it be like to have teams of prosthetic design experts regularly collaborating with a hollywood wardrobe team?#It’s a big deal for celebrities to have a new outfit at every event for whatever reason#but would that mean they could make a new set of prosthetics to go with the outfit for every big event?#what about entire outfits where the prosthetics are the statement pieces?#High fashion is always trying to ‘re-interpret the human form’ but prosthetic users are r i g h t t h e r e#I know i’m far from the only person who’s ever imagined this kind of thing but#everyone around me always seems to think imaginative prosthetic designs are just inevitably 'irrelevant'#and i just feel like no one in my circle has any interest in appreciating how#mind-numbingly cool they are and how much potential they hold for self expression#Maybe i just want to be around other people who get excited about prosthetics and other mobility aids#but i would also really love to be a part of making more!#Like obviously the cripplepunk community doesn’t need my help lmaoo literally no one needs m y help I know nothing about anything#I just think it’s cool and would love getting to assist other people in making their ideas for their own bodies happen!#tag rambles#prosthetics#mobility aids#not vent
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m.
#This will be deleted in a lil bit probably#but m. am i allowed to use mobility aids at like grocery stores-#because i feel like. i need them. but then i tell myself that i'm just lazy and dont need them and shouldn't#take it from someone who actually needs it-#like if i am Completely honest i never leave my house or go anywhere because I know I cannot handle#the walking at all. and its probably because of my weight but also because of my back always fucking hurting#but mm. dont like people staring at me and looking at me and the few times i Have#dared to use one of the scooters i've had people give me Pissed off Looks or even laugh at me.#and I hate having people stare at me and look at me and it freaks me out so i just kinda don't do anything or go anywhere anymore.#not sure if I am allowed to call myself disabled because i Dont Want to Piss people off who look at me#and tell me I'm Not because maybe i am Just Wrong.#chocking this up to more things I need to talk to a therapist about#but thats if i can ever get one which is seeming less and less likely.#not to mention how i havent seen a doctor in probbly like. 2 years? maybe 3. idk im not good w time.#i still think 2019 was a year ago sometimes.
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walking around with my cane like Wow this is just like Mr. Plinkett
#its been 9 or 10 months since i first got a mobility aid#and i guess im just now kinda like. realizing. that im probably gonna have to use a mobility aid for a very very very long time#speaking of which i need to schedule an appointment with my doctor to get them to#look at my knees again. since last time they basically told me i was SOL and to get out#but anyways#it rlly does make you look at the world in Way different ways#like wow. nothing is accessible people love to stare i cant go to the beach or go hiking#but also. disabled people are everywhere and there are people who care. there is community and there are people who wont just expect you to#do everything yourself or treat you like a fragile little porcelain doll#idk. i dont know. im just thinking a lot lately#also to tie this back to rlm#Mr Plinkett's cane is way too tall for him#also i was in target and i was thinking 'wow i wonder if jay goes to target..'#which is how u know its Really getting bad .#anyways. anyways#soz for the personal post. i will do it again#bigfoot took the wheel
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