#people talk about and handle disability and how disabled people are treated. and never ‘we should ‘fix’ disability’!

[another-dra-anew]

:angy: the fact i can’t talk about [redacted], a character who’s such a interesting culmination of how hopes peak and their system fails and neglects people, and also of how having a school like this has given people the opportunities to do great things which change lives, all because they’re a spoiler for something THAT IS LITERALLY [redacted] fucking GETS ME sometimes.

[1-ker0sene-1]

i’m the era of disabled!reader, would you write something for reader who has epilepsy? 🥺 can’t find any fics in my chosen fandom with epileptic reader (or oc) and it makes me sad 🥺

{I hope you don't mind me pairing with Simon on this one ♥️ I hope you enjoy! And please if I get anything wrong lemme know! I'm more than willing to come back and edit!}

CW: improper seizure safety (not by you or Simon), epilepsy seizure description

In full honesty, Simon didn't know if he could do it in the beginning of your relationship. He didn't think he could handle your seizures.. Of course now- having been properly educated about it. He would absolutely scold himself for thinking that, you just need a little bit of help sometimes. You aren't a damn charity case and he hates when people treat you like it. You deserve to be comfortable and safe, not pitied and prodded at. Not only is he your partner and best friend, Simon has become your biggest advocate. Of support for your condition, but also your independence.

One of the first things you both sat down and talked about when getting serious, was seizure safety. Simon needed to know how to help, at least as much as he possibly could without hurting you. He also learned throughout this, that not all seizures are the same. Sometimes you're just.. Absent, with a flutter of your eyes or a quiet mumble as your gaze flickers to nowhere. You just seem lost for a couple minutes. Other times it's the seizures everyone thinks of, where you stiffen, twitch and seize, sometimes even falling to the floor. How can he help? He's a little stressed when learning that there's not much he can do but carefully maneuver you into a recovery position, put something under your head, and just be there for you.

Simon won't ever forget your scariest seizure, you two were just shopping. Simple. He left your side for forty-eight seconds. Exactly forty-eight, he remembers. He just went to grab something you forgot in a different aisle. Picking up a box of chicken stock for dinner, he hears the slam of your body hitting the floor. He remembers the feeling of his stomach twisting into knots, dropping the container and making a run back to your aisle when he hears someone call out.

It's not you calling, you're far into the seizing, a citizen found you before Simon did. Now it's not the bastards fault, this stranger didn't know how to help you, so in the panic the man was holding your shoulders down trying to still you. Simons hackles raise, words ripped from the masked mans throat instantly.

"Off her- NOW."

Simon didn't think, he just moved, his big meaty hand grabbed the man by the back of the neck and threw him away from you. He's honestly been nicer to enemy soldiers. He didn't even spare the stranger another glance, falling hard to his knees next to you.

" 'm right here baby.. Right here.."

He rips the balaclava off his head, definitely taking a tuff of hair from his scalp. Not that he would notice right now. Simon carefully lifted your head just to slip it under, the softer fabric better than the hard floor. Stroking your hair away from your face, he doesn't hold you down- but his hands are close to you, resting featherlight on your cheek.

"You're safe doll.. I'm right here.. it'll pass."

He murmurs to you, unsure if you're hearing, but either way he keeps talking you through. Now, his arms gently hook under your leg, being as gentle as he can- his hands position you to your recovery position and on your side. Fishing out his phone quickly, he's already got the timer going. Less than five minutes. Please be less than five minutes.

"I have you sweetheart.."

Simon is right by you, watching your every movement closely. He's shoved away any items, just you and him on the floor.

"Should we call an ambulance?"

A stranger asks, Simon shakes his head. Never taking his eyes off you. You just had to go through it. If it's not a long one you should recover alright.

"I have her. Just stay back and move on-"

He snaps, he's stressed, he knows they're just concerned but he doesn't want anyone fucking with you right now. Simons eyes light up as the seizing calms, under two minutes, you're coming back to him. He finally lets out the massive breath he's been holding in. His thumb caresses your cheek.

"You're alright.. there you are.. you're okay."

Simon curls himself closer to you, stroking your cheek as your eyes slowly start adjusting back. You're foggy, confused, he's holding you a little closer and whispering softly.

"it's Simon, love.. Your Simons right here. You're right here.. we're in the store baby."

Now that you were coming back from it, Simon slips himself behind you as he moves you to lay against his chest. It's a while before you're able to be moved, waiting until you're fully alert again, he's taking it slow carrying you back to the car and getting you home. The rest of the week is spent easing you through the recovery. Low lights, he knows your head is aching. Lots. Absolutely lots of sweet talking. His strong girl.. he calls you. Making sure you take your meds on time and get plenty of rest.

"I'm sorry Si.. I didn't mean to scare you.."

You mumble, in bed together. Simon is sat up against the headboard, holding you close on his lap. His hand strokes locks of your hair, shaking his head sternly.

"Don't be apologizin' for anything. Didn't do a damn thing wrong-"

His hand slips to hold your chin, making you lock eyes with him.

"Hear me? Nothin'. I got you.. I'll always have my girl."

[mxtxfanatic]

i think you'd articulate it much better than i could but i'd love to know your thoughts about disability in mxtx's work!

i love the way she has all her mcs deal with spiritual (?) disabilities (corelessness, without a cure, the shackles). i'd say it's like half a step removed from actual rep, but she handles it really thoughtfully imo!

( maybe including other stuff/characters like the bm trauma etc)

Idk, I’ve never thought of stuff like the golden core removals or Without-a-cure as disabilities, because they only affect cultivation, which is not innate to the human body. It’s like claiming that an able-bodied person has a mobility disability because they no longer have a car. Yeah it takes longer to get places because you have to walk, now, but that doesn’t make you disabled. I am much more willing to talk about disability in mxtx novels through the lens of mental illness.

I like how mental illnesses like trauma and ptsd are handled through community care and not random vent sessions as stand-ins for modern therapy. I feel like this takes a more realistic approach on what it could look like when you take trauma seriously instead of relegating all healing to individualistic habit changes. For instance: the onset of Xie Lian’s spiral into his panic attacks and depression was being abandoned by his closest friends and then the suicide of his parents. Before that, he was able to continue on after the fall of Xianle based on their support of him, but after everyone leaves and he’s alone, he sinks heavily into despair. It is only after experiencing the unconditional support of Wuming that he is able to pull himself out of the pit, and meeting Hua Cheng later is what gives him to confidence to actually open himself back up again instead of taking on issues alone because he had no one to rely on anymore.

In mdzs, Wei Wuxian during the war and immediately post-war aftermath is a very tense person, still polite and charming but very distant from his peers. Part of that is the cultivation world beginning to treat him differently as they covet his power, but another part is that he had to remain on guard to protect himself, even from the people who he was formerly closest with. There was no one that he could depend on until he liberated the Qionqi Path labor camp. Afterwards, we see how Wei Wuxian is returned to his silly, playful self after spending time with the Wen remnants in the Burial Mounds, even though logically, this was the most dangerous time of his life outside of literal war in his first lifetime. The difference, however, is that he actually has people that he doesn’t have to guard against and who he can be honest and free with despite all the messy lines of debt and repayment that initially bound them together.

In svsss, though I don’t think Shen Qingqiu had any mental health issues, the thing that differentiates him from Shen Jiu is that Shen Qingqiu built up relationships with his martial siblings in the few years he had transmigrated, while the original goods kept himself intentionally isolated in his own sea of bitterness and jealousy. When the world turns against Shen Jiu, it is of his own making, but when the same happens to Shen Qingqiu, he has a whole mountain at his back ready to defend him—or even just his body! And in the post-canon when something happens on bingqiu’s time away, his first thought is “let’s go back to the sect for protection.” He never has a chance to fall into that same despair because he knows he has a community of support in case anything goes wrong. On the opposite end of things, the lack of love, community, and inclusion is what eventually sets Luo Binghe on his descent into madness, and it is the assurance that Shen Qingqiu both loves him and will never abandon him that pulls him back from the brink.

I’ve seen quite a few people make snide comments about how “of course” mxtx characters react badly to trauma because they exist in a setting without therapy, but I think this both ignores the autonomy of the characters (wwx, xl, or even yqy do not react to being traumatized in the same way that, say, sj or mq do) and also the fact that the solution to a lot of mental health issues that arise from trauma is a change in circumstances and having community. So even though therapy doesn’t exist in mxtx novels, the solutions to a lot of these problems still feels realistic and intentional rather than falling into “everyone traumatized will turn evil” or “love cures all, don’t look too deeply into it,” while also putting onus on the individual to choose healing rather than it being something that just passively happens to them.

[julieverne]

Okay so

Maura Isles would never have gotten rid of Bass.

In season 1 we see him in the first and last episodes. She's so worried about him that she takes his heavy ass to work instead of leaving him with his usual sitter. She shields his body with hers (from memory) and he saves her life (she'd have been found if she wasn't crouching to check on her tortoise).

She calls him buddy. She calls him sweetie.

He's her only friend prior to season 1, where Jane and Maura start tentatively friending. He's a misunderstood stand in for her own psyche, for her own maladjusted attempts to fit into society.

She's had him since he was a baby. They grew up together; they both appear to be in their thirties. She's had him for life.

An aside here; I have a bird nearly my own age that I've had for fifteen years. I am disabled and considering giving her up for her sake but finding her a home is difficult because she hates other birds, and fostering her out is hard because people keep carnivores and she also hates men. Recently she started self-canabalising due to my heath condition reducing the amount of time I could spend with her. But I know how much work she is, and how hard it is to find someone who gives parrots the amount of attention they crave. I love her, and if I could give her to a good home I would consider it for her sake. But for mine? Her sweet fluffy face floofing out in scratch anticipation, her little chicken chuckles and honks and sneezes, her little beak taps on my arm before she clambours up it - these fill my days and I would be bereft without her. I suffer, when I travel, because I keep my heart in that bird.

So the insinuation in Jan Nash's season 5 of Rizzoli and Isles that Maura has sufficient human contact and no longer needs her lifetime companion is just rude, on behalf of both Maura and fans of the show.

The assumption that Bass, a house tortoise, with one/two caretakers (the sitter and Angela would also be familiar to him) would adjust to being in a zoo - okay, fine, Maura's working hours are terrible and she's never home, and she's not the most affectionate person with anyone but Jane and sometimes Jo, but to insinuate that simply because he's not a mammal that he has no feelings or routine - that shoving a tortoise into a muddy puddle and not talking to him - is an appropriate way to treat an animal that has been a family member for three decades - is disingenuous.

As for Maura allowing it to happen? She's settled in Boston, she has a permanent house guest that is familiar with him, and she's not the kind of cruel person to abandon something she loves on a whim. The only reason she'd have given him up - and this should have been mentioned in canon - was that he was having behavioural issues, from hormonal to boredom, that he was too large for Maura to safely handle - he's a hecking chonk even at the start - or that something about her home was found to be damaging to tortoise habitation (backed by several sources and cited in professional scientific articles).

Maura loves fiercely and often. She feels abandoned - by her birth and adoptive parents, and Bass was there to see her through, on the nights Jane wasn't there.

Considering Bass was only seen in three episodes of the show (Pilot, When the Gun Goes Bang Bang Bang, Killer in High Heels), the production cost would have been nil if they'd never had him onscreen again. Jo was also only in a handful of episodes, and dog actors are expensive, but dogs don't live as long, so they could have written her out any way other than 'we found her owners after Jane spent five long years bachelor bonding with her dog', but Jane's the kind to give up on people and things, so it's not as hurtful.

Maura has internalised her octracisation by society and harboured it in a tortoise. People don't understand tortoises. She too is misunderstood, so she vibes with Bass on a surface level, but after so many years, he deserved better than 'the zoo'.

Anyway that's my mini Bass thesis I'm tired.

And I added some pictures because he's actually very cute.

There's a thing about people who aren't neurotypical; we bond with things the average person considers ugly, emotionless or cumbersome, because we're often considered those things. Maura sees herself, the outcast Queen of the Dead, in Bass. And being abandoned herself, she would never abandon him.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

How to Write Disability: SPOP vs ATLA

(TW: ableism)

(before i start talking about this, i have to tell you that i am not physically disabled so my observations may not be a 100% correct. i'm only writing this post in relation to my experience with autism. if you feel like something i've said is inaccurate or insensitive, please feel free to let me know!)

so the two characters i wanted to talk about, in reference to writing disabled/neurodivergent characters, is Entrapta from SPOP and Toph from ATLA.

Entrapta is an autistic woman who grew up in solitude, only surrounded by robots. as a result, she is desperate for human etherian connection while at the same time, struggling with social interactions because of her autism.

she was pretty heavily autistic-coded, even before the writers confirmed that she was canonically autistic; she has a hyperfixation on tech and machinery, she is shown to stim a lot, she has a preference for tiny food (likely a sensory issue) and she is not good at reading social cues or communicating in a way that neurotypical people would understand. she is also an extremely intelligent and intuitive person who is not only good at handling tech but also shows love and affection towards people in her own way.

Toph is a character from ATLA, who was born blind. not completely unlike Entrapta, Toph was also raised in solitude, although she had her parents and servants to look after her.

her parents were convinced that Toph was incapable of being independent, because of her blindness, and were unwilling to look past her disability and treat her as a person. as a result, Toph is extremely rebellious and stubborn. she is an incredibly capable individual who learned how to navigate her way through earthbending. however, she still faces difficulties due to her disability and has to rely on her friends every once in a while.

the trope that these two shows share in relation to their disabled characters is the humor. there are jokes made about Entrapta's and Toph's disability in both shows. however, the key element that differentiates these jokes is the target.

Toph was never the butt of a joke in ATLA. in fact, she was the one making jokes about her disability 90% of the time. Toph was comfortable enough with her blindness that she didn't mind joking about it or even pranking the others sometimes.

in fact, one of the running gags in the series is that the other characters forget that Toph is blind because of how insanely capable she is.

Toph is never the butt of the joke, she's the one making fun of the others for forgetting about her disability. and it's all done in good faith.

and whenever someone is being ableist towards Toph, it's taken seriously. it's not played off as a joke and the narrative doesn't act like people mistreating Toph is this funny gag that everyone should laugh at.

now let's come to Entrapta. there are “jokes” in the show made about her disability as well, except these jokes are often made at her expense.

one of the most problematic parts of the show concerning Entrapta is the way Perfuma leashes her TWICE, because she was worried that Entrapta would get distracted and leave the group. so instead of holding Entrapta's hand or something like a normal person would, Perfuma decides that the best way to tackle this situation is to treat Entrapta like an animal and put her on a leash.

this is shown as a joke and is never addressed seriously. the show writers think that Entrapta being dehumanized and infantilized is supposed to be funny and quirky. Entrapta never gets to confront Perfuma about this or gets any kind of closure.

this was the main example of ableism in the show but there are also other minor scenes where we see characters treat her in a way that other characters aren't treated.

examples being Catra using Entrapta's trauma and loneliness to manipulate her, and Mermista literally yanking on Entrapta's hair and yelling at her, because she couldn't understand social cues.

there are also multiple examples of what i'd like to call the “translate nerd language” trope, where one of the other characters get irritated at Entrapta for using technical terms while speaking, and she has to dumb it down for them.

there's a way to write disabled characters and while Entrapta was a very relatable and sympathetic character, the ableism towards her is never addressed. the princesses are never called out on their actions, while Catra gets off scot-free after a vague apology.

when ableism was portrayed in ATLA, it was always taken seriously. Toph was allowed to leave her toxic parents and find people who accepted her for who she is, she was allowed to prove people wrong and be a powerful character in her own right. meanwhile, Entrapta was forced to be friends with the people who mistreated her and she was only kept around because she was useful.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Boiling hot take, but we're never going to be able to tackle the problem of bullying, especially in schools but also in general, unless we address the fact that some people, especially some kids, are just… not that great to be around.

And that's not always their fault.

Like, as an autistic adult, when I look back on the ways I was treated as a kid, on the one hand I think "fuck that was shitty to live through", but on the other hand, I kinda get it?

I was loud and regularly called out in class or interrupted people when they were talking.

I had a narrow range of interests that I was very interested in, and wasn't great at recognising when the person I was discussing them with wanted to talk about something else.

I couldn't judge my tone of voice and so things I said often came across as insulting when I didn't mean them to.

I was highly opinionated and argumentative.

I would sometimes lash out at people physically (when provoked).

I growled and hissed at people like a cat when I wanted them to go away, because I didn't know how to communicate that in human terms.

I used to hit and bite myself when I felt frustrated, and a couple of times threatened to hurt myself during stressful social interactions.

I had a loose grasp of personal hygiene.

Was any of this a justifiable excuse for bullying me? No. I was a kid, struggling with a brain that was structured very differently to everyone else's. I didn't even know what I was doing wrong a lot of the time. I had a disability.

But was this a justifiable excuse for not wanting to hang out with me? Fuck yeah.

Like, I would have liked it better if I'd been able to have close friends in primary school (without the teachers having to literally set up a structured group of people who were willing to befriend me, complete with weekly meetings where we discussed our social issues with an adult mediator present)? Yeah. That would have been great.

But I was also weird and unpredictable and gross and inconsiderate, and I wouldn't have wanted to hang out with me either. The other kids didn't owe me their friendship. (Even though, again, none of those things were my fault.) But that doesn't mean I deserved mistreatment.

Basically, I think there would be less bullying if we had more preschool books and Very Special Episodes about how to handle interacting with people who are essentially harmless, but who you don't really want to be friends with all the same.

Get rid of the dichotomy in kids media where everyone is either deliberately and purposefully being unpleasant because they can, OR Just Like You with no annoying or unpleasant traits whatsoever.

Sometimes people just are Annoying. It sucks. But part of living in a society is learning to walk away from those people and leave them be, rather than treating their existence as a personal attack.

[weirdestcornelius]

Considering recent events and posts I'd like to point out that this is supposed to be constructive criticism. Not bullying. Not anything else.

I don't try to "criticize" things Kc cannot control, such as the fandom. That whole Party discourse thing? That was me criticizing the fandom. Kittycorn squeakself has never made or alluded to any toxic ships. It was moreso me just being angry at the fandom for shipping a therapist with their clients AND ignoring Party's sexuality considering he's gay/achillean from what I've been informed. It was not an attack towards the ZCP or Kittycorn because they genuinely couldn't control these things if they TRIED. If anything, it's the fandoms fault for it.

I know that this comic is meant to be comforting for kit. The only things I've given constructive criticism for is is the way that disabilities are handled. And there's no way you can tell me I am "bullying" when I say that because I am literally a visually impaired person giving constructive criticism on how a disability that relates to MINE could be better handled in the comic. I love Sparklecare as someone who has experienced ableism from almost everyone around me. I think it's a great way to symbolize ableism and the way the healthcare system is inherently toxic and a breeding ground for trauma and assault.

I only made this a separate blog from my main because I figured people wouldn't want to see constructive criticism on my main. Not to mention that some people in the fandom (not blaming Kc or the ZCP for this) can really be white knights and decide that anything less than positivity for the comic is an attack against Kc. You can tell me this isn't true but I've seen people be called all flavors of slurs and even been told to harm themselves over this. And I'm talking about literal children having to put up with being sent these things. Regardless of the blog or not, I should NOT be scared of saying anything against the comic in fear of getting death threats. The fandom is getting bad behind the scenes and I do not blame Kc for that. Kit did nothing to deserve this. Especially all of those "criticism" blogs that aren't actually criticism, but just bullying the comic and tearing it apart. When I agree that SCH has its problems, all media does and we should simply acknowledge these without saying the entire comic is garbage because. It's not. It has gotten so many people, me included out of dark places and when I criticize it I always try to make it as constructive as possible because I genuinely love this comic and its message. It hits super close to home for me and I love to see the story and characters grow and change. This includes me feeling comfortable enough to give constructive advice on how disabilities similar to mine could be more comfortably portrayed. I have never and never will say that the comic or Kc are bad because honestly? The comic already treats (most) disability or disorders a LOT better than other media does. And that's something I praise it for. I could go on and on about the things I like about this comic and characters, like Creams AFRID being treated in a humanizing and positive way. As someone with food sensitivity, I am so happy to see it be painted in a normal, healthy way and not the characters making fun of it, as a lot of media does.

But loving something means you need to acknowledge its flaws. And Sparklecare has flaws, as all media does. That does NOT mean that you should make Kc feel bad about her own fucking trauma. You are not entitled to know kits trauma. You are not entitled to the characters identities. You can say something Upsets you, but that doesn't mean that it's inherently bad. Some things on this blog are just things that upset me. It's okay to be upset by things. But it doesn't mean that whatever upsets you should immediately be changed unless it is an actual problem and not just something that YOU personally do not like.

This turned out way longer than I thought it would, but I uh. Just wanted to get that out there.

[minu-moni]

What I think is interesting to analyze when looking into a character portrayal is to notice how the author influences in the character’s actions.

Let’s compare Gamzee to Jevil, from Deltarune.

Both characters are essentially “character who came in contact with someone that gave them more knowledge than they could handle and they went insane because of it” but how Hussie and Toby run with this idea is majorly different.

While Hussie writes Gamzee to be an irredeemable monster, an abuser and overall a shitty person, Toby goes the other way with Jevil.

Throughout Deltarune’s chapter one if you’re going to do the hidden boss, you get some information from Seam about Jevil. He speaks about Jevil mostly with caution, but he never villainizes him. And while Jevil is implied to have hurt people, so much so that he had to be locked up, Seam never treats him as a villain. He treats him as an old friend and even speaks fondly of him after you beat his fight. There is no instance where Toby writes Jevil to be inherently evil, abusive or a shitty person overall, and the fandom mostly sees him on a positive light.

Gamzee however, is the opposite. His encounter with Lil Cal turns him into a villain with no redeeming qualities and strips him of any personality and nuance to the point he doesn’t even speak. He is also retconned to always have been an asshole and then Hussie goes out of his way to villainize him and treat his situation as something that turned him into a villain, instead of a character with flaws who was manipulated and used in some way.

And how does the fandom treat Gamzee? They absolutely despise him. There’s a pretty vocal bunch in the Homestuck fandom that thinks Gamzee is just a shitty person who chose to serve Lord English and kill all his friends, and part of this is because of how he’s portrayed in the comic.

Let’s not also forget about how Gamzee is written as neurodivergent and black-coded, while those characteristics are missing in Jevil’s character (at least in any major way). And while maybe not intentional, I absolutely believe that this influenced Hussie’s way of writing Gamzee. There’s too many influences of this to not be so.

People, specifically people of color and disabled people, have said this for a long time now, but this discussion goes unaddressed and recognized by the part of the fandom that hates Gamzee, which downplays these concerns, and Hussie, who doesn’t address them at all and even makes fun of people for thinking of Gamzee with more nuance on the epilogues.

Comparing those two characters and the way they’re written, we can see that it’s clearly an author problem. Hussie writes Gamzee so poorly that people have actually found instances of possible racism and ableism in him, meanwhile there’s way less of an issue with Jevil, who is written as nuanced and the fandom absolutely loves him for it.

Y’all need to stop talking about characters like they actually chose what they did. They’re not real. Someone wrote them to act the way they do. They’re not independent, they’re not conscientious, they don’t choose anything. It’s the author that chooses what they will do, and their biases absolutely influences the writing of such.

[edwardallenpoe]

Happy disability pride month to disabled black people who had to fight tooth and nail to be listened to,

To be believed,

To be treated correctly.

Happy disability pride month to black people who were mistreated because the doctors still believe that black people don't feel as much pain as white people,

or that you're lying so you can get narcotics,

Or that you were "crazy",

who died because of neglect or violence against you for your disability.

Happy disability pride month to mentally disabled black people who were misdiagnosed with ODD,

Who were treated horridly compared to your mentally disabled white counterparts, because you're a "crazy violent black person",

Who is almost never included when people talk about disability activism.

Who died because of violence against you for your disability.

Happy disability pride month to disabled people who fear demanding accessibility and inclusion and accommodations because you'll be "feeding into stereotypes",

Who cannot communicate because no one understands or will listen anyways,

Who cannot leave your house, because of how difficult and/or impossible it is to exist outside, because even though the ugly laws have been removed, they're still working in this society, and the fact people don't mask and places like New York are banning masks, making it life or death for you to go outside,

Who are homeless, and/or have been beaten and killed by police because they can't handle people in crisis, let alone "scary" black people,

Who needs caregivers or service animals, but because doctors think you're "stronger than you seem", you're not able to get any,

Who's caregivers are abusing you, but no one believes you,

Happy disability pride month to black people with invisible disabilities,

who had no idea they were disabled until later on in life,

or where misdiagnosed at an early age and were further disabled because of it,

Or were forced to suck it up and hide it when you told anyone you needed help.

Happy disability pride month to black people with "gross" and "ugly" and "scary" and "violent" disabilities,

To the narcissists who are constantly viewed as violent, and the added weight of being perceived as a violent black person,

To the paraphiles who are in recovery but people treat you like dirt and try to harm you because of course you're one of those,

To the addicts who can't get help for their addiction because of stereotypes and are put in dangerous situations by cops because of relapses or overdoses and the cops not being able to properly handle your situation,

To the suicidal black people who can't call crisis hotlines or the cops, who can't go to the ER because they make your situation worse,

To all the black disabled people in the world: I wish you the happiest disability pride month. We deserve it.

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

4: Reading the Instructions on the Back of My Ramen Noodles Package: "Oh, Lore?"

♪───✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

You and Toriel came to an immediate and silent agreement: do not leave the house alone.

She isn’t trying to keep you imprisoned, nor are you such a pussy that you’re too scared to be alone. You’re actually pretty strong since one, you thought it would be funny. Two, you used to have to carry someone your age a lot when you were seventeen, so you (had to) build some muscles to be able to do it regularly. After that, you thought it’d be good to maintain that strength.

[Your build is actually deceiving to your physical strength, though. / Most people can probably guess you’re strong from your stature.] Either way, you don’t use that strength for malice since you don’t enjoy hurting others, and one day you’ll be officially taking the Hippocratic Oath. You might as well start living by it now to the best of your abilities.

It’s already the next day since you’ve arrived in the Underground, and there have been no signs of Flowey. You’re sure Toriel must be able to at least sense him, but not even she can say if he’s watching from afar or not.

Toriel is taking it upon herself to show you around the Ruins, taking you back to the beginning.

You picked up the toy knife before getting busy. You explained to Toriel that you won't use it, but you just liked to collect things. It's not really a lie, so you didn't feel bad about hiding your true intentions.

Anyway, Toriel watches you do the puzzles on your own, surprised to see how easily you’re able to do them fairly quickly.

“Not to give myself a congratulatory slap on the a–ahh–on the back,” You quickly correct yourself since there are monsters in the room, “But I was in high honors and AP classes at University. I got a big brain in this noggin’ of mine.”

You only corrected your language to keep up the appearance that you’re a kid. It’s not ideal, but you’re not trying to blow your cover.

──

“I would… advise that you continue to wear this out should we leave the house,” Toriel had told you as she gave back your washed, striped dress, “I don’t want to tell you how you should act or talk, but it might be a little safer this way. If somehow, you encounter a fight, monsters may not attack you as hard if they believe you to be a child. You understand, do you not?”

You pouted, taking the dress, “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. Uh, I would like to apologize in advance if I swear on accident, though. I can’t help it.”

“Oh, please. It’s not as if though children don’t have a potty mouth as well.”

──

Yeah, certainly not ideal. But you know she’s right so there’s no use in arguing with it. You and the goat mom leave the rotating rooms that aren’t actually rotating. The next room you enter is the one with the six patches on the floor, with the right switch in one of them. However, since the spikes on the ground have already been disabled, you don’t have to worry about these puzzles.

“Speaking of,” Toriel continues, walking by your side, “What was your life on the surface, my child?”

Oh, boy.

“Uh, it’s not very interesting. I’m in University to become a doctor–more accurately, I wanna get into med school to become a surgeon.”

“A surgeon? You mean those doctors that cut into bodies?”

You laugh, “Well, that’s one way of putting it for sure. More accurately, we treat injuries, diseases, and irregularities by physical removal, repair, or readjustment of organs and tissues, and that often means cutting into the body.”

“Oh, I understand more now. Is that not extremely dangerous?”

“It’s risky, for sure. I mean, unlike monsters, our bodies can handle that kind of stress of being cut open and healing after a while. But we’re still cutting into people, no matter what, there’s always some kind of percentage that something might go unplanned.”

You say “we” and “us”, but you’ve never cut anyone open. You legally can’t anyway until you get into the proper practices and have a superior watching you. You don’t know the first thing about cutting into someone either. You understand how to on paper, but that’s vastly different than actually doing it. If you so much as tried with your current knowledge, you might seriously hurt someone.

You shrug your shoulders with a smile, “It’s scary, you know, but it gives us a fighting chance rather than just not doing anything at all.”

“That’s quite admirable, [Y/n]. You should be proud of yourself!” Toriel beams, “What else was your life like?”

You wave at the three Froggits in the room you two pass through, pleased that they’re waving back. It might be from fear since they’re intimidated by Toriel, but you’d like to think it’s because they like the cut of your jib.

“I think in comparison to most people, it was pretty… wacky. My family is okay, I’m not close to my mom, but my dad is one of my best friends. I have two younger siblings, too.”

“What are your siblings names?”

“Noah is seventeen, and he tries to be a protective brother over me. But uh, he’s kind of a weenie. He means well, his heart is just really gentle. As for Alejandro, he’s fifteen. He’s really quiet and shy, but he’s got a stronger resolve than Noah. They make a pretty good team whenever I bring a date over when I used to live with them,” You roll your eyes, though you have a contradicting smile on your face, “I love them to bits.”

You don’t bring up the fact that you’re all adopted children, since that information is unnecessary. Not only that but your mom and dad would always scream “LA-LA-LA-LA-LA” whenever you or your siblings call each other adopted. You think it’s sweet they always reprime you and your brothers about it.

“You must miss them…” Toriel hums softly, a sad smile on her face.

You pass the Spider Bake Sale sign and start to go down the hall where Napstablook should be pretending to sleep.

“I do, but I miss them every day. I haven’t seen them in almost half a year because of school. I call them regularly, but we kind of have this understanding that I need to live my own life”

“Ah, I understand,” The boss monster nods, “Did you have any signi-”

“-Hey, wait a second.”

You put your arm in front of Toriel, stopping her from walking forward. She gives you a questioning look, looking over to the direction you’re pointing. It’s a ghost lying down on a pile of red leaves, effectively “blocking” the way. You could probably just walk through it and continue your day, but…

“Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z…”

“Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z…”

“Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z…”

The ghost, Napstablook, is pretending to sleep so well. He’s almost convinced you that he was napping if it weren’t for the fact that he is repeating the letter “Z” out loud repeatedly. Toriel doesn’t look impressed in the slightest, but you were greatly amused.

“This ghost is sleeping so peacefully,” You tell her in a hushed voice, “Let’s try walking around him.”

“…” She gives you the funniest side eye, “He’s clearly pretending to be asleep, [Y/n].”

“You don’t know that.”

“He’s saying “Z” out loud repeatedly.”

“It could be a ghost thing.”

You’re trying hard not to laugh at her expression. It’s like she knows you’re joking, but there’s that slight hesitation just in case you genuinely believe Napstablook is taking a siesta. Fortunately for you both, you don’t have to worry so much because Napstablook conveniently wakes up from his nap.

“i usually come to the ruins because there’s nobody around…” Napstablook opens his eyes, looking at you with a sheepishly little smile, “i’ll never forget that you had so much encouragement in my fake sleep…”

“Oh, I’m glad, then!” You smile patiently, offering him a thumbs up.

The shy ghost’s eyes flicker to Toriel, tensing up at her motherly glare.

“oh, i’m rambling again. i’ll get out of your way…”

“Wait, you–”

Napstablook doesn’t wait for you to finish. His body becomes more transparent than before until he’s gone. Oh… Well, that was disappointing. You sigh and gesture for Toriel to pass through first since the walkway is a little too narrow.

“It doesn’t seem like all the monsters are so bad,” You say offhand, “Maybe the ghost and I can be friends one day.”

“Mm… Perhaps, but…”

“I get it, I do. I’m still nervous around anyone who isn’t you right now. But you know, if we let our fear control our lives, we might miss out on a lot of great opportunities.”

Toriel laughs gently, “You are quite insightful, my child.”

“I might only be twenty-three, but I have my fair share of life experience,” You shrug, “Anyway, what were we talking about before we got interrupted?”

“Oh, yes. Did you have any significant others? Or do you currently have one?”

“HA!! As if anyone could handle my punk-ass. I’ve had a few partners before, but none that lasted for too long. I did have a first love, though.”

“Oh, dear. Did it not work out well?”

You reach the room with the mouse and the cheese. You smile softly as you two pass by the table. You hope the mouse can get the cheese one day.

“No, nothing like that. He had a skin condition that made him sensitive to the sunlight, and it made his immune system extremely fragile. He also had a brain tumor that was developing way too quickly to top it all off. We couldn’t afford his surgery no matter what we did, and he eventually passed away when we were seventeen.”

“Oh… [Y/n],” Toriel looks heartbroken on your behalf, “I am so sorry for your loss.”

Briefly, she wonders if that’s why you want to become a doctor. If he had inspired you to pursue this career for yourself… What was your original dream before that?

You shake your head, “No, it’s not–He’s not a painful memory, and I never feel bad talking about him. But… He is my first love, you know? There is some grief and that’s a type of love you never truly forget or get over, but it’s more like I’m missing an old friend. I’ve grown to be more grateful about him than bitter.”

“If you don’t mind, what was his name?”

You smile brightly, happy to be able to share him with another, “His name was Kōrenki.”

────

On the way, you DID remember to pick up the Faded Ribbon and pocket it. Toriel was worried when you purposely fell in each hole (to look for it), but you couldn't leave it behind in good conscience.

You love talking with Toriel, and you get the feeling she loves talking to you, too! You’ve mostly been talking about yourself since she is so insistent on knowing about you. You tried returning the gesture multiple times, but as soon as she answered, she would follow up with another question about yourself.

You kept out a lot of gruesome things, though. Like how you’ve been stabbed, like, eight times in the past. How you were a law-breaking kid before a Kōrenki had put you on a better path. You did NOT mention that you thought you could totally be a singer but gave up immediately because singing in front of people is too embarrassing.

Every time you tell people that, they tend to pressure you into singing so they can judge for themselves. Just as if you tell someone if you’re ticklish, they’ll try tickling you. Even if you say you aren’t ticklish, they’ll think you’re lying and tickle you anyway-

Short story long, you learned not to bring that up about yourself.

“Wow, we’ve been walking down this hallway forever,” You chuckle as you barely reach the end of it.

“This is the Hallway of Independence.”

“How ominous.”

“Fortunately, since you are older and I am also with you, there is no need to test your independence.” Toriel furrows her brows as you two near the end of the hall, “Now… as for this part…”

Ah, the spiked floor. Unlike in Undertale, you didn’t have to wait for the rooms to load to see what’s up ahead. Reaching the end of the hall, you’ve encountered the wooden platform that leads into the metal, spiked floor. You wish you could remember the pattern of the other room to do it alone, but the memory escapes you.

“This puzzle is… Hm,” Toriel holds her hand to you, “Here, take my hand for a moment. Stay behind me, won’t you?”

You take her soft hand, giving it a light squeeze, “Got it, teach.”

Toriel takes you closer to the platform, and with little to no hesitation, she takes a step forward onto the spikes on the outermost right side. Before the bottom of her foot comes in contact with the metal, it retracts into the floor immediately. You pay attention to where she’s stepping as you follow behind her; it feels really familiar to you, and you can predict where she might step next.

Huh.

Guess you subconsciously remembered more than you originally thought.

You and the monster sigh simultaneously once you’ve reached the other side, safely off the hazardous puzzle.

“Some puzzles might seem too dangerous for now,” Toriel frowns.

You release her hand and walk up to the sign that hung on the wall. The text is a little faded, but you can still read it without much trouble.

“The western room is the eastern room’s blueprints.” You hurry to the east room, grinning and weakly pointing at the carpet, “Ahh, that’s clever. How long did it take for you to memorize that?”

The Goat Mother of the Year™ simply huffs a small laugh, “Not too long. I happen to have a very good memory, especially for things that I know are very important.”

“Now, isn’t that convenient? If I had a great memory like that I wouldn’t have needed to study so much for my mid-terms.”

Now you two enter one of the mine rooms, the one with the Dummy. The Dummy looks like he’s seen better days, but is still they’re still up and kicking it. Good for them. Good for them. (Damn, these bitches gay. Good for them. Good for them.)

Toriel stops at the doorway, though. She must want you to practice FIGHTing and ACTing on the Dummy.

Here’s the thing though: You don’t fucking know how. Unlike the game, the FIGHT, ACT, ITEM, and MERCY buttons weren’t in front of you so conveniently. Sure, you can compliment a son of a bitch, but do you just… do you just say: “Alright, you’re Spared. Now give me three gold.”?? You’re not sure if that’s allowed.

Did calling Flowey a Beta Cuck count as an Action? Did telling him he was stupid count, too?

“As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you. As we are both aware of when it came to that strange flower monster.” Ruh roh, Toriel is giving her speech. Perhaps she did expect you to practice on the Dummy. “You need to be more prepared for this. However, the process is simple.”

You step up to the Dummy, “Really now?”

“While you are in a fight, strike up a friendly conversation! Stall for time, and I will come to resolve the conflict.”

You grimace, “And… what if you’re not where you can hear me? Or if I’m too far away?”

The other woman didn’t seem to like this possibility. Her face scrunches up as she looks away, “Well… I suppose… We should be careful should you ever want to step out of the house.”

“I’m not in a hurry to leave the Ruins, I actually like it here. But… You can’t come with me everywhere, Toriel.” You tell her, aware this might not be something she wants to hear. “This is where making friends with the other monsters would be good for me. Maybe they’d be less likely to fight me, or even want to help keep me safe.”

You continue with a smile, “Like that ghost fella we ran into. He didn’t seem like he was feeling up for a fight. Who knows? We might get along if we got to know each other.”

She looks away for a moment, “I… I suppose we will have to consider it. Especially since you don’t plan to leave the Ruins…”

“Oh… Does me… Should I leave the Ruins eventu-”

“-NO!” Toriel blushes (magically, you assume) and looks away to the far wall, “Ahem. No. I am–very grateful that you desire to stay, my child. More than you know.”

Oh, you know very well. And maybe it’s that reason that helps you accept that you can never leave this place.

“Still,” The goat mom, now in higher spirits at you confirming that you want to stay with her for a long time, walks to stand by with you, “I would like it if you would practice against the Dummy. Perhaps I can even teach you a few self-defense techniques. Ah–Not to seriously harm anyone, but perhaps something that can keep you safe enough.”

“Yeah, I’d love that, Toriel.”

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Oh You NEVER Introduce Yourself to Fae...

Miss Euphemia Reeves begins her fairy tale by making a cardinal mistake: she offers her full name to Juniper Jubilee, the Lord Blackthorn. And then Lord Blackthorn promptly appoints himself Effie's fairy godfather and is so damn enthusiastic and desperate to help that he becomes the single biggest obstacle to Effie fulfilling her fairy bargain. Let's talk Ten Thousand Stitches.

There are two major things I love about this book. First, I love that it does not frame anger as an inherently negative thing that needs to be gotten rid of or overcome; in point of fact, anger is what saves the day in this fairy tale. That actually gives Effie a real Sam Vimes vibe, truth be told, but we'll come back to that. Second, I actually loved how much of the book I spent yelling "HE LOVES YOU, OPEN YOUR EYES AND SEE IT" at Effie. Our girl is here for class solidarity and equitable treatment of servants, but wow can she not see true love when it's standing in front of her with puppy dog eyes.

Effie's two main plotlines are full on coming for the family she works for because they are abusing and exploiting their servants, and trying to get Benedict to fall in love with her. One of these goes significantly better than the other, because Effie turns out to be a magician whose magic works through embroidery. And this is where I want to really dig into how anger is handled in this novel.

As someone who was femme socialized in the 90s and early 00s, I definitely got the "anger and noise are not feminine, don't do that" and "anger is an inherently bad emotion." (To clarify: I did not get this from my parents, they were great. I got this from the REST of society.) Now as a grown-ass adult woman with some serious social justice and disability justice axes to grind, I have exactly zero time for moralizing about emotions. They exist, its on us to deal. And Effie's anger is characterized in terms like "bright" and "sharp" and "shining," which is a really lovely change from the deep black cesspool characterization that we usually see.

Atwater understands that anger can be motivating, can be the part of you that KNOWS you have more value than you are being treated with, and that cares deeply for you and the people around you. And Effie can imbue her embroidery with anger that motivates people to keep going, to change things for the better. This is anger that inspires. It's a complex, nuanced, adult living in a capitalist hellscape exploration of anger and its place. And y'all...I am here for it. I love how this is handled in the book.

If I'm being honest, the romance was my least favorite part of this book, because Effie inspiring the servants to basically informally unionize and fight for better lives for all of them is just so, so good, and feels so topical and relevant. And also, Effie just GETS this process, especially once its pointed out to her that she can work her anger magic intentionally. She is nowhere near this good at matters of the heart.

Overall, this was a very fun read, and honestly as a regency fairy tale, I think it hits strong.

[scummy-writes]

I'm sharing some thoughts that may be skewed by misremembering some things.

It's been a while since I played Elbert's route, so anticipate some details I may mess up, but it's sad to me that his route was ... I don't know, a bit bland?

For Ikevil, I have only played 3 out of the 4 available routes, and while William's felt like an outlier, the darkest thing is the trauma. The love explored is pretty...Normal.. Which isn't bad, honestly, I think I just inadvertently keep having my expectations a bit high for a game labeled 'villains' when a majority of these guys are just traumatized and 'villains' because of things out of their control (curses, job situation) and needing more of a support network. (does this make sense? no, i dont think it does, i think I sound insane) It's highly possible Harrison's plays out more like I would want and i just haven't read it yet.

Elbert's trauma was handled decently, I think. There were many times during his route that I was emotional, I was sad! I felt bad for him! The reveal of his childhood was not unexpected due to how others treated him as an adult and some other issues he showed in previous events and similar, but the reveal of how his curse affected his parents was a surprise. And it was dark ! The love was a bit abnormal.... but everything still managed to be a bit bland at the end. We get a random plot with his butler or whatever just shoved in, similar to how Hooke was in Isaac's. And while I think this trauma was very important to explore due to how much that type of trauma would effect someone in many, many, many, many ways, somehow the story just felt ....bland....outside of the trauma. I think the butler would be violent, would be upset, and would be underhanded because elbert is being 'taken away', but it felt a bit cartoonishly handled in that aspect. While I have no doubt he would do that, the writing for those things happening just felt poorly and a bit shoved in.

Maybe that is why I disliked it, things were fine, we needed an explanation for a lot of things, but then we get writing thats like "oh uh we can't focus on these two plots so much, throw in the butler/servants going batshit really hastily" even though it was seemingly never an issue the whole time elbert was at crown? they didn't get their elbert fix that often after crown stuff but after Kate comes in *then* they try and kill the new person immediately? Maybe Elbert came home more often? It's just. I don't know, I can see all these things happening with the servants and butler, but it's also just tipping into a bit too ridiculous to me with how they build it up and then it's handled so briefly at the end. I don't even remember if Elbert reacted much after killing him, which is something that should have been explored if they were going to introduce him. am I just misremembering that? That would be such a major confliction for elbert, like Hooke was for Isaac for a bit (but with elbert it would be 10x more amplified), because...dude there was his abuser! one of them! now they're dead and he's just going to walk it off? No!!! Ugh. I think I inadvertently figured out why i ended up being disappointed by his route through typing this. I thought it was due to being an early route but...

I'm disabling reblogs because while I don't mind a discussion on this, I haven't talked about ikevil much and i am vaguely worried my misremembering will be commented on harshly rather than calmly (paranoia of some other people I've seen/ran into in other fandoms). Feel free to comment.

[cryptidmomochi]

did you know?

the insistence by commentary creators on treating children the same way as adults has caused ridiculous amounts of harm.

over and over i would see drama about various artists, and so many of them were just kids. some of them were younger than me, but i didnt know that. i thought they were all much older than me, because that's how they were treated.

"oh this person was a groomer" they were a child. if a child is exhibiting groomer-like tendencies, they don't just get that out of nowhere.

"oh this person pretended to have mental illness or s/h for attention" that is not a thing that normal people do. you look stupid when you say that. just because someone is doing something "for attention" doesn't mean nothing's actually wrong.

"this kid was racist" im from an extremely white, quite cishet, and very able-bodied town (or, at the very least, the town is inaccessible enough that you just don't see that many disabled people, who knows). sometimes you learn bigoted rhetoric, then have to unlearn it. sometimes you say stupid shit because other people around you say that exact stupid shit. kids in particular do not always know better. just because theyre 16 doesn't mean they're exempt from being stupid.

like.

can we stop hatemobbing fucking children. i have at least lingered online for almost 10 years. kids are one of the most likely groups to get harassed, often by adults. im glad i never developed a sizeable following before i turned 18. i wouldnt have been able to handle it either.

but im just shouting to the void, really. commentary creators dont fucking learn. they just hop onto the next bandwagon and ignore it.

do you ever wonder why so many commentary types keep getting into trouble? hopeless peaches, creepshow, daftpina, turkey tom, omnia, prison mate luke, im sure i could think of more given the time and given a little bit more research to track down some old creators i used to watch. good people don't go online and talk about kids like they should be killed. the art commentary community as a whole is rife with toxicity, seemingly always searching for small prey nobody's heard of. I remember a very long time ago there was a "drama" because an artist on deviantart didn't want their art being favourited (they misunderstood what it did) and that was a big enough deal to start making videos about. playlists upon playlists preying on kids being stupid.

if not kids, then any other vulnerable group will do just fine, too. if you remember the "tumblr art style", youll know it had a few main "characteristics"; ambiguous race, hairy legs, character depictions that weren't conventionally attractive, bandaids, s/h scars, drawing the characters with different body types, depictions of mental illnesses and disorders, the works. the "tumblr art style" was, in reality, a dogwhistle. it wasn't about the art. it was about the fact that it wasnt a white, cishet, able-bodied, neurotypical man or woman. that was a topic for a few years. "the problem with the tumblr art style", "tumblr art style cringe", i only knew of tumblr from those types of videos when i was in middle school.

commentary rarely if ever cares about justice. its just another dime in their wallet, and if they have to harass kids to get it, well, that's just fine.

[masonjarart]

MASSIVE OFMD ENDING SPOILERS

Hey so that ending huh I have some thoughts I have share (keep in mind I like just finished it so I'm deep in emotions about it still.) first off aside from the main thing not really happy with how stede and blackbeards arch ended it felt so rushed and ik that's more HBO being shitty and not giving them enough episodes. Still, they never actually talk about like anything? ig the main problem with these last couple eps is they want to do a lot. Still, they don't have time for it so the characters just kinda decide things. We never get to see them talk about why or anything this could just be a me problem because my favorite parts of shows are just characters sitting down and talking things out with each other but idk I think they could have handled the time constraints better.

Now the main thing wtf do you mean they killed off izzy the character in the middle of an arch about learning about found family and what it means to be loved by them. who had just become disabled and was learning how to navigate his life as a pirate with that. do you know how many bad ass disabled people we get to see doing cool shit on tv not very fucking many as a disabled person I was really excited about izzys character arch it meant a lot seeing how the crew cared for him while he was processing everything and when he does he's back to being badass the narrative doesn't treat him any differently I really liked where they where going with him and now what he just dies? idk in my personal opinion, I think that sucks and I actually really like tragedies I don't usually get angry or upset with writing when characters die in one of my favorite shows the 2 main characters die at the end and I like that choice cause it feels like a complete end to their story izzys end feels incomplete I wish he would have gotten a better one.

[acourtofthought]

Hello!

I need to vent how horrible the acotar fandom is.

This ship war has become hell. I can't stand to see how much they chase the girls (Elain and Gwyn) and exempt Azriel's contradictory actions.

Male chauvinist is very dominant as always, especially among such young girls.

Another one who suffers a lot from this is Lucien. The disrespect in theories is absurd, I doubt that Elain would like to be talked about the way they say about Lucien. Remembering that she defended Lucien from the love of her life Greyson in Acowar.

Absurd theories that Lucien is someone like Tamlin's father, Rhys' father or like Beron himself.

They say that acotar5 will be forbidden romance. Where they'll do it all behind Lucien's back like he deserves to be tricked or manipulated.

They place him as an aggressor and harasser, and he is a sexually and psychologically abused character.

They say the bond of mates is fake like Rowan, but they forget that the bond never existed. Rowan didn't feel that thread, and yet he loved Lirya and their child.

Aelin has great respect for Rowan's history, just as he does for her past and romances, unlike Azriel who sees Lucien as a nuisance and shows gratuitous disrespect.

Elriel stan are sometimes racist and make fun of the violence he suffered and even make fun of his disability.

I as Lucien Stan get sick of these things. How do you handle this fandom? Do you have any tips on how not to fall into the desperate Elriel's traps?

How do you think Elain would react to hearing the dismissive way Azriel says of Lucien? How do you think she would handle it if she heard about the Blood Duel idea?

Vent Away!! I understand your frustration because people have blown way past reason and logic and have entered into Mean Girl territory all in the name of fictional characters.

And pitting Elain and Gwyn against one another while treating Az like a poor baby who just needs to be "wuved" is disturbing.

This man TORTURES people. He starts fights in important political meetings because he can't control himself. He disobeys orders from his High Lord and High Lady.

Yes, what happened to Azriel is terrible and it's completely understandable why he's got issues. But constantly making excuses for him and giving him repeated forgiveness for his actions / behaviors while acting like two females under the age of 30 who very recently experienced major traumas and have not yet discovered who they're meant to be are the problem is crazy.

Elain and Gwyn are extremely parallel characters right now.

Both had older sisters who protected them. We know it's a fact for Elain and Gwyn tells us:

"Catrin was always the strong one" "After our mother died, she took care of me. Looked out for me."

Catrin was Gwyn's Nesta.

Both have shown moments of extreme bravery (Elain while saving Briar and when she stabbed the King and Gwyn during the attack on Sangravah and the Rite).

But despite that, they are both still hesitant to fully embrace their futures. Elain by sort of hiding in the NC telling herself everything is fine and Gwyn (despite her proclamation that she was tired of living in the library and didn't want to take the safe road anymore) returned to living in the library and wasn't sure she would attend Nesta's ceremony after the Rite.

Again, lots of similarities between them.

One of the only reasons E/riels have a problem with Gwyn is because Az is being set up as her possible LI. No, she doesn't need to be your favorite character but it's a near impossibility to hate a character whose major role in SF was to be Nesta's support system. To have created so many slanderous things to say about her. How can you have so much hate for a character who has not been written to be antagonistic in any way right now?

And the Elain hate is also extreme. I've seen some Gwynriels (this is a very select few as most Gwynriels I talk to are awesome) say that Elain should be killed off or SA because she's worthless. This is a girl who had a special cake made for her sister because she wanted her to know how much she's always appreciated her. Elain stood up to Nesta to allow Feyre to use their home as a meeting spot for the Human Queens regardless of what that might mean for her own engagement. This is a girl who has always shown the members of Feyre's new family with respect. She doesn't have to be anyones favorite but Geeez. Saying she'd be better dead or assaulted is way out there. Of course people have things they dislike about her, that tends to happen when a character is more fleshed out. SJM has given her good and bad (especially when we are witnessing sister squabbles on page) but acting like she's a more terrible person than Az is 🤔

And Lucien, my god. His entire journey so far has been filled with impossible decisions. Constantly being put in the middle of his friend and High Lord (a High Lord who gave him a job and home) and Feyre, a friend he had just met. Always between a rock and a hard place on what she needed versus what Tamlin and the Spring Court needed. Being accused of not doing enough when, whenever he tried to do anything he was threatened and eventually abused by Tamlin. Having to reign in any emotions he may have had for Rhys and the IC, people he was led to believe were the bad guys for centuries and who really didn't show Lucien much respect in the beginning, because they were allowed to dictate when and how he was allowed to see his own Mate. He's never threatened ANYONE or brought harm to anyone Elain cared for. He freely works with Az even though Az treats him like garbage He's always tried to find balance between respecting Elain's need for space while also letting her know he'd still like to interact with her. All while he can't return to his home as his father keeps trying to kill him and Feyre ruined his name in Spring.

What tough decisions has Az made as of late? What impossible situations has he really been placed in? Az is a bit of an asshole right now for no real reason at all besides his desperate need for love while Lucien has legitimate problems and is faced with difficult decisions. Az starts fights, has anger issues, refuses to communicate, and doesn't listen to authority. Yet Az gets more respect because.......? Because he said something poetic about Illyrians and the wind and acts like a perfect gentleman around Elain?

I do think SJM will restore Azriel's character but anyone holding him in higher regard at the moment than Lucien, Elain or Gwyn is a very interesting person indeed.

To answer your last question, Elain would dislike everything about the Az that exists when she's not around. From how he talks about Lucien to his casual disregard for he and Graysen's lives. To the real thoughts he has about her, that she's the "third sister" and that's why he wonders why he didn't get a bond, that his thoughts for her really only amount to sexual fantasies. That he doesn't think she can handle something dangerous.

It's ironic because the front Az puts up around Elain is how Lucien actually is yet she's so stubborn against getting to know him that she hasn't realized it yet.

I think the reason I don't fall into the E/riel traps and bullying is because, after looking through the series over and over and OVER again, I finally feel like it's all clicked. I came up with a lot of different thoughts, even trying to prove an E/riel endgame possibility at one point but some of those things didn't feel right. I'd have an idea and start running with it but after asking other questions, the idea fell apart under my own scrutiny.

A year ago, I would have probably been uncertain on my stances and wondered if I missed something but now I do feel very confident that I'm just as versed as any of them might be (at least on the Elucien / Elriel / Gwynriel debate) and that makes it easy to ignore or argue back. That's not to say SJM can't turn around and completely change the direction of her story but as far as things stand right now, I do feel that I've grasped the hidden messages she's left us about those ships. And that in order for E/riel to ever be a possibility, she would have to go in a completely different direction and decide what's she's written so far didn't matter because what there is does not point to E/riel.

So for others out there that struggle dealing with them I think really looking back through the series and trying to disprove their arguments can help because it builds the confidence that you understand the material as well as the next person. Or, you can find blogs that resonate with you, that their logic also makes sense to yours, and use that to build up your knowledge.

But even if it's a blog you usually agree with, it's ok to question their take on it too. If I or anyone else says anything that makes you go "wait a minute", then going back to the books can again help. See if you can disprove (or even find additional supporting proof) of what they're saying.

In the end, regardless of how much effort you want to put in when it comes the series, remember that anyone who resorts to threats is not anyone you should be paying attention to anyway. They are obviously not someone you should respect and allow to dictate how you feel about yourself or your enjoyment of something.

I am sorry for the stressful nature of the fandom though. It does suck the life out of me from time to time and it makes me desperate for answers from SJM.

[ollvr]

I think we should be more critical of Devin Grayson’s writing of Grant as a CSA survivor. She basically just throws Grant away once his sexual abuse is used to further Roy’s character development. I think people hung up on the potential of a relationship between Roy and Grant but are kind of blinded by their stanning of Roy as a character from other books written by better authors and it somehow negates the way he’s actually written and treats Grant in Titans by the fandom. Roy in Titans isn’t in my opinion a good father figure to Grant, partially that is Devin Grayson’s fault but to me the way he handled Grant opening up about his sexual abuse and then leaving him at the reserve, not checking up on him at all though the rest of the run is pretty gross. It reads to me that he couldn’t handle Grant having that kind of trauma. He didn’t want to deal with it and only dealt with Grant in that situation because he had to. There was no reason to leave Grant with people he didn’t know when he was vulnerable. This is lowkey a little bit of child neglect and abandonment? Yes Grant wanted to leave the Titans and do some self recovery because he didn’t feel like the Titans wasn’t a good fit for him but Roy couldn’t have left Grant with people he actually knew? He couldn’t have given him to Al Rothstein and his mother Terri? Martian Manhunter? Alan Scott who in canon can calm Grant down when he’s about to explode? Literally anyone who has ever cared about grant? Again I don’t read Roy, I’m not a Roy stan so maybe this is in character for him and it’s wholly Devin’s fault but this is unfortunately part of Grant’s canon. I know a lot of this is authors not giving a shit about Grant but I think if we are going to be critical of Grant’s writing after he was disfigured and constantly talk shit about his disfigurement then you should be critical of how he was just given CSA trauma, where it had never been implied before in Damage. Again maybe this is also just abelism in the fandom too where Grant isn’t valued or liked post disfigurement. Grant is given CSA trauma in the same way he’s given his disfigurement, just on a whim but everyone is more ready to accept that he has CSA trauma and respect that as part of his character than his disfigurement just because people don’t like Geoff Johns. Devin Grayson is also a terrible writer who if you just look up what she did and wrote previously with sexual abuse I don’t think we should be latching on to and praising her treatment of Grant in Titans at all.

It’s fine to have your headcanons and your fanfics of Grant having a nice happy time with Roy and Lian that’s what fandom is for  but I think everyone has just settled on being critical of Grant post disfigurement because Grant isn’t a cute little kid anymore and they can’t latch on to or emphasize with a young man who’s been through so much trauma and has a disfigurement on top of that. Like I’ve said previously you can have all of your cute family headcaons with grant while he’s disfigured and I don’t know why his fandom in particular are so adamant of erasing and ignoring his disability. You don’t see this with other disabled characters so why do I keep seeing it with Grant? No one does this to Barbara Gordon, people are happy to accept her disability. It’s not like her writing is also the best either but no one can seem to really accept Grant post Titans 1999.