#the book of fair thought

[lasororiteinfernale]

the . book . of . fair . thought . {tboft}

[inkskinned]

sometimes we just need someone to pay enough attention.

for the longest time i had been trying to read The Lord of The Rings. everyone had sung the praises for it, over and over. i'd seen clips of the movie and it seemed like it could be fun, but actually reading it was fucking horrible.

my parents had the omnibus - all the books squished into one big tome - and in the 4th grade i started sort of an annual tradition: i would start trying to read TLR and get frustrated after about a month and put it back down. at first i figured i was just too young for it, and that it would eventually make sense.

but every time i came back to it, i would find myself having the exact same experience: it was confusing, weird, and dry as a fucking bone. i couldn't figure it out. how had everyone else on earth read this book and enjoyed it? how had they made movies out of this thing? it was, like, barely coherent. i would see it on "classics" list and on every fantasy/sci-fi list and everyone said i should read it; but i figured that it was like my opinion of great expectations - just because it's a classic doesn't mean i'm going to like experiencing it.

at 20, i began the process of forcing myself through it. if i had to treat the experience like a self-inflicted textbook, i would - but i was going to read it.

my mom came across me taking notes at our kitchen table. i was on the last few pages of the first book in the omnibus, and i was dreading moving on to the next. she smiled down at me. only you would take notes on creative writing. then she sat down and her brow wrinkled. wait. why are you taking notes on this?

i said the thing i always said - it's boring, and i forget what's happening in it because it's so weird, and dense. and strange.

she nodded a little, and started to stand up. and then sat back down and said - wait, will you show me the book?

i was happy to hand it over, annoyed with the fact i'd barely made a dent in the monster of a thing. she pulled it to herself, pushing her glasses up so she could read the tiny writing. for a moment, she was silent, and then she let out a cackle. she wouldn't stop laughing. oh my god. i cannot wait to tell your father.

i was immediately defensive. okay, maybe i'm stupid but i've been trying to read this since the 4th grade and -

she shook her head. raquel, this is the Silmarillion. you've been reading the Silmarillion, not the lord of the rings.

anyway, it turns out that the hobbit and lord of the rings series are all super good and i understand why they're recommended reading. but good lord (of the rings), i wish somebody had just asked - wait. this kind of thing is right up your alley. you love fantasy. it sounds like something might be wrong. why do you think it's so boring?

[darkdragon768]

Various doodles of the Dorito Twins.

I just like to play with them like dolls and put them into situations.

[artbyblastweave]

Actually I think the only thing more fucked up than Oni Lee's canon situation (Lung kept him in the gang as a blunt instrument rather than drive him away or kill him because he realized that his power-induced brain damage meant he would never be a serious threat to his leadership) would be if the Protectorate picked him up and absolutely nothing about his situation changed, they still run him ragged as a blunt instrument and pretend not to notice the psychological damage his power is causing him, because his incipient ego death and extreme suggestibility means that he creates the fewest PR problems of any cape in the department. And he's marketing gold. Everyone loves Snake Eyes. Everyone loves the strong silent type

[ink-the-artist]

looked up if i could get custom lenticular bookmarks made and ohhh what if i just started selling a bunch of my art in the form of scholastic book fair items

[withthewindinherfootsteps]

Wei Wuxian and Narrative Agency – Part Three

For Xiantober Day Five: Past and Present, in which the author gets very unhinged about what parts of the past are shown and how that’s affected by the present!

(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)

The Power of Agency: Shaping the Narrative

When I've discussed Wei Wuxian's agency previously, I’ve talked about how what’s shown and omitted tells us about a character, and we’ve talked about the character himself. Though this is a niche topic, it’s not necessarily something out of the ordinary to analyse, and we can assume everything up to here has been in some way intentional.

This? Linking structure to a character’s in-universe preferences?

This is where we get unhinged.

Before I start, let’s quickly establish something which will be important later: although Wei Wuxian is the central character, MDZS isn’t strictly from his POV. While omitting events a character doesn’t like to dwell on and concealing things the character wishes to hide is common in books with only one narrator, MDZS has multiple narrators which it switches between relatively quickly. This includes Wei Wuxian, but it also includes nearly every major character that appears in the story, and omniscient narrator as well. As a default, this format doesn’t lead to this deliberate shaping and omission because of one character’s preferences, since we have many other sources of information and events – which is what makes Wei Wuxian’s influence over the narrative and structure so interesting. We could have access to a lot more information, and access to it at different times, than we do (and that’s not an insult, quite the opposite!).

To begin: we’ve established that times such as Wei Wuxian’s time on the streets, his three months in the Burial Mounds and his loss in the Siege aren’t shown because Wei Wuxian has little agency there. But that’s not the only special thing about them. They’re also the three most traumatic times in his life, and so moments Wei Wuxian himself either can’t remember, or doesn’t like to dwell on.

This is why discussing Wei Wuxian’s treatment of tragedy in his life was important. Firstly, it shows he doesn’t focus on the tragedy in his life, so the idea that the narrative not focusing on this tragedy relates to his character has merit; secondly, it affirms that this is not a passive trait, but a choice. Therefore, when the narrative omits events due to this aspect of Wei Wuxian, it’s respecting not only a character detail – which would be cool by itself – but also an active decision. One that shapes the story it’s made in.

In other words, its very structure is respecting Wei Wuxian’s agency!

Now, of course there are flashbacks to other moments of his past he probably wouldn’t like to dwell on, too. But within the structure, they’re only shown when Wei Wuxian is thinking about them (or when he has reason to)!

Wei WuXian hadn’t woken up yet. His eyes were still tightly shut, yet his hand didn’t let go either. He seemed to be dreaming, muttering, “… Don’t… Don’t be angry…” Lan WangJi seemed somewhat surprised. His voice was gentle, “I am not angry.” Wei WuXian, “… Oh.” Hearing this, as though he finally felt assured, his fingers loosened. Lan WangJi sat beside Wei WuXian for a while. Seeing that he was motionless again, he was about to stand up when Wei WuXian grabbed him with his other hand, hugging his arm and refusing to let go. He shouted, “I’ll go with you, quick, take me back to your sect!” Chapter 63, EXR translation

Which, of course, is him dwelling on…

Lan WangJi spoke one word at a time, “Go back to Gusu with me.” Hearing this, both Wei WuXian and Jiang Cheng were surprised. Quickly afterward, Wei WuXian laughed, “Go back to Gusu with you? To the Cloud Recesses? Why go there?” He immediately seemed to realize, “Oh. I forgot. Your uncle Lan QiRen hates crooked people like me. You’re his proudest disciple, so of course you’re the same as him, haha. I refuse.” Chapter 62, EXR translation

…the painful flashback immediately preceding this. The third set of flashbacks (which are also painful) are a similar case. Look at the contex:

He lifted the bottom of his robe, revealing a prosthetic leg made of wood, “This leg of mine was destroyed by you, that night in the Nightless City (…)” (…) “Wei WuXian, I won’t ask you if you remember or not. Both of my parents died by your hands. You owe too many people. You definitely won’t remember them either. But, I, Fang MengChen, will never forget! And never forgive you!” (…) “In the fight at Qiongqi Path, my son was strangled to death by your dog Wen Ning!” “My shixiong died by poison, his entire body festering due to your cruel curse!” Chapter 68 (immediately preceding the flashbacks), EXR translation

And Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts and words:

Wei WuXian looked at the cultivators before the Demon-Slaughtering Cave. Their expressions were the absolute same as those of the cultivators from the night of the pledge conference, pouring their wine on the ground as they took the pledge to scatter the ashes of the Wen Sect’s remnants and him.  (…) Wei WuXian, “Now it’s time to ask just whom it is that treasures it so much. It’s like Wen Ning. Back then, some certain sects or so were scared to death of the Ghost General. They said they’d kill him on the surface, but behind their backs they hid him for over ten years. How strange. Who was the one that said his ashes had been scattered back then?” Chapter 79 (immediately succeeding the flashbacks), EXR translation 

Once again, Wei Wuxian’s own thoughts relate to the flashbacks we’ve just been shown. And, as I previously mentioned, though all the events which are shown are tragic, they’re also events which Wei Wuxian’s own choices and actions shaped – which he has this to say about:

“The things I did, not only do you remember them, I remember them too. You won’t forget them, and they’ll stay even longer in my mind!” Chapter 82, EXR

Admittedly, this applies more to the third set of flashbacks than the second (which is still fitting as the third set was the most recent), as in the second, although he still had agency within and influence over his circumstances, the majority of the pain was caused by others’ actions (excluding, of course, the Golden Core transfer… which is something we know stays for a long time in his mind, albeit with a caveat we’ll soon discuss). But it’s still important to note – especially considering that otherwise, focusing on this very painful time in his life wouldn’t seem like something very in-character for Wei Wuxian to do.

Of course, this can all just be explained by good writing. It is best to insert flashbacks when they’re relevant to the characters and events in the present day! But it is interesting to compare these to the start of the (not painful) Gusu flashbacks, which open this way:

At a later time, Wei WuXian pondered upon the reason why his relationship with Lan WangJi wasn’t good. Getting to the root of the matter, everything started when he was fifteen, coming to the GusuLan Sect with Jiang Cheng to study for three months. Chapter 13, EXR

Again, considering the circumstances around which these flashbacks take place – returning to the Cloud Recesses for the first time since the lectures, and meeting Lan Wangji once more – it makes complete sense for Wei Wuxian to be thinking about these events*. So it does fit the pattern of Wei Wuxian dwelling on something, thus leading to the narrative dwelling on it, too (and being shaped by his thoughts)… but there’s another layer to this. Importantly, it is the only flashback where Wei Wuxian’s present thoughts don’t lead to this happening, with his thoughts at an unspecified future time leading to it, instead. I like to interpret this as the text saying that, since these events aren’t something Wei Wuxian wouldn’t focus on in normal circumstances, he can dwell on them at any time. Therefore, they’re free to come up in the narrative at any time as well, even if he’s not dwelling on them in the present moment!

So, to summarise: Wei Wuxian’s decision not to focus on the painful times in his life directly influences the narrative to not focus on these times. When painful times are brought up and shown to us, it’s in the context of him thinking about them in the present day, and even then, his most painful moments still aren’t shown to us. His agency in this regard is still respected by the narrative structure.

This is the main way his agency influences the structure of the narrative, but I’d like to talk about the revealing and concealing of information, too. For example, I said I’d talk about the Golden Core transfer – though Wei Wuxian does think about this many times, as evidenced by his internal narration in Chapter 103. But unlike everything we’re shown through the flashbacks, this is something Wei Wuxian is actively trying to hide from others. And the narrative respects this choice (Wei Wuxian’s agency, again), never reveals it even when it would be relevant in the flashbacks, and we find out not through narration, but through a character’s dialogue!

And to clarify – I know these aspects may not be in the book for this exact reason. Showing flashbacks in relevant moments is good writing, concealing an important plot point you want to do a reveal for is necessary writing, and MXTX has said she didn’t want to write about Wei Wuxian’s time in the Burial Mounds, due to not liking to write transformation sequences (and also because it would not be pleasant at all, which likely also applies to Wei Wuxian’s death). That doesn’t prevent it from also being intentional – MXTX’s intelligence is shown in many aspects of this book, and there’s nothing disproving it – but there’s no proof for either option, so I won’t pretend there is. I bring this up because I know this feels like I’m overanalysing, as I feel that way as well.

But, whether it’s intentional or not, it exists in the text, and I adore it – so, regardless, it’s something I’ll explore. Because taking this into account… We aren't just told about Wei Wuxian having agency, we aren’t just shown it in the text, we aren’t even just shown it through which parts of his past are shown and hidden in the structure of the text (as I talked about in Part One). The parts of the past that are shown and hidden also have an in-universe reason for being shown and hidden, this reason being the choices he makes! Agency is the ability of a character to influence the story they’re in, but Wei Wuxian’s agency, as a property of a character who only exists in-universe, shapes the out-of-universe structure as well! That’s how we’re shown its importance! How cool is that?

At The End Of The Road: Summary and Final Thoughts

In this essay, we’ve covered how important Wei Wuxian’s agency is not only to the events of the plot, but to the structure of the narrative as well. The narrative omits periods in which Wei Wuxian has little or no agency, in favour of showing us periods in which he does, even when important events happened in the former. This indicates that who Wei Wuxian is without agency isn’t important enough to be shown to the audience, and therefore that his agency is an integral aspect of his character in MDZS. We’ve discussed how both in-universe and out-of-universe, tragedy does not define him – out-of-universe, the tragic events in Wei Wuxian’s life are used not to build sympathy but rather to show his strength of character and who he still is despite going through them; and in-universe, he chooses not to focus on the negativity and resentment caused by his circumstances or others’ actions, instead staying true to his moral compass and enjoying his life in the present day. Finally, we’ve also explored how this choice is another reason for the omission of certain events from the narrative, resulting in his agency shaping the story in a very literal way – it affects the out-of-universe structure, as well.

It’s quite fitting, for a story whose essence is about defying a conventional narrative – that of righteous clans rising up and defeating a great evil – and about a character who defies many conventional narratives on his own – that of status defining how skilled you could be, that for a golden core being necessary for cultivation and other paths being unavailable, that of a tragic but complete story of someone killed for staying true to their moral code (instead, that character returns to life and has a happy ending) – to have its own narrative play a role in such an important and interesting way.

(Or, if an image would be preferable:)

Thank you for reading!

(Part One | Part Two | Full version on AO3)

--

*This strong relation to the present day circumstances is another reason I love the flashback placement so much (and why I think it’s such a loss both screen adaptions altered it so strongly)! 

[twilight-zoned-out]

"Seven years ago we all went through the flames; and the happiness of some of us since then is, we think, well worth the pain we endured."

Although Dracula was published in 1897, some think that it takes place in 1893 because of the way the days and dates used line up. If that's the case, Jonathan Harker's epilogue, seven years later, would have been added around 1900. A new era bubbling with new change and new conventions. The story ends with Jonathan looking ahead to a new century filled with the unknown and being able to look on the past, despite its darkness, "without despair."

[incorrect-koh-posts]

Masterlist of KoH-related Novels

Below you'll find a list of every novel I know of that is set in the same period as Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven (2005), covers at least some of the same events and features some or all of the historical figures that also appear in the film. The list will be updated occasionally as I work my way through. Enjoy!

✷ English-language novels & novels available in translation

1879: Lady Sibyl's Choice (Emily Sarah Holt) -> thoughts

1937: The Leper King (Zofia Kossak, originally published in Polish) -> thoughts

1954: Knight Crusader (Ronald Welch)

1965: The Wandering Unicorn (Manuel Mujica Lainez, originally published in Spanish) -> thoughts

1969: The Knights of Dark Renown (Graham Shelby) -> thoughts

1989: Alamut (Judith Tarr)

1991: The Dagger and the Cross (Judith Tarr)

1992: Pagan's Crusade (Catherine Jinks)

1996: Jerusalem (Cecelia Holland) -> thoughts

1998: The Book of Saladin (Tariq Ali)

1998 - 2000: Arn the Knight Templar series (Jan Guillou, originally published in Swedish)

The Road to Jerusalem (1998)

The Knight Templar (1999)

The Kingdom at the End of the Road (2000)

2004: Crusader King (Susan Peek)

2006: Sand Daughter (Sarah Bryant)

2007: The Leper Crown (George Morgan)

2009 - 2021: The Magdalen Cycle series (Scott R. Rezer)

#1: The Leper King (2009)

#2: The Pawns of Sion (2015)

#3: The Gambit Queen (2021)

2011: The King's Witch (Cecelia Holland)

2011 - 2013: Saladin trilogy (Jack Hight)

Eagle (2011)

Kingdom (2012)

Holy War (2013)

2011 - 2023: The Last King of Legends series (Serafia Cross)

#1: The Kingmakers (2011)

#2: In the Face of Trials (2012)

#3: The Sovereign Gambit (2015)

#4: The King's Last Deeds (2023)

2012 - 2017: Outremer Chronicles series (Peter Tolladay)

#1: The Templar's Apprentice (2012)

#2: The Harsh Mistress (2014)

#3: The Thorn in the Crown (2016)

2014 - 2016: Balian d'Ibelin series (Helena P. Schrader) -> thoughts

#1: Knight of Jerusalem (2014)

#2: Defender of Jerusalem (2015)

#3: Envoy of Jerusalem (2016)

2018: Templar Silks (Elizabeth Chadwick)

2018 - 2020: The Brotherhood series (K. M. Ashman)

#1: Templar Steel (2018)

#2: Templar Stone (2019)

#3: Templar Blood (2020)

2018 - 2023: Watchers of Outremer series (Suzannah Rowntree)

#2: The Lady of Kingdoms (2019)

#5: The House of Mourning (2023)

2020: The Leper King (Peter Busby)

2020: The Land Beyond the Sea (Sharon Kay Penman) -> thoughts

✷ Non-English novels not available in translation:

1959: L'Étoile de Pourpre (Serge Dalens & Pierre Joubert, French comic)

1999 - 2017: Die Templerin series (Wolfgang & Rebecca Hohlbein, German)

#3: Die Rückkehr der Templerin (2004)

#4: Das Wasser des Lebens (2008)

#5: Das Testament Gottes (2011)

#6: Das Band des Schicksals (2017)

2002: Thibaut ou la Croix Perdue (Juliette Benzoni, French)

2007: Las Lanzas de Jerusalén (Georges Bordonove, Spanish)

2019: Die Assassinin (Alexandra Cavelius, German)

✷ Tangentially related:

1946: mentions of KoH characters in The World is not Enough (Zoé Oldenbourg)

1997: Queen of Swords (Judith Tarr), about Baldwin's grandmother Melisende

[idontmindifuforgetme]

I literally know so much of my misery boils down to my overextended reading slump like this can’t go on

[ilynpilled]

re “most popular lannister in fandom” discussion lol i love cersei obv but im not particularly shocked at her not being as immensely popular as her brothers in book circles. not even just because of misogyny but the type of character that she is and her “likability”. nonetheless, there is a lot to say and discuss about her and her complexity anyway and id love to see that more over “girlboss delulu queen x100”. idrgaf about what others think but the only thing that kinda bugs me is when i see multiple ppl complain about tyrion specifically lacking the intrigue and discussion that sorrounds jaime sometimes (which is a gripe i entirely understand and resonate with, especially bc we can guess the types of things it could be rooted in; and there is a lot of material to discuss with him ofc) and then never discussing him or really mentioning him themselves either, especially centering him. like ye i write like 800 pages on jaime or whatever and not as much about the other two bc i find him the most compelling personally for whatever reason but lol thats just me. be the change u want to see, especially if u find him the most interesting personally

[hanzajesthanza]

i know everyone here myself included is a big nerd so, like percival schuttenbach, so we do not find a problem with this but instead find it cool, but

you ever think about how in the interior of regis’ hut by fen carn, his room was literally just: a bed. a small table littered with vials and flasks. a pot-bellied stove. and an extensive, complex, highly developed distillery system. and the only food he had on hand was a basket of horseradish.

now, this sounds great, because distillery is a cool hobby, but i don’t think any of us are putting this into perspective

imagine it like this:

meet a guy, middle aged, maybe 50s. lives alone in the middle of nowhere. okay. goes to his place to spend the night.

go inside his room. no furniture in the entire room except a bed and a small bedside table with a bunch of mismatched dirty cups, some randomly half-full. and taking up half the room is an excessively pro gaming setup, monitors, chair, the works, all in all costing about $50K, lighting up the entire room with enough RGB lighting to send you to heaven. oh and there’s a radiator heater in the corner.

haha ok man. would you happen to have any food i’m kind of hungry. “yep” opens fridge. nothing in there except a bag of parsnips and a half-empty bottle of sparkling water. okay man

[lasororiteinfernale]

lily in the mud. {tboft}

❝𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓬𝓱𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓾𝓬𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓽.❞

✥ 𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 ✥

𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞: Essa Din Shallows 𝐀𝐠𝐞: 19 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 + 𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜: 16 June + Gemini☉ Scorpio ☾ Sagittarius ⇡ 𝐁𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞: Leaker Landing, Brandelbellan

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬: Edder & Aspalis Shallows

𝐌𝐨𝐝𝐞𝐥: Betty Schupp

✥ 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 ✥

While Essa does not possess most of the traits her sister was praised for, she does have an inversion of them. Almost like she was born backwards, in a way. For instance, Enna was magnetic for her disarming aura while Essa is magnetic for all her wickedness- she attracts an ilk of mates that…are largely her friends for the shock value more than any real connection. She's despised at Court for, not only legitimate reasons, but also because she is of low-birth and seems to have somehow bewitched a wealthy widower into obsession with her. Essa is horrible- a thief, a liar, a manipulator, and often needlessly cruel- but she isn't guilty of the larger crimes she's accused of (such as the murder of her sister or the entrancing of a once respected man). It's given her a lot of room to feel sorry for herself- she does like to sulk on her own and brood when she's not getting her way. Socially, Essa's a pariah with the up-standing members of Court (even with the King Himself), but she has managed to draw a little circle of heathens to herself because she does like a bit of company, a bit of story-telling and gossiping and sweet drink. Men fancy her, but any relationships are kept secret because they don't wish to have their names sullied alongside hers. She's really cultivated for herself a very lonely existance, even if she won't ackowledge that fact. No one really wants to be tied to her other than the widower whose mental state is currently a question mark. So, Essa really can't wait to get into a new environment to possibly try to network her way into a "tidier" situation than the one she's currently got at home- perhaps in another Kingdom where she doesn't run the risk of slipping straight into the earth wherever she goes. More than she'd like to admit, Essa is looking high and low for some sort of acceptance- she just doesn't know how to get it without lying her arse off.

✥ 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 ✥

Essa and her twin sister, Enna, grew up quite poor in Brandelbellan's Leaker Landing. While Enna was always a happy, adventurous child- well-loved and popular, Essa was more of a conniving creature with a penchant for delving out harsh-truths and needless venom. (Her mother liked to say she has "a mouth like a Nix".) The twins were identical yet dissimilar in spirit as night and day. And it was no secret that Enna was the favourite. When Essa was thirteen, her sister drowned in the fathomless mires of Leaker Landing- and Essa was blamed for having let Enna go into the deep bog alone. Enna's body was never recovered, thoroughly taken by the bog, and Essa was essentially run out of Leaker Landing by its inhabitants (for some were convinced she murdered Enna out of jealousy and they wanted the girl to hang for it).Essa ended up in Din-Mire (she never liked the deep marshland anyway) and managed to fenegal her way into the home of a lesser noble family- the Mwdryses. She made many claims in which to make herself appear pitiful- one of which was that her father had killed her sister in a drunken rage and that he was now after Essa. Out of a desire to keep her safe, the Mwdrys Lord and Lady offered Essa a bed until other arrangements could be made for her. However, the "arrangements" were hardly what Essa would have expected. They sent her to work in the House of Midden-Hel. As a kitchen girl, no less. Essa never had grandeurous ideas about her future, but she at least did not see herself soot-covered, feet aching, hair stuck to her forehead from the heat of the fires. She took every opportunity to get out of the underbelly of the House, if only to fill her lungs with the cool bog air, but for the most part, she remained choked (and angry as hell) in the kitchens for close to two years. Then, a misfortune-turned-fortune. When Essa was sixteen, she was caught by the Head Cook eating a tray of fare meant for a guest of the Midden-Hel King- and it was evident that this was certainly not the first instance. She was promptly taken before the King for punishment- and his order was that Essa be beaten. This, all before the eyes of the entire assembled Mudling Court- and it happened to be that Lord Mwdrys was among them. Instead of the beating, Mwdrys stepped in on Essa's behalf, asking to remove her from the Royal House altogether by taking her back into his own. Midden-Hel, thoroughly indifferent at that point, allowed it. It turned out that the Lady Mwdrys had died a year previously, leaving the Lord alone. However, it was apparent to Essa that whatever moved Mwdrys to take a virtual stranger and an apparent thief back into his home, it wasn't as simple as pity or heartsickness over the passing of his wife. For the past three years, living in the House of Mwdrys, Essa has been considering a number of things. Furthest from her mind, however, is the notion of marring Mwdrys- as the widower has asked (begged) for her hand now at least a dozen times. (He's a foul man, whatever he portrays himself to be at Court.) No, her considerations have much more to do with poisoned cups followed by nights upon nights of lascivious partying with her friends (the few she has as she is quite despised at Court). Possibly it's more of a daydream than an actual consideration. Possibly… Her daydreams aside for now, Essa will be leaving for the Lillium Academy, if for nothing more than to create some space from Lord Mwdrys and to satiate her desire for a new element- one where she is not so…infamous. Besides, how quaint is it to have made up a little school that teaches something so banal as peace? Just a darling concept- stupid but darling.

[septxwber]

Just finished my reread of tfc and honesty though, how could I be so dense and not realise that Andreil was going to be a thing

[ttrpg-smash-pass-vs]

They're elves of the shadowfell, normal human height. They specialize in teleportation and invisibility, with the casters among them throwing in confusion and fear and illusion. Be careful though, as any trained in combat start making non-elves slower and worse while within 10 feet. From depression, from the sound of it. Their angst about being more ancient and timeless than you wordlessly attaches to you like a parasite, slowing you down. Good for if you enjoy concepts like-

Shadows, but like DARKER than shadow, that lash out when they're moody

looking beautiful unless in shadow, in which case they're corpselike

ignoring pointless things like "comfort" and "morals" and "rules"

being the chosen of the Raven Queen, and on her behalf collecting dark tragedy, sorrow, and feelings of loss.

being corpse pale with jet black hair, pure black eyes, and covered with tattoos/piercings/anything that would make a generic white suburban mom in the 50's scream in terror.

Lumping them all together because they're all the same outside one having mage hand and such. Idc what weapon they're holding.

[marzipanandminutiae]

several people I now have summed up my issues with House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson as "she had post-nut clarity halfway through writing the book" and that's such a great way to describe it

like

it's okay the Hot Evil Vampire Lady can be Morally Gray with Big Pretty Eyes and a Sad Backstory That Doesn't Like EXCUSE Everything But You Still Feel BAD For Her. nobody's going to judge you if you don't make her Actually Super-Unsexy-REALLY-Evil All Along

you don't have to hard pivot into guilt-tripping everyone reading for getting involved in the twisted love story you wrote, in the last act of your novel

because that's really what the twist of the book felt like to me after the buildup that seemed to be genuinely suggesting affection between Marion and Lisavet- "oh, you were invested in this? you thought it was an actual dark romance? THINK AGAIN SHE NEVER LOVED HER OR ANYONE AND SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME TO LOTS OF WOMEN (WHO SHE ALSO DOES NOT LOVE) AND ACTUALLY SHE'S MEGABAD IN EVERY WAY. NO NUANCE NO SYMPATHY WHATSOEVER"

(it also didn't really function as a critique of the society she'd set up, IMO. because it's not an issue common to ALL the Northern houses- we see and hear about bloodmaids who did things normally, who served their- admittedly fucked-up but not lethal -terms and got pensioned off in the usual way. so this society that claims to be lifting young women out of poverty and richly compensating them for giving of their literal physical being to keep the ultra-rich young, is actually...doing that. with no apparent lasting downsides for former bloodmaids that we ever see. except this one Really Messed-Up Household)

(there wasn't even mention made of like...pensioned-off bloodmaids being particularly rare in comparison with the numbers of the ones who enter service. I literally don't recall any implication that mysterious bloodmaid deaths or vanishings were at all common outside the House of Hunger. I'm sure there are psychological effects that linger for the rest of these women's lives, and there could have been some cool Hunger Games-style commentary on that. but since that's not what the book focuses on, you're kind of left with the impression that this sucks for HoH bloodmaids and is generally a pretty sweet deal for all the others)

[justafriend-ql]

I love you, Ray. I'll never abandon you. ONLY FRIENDS Episode 4