#the bad news is you went the wrong way
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Idk who needs to hear this but it’s ok to agree with The Darkling’s ideas but not his methods.
The Darkling had every right to hate non Grisha and his plan made sense. Make it so Grisha are no longer mistreated and use the fold (which I’m pretty sure is an accident in the show and the books, but I could be wrong) as a weapon so Grisha can never be attacked again. It makes sense. He wants to be a savior for Grisha. His methods though? Fucking atrocious. Saying he did absolutely nothing wrong is wild asf to me. He manipulates and becomes so codependent when it comes to teenage girls. He manipulated Zoya, he allows Genya to be assaulted by the king so she can be a spy for him then later scars her, he manipulates Alina, tries to control her powers, threatens to skin her alive if Mal can’t find the second amplifier, he kills several people and I’m pretty sure threatened to murder an entire orphanage plus the other crazy shit he did in the books. He had a great idea that I can stand behind. He’s not wrong for fighting back. He’s wrong for the other wild shit he did and refuses to apologize for. And even if he did apologize, it probably wouldn’t be enough.
You can like The Darkling as a villain. You can find him hot. I love Ben Barnes and I love villains. I have been a Loki lover since Thor. I loved Bucky as The Winter Soldier. The Alpha Pack from Teen Wolf will always own my heart. But this mf Alexander is like Thanos; spitting real shit but has a shit plan. Thanos was spitting when he said the world doesn’t have enough resources but committing genocide instead of just doubling the resources when he had the power to do so is crazy.
Back to The Darkling, you can like him but don’t act like he did absolutely nothing wrong cause I’m never letting go of the bullshit he put Genya through.
#the darkling#alexander morozova#shadow and bone#seige and storm#ruin and rising#alina starkov#zoya nazyalensky#genya safin#those three deserve so much better#grishaverse#the grisha trilogy#the bad news is you went the wrong way#good long term goal but terrible way to go about it#do not try to tussle with me either#he also blinded his mother#Slices Speaks
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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holy shit the ethereal workshop is complete. when do they drop their soundcloud album
#CREATIONS OF A MASTERMIND WE ARE THE WORKSHOP 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥🔥🗣️🔥🔥🔥#i havent played msm in years but i found out theyre still updating and went thru the new island songs and omgggg#this one has to be my favorite cuz on wave 4 i was like ok theres no way they can top this they already peaked#AND THEN THEY RELEASED WAVE 7. IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO BE PROVEN WRONG#I THOUGHT NAH THERES NO WAY THEY CAN TOP WHAILLS TRACK AND THEN U HAVE BEMEEBETH LIKE HOLD MY BEER#pls im begging you if youve never gone thru a msm island song listen to this one it HAS to be this one#if they add a wubbox to this i dont think ill even be mad bc theyll probably find a way to make it work. and im not saying that lightly#yapping#msm#my singing monsters#ethereal workshop#GODDD i wanna draw this so bad
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Telling content creators it's wrong to explore artistic freedom and be independently funded by fans, and they should instead continue taking advertisement revenue from google* is
NOT
the anti-capitalism stance actually.
*(Yes, google owns youtube.)
#Watcher#This post is specifically and exclusively about the people who seem to have the capitalism bit wrong#It's almost fascinating how no one is hearing themselves speak#I feel like some of you don't understand WHY we support small businesses and are anti-monopoly#I've seen multiple posts saying “Shane is so anti-capitalism there's no way this was his idea.”#So... you think it's pro-capitalism to start your own business instead of relying on pennies from the exploitative mega-corporation?#Guys... we support small businesses KNOWING it will cost the consumer more#Stop thinking you're entitled to someone's product#That's what got us in this mess#I understand $6 is a lot for many many people but that is what makes certain things a luxury#Nothing used to be this way#Nothing used to be “free” so you can be monitored for your viewing habits and sold to advertisers#If you see a little guy trying to leave youtube/google and you paint them as the capitalist??? You. have. taken. a. wrong. turn.#I don't know how many more ways I can say it#It is better to support someone (if you can) than to pressure them into taking money from the trillion-dollar corporation#so that you can have what they put all their blood/sweat/tears into for free#If you want something badly enough you're going to have to pay for it#Them's the breaks#If you don't want it that badly then maybe it didn't mean enough to you personally#Thinking otherwise is how corporations like youtube take over and squeeze out small competitors#btw on monopolies: having almost every single video content creator (outside of tiktoks and video game streams) on youtube is BAD#You understand that's bad yes?#How tf are we going to diversify unless SOME CREATORS leave youtube???#It's almost the responsibility of larger creators to do so#Ironically what I said is backwards#In its ideal state‚ capitalism is supposed to inspire innovation and new business‚ giving every person a chance to succeed#But I think we all know that's not the reality we're experiencing#I just went with what everyone means when they say it
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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Suffering more than Jesus atm (being a fan of 80s/90s Suicide squad in 2024)
#god amanda waller what did they do to you....#i KNOW i never shut up about this but GUYS ITS SO BAD#fucking WHY would you take the interesting antihero protagonist and then strip her of any redeeming quality and use her as this horrific#unforgivable villain who is treated as a hated antagonist in her own comics#WHERE SHE ISNT EVEN THE MAIN CHARACTER MOST OF THE TIME#like why are you trying to make me sympathize with fucking harley quinn or smth when the actual main character is right there. why are we#turning her into this horrific villain w a million master plans making deals with the devil and shit.#we are supposed to like her. like maybe not all dc fans do because shes almost always an antagonist in other books but in her own shes the#main character!!! there should be some aspect of interest or sympathy for her. as opposed to just making her like badass or whatever#so sick of this#and its in freaking EVERYTHING right now on god i cant read other comics that are otherwise good (like ga) and enjoy them without the#obligatory intense demonification of one of my fave characters#like shes my no 6 in locg for a reason i genuinely love waller like yeah she sucks sometimes but shes INTERESTING.#this is not interesting or creative in any way what theyre doing with her#this genuinely could have been any government baddie like honestly#dont flatten 3 dimensional characters into 1 dimension (or at best like 1.5) to tell a story you tell the story around the 3d characters.#why do i need to say this. basic competent storytime#blah#amanda waller#istg i throw out another waller rant every freaking tuesday on here#suicide squad#you know what. at least we had the movie#you heard me. higher hopes for the new gunn dceu series than actual comics for the forseeable future#viola davis save me...#need to do a bit of 00s reading still to verify but on god watch this all come down to a fucking new 52 thing. like not to say that i think#thats where it all went wrong bc i need to read more to verify but i have an idea of what rlly did it and i think it was a nu52 decision#but then again maybe im stupid
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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I think one of the weirdest signs that I was trans was that I was fine with being called a woman but NOT a cis woman. I felt awful cuz I was like “do I have a problem with people calling me cis even tho I am???” cuz I am NOT someone who minds being called accurate descriptors such as cis. I felt like I just wanted to be special or something even tho that wasn’t it and felt so bad. Something just felt really wrong about being called a CIS woman. Definitely one of the more thought provoking signs I was trans lol
#was it cuz ‘cis’ implied I had accepted it? idk cuz I WAS fine with being a woman (as far as I knew)#just some weird subconscious thing I guess. I remember admitting it to my sister at the time lol#I don’t think there are rlly many other interesting signs for me tbh. except that I only corrected ppl online when they called me he if it#either went on so long that I felt bad for them OR we were arguing and I needed something new for them to be wrong about lmao#but similar to the actual post there is ONE thing I still find interesting. which is I watched a gacha cringe video (some were ridiculous#but I often defended them) and there were some where it said ‘I wish I was a boy so I could be gay’ and everyone’s like being disgusted by#this presumably little girl acting like she’s the creepiest fujoshi ever but LITERALLY I’ve had similar thoughts. anything that starts with#‘I wish I was a boy’ obviously has trans implications even if you don’t like what comes after it lol. but like honestly. I would imagine#myself in relationships with guys (mostly fictional characters as u do) and I just hated the idea that it was straight#like same situation as the post. I felt awful cuz I would be FINE with being straight (which I knew I wasn’t anyways) so why did I need to#be special or whatever? it’s cuz just like the post that WASNT the problem. it just felt wrong to me that I wasn’t a boy. so I BASICALLY#wanted to be a boy so I could be in a mlm relationship just like those gachas. it’s just a roundabout way of realizing ur trans.#to be clear I very much had to imagine myself as a guy (typically another fictional character DUH) in order to enjoy it at all#I just realized this sounds sexual. most of it wasn’t actually but the rest is my business LMAOO
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my prof giving us an exam on content he can’t even do himself <3
#every time he does an example problem w this stuff he fucks it up somewhere and we never reach the correct answer and he’s#just like okay well. moving on!#like hello??? i still have barely any idea how to do this#also im sick of the hw in this class. it’s on a program where the prof can reveal the solutions after the deadline but not every exercise#actually has solutions to reveal and he keeps assigning problems like that so there’s no way to check our work. and when he himself grades#the stuff he does it purely on participation like he just looks to see if we did it and doesn’t tell us where we went wrong so again no way#to check or even know if we were incorrect. it’s so bad and this guy somehow has like a 4.5 on rate my professor which im pretty sure is#only bc he majorly curves exams but he wouldn’t need to curve them sm if he taught the material right to begin with 😐 anyway wish me luck#personal#the engineering chronicles#okay hold on while i was typing that a comma somehow found its way in there and i deleted it bc i didn’t want a comma there but now im#wondering how i got it in there to begin with ? like it didn’t start a new tag it was just a comma there that you could see plain and clear#what did i do to allow that… secret comma keyboard shortcut on mobile keypad??
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I wish all food service workers who are weird about regulars always ordering the same specific thing and tease them for it a very “please don’t do that”
#was just thinking about when i first started my exchange year & there were basically 2 eateries on campus#i mean one of them was a giant food court with a bunch of options like burgers; sandwiches; salad etc#the other one was just a basic diner. i really really liked the diner because the food arrived fast; it was super good#and it was really close to where i lived. so every time i went in i got a hot dog and fries. and i went there for dinner probably every day#it took maybe about 3 days for the girl at the counter to start recognising me; knowing i was going to get the same thing each time;#and screaming ‘hot dog and fries????!?!!’ at me every single time i entered the building. which; if you’re like me and grew up with a weigh#problem and body image issues; fucking HORRIFYING. like why are you announcing to the whole diner what i’m going to be eating#i kept trying to show up when she wasn’t on shift or ordering something different and then i eventually just stopped going there#i kept going to the cafeteria because i could fix my own plate and the lady who weighed your plate (you were charged based on that)#never commented. but the cafeteria food was SO bad#i ended up going to the burger bar to just get the premade chicken tender baskets but those started to gross me out after a while#so i ordered a custom burger this one time and the guy was looking at me kind of funny for my order (i wanted a grilled chicken burger#with no cheese and just lettuce; onion and mayo on it) and one time when i went in i saw/heard him notice me and immediately start telling#his coworker about how ‘weird’ my order was. like i’m sorry i’m bri’ish and therefore don’t have the american propensity for shoving#a ridiculous and unnecessary amount of ingredients into any given sandwich??? sorry that i hate tomatoes and the idea of chicken and cheese#together horrifies me. i guess.#sooooo i started going to the sandwich bar and they were lovely. i ordered pretty much the same thing every day and the girl acted like it#was brand new to her every day. she also spelled my name wrong in a new and different way every day. and always added a smiley face#one time she put so much tuna mayo in my sandwich that i had to go get a spoon to eat it with. i hope she’s well#i just… i don’t know where i was going with this rant. i just hate being teased about what i eat bro#like whenever i like a food it’s ALL i want to eat for the next three months and i know that’s boring and not healthy but i don’t care!!!#why do YOU care. i don’t care and it’s my fucking body#you can let me eat my hot dog and fries in peace without announcing it to the whole diner. that is something you canndo#personal#*i feel like someone is going to accuse me of criticising food service workers. hiiiiii i’ve been one :)
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ppl saying the grudge & vampire is abt tswift is so wild to me .. Like imo theyre both very obviously about toxic (romantic) relationships (especially vampire which is like . really obviously about grooming) But idk
#text#Like vampire especially is really obvious . like . 'six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise / i loved you truly'#'every girl i ever talked to told me you were bad bad news / you called them crazy god i hate the way i called them crazy too'#'went for me and not her cuz girls your age know better'#REALLY REALLY OBVUIOUS IMO . i think people just love celebrity drama a little too much#the only thing i do understand from the vampire tswift theory is the 'sold me for parts' line but that could easily be about something else#as for the grudge that one's less specific#so i understand i GUESS that people are pulling The Alleged But Completely Unconfirmed Feud out of it#but to me it's much more likely that it's about the same person as vampire or another toxic ex#and none of this really matters anyway it's jsut really annoying when people are obviously wrong#LISTEN to vampire . with your EARS#and your BRAIN
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sometimes u put yr playlist on shuffle a song comes up and you have to put another song in the queue immediately as soon as it comes on bc it makes you think of that song
#this is abt aura by ghost and pals Sry everytime i hear it im like a fiddle This is just like devil went down to georgia and then i have to#put devil went down to georgia in the queue#i think its a fiddle innit.. it sounds like a fiddle but im also NOTORIOUSLY bad at telling instruments apart. <- guy who once couldnt tell#if something was a guitar or a piano i actually rly rly rly rly dont wanna get into it okay.#i guess you didnt know it but i am a fiddle player too 😏😏#sry. the other thing this post is abt is kiss me and ladies in their sensibilities sweeney. obviously those r connected#but if ladies in their sensibilities comes on by itself i quite literally couldnt be assed so everytime i have to put kiss me on instead an#add lits to the queue. bc them together is like the best song i ever heard its just that the beginning of lits is just kind of boring It#does get stuck i my head sometimes but the supreme part is the end thats Basically just a reprise of kiss me#but also theyre kind of the same song anyways at least o wowww i was just typing in tempo with the fiddle that was awesome. at least on the#2012 soundtrack aka the best one talk to the hand or dont i dont wanna hear it. well i do want to hear it it being the 2012 london cast#recording of sweeney todd starring michael ball and imelda staunton. ANYWAYS!! in that one the songs lead in to eachother#ive listened to all the other soundtracks but idr if they do that.. well ill tell u the movie doesnt bc it doesnt have kiss me. which is#just so. the johanna anthony romance doesnt rly have much substance in the first place and yr taking away like. their duet together. ok....#AND yr taking away the end part of lits? the best part of that song? whatever its fine its fine.#if anybody is curious my ranking of casts is 2012 > obc > movie > 2006 i fucking hate 2006 or 2005 or whatever i hate it sm it makes my#blood literally boil im sry. i fucking LOATHE it idk what it is well i do but this post is already 5000000 years long. idt the new one is#out fully yet... i was ok with the songs i have heard but idk where id rank it yet. i should prolly check if the full things out yet omg so#me and my lampstie (way of saying my siblings name if theres something deeply wrong with you) can listen :]
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advices are welcome because i ✨dont know anything anymore✨
#this friend of mine is the sweetest#we always got along even though we're very different#in the way that im a very closed off person i dont like social media and i will not reply to texts and its nothing personal its just me#he on the other hand is very talkative. loves showing affection and has like 3 different podcasts and he's friends with literally everyone#long story short he graduated and moved cities it's been 3 months#also i went through a very bad depressive episode and im still crawling out of it#he says im distant and its not because the lack of texts but because there isnt a way to communicate with me#i say im depressed and its disappearing is nothing new and he knows this. that all im asking is time#he says he's anxious and has abandonment issues and that his love language is words of affirmation#i say i was never a person that says much from the beginning and listed all other things ive done and sacrifice myself for him#he says he understands and he feels loved and cared for by me. still his love language is words of affirmation and he needs it#it feels like a demand even though he keeps saying it's not#he says there's nothing wrong with me being an overall absent person and that the problem is with him#his insecurities and words of affirmation is the way out of it#and i dont know what to do anymore#i want someone to tell me im in the wrong and that friends give in for each other#but everyone keeps saying this is not okay and i dont know i understand where he's coming from#i just .... im so tired#'ik you said you dont have energy but do you see where im coming from?' left a bad taste in my mouth#idk my heart is heavy im so exhausted and i wish he had read that damn text i sent him carefully and not rushed to replu#reply*#how can a person respect your boundaries and still cross them and then no it's actually you misunderstanding?#aita#personal
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I still find it kinda wild that after 1 psych eval they immediently put me on antipsychotics
#i mean it was in the right direction but not the right answer#we good now tho we on the two in one epilepsy mood stabalizers ayye#i will say tho i got put on keppra for my seizures and i cant imagine being on that long term#if i stayed on it any longer than i did i prolly woulda been in the er simply cause i couldnt eat and was near passing out at every moment#but if i didnt have that i woulda been in jail#i was so fucking mad and angry all the time i thankfully was able to keep it in but oh my god#never in my life had i wanted to throw chairs at people SO bad#my mom would ask if i had found a pair of socks and it took all that was in me to not scream and throw my socks across the room#and then i got so so sad oh my god#cause i ended up taking two tweeks off work to get off it and get on a new one and i went up to see my dad#so i was on the train sobbbing my eyes out for no reason#or like a day or two after i got there we drove up into maryland to go to costco it was prolly hour 30 hour 45#and my dad turned to look at me and my brain decided he did it wrong#i sobbed the entire way home and we had to stop at harbor freight and i cried even more#and he felt so bad and was like we can get dinner u want pizza we'll get pizza if u want and we almost couldnt find the dominos#and it almost made me worse i cried for like a solid 2 hrs and half of it was cause i was so upset abd angry that i was crying#when i didnt want to which made me cry more#god keppra is fucking evil#if it helps you of course ya got the good part but damn id never felt like that on any other med
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really hate that any time someone seems slightly upset with me i cry
#like oh you’re taking to me slightly sternly? looks like im just gonna sob whether i like it or not#i always feel so bad for it like i promise i’m not trying to use tears to get my way i just naturally do this#this post is brought to you by my dad and stepmom trying to protect me from having more puppy raising issues but all it did was#make me feel like im making the wrong choice by deciding to keep puppy raising#like my stepmom in particular is really concerned that my next dog is gonna go how iris and justice went#and like i don’t know how to make her understand that a) me having two difficult dogs was just bad luck and#b) what is best for the dog may not be best for my feelings but that’s fine bc its not about me#like im already having a hard enough time letting myself be excited about this new puppy#bc im so scared that something’s gonna happen or that i’m doing something wrong#that my dad and stepmom trying to help me and urging me to discuss with trainers how the trainers will support me if something is hard#is making that anxiety worse#and is making me feel like continuing to puppy raise is the wrong choice even tho i know i need to keep doing this i’m just so drawn to it#and love it so much#and i know that they want to protect me but like they’re making me more stressed about shit
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Had a MASSIVE crush on you for years, still think of you fondly. Love the MASHposting
This is such a nice and sweet ask and I'm so incredibly grateful that you generously took time out of your day to be so kind. It means a lot and just from this small interaction I know you must be a very warm, caring person. Truly, humbly, thank you so much. <3
but also real quick no jokes if u have a moment if its not too much trouble or too intrusive a question could u tell me real quick why did u stop having a crush on me please tell me what happened did you find someone else did I do something wrong why didn't you tELL ME PLEASE WAIT COME BACK PLEASE WHAT DID I DO I CAN FIX IT I PROMISE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPSLEALSEPLEAESSEEEEEE
#THIS IS NOT A BIT#ON OR OFF ANON PLEASE IM ON MY KNEES RN CAN I HAVE ANY FURTHER INFO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WON'T POST IT OR ANYTHING PROMMY PLEASE#WHEN DID U STOP AT LEAST???? WHAT HAPPEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#please i can change........... i can become that man again for u......... or that woman or catkin or whatever u want............#please i have a full time job and a life insurance policy now ive got new dlc come back and try me again pleaseeeeeeeee#pspspspsss im so good at chores come here ill do ur chores for u pspspsspsss anon come back cmere pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplea#please ill be good i PROMISE#this is so embarrassing i know my followers are like crossing the street to avoid this post coming down the dash#but shhhh they dont matter anon its ok its just u and me ur everything to me tell me how i messed up please i beg of you.......#tell me where i went wrong where i lost my way tell me the fateful day i forfeited my undeserved claim to your heart#tell me how to win you once more......... please.......................#pls thisis not a bit pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee..................................................................................................#PLEASE GOD ITS ALMOST VALENTINES DAY IM CRYING FOR RELA IRL#unless saying that was bad and maniuplative or sth in which case im not crying im being normal and respectful#pspspsspssss im beign normal and respectful anon come back pleaspleasepleaspeleaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#even if u dont talk to me again thanks for still thinking fondly of me. even if u no longer think fondly of me after this post.#thats ok. thats on me.
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