#instead. like.
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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writing advice for characters with a missing eye: dear God does losing an eyes function fuck up your neck. Ever since mine crapped out I've been slowly and unconsciously shifting towards holding my head at an angle to put the good eye closer to the center. and human necks. are not meant to accommodate that sorta thing.
#like it started with me just holding things more towards my right#but the things started shifting more towards center and my head turns instead#like. when im driving especially i have to keep my head turned so i can see on coming traffic#and when im around people ive noticed i position myself so my body is facing them and then turn my head to get them actually#centered in my now very right biased field of view#so anyways draw blorbo bleebus cheated to that 3/4s angle without guilt#at least one one eyed fucker actually does that
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i’ve seen too many people arguing that marcille was already a full grown adult when she went to school at 35 despite literally all of the canon evidence indicating otherwise
#like trying to map fantasy race lifespans to exact equivalent human ages is pointless bc it simply does not work#so forget the numbers and start judging by how the story depicts the characters’ growth and maturity instead#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#marcille donato#dungeon meshi marcille#dunmeshi spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers
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no longer on hiatus im baaaaack yayyyy ^_^
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#i was on vacation picking up seashells like hmm How can i make this about my fictional lesbians instead
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downsizing seasons from 22 episodes to 13 to 8. describing miniseries as "8 hour movies". loudly declaring that shows with 20+ episodes per season cannot truly be good. complaining that "it couldve been a movie". complaining about filler episodes. complaining about bottle episodes. complaining about episodes that prioritize character over plot. fr i think y'all just dont like television
#text#personal#im complaining both abt people who make tv AND people who watch it#if u dont like long form storytelling just say that and watch/make movies instead my godddd
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do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
#on love#aroace experiences#aroace#aromantic#asexual#aspec#aroacespec#sunbloom talks#<3#just late night revelations#i like love and i love people :)#edit: loveless aros friendly btw#i think that's what i meant when i said love but not really all those months ago#“incredible fondness” is the phrase i really like instead of love#people need to stop coming onto this post being like “nO!! this IS love!!!” shut up you dont know me. maybe it is maybe its not#this was about personal experiences and it blew up somehow unfortunately lol
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god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers
#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit#i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa#we're like all basically penpals but better#im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met#and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses#can you imagine that#every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there#insane#i love having friends
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Gravity Falls AU where everything is exactly the same except Bill’s parents are alive and well, and they’re just so proud of their chaotic dream demon son
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#the book of bill#billford#bill cipher#stanford pines#scalene cipher#euclid cipher#gravity falls fanart#cipher family fun au#digital art#my art#procreate#I just think it would be funny if like…he didn’t destroy his home dimension and instead just left to do crazy things because he wanted to#and his parents are like ‘omg that’s our boy! tormenting the masses! gaining followers! so proud of you honey!!’
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well that was awkward
#happy belated ace week everyone#i miss season 2 when everything was still kind of silly#and jon didn't make tim hate him yet :(((((#instead was just tim playing matchmaker#and being terrible at it#i like to hc basira as aro so it makes their situation funnier for me#tma#the magnus archives#magpod#tma s2#tma season two#timothy stoker#basira hussain#jonathan sims#tma fanart#asexual#aromantic#my stuff
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Must be a Sugondese joke.
#dungeon meshi#chilchuck tims#laios touden#senshi#Looks like I won't be able to post this on dungeon meshi thursday so instead I will have a fun past/future conversation#This is wednesday me who has not seen the episode yet but I have such a strong feeling that it is going to be extremely special.#*This* fight is what the first arc has been building up to and it has *so* many incredible moments.#We're going to see the chilchuck knife throw! The leg sacrifice! The bones!#Watch them ramp up the quality this episode and go wild with the frantic action of 'oh god our plan is going to shit'.#Hello. Me of the future who just watched the episode.#I knew it was going to be good but that...that blew my mind completely. My high expectations were beyond met. My god.#I'm just speechless at how well they handled everything. The leg. The tension. That ENDING.#If you have not already: PLEASE watch Dungeon Meshi.
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more bugs more drinking
#the inclusion of sprint is a form of vent art here..... documenting my reality#“”“”“”“friend”“”“”“ bought sprint instead of sprite once 1 dead 6+ injured#art#rhino beetle#gin#insect#bug#i hope this looks better printed i just did it in a hurry in like an hour and a half rip
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the tradwife movement is the same as it has always been - back in the kitchen, back to breeding - it just has better branding.
when i was younger, i hated pink. i was not like other girls. this is now something i'm embarrassed of - this was not me being a "girl's girl."
but it was expressing something many of us felt at the time: i literally wasn't what girlhood was supposed to be. this is a hard thing to explain, but you know when you're not performing girlhood correctly. it isn't as easy as "i liked x when girls liked y" - because there were other girls that liked x, too - but i never figured out exactly the correct way to like x, or to be interested in y.
now there is the divine feminine. this is the same rhetoric it has always been: women are biologically driven to like pink and ribbons and submitting to our husbands.
the problem is that the patriarchy found a better PR team. because yes, actually, i want every woman to have the choice to be a homemaker. i also want her taken seriously for her legitimate home-making labor. i want her to be recognized as also having a job, just unpaid. i want men to have this opportunity, too.
but it is no longer "i made this choice and I love it." instead it is a sixteen-paragraph rant about how selfish it is that my generation isn't having kids. instead it's long videos about how if you feed your children processed foods, you're going to kill them. instead it is "this is what womanhood is supposed to be. i feel bad for any other choices you're making."
the shame spiral is just prettier. it is large houses devoid of personality. it is the implication: if you don't have this, you aren't happy. the solid, everlasting assurance: women are actually supposed to be submitting. this is the default. this is the natural state of things. all other attempts inflict suffering.
but you can no longer say i'm not like other girls. you can no longer reject this image completely. you cannot find it revolting, even if you know that the underbelly is toxic and festering. sure, it is the same repackaged patriarchy. but the internet does not have shades of grey. you should support and reward other women! your disgust is actually internalized misogyny. not because you are seeing a vision of yourself the way they're trying to train you to be. not because you feel her ghost pass within an inch of your earlobe. not because your father will eventually ask you - why can't you be like her?
because they figured out how to make it beautiful: women will sell other women on this idea, and we will find the singular loophole in feminism. sure, she's shaming you in most of her videos. sure, she implies that a different life is obscene. but she just wants you to be happy! you'd be happier if you were listening!
and the whole time you're sitting there thinking: i'd actually just be happier if i had that kind of money.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#this is an incredibly difficult idea to express#but i basically keep watching the same timelooped interaction:#someone makes tradwife content where she's like ''i think it's SO sad when ppl don't have kids EW''#and then the response is ''... go fuck yourself? i think ur life is miserable and bad ?"#and instead of being like ''oh we are all under capitalism huh''#the response is like ''you CANT say that. she made a CHOICE. she is ALLOWED to have KIDS and be HAPPY#unlike YOU who is UNHAPPY bc you don't have KIDS.''#like .... these are people who will throw the first stone. and then when you lob one back#they ask why you're so violent. they tell you that you're a bad activist.#and you're like. PARDON????? you implied being a woman meant i need to submit to my husband???#and they're like - well it's just my belief. so what if i'm invalidating your entire identity.
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its true that romance amd friendship will not solve everything but. objectively speaking its very hard to get sad when you can say 'lets go get cake tomorrow okay' and someone will go get cake with you. like there is some good at least. you know
#i think this is why ive been so much more geniunely happy these last few years#like. i will never be going to bed alone. i will always have someone who wants me here#i will always have someone to say 'im sorry im not feeling very well now' and they will be concerned instead of being annoyed#at you as if those feelings are an inconvenience#scratchpost#txt
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i have neither a good imagination nor aphantasia, but a secret third thing
#adhd#doodles#show this to your therapist instead of failing to explain it like i did#me: its like i cant control my thoughts like i was trying to think of something earlier today but#all i could think of was this giraffe eating leaves and no matter how hard i tried to focus the thought would just. replay#my therapist: what happens if you try to let the thought just play out#me: ........ i dont know but i dont want it to be there at all when im trying to do simple addition in a maths exam#10k#100k
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worried that thing you put in your art or writing or game or music is too self-indulgent, too self-referential, too niche for anyone but yourself? fear not! you can do whatever you want forever. and you should.
#writing#art#music#games#things i have to remind myself of daily#anyway ive found those things you're worried about sharing are often the most powerful things you CAN share#i hope you write#<- i would like to replace that tag with something that is less conversational#it makes reblogs awkward#anyway good morning. i have so many things to do today but instead i am crafting a memorial to my partner's best friend in my fanfiction.
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Ohh look, it's the dead boy detectives!
#it happened again#another pair of neil gaiman's gay men have stolen my heart#this happens too frequently for my liking#no but edwin and charles MY GOD#their relationship is so insanely beautiful#please watch dead boy detectives if you haven't yet I NEED it to be renewed!!#also you're allowed to hit me cos I worked on this instead of working on my final#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives fanart#edwin and charles#painland#chedwin#DBD#my art#fanart#digital art#ghosts#my fanart#illustration
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