#the avenger proceeds to beat his ass

[dragonlover158429]

Paperinik *after being betrayed AGAIN*: I'm gonna beat your ass!

Raider: You sure are talking a lot about my butt, lately.

[were-wolverine]

au where when tim finds dick and asks him to be robin again, dick is like “no but also are you okay?? where are your parents?” and proceeds to adopt/kidnap him

dick sends clark and diana to babysit bruce and tries to dissuade tim from being robin, but he’s a stubborn little shit so blüdhaven gains a new vigilante alongside nightwing (dick won’t let tim be bruce’s robin, not robin in general)

dick isn’t a cop because fuck you dc he would never idgaf what you think it’s wrong and goes against so much of his character!!! i hate cop!dick so much, he isn’t real to me

dick is a part-time college student majoring in human biology and minoring in psychology while training to be a paramedic. tim moves in with him (a small studio apartment) and they forge some records and IDs so tim can go to school in blüdhaven (not that the schools really care)

tim likes to read dick’s college textbooks & notes (if eligible) and spends most of his free time in the library or taking photos across the city. dick is 19 and tim is 14. jack and janet don’t even notice tim is gone

they both have enough to live comfortably but dick only uses his own money (from his parents) and tries to teach tim about like. class differences and how much normal stuff costs (i love timmy but he is a lil rich boy)

dick can cook and clean (which is CANON thank you very much), but his room is basically an organized mess (adhd-ass), while tim is used to needing his room to look perfect and deep cleans like once a week (trauma & he has a touch of the ‘tism)

when dick kills the joker, thinking tim is dead, tim gets to him in time but dick doesn’t let bruce resuscitate him and joker stays dead. this leads to post-pit jason going to blüdhaven instead of gotham.

part of him feels vindicated that his big brother the golden boy killed the clown, but part of him feels like he was replaced by tim. either way it drives him to blüdhaven. he observes nightwing and the new robin for a while, realizing that shit, this robin is just a kid. he can’t hate the new robin for something that’s not even the kid’s fault

he has a mess of complicated emotions about dick, though. again, he’s glad dick avenged him, but is mad he replaced him, and is a better brother to this robin than he was to jason. jason wanted that fun older brother. he got it for a little bit but it wasn’t nearly enough time, and then he fucking died

anyway, this of course leads to a confrontation between red hood & nightwing and robin. jason considers messing with them but decides to just get it over with (so he can yell at dick) and takes off the helmet. dick recognizes him immediately, and tim figures out who he is by dick’s reaction.

queue jason failing to be mad at dick when he starts sobbing and hugging him, and tim jumping in and making it a group hug. they bring him back to their apartment and give jason the guest room (they often have titans friends over), while jason is still like “…what just happened”

him and dick do talk later that night, and dick pretty much tells him everything. jason does the same “so they’re even”

jason goes back to gotham to protect crime alley, he has a couple safe houses set up around the city, but he visits blüdhaven whenever he can. similarly, when dick and tim are free they visit jason in gotham, at his main safe house that only they know about

going back a while, tim is kidnapped by joker while helping bruce with a case in gotham. he goes missing and bruce calls dick to see if he went back to blüdhaven, which he obviously didn’t, and dick speeds to gotham and finds joker, who tells him tim is dead and taunts him about jason. dick beats the joker to death, and doesn’t let bruce revive him, even if he has to live with what he did

after that bruce cuts contact with dick, but tries to stay in contact with tim. tim, however, is pissed at bruce for how he is treating dick and similarly cuts contact with bruce. both boys stay in contact with alfred, though, and sometimes he will update bruce on how they are doing

after jason settles into gotham, he joins dick and tim on one of their visits to alfred (while bruce is away/at work) and gets to reunite with him. alfred agrees to keep red hood’s identity a secret from bruce until jason is ready to tell him, but encourages him to do it soon because bruce misses him terribly

after blüdhaven is destroyed, dick is a wreck, so they move in with jason at his apartment near crime alley. nightwing is out of commission for a while (mentally AND physically) so robin patrols with red hood, who agrees to be as non-lethal as possible around him

dick is in a depressive episode for a while, so jason plays the role of Big Brother to tim (and dick if he’s being honest) until he feels a bit better. he’s actually the best at helping dick when he’s upset (aside from alfred ofc) and forces his ass into therapy with dinah

therapy and spending time with his brothers helps dick a lot, and he manages to force both of them to see therapists as well (not dinah cuz like. bias and legal stuff. but they find some good ones)

jason actually talks to harley sometimes (she’s calmed down a lot since the joker died and she started dating ivy), and she’s stable enough to give him solid advice occasionally. regardless, she’s a great listener and will always let him rant to her

okay flashback time again: when dick was living in titans tower in nyc, he attended college at hudson university. after about a year there, he moved to blüdhaven and transferred to blüdhaven university

tim moves in with him after dick’s been in blüdhaven for a few months. he finishes sophomore year at BU and starts paramedic training, deciding not to return to college. he’s 20 as of March and tim is almost 15

it’s around this time that jason (18) shows up- after dick’s finished sophomore year at BU but before he finishes paramedic training. after blüdhaven is destroyed, dick stops his paramedic training but eventually picks it back up again in gotham

ANYWAY so yeah the three of them share an apartment in park row

dick finishes paramedic training and starts working with gotham emergency services / thomas wayne memorial hospital (leslie’s clinic), and often helps anyone he comes across for free (he always has first aid supplies on hand & their apartment is hella stocked up)

dick and jason also often make meals for nearby homeless shelters (tim would help but he is a terrible cook, instead he manages to trick rich assholes into donating to and funding shelters, food pantries, schools, etc. in park row)

idek where i’m going with this anymore, just the three of them being brothers and visiting alfred. bruce focuses more on damian and cass, but occasionally they will all work together on a case (bruce has given up trying to get any of them- mostly jason- to move back to the manor)

damian and cass will drop by their apartment from time to time, as will alfred. jason, after watching over robin while nightwing was down, has stopped killing (for the most part) and focuses more on community support than beating up criminals

nightwing has become a sort of medic vigilante of sorts, he bounces across the city helping anyone who is injured (mostly abusive victims / those who can’t afford healthcare and are too far from leslie’s clinic to go there / homeless kids who can’t go there without having CPS called / etc)

he mainly patrols park row, but if he has time he will venture further out into the rest of gotham. tim is still robin atp, but he eventually changes his vigilante identity from robin

tim and steph still meet and become friends, but instead of working with batman as spoiler, she works with nightwing, red hood and robin. also, she is never robin, but she is batgirl for a bit

babs is oracle (okay timeline wise idk if she gets shot by joker before or after dick kills him soo i’m just gonna say before) and she helps out both the bats (bruce, dami, cass) and the birds (dick, jay, tim, steph)

steph ends up moving in with babs (who is very excited to have a little sister). this is when babs gives her batgirl, which she eventually (with permission) gives to cass.

sidenote: babs & dick are Best Friends like ride or die and that’s part of the reason dick killed joker- tho he doesn’t tell her that. they see each other all the time (the boys’ apartment building has an elevator) and stay in contact throughout all of this

robin and spoiler meet when the boys move back to gotham, and the two become fast friends. spoiler runs into red hood and robin one time and tim is like “hi S, this is my big brother!” and she’s like “your what.”

once dick is back as nightwing, he meets spoiler as well (who has told them her name is steph atp) and she’s like “i’ve heard all about you from your brothers :)” and dick is like “🥹 really?”

after that the boys tell steph their identities- “didn’t you die?!” “yeah, long story”- and she does the same- “wait is your dad that knockoff riddler guy?” “unfortunately, yeah”- and she crashes at their apartment sometimes after long nights of patrolling

it’s MY au so i say that cass found damian, understood what talia was trying to say when she saw her, and steals lil dami to arrive on bruce wayne’s doorstep. alfred opens the door and she basically shoves damian at him and then runs into the manor and launches herself at a very confused bruce with a hug. bruce is just like ‘okay i guess this is my daughter now’ and then alfred walks in with damian and he’s like ‘…i guess i have another son now too’

this all happens while tim and dick are in blüdhaven and jason is in gotham avoiding bruce like the plague. babs doesn’t tell them because she can be evil sometimes and wants to see their live reactions. imagine their surprise when the boys go to visit alfred and find two assassin children (cass is 19 but shush)

when bruce is lost in time, jace fox takes over as batman while tim, dick and cass go look for him. jason and steph stay and guard gotham and tim gives robin to damian so he can help them (and not go stir crazy without his dad). huntress and the sirens also help out in place of the three vigilantes looking for bruce

they find him faster since there’s three people looking, and everything pretty much goes back to normal after that, aside from jason being damian’s favorite older brother (instead of dick, bc he was never the batman to damian’s robin)

another sidenote: i am totally just ignoring jack and janet drake’s existence bc i don’t wanna deal with them yk? also crystal brown is alive and a decent mom, steph just moved out cuz she wanted more independence

rough age timeline rq

dick is 19 when he kidnaps adopts tim who is 14

jason (18) confronts dick (20) and tim (15)

cass (17) & dami (7) - jay (19), dick (21), tim (16)

blüd destroyed - dick (22), jason (20), tim (17)

tim (17) and steph (17) meet as vigilantes

cass (18) becomes orphan

dick (23) returns to nightwing - jason (21), tim (18)

tim becomes sparrow- robin is put in storage

the boys meet cass (19) & damian (9)

steph (18) moves in w babs (26)

steph becomes batgirl

future timeline

steph (19) gives batgirl to cass (20)

cass (21) becomes black bat

bruce gets lost in time

dick (25) jay (23) & tim (20) give damian (11) robin

[byoldervine]

Unoriginal Writing VS Field Trips

A lot of writers worry that their ideas have been done before or rely too much on existing scenarios. And you absolutely do need to be original if you want to write your own book that you intend to publish professionally. But a lot of writers can also take this the other way and start worrying that every single idea they have, no matter how fleshed out and unique it actually is, is just a version of a very broad and generic trope, and so it’s automatically bad and nobody will ever want to read it since it’s all been done before

Let me tell you about what has been dubbed the Peter Parker Field Trip in the fanfic scene

The Peter Parker Field Trip is an incredibly specific type of one-shot fanfiction about Peter Parker visiting Avengers Tower with his class on a school field trip while having to try and hide his status as the Avenger Spider-Man, usually along with hiding the fact that he’s basically been adopted by the Avengers and they all treat each other as family, if not legally having been adopted by Tony. And this is only the summary, it gets way more specific from here to the point where you can follow each story beat by beat and the vast majority of these fics will follow them:

1. Peter discovers that the adults arranged for him to go on the trip despite trying to get out it/telling them not to sign the permission forms. Peter tries to talk his way out of it on the way but fails. Sometimes the teacher will discourage him from lying about having a Stark Internship while they’re there

2. While they’re on the bus Flash teases Peter about how now everyone’s gonna know he doesn’t actually have a Stark Internship, meanwhile Peter’s freaking out about everyone realising he’s more than just an intern

3. The kids arrive at Avengers Tower and pile out of the bus to be greeted by some of not all of the Avengers, usually with Steve and/or Tony leading the introductions. Peter tries to keep his head down but the Avengers either spot him or were actively looking out for him, but at this point they usually don’t acknowledge him too much

4. An actual intern hands out access passes to the kids, everyone has level one clearance except for Peter who has Level Ten Alpha Clearance™️, which is even higher than most of the other Avengers and is reserved for Tony and those closest to him. Peter asks if he can just get a regular pass like the others but the intern says they don’t have any extras, usually while being starstruck at meeting Peter

5. The kids go through a security scanner, through which Jarvis announces their security clearance. Peter has his Level Ten Alpha Clearance™️ broadcast to the entire class, leaving everyone shocked. Flash thinks Peter, resident Poor Kid McOrphanface, bribed Tony Stark, known billionaire, for higher clearance

6. The tour goes ahead. They meet Bruce either in his lab or the medical bay. Bruce has a pleasant chat with Peter, who quickly helps him with something while he’s there. People are shocked that Peter works with Bruce on science stuff

7. The tour goes ahead. They meet Natasha in the training room. She offers to give a demonstration and has Peter come up to fight her. The class are shocked when he doesn’t get instantly thrown on his ass, even though overall it usually ends with him on his ass

8. The tour goes ahead. They meet Thor either on the landing pad as he arrives back home or he’s in the kitchen making an absolute mountain of pop tarts. He’s the one that comes closest to leaking Peter’s Spider-Man identity because he has no social awareness and just wants to wrap the Man of Spiders in a bear hug

9. The class break for lunch. There’s an ungodly amount of coffee machines in the cafeteria. Everyone is talking about Peter. Flash is talking shit. Clint then proceeds to drop out of the vents to ask Peter about either Mario Kart or babysitting his kids, potentially both. Clint then realises the tour was today, apologises and goes back into the vents. Peter can’t even muster up the energy to be embarrassed

10. As the tour continues, Flash is getting more vocal about his dislike for all this. There’s a 50/50 chance he’s going to get physically violent with Peter. If he doesn’t, he’ll ask Tony Stark why he’s let Peter lie about all this stuff only to be told harshly that Peter is Tony’s kid or something similar. The bullying will be discovered and Flash will be kicked out. If he does get violent with Peter, one of the Avengers will stop him, Tony will defend Peter while revealing that Peter is his kid or something similar in the process, then will kick Flash out

I just described to you an ungodly number of fics beat by beat. And people don’t just read one of them and call it a day; we consume each and every one of them despite knowing the exact plot and having read it a gazillion times

And I think that these fics are the most obvious example of the fact that people don’t care about the repeated use of tropes or clichés or plotlines; if they like it, they’ll like it. They’ll be willing to read those tropes a million times over, even if they know what’ll happen at every turn. And that proves that it’s not the use of tropes that matters, it’s the way you use the tropes. Even if it’s just a new way of wording it, people will enjoy it. It doesn’t have to be completely new or original, it just has to be out there

[gloriouspower]

Hey can you write natasha x reader with the prompts 23, 32, 33, 39 thanks

A/n : it's smutt y'all minors stay the fuck away , alright? I gave my warning so let's proceed

Show me ✯

Pairing : Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary : our sweetheart nat gets jelly over a man flirting with us, so she takes matters in her own hands

Mine 🖤

Warning : smutt, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, jealousy, soft dom nat, sub reader, established relationship.

Word count : 1.5k not proof read.

Note : I'm so sorry for taking this long, my laptop broke and I had to get it fixed so so sorry, here I completed this so fast my god 😭

"word" - dialogue

I sat by the counter with a glass of negroni in my hand while this man, who's name i forgot long ago, kept blabbering in front of me, i needed more than just negroni to deal with this good for nothing shit bag, i sighed internally and gave him a smile on whatever he was talking about, why was I doing this? Well being the caretaker of Avengers came with pros and cons and this was being a HUGE con in my ass.

After pepper stepped up as the stark industries CEO, i interviewed for the caretaker replacement and to my pure shock i got it, it's been 5 years after that, now I'm stuck here in another extravagant tony stark Saturday party he hosts, which i absolutely hate but organize it for him anyway, if i remember vaguely, this man was talking about sponsorship and in any way do we need sponsors right now, because i didn't wanted to come off rude i sat talking to him, which , right now, is giving me a migraine in my right temple.

"So you see, that was my idea, and maybe we can discuss some more about this tomorrow at coffee? My treat " he said smirking, placing his hand on mine, i pulled back but he held it strongly and i was getting uncomfortable, he had made several advances in the "5 minutes" he requested from me, that turned out to be an hour, but i declined them all, and was about to do it again but someone beat me to it "I'm quite sure, she said no multiple times before or are you specially deaf for the word 'no'?" Relief instantly floods in me as i hear Natasha speak, God did i want to get out of here, he looked scared for a moment before he speaks out of pure idiocy "i was asking her, and i don't take no for an answer, so i do not see why you are interfering in between us" and he had the audacity to slip his arm past my waist, i recoiled back, pushing him away but natasha didn't hold back and punched him in the face, that idiot fell to the ground, hitting his head on the hard floor, stumbling to stand up, blood ran down his nose as he blabbered " you bitch, how dare you! Do you know who I am? Fucking bitch" nat just rolled her eyes " i don't give half a fuck who you are, touch my girlfriend again and i won't just stop at a punch" with that she grabbed my wrist, pulling me away, the crowd was staring at the scene we just made, that included tony, who was giving nat thumbs up.

The crowd parted for us and by the time we got to the stairs, nat threw me over her shoulder as i awkwardly smiled at the onlookers, tony was laughing his ass off, when we finally got to our room, she placed me on our bed while looking down at me, i pouted " you didn't have to punch him you know?" She scoffed at that. I propped myself up on my elbows. "I didn't like the way he was staring at you" I laughed as she went to grab something from the cupboard " how do you know?" She turned around trying to form words but nothing came out "umm.. I was looking" It sounded more like a question than an answer but then it hit me and I gasped loudly " were you checking me out?" Her denials fell on deaf ears as I gushed over her, finally I spoke coherent words "were you jealous?" She rolled her eyes at that but i didn't let it fool me, she was jealous, when he was making those advances, heat rushed to my cheeks and southwards as it gave me a weird thrill, she finally replied, pulling me close to her, she already changed into different clothes while i was still in my black cocktail dress " so what? Nobody looks at what's mine in a wrong way, let alone touch you" I blushed, she leaned down kissing the base of my throat, automatically her hand traveling down to my hips. "Oh yeah?" My voice came out much breathier than expected, she cocked an eyebrow up, a devilish smile forming on her face " show me you're mine" and as if on command my hips bucked against hers, she crashed her lips against mine, as ecstasy shot through me.

Nats nimble fingers untied the knots of my dress, pulling down the zip in one fluid motion while her mouth left trails of hickies blooming on my neck, her other hand gathering the fabric of my dress up and pulling down my very soaked panties down, her smirk was almost unbearable to me, i would have scoffed at her if i wasn't squirming under her form for more, my eyes fluttered shut as she slid two digits down my folds, back arching while she teased my entrance, my skin felt hot, sweat forming on my forehead, the dress sticking to my skin, so i took it off completely, leaving my bare body with just the bra on, she tsked "so impatient, huh?" But my mind was already fogged so without saying another word i pulled her in for a kiss, i moaned into the kiss when her fingers finally left the rim and entered completely, i went to grab her side but the shirt she was wearing got in between, frustrated i pulled it off her, she didn't care one bit, keeping the pace steady, pumping her fingers in and out at an agonizingly slow pace, I bucked my hips to get more friction but she stopped entirely, fingers stilling inside me , I whimpered as she said "do not move till I say so, I will let you come when I want you too" her fingers regaining the speed but still not fast enough and I was left blubbering mess beneath her.

»»————-　☠　————-««

Clothes were scattered on the floor long ago, my screams and moans filled our room, if it weren't for the sound proofing, the media would be outside our door by now. I clutched onto her Ruby hair, as she glided her tongue up my slit, sending shivers down my spine, my legs thrown over her shoulder, her nose brushing over my sensitive clit, I was close to my edge, just another push and I'll be tumbling down, the knot in my stomach too tight, i groaned tugging on her hair "nat please" she just tutted against my cunt "you wanted this, now it's either you take what i give you or nothing at all" I whimpered, knowing she'd do just what she said, if I didn't comply, my mind was a mush, her skilled tongue lapping up my juices like a starved man but she did not give me the release, pulling back just enough to leave me groveling for her to go further, hands clamped on my thighs, she sucked on my clit and my back arched in response, my delirious mind swirling in thoughts of nothing but her hands on me, her kitten licks pushing towards the edge yet again, this time i didn't tell her, i was desperate to cum, i needed to but as if she knew what i was doing, she pulled back completely, my hand immediately flying to pull her back but she chuckled, her mouth smothered with my juices as she licked it off her lips.

She climbed on top of me, grinding her hips against mine, stimulating me more and more , my head rolled back , eyes scrunched shut, breathing labored but she had other plans , leaning down near the shell of my ear , her breath tickling me she said " say that you're mine, say it and I'll give you what you need, sweetheart" I whimpered, as quickly as I could I said " I'm yours, please, I'm all yours" she smirked, all the while teasing my entrance with her fingers, finally pumping into me, her fingers skillfully scissoring me inside, brushing my g-spot with every hit, and in no time I was coming on her fingers, the slick gushing out, smearing the already dirty bed sheets, I heaved, riding down my high, as she laid beside me chuckling and licking her fingers, I turned around and buried my face in her chest, her arms enveloping me, she caressed my hair lightly, kissing my forehead, giving me a break from before but before I could even process what's happening she pinned me down again, her voice rough "I'm not done with you just yet" and right then I knew I won't be getting any sleep tonight….

© god-of-mischiefs 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐚𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬

A/n : if you want to be tagged let me know in the comments ☺️

[themculibrary]

Banter Masterlist

Accepting Publicity (ao3) - xmypandabear pepper/tony G, 4k

Summary: "Pro tip: saying it's nothing only makes someone more curious," he leant his hip against the nearby table, mind already doing the math and coming to an unsettling conclusion. "Kid, don't tell me you were at the 2010 Expo."

The kid opened his mouth, shut it, then said, "Is this like the whole, 'don't do anything I would and wouldn't do' or...?"

"Jesus."

//

The one where Tony doesn't believe he's a hero and can't handle having it thrown in his face, Pepper is Tony's Big Damn Hero and Peter is asked to help start Iron-Man's social media accounts (and is probably a hero, but that's irrelevant right now).

Bless this Ink and Our Souls (ao3) - Akira_of_the_Twilight bucky/clint/steve/tony T, 5k

Summary: Steve and Tony venture to Nelson & Murdock, Attorneys at Law to bless the ink that they will need for their protection spell.

Things get heated between Steve and Tony, and Matt Murdock reveals a secret of Tony's that leaves Steve stunned.

Clint Barton or, Why Hawkeye Should Be Renamed Captain Sexy Pants (ao3) - QuirkyChick clint/phil, steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: For the Avenger Kink Meme on LJ.

“Clint is voted sexiest man alive in some trashy woman’s magazine. The team proceeds to mock him mercilessly.”

Come on Closer (ao3) - Epiphanyx7 steve/tony E, 4k

Summary: [[... porn.]]

Or, the one where Steve wants to talk to Tony about something important.

Fighting, Flyting, Flaunting, Flirting (ao3) - Redring91 loki/tony M, 9k

Summary: -

“What’s flyting?”

“Tis a form of verbal battle performed in the courts of Asgard, where opponents trade insults in verse.” Thor explains.

“Offensive poetry?” Tony clarifies, because that sounds awesome.

Thor nods. “Loki was by far the best skilled at it – it was not for nothing he came to be known as Silvertongue. He ceased competing in official matches after a time though. He deemed there were none on Asgard who could claim to be a worthy match for his attentions.” Thor levels a thoughtful look towards Tony at this.

“So, you’re saying that Tony derailed the fight because Loki enjoys it when they’re insulting each other?” Clint says slowly.

Thor gives a rather helpless shrug. “Loki has always enjoyed flyting.”

-

hand over your heart (ao3) - cherryvanilla clint/phil, steve/tony M, 7k

Summary: If a top secret file on Phil Coulson and Clint Barton's relationship existed, it would look something like this.

NOT Just Married (ao3) - relenafanel steve/bucky M, 7k

Summary: Also known as the feel-good fluffy ficlet relenafanel promised after the end-credit scene of new Bucky feels from hell... Because I have your back and know you need recovery comedic AUs about BFFs being dumb in Vegas.

Stuck With You (Seriously?) (ao3) - Jaune_Chat steve/tony E, 2k

Summary: Steve and Tony are drugged, captured, and wake up in a very compromising position. There's really only one way out. Sex.

In other news, Tony thinks the Avengers need better villains. ;)

This Wasn't What the Brochure Promised (ao3) - kahn steve/tony T, 7k

Summary: "Do you think this is still a training exercise, or did we just get our asses handed to us by actual bad guys?" asked Clint.

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

Three Men in a VW (ao3) - Brokenpitchpipe steve/bucky T, 3k

Summary: Steve steps back into the car and closes the door, lips still tingling.

“You don’t like blondes,” Bucky says.

Sam chokes.

Who we are (ao3) - reclusiveq steve/bucky G, 3k

Summary: When Bucky comes home beat up, Steve is left to wonder why. His search for an answer will reveal a truth his friend may not be ready to share.

you and your high top sneakers and your sailor tattoos (ao3) - victoria_p (musesfool) darcy/steve M, 5k

Summary: In which Darcy Lewis punches Captain America's v-card. Yeah, she can't believe it either.

You're My World (ao3) - Teddy1008 sam/bucky E, 6k

Summary: “I… oh, I get it now.” Sam tilted his head, perceptive as ever, goddammit. “All this flirting with my sister, that was just to get my attention, wasn’t it? I know it was. Say it.”

“That wasn’t—” Bucky croaked, but Sam wasn’t having it.

He huffed a low laugh, and bulldozed right through Bucky’s feeble pretense. “You like it when I pin you against the wall? Take away all that power you have, that strength that your arm gives you? Make you feel small, maybe?”

your will is not your own (ao3) - Merideath darcy/steve E, 6k

Summary: Agent Lewis is sent to collect Captain Rogers from the wilds of Alaska. A snowstorm is brewing and Darcy's ride abandons them to the elements... or a tiny log cabin. She's pretty sure she watched that movie. It didn't end well.

[heightsofmadness]

This is something I think about a lot. Like, an unreasonable amount. I agree with all of this - any power that is consistent within its own setting will only be OP within a certain context. Some of those contexts are much more broad than others, but it's still never limitless, and character growth can happen outside of that.

One Punch Man is a perfect example. The main character's power is literally that he can't lose fights. He can't even be challenged in fights. Which is a problem in his mind, because by his own admission he's "a hero for fun," and fighting isn't fun anymore. But that's okay, because the actual plot isn't about fighting - yes, fighting happens within the plot, but that's not what it's about any more than Sam Raimi Spider-man 2 is about pizza delivery - because One Punch Man's plot is about learning to be a hero. It's about having the power, but needing to learn the responsibility.

For all of Season 1, Saitama (the protagonist) has been showing up to fights when all seems lost, delivering a single anticlimax punch, and then leaving while muttering about grocery prices or something. He doesn't check on the people who may have been hurt, he doesn't rebuild, he does nothing to endear himself to the people he's supposed to be hero-ing for. And this comes to a head in the Sea King arc, where this unstoppable ocean-guy spends an episode and a half just plowing through superhero teams one after another. Eventually it's just a shelter of innocent civilians, and the Sea King, and the very last superhero standing between them. Mumen Fucking Rider.

Mumen Rider's "power" is that he owns a bicycle. That's it. He is, in theory, a joke character. In practice, he's the opposite of Saitama - he has never won a single fight in the show's history, but he's so ridiculously fucking heroic that you love him for trying anyway. He shows up to the Sea King fight with a "Justice Crash" - transitioning his power into "guy who used to own a bicycle" - and proceeds to get his ass beat by a 12-foot-tall fishman who could probably no-sell the entire Avengers. And then Mumen Rider gets back up. Because if he goes down, there's nobody left. He can't win, but he's risking everything for these people just to buy them a little more time.

And it works. He stalls Sea King long enough that Saitama shows up. Saitama punches a hole in the monster so hard that it stops raining(?) and that's the end of it.

It's such a drastic change that the innocent bystanders don't really know what to make of it. Eventually the consensus seems to be "Wow, maybe that monster wasn't very strong after all, if this nobody could one-shot him like that. I guess all those heroes that lost to him were super weak actually."

This is Saitama's moment of character growth, because yes, he can punch out Cthulu, but he can't punch out the court of public opinion. He saw Mumen Rider nearly sacrifice himself to save all these strangers now turning on him. So Saitama decides to sacrifice his reputation.

He starts talking loudly about how lucky he is that he arrived just in time to take all the credit, how all those heroes NEARLY beat the Sea King and Saitama was just able to get the last it in. Like Godzilla is a fucking pickle jar that Mumen Rider loosened for him or something. The narrative shifts - those heroes weren't weak, Saitama is just a cheater. How dare he steal the credit for all those hardworking heroes who fought to protect the innocent, even though they knew they might not come out unscathed!

That's the moment of growth. Saitama winning or losing was never up for debate, but the fallout was, and in making a sacrifice (his own reputation, possibly forever) he earned the victory (preserving the reputation of the people who were actually brave). It's the single most selfless thing he's done in the series at that point, possibly in the entire show. It's somehow more heroic than every single doomsday-aversion-punch he's done combined, because he stepped outside his area of expertise, he took a risk, he made a sacrifice, and the only thing he could get out of it was for someone else's benefit. That's character growth.

(anyway the season ends with him fighting Evil Goku, which is flashy but irrelevant for story purposes, and then Season 2 seems to forget that this type of character growth actually matters and it's generally agreed only S1 is worth watching, so... QED)

From a writing standpoint, do you think it's *possible* for a character to have a seemingly "story-breaking" power and still be well-written and interesting and fit into the plot without, well, story-breaking?

Sure. Story-breaking powers are entirely relative to the story they're in, because by their nature they can only break certain kinds of stories, and beyond that, the power is conditional to the character and personality of the person using it, who may be entirely unwilling to use it in certain ways.

An example: teleportation is one of the most notorious story-breaking powers. It breaks any story where the character conflict is influenced by the characters needing to get to a specific location. Writers usually mitigate this effect by limiting it in one of a few ways-

The teleporter can't go anywhere they haven't already been (only breaks the story if they aren't trying to go somewhere new)

The teleporter can only go somewhere they can see (only breaks the story if they need to go somewhere close)

The teleporter has a certain amount of juice that they can burn through by bamfing too many times in a row or with too many passengers (only breaks the story if they only need to make a small number of easy jumps to succeed at their task)

The teleporter can't take anyone with them (only breaks the story if they're navigating alone)

The teleporter maintains momentum when they jump (can be rendered unusable if they're moving dangerously fast)

There's plenty of other ways to do it. This approach limits the feasibility of the power, so while it's still storybreaking, it only breaks the story under specific circumstances that are easy for a writer to avoid. Any power will have a set of problems it can solve effortlessly just by its nature, and thus any story whose primary conflict is one of those problems will find the power story-breaking - but every power also has problems it can't solve, so the writer just needs to present the character with challenges that their story-breaking power has no impact on.

There's also the character personality approach. A power can be as OP as the writer wants and it still won't break the story if the wielder has no interest in using it to do so. There's lots of ways to do this, too.

The super OP character literally doesn't care about the protagonist's struggles and will not participate unless somehow forced

The super OP character is a mentor more interested in the protagonist's personal growth than they are in solving their problems for them, and will only intervene if it's life or death

The super OP character's power is capable of incredible destructive violence, but their compassionate and/or pacifistic leanings cause them to dramatically limit their use of it to avoid hurting people

The super OP character doesn't understand the full nature of their abilities and can't use a lot of them on purpose, and the potential consequences of messing up and unleashing something devastating make them reluctant to experiment

The super OP character's power goes from 0 to 100 with no in-between and cannot be used to solve anything that requires any finesse

The super OP character deals with an antagonist who is super OP in the exact same way

The super OP character is deeply unlikable and the protagonists just really can't stand getting their help

The super OP character doesn't like their powerset (gross side effects, doesn't fit their aesthetic, hurts to use, innately evil or drawn from an evil source, reminds them of bad times, etc) and refuses to use it unless they have to

There's a lot of flexibility here, too. The only power that can truly break any story is "the writer says I win now," and it's the writer's job to avoid using that one at all costs.

[the-firebird69]

Watch "DMX - Party Up (Up In Here) (Enhanced Video, Edited)" on YouTube

Dave is a gigantic Giant so why wouldn't the huge giants have been seen cooking Tommy F ass beat him and his

Zues

I don't know why they say these things but they keep saying them I keep telling them it was too hard and we don't know what happened to them and you guys should know and yeah the skull is like the size the George was 20 miles roughly I had to tell you that's been there for a while no just sent back nobody could ever find it and here we go there's a huge number of people looking at and tonight The avengers is coming full eclipse of Jupiter I had a great meeting two meetings and we're going to have a third and then a final meeting and is going to start and we're going to get together and work today is a huge day so many of these goofballs are out and people have to get to work right away it's incredible

He thinks me very much for the help and I thank him LOL

Hera

We have a huge deal going on today no two first was China and it was not surprising he approached us the other day and he said don't tell him no we didn't tell him no he probably wanted to look at the details but okay you know we're doing. And the other deal is about construction the civil today and their business and we're getting the final notice to proceed shortly and sent a second provisional and inspected a whole bunch of buildings and we're now at 99% so a few minutes ago he said you should send everything in 100% And we did and get a huge number of people. Right now he says adequate as well as 100% is a couple punch lists in a small items and nothing would hold the seal off. I am in receipt of the final notice to proceed it signed and we thank them and we called our son so he would know and he thanks them and he calls him son and he says okay and uncle Mac and even watch out for that brother of mine. And everything went huge makes sense and he gets it now so they're having problems and they need help and they have to go to someone and they're going to each other. And it sends it the last part and Max said the first part of this sentence. It's true though a huge day today this projects are huge and we are getting ready and we shall get back to a few statements in a moment

Thor Freya

It's very appropriate these are giant projects and they're huge and there's tons of them they're going over our list of retailers and where and renovations of retailers and wholesalers and food places too water treatment and that kind of thing and he's asking me now about priority projects and we have an issue with infrastructure electrical and some other stuff that could be a big big issue even the wall idea so we're going to go over emergency stuff here in Florida and while they're here we may break off some to start work on massive emergency projects and he may come down here with more of us and others and massive Force to do it and we're going to have a meeting today us Max and then he suggested meeting tonight at The event center and refreshments and sleeping area or nap area and desks and everything will be moved into offices we need to think about this this could be an issue so we are going to do that and the event center is not set up 100% but we're going to go do that and they're going to send cruise down but right now it's it's an emergency we're having with the warlock and we're going to have a meeting on that and we'll probably grow the meeting on emergency construction structures in other emergencies at the event center it's military stuff we talked about that ourselves but we will talk about structures and things sit there probably end up ending up building so going right now and right now but we think our grand nephew here for his input it's like some sort of a guy who gets everybody going says he has to it's like his dad he gets people going to get him out of bed. And Hera is laughing thankfully. And yeah retail centers will be nice and we're working on funds and his idea is good is that a ton of ideas it says that he thinks it came from Terry cheesman and it's true his people say they did a little bit yes it's not a bad thing but we have some losses and we need to review what's going on here and he's a major problem that guy Tommy f and we have some structural problems around here and other areas because of him and we need to look at them and pretty soon too so people are going to go ahead and do that too

So we had a great meeting and we did sign the notice to proceed there's a lot of projects that people have been asking about that are go if you are a competent Mac or semi-competent or out of commission and want to slowly get back to it by doing a flagman job a couple hours a day and getting the right food because you have money please report to duty if you're in Florida or nearby a few states away we do need assistance and help and we want you back and we want the structure near you fixed odds are it's going to be on it's on the list cuz that's a lot and within those 200,000 or like several Bridges each each area so we need you to answer the call

Mac daddy

I second the motion for all mine and all the other clans are requested to do so please

Ben Arnold

We approved this message to go out

Olympus

[thefandomchaos]

Peter Parker field trip fics follow the same trope-

Tony either organized the trip or had no idea it was Peter’s. Peter gets it sign by either him or May. Flash is 10x meaner and more of a asshole than MCU Flash actually is (MCU flash calls him names and his actual a chill dude in NWH so I honestly don’t hate him) and MJ tells him off on the bus to the fieldtrip (Adding to this- Peter was either staying at May’s, or at the tower adding the “went to school to go back” trope) and MJ is only excited to meet Pepper and Ned is excited to meet everyone even tho his apperantly already met them. When they get to the Tower they meet up with the tour person who Peter may know and then they explained the security badges they now apparently have (and theres 50/50 chance that the highest badge is own by only Tony, Pepper, Happy and a “mystery person” who would be Peter or the highest is the Avengers. Anyway- Peter has the highest badge) and when Peter passes through and Friday outs him everybody stares at in shock and Chad Flash ask if he bribed someone or did something sexual with someone (which is just so gross people wtf) and then they make their way to a exhibit which they apparently have and Ned and Peter find the spiderman one which reveals Peter is actually afraid of spiders (I love that HC tho-) and theres a 50/50 chance that one of the Avengers will show up to embarrassed Peter, it may be Clint who was hiding in the vents or Natasha which we will proceed to get the iconic “мама паук” and “паучок”. Flash will again ask Peter how he knows them. They will proceed to the labs to meet up with Bruce and have robot building competition in which Peter, Ned and MJ team up and win because obviously. And through the way Peter will meet up with more of his Avenger family. At some point they will meet up at a gym with other Avengers (mostly Steve, Sam, Bucky, Wanda and sometimes Natasha) and they will ask Peter to train with them because nobody cares about keeping his identity a secret. After Peter proceed to shock all his classmates theres a 50/50 chance that Chad Flash will ask to train and get his ass beat. This is normally followed by a “Lunch” moment or them going to meet Tony (either @ his lab or meet and greet) if it’s lunch, then Flash and Peter will get into a fight and a Avengers may walk in. and if it’s meeting with Tony, Flash will ask if “High-Schoolers” can have interships and when Tony proceed to say no (even though he should remember Peter’s cover is in fact THAT HE DOES- ) Chad Flash will insult Peter and call him a liar and IronDad will get mad, insult/threaten Flash and his parents, telling his teacher what’s the point in Peter going back and they all live happily ever after without questioning the consequences of everything-

[recurring-polynya]

Once again, I am thinking about the dubious claim that people make from time to time that Renji would have gotten better character development in the TYBW arc if Byakuya had died. The thing is, though, that Renji did get excellent character development in this arc, particularly with respect to his relationship to Byakuya, it was just very subtle and I want to talk about it.

So, the first thing I want to point out is that the captain-lieutenant relationships is one of the major themes of the TYBW. A lot of this is sort of weird and awkward, but this is perfect, actually, because captain-lieutenant relationships are, for the most part, weird and clunky and awkward. Take for example, the part that I always make fun of, where the captains are told not to go to bankai, and Hitsugaya, Komamura, Byakuya and Soi Fon immediately go to bankai-- but they all do this on the assumption that they are luring their opponent into a trap to see how this works, and that their lieutenant will somehow ??defeat them anyway?? (well, except Soi Fon who seems to think she can one-shot her Quincy). There’s Sasakibe’s funeral, where we find out that Yamamoto cared far more for him than we ever imagined. Kyouraku returns Nanao’s zanpakutou to her and stands behind her as she defeats an opponent he can't. Iba carries Komamura’s body off of the battlefield as he loses the last of his humanity. Isane struggles to keep her head above her grief because that’s the burden Unohana left her with. Rose avenging Kira. Hitsugaya and Matsumoto fighting and (sort of) dying together. The Zaraki-Yachiru thing. The Mayuri-Nemu thing. Momo and Shinji actually got to have a relatively normal one, which they each deserved, but at least they got to have normal one together. Anyway, that could be an entire essay, but as usual, I only want to talk about Renji and Byakuya.

Renji’s introduction as a character happens in stages. Initially, he sort of appears to be Byakuya’s sidekick-- he's here to do the dirty work during Rukia’s arrest, while Byakuya stands by and calls the shots, but even early on, it’s clear that Renji’s a little hung up on Byakuya. He’s trying to impress him, and gets more embarrassed and self-conscious as things go progressively pear-shaped. When Byakuya finally enters the action, Renji’s thought bubbles reveal that he’s watched Byakuya for a long time, that he knows all his moves. When we get the Renji backstory reveal a few issues later, we learn that Renji’s goal is to defeat Byakuya, which he seems to feel is necessary to seeing Rukia again, even though there has never been any sort of causal link revealed between these two things. Don’t get me wrong, if Young Academy Renji had tried to continue to be friends with Rukia, I think Byakuya would have kicked him out on his ass, but it’s clear that a lot of Renji’s hang-ups are internal-- he doesn’t want to face Rukia again until he can stand against Byakuya. I think the origin of this is that he simply wants what’s best for Rukia, and he can’t stomach the idea of asking her to leave her rich, noble family for him, unless, of course, he’s somehow better than Byakuya in some dimension, and the only thing Renji’s ever considered himself good at is fighting.

Even more interesting is that he’s chosen to go about this by... studying the man’s every move and becoming his lieutenant. But for as much energy as Renji has put into learning Byakuya’s favorite combat moves, he doesn’t actually know anything about him as a person. He’s shocked when Rukia predicts that Byakuya won’t lift a finger to help her, and then horrified when this actually comes to pass. A few chapters later, as he’s running Hinamori through, Aizen comments that “Adoration is the state furthest from understanding.” I would probably classify Renji’s feelings towards Byakuya more as admiration or idolization, rather than adoration, but I think this statement is also very true of Renji and Byakuya’s relationship. Unlike poor Momo, Renji gets a little more time and opportunity to do something with this information. With a little Ichigo-forced soul searching, he realizes that he’s not going to come out the hero of this story no matter what, but if he doesn’t do something, Rukia’s not going to come out of this story at all, and even if he’s not really ready, he’s spent 40 years trying to figure out how to beat Kuchiki Byakuya, let’s hope all that was good for something.

The Byakuya-Renji fight has no direct impact on the events of the Soul Society Arc. It makes Byakuya show up to Rukia’s execution 5 minutes late and without his scarf. Renji gets healed, so it really doesn’t matter all that much to him, either. You could argue that they both wasted a bunch of energy (that they could have used to fight Aizen later) but it’s primarily a character-driven moment of them both drawing lines in the sand about where they stand, vis a vis Rukia. Byakuya wins this fight, and he wins it handily, but he’s wrong, as he comes to realize a few issues later, when Ichigo kicks his ass and tells him he’s a bad brother, a lesson that Byakuya will take to heart for the rest of the manga. Byakuya claims that the difference between Renji and himself is class, but the real difference between is the heart, and in the long run, Renji is the real victor of this fight.

The hospital scene is an interesting footnote to this. Byakuya defeated Renji, but Byakuya was the asshole and everyone knows it. There’s an expectation that perhaps Renji will quit or perhaps Renji will give him an earful and perhaps even Rukia will choose to leave the family, either to go to the Living World or to be with Renji (and Byakuya would deserve this), but instead, both Renji and Rukia give Byakuya another chance, which is not, I think, a place Renji ever expected to be.

Rukia and Byakuya building up a sibling relationship after this is fairly straightforward (although I’m sure it had its weird moments), but Byakuya and Renji now have this profoundly awkward relationship where Byakuya is obviously in charge, but he sort of depends on Renji as a personal compass because he’s shit at dealing with people and he doesn’t want to screw stuff up with Rukia again. Take for example, the part of the Hueco Mundo arc where Orihime is kidnapped and Rukia and Renji desert their posts to come help rescue her. Kubo takes to the panel-space to tell us that Byakuya has tacitly approved this. As a clan head and a captain, a person who is entrenched in the hierarchy of Soul Society, Byakuya couldn’t possibly go to Hueco Mundo-- but he can turn a blind eye while his sister and lieutenant scurry out through the Kuchiki family senkaimon. Renji, for his part, tried to go to Hueco Mundo through official channels and got shot down. We don’t know what Renji would have done if Byakuya had explicitly forbidden him from going, but it doesn’t matter-- Byakuya enabled Renji to follow his heart here, because Byakuya can’t. Rukia would have gone to Hueco Mundo regardless. She cares about Byakuya, but she doesn’t depend on him for validation the way Renji does.

I said this was going to be about the TYBW, so let’s get to that. Early in the arc, we’re shown several scenes where it’s clear that Byakuya respects and values Renji as a lieutenant, but he’s also pretty damn patronizing to him. Renji is the first one to engage As Nodt, and when Byakuya shows up, he acts surprised that Renji hasn’t taken him out yet, but then proceeds to take over the fight (real, “stand back, fives, an eleven has arrived” energy). After Byakuya then loses his bankai like a doofus, Renji wants to take point so that Byakuya can figure out As Nodt’s attack and Byakuya won’t let him... and then proceeds to get thrashed.

This has to be one of the most emotionally charged fights in Bleach. Byakuya is losing, and Renji jumps in, absolutely incensed that As Nodt would use Senbonzakura against Byakuya. Renji isn’t doing great, but he’s not doing terrible when Byakuya gets up and tries to help Renji, even though he’s a big bloody mess. As Nodt reacts by shredding Byakuya into chunks, and Renji just loses it, and if Mask de Masculine hadn’t shown up and kicked him halfway across the Seireitei, I daresay Renji would have killed himself trying to take down As Nodt.

This is where I usually make the point that if Byakuya had died to here, it would have broken Renji into little pieces, but that’s not today’s essay. Instead, everyone goes to the Royal Realm, and by virtue of the fact that Byakuya is injured worse than everyone else, Renji has to go forward without him or his approval.

In typical Renji fashion, the thing that motivates Renji here is not glory or heroism, but the desire to accompany Ichigo, the need to be with his friends in their times of trial. In fact his companionship here is absolutely essential-- at Hikifune’s, Ichigo expresses deep doubts that he’s doing the right thing, and Renji reminds himself that if he wants to protect others, he has to take care of himself first.

At Nimaiya’s however, Renji and Ichigo are split up because they must follow their own paths. The other extremely interesting thing that happens here is that Renji’s sword is reforged. Byakuya shattered one of Hihio Zabimaru’s joints the very first time Renji used them in combat. Renji brushed it off at the time, saying that he could get by without it. Even though Byakuya has long been his motivating force and his mentor, he’s also been held back by his connection to him. And at this point, it’s gone.

I really wish we got to see where Renji and Rukia meet up again, but we don’t. Unlike with Ichigo, though, Rukia doesn’t seem to need anything from Renji. They travel together, fight together as equals, wear matching outfits, like you do. Oh. Wait. After all this time, in the 493 chapters between Needless Emotions and Blue Stripes, Renji can finally see himself as an equal to Rukia. They get. bankai. Together.

I want to emphasize that it’s not really anything about Rukia herself that allowed Renji to make bankai, it’s the fact that he’s finally managed to move past the feeling that he’s not enough. Defeating Byakuya would not actually have solved this problem, and having Byakuya dying in front of him wouldn’t have either. Renji gets criticized for losing a lot of his fights, but that’s such a key to his character. He’s not always the strongest, he doesn’t always win, but he keeps fighting for what he cares about. He struggles with his need for approval, for external validation, but Renji is at his best when he doesn’t have time to think about that, when he’s just fighting by his friends’ sides against impossible odds, doing what he knows in his heart is right.

I think people tend to make a little more than is strictly necessary of the line where he tells Mask that he’s “a villain”, I think he’s most just making fun of Mask’s own self-aggrandizement. On another level, though, this is just Renji being at ease with himself. Byakuya typically enters a fight bloviating about the honor of Soul Society and “how dare you raise your sword against me, the 28th Head of the Kuchiki” and even Ikkaku had the whole deal about telling people your name before you kill them, but Renji is more like “you beat up my friends, so I’m gonna break your face,” like there’s no ego in it, just you’re there, and he’s there, and then you’re lying on the ground and he’s taking a nap somewhere. This is so different than the insecure, posturing young man he was at the start of this series and I love this growth for him.

Even after he eventually meets up with Byakuya again, something has changed about their dynamic. The group gets split up and rejoined two or three times, and Renji and Rukia always stay together while Byakuya ends up fighting alongside others, Hisagi and later Hitsugaya and Zaraki. This is cemented in their last scene together, where Rukia and Renji try to stay with Byakuya and he sends them off to fight with Ichigo by saying “your help is not needed here.” In some ways, it’s an echo of Byakuya sending them off to Hueco Mundo, but in other ways, it’s acknowledging that they are their own people, not just an extension of him.

Hitsugaya follows it up with this:

There’s more here than meets the eye, though-- Byakuya and Renji have maintained a pretty strict superior-subordinate relationship, because that’s the easiest way for them to make sense of the world, but the fact is, they do care about each other and are important to one another.

I know there would be a certain narrative satisfaction in seeing Renji make captain at the end-- he’s one of the hardest working people in Bleach, and it frankly seems weird to see Iba get the haori when he doesn’t. But Renji has never wanted to be a captain. Renji becoming captain would, in some ways, be a failure. He spends years pre-canon chasing rank and prestige because that’s what he thinks will make him worthy, and it didn’t. Instead, he found worth in being himself, in loving his friends and being there for them, in learning things from Byakuya and teaching him things in return. Renji doesn’t need to be Byakuya’s lieutenant anymore, he just does it because he likes it. It makes him happy. What better character development is there than that?

[peachbear88]

So This is Love (Pt 2)

You squint, the burning sunrise filtering through your eyelids as they fly open. You take out your earphone, your right ear burning from keeping it in all night. "Good god." You groan, stretching freely until your arm hits another body as you turn to find Wanda Maximoff asleep, wrapped in a fluffy plaid blanket. "Holy shi-" You exclaim, toppling off the chair and hitting the floor with a loud thump before cursing for being so loud and clumsy. She twitched, seemingly realising that there was more space on the couch and stretched out, filling the rest of the couch with her sleeping body. You slowly stood up, admiring her sleeping face. It was angelic, as opposed to her waking face, her eyes constantly haunted by the ghosts of her brother and parents. You reached out a hand to push away a stray lock of hair only for her eyes to snap open, grabbing your wrist and twisting it as you scream in agony. "Jesus Wanda! Ow! Same side! Same team! Yeah, guess who? Hi!" You ramble, attempting to pry her steely grip off your wrist. She lets go, taking in her surroundings. "What am I doing here?" She mumbled, rubbing her eyes. You slowly edge towards her, sitting on the edge of the couch. She rolls her eyes. "Oh come on, I'm not going to bite." She remarks. "Could've fooled me..." You mumble, rubbing your wrist wistfully. She giggles, and you feel your heart skip a beat before you mentally slap yourself. Come on Y/L/N, get a grip on yourself. She pulls the other earphone out of her ear, slapping it into your hand before leaving you alone, outside on the couch. You sit there for a few more minutes, contemplating the turn of events as well as Wanda's mood swings before Natasha pokes her head outside, interrupting your train of thought. "Hate to break up this little zen thing you've got going on but Tony's got some shitty movie afternoon planned and Spider Boy is choosing the movie." She rolls her eyes, indicating how little she thought of Peter's movie taste. You snort, following her into the living making a quick pit stop by the kitchen to grab a quick bite before hopping into your shower for a quick cleansing of the mind before you get dragged into watching some childish Disney movie.

4 HOURS LATER

"Tonight, we will be watching... HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 3! Brought to you by myself." Peter screams, winking at the Avengers gathered around the large TV in the main room. You turn to hear a few groans from Bruce, Nat, Rhodey and Tony. Steve looks around, confused as to why no one is excited to watch this movie. You chuckle, knowing he'll realize exactly why as soon as the movie starts. Your eyes flick towards Wanda to see her reaction. Surprisingly, she seemed quite excited to watch the movie. As you settle into your seats, Tony hollers at you. "Oi, Maximoff and Y/L/N, care to grab some sodas for everyone?" You glare at him as you had just found a comfortable spot and honestly, seeing the shit eating grin on Tony's face, he was definitely going to steal your spot when you left. You feel a tug to see Wanda, towering over you, attempting to drag you to the kitchen to get the drinks. You throw one last glare at Tony before following her to the kitchen. She opens the fridge, pulling out some cans before passing them to you, your fingers brushing which sends a shiver up your spine. You take hold of at least 4 cans, struggling to balance them as they wobble back and forth. Wanda closes the fridge with an equal amount of cans and the two of you make your way back to the group with the two towers of precariously teetering soda cans.

You chuck a Coke at Tony's face, catching him off guard as it clubs him in the face. "Hey!" He exclaims in protest. "That's what you get for stealing my seat." Wanda chuckles, shaking her head as she plops down into the small couch. You're preparing your ass for the pain it'll be in from sitting on the floor but luckily, Wanda comes to the rescue, patting the space beside her. "There's enough space for both of us." She claims as you sit down, squishing against her warm body. She pulls her sweater closer to her as you look anywhere but at her. Your eyes lock onto Steves who's staring at you in complete shock, having witnessed her lashing out at you only 24 hours ago. You allowed yourself to relax a little, leaning into the back of the couch as you sipped your own Coke as Peter cheered at the sight of all the dragons. Not paying any attention to the movie at all, your gaze wandered over to Wanda who was watching the movie with wide eyes, her inner child bursting at the seams, unable to contain her excitement. You grinned, briefly forgetting yourself as you slung your arm around her shoulder, but that happy feeling was instantly replaced by fear as you felt her stiffen under your touch. Oh shit... Oh dear god this is going to be the end of me. Any moment know she's going to use her lil' fingers and throw me through 5 straight walls of concrete. You thought, silently praying to yourself but to your surprise, the bright red blast never came. Instead, Wanda slowly softened and wiggled closer to you. At this point, Steve wasn't even watching the movie. His eyes were as wide as saucers as he watched Wanda laugh at the movie, still snuggled into you while you were stiff as a board, staring into his soul, begging for help. You found yourself draining the soda can, your eyes locked on the TV screen, refusing to look anywhere else, more specifically Wanda. What you didn't notice was Wanda, glancing up at you every few minutes.

Eventually, the movie reached the end with Peter wiping away a few stray tears and Tony cheering with joy while everyone else trudged towards their rooms. You look down to see Wanda, still leaning against you, fast asleep. You take a moment to admire her the angelic look upon her face before gently sliding out from under her. You slide your arms under her body before gently lifting her up. "Wow, you're actually pretty light!" You stage-whisper, making sure not to wake her up as you make your way towards her room, nudging the door open with your foot. You take a sharp breath when she turns a bit, giving a contented sigh. Letting out the breath, you proceed to deposit her gently on the bed and cover her with a blanket. You take one last look at her and before you can decide otherwise, give her a light kiss on her forehead. "Good night." You whisper, turning off the lights and leaving her in what would be a fitful night of nightmares.

_____________________________________________________________

That's it for this part! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Hope you all enjoyed!

[kuralione]

Cassian & Gangu Body-Sharing AU (Part 3)

(Part 2)

The next day come and the trio-duo(?) go to school. They might briefly encounter Yuri in the morning or she might have already left. Anyway, they go to school and before the day even begins, Gangu is cornered by his bullies. After a night to think things over, they’ve realized that perhaps they went a little to far yesterday and want to make absolutely sure that Gangu knows better than to snitch.

Now, Cassian can’t take on Gangu’s bully for him no matter how much both of them were prefer him taking over and beating their bullying asses six ways to Sunday. He is completely incapable of any action when the body is in civilian form—he can’t so much as make their body blink in this form.

So Gangu gets picked on as usual. Gangu is a mix of resigned—this has been happening for years, on some level Gangu has accepted this as just how things are—and fed up with things—he died yesterday. For all the torment he has suffered over the years, he never thought they’d kill him; drown him in a school toilet.

Cassian is furious. He feels helpless to do anything as these bullies proceed to push Gangu around. He wants nothing more than to beat down these assholes—but he can’t. This can not be allowed to continue however and Cassian promises Gangu they’ll find a way to put an end to it. He doesn’t know how yet, but the torture will end. He swears it.

The school day commences.

Cassian and Gangu talk a bit and Cassian helps out where he can. Maybe one of the bullies put Gangu on the spot in a class in an attempt to humiliate him and Cassian gives him the answer? Maybe Cassian tells Gangu about the differences between this school and what going to school was like in America?

Oh god. Am I going to have to research the Korean education system if/when I actually write this properly? Do they have the home-room class thing like Japan? That might throw off my idea of having Gangu partially escape the bullies by moving up a level? My school had like four levels (Grade, Advanced, Honors, AP). Gah, I might just scrap that conversation or moving idea? Then I can just hand-wave it and have the school work by American rules even if it shouldn’t.

School ends and they go to some rather secluded location. Gangu is a lot more careful about where he transforms than Cassian. Gangu is a lot more attached to his life than Cass was in canon, if someone sees him or if a camera records him, or, or, or…his life will be ruined. Yeah, he was a bit reckless with Blaster, but Gangu pleads extenuating circumstances.

(Gangu will be so happy when Cassian unlocks his shadow movement ability.)

Gangu is also more careful about talking or responding to Moros in public—he doesn’t want to seem crazy and give more ammunition for picking in him. Poor kid, so much of his thought process revolves on how to avoid getting hurt or tormented…kid is traumatized.

Regardless, they go to the secluded location and the trio talk about what the plan is going forward. Cassian, Gangu, and Moros are all in this together for better or worse. If this is going to work then they (mainly Gangu and Cassian tbh) need to be on the same page. What do they want? What do they need? What are the terms of their co-habitation?

Moros: he wants the sword of destruction thing and he would appreciate avenging Jeff, but I think he would prioritize the sword. He isn’t very urgent with his desires, he’s waited a long time and he’s fine waiting some time more as long as they get around to it eventually. He gets things have better odds of working if they don’t rust it.

Cassian:

He wants revenge on Lampas. He is willing to delay his revenge for now and instead focus on growing stronger. Agreeing to it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, but he doesn’t want to throw a kid like Gangu into his crusade. He also sees the logic in waiting and gaining strength first—this is what he ends up doing in canon after all.

He would like to have control regularly not just when there is a fight. He doesn’t need it all the time nor will he demand a 50/50 split—he considers the body to be rightfully Gangu—; however, he doesn’t fancy the idea of being a mental voice all the time. He wants to move and experience the world by his own will.

Gangu:

Honestly, Gangu isn’t sure what he wants besides the bullying to stop. He supposed he’d like Cassian to help him do better in school so he can improve his future prospects. It’s been a long time since Gangu thought about his wants beyond the end of his torment. He reserves the right to add items to their list though.

Gangu doesn’t want to get hurt or to suffer. He is legitimately scared at the prospect of being discovered by Lampas. He has also been subjected to the same anti-villain propaganda as the rest of society. It’s scary to learn he might have turned into a villain himself if he hadn’t been killed and if Cassian hadn’t taken his powers in the botched reincarnation. The main reason he even trusts Cassian is that Cassian Lee is a Hero and Gangu can tell Cass is being honest through their mental bond thing. Gangu…is ashamed, I guess? Of the fate he might have had as an apocalyptic villain. Villains scare him and so does the idea of fighting them. He still felt some of Cassian’s pain in the fight with Blaster—it was muted, but it was not fun for him.

However, the idea of punishing those who hurt others is very appealing to Gangu. There’s a nice power fantasy to this, Cassian took down Blaster with such (relative) ease. Gangu wouldn’t have to get his hands dirty ether as Cass would be doing all the actual fighting. Gangu can enjoy doing justice while taking little to none of the responsibility. He doesn’t say it like that, but…yeah. Gangu has a bit of a vicious, vindictive, and sadistic streak. He also cares a lot about justice. He is very vocal in his objection about ever hurting ‘innocent’ people.

He also doesn’t feel like it’s right to keep Cassian locked up 24/7. Cassian deserves to be able to stretch his legs too. Cass is the only reason Gangu is still alive and he’s been really kind and considerate over all. And Cass isn’t like the other villains so he won’t hurt people if Gangu lets him out.

The general agreement:

Gangu will be in control of their body the majority of the time. He has to be able to maintain his life after all. They decide to flexible with time, but Cassian gets at least an hour a day to stretch his legs and move even if that time is just within Gangu’s room. Ideally, Cassian will get one of the weekend days entirely for himself and around three to four hours a day.—1/6th of the day. Which isn’t horrible if they’re setting more than half the day aside for sleep and school. Gangu grudgingly consents to Cassian running around in Villain form, but they have to be careful, okay? They have to make sure they aren’t found out or connected. And Cassian can’t hurt any ‘innocent’ civilians. Gangu doesn’t care about the villains. Oh, and Cassian is helping with school. And getting rid of the bullies.

Cassian then does some exploring and recon. They go home, do school work, and have dinner with Yuri. And dinner Yuri mentions the string of murders and how Driver is thought to be responsible. The duo-trio have received their objective.

This is kinda filler section, I guess. But it’s important stuff to establish . I also need to find more Gangu specific stuff.

[kj-1130]

HIRAETH

Chapter 5

Main Masterlist

     Karima walks down the dingy halls of the rundown motel. She listens to every little sound, trying to distinguish the steps of rodents from the steps of any potential witnesses that she doesn’t need. 

     Beginning to turn a corner, a door opens near the end of the hallway, catching her off-guard. She quietly gasps, and pushes her back against the wall and becomes invisible to the human eye.     The person slowly proceeds forward, each of their thudding footsteps vibrating the floor and echoing against the walls. It was as if they were walking in slow-motion or trying to fuck around with someone. 

     But that theory was quickly debunked as Karima saw a heavy-set man walk by with a cigarette hanging out of the side of his mouth and his eyes closed. 

     “What the fuck,” the teen muttered quietly to herself. 

     She needed to get in and get out cause this place was really giving her the heebie-jeebies.

     She stealthily continued her way down the hall, keeping aware of her surroundings knowing this wasn’t the most trustworthy place. As she neared the last door, she reached to her side, her hand hovering over her knife. She unsheathed the weapon and rested her other hand on the doorknob. 

     The teen quietly twists it and finds the room clean (well as clean as this place could be) and empty as if no one had ever been there. She walked in tensely and flipped the lamp on, causing a dull light to emerge. 

     She surveys the room and after finding no immediate threat, Karima begins to scramble through everything; the draws, the bathroom, the closet, all of it. She then reaches the bed. She doesn’t want to look, if she’s being honest. Because if she finds nothing, then she has no leads. If she has no leads, then she loses her. And she can’t lose her. Not again. 

     She inhales deeply, and exhales deeper. A trembling hand reaches out and starts to pull back the covers. Her hand pauses briefly before she decides to rip off the band-aid. 

     After the covers, it was the pillows. After the uncomfortable ass pillows, it’s the whole damn mattress itself. She assesses the bed frame and finds nothing. She looks through the pillow cases and finds nothing. She cut open the pillow and still nothing. 

     Karima takes a breath, trying to calm down her rapidly beating heart. 

     “C’mon, c’mon,” she mutters to herself as she cuts open the mattress. 

     Her arm slips through the well-sized slit she created and immediately, it comes into contact with a folder. She immediately snatches the material out and rips the orange holder open. 

     Inside of it was over two thousand dollars and a section of a map. 

     Karima let out a sigh and ran a hand over her flushed face. Putting the items she found in her jacket, she headed towards the door. 

     Right before exiting, a glint of light flashed against her eyes. Looking on the headboard, she stalks towards the furniture and reaches out for the shiny metal. In her hand was a chain with a pyramid pendant. The teen turns the object over in her palms and on the back, it read, “I pledge.”

     Karima bowed her head, then lifted it, giving the room one last look over before shutting the light off and leaving. 

-

     Natasha Romanoff was never one to be vulnerable. Whenever she got a splinter, the woman never whimpered or winced. It was simply a task of finding something small enough and yanking it out. Whenever she had gone undercover, she never shed tears over the mental and emotional toll pretending to be someone else took. She just did her job, no questions asked or hesitation given

     Growing up, she was taught that being vulnerable equated to being weak. It has been engraved in her brain like her mind was some sort of headstone; it was all she would ever be. 

     A weapon that never wept.

     When the Avengers were first assembled, Natasha was... skeptical, one could say. These were people she didn’t necessarily trust, but she had to for the fate of the world. 

     It was a whirlwind, to say the least. She had been trained to be a spy and use her body and reproductive organs to her advantage. She was never taught how to deal with aliens or other-worldly creatures. But she did it because she was, however, brought up to believe that failure results in punishment. And Natasha refused to fail.

     As time went on, the heroes slowly became people she could rely on. They would always have her back and vice versa. Regardless of that, she would never share her deepest, darkest secrets or thoughts. 

     So when she jolted up from her bed, sticky from sweat, the woman quickly wiped those few tears that had been mistakenly shed and went to the shower which washed away any remnants of the involuntary recollection of her past. 

     It was as if her mind was on auto-pilot as she made her way to the kitchen, ready to prepare some tea. And it was only then that her mind became aware of her surroundings. 

     At the counter, someone was hunched over. They were holding a small glass before bringing it to their mouth. 

     “Tony?”

     The man shot his head up and straightened his back. He cleared his throat and nodded at his company. 

     “Hey.” 

     The red-head continued walking over and sat across from the genius and gave him a once-over. 

     He looked tired; drained.

     He slouched over his drink and stared into the abyss that was the liquid. 

     “Why are you up?” 

     “Couldn’t sleep,” he shrugged. “You?”

     She nodded in response and muttered a quiet ‘same’ before they were both forcefully sucked back into awkward silence. 

     Tony let out a sigh after a moment and pushed himself up to grab a second glass. He reached under the counter into the cabinet and grabbed the bottle of vodka.

     The man pushed both items to the woman who had an apprehensive eyebrow raised. 

     He gestured towards the liquid in encouragement and went back to sipping his own. 

     Letting out a sigh, Natasha filled her cup and slouched against the kitchen counter as well. 

     The philanthropist raised his glass. In response, the former spy copied his actions and clinked them together. 

     It was a silent vow to at least try. 

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Hiraeth Taglist

@lizlil, @bellero, @ravennight41, @yasminwashere, @cay-writes-fan-fiction514

Permanent Taglist

@stillmanicc​, @annestine​

[i-love-side-characters]

What did you think of the end of The Toll?

!!! TOLL SPOILERS !!! PROCEED WITH CAUTION !!!

Scythe Cult:  @honorablescythecurie @honorablescythefaraday @palli-x @book-limerence @lochscinders @a-lonely-tatertot @shellyseashell

bored? send me serotonin please <3

Okay now lets get a couple things out of the way. I haven’t read Toll in a little bit, and it’s taking forever to come from the library. Also, yes I did have it downloaded before, but I kept rereading Faraday’s journal entry when he find out Curie is dead. I know, I’m trash for them but honestly let me have this #curiedeservedbetter2021 #faradaydeservedbetter2021 #curadayforlife

Now that we’ve established that I’m just lonely and so I cling onto healthy (ish) fictional couples for my source of love, let’s proceed.

Things I remember:

 - Rowan and Citra go zoomy zoom into spacey space, but Citra’s deadish because Goddard pulled some shit and so Rowan’s going to wait a couple hundred years for her to wake up

 - Total hottie Ayn Rand shanked Goddard which is honestly a power move you go girl

 - Faraday and Munira unleashed the failsafe, which basically infected a whole bunch of people and now Scythes just kill the infected people so that there’s no suffering

 - Jeri!!! and Greyson!!! Babeys!!! Smol Beans!!! My genderfluid babey with my weird Jesus man it’s a match made by the Thunderhead (because it literally is)

 - Rowan and Citra (who renounced her Scythehood) are going to start a new colony on some random ass planet

Things I don’t remember:

 - Whatever happen with Cirrus

 - Whatever happen with Joel the Jobe Man

 - Whatever happen with Loriana and Munira who are totally in love Shusterman said Sapphic rights 

Okay Akki stfu lets move on:

Okay. I didn’t really like it. I did like Rowan’s sarcasm, but the ending fell a little flat. Compared to the other books’ endings, I didn’t really think it measured up. It was just a bit bland. Here’s why.

The end goal:

Let’s just work our way through the series to show why The Toll just didn’t really work for me.

Scythe - Book 1:

Goal/Climax:

The goal/climax of the book was clear. Citra and Rowan are fighting for the ring. Only one can get it, and the winner has to glean the other. 

The ending:

Citra wins the ring, and is ordained. Instead of actually killing (gleaning) Rowan, she slyly grants him immunity by punching him so that his blood’s DNA would transfer to the database and no Scythe could kill him.  We also got a confession scene where they tell each other they love the other. It ends with Rowan finding out that Faraday did not self-glean.

Why it works:

It is tense. We are watching the two main characters have to either kill the other or be killed. Neither want to. It is clear from their actions throughout that they harbour feelings for each other. This is a high stakes situation. And it flows nicely. We don’t have any unnecessary dialogue/scenes. We don’t have a dumb solution to the problem where a bunch of unnecessary events happen like a character death/romantic scene. They do tell the other that they love them, but the moment is quick and is not the focus of the moment. The focus is on the actual ordainment ceremony and the challenge. The solution directly addresses the main conflict of the book.

Thunderhead - Book 2:

Goal/Climax:

Goddard and Citra (now Anastasia) are presenting their arguments as to who will win the inquest. The inquest was called because Anastasia and Curie needed time to gain more votes in favour of Curie for the position of High Blade. 

The ending:

Anastasia and Curie win the inquest, and Goddard must complete a full new apprenticeship in order to train his new body. Goddard, however, has tricks up his sleeve. He had made a plan prior to the events on Endura to cripple the Grandslayers tower. The plan changes, but works to his favour and destroys the entire island. Curie, in a desperate attempt to save Rowan and Citra, locks them in an airtight chamber that will preserve them so they can be revived. With this sacrifice, Curie is forced to self glean.

“She thrust her blade inward, directly into her heart. She fell to the ground only seconds before the sea would wash over her, but she knew death would wash over her faster. And the blade hurt far less than she imagined it would, which made her smile. She was good. Very, very good.”

-Thunderhead, page 499

Why it works:

*violently screams in my head* I’m good don’t worry

It is a logical ending. If Curie and Anastasia had won the inquest and survived Endura, there would be no need for a third book, unless Shusterman had decided to write a book about Curie being High Blade and Goddard sulking in the shadows and plotting to kill her. That wouldn’t work because I don’t think there is any possible way Curie wouldn’t catch Goddard in two seconds because she’s a boss.

Many people say that Curie should have gotten Rowan to lock her and Anastasia in the vault instead of him. Rowan would have died for Anastasia, it makes sense, but that takes away from the very essence of Curie’s character. She is a truly Honourable Scythe. She knows that Anastasia loves him, and she cares deeply about Anastasia. Letting herself survive would have been completely out of character. She also knows that Anastasia is the future of the Scythedom. While it would be a great help if Curie didn’t die, as well as sparing us emotional trauma, it doesn’t make sense for her character.

This ending also directly “solved” the issue in the book. While the villain won, it was a satisfying ending. Curie is dead, that was a very smart move, because obviously Goddard wouldn’t survive two seconds if she was there. It gave us a good reason for the Thunderhead to disappear.

 *violently screams again* Curie died, yeah, no, I’m okay

The Toll - Book 3: *note that some details may be wrong

Goal/Climax:

Faraday, Rowan, Jeri, Munira, Loriana, Anastasia, Greyson, and Cirrus need to figure out what to with the frozen Tonists, all unknowing that Scythes Goddard and Rand are heading towards the island. They still need to beat him in order to make sure that the non-Scythe population won’t be subject to bias/malice/aforethought/Goddard’s ego. 

The ending:

Rowan, and Citra, who renounced her Scythehood, travel to another planet that can support life with the frozen Tonists, as well as 42 other ships carrying Tonists. Cirrus is copied into 42 different versions in order to save humanity. After being offered Citra’s old ring, Munira (I believe) returns to the Library of Alexandria. Faraday follows through with the failsafe and gleans only the suffering. Greyson and Jeri stay together on the island, and become romantically involved. Scythe Rand is the one who eventually kills Goddard.

Why it DOESN’T work:

Okay, there’s a lot to unpack here. I’m just going to go character by character and by the plot.

1. Plot - It just doesn’t make sense. The hero’s solution doesn’t in any way stop Goddard, who is the main villain. We’ve led up to this for a very long time, and Rand is the one who gleans him. If I’m correct, The main characters don’t interact with Goddard for nearly the entire book, save Rowan. The solution, to save humanity by colonizing other planets would, without Rand’s interference, let Goddard wreak his havoc on the world. Only Scythe Faraday and Morrison could truly challenge him, and even then Faraday is old and hasn’t kept his abilities refined, and Morrison is young and inexperienced and wears a denim robe.

2. Rand and Goddard’s Arcs - Rand is the one who kills Goddard. I think that this was a very interesting move, and one that made a lot of sense. Goddard has treated her terribly, it would satisfy her arc of turning against him, as well as giving her a redemption arc that would also avenge Tyger’s death. I think that this is actually a really good arc, were it not for the fact that Citra and Goddard never fought/interacted with each other. If there had been a fight, and Rand had killed him then, that would have been better and would have better satisfied the actual conflict in the book.

3. Rowan and Citra’s Arcs - In terms of Citra’s arc, I think it was emotionally impactful to have her renounce her Scythehood. But Rowan didn’t have as much of a part to play in this book as he could have had. Citra and Goddard also never interacted, which would have been very interesting since he was the direct cause of her mentor and canon mother figure’s death. It would have been an interesting scene that could have played out really well. Based on Discord texts from a conversation I had, I know an reminded that the last two pages of The Toll were incredibly impactful and beautiful. I don’t have much to say about Rowan since I don’t remember much of his role.

4. Jeri, Greyson, Loriana, and Munira’s Arcs - I paired these four together since their doings aren’t very solid after the books. Jeri and Greyson are canonically together, which I think was a great move by Shusterman. Having a main character in a healthy relationship with a canon LGBTQ+ character was incredibly impactful for me, and it satisfied Greyson’s thoughts about how he doesn’t care if Jeri is a boy or a girl, he just loves them. Loriana didn’t have as much of an arc, but Munira did have a small one. Her refusal of the Scythe’s ring let her dispense of her hatred for Scythes and their system, and let her let go of her bitter feelings about not being ordained. 

5. Cirrus’ Arc? - I do not remember enough to speak about Cirrus’ role in the books.

6. Faraday’s Arc - This is probably the one I have the most to say about. I am sorry in advance. Faraday is an emotional character. He has cried canonically twice as far as I can remember, once when he gleaned a child, and the other when he found out Scythe Curie and Anastasia had died on Endura. He is also openly disgusted with Scythe Goddard and his practices, which is why I supremely dislike his arc. It would have been so interesting to see how he would have reacted if Scythe Goddard and the heroes had interacted during the end scene of The Toll. We know he is an Honourable Scythe, like Curie, and upholds the Scythe Commandments, especially after his punishment over his breaking of the 9th commandment “Thou shalt have no spouse nor spawn.” It would have been so. interesting. to see whether Faraday would snap and attack Goddard, if he would try and talk to him, how he would react. Like with Anastasia, he would have been interacting with Curie’s murderer. The potential of that moment! Don’t forget that Faraday is definitely still in love with Curie, based on his elevated heart rate in Thunderhead, and his journal entry in The Toll. I think it would have been so interesting to see him confront her killer.

Summary:

Okay that was much longer than I intended, and I have more thoughts, but it’s 2:40 am and I haven’t slept in a while. So my summary. I liked The Toll. It was a solid book, that had funny moments, jaw dropping moments, heartfelt moments, and emotionally impactful scenes. It was a solid book.

I don’t think it compared as much to the other two, especially Thunderhead. The ending fell a little flat and didn’t carry the arcs as well as I would have liked, but honestly, I still reread it. Shusterman really managed to pull at your emotions.

Because I just beat up on the book for the last couple paragraphs, let me tell you some of my favourite parts of the book.

1. Literally any scene with Possuelo and Anastasia that dynamic was so good and him calling her “meu anjo” literally made my heart do a little happy dance the father-daughter dynamic was what we needed. It also offered a nice levity to tough scenes.

2. The Rowan-Anastasia Reunion. They ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet. Ohhhh my god, they ran towards each other and knocked each other off their feet! That was so cute, and as someone who was a strong supporter of platonic Rowan & Anastasia, I honestly loved it.

3. Faraday-Anastasia Reunion. Him dropping to his knees in front her her, her initial confusion as to who he was, and the “perhaps the greatest of all Scythes was kneeling in front of her” part killed me. Their reunion was so well written and heart-wrenching.

4. Anastasia Cries about Curie’s Death. I feel like WatchMojo right now. Anyways, the way her emotions break after trying to repress her sadness over her mentor’s sacrifice for her.

5. Rowan’s sarcasm. Beauty. What a power move to sass the guy who’s going to set you on fire in front of 3000 people.

6. Scythe Constantine and Rand. What a dynamic I wasn’t ready for. Rand’s cool comebacks with Constantine’s sly personality just made for the most amazing dialogue opportunities. 

Thank you anon!

[joezworld]

Story time!

Here’s what I love about this fight scene - it’s that this Asian guy is immediately ready to kick ass the moment that Tom Cruise and Superman start going after him. Like this guy is literally a nobody. He has no other role in this story except that he’s there. This guy was out on a night at the club and when he gets jumped by Superman and Ethan Hunt he doesn’t scream, or shout, or ask what is going on, he just immediately throws hands and totally wipes the floor with them. Like, he must know that there’s somebody after him, and he is ready to fight to the death at the drop of a hat. Maybe he’s Yakuza?

Maybe like, he’s some Yakuza guy who’s taking the night off from being Japanese organized crime in *checks notes* France for some reason and just wants to go to the club with his homies, and he goes to the bathroom while his buddy is out partying and just doesn’t come back. 

And after a while, like 20 minutes, his friend starts to wonder “Where did Yang go? Did he fall into the toilet or something?” Because Yang expects that someone might want him dead, but this is Japanese organized crime - some sort of formal notice is supposed to be given if they’re gonna put out a hit on you. So his buddy thinks nothing is wrong until he goes into the bathroom and finds it just destroyed - and Yang is GONE - because Superman called in the CIA cleanup squad once they left, so they’ve presumably already come in and dumped the body in the Seine or something just so nobody panics at the disco because they found a dead guy in the bathroom. 

So Yang’s buddy goes off to his boss and tells them that Yang is dead - he has to be - there was blood and the bathroom is destroyed and everything, and Yang isn’t answering his phone. And obviously nobody knows what the fuck actually happened, so these French Yakuza guys are sitting around, racking their fucking brains trying to figure out who the fuck would have that much dishonor to kill Yang and not even leave a note or a reason, and eventually they figure out - “ah! It must be Rival Gang Number 1!” 

So naturally there’s this outlandish and John Wickian series of gang fights as Yang’s gang just absolutely destroys this unsuspecting other gang that they think killed their buddy, led of course by Yang’s friend, who is totally going through some ‘John Wick tracking down the guy who killed his dog’ moments. This ends when Yang’s buddy is standing over the leader of the Rival Gang after some unimaginably bloody battle in some stylized location that is strangely like a Japanese palace but in Metropolitan France (because fuck you). They both know that at best, only one of them is getting out of this alive, and Yang’s buddy knows he should just ice the bastard and do the ritual yell that gets his friend into French Yakuza sto-vo-kor or whatever. 

But he has to know

“Why did you do it?” 

And the other guy spits out a mouthful of blood and maybe a tooth and goes “I should be asking you the same question - why did you attack us? We were at peace.”

And Yang’s buddy goes “We were, until you killed Yang”

“What? No we didn’t. Why would we do that?” and this old Yakuza boss is a man of honor, even to his enemies. If he says he didn’t do something he means it. He does. Not. lie. Ever.

And so the two of them just sit there for a minute and absorb the information that this whole gang war was in error. Of course, being the sly and conniving French Yakuza leaders they are, it never occurs to them that Yang got killed because Tom Cruise couldn’t figure out what his target looked like and grabbed the wrong guy, so they wrack their brains and eventually realize - ‘it’s a false flag operation. If we kill ourselves, Rival Gang #3 can take both of our places without jeopardizing their own operation. 

So naturally another bloody gang war goes on, this time with Yang’s Gang and Rival Gang Number 1 both fighting against Rival Gang #3. Again, a series of increasingly elaborate samurai gang battles take place across most of France (because this is in France - why? Fuck you) as these gangs try to avenge Yang. And again, they slaughter their way through the entire gang organization before finally realizing that no, Rival Gang #3 had nothing to do with this either. So they put their heads together and think about what might have happened and come to the conclusion that maybe it's a different gang - one made of actual French people and not a statistically improbable number of Japanese expats. 

And so they go to the French gang - who basically stops them at the door and says ‘we know why you’re doing this, and we went through our entire rolodex of People We Know and nobody did anything to Yang or knows who did - the only person we don’t know about is this one guy who we fired six months ago for being too crazy and if He Did This it wasn’t on Us. 

So the three gangs go okay, and take the little rolodex card and go looking for this crazy person that the French gang fired, and they find him, and they ask him what happened, and he says that he has no idea either, but he goes to that club too and knows that they have secret recording tech there so that they can blackmail their evil customers if they ever need to. 

So all of the upper management of these three gangs finish slapping themselves upside the head for forgetting something as simple as ‘pull the security tapes’ and they go and they intimidate the club owners to let them see the footage from the night this happened. They’re looking but it’s slow going, until one of the club’s security guards, who is standing right there - because they’re looking at everything inside the security room, says that he knows who Yang is - and it turns out that he moonlights as club security but his day job is at the local morgue, and he says that the Gendarmerie fished Yang’s body out of the Seine the day he died - whoever did it was sloppy and dumped him at low tide so he didn’t hit the water, otherwise they’d have never found him. 

So now these gangs are wondering what the fuck actually happened to Yang, because if someone dumped him in the river they clearly were hiding the body, not trying to make a statement, which is what Franco-Japanese Yakuza groups are all about - because they totally live for Drama. So it clearly wasn’t anyone they knew or anyone that knew them. 

To make things even more confusing they finally get the footage of Yang, and there’s not a clear idea of what happened, because Yang went in, then other people went in, then more people went in, then most of the people left. Then two guys walk in, followed by a bunch of drunks - who leave before the two guys do. Yang hasn’t left yet, but then a woman runs into the men’s bathroom, before leaving with the two guys who came in before - and they look beat up. Then a bunch of janitors go in and then leave - these are presumably the body clean-up crew, but who is everyone else? 

“What the fuck does this mean?” The gangsters say to themselves. Clearly the beat up guys are the ones that did it, but who the fuck are they? Nobody has any idea who they are, so they decide to trace these guys through the club to see where they came from and where they went. 

And now things go from unusual to downright weird, because the guys who killed Yang and the girl they left the bathroom with then go into the private area of the club, one of them picks up a girl at the bar, and then all four of them proceed to murderize like 7 guys who are trying to attack them before walking out of the club and into the night. Following the tapes of the two men back before they killed Yang reveals that they entered the club through the roof. VIA PARACHUTE. 

Who are these people? And what did Yang have to do with it? 

Finally the penny drops - oh shit, Yang was killed by the CIA. Because only the Americans are that crazy.

Now they’re panicking, running around trying to figure out if they’ve got a leak or a snitch or if this was a lucky hit and they’ve got nothing. No ideas, no clue. Why did this happen? 

Eventually someone calms down enough to burn a few favors at the US embassy and runs facial recognition. One of the guys comes back as CIA and since then he’s died so no luck. The women aren’t American, and then the other guy comes back as some random DMV worker in the United States. “Ethan Hunt”. 

Clearly this is some kind of cover - he has to be CIA too. 

So now these gangs have to try and figure out how the hell they’re going to kill a CIA agent without getting caught - because revenge/honor/sunk cost fallacy. They put their heads together and brainstorm a few ideas. Eventually they come to the master plan of: ‘grab him off the street and beat him to death’.

Smash cut to like 4 months later and they actually manage to grab Ethan Hunt off the streets of Durban or Nairobi or some other place where he’s doing some sort of op, and they get him back to a safehouse and just beat the crap out of him. Curiously he has no idea who they are or why they’re asking about Yang. This infuriates them until someone bashes him upside the head with a club and his skin peels off, revealing that it’s actually some British guy wearing a scarily good mask and a voice changer. 

Now everyone is panicking - Clearly Hunt is onto them - he had a double and everything - he knows. What does he know? How does he know? Who is he going after? All questions. No answers.

 So they go back and make another brilliant  plan to kill him again - this time they’re gonna do it right and just fucking bumrush the guy - kinda like the raid area 51 thing - he can’t stop all of us.

Meanwhile, Ethan Hunt and Vhing Rhames are losing their goddamn minds after Benji gets taken and brutally murdered by parties unknown. Seriously. They ran the plate on the car that grabbed him and it was rented to a Japanese tourist. This doesn’t mean anything. Who wanted Ethan Dead? Why? Who knows? Ethan is losing it because he thinks that he just got another member of his team killed again - because Ethan Hunt must suffer - and they obviously thought that Benji was him. 

Cut to Benji's funeral in England and it’s the standard dramatic part of the movie where Ethan is saying that he can’t work with another partner and he needs some time, yada yada yada. (Oh btw, this is like in the middle of Mission Impossible 12 or 19 or something. These Yakuza guys have been doing this all offscreen and we only see them yank Benji and then later find his body. From the movie’s perspective nobody has any idea what in the blessed fuck is going on.) 

So then we cut to Ethan sitting in his rental car, and it’s the standard dramatic scene of him silently screaming and pounding on the steering wheel of the car as he has a breakdown. But then, without the shot changing - the windows of the car suddenly fill up with angry Asian faces - it’s like a zombie movie, but with Yakuza - Ethan gets ripped from the car by dozens of angry gang members and we just see them beat him to a bloody paste while the camera is still inside the car. Arms and legs occasionally appear, but we don’t see the true horrors that the angry gangsters inflict upon him.

Credits roll - this is the end of the movie

Post credits scene cut to Vhing Rhames walking up to Ethan’s car later, as like the crime scene techs are there - Ethan’s dead, and it was bloody - he’s stabbed through the heart with a katana that then pinned him to the car door for fuck’s sake. And written in blood on the car is a message in Japanese - ‘He killed Yang, so we killed him.’ 

Nobody has any idea what this means. 

End of Mission Impossible series. 

[i-have-a-wonky-eye-too]

Do you know?... Steve Rogers x reader smut

Feel free to show your support for my writing at Ko-fi. All donations are appreciated, thank you x

Warnings: swearing, oral m-receiving, 18+ readers only

“Would you stop staring, it’s creepy.” Bucky sighed deeply next to Steve as his metal fingers pulled at his collar, desperately trying to loosen it.

Steve rolled his eyes as he looked away from you. “I’m not staring, Buck.”

Bucky scoffed turning to rest his left arm on the bar so he could look at Steve. “Don’t lie to me, punk,” he smirked. “You stare at her all, the time.” he teased Steve.

“I don’t always stare at Y/N, jerk.” Steve frowned.

“I never said, Y/N… punk.” Bucky poked Steve in the shoulder as he began grinning. “Just go talk to her.”

Steve sighed dropping his head. “And say what?”

“Well… back in the day, I would tell you to be yourself but that almost got us killed last time…” Bucky teased making Steve huff and roll his eyes at him again. “I don’t understand why you find it hard to talk to her.”

Steve shrugged. “I just… I look at her and everything I have planned in my head to say just… I forget. She’s just so damn beautiful.” he smiled a little. “I mean, she’s more than her looks; she’s smart and funny, respectful, understanding, friendly, caring… lovable,” he whispered before he let out another sigh.

You found yourself smiling at Steve’s words as you overheard him speak to Bucky. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop. You’d only come over to speak to him but when you heard your name leave his lips you found yourself just standing behind him listening, giving Bucky a pleading look not to give you away and he didn’t. You’d planned on telling Steve something similar but as you took a stand next to him at the bar you were interrupted.

“When are we going to stop beating around the bush, eh?” you sighed deeply as you turned your attention to the man beside you, missing Bucky finally give Steve the nod of your presence behind him.

“Greg.” you sighed deeply. “What, can I do for you?” you frowned at him. The man had been pestering you forever to get in your pants, he wasn’t even shy about saying those exact words either.

“Don’t act dumb, babe. You know what I want.” he winked at you.

You scoffed shaking your head. “A dick pic is not a way a girl wants to be asked out.”

“Whoa!” he held his hands up. “Asked out? No, no, you don’t get asked out, I get inside you.” he grinned. “Look, just a quick one you don’t even have to fall in love with me.”

Your eyebrows shot up almost disappearing in your hair. “No!” you turned around again only to have him loop his arm around you. “Get off me, Greg.”

“C’mon, Y/N… maybe if you let me shove my dick inside that cave you call a tight little pussy you might lighten up a bit.” he chuckled as he pulled you closer to him.

You grabbed your drink and threw it in his face before you slapped Greg across the face. “Fuck you!” you hissed.

“You little bit-” before Greg could finish his sentence Steve had grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and hauled his ass in front of him.

“What was that?” he asked towering over Greg, his body caging him against the bar. You stared at the two men, a little worried Steve was going to get himself in trouble.

“Steve!” you placed your hand on his bicep hoping to get him to stop.

“Hmm… perhaps you should go get some fresh hair, doll.” Bucky nodded his head towards the balcony. “Go, I’ve got this.”

You loved your job as a Doctor for the Avengers. You’d always been a caring person, wanting to help in any way you could. You treat everyone with the same respect regardless if they were Tony Stark or Aunt May, every life was important. Well, maybe you treated Steve a little differently. Even though he was Captain America you always liked to double-check none of his old illnesses were harming him. Nothing to do with the little crush you had on him (it had everything to do with your little crush on him). It grew more and more with every visit Steve made which seemed to be at least once a week sometimes.

“You okay?” Steve cleared his throat as he walked out onto the balcony where you stood leaning against the railing.

You sighed deeply nodding, your eyes focused on the tiny bit of scotch still in the glass that was in your hand. “Apart from causing a scene at a children’s hospital charity event, yeah, fine.”

Steve frowned as he came to your side. “You didn’t cause the scene, Y/N.” he reassured you as he placed his hand on your shoulder, his thumb slowly rubbing circles of your skin sending shivers across your skin.

You shook your head sighing. “Are you kidding me? I slapped him after-” your eyes widened as you noticed the state of Steve’s blue shirt. “Is that blood on your shirt?” you asked looking up to his face, noticing more of his appearance. “Steve! Your bleeding.” you gasped as you stepped a little closer to him. Your medical training taking over as you began to touch the skin around his split lip. What had he been doing?

Steve chuckled taking your hand in his. “Y/N, I’m fine.”

There was no way he let Greg just hit him. You frowned slightly as you turned his hand to face you. You sighed shaking your head; his hand was still covered in blood and it was most definitely his. “Oh, Steve, what happened?”

He shook his head sighing. “Nothing, doll.” he gave you a soft smile as he looked up to you.

“Well… I don’t believe that for one second, but, as long as he came off worst?” Steve nodded chuckling. “Good. Now, let me clean you up, Captain.”

The moment those words left your mouth Steve lost it. His hand cupped the back of your head and pulled you closer to him, his lips crashing against yours. Your hands wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to you, moaning into the kiss as his tongue slipped into your mouth. Steve’s strong hands gripped hold of you, making you feel safe. A metallic taste fills your mouth reminding you of his injuries.

You pulled back from Steve gasping, your hand going to your mouth. “M’ sorry. I shouldn’t have-”

You pulled Steve into another kiss but a much softer one. “No, you should have but, you’re bleeding,” you whispered, your lips brushing his. “C’mon, I better clean you up.”

“No, Y/N, I-”

“That’s an order, Mr. Rogers.” you pointed your finger at him with a smirk as you took his bleeding hand to lead him away.

You took Steve to your office instead of the medical bay as it was closer but still far enough away from the party. Steve sat on the small two-seat sofa you had in your office whilst you sat in your desk chair whilst you checked his wound. Once you were satisfied they weren’t in need of stitches you cleaned his knuckles and proceed to wrap them. They’d heal within hours no doubt but you still liked to make sure.

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this, Steve.” you sighed as you tied the bandage off.

Steve frowned as he looked up to you. “Why are you sorry? He was the one being rude to you, Y/N.”

“But you got hurt. That was the last thing I wanted,” you said to him.

Steve shook his head as he once again took your hand in his. “Sweetheart, I’ll heal. As long as you’re okay, a split lip and some cut knuckles are nothing… You’re all that matters to me, okay?” he whispered before he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles.

You looked down trying to hide your face so Steve couldn’t see you blush. “Why’s that? Because I’m caring and lovable?” you bit your lip trying not to smirk as you looked up to Steve.

“I don’t-” Steve shook his head as he looked down. “How long were you stood behind me?” he asked with a small smirk.

You chewed the inside of your lip pretending to think about it. “Hmm… I think you said… you look at me and everything you have planned-” you burst out squealing as Steve scooped you up into his arms and sat you on his lap, his mouth crashing against yours once more.

You wrapped your arms around his neck as you kissed him back. Steve placed one of his hands on your lower back as his other one laid across your bare thigh. You moaned into his mouth as you felt his tongue once more caress yours. Your fingers gently tangled into his soft, blonde locks as your kiss deepened. Eventually, you had to pull back needing to breathe but as you did you became aware of Steve’s growing erection under your leg.

“Oh, hmm, sorry. I-” You pecked Steve’s lips once more as you slowly began to move from his lap and onto the floor. “What are you-”

“Shh…” you slowly ran your hands down his lower abdomen and over his the outline of his cock. “Is this what I do to you, Steve?” you asked looking up to him through your eyelashes.

Steve gulped nodding. “Y/N, you don’t have-”

You shook your head smirking at him. “I want to Steve. God, I want to make you feel good. Can I?” Steve nodded gulping as his hands gripped a hold of the sofa.

Teasingly slow your fingers danced along the length of his zipper until you came to the buckle of his belt. You bit your lip as you unclipped it before pulling the zip of his pants down before your fingers curled around the waistband of his boxers. Steve raised his hips from the sofa cushion to allow you to pull his pants and boxers down until his hard cock sprang free.

Your eyes widened a little as you took in the glorious sight of him. “Fuck, me.” you didn’t mean to gasp at the sight but it just slipped out. Yep, the serum definitely had gifted Steve. You bit your bottom lip as you looked up once again to Steve. “I can’t wait to taste you, Captain.” you teased him.

Steve shut his eyes briefly. “Fuck, Y/N-” he chuckled. “Do you have any idea what that does to me?”

You shook your head as you gently wrapped your dainty fingers around the base of his cock, this time Steve was the one to gasp. “Let’s see, shall we.” you leaned forwards and licked the full length of his cock, swirling your tongue around the tip. “Hmm, delicious.” you moaned as a bead of pre-cum settled on your tongue.

Steve’s right hand that was cut up, tangled into your hair as you wrapped your lips around his head. You moaned around him as you slowly sank down his length, the underside of his cock grazing over your tongue.

“Fuck-” Steve gasped again, his eyes shooting open.

His teeth dug into his bottom lip as you began to bob your head as you wrapped your hand around his shaft.

“Shit!” he groaned again.

You tightened your lips around his cock as you sucked hard around him.

“Ah, fuck- wait!” Steve pulled you off his cock. You looked up to him confused and worried you’d done something wrong. “Move back, baby. I want to get a good look at you whilst you suck my cock,” he smirked at you as he stood to his feet.

You licked your lips as you crawled backward on the floor until Steve could stand in front of you. Once in position, you took Steve into your mouth again, moaning around his length as he slipped in deeper than before.

Your eyes fell shut as you sucked and bobbed your head. Steve slipped his hand under your chin and slowly began to move his hips back and forth, pushing in even deeper. Soon he was completely fucking your mouth and you loved it.

“Fuck sweetheart, you look so Goddamn beautiful with my cock in your mouth.” Steve groaned as he felt your tongue lick his underside as his cock moved in and out of your warm, wet mouth.

You looked up and locked eyes with Steve and he swore he could see you grinning around his cock, only turning him on to the max.

“FUCK! Gonna cum. That what you want? Me to fill you up?” he asked as he screwed his fist up into your hair, dragging you on and off his cock.

You nodded moaning around his cock, your fingers digging into the globes of his ass as you steady yourself.

“OH SHIT! ARGH!” Steve cried out as he came deep inside your mouth, his hot cum slipping down your throat.

Steve practically fell back onto the sofa after you had pulled off him, grinning like a Cheshire cat as you run your fingers across your bottom lip, collecting any of his cum that you may have spilled. Steve’s chest heaved as he sat there. The two of you staring into each other’s eyes, neither making any effort to move.

“You’re not in any rush to go back, are ya’?” Steve asked grinning down at you as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip.

You shook your head before you wrapped your lips around the tip of his thumb, sucking it into your mouth for a brief moment before you pulled off it with a pop. “Definitely, not.”

[multistarks]

random train of thought about tony talking to mjolnir ended up being a feels!good scienceboyfriends mini-fic with team-as-family trope and Bruce&Clint bromance. have at thee.

*

So Thor leaves Mjolnir pretty much everywhere, right, and nobody can pick it up because it's heavy as all get out and so it just lies there being regal and metallic and alien. That's fine, the team gets used to it, just as they're getting used to each other, and incorporate it into their new normal.

But then they notice that whenever Tony's around, he just casually talks to Mjolnir like it's actually talking back. It takes them a while to figure out if this is normal behaviour or not, because Tony talks to anything and everything regardless of it being alive or not - Tony just talks. He talks to Dummy, JARVIS, the microwave (although the team's not sure if the beeps that come out of the thing are actual replies or just coincidence. Like, come on, even Tony wouldn't put an AI in his microwave, right? ...Right?) and everything else.

It's not like Mjolnir talks back, because Mjolnir can't speak - Bruce knows this, because he actually asked Thor just to make sure - but Tony still... talks.

"Did Thor leave you here again? On the floor? Just like that? Jesus, he needs to you treat you better, doesn't he? Putting a fine piece of tech like you on the floor like you mean nothing. Girl, I'd drop his ass so fast his head would be spinning. You should talk to him, zap him a little the next time he tries to touch you. Yeah? Yeah."

It's not like Tony even knows he's doing it - at least, Bruce doesn't think Tony knows he's doing it, but he does. Do it, that is. He does it a lot. He does it so much that the rest of them - Bruce included - start treating Mjolnir like she's actually sentient too. See? They're even calling her a she! She has a pronoun! That isn't it!

This is against every scientific fibre in Bruce's body. Period.

"Indeed," Thor says mournfully. "Friend Tony treats Mjolnir far better than I ever have. I am ashamed to realise my poor treatment of her, and shall endeavour to correct it."

JARVIS constantly assures them that this is normal, that this is just Tony, and even told Bruce aside that this was how JARVIS himself had become so well versed in humanity. The idea of Tony just talking at a newly fleshed AI and coaxing it into replying like a new born baby is-

-No. Absolutely not. Bruce is not going there.

Besides, Tony talks to all tech, and not just Mjolnir and the coffee machine and his actual AI's. Sure, he coaxes the coffee machine to work just a little bit faster, mutters at Dummy to go entertain You and Butterfinger, says good job to the iron man suit whenever they finish beating the crap out of a bad guy. But he also talks to the fridge, greets the TV like a long lost friend, speaks to the Hellicarier like she's a fine lady and calls her a queen. Maybe it's just to keep himself occupied - Bruce can't help noticing that Tony sometimes seems... well... bored. And boredom can make people do a lot of things they normally wouldn’t consider.

Like talk to non-sentient things.

The day Tony starts talking to trees is the day Bruce will really start worrying.

Besides, he can’t help but find it... cute.

Right, he did say he wasn’t going to go there, but it's getting increasingly difficult to not.

"You're smiling goofily again," Clint tells him helpfully, having recently taken it upon himself to inform Bruce of this whenever it happens.

Quickly schooling his face to something that isn't goofy, Bruce gives him a quick thanks and sips at his coffee, forcing his mouth to do something else in case it decides to smile again.

"Not that I blame you," Clint continues, bumping Bruce's leg with his own companionably. "There's something creepily adorable about seeing a grown ass fucking man thank the oven for a pizza."

Bruce nods agreeably, eyes tracking Tony placing the cooked pizza on the countertop and chatting with JARVIS as the AI proceeds to laser the pizza into even portions (at this point, he doesn’t even blink at the unnecessary usage of lasers.)

"But you seriously gotta do something about your... y'know." Clint finishes, picking at the blueberries Tony had distractedly dumped in front of Bruce when he'd walked in.

Shaking his head - already having made peace with the fact that everyone but Tony knows of his ridiculous highschool crush on him - Bruce takes a handful of the berries himself. "Not really," he says patiently. "It's nice just sitting here and... being."

"Doesn't it, I dunno, hurt?" Clint asks curiously, voice light and in no way pressings. He sounds genuinely curious, but then again, he probably is. Clint's outtake on life is horrifying and cheerily morbid, surprisingly refreshing for Bruce, and they've bonded easily because of it.

Shaking his head in answer again, Bruce's eyes followed Tony looking into the fridge, head down and butt up, rummaging through it in search of something. "Usually it does, but this time it's just... sweet. I'm happy just being here. As long as he's happy too.”

“That’s disgustingly cute,” Clint informs him seriously, his own eyes crinkling in mirth as Tony starts humming off key. “But I think I get what you mean.”

He can feel his lips pulling into that goofy smile Clint constantly points out again, but doesn’t try to tamp down on it. His chest is warm, like a waterfall going in reverse and drowning him in emotions that, for once, feel lovely. Resting his face in his hands, Bruce just watches, content, as Clint throws a blueberry at Tony, hitting him on the butt, and Tony squawks in outrage, banging his head against the fridge as he stupidly tries to stand.

“I’m so sorry,” Tony coos at the fridge, at the fridge, stroking the cabinet he’d hit his head against. “I know, I know, you get no respect in this damn house, right? And it’s all birdy’s fault, right?” And then launches himself across the table to smack at Clint. The archer falls back with a loud shriek, devolving into his trademark ugly snorting that doubles as his laugh, and Tony’s- Tony’s climbing over the damn table to get at him.

Covering his face with a hand, Bruce struggles not to laugh, even as he says, “Tony, no, Tony get off the table, Tony-” even as he thinks, ‘this is the happiest I’ve ever been’.

And so he carries on finding it cute. Carries on getting swept away by the way Tony talks to his phone, shouts at his bots, and tries to bribe JARVIS and utterly fails.

And if he starts talking to Mjolnir himself? If he thanks the coffee machine when it brews him decaf even though he’d had no idea there was even any decaf in the tower? And when the fridge refuses to open up for Clint until he falls to his knees at three in the morning and begs forgiveness?

Bruce just smiles that goofy smile, and one of the Avengers (every single one, actually, everyone but Tony) will tell him, “You’re doing it again,” and smile at him indulgently.