#the autism is autisming today (negative)

[alliumsduo]

Halloween costume but i'm dressed up as ctommy and i have a c!dream plush and i dropkick him into oncoming traffic

[autisticlee]

sometimes people who struggle like to make jokes or find positives about their condition that causes them to struggle so they can escape the constant negative and struggle. sometimes autistic people will say things like "the 'tism" or use the "autism creature" or say their autism helped them have a *positive trait* to feel better about their struggles. because living your life only focusing on the struggles and negatives is depressing and makes it hard to want to live, even if those struggle take up 100% of your life and you can't actually escape them. sometimes any little seemingly positive thing can help a lot.

but there's so many other autistic people that hate when we do that and call it "reducing autism to a cute trendy thing" and say it takes away from *their* struggles and is bad and shouldn't be used. maybe *you* want to only focus on your struggles, but some people can't live in constant negative and need some positive or to find ways to make their condition more positive so they can feel better about living with their struggles. life is hard. I take anything I can get.

I cant get jobs. I can't make and keep friends. I can't get help and support for doing "normal" things so sometimes I go weeks without being able to shower and without eating more than a bowl of cereal a day. most times can't even do things I like. struggle to communicate. have meltdowns. i'll never be able to live independently. I struggle a lot. but instead of sitting here always depressed and having no motivation to live, i'd rather try to joke about "my 'tism is acting up again" when i'm struggling (just an example. don't think I ever actually used the 'tism thing but i saw others use it) or say "i'm just being a creature" when I need to stay in my dark room because everything is too much and I personally find it cute to be a little creature meant in a positive way. i'm not actually downplaying mine or anyone else's struggles. I still acknowledge them and that silly jokes dont make them go away. i'm not trying to be trendy. i'm not doing any of the things people say we do by making silly little jokes. i'm using the silly little jokes to convince myself life can be a little more than pointless, painful garbage all the time.

(continue in tags)

[rexscanonwife]

No I'm fine it's cool I'm just

[dewgongs]

hmmm i have really really been struggling with this part of my job

[bunnyboy-juice]

would y'all still think I'm hot if i slammed my head into a wall repeatedly until i started bleeding?

[rackartyg]

in therapy today i just talked about the dark urge and astarion and my therapist was elated about it. it was fantastic. “wow you’ve really been using this story and those characters to process things. that’s amazing!”

the era of being ashamed of my interests is over. it’s apparently Cool and Healthy to use fiction to cope. i wish i could tell fifteen year old me about this it would blow her mind

[haemosexuality]

i always feel like the way i type is autistic as fuck. i get sorta self conscious about it sometimes

[stupid-lemon-eater]

icb my brain hurts just bc i have brain hurting disorder

[sanguinewolves]

that poll is litrally sickening to me like not to be an evil pedant but it is OBJECTIVELY yea not yay. YOU CAN FUCKING LOOK IT UP THIS IS PUBLICLY AVAILABLE INFO. YOU LEARN THIS SHIT IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL I DOTN UNDERSTAND HOW EVERYONE IS VOTING YAY. THIS IS AN OBJECTIVE FACT AUGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

[ikishima]

.

[kingofhearts709]

sometimes i wonder whether im just fucked in the head or if i really do have autism

[sk3l3t0n1n]

i hate myself so fucking much

[lalaboy]

Yeah i don't know if i can assume THAT much about you from your artstyle but. Ex-hamilton liker for SURE just like you said. And you probbaly liked it a lot if you were watching animatics. And you like or have at some point liked anime at least a little bit

looks at the amount of ouran highschool host club ive reblogged... hmm 'Anime' Never Heard of It /j

I think my art now is mainly influenced by the graphic novels im reading, Snotgirl in particular has one of the best art styles i've seen

Hamilton was definitely a secondary special interest of mine for id say a year or two! Made sure my entire family was very aware (forced my mom to watch the entire musical in animatics, played the music constantly in the car, even got my brother to like it a little bit) but now ii... I dont have anything nice to say about the actual thing or dear miranda BUT the fandom or at least a small few artists were actually really influential to me- to the point I can say the Hamilton fandom transed my gender (and minecraft roleplays made me gay yippie!)

[leitmotif]

why is it so fucking hard to make friends in college guys

[marzzrocks]

oh god i’m so bad at being a person and literally everyone can tell

[pissditching]

When i was in middle school i had autism and i got really into american history. I started wondering whether popular opinions about which presidents were good and bad was accurate, so i decided to read every piece of legislation and every executive order in us history to figure out objectively who was the best president. However there was the slight setback that each of these documents was hundreds of pages of dense legalese and there are thousands of them. I swung hard left in high school and realised that theres no such thing as a good president but i had already spent a year on that project and had to restart twice bc of calculating errors so i just kept doing it. Cut to today i have a spreadsheet with 1358 bills (not all of them. Its just not possible) and their impacts positives and negatives, and a list double that of executive orders. Its been three different presidents since i started.

dude holy fuck. i love autistic people