#my cousin has autism on my dads side

[kingofhearts709]

sometimes i wonder whether im just fucked in the head or if i really do have autism

[pollenallergie]

do people with adhd have special interests? do we do that? cause i’ve been in my free willy shark week marine biology era for a solid decade now and like shit has not changed.

[tittyinfinity]

My mom: I keep telling myself to get up and get things done, but I just can't make myself do anything so I've been scrolling on my phone for 6 hours. I'm always late for everything because of it, too.

Me: *stares into the camera*

My mom: back in my day, we didn't have "ADHD"

Me: You're right, depression didn't exist either until we invented a name for it. The world used to be a happy place, until the day the God of dictionary inscribed a curse into the sacred pages of language.

Mom: What the fuck are you talking about

[boneappleteethsplural]

serious post again, CW: brief mentions of suicide and death threats

i saw a post that stated "bullying alone can not cause USDD/OSDD" i dont remember the exact words but that was the jist of it.

kids are fucking brutal. story time! when we were in grade 10 (freshman year, i believe) we got our head slammed in a locker door. we got a concussion from that. we have permanent double vision, we had one surgery, and we have another lined up because it will not go away. we had to do a full year of eye therapy and exercises in an attempt to fix it that did not work. that same kid has been verbally tormenting us since before kindergarten. that kid has gotten multiple of our classmats to berate us and bring us down. that kid has genuinely caused us to consider suicide. he turned everyone against us, spread rumours, the works. we had NO friends from school. we never had anyone over for birthdays except cousins who were obligated to come. we never got invited to anyone elses birthday, because no one liked us. we were the 'weird kid' (undiagnosed autism, undiagnosed adhd, undiagnosed other disorders that fuck with our mind and make dayto day life more impossible than it is) no one ever wanted to be our friend we were isolated and neglected and! bullied! HARSHLY! PHYSICALLY HARMED by classmates. we are 20 years of age bodily, we have a few issues (that i will not name) that makes our mental age be the equivalent of 15-16. we will always be a few years behind our physical age. our mom says that once we turn 24, 25 that itll be easier to pretend we're the right age mentally. all of this shit got us bullied to the point where this other kid deemed it acceptable to screw up our fucking vision by smalling our head in a locker door when we bent down to pick up a binder and make our parents shell out fifty thousand+ dollars to try and fix it. you wanna know what they did to make sure we didnt get bullied again? took us out of the same classes and moved our locker. he didnt get suspended or expelled or even punished. the bullying stopped after we dropped out due to suicidal thoughts and self harming tendencies. we have not gone back, and we legally cant go back as we're legal adults now.

when our aunts went to school, they received threats such as "im going to bring my dads b*tch*r kn*fe to school and ch*p your head off". do you know how fucking upsetting that is to a child? do you know how terrified our aunts were when they got told things like that DAILY? they could not go to the teachers, because the teachers would step in, talk to the bully, and then the bully would call them tattletales and bully them harder.

we got hit with a motercycle by our brother and then got blamed for it. it wasnt our fault. we were on a bicycle, driving on the right side of the road, pretty much in the ditch. and he hit us and lied about it to our parents so he wasnt in trouble and they believed him and yelled at us and took our bike away. even lying like that can be horribly horriby damaging to a small child.

when youre a small child and dont have a big concept of 'things could be worse!' and stuff like that, bullying is a massive deal and it can, and has, driven people to suicide, kids recieve literal death threats and then dont tell people because they will get bullied harder. other kids will lie about big things and then you get blamed for something very serious that is not your fault. kids get physically harmed, and the teachers do nothing about it and the child learns early on that they are on their own. traumatizing, right? people also seem to forget that parents are the bullies sometimes. parents who bully their kids also count as bullying. bullying is bullying no matter who it is.

obviously our trauma and OSDD wasnt caused solely by bullying. we have a rough home life, our parents are actively preventing us from getting a job and moving out, but thats a story for another time or maybe even never. i dont mind sharing those three stories as they happened a long long time ago, we have come to terms with it and accepted that they happened. we cant do anything about it anymore.

dont share your trauma online unless you know for a fact you wont be bothered if someone attempts to harass you or use it against you, this was to prove a point and let people know how fucking awful and traumatizing bullying can be from anyone.

DISASSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDERS CAN BE CAUSED BY BULLYING.

[scleroticstatue]

A "back in my day wouldn't have autism, no it was just normal when great grandpa had autistic behaviors" video came up in my feed, and for some reason I feel compelled to share a story of my great aunt.

So, one family reunion, my dad's side got together for a week around the Fourth of July at this lakeside town in Michigan. We all decided to go see the parade, and my aunt decided to dress in three different and very clashing patterns of plaid (via kilt, socks, and hat) to show her Scottish heritage on America day, and in her mind, this was the height of American patriotism. Keep in mind that while we do have Scottish heritage, none of the plaids she was wearing were family clan tartans. They were, like, Walmart plaids. This has no real relevance to the story, but it is a very important part of it in my mind.

Well, we head down to the parade in our kitschy family reunion t-shirts which state "[Family Name] Established here," and while they will eventually have dozens of signatures from other family members on them, they don't at this moment, and we could very easily be mistaken for some restaurant or organization. We settle in to watch the parade, but the timing is off (a time before cell phones and Google maps meant little towns had logistical struggles occasionally) and so, about a third of the way through the parade, there's a gap on one float and the next.

Well, my aunt sees this as the perfect time to get everyone standing and moving. If by moving, you mean moving into the street and marching in the parade. And either all the adults in the room didn't comprehend what was happening until it was too late, or they were so used to her antics no one even considered stopping her. So me and my various cousins and aunts and uncles joined the parade, like some unknown business attempting to advertise themselves, waving at the onlookers we had started the morning as.

Anyway. As long as you act confidently enough, no one will question you. Even when they should.

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

all the normal people create lore for side characters that turn up for one event and didn't even get a live2D model. anyways, Hibiki Miyake headcanons!!

firstly: this is the main silly headcanon, that he and Kohane are related, cousins probably- same demeanour, same vibes, same creatureness, similar face. bad eyesight runs in the family too

he lives with Kohane's family because he's orphaned. his mother and her father were siblings

he looks up to Kohane's dad a lot and does a bit of photography too, not as much as the rest of his family though

he's not much taller than Kohane so people always mistake him to be her little brother even though he's a year older

silly coincidence, he has the exact same birthday as Kohane, 2nd of March, just a year before

extremely ironically, he has a phobia of snakes so he avoids being in the same room as Count Pearl at all costs. once, she ended up in his room and he immediately collapsed, then upon waking up, he found that the snake had slithered on him and fainted again. Kohane was apologising for weeks

he lets Kohane drag him along to her visits at PXL, however, he often ends up running into Rui who very sneakily gets him caught up in a conversation and steals him away to watch W x S rehearse. he accidentally ditches her zskcqascngoepsexmpwqeq (shhh it's okay, Kohane can just call An who'll run across the city to accompany her in two minutes)

he's scared of the other VBS members xsidtfncerjitweorspjwpw

speaking of VBS, he wants to support his cousin, but he's too sensitive to noise and crowds to watch their events in person himself, but he still buys tickets and gives them to his friends

he's always telling Kohane about everything that goes down in Kamikou. this disappoints An because Kohane already knows all the drama before she gets a chance to tell her xjkudiguvoirentjepw

An: "Kohaneeeeee, you'll never guess what i caught Kamishiro-senpai doing today!!"

Kohane: "oh, i've heard!! he was disassembling a mean teacher's desk, wasn't he? :)"

An: "HOW DID YOU KNOW??"

Kohane: "i have connections, An-chan :)"

VBS didn't know that Kohane had a cousin at Kamikou for agessssssss

she wanted to introduce them, especially because they all go to the same school. but that was exactly why Miyake wanted to avoid that because of the anxiety and awkwardness of seeing people you know from school outside of school

VBS found out one day when they saw Rui in town and Kohane was going to go say hi (interaction idea from @slightlytoastedbagel )

Akito: "yo, Kohane, you want to stay away from that guy, he's proper odd"

Kohane: "... eh? Kamishiro-san is one of my cousin's best friends though??"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

Toya, who just knows everything: "oh yes, you're related to Miyake-senpai, right Azusawa? :)"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

he initially went to the same "elite" high school that Rui did in his first year, but left way before him, only a couple of months in, because he was getting bullied

it was said in the last chapter of Pandemonium that he wanted to be friends with Rui but took ages to reach out to him because Rui was always invested in his drones and seemed disinterested in everything else

for this reason, i feel like he regrets not finding the courage to befriend him sooner now that they're no longer in the same class

he goes shopping with Rui, Taniyama and Hayashi on weekends, they're all interested in computers and such

he and Taniyama are both a bit jel that Hayashi got to be in the same class as Rui and Tsukasa for third year

Rui just goes around visiting all his friends who are in different classes (ahem, Nene) and Miyake's always very happy upon seeing his purple friend being silly outside his classroom's window (and then his teacher shoos him away for being distracting)

he's asexual and panromantic

has severe social anxiety and is on the spectrum but undiagnosed (he went under the radar his whole life because he's "quiet") his special interest in technology was why he felt drawn to Rui. autism to autism communication

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

I have recently (within the last 5 months) been diagnosed with many mental disorders (adhd, ocd, depression, anxiety, ptsd, and possibly bipolar 1) but they won’t take me seriously when I mention the possibility of autism (I am a 24 y/o female). My father, brother, and all of my cousins on my dads side have it but no one is taking my concern seriously (except for my mother who has thankfully been advocating for me since I was a child). I’m just curious on if you have any tips on how to get them to even consider the possibility of autism. I’ve been recommended for an evaluation before in the past but that’s being overlooked. I’m honestly at a loss and would love some advice if you have any. Thank you!

Hi there,

I don’t know you or your family personally, and the process of the evaluation has changed since I was diagnosed back in 2009, so this is a tough question to answer. Maybe some of my followers have of tips/tricks?

I’m very sorry that I can’t answer your question. But I appreciate the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[peachesancreams]

Dc brain worm

I’m almost done w/ Alastors death fic I PROMISE but

I had an idea cause Ive been reading a lot of Batfam, which can make me cry or be super wholesome! Batmom will always be pleasant to read for me, but I personally never desired kids much less a literal milita unit of them

WHICH LEAD ME TO

ECCENTRIC BATAUNTIE or BATUNCLE

a second or third removed cousin on Bruce’s Dads side (I always liked the idea of Martha being the true Wayne and Thomas taking her name)

only found out they were related because they did one of those DNA tests for fun. Stressed about trying to reach out cause how many have probably tried laying about this very thing? Of course eventually ends up trying cause some family is better then none right?

In the age of social media it’s just a matter of getting the right account email or number, but given it’s Bruce they probably have to find Lucius or Alfred. they WOULD NOT reach out to the kids. even the adult ones. cause that’s kinda creepy and not their job to let them know of potential family members

OR

Grandpa Wayne disowned his first daughter from an arranged marriage, remarried then has Martha. Martha as an adult finds out about her fathers previous marriage and reaches out to her older sister wanting to connect/is generally curious about her sister

they both are married with kids and after realizing there’s no bad blood between them decided to have their kids meet!

baby Bruce was a know it all and no one can change my mind, while his cousin was thought walls were blank canvases ✨

I do see them getting along purely because of Autism to Autism communication(like lil brucie teaching his new cousin ASL so they can both be nonverbal together but still tell people what’s wrong is v v important to me)

and no I won’t take any criticism on Autistic Bruce, I know what a masking adult look like and that BITCH is one of us

ANYWAY ill go more into either one, might play around w/ both scenarios or just one idk yet

[loominggaia]

darkwingphoenix As an autistic person (Also the one who looked at Skylie for 2 seconds and said Me), I'd say Sygbarne fits low functioning autism pretty well! (Hedge says High Maintenance, me says Low Functioning... I guess we just learned different terminology? Still, Sygbarne fits) Also, she specifically seems like my cousin, who's actually Low Functioning as well! Autism seems to run on my dad's side of the family. Although luckily for him, my cousin wasn't locked in a tower while quacks strung my aunt and uncle on. I should also mention I have two cousins like this. Both on my dad's side, and both are cousins to each other. Both are pretty low IQ (I don't know how low, but definitely less than a 5th grader. Maybe)

-----

Thank you for your experienced input, this stuff is so valuable to me! If the shoe fits, then I will go ahead and say low functioning/high maintenance autism is officially Sygbarne's condition.

Story-wise, I need a condition that impairs her ability to learn language (so that she can't call for help or explain herself effectively) but still allows her to yell (to pique Blomi's curiosity). I need her to have poor control over her own behavior, so even once she's free from her tower, her rescuers have a hard time keeping her safe as they transport her somewhere where she can be taken care of properly (the main adventure of the story involves chasing after her as she gets into all kinds of trouble).

Sygbarne is not a bad person and she's not trying to be "difficult", she's just literally never been outside her tower before. She was born there and her parents intend for her to grow old and die there. I imagine the open world is equally overwhelming and exciting for her. I think seeing the world of Looming Gaia through her eyes would be super interesting, so I want her story to be focused around that concept.

Some form of autism with intellectual disability seems to fit the bill. If she has autism-related sensory issues, it may explain why she frequently runs away or attacks people. She's not malicious at all, she's just struggling with a health condition and never got the proper help to manage it.

*

Questions/Comments?

Lore Masterpost

Read the Series

[finniestoncrane]

I fuckin feel you about the autism interview thing Finnie! I was diagnosed with adhd when I was a kid, and my mom, whose side of the family I am convinced it comes from (lots of male cousins on her side have it) has blinders on about having it herself. And my dad is dead (thank god for small mercies) but he was. Hmm. Trains. Would go off and disappear out of nowhere. Very sensitive to sound, hence he was a sound engineer. Like. Should I go on???

But also I hella relate to the whole remembering things about people you shouldn’t have picked up on. Also I feel like everyone else has a manual on how to people.

Also when I take my adhd meds they unmask the autism hiding underneath and. Hahaha

oh for sure when i learned that it is often genetic a LOT of things started falling into place on my mum's side of the family lmaooo (also please thank god for small mercies that killed me kjjkhkjhasd)

i think my mum's thing is that (for example) because she also feels nauseous and wants to cry and cut her skin off because her socks are making her feel claustrophobic and because she doesn't think she is on the spectrum somewhere, that it's a normal and reasonable reaction to have like???

genuinely feel like i'm REALLY good at empathy and REALLY good at being social on a superficial level because i've spent my entire life trying to figure it out and working three times as hard as NT people to get to that point, but it fuckin exhausts me

i will not be getting an adhd diagnosis anytime soon, but luckily the anxiety meds kind of lessen the stress on that a bit. however i've started unmasking on my own and it is LIFE CHANGING if not... a little bit stressful in front of people who aren't my husband kjkjhjkasd

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

I had a rough week last week. Tuesday my dog gets sick, so I look up her symptoms. And bc I'm a crazy person, my mind automatically latched onto the worst possibility. So I spent three hours crying hysterically and having panic attacks bc I was so scared she would die. Then Wednesday I had to take my dog to vet and was still super stressed out. Thursday and Friday I have to deal with medicaid and disability paperwork. Saturday I had a panic attack so bad that I couldn't stop it and had to text my brother to come help me (he lives with me. we're too poor to live without a roommate, and we've basically lived together our whole lives, so it was whatever). Sunday morning I have a panic attack and can't leave my house to play my weekly dnd game bc the thought of spending hours with other people away from home was...bad. Sunday night, I got completely (and irrationally) terrified of being alone. I was so afraid that I called my mom, and of course she offers to come over. And I'm freaking out so bad I let her, even though it was late and I know she has to get up early for work. (She only stayed until my brother got back around 10:30)

BUT, today is a new day. I managed to get my blood work done today, and talk on the phone to my case worker, and pick up a pair of contacts from my eye doctor to wear until my order comes in. And I didn't have a panic attack. I mean, I still had to have my dad take me, bc leaving home alone isn't something I can do right now. (Mentally or physically. My brother's car broke down, and since he's the one who has a job, he's been using mine. i stg it's like a fucking family curse; every time someone is already in a financial bind, their car will break down.)

So I have decided to take the next few days to just relax. My two besties that I've been friends with since middle school both have kids with autism and they said I'm probably going through autistic burn-out. I'm pretty sure I'm autistic and my doctor thinks I'm somewhere on the spectrum, though on the lower support side. I'm gonna play bg3, and unwind. And try to work on some fic. (bc I have the next chapter of 16 Days damn near finished, and it's the last chapter that ties up the current plot, then there's an epilogue that takes place later that played out like a movie in my head, so writing it will be a breeze.)

Side note, did y'all know that some school systems still use 'high/low functioning'. I've had to say to my coworkers that autistic people would prefer not to use those terms. But it isn't surprising; one of my cousin's kids was literally diagnosed with Asperger's. Which has fallen under the autism spectrum disorder since like, forever ago. And also there was a TA in the autism classroom I worked in once who literally told me that autism was caused by demonic possession. I'm so glad I left the school system. Bc I eventually was going to fucking explode with rage after the way my kids were treated. (My students, not my actual kids. I don't have or want any)

Working in EC has really shown me how little the school system actually cares about helping the disabled; they will cut corners and do shit that 'technically' meets a kid's IEP, but doesn't do a damn thing to help them. And if you say something like, 'i don't think that counts' your coworkers will not be happy. But to a certain degree you can't be too mad, bc there is literally not enough time or resources to meet every child's needs, bc they cram as many kids in one EC classroom as possible, hire the minimum amount of TAs required by law and expect one teacher to be able to magically meet all their needs. My last job had 3 kids in wheelchairs in those tiny ass mobile units schools started using, that literally did not have room to move around, unless the other students stood up to let them get by, and sometimes even move their desk. We had multiple kids with autism. One of them stimmed by screaming, another was triggered by loud noises.

This post kinda went off on a tangent. Anyway, heads up to any parents who have kids starting school, make sure you get a copy of your child's IEP. If you think they aren't being serviced, contact your local Board of Education, and tell them that you have a child with an IEP who isn't receiving adequate services. Then threaten to sue them if they don't start providing your kid their services. It does not matter if you can actually afford to sue them or not, an IEP is a legally binding document. You have the right to sue, and most of the time the threat alone is enough to kick their ass into gear.

[e-icreator23]

Vent again. If you cant read it. Wither: You can't let him do that! He can't be banging or throwing stuff! You think its funny but its- D-d:You need to stop being a drama queen. It doesn't mean anything! Stop it. Where did banging and throwing things get bad? (where did you get that from?!) He's not doing any harm Wither:But it sounds like he's trying to break his controller! [He has a PS5] B-o: WHAT DO YOU CARE?! YOU HAVE A MASK ON AND YOUR A JUNIOR! ITS CRINGY! Wither: And you're a sophomore! You should know not to- B-o: Shut up! No one asked! Aren't you embarrassed?!! This is what happened right now. My brother started to rage at a game and from my room, it sounded like he was banging his controller. I came out to see whats going on and he was yelling before this and hitting something. I told my sister to go to her room and that he was acting stupid. He got mad and insulted me and said I am a nobody and I am embarrassing. My sister got scared from him yelling so got my dad who was drinking. He came it and my brother went back to the game he was getting mad at for loosing and he laughed about it. I told him what happened and he still laughed about it. I got mad since he lets them both get away with things like this and I am tired of the insults. I hate that once they know I will be married to a woman that they won't want me around since like my brother has said and I shit you not he said this word for word "FAGS ARE MENTAL. THEY AREN'T HUMAN" My dad constantly wonders why one of his cousins who came out to them is never around, I can't blame, not at all. It's because none of them support them! They outright show they disappointed in them! My brother says that my dad and him HATE people who are gay or anything relating to it with a passion. They are more concerned of how they look than about anything else, my brother has to constantly remind me that I am more on the bigger side and that he's so embarrassed about it! He said that he will never say hi to me during school even when I say hi, he acts like he doesn't know me and says to others that he doesn't know me. He likes to make fun of me saying I won't get anyone. And even if I do, they will leave me since they never really loved me. I am so tired of this. I want to leave so bad but If I try to leave with another family member then my dad will start to guilt trip me and I don't want to leave because I don't want to leave my friends yet. I know I'm a damn disappointment to them. I know that shit but I have to be reminded over and over and over again. No wonder why I'm distant with them. I try so hard at school to make them proud but it can never make it last. I won first place somewhere big in my state but just "oh nice". thats it. I get Honor roll. "good and stay like that" I am so tired of it and I know I am still gonna push myself to try and get good grades but I know nothing I do will ever be good enough to make them proud of me. They ask why is it hard for me to talk to people, no shit its hard because If I say anything wrong to them, I would get hit. I would get yelled at for saying anything wrong. They told me I am not allowed to tell anyone about my situation, I can't talk to my councilors about this, I cant ask for help. Not even online. If I say something wrong, I feel like they would hate me. If I do something they don't like then I'm the piece of shit. I know they have said that I can talk to them but I feel like I cant since I dont know what they will say. I am scared, I am so fucking scared. I know non of them are bad or anything I am just terrified of them since they are so amazing and I can never amount to them in any way. I don't know what to do. If I eat how I normally do, im told to stop. My health problems are my fault and yeah maybe they are. but still at least be semi nice but no he makes fun of me that I cant breath right. To them ADHD and autism arent real. it's fake so people can be lazy. If I am friends with anyone who's like that then im the weirdo. I'm stupid to even get near them. im so done.

[gothlovecore]

u should tell abt ur firecracker cookie headcanons and stuff... im interested....

My Firecracker has a bunch of headcanons that I have been developing for three years so sorry if this is all over the place. Basic Headcanons - Full name is Firecracker Pop Rocks Cookie. Genderfluid mostly and goes by any pronouns. - Is half cookie/half alien (Ophidian but that’s another post) -Is 13 years old currently and have two birthdays (one being their release date and the other being July 4th) - Have ADHD, Autism, and PTSD. Suffers from strong abandonment issues and RSD. - DJ and them are biologically first cousins but due to issues with Firecracker’s parents, DJ’s mom adopted them and they were raised as siblings. - Birthday and DJ together help raise them when DJ moves out of their mom’s place. Birthday was a childhood friends of DJ’s and were first hired as a babysitter - A lot of their issues stem from their Dad, Rock Candy Cookie, randomly disappearing when they were five. Their mom wasn’t fit to be a parent due to her work and other things. - Despite how they act, They’re actually very smart cookie who’s very good with technology, science and math. They just prefer other things than school.

Family history - Firecracker and DJ comes from a (cursed) Blasian wealthy family. Firecracker’s mom, Konpeito Cookie, is a famous fashion model while their dad is a bio-engineer. DJ’s Mom, Sour Punch Cookie,  is a famous Singer/ Music Artist. - No one really knows where Rock Candy came from and are often confused by his mannerisms. Konpeito just showed up with him one day, saying that they were dating. Then came marriage…and then came Little baby Firecracker. - Rock Candy’s real name is Pink Tourmaline and he’s actually part of an alien race called the Ophidians. He was exiled to Earthbread due to political issues of his home planet. The reason for his disappearance is that he’s in hiding from the royals of said planet and wanted Firecracker to live a normal life as a cookie. Ophidian (short) introduction The Ophidians are an alien race of beings who are crystalline and reptilian in nature. Their bodies seem to be made up of gem-like structures. They are able to shift their appearance from anthropomorphic reptiles and the cookie-like form. Their government is split in half, one side being ruled by their Queen and the other by their King. Because of the feud between them, they are currently having a long civil war on their planet. I will probably make a more detailed post for them if people are interested.

[valleyfthdolls]

when the spirals are spiraling idk i never read it (this is an invitation to talk abt whatever you want abt spiral 👍👍)

HI CALICO

Ok so I’ve talked to you a bit about Spiral before but a significant amount has changed, so instead of actually explaining anything I’m just gonna throw Amaya at you.

Amaya Izumi (she/they) is a 19 year old college student with PTSD, BPD, autism, and chronic fatigue syndrome. She’s the only child of Seiko and Kenji Izumi, the latter of whom is in the army- just like his father- and the cause of Amaya’s PTSD. (Not due to abuse or anything, it’s a complicated story.) She carries a lot of fear for her family’s safety due to things that her family has suffered through and how that’s all culminated with her, is very emotional with a strong sense of justice and morality, and has an absolutely debilitating fear of death and letting others down. She has like two friends and one of them is her cousin on her mom’s side. Her dad on the other hand is an only child because his sister Hana was murdered when she was eight. Horrible segue I know.

Amaya’s aunt Hana was murdered via a bomb when she was eight years old. Due to the nature of her murder and the fact that the killer had taken the lives of like four other people, most of whom were also children and died from the same bomb, a lot of suspects were considered, including one named Adem Tristan. He was eventually cleared of any suspicion, but Amaya’s grandfather Hiroto, not believing that Adem was innocent, stabbed and killed him. Because of this, Hiroto was arrested and discharged from the military. He maintains that he did the right thing.

Amaya holds onto a lot of trauma from all of this, including from Hana’s death, to the point that she feels as though Hana is physically haunting her. (She is not.) Amaya’s paternal grandparents don’t even see her as a person, but rather an extension of Hana, which definitely doesn’t help her anxiety about her safety because they see Hana as having been a sacrifice to keep their family protected. Because they’re normal and can handle the fact that their daughter was senselessly and violently murdered. All of this has made Amaya’s anxiety unbearable, to the point that she is known to have an irrational fear of thunderstorms because the thunder and lightning triggers her fear of explosions and bombs.

Unknowingly, Amaya carries the weapon that Adem was murdered with on her person regularly. When she was thirteen, her father gave her a hunting knife of his that Hiroto had given him, telling her she could carry it to keep herself safe so he could protect her even when he was gone. Due to Amaya’s fear of death and anxiety about her safety as well as that of her family, she keeps the knife on her person.

Her character arc focuses mostly on her fears and anxieties. When it becomes apparent that they have a potential serial killer on their hands, Amaya wants nothing more than to keep everyone else safe, even at her own expense. Most of this just leads to her self punishing for not being able to do anything by continuing to expose herself to this dangerous and really terrifying situation as she tries to help others, believing that she is responsible for them. Her best friend and love interest Sayren Fu (made by @helluvathing!!) wants nothing more than for Amaya to be safe. It becomes a point of contention and tension in their relationship, and eventually Sayren wins this fight- a massive blow to Amaya’s self worth that they don’t recognize at first because it’s overshadowed by fear for her safety- but shortly after that, Sayren gets roped into it, and they get separated, leading to Amaya having to face her fears alone. With nowhere else to turn, she has to confront all of it, and she ends up being instrumental in stopping the murders. She also has this super cool scene I have planned out where she confronts Akki, protagonist and villain, and she has the most hard fucking line in that scene- “you are not your mother, and I am not my aunt. Like it or not, Akki, we had a choice, and you made yours.”

[agents-are-dicks]

Small rant about my mother/autism:

Obsessed with the fact that my mom insists that her church friend’s son is autistic bc he figured out how to steal from an atm but refuses to believe her own daughter, who has sensory issues, horrible social skills/understanding, has had the same special interest since she was 3, is a “picky eater”, had multiple meltdowns/tantrums growing up bc the environment I was in was too much for me to process, actively enjoys/is calmed by organizing and lining things up, can’t make eye contact to save her life, and had multiple teachers/counselors tell her that I was a bit “off” but it’s okay bc my pattern recognition skills were off the charts which meant I must be some kind of genius! - is. Apparently she even had a a friend at work and a therapist she was seeing suggest it when I was having trouble in middle school but she shot down the idea bc my cousin (dads side- not the one I’ve complained about here) is autistic but only bc her mom smoked during pregnancy and there’s no way it was genetic at all. First of all, have you met your father in law and your husband? Second of all, your friend has THREE autistic children despite never smoking or drinking bc it runs on their fathers side. Do you not think she might’ve know what she was talking about?!?!!?

[crittrscorner]

breaks my heart to know that both my little brother and my cousin would be way funnier than me on here...... I'M the gay autistic cousin / brother (literally everyone in my family on my dad's side has autism and is a little bit gay)