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one of the funniest things I see people say about "standard english" btw is californians who are like "yeah basically all american english speakers speak the same way so it makes sense to call that 'standard american english'" because you know they only perceive it that way because californian english has like every single vowel merger simultaneously so they can't tell the difference between other american english varieties. they're fish who don't know they're wet

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reblog to stir prev occasionally

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i am an admitted summer girly but i have to say. winter food??? .... i have no arguments. divine. otherworldly. an absolute lineup of treasure. stew. mac & cheese. soups. hot cocoa. roast beast and who-hash. girl i quake. i feel like a mouse in a redwall book. fuckken rubbing my hands together with glee. my friend offered me a second snickerdoodle and my gay ass chuckled, "don't mind if i do." not a hint of fuckken irony. and you know what ???? DONT MIND IF I DO!!!!!!!!!!!

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My conduct this year landed me on Santa Claus's fabled and controversial "Kill-at-all-Costs" List. Turns out the reason the big man and his people don't exercise that option more often is that they really aren't good at following through on it. Well outside their core competency. He's delegated to the elves, and they've got this ingrained assembly-line mindset that doesn't translate at all to the adaptable and fluid mindset needed for siege breaking. They just haven't adjusted their playbook at all from when they're doing rote deliveries. Armed Elves have been rappelling down my chimney one at a time into the roaring fire I've kept going nonstop for the last week. They haven't even thought to try my front door yet. Whole house smells like peppermint, which it turns out is what burnt elf meat smells like. Thought I was being super clever putting cyanide-laced almond milk out with the cookies as a last line of defense, but none of them have made it even the scant few feet to the side table where that's sitting. At the rate things are going the real danger is that I'm gonna forget what I did with that and accidentally drink it myself while I'm watching the show

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they're prepping me for autopsy but i sit up and say "oh no thank you" and walk out of the room

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Do you like faeries? Noir detective fiction? Immersive theater? Circus games? Music and dance?

Since you're following us, we're going to assume your answer is "yes" to all of the above. If you'd like to see all of these things rolled into one delightful evening, come see The Lost Inn at the San Francisco Mint January 23-25 & January 30-February 1, 2025!

Walker and I had the absolutely wonderful experience of writing and performing the live musical score for this production earlier this year, and we're so excited that we get to do it again. If you're in the area next month, we'd love for you to come and see it!

<3 Kit

Photos by Reese Brindisi

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wish we had more internal organ emojis

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Me when I have to be at work but I want to be on a path in the woods and at the end of that path is a cabin and in the basement of that cabin is a princess. But instead of being there to slay her I'm at work to. Do my job or something. Maybe I should slay my manager

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hey don't know if you knew this but op of that post you just reblogged is actually a kbity cat :/ yeah with paws. and pointy ears yeah

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dude i just had the funniest premonition of your death

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What if I put my boss in the deep fryer.

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What if I put my boss in the deep fryer.

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What if I put my boss in the deep fryer.

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What if I put my boss in the deep fryer.

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What if I put my boss in the deep fryer.