#thats incredible im so happy
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
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#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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the crows would have absolutely loved monopoly
#i feel so sad they never got to play#au where all they do. every day. is play monopoly#thats the heist thats the plot#them enjoying and bickering#all six of them#cuz all six are happy and alive#(im ignoring kiwi sorry guys)#kaz would get waaaaaay too into it#wylan would be incredible#he memorises the property names based off the colours#nina doesnt even care about winning she just buys the properties that kaz goes for#they never let jesper be banker even though he begs to be every time#the only person who can be banker is matthias#inej secretly moves her piece extra steps during other people's turns and only kaz realises#but he doesn't say anything even though he wants to win#the winner is almost always either kaz or wylan#inej comes close a few times#jesper has never once won but still claims he's best#nina tries to seduce matthias into giving her more money#it (almost) never works#soc#six of crows#ck#crooked kingdom#kaz#inej#kaz brekker#kanej#matthias helvar#jesper
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Three more days for sunkel week. Im too lazy as to post them separately. Mischief/errands (day 2), Late nights (day 3), Birthday (Day 4)
#omori fanart#omori#suntan omori#omori suntan#sunkel omori#sunkelweek2024#omori sunkel#omori kelsun#kelsun omori#caprisun omori#omori caprisun#kel omori#omori kel#omori sunny#sunny omori#sunny x kel#kel x sunny#cactulip omori#omori cactulip#THE SECOND ONE WAS INCREDIBLY RUSHED AND IM SORRY IF IT LOOKS FUNKY (in a bad way) I WAS SPEED RUNNING IT AT LIKE 10 PM#i am. so tired#and im making more new omori aus i will actually go insane and thats not even a joke. save me.#my brain is like a pair of maracas right now. it go chachacha duhduhduh!!!!!!!#i hallucinated hellmari on my door yesterday uhhhhhhhhhhh yea i need to get checked out.#happy birthday sunny
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OC !
#my characters#i missed her so much wowee#her name is katale and thats what she goes by EXCEPT her best friend (and ex boyfriend and boss) who gets to call her kitty#hes just like the all around best guy in her life and she loves him a whole lot#and even though they broke up they have a very loving friendship and shes like#oh i would absolutely kill for him and in fact i am VERY good at killing im honing my skills :3#and her family is actually just a bunch of criminals and the only reason the other guy gets involved#is bc he needs fast money to help his mom with hospital bills and so hes like hey my mom doesnt need to know how shes alive#and then he somehow becomes head honcho and is a rumored to be ruthless man#but hes just incredibly level headed and able to think his way up (and kills a few unpleasant family members for kitty)#and if shes running out and about you can even hear him say shit like#my wife left me i miss my wife#and everyone knows he means katale but no one knows how to react bc its clearly a joke (???) since they broke up#but no one is telling their boss to elaborate the wife situation#kitty however is the entire reason that she gets this lil puppy of an agent to not kill rudyard her dear boss#and somehow they adopt this grown man and also his really weird mentor who faked their death#but they love their puppy son boy agent man#and kitty is super happy to dote on the agent but even she has her lines like WHY DID YOU JUST HAND HIM A GUN#RUDYARD HE TRIED TO KILL YOU LIKE LAST MONTH WHAT ARE YOU DOING#and rudyard is just ??? can i NOT shove a gun into his hands now? what is that? a crime? really? gonna tell on me? a criminal? for crimes?#but genuinely it stresses her out bc she loves her adopted son but loves her best friend and eventually she realizes#ok puppy agent man is loyal to them but not a criminal thats ok#while rudyard is like ... passing him guns to try out as a bonding thing#but also he is fascinated with how good the agents aim is like hey kitty you should watch how far he can shoot perfectly#hey kitty remember all those dead underlings and how precise their kills were to make them not suffer this guy is really good#also for what its worth ruds mom is still alive! shes just in a nursing home now and he goes to visit her#kitty and rudyard have such a fun dynamic to me and both are murderers but its okay (its not)#also kitty likes anime and she has forced rud to watch anime with her and he just accepts his fate#bc it makes kitty happy to share so he will watch to make her happy even if he doesnt understand all the appeal
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COME ON BOARD AND BRING ALONG ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS...! stickers here in my shop until oct 17 🏴☠️
#one piece#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#nami#nico robin#usopp#tony tony chopper#franky one piece#at the time i made this in april. i think i was only at water 7#im at marineford rn? just finishing up impel down. hoo boy what an arc with fantastic side characters#me and my sibling have been watching together for like 1.5-2 years now?#you might think thats slow but. we watch a lot of other stuff. not just 1 show. haha#one piece is incredible like. i keep wondering. if i had gotten into this series at the same time as fma (my no. 1 favourite shounen manga)#- i think i might even like op more than fma. wild to think#im very happy these did so well at anime north this summer......#im scared to delve into fandoms so vastly different than the sort of indie/video game/niche kind of fandoms people followed me for haha.
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Sometimes I genuinely have to avoid Will Wood at all cost cause I would be scrolling through posts and think like "hmmm o wow ok... ok cool... cool... wait... he's too cool actually.... oh.. oh mY GODAHSISJJSJS" and then I die
#will wood#wwattw#wee woo#this is so stupid#Not to mention the posts about fans meeting him#LIKE. THATS GREAT MAN. IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. BUT I AM ALSO SO INCREDIBLY SAD.
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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[ store ] 🌱 october update ❥ new: ↳ houseplant charms
❥ bg3 merch added!! ↳ astarion sticker sheet 🔪🩸 ↳ origin companion tamagotchi charms ↳ us charm 🧠(self indulgent) ↳ portrait prints
🌱 SHOP 🌱 peachcott.bigcartel.com you can use code BITING for 10% off for the rest of october!! i hope you find something you like :D
#store#cott.txt#bg3#mine#HEHEHE THESE WERE SO FUN TO WORK ON AAUUGHGHGH HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY#im so thrilled abt the astarion stickers i cant WAIT to get my hands on them#they're also available for free as discord emotes / stickers via my kofi!! i'll make a separate post abt that 🙏#the us charm is incredibly self indulgent. im not sure theres anyone in this world other than me who wants it#but i DO want it!!! and thats enough to justify it existing :3#THANK U FOR LOOKING AT MY THINGS I HOPE U LIKE THEM!!#the tamagotchis will be available at adelaide and brisbane supanova in nov#and the rest will be here for melbourne ozcc xmas in dec!
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Don't mean to brag about my cats but I literally have the two best cats in the world. Much love and respect to cats that are standoffish and need space and aren't cuddly like they are just as valid and deserving of love if thats just their personality ❤️ but luckily when people are like my cat hates being touched im like that's just not my life I have two puppy dogs who lay on me and purr and love to be pet on the belly. One sleeps in my arms every night and nuzzles my face and licks me and the other routinely finds me and screams at me until I pick him up and hold him like a baby and he purrs and purrs and like I Cannot even lie to you it's so awesome. I am really happy that they're just like that
#also i said this before but when people are like oh orange cat behavior haha orange cats are insane im like well mine are not like that.#mine are incredibly chill and just hang out all day and dont get into any mischeif at all.#anyway its great having cats this affectionate cuz i just feel very valued. like a dog is gonna act like that no matter what but#i must be doing something rights if my cats are so happy so im like Yay :) my babies#theyre my world i gotta make them happy . i dont even spoil them that much though i think theyre just nice#anyways I LOVE THEMMM!!!! im so proud of them for being so sweet and awesome#so i will brag about them a little bit. theyre perfect#oh also they love eachother so much thats the best thing
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My lyrics for Double!! I really loved this song and became like a thousand times more impressed by Deco27 and Natsuki Hanae after working with it for so long 😅 I chickened out of recording this one in the apartment but if anyone wants to cover it... lmk.... 👀 I can definitely put something together to help hear how the rhythms work, because I got it all to line up very nicely! (Lyrics under the cut and my little commentary in the tags)
(I’ve got you, leave it to me!)
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Not a smile in this mess, you're doing your best, you say (wake up)
"Don't need a break" as you proceed to start breaking, both sleeping and waking makes you bleed
And now, reborn anew -- I'll take in on for you
Not your plan? Who gives a damn, I'm here and here is where I'll stay
It's just the two of us, nothing left to run from. You're safe now, your hero's come.
All I did was dream, is that a crime? Is that enough to name me guilty by?
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
Ah, I'm the one that saved you, don't you see? So tell me why the hell you cry to me!
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- oh, sing to me.
Welcome home, it's another day, keeping things at bay, you see no change
Too late, your limits passed. Too late, yourself has cracked (goodnight)
If you persist I'll assist with releasing, keeping your peace is why I exist
And now reborn anew -- I'll take it on for you
(Oh, hello? Mom? It’s been a while. Yeah.. well, I mean, some days are hard but I’m doing alright, don’t worry. How’ve you been? I’ll go home next time I get some time off...)
The reason I'm alive, must be making sure that you survive
"He can't be trusted, he lied," you cried. Made me out as the bad guy. But why?
All I did was dream, did you forget? Go on and forgive me, I'm no threat.
Listen to me confess, honest. Eat your words and I bet, regret
Ah, I just tried to help, tried to be strong. So tell me why the hell it's all gone wrong
Let me hear you revel, grateful, cling to me with "savior," "adore" -- don't sing me this song
Lost my memory
I'm double, it was unavoidable
Living painfully
I'm trying, as hard as possible
Tell me, tell me.
If I wasn't born, maybe this trouble --
Tell me, tell me.
It's all my fault
#milgram#mikoto kayano#lyrics#i feel bad it cut in front of the other milgram songs but it was a lot easier than the others#(not that it was easy by any means but the other ones are giving me even more trouble asdfsdf)#but yeah!!! im so happy with these!!!#i will forever be jealous of the rhyming in the original refrain --#nante itte/natte nande/datte sugatte/utatte tatte IS SO WONDERFULLY SATISFYING#it makes me crazyyyyyy#i know i dont get half that fun in mine but im still really satisfying with the rhymes/phrasing#wtf is going on in the rest of the song 😭 i came for the incredible refrain and had to deal with all That......#the 'dont need a break' and 'if you persist' lines gave me so much trouble 😭 he just keeps on going.....#i took a bit of a liberty with the 'sing to me' line because every version of 'thatd be good' sounded so lame 😅#trying to do some kind of play on sing your sins while its john really wanting to communicate but idk if that worked#an unintended but exciting detail is 'you say' sounding like 'you say wake up' rather than 'you say dont need a break'#since thats right when he wakes john up so to speak#any milgram pals who want to sing -- these are always open to use >:3
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Anyone else remember the little 88x31 buttons from older internet days? I've been remembering them a lot lately.
I make ffxiv ones in msp when I'm in queue or my bf is flying me around between quests.
#shoutout to anyone else who actually uses leg graze#i originally did just the two korpokkur but i made the yukinko this afternoon and its easily my favorite of the 3#and i love the moogles but they dont really fit as a button? maybe i should just make a few more stamps as a series#im not happy with the tomestone - the circuitry feels out of place to me. i want to find some other way to frame it in the button#carrots was last night because we were working on lopporit msq :3#i love the goobbue. i love goobbues ever since ffxi they're so chill#i wanna make a version of the rotting goobbue in amdapor#i love that one too#my art#88x31#idk what to tag this... its technically pixal art but i always have imposter syndrom bc i see people do INCREDIBLE pixel art illustrations#and this is just like... myspace webring hobbyist stuff#ffxiv#ill post them on twitter and bsky when i do a few more i think - right now theyre only in my carrd#and carrd makes them look really crunchy. im scared what tumblr is gonna do to them when i hit post#and i just really really really hate the sound /sweep makes - i think it should count as griefing to afk in public spaces doing it#but thats just my unpopular opinion as someone with audio sensitivity. the emote should not loop
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but it is extremely funny that when mal finally gives up the ghost and says something about the a at the end of his name the only reaction he gets is jade going "dat's nice :) 👍" and polly going "yeah yeah whatever. huh i'd be cleaning the toilets right about now"
#like several gender/sexuality reveals in mr retroactively change the context of EVERYTHING that came before but mal is just like. ok#still he/him-ing on principle its not even what i personally think but like with mal. im with polly on this one#like happy for you buddy but like 9 people have come out today. i think i gotta clean the toilets tomorrow#monstrous regiment#maladict#the way people play it fast and loose with pronouns when discussing mal online is so incredible to me like thats#thats exactly what happened in the book. it doesnt even matter you know SOMETHING is going on there#discworld
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Symbols of Death
#asoiaf#jon snow#ghost the direwolf#tw blood#just in case idk#red my beloved if i could kiss you i would#changing from the big screen of my ipad to the small screen of my phone#for thus drawing specifically#is so incredibly jarring idk how to feel#thats my son and his son 🥺#i spent too long trying to male it look like a red light behind them#and im still not completely happy but ill get better#asoiaf fanart
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...
#oh lads. lads. lads. lads. im being sucked back into the world of academia#i dont even kno what happened. a week ago i was crying bc i was like: this is impossible. i simply cannot do this.#and then i went into the lab sunday and miraculously i was able to easily read some papers. like i dont kno how to discribe how baffling it#was. like reading papers is like pulling teeth and this was somehow easy. i think maybe it was bc i let myself get distracted and wander#thru it. and then after that i got so much done this week and i was tired but having fun. and like the thing is: i fucking love evolution#it's like puzzling out the code for life in both a metaphical and literal sense. its fucking incredible. and my project is also very#interesting. if a bit intimidating in its scope. ya kno. just in the way photosynthesis is generally intimidating#but i think i have a strain thats lost chlf which is really interesting and my advisor said we might have the money to try some crispr for#my cyano children. hypothetically. maybe. and i get to do some poking around in genomes. theres so so much to love there#how could i possibly want to do anything else? and yet. and yet. here at the end of the week im so wrung out and i kno i just have to start#again on sunday and i kno im gonna have to step it up in terms of reading if i want to make it through a committee meeting and proposal#defense. not to even mention a comprehensive exam. and what do i get at the end of all this? a lifetime of academia draining my life away.#bc what i do is so academic. so whats the point? its just so frustrating.#and on top of that ive got all this data from my old lab that i kno i have to work on. and i will. i will. but with what time?#anyway the point is. i can see a path forward now where i stay here and decide the pain will be worth it despite not knowing where im going#after that. im just so tried#but right now it feels like im gonna stay until someone kicks me out#but that doesnt exactly make me feel happy. ugh. but if i stay i want to get my old pi to come here and give a seminar. ill warn her how#intimidating the department is tho. we've had 2 talks in the last 2 weeks that were... not good. particularly the one this week#like she couldnt answer a single question they thru at her and didnt seem to kno her data sets. it was hard to watch. anyway. i just want#to see my academic mother again. send me back to the desert! let me rot in a field full of sage#but send me back to the hills of an older mountain range. where i can climb sandstone cliffs and lay in carpets of moss. except i wouldnt do#that bc of all the ticks and threat of lyme disease...#anyway. im still tired. still sad. and there doesnt seem to b a way out#unrelated
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2023 Dutch Grand Prix - Qualifying - Logan Sargeant
#feeling very patriotic today okay??? thats my american boy!!#giffed him twice today haha#all my other boys did well but not incredibly well so im quite happy about logan!(even if he crashed)#he is so puppy....#logan sargeant#f1#formula 1#ls2#2023 dutch gp#2023 dutch grand prix#formula one#we do a little bit of f1
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.
#uh oh i am#feeling very much not like a real person today#just incredibly anxious for no reason i know of#like my body's still in hyper go mode but i mean#this is my first day off in 5 days so maybe thats in?#like i cant convince myself to relax or that i dont have something im pressed for time to do#and im just so tired#and its creating this weird space where i feel Iike im existing a little to the left of reality#the wind is warm and the sky outside is an expanse of blue with crested clouds but i cant take it in#attention span is all over the place#going from like sad to happy to The Longing to feeling left out of my own life#what the fuck brain can i just have#one normal day when im at home BLEASE#i wanted to write today! but even when im sitting still its like im floating#caspost#tbd#sorry i don't mean to complain i feel like ive been doing that alot lately#i am the captain of the struggle bus and its careening into traffic#my mind has the mouth feel of pop rocks and the look of tv static
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