#thats all the facts about it you can ever get and ever need
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My reaction to this comic. I literally waited ALL day to come home from work to take this picture because this was just too real and raw for me not to be real myself to show how much it shook me
so face reveal sorta?
I canāt tell you how much closure Iāve received watching this šŖšš¼š«¶š¼š§”
āØNote to self: Isolation is not the answerāØ
This ended up way longer than I originally anticipated but I have no regrets, I also got carried away in one too many shots and regret none of it
Enjoy!
part1 | part2 | part3 | part 4 context: 1 / 2/ 3 / 4
After calming down the two of them just sit down and talk about it, Oneion explains everything more calmly, all the messures his brothers have taken to prevent him going into Survival Mode along with the ways they've find out to snap him out or fully stop him
(From then on Sprout has a high voltage taser intalled on his prostethic, just in case)
This is pretty much it on my part for the whole OneOne-Toast fight aftermath situation! Ell did a thing with One and Poptart too!
I also have some more Sprout and Oneion doodles, they are not connected to this event but I might post them over the weekend
#*cracks knuckles*#time to get feral in the tags again because I have somethingās to SAY#first things first#*clears throat* words will never be adequate enough to accept my true feelings in this matter so please accept my humble keyboard smash#heycbelxheudkchwuegfkcisvwmwifufiepbsgxnsvdhsjfhrvwidmchdushevwosichnrbsufndg#But on a more serious note#this was such a good and hard video to watch#for school Iām studying human development and relationships and one big thing we talk about is the power of attachment styles#You know you can actually tell which people have which attachment styles through the type of humor they use fun fact.#But thatās besides the point. The point is Oneion is showing strong symptoms of Avoidant Attachment Style#he says heās trying to protect Sprout and Poptart which I 100% believe he is but heās also trying to protect himself from hurt + heartbreak#Motto of the Avoidant Attatchment Style: Iāll hurt you first before you hurt me#Poptart over here leading out the charge and calling out Oneion for his unhealthy isolation is literally everything to me EVERYTHING#BECAUSE THATS HOW YOU SECURE RELATIONSHIPS: THROUGH CONNECTION#Doesnāt matter who you are#nobody is ever meant to do it all by ourselves. We are PEOPLE AKA multiple for a reason. We need each other#As someone who is been in recovery from unhealthy attachment styles for something + years this comic was very cathartic for me#because Poptart and Oneion conversation is LITERALLY two of my brain cells at war with each every. single. day. Itāsā¦exhausting#So it meant the world to me to see closure like this because it kind of gave me hope for myself that hey maybe I can figure it out too#hope itās ok that like I got emotionally attached to yāallās characters.#But likeā¦I canāt tell yāall how much I have healed being apart of the turtle family because yāall have taught me so much + I š§” U 4 it#just being jayus#serendipity247#slau crossover#2al#the besties#separated leo au#pretty random turtle thunks#doing this ugly and scared
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hiiii!! so sorryyy idk if you take requests BUTT could you do headcannons of being in an argument with the aot characters?
š£ļø aot characters & arguments
characters involved: eren, armin, mikasa, connie, jean, sasha, reiner, annie, bertolt, erwin, levi & hange
notes: i do take requests indeed!! :3 i luv angst, i hope this is gdā”
ā§ eren jaeger - ļæ¼
okay, when you guys argue itās honestly more cute than anything because youāre both so protective of one another. neither of you wanted each other to join the scouts because it was so dangerous but, you both joined anyways obviously. oh my god, you guys non-stop bicker when thereās a mission! and donāt even get me started if you get put into different teamsš you start TWEAKINGG. after he finds out heās the attack titan, oh it gets 10x worse. his absolute biggest fear is losing control and hurting you - heās already so conflicted, confused & felt like an outcast. he definitely lashes out more and becomes snappier than usual but, it does come from a place of sincerity.
when this happens, you just leave it be. as soon as itās not just bickering anymore, when a voice is raised or an insult is made, you just leave it. you understand heās going through a lot and just needs a minute but, TRUST ME! when you walk off, you make sure it is known that your feelings are hurt.
āi said no! you are not being on my team! im going with the levi squad, thats final.ā
ā§ armin arlert -
you both love each other very much but, goddamn youāre both so up your own arses! you are the āsmart coupleā you are both strategic and witty and have your own way you go about things. so, when it comes to deciding whose plan is better, you always think yours is better and admin thinks his is better. this has (and probably always will be) the main root of your arguments, tbh. nobody likes to get involved either because if someone picks a side then even more havoc will break lose. the only people whoāve ever come between you two is: mikasa, levi & erwin.
itās just like a debate, you know the ones on jubilee where itās just people speaking over each other with different facts and sources? literally you two. you both would keep going until the end of time if you didnāt need to sleep, eat and drink water. itās never that serious at the end of the day, you both love each other and i GUESS you can appreciate each others plans albeit you both think yours is better.
āif you actually listen to me when i say, my layout is better! look at how easy it is to manoeuvre from the castle to the forest!ā
ā§ mikasa ackerman -
wash the damn scarf. that is all you ask of her. she has literally never washed it and you love but jesus christ, stink LINGERS. not only do you think itās weird she doesnāt wash it but, itās also from erenā¦ now, you know mikasaās lore, of course. however, itās really hard to get over your girlfriend having this deep love for this smelly scarf that her ex-crush gave to her after he literally saved her from being kidnapped. at first, you try to ignore it but it gets to a point where you sit down and talk to her but, she is not having it. she clearly cares very, very deeply for this scarf and will defend it. itās really awkward conversation that slowly turns into raised voices and some opinionated things being raised.
āwhy are you getting jealous over a scarf? thatās so stupid! i just have fond memories with it!ā
ā§ connie springer -
again, not so much major arguments but just bickers. it usually starts as a joke but slowly but surely divulges into an argument about something stupid. one time, someone ate the last of jeanās meal that his mum made for him and he saved until today, obviously he was super upset and jokingly you blamed connie. at first, all was well, laughs were being heard and he even poked fun at you but, somewhere along the way it became more serious for you two, you genuinely suspected connie of eating jeanās meal and connie was getting visibly more upset.
āthat was so not me! why are you telling them that?! i didnāt eat it, y/n!ā
jean regretted asking who ate his food.
ā§ jean kirstein -
jean is unfortunately a jealous guy. not for any malicious reasons, heās just a bit insecure gang! heās more scared that youāll leave him for someone ābetterā more than anything but, these feelings of insecurity manifest as jealously. heād get jealous over you spending time with people like eren, mikasa or armin. in so many aspects, theyāre better than him (in his eyes) and this will just make him reallyyy pissy. being in an argument with jean is painstakingly ambiguous like he never straight up says it, itās always sly remarks or dry responses from him for a while. eventually, you know something is up and question him but he will avoid answering like the plague and itās just so, so frustrating! eventually, when you break your calm demeanour, he will also break his ānonchalant-nessā and just shout about how he feels.
he crossed his arms, āi just donāt understand why you need to be around him so much, you have me?ā
ā§ sasha braus -
absolutely nothing. iām sorry but, she is too sweet and loving. IM SORRY, iām sorryā¦ i tried so hard to think of something but this queen is too perfect. at most, she would snap at you in high stress situations but she would never turn it into an argument. for example, if you told her to slow down her eating because youāre going on a mission but, she hasnāt eaten much that day she may snap and tell you to ālet her do what she wantsā but, sheās sooo quick to recover and apologise. literally not even giving you a second to even think about arguing with her!!
āah, iām sorry. youāre right, i donāt wanna be sick while flying through the air, huh?ā she pouts.
ā§ reiner braun -
youāre both from marley, you know damn well what youāre doing here but it seems reiner is straying off path. youāre there to try and remind him why youāre there and this leads to so many arguments. his split personality also plays a role in the arguments because itās so.. scary and confusing for you because one moment heās defending eldians than the next, heās shouting at you about how he āknows the planā.
when talking about stuff like this, since itās extra sensitive for reiner he definitely flips out. iām talking shouting, angry grunting, clenching his fists into balls and holding them against his forehead so he doesnāt fully crash tf out. heās just as confused and scared as you are about his split personality but, he doesnāt want to seem weak or to seem like heās losing sight of what is ārightā - it gets him really worked up. obviously, you stand your ground against him, he doesnāt scare you when youāre arguing. youāve known him for so long.. you feel like he just needs to be guided.
āwhen did i ever say i liked them? yes, theyāre okay people to be around for now butā no, i never said that! i know what they are, you donāt remind to tell me, y/n!ā
ā§ annie leonhart -
just the fact sheās cold and distant, it makes it really hard to actually have a relationship with her. at first, she was closed off COMPLETELY but cracks began to show and eventually, you thought you were at a good point with each other but, you kind of realised you didnāt know that much about annie. you try to ask questions to get her to open up but, she is one tough egg to crack so eventually, you just ask! hoping to help her more than anything but, this leads to an argumentā¦
after this first argument, it became pretty regular like once every few weeks this would happen. you get super frustrated because she acts like she doesnāt even care! so, youāre shouting and getting really passionate while she sits there, looking pissed off and bored, rolling her eyes and scoffing. she doesnāt see the need to open up to you, sheās done what she thinks is āenoughā in her books.
āwhat do you want me to say? iām not an open book, thatās just how i am. weāre all gonna end up dead, anyways.ā
ā§ bertolt hoover -
sighā¦ oh bert. every time you feel yourself developing further into your relationship with bert, his friends seem to pull him back. youāre still not quite sure why and they always seem to be giving side eyes or glances when he talks about his life - its starting to piss you off, rightfully so. you feel like heās got two other side hoes watching yours and his every move! you being this up in subtle ways as to not seem like a crazy, jealous partner but eventually you burst and tell him how you really feel.
arguing with sweet bert isnāt fun because you can tell he tries so hard to please everyone in the situation, whether itās you, him or now in this case, his friends too. he will raise his voice but, not in a bad way just in a general sense, things are getting heated, his voice will raise and he will fling his arms and hands. heās a very expressive man when arguing because he is so passionate about it.
āy/n, theyāre my friends! theyāre just trying to protect me, why are you jealous?ā
ā§ erwin smith -
thereās so such things as arguments in your relationship, erwin likes to call them āmutual disagreementsā as your both in the scouts, he knows your time is limited. itās a morbid and pessimistic way to think but, you have to be realistic when you live such a deadly lifestyle. he doesnāt want to take your time together for granted - plus, heās a MAN like, he is calm and collected and will always hear you out.
you both start off calm, having a mature conversation about whatever it is that is bothering you but, when you start getting rowdier thatās when erwin quells the flames quickly. he takes a deep breath, hears you out and calmly walks you through it all. heās so compassionate about it, i cant omg. heāll gently place a hand over your own hand or on your shoulder if youāre standing, letting you know heās present, heāll sweetly talk you down, eventually calming you down and usually youāll both say apologises or just general sweet statements and move on!
āiām sorry, y/n. no, iām glad you talked to me about this.ā
ā§ levi ackerman -
oh lord, being in an argument with levi ackerman is nawwtt fun. iām sorry but, iād kms if i argued with levi š. this man has such an awful resting bitch face as it is but, imagine his face when heās arguing with you? IF LOOKS COULD KILL. he cant hide his emotions, so when youāre arguing even if heās trying to be somewhat nice, his face says it all. usually heāll roll his eyes and scoff if itās something minor, heāll hear you out, maybe give a half arsed apology or some sort of nice gesture to make sure youāre not upset however, if itās a big issue oh brotherā¦
silent treatment, i fear. he is so bad at communicating his feels correctly and often feels confused because this mf aināt been in love before?! it gets too a point where heās so mad, he just cant even begin to think of anything to say to you. youāll be there raising your voice, becoming so passionate and when you ask what he thinks, heāll say āi have nothing to say.ā then boom, silent treatment. however, heās bad with his wordsā¦ but good with his actions. he still wants you to know he cares, you two could be in the most rancid moods but, youāll go to your room and find your clothes ironed and foldedš„².
ā§ hange zoĆ« -
oh my sweet hange, my probably neurological challenged sweet hangeā¦ an argument with them would definitely stem from them spending more time with titans than you. when sawney and bean were around, you werenāt getting ANY time of day with them, trust. at first, you didnāt want to say anything because of course, you understand! the lifetime you guys are living in, things like hangeās research is soo important but, you canāt help but feel neglected sometimes.
when you finally bring it up, an argument ensues. neither of you really shout or anything, itās just that kind of weird sort of raised, high pitched voice people get when youāre really frustrated. you both stay relatively calm for the situation youāre in but, you can totally tell youāre both so frustrated because hange just doesnāt see the problem. when you guys argue like this, it usually just goes in circles and after a while you both decide to mutually give up and leave it for another day.
āitās all for science and the greater good of humanity though, i donāt understand?ā
#anime and manga#attack on titan#aot x reader#aot fluff#aot headcanons#shingeki no kyojin#snk x y/n#snk x reader#attack on titan headcanons#snk anime#eren headcanons#armin headcanons#mikasa headcanons#jean kirschtein headcanons#connie x reader#sasha braus#reiner headcanons#snk bertholdt#annie leonhardt x reader#levi x reader#levi headcanons#erwin smith#hange x reader#eren x reader#mikasa x reader#armin x reader#jean x reader#reiner x reader#erwin x reader
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Im going to fight someone the next time i see a person say wrong information about how i got the flare. This is the 5th time today and i fucking hate it. So im going to explain it under the cut once again but on this blog instead of my own personal one (tw capslock because im extremely pissed off and cant do this anymore)
I WAS NOT BITTEN OR SCRATCHED OR INJECTED.
THE VIRUS WAS RELEASED AS AN AIRBORNE VIRUS AND IT INFECTED EVERYONE ON THE PLANET. IT WAS FOR POPULATION CONTROL TO KILL THE WEAKEST PEOPLE. SOME PEOPLE ARE MORE VULNERABLE TO THE VIRUS AND DIED. THEN IT MUTATED BECAUSE THE SUN WAS TOO HOT AND MORE PEOPLE DIED FROM THE VIRUS. AND THEN IT PROLONGUES PEOPLES LIVES COZ THEY DONT DIE IMMEDIATELY BUT IT EATS AWAY AT THEIR BRAIN AND MAKES THEM GO CRAZY. THEY ARE NOT ZOMBIES, THEY ARE STILL ALIVE, WE JUST LOOKED BAD BECAUSE WE WERE LITERALLY FIGHTING EACH OTHER TO STAY ALIVE. WE WOULD KILL EACH OTHER IN DEFENSE. HENCE THE INJURIES THAT MAKE PEOPLE THINK WE'RE ZOMBIES. WE ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT TO ZOMBIES.
I HAD THE FLARE THE WHOLE TIME. THERE WAS NO SPECIFIC POINT WHEN I CONTRACTED IT, OTHER THAN WHEN IT WAS ORIGINALLY RELEASED.
THE VIRUS WAS IN EVERYONES BRAIN. SOME WERE JUST IMMUNE AND HAD NO REACTION, BUT THEY STILL HAD IT. ALL EXCEPT TOMMY BECAUSE HIS BLOOD WAS THE CURE.
PLEASE STOP SPREADING MISINFORMATION ABOUT THE FLARE AND HOW IT WAS CREATED/SPREAD/DEVELOPS. JUST READ THE DAMN BOOKS PROPERLY BECAUSE THEY EXPLAIN EVERYTHING AND STOP ASSUMING YOU KNOW EVERYTHING WHEN YOUVE ONLY WATCHED THE FILMS BECAUSE ITS ALL WRONG.
#it actually hurts me when people spread false facts and rumours about my own damn life#and i know some people wont take this seriously because im a fictive#but its all in the books#even if you dont believe my own account of what happened#read the damn bloody books#thats all the facts about it you can ever get and ever need#i have memories of it all#so i know its true#but surely youd believe the author better than a fictive in a system#so just read the books please.... and stop hurting me#its not funny to keep seeing this constantly#and i cant keep explaining it because it really fucking upsets me
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gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps š
#spitblaze says things#this is the last thing im ever gonna fuckin say on the topic. im purging this stupidity from my brain once and for all with this post#there is an intersection of transphobia and misogyny here and idc what you wanna call it but to deny its existence is weird to me#transfems' hypervisibility means they have a lot of recognition but its absolutely not a privilege#transmascs' invisibility means they can stealth and fly under the radar easier which is better but not by a lot#and the assertion that nb people have to 'pick a side' so we can decide how to treat them is fucking ludicrous#there are absolutely differences in our treatment and our needs but a lot of it boils down to the same shit.#we are women when they want to deny us agency. we are men when they want to deny us support. this is true for everyone under the umbrella#and it's MEASURABLY worse when you're not white#anyway. im kinda over leftist groups who spend all their effort arguing about theory instead of doing anything in practice#so the next person who claims butch lesbians have 'masc privilege' or that transmascs dont actually face any sort of unique oppression#is getting smacked with a heavily vandalized copy of abigail schrier's Irreparable Damage#like again idgaf what you call it. you can just call it 'transphobia and misogyny' if you want im not a cop#ive just seen too many people who claim that it doesnt exist at all and im done with letting this take up brainspace#so im hanging up this sign and leaving. goodbye#i saw us go through the exact same shit with bisexuals and asexuals and gay men and frankly im not thrilled that its at my doorstep again#we go through a lot of the same shit but different populations do in fact need different kinds of support. thats it
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the current state of the arg
sorry guys the art isnt arting D:
(btw if youre confused on why i drew turnip like that i was referencing the picrew he did ages ago bc idk it looked fun to draw anddd i dont like taking reference off real life images)
#i felt like just a lillll bit of a creep relistening to voice messages over and over to find a good quote but. yk what. it was worth it#i totally didnt take reference from the really cool face i used in that animation because im still really proud of it#idk if emi or TD have a sona but if they do im not aware of it and i didnt feel like asking so i just drew both of them as blank characters#im too stressed to scheme lol#maybe#just maybe#i need to stop drinking tea because the caffiene makes me anxious#...#naaaaahhhh#i dont really know what to do with myself atm because i dont want to work on the animation unless turnon is ok out of pure spite#this morning i was absolutely radiating stress#i have a friend who shows up so we can walk together to school and she could tell smth was off lol#i literally could not hide it at all even if i wanted too#i kept pulling my hat over my face thats the main way you can tell that im stressed#not that it really matters that you know that bc none of you are ever gonna witness that but. fun fact abt me ig#ugh#if turnon dies i am gonna cry so hard <333#and i wont finish the animation <333333333#(at this point just trying anything to get turnon back)#im gonna make a word doc#i make word docs when im stressed /hj#quick question turnip : is there a way to get turnon out of the situation he is in or is he just gonna die and theres nothing we can do#about it /gen#because i have a sneaky suspicion that we cant actually do anything about this#i swear to god#LETS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE!!#A DEFRAG MIGHT COME OUT TMR!!#its been 21 days and a defrag takes on average 20-25 days#ough#turnip and addon im gonna find where you live and i will burn your respective houses down
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sometimes its like my life is just one big call for help
#please worry about me. please worry about me please worry about me someone worry about me#fuck. fuck#why do i need to apolgize for being a person with thoughts and feelings and shortcomings#why does it feel like i owe the world an apology for being who i am#why does it feel like i need to make up for the fact that im me by giving everything i could ever give#like im sorry its me im giving you im sorry this is all i can give. im sorry that its too much or too little#im sorry its never exactly what is needed im sorry i cant be who even i want to be#i try i try so hard. but its not ever right i just cant. get it quite right#i dont know how to fix it anymore#i dont know how to fix me. i can see everything thats wrong but i dont know how to make it better. please help me make it better.#fuck#im exhausted#i dont know. i dont know i dont know i dont know#pretend you dont see this or maybe do . i dont know this is embarrassing. but this is my blog anyway so if you dont want to see-#-the most depressing shit ever like my Thoughts then maybe you should leave bc ill always be this pathetic its kind of my thing#ha#fudjdbdjdjdkehd#ok. bye
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I hate getting into something that has a canon(ish) sapphic couple, but I only end up caring about one of the two women ššš
#warrior nun? only cared about beatrice couldn't really get behind ava much#the locked tomb? INSANE for gideon. harrow is like cool I guess (I feel like I should like her more than I do idk)#and now dungeon meshi. I knoowwwww I'm going to love falin. 10 episodes in and I already find her relatable and awesome and so cool and sexy#AND SHE BECOMES A DRAGON LIKE FUCK MAN (she's still dead atm but soon soooooon)#marcille on the other hand?? I mean she's fine... but I'm not really drawn to her (I like namari a lot more tbh)#and the thing is I know part of it is the feminization of all three of them#I am not attracted to femininity pretty much ever (outside of a super sexed up version in which case gugh)#and ava and marcielle both have a very bubbly personality type that has never really drawn me in ever#they can have cool stories and I can enjoy them in that. but I have no desire to seek them out outside of that#and harrow... honestly I think it might be the way fandom sees her that makes me not care much about her?#also my feelings about the series as a whole by the end of nona probably don't help#BUT I definitely think a big part for all three is the femininity. none of their counterparts that I DO love are overly fem#(and HONESTLY I don't think harrow should be either and the fact hardly no one actually makes her butch the way I see her pisses me off)#((she CANONICALLY hated her long hair!!!!!!!!! stop giving her anything more than a buzz cut I'm going to attack you!!!!!!))#also. marcielle has green eyes and I'm sorry but I just can't š#I need every single character ever in existence to only ever have brown/black or gold/yellow eyes#stop with the blue and the green š please#ANYWAY POINT BEING: I hate that this happens to me because I end up not getting obsessed with the ship#and mostly only getting into the single character but then I don't want to read fic about just one person#so I try out the ship stuff and shocker no one writes the other character in a way I like so I don't read it#and then I feel bad cause all my ships and main characters I'm obsessed over are men#and then I complain all the fandom favs and mcs in stories are men#but like I'm contributing to the problem!!!! but like I'm not attracted to hannibal but I like his personality#I'm not attracted to optimus but I love how fucked up his whole deal with megatron is#I DO love both luffy and zoro even though I'm not really attracted to either of them#the lotr/hobbit ships.... eh I love the world and I love dwarves and I will do anything for them so the characters don't matter much lol#AND THATS THE ISSUE š the worlds of warrior nun and tlt and most of what i've seen of dungeon meshi don't really entrance me much#so I don't get into the ships for that. and I'm not attracted to both people in the ship. and I can't relate/project on both in the ship#and sometimes I find one character type less likable/annoying so that makes me not want to engage
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reading my own oc lore and being gagged as if i didnt write it
#robin and aria you will rule the world forever and ever#me when theres a slow connection forming between ppl who cant stand each other and they have to come to terms w the fact that#they need each other desperately#not enemies to lovers bc theyre not lovers. they kiss sloppy style bc they want to break each others bones#its the adrenaline of fighting w someone#the inherent homoeroticism of pinning someone against a wall bc you hate them so much it makes you want to get closer to their#beating heart. so you can feel the fear and excitement manifest physically#also its an office romcom#and its also an expression of the despair the typical heterosexual lifestyle instills in me#marriage and children and a suburban home where no one cares about what happens to you#where youre just supposed to cook and clean and love him and do his laundry and watch tv and not have friends and babysit#thats total and utter misery to me#this one goes out to all the girlfriends and wives who are stated as such before theyre given personhood#women who are mothers and sisters and daughters and caretakers before theyre friends and workers and hobbyists#theyre loving and kind and sweet and quiet and friendly before theyre funny and weird and angry and righteous and cool#im sorry that the world puts us in these roles and i hope so desperately you get the relief of living a full life one day#that they dont open your funeral with how good of a mother and wife you were. how well you served the men in your life#anyways#sorry for dumping all that the state of the world just makes me feel things ig
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okay my take on this whole titanic sub thing is. was paying 250k to get into the death tube a stupid decision motivated entirely by wealth? probably! does that make it okay for us to be celebrating the likely horrific deaths of these people who did not do anything wrong? no! what the fuck is wrong with you!
#oceangate#you can't say you believe everyone deserves to live and then turn around and be glad people are dying just because they're rich.#i am all for eat the rich but gleefully celebrating the deaths of people who didnt even do anything is wrong. just flat out.#sorry but it's true. you CANNOT celebrate the deaths of innocent people and claim to be a good person. EVER.#even if the whole thing was incredibly questionable from the get go you STILL dont get to laugh thats HORRIBLE.#actually. you cant say everyone deserves to live and then turn around and be glad people are dying PERIOD.#i know this is a controversial opinion but it is NEVER okay to be happy someone is dying.#you can be happy that someone's direct influence has come to an end as a result of their death.#but it is never EVER okay to full stop be happy that someone has died.#''they deserved it!'' okay maybe so. still not okay.#and i feel like if you this is IS okay you really need to reexamine your morals.#and i AM blocking people who think this is funny or cool or ''karma'' or whatever.#''you guys say eat the rich until it happens'' THIS IS NOT RETRIBUTION FOR THEIR MORAL FAILINGS#THIS IS FUCKING AWFUL AND NOT AT ALL IN THE SPIRIT OF EAT THE RICH OKAY#also also the fact that this is being turned into discourse really says something about y'all's moral fiber i think.
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You know it kind of sucks to see discourse about whether or not me and people like me should exist. Like just the fact that it's even a question in the first place sucks.
#ramblings of an arrow#I really need to make more friends that just arent christian at this point#like I still love my religious friends very much#but the fact that its an actual question being asked and that the majority answer is no like SUCKS dude#like holy shit and yall wonder why ppl leave the churh in droves#why there are so few queer christians#like its so fucking difficult to exist in a space where your right to exist is up for debate#its exhausting#like even if you arent outright saying it you make it so obvious you dont want ppl like me around#that the fact that I exist is either abhorrent or just too awkward to acknowledge#also sorry not sorry that my marriage is healthier that all but like 2 christian marriages ive ever seen#my lesbian ass is better at having a healthy loving marriage and good sex than most of you will ever be#youre gonna look at me and tell me that its wrong? really??#can you look me in the eye as you treat my existence as something to be ignored or spoken about in hushed tones#oh hide your children I might corrupt them because I exist being a loving caring adoring spouse to my wife#you dont like to talk about us or acknowledge us unless its to debate our right to be#as if that should even be a fucking question in the first place#im sorry i just.... this gets exhausting sometimes#im not gonna apologize for existing or try to hide the parts of me that make you uncomfortable#I am queer as hell I am a dyke I am a faggot I am a tranny and thats not gonna change no matter what you want#I adore my wife she adores me and I never felt this level of deep abiding compassionate love in christian spaces#your love comes with strings attached even though I know you want to believe it doesnt
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i do love my car it is the perfect car aside from the. imperfections and frequent problems,
#toy txt post#ššššššššš#why is the flex pipe broken again! who is responsible.#anyway i know how this sounds but also im right. i just want a tiny little car like i have#but like for all the parts to be high quality and easy to replace. u know. but alas#after spending hours trawling past the seo listicles about 5 signs that my flex pipe is failing#looking desperately for the forums where i cannot understand anything theyre saying. it seems like#when the shop replaced the flexpipe previously they must not have used an OEM part and swapped it out for a cheaper part#and or. my engine mounts are failing? and or. exhaust hangar issue???#and the guy at the mechanic shop was like oh its like a design flaw with the cars that have flex pipes and the front wheel drive engines#that rock back and forth instead of side to side so they just wear out faster. but also it shouldnt wear out this fast. and its bc my car is#a shitty cheap little piece of shit. but also its bc something is wrong like this happens to plenty of other cars too that arent fiats#and im sure we'll look into it and shrig and get the flex pipe replaced and ill be like okay. can we replace it with a just straight pipe#that isnt flexing? no bc thatll lead to wear and tear destorying more expensive parts? ok. what about beefier mounts or more mounts to make#the engine chill out. no probably not bc it probably needs to move a little bit or else theyd find a way to make it stop moving. well okay#what if we take the engine out and fucking rotate it so that it rocks side to side instead?since all the car guys are waxing poetic about#that? no? thats not possible? i think it probably is possibly but what you mean is its not feasible or realistic and its not worth it and i#should just keep replacing this one piece or what the fuck ever.#mostly i think im just tired of how my parents treat my car now? i get it you hate it. please just accept the fact that you are going to#hate any car i have bc im not ever being the newest release of the pedestriancrusher3000 suv tank that beeps when someone is next to me#like i joke but literally it seems like all they want is for me to get a different bigger car. i dont want or need a bigger car.#we have been having this argument since i started learning to drive. no one who taught me to drive understands that bigger car=more anxious#cos im anxious about Different Things than they are. maybe i could have slightly better Visibility but at least i can see over my fucking#hood#anyway. i do wish i could get my exact car but with like higher quality materials/construction and like. as a plug in hybrid instead#electric sounds nice in theory but i dont think its for me just yet?#ive seen new electric fiats (which they arent selling here btw) (fuck you if you want a small new car lol)#car companies be like america? oh those fuckers only want the largest tanks we can legally allow on the road. and then the 3 of us american#folk that do actually want small cars are like hey uh. how do i get a small one. i know yall make them. ive seen it#and the companies are like oh we dont sell them to you. you only like big cars
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the corpse of king minos is very fucking big and Scary but you can parry his punches pretty easily and thats the easiest way i can explain how good ultrakill feels
#but even when the game is actually hard and kills me several times i dont feel like quitting?#i turn it off after 2 - 3 missions because thats the amount of time it takes for my body so get so Over Excited it stops aiming right#but i havent actually felt like ragequitti g#because the game just feels so good#i can ramble about how good ultrakill feels for HOURS bro#ramblings#switching between guns. the variants. coin tossing never gets old. accidentally exploding yourself with your own shotgun#fucking. SOUND EFFECTS#that too like when you parry. that sound?? makes my autism happy#THE SLIDING SOUND AOUGH#the fact that it does sound like ur made of metal but not in a bad screechy way that makes me want to cry#in a world where realistic movement physics are the norm having this much control. god#the witcher 3 is one of my favorite games ever. just as an example. but i DREAD playing that again knowing how walking around feels#yes sometimes in ultrakill you overshoot something because youre Fast but thats also just me needing to stand perfectly right for terminals#'look we have realistic physics' ok COOL BUT ARE THEY ACTUALLY FUN TO PLAY WITH#hyperrealism is impressive in videogaming YES but its also led to this monolith. in triple a#i do want to give credit where its due once i got used to the destiny warlock jumps (blink especially) that game felt really good too#but ultrakill doesnt force me to socialize and has a much more pleasant community so im fine where i am rn. actually#ive done all totk dungeons (I THINK) except for the final chasm and let me tell you. i dont want to fight any of those bosses ever again#why js that relevant? ive already beaten 1-4 twice and will probably go for my second 3-2 run tomorrow. THIS GAME. BOSSES. AAAAAAA#i love totk but those bosses were a fucking nightmare#thats gonna be a separate post
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Dawg I work in automating email-job-type-tasks and my coworkers - fellow elder millennials - were STUNNED at my solution to create a dynamic folder name. Not the method of making it dynamic, the part that stunned them was the "run cmd.exe: '/c mkdir [filepath]'" and at the point where I was going "yeah no its not wizardry its just like... a vestigial recreation of MSDOS..." I had to confront that frankly computer literacy has never been more in the toilet.
Telling young zoomers to "just switch to linux" is nuts some of these ipad kids have never even heard of a cmd.exe or BIOS you're throwing them to the wolves
#most of these guys know at least SQL and a little VBA we are so cooked as a society#call me the bane of corporate IT the way I once emailed a whole department a javascript file with no extension to get around the very#reasonable filter but like P&P required digital fraud to use a particular note format and doing it by hand was a nightmare while that#webserver was down and a bunch of people listened to IT and cleared their cache as the first step lmfao#terrible news about whats in your fucking cache man fucking hell lmfao#the fact that nobody but me even realized what we actually needed was IN that cache makes me sad tbh#because thats not a very complex thing to know really! helpdesk should have tbh#seconding the typing thing tho - I have severe auditory processing issues and I hate writing up a perfect question on teams only to get a#response of āuhhh can you join my zoomā and then I have to explain it all over again and take notes because it helps me repeat back what I#think I heard to them and its like dude all of this would be so much easier if you'd grown up on forums and learned to type/read faster tha#talking too ngl#I also get a lot of comments from folks once they see my desktop about like oh what games do you play my man I have a potato for a graphics#card! I have a gpu at all because of photoshop and blender this thing does not play much beyond AOE2?#but the idea of even having a desktop pc for regular non-gaming computer use is getting weird to even elder millennials#even when I explain I was a professional freelance artist for a while I get a lot of ābut ipad?ā#my brother in christ have you ever tried to use the ipad photoshop there's a reason even my tablet is a windows surface#you will pry my dubious copies of non-cc photoshop out of my cold dead hands before I touch procreate Im so sorry but I have a keyboard#shortcut for everything memorized since 2002 and that is the way that shit is going to stay for the sake of my sanity#but you explain that and it blows peoples minds because they maxed out their muscle memory for shortcuts at ctrl+(z/x/c/v/a/s)#if that! like that's among people who have been call center/backoffice folks tbh who mostly CAN type 65WPM and are already freaks for it
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...... If I went on a hiatus for who knows how long again would y'all hate me....... šš
#i just spent like an hour writing and rewriting a post trying to explain myself amd its just so hard to put into words#im bored here but not in a ew not enough content for the dopamine hit shit#in like a every time i scroll through I dont smile I dont see anything that makes me happy at all i dont get a laugh or anything#its just mindless brain rotting scrolling nothing wasting my time hoping maybe ill see a new artist to follow or something#and every time its nothing#so much nothing taking up so much of my time and space in my life and i already dont have a lot of time to begin with#ive made some awesome friends here ive had lovers from here ive had people who are no longer on this earth from here who ill never forget#i dont think ive really enjoyed anything on here in 7 years#ive left before for a really long time i think like a year or more or something#and i wont be totally unreachable of people message me ill respond but im so sick of this stupid app taking up my life#and all i ever get out of it is getting mad or getting depressed over shit that really is t worth my mental state over#all i ever feel on here is that the world fuckin sucks and theres not even anything here to make hanging around worth it#im not new to this site making me suicidal for an abundance of reasons and im luckily in a spot where i wont actually hurt myself#its just ideation and intrusive thoughts but its a pattern i cant keep ignoring#also im old tumblr im old tumblr and i think i will always be old tumblr im just not catching on to new shit anymore#the fact im even saying anything about a hiatus should show how pld tumblr i am no one does this anymore lol#i just don't want to be here anymore i dont really want to be anywhere online anymore tbh#its always something and i cant mentally keep up with it anymore i have too much going on in my life#my wife is having cancer removed on Tuesday im a lead teacher who has to take care of i think 8 babies now#i have problems i have actual problems that need me and need me to be as there as i can be#i cant be spiraling over stuff online on top of real world problems im in no position to do anything about on top of personal life problems#that are drastically affecting my life at home and hurting my family and loved ones#i have a mass in my thyroid which is so big i choke to the point i stop breathing if I dont have my meds i throw up all day#i have to see a neurologist because at best i have a pinched nerve at worst im having seizures and i might have to move states again#i dont have it in me to come on here and see stuff that makes me upset for the chance i might see something i like#and i can unfollow people and whatever but I dont have the energy or time to sift through people i follow on here#if you want to talk in dms or asks or you want to send me posts pls by all means continue to do so thats fine#but i think i need to take the app out of my line of sight again for a bit and just be in the moment again same with twitter#anyways i love yall i promise i am safe and not in harms way im just stressed af and i have got to start cutting things out that#arent doing anything other then making me miserable
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this got away from me
#i wish i was a rich pretty guy or something but instead im a regular looking regular guy with parents that earn regular money#i was born to be one of those annoying bratty rich kids who dont work ever. that should be me#or something. i complain about work constantly but guys i do not want to go to school. i dont. i dont. i dont i dont. i dont i dont and i#dont know what to do about it. its spring. ive got like a month to figure out how im getting out of this#im not doing this i cannot do this. i cant i cant i cant. im so stressed i can tell im so stressed bc im getting acne and my eczema is awfu#its only a matter of time before i break out in hives or some shit i cant do it i cant do it. i cant. i cant#god everything is really getting to me. i cant i dont have a place here i dont i have no purpose in life and everyone just wants me to act#like. thats not true bc um. well! haha what are you gonna do! haha its fine. keep moving forward. ignore your anxiety and the fact that#everything makes you miserable constantly. and even the things that make you happy make you miserable. ignore that#go to college. normal ppl go to college :) no you want to sleep all day because youre not doing anything. which is a personal failure.#you should instead do something that makes you miserable. thatll fix it. dont kill yourself thats stupid. you have so much to live for! lik#um. well youre supposed to live. so. ignore yknow everything in the world and push forward. bc it will get better! once um.#um. yknow. you graduate in 8 years? be a dentistā¦. um bc. you like teeth. and it makes money. and well you need the money! youre going to#college!!!! you need that money to pay for it after all. dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it dont think about it#its okay weāll do everything we can to make it cheaper. to do the thing you dont want to do at all even a little bit. no dont kill yourself#you have so much to live for! a career in something youve never been interested in! or yknow a different career youre not interested in#i dont want to kill myself!!! i dont want to kill myself i want something to fucking live for!!!!!! a want a life that doesnt make me feel#like i have to kill myself!!!!!!!!!!#simons spouting#vent :(#suicide //
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huh
#ive been like. stressing out that im terrible about fact checking cause i feel like i never do it. but. i do. like all the time i get#curious about stuff and learn more about itā i physically cant notā thats how i experience things#but i guess because it was yknow . natural curiosity and not 'i am checking this information for factualness' i never#considered it to be in the same box#and like i do the other one a lot too i literally mentioned just the other day how much i enjoy helping my roommate factcheck stuff i just#didnt use that specific word like hello??????#who needs therapy when your neuroses can just fucking. decide to untangle themselves out of nowhere i guess??#and like yeah i miss stuff or fall for stuff or misunderstand stuff sometimes but so does. everyone? and afaik i always fix it?#and my brain just. decided i never do ever so all that exists are those times.#fuckin. brains are weird#now that i think about it though those thoughts did feel a bit different? idk how to explain it rightā like i could feel it was conflicting#with other stuff i could think at the same time but i just didnt notice it? like when u notice a splinter first something just#sort of Feels Off before you figure out where it is#or like its a reeeeeally really fine one and it brushes up against something and ur like. i didnt feel that but my cells did and#im an empath so i felt the disturbance in the air#like that#ignore me lol im low on blood today
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