#why does it feel like i owe the world an apology for being who i am

[zedif-y]

sometimes its like my life is just one big call for help

[goldsainz]

❝ WE’D BE A BIG CONVERSATION ❞

MASTERLIST!

pairing . . . carlos sainz x leclerc!reader

◦∘｡ﾟ. request . . . “Carlos x Leclerc!reader and how the media would react?🤭 ❤️”

◦∘｡ﾟ. summary . . . even if the world can’t make up its mind about you, you’ll still be endgame.

◦∘｡ﾟ. note . . . HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TAY TAY!!! i had to make something at least related to her… although most of my fics are based on her songs so i owe her a lot for all the variety she has on her catalogue 💙 on another note, now that i’m back i gotta keep the fics coming so i hope to put one per week (don’t hold me to that). this is also soooo longggg im sorry😭

liked by lorenzotl, carlossainz55 and 207,843 others

yourusername living my spanish villa life

view all 1,609 comments

carlosfan1 carlos in the likes!!!!!

ynfan1 she’s the love of my life

charles_leclerc Trop belle ❤️

liked by yourusername and 26,139 others

arthur_leclerc Why are you in spain?

arthur_leclerc Come back to Monaco

⤷ yourusername no

⤷ arthur_leclerc I’m telling maman

⤷ yourusername go right ahead, i’ll tell her all about those plates that suddenly disappeared

⤷ arthur_leclerc Truce…?

⤷ yourusername yayyy

ynfan2 crying at arthur being clingy😭

user1 girl it’s the middle of august aren’t you sweating your skin off?

⤷ yourusername beauty is pain ❤️

⤷ ynfan3 LMFAO

liked by landonorris, reyesvdec and 1,283,059 others

carlossainz55 Summer 💛

view all 19,245 comments

carlosfan21 trying not to freak tf out rn…

anasainzvdec Que veranillo 🙌

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 71,024 others

carlosfan22 WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK

ynfan21 why did y/n like carlos sister’s comment🤨

⤷ carlosfan23 she did what?!?!

⤷ ynfan21 she unliked it a while after… but i screenshotted it cause it was so weird

⤷ ynfan22 this + him liking y/n’s latest post is giving soft-launch

carlosfan24 expected silly season, got love season

carlosfan25 patiently waiting for the f1 detectives to uncover who that is 😁

ynfan23 THAT IS SO Y/N

ynfan24 i’d like to issue out an apology for how annoying i’ll be if that is in fact y/n

⤷ carlosfan26 me too

⤷ pierregasly Me three

⤷ ynfan24 WHAT??? PIERRE???

⤷ francisca.cgomes pierregasly that is not your burner…

⤷ pierregasly Shiiiiit

⤷ ynfan25 there’s a lot to unpack here😭

yourusername updates their instagram stories!

francisca.cgomes responded to you story!

francisca.cgomes you’re in italy rn 🤨

yourusername i knowwww

francisca.cgomes so why aren’t you enjoying

yourusername cause charles and arthur and lorenzo are hovering over my shoulder like im gonna blow up the ferrari motorhome which mean i can’t see my mannnn😫

francisca.cgomes pierre can take care of charles, and then i’ll ask charlotte if she can distract lorenzo… maybe you can talk to carla so she’ll keep arthur busy?

yourusername I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE A LIFESAVER!

francisca.cgomes you can thank me later!!! go see carlos while you can

yourusername right okay bye bye

francisca.cgomes 😘

liked by lailahasanovic, olliebearman and 297,150 others

yourusername italy you were amazing!!!!!

view all 4,457 comments

ynfan31 HELLO???????

ynfan32 did not expect this when i opened insta

carlosfan31 oh.

arthur_leclerc Answer my calls

arthur_leclerc Don’t ignore us, Y/N

charles_leclerc ???

lorenzotl Interesting

user31 where’s the jacket from?

⤷ yourusername bershka 🩵

⤷ ynfan33 BYE NOT HER IGNORING HER BROTHERS

carlosfan32 okay but what does lorenzo know why is he so chill 🤨

ynfan34 it’s giving ferrari royalty

ynfan35 the way her eyes were glowing while watching carlos on the podium… they’re in love IN LOVE

carlosfan33 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAMMM

yourusername updated their instagram stories!

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton and 1,783,902others

carlossainz55 Singapore you’ll forever be in my memory

view all 26,758 comments

yourusername mi amorrrr

yourusername winner of singapore and my heart

⤷ carlossainz55 Mi corazón es todo tuyo también ❤️

yourusername 🫠🫠🫠

carlosfan41 they’re so endgame coded

⤷ ynfan41 so reputation coded in general

carlosfan42 y/n is so me thirsting over carlos

carlosfan43 god i’ve seen what you’ve done for others

ynfan42 why does it feel like charles and arthur are so detached from y/n lately???

⤷ carlosfan44 OMG YES I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO SAY THIS

⤷ carlosfan45 i think since monza we’ve had no content with them… we went from silly stories to radio silence

scuderiaferrari ❤️🍾

liked by carlossainz55 and 68,035 others

ynfan43 these are my parents now

ynfan44 this is everything to me!!!!!!!

carlosfan46 singapore will forever be in my memory too 🥹

translations:

— mi amorrrr : my loveeee — Mi corazón es todo tuyo también : My heart is all yours too

-ˋˏ *.· taglist . . . @lorarri @lpab @noncannonships @lunnnix @elliegrey2803 @schumacheer @saintslewis @leoramage @toomuchdelusion @anthonykatebridgerton @enhacolor @gulabjamoon @toomuchdelusion @goldenalbon @ravisinghs-wife @nouvellevqgue @hobiismyhopeu @celestialpato @lecsainz @kkeels @darleneslane @avengersheart

[mysticheathenn]

Why Are Your Ears Ringing & Other Signs?

Hi, Hexlings!

This pick-a-card reading is for my Patreon All Tiers. This pick-a-card reading is all about the signs you may have been seeing recently and the possible reason why your ear has been ringing if you know you don't have tinnitus.

This is a general reading, remember to take what resonates and leave what does not. This reading does not supplement your need to seek professional help. Tarot should be used as entertainment and not a for sure answer to your problems but as a guide, a sense of hope, and amusement.

Take your time when choosing your pile. Ask yourself the question and choose the picture that you can’t stop looking at. Listen to your intuition.

Extended Patreon Includes:

What Can You Expect?

Extra Messages (If applicable)

MasterList

Patreon Link

Pile l:

Why are your ears ringing & other signs? Tarot: 5 of Swords (Clarified by Justice), 3 of Wands, Page of Cups, Queen of Cups, 9 of Pentacles.

Multiple messages for your pile. This energy pile l feels like you are releasing a lot of pent-up emotions. If you haven't or are in the stage of releasing your emotions this is the reason your ears have been ringing or you have been seeing certain signs lately. You may be the type of person who holds in a lot of their emotions to either keep the peace, trauma-induced, or because you hate feeling anything other than okay/happy. So you go about your life pretending as if you don't have feelings while bottling up everything unfair and wrongfully done to you. Some of you maybe releasing your mommy issues or if not releasing you are coming to terms with it. You are finally coming to the point in your life where you are accepting that your mother or whatever female figure in your life will not change and become the person you need them to be and you can either accept that and adjust your relationship to keep your mental health intact or decide to go no contact because of how tired you are. Others of you are healing you heart chakra and coming to terms with your past, heartbreak, or the realization that everything is going to be okay and it's safe for you to open up again. Slowly but surely I see you opening your heart to others who are more deserving to be in your life pile l. I literally feel a weight being lifted off of my shoulders as if this has been a burden to you for a while now. You are finally able to breathe and move through life without having to constantly remind yourself of the past and what the past has done to you. Some of you probably replay the things in life where you feel you are still owed an apology or something in that realm. You are coming to terms with the fact that the biggest thing you can do for yourself is to move on and heal because it's not getting you anywhere except being hung up on someone or something that is moving on with their lives. I'm hearing the quote " Now that I know better, I do better." Now that you know you need to establish certain things in your life you are moving forward with what you need to do in order to bring this healing energy of having your heart chakra being healed and open to the world around you. Patreon Link

Pile ll:

Why are your ears ringing & other signs? Tarot: Queen of Pentacles, The Emperor, 4 of Cups, Death, 9 of Swords.

This reading is divided into two messages: Love & Money. For those who resonate with money issues, this is you being tired of putting in the hard work only to continue to keep being placed further back. You feel as if every step forward you take three maybe even five sets back. For others of you, who relate to the love portion this is you getting tired of putting in the work for a specific relationship or in love in general and you feel that you are at a crossroads and aren't sure where you go from here. Either way, this pile is all about being tired, feeling anxious, and wanting a change in your life that doesn't result in depression, lack, and feeling inadequate. Change is coming pile ll, but this change I feel for some of you, you're the reason it's not happening. Maybe you know what you need to do in order for this change to happen but you are too afraid to pull the plug because you are scared or aren't sure what the next move is after you pull the plug on this business idea or love situation. Pull it. Pull the plug. You can't expect change if you aren't going to be the catalyst for it. Others of you that are not the reason for their own lack of change, this change will come in waves and just like waves you're going to take a few steps forward and then a step back but overall you're going to see the bigger picture to keep going because the changes are leading you to a better life and situation than where you are now. Also, this is a specific message for some of you but when a certain opportunity comes it's way do not look a gift horse in the mouth and question that it maybe a trap. Take it by the horns and see it for what it is, a gift. Everything in life is not a conspiracy theory or plotting against you. Life wants you to have good things but you need to start showing up more for yourself, listen to your intuition and not your heart, and move forward. Patreon Link

Pile lll:

Why are your ears ringing & other signs? Tarot: 6 of Cups, The Hanged Man, Ace of Wands, 6 of Pentacles (reversed), The Priestess (clarified by 9 of pentacles)

You may be seeing the number 666 or were possibly drawn to pile l. Instead of healing a mother wound or your heart chakra, this feels more like you are on the brink of healing your inner child or even past versions of yourself. This feels more like you didn't have all the things you wanted growing up because your family grew up poor or your parents just weren't the type of parents who wanted to see you thrive unless they had a thumb on you expecting you to do things in return for something else. This feels like you are coming home to yourself. Congratulations from Post Malone comes to mind.

"My momma called, seen you on TV, son Said shit done changed ever since we was on I dreamed it all ever since I was young They said I wouldn't be nothing Now they always say congratulations Worked so hard, forgot how to vacation They ain't never had the dedication People hatin', say we changed and look, we made it Yeah, we made it" - Congratulations by Post Malone

Maybe people counted you out and doubted you about being able to achieve what you are about to achieve or made you feel bad for liking the things that you like. This pile just has healing, relief, and freedom, but also chaotic energy all at once and it's hard to tap into because while you're on the brink of greatness you also feel as if you aren't doing enough especially if you are feeling as if you are in limbo or a standstill. That's possibly why you are seeing the angel number 666 because you are lacking balance. 666 means other things as well but balance is the main thing coming to mind. Balance and healing things that you didn't know you needed healing. The energy feels like that moment when you see YouTube creators who have put in work for years finally break even and they cry on camera thinking about the past and everything they have been through. Sorry if your reading is everywhere but it's the chaotic energy I feel for this deck. Things will happen swiftly for you...just relax. What is for you won't pass you by. You're close to running on E, please take care of yourself. Patreon Link

Pile lV:

Why are your ears ringing & other signs? Tarot: Hanged Man, 2 of Swords (reversed), 2 of Cups, The Fool, 8 of Cups

For whatever reason there is always that one pile where someone is in a relationship they need to leave and this is it. Except this time around it's a bit different. You are no longer contemplating whether you should leave and if you are you will come to the realization that it's time for you to get back to yourself. You want to know who you are in this new era you are walking into. I feel you probably have lost yourself in this past relationship or current relationship that you are in to the point you feel it has spread throughout your life to where you are in limbo or at a standstill with everything. You aren't sure where to go, what to do, in order to explore who you are again but slowly and surely you will find out exactly who you are and who you are meant to be. This pile is going to be a bit shorter because it's quite self-explanatory and I feel you probably choose this same pile over and over again from my other readings because you either have yet to leave, your energetic field is still holding onto the past and not focusing on self-betterment (becoming your highest self), or because you are just now stepping into this new beginning. This energy all I can say is very beautiful and I feel you will enjoy this new sense of adventure as you find yourself again in this new chapter. You may even discover things you didn't even think you would enjoy while others of you I see you reverting back to things you loved as a child/adolescent. I believe this is something people always made fun of you for and you decided to stop doing it because others deemed it as "uncool." I'm excited for you pile lv. Patreon Link

Thank you for liking and reblogging my readings. I always appreciate you guys on here and on Patreon.

Stay safe and be blessed

[stardustdiiving]

One major thing about any hypothetical Ei and Wanderer reconciliation scenario to me is the fact Wanderer refers to her as his mother many times but Ei never once is shown referring to him as her son—or any indication she sees him as family at all

I think this would make any reconciling more messy in a way I find interesting: I really feel you’d have to sit Ei down and basically explain to her why Wanderer has mommy issues. You have the fact she sort of views her “letting Kabukimono go” action as something done on his behalf/a neutral well intentioned action with no malice, but I honestly think Ei might have an easier time understanding how that could be perceived as abandonment than she would understanding it being like, specifically parental/familial abandonment

In a way I think is a consistent trait in her character I feel Ei has spent a long time struggling to really consider other people’s emotions, wants and needs + if she has any sort of responsibility for them when she makes decisions. To me it’s the same sort of logic she decides it’s for the best she just leaves Kabukimono somewhere once it’s clear he can’t fulfill the purpose she made him for that drives her deciding to just let the Shogun run amok on taking people’s Visions—she has good intentions with both but doesn’t really seem to consider that other people might have emotional reactions to her actions—even post her second SQ we see her be genuinely confused why one of her citizens was scared of her and thought she would attack him for beating her in a card game

So with Wanderer…after the fact she’s clearly trying to be better about change and not closing herself off from the world post AQ, I think I can see her coming to ne sympathetic about how he may have been hurt by her actions and seen it as abandonment. But I really think the familial dynamic aspect of it would really confuse her and I think her struggle to be on the same page as Wanderer there would make it hard for him to feel really satisfied with anything. I really think you’d have to have like a third party come in and be the one to explain why Wanderer views her as a mother because i feel if Wanderer had to be the one to do this it would be unbearable for him emotionally ejjchfnfj

Which is so tragic especially if you consider Ei as someone who does care a lot about family via like, going off her relationship with Makoto. She understands it but I think has a very inhuman idea of it and I think would struggle to stomache or conceptualize creating More family after Makoto’s death for a while…it’s something she’d have to work up to. JJSNXJX. I can see Ei feeling she owes Wanderer something and trying to adhere to what she understands of Wanderer’s perception of their dynamic but Wanderer finds it really awkward and can tell she doesn’t get it and it’s honestly fine because it’s not like he really wants her as his mother at this point in his life

I just really like the idea it’s never really going to work out fully because of this gap in how they both perceive relationships and each other dynamic wise. Ei who doesn’t see Wanderer as family in a way that makes Wanderer realize she’s never really going to fully get it even if she does feel remorse and apologizes but is kind of just over it and thinks it’s more comfortable for both of them if they just don’t force their dynamic to be anything significant

[avelera]

Mostly buried this in the tags of my next OFMD meta reblog down from this post but…. I don’t think Ed is going to apologize for his Kraken era and I don’t think the narrative is going to demand that he does.

I saw a couple posts expressing eagerness for Ed’s inevitable “apology tour” after he wakes up and I just fundamentally don’t think that’s going to happen. I could easily be wrong. But at most I think we might get a few mumbled, shamefaced apologies. If you expect him to grovel before Lucius and the crew, imo, that’s just not going to happen and here’s why:

- the narrative morality of OFMD has NEVER been encouraging its characters to become “good” people. The story is about finding love and acceptance during a midlife crisis. It’s about following your bliss. The highest moral demand it makes of its characters is to be true to themselves, not to become Good People. It’s a pirate comedy. It doesn’t care about murder. It cares about being true to yourself and your desire to be a pirate. Everything goes well when people follow their bliss. It falls apart when narrative defining main characters like Stede or Ed do what they think they should do instead of what makes them happy.

- Emotional pain has always been more important, more impactful, than physical pain in the show. Ed’s bad behavior (to put it lightly) was an expression of his emotional pain. Simply put, the narrative isn’t going to ask him to apologize for his emotional pain.

- Stede, the main driver of the narrative, DOES apologize because his actions led to Ed’s emotional pain (in his mind) and again, narrative pain is weighted more than physical pain in this show. Also, life is cheap, if you’re not a main character. This is still a pirate story. Murder is not treated as a sin.

- Ed is proud. Taika is proud. Both rightfully so one would argue, they’ve accomplished a great deal. Ed’s got a bit of Taika in that, actually more than a bit. It’s clear Taika puts a lot of himself into Ed. My gut tells me that Ed/Taika is just not going to grovel an apology. That’s just not his style. Mumbled self-conscious apologies because he feels he should is one thing. But deep sincere apology tours? Not gonna happen. He won’t abase himself like that (Ed OR Taika)

- The person he arguably hurt most directly, Izzy, hurt Ed IMMENSELY at the end of S1. Arguably more than Lucius, the majority of whose pain came from what happened after he was pushed overboard. But Izzy Ed personally tortured, and he did it because Izzy threatened to murder Ed if Ed didn’t climb back into the suffocating closet of Izzy’s expectations for him. Ed is not going to apologize to Izzy. Izzy got exactly what he deserved in physical pain after the emotional pain he dealt Ed, narratively speaking.

- I’m not talking real world morals, to be clear. Or even what the various Izzy or Ed fans THINK the other deserves, where the fans think the fault truly lies and who owes what to whom.

- What I’m saying is, in the OFMD world where emotional pain matters more than physical maiming, the narrative isn’t going to ASK Ed to apologize to Izzy for maiming him after what Izzy did at the end of S1 and Izzy getting his comeuppance for it. And that’s because they hurt each other equally, emotionally. They’re even now. Izzy lashed out and emotionally destroyed Ed during a vulnerable moment. Ed took his leg. They’re done. The way forward is for them to separate and get their toxicity out of each others life or find a new way forward with new understanding of each other as they become entirely new people after their respective ordeals. But as far as the pain they’ve dealt each other, there’s no debt. They’ve both hurt each other beyond the point of apology being anything but a false display.

Again, I could be totally wrong. Joke’s on me if ep. 4 opens with Ed on his knees crying and apologizing to everyone he hurt. But I just cannot picture that happening. And I don’t think OFMD is the kind of story that will demand it.

[patheticmull3rr]

Teory📔📘; When Blue Meets Yellow In The West

I have been replaying the Third Season for a few days now, and the most iconic phrase within it; "when blue and yellow meet in the west" has made me very curious.

In ST these tones are used to symbolize how couples (both in a friendly and loving context) begin to know or "find" such tones we find in scenes such as

The photos of Eleven and Max;

and on the tiles of the bathrooms where Steve and Robin were;

Just as these tones are found in different scenes used in contexts with couples that were previously presented to us. But what matters here is that this phrase is present in moments prior to which two specific characters are about to share important moments between them.

And ow this symbolizes personal growth for both people.

In the case of Eleven and Max, Max makes Eleven learn that her individual life is much more than what Hopper or Mike tell her, and that there are more better things in the world than "stupid boys."

Teaches her to be herself, and at the same time Max becomes Eleven's first best friend, which is important for both of them even later in the S4. Max provokes in Eleven a feeling of independence and empowerment.

Which she later uses to end her relationship with Mike after he lied to her (I'll talk about that specific scene in another blog).

Also!!: I would like to honor the detail that Max has the green during this specific scene that shows Eleven the Wonder Woman comics, which in simpler words symbolizes the fact that Max already has the blue and yellow in she

Moving on to the Robin and Steve scene, specifically Robin is a character that is used to be related to Steve for the same reason as Eleven and Max.

Of course, each scene is different, but if we realize, in both contexts they have a similar problem, which is love problems.

In the bathroom scene where Robin and Steve talk, Steve begins to give Robin some hints that show that he is romantically attracted to her.

She ends up rejecting him by coming out to him as a lesbian woman, but even so she does not act offended by this, but rather a friendship arises directly between them. something that Steve also needs, realizing that there is more to the world than just wanting to get a girlfriend, and that he still has a lot of internal development ahead of him.

(I will also analyze this scene in another blog)

Taking into account the scenes that we have just rescued where yellow and blue are predominant in both couples, yellow and blue are not as such couple tones, as in the case of Mike and Eleven.

Something that is even somewhat difficult to find using these shades while the two are together, not counting the covers, and also the moments like this one that I have marked.

Taking the fact that explains that in the context of "when yellow meets blue in the west" symbolizing that they are important colors that are taken for important moments and where there is an individual advancement in both people being united.

Why then does the original couple, who are supposed to have yellow and blue predominating in them, not move forward together?

The answer is simple: They do not advance in the way that is expected when being together.

Let's take for example a dialogue that was supposed to be important for both of them, the scene in which they were trying to heal Eleven's injured leg after training against the MindFlayer.

During this scene we are presented with Mike trying to talk to Eleven, as Lucas had repeatedly told him earlier in the episodes after she finished him off.

We can see that during these dialogues, Mike tries to talk to Eleven more directly about how he feels about her, the simple act of apologizing, telling her that he was an idiot for lying to her, or perhaps a simple "I love you, forgive me for not telling you the truth" but while he tries he only manages to stumble over his words and confuse Eleven, not knowing what he was referring to, not understanding Mike's hints in his words and the way in which he himself was trying to tell them.

And can even take into account that before telling him something important he is interrupted by the walkie talkie.

So why didn't Mike just try to tell Eleven directly what he had screamed moments before she got hurt?

It's simple, both had already found their yellow and blue moments before, both realized different things, which later causes their development to begin to fall behind, because they both (specially Eleven) don't need that.

and that's why in this scene, after talking to Eleven about being in contact with her, he acts so confused after she brings up what he had said earlier, and Mike just says he doesn't remember.

That is why when she kisses him and tells him that she loves him, he acts confused, his simple gestures are as if he did not expect that to happen, because he was thinking of saying something very different to Eleven during the failed dialogue they had.

But now, let's see about the yellow one that Mike found when Eleven was not with him.

In which he even had the green with him during that specific scene that I would like to discuss.

Taking into account this specific scene we can realize that it is the complete opposite of how he is expected to behave with Mike, when Eleven tells him that they broke up, Mike does nothing but get upset and go home being angry as hell. same way, but when he has this argument with Will during the pressure of the moment, he simply makes the decision to go after him, knock on his door until he gets tired and tell him that he had been a complete idiot, that he wanted to talk things over with him and without letting him to shout his name and knock on his door.

At the same time, we can take into account that both scenes are totally different, in the scene where Eleven ends up with Mike, there is a big sun, a lot of people, a relaxed atmosphere, but when Mike argues with Will, everything becomes sad, there is no sun, it's raining.

And both end up with emotions twice as strong as they were before.

We can take this as the fact that Eleven had already found her blue, and she felt complete because of it, she didn't need Mike. But in Mike's case everything got even sadder because he still didn't get his yellow, and he felt like he was losing him.

In the case of Robin and Steve, they did not have yellow and blue in their clothes, but there was in their surroundings. I would like to use it in this context to show that although we already gave a more psychological meaning to yellow and blue, the phrase, taken literally can represents a sunset.

and we not only see this in the scene we took, but also in the scene from the season before this one, "crazy together."

and in another scene later, the scene after the fourth season ended

Specifically, I use this because it is an allegory to what I am trying to communicate with this, they are both sitting together, and the sun is touching them both.

At the same time, if I remember correctly, several of the most important scenes in the context of Mike and Will have been after "yellow and blue meet."

I know what you may be wondering, if I'm using the phrase for a more friendly context when putting friendly couples, why specifically Mike and Will don't I put them there too?.

It's simple, because they have already passed that phase, and their relationship has been growing over time, in a more personal and even deeper way even if they were not together, and because the phrase is not only used for friendly couples.

and, no, yellow and blue does not represent Mike and Eleven's relationship, because we can see that after several important moments during Eleven's individual development, she stops using yellow or blue, even during season four she begins to use the blue.

They make it clear to us that Eleven does not need a yellow or a blue to be able to move forward, because if the previous development she had with Max left her.

Is that she can be her own blue and yellow, even another different tone or the one that she wants to use.

For that same reason during the scene where Mike and Will meet after fighting, Mike wears green, hoping that Will could see that he would be both shades for both of them, but, at the end of the day, they would end up completely matching each other.

That's the same reason why, in previous seasons and even episodes within that season, they both continue to use them individually, and have so many important moments together.

Thanks so much for reading. 💛💙

[snowyquokka]

SECRET SECRET

K. SEUNGMIN

chapter 1

cw: swearing, fem reader, academic rivals, angst if you squint, both like each other but wont admit it

wc: 1.2k

a.n - welcome to my first full fic !! im super excited to share this and im actually really proud of it. happy reading <3

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

You’re sitting at your usual spot in the library on your college campus when a book is slammed down on your table, ripping a yelp from your chest as you practically jump out of your skin. You look up to see a smug grin splayed on full, pale pink lips.

Brown eyes sparkle back at you mischievously and before he even opens his mouth, you just know he’s going to say something to purposely aggravate you.

“I don’t want to know, nor do I care.” you grumble before turning back to your book.

“Where the Crawdads Sing.” Seungmin hums, “Didn’t know you had taste,” You ignore him and turn the page.

He huffs and plops down in the seat next to you, his knee brushing against yours as he does.

You snap your head up and admit defeat, placing a bookmark where you left off.

“Since you so rudely interrupted me,”

He rolls his eyes in response to your complaint, “Here we go again,”

“Don’t give me that.” you snap, “You came over here unannounced while I was clearly doing something. So tell me, what is it that you want to brag about now? Hm? Perfect score on the English essay? No wait- I know, you’ve finally succeeded in ass kissing every professor in the building.”

The entire time you were ranting, Seungmin sat with his chin in his palm, face angled towards you. His grin never faltered, which in turn only pissed you off more.

You snap your book shut and move to stand before you feel a hand tug on your sleeve, forcing you to sit.

“I didn’t come over here to brag,” Seungmin readjusts in his chair so his knees are poking the side of your bare thigh, the sudden contact sending warmth throughout you.

“I was hoping we could- I don’t know. Maybe we could be at least civil with each other?.”

Your eyebrows shoot up and your eyes widen.

“C-Civil?” you sputter while searching his face for any trace of ulterior motives.

He nods and fidgets a little. That’s when you realize that he’s nervous.

Seungmin is anything but nervous when it comes to talking to you. He’s always confident while spewing whatever insults he can think of on the spot.

“I uhm- I think I owe you an apology.”

“Excuse me?” That’s not what you meant to say.

Though, you’re fairly certain that whatever you were going to say would’ve come out ten times worse.

“Yeah.” he winces, “Fuck- you know I’m bad at this kind of stuff,” Seungmin huffs and runs a hand through his blonde hair.

“I’m sorry for being a dick,” his broad shoulders deflate and he looks like a weight was literally lifted off of him.

“You’re sorry?”

“Will you stop repeating me?” he scowls.

You can’t help but giggle a little, he couldn’t last two minutes into an apology without looking or sounding annoyed.

“‘M sorry. I just,” you bite your lip to stifle another laugh, “I didn’t think I’d live to see the day that Kim Seungmin apologized for- well, anything.”

He grumbles something incoherently and pushes his knee farther into your thigh. You swallow hard and look behind him at the now very interesting bookshelf.

Seungmin sighs and gets up without another word and leaves. You watch as he rounds the corner and slips through the door.

“What the hell just happened,” you blink and whisper to yourself.

After his sudden apology, Seungmin has avoided you for an entire week now. He won’t even spare you a glance. You’re complaining about it to your best friend, Hyunjin, who also happens to be close with Seungmin.

Small world.

“Look, I don’t know exactly what happened but, like, could you maybe talk to him about it? He’s been killing the mood lately.” Hyunjin brings his iced americano to his lips while you form a bewildered expression.

“Me? You want me to talk to him?” you scoff and lean back in your chair, “Why should I have to? He apologized, I listened. End. Of. Story.”

“Why are you always so stubborn,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes, placing his coffee on the table.

“Ridiculous. Absolutely fucking ridiculous.” you huff and pinch the bridge of your nose. Hyunjin gives you an ‘are you serious’ look.

“If I let you put his number in my phone, will you shut up about it?” He grins and holds out his hand for you to give your phone to him. “And you’re buying me another coffee.”

[You] - cheer up

[Intellectual Demon] - who is this?

[You] - jinnie said that you’ve been a real downer since apologizing to me

[Intellectual Demon] - it’s not even that bad

[You] - i can feel the frown radiating off of you rn

[You] - it’s your aura.

Seungmin smiles to himself proudly. After all, it was his idea to get Hyunjin to give you his number.

Now all he has to do is convince you to meet with him. He’s got it all mapped out; you’ll meet with him at his place, he’ll confess, you’ll reciprocate his feelings and you live happily ever after.

The guy gets the girl, like he always does. It’s a simple, foolproof plan.

Right?

“Yeah, no thanks. I’m good.”

Wrong.

Seungmin was so wrong. Immediately after you pick up the phone he’s already hit with a groan and a ‘what do you want now?’ Nonetheless, he pushed through and asked you to go to his place. You declined, which shouldn’t have surprised him, but it does. Seungmin thought that if he apologized all would be forgiven and you would be more willing to speak to him.

Though, he can only blame himself. He fell-and crashed- first, hard. Instead of admitting his feelings to you, and himself, he tried his hardest to distance himself from you, making you find him unbearable to be around. It worked, of course.

Seungmin wishes it didn’t. He wishes he would’ve just grown a pair and told you. He wishes he didn’t feel so unlovable.

You, on the other hand, have attempted to make your attraction obvious. Someone can only take so much rejection, however. You stopped flirting, stopped even looking in his direction at one point. Seungmin made it crystal clear that he wanted nothing to do with you, and now that he’s apologized you can’t help but catch those feelings all over again.

“Please, just- what do I need to do for you to come here?” Seungmin’s voice echoes through your head, bouncing off the sides as you feel yourself slowly start to give in.

You seriously should stop being a pushover.

“Send me your address, I’ll be there soon.” There’s a pause at the end of the line when Seungmin mutes himself and screams into his pillow.

tags: @godslino @skzstarnet @anakin-sweetheart

dividers: @chaeneuu

[tinytinyblogs]

Can you write something about Yandere Bang Chan?

Home

Home is supposed to be a place where you feel safe, but not when he is there with you.

⚠Yandere theme⚠

Stray kids masterlist here

💌Hi, thank you for your request. I'm sorry it took a while for me to respond. My brain hasn't been working very well lately, so I hope this story is okay. If it's not, I apologize.

Tears silently stream down your cheeks, your red face flushed from trying so hard to hold back your sobs. The cold floor beneath you and the night breeze wafting in from the nearby window seep into your body, making you shiver. "Home?" His deep voice breaks the silence, his words sending a chill down your spine. The huge room where you and Chan are trapped feels like a suffocating prison, the air thick and heavy. It's hard to breathe and move, as if you're chained in place. The clock ticks loudly in the otherwise silent room, adding to the sense of chaos and unease. Your life is in turmoil, and you feel completely out of control.

He rules everything, especially your life, and you have no choice but to submit. You've told him you hate him, you want to go home, and you don't love him like he does, but those words only serve to anger him further. Your body is covered in wounds, and his face is twisted with anger. "Don't be stupid, Y/N," he says. Is this really love? He keeps bombarding you with the word love but his love tastes like poison. To Chan, you're just too stupid to understand. He's delusional, to the point of insanity. In his own little world, you're the main character, and he's dedicated his life to you.

He believes what he wants to believe, and he believes that you will love him as much as he loves you. He thinks you're just too shy to admit the truth. How dare you want to leave him? Don't you see how hard he works to be with you, to possess you? Don't you know how many people he's eliminated, how he watches your every move? And yet you still say you hate him? No one in the world could love you as much as he does. He places his hand on your chin and lifts your face to meet his eyes, ensuring that you have no choice but to look at him. "This is your home, Y/N," he says. "Our home. You don't need to go anywhere."

You thought you were living your best life, but in a blink of an eye, everything changed. Now, all you can see is him and his sinister smile, greeting you like you're the perfect couple, even though you don't really know him at all. You cannot describe the feeling of fear that coursed through your veins at his touch. The flower path he had given you felt like a prison, and you felt like you were walking on broken glass. You knew you shouldn't give in to him, you shouldn't listen to whatever he had to say, but you had no choice.

His power was too much for you to resist, and you were forced to remain silent and listen to his every word. Chan hates the idea of hurting you, because you are his precious diamond. But he believes you need to learn the truth. He needs to show you who you need the most in the world—only him, and no one else. "You will love me," he says. Call him crazy or insane if you want, but who do you think made him this way? It was you, from the moment he first saw you. His heart screamed that he needed to be with you, no matter what. From day one, you have been his, even though you have made it difficult for him by not letting anyone else get close to you. "No," he says.

"You should love me as much as I love you." Your mind is blank, your mouth is too heavy to speak, and you are too weak to move away from him. "No one could love me as much as I do, Y/N," he says. The thought of being trapped with him for the rest of your life makes you want to scream. What kind of monster is he, and why do you have to face him? Why you? Chan sees you as different. No one else in the world is as interesting to him as you are, and you have captured his attention. He believes that you owe him something for this. "No one." You could hear the rain falling outside, its sound filling your ears.

You kept your whole attention on Chan, just as he wanted. "You don't need anybody else," he said. But how could his voice still be so clear to you, even though he didn't raise it above the sound of the rain, which was getting heavier and heavier? "No, I'll never let anyone steal you from me." Chan feels like he's on top of the world with you by his side. This moment is one he'll cherish forever. He's won the game he created, and you're the loser. He has all the power and has destroyed the wall of freedom you once had. Nothing could be better than knowing he'll have you by his side forever, to spend his life with you doing all the things lovers do.

"You're mine," he says. "Remember that." His heart pounded so loudly in his chest that he wondered if you could hear it. Your own heart raced as well, but not because of happiness. You hated this moment, and you were terrified of the man in front of you. he doesn't care what you feel right now. He touches you, he kisses you, he hugs you, whispering words of love in your ear. He doesn't care if you believe him because happiness hitting him like a truck and he flying like there is no gravity. "Got it right?" He smiled his anger melted away, replaced by a goofy smile as he thought about you and your future together, the kind of smile that made people think he was kind-hearted, sweet, and angelic. But he wasn't.

He was far from it. The real Chan was a devil in angel's clothing. "Give me a word, Y/N." Closing your eyes, you nodded your head aggressively, surrendering all that you should have had in life to him. Chan glares at your wounds, believing that they are enough to make you submit to his will. He is convinced that you will fall for him, even though you have told him that you hate him. You are on the edge of a cliff, and Chan is poised to push you off into the abyss, into his perfect life. He is determined to have you, no matter what the cost. You crawled to him, just as he had instructed. The headache pounded in your temples, but you didn't speak a word. Your nod was enough for him. He understood perfectly and was beyond satisfied with your response.

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Congratulations Mimi on your 700 followers 🥳🥳🥳🥳!!! THAT IS AMAZING!

For your prompts, would either of these spark your fancy?

"I've always dreamed of watching a sunset like this." For Cody!

And/or

"Where will you go now that the war is over?" For Wolffe!

💙

Ahhh my lovely! Thank you so much @ulchabhangorm for submitting such awesome requests.

I apologize for the delay, my keyboard decided to die on me yesterday, so I had to wait for the delivery today. I hope you love these two stories for you. I'll be posting them separately.

I hope you love them.

Love oo,

Sunset

Warning: sand, annoyance, friendly banter, slight flirting, guilt, seeking forgiveness, rumours, slight touching, voyeur, I think that's all the warnings. If I miss any please let me know.

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Whether it was the heat, the sand, or maybe it was the aches from old wounds you suffered throughout your less than glorious career as a salvager, but everything in your body was screaming at you to stop and making walking that much harder. Your feet felt as though they were being dragged through sand. You stopped walking and looked down at the sand surrounding your feet. Right. You were walking through sand, it felt like you’d been walking through it for a millennia, and you’d be beyond happy if you never see another rock, bramble, or desert, beach, anything containing sand for a long long time. 

God, how could there be so much sand, you shifted your clothes, feeling the little grains in between your clothes. 

“Don’t fall behind.”

You glanced up to look at Cody, glaring at your relatively new companion, “Does it look like I’m falling behind?” You asked exhausted, annoyed, and at the end of your tether.

“Yes. Hence why I said, don’t fall behind.” He chuckled as he started walking again, shaking his head. When he went awol from the Empire, the last thing he ever expected was to be found floating adrift, in the ship he had absconded with; and regardless of how much effort he put into fixing the derelict spacecraft nothing helped. The hyperdrive was damaged beyond repair, and if it hadn’t been for you showing up, trying to salvage what you could, he would’ve been dead now. For that alone he would be eternally grateful.

A sigh escaped your lips as you kept trudging behind him, “You know the only reason I’m here is because you owe me for saving your life, and you said you needed to find your friend, and once you found your friend you’d be able to pay me back. However, in all that fancy talk, not once did you mention anything about trudging through this gods-forsaken wasteland of a planet. Which is not my idea of you paying me back.”

He let out a laugh, as he stopped and turned to look at you, “Cyar’ika, you know I’m good for it. I promise, I will pay you back, and I will even try and help you find your brother.”

You let out another sigh of resignation, “Fine, whatever. I’ll choose to believe in you.”

“There’s the spirit.”

“Who are you looking for anyway? I mean I know you said a friend, but if your friend is all the way out in the recesses of human cohabitation maybe they don’t want to be found. Ever thought of that?”

Cody just hummed. Truth was that ever since he heard the rumour that Obi-wan might be alive, all he wanted, no, all he needed was to find out if that was true. He needed to know he hadn’t killed his General, the man he looked up to, the man who … opened his eyes to a world he never expected. 

“I have cyar’ika and honestly …” he stood on the ridge of the dune, the Jundland Wastes of Tatooine laying there before him, “it scares me to know that he might not want to see me. Things … didn’t end well between us, the last time we saw each other.”

You stood beside him as you looked out at the wasteland, “What happened?”

“I tried to kill him.”

Silence filled the air between the both of you, shock and surprise radiating off you, “Oh.”

“I wasn’t in my right mind … doesn’t excuse what I did, regardless.”

“So you’re … hoping for what? Forgiveness?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I’m just hoping that we can eventually make it back to just being friends. He was like a brother to me. Clones take brotherhood very seriously, and I betrayed his trust.”

“But you said you weren’t in your right mind.”

“Doesn’t change the fact I gave the order to fire.”

Your eyes took in Cody’s countenance, he looked apprehensive, his hands were balled into fists, his shoulder was squared off, everything about him screamed he was either getting ready to fight or he was scared. You slowly reached over and held his hand, moving his fingers away from the tightened fist. 

He glanced down as he felt your fingers loosening his, he couldn’t help smile as his eyes slowly met yours. It was a simple gesture, and that meant more to him than anything he’d ever experienced before. 

“If he is as good a friend as you say he was, and he viewed you as a brother too, it might take some time, but I’m sure he’ll forgive you eventually.”

“I hope you’re right, cyar’ika.”

You couldn’t help the smile that appeared on your lips, “You will have to tell me what that means eventually.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Mmm, yeah, you do. Especially if you want to keep flying in my ship,” you laughed, your smile slowly fading. “Is that why you didn’t want to fly the ship out here, afraid he’d hear the engines and go into hiding?”

“Yeah.”

You gave a slight nod in understanding, at least you were able to leave your ship with someone you trusted. If only your speeders actually lasted for the whole trip, your legs wouldn’t have been feeling like they were about to fall off. 

“What do you think? Camp for the night here, and then make our way into the labyrinth of the Jundland Wastes? Or should we just try and see what we can find before night falls?”

“No, let’s camp …” he pulled out his binocs and searched the area, he pointed to an elevated rock face, the ridge line looked flat enough, “that should work, and provide us with an unobstructed view.”

“Alright,” you nodded, “lead on.” You adjusted your pack, pulling your hand away from his, following him to the campsite.

It wasn’t long before you both had set up your camp, you were finishing up the stew you were making for dinner, when your eyes fell on Cody, sitting on the edge of the cliff, his feet dangling over the edge. You passed him a bowl as you sat beside him, “What are you thinking?”

Cody smiled as he looked at you, he reached up and gently wiped away some dust and dirt from your hike, “I’ve always dreamed of watching a sunset like this, but I never thought it would’ve been possible.” He focused back on the twin setting suns, “It’s beautiful.”

Your eyes simply focused on his face, and the smile he had on his lips, your heart clenched in your chest, your breath quickened, as you watched him enjoy his freedom, feeling so much in that moment. “Yeah, it is.” You whispered, focusing back on your stew, as you both sat in silence eating your dinner, as your knees touched.

Obi-wan watched the two of you from a distance, his thumb and forefinger stroking his beard. A small smile on his lips as he saw his Commander, his friend, his brother-in-arms, happy and not alone.

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[thesoftboiledegg]

"Analyze Piss" was a great episode but not what I expected, which made it hard to write a review at first. I assumed that most of the episode would take place in Dr. Wong's office with Rick hashing out some of his issues. Admittedly, I guess that's what happened in a more indirect (and more entertaining) way.

When Jerry's fight with Pissmaster went on for a good couple of minutes, I was like...are we seriously spending valuable screentime on this? But I guess we needed to see Jerry being a badass and humiliating Pissmaster to understand why the world was fawning over him.

The topic of change keeps coming up this season. People tell Rick that he won't change, and he doesn't want to, but he IS changing. Unfortunately, no one seems to notice.

He tries to tell Jerry that acting like a superhero is a bad idea. The family boos him. He tells them at the end of the episode that he knew Jerry's adventures would fall apart, and they boo him again.

Rick tells them that they're only praising him for trying to change because they want to feel superior--and maybe he's right. In their minds, THEY don't have to change anything. HE does. And it's 100% true that Rick's fucked up a lot of shit, he's been abusive, he's hurt Morty in ways that he probably can't atone for, and he needs therapy more than anybody.

But they talk about his therapy visits in a condescending way, like "Aww, that's so cute! Are you going to change for us, Rick? Are you going to be docile and passive?" They praise him when they think that Rick concocted some crazy plan to boost Jerry's ego for no reason. When they learn the truth, they turn on him again.

I won't say that he doesn't deserve it. They don't owe him anything, and they'd be well within their rights to kick him out of the house and never talk to him again. But Rick didn't create the toxic family dynamic that Beth and Jerry had been cooking up for 16 years before he showed up. I think they're telling themselves that everything that happens is his fault, and he's getting to the point where he's kind of letting them think that.

Rick smiles to himself when the Smiths leave with Jerry on his ship (although he does drink from his flask) and ignores a couple of the bad guys tailing him. When they start fighting each other and leave him alone, he thinks that he's got it all figured out.

But inevitably, he starts to fall apart. He gets drunk and hears people at the bar mocking Pissmaster. "Who could relate, being that much of a piece of shit?" Rick can. He and Pissmaster aren't that different--they provoke people, they're pieces of shit and everyone wants them to be the villain. He's going to visit Pissmaster so they can drink beer and bond over their shitty lives.

He arrives to find that Pissmaster killed himself. Through the door, Rick hears Pissmaster's daughter apologize and say that she's worried about him, she loves him and she'd blame herself if something happened to him--all things that Rick would love to hear from his own daughter, and probably never will hear. At least not in that same fretful, emotional tone.

Everything goes to shit for everyone except Pissmaster's daughter, who believes that her father died a hero. Admittedly, Rick shouldn't have told Morty about the note--it's understandable that he'd want someone to know the truth, but he can't trust a 14-year-old kid with that information, and he needs to stop seeing Morty as his peer anyway. He should've taken it to Dr. Wong.

But telling the truth just makes the Smiths turn on him again. And after all that, why should Rick change? Why be honest? Why not play the roles that they want him to play: the aggressive villain or the docile old man, or both?

Sometimes, the people around you don't want you to change even if it's for the best. I don't think the Smiths want anything to change. That would force Beth and Jerry to face their shitty marriage and the ways they abused and neglected their children, especially Morty, and that's not going to happen.

Just keep blaming everything on the drunk old man in the garage.

But Rick IS changing. In seasons 1-4, Rick would have taken the fact that they believed that he was always Pissmaster as an opportunity to gloat and manipulate everyone. Here, he just looks at them sadly. He tries to talk Jerry out of doing something that he knows will end badly. He desperately tells Morty the truth because he's sick of lying. And the entire premise of the episode is based on Rick willingly going to therapy.

Seasons five and six have countless moments that show that Rick's trying to grow up, show affection, be a father figure, admit to his fuckups and treat Morty gently. Even in season four, he was starting to cut the bullshit a little.

And it must be hard on him. Everything was easier when he was a monster. Beth loved him, Jerry was out of the way and he did whatever he wanted with no guilt, fear or regret while suppressing his trauma and shame. Wouldn't it be easier to be the heartless patriarch who can manipulate his family into doing anything? Go on adventures? Cook and clean for him? Stop talking to Jerry? Show him affection? Actually want to be around him? Make him feel human again?

There's no going back even if he tried--they know him too well now. And he shouldn't go back because he was a monster destroying his entire family. But he needs the Smiths' affection and encouragement if he's going to get anywhere because he's not going to get it from himself.

[jesncin]

I'm not an immigrant to my country. I'm not part of a marginalized race or religion. But even to me it makes so much sense that Clark isn't immediately going around telling anyone just by knowing how quickly people turn and act so cruel for no reason. How horrible behavior doesn't even need an excuse, just a target. How even without the violence, people can grow... strange in ways I don't want to get into.

Of course Clark approached this Lois as he did. Of course Kal told her, this reporter, his name and origins. Of course she reciprocated. A "normal" Lois might not have even if she had something to do it with, but this one has had so many different experiences growing up big and small. Things that I know people would insist can be easily ignored. The put-downs, the look-overs, the snide remarks... Told she's too smart, too "dumb", too "needy", too "pushy", too "weird", too... too... much. Any Lois is brash and unapologetic. But...

Of course Kal-El and Lois Liando are being so understanding where a more "canon" Kal-El and Lois Lane might struggle. What is canon but stories already told and shaped by other times and points of view? This isn't something you have to alter to fit the demands of a boss or publisher, so you're free to let the characters breathe and truly be themselves as they've been cast here. Different but at the heart still who they are. They're able to see and think instead of acting rashly or use words as daggers. Able to be compassionate as much as possible instead of dramatic. To be kind in a cruel world.

I'm sorry that this went on a while but I've rewritten this so many times over the course of a week and this... is as short and as clear as I'm able to get it. I hope you have a good day.

Hi! Yeah I'm glad that even people outside of the experience can understand how Clark's superhero identity is a marginalized one (especially compared to other heroes). When the concept of "foreign"-ness is brought into the equation, people can be cruel. It's why I personally find takes where "people are mad at Clark for ~lying~ about not disclosing his identity" so distasteful.

There we go!! Yeah you get it!! Lois is still a jaded reporter, it's just that her jadedness now comes from a very specific history and experience. Superman still gives her hope, but now it's because she sees herself in his story. Superman still reaches out to Lois to tell his story, but now it's because he knows Lois would do the story justice as an immigrant writer. I was concerned that people would think Superman sharing his Kryptonian name would be "too soon" to do for the Private Interview event, but I'm glad that readers like you understand why he trusts Lois Liando with it. It's common for people of similar experiences/identities to open up to each other sooner than most- because they know that the other person gets it.

:) A thing I've been saying a lot to people lately is "you don't have to work for DC comics to make DC comics". Canon itself can be pretty nebulous, so why can't fanon (where there are no editors and ideally no gatekeepers) be any different? And just because it's fanon, doesn't mean it can't give you the same (if not more) feelings as canon does. It's probably because I rendered the Private Interview comic to a horrifyingly professional degree (lmao I'm putting that comics Masters degree to use) but I've gotten a weird amount of responses that assume my comic needs to justify itself with canon. When no fanon work owes anybody that. I'm glad readers like you get it, y'know!

Oh my, don't apologize for taking the time to write such kind words (for over a week??!)! I really appreciate it, thank you dearly!

[bleeding-star-heart]

These tags on a reblog of my Anders analysis are another problem I have with DA:2's writing

#god i have so many feelings about this#cuz i romanced anders my first playthrough#and i hated that our relationship did a 180 as soon as I was like#“im not gonna let you gaslight me into doing war crimes”#was it OOC?#i don't know#I can't say#I haven't studied anders as a character or taken the time to contemplate him enough to speak on it#but i just know it was such a turn off that i started a new game entirely EDIT: I have removed the word "gaslighting" from this meta owing to the fact that technically, Anders isn't gaslighting, because gaslighting is something different. Gaslighting being trying to make someone doubt their perception of reality, among other things. What Anders ACTUALLY does falls under emotional manipulation. I would say to the OP that yes, indeed, this is VERY "out of character", so to speak. Most definitely for JUSTICE, the spirit inhabiting Anders's body. But also for Anders as well. Think about it: emotionally manipulating one's romantic partner is an inherently unjust thing to do. It is not something two people who respect and love each other do. Yet the spirit of Justice is completely silent when it happens. A being that supposedly embodies nothing but Justice simply...allows his host to guilt his lover into doing something they disagree with. He does not protest or try to stop Anders from engaging in a truly toxic form of emotional manipulation. If written properly, Justice should immediately have called Anders out on this. Which should prompt either an apology from Anders or a long, seemingly one-man argument between the two. But that doesn't happen. In fact, Justice only shows up if you, as Anders's rival, manage to turn him AGAINST blowing up the Chantry. And then, only to railroad Anders back into the role of terrorist. This, combined with Justice's general lack of reaction to any injustice or violation of rights that DOESN'T have to do with mages, causes him to become little more than a cheap plot device. Now as to why I don't believe a properly written Anders would do it, either. Anders at this point in the story is a revolutionary, yes. He is passionate about his cause. But he is also MORE than that. And part of that 'more'-and also WHY he's a revolutionary-is that he was a victim of a controlling, emotionally manipulative institution. One that bombards people like him with all kinds of unhealthy messaging. Messages like: the outside world is guaranteed to hate you, your (unchangeable) nature is inherently wrong and sinful. As well as: you can't trust yourself at all, you are one bad day from being a monster, you need to let us control you for your own good. Anders probably saw more than one person like Keili-that girl in the Mage Origin who actively believes she's evil and prays to 'not be a mage'. He probably encountered a lot of mages with varying degrees of religiously based self-loathing. He probably had some himself. And he lived in the Ferelden Circle. He's also a person who not only left a toxic institution, but actively sees and complains about how toxic the institution is. People who've suffered from toxic environments/relationships and RECOGNIZE how toxic those environments/relationships were, tend to value healthy relationships/environments. They try and work on themselves to remove any lingering psychological effects of that toxicity. It is highly likely that Anders would NOT want to repeat the kind of emotional manipulation he and others were subjected to. While he might not agree with Hawke about methods, Anders would not believe guilt to be a good tactic because guilt is one of the very tactics the Chantry used on him! Guilt about being a target for demonic possession, guilt about what the magisters did, guilt about being a mage in general.

Guilting his partner into agreeing with him, is, essentially, him doing what the Chantry did to him. And if the writers had put any thought into his character, they would have realized that too. And thus, if they were smart, or and simply give the player the option to permanently decline the quest with no negative consequences. The other option is to lean into that, and purposefully make it a character flaw, that he's too blinded by trauma to see that. But the writers did NOT have the time to be able to successfully pull that off. Thus, yeah. They make Anders, who suffered from religious based emotional manipulation...into someone who emotionally manipulates his partners. Which is yet another thing done in the name of a less-than-stellar ending and plot beat. EDIT: I have removed the word "gaslighting" from my part of this meta owing to the fact that technically, Anders isn't gaslighting Hawke, because gaslighting is something different. Gaslighting being trying to make someone doubt their perception of reality, among other things. What Anders ACTUALLY does falls under emotional manipulation. Which I still don't believe a properly written Anders OR Justice would do, for the reasons stated above.

[namwool]

Imma rant~ Apologies ignore and delete this if you want. I just want to get this off my chest.

I'm actually relieved you're not a fan of Yue Qingyuan either! It's quite rare to find someone who shares that sentiment. Shen Jiu is the only character I'd go to bat for as well, despite his limited presence in the story. I'm not particularly fond of Liu Qingge either, especially since many fanfics paint him as this overly righteous figure, which doesn't seem to align with his character's complexity. He's a PIDIW character of course he's head has a screw loose up in there.

If imma be honest Bingge was gonna be hated if he was in any man's peak including YQ and be loved in close proximity to females because of his system halo. The OG Luo Binghe greek tragedy truly wasn't the abuse that set him off it was his greediness he really wants to covet his cruel Shizun so bad he'd go to the Walmart version to pick it up. His longing for his cruel Shizun is so intense that he'd settle for a lesser version of him, which is quite telling. If his feelings toward Shen Jiu were purely hatred, he wouldn't have subjected him to such prolonged torture unlike palace master. It's evident that his emotions toward his Shizun are more complicated than simple animosity; there's something deeper there that he craves. It's almost a relief that the story didn't take a turn toward a "2HA" scenario, if OG Binghe decided a different kind of torture .

The number of fanfics that portray Shen Yuan as the sole reason for Luo Binghe's victory and love triumph over the protagonist is astounding. They often depict Shen Yuan's kindness as the catalyst for winning over Little Binghe's heart, when in reality, he wears a mask of a precious teacher. Thats it! He has his face. That what makes him special. If true kindess and loves from his wives didn't get him going what makes Shen Yuan different? I know most are MC bias but like... knowing MXTX works and identites and the fact this wasn't revealed made me go whaat ?

If that were true, the reveal would have happened already. Bingmei and Bingge are both undeniably deranged in both worlds, and he was a white lotus; I can't comprehend why so many reveal fics portray him as calm. He would have gone crazy and lose his shit, not calm, in all these circumstances, as depicted in these fics.

I dislike the other Peak Lords, but Yue Qingyuan frustrates me the most because of his ineffectiveness as a leader. His relationship is one I feel would have been better left unresolved with loose ends, much like with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng because some relationships are better left to be departed and let go . As a reader, I wonder how many times he can just fail before giving up and throwing in the towel. What angered me the most was Shen Jiu being tortured inhumanely for who knows how long, until his severed legs were sent to him, which finally spurred Yue Qingyuan into action. That is truly sickening! I can't help but imagine himself in that situation needing help and, and as a reader would resent YQ for it. Does his tragic death make up for it when his childhood friend was suffering? As a reader, I care less about Yue Qingyuan's personal struggles. I know he has trauma, but in such dire circumstances, how can he not push himself for Shen Jiu? He has all the power but limits himself, unable to move forward and often fumbling.

If SJ can drop and go 100% and he can't then it's relationship is unequal. I once came across a damn Tiktok talking about shit like if " YQ was a different person one day or acted strange Shen jiu would do his damnest to find out who it is he wouldn't just stop he'd keep going because of his heart and would be the same for the rest of the Peak Lords".

What infuriates me the most is that he owes him a life debt—one that he was deeply involved in, and yet Shen Jiu saved him. Despite everything, all Shen Jiu needed was for someone to believe in his good heart and see him as a good person, even if it was just one person. It would have meant the world to know that his big brother truly understood his nature, especially considering his deep self-loathing. If just one person believed in him, it could have greatly improved his mental health. Yue Qingyuan was saved by Shen Jiu and could have taken significant actions, such as clarifying the rumors and not appearing so guilt-ridden, which led others to misinterpret his relationship with his shidi. At the very least, even if he couldn't explain "why," he could have shown through his actions how much Shen Jiu meant to him. Shen Jiu saved him twice—how could he not find it in his heart to believe in him?

That was makes me so pissed off. YQ didn't so I see him as a disgrace. Like YQ passiveness is like seeing the stupid trainwreck of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu.

LQG for all his bullshit is weirdly the one I felt would work simply because of his personality and character dynamic with Shen jiu lol.

I have no idea how long this ask has been in my inbox. Sorry for the late answer!

Anyways, I agree with almost everything you said, except the torture part.

While I do agree that ripping apart someone's body is inhuman, it does align with the "historical" context of the novel. I did prepare a post some time ago about historical abuse in Svsss, but I didn't post it because I didn't want to fuel the fandom or create anymore beef.

I too don't think LBG loves SY. Or anyone really except maybe Zhuzhi-Lang? But as far as I personally saw in the book, everyone who took an interest in him was because he was in SQQ's body. That's my personal interpretation, I might be wrong, I might be right. Even LQG's interest, to me at least, seems to mostly be because he believed SY!SQQ to be SJ!SQQ. (I love Liujiu, I might be extra biased here. Not sorry.)

YQY had plenty of chances to come clean, like... you can't tell me he didn't know how possessive SJ was over him. Sj literally killed his demonic shizun to save him, and chose to follow him to Cang Qiong. I don't believe anyone who says "YQY didn't know". Let's not forget SJ almost fought a bunch of other kids for calling him their Qi-ge.

There's also this other thing that bothered me: YQY assuming the same thing as everyone else.

Like, he had the power, the position, the respect of everyone. If he went to the RWP to investigate the truth, with how highly respected he is, no one would say a thing.

Their relationship is so one-sided it hurts. I physically can't stomach canon YQY. I'm sorry. I prefer the fanon one.

The thing that bothers me, is that I can't even fully blame him. It's Airplane the problem. He wrote the characters that way. Had SY never transmigrated, disrupting the novel, YQY would have never revealed why he failed to save SJ.

I hate Airplane more than I dislike YQY 😤

Also, 2ha kina creeps me out. I wish someone told me what the books were about before I bought the first three volumes together. I regret investing my money in those books 🥲

[hinatastinygiant]

11 | Death

Pairing: Uzui x Fem!Reader

The Emptiness You Left

UZUI'S P.O.V.

By the time I am able to meet the girls for dinner, I see everything has gone to shit. Y/N has her head down on the table- she looks like she's about to cry- and Suma is trying to comfort her. Hinatsuru looks at me and shakes her head while Makio can't wipe an angry look off her face.

"What's going on here?" I ask, walking up to the table.

"Makio," Hinatsuru grumbles, "Ruined the night."

"Me?!" Makio gasps. "It was Y/N who wouldn't stop being depressing! Every single time she opened her mouth she was talking about some depressing topic."

"Because I can't stop thinking about it!" Y/N cries, "I can't stop thinking about those kids, or the families like mine who are being ripped apart! Or the ones who aren't so lucky and end up being eaten by demons!"

"That's enough," I sigh, shaking my head. "Go dance. I'm going to talk to Y/N for a bit."

Reluctantly, the three women agree and walk off to the area where the band is playing.

"What's going on with you?" I ask her, sliding into the chair across from her.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes, wiping her eyes. "It's just... This is the first time I've been to a place like this. Has the world always been like this? With people so happy while the rest of the world suffering? It feels so wrong."

"It is," I nod, agreeing with her, "but you don't need to feel guilty just because you're having a fun night, Y/N. You're allowed to relax."

"I know, I know. You're right," she nods, looking at the empty spot at the table. "But how can I when I know everything that's going on?"

I sigh. I suppose I should have talked to her about this sooner. It's not the first time I've had a demon slayer struggle with the same thoughts and emotions.

"Y/N," I begin, and she looks up at me. Her eyes are watery, and her cheeks are flushed. "Neither of us can change the whole world, but I would at least like to try to make the people around me happy... To make you happy."

Her eyes widen and she looks completely shocked by my words.

"You don't think it will be completely selfish of me to have a good time while the rest of the world suffers?" she asks, a tear rolling down her cheek.

"No," I shake my head. "The way I see it, if you don't learn to have fun once in a while, you'll never survive. You don't have to be perfect all the time, Y/N. And the world is full of suffering. It's only manageable to help those around us feel better. You'll get tired and weak otherwise."

"Thank you, Master Uzui," she nods before taking in a deep breath. "I suppose I owe Makio an apology for bringing down the mood."

"She'll get over it. She's just upset that you aren't having a good time like she thought you would. But she does care about you, Y/N," I tell her. "All of them do."

"I know," she nods.

"Well, why don't we start having some fun, huh?" I say, standing up and holding out my hand for her to take. "Let's go dance."

She hesitates for a moment, but then, with a small smile on her face, she reaches her hand out and takes mine.

"Okay," she says, following behind me.

I lead her over to where the band is playing and gently place my hand on her back. "Forget about the bad stuff. Just enjoy the good right now," I whisper to her.

She nods slowly, and we begin to dance.

As we move together, her arms wrap around my neck and my hand slips lower down her back. Our eyes meet, and I feel something different in the air between us. She bites her cheek and looks away.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of when she first arrived at my estate. Suma was so protective of her, refused to leave her side. And when Hinatsuru asked me what my plans were with her I nearly choked. Now, here I am, dancing with the very girl I was trying my best not to get close to.

When I snap out of my thoughts, I look over and see Makio dancing with Suma while Hinatsuru downs another glass of what appears to be champagne.

"Master Uzui," Y/N suddenly calls to me as she takes a step back and stops dancing. I look at her worriedly, hoping she's not still feeling upset.

"Yes?"

"Thank you for being kind to me and taking me in. I really appreciate all you have done to help me these past months.

I look into her eyes and can tell that she's sincere.

"Of course," I nod.

"And I'm sorry that I keep messing up," she says, and her voice trembles. "I just really want this to work out because of my-"

When she stops her sentence mid-way, my curiosity piques. I'm about to ask her to finish her sentence when I notice her eyes drift away. When I follow her gaze, I see her looking at Suma who's still dancing with Hinatsuru and Makio.

"There's something I have to tell you, Master Uzui, and I don't think you're going to like it," Y/N says, looking back up at me.

"What is it, Y/N?"

She swallows nervously, and then begins, "Well, I'm not sure if here is a good place to talk about it..."

Before she can continue, I grab her by her arm and pull her out the back door and into an alley.

"Y/N, I swear if something's been going on behind my back-"

"It's not that, Master Uzui, I promise," she says.

"Then what is it? What's the problem? Are you sick? Injured? Is there something I can do?"

Y/N looks up at me and gulps. I don't think I've ever seen her this nervous before. "The thing is..."

The Emptiness You Left

[keenmemes]

𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐂.  𝐋𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐂  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒. ↪  feel free to change wording, pronouns, etc. as necessary.

‘ am i a villain or a saint? ’  ‘ it’s not my fault.  it never was. ’  ‘ maybe you should let me go. ’  ‘ do you need me the way you say you do? ’  ‘ if i’m not careful, my love might consume you. ’  ‘ does it really have to end like this? ’  ‘ you told me that you loved me last night. ’  ‘ why is it always misery that i choose? ’  ‘ i am nothing, no one, nobody no more. ’  ‘ i always find a way to prove that i’m undeserving of you. ’  ‘ i think you owe me an apology. ’  ‘ i’m a bad man, if i’m just being honest. ’  ‘ i got carried away, just like i always do. ’  ‘ having it all is never enough. ’  ‘ you could kill me, and you should. ’  ‘ i just love to pick a fight. ’  ‘ let’s see how fast you can run. ’  ‘ i can’t keep guessing if it’s me you’re missing. ’  ‘ i gave you my word. ’  ‘ i am the lie that you adore. ’  ‘ i am the closest thing to god, so worship me and never stop. ’  ‘ why won’t you look at me? ’  ‘ you’re the only one that can calm me down. ’  ‘ did you ever take a moment just to think about anyone other than yourself? ’  ‘ i did a lot wrong i can’t make right. ’  ‘ i don’t care if it hurts. ’  ‘ i’m too young to feel so numb. ’  ‘ make me feel something. ’  ‘ i’ve been holding on with all my might. ’  ‘ nothing seems to make me feel okay. ’  ‘ i am the thing you created. ’  ‘ must be nice to have a way to cope. ’  ‘ do you think there’s something wrong with me? ’  ‘ give me a reason to believe in you. ’  ‘ i’ll do anything; just tell me what you need. ’  ‘ the more you care, the more they make you pay. ’  ‘ i was doomed from the start. ’  ‘ if i could go back, i wouldn’t change a single thing. ’  ‘ i used to believe in justice. ’  ‘ fear’s good for profit. ’  ‘ i’m done with feeling empty. ’  ‘ these memories are nothing to me. ’  ‘ every time you go, i come a little undone. ’  ‘ there’s no love left.  was there ever any? ’  ‘ you wanna play pretend?  well, i can’t. ’  ‘ i wish i could forget we ever met. ’  ‘ some days, the world is way too loud. ’  ‘ there’s nothing you can do to save me now. ’  ‘ tell me the truth.  are you really surprised? ’  ‘ i need to know where your loyalties lie. ’  ‘ you keep on talking with nothing to say. ’  ‘ how could i change when i’m still the same person? ’  ‘ you are everything that i’d die for. ’  ‘ don’t let your conscience get in the way. ’  ‘ who’s to say that i am not to blame? ’ 

[bylertruther]

no cause the last anón is so right. I scrapped a 50k byler fic because I actually got worried people might call me weird or a freak like they do others. I was on twitter when the whole fiasco went down and it pissed me off but if you even tried to speak there were so many accounts saying you were “speaking over minors” and calling you a predator/pedophile. So many of my moots deactivated bc of the hate- they eventually started attacking people for their ages alone saying it was weird that 20 year olds theorized and talked about byler. Literally word for word “you’re a freak if you’re 20 and read byler fics. Why are you fantasizing about two little 14 year old boys making out” if they would take a step back and think that maybe people are so interested in this relationship is bc they see their younger selves in these two characters then maybe they wouldn’t say such stupid shit. Anyway sorry for ranting I just have been fuming since that whole thing happened. I just wish they would take a step back and stop and think about why they see a kiss between two boys written and immediately shout creep.

oh no, anon! i'm so sorry to hear about your fic & your experience. i hope you feel comfortable enough to post it one day, if you still want to. 🥺 and don't ever apologize for expressing yourself!

not to be a cunt, but i am a cunt, so, ahem. from the bottom of my heart... fuck them kids. 🫶 i literally do not give a single shit about any of the ""discourse"" they inflict on us all. "speaking over minors" why are you even speaking to begin with, huh? 🤨 why are you buzzing into an adult's space and picking a fight when a) literally no one fucking asked you to, and b) you're just going to cry "waaaaah but i'm a minorrr :(" as if you're somehow the victim in this situation after they dare to defend themselves against your serious and unsupported allegations? be normal or piss the fuck off and do your homework.

and why do people take them seriously? disregarding the fact that anyone of any age can be a shipper & the awful homophobia laced in such rhetoric...

this is the internet. no one owes you shit & the wild web will never, ever cater to you. you need to curate your own space and protect yourself. this is, like.. basic shit. like, bare-fucking-bones basic shit. it's not anyone else's responsibility but your own. they taught me that in school, my parents told me that, and also i have a functioning brain that can come to that conclusion, too. people need to stop pretending like what these people are asking for—which is your silence and your shame—is reasonable. it's not. content gets tagged, there are multiple extensions to blacklist any tags you don't like, some of it gets put behind a privacy wall, block buttons exist, many websites have filtering options, and so on and so forth. there are multiple measures people can take to both find things and avoid them. and a lot of the time, content is something you have to seek out yourself. so, if you don't like it, why did you click on it? why spend any time on it when you could've just backspaced? how is your ineptitude anyone else's problem?

also, people need to stop throwing the words pedophilia, pedophile, and predator around. you're being an insensitive jackass when you do that. someone writing about two fictional characters is not abusive scum of the fucking earth. you're watering those acts down and showcasing your ignorance for the world to see when you throw their names around carelessly. a child predator does awful, sinister, repulsive things to real life people who did not deserve that. someone writing a first kiss or practice kissing fic is not anywhere near that and i'm tired of people pretending like this is an okay thing to say or even think. just shut the fuck up and stop saying those words if you don't actually understand the gravity of what they mean.

another thing: a lot of these people aren't just kids. grown folk fall for the same shitty rhetoric, too. it's all just groupthink and herd mentality. no one wants to get attacked so they just repeat the same shit without thinking about it beyond "protecting" themselves (which is senseless as well because conditional acceptance is not true acceptance, but i digress). this fandom would be in a much better place if people were willing to stand their ground and defend their friends when this stuff happens. it gets worse and worse if you just turn a blind eye to it and fall in line. we're all waking up and finally seeing the consequences of that now.

of course, this doesn't really apply to when you're getting attacked by hundreds of people. that's... just shitty and hard and demoralizing. i'm not victim-blaming, because no one wants to be on the receiving end of that and i know that you can't control what others do.

my argument is that it gets to that point because the fandom as a whole just lets it slide by never holding the right people accountable for their actions. they allow the needless bullying to happen. they allow the rhetoric to get crazier and crazier. they allow people to get fucking crucified for shit that isn't even remotely inappropriate. they reblog posts they don't believe in because they don't want to be the odd one out and get accused of something by someone with more followers than them. it's just... we, as a whole, need to support each other more and put our foot down when shit like that starts happening.

it isn't normal. it isn't okay. it hasn't ever been okay.

like... i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for them to kiss, for people to want them to kiss, or for people to make them kiss in their creations. i KNOW that you KNOW that it isn't weird for anyone of any age to enjoy a love story of any kind. we know these things. some of us just pretend like we don't online for whatever fucking reason. and i don't get it! i don't get why they would do that and willingly allow this place to become worse for it. you don't get anything good out of that.

also, a lot of those people are being trolls. they get a kick out of attacking people as a group, because that's the only time they feel brave and the only way they get attention in life. they don't think before they say things, because they don't see you as a human being—you're just pixels on a greasy screen. they use catchy social justice lingo to make what they're saying sound like something you should support, but at the end of the day, they're literally just gussying up the same right-wing shit we've been subjected to for ages. it's regressive rhetoric that's clear to see once you've allowed yourself to see it.

like, i agree with you. i do. you're absolutely, undoubtedly right in what you say, but... i just can't bring myself to argue that, because it's in response to what was a senseless attack to begin with. and we shouldn't need to defend ourselves and our communities against what isn't true.

homophobia, bullying, and trolling are irrational, illogical pursuits and i can't stand the idea of treating them with any ounce of seriousness in this context. to apologize would be to accept their absurdity and validate their accusations—accusations we know in our heart of hearts to be incorrect and baseless. and i won't ever do that! i won't give them that satisfaction and i wish others wouldn't either.

they keep doing this, because they haven't met any opposition yet, because we keep acting like we have any reason at all to feel shame for wanting stories about people like us, about something as basic and universal as love and connection. they don't care about our reasons. they don't care about our defense of ourselves. it's not ever about us. this is their cry for attention, good or bad, at our expense and they need to be starved out already.

like.. this is just unsustainable. it's mind-boggling and i remember kicking and screaming about it months ago in what felt like an empty room. and look at where we are now! we're already at the point where you can't win in any kind of way no matter what you do. you can't age them up, you can't leave them as they are, you can't ship them if you're older than eighteen, you can't write AUs, you can't write canon compliance, you can't write canon divergence, you can't make them kiss, you can't make them anything more than friends but you also can't make them not-friends, etc etc. we've officially been shoved into the "fuck it, we ball" stage, because this is a pissy fandom and you are never going to please everyone so you may as well just do whatever the fuck you want.

i sound soooooooo unbearably preachy in this response lol, but like... literally... all we have is each other! we all love byler and we're all here to have fun and find like-minded people. we can't keep acting like this in-fighting lunacy is reasonable and just a difference of opinion, or like it's based in any kind of sense at all. we know that it's okay to ship byler at any age. we know that it's okay to have fun and enjoy ourselves. these people want to make us feel bad. they want to silence us. why let them and give them that satisfaction? why is what they want more important than us and our happiness? i hate the idea of anyone ever feeling any kind of shame or fear over something as innocent as this. i hate the idea of them winning by getting into any of our heads like that. i just hate it.

now, this last bit is specifically for you, anon, but it goes for everyone else, too: please, please, please, i am holding your hand in both of mine and begging you to not let anyone take away the things that you love and bring you joy or your wonderful creations that you've put so much of yourself into. i promise you that there will always be people who will see you, understand you, and cherish what you have to offer, and they are the ones that matter most (after you of course hehe). we all have to find our people and just go crazy together and block out everything else. that's the only way to get through this without getting burnt out. 💛💙