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Hi, Pia! I am thinking of going the same route as you - free chapters on AO3, then Patreon - for my historical m/m romance projects. Could you share a little about your journey, and how did you manage to gain visibility within the originals section of AO3 (I know it's not easy)?
Hi hi!
We've talked a little over at Subscriptions for Authors I think! *waves* :D
Okay firstly, i don't know if any of this is going to be very helpful, because to tl;dr it - I didn't set out to be a professional author when I started this, and I wasn't even trying to be a professional when I started my Patreon (though I did approach it seriously, like I wanted to treat my readers well). I didn't believe I could be one, my impostor syndrome was so epic I literally started an entirely new AO3 account and kept it secret from my main account because I believed all the people being nice to me about my writing were somehow just lying to me because they felt sorry for me.
That's...
That's a whole lot of impostor syndrome insanity. But I've always been pretty honest about having mental illness so....
Re: my journey...
I started out in fanfiction. I started writing Rise of the Guardians fanfiction (a two part serial called From the Darkness We Rise & Into Shadows We Fall) and it went viral (I did not expect this) and I put in several original characters to flesh out the world, because I added a Seelie/Unseelie Court element that wasn't in the original movie or the books.
Two of those original characters had roles as semi-significant ensemble characters. One was a terrible villain who is defeated by the other, who is the Seelie King (also defeated by the main characters of the fic but *coughs* anyway).
I started getting people asking me what was going to happen to those two characters, especially once people found out they had a relationship history together prior to the events in the fanfic. I mostly put those people off - I fully intended to keep just writing fanfiction - until finally I decided to write some fic of those two characters. It was like...revenge hatefucking, lmao. I wrote three chapters of that, and then more, and then finally realised I couldn't give them the tragic ending I'd planned to, and that I'd have to actually figure out how the hell to save them from their own machinated doom.
And that became the first book in my original Fae Tales series - Game Theory.
It was my amazing readers who asked me to make this Tumblr, my amazing readers who asked me to write that original story, and they were the ones who asked me to make a Patreon (and then a Ko-Fi), and so in a way, they were the ones who let me know when I was ready to try making this work in a (slightly) more official capacity. They were the ones who believed in me enough to keep me doing this, and they still are. *waves to you all*
They were the ones who gave me visibility, I don't know that I did anything specific to make that happen, except writing the stories, turning up, and listening to them.
It's a very weird way of doing it and I don't know that anyone else has ever done it quite that way like this. I feel like a massive outlier in that sense. I don't relate to anyone who is starting out in professional subscription with no readers because I could never do that, my lack of confidence wouldn't let me. But there's aspects I think any author can replicate: I reply to all my commenters (except the trolls), because they're great and I want to support connection, community, and conversation. I embrace fandom and love all transformative works, and also, like 99% of my writing is free on AO3. (You don't have to make everything free, but it certainly doesn't hurt on AO3).
I mostly finish my serials and folks can trust my happy/hopeful endings and they can trust my hurt/comfort. And I'm pretty communicative! As you can tell by how much I'm rambling right now x.x I intentionally provide a safe space for queer people and neurodivergent people as much as possible, and write a lot of representation for us. I set out to make a space I would personally feel comfortable in. That might not work for everyone, but it works for those who stay.
From there though, I'd say a lot of visibility came from word of mouth, writing chapter by chapter over time (serials naturally pick up readers simply because they're often at or near the top of a tag or fandom category on AO3 - there is NO algorithm there), sometimes sorting by kudos, and me just posting about random stuff on Tumblr with good tags.
I still write fanfiction on another account (my impostor syndrome account) that has also had some people trying my original fiction. There's quite a few people who came directly from fanfiction to the original fiction because the themes were the same!
I didn't have the confidence to intentionally try and be a professional writer. When I started writing that fanfic I was writing it because I was depressed, sad, and I'd quit an unsatisfying job as a professional artist (I loved the art and my clients, I could never make the income part work). I didn't want to be a professional writer. I was writing as hooky, as escape from my real life, and as 'oh god I just need some hurt/comfort and I can't find what I want so I'll write it.'
To this day, I still write fanfiction as an escape, it's partly why it's now on a separate account to my original stuff (but even plenty of my original fic is indulgent and self-escapist in nature, which is maybe why other people find it escapist and cathartic as well).
In writing, financially, it makes more sense to publish books, or do serials-into-books, and develop a backlist of novels alongside the serials. I don't do that. I should, I plan on starting soon. I can point out a lot of the things that I either did wrong, or that I can see a way of doing better, because I didn't set out to be a professional writer, and I still put 'keeping it fun' and 'the readers' ahead of 'making money.' I'm not very mercenary and I make financially not great decisions in favour of 'but I enjoy it more this way.'
(That's partly because I am really very ill, and I can't afford to make myself sick through my work, and not enjoying it is the fastest way to do that).
What I do know is how to help create a community, though. And how to encourage and try and care for that community of people. How to respond to what they want and sometimes don't want, alongside what I want and don't want. How to have boundaries in that space. Well, I'm still figuring it out but I think I'm more comfortable with it than I used to be!
I also don't want to make it sound like I didn't know about writing before this. Long before doing serials for 10 years, I did creative writing and scriptwriting (among other things) at university. I wrote very technically correct short stories with sad little tragic endings that won awards and sometimes decent cash prizes. I hated it, and it put me off writing for years afterwards. I felt trapped in trying to write the 'correct' way. I am entirely unsurprised that to this day I reject standard formulas for novel lengths, and that in order to write, I kind of have to break a lot of the rules I was taught.
But I was taught how to write 'correctly' by Australian standards back in the early 00s (very spare, evocative prose). These days I follow a lot of scriptwriting / television drama beats in serials and have always really enjoyed doing it that way. :D
I'm meant to be talking about some of this in the Subscriptions for Authors podcast tomorrow and it's going to be a mess, as you can tell, lmao.
(There's something to be said about the lightning-in-a-bottle moment where I just wrote a fanfic I thought everyone would hate in a popular fandom and people were just ready for that story and it took off. I had no idea how to deal with it and it was very overwhelming and I had a bit of a breakdown a year and a half later over it. It's no coincidence that a year into the Patreon I paused it for 1.5 years and walked away because I couldn't handle it. But then I did some growing up and came back and figured it out.
But yeah I didn't do any of this the right way, or in a super intentional way. The only part I know I did well was supporting a community, and communicating with the people who turned up. And I did that for very selfish reasons - I wanted to be in a community, and I enjoyed meeting people who had things in common with me. I sometimes feel a little like a gremlin who just stumbled into a community and was like 'oh, um, I'm here, I guess.'
It's really everyone else who made it magical, but it did help that I think I am (in retrospect) pretty good at writing a hooky, addictive serial for the right kinds of readers. I cannot understate this enough -> learning how to write serials and exploring episodic television drama can be very helpful).
#asks and answers#pia on writing#pia on patreon#actually i asked my readers yesterday what helps them stick around#communication - consistency - trust - quality of writing - representation#came up the most#visibility is tough: going viral is luck#doing it more than once can be the quality of your writing#ultimately commenters want to feel valued by writers#and writers want to feel valued by commenters#and that relationship is imho pretty crucial on AO3#the more an author doesn't reply to commenters (not that they have to)#the less likely that commenter is to reply on future chapters#the more you do reply#the more likely you are to get replies#that's just how conversation works#no one likes to talk into an abyss#i don't pay for ads#i don't really publish books#(i have two that i don't really market)#but i never shut up#and my readers are the best#also just time - time is a big part of it#do this mostly consistently for 10 years#and like... dslkfjas there you are#also i want to say my original stuff was NEVER as popular as my fanfiction#but it didn't need to be fsadlkfjsa#patreon doesn't need thousands of people#every reader who contributes is incredible#but none of this stuff is necessarily workable as a *strategy*
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In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.
He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!
You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).
Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!
But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!
#this is a really long winded way to say i really really really really hate new horizon's storyline and player role#i really hate that not only your house but the entire TOWN. the whole COMMUNITY you're a part of is owed to tom nook's business#i really hate the “vacation getaway package” angle because it shows just how commercialized the entire premise of nh is#and how lost the game is in its original core concept#animal crossing is about the experience of moving to a new town and becoming a part of that community#just to compare: all past ac games have a similar opening#you're on a bus or train or taxi to someplace new. a stranger strikes up a conversation and you get to know them before arriving#new horizons opens with you at customer service desk filling out an client application before a flight.#in prev games working for nook in the tutorial is meant to be demeaning. you want it to be over with so you can actually start living life#but in new horizons working for tom nook IS your life. and it's so rewarding! don't you feel rewarded?#you aren't a person. you aren't a new neighbor. you're tom nook's client. and then his unpaid employee. and the game insists it's fun to be#that's how void the game is#because it's bad enough that a rpg life sim got turned into a sandbox game where you have to build the town yourself#but the only reason why you're building it is because the landlord who you're in debt to TOLD you to build it.#everything is a rewards program! everything is a tour service! be sure to do your daily tasks to earn nook bucks to spend on nook merch!#that really sucks imo.#i mean. the entire game is based around the vacationing industry. of course it all feels fake and temporary. it's only a vacation.#long post#rant#not art#god the fact that your starter villagers can't even decide where to live you have to decide for them#i've never played a game that does the opposite of handholding#where instead it's the PLAYER who has to handhold the npcs through everything. and newsflash!! it's really exhausting and boring
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
#this is objectively bad advice#don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this#but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries#.... it IS fun#i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him.#bc i used to get SO fucking upset#i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it#and now i just LITERALLY do not engage#instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation#i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection#they like the rush they get from arguing#but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me#so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru#NORMAL CONVERSATION#he doesn't get it yet#i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?''#'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''
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Then why are you here? What is it you want? I want to free you.
#critical role#cr lb#ygifs#cr3#imogen#liliana temult#maybe a bitch cried and that bitch was me#anyway the psychology of imogen using her responses as questions to get liliana to talk it out more it's so good#the 90 episode payoff is SO GOOD FOR ME#the TWO 31 rolls like the dice said it's laura bailey guys#also like it has to be ludinus planted that liliana's go-to is the ''children'' like something's not right there matt#it's so reset to factory settings and strange that she's hollowly committed to a concept that isn't even actually real#but it Was real for liliana when she first set out to protect her daughter#like how really All There can you be when your work husband is ludinus daleth#imogen getting her conversation I'm just framing it
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complexity
#ffxiv#shadowbringers#ryne waters#oc: icarus lastname#warrior of light#wol#viera#myart#ff14#before people jump down my throat about minfilia hate#icarus just does not care about most people#this isnt a reflection of the quality of her character#anyways#i think a lot about how much of a complex ryne develops being close to someone who cared so much about the og minfilia#but then when she tries to share those feelings w icarus who doesnt even remember who minfilia even is#it's like#different than what happens in canon obviously ehjghjejhgeg#didnt rlly illustrate the conversation in full because he just answers “whos that” and moves on tbh.#also this is very bad and sketchy but i just cannot !!!!!!!!! work on this any longer
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This has most definitely been said before, but we were robbed of the core four quarantining on-screen together at Buck’s place. ROBBED I say
#we could’ve had it all#henchim#bestieism and being exasperated by all the#buddie#shenanigans#canonically knowing the sleeping arrangements even tho I fully believe buddie shared Buck’s bed while henchim claimed the couch space and#someone (probs hen) thought ahead and brought an air mattress#hen and buck cooking for everyone bc chim and Eddie (at the time) couldn’t cook well#grocery shopping#but as arguments about everybody’s weird preferences#NO PRIVACY#so everybody is calling dibs on Buck’s balcony to have private conversations w their families#buddie calling Chris together and henchim side eying them but ultimately not saying anything bc it was a stressful time for all of them#carpooling to work together and fighting over the aux omgggg and fighting over the tv remote like real siblings#Bobby asking how the roomies are doing living together and everyone just eying each other with fondness or exasperation depending on the day#I know we got crumbs from buck and chim living together but it wasn’t enough I want MORE#the siblings dynamic would’ve been immaculate with the added weird romantic tension from buddie like ???#I can’t find many fics about this scenario but pls Rec any (especially if they’re tagged oddly plssss)#hen Wilson#chimney han#Eddie diaz#evan buckley#Bobby nash#Christopher diaz#quarantine#covid 19#911#9-1-1#911 abc#9-1-1 abc
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They'd do this. I swear. Just making a rock stack on the sleeping form of Orange.
These are if my OCs were to know the main cast. Dove meeting them by these methods and Hex by being associated with Dove.
#animation vs minecraft#animator vs animation#ava#alan becker#animation vs animator#avm#art#PS: “clothes” by Dove were clothes in for repairs#they have multiple sets thats how having clothes work#Just imagine the conversation between Dove & Purple#"Kid what are you doing up here“ ”What are YOU doing up here?“
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Pray for Amphitrite who is probably sat like this right now and is having to console her husband for the umpteenth time about Sally Jackson because her stepson asked him if he dreams about his mom, and instead of reacting normally her husband basically yeeted her stepson to Long Island because he can't deal with his emotions
#pjo series#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians spoilers#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#pjo tv spoilers#amphitrite#posedion pjo#posedion#percy jackson#“yes i know you love her no you can't just end a conversation with your son because it got emotional that's not how parenting works '#“POSEDION HE'S 12' is something she probably has to remind of multiple times#according to percy she's a cool stepmom and i love that because of most of the stepmoms we see in the pjo universe aren't great#toby stephens
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do you think it was weird for mike to go to california and experience his first byers family dinner in months just for it to be far too similar to wheeler family dinners
#stranger things#the duffer brothers#80s#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#miwi#joyce byers#the byers family#like think about their little christmas dinner in s1#THATS what byers family dinners are like#they have genuine conversation and enjoy each others company#and then in s4 its just... literally small talk and lying#mike must have unfortunately felt right at home#at least for just a second#and in the worst way#'oh so this is no longer a safe space???'#mike 'petty revenge' wheeler cracks his knuckles#I KNOW WHAT TO DO#*makes a comment that makes it a million times worse*#then all innocent what i thought this was a FAMILY DINNER#I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS#I HAVE THEM EVERY NIGHT#WE ARE ALL SUPPOSED TO STORM AWAY TO OUR RESPECTIVE ROOMS THATS HOW YOU KNOW DINNER IS OVER
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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You weren't going to talk your way out of this one, Croissant.
| First | | Previous | | Next |
[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#I had a whole scenario in my head of a possible conversation with the brain#but ultimately it didn't work with how the game went#and that's ok!#Croissant was really hoping that the brain was just Like This because of the crown but there was no time for talking#It had to go#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#croissant adventures#tav#netherbrain#prince orpheus#lae'zel#comics#Wait hang on the last part of this fight was so frustrating actually ngjkflndsjlhk#I cut a comic about it but like ??? I'm a resource hoarder and saved all my good stuff for the end#And then divine intervention had a 1% chance of hitting or whatever#Also because of my wonky camera I just completely missed that the floor collapsed it was a mess
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i downloaded that app that lets you customize your own soundscapes because i was like well this probably still won't be for me but i'll try it out just to see. first i set up a cafe with loud babble so i could eavesdrop on the table next to me, but there was only about 2 minutes of recorded audio. so once i memorized the conversation, i moved on to an irish coastal seascape, where i discovered that you can set the sliders to "drowning in the open ocean." that legitimately relaxed me so much that my headache went away but after about 20 minutes my brain adapted enough for the Voices (TM) to return, so i turned to a thunderstorm where all the thunder sliders were turned up to 100% power. so you feel like you're in the middle of bullshit tornado country. after all this i discovered there's a haunted mansion soundscape already so. i guess i'll get some mileage out of this thing yeah.
#app is myNoise. not a sponsored post i just figure someone will ask.#i don't know how to make any of the other soundscapes on there have enough peril to put me to sleep but we'll see.#context for ppl who havent been following me forever: guided meditations reassurances and peaceful soundscapes Freak Me The Fuck Out#conversely horror/danger makes my brain go 'oh that's what i'm sensing. this fake sound. we're in no real danger. goodnight 💕'#is this backwards for most people. yes. does it work for me. unequivocallyyy
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Ok, I think I have a pretty good idea of why a lot of Akechi's dialogue is... like that.
So, even before his confidant truly started, I noticed that he has a real knack for directing the flow of a conversation. This is very fitting for someone who is both a detective and skilled at interviews - when there is a topic and a goal, Akechi is in his element.
All this to say, he's actually kind of controlling when it comes to conversational flow. He probes for information, or turns the conversation around to a particular topic, usually the Phantom Thieves. He manages to take a few of Joker's dialogue options and spin them so they sound mildly incriminating in the context he's placed them in - the only way to truly get around this is to pick answers that feign indifference, and even then, that's more than a bit telling. He's clearly very good at this kind of thing.
But then, we get conversations where either Joker does something he didn't expect, or else he doesn't have a particular goal in mind - and the conversation stutters. In the first instance, Joker does something (a particularly egregious example is putting his glasses on him and fluffing his hair in rank 3) which both leaves him wrong-footed and no longer in perfect control of the situation. He just kind of... freezes, for awhile. It's hilarious. He has no idea how to respond.
He picks up control again in the phone call afterwards, having chosen to play into it, turning this "fooling the crowds" into a kind of game or secret between them. Nice save.
But in instances where there isn't an obvious topic and the goal is somewhat nebulous, for instance, that one Leblanc scene, it becomes pretty apparent that Akechi doesn't have the right "script" to go off of. Again, it's particularly notable in that scene, because I'm fairly sure he didn't have any specific reason to be at Leblanc, other than him looking for a quiet spot now that public opinion has turned on him. And because there isn't anything specific he's digging for, he kind of just ends up throwing things at the wall to see what will stick. Probing for any kind of recognizable reaction that he can jump on and work with, and that just doesn't really happen in this scene.
He references Sae, a woman in a respectable position, to Sojiro, but instead of that netting a welcome, it earns his ire, given Sae's recent actions against him. He then tries to greet Joker, his... rival? friend? enemy? person who at least seems to somewhat enjoy spending time with him? But Joker's responses are somewhat short, and Akechi practically wilts. He tries to commiserate by oversharing. He tries to involve Futaba and reaches out for the only topic of interest he can think of around "young people". He compliments the coffee. He compliments Joker. He tries to invoke that connection between them. None of it is really sticking, nor does it serve as a jumping off point for him to steer the conversation, or even really start one.
So, he basically just ends up having a one-sided chat with himself and then leaves. Hilarious. Also a little sad, if I'm being honest. It's really giving "guy with no friends who only knows how to speak to adults" energy. If there's no specific purpose to the exchange, or he is not in control of its direction, he seems to be kind of out of his depth. He succeeds only in being a little awkward and confusing, more than anything.
#quick note! i still have not finished the game! please avoid spoilers also i am aware i could be very wrong here. pls be kind if i am yeah?#of course#I am going from an in-universe standpoint for fun.#I am positive it's because writers needed to shoehorn in information and it ended up making the flow of conversation awkward as a result#but i digress#i still think there's merit to this reading though because even outside of flow his word choices and some of the kind of#intense things that he'll say#really do come across as 'guy who doesn't know how to talk to people and is basically just pushing for a reaction he can work with'#anyways. just my random thoughts again#i still don't get this dude but#pretty sure he's a control freak. pretty sure he's also lonely. bad combination.#storyrambles#story plays persona 5#p5r#i think this counts as analysis. it got a bit longer than i was expecting ->#call me ace detective the way i am ace. and also a detective#analysis tag becomes kind of funny when it's about this character in particular haha#goro akechi
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the company i work for decided that its switching from the german formal "You"(Sie) to the informal "you" (Du) in all of our websites so now we have to scour the entire database to change it and i quite frankly hate that, not just bc the unecessary extra work but especially bc its such a weird and unecessary change
i bet its bc everything here is getting englishfied (both literally and culturally it feels like, when my new boss talks its half in english bc every second german word is just replaced by an english one despite there being perfectly fine words for it in german too, its so annoying) and bc they want to sound more personal in hopes of getting more clients bc 'company is your fwiend uwu!!', i know this here is the amercian tm site so you wouldnt understand really but i do not want to be greeted with 'du' by companies, no, thats too personal, you dont know me and im not giving you my data, stay away!!
i guess thats how i would describe it .. the formal you is like a polite distance, like someone you dont know staying outside your personal space, but when its the informal 'you' it feels invasive unless i told you you can call me that, and that goes double for companies
maybe its a small thing that doesnt seem important but i cant stand it, im just a little part time worker doing data work so i got no say in it but the companies founder also announced hes giving his post to his kids some time ago so ...... since then theres been alot of changes and new projects that solely aim to imitate whats popular and whats done by other companies, despite ours being one that is, or used to be, intentionally different, like, that was the POINT, but i guess chasing trends is just too appealing for CEOs
#ganondoodles talks#personal#rare personal rant#theres more and more changes that feel so weirdly forced#like man#i thought being different was the whole point#like climate and ethics are .. or were .. the core idea and now i guess its just fine to do whatever conventional companies are doing#yeah woohoo lets also do an app thing that forces people to sign up if they want reasonable prices!#smartphones the standard everwhere!#who needs anything physical if you can put it in an a phone so syphon off data directly out of people fingertips!! yea!!!#lets use AI pitcures bc we refuse to hire more graphic desingers and they are jsut so overworked uwu#climate? ethic? whats that#argh#sorry this needed to get out#recently had a stupid conversation with a coworker bc i asked them why we are okay with AI shit now when it goes against what this-#company was presumably founded on#and he was rly defensive and said welll we dont have time and its cheap and also maybe we should got WITH the time#like that last thing especially pissed me tf off#but i cant afford to lose this job#im starting to hate it more though so the dream of being able to stay like this might not be real#i cant get a job in this place that is as nice to my mental health so idk man#i wish i was good enough at merch and online stuff so i could live of that#but even trying to find out how taxes work on that stuff is a nightmare to me
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merrill dragon age really reverse engineered an eluvian from first principles in a cave with a box of scraps and one single blighted shard. and STILL she gets no respect for it from anyone but potentially hawke, at least in a confused yet well-meaning 'are ya winning son' sort of way on the friendship path. dark days for women in STEM
(really though it seems the equivalent of a person in the middle ages putting together a nokia phone from rocks and sticks (and one coaching session from a spirit, fair enough) and then just not being able to figure out how to turn it on even though it is fully functioning. magically at least merrill is inarguably a genius. the tony stark of kirkwall. well not really that comparison falls apart pretty quickly but you see what I'm saying here lmao)
#dragon age#dragon age 2#merrill#of all people aveline actually seems to pick up on just how brilliant she is#but she only ever tells merrill so out loud so that she gets to tell her she's also an idiot with the next breath fhsadkfhsa#ah would it really be DA2 if that wasn't how that conversation went tho#anders has his head way too far up his own ass (affectionate) about anything she does to really consider what she's achieved#but one day I'd love to see some mages studying merrill's work like 'how?? how in the fUCK did she do this it shold be impossible'#hawke standing over on the side like a proud yet bumbling older brother like 'uh. it involved some sort of really special knife.#I punched a varterral about it. do not ask me any more questions'
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Also I don't know who needs to hear this but
American =/= Bad
If you believe any country = bad, you are part of the biggotry problem. Every country has good and bad stuff going on, it's called existing in the real world.
#if your opinion is that people from any specific country are not worth listening to because of their nationality#then you are a racist#and i will call you a racist to your face#if your only solution to hard conversations is ideological purity for someone to be valid#get real#touch grass#and learn how the world works#you're just looking for an excuse to not do anything
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