#that would become the centre of the New World Order

[jenovacomplete]

idk man, who can say why the main antagonists of the thousand year blood war arc are commonly interpreted as allegorical nazis. it's a mystery

[forteafy]

Baby Steps | MV1

Summary: You've always been Mercedes golden girl; your life and career have been set out in stone. All it takes is for your ultimate rival to change that all.

Word Count: 8.1k

Warnings: Mild Smut, Childbirth, Angst, Mentions of Jos Verstappen.

26th November; the night of the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix should have been the happiest of your life. 

Not many people in the world can hold their head up high and say they have won a Formula 1 world championship, let alone three. Ever since your toothy grin and shy comments when first stepping into the paddock, you had been making waves in the motorsport world. Years later, under the attentive eye of Toto Wolff and Mercedes, you had become effortlessly cool and undeniably talented; the core makings of a three-time world champion. 

The night of your first win was…you can’t even say a distant memory; the last thing you could vividly remember was linking arms with the golden boy of Mercedes, laughing merrily as you were guided down to the foyer of the extravagant hotel, the entire team with their warm comments and loving attitude ready for their new-found champion. The next day consisted of crouching over the porcelain throne, your insides rejecting any form of substance, the smell of tequila on your skin making you belch more. It was a cruel cycle, but one that every world champion had learnt. 

It also hadn’t ceased you from repeating the identical routine the next year; the feeling was so nice, you had to do it twice. Ironically, you had also worn the identical bra and panty set of the first year; not that anybody had seen it. Boys were off limits during the height of your career. This was your choice, of course. PR would have given their overpriced marketing tools to see you on the arm of a successful man, thinking of the faux love story they could spin. 

No, in order to be successful, respected; you’d sworn off any romantic relationship. You were not a figure to be held next to a man for beauty. Moreover, you were almost certain that if Toto saw a man within three feet of you, he’d frighten them off, in true fear that anybody would come near his youngest prodigy. 

The third year had been set; the routine was laid out in front of you, ready to make mistakes you’d groan and then forget about by the fourth. Instead, you found yourself crouched in the cramped cubicle of the nightclub, a hand over your mouth and nose, attempting to muffle the gulps from your lips. Your eyes had glossed over, intensely focused on the piece of plastic fisted in your palm. Two blue lines, interlapped to create a cross. A plus sign. A positive sign.

You were pregnant. 

19th October; a month prior to what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

You’d been the personification of a peacock; feathers flexing as you walked through the paddock, your tenth pole position of the year resting comfortably on your shoulders. Heavy pats on your back, a cheeky wink towards the camera of Sky Sports and cheers from the crowds had guided your return to your motorhome, thanking your PR assistant as you slid into the only four walls on the track where there was a form of privacy. 

Except there wasn’t. A figure was relaxed into your sofa with a photograph in his hands, eyes trained on your body when you’d entered the room, unknowing of their presence. A grin appeared on his smug face upon seeing you practically skyrocket out of your skin, noting the other person in your sanctuary. He eventually stands up, removing his branded Red Bull cap to place on your sofa. 

“You shouldn’t be here, Max.” You scoff, snatching the polaroid out of his fingers, returning the photo to its rightful place; atop of the plush chilli Carlos Sainz had bought you for your birthday. (He’d also bought you a bullet vibrator, trying to remind you of your stubbornness, urging you to relax a little.) 

“Nice photograph.” He comments, his blue eyes flickering over to where it now stood, propped up in pride. You sat centre of the track in Abu Dhabi; two younger figures sat between your legs. They both rested a chubby hand on your World Driving Championship trophy, huge grins at the shining object. “Friends of yours?” 

“Sisters.” You mumble in return, removing the snapback from your head, balancing it on top of your shelf. The cool air finds the roots of your hair instantly, a wave of relief rolling through your entire body when your hand comes up to soothe your scalp. “Congratulations on…was it P16?” You gloat, hoping your rival would catch the message that you didn’t want him to be there. 

Max feels his lips drop and eyebrows meet at the cold reminder of his own qualification result. He knew the season was drawing to a close, quickly at that, and the constant reminder that he would be losing another championship to Mercedes golden girl was the last thing he needed. The smug grin on your lips remains, turning around to slide your arms out of your race suit, letting the top half rest on your hips, sleeves hanging loosely at your legs. 

“That’s why I came to see you.” He responds, standing up straighter, arms folded as his eyes train on your own movement. “It makes my losses look miniscule compared to your own.” His own grin has returned now, satisfied with his own response to the situation. 

You had been playing this game for months. The first year of your relationship on the grid had been friendly, the second had been hostile. The third had been downright dangerous. It began to get to a point where the grid, the press, everyone had picked up on the relationship between yourself and the Red Bull driver. 

“Hey, I’ll do anything to help you forget this will be my third World Championship.” You snap back, turning around to meet his figure, your own arms mimicking, folding against your chest. This time, you take a step closer. “Maybe next year Christian Horner will remember his ‘Precious Little Maxie.’ 

Max scoffs at the nickname you had given him, eyes noting the step you had taken. He responds, taking his own step. “Trust me. There’s nothing little about me.” His eyes meet yours when he finishes his sentence, and for the first time, Max Verstappen has left you completely and utterly speechless. Mind goes into overdrive, years of hatred are forgotten has his hands fly out, grasping each side of your face, meshing his lips to your own. 

Your first thought is to push the swine away, slap him across the face and scream for Toto Wolff to grab him by the collar. Clouded, spaced out; your mind begins to crack, your only thought is how good his lips feel against your own, how soft they feel against your cheek, how sinful they trace against your neck. 

Max’s palms had originally rested on your cheek, they had begun their trail, slithering down your sides, grip tightening as they reached your hips, forcefully pulling you towards his body, grinding his crotch against your own, the desperation of his member clearly noticeable. 

A gasp emitted from your lips, feeling his teeth begin to nip across the soft skin of your neck, desperately searching for that one spot that would make you crumble. Max’s hands make quick work, one wrapping around your waist in order to keep you secure, the other grasping you fireproofs, race suit and panties in a fluid motion, exposing the sweet centre he had been craving. Nimble fingers trail around your entrance, swiping a finger against your most sensitive bundle of nerves, rewarding him with the most sinful sound he had ever received. 

“Max-“ You gasped, mind clouded by lust, how your desire of this man had built from your core the moment you had seen him in person, years ago. “Max, please-“

“Shut the fuck up.” He mumbled, his own hand pulling down his trousers and underwear, rubbing his shaft for preparation. “Do not ruin this fucking moment.” 

In a swift motion, Max has you pinned against the wall of your driver room, the cool wall sending a shiver against your skin. You barely have time to register the coolness dancing across you before your mind is overwhelmed by the feeling of his length slipping into your wet folds, and there is truly nothing little about him in that moment, mind sent into overdrive when he brings his lips back to yours. 

19th December, twenty-three days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

You had finally thrown yourself entirely into a distraction; Christmas. You’d flew back to Brackley alongside your teammate, both of you returning to the Mercedes base before retiring for the holidays. There had been no string short of invites flooding into your inbox, asking if you wanted to join them in any festivities. Anything at this point was a wanted distraction from the impending coil growing in your stomach, both figuratively and literally. 

And so, you attended a Christmas Market alongside George and Carmen, passing on the mulled wine the two had insisted on trying. You’d gone to see Jack’s Christmas performance alongside Toto and Suzie but declined going to the fish restaurant they had mentioned; (you’d read somewhere in your first week of sheer panic that you could no longer go near fish whilst pregnant.) You’d gone to Lando’s new apartment in London but had seen the scowl on his face when you’d complained about your ‘bad stomach,’ and couldn’t do any heavy lifting of decorations. 

It wasn’t until Christmas Eve; Lewis had come to your family’s home, presents for your younger siblings, parents and yourself, of course. He’d sat politely, sipped on your mother’s tea, laughed politely at the antics building up towards the big day itself. 

Spending time with somebody for three quarters of the year will teach you a lot about them; Lewis knew you like he knew each twist and turn of every track he’d raced along during the years. He knew you laughed with your whole stomach to the point where you had to grab something for support; that before every single race you would have your ‘top secret handshake’ with your race engineer, (you insisted your race would always go more smoothly if you did so, the last time you didn’t had resulted in a DNF.) 

What Lewis knew most, was you were a complete and utter sucker for anything with chocolate. He had seen you practically sob when your trainer had found protein brownies that would work in your diet. So why did you decline your mothers’ sweet desserts when offered around the lounge? Why did you seem to hold your breath when the scent of treats was wafted under your nose, almost as if you’d vomit if you came into contact with them? 

Carefully, your teammate placed his mug down on the low table, wiggling out of the space between your younger sisters; both were entranced by him. In any other situation, he would have sat there for hours, listening to their oh-so-sweet stories. Instead, he whistled for Roscoe, watching as the dog stooped up from his position by the fire, tottering over towards his owner.

“I’m going to take Roscoe out for a wee.” He nods towards your figure, slouched on the opposite sofa. “You coming?” The way he phrases his question; you can tell it’s not a question, it’s a command. You nod, placing down your own mug, stretching as you pulled yourself away from the leather recliner. 

Your sisters were now engrossed by one of the presents Lewis has insisted they had to open early. Your mother and father were running through their guest list for tomorrow; nobody seemed to notice as the two of you slipped on your outerwear, whistling for Roscoe as you stepped through the dining room and onto the porch of the family home you had gifted your parents almost 1 year ago now. 

Lewis’ eyes meet yours the moment you had closed the ornate doors. You struggle to meet his gaze; you know he has begun to put the pieces of this metaphorical puzzle together. He barely waits for the sound of the door closing before he starts to speak, the mannerisms he reserves for his teammate in instant appeal. 

“Alright. What’s happening then?” He asks almost instantly, motioning for you to walk alongside him, taking the scenic route of the large garden. “You’d never turn down sweet things. You do everything to make your mother smile, why would you turn down her cooking?”

“I’ve just gone off that kind of stuff.” You mumble, not really thinking about what you were saying. You’d later remember to be more careful with your responses. You were not expecting him to piece it together so quickly through his own train of thought. 

“Oh, my sister was like that when she was pregnant with-“ He cuts himself off, ceasing his steps when he realises what has escaped his lips. His head snaps back to look at you, and his heart melts. You, his self-assured, sweet teammate, now with tears in your eyes, a visible shake running across your body. He’s not stupid, he’s far from it. 

“You’re pregnant.” He almost whispers, seeing how the words are visibly affecting you. Lewis says nothing, instead pulling you straight into his chest, arms engulfing you as he feels your body loosen, silently shaking with held back tears of being reminded of your current situation. “But…how?” He murmurs, loud enough for you to hear. He knew of your dating rule. Even outside of the press, no man ever seemed to be enough to knock you down, let alone knock you up. 

You can’t tell him, not now. You couldn’t tell him. You had to tell him. 

“Max.” You whisper, barely able to have the name on your lips. Lewis’ brows furrow. He knows in his heart he is right, but he doesn’t want to be. 

“Fewtrell?” He responds, referencing to Lando’s oldest friend. You had been to see them recently, after all.

“Verstappen.”

Lewis’ isn’t sure what to say in that moment. Instead, he simply keeps you in his arms, in this moment at least, he can keep you warm, safe. Away from questioning eyes and the stories which will surely follow you until the end of time, until the end of your career. Instead, he asks the one question which you had been blocking out for oh-so-long, that you had been putting off since you threw yourself into these festivities. 

“What are you going to do?” 

6th January, 41 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

You knew what you were going to do.

You knew from the moment you had been called into your first ultrasound scan; by this point, only a few select people knew of the situation. Lewis. Your parents. The delivery driver at Dominoes Pizza whom had given you a strange look when handing over a pizza with no cheese, but three lots of spicy peppers. 

Going to your first ultrasound alone had been terrifying; bringing somebody along would have drawn too much attention. You had played a mighty risk by going alone, hoping you wouldn’t be recognised. You didn’t want Mercedes to catch wind of the happenings, instead hoping nobody would openly tweet about your live location.

Your nurse doesn’t recognise you; if she does, she doesn’t show it. She’s polite and kind, makes sure that you haven’t used the bathroom in four hours, something to do with amniotic fluid. The cold jelly on your stomach sends an odd feeling through your body, as if cold cream was balancing on your tummy. There’s a sharp prod, a poke, and then you see the nurse smile.

“Ah, there they are!” She glows. 

And there they are. Sat there, in your stomach. A small curve, to anybody else, a completely unidentifiable shape. But to you? The most precious shape that was completely and utterly undeniably yours. How you could have thought that you could go through life without knowing them is beyond you. 

That was the moment you knew what you were going to do.

All you had to do now, was tell Toto. No big deal. 

23rd February, 89 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

“Horner!”

Toto was known to be larger than life, and his voice only proved that theory as he stormed out of his Paddock Office, completely abandoning any information being presented about Pre-Testing in Bahrain. Instead, he’s seeing red, he’s seeing that Horner’s complete and utter dickhead of a driver has knocked up his winner. His current champion. (With no disrespect to Lewis, of course.)

Your teammate had been there, holding your hand when you had broken the news to Toto, your race engineer and your trainer. Your PR assistant was aware of the situation, currently attempting to make a game plan of how to handle the situation. She was adamant you needed to remain in the paddock; you ­still needed to be a part of the sporting world, even if you weren’t driving. 

At first, Toto thought it was Lewis’ baby, ready to bang both of their heads together and reprimand them for not being careful. When it had slipped whose child it was, (Toto was well aware of your rule too, he was just as confused as Lewis had been when he’d first found out.) Toto didn’t care about anything. More importantly, he didn’t care that your pregnancy wasn’t public knowledge. 

Toto had stormed into Red Bull’s garage, much to the widened eyes of Christian Horner. Despite being shorter, he instantly holds himself against the Austrian, arms folded, a smirk on his face at the entrance of the unwanted guests. 

“How can I help you, Toto?” He smirks, ready for some remark. Instead, Toto leans to Christian’s ear, murmuring something unhearing to the rest of the garage. You can take a guess to what is said however, judging by how pale the Red Bull’s Team Principle had gone. In one swift move, he motions for Toto and yourself to follow him, calling out to his own team. 

“Send Max to my office. Now.” His voice is unrevealing, but his skin is growing paler by the minute. 

You had never been into a Red Bull garage, and yet now you sat in Horner’s own office, amazed by the fact their colour schemes and trophies could be carried around the world. Mercedes kept theirs at home, sometimes plain and simple was the way to go. You began to wonder if you should bring your trophies to your next races, maybe it would give the team a reminder of what can be achieved. 

“Sit.” Horner motions to the couch in the office. You take a seat almost instantly, overwhelmed by the entire situation. Lewis places himself next to you, an arm around your back protectively. Toto refuses to take a command, instead remaining standing, arms folded, a glare of hatred towards Christian. 

“I don’t know why you’re so mad at me.” The Red Bull team principal scoffs. “I didn’t tell Max to sleep with your little prodigy.” He may not be showing it, but Christian himself was downright livid with his driver. Max needed to focus; the team needed to focus on gaining back a world championship. Max was scarily focused, but when it came to the women in his life; his mother, his sister, his new little girlfriend Christian had seen in the paddock earlier that day, he would change, they became his focus. 

“You need to keep that boy away from my team!” Toto retaliates. He could have gone deeper, he was all but ready to drag Max into the middle of the track and hold him there, letting Lewis drive into him at full force. Before any more threats could be thrown across the office, a door opens, the present grin on Max Verstappen’s face wiped instantly upon seeing Toto, Lewis and yourself. 

“Max.” Christian starts, arms folded, the voice he used to reprimand his children now present. He can’t continue his phrasing however, before Toto scoffs, pointing an accusing finger towards the driver. 

“You!” He roars, instantly forgetting the plead you had given him half an hour before, longing to keep this news as quiet as you could for as long as possible. “You couldn’t keep away; you have ruined my team! How dare you knock her up!” Toto is only stopped when you jump up from your seat, grabbing both of his arms in an attempt to stop his frantic ranting. 

It takes Max a moment to process what has been said, he’s always struggled with quick responding when it’s not on a racetrack. It hits him all at once. Your pregnant. You’d slept together a month ago. Without protection, purely in the heat of the moment. Max Verstappen was going to be a father alongside his arch-rival. 

“You’re pregnant?” Max can’t help his questioning, catching your eyes for the first time since entering the room. You can only offer him a nod, unable to form words in that current moment. “And…it’s mine? Are you sure?”

Your blood ran cold, you finally understood the rage that your Team Principle. You turn around, eyes darkened, shaking your head in pure anger. “Who else have I slept with, Max? You want to tell me that?” The audacity of this man. How dare he question you. 

“You’re not keeping it, right?” Christian is the first to question. Max’s eyes gloss over, coughing lightly before overtaking the conversation from his own Team Principle. “I’m- I’m not ready to be a father.” His own skin mimics that of Christian; he turns as pale as the white lines of a hard tyre. 

“You’re not-“ You cut yourself off, instead opting to keep silent. You had nothing else to say. Max had made his stance on the situation ­clear. “I don’t need you, Max. I can do this myself.” The entire room watches as you pull away from Lewis and Toto, never once looking at the father of your child. 

10st March, 105 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

The Monaco Grand Prix was usually the highlight of your year; champagne podiums, speed boats and the comfort of sleeping in your own bed. However, this time you were not watching it from the screen of your car, nor the comfort of the paddock. You’d opted to remain at your apartment. For a start, the headlines which had been spiralling across the media were growing overwhelming. ‘Mercedes driver pulled out of racing until further notice.’ ‘Max Verstappen breaks up with new girlfriend after only weeks together.’ ‘Valtteri Bottas to pose for nude charity calendar.’

Maybe that last one wasn’t to do with your situation; you were all too aware of how your grid buddy could act in his down time. 

Your second worry was the fact that your bump was beginning to grow adamant. It had only been around three months, yet the bump seemed almost ballooning. Every piece of clothing you tried on made you feel like it was more and more obvious. You didn’t want anybody seeing what was happening to your body. Besides, it wasn’t like the pregnancy was an ­entire secret anymore.

You hadn’t heard from Max since that day in the office. Toto had found you crying an hour later, coaxing you to stop for your own health and the sake of the baby. For the first part of the racing season, your unfilled seat had been passed to George Russell. You’d smiled at each interviewer, telling the world you had an injury which made driving next to impossible at the present time. For each Grand Prix, you’d stayed sat next to Toto, cheering on the silver arrows. Maybe you hadn’t seen Max because you barely set foot outside of the garage. 

The news had slowly begun to spread from driver to driver, though each remained loyal and hadn’t told the press of your true reasoning for stepping away. Charles had been around in an instant, helping you to talk through what had been happening. He was your neighbour, after all, he liked to check in when he could. You’d had a visit from Daniel, telling you his best friend was a…well, how he put it, ‘a grade-a cunt,’ for how he had reacted. 

There was only one person, however, whom you had wanted to speak to. Sebastian had been a close friend, almost a mentor, during your first batch of Formula 1 seasons. He was also a father himself, maybe he would be able to explain to you Max’s stance on the whole thing. 

You knew he was visiting Monaco that weekend for the Grand Prix. When your phone buzzed from your living room, you’d assumed it was him asking for you to come and let you into the complex. What you were not expecting, was the text on your phone from none other than the father of your child. 

14:05: Max Verstappen

I don’t know if you have me blocked, I’m hoping you do not. I want to apologise for my reaction. It was a lot. I want to be there, for you and our child. 

14:09: You

I appreciate the message. Thank you. My next scan is on Tuesday, after Monaco. 

14:11: Max Verstappen

I’d like to be there. Could you send me the details, please?

14th March, 109 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

Max Verstappen was not a practical man. 

Despite telling him you would meet him at the address you had sent him, he’d shown up to your apartment just before you were set to leave. Standing in the lobby of your apartment complex, a large bouquet of flowers resting in his arms. You could have sworn you’d never seen Max outside of jeans and a Red Bull polo shirt; it was refreshing to see him in crisp shirt and cargo trousers. 

“You didn’t have to dress up.” You mumble, looking down to your own outfit; a soft summer dress seemed positively ordinary; hair loose around your shoulders. It was just a scan, after all. It wasn’t as if the two of you would be going on a date; you hated the man stood in front of you. However, a smile is soon nestled on your face when the man offers you the bundle of flowers, offering a warm grin alongside them. 

“You look nice.” Max nods, motioning towards the exit of the complex. His car was parked directly outside, as in order to avoid the press whom would undoubtedly be looking for the drivers in Monaco. The flowers decorated your arms, carefully resting them on your lap before adjusting your seatbelt. “Do you need anything?” He looks back to the complex, concerned if you had forgotten something.

“I just need the bathroom.” You mention half-heartedly. Max’s eyes widen, ready to step out of the car and lead you back into the apartment. “Oh-“ You cut yourself off, having to explain the situation. “No, I need a full bladder for the scan, so they can see the baby.” The man nods in understanding, sitting himself in the driver’s seat, looking both ways before beginning to start the route towards clinic. 

The car ride between the two of you was unusually peaceful; Max made light conversation, filling you in on the antics of the paddock from that weekend. You can’t hold back the laugh from your lips when he mentions Christian Horner slipping off his high seat when excitedly jumping to his feet. You missed the paddock; you missed the feeling of racing; you especially missed the banter between your friends. You’d have to return, sooner rather than later.

When the two of you pulled into the car park, Max was quick to step out of his seat, opening the car door for you. You offer him a quiet thanks before making your way into the building, side by side. The nurse you had previously seen gives you a smile, delighted to finally see the father of the baby alongside you. 

Max had silently followed you into the room; it wasn’t that he didn’t want to speak, quite the opposite. The man was taking in every piece of information that was being given, silent notes in his mind on each aspect. He’d keep the baby safe; he’d keep you safe, too. Ever now the gentlemen, he helps you to lie down on the seat, your bumped stomach revealed through lifting the skirt of your summer dress. 

He can’t help but notice the soft underwear decorating your lower half. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen you naked, after all. That’s how you had got here in the first place. His thoughts are soon side-tracked when seeing you wince from the coldness of the jelly and the cramp of the scanning machine. Max’s hand trails, feeling your own resting aside your body. He can’t help but hold onto it, trying to offer you some sort of comfort. Maybe it’s the sudden nerves, but your hand grabs back just as tightly, feeling his thumb rub carefully against your knuckles. 

“You okay?” He mumbles, trying to keep a low profile from the nurse. You can only nod, comforted in the way your…rival…was now holding your hand so preciously. 

“Now…” The nurse begins. “I wanted to check with you both, you mentioned wanting to find out the gender of your child.” Her question is directed towards you, Max’s eyes darting between the two women in the room. “Of course, if dad doesn’t want to know, he can leave-“

“Oh, no.” Max interrupts, mind racing at a thousand thoughts per minute. “I’d…I want to know too.” He agrees, nodding in synch with you. 

“Well, congratulations. You’re having a beautiful baby girl.” The nurse confirms, turning around the screen to you both. The undefinable shape you had seen mere weeks ago had developed, becoming a more shaped being. You could see the baby forming, eyes widening in shock. Your eyes glanced over to Max, his grip tightening on your palm. 

You didn’t miss the glossed tears in his eyes. He knew in that very moment that this baby, this moment was…everything to him. 

2nd May, 158 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

Overnight, Max Verstappen had truly wiggled his way into your inner circle. The two of you had barely said ten civilised words to one another since meeting all those years ago. Now? There was a string of texts almost every morning, asking how you were feeling, to let him know if you needed anything. You had truly begun to push the limits of his patience. The man had showed up your doorstep one morning with a bag of cinnamon pretzels after hearing your cries down the telephone line. 

Right now, the two of you were basking in the bliss of your little bundle of joy; there were still a lot of heavy conversations to come, but the first wave of nerves had passed, you were now simply excited to meet the little being growing in your stomach. 

The two of you had developed a successful co-parenting system to work your way through the pregnancy; Max had engrossed himself in endless copies of baby books. Daniel had found him one afternoon in his driving room, highlighting a textbook on what the main causes of a baby crying could be. He’d started to keep a calendar of every appointment that he’d attend alongside you, notes on the dates that you’re feeling a particular sickness or swelling. If you won’t bring it up with a doctor, he would. 

Max tries to convince himself it’s to keep his baby safe; of course, you need to remain healthy too, but he doesn’t care about you, not in that sense. 

It isn’t until he receives a phone call from you one afternoon, pleading for him to come and collect you from a friend’s house; your car had broken down and your Uber application wouldn’t seem to find you a driver that wasn’t half an hour away. Max had shown up at the doorstep ten minutes later, knocking on the door to signal your arrival. When there was no answer, he took his own incitive to investigate the back garden, hearing the light sound of music, chattering adults and giggling children. 

The garden is in full swing; you hadn’t mentioned it was a party; an extravagant one at that. He’s taken aback by the decorations, a giant bounce house and the most enormous birthday cake he had ever seen. 

His heart almost stops when he sees you.

You, hair framing your face beautifully, a pale pink dress hugging you in the most delicious way. Your attention is focused to the toddler on your hip, your godson. How on earth could you think you were not ready for this? You pulled faces at the young being his giggles screaming through the air. Max had always thought you were pretty, but now he could only see you as a goddess.

He’s convinced himself, after all. He doesn’t care for you. He worships you. 

9th June, 196 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

“I think we should move in together.” 

Max’s attention is drawn up from his phone. Christian and himself had been texting backwards and forwards for the past few days; the driver was trying to rework his schedule so he could at least be with you for a week after the birth. It was getting closer; the world now knew of your pregnancy, the media torn between harsh critics and positive glows. 

What they didn’t know was the father of the child was your sworn enemy. 

Maybe, enemy was a word you didn’t wish to use anymore. A friend didn’t seem right, either. A mix of late-night conversations, spooning ice cream to one another whilst binging a new Netflix series and picking out a bundle of pink pyjamas had drawn the two of you into an undefinable relationship. 

“You know…” You continue. “I want…her to have both her parents about. I don’t want her to grow up in a broken household.” It was true; you’d seen how it could affect people, especially the man who was sat by your side. He understood, completely and utterly. After what he had been through, he wouldn’t wish that on anybody, least of all his own flesh and blood. His own baby. 

“I missed my mother…a lot when I was younger.” He referenced his parents’ separation, how he had barely seen his mother and sister whilst growing up. “I wouldn’t want that for her.” Max rests a hand on your stomach, a soft smile on his face when he looks at you. Even with no makeup, a hoodie which was way too big for you, you were still positively glowing. “Why don’t we have a look tomorrow? Find somewhere around here with enough space for us all.” 

You nod in agreement. “That’s fine, but you’re painting the nursery.” You mumble in response. A small laugh emits from both of your lips. However, yours is soon replaced with a sharp wince, a rumble in your stomach. Max, whom still had a hand resting on the bump immediately stops laughing, both of your eye’s meeting in shock.

“Was that-” He cuts himself off when he feels the movement again. It’s a kick. The baby is kicking. 

“She’s awake!” You laugh, placing your hand carefully across Max’s. You gently guide it across your stomach, tracing the sharp movement in your stomach. “We must have woken her up. Sorry sweet pea.” You direct the last part of your sentence to the baby in your stomach. 

Max gently removes his hand from your stomach, his head tiling closer to your bump. The baby can hear him. She’s in there, nestled and warm, awaiting her welcome into the world. 

“Hi, sweetheart.” He mumbles, voice thick from holding back heavy tears. “It’s your Papa.”

He doesn’t miss the small laugh from you, entirely entertained by this whole situation.

“I know I can’t see you yet, but you’re the most beautiful girl I could ever ask for. Just like your mother.” He finishes, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your stomach. Softly, he lifts himself up, pressing a kiss to your temple, heads resting gently against one another as the next episode of your series began to play. 

29th June, 216 days after what should have been the happiest day of your life. 

Spa-Francorchamps was the last race on the calendar before the summer break. It was also the last time you would be able to be in the paddock without a baby strapped to your side.

It had been magical, when walking into the Mercedes garage. Cheers had erupted upon seeing their golden girl return to the paddock. Lewis had barely been able to contain himself, pulling you into the tightest hug which could be imagined. Toto had almost started crying, kissing the top of your head and resting a hand on your stomach, declaring the baby as his unborn prodigy. 

There had been no end of drivers coming to meet you, too. Charles and Carlos had declared how much they had missed having you around, presenting you with a baby blanket and beanie. Your heart had ­melted when they explained their mothers had taught them how to knit, both wanting to make a present for you, stitched with love. You’d almost started crying, hormones were in full swing in the third trimester, kissing both on the cheek and thanking them endlessly. 

Yuki had walked up to you that afternoon too, presenting a small Tupperware box. He had noticed you’d completely rejected fish, and most of all sushi, so instead had made you a batch which was pregnancy safe. The two of you had tried a piece there and then, declaring it as quite possibly the best thing your tastebuds had found since pregnancy had altered your tastebuds. 

Daniel had come to find you, telling you to meet him in his garage, that he had a surprise for you both. Both, meaning you’d probably have to find Max, too. 

His garage was only a short walk from where you’d been set up in the Mercedes camp. You’d began to make your way over there, hoping you’d bump into the father of your child on the way. You’d last seen Max that morning, having driven you to the paddock himself. He’d become…fiercely caring since the evening of feeling the baby kick. He’d slept in your bed that night, you are resting against his chest, a form of comfort in the third trimester. 

What you hadn’t expected to see, as you turned the corner, was a beautiful girl, hands resting on Max’s waist, her eyes sparkling, lips moving. You couldn’t see Max’s face, his cap hiding any expression, but your heart knew that he’d be smirking, basking in the attention.

Loving the attention of a beautiful girl, one that wasn’t pregnant with his child.

You couldn’t…understand why you had suddenly cared so much about who he was interacting with. When you’d first started this whole…adventure, he’d still been seen in clubs, leaving with different women on his arm every weekend. You’d hit the second trimester; his party and escapades had stopped, his sole attention of women being on you.

Maybe that was it. You’d grown to like the attention of Max. Whether it was as the father of your child or…something else. 

Your hormones were truly beginning to overtake you, feeling tears trickling out of your water line. You had to look away at that moment, you couldn’t keep looking at the events unfolding in front of you. Your mind traces back to that morning in Christian Horner’s office, how Max had turned pale, not wanting to be burdened with the birth of his child. 

‘I’m- I’m not ready to be a father.’

Maybe he wasn’t. But you were ready to be a mother. 

8th August, 255 days since what should have been the- 

You couldn’t handle this.

The pain was beginning to seethe through your stomach. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this, it was all wrong, it was happening too quickly. 

Since the incident at the paddock, you’d been radio silent towards Max. He wasn’t too sure of ­how it had come to be. All he had known was you’d taken yourself home from Spa, telling him that you’d needed to fly home to be with your parents before the birth.

 One day without a phone call was okay, he suspected it would be due to the time zones. Two was…a little odd. After three, he was frantically packing a suitcase, trying to get hold of anybody who would possibly know your parents’ address. He’d resulted to finding your teammates phone number. After he was met with a string of questions, asking how on earth he had gotten hold of his phone number. When Max had explained you had gone off the grid, Lewis had simply scoffed.

Of course, Lewis had known what had happened. He’d seen you return to grab your bag, eyes glassy as you offered the team a quick goodbye, promising to bring the baby to meet them all as soon as possible. 

The driver had been the one to guide you back through the paddock. Despite not racing together for almost six months, he still had your mannerisms sketched into his mind. Eventually, you’d confided in your closest friend, letting the tears fall freely as he guided you back to your Uber, pressing a kiss to your forehead, a silent promise that he would be there if you needed anything, if there were any more thoughts or issues.

He had no issue telling Max his thoughts over the telephone. Despite Max’s answers, there was no excuse. ‘You were hormonal. How did he think you felt when seeing Max with another woman, even if it was innocent, she didn’t seem to be in that stance.’ 

That was the case. It was an ex-girlfriend, she’d been in the paddock that afternoon, seeking out the world champion in an advancement to get them back together. Max had no intention of going there, not when he was during finding something, some gesture to show you of his advancing feelings over the past few months. That was why he had asked Daniel to get you to his garage. He would be able to surprise you, tell you how he was really feeling, how he loved you, and not just for being the mother of his child.

After copious amounts of pleading, Lewis had eventually sent over the address, giving Max a dire warning as to if he upset you again. 

The flight to your home had been fast. He couldn’t thank his assistant enough, getting a hire car set for the moment he stepped out of the airport. However, turning up at your home to find your father, arms folded, and eyebrows raised at Max’s sudden appearance. Your father barely said two words, just told Max you had gone into labour.

Max’s blood had run cold upon that realisation. He wasn’t there; he wasn’t there to hold your hand when the pain started, to hold your hair up and get some coolness to your overheating skin. He wasn’t ­there. Not for his little girl, and not for her mother. Being a Formula One driver in that evening was the most helpful thing in his opinion, arriving at the hospital in record time. 

Car thrown carelessly into a parking spot, he’d sprinted into the reception, a nurse resting a hand on his arm when seeing the pure shock registered on his face. He couldn’t get any words out properly, simply repeating your name, that he was the father of your child. He wanted to see you, he wanted to see his baby. 

The nurse nodded, motioning for Max to follow him down a corridor. He didn’t like the coldness of the building. You probably felt so alone. Every time he had come with you to a clinic appointment, he’d notice the change in your demeanour, how you felt uncomfortable. You should have opted for a home birth; you would have been calmer. Safer. 

Max eventually reached your hospital room, heart breaking at the sounds from the other side of the door. You were in pain. That much was obvious as he opened the door. Your mother wasn’t present. He knew your stubbornness, knowing that you would have wanted to do this without her. Maybe, you’d want to do this without him, too. 

His train of thought was interrupted, hearing a voice he had missed oh-so-much for the past three days. 

“Max.” You cried, tears rolling down your cheeks. The gas wasn’t working, the epidural hadn’t kicked in yet. You were going to feel ever piece of this. 

The man sprang into action; in an instant, his jacket was removed, revealing his soft t-shirt and trackpants. A seat was pulled up to the head of your bed, Max sitting himself down, one hand running across the top of your head, the other arm resting by your hands, letting you grip into him as deeply as you needed to. 

“Shh. I’m here, I’m not going anywhere.” He mumbles. Soft words of Dutch come from his lips; you’re too far gone to understand his words in English, let alone his native language. 

“You- why did you come?” You sob, feeling another contraction wash over your stomach. You can’t help but sob out, overwhelmed by the physical pain of the baby, the emotional pain of Max after seeing him in the paddock with that girl. 

“I couldn’t leave the love of my life to meet our baby girl alone, could I?” He responds, leaning upwards to press a soft kiss to your cheek. He can taste the salt from your tears. He swore there and then, you’d never cry again. Not if he was around. You’d stay with him in the paddock, you and his baby girl. He’d make you laugh at every available opportunity. He’d shower you both in gifts; he’d give his girls everything they’d desire. If one day you decided to return to racing, he’d retire there and then to let you peruse his dream. 

“Okay, okay. We need to push.” The midwife insists, seeing the pain flush over your cheeks. Max is ­there, clasping your hands, running a palm across your cheek, promising that oh-so-soon, your baby girl would be here, she would be in your arms, you would be complete.

There’s a sharp scream from you, and then the tiniest cries from the end of the bed. 

She was here. Bloody, high pitch screams fill the room as the baby is placed onto your chest.

A wave of relief flushes over you, lying back into the cushions, sobbing in hysteria; your baby girl had been welcomed into the world. Max this time, can’t hold back his own tears, aiding the midwife in cutting the chord, eyes in awe as he watched the midwife gently rub a cloth against her soft skin. 

“She’s here.” You whisper, the midwife aiding you in wrapping your daughter in a pink blanket, her wails cooling down, eyes blinking up to her mother. The blue eyes, identical to those of her father. 

Her father in question had sat back in his chair, eyes transfixed on the bundle in your arms. What he isn’t expecting is for you to motion your own arms towards him, letting the man cradle his daughter. It’s so…natural. Your heart fills with adoration; how you could ever believe you hated this man was beyond you.

Eventually, the baby is placed into the cradle, deep in slumber. Max hasn’t moved from your side, one arm around your back, both of you transfixed onto the peacefully sleeping child. 

“She’s here.” Max repeats for the hundredth time, eyes still focused on the sweet girl. His head turns to you, there’s no better time to say it. “I’m sorry. For not telling you sooner. For not telling you how much I care about you.” He murmurs, hand finding yours, clasping them together. 

“Yeah?” You tease, running your free hand through his soft hair, feeling his head press into your touch. His touch subsides, leaning in ever so gently, pressing his lips to your own. It’s soft, it’s unexpected, but it feels so, so right. It’s only interrupted with the soft cries from your baby once again. 

“Is this what it’s going to be like from now on?” Max laughs, his moment being disrupted by the baby. You can only laugh as he stands up, scooping up the baby into his gentle grasp. 

9th August, 1:06am. This was the happiest day of your life. 

[aziraphales-library]

Hi there! First off, thank you so much for y’all’s work here on Tumblr, def one of my main sources of fic recs.

I read Summer’s End by FeralTuxedo a while ago (lovely rec) and am definitely back in my TLOU-apocalyptic-setting-with-a-moody-but-calm/nature-esk-atmosphere-and-character-centred-plot era again. I just genuinely enjoyed the specific atmosphere that the apocalyptic setting gives works. Anyway, that being said, I would love any recs that would fit that kind of vibe (I would prefer less smut since I skip over it but honestly as long as it isn’t specifically plot-relevant its fine lol also not TOO much angst please, I cant deal with Az or Crow actually dying or something like that unless it is done in a comforting way).

ps: on a more specific request, if y’all know of any GO fics inspired by TLOU I would greatly appreciate recs (look, Bill and Frank’s episode in the tv adaptation is screaming to be written as a fic with Az and Crow instead- Bill and Frank’s deaths are wht I mean by deaths done in a comforting way I suppose, haha).

Wow, this is a long request, so sorry. Thank you so much for reading, have a great day and happy new year!

Hello! Pretty sure we've recommended almost all of these before, but there aren't loads of this kind of fic (and I could find no The Last of Us specific fics)...

Dead Genres by A_plus_platypus (T)

The end is nigh when a zombie virus ravages the world. Luckily, there is hope yet in the form of pharmaceutical scientist Anthony "Just Crowley" Crowley. With his adopted younger brother Adam, his other three kids The Them, and English teacher Aziraphale Fell, he searches for the fated military base in Tadfield. There, they �� along with the rest of the world — have a chance at survival. And also Crowley is a disaster, and Aziraphale is a disaster, and everyone needs a hot cup of tea.

what's to come by PepperPrints, restlesslikeme (M)

Post-Apocalyptic AU. Even without the Antichrist, both Heaven and Hell insist on Armageddon. Aziraphale is missing and Crowley sets out to find him, driving through a scorched Earth with a witch in his passenger seat.

is there anybody out there? by theycallmeDernhelm (E)

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse. England has been overrun by walking corpses, everything's gone to hell, and the few survivors are scattered- among them, Crowley and his 11-year-old son Warlock. When Crowley's radio signal is unexpectedly picked up by another group of survivors, he finds himself falling, in a way he never thought he'd fall again, for the charming and kindly Aziraphale. Over three seasons and a tenuous radio connection, a romance develops between them, while a friendship grows between Warlock and Aziraphale's nephew Adam. Love isn't dead (or undead) after all.

Ouroboros Forever and One by iblankedonmyname (T)

An AU where the Apocalypse-Definitely-Did, Aziraphale is a cowboy and Crowley is on a mission from God to reboot the universe. “God gave you, a demon, a mission?” Aziraphale snaps his glass onto the table. “Millions of angels at Her disposal, and yet…” His eyes are sparkling again. It’s more refreshing than a glass of tequila in a waterless land. “You?” His eyes slip from Crowley’s toes up to the top of his head. “Well, I am certainly surprised.”

Zombie Apocalypse by AppleSeeds (T)

When a meteor strikes Earth carrying a virus that can 'turn people into zombies', Aziraphale finds himself responsible for a group of frightened teenagers at an airbase-turned-hospital in Tadfield. Aziraphale is terrified, but experiences some relief when the teens introduce him to Crowley, who has a plan to get them all to safety. When things don't exactly go according to plan and with the zombies closing in, Aziraphale must face his fears in order to protect the children from becoming infected.

My Favorite Ghost by cassieoh_draws, DiminishingReturns (T)

Decades after the world didn’t end, Heaven and Hell got their war — and nearly destroyed everything in the process. When Aziraphale finally manages to reacquire a corporation and return to Earth, he discovers he was gone longer than he thought and the planet has become unrecognizable. As he searches for Crowley and tries to figure out how he fits in a world that Heaven, Hell, and God have all wiped their hands of, nature works around him to reclaim the bones of an old civilization as the scraps of humanity build a new one. A lush and optimistic post-apocalypse story, told from the POV of an immortal who can't let go of the past.

And the one you mentioned...

Summer's End by FeralTuxedo (E)

2095. Britain is a post-apocalyptic wasteland ravaged by droughts, the collapse of civilisation, and hordes of the undead. Despite that, Aziraphale’s life is actually pretty good. He has his caravan, his books, and his work, offering his services to the men who stop by Tadfield on their arduous journey north. One day, a mysterious stranger knocks on his door. Crowley is charming and handsome and he appears to know his way around a vegetable garden. He comes with the tempting offer of a mutually beneficial arrangement. But it’s in Aziraphale’s best interest not to get too attached. A dystopian cottagecore sex worker AU.

- Mod D

[whencyclopedia]

Anne, Queen of Great Britain

Anne reigned as Queen of England, Scotland, and Ireland from 1702 and then, following the 1707 Act of Union, over a united kingdom as Queen of Great Britain until her death in 1714. The last of the Stuart monarchs, Anne's reign witnessed the Spanish War of Succession which helped Britain establish itself as a major world power.

The Stuart Family

James II of England (r. 1685-1688) took over the throne from his late brother Charles II of England (r. 1660-1685) since the latter had no legitimate heir. James was a Catholic, but part of the deal which allowed him to succeed his Protestant brother in 1685 was that he promise to raise his two daughters as Protestants. James' first wife was Anne Hyde, the daughter of the Earl of Clarendon (m. 1660). The couple had two daughters: Mary (b. 1662) and the younger Anne, born on 6 February 1665 at St. James' Palace. Anne Hyde died of illness in 1671, and King James married again, this time to Mary (d. 1718), the daughter of the Duke of Modena. The royal couple had a son, James Francis Edward, who was born on 10 June 1688. There were rumours that the prince was an outsider brought in for convenience, and Anne herself had her suspicions about his legitimacy. The birth relegated Mary and Anne to second and third in line to the throne respectively. For Anne, in particular, the improbable likelihood of her becoming the monarch meant that she did not receive the education or preparation enjoyed by other future sovereigns.

The arrival of a new heir to the throne, who would surely be brought up a Catholic like both his parents, coupled with the king's pro-Catholic policies and authoritarian manner seriously worried many in Parliament. In order to maintain the integrity of Parliament and the achievements of the English Reformation and the primacy of Protestantism in England, several nobles now looked abroad for an alternative king. The obvious choice was William, Prince of Orange. The Dutchman was a Protestant and, in command of a powerful navy, he would be a very useful ally. Further, William was closely connected to the British royal family. William was, through his mother, the grandson of Charles I of England (r. 1625-1649), and he had married James II's daughter Mary in 1677. William was keen to have England's navy, professional army, and resources to aid him in his ongoing conflict with Louis XIV of France (r. 1643-1715).

As it turned out, William's invasion of England was remarkably tranquil, and King James, seeing desertions left, right, and centre – including by his daughter Anne – took the prudent action of escaping to France. This was the Glorious Revolution of 1688. The Prince of Orange became William III of England and his wife Mary II of England (r. 1689-1694). The two ruled jointly until Mary died of smallpox in December 1694. Anne had an uneasy relationship with William whom she described in letters with derogatory terms such as "the Dutch monster" (Cannon, 308). Largely, the royal in-laws kept their relationship distant and formal.

Continue reading...

[olympeline]

I was thinking about Arthur and Alfred’s relationship and it suddenly hit me: there’s potentially a really good interpretation to be had of the American War for Independence as the end result of the disconnect between a first generation immigrant parent and their second generation child. And how perfect is that with Arthur - literally a personification of the old world - and Alfred - literally the personification of America: the world’s great melting pot. I got excited thinking about it and it turned into an essay so please enjoy my ramblings 🥲

The disconnect I mentioned above is a well known problem between different generations of immigrants. An estrangement which can cause a lot of angst because both sides are trying to understand each other but can’t connect because their lived experiences are so different. The parent remembers the trials of the “old country” and sees their kid as a self-centred brat who wouldn’t know real hardship if it bit them. Meanwhile the child - through no fault of their own - has only ever known the new, better life and resents the guilt tripping over something they had zero control over. You know the classic: “When I was your age/you wouldn’t have lasted a day where I grew up/you’re so spoilt, etc.” from the parent. Answered with: “It’s not my fault I don’t know/how could I feel it like you do when I was never there/you chose to come here and have me here/do you want me to spend my whole life feeling guilty because you sacrificed for me, etc.” from the kid.

In the context of Hetalia it works because by the time Alfred gets to know Arthur he’s become a founder of colonies. But in Arthur’s past he was a colony, several times over in fact. Specifically an exploitation colony under Grandpa Rome (who wanted Britain for its large resources of tin because tin - a rare metal in Europe - is a key ingredient in making bronze), then scattered soft-settler colonies under Denmark (who started by raiding Britain for plunder and slaves but then established settlements later on because the climate was better for farming), then an exploitation colony that gradually morphed into a settler colony, that then merged with the native culture, under the Norman-French William the Conqueror.

Arthur became Alfred’s guardian but first and foremost Alfred was his colony. And Arthur’s experience with colonies was the above. So not a great model for parenting to put it mildly. Particularly the last one, which would have been freshest in Arthur’s memory. Harrying of the North. 😬 Enough said. It probably gave Arthur a very skewed view of what would constitute being a “good” parent to Alfred. Arthur left Alfred alone and expected total obedience from him for the rest of his life but, to Arthur, that was still treating Alfred with kid gloves. Just because he didn’t do things like sweep in and murder Alfred’s citizens en masse when they displeased him. Arthur drew on his own experiences and likely saw Alfred as incredibly spoilt and even outright pampered. Obviously he wasn’t, not at all, but the bar was on the friggin’ floor. It must have come as a big shock when Alfred rebelled because - in Arthur’s mind - he did everything right. More than right: he went above and beyond indulging his young charge. Treating Alfred like a son instead of ordering him around as a minion. I think that’s why Arthur broke down and sobbed on the battlefield. Angry tears of frustration and hopelessness because on top of the pain of Alfred’s “betrayal” there’s something worse: even at that critical point, in his heart of hearts I bet Arthur still didn’t understand why the war happened. Why his beloved, coddled son has turned on him like the viper at the farmer’s breast. It’s one thing to fight with someone you love because you know you’ve wronged them. It’s quite another to think you gave nothing but good only to have them turn on you anyway. Arthur is tough and used to hurt but the hopelessness and despair birthed from that terrible ignorance nearly killed him. It would be a long time before he opened his heart to anyone again.

But Alfred didn’t see it that way. Not at all. He wasn’t around for the colonial period of Arthur’s life and Arthur being…himself, likely never told him. Out of pride, trauma, pain, the shame of being conquered, etc. He kept his days of weakness a secret. So Alfred had no conception that Arthur was genuinely trying (and thought he was succeeding) in being a good and devoted parent. Which wasn’t Alfred’s fault or responsibility at all, by the way. I don’t want anyone to think this post is saying Alfred was wrong to rebel when he did. It was a totally justified reaction considering what Arthur put him through. Arthur hurt Alfred out of ignorance rather than malice but that doesnt erase the hurt. Especially from the point of view of a child. Alfred was just a scared, confused little boy who was left alone over and over again in a big, frightening world. Left to watch the human families around him love and support each other while he pined for Arthur to please, please come back and not leave him alone again. No wonder he grew up resentful at Arthur’s continuing expectations of total obedience. How dare Arthur demand so much when Alfred grew up on so little. Arthur had good intentions but they didn’t always bear fruit, which meant a lot of sadness and fear for little Alfred. At some point all those years of simmering pain and resentment bubbled over and Alfred just snapped. He realised nothing would ever change unless he forced a change and broke away from Arthur before the leaden weight of Arthur’s trauma and expectations drove him mad.

And that’s the root and lynchpin of all their issues right there: both see the other as selfish and entitled. Arthur because Alfred had a youth Arthur’s abused child self could only dream of. And Alfred because Arthur unconsciously expected him to live his whole life in the shadow of that pain.

Which is why it’s so tragic. Both of them have a point, both of them are wrong and right at the same time. No matter what Alfred thought, Arthur did genuinely do his best to give him the best life he could. He just fell short because he didn’t know what he was doing and his basis for comparison was abysmal. And no matter what Arthur thought, Alfred was never a spoilt brat who had everything but didn’t appreciate it because he grew up overindulged. Alfred was right to feel neglected, terribly hurt, and frustrated when Arthur brushed off his pain and expected Alfred to suck it up and be demure and grateful because he (Arthur) had it worse when he was young.

Doubly sad because if they’d just talked about it things could have been different. I’ve always seen Alfred as having a big heart underneath all his flippancy and boasting. Meanwhile Arthur is stubborn and a tsundere but he’s not an idiot and not incapable of change and self-improvement. And, like I said, he did truly want to do well by Alfred. Who truly wanted a good relationship with him in return. If they’d discussed all their issues it would have been a long hard road but, at the end of it, their relationship might have improved and not gone up in flames the way it did. But they didn’t and Arthur’s flat, uncompromising orders about taxation without representation was the straw that finally broke America’s back.

[m-jelly]

All I need - Chapter 1

@ladycheesington <3

Levi x fem!reader Future Fic, Romance, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, mafia, Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Gangsters Violence, Love, Confessions, Love, True Love, Fluff, Protective Levi, Possessive Levi, Gang Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut

You become the centre of Levi's world after a collection of debts your runaway ex put you in goes wrong because of a new kid not following Levi's orders correctly. Levi makes it his life's mission to protect you, care for you and give you everything you could ever want. As love blossoms between the two of you, things around you start to fall apart. Multiple people are working to stop Levi and take the power he has over the city. With multiple enemies working against you and assuming you're Levi's weakness, Levi shows them all just how powerful you make him.

A gangster romance with love, smut, romance, fluff, gore, lies, secrets and violence.

This chapter: Your now ex left you in debt with a gang and you're left to foot the bill. The debt collection goes wrong and the leader of the gang, Levi, comes to see you personally. Levi protects you and keeps you close. He takes care of you taking you and others by surprise.

Trigger warning: The reader is attacked and beaten in the beginning of this story.

Ao3 link

Part 2

It was driving you insane what had happened over the last few weeks. First, your boyfriend showered you with too many gifts and then he started to get paranoid like someone was watching him. Second, his things in your shared apartment started to disappear but he was at home a lot. Third, he vanished and left a note on the bed saying he was running off to earn more money and pay for all the debts he’d put you in.

Debts.

You had no idea that he had debts and put anything in your name. The most heartbreaking thing of all was he took everything from your account and left nothing. You had no money left to pay for bills and your rent. The only thing you had left was money in your savings, which you had been saving up for your dream home in the city.

As you faced your landlord while fighting tears, you were slowly losing your mind. No matter how much you begged him to let you stay for a bit longer, he wouldn’t let it happen. You even offered him some money in your savings until you made it to your next paycheck, but he simply said sorry and that someone was already interested.

It didn’t take long for you to pack your things up because you had sold a lot to get some money. The move to the next apartment was awful. It was tiny with just the basics. You had a lot of neon lights outside from shops, meaning your place would always be lit up even with blinds up. The rain did leak in a bit as well, so you were always cleaning it up.

As you made some instant ramen for dinner, you were wondering if your life could get worse than this. You wanted to know if more things could go wrong. You had a little hope in you that things could go well.

While you were holding out hope for life, something was happening that was going to change your life. The bad things in your life were not done with you yet. Your now ex had not only put you in some debt that you’d paid off with your savings, but he’d also gotten a debt with the mafia and they wanted to collect.

Levi gazed at the new kid and Mike. “This is a big debt. Tch, the shit owes me a lot and there are a few in his girlfriend’s name.” He said your name softly as he said your name written on the contracts. “Cute name. This writing looks like his. So, I’m assuming he signed her name.”

Mike hummed. “Likely.”

“What’s the update? He disappeared and so did she. You locate them?”

Mike nodded. “In a new apartment. Want to send the new kid?”

Levi looked the kid up and down. “Tch, oi? Do this right and you’ll be part of the group. Go to the apartment and see if you can get the money. Got it?”

The kid saluted. “Yes sir!”

“Go.”

The kid hurried off out of the base and into his car. Excitement filled him as he thought about his job. This mission was the first one he’d been sent on his own. He couldn’t wait to prove to his boss Levi that he should be in the scouts. He believed he was a vital part and Levi would think he was the best thing ever.

It was drizzly when he arrived at the apartment block. He landed his hover car on the platform and made his way inside. The kid was hoping that you didn’t have the money so he could break you to get the money. Levi had never approved of breaking someone to get money, but the kid was sure he would be proud if he got a lot of money from you.

He slammed his fist against your door a few times and waited. As soon as you opened the door he slammed his fist hard into your face and knocked you to the floor. “Where the fuck is the money.”

You touched your face and felt blood. “M-money?”

He closed the door behind him. “You owe my boss a lot of money.”

“What money?” You welled up. “I don’t understand.”

He punched you across the face again. A rush of pleasure went through him when you screamed and your blood coated the floor. His fist wrapped tightly around your shirt allowing him to lift you. “You and your boyfriend took a loan out with my boss and he wants the money.”

“My boyfriend skipped town. He stole all my money and ran. I don’t know where he is or what he’s doing. Please.”

He shoved you against the floor and gripped your neck tightly. “Liar.”

You gasped and kicked your legs. “S-Stop!”

“Your boyfriend is here. Call for him!”

You welled up. “He’s…not…”

“Oh, Danny! Come out!” He gritted his teeth as you looked on the verge of passing out. He released your next and growled. “Fucking stupid bitch.” He stood up and slammed his boot down on your arm causing you to scream. “Give me everything you’ve got.”

You whimpered. “I’ll send you the last of my savings. Tell your boss I’ll slowly pay him back each month.” You shivered as you fought your tears. “Please.”

He released you. “Send.”

You tapped on your communicator and sent the money across. “It’s yours.”

“Good bitch.” A sense of pride filled him. He got a lot of money from you, it wasn’t enough to pay off the debt but it was enough to make Levi happy. With this pride in him, he decided to take things further and slowly started trashing your apartment as you begged him to stop. He walked over to you and kicked you to the floor a few times. “Dumb bitch. I’ll be back soon.”

After leaving you he felt like he could run miles, drink bottle after bottle and fuck anyone he wanted. A false sense of power filled him. To him, he felt like there was no shot Levi would deny him a chance to be a scout. He did everything to make Levi proud. First, he had to report to Mike.

Mike sniffed the air once the kid returned. “I smell blood.”

The kid smirked. “For a good reason.”

Rage filled Mike. “What did you do?”

“Something amazing.” He shoved Levi’s office door open and grinned. “I got your money!”

Levi turned to face the kid and noticed his knuckles and shirt had blood on them. “Why is there blood on you?”

“Well, the dumb bitch needed to learn a lesson. So, I beat her black and blue, choked her a bit before trashing the place. She sent me the last of her savings.” He laughed hard as he thought about you. “What a pathetic bitch she was. Begging me to stop and that Danny wasn’t there. Said that I took all her money too.”

Levi’s foot connected with the kid’s gut and sent him smashing into the metal office door causing a dent to form. The raw power behind Levi’s hits was frightening to anyone. “I never gave you permission to lay a hand on her.” He walked closer as the air got thick and a darkness came over Levi’s face sending pure fear through the kid. “You beat a woman whose boyfriend had left her and you took all her money. This apartment she is in now? It’s the cheapest shit in the city, you dumb fucking piece of shit!”

Mike placed his hand on Levi’s chest. “Boss? We should focus on a girl needing medical attention, not this shithead.”

Levi pushed back his hair to return it to its tamed combed-back way. “You’re right.”

“Shall I send a medic?”

Levi shook his head. “I’ll go to her. I have to beg for her forgiveness for this moron. Make sure Hange sees him for discipline. Got it?”

“On it.”

Levi walked down the hall and sighed. “I’ll treat her. Tell the others not to bother me. I’ll update Erwin too.”

Mike dragged the kid down the hall. “I’m sorry I was a bad teacher to this one.”

Levi paused in the lift and looked at his friend. “You are not at fault for his stupidity. He thought his dick was bigger than it is. The fault is in him, not you. You’ve trained a lot of good members. I’ll be back soon.”

“You got it.”

The feelings inside Levi right now felt like something was burning him. No matter how hard he tried to push it down, it was still boiling up inside him and he wanted to hurt someone. The wheel groaned under Levi’s angry grip as he made his way to your apartment. He was thinking of what to say to you, but all the things that came to mind were just pure anger towards the kid who did this to you.

He parked up and went through the apartment block until he reached your door. He didn’t expect you to open your door to him, so he had a story ready and a lot of apologies. He gripped his medical bag, lightly rapped his knuckles against the door and held his breath a moment.

You pressed the small window and gazed out at Levi. Your heart skipped a beat as you took in the most handsome man you’d ever seen. “C-Can I help you?”

Levi flinched at your projected voice. “Hello. I’m Levi Ackerman. I believe a fucking piece of shit came here earlier and hurt you. I am sorry. He was in training with my people, but now he’ll be punished. I want to fix what he’s broken. I have a medical bag.” He lifted it for you to see. “I want to help. I’ll pay for the damages.”

You whined. “I can’t pay you back though and I already owe you money because of my ex.”

“After what that shit stain did to you today while using my name, I am wiping the debt clean for you.”

You gripped the door handle. “But my ex still owes you?”

“I will break him if you let me.”

You giggled. “Please do.” You opened the door a little. “Please excuse the mess and my face. I’m trying to clean up.”

Levi’s eyes widened as he took you in. Both your eyes were bruised up, your lip was cut, your nose had bled and there were marks on your neck. “Fuck.”

You smiled sadly. “That bad?”

He blushed. “Sorry. I just…I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’re here to fix it, so it’s okay.” You waved him in. “Come on in.”

Levi slipped his shoes off and made himself at home. “Thank you.”

“Can I get you a tea?”

He looked around your place to see the damaged things gathered in the corner ready to be fixed. “Uh, I think you should relax.”

You walked over to him. “You having tea with me would help me relax.”

He gazed at you as his heart fluttered. Your voice was incredibly soothing to him, your smile was infectious, your body divine and there was just something about you that drew him to you. “I’ll take that tea then.”

“Wonderful.”

“I’ll set up everything.” He placed his medical box on the table, used his fingerprint to open it and started getting a few things out for you. The way you looked it seemed like some bones had either been broken or cracked, so he needed his best stuff. “Have you done anything yet to try and heal your wounds?”

You returned to Levi with his tea and yours. “I tried. I can’t afford much right now. All I could do was fix my ribs and arm with bone healing. I think he cracked something.”

“Shit.”

You sat next to Levi. “All I need is the face stuff.”

He nodded and picked a bone healer. “I think you have a cracked bone where your cheek is. Are you okay with me using the healer?”

You clenched your fists as you felt nervous. “Yes, but I’m not looking forward to the pain. The bone healers are horrible.”

His touch was light as he held your chin. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I’m so tired.”

He hesitated momentarily when he saw the exhaustion and pain on your face. “Forgive me. This is only for a moment, okay?”

You whimpered. “Okay.”

He pressed the healing pen against your cheek and injected it. He flinched you grabbed his arm tightly and cried in pain. “I’m sorry. Just a bit longer.” He pulled back and rubbed his thumb over the wound. “Better?”

You sniffed. “Mm.”

Instinct and feelings overtook his actions leading him to kiss your cheek. As soon as he registered what he did he released your cheek and pulled back. He blushed when you smiled sweetly at him before and leaned towards him for a kiss. Levi held his breath and moved closer but you flopped forwards against him after passing out.

Levi released a long sigh before looking around the room. “Hmm.” He lay you down on the sofa before looking around your place. It was all one room and just a blind to hide your toilet and shower. “Where does she sleep?” He stared at the sofas, the blankets, the pillows and a little cushioned board that would attach the two sofas. “Fuck me…poor thing.”

Levi scooped you up into his arms and carried you to his car. He carefully placed you in the back before loading all your belongings into his car, which wasn’t many. As soon as he had everything he drove to the best hotel he owned and parked in his spot. First, he took you to the best room and lay you on the bed, then he added your things to the room.

He went to the bathroom and ran you a bath so you could relax when you woke up, he even made sure to add something nice to the water and put the towel on the radiator. Room service was ordered for you and Levi made sure that everyone knew that anything you asked for, or ordered, was on him. He wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible. He knew very well you’d wake up and try to pay him back for everything, so he had a plan.

Your eyes flew open as you inhaled deeply. “Levi.”

Levi sat on the bed with you. “I’m here.”

You looked around a little. “Where am I?” Tears filled your eyes as you felt slight fear. “I’ll do anything to get your money back to you, but I won’t sell my body to you or anyone. I’m sorry! I can’t.”

Levi cupped your face. “Shh, shh, I’m not asking that.” He wiped your tears away. “I don’t support that at all, okay? Besides, the debt you’re talking about is not yours, it’s your ex’s.”

“But he put things in my name.”

“I know, but I can tell by meeting you that you had no idea about it.” He hugged you. “Sorry, I felt like you needed this. Look, everything in your name has been moved to him, okay? Besides, if anyone is in debt to anyone it’s me to you. Someone in my name hurt you and damaged your things.” He pulled back and smiled a little at you. “I owe you and you owe me nothing.”

You pulled and played with the bed cover. “Mm, so, you want to help me?”

“Yes. I’ll give you anything you need.”

You gulped hard. “A good paying job?”

He chuckled. “I can get that arranged. It was my plan anyway. I know just the job for you and I will pay you well.”

Your eyes sparkled as you gazed at him. “Really? Amazing.” You gulped hard. “Thank you, Levi. I’m shocked at how much you’re helping me. You’re nothing like the rumours.”

“I’m glad.” He held your hand. “Now I’m taking care of you and I employ you, I am making a few changes. For starters, your apartment is no longer your apartment. I will sell it and you will be living here for a bit until I get you something better.”

Your heart fluttered. “Really? But-.”

He kissed your hand and smirked at you causing you to gasp and go quiet. “I take care of my employees. I’ll also pay you in advance and I will get some clothes sent here for you. Anything you need, let me know. Got it?”

You were so enchanted by his gaze that you just nodded and agreed with him. “Yes.”

“Good girl. Now, head to the bathroom and enjoy a nice hot bath. Once you’re done there go into the living room area and eat up everything there.” He pinched your cheek and wigged your face. “You deserve the best.”

You gripped the sheet tightly as a mixture of feelings went through you. At first, you thought Levi might hold affection towards you, but then you started to think that maybe he saw you as a young sister that he had to take care of. You didn’t mind because it meant at least someone cared about you in this sad city.

Two weeks had gone by and you were still in the hotel room recovering from being beaten. Your bruising had faded and your bones no longer felt funny. Levi had come by to see you almost every day. All Levi would do was check on you and give you some gifts before staying over for a while. The two of you would either talk, hang out a little or just sit in comfortable silence. It was nice to enjoy each other’s company.

Today you’d been alone for most of the day. You had grown so accustomed to Levi’s company, that you missed him. It was clear he was not coming to visit you, so you decided that you’d enjoy yourself and relax for the day. So, you run a hot bath with plenty of nice things in, heat your towel along with your dressing gown before getting in.

As soon as your body hit the water it was in pure heaven. All your aches washed away causing sleepiness to consume you. You closed your heavy eyes and softly slept in the big comfy bath. All your cares and worries in the world were gone. Even though Levi was a leader of a deadly and powerful gang, since meeting him you felt so safe and cared for. It was odd to seek comfort with a man who can and has killed.

Levi felt bad that he hadn’t come to see you all day, but he had a lot of meetings and needed to make sure your job was all set up. The job he had made for you was just a front and kind of fake. A building had been set up with a reception desk area that only people with ID approval on their communicator could get in. The work Levi was going to get you to do was just organise his emails a bit, send some messages for him, review mission reports for him and sum it all up in a smaller report. It was nice and simple for you.

He searched for you around your hotel room, but could only find evidence of your presence. The last place he checked was your bedroom and you had left your bathroom door open. He glanced inside to see you in the bath with your eyes closed. A slight jolt of fear went through him as you lay there unmoving. He hurried inside and checked your pulse to find your heart beating.

He released a long sigh and pulled away from you. “Tch, thank fuck.”

The sweet sound of Levi’s voice caused your eyes to flutter open. “Levi?”

He quickly turned his back to you when you started to sit up. His cheeks burned at the image of the top of your wet breasts came to mind. He used every ounce of his willpower to think of anything else, but it was hard to when you were moving about in the bath behind him. His hands shook a little as nerves consumed him. Normally he was smooth talking with people and confident, but you made him a mess.

You climbed out of your bath, dried yourself and then put on your dressing gown. “You can look now.”

He turned to look at you and felt his heart flutter. “Sorry, I came in here. I saw you lying there and not moving and I got concerned. I’m glad you are well.”

You fidgeted on the spot. “I’ve never had anyone care so much before. Thank you. I am well. I uh…I was worried about you because you were a while.”

He reached over and caressed your cheek. “You missed me?”

“I did.” You pulled from his touch with the belief that he held no love in his heart for you. Your heart was damaged and fragile, so it was difficult to imagine someone would care for you without a catch. Plus, you believed that Levi was only helping you out of guilt. “Are you here to make sure I’m eating well? I am if you’re asking.”

He emptied your bath as he hummed a little. “I am here to tell you about your new job.”

You sat down on a seat in the bathroom. “Really? That’s exciting.”

He nodded. “Yep. What you’ll be doing is checking emails for me, sending messages out, reviewing reports and then converting them into smaller ones to send to me. There’s no pressure either.”

You smiled sweetly. “Sounds like a great job.”

“I’m glad you think that.” He tapped on his communicator on his arm. “Sending you your first month’s pay.”

You looked down at your comms, the amount that came through made you gasp in shock. “Levi, this is too much.”

He hummed a laugh. “I think it’s not enough. I know you’ll be good at your job and you’ll help me out a lot.”

“When do I start?”

He rolled his sleeves up to reveal his arms were covered in tattoos. “Whenever you want.” He noticed you were staring at his arms. “Is it the muscles or tattoos that have your attention?”

You gulped hard. “Tattoos. I can tell you’re covered in muscles, but I didn’t expect the ink.”

He hummed a laugh. “I’m covered in tattoos. I have a few spots free that I intend to put something special there.”

“For a lover?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

You hummed a laugh. “What if it doesn’t go well with your lover?”

He cleaned up the tub as he thought. “Well, I intend to make it work with them. I don’t throw my love around.”

“Have you ever been in love?”

He stared at you for a while. “I have two exes and both I tried to love, but failed which is why I am not with them and I don’t have a tattoo. I know I’ll find the one. I have a strong feeling they are close.”

You fiddled with your dressing gown. “I’m happy for you.” You rose to your feet. “I’m going to change and probably go to bed. I fell asleep in the bath so I am taking the hint that I need sleep.”

“I’ll stay over. I have paperwork to do.” He watched you for a moment. It was clear something was bothering you and he was hoping that maybe the connection you had already would help. He waited a while so you could change before joining you. He softly called your name as you climbed into bed. “Something bothering you?”

You sat in bed and hummed in thought. “I’m just thinking things over. My situation and everything. I’m so grateful to you for what you’ve done. Thank you.”

He walked closer to you. “You feel guilty, don’t you? I want to treat you. This is all my choice.”

You welled up a little. “I don’t understand why you’re doing it all.”

“Because you don’t deserve the terrible things that have happened to you. You deserve good things in life.” He reached over and rubbed your cheek. “You deserve happiness.”

“Levi.”

He smiled a little. “An I uh…I li…I…I li.” He winced at his comms going. “Tch, shit. I have to get this. Excuse me.”

You smiled at him. “It’s okay. I’ll get some sleep. Thank you though. I feel better knowing your reason for helping me. I think I’m just…that damage Danny did.”

Levi pinched your cheek. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me, okay? Also, when I find that piece of shit I will make him wish he was never born.”

You giggled. “I can’t wait.”

He tucked you into bed. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me, okay?”

You curled up under the covers. “Thank you.”

Levi made his way to your living room and sat. He released a long sigh and thought about everything. His heart longed for you but he wasn’t sure if he should pursue anything because you had been hurt, your heart had been damaged. Walking into your life and loving you was not the answer to your problems. No matter how much Levi longed to be yours, it just wasn’t the right move right now. All he needed to do was look after you, give you the space you needed and watch for signs of when you were ready to receive love again.

For now, Levi was going to find your ex and drag his sorry ass back to this city and make him pay. He tapped away on his communicator and called the best tracker in his gang. “Sasha? I’ve got a job for you.”

“Hey, boss! What can I do for you?”

Levi sent all the information he had over. “I need you to find this man for me. He skipped town after gaining a large debt. He left someone wonderful to suffer because of it. Find him for me and when you do, do whatever you want or can to drag him back here.”

Sasha laughed. “You got it, boss, I’m happy to hunt and hurt him.”

“I appreciate this. You’re doing me a big favour. I’ll call you later.” He ended the call and gazed out of the window at the neon city with cars flying by. “Mmm, she deserves better.” He glanced down to see Hange’s name light up. “What can I do for you?”

Hange grinned. “I have some great news for you! I did a lot of research on the girl you’re looking after.”

“Oh?”

She giggled. “I am sending it over now. Looks like she was dating Danny for a year and he was good at first, but then the debts started a few months in. She was saving money for a dream home in the city.”

Levi gulped hard. “Send me a picture.” He tapped away on his comms and smiled at the cute apartment that was a little high up with a wonderful garden. “So cute. It fits her well. Well, I think we should work on making her dream come true.”

“Great idea! Now, can I ask why you’re doing all this? I’m curious Levi because you’ve never done this before.” She hummed a laugh. “She special?”

“She is.”

“You going to ask her out?”

He looked over at your door. “Not yet.”

“When?”

He ruffled his hair. “When she’s ready.”

“Baby steps with her. You’ve got this.”

Levi smiled a little. “Thanks.”

As Levi pulled up in the car it allowed you to look out at the building where you’d work. It was tall and shiny with a few pretty plants outside. You climbed out of the car and clutched your bag tightly as you admired the place. Happiness filled your heart because it was the most perfect place to work. The best part about it was Levi was leading you to the doors. The more you looked at Levi, the more your heart yearned for him.

Levi beckoned you closer. “This door will open for you because I have uploaded an ID to your communicator. Anyone without one won’t be able to get in.” He pushed the door open. “This is your office.”

You gasped in delight at the tidy and cute desk Levi had set up. It had wonderful soft and gentle colours on it, with a few little cute cuddly toys. The computer screen was nice and big for you. The mouse pad had a little dog on it and matched the sweet theme of everything. You adored the officer chair and thought the bunny ears on top were a cute addition. There was a snack cupboard and a fridge for you, along with a nice tea and coffee station.

Levi pulled the chair out for you. “Take a seat.”

You sat down and enjoyed how comfy it was. “This is nice.”

He leaned over your shoulder and whispered against your ear causing you to shiver. “I’m so glad. You wanna know the best thing about this job?”

You turned your head and gazed at Levi. “What?”

He eyed your lips for a moment before looking deep into your eyes. “No customers. It’ll be incredibly rare that someone will come here. Isn’t that good?”

You giggled. “Yes. I love that.”

“I’m glad.” He pulled back and hummed. “I’ll be working here in the office behind you. If you need me, you call for me.”

You nodded. “Promise.”

“Good girl.” He walked towards the door behind you. “I mean it. Call me if you need me for anything at all, even if it’s for a chat.”

You waved to him. “I promise.”

You waited for Levi to go into his office before you tapped on your keyboard and saw you were logged in thanks to your communicator. You stared at your empty emails and felt a bit useless, but a wonderful email came through from Levi. He made your heart flutter at how sweet he was in his welcome email. You replied to him and smiled at the emails that came through, along with a to-do list.

When you studied the to-do list, it didn’t seem like that much for the day which wasn’t too surprising. A part of you suspected that this job was just a front for Levi’s shady business, but you didn’t mind at all. Levi was kind and sweet to you, so you were happy to do anything he asked of you. You got to work right away and enjoyed the delicious snacks and food Levi had bought you.

As lunch came, you ordered some food to be delivered to the building. When the delivery machine arrived you opened the door and took all the food. You were about to close the door but an old man slammed his cane on the door and shoved it open. You backed up a little before blocking his path because Levi had clearly told you that you would never have contact with customers again.

You gulped hard. “Sorry sir, but can I help you?”

“Help me!? Help me!? I don’t like your tone of voice! And look at you, ordering food and grabbing it from a bot right in the front door where customers enter!”

You flinched at his tone. “Sir, we’re not a business. This building just has me and my boss in. We just process reports.”

He pointed at you. “Are you calling me stupid? How dare you!”

You felt panicked and tried to keep your cool due to years of customer service. “I’m sorry, sir, that was not the intention of my words. May I ask the reason why you wish to come into this building?”

“Why? Do you not know? My god, when I was your age we knew what we did in our jobs. These days all you young people just sit around and don’t care! This world hates old people! I am here for my money!”

You gripped the bag of food. “From Mr Ackerman?”

He shoved past you. “That’s what he’s called now, huh? They’re always swapping people around and getting rid of the old experienced workers. Now these places are full of young people who have no experience!”

You hurried after him. “Is it taxes? Council tax? Pension?”

He glared at you. “Why should I tell you!? You’re just a receptionist! Go get your boss, a real man! I demand to see him!”

You placed the food bag down on your desk. “Mr Ackerman is a rather busy man. He deals with a lot and-.”

“Are you saying no to me? What kind of customer service is this? You stupid pathetic woman! I pay your wages! I want to put in a complaint about you! Everything has gone bloody downhill! I’ll have your job.” He slammed his cane down on the floor. “You are prejudiced against old people! I’ll have your job for that! I promise you, you little fat tramp, you will be out on your arse in a heartbeat if I was your boss!”

You fought your tears and took in a deep breath. “Mr Ackerman deals with clubs, bars and shops. He doesn’t deal with pensions, taxes, benefits or council tax. We do not accept customers in this build. You are in the wrong place, I am sorry. Now if you tell me why you are here, I can help you out.”

He swiped his cane and smacked your leg with it. “Don’t you talk to me like that! Who do you think you are? I’m not some senile old man! I used to work for a place like this you know? It was far better when I was younger! I want this Mr Ackerman out here now.”

You winced a bit. “I will go get him, please just take a seat.” You limped to the back door and knocked. “Levi?”

The door slid open and Levi’s soothing voice called your name. “Come in.”

You limped inside as you fought tears. “Umm. Some old man forced his way into the building and started calling me names and shouting at me. He hit me with his cane and demanded to talk to you. I’m so sorry. I tried to get rid of him for you. I’ve failed you on my first day.”

Levi hurried over to you and held you as you cried. “Shh, it’s okay you haven’t failed at all. Tell me what happened.” He listened to your story in between your sobs. “So cute, you got us lunch.”

You sniffed a little. “I did.”

“Thank you.” He softly wiped your tears away. “You are amazing, okay?” He released a long sigh. “You did so well against him, but remember it’s okay to ask for help.”

You hummed. “I just didn’t want to bother you.”

“You could never bother me.” He cupped your face and nuzzled his nose against yours. “I’m here for you, okay?”

A warmth washed over you from Levi’s words and touch. You felt safe. “Yes, Levi. Thank you.”

He released you and pulled his blazer off to show he had a tight-fitting waistcoat under. Next, he rolled his sleeves up to show off his tattoos. No matter how much he tried to put his hair back, a few strands kept falling out of the hold of the product. He glanced over at you. “You can stay here or join me. All I will say is, I’m not going to be friendly. In my world, it doesn’t matter how old you are or where you come from, if you show no respect you don’t get any.”  

You clasped your hands together before your chest as your eyes sparkled in awe. “I like it.”

He stormed out of his office to see the old man messing up your desk. “Tch, oi! What do you think you’re doing to my girl’s desk!?”

“You’re girl.” You softly whispered as your heart fluttered.

The old man was ready for a fight, but as soon as he locked his eyes with Levi it seemed as if he recognised just who he’d disrespected today. “Levi Ackerman?”

Levi snarled. “That’s right, and who the fuck are you? You came barging into my office. You disrespected me. You disrespected my place and worst of all” he moved closer with a menacing aura “you disrespected my girl. Now, kindly tell me what the fuck you want and why you are here because as far as I’m aware, I have no meetings today with shrivelled-up old cocks like you.”

The old man shook a little. “I thought…I thought this was…”

“This was what? Some place you could shout at poor hard-working people just so you could get your thrill for the day? So you could feel big and powerful, huh?” Levi spat his words at the man. “Pathetic. Picking on people who are doing their best in life because you think the world owes you everything? You probably did jack-shit for the world. You’re a greedy old fuck who needs to reflect on his life. I bet you’re alone, aren’t you?”

“I-I.”

“You made yourself that way.” Levi pocked him in the chest. “Your selfish and self-centred ways pushed everyone away. Why don’t you try doing things for others for a change? Maybe thank hard-working people for doing their job. You’re so focused on yourself that you don’t even realise how others may feel. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

The old man lowered his head. “But I…”

“Did you ever stop to think about her? About maybe how your words could hurt? Plus, she isn’t a fucking mind reader. If you have a goddamn problem, you tell someone! She wanted to help you but you shut her down at every opportunity because you wanted to be this big ol’ dicked boss. Oh, and also? She was right. This place does not have customer service. I bet you were here about council tax, right?”

The old man mumbled a little. “Yes.”

“You got the wrong building. You need the other side of the city. I bet you knew you were wrong, so you took it out on her. It’s not her fault you’re stupid. It’s not her fault you got it wrong.” He walked over to the door and shoved it open. “Get out before I report you for hitting her with a cane. Yeah, U heard and I have cameras in here.”

You hurried over to the old man as he limped away with a strong blush. “Excuse me? I hope whoever hurt you in the past who made you like this suffered. Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you should hurt others. I really did want to help you.” You smiled softly at him. “Not everyone is out to hurt you. As a wonderful man once told me. Show respect and you get respect.”

The old man sneered at you as if you repulsed him. “I don’t need some mafia whore giving me therapy.”

Levi grabbed the scruff of the man’s collar and threw him out. “She gave you a chance and you fucked it up. If I see you near her again, I will beat your okay leg with your cane until the bone shatters.” Levi slammed the door closed and growled. “Un-fucking-believable. I should rip his spine out and use it to choke him!”

The rage inside Levi faded in an instant when you cupped his face with your soft hands. The sweet and bright look in your eyes made him melt. It was like you were a beast tamer. Instinct took over him causing him to nuzzle his face against your hand for comfort. He grabbed your hips first before pulling you against him. He held you for a while before releasing you.

Levi hummed a laugh. “Maybe I should add hugging to your job description.”

You giggled at how playful he was being. “Maybe. I like to see it as a fun bonus.”

He blushed bright red at your words. “W-We should have lunch.” He left you and grabbed the lunch bag. “Come on, let’s go.”

You hurried after him and went into his office. “Is it okay that I check my leg? He hit me rather hard.”

Levi placed the bag on the coffee table and looked over at you. “Where did he hit you?”

You touched your upper thigh. “Here.”

Levi gulped hard. He knew he needed to look at the wound and assess it, but at the same time, he was nervous about touching your sensitive thigh and looking at you without your tights on. “I ah…need you to lift your dress and take your tights off so I can look.”

You hummed and slipped your shoes off first before wiggling off your tights. “Sure.”

Levi could not take his eyes off of you. Something tingled inside him as your tights slowly dragged down your legs to reveal your soft and biteable skin. He wanted to bite and suck on your skin. He gulped hard as you lightly played with the bottom of your dress before pulling it up to show your thighs to him.

You turned a little. “My left thigh.”

He knelt before you and gripped your thigh. “Fuck.” He stared at the big wound. “He hit you hard.”

“He did.” You felt Levi’s grip on your thigh tighten with his rage. You reached down and played with his hair. “I’m okay. You’ll heal it.”

He looked up at you as he lightly massaged your thigh. “I will. I’ll fix it.” He rose to his feet and looked down at you, his big muscles and dominant look making you feel so small and yet protected. “Take a seat on the sofa, okay?”

You sat down and watched Levi closely. “Thank you. You always seem to be helping me out.”

“Well, because I want to.” He walked over to you with his medical bag and began rubbing the cream into the wound. “This should help.”

You hummed. “Thank you.” A shooting pain made you flinch. “Ow.”

“Sorry. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. You’ve done so much for me and you’re very delicate.” You smiled as you watched him work. “Your girl, huh?”

Levi’s cheeks went red. “U-Uh, y-yes. I-I meant that uh…that you uh…that you’re with me, you know? You’re um…protected by me.” He reached over and held your hand. “You’re mine.”

You smiled a little as happiness filled your heart. You knew there was a tiny chance this was a romantic claim to you being his girl, but in your eyes, Levi was too perfect for you. You were damaged goods and you felt like you’d only cause him pain if you got romantic. However, you had hope that there was a chance because he wasn’t any ordinary guy. Levi was a strong and deadly leader of a criminal group. He had control over a lot of the city and its money. Levi could protect you and care for you like no one has ever done before. You could tell by Levi’s words, his gaze, his touch and the way he smiled at you that you meant something to him.

[armageddon-generation]

The One Who Waits Should’ve Been the God of Fiction, not Sutekh

Sutekh was wasted as Series 14’s Big Bad & had no thematic connection to the rest of the stories. He was only there for fan-service. I realize this is partly Big Cope on my part, trying to rationalize the bad writing decisions this series, but it would’ve made way, way more sense thematically for the One Who Waits to be the God of Fiction, from the Land of Fiction.

The Land of Fiction is a pocket dimension the Second Doctor visits in The Mind Robber. Created by the Gods of Ragnarok, in it all the fictional lands and characters ever created exist and evolve, powered by the belief of our universe. It’s perfect for the themes RTD is exploring with series 14.

The God of Fiction latches onto the TARDIS at the edge of the universe during Wild Blue Yonder. The TARDIS as the ultimate narrative machine, the centre of so many twists and stories and myths, all the central plot-developments of this universe. Meta-commentary on the Doctor having slowly become the ‘main character’ of the universe. Of course a parasite that feeds on fiction would attach to him!

Now all s14’s fantasy elements- Goblins, a Bogeyman powered by storytelling, the folklore Fairy Circle, Boom tapping into faith & the afterlife, Rogue’s Bridgerton-fanfic romance & cosplay, all tie into the series arc. Narrative purpose for the experimentalism and scattershot tones, as the God of Fiction forces the TARDIS to new narrative extremes to feed itself.

(Also, 73 Yards- where Ruby is trapped in a nightmare world fuelled by dream-logic that she applies the structure and rules of traditional narrative to, latching onto a villain she has to defeat in order to make sense of the inexplicable- now becomes a microcosm of the whole season.)

People were initially worried RTD might re-use his original plan for Rose with Ruby- i.e. the Doctor manipulating her life to create his perfect companion. It’s a bad idea, but what if it was an external force? Like what Missy did with Clara, turned up to eleven.

The God of Fiction chose Ruby, the foundling, as 15’s perfect companion. The God is the one who shrouded Ruby’s regular human Mum in a Dickensian cloak, and the reason Ruby’s attempts to find a perfectly normal woman failed. They’re dressing her simple story up as a mysterious fairytale. The ‘we create legends out of ordinary people’ idea is baked into the spine of the season.

(This also lampshades 15 & Ruby being BFFs from the start. Skipping over/fast-forwarding through vital Doctor-companion milestones is explicitly because the God of Fiction has seen it all before & wants to get to the good stuff.)

Mrs Flood, with her fourth-wall breaking winks to camera, would be the God of Fiction’s servant in this version.

All the mystery boxes without satisfying answers this season- Susan Twist, the snow, the changing memory- were overtly placed by the God to keep 15 & Ruby on the hook. This way we can talk about the show’s overreliance on the Mystery Box structure, and the nuances of subverting expectations. The God knows they’re in a TV show! They acknowledge baiting 15 & the audience with Susan as shallow key-jangling.

By defeating the God of Fiction at the end of the season, through the genuine, human connection they’ve forged travelling together irrespective of mystery boxes or plot-twists or destiny, Ruby is freed from the constraints of the Narrative, and finally allowed to reunite with her Mum.

15 leaving Ruby would also make way more sense here; Mr. ‘I bring disaster, Kate’, ‘Maybe I’m the bad luck’ just got told his best friend’s life had been manipulated by a God because of him, and the foundation of their relationship was itself orchestrated, choreographed, puppeteered from the outset. He leaves Ruby to finally let her live a real life.

[luna-writes-stuff]

Promises, Ahsoka Tano

Song link

Fanfic, fem! reader

Reunion fic, resolved angst.

Word count: 3291

Tw: This is inaccurate because the sapphics would never be so oblivious and patient. So much pining and heartbreak. Slow burn but make it one fic. Mentions/descriptions of injuries, battle and the aftermath of a war. Probably inaccurate timelines even though I’ve been a Star Wars fan for over a decade. All these series are messing with me.

Summary: You and Ahsoka knew each other since you were both younglings and traveled with each other for a long time after order 66. But when something happens one night, you part suddenly. Now, a small amount of years later, she comes to seek you out.

Buy me a coffee/force me to write more

“Two hearts that shouldn't talk to each other become close In a town much like a prison cell.”

When one thinks about the aftermath of war, they’ll often recount the lives lost. Who won and who lost, and what was won and what was lost? How will the new society function? One thing that often gets forgotten are the survivors, more specifically those who cannot partake in whatever role the world has to offer them yet.

After the Empire was destroyed, thousands of children lost their families, lost their reputation- lost everything, but they weren’t old enough to help restore anything. They were left behind, forced to pick up their broken pieces together.

With the old rebellion, you had established a camp on Coruscant, giving shelter to those who had lost everything. You gave them a roof, food and schooling. Something to help them when they were old enough to go out on their own.

Coruscant had been the centre planet of the Empire, and there were many out there who believed everyone kept alive there were Empire sympathisers, when in fact the opposite was true.

“People speak our names on the street in hushed tones. Oh, the stories they'd tell if anyone would listen. If anyone would listen.”

The camp had been built in the old Jedi temple, where none really dared to enter again. It offered enough space and enough freedom for the children, regardless of the bad memories it might have brought you. Though the emperor had turned the temple into his own palace, there were hidden places still intact. You would come there often to simply sit and think.

You hadn’t even been a full adult when order 66 was issued, still serving as a padawan under your Jedi master. After the fall, you had left everything you had learned there - in the desolate Jedi temple where you had once swore to keep the peace and maintain the balance of the force.

Every time you sat there, you recounted your action, your memories. Everyone you knew and everything you had learned. Your saber had been long buried. Your aid in the rebellion laid within the medics, helping those who had already fallen. It was a good alternative for you. You saved lives of those already deemed dead, and helped the rebellion remain strong. That had been your strength. And once peace was restored, you knew your job was far from over yet. There were still many out there who needed your help.

“You come from a town where people don't bother saying "Hello" Unless somebody's born or dies.”

It had been ten weeks since you set up camp here, and the bond between you, those you worked with, and the children had grown incredibly strong over time. Regardless of the number of people in the temple, you knew all their names and got along with all of them. When you weren’t teaching the children, you occupied yourself in the med bay, though most injuries now extended to scraped knees and bruised skin. In your free hours, you’d run outside with the children, even offering some a handful of defence classes to keep their guard up.

At the end of the day, you’d always find yourself back in that small hall that had remained untouched by the empire. The walls still their marbled gold with white floors, though they were long from polished and shining now.

A month ago a young boy had been practising with a stick, claiming he wanted to one day wield a lightsaber. You knew he had been force-sensitive, but you were reluctant to teach him. Sure, you kept up with your abilities from time to time, but you hadn’t held a saber in years. You couldn’t teach him what you knew, because you simply knew too little. But he was adamant - and surprisingly skilled as well. Thus, you decided to practise your wielding skills again. But now, with a steel pole, roughly the size of a regular blade. It was heavier than usual, but it would work for you.

“And I come from a place where they drag your hopes through the mud. Because their own dreams are all dying.”

You had been practising for weeks, but it was hard when there was no teacher. You were struggling with your footwork when you were suddenly highly aware that you were being watched. You spun around gently, suspecting a child had followed you here, but you were proved the opposite when a familiar voice sounded: “Your footwork is sloppy.”

Turning around the corner, you were faced with a figure that caused your breath to simply remain stuck in your throat for a second.

“Ahsoka,” you breathed, dropping the pile immediately before running up to her, wrapping her in a hug. She was keen to return the gesture, a happy chuckle leaving her as her arms wrapped around your body. “Maker, it’s been so long.”

When you parted, she looked at you with a smile. She had aged, but so had you. She looked more mature, yet that childlike glint was still so visible in her eyes. She looked good.

“And when we walk down the street The wind sings our names in rebel songs.”

“I’ve heard of what you’ve done,” she hummed. “You did good.” You sighed at her words, somewhat grateful for her words, even though you didn’t need them. In your head, you were just happy she was standing in front of you, fully alive. You hadn’t heard from her since the two of you parted, and the silence had been killing you every single day.

“I was worried you had been lost in the war.” You voiced aloud, a remark that caused her smile to broaden just a little bit. “I’m fine,” She assured, nodding her head slightly. “You look good, too.”

Though the words brought just a little heat to your cheeks, you tried to shake it off, teasing her as you twirled your hair. “No grey hairs yet?” You asked rhetorically. “You’d think they’d begun to grow now, considering the stress these children bring me.” Ahsoka laughed at that, crossing her arms before gesturing towards the door she had just came from.

“It’s an admirable thing, taking care of those who are forgotten.” She mused, her face falling slightly. She knew how difficult it had been for children after the war. “Yes, well…” you trailed off. “We used to be a part of them.”

“The sounds of the night should make us anxious. But it's much too late when the fear is gone.”

Silence struck the pair of you as your words laid heavy on your mind. After order 66, you and Ahsoka had been alone, still children, though older. Everything had relied on those around you, but with the gone, the universe had seemed bigger than ever. Where you and Ahsoka still had each other, these children didn’t have anyone. You weren’t going to let them wallow in their own misery, and you - luckily - hadn’t been the only one who refused to let that happen.

“Don’t misunderstand,” you began, breaking the silence. “I am happy you are here, but why?” The togruta seemed to think about that for a short second, though the answer came quickly: “I came here to seek you out.”

Deep dread immediately settled into your system. Usually, when someone would come along, claiming to ‘seek you out’, something had been terribly wrong, or your help was needed for something of grave importance. You couldn’t help but feel slightly panicked at the revelation: “Is something wrong?”

“No,” she quickly denied, as if sensing your stress. “No; I feared there might be, but there isn’t.” The small amount of new adenine in your body slowly died down, confusion now settling in: “What do you mean?”

“I will meet you in the Next Life, I promise you. Where we can be together, I promise you.”

“A few rotations before the falling of the empire, I lost contact with the rebellion.” Ahsoka confessed, rubbing her upper arm in discomfort. “I didn’t know if you were safe.”

Part of you was flattered - happy that she was checking up on you. Even after you went your separate ways, she still wanted to make sure you were safe. However, you never realised she had been doing this, which left part of you even more confused: “You checked on me?” She merely shrugged at your words, even though her facial expression showed slight sympathy. “We went different paths, but it doesn’t mean I shouldn’t care.”

A heavy sigh came from you, trying to repress the memory of how you two left. That was something you didn’t wish to discuss. But the disappointment was still very clear in your words: “You could have called me.” You mumbled, your voice hurt, but not accusing.

Ahsoka formed her lips in a thin line at your words, lost sentiment lingering on them. “I was being hunted,” she defended with a gently voice. “I didn’t want to risk dragging you down with me.”

“I will wait till then in Heaven, I promise you. I promise, I promise.”

When you didn’t respond to it, other than the empathic smile on your lips, she continued: “I heard about this place only days ago. Figured it was worth a look.”

You didn’t have it in you to get mad at her. You had been concerned about her for months now - arguing be damned. It was pointless anyway. If there was anything you had been feeling, it was relief. Anger would be forced, and not only did you refuse to show it as an obvious consequence of your training, it simply wasn’t worth the energy now.

“Well, I am glad you were worried about me.” You confessed. “I’ve been worried about you too. Only, I had no way of checking up on you.” She hissed slightly at the words, humour laced within her tone: “I’m sorry.” “No, it’s okay,” you deny, even though the words kind of hurt. “I understand.” Considering the way we split.

You didn’t say those last words. They were just painful reminders in your head. “I’m just glad you’re still alive.” “Yes…” Ahsoka lightly trailed off, somehow knowing the words that had been going on in your mind. You didn’t linger on it.

“Will you stay here? At least for the night?” The sun had already begun to set, and dinner had long been served. In truth, you were ready to turn to bed after your ‘training’.

She seemed to hesitate to answer, but gave in after seeing your pleading face, another gentle smile tugging on her lips.

“For the night.”

“There's so many fighting to get past the Pearly Gates, But nobody ever wants to die or get saved.”

The last time you saw her must have been a little over a year ago. Since order 66, you had been travelling together, taking comfort in the mere company of each other. Growing up in the Jedi temple and groaning together had strengthened your bond significantly, but it was after the empire had risen that either of you began to realise that there might have been more than friendship there.

None of you ever dared to act on it, still convinced of the Jedi ways. It took years for that to fade, and even after that, the reluctance had been clear between the both of you. It didn’t help that neither of you dared to show it. It made the impression of unrequited feelings much stronger than they needed to be.

The last time you saw her was after you had gotten ambushed by a group of bounty hunters. Ahsoka would have usually handled them themselves, after you had gotten around with the blaster and medical supplies, but they had been too great in number. In the end, you had them cornered, and managed to get away, but this was not without a scratch.

“Their intentions aren't that good and I can smell the asphalt. That's their personal road to Hell being paved.”

“Next time I tell you to go left, you go left.” You scolded, kneeling beside the bench Ahsoka had been laying on. You had returned to your makeshift camp shortly after the attack, tending to Ahsoka’s injuries before you’d relocate. The smell of burning flesh penetrated the small tent, and the angry red mark on her side seemed to scream for attention.

“They would have killed you if it wasn’t for me.” She hissed through her teeth as you began to clean the wound, doing your best to remain gentle. “Yes,” you argued. “But now I am completely fine and you have a blaster wound in your side. The third one since we left Tattooine, might I add.”

Even though her side had been burning, the togruta still seemed to choke out a laugh, grinning at you in assurance. “That was the point.” When you didn’t return her smile, she looked at you more careful, her voice immediately taking a more concerned tone: “You’re fine, right?” “Yes.” You sighed, stopping the cleaning to look at her face. You pointed at her accusingly. “But I’m still mad at you.”

She nodded: “I deserve that.”

“And when we walk down the street The wind sings our names in rebel songs. And it's much too late when the fear is gone.”

Something within you sparked at her words, but you pushed the feeling down. You knew better than to make the best of this. If she really meant anything with it, she would have acted on it by now.

Thus, you turned back to your work, replacing the cleaning supplies with a bacta patch, gently tearing the plaster layer off of the bandage. “You make my stress levels fly out of the roof.” You muttered, not noticing the way Ahsoka’s expression softened as she read the worry on your face. She ignored the tug on her heartstrings.

“Sounds like me.” She merely hummed, squeezing her lips together as you applied the bacta patch. You rested your arms on the cot, checking for any more injuries on her body. When you found none, you shifted lightly to level with her face.

“Just… be careful next time?” You spoke, though it sounded more like a question. “And maybe listen to me for once?”

“I will meet you in the Next life, I promise you. Where we can be together, I promise you.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologised genuinely. You should have left it at that. In hindsight you never should have said anything. But something in her eyes made you want to. There was something vulnerable there and you would have been blind if you hadn’t seen it.

“Ahsoka,” you sighed. “We have lost so many things already. Don’t make me lose you too.”

She had noticed it too, that same softness. Not in her eyes, but in yours. Doubt clouded her mind. If there was a time, it was now. You were so close, so genuine, so beautiful. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she was praying to everything out there that you hadn’t heard it. But Anakin did everything for love, and it ended him up some place she never wanted to go. She had to push it down.

“You won’t,” she joked, but went on afterwards in a more serious tone. “I’ll be more careful.”

That was all you needed to hear. You wanted to hear more - of course. But the change in her features was so apparent. She was shutting you out again. Each time you came close, this would happen. You had learned to make peace with it.

“Thank you.”

“I will wait till then in Heaven, I promise you. I promise, I promise.”

“But I might fall sometimes, you know?” She teased. “So, you still gotta patch me up.”

And just like that, that look was back. As if it had never left. It seemed more genuine now, more meaningful. You hated how hesitant you were. Maybe if you hadn’t been, you would have actually gotten somewhere. But when she shifted slightly, you could have sworn she did that just to get closer to you.

And when you leaned in, she made no effort to lean back. In fact, she seemed to come even closer. Heat was flushing towards your face as your stomach suddenly felt very light. If you wouldn’t now, when would you?

Your hand inched closer to her as your lips finally connected. It was hesitant, light - almost not there if you hadn’t seen it. But when your hand found her shoulder, she reached to clutch to it, before returning your kiss with a little more pressure, assuring you that this hadn’t been a dream. The moment you tried to turn your hand to intertwine it with hers, she suddenly pulled back, sitting up as she swallowed harshly.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I shouldn’t have.” Ahsoka shook her head, confliction swirling through her mind. “Why did you do that?” “I’m sorry.” You apologised again, cursing yourself for the wrong social cue. “Forget it happened. Impulsive action.”

You didn’t notice the way her face fell upon those words, nor the way her lip trembled lightly. You just continued to rant: “Adrenaline rush. Makes people do crazy things they usually wouldn’t do.” And that was what broke her. Of course; It makes you do crazy things you wouldn’t usually do. Why would you?

She got up from the cot, making her way towards the exit of the tent. “Ahsoka?” You called after her. “I need to get some air.” She managed to get out. “Yeah, no, of course.” You stuttered, now crestfallen on the floor as you watched her leave. “I’ll- uh, I’ll be right here.”

That was the last time you had seen her. You had heard her take off, leaving you at your camp with just a speeder to get you to the nearest village. You lost all contact afterwards.

“I will meet you in the Next Life, I promise you. Where we can be together, I promise you. I will wait till then in Heaven, I promise you.”

The walk to her room seemed somewhat comfortable, even though the memories now came flashing back more evident than ever. You wanted to get rid of them. She seemed fine now - surely it wasn’t worth getting worked up about.

“I’ll be down the hall if you need anything.” You spoke as you opened her door. She seemed to have notice the sudden shift while the two of you were walking, and turned to face you as she stood in her door opening: “I’m sorry if I make you nervous.” “No, it’s fine,” You shook off. “It’s been some time.”

She just nodded at that, shooting a quick glance in the room. “Thank you.” She said as she looked back at you. “For allowing me to stay here.” “Of course.” You smiled. “You don’t need to ask.”

When she didn’t respond, you turned slightly, pointing towards a door at the left end of the hall. “If there is anything, and I mean anything, that door is mine.” Then, you turned to leave, offering her a small wave. “Goodnight, Ahsoka.” “I am sorry I left.” She interrupted before you could set a step. “I shouldn’t have.”

One look was cast over your shoulder, though it wasn’t in sadness or frustration; it was a strange combination of remorse and peace: “You don’t need to justify your actions. Not to me.” “You deserve to know why.” She countered, seemingly adamant on making her point.

“Tell me about it tomorrow.” You smiled, an offer she seemed to be okay with. And with that, you continued your path.

“Goodnight, Ahsoka.”

“Goodnight.”

“I promise, I promise.”

[gmalaart]

Still Waters (Run Deep)

The water parts around you, swirling and shifting as you pick apart the threads of memory you have chosen to comb through today. Something pulls the edges of your attention, lifting you out of your self imposed work. You huff and the air leaving your lungs propels you further up, away from the smell of your childhood home and the sound of your brother’s attempts at playing the piano. As the bubbles cloud your vision and the pressure of the zee and of time fades, the melody changes. It becomes louder. It sways from a piano to a violin. It is just as familiar as the memory of your brother, and you breathe fully for the first time in weeks. 

You lay on the surface of the water, staring at the cosmogone sky as a girl casts her shadow across your face. She plays her song, impressions of your past meetings with her washing over you in waves. Nowadays you don’t have much to talk about. She came to you often, at the beginning, when she first sensed your presence. You brought news of her father and she made you write promises into the cresting water all around you. You could see them still, if you waved your hand just so in the water. But you have said all that needs to be said, and so has she. The company is comforting either way.

Minutes, hours, perhaps days later, you feel a string pull at the centre of your chest. Your hand reaches under your own shirt, brushing against the set of stones encased in the necklace that sits snugly against your neck. They beat a warm rhythm into your skin, like they did only once before, here in the Is-Not, and the water stills around you. It creates a perfectly clear mirror to the sky above for just a moment, before the perfect immobility is broken by skipping words across the cosmogone hue. 

Your throat feels tighter, with each new sentence. Lenore stands with you in the whirlpool of memories that are whipped up by the words, the eye of a storm of your own making. 

Shared touches brush across your skin-

 A wave of worry flows up the length of your chest-

The lights of the bridge when he chased after you like no one ever had-

Closed curtains as he finds your arms after his hands had crafted a new order for the world-

His embrace, the first thing you felt after your body breathed anew-

The incredible privilege to see his mind at work-

I love you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.

“I think this is where we part ways, my dear,” you say an epoch later, when the storm has died down and the words have long been blown away by the wind. 

“Yes, I think so too,” she answers. Her music plays on but it is fainter now as she holds her suitcase and gazes out towards where it feels like land is. “A ship should come by, but I don’t think you’re going to wait.”

“Absolutely not. It’s about time that I stretch my legs, I think. A walk would be nice.”

The zee ripples as she laughs, looking up at your face as you stand just out of reach. 

“You’re going back then?”

“I am.”

“That’s good.” She is quiet for a long while, both of you lingering and putting off the inevitable. “Take care of dad for me. One last promise.”

You turn to face her, tracing the features you have come to know so well. She looks like him. You think that you might have enjoyed meeting her when she was more than a memory.

“Of course. My skills are at his disposal, he knows this,” you say and watch her tilt her head, dipping into images of the times you offered something much more meaningful than skills to her father. “Alright, alright. I promise.”

A gust of wind carries your words away but you know now that they will remain. Someone will remember, somehow. As you gaze upon her one last time, the echo of your steps already moving across the surface of the zee, homeward bound, you hum the last notes of her endless melody.

All is quiet, here at the end.

“Be well, Emon.”

“And you rest easy, Lenore.”

A sort of response, sort of follow-up to @zeebreezin's last piece of writing, aka Shaw's letters as he set off to finish his Ambition. it absolutely knocked me on my feet and I needed to try to match the energy. and I suppose this means that Emon is on their way out of Parabola now!

[loveysloveclub]

THE MAN! UMICH AU chapter v. game day

in which, molly's first hockey game goes worse than expected.

molly wasn't usually nervous for hockey games. in fact, she looked forward to having fun on the ice. but that was back home, with the boys she grew up alongside and not halfway across the world with a bunch of boys who had made it clear that they wanted nothing to do with her.

despite her anxiety, molly did a good job as shoving it all in. after all, there was a high possibility that her coach would decide not to play her. majority of the freshmen wouldn't be on the ice tonight.

entering the children of yost arena, molly was taken aback but the sheer amount of people that bustled around her. college kids were taking photos in their university of michigan merch, parents were here to support their children with their numbers on their backs and little kids carried signs around, hoping to get a puck.

sure, there was always a small crowd back home when she played. but the energy in the arena was electric.

"you good, maxxy?" the girl spun on her heel to find her new friend, dylan duke. he watched the girls big eyes with a humorous expression. "i've never seen so many people in the same place to watch a hockey game."

"ah," dylan breathed out, "so young, so naive."

molly couldn't even get out a word of retaliation before he was skipping off down the hallway in search of his locker room, where him and the rest of the boys on the team would be getting ready for the very first game of the season.

the blonde decided, that in order to not be late, she would have to do the same.

walking down the corridors of the arena she had become familiar with, molly couldn't help but look at her new life under a different light.

sure, college wasn't exactly living up to her expectations and she didn't have many friends, but it seemed that the girl had forgotten what she was here to do under all the stress of trying to fit in.

with a new sense of excitement, the girl skipped passed down the hallway, only to halt in her steps at the sound of a few of her fellow teammates. more specifically, her captain that had made is abundantly clear that she did not belong on his team.

"i told you, bro. coach benched her this game, which means she's mediocre, at best, and she's only here to get us some publicity before she's shipped off to wherever she came from."

and just like that, all the excitement was slapped right out of her body and was replaced by an oncoming wave of doubts. sure, she knew she would most likely be benched, but harry's repeated words of publicity stunt and mediocrity brought an onslaught of new self consciousness molly had never possessed before.

harry was right about something though, molly was benched the entire game. she expected this. freshmen almost never play the first game of the season. she just hoped that she would get some game time in the next up and coming weeks.

after the game, molly stood up against a wall of the centre, texting her friends from back home about what harry had said before the game. she watched as her teammates all celebrated with their families, all going out for dinners together. she frowned at the sight. not only was her mother on the other side of the world, but she wasn't very supportive of her moving all the way to america to pursue a dream she said "was never going to work out."

and don't even get molly started on her deadbeat dad that left her when she was five.

"oh my goodness, you must be molly!" glancing up from her phone, molly was bombarded by a hug by an older blonde lady, whose smile was contagious as molly's face broke out into a huge grin. "i'm ellen, luke's mom!"

glancing around ellen, molly caught sight of luke hughes, with his head in his hands. molly almost laughed at the boy's clear embarrassment of what his mother was doing.

"it's nice to meet you."

"you did so well tonight!" ellen complimented the girl. "i sat on the bench all night?" molly's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but ellen merely shook her head. "but you looked so pretty."

molly laughed shyly, red covering her cheeks at the compliment.

"why don't you join us for dinner?" ellen asked, gesturing behind her to luke and an older man which molly assumed was her husband.

"no, that's okay. i don't want to intrude." molly appreciated the invitation. but her and luke weren't necessarily friends, and she didn't want to impose on his quality time with his parents.

"luckily i'm not taking no for an answer." and with that, ellen was dragging molly to her car which they would ride in to the restaurant, meeting luke and jim there.

next chapter previous chapter

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Yandere Alfie Solomons:

Well, as a yandere, he would constantly be watching his beloved. He'd be extremely possessive, and when you interacted with other people, he would act irrationally and make his intentions clear. He would keep tabs on you 24/7 and make sure that you were always with him. If you showed any interest in anyone else, he would act violently and eliminate the new competition by any means necessary. But most importantly, he'd do anything for his love and would go to any lengths to make you his and his alone.

He'd be very territorial of his prey. He'll be very clingy and obsessive, constantly wanting your attention. He'll also be very possessive, going out of his way to ensure that none of your other suitors ever get a chance to be alone with you. Whenever he sees another person even coming close to you, he becomes jealous and angry, doing everything in his power to ward off his competition and keep his prey all to himself.

He'd be obsessed with you, to the point where he'd be jealous of anyone he perceived to be a threat to your relationship. He'd probably go to extreme lengths to "protect" you, including killing any potential rivals. He might even try to isolate you from your friends and family in order to have you all to himself with no more interruptions.

As you would become the centre of his existence, he'd be willing to do anything for you: take your side in any situation, put your needs before his own, stand by your side through thick and thin, protect you from harm, and even die for you. He would want to be your first thought in the morning and your last thought at night and to always be in your thoughts and mind.

If he knew that you were meeting friends or spending time with family, he would get incredibly anxious. He would constantly check the time, praying that you would come back to him soon. He would worry that you would fall in love with someone else, or that they would steal you from him. He would obsess over trying to call you or having one of his men watch you and get jealous of anyone you were speaking to. If you were late coming back, he would call and call, desperate to hear your voice, and leaving you with someone else was out of the question.

His strength, dedication, and determination are what make him a fantastic lover. He is a powerful and fierce beast in the bedroom, yet he also has a sensitive and passionate side. When he is with you, he wants to dominate you, control you, and take you to heights of pleasure that you've never felt before. Yet, he also wants to please you, to explore your body and touch your soul. He is a force of nature, a warrior, and a lover.

If anyone gets too close to you, they may find themselves in a world of pain. He may be sweet and caring towards his darling, but that all flies out the window if you become interested in someone else. He will be jealous, angry, and unforgiving as he will do anything to ensure you stay with him.

He's not shy at showing his love and affection for you, but he doesn't want you to get bored either. He likes to spice things up every once in a while to keep things exciting and unpredictable. This could include surprise date nights, romantic gestures, and even breaking into your house just to show how much he cherishes you. No matter what he does, though, he always wants you to know how much he loves and cares for you.

He's also protective and sweet to his darling. He'll pamper you, spoil you, and show you how much you mean to him. When it comes to your happiness and wellbeing, he'd move heaven and earth. As much as he may seem overly obsessive, he truly loves and cares about you and shows it in his own special way.

While he may seem like a twisted individual, the one thing he can't help but feel is love for you. Although his means may be questionable, every action, every choice he makes is made with your safety, happiness, and love in mind. He may be a yandere, but that doesn't take away his ability to care and love even if it comes down to smothering you.

He also has a side that is more vulnerable, sensitive, and deeply affectionate. His sweet and kind side isn't seen by many, but when it comes to you, he doesn't ever want to hide himself away. He wants you to see the full extent of his love and affection, and he wants to ensure you know how much he cares.

He is also loyal, dedicated, and extremely attentive to you. He wants to be the greatest lover and partner you've ever had and will work hard to be that person. While he's quick to act on and express his possessiveness and protectiveness of you, he's also capable of restraint and showing you how much he cares through more subtle and thoughtful gestures. When it comes to you, he wants to be the best and is willing to put in the effort to ensure he is.

Aside from being very protective and obsessive over you, as a yandere, he can also be quite jealous, possessive, and territorial. He doesn't share his darling with anyone else and will go to extreme lengths to ensure you remain his and his alone. This can include threatening anyone who gets too close to you, monitoring your activities and messages, and becoming controlling in the pursuit of total control.

He may come across as cold and distant toward everyone else, but he's really just hyper-focused on you. Everyone else is pretty much irrelevant to him. Their thoughts and feelings mean nothing to him when compared to you. Anyone that stands in the way of his love will be destroyed, and he won't think twice about it.

He's also willing to adapt his behavior and approach depending on his darling's needs. If you prefer a more subtle and restrained approach, he'll try to reign it in and keep his affection more subdued. However, if you prefer a more active and vocal expression of love, he'll happily oblige and show his love in a more overt way. The most important part of being a yandere is making sure he is true to himself and his feelings, but also ensuring he listens to your needs and wants.

He'll also go out of his way to learn more about what you love and how to make you happy. He'll do everything in his power to find out what makes you tick and how you like to spend your time so he can surprise you and make you feel special. He'll also do his best to support and encourage you, to help you reach your full potential, and see your goals and aspirations come to life.

He's also prone to experiencing extreme emotions, both positive and negative, toward my darling. This can lead to frequent mood swings, from the euphoria of being with you to the depths of desperation and distress if he believes you are in danger or are being unfaithful. His mood depends on how he believes the situation is progressing, but it's not uncommon for him to switch back and forth between these two extremes multiple times throughout the day.

He's also loyal, compassionate, and understanding towards his darling's feelings. He's aware that being overly obsessive or controlling can lead to feelings of resentment or apprehension, so he tries to balance his love and affection with consideration for your thoughts and feelings. He also makes sure that he's doing all this for your own good, not his own, and makes sure that you are the priority in your relationship.

He may seem unpredictable, even chaotic at times. However, when it comes to his love for you, nothing will stand in his way. He may seem possessive and obsessed, but he would do anything for you and the "love " you share. He may not always show his love in "normal" ways, but that only adds to the unique and special love you share together. And while he may occasionally be seen as unhinged, the truth is that he is just a deeply passionate and caring person who craves affection.

"You're mine, darling, and you always will be. You are my world, without you I am nothing. I'm obsessed with you and I worship the ground you walk on. From the moment I discovered you, I knew you were the one for me. And you will be. Forever and always."

[reddest-flower]

The Soviet intervention in Hungary and the Khrushchev revelations produced in Europe a process that led – gradually – to the Eurocommunism of the Communist Party of Spain’s leader Santiago Carrillo, who said, in 1976, ‘once Moscow was our Rome, but no more. Now we acknowledge no guiding centre, no international discipline’. This was a communism that no longer believed in revolution but was quite satisfied with an evolutionary dynamic. The European parties, correct in their desire for the right to develop their own strategies and tactics, nonetheless, threw themselves onto a self-destructive path. Few remained standing after the USSR collapsed in 1991. They campaigned for polycentrism but, in the end, achieved only a return to social democracy.

Amongst the Third World communist parties, a different orientation became clear after 1956. While the Western European parties seemed eager to denigrate the USSR and its contributions, the parties in the Third World acknowledged the importance of the USSR but sought some distance from its political orientation. During their visits to Moscow in the 1960s, champions of ‘African socialism’ such as Modibo Keïta of Mali and Mamadou Dia of Senegal announced the necessity of non-alignment and the importance of nationally developed processes of socialist construction. Marshal Lin Biao spoke of the need for a ‘creative application’ of Marxism in the Chinese context. The young leader of the Indonesian Communist Party – Dipa Nusantara Aidit – moved his party towards a firm grounding in both Marxism-Leninism and the peculiarities of Indonesian history. [...]

In the Third World, where Communism was a dynamic movement, it was not treated as a religion that was incapable of error. ‘Socialism is young’, Che Guevara wrote in 1965, ‘and has its mistakes.’ Socialism required ceaseless criticism in order to strengthen it. Such an attitude was missing in Cold War Europe and North America [...] After 1956, Communism was penalized by the Cold Warriors for the Soviet intervention in Hungary. This played some role in the Third World, but it was not decisive. In India, in 1957 the Communists won an election in Kerala to become the ruling party in that state. In 1959, the Cuban revolution overthrew a dictatorship and adopted Marxism-Leninism as its general theory. In Vietnam, from 1954, the Communists took charge of the north of the country and valiantly fought to liberate the rest of their country. These were communist victories despite the intervention in Hungary.

[...]

Much the same history propelled the Indonesian Communist Party (PKI) forward from 1951, when it had merely 5,000 members, to 1964, when it had two million party members and an additional fifteen million members in its mass organizations (half of them in the Indonesian Peasants’ Front). The party had deep roots in the heavily populated sections of east and central Java but had – in the decade after 1951 – begun to make gains in the outer islands, such as Sumatra. A viciously anti-communist military was unable to stop the growth of the party. The new leadership from the 1953 Party Central Committee meeting were all in their thirties, with the new Secretary General – Aidit – merely thirty-one years old. These communists were committed to mass struggles and to mass campaigns, to building up the party base in rural Indonesia. The Indonesian Peasants’ Front and the Plantation Workers’ Union – both PKI mass organizations – fought against forced labour (romusha) and encouraged land seizures (aksi sepihak). These campaigns became more and more radical. In February 1965, the Plantation Workers’ Union occupied land held by the US Rubber Company in North Sumatra. US Rubber and Goodyear Tires saw this as a direct threat to their interests in Indonesia. Such audacity would not be tolerated. Three multinational oil companies (Caltex, Stanvac and Shell) watched this with alarm. US diplomat George Ball wrote to US National Security Advisor McGeorge Bundy that in ‘the long run’ events in Indonesia such as these land seizures ‘may be more important than South Vietnam’. Ball would know. He oversaw the 1963 coup in South Vietnam against the US ally Ngô Đình Diệm. The West felt it could not stand by as the PKI got more aggressive.

By 1965, the PKI had three million party members – adding a million members in the year. It had emerged as a serious political force in Indonesia, despite the anti-communist military’s attempts to squelch its growth. Membership in its mass organizations went up to 18 million. A strange incident – the killing of three generals in Jakarta – set off a massive campaign, helped along by the CIA and Australian intelligence, to excise the communists from Indonesia. Mass murder was the order of the day. The worst killings were in East Java and in Bali. Colonel Sarwo Edhie’s forces, for instance, trained militia squads to kill communists. ‘We gave them two or three days’ training,’ Sarwo Edhie told journalist John Hughes, ‘then sent them out to kill the communists.’ In East Java, one eyewitness recounted, the prisoners were forced to dig a grave, then ‘one by one, they were beaten with bamboo clubs, their throats slit, and they were pushed into the mass grave’. By the end of the massacre, a million Indonesian men and women of the left were sent to these graves. Many millions more were isolated, without work and friends. Aidit was arrested by Colonel Yasir Hadibroto, brought to Boyolali (in Central Java) and executed. He was 42.

There was no way for the world communist movement to protect their Indonesian comrades. The USSR’s reaction was tepid. The Chinese called it a ‘heinous and diabolical’ crime. But neither the USSR nor China could do anything. The United Nations stayed silent. The PKI had decided to take a path that was without the guns. Its cadre could not defend themselves. They were not able to fight the military and the anti-communist gangs. It was a bloodbath.

[...]

There was little mention in Havana of the Soviet Union. It had slowed down its support for national liberation movements, eager for detente and conciliation with the West by the mid-1960s. In 1963, Aidit had chastised the Soviets, saying, ‘Socialist states are not genuine if they fail to really give assistance to the national liberation struggle’. The reason why parties such as the PKI held fast to ‘Stalin’ was not because they defended the purges or collectivization in the USSR. It was because ‘Stalin’ in the debate around militancy had come to stand in for revolutionary idealism and for the anti-fascist struggle. Aidit had agreed that the Soviets could have any interpretation of Stalin in terms of domestic policy (‘criticize him, remove his remains from the mausoleum, rename Stalingrad’), but other Communist Parties had the right to assess his role on the international level. He was a ‘lighthouse’, Aidit said in 1961, whose work was ‘still useful to Eastern countries’. This was a statement against the conciliation towards imperialism of the Khrushchev era. It was a position shared across many of the Communist Parties of the Third World.

Many Communist parties, frustrated with the pace of change and with the brutality of the attacks on them, would take to the gun in this period – from Peru to the Philippines. The massacre in Indonesia hung heavily on the world communist movement. But this move to the gun had its limitations, for many of these parties would mistake the tactics of armed revolution for a strategy of violence. The violence worked most effectively the other way. The communists were massacred in Indonesia – as we have seen – and they were butchered in Iraq and Sudan, in Central Asia and South America. The image of communists being thrown from helicopters off the coast of Chile is far less known than any cliché about the USSR.

Red Star Over the Third World, Vijay Prashad, 2019

[harvestingsun]

SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 4

This is a massive rant btw. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie

(TW: Bad spelling and not remembering any names 💀)

...

Yh so I'm ranting rn

Like it was good, but not great 🕴️. Does not compare to the first 2, DEFINITELY not the second one, that one was just 🙌🏽 . And u know, that's ok, it's hard to pull a puss in boots and do better than the originals, but still the movie was lack luster

These are my points for why:

1. Plot was SO obvious. As soon as I saw that fox I knew she d be the new dragon warrior, cuz yh. Just obvious. And you know what? I wouldv been fine with that if they developed her character more. Like her bond with po SHOULDV been developed SO MUCH MORE. It felt like their whole dynamic was she was sarcastic and he went 🥺 n that's it. Like, why couldn't they have bonded more on them both being orphans ? How she feels unwanted because the world has rejected her and KEEPS rejecting her, but Po (who has gone thru a very similar thing) can teach her that yes that may be true, but that won't always be the case and once she finds her found family she can feel accepted, just like what happens to Po.

2. The villain and her daughter - so much potential but not enough done for them. Like just. I loved their dynamic, just SO MICH POTENTIAL BUT NOT ENOUGH GIVEN. There was one flashback of them meeting. That's it. There was basically only r4 interactions between them aswell: the betrayal scene, the "I'm using you" scene,the flashback and the final fight. And in NONE of these does it show how strong of a connection they have what about their relationship makes the fox betray Poe for the chameleon??? I wish we had a shi fu and tai lung type flashback where it showed the chameleon raising her and them developing a bond so that we know how hard it is for the fox to go against her orders

3. The villain herself - what motive ? U cannot convince me that "I'm evil because all the kung fu masters rejected me because I was too small" WHEN THERES A SNAKE THE SAME SIZE AS HER AND A F*CKING BUG WHO ARE BOTH AMAZING KUNG FU WARRIORS . like no. Just no. Someone would accepted her. U can't use her size as a reason for her becoming evil, just no. Instead, why not explain her reason being that she was poor/living in the streets ? A large portion of the movie is set around how there's a large group underground who have turned to crime, and poverty is often rampant in cities, so why not use that ? It also allows her to bond more with the fox as they have the same upbringing, but instead the chameleon was never able to get past how no one helped her and everyone rejected her, whilst the fox is able to accept where she is and find ppl who will accept her. Then they could've had a rlly impactful scene in the end where the fox accepts change and wanted the chameleon to change with her because SHE loves her and would fight for her, mother daughter style. Like writing that out just rlly made me think about how much they missed the mark, almost all 3 KFP movies are about father-son bonds, this movie could've had an impactful mother-daughter bond n it blew it 😩. So yh, I don't think the villains motive was fleshed out enough, I just don't think that her being small should have been the main centre for her character. Compare her to all the past villains, her motive is too simple and not developed enough

4. Tai lung and shen. NOT USED ENOUGH. How dare u bring those GODS OF VILLAISN back and not use them properly. And also have Po barely be surprised about them . SHEN IS THE MAN THAT COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE AGAINST UR SPECIES, KILLED UR MOTHER AND LEFT U AN ORPHAN, Y R U NOT SHOCKED OR WORRIED THAT HE S HERE. And on top of that, ain't no what that peacock would simply bow and go " 🙂" and leave. He ain't bowing to Po, why would he respect him ? Shen doesn't CARE about being the dragon warrior, that wasnt his calling or whatever. Like, i could hav accepted it if he at least had a sentence apologizing for his actions, just ANYTHING that explains why he s so calm. I'm not angry that he is calm, I'm angry that it wasn't explained 🕴️(and tbh, I don't even think he needed a redemption arc much. He did horrible stuff, yes he has trauma, doesn't explain his actions. His death was a result of his arrogance and karma for his actions, I just think his character was fine (stressing him as a character was well written) the way it is, of anything this movie and taken away from his character )

And tai lung. Most of his character in this was comedy. And him going from "you are a mistake🙄" to "actually ur not a mistake 😏" within 10 minutes was annoying. I wish there was more interaction between him and Po. Then fighting together, bonding. Have them BOTH grow to move on from the title of dragon warrior together, since that title is such a grand part of both of their identities that they both have had a tough time letting go of. Once again, I'm not angry that he made jokes n was acting goofy (that was fun, I liked that), I'm annoyed that the movie didn't explain or provide context for why he was able to get over his past feelings and beliefs.

I can understand that they died and were able to let go of their actions in their mortal life, i just wish that it was addressed or properly shown. Especially shen, in his last moments he was given the chance to fess up n be good and he still refused. Bro died with u finished business, I would like to see how he came to terms with that or at least hav it b addressed

Overall, the bringing back of the past VILLAISN was fumbled. So much potential, but not used and on top of that it just kinda makes a joke of them and their original actions.

--> quick add on that I just remembered. Where r the five ? Like, I understand that they could've get the actors back or whatever. Ok find. But why not hav the chameleon capture all of them at the start and then they remain captured/past out/in a coma the rest of the movie until they R rescued :/. Like. That's such a better way of writing them out cuz a. It gives Poe even more incentive to want to take down the chameleon B. It makes the chameleon a much more threatening villain, cuz all the chameleon does in this movie is push one dude down some stairs, and then bring back so dead ppl, lick them n put them in a cage 🕴️. I would appreciate more stakes. ALSO PO SHOULDV TALKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE 5 MORE, cuz this guy is a yapper, ain't no way he ain't talking bout them. It couldv once again been a way he bonded with the fox, if both of them had looked up to the 5 or something like that, or maybe even just about how Po can't wait to accept the fox into his found family

ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: wish they developed po and the foxes friendship. I might hav said this b4, I hav bad memory. Just there could've been more bonding , wish there was but alas 😪

5. Poe s trauma ? Now, I'm a psychology student. I love seeing mental health and depth show in movies so I kno I'm being a bit picky. I just wished that we could see more of Poe coming to terms of all the stuff that has happened to him. Or at least referenceing it. I just think that he was way too jokey and light hearted the whole time. Like, there was a scene where fireworks suddenly went off next to him. I wish he flinched or anything like that, since fireworks were such a big thing (almost a trigger) for him in the first movie because of the mass killing of his species by shen. Like, even if he has gotten over it all, it would have been great to have him reference everything he s been through. It could hav been one of the things he bonded over with the fox, how yes, times get tough but you can get thru it if u r supported by the right people

Like tbh I think it wouldv been rlly cool if this movie focused on love :both the healthy and toxic types. Bringing back old villains can reference old baggage , like the toxic love between tai lung and shi fu, and the chameleon and the fox. It could be about breaking those toxic habits and changing to move past them and let the last go. Po couldv acted as the message of that, he could show his surroundings characters how to let go of the past to move on to a better future . Like, after everything he s been through that wouldv been so impactful.

Overall, just a lot of missed potentials in this movie. Still liked it tho. So here are some things I liked.

Visuals: fun visuals . Tho I do think some of the scenery wasn't as memorable as previous movies. Like comparing this villains hideout (wrong word but oh well) to shens, shens is so much more memorable and impactful. Looking at it you feel intimidated. In this movie, not so much. But it was still very pretty and u can tell some hard work went behind it, had some great animations, very smoothe, so yh :)

VIOLA DAVIS AS THE CHAMELEON 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 LOVE HER, LOVE THE VOICE ACTING JUST 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like, the chameleon wasn't fleshed out as much as I'd hoped, but I still love her because I can FEEL that's she could be AMAZING cuz everything else was great except for the lack of backstory. Like I love her power, I love her character design, I love her voice .

The gay dad's 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I loved them. Highlight of the movie for me🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 every scene I saw them I smiled. I just loved them so much, that was so cute, I love how they cared about Po so much AND CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER!! That was so cute. Loved that so much. I would watch an entire movie of them cuz just 🙌🏽🙌🏽 loved them so much.

So yh, that's it. Gonna go rewatch all the other movies now

[xaharadesert]

Part Time Spy MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 3) x MC

A/N: another lovely anon from over a year ago! But we’re making progress! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes :) requests are open!

❤️Julian❤️

He’s torn between admiration and worry

On one hand, being a spy sounds like one of the most fascinating jobs in the world, and he’s sure you’ll have some exciting stories to tell every time you come home

On the other, he knows for a fact that it’s on the most dangerous, and he’s worried you won’t come home at all

He offers to “borrow” some costumes, wigs, and makeup from the community theatre for you

If your target is near home, he may try to pull off some spying of his own despite his inexperience

Luckily you’ll be able to catch him before he puts either of you in any real danger, and he’ll head home after a light scolding

When you do return home, he’ll want to know all the details of the mission

Best not to make it sound too exciting; Julian isn’t a snitch by any means, but sometimes it’s hard not to brag about how amazing you are

If you’re ever hurt during a mission, he insists that you should come to him immediately so he can patch you up

He’s supportive of your occupation, he just hopes you take the necessary precautions to ensure a safe return

He doesn’t know what he would do if you ever went missing during a mission, and he doesn’t want to find out

💙Asra💙

He wants to travel with you for your missions

The problem is that he’s not huge on being discrete; it’s not like he’s the centre of attention, he just makes little to no effort to hide

It might be fine once or twice, but some people may pick up the pattern when he’s always present before information is leaked

Best to keep him at home, or at least out of sight

He won’t try to talk you out of it. He assumes that you knew the risks when you picked the job, and as long as you’re not being forced into it, he has no problems

Admittedly he will go a bit overboard in trying to be supportive out of worry and protectiveness

Charms, potions, and basic spells have become a regular part of your routine before you step even a foot out the door

Even if you could do those things yourself, Asra likes to know that it’s his work helping to keep you safe (not that he doubts your powers)

He tries to be relaxed about mission timelines, but he does get antsy if you’re away for too long, and he has to restrain himself from checking on you because he knows it could mess up your mission

Instead he keeps himself busy with small projects and new ideas to help aid your next mission

💜Nadia💜

Respectfully, this is a pretty big problem for her

While she understands that professions like yours are necessary for exposing corruption in unjust hierarchies and such, it’s also an issue for her public image

Nadia runs Vesuvia with as much transparency as she can reasonably provide, and having someone who specializes in deception at her side can be… tricky

Even if your job is kept a secret from the people, it leaves a bad taste in her mouth when she has you with her in diplomatic meetings

She trusts that you would never betray her, and fully believes that she has nothing to hide anyway, so it’s not an issue of trust in the relationship

It’s simply a question of whether or not it’s ethical or moral for a politician to be in a romantic relationship with someone in the business of espionage

She understands that it’s a monumental request, but she does ask if you’re willing to leave your job behind in order to be with her

If yes, then she’s overjoyed, and does everything she can to help you find a new passion worth pursuing

If no, then she understands, but she will be ending the relationship. She loves you, but she has a duty to her people first and foremost, and she won’t betray them for anyone or anything

[empress-violetlight]

Worlds of the Empire of the Hand: Lysatra

Another of my Empire of the Hand worldbuilding exercises for my fanfic series. Please see its neighbour planet and Hand capital, Nirauan, described here.

We know next to nothing about Lysatra in SW canon, other than it's Eli Vanto's homeworld, and it's in Wild Space, close to the Unknown Regions/The Chaos. Since it is located relatively close to Nirauan on the Galactic map, and because of Eli's connection with Thrawn, it only seemed logical that Lysatra would become a member planet of the Empire of the Hand.

I know it is practically consensus in the fandom that "Wild Space" = "Southern USA", but since that is not canon, I decided to take a different approach.

---------------------------------------

Lysatra

Galactic Map location:  J6 – Wild Space

World type:  Terrestrial planet, 41 060 km equatorial circumference, 1.2 standard (Coruscant) gravity.  Standard nitrogen/oxygen atmosphere.

Solar system:  Orbits Tjindu, a G-yellow orange dwarf main sequence star, approx. 4.9 billion years old, 1.1 standard stellar masses, sole stellar body in the solar system. Third planet from its sun of five (in orbital order): 1 super-heated terrestrial, 2 terrestrial, 1 mini gas planet (aka “mini-Neptune), 1 gas giant, numerous dwarf planets past the gas giant.

Moons:  5 small moons, lifeless, asteroid-like, but orbit in a distinctive “cross” pattern as seen from the planetary surface, which has become a planetary symbol. 

Surface conditions:  Rocky planet with a single supercontinent surrounded by a global ocean. The edges of the continent are usually quite temperate and livable, the interior is usually desert, though there are some mountain ranges and areas of rainforest in the northwestern part of the supercontinent.  Large saltwater ocean covering the rest of the planetary surface, with scattered islands.

Population:  Human-majority population of about 30 million – quite large for a Wild Space planet, and concentrated around the tropical, eastern coast of the continent, and on a temperate, volcanic island archipelago off the eastern coast.

Capital City:  Bercanna

Other population centres:  Canbane

A human-majority planet in the often-ignored region of the Galaxy known as “Wild Space”, the people of Lysatra are known for being tough and practical, not taking any “voidshit”, but rather casual in their manner, though most locals could curse enough to make a Corillian blush.  They are used to routinely dealing with frightening, oversized and often poisonous/venomous wildlife.  For a human-majority Imperial world, they are also quite tolerant of aliens, with a common quote among locals being that nothing that can talk can possibly be as weird as their animals.  They historically had some connection to the Unknown Regions, with the Chiss considered legendary until the two civilizations re-established contact with one another through the Empire of the Hand, and the planet is a local, Wild Space shipping hub.

Lysatra was loyal to the Galactic Empire, as one of the planets whose economy improved with increased access to the rest of the Galaxy, and protection from piracy, while the Empire itself maintained a rather hands-off approach to the planet, letting locals govern themselves as they had been doing before, since there was no Rebel presence whatsoever.  The locally-elected Prime Minister became the Imperial Governor of the planet, the two offices becoming joined.  Most locals could not give half a kriff about Core World politics, not caring whose flag flies on Coruscant, but the Empire did bring some advantages while both the Old and New Republics barely knew their planet existed and cared even less, skewing public opinion to the Empire’s favour.

The idea of an Empire became even more attractive with the rise of the “shadow” Empire of the Hand, based off of Lysatra’s galactic neighbour, Nirauan.  The two star systems maintained close relationships for over a decade, with hundreds of Lysatran citizens taking advantage of the educational and economic opportunities provided by Grand Admiral Thrawn’s effective and fair Empire.  Still, Lysatra would not formally join the Empire of the Hand until 5 ABY (24 AEE), about a year after Emperor Palpatine’s death at Endor, as they wanted to maintain their relationship with the wider Empire and their neighbours, and saw the Empire of the Hand as far more stable compared to the fracturing under warlords that the Empire suffered in the Core to Mid-Rim after the Emperor’s death.

Lysatra’s own planetary parliamentary government was the inspiration for the Empire of the Hand’s parliament, and by 38 AEE (19 ABY), Lysatran citizen and former Imperial officer Eli Vanto would be elected to the office of Prime Minister of the entire Empire of the Hand.  Prime Minister Vanto enjoyed just as good a working, professional relationship with the Head of State, Empress Xelarra, as he had with her husband during his years of Imperial navy service, before Grand Admiral Thrawn's death at the Battle of Bilbringi.

Lysatrans were by far the most represented human population group in the Empire of the Hand, with many alien Hand citizens learning Basic through Lysatran translators and teachers, often adopting their distinctive accent as a result. 

Unfortunately, in 47 AEE (28 ABY) Lysatra would fall to a surprise attack by the Far Outsiders at the beginning of their invasion, though most of the population would be safely evacuated to Nirauan and Adumar, thanks to the efforts of the Interdictor Maelstrom and the ground-level leadership provided by former (by that time), Prime Minister Vanto and a group of elite ground forces (who called themselves the "Sick Cunts").  It is unknown at this time if Lysatra’s ecosystem is recoverable.  Lysatrans would become among the most feared Vong Hunters in the Galaxy, with many joining the Hand Navy, Army and Explorers, itching for the chance to “swat the Mozzies” that had destroyed their home.

Lysatra is known for its strange, sometimes dangerous, always unique wildlife.  Here are some notable examples:

Velociroos:        

Omnivorous, spike-backed bipeds that jump as their main method of locomotion, they look more frightening than they actually are, though a mob of them can be dangerous if they surround a lone traveler in the interior of the supercontinent.  They are actually a favoured food source of the locals.  Like most Lysatran mammals, they are marsupials , and carry their young, called joeys, in a pouch.   

Weekees: 

Small, flightless avians that lay enormous eggs compared to their body sizes.  Native to the southeastern archipelago, one of the few harmless native lifeforms.   

Salties: 

Large, ill-tempered marine reptiles, these flippered beasts never leave the water, though they have no qualms about eating thoughtless swimmers. 

Aoms:

Large, flightless, herbivorous avians, taller than a human, which fill the ecological niches usually filled by mammalian megafauna on other worlds.  There are several different species native to the archipelago, which were almost hunted to extinction when the planet was first settled.  Luckily, a small population survived, and conservation efforts have been so successful, they are now considered pests in part of their range.   

Haasts:

Giant predatory avians strong enough to carry away small Aoms.  As they are used to hunting large bipeds, they will not hesitate to attack humanoid sapients either, though they avoid large settlements.  Precautions in the wild include never travelling alone and having a good stun blaster at your side. 

Whatthes:  (pronounced “what the?”)

Small, teal blue, semi-aquatic, mammalian animals that feature an avian-like bill, lay eggs, and have venomous claws.  Lysatrans often find them rather cute. 

Drop Woks:

Tree-dwelling mammals with a superficial resemblance to the Ewoks of the Forest Moon of Endor, though non-sapient.  They normally eat the leaves of poisonous trees that nothing else can tolerate, but will occasionally drop down onto the heads of animals passing under their trees and attempt to attack their eyes, which will also be eaten if successful.  Wearing cutlery on one’s head can serve as a deterrent (or at least, that’s what the Lysatrans say). 

Too many venomous species of insects, arachnids and reptiles to name here, with even some avians having poisonous feathers. 

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Special thanks to @hydr0phius, my "cultural consultant". This Canuk's grateful!

[timetodiverge]

TL:DR: a brief treatise on learning to love Ahsoka for the gifts it gave us, rather than its shortcomings

Reasons why I struggled to like Ahsoka on first watch:

-my Rebels-fan brain constantly chanting WHERE IS EZRA WHERE IS EZRA WHERE IS EZRA; every episode that ended without him had me screaming

-the portrayal of Ezra as some noble war hero/wise Jedi instead of the little shit devious street urchin thief who, after four seasons of growth, pain, and temptation to turn darkside, turned into an IGnoble war hero with the potential to become a wise Jedi

-the show's habit of far-too-casually dropping facts that emotionally wrecked Rebels fans (ALL the Wrens died on Mandalore?? Could we maybe explore that a bit?? Dave do you remember when you had Sabine collapse into what she thought were her mother's ashes, and the depth of her relief when she realised her family was still alive and she still had a chance to make things right with them?? DO YOU???)

-the show's refusal to recap/reference insanely important events from Rebels and The Clone Wars (Mortis Gods, Trials of the Darksaber, Vader v Ahsoka and Ezra rescuing her via the World Between Worlds, Ahsoka's entire existence, etc) that would have made Ahsoka, Sabine, & Hera's importance in the larger Star Wars universe much more comprehendible for non-Rebels & TCW fans

-watching Sabine, who only ever wanted to be a valued, equal member of a family & team, and who was already incredibly skilled (art/warfare/mechanics), belittling and limiting herself trying to play the part of Jedi Padawan

-the wasted potential of show that could have truly explored how non-Jedi&Sith engage with the whole spectrum of the Force (e.g. other force users such as Nightsisters, loth wolves, purrgil, and non-force-sensative people such as Sabine), instead ultimately championing the light-dark binary and the traditions of the Jedi order (which many of us have little respect for) such as the Master-Apprentice relationship

Reasons why I now adore Ahsoka and would defend it to the death:

-the breath-taking care, love, and attention the production team put into every tiny detail (the sets, the costumes, props, the MUSIC, the background art, the ships and weapons, my god the detail!!)

-the shameless centring of diverse, layered female characters and the exquisite, subtle performances of Mary Elizabeth Winstead & Genevieve O'Reilly

-a mature exploration of how traumatic events e.g. wars may technically "end", but don't end for everyone: Ahsoka and Sabine are still traumatised ex-child soldiers mourning people they desperately loved but had complex & unresolved issues with; Hera still has zero boundaries between being a soldier and her personal life. And this PTSD has very real consequences to the narrative

-the show ultimately resisting the urge to choose a plot-twist Ezra reveal (e.g. turns out Thrawn and Ezra are now buddies/Ezra is the new big bad/Ezra was Marrok), which may have been more interesting but would have deprived us of the wholesome Ezra reveal we actually wanted

-Eman Esfandi giving us the most successful animation-to-live-action transition since Katee Sackhoff's Bo-Katan, and being so perfect in his mannerisms and behaviour that it was almost worth the wait (and looking so much like Ezra's father in Rebels!!)

(...unless you include Chopper, whose transition was actually 120% perfect)

-ultimately refreshing and levelling-up the potential for mature and diverse Star Wars narratives, like Andor did, but instead of leaning away from SW tropes and traditions like Andor, digging deeper into SW tropes and history, and linking non-mainstream-SW-elements such as the Nightsisters of Dathomir, the Mortis Gods, the World Between Worlds, and the existence of other galaxies