#but if you want to swap father and son for mentor and mentee

[olympeline]

I was thinking about Arthur and Alfred’s relationship and it suddenly hit me: there’s potentially a really good interpretation to be had of the American War for Independence as the end result of the disconnect between a first generation immigrant parent and their second generation child. And how perfect is that with Arthur - literally a personification of the old world - and Alfred - literally the personification of America: the world’s great melting pot. I got excited thinking about it and it turned into an essay so please enjoy my ramblings 🥲

The disconnect I mentioned above is a well known problem between different generations of immigrants. An estrangement which can cause a lot of angst because both sides are trying to understand each other but can’t connect because their lived experiences are so different. The parent remembers the trials of the “old country” and sees their kid as a self-centred brat who wouldn’t know real hardship if it bit them. Meanwhile the child - through no fault of their own - has only ever known the new, better life and resents the guilt tripping over something they had zero control over. You know the classic: “When I was your age/you wouldn’t have lasted a day where I grew up/you’re so spoilt, etc.” from the parent. Answered with: “It’s not my fault I don’t know/how could I feel it like you do when I was never there/you chose to come here and have me here/do you want me to spend my whole life feeling guilty because you sacrificed for me, etc.” from the kid.

In the context of Hetalia it works because by the time Alfred gets to know Arthur he’s become a founder of colonies. But in Arthur’s past he was a colony, several times over in fact. Specifically an exploitation colony under Grandpa Rome (who wanted Britain for its large resources of tin because tin - a rare metal in Europe - is a key ingredient in making bronze), then scattered soft-settler colonies under Denmark (who started by raiding Britain for plunder and slaves but then established settlements later on because the climate was better for farming), then an exploitation colony that gradually morphed into a settler colony, that then merged with the native culture, under the Norman-French William the Conqueror.

Arthur became Alfred’s guardian but first and foremost Alfred was his colony. And Arthur’s experience with colonies was the above. So not a great model for parenting to put it mildly. Particularly the last one, which would have been freshest in Arthur’s memory. Harrying of the North. 😬 Enough said. It probably gave Arthur a very skewed view of what would constitute being a “good” parent to Alfred. Arthur left Alfred alone and expected total obedience from him for the rest of his life but, to Arthur, that was still treating Alfred with kid gloves. Just because he didn’t do things like sweep in and murder Alfred’s citizens en masse when they displeased him. Arthur drew on his own experiences and likely saw Alfred as incredibly spoilt and even outright pampered. Obviously he wasn’t, not at all, but the bar was on the friggin’ floor. It must have come as a big shock when Alfred rebelled because - in Arthur’s mind - he did everything right. More than right: he went above and beyond indulging his young charge. Treating Alfred like a son instead of ordering him around as a minion. I think that’s why Arthur broke down and sobbed on the battlefield. Angry tears of frustration and hopelessness because on top of the pain of Alfred’s “betrayal” there’s something worse: even at that critical point, in his heart of hearts I bet Arthur still didn’t understand why the war happened. Why his beloved, coddled son has turned on him like the viper at the farmer’s breast. It’s one thing to fight with someone you love because you know you’ve wronged them. It’s quite another to think you gave nothing but good only to have them turn on you anyway. Arthur is tough and used to hurt but the hopelessness and despair birthed from that terrible ignorance nearly killed him. It would be a long time before he opened his heart to anyone again.

But Alfred didn’t see it that way. Not at all. He wasn’t around for the colonial period of Arthur’s life and Arthur being…himself, likely never told him. Out of pride, trauma, pain, the shame of being conquered, etc. He kept his days of weakness a secret. So Alfred had no conception that Arthur was genuinely trying (and thought he was succeeding) in being a good and devoted parent. Which wasn’t Alfred’s fault or responsibility at all, by the way. I don’t want anyone to think this post is saying Alfred was wrong to rebel when he did. It was a totally justified reaction considering what Arthur put him through. Arthur hurt Alfred out of ignorance rather than malice but that doesnt erase the hurt. Especially from the point of view of a child. Alfred was just a scared, confused little boy who was left alone over and over again in a big, frightening world. Left to watch the human families around him love and support each other while he pined for Arthur to please, please come back and not leave him alone again. No wonder he grew up resentful at Arthur’s continuing expectations of total obedience. How dare Arthur demand so much when Alfred grew up on so little. Arthur had good intentions but they didn’t always bear fruit, which meant a lot of sadness and fear for little Alfred. At some point all those years of simmering pain and resentment bubbled over and Alfred just snapped. He realised nothing would ever change unless he forced a change and broke away from Arthur before the leaden weight of Arthur’s trauma and expectations drove him mad.

And that’s the root and lynchpin of all their issues right there: both see the other as selfish and entitled. Arthur because Alfred had a youth Arthur’s abused child self could only dream of. And Alfred because Arthur unconsciously expected him to live his whole life in the shadow of that pain.

Which is why it’s so tragic. Both of them have a point, both of them are wrong and right at the same time. No matter what Alfred thought, Arthur did genuinely do his best to give him the best life he could. He just fell short because he didn’t know what he was doing and his basis for comparison was abysmal. And no matter what Arthur thought, Alfred was never a spoilt brat who had everything but didn’t appreciate it because he grew up overindulged. Alfred was right to feel neglected, terribly hurt, and frustrated when Arthur brushed off his pain and expected Alfred to suck it up and be demure and grateful because he (Arthur) had it worse when he was young.

Doubly sad because if they’d just talked about it things could have been different. I’ve always seen Alfred as having a big heart underneath all his flippancy and boasting. Meanwhile Arthur is stubborn and a tsundere but he’s not an idiot and not incapable of change and self-improvement. And, like I said, he did truly want to do well by Alfred. Who truly wanted a good relationship with him in return. If they’d discussed all their issues it would have been a long hard road but, at the end of it, their relationship might have improved and not gone up in flames the way it did. But they didn’t and Arthur’s flat, uncompromising orders about taxation without representation was the straw that finally broke America’s back.

[dgcatanisiri]

I’ve said a few times, I’d sooner have had Felix as a companion over Dorian, on the basis of how Felix has a better claim to being capable of becoming “the Redeemer” of Tevinter society - he is already an outsider to Tevinter culture, considering that he’s the son of a Magister who has minimal magical gifts - Worlds of Thedas says that his grandfather tried to assassinate him for this. Meaning this is someone who has always been on the outside of the dominant culture of Tevinter society. 

Now, if you’ve been on my blog for any length of time, you have probably seen me talk about the difference of queer focus versus queer relevance. Long version is here, short version is that queer focus orients the story on the struggles of being queer, while queer relevance orients the story on something that is relatable across the board, but ends up having resonance for the queer people. 

My go-to example is something like Cullen’s addiction - addiction is something that hits anyone, queer or not. But because of the culture of queer spaces, where our safe spaces are bars and clubs, places where developing these habits is significantly easier, the story of breaking the addiction has queer relevance. 

Or some time ago, I looked at how Cole is pulled between being more spirit-like or being more human-like, and felt that it kinda read like a trans metaphor, of Solas pushing him to be like he had always been, the way that Solas was more comfortable with him, even if Cole had changed from that, or Varric encouraging Cole to explore the person he was becoming, even if that meant he could never go back to who he was before. 

Or, going away from Dragon Age, the Star Trek Deep Space Nine episode Rejoined featured a romance between two women. Now, these women both also carried the memories and personalities of two people who were married. Because Star Trek. In their society, the Reassociation is taboo (so it gets the capital letter treatment), because their people encourage each new life to separate itself and be distinct from the prior lives - Reassociation is so taboo to their people, they are threatened with expulsion from their society if they go ahead and take up the relationship again. It’s not taboo because of it being two women, but the metaphor is obvious because of how it IS, and yet the story doesn’t linger on that fact, all the concern is wrapped up in the natural reactions of the characters involved, how it impacts the characters in universe, letting the audience connect the dots and apply their own awareness.

So, going back to Dragon Age and Felix in particular... There’s that same relevance in him, because he can’t be what his culture says he should be. He has the same position as Dorian in Tevinter society, but for different reasons - he’s the son of a Magister, but he has barely any magic. So that kills almost any chance for him to provide that contribution to the distillation of “the perfect mage.” 

And yet... Since here we have the loving father proceed to accept him regardless, it demands a different story, while still allowing that perspective - Felix can talk about how Tevinter society said that Alexius should have disowned him and had another heir, but Alexius didn’t, choosing to love and accept his son as he is rather than try to force him to be what he is not or abandon him for being what he is. Now it’s not a queer focus, centered on the pain of a queer person, it’s a story where the queer character (since I’m saying swap Dorian for Felix, I’d want Felix as a gay romance) was accepted. 

Considering how awkwardly shoved in the homophobia of Dorian’s story is when we’re three games into the franchise and only being introduced here - because Fenris, the escaped Tevinter slave, SURELY should have mentioned that the nobility of Tevinter don’t approve when male Hawke (new nobility in Kirkwall) romances him, or brought it up against Anders, who romanticizes the fuck out of Tevinter. The few other instances of homophobia in the games could be passed off more as formed from out-of-universe reasons, that the writers still live in a homophobic society, and so are still using that lens - that’s certainly how I was looking at them until Dorian’s story came along. 

Like I saw it the same as all the sexism in the games - they pay a lot of lip service to Thedas being without it, that women are accepted in the armies and leadership, that their Jesus-figure is a woman (and more Joan of Arc-y, but she’s not the center of the IRL religion...), the priesthood is all about women, barring men from higher positions... And yet there’s still a LOT of patriarchal structure, the focus on kings and bloodlines through the son, and, y’know, wouldn’t a society that both worships a woman AND prizes dogs NOT use ‘bitch’ as a gendered slur? You can’t get away from the biases of the society you the writer are writing these things in. You can try, but things slip through the cracks. And that’s legit how I saw any nugget of homophobia in the game as well, as a societal bias of the writers.

Dorian’s story made that impossible. It said that there was genuine homophobia in this society. And it said that this place that I’d seen homosexuality as being a difference that made no difference was no longer that safe space. And I don’t know about anyone else, but I find offering places of safety and acceptance for queer people more important than reemphasizing how damaging homophobia/queerphobia is.

Because I need queer narratives that AREN’T focused on queer pain. Because I can get that anywhere else, I need my power fantasies far, FAR more. Give me queer people who are unquestionably accepted. I’ll take the metaphors, the stories that have the obvious subtext, BUT are grounded within their universe.

So instead of this being an anvil of “my family can’t accept my queerness!” it’s just part of Felix’s character. Because we have Alexius as the character willing to let the world burn to save his son. Hell, I think it would have been GREAT to get Felix’s response to Alexius’s judgment at Skyhold instead of Dorian - it’s not just the mentor figure who has fallen from grace, it’s the father who would have killed everyone for the chance to save you. How do you respond to that?

Felix was better poised to be “the Redeemer” than Dorian was. And he had a queer relevant story without it being queer focus, Make Felix our companion (meaning that we’d probably need a new mage companion for the sake of balance and all, which means probably also changing up at least one other character’s class and story, but since they’re not going to remake the game, this is all academic anyway, so the character element is all that I’m looking at here), have Dorian as like a brother or still the mentee figure, maybe graft the sickness over to him instead of Felix (or build a questline around helping Felix recover). 

And then Felix can speak of Tevinter with the luster worn off, because he’s spent his life seeing the faults of the society, the rot at its core, rather than just having had his eyes opened because Tevinter’s ills have finally reached him - they were always impacting him. He had family members try to kill him because he couldn’t be what they wanted. He’s only able to enjoy what he does because his father refuses to shut him out, something that surely has closed doors for Alexius, maybe even drew him to the Venatori before the sickness.

Felix is a better candidate to be “the Redeemer.” He’s experienced Tevinter’s ills more blatantly and more frequently than Dorian has. Felix should have been the companion over Dorian.

[kevancoles]

With A Twist is live!

Love, Served With a Twist

Brigham Vaughn and I are so excited to share “With a Twist”!

As we wrote Wake and Calm, we fell in love with many of the supporting characters. “The Speakeasy” series brings us Will, Jesse, Kyle, and Malcolm, plus Riley and Carter, and a whole new cast of guys to fall in love with.

With a Twist

Blurb:

Nursing a broken heart when his ex-boyfriend, Riley, leaves him for the love of his life, Carter, Will Martin throws himself into teaching at NYU and writing. An invite from Riley to a speakeasy called Under helps Will begin to heal, and he finds himself enjoying both the drinks and the company.

Soon after, he’s shaken by news of his father’s cancer diagnosis and Will reluctantly returns to Long Island to see the man who disowned him after he was outed.

Sparks fly when Will meets his father’s mentee, Republican Senator David Mori, who is both mixed race and openly gay. Will is looking for a no-strings-attached fling and David is leery of getting involved with his mentor’s son, so they keep their affair a secret.

As his father’s health worsens, Will elects to remain in Garden City and his relationship with David grows beyond casual sex. Now, both men must decide how to bridge the divide between them.

Excerpt:

David did his best not to stare at William Jr. as they shook hands, but he nearly flinched away from the odd tingling sensation he felt where their skins met.

He’d seen photos of William Jr.—no, Will—around the Martin’s home, but they depicted a sweet-faced boy growing from toddlerhood into his late teens. Fully adult Will was, as David’s sister would say, stupidly attractive. He’d inherited both parents’ good looks, including Bill’s athletic physique and Agnes’ regal bone structure.

Tall and rangy, Will appeared lean beneath his gray Henley and dark jeans. He had a square jaw and the artfully styled brown hair his mother had spoken of so fondly. His large blue-grey eyes were almost dazed. He was checking David out—ogling him, really—and to say this surprised David was an almost comic understatement.

Where the hell is this coming from?

Bill and Agnes had talked at length about their children during his last visit, detailing educations and careers, and expressing affection for Olivia’s children and pride in Will’s accomplishments. They hadn’t mentioned their son being gay or bi, though, nor had anyone in the Senator’s social circles.

David dropped Will’s hand. “All right if I come in?” He gestured at the briefcase slung over his shoulder and tried another smile. “I need to unpack the docs and organize them a bit—shouldn’t take me more than a minute,” he added, keeping his tone even in the face of Will’s wide-eyed stare. “I have a card from the Senator’s staff and a few others signed by his colleagues, too.”

The tips of Will’s ears turned pink and he immediately backed away from the door, gesturing for David to follow. “Of course, yes, come in. I expected a delivery man or one of the neighbors and not…well, not someone like you.”

David quirked a brow and stepped into the foyer. “Someone like me?”

“Someone from my father’s office.” Will shrugged and shut the door. His features were pinched when he turned back to David. “I suppose it’s too much to expect him to wait a few days after major surgery before he starts back at it again, but how can he when you people enable him?”

Well, shit. David wanted to escort himself right back out of the door. Of course, Bill’s family would be feeling protective of him right now—he was fortunate to be alive. In the meantime, his son had definitely regained his composure and decided to focus his irritation on David.

“He’s barely been home twenty-four hours—how did you even know he’d come home?”

David didn’t bother correcting Will’s mistaking him for a member of Bill’s staff. “Agnes messaged me yesterday evening,” he replied gently and licked his lips at the surprise streaking across Will’s face. “I asked her to keep me updated on your father’s surgery, and we’ve been swapping messages since your parents drove to Philly.”

“You text message with my mother?”

“Just about Bill,” David assured. “Your parents have no idea I planned to come by today. Bill didn’t ask for these files. I used them and the cards as an excuse to stop by to see how he’s doing in person.” He watched the tension in Will’s face ease. “So, how is he? Doing, I mean.”

“He’s fine.”

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