#that sounds even stupider than the system we have now = it will happen trust me bro

[kraniumet]

people obsessed with the idea of AI “taking over every field of work”, leading to creating some kind of dystopian future where “humans are made redundant” have as much faith in infinite shrinkflation and jevon’s paradox as any delusional ceo

[euno11a]

Tattooed Hearts VII

Genre: No one to someone Tattoo artist! Jungkook X Reader

Summary: What happened to us? Why did we end up like this? It was only a one time thing. Now it’s ruined us both.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, mentions of hookups, insults, arguing, blood, mentions of period, insecurities

Pt I • Pt II • Pt III • Pt IV • Pt V • Pt VI • Pt VIII *** God, she was meant to be a quick fuck and leave. Why couldn’t I get her out of my mind? I need her…

It was stupid of me to get drunk, and even stupider that I went to her apartment. She didn’t want me there, but she looked so cute in her pjs, I couldn’t help staying. I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t move, how’d you think I got there? It was a good excuse, even if she didn’t know it, to get her to touch me again. Her touch was intoxicating, something my body craved, yearned for, but I fucked it up. Ever heard the saying ‘drunk words are sober thoughts?’ “M’missed you…you looked s-so good in that long thing you were wearing in the flower home…”; “Baby, I know what I’m saying…miss you…miss your pussy…miss your love…”; “So pretty…su..such a good girl…my baby…” Even if some thought are more vulgar than others, they’re still true. Showing up drunk probably proved her point of how reckless and selfish I am, but you don’t know how much I miss you. I couldn’t get you out of my head, your curves, your eyes, your laugh…I need you beside me.

Playing limp body was fun, I got to hold her leg, cuddle up to her and even kiss her a little. So I have to pretend to be drunk all the time? No, no, bad idea! You’re trying to prove to her that you need her and only her. It was supposed to be a romantic gesture of some kind, but it failed…miserably. What happened to me? Every time I see her now, talking with Eloise, laughing with V, something burns inside of me. It’s an emptiness that I can’t explain, eating me from the inside out. Using other women to try and fill the hole was a shitty idea, especially since she found me with one. I think I get somewhere with her, but then I fuck it up again. She kicked me out of her apartment, “Stop coming to me when you’re high.” That one sentence haunting my mind, making me lose sleep at night. I fucked it up so bad, I need to earn her trust again, I can’t breathe without her. She doesn’t know the things she does to me, making me spend hours in my office, fucking my hand imagining it was her. My blood boils every time I see her with V, she laughs at his jokes, he gave her juice. He gave her the juice I bought for her, waiting for her to come back! Of course I had to lie to the others, saying I mixed up the flavours, no way I was telling them about the girl I was pinning over that I was also waiting for to return. God, I was whipped…

You were hard to find. I had to dig through the fucking system at work to figure out how to contact you. I swear, I wasn’t trying to be a creep, I just knew you wouldn’t willingly give me your number! And I doubt Lindsay would give it to me either. You sounded so sweet over the phone…your voice was like honey, something I’d be willing to drown in if it came from you. Yeah, you hung up on me, but I got to talk to you for a little! I’d call that a win. Another win was when you took the bouquet…I knew you’d like them. You always told me how you loved secret stories behind things, even if I could T give them to you, I’m glad Eloise could. Building that bouquet was hard! I wanted to take all the flowers you liked, but that wasn’t allowed. If I had a dime for the amount of times Eloise slapped my hand and told me to express my emotions through the flowers instead of pick what was prettiest, I’d be a millionaire. All those flowers that were strategically placed to tell you a story were working. After work, I’d come in to ask Eloise if you’d stopped by, gladly listening to her as she told me about your sweet smile and laugh, the way your nose scrunched up when you found a new flower and wanted to know what it signified. All of this will be worth it in the long run. Seeing you at the bar alone, sipping your rum and coke made me smile. The drink you ordered the first time we met. Sitting down, I expected you to leave or to tell me to leave. But you didn’t. Sure, you put up a fight, telling me to spit out what I wanted, so you could be alone and drink in peace but I wasn’t expecting you to listen. “I want you,” it just slipped out. But it sent shockwaves through me when you spoke “If you want me…like genuinely want me, you have to beg for it.” I had never been one for begging, but if that’s what it takes to have you in my life, I will beg for hours and hours, days, weeks, months. I need you in my life.

Taglist: @talyaaas-blog @cassies-cookies @junecat18@jk97bam @bluewarmsunshine @diame93 @bangtans-momma @lil0u0 @borahoe @peterstarkchrishiddleston @telepathytae @apobangpo444 @gimeow @taekritimin123 @butterymin @skzthinker @someone-1997 @kookswifesblog @jjk-1999 @bulubulubulublabla @xo79 @thesmutconnoisseur @nikkinik485 @coldcoffee2121 @jjk97091 @onlybunss @kopiosuam @nanmolla @peachtown @kopiosuam

[imitationgame77]

Twice, Mensah melts Murderbot

Murderbot is a very private person, often struggles to keep its emotions under control. Even though Murderbot is often blunt, sometimes even a bit rude to the humans, it is generally keeping its emotional expressions under control.

It can be openly rude to two - Gurathin and ART.

Gurathin was probably the first (augmented) human to whom Murderbot could openly express strong disapproval since it disabled the governor module (I don't like you; Fuck you)

ART is the receiving end of various expletives in Network Effect. (Because it is Murderbot's friend and not its client)

Mensah, on the other hand, is the only person that seems to be able to melt Murderbot's metaphorical heart, and gives it a sense of vulnerability. Because she understands it as a person - as only friends on the same wavelength can.

------------------------------------------

All Systems Red

I muted my feed and the comm, and she said, “I know you’re more comfortable with keeping your helmet opaque, but the situation has changed. We need to see you.”

I didn’t want to do it. Now more than ever. They knew too much about me. But I needed them to trust me so I could keep them alive and keep doing my job. The good version of my job, not the half-assed version of my job that I’d been doing before things started trying to kill my clients. I still didn’t want to do it. “It’s usually better if humans think of me as a robot,” I said.

“Maybe, under normal circumstances.” She was looking a little off to one side, not trying to make eye contact, which I appreciated. “But this situation is different. It would be better if they could think of you as a person who is trying to help. Because that’s how I think of you.”

My insides melted. That’s the only way I could describe it. After a minute, when I had my expression under control, I cleared the face plate and had it and the helmet fold back into my armor.

Wells, Martha. All Systems Red (Kindle Single): The Murderbot Diaries (English Edition) (pp.103-104).

-----------------------------

Exit Strategy

Huh, why did I like Sanctuary Moon so much? I had to pull the memory from my archive, and what I saw there startled me. “It’s the first one I saw. When I hacked my governor module and picked up the entertainment feed. It made me feel like a person.” Yeah, that last part shouldn’t have come out, but with all the security-feed monitoring I was doing, I was losing control of my output. I closed my archive. I really needed to get around to setting that one-second delay on my mouth.

[...]

She said instead, “Why did it make you feel that way?”

“I don’t know.” That was true. But pulling the archived memory had brought it back, vividly, as if it had all just happened. (Stupid human neural tissue does that.) The words kept wanting to come out. It gave me context for the emotions I was feeling, I managed not to say. “It kept me company without…”

“Without making you interact?” she suggested.

That she understood even that much made me melt. I hate that this happens, it makes me feel vulnerable. Maybe that was why I had been nervous about meeting Mensah again, and not all the other dumb reasons I had come up with. I hadn’t been afraid that she wasn’t my friend, I had been afraid that she was, and what it did to me.

Wells, Martha. Exit Strategy: The Murderbot Diaries (pp.115-116)

--------------------------------------------

I don't wish to sound like Anne Shirley, but both Dr. Mensah and ART are kindred spirits (or something like soulmates) to Murderbot, but in different ways.

ART 'gets' Murderbot's thought/action processes and tendencies perfectly, and also comes to understand its emotion reactions since they shared long hours of media viewing where ART learned to process subjective emotions through Murderbot's reactions. ART is more likely to challenge Murderbot when it notes unproductive thought processes, or gets Murderbot to express it to make it understand its own thoughts.

Dr. Mensah, in contrast, is a highly empathetic and intelligent person, and she instintively understands Murderbot. Her high intellectual and emotional intelligence made her the planetary leader, loved and admired by many. She expresses her understanding of Murderbot, which is often accurate and makes it feel vulnerable, but not in a bad way. It feels being understood.

It is very touching the way Murderbot can be vulnerable in her presence and trusts her completely. HelpMe.file reveals that how it has come to unlearn its instinctive response to use violence in order to eliminate threat by trusting her.

Murderbot likes PresAux people, and calls Ratthi its friend, but it is clear to readers that Dr. Mensah is a very special person to it. And Murderbot is also a special person to Dr. Mensah that she can trust with her life.

It melts ME whenever I read them interact.

Amena seems to have inherited some of her second mother's emotinal intelligence. Hope she appears in the future again. I liked the way the relationship between her and Murderbot developed in Network Effect.

[charmwasjess]

Sifo-Dyas Wasn’t Supposed to Die: or The Worst Theory Ever 

“All the things you should have stopped, but you didn’t, and nothing will ever be right again. And the things you’ve done,” he whispered. “By the pitiless stars, the things you’ve done…” -Dooku (on Dooku), Yoda: Dark Rendezvous by Sean Stewart

Theory: Dooku killed Sifo-Dyas not because it was planned, but to stop Sidious chucking his former best friend alive into a Jedi-torturing cave to use him as a vision-powered early warning system for his prequel era plots. (A horrible detail not of my own invention, but the exact fate Yoda sees happening to Sifo-Dyas in the Clone Wars episode where he has that Sidious-created vision.)

Anyway, STRAP IN FOR MY WORST IDEA EVER. I hear you. I hear you. Oh Jess, does your Dooku apologist garbage know no limits?! But I’m not giving Dooku a pass here, even if this is a somewhat more palatable version of events than Dooku just killing Sifo-Dyas because Sidious said so, depending on your interpretation of palatable. I realize this sounds like a stretch, but I hope I have convincing-enough evidence to back up my claims and show my work. I really believe that some things which make utterly no sense in the whole Dooku Murders Sifo-Dyas to Take Over the Clone Plot story arc suddenly become actually reasonable, or at least more clear, if you look at it all through the lens of this possibility.

Killing Sifo-Dyas Makes No Sense (for anybody)

Let’s be real: Sifo-Dyas’s murder fucking sucks, and this is even by Dooku’s admittedly poor murder standards. It’s both bad and stupid; you push even lightly on the plan with logic and it falls apart. 

For some reason, instead of killing this important person who could ruin all his plans himself, Dooku hires some criminals he doesn’t even trust (apparently for good reason, as they turn around and keep evidence to blackmail him) to do the job. The logistics of this are further complicated and stupid: Sifo-Dyas isn’t even supposed to be where he ends up getting killed; he’s unexpectedly off on a different side mission from the mission he’s originally on. That would imply that this was something of a crime of opportunity, instead of something Dooku spent a long time meticulously planning - something of a relief, since Dooku would have to be trying to do a worse job at this. There’s even a civilian witness to the attack who, of course, survives. 

Miraculously, the crash does manage to kill Sifo-Dyas (perhaps the only successful part of the whole fucking plot) but then, they move his corpse, so if this is a whole “stage a believable crash death to hide the murder element and buy time for the Clone Wars plot” thing, it’s missing a pretty key component. Then they further fuck that up by forgetting to take his very distinctive lightsaber out of the crash site, definitely linking Sifo-Dyas to whatever happened there. As a cherry on top of this disastrous murder sundae, Dooku then can’t resist Jedi Funeral burning Sifo’s body, in front of a bunch of fucking witnesses no less. He probably uglycried in front of them too, but now this is just my speculation.

But even if the murder was perfectly executed, WHICH IT WASN'T, killing Sifo-Dyas creates a tangible link back to Dooku, from the physical evidence to the established association between the characters - a trail of breadcrumbs Anakin and Obi-Wan are easily able to follow back as is explored in the Clone Wars “Lost One” episode. And Dooku knows better; he used to be a Jedi who helped with Jedi death investigations, as we see in Tales. Killing Sifo-Dyas opens up a whole host of “whys” and extra attention at a time when the Sith need what happened on Kamino to stay very quiet. 

And why murder someone who is already actively working with you? Especially when Sifo-Dyas needs the clones to stay secret too? Dooku seems already to have had everything he needed in terms of access to the Kaminoans, as he’s able to successfully pull off the plan without Sifo-Dyas after his death. He’s also the one with the money, he’s got the connection to Jango; he could have easily gone behind his back. And furthermore, Sifo-Dyas trusted him - seemingly a large narrative reason for bothering to detail their long friendship and history of trying to change vision outcomes. Books like Dooku: Jedi Lost do a lot of work to establish that Sifo-Dyas could have had reason to go to Dooku in good faith and expect him to listen. 

Keeping Sifo-Dyas Alive Makes Sense (for Sidious)

This idea about the Sith Torture cave is not my random invention. Sidious uses a vision of Sifo-Dyas trapped for 12 years in a Jedi-torturing cave to fuck with Yoda – and let’s be real, probably also Dooku, who does not look like he’s having a good time in this episode. In fact, Sidious used Dooku’s blood as a ritual component to CREATE the vision. (There being enough love/bond/connection left in Dooku’s blood to use it to attack Yoda after he’s been a Sith for 12 years is probably another horrible post.) But this seems to establish the alternative cave scenario for Sifo-Dyas as something that both Sidious and Dooku have at least thought about, and are still thinking about, years after his death, and powerfully enough to weave it into a vision.

And can you imagine how interested Sidious is in Sifo-Dyas’s powers, especially if they’re offering spoiler trailers for all of his favorite plans? He is very interested in prophecy, the future, and arguably uses some of those aspects in his manipulation of Anakin. Sifo-Dyas represents both a great threat and a great opportunity to a Sith Lord whose multi-tentacle plans are endlessly convoluted, and by their very nature require multiple contingency plans. How advantageous to have someone around whose one weird power is seeing alternative possible futures?

Keeping Sifo-Dyas alive but captive removes the only other person who knows the exact details about the Clone plot while preserving something potentially very valuable to Sidious. And there’s a further positive: a problem with the whole secret weapon clone army situation is that they need to be revealed at the pivotal moment in the new war. Someone trusted needs to tell the Jedi Council about the Clone Army and convince them to use them in the crisis. Who better to do this than producing beloved, missing Master Sifo-Dyas (who ten years of torture in a Sith cave has made very cooperative and corrupted indeed) to reveal the army to the Republic? 

In Conclusion

But... Sifo-Dyas was his best friend, once, and Dooku chokes. Sentimentality, if not outright lingering love, is a flaw for Dooku as a Sith, and one he trips over repeatedly throughout his atrocities. And we can’t confuse this with actual valor. He doesn’t try to save Sifo-Dyas, only give him a less insanely brutal fate. He orders his death, and it’s a sloppy rush job for all the reasons you might expect from a sudden change of plan, and possibly, the need to kill him before Sidious figured out what he was actually doing. This might even explain him using a third party to do the job: he has plausible deniability to say “well, I ordered them to capture him, but they fucked it up.” Which of course, they did. 

Bonus Round

This theory would also explain two lingering clues we have about Sifo-Dyas’s death involving the behavior of the two guilty participants around the topic:

Dooku

Dooku is really putting the “lie” in “unreliable narrator” during this era, so it can be difficult (and perhaps foolish) to look too deeply into his reactions. But I think it’s fair to say that Dooku acts “pretty fucking weird” about Sifo-Dyas’s death.

In the Lost One episode, he makes an impassioned appeal to Obi-Wan about joining him (a favorite topic of Dooku’s), claiming that Sifo-Dyas understood what he was doing and worked with him willingly. This conversation is only taking place because they caught Dooku in the literal fucking act of covering up evidence of Sifo-Dyas’s murder. It’s not like anyone is unclear about what they’re doing here. Dooku knows. Obi-Wan and Anakin know. Dooku knows that they know. And yet, he still, seemingly genuinely, wants to tell them that Sifo-Dyas sought him out and worked with him. “Join me, just like this guy I ended up murdering” is not a great argument, and Dooku has to know that. So what is the source of his doublethink on this topic? What’s the detail he’s holding onto that’s letting him keep his elaborate palace of denial intact here?

In Tales of the Jedi, Dooku makes an unclear, brief, stammering mention of Sifo-Dyas in the list of the things he’s done for Sidious, and yet killing Yaddle outright is an obvious difficult struggle for him, and narratively shown as a clear before/after moment for Dooku’s fall. The Sith ghost version of Dooku in the Yoda comic outright calls her his first kill. (Lol, Ramil Serenno would like a word.) But you’d think murdering his former best friend who was actively working with him would be a bigger deal? There's this pattern where it almost seems as if Dooku thinks about what happened to Sifo-Dyas differently than his other kills, as if he has some reason to think what he did was less bad or more necessary, even insisting on repeating the absurd “we were working together” narrative when it really has lost relevance in light of how that ended up.

Sidious

Sidious is as onscreen physically violent to Dooku as we ever see him in non-Legends canon in the Lost One Sifo-Dyas episode. He goes into the conversation angry and ends up choking Dooku out over holocomm. If Dooku did, as we assume, exactly what Sidious wanted him to in killing Sifo-Dyas back 10-12 years ago, why does he come into that conversation so violently furious and willing to outright hurt Dooku in a way that he doesn't over other mistakes?

Bonus Bonus Round

In season 5, I suspect the reason we got Sifo-Dyas being tortured in the Sith cave in Yoda’s vision was because Clone Wars was going to make this reveal (and make it so that this was indeed Sifo-Dyas’s fate in the new canon), storyboard or animated part of it, and then decided not to and recycled the images for Yoda’s vision. My pure speculation, but it would fit with their pattern of unused/scrapped/recycled Clone Wars storylines.

*

That’s it! That’s all! You can’t get the time you spent reading this post back, but now this horrible theory lives in your head too. 

[ru-xia]

-gang shenanigans

starring: big deal

genre: incorrect quotes

preview: pretty ooc, lighthearted bits to forget about the pain (and samuel's soon-to-be bald head)

Jake: I trust Sinu.

Samuel: You think he knows what he's doing?

Jake: I wouldn't go that far.

Samuel: Now, the recipe calls for 2 shots of vodka.

Samuel: *upends the bottle*

Jake: I think we're missing something.

Jerry: Teamwork?

Brad: Cohesion?

Jason: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Sinu, going over Samuel's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

Samuel: Yes

Sinu: Okay... may I know what you create?

Samuel: Problems.

'Can I copy the homework?'

Jerry: I can help you with it!

Jake: Yeah, sure.

Brad: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.

Jason: lol nope.

Lineman: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!

Samuel: *Read 5:55pm*

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Lua: Thanks fam!

Jake: oh no

Sinu: who doesn't?

Samuel: Sounds fake but okay

Jerry: *A flustered mess*

Jason: can i get a refund

Samuel: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?

Jake: Language

Jerry: Yeah watch your fucking language

Sinu: OKAY WHO TAUGHT JERRY THE FUCK WORD?

Brad: 'The fuck word'.

Jake: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time

Samuel: Oh my god he censored it

Lua: Say fuck, Jake.

Jason: Do it, Jake. Say fuck.

Sinu: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Sinu: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Jason: It’s dark in here

Brad: Don’t worry dude I got this

Brad: *Stomps their feet*

Brad: *Skechers light up*

Jake: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Samuel: You people already know too much about me.

Jason: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Yeonhui: I know you snuck out last night, Sinu.

Jake: Play dumb!

Sinu: Who's Sinu?

Jake: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

*any big deal member really*: Hey, Sinu? Can I get some dating advice?

Sinu: Just because I’m with Yeonhui doesn’t mean I know how I did it.

Yeonhui: I've only known Jerry for a day and a half but if anything were to happen to him I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Samuel: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Sinu: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Jake: ...I did. I broke it.

Sinu: No. No you didn't. Brad?

Brad: Don't look at me. Look at Samuel.

Samuel: What?! I didn't break it.

Brad: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Samuel: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Brad: Suspicious.

Samuel: No, it's not!

Jason: If it matters, probably not, but Lua was the last one to use it.

Lua: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Jason: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Lua: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Jason!

Jake: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Sinu.

Sinu: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Jason: Sinu... Brad's been awfully quiet.

Brad: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Sinu, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Sinu: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Sinu:

Sinu: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*The squad right before Yeonhui's wedding*

Samuel: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Jake: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Jerry: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Lineman: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

Sinu, panicked: I THINK IT'S MY WEDDING

Jerry, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Lua, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Jason: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Lua: playing systemic oppression

Brad: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Jason: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Brad: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JERRY WITH ME

Jake, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Jason: Jerry isn’t answering his phone

Jake: I’ll call

Jason: Brad and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Jerry: Hello?

*Lineman, Jason, and Brad are sitting on a bench*

Jerry: Why do you guys look so sad?

Jason: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Jerry sits down*

Brad: The bench is freshly painted.

Jake: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Lua: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Jason: I got distracted about halfway through.

Samuel: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Samuel: Can I be frank with you guys?

Jerry: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Lineman: Can I still be Lineman?

Jake: Shh, let Frank speak.

[fangirlwriting-stories]

They Say You Can't Fight Fate (I Say Fucking Watch Me)

Chapter One

Chapter Two:

Roman and Remus were both experts at cheating the system by now.  Roman showed up here often enough that he was trusted to take Remus out on day trips sometimes.  They didn’t happen nearly as often as Remus liked, but they happened every now and then.  They’d gone to rage rooms and carnivals and on long drives through the countryside.  The memories were some of Remus’ happiest.

Roman told the people in charge of Remus’ care that he wanted to take him out on their birthday the next month, to get Remus a cake he could shove his face into (that part was actually true.  Remus had always wanted to do that during a year when he could remember it instead of just as a one-year-old, which he could not remember and was therefore completely unfair).

They gave him the go-ahead, and it was like a weight suddenly lifted from Remus’ shoulders.  Suddenly nothing was so bad, because all of this absolute bullshit had an end date.  Remus made sure not to show his relief, but holy shit did he feel it.

When the day arrived, they gave Remus a set of normal clothes and a day pass, and Roman showed up as soon as visiting hours started.

Remus wasn’t quite sure what to feel as he was walking towards Roman’s car.  The whole world seemed slightly off kilter somehow, as if someone had boxed Remus on the ears and now they were ringing.

As the car came into view Remus felt a gentle hand on his arm.

He turned to see Roman mouthing his name— no, wait, he was talking.  Okay, maybe the ringing ears were actually happening.

Remus shook his head, trying to clear it.  “What?” he asked.  His voice sounded like he was underwater.

Roman looked at him for another minute, and then just shook his head, took Remus’ arm, and pulled them both towards the car.

Remus stared out the window as they drove away, at the building getting smaller and smaller behind them.  Was he really never going to see it again?

Roman’s hand on his arm again finally snapped his brain back to reality, and Remus glanced over at him.

Roman was looking at the road, but the concern was still obvious on his face.  “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I don’t know how to exist outside that fucking place, Roman,” Remus said weakly.

“It’s okay,” Roman said, squeezing his arm.  “I’ll help you figure it out.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Remus asked, turning in his seat to look at him more directly.

“A little late to be asking that, isn’t it?” Roman asked.

“Well, no, not really.  We could just go get a cake and you could take me—” Remus stopped and swallowed the words, unable to say it.

Roman gave him a look.  “Yeah, sure I could,” he said.  “You’d be fine.”

“But you’re giving up your life,” Remus said, looking back out the window.  “Mom and Dad, your future, your friends.”

“What friends?  You’re my friend.”

Remus turned to stare at Roman again.  “What, are you telling me you don’t have any friends?”

Roman’s hands tightened around the wheel.  “No one could figure out how to stop making fun of you long enough to make a good impression.”

Remus kept staring at him.

“I do not want,” Roman said firmly.  “Anything this stupid town gives me.  And more than that, I don’t want to stay here if it means I might lose you.  The only thing this place has ever done for me is make me feel worthless, and then it took away the one person who didn’t make me feel that way.  Why would I want to stay here a second longer than I have to either?”

Remus reached across himself with his free arm and squeezed Roman’s hand.  “You’re not worthless,” he said quietly.

“Maybe,” Roman said.  “But I do know that I’m never gonna find out if I stick around here and keep waiting for things to change.  I’m tired of letting other people tell me what to do.  Especially when it comes to you.  So let’s go shove our face in a cake and then we’re gonna head west until the car gives out.  Sound good to you?”

Remus took all that in for a second and nodded, looking back out the window.  Even though he couldn’t see the mental hospital in the rear view mirror anymore, it still didn’t feel real.

Roman drove through town, which looked different from the last time Remus had seen it a couple years ago.  The ice cream shop was closed down in favor of the Dairy Queen that had moved in, which was just the worst.  The school was shabbier, with still no repairs in sight.  Their house, that Roman drove by once for the heck of it but Remus barely remembered, looked the same as it apparently always did.

(Roman slowed as they approached the house, and asked Remus if he wanted to say goodbye to their parents.  Remus flipped off the house, said “There, said it,” and then they drove on.  The experience did remind Roman to turn off his Find My Phone app though, so their parents were good for one minuscule thing after all.)

They stopped at the cake shop, where the baker waved at Roman as he walked in and disappeared into the back, likely to get the cake.  Roman must have set this up beforehand.

He reappeared with a simple cake, since obviously Roman couldn’t tip anyone off what they were planning.  So it just said “Happy Birthday To Us!”  It was a sheet cake long enough for the two of them both to fit alongside, so Remus lined up next to Roman, the two of them shared a grin, and then shoved their faces into the cake.

The baker sighed, seeming a tad irritated, but Remus stuck his tongue out into the section his head was in and managed to get a couple bites of cake down.

He pulled his head up to a universe covered in cake and very difficult to see.  His face was covered in cake and frosting, and he tried as best he could to lick it off, laughing at Roman standing next to him doing the same.

The baker passed them both a couple of towels, and they both used it to wipe a decent amount of cake off of their faces, though Remus still managed to eat some of it.

“There’s a bathroom in the back,” the baker said with a sigh, picking up the ruined cake that Remus got the feeling he didn’t like having ruined and carrying it into the back, followed by Roman and Remus.

They both headed into the bathroom he directed them to, and Remus used the towel and the sink to wipe off the rest of his face and hair.

“How is he in the cake business if he doesn’t want to make smash cakes?” Remus asked Roman as he stepped back from the sink.

Roman raised his hands in a shrug and started cleaning off his own face.  “Maybe they’re just not a big part of his business.”

“Or maybe he just wants to have his cake and eat it too,” Remus said with a grin.

Roman gave him a deadpan look.  “Dude, come on.  Don’t go for the low-hanging fruit.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Remus said brightly.  “I’ve missed all the opportunities to make terrible jokes that don’t have to do with mental hospitals.  Let me broaden my horizons.”

Roman shook his head, but he was wearing a fond smile, and he didn’t say anything else.

They headed back out to the car, grabbing the real cake Roman had gotten them to eat on the way out, and then Roman drove them back the other direction, towards the edge of town.

Remus watched the houses fly past with a growing grin on his face, and when they finally passed the “Come Back Soon” sign, he rolled down his window and flipped that off too, then stuck his head out the window and screamed, just for the hell of it.

“Careful,” Roman said with a laugh.  “We’ve got a ways to go before they can’t track us with ease, you know!”

In answer, Remus screamed again.

He did climb back into the car after a second though, and beamed out at the signs of the countryside starting to pass them.  Remus couldn’t ever imagine living in a city.  It might have been easier to hide, but Remus was never going to live surrounded by walls ever again.  No walls, none.  He needed space space space.

They drove for three hours before stopping for gas, and Remus didn’t stop smiling once.

“How are we gonna afford gas by the way?” he asked.

In answer, Roman flashed three of their parents’ credit cards, and Remus cackled.  Yes, they’d probably shut them off eventually, but not before they both got far, far away.

They bought a bunch of snacks from the gas station too, and Roman bought two sets of pocket knives.

They got back to the car, but before they headed out again, Roman grabbed Remus’ arm.

“What?” Remus asked.

“Well, you won’t need this any more,” Roman said, and Remus looked down just in time to see him use the pocket knife to cut off his day pass bracelet.

Remus stopped smiling, and looked down at his arm with nothing wrapped around it.  Roman pulled away and drove off without seeming to give it much thought, but Remus turned to the window so Roman couldn’t see the faint look on his face as he stared down at his arm.  His soulmark was still there, but the medical bracelet he’d taken off when they gave him the day pass was gone, and the day pass was gone now too, meaning nothing anyone could see could instantly tie him to that place, and no stranger they met would know Remus was supposed to be behind cold stone walls living his life by someone else’s assumptions of how he was feeling.

He wasn’t quite sure when he started crying, but eventually he was looking away from his wrist and out at the fields racing past them, tears dripping down his face.

They made it a good way from the exit of the highway before he started to sob, but Roman pulled the car over anyway, turning to Remus in alarm.

“Re?” he asked.  “Re, are you okay?”

Remus didn’t have the first clue how to articulate anything he was feeling, so instead he held up his wrist, gestured to it, and made vague broken sounds.

Roman got it, because Roman always got it, so he put the hazard lights on, parked the car, and reached across the space to pull Remus into a hug.  Remus sobbed into Roman’s arms for a good ten minutes, and Roman thankfully didn’t say anything, just held him close and let him.

There were stories about your soulmate understanding you more than anyone else, and Remus had always thought those stories were bullshit, because Roman got him better than any stranger he hadn’t met ever could.  But if this was really what they were doing, if they were deciding they were soulmates because they fucking said so, and the universe could piss off, then Remus… well.

He could almost get it.

...

Chapter Three

[douchebagbrainwaves]

I WOULD HAVE BEEN DELIGHTED IF I'D REALIZED IN COLLEGE THAT THERE WERE PARTS OF THE WORLD THAT DIDN'T CORRESPOND TO REALITY, AND WORKED FROM THAT

So were the early Lisps. We're Jeff and Bob and we've built an easy to use web-based database as a system to allow people to collaboratively leverage the value of whatever solution you've got so far. This probably indicates room for improvement.1 What would you pay for right now?2 If you'd proposed at the time.3 I've read that the same is true in the military—that the swaggering recruits are no more likely to know they're being stupid. And yet by far the biggest problem.4

If you want to keep out more than bad people. I am self-indulgent in the sense of being very short, and also on topic. Another way to figure out how to describe your startup in one compelling phrase. Most people have learned to do a mysterious, undifferentiated thing we called business. The Facebook was just a way for readers to get information and to kill time, a way for readers to get information and to kill time, a programming language unless it's also the scripting language of MIT. Committees yield bad design. When you demo, don't run through a catalog of features. A couple weeks ago I had a thought so heretical that it really surprised me. If we want to fix the bad aspects of it—the things to remember if you want to start startups, they'll start startups.5

Cobol and hype Ada, Java also play a role—but I think it is the worry that made the broken windows theory famous, and the larger the organization, the more extroverted of the two paths should you take?6 And a safe bet is enough.7 Though in a sense attacking you. They didn't become art dealers after a difficult choice between that and a career in the hard sciences.8 You can, however, which makes me think I was wrong to emphasize demos so much before. Kids help. But the short version is that if you trust your instincts about people. That's becoming the test of mattering to hackers. One of the most successful startups almost all begin this way.9

But something is missing: individual initiative. He got away with it, but unless you're a captivating speaker, which most hackers aren't, it's better to play it safe. But if you want to avoid writing them. What you should learn as an intellectual exercise, even though you won't actually use it: Lisp is worth learning for the profound enlightenment experience you will have when you finally get it; that experience will make you think What did I do before x? If you had a handful of users who love you, and merely to call it an improved version of Python.10 The political correctness of Common Lisp probably expected users to have text editors that would type these long names for them. Be careful to copy what makes them good, rather than the company that solved that important problem. Since a successful startup founder, but that has not stood in the way of redesign.11 I would have been the starting point for their reputation. Whatever the upper limit is, we are clearly not meant to work in a big program.

I know because I've seen it burn off.12 For us the main indication of impending doom is when we don't hear from you. Maxim magazine publishes an annual volume of photographs, containing a mix of pin-ups and grisly accidents. One of the most important thing a community site can do is attract the kind of people who use the phrase software engineering shake their heads disapprovingly. We've barely given a thought to how to live with it. The usual way to avoid being taken by surprise by something is to be consciously aware of it.13 It took us a few iterations to learn to trust our senses. Gmail was one of the founders are just out of college, or even make sounds that tell what's happening.

And odds are that is in fact normal in a startup. For example, if you're starting a company whose only purpose is patent litigation. You're just looking for something to spark a thought.14 Wireless connectivity of various types can now be taken for granted.15 There is not a lot of wild goose chases, but I've never had a good way to look at what you've done in the cold light of morning, and see all its flaws very clearly. What sort of company might cause people in the future, and the classics.16 001 and understood it, for example. One trick is to ask yourself whether you'll care about it in the future. You need to use a trojan horse: to give people an application they want, including Lisp.

Notes

So it may be that some of the economy. Angels and super-angels will snap up stars that VCs miss.

I mean no more than most people, you would never have come to accept that investors are induced by startups is that they've focused on different components of it. I thought there wasn't, because people would do fairly well as down.

Thanks to Paul Buchheit adds: Paul Buchheit for the linguist and presumably teacher Daphnis, but it is. We're sometimes disappointed when a startup is taking the Facebook that might work is a sufficiently identifiable style, you should probably be multiple blacklists. I'm compressing the story.

Good and bad luck. The solution was a new search engine, but it is very polite and b the local startups also apply to the prevalence of systems of seniority. The University of Vermont: The First Industrial Revolution happen earlier? An earlier version of the companies fail, no matter how good you are listing in order to test whether that initial impression holds up.

So what ends up happening is that the lack of transparency. Letter to Ottoline Morrell, December 1912. Loosely speaking.

On Bullshit, Princeton University Press, 2005. Ashgate, 1998. No big deal.

Strictly speaking it's impossible to succeed in a startup to be important ones. The earnings turn out to be significantly pickier.

Many famous works of anthropology. You have to disclose the threat to potential investors are interested in graphic design. Japanese are only arrows on parts with unexpectedly sharp curves. Peter, Why Are We Getting a Divorce?

Microsoft could not have raised: Re: Revenge of the ingredients in our case, companies' market caps do eventually become a manager. I took so long.

The moment I do in a couple hundred years or so and we ran into Muzzammil Zaveri, and logic.

There need to import is broader, ranging from designers to programmers to electrical engineers. Parker, op.

We don't use Oracle. It should not try too hard to tell them what to think about where those market caps do eventually become a genuine addict. Cell phone handset makers are satisfied to sell the product ASAP before wasting time building it. One YC founder who used to build their sites.

In fact the secret weapon of the web and enables a new airport.

An Operational Definition. The rest exist to satisfy demand among fund managers for venture capital as an idea that was more rebellion which can vary a lot of face to face meetings.

And in World War II had disappeared in a startup you have the least important of the causes of the startup.

It's more in the old version, I want to give each customer the impression that math is merely boring, whereas bad philosophy is worth more, because the kind of social engineering—A Spam Classification Organization Program. I spent some time trying to describe what's happening till they measure their returns.

Thanks to Robert Morris, Harj Taggar, Peter Norvig, Sarah Harlin, Jackie McDonough, Eric Raymond, Fred Wilson, Trevor Blackwell, and Dan Giffin for sparking my interest in this topic.

[boyswanna-be-her]

Lmao the walk was super fun but only two people showed up (my biggest fan, who was obvs gonna be there, and a new friend who we both met at the same time through volunteering which is cute and fun, he's a p good deal younger than us). Since it was just the 3 of us, we hiked the WHOLE trail system and had a blast. Got lunch afterwards. I invited them to come out to the beach with me, and my friend decided to follow me straight out and new boy went home first but then flaked and never ended up coming to the beach.

So the clown dance continued, we swam and sunned and laughed, came back to my apartment, eventually got hungry and went to dinner, our third meal together in a row today. At every point they were hesitant to leave and happy to be invited to do the next thing. The only reason why we're not together now is that we're supposed to lift tonight at their place with someone else joining, so they headed back to their own side of town while I went home to take a shower.

This is actually a great holding pattern as far as I'm concerned. We spend as much time and I'd be willing to spend with someone I was dating, and I enjoy spending time with them more than being alone (USUALLY more, sometimes they're in a mood and I'd rather split). It's been so long since I've ACTUALLY enjoyed someone's company more than my own that I wasn't sure that would ever even happen again for me. I'm happy with this. The chemistry is there but--and holy shit i can't believe im saying this--I don't actually want to risk our friend...ship? Lmao? Who am i?

I also made an offhand comment about planning something fun and they responded "I don't really drink so that can make it hard" and of course in light of recent life changes on my side I'm like 👀👀👀 that is the opposite of a problem! But it also makes me sad bc they have been drinking with me some on our off hours and it sounds like they were just trying to keep up with me/not murder the vibe and that was SO not necessary. It also makes some stuff track more in retrospect (like "oh what was up with them that night?" ends up being "they were sleepy bc they dont drink booze normally"). Anyway, since it came up organically I told them that I was actually working on my sobriety and that it was difficult with my parents as enablers/people who want a drinking buddy from their child--and wouldnt you fucking know, bc we have everything else in common, they also have the SAME dynamic w their parents. And they seemed happy that sobriety was something I was thinking about and valued, but possibly more relieved that I actually DO enjoy our time together when we're both sober and want to do more of that.

We're finally getting into some deeper shit and I'm learning about their history and what makes them tick. Like they speak their mind super freely, but they are SO private about their family and personal life to the point that it feels almost too intimate to learn some of this shit that people who have known them longer are oblivious about. On the other hand, I'm a open book about everything I've been through and my mental health but good fucking luck getting an earnest take out of me on anything unless i deeply trust you. It makes for a weird game of learning about each other. I thanked them today for being a friend who's down to clown with all of my stupid suggestions and admitted that I normally just do everything alone but it's more fun with them. They expressed it all back to me. Alone for a long time, fine with that, surprised to find me, thankful for that too. It's just like, hm. Very comfy. And I don't worry about being wanted or wearing out my welcome, and I don't get taken advantage of, and they stand up for me and do nice things for me, and feed me and worry about me. That's such a nice change for me from being either The Provider or a person who wants for nothing or no one. It's scary to want someone in my life, even in this capacity, but it's more rewarding than I thought it could be without, yknow, actively trying to date or hook up. I feel like the possibility of something more is stalking us from location to location like the monster in It Follows--sometimes our knees are nestled together while we talk and it's breathing down our necks and sometimes we're both distracted and moody and it's not something either is thinking too much about, but fuck if it isn't always there and a thing I think we will inevitably make a choice about in the future but.

[moonjxsung]

omg i heard we were trashing exes.

i'm gonna try to keep this short but i was with this piece of shit for almost four years so he did quite a lot of damage and trauma.

my first bf was in high school, i was vvvvv clueless about serious relationships and what was normal and what wasn't. anyway,

man said ily like two weeks in, told me we'd get married, bought me things as his way to get me to not be mad at him instead of actually apologizing for what he did. he had me convinced that id be nothing without him, that no one would love me the way he did and wouldn't love me after him cos of how much he fucked me up.

he had a serious god complex and really put himself on a pedestal, he was the smartest person and would not hesitate to bring others down for his own gain. even me his own damn gf. (keep in mind we dated in high school and now i'm 22 and he's still the same to this day.)

i grew up being called dumb and stupid by my peers so he used the fact i grew up believing i was a dumbass to his advantage to convince me that he's smart so he knows what's best. he looked down on me, talked down to me like i was a clueless child and he was simply leading the way.

even if he knew little to nothing about my friends and family cos he never tried to get to know them he would take the opportunity to shit on them whenever i'd rant about issues that came up. he tried to control which friends i was allowed to hang out with by making a good and bad friend list and showing that to my mother.

(at the time our relationship was rocky and she reached out to him cos she wanted to know i was okay. instead of telling her that she could trust me he makes a fucking list)

he ruined relationships with friends we shared, eventually isolating me from everyone. he became my support system and only friend.

bro had me feeling like anything and everything i did was wrong. looking back he never went out of his way to get to learn about what i liked, my hobbies and shit but was more than happy to give me every little detail about his interests when i'd ask him. he criticized everything i liked or did.

bro was the definition, the human fucking form of a manipulator, gaslighter and overall toxic human being. love really makes you stupid and blind to the fucked up shit that happens in a toxic relationship so it wasn't till i got out that i realized the shit he did to me wasn't normal (don't even get me started on the other shit that would literally need a big ass trigger warning)

my ex after him was 10x better but even if that ex did the bare fucking minimum of communication, respect and being a decent human i was like "omg this hasn't happened before" "omg is this normal?"

this ex was actually great but the fact i was in awe of the bare minimum means the toxic ex really had my bar on the floor

anyway ily star

~ 🌸

BESTIE :( I am so fucking sorry oh my god he sounds like absolute fucking SCUM :( the fact that all of us have a horror story about some ex is actually so alarming like WHAT is it with men that they just go around treating everyone like fucking garbage WHYYY are you even seeking out a relationship then???? And then people wonder why we love forms of escapism like fanfic or romance as a genre bc we love imagining healthy love and intimacy… as a form of escape from the complete opposite we’ve been dealt 🤕 I hope you’re far far away from him now & staying both safe and healthy!! None of those shitty ass fucking men deserved you anyway and I’m manifesting so hard that you find someone actually worth your time who gives you all the love n respect you deserve. Swear we could make a fucking emotional support group on here with how many of you guys have horror stories abt men 😭😭 sending you all my love annonie I hope you heal from all you’ve been dealt :( I love you always 🫂💓🫶🌙⭐️

[pleb-the-original]

Day 30: Create Your Own Cryptid

(so, this one I knew right from the start who would star. I've had an idea for a long time now about this little cryptid named bloodlust who actually went onto forums discussing him and using their belief to game the system and grant him new abilities. this is the moment where he finally lets them in on his little secret) lookout> anyone gotten anything recently? I’ve heard he’s been in the west coast area tracker> you talking about the new sequoia footage? lookout> yep. tracker> nothing yet on my end User San has joined! lookout> oh hey. newbie. San> Hello. A friend told me you guys specialized in cryptids? lookout> just the one. we ain’t exactly bigfoot hunters here. tracker> remember that one guy who tried to send in that photoshop of bloodlust with bigfoot? lookout> oh yeah that guy. literally made an account just to show off his art and claimed it was real. San> What happened to him? lookout> ban. San> Yikes. Anyways, what did you guys call him? lookout> bloodlust. tracker> yeah it sounds stupid, but that’s what he wants to call himself San> And you guys are okay with that name? lookout> sure. better than being called the Holloway monster or something like that. San> I guess that makes sense. Anyways, I came here because I was told that you guys could help out with identifying this thing I saw? tracker> better not be another photoshop. San> Don’t worry, it's some footage from my doorbell cam. San> september21.mp4 lookout> well, that’s tracker> he cleared out a whole raccoon den? San> The weird thing however is that when I went out to check when I woke up, the bodies were gone. There were traces of blood everywhere but it was just scraps. lookout> man tracker> good footage. clear angles and everything San> Thank you. lookout> it’ll take a bit to be verified. but I think this is front page material. tracker> better than the sequoia footage. San> Really?

lookout> yeah. almost made us think it was an actual amateur sighting San> What does that mean? tracker> wait, you really think? lookout> yep. I mean come on, this footage is perfect, too perfect. its at a perfect angle with every body in frame and of course the main attraction himself placed dead set in the middle. San> What are you getting at here? lookout> i’ve been modding this place for a long time. do you know how often we seem to get new members popping in and out of the forums leaving behind tiny pieces of evidence? tracker> oh great, he’s going off about his theory again San> Theory? tracker> his stupid idea that every new person that joins the forum is actually bloodlust himself in disguise using stolen phones. conspiracy much? besides, he’s a cryptid. i get that they’re smarter than normal animals but not that smart. lookout> But it just doesn’t make sense! tracker> give it up already. you’re gonna scare the newbie away. lookout> his name is literally San. as in SANGUINE tracker> touch grass. that isn’t even a real word tracker> look kid, I don’t know what he’s on about but trust me. everyone else isn’t like that San> Well that’s a shame. tracker> what? why San> he’s been the only one out of all of you to actually figure me out tracker> no lookout> wait, is that actually San> He even got the name reference right. I thought after finding that word that using it would be too obvious. But this has been a fun game nevertheless. lookout> HOLY SHIT tracker> no, it’s gotta be a bit. it has too San> Are you sure? lookout> Ok ok, if that is really you, then find me. I’ll send you my address in dms rq. tracker> dude, this is how you get scammed. San> Alright. tracker> come on guys, this is insane tracker> guys tracker> well don’t say I didn’t warn you lookout> he’s outside. tracker> what lookout> he is waving from outside my backyard tracker> no, you live in the midwest, he couldn’t have lookout> I dunno man, heard he has connection with demons tracker> ok, then send some real proof lookout> 478669856875.png tracker> did tracker> did you just take a selfie with the cryptid we’ve been tracking lookout> I have a name you know. tracker> bloodlust? lookout> In the scales. Glad to finally be able to meet one of my fans in real life. I’ve been following this place for a long time. Now that someone has finally pulled the curtain out, how about I do you all a favor. Lookout here will set up a Q&A for me later. A grand prize. tracker> wow. lookout> And honestly tracker, I’ve gotta thank you personally. It was your deductive skills that granted me my wings. tracker> wait, how? lookout> Save it for later. It’s a good story. Now then, lookout here says he’s got a spare cat bed I could use. I bid you all adieu until tomorrow. User lookout has logged off

[talesfrommedinastation]

OC Prompt: r/amitheasshole

I saw this the other day, and while I can't find the original prompt, I had so much fun writing this from Sjael's Drummer's perspective! I love Reddit, lol

Taken from this chapter from Far Past the Ring:

-----------

AITA for being scientifically accurate?

I’m (F27) a postdoctoral scholar in chemical engineering, and am currently conducting research in the field. I’m looking at new places for potential colonization, as well as trying to figure out if this soil is garbage or not (hint, it’s not great, not bad). 

While I’ve been conducting research, I’ve been sort of seeing this guy (M,30’s? He hasn’t exactly stated). Let’s call him ‘Ryan’, because he looks like his name would be Ryan and he’d work in accounting, trust me on this one. 

(Look at that man and tell me he doesn't look like he'd get excited over an audit. TELL ME.)

He’s camping with his family (M 30’s, M 30’s, and F13, all his siblings) nearby. Ryan is awesome–just amazing. I’ve never met anyone as wonderful as him before. He’s so smart, honest, devoted to his family, and a great listener. The man knows everything about machines and computers, but if you’re confused about something, he doesn’t treat you like an idiot. If my papa was alive, he’d be all over Ryan like white on rice. 

So, Ryan and I hooked up for the first time last night. He is on the spectrum, but man, I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who communicates as quickly and efficiently as he does. His post coital mood was to ask all about my vanilla orchid–I mean, who does that? The man is inquisitive as well as bright and kind. I’m really falling for him.

Well, I wanted to impress him, so after we had sex, I made a huge helping of mushroom pho from scratch, and invited his family over for dinner. Ryan even helped me cook, he’s such a sweetie. 

Now, his siblings look nothing like him–Ryan is very pale, with light hair, and slender, while his sister is very tan, short, but with bright blond hair. His brothers are his opposites, they’re tan like their sister, one has long dark hair, and the other one is huge and bald. You wouldn’t even think they’re siblings. I figured they all had different fathers, it happens, I don’t judge.  

At any rate, I found out the armies in this region are completely staffed by clone soldiers, and I brought this up at dinner, and pointed out how ridiculous it was. It sounds stupid, right? After all, how inefficient is a clone army?

If you wanted to get rid of them, wouldn’t you just genetically modify a disease after studying the clones, and then drop in within their encampments? Boom. War done in less then two weeks, no one could come up with a vaccine that quick. Almost every war has been won, in a weird way, by biological reasons, rather than battles. 

I thought Ryan–the smartest, most rational guy I’ve ever hooked up with–would agree with me. 

Nope! Ryan was infuriated with me. Stopped eating his pho, and just lectured me on how incorrect and rude I was being. Pointed out how the science allows for deviance within clones, and didn’t I as a Ph.D know any better? 

Then a bomb was dropped–turns out Ryan is a clone! He's a veteran of that army! And so are his siblings! 

I wanted to just sink into my soup, I was so embarrassed. His brother and sister tried to cheer me up afterwards, but Ryan was silent for the rest of dinner, and didn’t even say goodbye to me when they went back to their campsite. 

I like Ryan a lot, but I’m pretty sure I ruined my chances with him forever because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.

AITA? It is the truth, clones generally have higher rates of close immune systems, after all, that’s how we studied medicine and effects for many years. But Ryan’s correct too, and I really upset him, just as we were getting close too. Ugh, what do I do?

[hannahsmusings]

Renee

*I just stare at Tom as he speaks, unable to look away or even move an inch, it being like a car wreck where you were unable to look away no matter how badly you wanted to, I wanted to run out of the room mid sentence, not wanting to hear his excuses, I was so sick of getting my hopes up by men and being let down time after time* *I wasn’t a stranger to rejection, men wanting me in the dark when they’ve had liquor in their system, and then not wanting me in the morning but I thought Tom was different, I thought he valued me more than that but apparently he didn’t, I was just a rebound, a mistake, some fantasy he was probably living out considering I was a hot young nanny* *he tucked me in, he told me that adorable story about a princess and a prince, he looked at me like he could’ve loved me and now he was throwing me aside* *i nod at his final words of how it won’t happen again, not that it can’t, but that it won’t, it all sounding so final* Understood. I’m sorry. *I didn’t trust myself to speak more than that, afraid my voice would wobble or break and he’d start looking at me in that infuriating way and I’d quit on the spot, not wanting to be pitied by this man* It was inappropriate. It won’t happen again. *I suddenly feel claustrophobic, like there wasn’t enough air in the room, that I needed to get out of here* I, erm, I was just coming out here to say I need to get home… my roommate texted, she’s sick. *it was a pathetic lie but I couldn’t stay here, there was no chance I was going to stay here and play house this morning in front of the kids when everything was just ripped away from me, I’d regret not seeing them wake up but I’d see them tomorrow morning, during my shift, because that’s all I was, just a worker, I wasn’t part of the family and I never would be* Is there anything you need from me before I head out? *my voice sounded so small and stupid to my own ears, keeping my eyes on him though somehow, not wanting him to se just how broken and gutted I was over this, wanting to seem strong, not wanting another man to know that they got to me* 

________________________________________________

*now that I’d got it out, I felt sick, holding my breath and a part of me buried so deep praying that you’d resist, that you’d fight for us because it was clear that I was too cowardly to, not wanting anything in my life that was meaningful that I could possibly lose* *can’t tear my eyes away from you as you just stand their frozen, my heart fighting in my chest at this moment suspended in time, knowing this was the defining moment between us and my heart ached that I’d ended things before they’d even begun* *stomach drops as you apologise, bracing my hands on the breakfast island to prevent myself reaching for you as you had nothing to apologise for, ever* *this was me, I’d done this, I’d blurred the lines and complicated everything and I was so fucking confused how to feel about it, fingers clenching around the island and not looking away from you* I-I... *body goes rigid as you you had to leave, heart cleaving in two as I knew it was a lie and that you were trying to get away from me, my face betraying my devastation for a split second as I step towards you* Renee..*whispers, voice slipping out without even meaning to, eyes pained and the longing I felt was obvious, only present for a moment before you asked whether I needed anything, wanting to take back every word and just scream that I needed you, but I knew this was you reaffirming our roles, me your employer, you my employee, nothing else* *shuts the want and devastation away, locking it in this box buried deep in my mind labelled with your name, all the questions of what we were dying along with it as I just shake my head* No, you’re good. I’m good here. *my voice was plain, unfeeling and distant, this cool atmosphere having settled between us* I hope your roommate feels better. *says, eyes dark and whirling with emotion, despite the fact I was stood rigid, I couldn’t hide the pain in my eyes* I’ll see you in the morning? *the hope was obvious in my voice, praying that although I could never have you in the way that I wanted, I could still have you here for the kids, just wanting you around* 

[bouwrites]

Those Warm and Halcyon Days: Chapter 9

Nosy Crestologists

Ao3.

First, Previous, Next.

Story under read-more.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know that thing keeps records,” Veery hisses.

“I already said that’s my bad!” Claude protests. “Complaining about it isn’t helping, you know!”

“Then hurry up!”

“It’s delicate!” Claude groans. “I can’t believe Linhardt wouldn’t come. Why didn’t he just erase it when he saw it?”

Ugh. Linhardt. Telling Claude in two vague sentences how to delete the records is not “helping”. Then again, it’s two sentences more than they’d have, and they certainly can’t wait and spy on Professor Hanneman doing it to figure out the process.

Veery’s tail lashes wildly, and he grabs it in his hands just to ensure it doesn’t hit anything. He’s not willing to test his self-control right now. “It’s your fault in the first place.”

“Yes,” Claude says through his teeth. “As I’ve admitted. What more do you want from me? We’re going to fix it! It’s fine.���

“It’s not fine!”

“Relax. No one but Linhardt has seen it, and Linhardt won’t tell. We just need to get this, and we’ll be clear.”

Veery fidgets, ears swiveling wildly to pick up every little sound. “They’re going to find out and Lady Rhea’s going to hunt me down and I’m going to have to hide underground for the rest of my life,” he mutters.

“Veery, calm down. It’s not that bad.”

“I don’t want to live in Abyss! Abyss sucks! Yuri’s a terrible leader! He doesn’t even know what a trap is!”

“…Technically, Aelfric is the leader of Abyss.”

“Is that supposed to be comforting?”

Claude shrugs. “Everyone seems to love him.”

“I don’t trust him,” Veery pouts. “He’s human and he’s part of the church and he’ll hunt me down just like Rhea will.”

Claude makes an uncomfortable face. “Is that really wh- gah! Shit.” The device sparks, making him flinch back, but he’s back at it in the next moment. “Is that really what you think of humans?”

Veery grits his teeth. “You all haven’t stopped fighting since I’ve met you,” he says. “Every chance you get you run out to kill someone, even when it’s stupid. You tear each other and yourselves apart with ridiculous standards, drive families away from each other, and punish each other with death for doing what your own systems make you do. The moment anyone has any reason to come after me, I’ll be hunted just like everyone else.”

Claude does visibly flinch at that. “That seems… a little harsh.”

“The only time you should ever fight is when your survival is on the line,” Veery growls. “To eat. To get away. Not to punish and kill. I don’t understand why you humans fight so much over every little thing, but it’s clear enough that no one’s an exception. Especially not someone who doesn’t fit in.” Veery shivers, thinking about what can happen. His voice is barely more than a whine at this point, but he continues and says, “If Rhea decides she doesn’t like me having a Crest, I’m going to have to leave or she’ll skin me and I… I don’t want to leave.”

“You…” Claude stills, guarded and eyeing Veery carefully. “All that about how terrible humans are, and you don’t want to leave? If you hate us so much, why don’t you go home? No one’s stopping you.”

Why doesn’t he? It’s true, he hates fighting and humans never seem to stop doing that. For dumb reasons, too. Every single thing about last month is a mess and a half and it’s only worse when Veery finally has Miklan’s situation properly explained to him. The church executes those people from the Western Church even though there isn’t any need to the month before that. The month before that, when Veery first meets these people, they are being made to slaughter militia! There’s no reason for it. No one gains anything from those deaths except more pain.

And yet… that’s not why he’s in Garreg Mach in the first place. Veery isn’t here to fight. He’s not here to get involved. He just happens to be getting dragged in because of other things. And he’s a hypocrite, anyway. It’s not like Veery can’t say no when Claude asks him to help. He can turn down being involved in this investigation to find Flayn, even. Seteth will despise him for it, and understandably so, but he can.

The problem is that none of that has ever been the point. Veery comes to Garreg Mach to learn about humans, the good and the bad. He’s staying because he still has a lot to learn and because he has friends here who will help him. And because those people are important to him, and he’ll miss them if he’s never allowed to see them again.

“I never said I hate you.” Veery frowns. “I want to stay because I like you.” It’s nothing but the truth. “But the church…” He shakes his head, unable to find the right words. “And I… Wait- someone’s coming.” Veery’s turns his head, panic rising in his chest. “From… from the library, I think. Hurry up!”

That spurs Claude back into gear, tinkering more with the device. “It’s probably just Tomas. Calm down.”

Veery chews his lip and listens. Step. Step. “Doesn’t Tomas use a cane?” he asks.

“Yeah. Why?”

“There’s no cane. It’s not Tomas.”

“Shit.” Claude frantically fiddles with the device for a few more tense moments. Veery holds his breath as he keeps his ears trained on the footsteps. They’re coming down the corridor from the library. If they leave now they can get out before this person comes around into the main hallway. “Got it! Come on, let’s go!”

Veery grabs Claude’s arm and drags him out the door. Hurry, hurry, hurry-

“Well, well. What could you two possibly be doing here at this hour?”

Fuck. It’s Professor Hanneman. Veery knew this stupid device was dumb. Stupid Crests and stupid Claude and this stupid freaky machine. This is entirely Claude’s fault.

“Professor Hanneman!” Claude says smoothly, as if they aren’t in possibly the worst-case scenario. “We were looking for you, actually!”

They’re what?

“Well past curfew?” Professor Hanneman asks with all the sage amusement of someone who already knows the full situation and is only humoring the troublemaker.

“Technically, Veery doesn’t have a curfew,” Claude says. “And he had so many questions about Crests that we just completely lost track of time. He’s never seen one before, you know, until he got involved with us. He’s still trying to wrap his head around what they even are.”

Professor Hanneman looks down his nose at Claude, examining him through his spectacles. “Is this true, Veery?”

Sure, if it’ll get them away from here. “Yes.”

“Well, why didn’t you say you were interested in Crests?” Professor Hanneman suddenly gets a large grin on his face. “Into my office immediately. Allow me to explain absolutely everything about them. Oh, this will take a while, but I’m sure if you’re out this late you have the time.”

Veery glances helplessly to Claude, who smiles easily and follows Professor Hanneman inside. This is a terrible idea. Veery knows this, and yet he follows anyway. There’s no escape route.

Professor Hanneman closes the door behind them. And locks it.

Yikes.

“Now, as much I would love to tell you all about the wonders of Crests,” Hanneman says, crossing his arms and blocking off the door with his body, “I feel that as your teacher, I must first take a moment to remind you both not to touch equipment you do not understand.” Veery calls it, honestly. With the cat out of the bag, even Claude winces a little. “Not only can it be dangerous, but some of this equipment is extraordinarily expensive. It would not do for curious students to damage it because they do not know what they are doing.”

Thoroughly chastised and panicking a little, Veery blurts out, “I’m not a student.”

“Even so,” Professor Hanneman nods to him, “you should ask and find someone who knows how it works before attempting to use equipment you’re unfamiliar with.”

“He didn’t touch it,” Claude says suddenly. “I’d seen you do it a few times and thought I could manage it.”

Professor Hanneman sighs. “And you did, but now you are in a tough spot because you did not fully understand what you were using. Is that not so?”

“Uh… yeah. My bad.”

“Good. I hope you both learn a valuable lesson from this.”

Veery nods eagerly, hoping to be let go and never speak of this incident again. Professor Hanneman already knows, so Veery will just find Yuri, get some sanctuary for a while until he can figure out how to best get back to Albinea and he’ll hopefully keep his hide.

“That said,” Professor Hanneman continues, “as a Crest Scholar, I must applaud you both for not only discovering an as-yet undiscovered Crest, but taking the initiative to study it on your own. I must say, even I had never imagined that a Crest would appear in a completely different species! Why, if I had not stumbled across that record in my analyzer, I would never have guessed that you of all people bear a Crest, Veery.”

Great. Fuck.

“Why, between your Crest and Professor Byleth’s, this could not be a more exciting time to be a Crest Scholar! Veery, I absolutely beg of you, please cooperate with me for my research! A Crest appearing in a non-human species is… well, completely unprecedented. Your Crest could change Crestology as we know it! Tell me, do you know, can the agell make viable offspring with humans? That could explain how the Crest got into your bloodline…”

Other way around, most likely, though the breeding thing isn’t the dumbest idea of how it happens. (Though, considering there’s like twelve all supposed to have appeared at the same time, it’s either extremely unlikely or that was some party and the Elite’s parents were weird. Honestly, though, at this point Veery would not be surprised.)

Veery is too busy panicking, though, to think about whether agell and humans can actually produce cubs.

“Professor,” Claude cuts in. “I understand your excitement, but… you’re scaring poor Veery half to death.”

Veery wants to protest, but it’s true, so he flattens his ears back and looks at the floor instead. And, oh, he’s hiding behind Claude again. It’s not embarrassing if Claude doesn’t call him out on it. Jerk.

Professor Hanneman clears his throat. “Oh, of course. My deepest apologies. Given your sneaking around and the church’s rhetoric on their origins, you no doubt want this kept a secret. Well, worry not. My loyalty is to the advancement of Crestology, and to my students, not to the church. Your secret is safe with me.”

What?

“You’re serious?” Claude asks, dumbfounded. “I thought you had to report every Crest to Lady Rhea.”

Professor Hanneman smirks wickedly, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes as he says, “I am contractually obligated to record the Crests of the Officer’s Academy students, yes, but Veery here is not a student in any official capacity, is he?” He chuckles. “Besides, if it is in the best interest of my students, I would gladly ignore such a silly rule. Er… don’t tell Seteth.”

“Pfft, hahahaha!” Claude bursts. “Oh, goddess, you’ve no idea how much trouble you’re saving us.” Veery elbows Claude roughly, earning a yelp. “Hey! Geez. It’s fine, see? Professor Hanneman will keep it a secret.”

“You are still uneasy,” Professor Hanneman says calmly. “Allow me, then, to elaborate that my secrecy is under no conditions. If you choose not to assist in my research, I will still not report this.” He levels an intelligent gaze at them both. “It is clear to me that you two know much more about this Crest than I do – which is hardly surprising, considering I cannot find any mention of such a Crest, or even such a situation – but even I know that the church won’t take kindly to an agell having a Crest.

“I know all too well the lengths people will go to for the sake of Crests.” Professor Hanneman sighs heavily. “There is already an unfortunate xenophobia running rampant here in Fódlan. I cannot even begin to imagine what life must be like for you as it is. If knowledge of your Crest threatens even people’s faith, the reaction would be… I would not wish that upon you. So please, trust that I am as good as my word, and that not a soul will hear about this from me.”

Veery absolutely does not trust him, but… what else is he supposed to do? Run away? Yuri says trust is a choice. Veery doesn’t really think so. He can choose to act like he trusts Professor Hanneman, and in the absence of evidence that he’s lying, it’s his best option at the moment, but in his heart, he can’t make himself believe it.

…He also doesn’t fully trust that Claude or Sylvain or Mercedes or Leonie or anyone else here won’t turn on him, skin him, and use his fur as a coat. But he acts like he does. It’s not… not trust. Not in his heart. It’s… more like hope. A hope that they’ll surpass his expectations and prove themselves worthy of trust.

It’s been months, and he honestly still doesn’t know where the limit is. Why he still can’t trust these people, despite them being nothing but kind to him for so long now. He… suspects it has to do with the church, because no matter what they’re like individually, they all still technically answer to Lady Rhea and the church and that… Veery doesn’t trust that one bit.

Or he hopes that’s what it is. That’s what he tells himself it is, because if the truth is that he just can’t ever bring himself to fully trust a human then he’s… not sure why he’s here in the first place.

“Veery?” Claude asks gently. “What do you think?”

Veery doesn’t look up at Professor Hanneman when he says, “Fine. I’ll… choose to trust you for now.”

“I thank you, for placing your trust in me,” Professor Hanneman says. “Now, do either of you want to explain everything you’ve learned to me? I will not force you, of course, but you well know that I am intrigued.”

“No,” Veery mutters. “I’d rather not.”

“Veery…” Claude says. “Far be it from me to talk about trust, but… Professor Hanneman will be able to figure out a lot more than we can on our own. Hell, Linhardt, too. He already knows, so what’s the harm in trying to learn more from him?”

Claude has a point. Veery hates that Claude has a point. He grits his teeth. “…You explain it.”

“You sure? I do think we should tell him, but I won’t share anything you don’t want me to.”

“Just do it. It won’t get any worse, so you may as well.”

“…Okay.” Claude takes a deep breath and begins to explain everything. How their investigation is actually not about Crests at all, but about the Relics and their power. How Veery’s heart is reminiscent of a Crest Stone in all the ways that seem to matter. How that connection makes them think Veery likely has a Crest of his own, which originates in him. The incident at Conand Tower with Miklan and the black beast that is actually just the Lance of Ruin itself and how, if they’re right, the Heroes’ Relics are the bones and hearts of another unknown species closely related to the agell.

It’s a long story, and Veery only mostly listens to it, but Professor Hanneman listens the whole time with rapt attention. He was probably a very good student in school, when he attended. If he attended. Veery honestly doesn’t know how schools work beyond the Officer’s Academy.

When Claude does eventually stop talking, Professor Hanneman slowly shakes his head. “Why… I am speechless. Utterly speechless. The mere thought of all of this seems almost preposterous and yet… if it’s true, a great many things would make sense.” He fiddles with his moustache a bit before saying, “There is a – somewhat heretical – theory within the study of Crestology that the Crests originate from the Crest Stones, but no one has ever been able to prove how the Crests might have been given to those first Crested Heroes, so it has been largely discarded. If Crests truly originate in another species entirely, then some mechanism must have gifted them unto humans.”

“And that’s where I’m stuck, as well,” Claude says. “Technically speaking, there’s no reason it can’t be the goddess, though, so I wouldn’t say the theory alone is heretical.”

Professor Hanneman shakes his head, smiling. “You are not the church, Claude. And a word of caution; sometimes, you make that fact a little too evident.”

Claude makes a face. “Agh, understood, professor.”

Professor Hanneman hums. “The means by which we can give Crests to the Crestless… Veery, I’m afraid I must ask you once more to assist in my research. If you are on the right track here, and I believe you very well may be, study of your… shall we say, undiluted Crest may shed some light on how Crests first appeared in humans. And I must stress how truly revolutionary this research may be. It could completely change the future of Fódlan!”

Maybe, except Veery doesn’t like the idea of being experimented on. He’s a person, not a… thing to be tested. Especially not when it’s someone so thoroughly untrustworthy doing the testing. If Professor Hanneman honestly won’t try to force him, though, he can… try to cooperate. Maybe. On a case by case basis. “…I’ll think about it,” Veery says eventually, and it’s all he’s willing to commit to Professor Hanneman.

Professor Hanneman beams as if he’s received the greatest gift known to man.

“So, how do you want to do this?” Veery thinks about not following through on his deal with Linhardt, if only because Linhardt clearly takes the bare minimum of following through with his end and he will likely be subject to much worse examination by Professor Hanneman soon enough, but eventually decides that he’ll do what he says he will.

Even if things don’t go according to plan, a deal is a deal and Linhardt does technically do his part, so here Veery is in Linhardt’s room.

(Honestly, it’s almost welcome to be gawked at in this form. He’s so used to everyone wanting to see his shifted form that this a lot less annoying in comparison.)

“It will probably be easiest if you sit in the chair. Spin it around, so that I can see your back. I’ll sit on the bed while I draw.”

“Sure.” Veery grabs the chair and positions it before stripping off all of his clothes and sitting backwards in it. The backrest makes a nice little bar to lean on, so he just crosses his arms, rests his chin on them, and closes his eyes.

“So, tell me,” Linhardt says as Veery begins hearing the scratching of charcoal on paper, “how did you learn that you have a Crest? If even Professor Hanneman and I didn’t suspect it, I don’t see why you and Claude were so suspicious that you went out of your way to test it.”

Veery purses his lips and swishes his tail. Should he say? Professor Hanneman already knows and whatever can be said about Linhardt, Veery doesn’t honestly think he’ll go out of his way to share the story. Claude does say Linhardt might have some insights, too, just like Professor Hanneman. Still… the more people that know the details, the more likely things will get out.

Then again, it’s not his heart that he particularly cares about. The Crest alone is the problem. The rest is just… detail.

He sighs. “It actually started when I asked Claude about the Heroes’ Relics.”

“Oh? What about them?”

“Well, I was confused because I thought the Sword of the Creator was made from Saint Seiros’ bones. You know, since everyone was saying that that’s what was in the casket and that casket is where the Sword was. Claude, uh, corrected me on that. I’m still learning the history, so… anyway.” Veery hums. “We started talking about the Crest Stones, and I mentioned that they sound a lot like my heart.”

“Your heart?” Linhardt asks. “What do you mean by that?”

Veery shrugs. “I mean, at the time I assumed human hearts are the same as agell, but, uh, there’s a special part of my heart. Claude calls it my Heart Stone. I just call it my heart. There’s not really any specific word for it in your language that I know of. But, basically it’s where my magic is centered. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to shift. I was taught that it’s where the soul is, too, and I know that some kind of power remains in it even after an agell dies.”

“I see how you would compare it to a Crest Stone, especially if you’re assuming the Relics themselves are made of bone. Say, would you mind if I examined your heart for a moment? I’d love a look at this for myself.”

Veery casts a suspicious look back to Linhardt. “…How?”

“With magic, of course. You won’t feel a thing. Probably. I’d only have to touch your chest for a moment.”

Well… that doesn’t sound so bad. “I guess.”

“Excellent.” Linhardt puts his drawing utensils aside and slips off the bed to approach him. He touches Veery’s shoulder first, and then leans over and places his other hand over Veery’s chest, and Veery feels his fur prickle with that familiar feeling of magic. “Interesting. It definitely is different than a human heart. There’s some sort of… well, I can hardly describe it better than you did. If only I could get my hands on a Crest Stone to compare…”

“Crest Stones are too big,” Veery says. “Or, at least, the one in the Lance of Ruin is. And I, uh… heard it. It’s not agell. Claude and I thought the same thing, but it’s something else.”

“You heard the Lance of Ruin? You can talk to the Relics?”

“Not like that.” Veery frowns. He’s going to have to explain what happened at Conand Tower. What fun.

He gets through it, eventually, and Linhardt doesn’t move much from where he stands holding his hand over Veery’s heart, and that tingle of magic doesn’t go away. “I see,” Linhardt murmurs. “Fascinating. How curious that all this seems to imply that Crests have their origins in a non-human species. What manner of creature might they be from, I wonder?”

“Claude asked that, too,” Veery says. “I don’t think there’s any way to know without finding them. If they’re not extinct. But given how similar they seem to be to agell…”

“Most likely, the original form of such creatures resembles that beast Miklan turned into.”

Veery wrinkles his nose. “I… Not exactly, but sort of. That thing is an abomination. With what I felt from the Lance of Ruin, it’s really no surprise it was so twisted. But… yes, it should probably look something like it. Vaguely.”

“Hmm…” Linhardt shifts his hand a little, furrowing his brow as he does whatever he’s doing. “And how much can you tell me about this corruption you felt from th-”

“Hey! Lin!” Veery yelps and jumps as the door of Linhardt’s room suddenly slams open. “Where’s th- Woah!!!”

As quickly, and loudly, as he comes in, Caspar turns around and slams the door shut. Veery winces, lamenting his poor ears. Linhardt sighs heavily.

“Sorry!” Caspar screams through the door. “I didn’t think you’d be- I mean I never expected- I mean- aaaAAAAAUUUGHHHH!”

“Caspar. Use your words, please,” Linhardt says flatly. “And come in. There’s no point in talking through the door.”

The door opens just enough for Caspar to poke his head through. “Really? Is it- NOPE! No! Still naked!” He slams the door once more, retreating outside.

“What is he freaking out about?” Veery asks, looking to Linhardt for clarification.

“The goddess only knows.” Linhardt sighs again. “Anyway, I’ll just get back to sketching these markings of yours.”

This is… weird, but Veery doesn’t pretend to understand humans. “Okay.” He leans on his arms again, closing his eyes. He can still hear shuffling outside, and not-very-quiet muttering. “…Caspar’s pacing outside the door,” he says, hoping Linhardt knows how to calm Caspar down.

(Veery isn’t even sure what has him riled up in the first place, so he’s passing the buck to Linhardt on this one.)

“Oh, for the love of- What did you need, Caspar?”

There’s a fiddling of the handle, like Caspar is going to open it but ultimately the door doesn’t swing open. “Why’s Veery naked in your room?!” Caspar asks suddenly, and very loudly.

“…Is that weird?” Veery asks. “I thought private rooms are where it’s appropriate to be naked.”

“They are,” Linhardt says. “Which is why we’re doing this here in the first place.”

“Gyaaah!” Caspar screams. “I do not need to hear this!”

“Oh, calm down, Caspar. You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” Linhardt says.

“What are you talking about?” Caspar screams. “I didn’t want to see that!”

“Then perhaps you should knock before entering someone else’s room.” Linhardt counters.

Veery just frowns. “I’m naked all the time when I shift, though, and no one cares about that.”

“AAARRRGGGHHHH! WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?! NOW I’M NEVER GOING TO UNSEE IT!!!!!!”

“Caspar!” A new voice joins the chorus, authoritative and stern. “You are making a scene. What in the world is all this screaming about?”

Caspar squeaks gracelessly. “Edelgard! Uh…”

Linhardt groans.

“I was just… um…”

“Explain yourself plainly, Caspar,” Edelgard says, tone cautioning. “And quickly.”

Caspar, for once, is deathly silent.

“Will you both,” Linhardt groans, “please leave me alone? I am quite busy.”

“Are you?” Edelgard asks before the door handle starts moving again. “Because if you are simply napping agai-” Her voice suddenly cuts off when she looks into the room and sees Veery.

For a long, long moment, they all stare in silence. Veery just leans on his arms and sighs. Edelgard’s face slowly turns a slightly concerning shade of red.

And then, as quickly as she comes, she turns around and slams the door shut. Veery swears he hears the wood splinter from the force, and his poor ears are ringing.

“Hey! That’s what I did too!” Caspar says, enthusiastic once more, for some reason.

“Humans are so weird,” Veery mutters. “What is even happening?”

Edelgard clears her throat. Loudly. “I… feel, as your house leader, that I should remind you, Linhardt, of the rules about sexual relations in the dorms.”

Linhardt blinks for a moment, looking dazed, or maybe dozing. “Oh, is that what this is about? Calm down, I have no interest in Veery.”

“Wait, this is about mating?” Veery asks. “Why would I do that with Linhardt?”

“Hey!” Caspar screams through the door. “Don’t talk about my best friend like that!”

“Like what?” Linhardt asks. “I concur, honestly. We hardly even know each other.”

“Then please,” Edelgard says, once more with control over her voice, “explain what exactly you are doing.”

“It is a simple examination,” Linhardt says. “I realized when we fought together in Abyss that his biology likely isn’t exactly the same as a human’s, so I’m giving him a full examination. So I can heal him better.”

Well. Looks like Linhardt really isn’t going to spread news of Veery’s Crest around if he’s lying even to his own house leader. Veery looks to Linhardt, who looks casual as ever – bored even, and feels… appreciative.

“Oh!” Caspar laughs. “Thank the goddess. I should’ve known it was something like that.”

“How… unexpectedly proactive of you,” Edelgard says slowly. “If that is the case, then good job, Linhardt. It is good to see you taking initiative for a change. Please remember to share your findings with Professor Manuela, and Mercedes and Marianne, the next time you see them.”

Linhardt yawns. “Sure. I’ll do that. Maybe.”

“You will,” Edelgard says firmly. “We’ll leave you alone now so you can perform your examination, but I expect to see your report in Professor Manuela’s hands as soon as you are finished.”

Veery hears her and Caspar walk away. “It appears I have no choice,” Linhardt says tiredly. “I will, of course, not report anything unnecessary but I will have to actually examine you. Frankly, Professor Manuela should have done so the moment you decided to assist with academy missions.”

Veery wrinkles his nose. He is told to get a physical exam with her before he starts participating in missions, but… “Professor Manuela smells like alcohol and disappointment. I don’t… really want her touching me. And I don’t trust the church.”

“That’s fair. I’m already stuck doing it anyway, so if you don’t mind.”

Veery sighs. “I guess. Thanks for covering.”

“Think nothing of it. I hardly want to deal with the consequences of Edelgard knowing about your Crest. Trust me, it’s a lot less trouble this way.”

Veery has no idea what Edelgard will do if she finds out, but she is definitely scary. Almost in the same way Lysithea is, except Veery trusts Lysithea a lot more, if mostly by virtue of the fact that she saves his hide several times in battle now.

“Besides,” Linhardt continues, “your Crest is simply too fascinating for me to give up the chance to study it. If I told Edelgard, I’d lose what little trust you’ve placed in me. Then getting you to agree to anything would be far more trouble than a simple examination.”

Ah, Linhardt is motivated by Veery agreeing to participate in his research. He… pretty much figures that already but it’s good to know. That makes Linhardt almost like Anna. Veery can trust him, in that he can trust him to be motivated by research, just like Anna is motivated by money.

Claude says understanding motivations is the key to understanding how people work. It seems true so far.

“So… you and Linhardt, huh?”

“I heard gossip. Is this about Caspar’s screaming the other day?”

“Ah, lovely Dorothea. Always a delight to see a girl as gorgeous as you.”

“Sylvain,” Dorothea coos. “Still incorrigible, I see.”

Veery glances up at the two of them, then down to his book, and debates whether he can slip away while they’re flirting with each other. (They’re so obvious about it, and their insincerity in it, that even Veery can tell. Though, one party being Sylvain, who he knows fairly well at this point, does help.)

Not a chance, as it turns out. Neither of them are sufficiently distracted by the other that they don’t round on him immediately the moment he shuts his book.

“I don’t believe it,” Dorothea says. “Neither Linhardt nor Veery are the type.”

“I heard even Edelgard saw you naked,” Sylvain teases, leaning close to Veery. “If I’d known you weren’t shy, I would’ve asked.”

Veery levels Sylvain with a flat look. “You want to see me naked?”

“A handsome man like you? How could I resist?”

“I mean… first of all, I’m not human.”

Dorothea snorts. “Ah, so the rumors are true! Sylvain truly will flirt with anything. Hey, Veery, I heard he even flirted with a scarecrow.”

“Hey!” Sylvain protests. “It was a realistic scarecrow, and I was little! Besides, it doesn’t matter if you’re human or not. You’re as much a person as anyone else, and just as worthy of love.”

“That’s cute, but, uh,” Veery says, “you do know you’ve already seen me naked, right?”

Sylvain blinks dumbly, recoiling a little. “I have?”

“Oh!” Dorothea exclaims. “Oh, you do have a point! I hadn’t thought of that!”

“What? There’s no way. I’d definitely remember if I saw you naked!”

Veery shakes his head, sighing. Dorothea pats him consolingly on the shoulder. “Why is it so surprising to humans that I’m naked when I shift? I literally sit around here shifted, but not wearing clothes inside Linhardt’s room is suddenly some huge issue?”

“When you’re shifte- oh. Oh… Now that you mention it… No, no that’s a bit too weird even for me.”

Dorothea gasps. “Someone even Sylvain won’t flirt with? Veery, you’re a natural treasure.”

“Sorry! I just can’t look at a cat that way!” Sylvain makes a face. “Like, I know it’s him, but…”

“You know, that’s actually an interesting question,” Dorothea hums. “Veery, what do you find attractive? Someone like me? Or Claude, perhaps? Or something more… feline?”

Veery screws up his nose. “If you’re asking if I’m attracted to housecats, that’s a big no. They’re tiny and weak and dumb. Like little babies but worse because they don’t grow out of it.”

“Ooh, harsh words for the poor cats,” Sylvain says.

Dorothea giggles. “So, you find the human form attractive then?”

“Uh… I mean… your ears are weird.”

“Ha! I suppose they would be, to you,” Dorothea says. “But when you look for love, would you ever be with a human, or would you go back and find an agell to be with?”

Veery shrugs. “Love? As in, the dating kind? I… don’t think I’m interested in your kind of dating. Sylvain took me on a date once and I think I’d rather just take a nap.”

“Ouch!” Sylvain says, feigning offense. “And here I thought we had a good time!”

“It wasn’t bad,” Veery clarifies, “I just don’t get it.”

“How do the agell choose their partners, then?” Dorothea asks. “If it’s so different.”

Veery shrugs. “It depends. From what Sylvain’s told me, you humans usually pick one person to bond with for life. For us, it’s different. I mean, we do have life partners – a couple kinds, actually, but I think you’re asking about the kind you raise a cub with? I guess the best human equivalent to that would be marriage, but it’s not necessarily just one partner. For obvious reasons, I’ve never been very interested in that. But we don’t have the same concept of… what’d that girl call it, Sylvain? Unfidelity, or something?”

Sylvain makes an odd sound in his throat. “The prefix is in-,” he says. “And we don’t need to talk about that.”

Ah, infidelity. That does sound right. “Anyway,” Veery continues, “don’t ask me how they pick their partners, because I have no idea. Mating is more obvious than picking a life partner. I guess mostly because I’m around at the festivals to see it. Not that I ever took part myself. I’ve said it before, I was kind of a recluse even when I went to those gatherings, so a lot of that stuff goes over my head.”

Dorothea purses her lips. “If you have partners outside of the one you start your family with, how do you know if the cub you’re raising is yours at all?”

Veery just blinks at her. “You’re raising it.” After another moment, it clicks in his head what she is probably actually asking. “Or, do you mean if you fathered it? Does that matter?”

Though he doesn’t understand why, Dorothea takes a moment, working her jaw, brow furrowed like she doesn’t quite know how to respond to that. “I suppose not,” she admits in the end.

“Nobles tend to put a lot of importance on lineage,” Sylvain says. “And to an extent, even commoners usually care about who their biological parents are. It must be nice to not have to think about that kind of thing, one way or another.”

“I actually agree,” Dorothea says. “And if it doesn’t matter to anyone who the actual father is, then it makes sense that you’d be more lax about who sleeps with who. Still, such behavior would be social suicide here. Just look at Sylvain!”

“Hey!”

Veery chuckles. “Well, there’s not a lot of us, so breeding is typically encouraged. I know that much. If a girl is willing to have cubs and finds someone she thinks is suitable, there’s not much more to it.” He hums. “If I remember right, there is a… fertility issue. Is that how you would say it? It’s hard to have cubs, even if you mate often. It’s part of why there are so few of us now, and that’s my guess at why so much of that happens at the festivals. Gatherings have more potential mates – more mates is a greater chance of having a cub. Probably.”

“Wait,” Sylvain says, “so it’s normal for festivals to get freaky?”

“Definitely. We live spread out, so if we’re gathering together anyway, you know.” Veery shrugs. “You should see the midsummer festival.” He makes a face. “There’s a reason I like the sunrise one better, even though I like the sun.”

“You can’t mean…” Sylvain laughs, “Ha! Maybe I should visit Albinea.”

“Sylvain would fit right in in a festival like that,” Dorothea sighs. “If he could get over the cats.”

“Oh, yeah, a lot of it is shifted,” Veery says. “It doesn’t matter to us.”

Sylvain blanches, and then eyes Veery. “Well…”

“Sylvain, no!” Dorothea reaches over to smack the back of his head. “Ingrid would be furious with me if I let you start thinking like that! It’s good that you think it’s weird.”

“Ow! What? It’s not like he’s an animal! He’s just… goddess, I’m getting used to the idea. Hit me again.”

“Gladly.” Dorothea smirks wickedly as she smacks him again, significantly harder if the sound if any indication.

“Ah geez! You didn’t have to hit me that hard!”

“How dare you think about cute little Veery like that! Didn’t you hear him say he doesn’t partake in that kind of thing? I won’t have you ruining his innocence.”

Sylvian snorts. “I don’t know. If I’ve got the right image of this midsummer festival, I’m not sure anything I can do wil- ow! Hey!”

“What did I say?”

“He’s the one that brought it up!”

Veery snickers. “I don’t mind,” he says. “I mean, I’m not interested, but it’s nice to think that a human can see past that kind of thing. Usually, humans only want us for our fur. Not that.” He giggles.

“Sylvain…” Dorothea warns, glaring daggers at him.

“Hey, I never said I was into that!” Sylvain protests. “I’m not! Stop looking at me like that!”

“But you were considering it.”

“Only because it’s Veery!” Sylvain pouts. “I mean, if you wanted to do something freaky in bed, I’d consider it, too.”

Dorothea snorts. “That… almost sounded sincere.”

“I’m always sincere, baby.”

“And, of course, you ruin it,” Dorothea sighs, shaking her head. “Just stay away from poor Veery, okay?”

“Hey, I’m closer to him than you are! Besides, he can rip my heart out with his bare hands, probably. If he was bothered by my flirting, I’d back off.”

Dorothea raises her brow. “Like you back off of Ingrid?”

“Come on! I’ve known Ingrid my whole life! That’s different! That’s just annoying her because we’re friends!”

Veery giggles at their antics. “Dorothea, I really don’t mind. Trying to figure out what he’s saying is actually helping me a lot with understanding when I watch other humans do things like that.”

Dorothea sighs in defeat. “I suppose if you say so I can’t stop him… still, if he bothers you, just let me know, okay?”

“Heh, sure!” Veery smiles as Sylvain grimaces.

[tatakaebomb]

Stranger danger

ꕥ Pairing : Dabi x Reader

ꕥ Synopsis : You cant always go around being so naive. Not everything in the world is flowers and rainbows. Always come prepared, you never know what strangers are watching you..

ꕥ Word count : 2k

ꕥ TW : non con, dub con, dacryphilia tbf, aggressive themes, mean dom!dabi, smut, sex, aggravated themes, spanking, punishment, fingering, squirting, harsh fcking, y/n kinda bratty, deception, forced orgasm, orgasm denial, repayment, sadism, bdsm suggestion, degrading, swearing, ignored pleading, finger scissoring, dumbification, dick piercing, probs more warnings idk, 18+.

Life was different now you moved to Japan. Busier streets, friendlier people. However you never got to live that real experience, instead, sadly you were stuck with the darker side of japan. Cheap torn down buildings, hardly any running water. Your education was prioritised yet you just couldn't seem to reside anywhere...affordable.

Your luggage trailed behind you as you strolled down multiple alley ways. It was 1am at this point and you were petrified for your life. The westernised side of the world you moved from had you completely thrilled for the new experience, but this wasn't what you were entailed for.

Leaving location till last minute was your own doing. You thought it would be easier when you actually arrived here however clearly not. At this point you were preparing to settle on the streets for the night, not a blink of sleep being settled through your system.

The rattling noise of your wheels caught the attention of people, quiet mumbles and whispers being shared from people watching you, silently surrounding you waiting for their move to prance and steal everything you have.

'Well well...who do we have hear?' A stoic voice leaked from behind you. Your head spun around only to be faced with the sight of a taller man. Shining blue eyes and taunting expressions, hands recklessly slumped into his pockets as he gazes at the prey he's just caught.

'Wh- who are you?' You stumble over your words, scared for what's going to happen next.

'I'm not gonna hurt you doll. What's got a pretty girl like you out so late? Guessing your not from here hm...?'

Sounds genuine, maybe he's actually tryna help. Your heart rate settled in slightly as you observed him more, harmless and didn't have any weaponry on him, besides what's the worst that could come out of this situation anyways.

'I'm not- no. I've just moved here but I don't really have anywhere to stay.' Your head turned to the side slightly, realising how stupid those words are now they spilt out of your mouth.

'Hm...what's your name?'

'Y/N...'

'Dabi. Well doll I mean, I could help you with your issue if you want? Better off trusting a stranger than any chance of getting murdered on these streets' a slight laugh escaped from his lips as he imagined the scenario of you vulnerable and exposed to all and every bad. But you didn't see it like that, maybe he was tryna lighten the situation.

'I don't even know you.'

'True. Understandable. I mean if you wanna be stranded here suit yourself.' He shrugged. Turning around to walk off as you contemplated your ridiculous choices in this impulsive trip.

'Wait-...I guess I'll come with you'

-

'So this is where you live?'

Flicking on a light you got a glimpse of what looked more like a hide out. Ripped sofa with a dodgy TV sitting infront of it. Beers cans thrown everywhere on the floor as the kitchen was nothing but empty. Tap dripping slightly as the dishes looked like they hadn't been touched for weeks.

The bedroom was no better. One master bed with the covers not even done properly. Clothes scattered everywhere, socks and underwear on the window ceil as blunt cigarette buds thrown across the floor.

'Yep. Got a problem?'

'Nope no problem...' You wanted to get out of there, but what other hope was there. Your only choice is to look for other places in the morning, for now you can resign here.

'Take the couch. There's blankets on the floor. But there's always room next to me.' A cigarette drew from his lips as you observed the place you were staying in. Lips curling into a smirk as he watched you tremble slightly in his presence. His body slumped onto the door frame.

'Why are you doing this? I don't know you.'

'That's exactly why doll.' His face moved closer to yours as he blew smoke straight into your face, hand moving to brush hair over your ear as he watched your doe eyes almost melt.

'What?'

'I wanna get to know you better. Pretty girls like you don't come round often...' he pushed you more into the other side of the door frame. Fingers moving to tweeze slightly at your vest strap. Observing the way the material slaps straight back at your skin.

'You know doll, your way too gullible to be out in Japan. Maybe you need somebody like me with you at all times, you know, helping you.'

'L-look I'll give you money. Anything. P-please let me go- don't hurt me...' you stammer over your words in fear, frozen up with so little space to move as his fingers begin to curl around your bra strap, eyes darting up to meet yours back again.

'Hm- I wasn't gonna hurt you doll. But now you said it doesn't sound like a bad idea... and I don't want your money, you can repay me in other ways' a snarl rose on his lips as he inched closer to you, breath melting on your face as you shivered in fear.

'Your so naieve. Usually people don't just rush into peoples homes like this, you must be real desperate. Don't worry I'll take good care of you doll.'

His lips quickly latched onto yours as his hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you tightly close towards him, tongue lapping at your saliva that leaves every time you frantically attempt to shut your mouth.

He guides you towards his bed, hand pushing the back of your head towards his mouth as he manages to push you down and climb on top of you, mouth inching lower and lower onto your bare skin as he began kissing gently on your neck.

'No- NO PLEASE- I- I- I don't d- w-' you felt yourself beginning to melt into his warm touch as he started to suck a deep mark into the sensitive part of your neck, hand clawing at his body as your eyes were slammed closed.

'Mm try hurt me doll- I'll just hurt you worse.'

His threat shot through you as you felt yourself almosy submitting to him. Back starting to arch as he dragged the sleeves of your top of. Bra on full display as he moved away from your body. Admiring the sight beneath him.

Makeup washed over your face as tears sobbed from your lips, red lips pouty and sore as your eyes were innocent and raw.

Dabi liked nothing more than a ruined woman. You were precious, prettiest sight he's ever seen.

'GET OFF OF ME.' You screamed managing to throw a push hard enough to get his body off of you. He tumbled back slightly as you attempted to run for the door.

Suddenly you felt you cheek go red. Harsh collision made your eyes twitch as your go to relieve yourself of the pain. He slapped you. You were so in shock from the pain you didn't even notice the sadistic smile making his way on his face.

'So you wanna be a brat hm? Okay. Two can play at that game.'

Grabbing your body he pushed your arms behind your back. Throwing you so your ass was pushed flush against his crotch. His other free hand moving to push your back into a lower arch as he pushed his hard cock against your clothed ass. The skirt beginning to hike up leaving your cotton panties on almost full display.

'Count with me doll- 1-'

His hand flew down to slap the flabby skin on your ass. His dick getting harder with every whine that escaped your lips.

'I said FUCKING COUNT!' He hiked the material of your skirt up completely as he painfully pinched your ass leaving you sobbing.

'O-one.'

'2'

SLAP

'Two...'

'3'

SLAP

'T-three p-please stop il-'

'4'

SLAP

'FOUR'

'You sound so good when you scream. Try not to be too loud for this last one hm princess'

Before comprehending his words you felt him practically force through you. Hand leaving the harshest mark, blistering your skin slightly as you screamed heavily into the pillows. His hand loosely letting go of the one grabbing your arms to take a drag from his cigarettes. His line of sight catching the way you had a growing wet patch leaking from your panties.

'Fuck doll your actually getting off to this? Fucking slut'

'N-no...' you weakly protested. Panting heavily tryna catch your breath from all the crying and loss off energy.

'Shutup brat. Fuck- your dripping...' he pushed your panties to a side. Fingers scissoring inside of you investing the mess you made all by yourself. Sinister smug smile coming to rest on him. Happy hums escaping his throat as he was content with the abuse he was giving.

Before you know it you mindlessly began fucking yourself on your fingers, moans spewing out of your mouth as you pushed yourself on and off of his fingers, dabis crotch getting tighter at the sight of you.

'Mm- dabi t-not enough..need you.' You mindlessly ached for him. Hand reaching back to grab at him and you look over your shoulder. His blue eyes beaming into yours as he almost came at the sight of how submissive you were being.

'You finally want me hm? Alright doll I'll show you whose really boss'

You heard the clicking noises of his belt coming undone. Your thirsty eyes coming into contact with his length as you admired the size. The Prince Albert piercing glowing out to you as your saliva began to almost drip out of your mouth. Dabis ego was no smaller at this point.

In one quick movement he thrusted fast inside you. Hands reaching to rest on both side of your waist as he rubbed small circles into your hip. Pleas and cries escaping you as you start to hump yourself on him.

'F-fuck s-stop that. Shit fine you wanna get fucked hard? I'll fuck you hard'

'DABI!!' You screamed. He quickly began thrusting in you, metallic piercing hitting your clit every time as you practically screamed in pain and pleasure. Little head mounted down into the covers beneath you as you gripped the sheets harshly. Your head lifting up every now and then with every hard push.

'A-ah yes like that yes yes yes' you moaned. Eyes rolling to the back of your head with the feeling of your bruised cervix. Legs trembling as he constantly watched the way your hole tightened around him. Gaping every time he pulled it even millimetres out.

'D-dabi I'm g-gonna cum-'

'No your not. Hold it until I fucking say so slut. Got it?'

His mouth came close to your ear as he continued pounding inside you. Your mind swirling at the thought of your denied release. His tongue licked at your skin as you heard a slightly moan escape his lips before he spoke. Teeth gritted sadistic words.

'Cum before me and I'll eat you out with hot sauce. Got it'

What the fuck.

He returned to slamming inside you. Your hole getting tighter in an attempt to not release over him.

'Mmm your so good for me doll. So glad this ass is all mine' he rubbed the skin gently before laying a harsh Mark, fingers clawing inside your ass as you screamed. Attempting to push him off but he had the dominance over the two.

'Stay sti- still now doll f-fuck'

Quickly you felt yourself being filled up. Warm cum pooling inside your stomach As he still prodded inside of you. Fucking himself out of his release.

'Fucking cum with me slut'

On instant you felt yourself squirt, liquids spraying everywhere as dabi was nothing less but mesmerised the way you just did that on order. Little Whiney voice screaming as you slumped down on the bed tired. Half shut eyes looking back to stare at the way his head was still thrown back as he threw small slow thrusts inside of you. Milking himself to the very end.

'You look so pretty like that- f-fuck. Wanna get on your knees for me now doll... pay this months rent in advance hm?'

[mixelation]

part 2 (also unproofed because life is hard) ->

Tori had completely lost control of the situation. She’d obviously known that she’d been taking a risk talking to the Yellow Flash, but how could she have possibly predicted he’d be the one to show up? And how could she have gotten out of that situation without talking to him?

She’d figured playing traitor would have optimized her chances of making it out of that interaction alive. No one in Oto had known she’d trapped Genma in a barrier, so she wasn’t too worried about any of that getting back to them… but if lying to the Hokage had also convinced him to drop her off somewhere away from war and Orochimaru, wouldn’t that have been convenient?

Plus the Yellow Flash had seemed… he just had the aura of someone who seemed like he was on your side. She’d wanted to trust him, and now she was in the clutches of an enemy village that knew she was an Oto-nin in training. 

Stupid handsome Hokage, Tori thought as she followed Genma out the door for a loss of anything else to do but obey. I’m an idiot. He’s not any better than Orochimaru. 

She tried to urge her parasympathetic system to calm down as she followed Genma down some stairs. Konoha ninja were absolutely everywhere, passing by them in the stairwell, their voices drifting down corridors. Tori didn’t want to admit this scared her, but it did. Meeting a Konoha ninja under circumstances she hadn’t created herself meant they could recognize her as Oto and hurt her. Tori desperately wanted to flee and hide somewhere. 

Genma led her down two flights of stairs and then a hallway, knocking on a door that read DIRECTOR OF FUUINJUTSU SPECIALIZATIONS. Tori’s heart rate sped up even more. 

“Come in!” a woman’s voice called, and then Tori was looking at someone who could only be Uzumaki Kushina. 

I guess it makes sense she’s alive too, Tori thought dully as Kushina greeted Genma brightly from behind her desk. Kushina was in a standard Jounin uniform, her long red hair spilling over her shoulders. 

“And who is this cutie?” Kushina said, turning her attention to Tori. “An academy student?”

Genma made a pained voice in the back of his throat. 

“Hokage-sama didn’t give me much instruction, just that I should take her to you,” he said. “I don’t really know what I’m allowed to share…”

Kushina turned her gaze back to Genma, looking confused. Genma cleared his throat awkwardly. 

“Her name is Reina,” he said lamely. “She… we picked her up in Sound Country. Excuse me, I have to go to my medical exam.”

Genma exited the office as quickly as he could without actually running. Kushina’s brow turned down in obvious confusion, but she gestured for Tori to sit in one of the chairs across from her desk. 

“Did the Hokage tell you what I’m supposed to do with you?” Kushina asked, smiling widely the way adults did with kids. 

“No,” Tori replied. She had no idea what was happening, and she was currently fighting to look calm through a panic attack. 

Unfortunately, emotional regulation was much more difficult in a child body than in an adult one. Tori stuttered out something about being confused and then burst into tears. 

Embarrassing, Tori thought, wiping her tears as Kushina leapt up and came around her desk with a handkerchief. 

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t cry,” Kushina cooed. She crouched down and reached towards Tori’s face with the handkerchief, and Tori shoved her hands away on instinct. Kushina, squatting in front of her so her head was lower than hers, frowned up at her in concern. 

Tori hadn’t seen an adult look at her with that much open concern since she’d been reincarnated. It freaked her out. She cried harder. 

This could not get more embarrassing, Tori thought hopelessly as Kushina offered her the handkerchief to clean her own face. Tori took it; at least Kushina would think she was harmless. Crying hysterically as a small child was pretty disarming. 

Tori managed to get herself under control after a few moments, enough to say groggily, “Sorry. I also don’t know what’s going on.”

Kushina stood and then plopped down in the other chair on this side of the desk. 

“Yeah, and I imagine that’s way scarier for you than it is for Genma,” she said. 

“Um, yeah,” Tori said. Probably at some point Kushina would find out what Tori had done to Genma. But she didn’t have to find out right now.

“Let’s see,” Kushina said, tapping her chin in thought. “Why would the Hokage bring you to Konoha…? Did you ask to come here, maybe? Or ask for help?”

It was sort of cute, that this would be Kushina’s first thought. Why would a girl from Sound Country willingly ask a Konoha ninja for help? They, along with multiple other villages, had been the ones to fuck up the country. Some of the local civilians around Oto had an okay relationship with the Konoha camps, now that the fighting had died down, because now civilians had more things to share, and the situation was stable enough that Konoha-nin were willing to trade supplies and sometimes even labor. But no one in Sound would go to Konoha for help unless there were no other options. 

Then again, for a certain point of view, Tori had kind of asked for help, hadn’t she?

“Sort of,” Tori said, kicking her legs under the chair. “I told him I’d rather leave my… my village.”

“Eh?” Kushina asked, eyebrows raised. “Why?”

“They’re not very nice,” Tori said delicately. Then, in an attempt to change the subject, she said, “Hey, did your door say you do fuuinjustu?”

Kushina brightened. “I sure do! Do you like fuuinjutsu, Reina-chan?”

Tori was sure that the fact that she was here in a Konoha and the fact that she’d all but admitted she’d designed that barrier seal were related. Probably the Hokage had sent her down here for fuuinjutsu related reasons, although it was unclear what his exact goal was. In any case, it seemed like just admitting she was studying it was a safe thing to say. She let Kushina ramble about her job for a bit, then accepted a beginner’s manual on fuuinjutsu. 

“You look over that while I do my own work, okay, Reina-chan?”

Kushina made her scoot her seat over into a corner, to give Kushina room to work without Tori spying. Tori thought this was annoying but fair, as she would absolutely snoop on what Kushina was doing if given the opportunity, no matter how scared she was of Konoha. 

There wasn’t much new material for Tori in this manual, but some of the basic arrays were slightly different from the one’s she’d learned, and it wasn’t like reviewing basics would hurt. And it was quite definitely an activity that felt safe. Tori flipped through the book obediently while Kushina worked away, and she tried to ignore her mounting anxiety over what the hell was happening. 

Why had the Yellow Flash sent her to his wife? She got the sense he was interested in her barrier seal, and she could think of several things about the design that would be out of the ordinary. But she didn’t know what in particular had piqued his interest, or why she was here instead of with T&I. Kushina seemed friendly enough, but Tori had no idea if she was actually safe or not. Was this some sort of calm before a storm? 

I wanted to go to Hot Water Country and live in a spa, Tori thought, pouting to herself. Maybe she could escape and get to southern Fire Country, where they had beach resorts and stuff. 

Eventually, Kushina announced she was done for the day and had to go pick up her kid. 

“We’ll go ask Hokage-sama what he wants to do with you, I guess,” she said, then led Tori back up the stairs. The tower was still packed with ninja, and Kushina took Tori’s hand like she was a real eight year old. Tori’s heart still pounded in her chest, but her anxiety levels seemed to have hit a plateau. 

The Hokage’s secretary, seated right outside the door to his office, physically stood up and blocked Kushina from going in. 

“His meeting is running long,” she said, “and I’m meant to emphasize that this one is very important, Kushina-san. Not even you should interrupt.”

Kushina put both hands on her hips.

“He left me with a kid, though,” she said. “He didn’t pass on any instructions?” 

He hadn’t, and so after a lot of hemming and hawing, Kushina retook Tori’s hand and led her to go pick up her son from his daycare. 

“It’s better you stick with me,” Kushina decided, nodding to herself. “We can’t let a cute kid like you getting lost or in trouble, you know?”

“Sure,” Tori agreed. Then, because she realized that if this interaction was going to be sustained all day, she’d probably need to lay the groundwork for knowing a bunch of things a regular child wouldn’t, she asked, “What did that lady mean, when she said ‘not even you’? Are you really important or something?”

Kushina let out a barking laugh. 

“You picked up on that, huh?” she said. “Well, my job is pretty important, but what she meant was that the Hokage is my husband.” Kushina turned her head to Tori and grinned wide enough that her eyes crinkled up. “That means I get to interrupt his meetings more than anyone else, you know.” 

Tori nodded. Okay. Now she had an excuse for insight into their family dynamics when they… picked up Naruto…?

What was happening? She’d stuck a Konoha Jounin in a death trap. Why was she following the Hokage’s wife down the street instead of being thrown into T&I? And how much sway did Kushina have over the Yellow Flash’s decisions? Could Tori save herself from what horrors awaited her in T&I if she buddied up to Kushina?

Tori liked trickery, but she had no idea what was happening! How was she supposed to make a plan?

They’d gotten about a block from the Hokage’s Tower, and Kushina tugged Tori into the shade of  an awning over a now-closed bakery. 

“Hey, Reina-chan, are you alright?” Kushina asked, leaning over her. 

Tori was hyperventilating, or something. Stupid child body. 

“Am I going to get in trouble?” she asked, her voice cracking with barely repressed stress tears. “Is the Yellow Flash going to send me to be interrogated when he gets out of his meeting?”

“Oh, honey, no!” Kushina immediately answered, placing both hands on Tori’s shoulders. “I know you must have heard all sorts of scary stories about him, and I can’t tell you what he wants. But he wouldn’t send you to me if he wanted to send you to T&I, you know. Probably he just wants to chat.”

What does THAT mean? Tori thought, hysterical. 

On the bright side, she’d seemed to have pulled Kushina onto her side. Kushina continued to lead her down the street, but now she was offering Tori a long list of promises about a warm dinner and a hot bath. Tori had purposefully called the Hokage the Yellow Flash to remind Kushina that she’d grown up thinking of him as a deadly enemy, but it had worked better than she’d thought. Kushina wanted to show her full Konoha hospitality, or… something. 

I wonder what Genma would think of this, Tori thought, and a smile cracked across her face. 

Naruto wasn’t in a formal daycare; he appeared to be staying at some lady’s apartment. The woman looked distinctly Akimichi to Tori, with soft curves and rusty orange hair with bolts of gray through it. She disentangled Naruto from play-wrestling with another kid who was likely another Akimichi, and then set him down in front of Kushina while she finished backing up a child’s backpack. 

He’s so little, Tori thought blinking down at Naruto. He’s be, what? Four?

“Were you good for Chouma-san today?” Kushina asked, reaching forward to attempt to smooth Naruto’s hair. Predictably, the attempt failed. 

“Very good today,” the Akimichi lady said with a chuckle. “He only had to be told twice to eat his vegetables.”

“I told you,” Naruto said, “I’d eat them more if they tasted good, you know!” Then Naruto pointed directly at Tori’s face. “Who’s this?”

“This is Reina,” Kushina said, and Tori watched as the Akimichi lady continued to pack the bag like she couldn’t hear them. “She’s going to be having dinner with us, so be nice, okay?”

Wait, Tori was?

The Akimichi lady passed over the backpack, noting that she’d made extra manju and added them to the bag. 

“Wow, thanks!” Kushina said. “See you tomorrow, Chouma-san!”

Kushina looped the tiny backpack over one shoulder and then held both Tori and Naruto’s hands as they walked down the metal steps of the apartment building and then down the street. Naruto swung her arm happily for a while, then leaned forward to peer across Kushina at Tori. 

“Chouma-san is married to a boring civilian guy,” Naruto told her knowingly. “But she used to be a war general–”

“Gosh, Naruto!” Kushina cut him off with a huff. “We told you not to tell people that, you know!”

“But it’s cool,” Naruto protested. 

“A good ninja knows how to keep a secret, kiddo!”

Tori covered her mouth to hide a giggle. 

The house Kushina led them to was completely normal looking from the front. It was in a sleepy residential neighborhood, and nothing set it apart as being the Hokage’s house until Kushina set her hand and the front doorknob and a seal briefly flashed across the wood of the door. It didn’t last long enough for Tori to make out any details, but as she followed Kushina inside, she found more seal script crawling along the door frame and the window sills. 

“Naruto, go find Reina some slippers,” Kushina said as she hung up his backpack on a coat rack, then turned to Tori. “Oh! Bet you’ve never seen anything like that before, huh?”

The seals, painted carefully in black ink, were an Uzushio practice. A lot of them wouldn’t do anything; their purpose was to keep out bad luck while trapping all the love of the family inside. Kushina was happy to babble about them, long enough for Naruto to get bored and start yanking on her flack vest. 

“Where’s Dad?” he demanded. 

“Where do you think he is?” Kushina replied. “His meeting is going late. He’ll be home soon, kid.”

Naruto pouted, then turned to Tori. “Do you want to see my room?”

If you had told Tori this morning that she’d end up in Uzumaki Naruto’s bedroom, playing a board game with him in which he seemed to be making up all the rules as he went, she wouldn’t believe you. That seemed out there, even for her. 

She had absolutely no idea how the Yellow Flash would react to her being left alone with his kid. This seemed like the type of thing he wouldn’t like. But Tori wasn’t the type of person to take advantage of a little kid, even if he was… annoying? He was kind of annoying. 

“The orange pieces can teleport,” Naruto told her, which definitely wasn’t true and was absolutely cheating. He moved one of his pieces all the way across the board. 

Whatever. It was important for kids to learn lessons about cheating. 

“Well, if the orange pieces can teleport and the blue ones can surf the water…” Tori started, and then rearranged her pieces to take a bunch of Naruto’s. He looked at her with a certain juvenile horror that was, honestly, pretty funny. 

She did let Naruto win, but he seemed unhappy about it. 

“You’re a meanie,” he said, squinting up at her with deep suspicion. 

“I just followed the rules you gave me,” Tori replied innocently. 

The Yellow Flash did finally make an appearance, just as Kushina was putting food on the table. He blipped into existence in the dining room, making Tori jump. He looked oddly windswept, although his expression turned to one of relief when he saw Tori. 

“Oh good, she is with you,” he said. 

“Did you think you lost her?” Kushina asked. “Minato, you can’t just stick a random child with me with no instructions, you know!”

Tori picked up her chopsticks. If this argument turned into her getting sent to T&I, she wanted a full meal before she went. It smelled amazing.

“Did Genma not brief you?” the Yellow Flash said, sounding pained. 

“He said she’s from Sound and that’s it,” Kushina said, cocking one hip and putting a hand on it. “Reina-chan’s been keeping me company all day, but I don’t know why.”

“You didn’t talk about… fuuinjutsu?” 

Tori shoveled food into her mouth as Naruto’s eyes darted between her and his parents. Oh yeah. This was going to go downhill real fast. The two adults were doing a good job of keeping their voices level, but Tori had watched a lot of civil conversations devolve into screaming matches in her time. 

Except then they just… didn’t. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t make my orders clearer,” Minato said. “I was juggling a lot of things in the moment.”

“No, I get that,” Kushina said. “It was no trouble. I just wish I’d had a better idea of what I was doing.”

They all sat down to eat, like a normal loving family. What the fuck?

“Reina-chan!” Kushina chided. “Did you already start? In Konoha that’s considered very rude, you know.”

“Uh,” Tori said. 

“I brought Reina-chan back with me because she used a very interesting seal,” MInato said brightly. “Reina-chan, if you’re done eating, why don’t you tell us about it?”

“Did you just take a child because you wanted to hear more about a seal?” Kushina asked, frowning. 

“Er…”

Right. Okay. So Tori wasn’t being imprisoned for some reason. That was great, actually. She was happy to throw the Yellow Flash a bone if it meant eating good food and not being imprisoned. 

“I asked him to,” she said brightly. “Cuz I’m an orphan and my clan kicked me out, and everyone was mistreating me.”

“R-right,” Minato said. “She asked to be… saved…?”

“Yeah,” Tori agreed. She smiled brightly at the Yellow Flash from across. The look he sent back to her was unreadable but definitely positive. 

“Okay,” Kushina said slowly. “I guess that’s… fine?”

“Is getting kicked out of a clan bad?” Naruto asked. “Did she do something bad? Cuz Reina’s a real meanie, you know.”

“It’s bad, Naruto, but it was bad of the clan, not Reina-chan,” the Yellow Flash lectured. “Kids can’t do things bad enough to get kicked out, because they’re kids. Anyway, Reina-chan did something really funny…”

The Yellow Flash seemed downright excited about Reina’s seal, even if she’d used it to trap Genma definitely for seemingly no reason. He described it to Kushina in detail with a lot of enthusiasm, like Tori hadn’t potentially scared Genma for life. 

Tori stared down at her empty plate, regretting speed eating instead of just enjoying her meal. What was happening? Was she safe or not?

“Reina-chan, did you make the seal?” Kushina prompted. Tori’s head snapped up. 

Well, if she was safe because the Hokage liked her fuuinjutsu and his wife thought she was cute, she might as well play it up. This situation couldn’t be worse than anything Oto might throw at her, at least.

“Oh, yes, I did,” she said. “I designed it and everything. Um, also could you please call me by my real name? I’m Tori.”

The Yellow Flash looked surprised for a second, then grinned at her. “Of course, Tori-chan.”

He did truly seem easy to trust, even more so than Orochimaru on his most charismatic days. 

What a dangerous man, Tori thought. I wonder if I can get dessert?

first part of velocity (unproofed bc i am running out the door) ->

Minato was stressed. 

“Then Orochimaru has Shiranui,” Danzo intoned, dead confident even though Shikaku’s report on the situation had included dozens of unknowns. “No one else in the area could pose a threat to a Jounin of Konoha.”

“We still don’t know anything about this new village,” Minato pointed out, “or what clans joined it. There could still be lone actors–”

“Please,” Danzo interrupted, unimpressed. “No Sound ninja could disappear a Jounin so thoroughly.”

“With all due respect,” Minato said tightly, “you have not been on the frontlines in decades. Does anyone who’s actually been to Sound have any thoughts?”

Had Minato even invited Danzo to this meeting? He barely even remembered calling the meeting. Meetings just happened, now that he was Hokage. Turns out that’s all being Hokage was: things happened, and then instead of doing anything about them, Minato sat around listening to high ranking ninja explain their opinions. Oh, and sometimes he stamped things. Forms. Proposals. Budgets. Paperwork.

Four years ago, Minato had been spending most of his time on the frontlines. Going from the most hands-on possible approach to this had been a rough transition, and he had perhaps relied too heavily on the ancient Hokage's Council as a result. 

The war was slowly coming to a stop now, and he could definitely make some moves to bring in younger people with more recent experience. But for now, he had to work with what was in place. For this meeting, that was Shikaku, an ex-field commander he’d nab in the hallway because she’d been stationed in Sound, and a bunch of old people. 

“Danzo-sama is right in that we’ve knocked out most of their known major players,” the ex field commander drawled. “But you never know, out there in the boonies. They’re not like us; they just let any ninja wander around and chop up whoever they want.”

To illustrate this, she held up her right arm, which ended not with a hand but with a wiry assistive device meant to let her hold a writing utensil. 

“...right,” Shikaku said slowly. “Inuzuka last caught his scent near the new… village, if we’re calling it that… but we can’t pin it on them, and we also can’t eliminate some other third party.”

Genma had only been officially missing a scant thirty hours. He’d been en route between camps for normal restationing and missed his check-in. If he were most ninja, this would not have warranted a meeting. It probably would have been dealt with locally, shoved into a summary report, and Minato probably wouldn’t have found out for days that anything at all had happened. If this had been at the height of the war, even someone like Genma might have gotten this treatment. 

But the war was waning, and Genma was part of the Hokage’s guard. As someone intimately familiar with Minato’s personal life and the inner workings of Hokage tower, Genma was important enough to warrant a quick investigation, and they had the people and time to dedicate to it. 

“Why was Shiranui even in Sound?” Koharu asked. 

Minato leaned back in his seat, biting his thumbnail in thought. He really didn’t see the need to have a full guard inside the village, and morale at field camps was usually better when popular Jounin like Genma were hanging around. Minato had seen it as more useful to have him running chores out in the field. 

It was true that a Hokage’s guard would be a great hostage, if some nefarious player wanted to re-escalate war. 

That would be so many meetings, Minato thought. He really couldn’t have that. 

The meeting wrapped up with barely a plan in place, as was what happened at many meetings. Shikaku would send word to both camps to re-sweep the area, and then Minato would add it to his agenda at yet another meeting to rearrange people to put together a tracking team instead of just one random Inuzuka who happened to be on duty. 

Miraculously, one of his afternoon meetings was canceled. Someone had died. Such was life as a shinobi. 

“I could move up your meeting with the fruit vendors’ union,” his secretary said. 

“Please don't,” Minato replied. He hated talking to those guys. 

His secretary left, and Minato immediately felt antsy. It was very rare he had an hour free like this in the middle of the day. What could he do? Take a nap? Kidnap Naruto away from his babysitter for a playtime speedrun? Bother Kushina? He glanced at the clock. No, Naruto would be down for a nap and Kushina would be meeting with the Academy headmaster about their curriculum on storage scrolls again… 

Minato glanced down at the mess of paperwork on his desk. He really, really didn’t want to do any of it right now. How was his job both stressful and boring? He liked being free to see his little family most evenings, and he mostly liked acting as a leader. But he’d thought he’d get more time to just be a ninja. 

Actually, he thought. Was he not his own boss? Was there not a pressing problem he couldn’t just solve right now?

Sound Country had been home to several major ninja pathways, camps, and battles during this war. Minato had plenty of Hiraishin markers scattered around, including along the path Genma would have taken between camps. 

Minato found Genma in about eight minutes of searching, several hundred meters off the normal route. 

“Hokage-sama!” Genma cried in evident relief. His face was one Minato had seen often in his lifetime but not so much in the last few years of mainly administrative work: the instant relief of a man who’d consigned himself to death, now realizing that he was going to live. 

Minato shot him a reassuring smile even as his eyes darted around the clearing. There were no ninja in the area, but Genma was currently trapped within the glowing walls of a massive blue-green chakra barrier. It had an unusual shape, delineated by stalks of bamboo at the corners of an irregular pentagon. 

Well, this shouldn’t be too difficult to dismantle. Minato might be off the battlefield, but he was still up to snuff on all things fuuinjutsu. He stepped up the closet bamboo shoot, which had a seal carved… into it…?

“What happened?” he asked Genma as he eyed the seal. This was… not a normal piece of fuuinjutsu. Hmm. 

“There was a little girl,” Genma started. He sounded incredibly stressed as he described the sequence of events: Genma had encountered a local civilian girl on his trek. He recognized her as belonging to a nearby village and being one of the local women and children who’d occasionally barter with Konoha field camps. She’d sprained her ankle, and he’d stop to help. 

“But then she… I don’t know, she… the barrier…”

 Then this random civilian girl had activated a barrier and left Genma. Sure. Why not. 

“Are you sure she’s not a ninja?” Minato asked, frowning at the seal. He could recognize it as a barrier seal, but there were like seventeen things going on with it he didn’t understand. A civilian could activate certain types of ninja-made seals in theory, but not this one. 

“No, she’s the soap girl!” Genma bemoaned. “She shows up sometimes to sell shitty soaps. There’s no way she’s a ninja.”

But then, Genma continued in a clearly upset sort of ramble, she’d asked him if he was well-hydrated and how much water and food he had on him, and just left. 

“I’ve been here at least two days,” Genma said. 

“The barrier lasted that long?” Minato asked. “Impressive.”

“Impressive?” Genma repeated. 

“It’s a fairly chakra-heavy barrier,” Minato replied. Genma continued to stare at him with what looked like a vaguely scandalized expression. “Usually to maintain something like this long-term, you’d need to put a lot of chakra in at the beginning– usually done with multiple people, and definitely not by a child– or you’d need to be actively maintaining it. This little girl never came by? No other ninja?”

Genma stared at him, wide-eyed, his mouth hanging open. Minato raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer.

“Well, no,” Genma said after a few moments had passed. “Can you please get me out before we debrief?”

Ah, Minato supposed Genma was a little freaked out by the prospect of his own untimely death, withering away in a random barrier by what seemed to be the random whims of a child. That was fair. Minato turned back to the seal. 

He looked at it some more, then moved around to the next bamboo shoot, and then the next. 

“Huh,” he said. 

“Hokage-sama?” Genma asked. 

“I have no idea how to undo this,” Minato said, unable to keep the excitement out of his voice. 

“Hokage-sama.”

Genma was looking at him in horror now, but Minato could feel a certain giddiness building in his stomach. Finally, something interesting! What was going on with this seal? He could tell a bunch of the mystery components had to do with pulling chakra, but from where? The bamboo itself? Minato had heard stories from Kushina of ancient Uzushio seals using length of living kelp, twisted into seals that could pull on chakra as long as the kelp was alive. But those were supposed to be legends! 

“Hokage-sama, are you smiling?” Genma whined. 

“It’s just really interesting,” Minato defended. He was going to save Genma, okay? “I’m going to get my notes.”

It only took Minato a minute to teleport to his office, dig up a notebook with enough blank pages, and then teleport back. Genma still gave him a look of deep betrayal that he’d left at all. 

Minato was pretty good at multitasking, so he quizzed Genma on details of how the seal had been activated while copied the location of the seals and took etchings of them. 

“She didn’t mention any name at all?” Minato confirmed. “No boss she’s working for?”

Minato really, really wanted to meet whoever had made this nightmare of a seal. He wanted to know how they’d come up with it, and then quiz them if they new more seals like this, that could use chakra from natural sources, and then maybe have this person to dinner to just talk fuuinjutsu with him and Kushina all night. 

Except they were in an enemy nation, so probably Minato would have to settle for imprisoning this person and then interrogating them via Yamanaka mindwalk. Boo. 

Also, on top of the wild chakra source, the barrier was just really well made. Genma had not just been sitting around for two days; he’d executed several earth jutsu to try and burrow out, but the barrier extended underground. It even stood up to a rasengan. Minato couldn’t even destroy the five bamboo shoots powering the whole thing, because they were integrated into the walls of the barrier itself. 

“This person must have troubleshooted this a lot,” Minato said, squinting at one of the seals. This thing matched no reports of anything Konoha had seen during the war. How could they have never noticed this person running around?

Genma was clearly starting to panic again. 

“Sir, what are you going to do?” he asked. “I’m out of water and food.”

Minato cocked his head to the side, thinking. He did have another meeting he really had to go to, as much as he wanted to stay here and geek out over this cool new seal. He could teleport over to the nearest camp, tell them where Genma was so they could put a guard on him, and then come back later with Kushina. Could they safely bring Naruto? He always felt guilty when they had to leave the kid alone in the evening…

Then, they heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching. They weren’t particularly loud, but they were definitely civilian. Genma shut his mouth, and Minato turned to the source, eyebrows raised. 

The person got close enough that he could see the outline of a figure through the bamboo. The person was small, clearly a child. Then they clearly realized they’d made a terrible mistake and turned to flee. 

Minato shot forward, grabbing the kid by the back of her yukata. She matched the description Genma had given of the kid who’d trapped him: dark curly hair and eyes, around eight. She stomped over to the clearing like a civilian who was used to navigating bamboo, and then for the briefest moment where she’d attempted to run, made it very clear she was a ninja in training. 

So. That was interesting. 

Minato pulled her into the clearing and set her down on her feet. She was technically an enemy who had put an important Konoha Jounin in a situation which might actually kill him, but also she was a little kid. Minato hated having to kill or bully kids. 

“Hi there,” he said, shooting her his most child-friendly smile. 

“Reina, you horrible little brat!” Genma yelled, banging his fists on the wall of the barrier. 

Reina ignored him entirely, eyeing Minato up and down with deep suspicion. She was either extremely confident the barrier could completely contain Genma, or she’d recognized Minato as the greater threat, or both. 

“Don’t worry,” Minato said. “I’m not going to hurt you. Just answer some questions as best you can, and you won’t even get in trouble, okay?”

“Oooh, you’re going to be in so much trouble when I get out!” Genma screamed. 

“Ignore him,” Minato said, then winked playfully at her. 

Reina’s lips thinned and she looked doubtful. But she also didn’t even spare Genma a glance as she shouted threats at her. 

“Look, I’m not going to kill him,” Reina said finally. “I was… even coming to feed him.”

She produced a beat up looking bag of dried fruit from her pocket and held this up as if it were evidence. There were only a few pieces left. If Minato hazarded a guess, he’d say it was left over from her own snack and then forgotten in her pocket. 

“Right,” Minato said slowly. “Listen, I don’t really care that you trapped him.”

(“WHAT?” Genma yelled.)

“But I really want to know, Reina-chan,” Minato continued, trying to look as friendly as possible even as Genma continued to bluster in outrage, “do you know who made this barrier?”

Reina’s brows furrowed slightly, studying his face. Minato smiled back encouragingly. He eyes finally darted over to the barrier. 

“Oh,” she said, as if realizing something. “Oh. Yeah, of course that’s what you’d want. Ummm.”

She fidgeted with the bag of dry fruit in her hands, crinkling the plastic under her fingers. The label was faded with time and the wear and tear of riding around in a child’s pockets, but it was one of the brands Konoha included in their ration packs for field camps. She’d likely gotten it from a field camp. 

“Did someone show you the trap?” Minato asked gently. 

“Uh, well,” Reina replied. “About that…”

Reina didn’t seem to be too afraid to talk to him, but she also seemed to be afraid of whatever the answers to his questions were. This made sense to Minato. If she was a ninja living in this area, she was probably associated with this new “village” Orochimaru had made. It would be logical to fear he’d turn violent if she brought up Konoha’s most notorious missing-nin. 

Briefly, Minato wondered if the seal was Orochimaru’s design. Setting up and then abandoning a trap such that a child might take advantage of it was not something Orochimaru was likely to do, but perhaps he’d developed the fuuinjutsu and someone else had set it up. 

Except, no– that wasn’t really aligned with Orochimaru’s skillset. Orochimaru was a prolific fuuinjutsu user, but he wasn’t a true master. Under Konoha he’d never shown interest in developing new fuuinjutsu beyond some modifications to seals useful to his research. Not even he could wake up one day and spontaneously invent what looked like an entirely new field of fuuinjutsu. 

Minato felt like fidgeting himself with excitement. If it wasn’t Orochimaru, maybe dinner wasn’t completely off the table. 

Reina still hadn’t answered, so Minato tried, “I know you’re an Oto-nin, and that our villages don’t really get along. But I promise I just want to know who made this seal. Nothing bad is going to happen to you.”

He did his best “don’t worry, I’m here to save you and you’re not going to die” smile. Reina tilted her head back, eyes narrowing. 

“Okay,” she said. “Nothing bad will happen to me? I have your word?”

“Um, yes,” Minato said. 

“So if I go back to my boss and tell him I gave up fuuinjutsu secrets to the Hokage, he won’t do anything bad?”

“No,” Minato replied slowly, and Reina looked at him like he was deeply stupid, the type of look only a little kid could level at an adult. It was the type of unimpressed expression he now only ever got from his own child. “Well,” Minato corrected. “I won’t do anything to you, and my friend here won’t either.”

He shot Genma a look. Genma glared back at him but shut up. 

“So I don’t have your word that nothing bad will happen,” Reina concluded. 

Gods above, Minato thought, starting to feel annoyed. His meeting was in fifteen minutes, but he wanted the identity of this fuuinjutsu user so bad. Why do they have to make kids so smart?

“At least ask her to get me out of here,” Genma said, keeping his voice level this time, although there was a hint of desperation in there. 

Minato had not asked for this, because he had assumed the girl had simply known of the trap and walked Genma into it, and was therefore unlikely to know how to deactivate it. But she eyed Minato up and down again, and then said:

“I’ll let him out, but you have to keep your word.”

Then she pulled a brush and a bottle of ink from her sleeves and walked over to the nearest bamboo shoot. Minato followed her, holding back the urge to ask her about fifteen questions. She was eight. She probably had no idea how the seal worked. 

“You know, my clan kicked me out,” Reina said conversationally as she applied ink directly to the barrier as it hummed over the wood of the bamboo. Who the hell taught her to do that? No one did that. That would have been Minato’s “well, nothing else worked” level attempt at breaking it. “I don’t have any biological family to defend me or look after me. My clan only lets me stay around because uniting the clans means other people take care of me. Really, I’ve been looking for a way to escape.”

“Uh huh,” Minato replied, watching her hands as she painted characters over the ones etched into the bamboo. A counter-seal then… what a bizarre way to design something, to only be able to undo it by painting a brand new seal on top. That barely left room for any error, although he supposed the benefit was that this approach had made it so Genma couldn’t just break the bamboo, and even someone like Minato would need days of work to come up with a counter-seal. 

Reina made no errors in her counter-seal, and so she didn’t blow them all up or screw up the seal such that no one could take it down. The walls of the barrier fizzled away, and for a second Genma looked like he was on the brink of tears. 

“Hey, stand down,” Minato chided when Genma made a move towards them and Reina tensed. Had Genma not been listening to their whole conversation? 

Genma obeyed, standing at attention while also scowling at Reina. 

Reina stared up at Minato expectantly, the ink brush still in her hands. The counter-seal had melted into ink stains on the bamboo and the surrounding grass when the barrier lifted, and Minato considered asking her to draw it again for him to make sure he got all the details. 

Still, who on earth had taught such a young child such advanced fuuinjutsu? Minato flipped his notebook to a new page and eyed Reina. 

“Reina-chan,” he said slowly. “Who is your fuuinjutsu teacher?”

“Oh, um,” she said. “Oto encourages… self study…?”

He stared down at her. 

No way. No fucking way. 

“Sir,” Genma said. 

“About your promise,” Reina started. 

Minato had his stupid meeting in two minutes, and it was vital to keeping the village running or whatever. He didn’t have time to unpack this right now. 

“You said your clan kicked you out?” he asked Reina. 

“Yes,” she confirmed. “So if you could just drop me off in–”

“So you don’t have family you’d miss?” he asked. 

“Uh… no?”

Right. This was perfect. He took her hand, then grabbed for Genma’s forearm. He teleported all three of them into his office. 

“This isn’t–” Reina started, for the first time showing actual fear. 

“It’s okay,” Minato said, patting her on the head. Children liked that, right? Well, Naruto hated it, but Academy kids loved when he paid attention to them. “Genma, go get checked out at the hospital and then come back for a debriefing.”

“Um, yessir,” Genma said, eyeing Reina and looking completely unsure of the situation. 

Minato actually couldn’t wait to quiz Reina on what the fuck was going on in Oto. How much fuuinjutsu did she actually know? How had she gotten the idea for the wild bamboo seal? Did Orochimaru maybe have old Uzushio materials lying around that Minato and Kushina should know about?

“Hokage-sama,” his secretary said, entering the office, “the Hyuuga clan representative… who is this child?”

Right. His meeting. He’d have to hold off on talking to her. If she were an adult, the protocol would be to stick her with T&I. But she wasn’t an adult; she was an increasingly frightened looking child. If he stuck her in T&I, he’d not only create a ton of red tape for himself to interact with her, but she might end up too freaked out to talk to him as soon as he wanted her to. 

“Genma,” he said, deciding on the best course of action. “On your way down, drop Reina-chan off with Kushina.”

Genma sighed. “Sure, Hokage-sama,” he said, sounding deeply unhappy. 

There. Now Minato could have his fun little dinner. 

[silversatoru]

play-thing — part one

gojo satoru x getou suguru x f!reader

t/w: nsfw 18+, dark content, drugging, manipulation, noncon/dubcon, oral (f!receiving), nipple play, this story contains very dark themes so please do not read it you’re sensitive to any of these topics

synopsis: suguru and satoru are missing something in their lives, and who better to manipulate than an lonely, impressionable girl who just moved to tokyo from another city. they’re willing to take extreme measures to transform you into their perfectly submissive little play-thing. 

wc: 1.9k

suguru and satoru do everything together; live in the same house, work at the same company, even share a closet of the most expensive clothes, but something was missing. they both felt it, the empty space between them, and they were determined to find the perfect piece to fill the gaping hole in their lives.

and you practically fell right into the palm of their hands, in a local grocery store of all places. a pretty little thing with a freshly broken heart who’d just moved here from a neighboring city. no friends, no family nearby, anxious and impressionable and desperately in need of a couple capable men to show her around. it all started with an innocent question: “hey, sorry to bother you guys, but could you tell me where the baking aisle is?”

how you ended up here you still weren't quite sure. 

“let us take you on a tour of the city tonight,” satoru had cooed at you.

“there’s a few really nice bars, we could grab some drinks,” suguru added, both their voices smooth and terrifyingly persuasive.

but they seemed nice enough, and you weren't in any position to be picky with making friends right now — after all, you’d have to get accustomed to the city somehow, right?

wear something pretty, satoru had winked at you before you parted ways and continued your shopping, and for some reason you were very inclined to do as he said. they were both intimidatingly attractive and you weren’t exactly sure what their dynamic was yet, but you decided that if you ended up in bed with one of them tonight, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

you’d chosen a short and silky black dress, something elegant but classic that would absolutely catch the eyes of both men. and it did, satoru’s eyes glazing over your body several times before he even bothered to say hello to you. suguru was less obvious, his dark eyes giving you a quick once-over before giving you a warm smile and wrapping his arm around your shoulders as the three of you entered the first bar.

it was small, dimly lit with a few lanterns and packed tight with people. a little too crowded for your level of comfort, so you stuck closely to the sides of suguru and satoru as they led you deeper into the pub. the dark-haired male gestured towards an empty seat at the end of the countertop, the two of them standing on either side of you after you slid into it. satoru spoke with an impressive level of charisma, ordering three of the same drink from the bartender — who he seemed to know quite well.

taking a few sips of the liquor did wonders for you initial anxiety, and the casual conversation with both men was helping you to settle in as well. 

so, where are you from? 

what made you want to move to tokyo?

what do you do for a living? 

you were painfully oblivious to how the conversation stayed entirely centered around you; you still hadn’t learned anything about the two men, but they were learning everything about you. 

an hour or so in, a warm dizziness began to swirl around the inside of your head, slowly exacerbating until you felt like you were about to tumble out of your seat. you’d only had a couple drinks, and you normally handled your alcohol fairly well, so why did you feel absolutely sloshed right now? 

“guys, i think maybe-” you turned towards your two tour guides and crashed forward into suguru’s chest without warning. 

“think you went a little heavy, toru?” he scooped his hands under your plump ass and lifted your unconscious body into his muscularly arms. 

“not my fault she has no tolerance,” satoru shrugged, throwing some cash on the counter, “might be easier with her like this anyway”. 

“i suppose,” suguru clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “stupid girl, didn’t your parents teach you not to trust strangers so easily?”

the two of them casually made their way out of the bar together, making jokes about how poorly you handle your liquor to anyone who gave them a questionable look — but the bar was so loud and jam-packed with people that they made it out without any incident.

you were slow to come out of your sleepy haze, head nodding up and down as you struggled to maintain consciousness and take in the scenery around you. in a futile attempt to brush some hair out of your face you realized your hands were tightly secured behind your back. panic immediately flooded your system, chest tightening and hot tears brimming at the edges of your eyes. 

“just a precaution, angel,” suguru came walking into your hazy vision, a warm smile on his face as he tucked the loose strands of hair behind your ears, “how are you feeling?” 

“wha-, whaaat happen- ed?” your words were garbled, your brain barely able to form them. 

“don’t worry about it,” satoru appeared next to suguru, “you just drank a little too much, but we’ll take good care of you, won’t we suguru?” 

“of course, no need for you to worry about anything anymore,” he gave an affirmative nod. 

“i don’t think-” you wracked your brain for any recollection of what had happened tonight, but you found nothing, “i don’t th- think i — understand”. 

“you will soon,” satoru flashed a bright smile, but it wasn’t nearly as inviting as the first time you saw it. this time it was eerie, evil, threatening — what exactly was he talking about? 

your brain was quickly turning to absolute mush, your vision getting darker and foggier than it already was as you tried to hang on to the sound of their voices.

just relax

we’re gonna make you feel good, you wanna feel good, princess?

you want us to make you feel better?

“mhm,” you gave them a slow nod. you did want them to make you feel better! you felt groggy and confused and nauseas! so of course you said yes! that is what they were asking? right?

you felt the bed shift around you, several hands tracing over your skin and gently pushing you onto your back. you tried to question them, tried to form the words, but your brain was unable to produce a single word or movement at this point.

a hot tongue connected with the side of your neck, lips latched onto the skin and sucking gently on the sensitive area. another mouth was on your inner thigh, sucking a little harder and undoubtedly leaving a small marking. you subconsciously let out a squeaky, shaky breath, the warmth of their tongues eliciting a response in your doped-up body.

goosebumps raked through your body when you felt a pair of slender fingers slip under your dress and brush over the thin material of your panties. it was satoru, his middle and index fingers prodding at your clothed cunt and sending jolts through your legs. meanwhile suguru continued to cover your neck in sloppy kisses, one of his large hands groping at your covered breasts.

your brain had gone numb, from the drugs, the confusion, the terribly intoxicating pleasure. you hated how clueless you were, how useless your body was right now, but what you hated most of all was that you weren’t even trying to fight back. their touch felt good — too good for you to ask them to stop.

it wasn’t long before satoru’s fingers were replaced with his mouth, his tongue running up and down the fold in your panties and absolutely soaking the material with his saliva. he groaned from the taste, getting just as much pleasure from this as you were. he was quick to push the fabric to the side, sliding his tongue against your sticky folds with hunger and urgency. he lapped at your cunt, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue and evoking a series of twitches from your lazy body.

“be gentle with her” suguru’s voice sounded far off in the distance as he mumbled into your chest.

satoru heeded to the other man’s instructions, slowing his pace and going more gentle on your sensitive, puffy clit. suguru found your hardened nipples through your thin dress, rolling them in his fingers and enhancing the already blissful feeling you were getting from satoru’s tongue.

the two of them working together was incomprehensibly euphoric, your stomach coiling into tight knots with each swipe of his tongue. without warning he dove even deeper, his tongue shooting into your cunt while his nose rubbed against your throbbing bundle of nerves. between that and suguru giving your nipples a sudden tug, your body was crashing with waves of pleasure — strangled moans and pitiful whimpers the only sounds that your mouth could produce.

it was a near-holy experience, the feeling of the sedatives pumping through your veins as satoru tongued your pussy and suguru massaged your breasts through your heightened orgasm. you felt like you were floating, the room was spinning, and then everything went dark.

a real shame that you wouldn’t be able to remember any of it by the time you woke up.

bright sunlight pierced through your eyelids the following morning, forcing you awake and causing you to jolt up. you were laying in a large bed that was situated at the back of a rather large room, fitted silk sheets cool under your skin. confused of what happened and where you were, you stood from the bed and made your way to the door, feet patting on the soft carpeted floor. 

when you opened the door you entered a long hallway that led to a wide stairway covered in the same fluffy carpeting. two voices were laughing and talking beneath you, and curiosity fueled your motivation to walk down the stairs and into an open-concept kitchen and living room. 

satoru and suguru, the two men from yesterday were busy at the stove, pancakes and bacon sizzling away on two cast-iron pans. they wore matching aprons, suguru’s reading chef daddy, and satoru’s reading mr. good-lookin’ is cookin’. 

who the fuck were these guys?

“feeling better?” suguru was the first to notice you loitering at the edge of the room. 

“yeah, how are you? didn’t picture you to be such a heavy drinker,” satoru laughed, flipping a pancake with grace. 

you didn’t remember much, nothing past sitting down at the bar with them. you weren’t much for getting wasted but you were plagued with more stress than usual lately — maybe you really let yourself go last night. 

“ah, sorry about that, I don’t even remember what i did, honestly,” you shrugged, “thanks for looking out for me though, where’s my stuff?”

“in a hurry to leave? stay for breakfast,” suguru brushed off your question with a captivating smile, his eyes squinting together in the most adorable way. 

“we insist,” satoru chimed in, humming as he continued to focus on the sweet-smelling food. 

and so you stayed, which was probably the worst mistake that you’d made in the past twenty-four hours of countless terrible mistakes. 

part one | part two

a/n: im on a yandere/dark content kick today i cant help it. anyway if u wanna be tagged when i post part two lemme know :) and if u want some yandere megumi go read @katslutski​ ‘s tell me 

(ily kat <33 so happy to have someone to get into very specific obsessions with)