#that says a lot abt me
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I was so busy being autistic abt the emmys that I missed 5 calls from my parents and they thought I was dead in a ditch
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sometimes i think abt old crossover ships i had and cry a bit on the inside bc i miss them all
#tbh i have more crossover ships than canon ships#that says a lot abt me#betty + s.tefan ; c.are + bellamy >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>#and i’m only talking abt my two main blondes#𝑰. ⠀ ⠀˛ ⠀ * ⠀ 。゜ ✻ ⠀ ⠀ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ⠀ 、 ⠀ general post .#*sighs* time to read old threads of
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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typical tavern scene
#dimension 20#fantasy high#fhjy#fabian seacaster#riz gukgak#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#figueroth faeth#gorgug thistlespring#got my version of this in lol. I feel like this is mandatory if u draw fh art#trying to remember whats on the menu at a typical swensen's. its been years since I last was at one#tho I am so absolutely unfamiliar with like elmville level of town scenery. just immediately drew from my own experience lmao#I used to think malls are the same everywhere.... but then I hear from my US friends and. wow they sure are not#mm. good day to reminisce a little bit. but I am now sleepy#not a lot to say abt this I think most of this is pretty straightforward. I did use this to test out some overlays in SAI2#that I never really touched. the talisman on fig's guitar case takes from the house protection talisman you'd put on the front door#and also I think kristen slipping while fully sat down is very funny and special. she means so much to me#okay. alright. I should really go to sleep. and tomorrow I should take my dang walk... see the sun#have a good night lads! enjoy ice cream
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in spite of everything, I had fun <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushikugi#jjk 271#well we made it :'>#im kind of ignoring a lot of the tag rn ghsdff ik people are upset#if u follow me u know th full extent of my thoughts on the wrapping up of the series but tl;dr the caption says it all#this series meant a lot to me and im working on a bigger tribute to fully express that love and gratitude#but take a redraw 2 tide u over for now#im just so happy. its bittersweet but those r my kids n theyre tgt and theyre okay#i think the return to normalcy is good fr them. i say let them rest n b together n process everything in time#/i'm/ satisfied with what i got out of jjk as a whole and that's all that matters to me#however ik that not everyone shares tht sentiment n thats valid!#regardless of how u feel abt the finale i hope that u at least take time to remember things abt the series that brought u joy#thats all i can say#oh yeah anyway i lightened up megumi's expression his face is so funny in that panel i can't believe he really said -_- until the very end#still tho i think megu deserves a content lil smile
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Hot take and not to be a killjoy or the shipping police but people treating Viktor or Jinx's aroace headcanons as if they were canon is not the revolutionary take people think it is.
Headcanons are always all right but we have to acknowledge that they are somehow damaging when they apply to stereotypes. It might not be the case for everyone but most of the time people unconsciously assume that disability/mental illness=asexuality. These headcanons erase the freedom of attraction from people who are already seen as unable to have sexual/romantic experiences/desires, when it's completely untrue and harmful.
You can headcanon Viktor and Jinx as aroace, but I have seen people changing their minds once Viktor is no longer disabled (s2 with all of his other forms) and Jinx is no longer as mentally ill (alternate universe Powder). And it speaks wonders of how people see these characters.
"I never thought about Jinx being able to feel romantic/sexual attraction until s2!" To believe she's actually only capable of that when she's not "damaged" is incredibly disturbing. Especially since Jinx has always had a bit of a flirty personality too.
"I've always seen Viktor as asexual, I don't know why!" That's fine. You can headcanon him as ace. But I believe there is a reason behind it, most of the time, if for some inexplicable reason the "vibes" of the disabled character are making you think he's ace.
I say all of this being aroaspec myself, by the way. Headcanon all you want but going to people's posts commenting how "it's weird for you that they have romantic/sexual plots when they're clearly aroace" is not a win at all. It's a headcanon, after all, and it should be treated as such, and that's fine. But it also is damaging to spread stereotypes like these.
Of course the disabled character is asexual. Of course the mentally ill character is aromantic. It's not as revolutionary as you might think, tbh.
Fandom is not activism and it's all right to have any headcanons you want BUT some of them are filled with damaging stuff and perhaps we should look into ourselves more before treating these assumptions as something canon.
#i hope i didn't sound rude btw i am saying this respectfully and this is directed to the ones who push these hcs as canon#if you have your own theories and know abt aroace stereotypes but are respectful abt it this is not for you keep scrolling#i actually think showing jinx (who has been dehumanized by the fandom A LOT) in a romantic relationship is good for her character#and viktor letting himself be free and loving what he considered imperfections thanks to jayce at the end c'monnn they need to make love#tired of disabled characters being treated as babies and always hc them as aroace let them fuck#this being said i am aware there are more terms inside aroace etc etc etc and there are more ways of considering them aroace etc etc etc#this is NOT about that it's about being aware of how 'mmm it's the vibes!' argument does NOT work when it's stereotypes#it's like saying 'wow this robotic character is giving me autistic vibes idk why' LIKE CMON NOW WEFNEWLFNL YOU KNOW WHY#please don't cancel me i am giving my humble opinion as someone aroaspec#at the end of the day you can do whatever the fuck you want tbh#i'm not the shipping police here#arcane#viktor arcane#jinx arcane#jayvik#timebomb
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I saw the tv glow is crazy bc it’s a movie that genuinely makes you watch how your life could fall apart. Makes you watch how heavily repression can affect your life and how dangerous and sad it can be. But at the same time it’s like “hey, if you’re still alive there is still time, so keep going.”
I’ve genuinely never watched a movie that has given me so much sadness, but let’s me find a sense of hope, no matter how bittersweet, within that devastation.
#i saw the tv glow#a24 films#a24#a24 movies#transfem#movies#this one changed me#i could say a lot abt this movie#but ill let it sit with me for a bit
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chappell talked abt trans/womens/oppressed territories rights while dressed in lady liberty drag td and also dedicated my kink is karma to the White House after she said she declined an offer to perform for pride there . she also crawled out of an apple for her entrance and wore a taxi dress while she played a brand new song genuinely the future of pop is so bright
#lee’s bullshit#chappell roan#she was choking up while saying it and I nearly started bawling#the fl show where she said the rest of the world has not forgotten abt the queer ppl in Florida made me sob#and I’m glad she’s continuing to be so vocal abt supporting the trans community it rlly does mean a lot
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poll time. yes this is just a ploy to get people to recommend me poems
if yes, let me know which poems/recite some for me in the tags!
#thinking abt how poetry Gets Into Your Brain#i have a lot of random bits floating around in there and they surface at particular times to damage me#the longest one i have by heart is probably bilbo's song of earendil from fellowship (normal thing to have memorised)#after that it's a real mess in there#if you shook me until a poem came out the first one you'd get would probably be gbs domum redit poeta#gay belligerence#poetry#poking you all with a stick. say poems at me#i want to know What Sticks
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horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago
#I DIDNT KNOW I DIDNT KNOWWWWW#when i say damn thats crazy its bc i DO think its crazy i think a lot of things are crazy. like how birds have cloacas#or the way ppl draw a five pointed star in different ways and everyone assumes their way of doing it is how everyone does it#my brother is not letting me live this down btw he literally shouted at me like HOW DID YOU LIVE THIS LONG AND NOT PICK UP ON THAT#IDK!!! IDK I THOUGHT SOMETIMES IT COULD BE USED TO EXPRESS GENUINE SHOCK??????#he says its my delivery that makes it sound insincere bc i say it in a monotonous voice which when i think abt it YEAH....#THAT DOES MAKE IT LOOK KINDA BAD IN HINDSIGHT.....#and then i told him i keep a list of phrases that tickle my brain so i can remember to use them in conversation and apparently#most ppl dont do that bc he was like ???? stop doing that??? just let the conversation flow naturally it sounds fake>????#idk man i feel like if i did that and blurted out 'i forgot people find stuff like underwear arousing for some reason' instead of#smth like 'i wonder what kind of ppl find this kind of stuff the bees knees' like i normally do. it would. not go so well.#ALSO THE FLOW CHARTS ARENT NORMAL? i make flow charts before i call the bank or smth so i know what to say#its not just to blend in its also so i dont waste ppls time going uhhhhh as i think of how i put smth into words#its called stalling for time and i dont care if i have to say smth like thats just how the cookie crumbles if it gives me#5 more seconds to process whatever the fuck someone said without letting them think im not paying attention#doodles#diary#sona#puppysona#comics
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Why does it feel like i betray my bros
#my art#genshin impact#genshinimpact#tighnari#genshin impact tighnari#cyno#genshin impact cyno#paimon#sethos#genshin impact sethos#of course ooc#iLOVEYOU SETHOS#‼️‼️‼️💳💳💳💳💳#i have 100 pulls for you bbg#i think a lot abt u sethos#i drew lumine because I choose lumine as traveler but this is me#“bros before hoes” is something I always say to my friends#sorry bros. a soldier has fallen in love bye#sethos reminding why i am bisexual (and it is a fictional character)#if cyno is the comfort character and tighnari the main then sethos is the crush 🫦
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“callie shipman” “callie taylor” “callie taylor-shipman” well no actually because the tragedy of callie sadecki is that she is not a taylor, and she is not a shipman, and she will never be either. she will always live in the shadow of a girl she never met and a baby she never knew, she will always be a reminder to her mother of the things she lost and the mistakes she made and the life she’ll never get to have.
her name is callie sadecki. because no matter how hard she tries, she will never be anything more to shauna than the unwanted child of a man she never loved.
#think abt her a lot….#said this all in a rambly mess to baran in ig dms and she told me to post it so everyone say thank you barannnn#callie sadecki#shauna shipman#jeff sadecki#yellowjackets#yellowjackets meta#yj#text
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The Smallest Church in Saint-Saëns
No smoke version and og picture undercut :]
#art tag#disco elysium#disco elysium fanart#disco elysium art#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#harrier du bois#dolores dei#kimharry#harrykim#shipping#queer artist#trans artist#artist on tumblr#art on tumblr#fanart on tumblr#gif art#gonna ramble here rq and say that jesus chirst this one took me like#10 hours and a half#i had a lot of thinhs to say abt this one but? its 2 am rn kinda forgoy#i may reblog it tomorow with some insider insight
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DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS (2009) — developed by bioware.
#gamingnetwork#vgedit#videogameedit#gamingedit#dailygaming#gameplaydaily#daoedit#mydao#myda#daedit#dragon age#dragon age: origins#dragon age origins#zevran arainai#zevran x warden#zevwarden#ppl have talked a lot abt this scene#and how zevrans not able to say he loves the warden here even tho he obviously does#and how thats a show of his past and his hurt but not a lack of devotion#he has a hard time saying the words because hes used them and mostly heard them in the context of a lie#and he could never lie to his warden#but also like. it means so much for him to be able to say 'i know you love me. i believe you. i believe you love me'#because he hates himself in a real way! hes still recovering from being actively suicidal!!#zevran does not view himself as someone who is Lovable in the way the warden loves him#but he believes them anyway#whats the line....i trust you means more from me than i love you#ANYWAY ZEVRAN [chews through the drywall] !!!!!!!
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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