#that rly only applies to me specifically.

[ottosbigtop]

don’t know how 2 say “if I unfollow u as a mutual I promise it’s nothing personal” without just saying it but like. If u primarily rb unrelated stuff frum art I might unfollow from time 2 time (esp if it’s a lot of discourse related stuff) bc I’m becoming increasingly aware of how bad I am at monitoring and filtering my own racing thoughts when it comes to viewing an excessive amount of discourse posts. I will still check in and rb and probably even refollow once I get my brain set back on track but yah. If this means anything

[skitskatdacat63]

During the 2020 shut-in era, I basically only listened to Coldplay and god the amnt of emotional nostalgia I get from listening to their music is so

[mwagneto]

food ordering website just added a 110 forint service fee so im back to calling restaurants and i didnt even hesitate or get anxious before calling. you bitches cant even spell neurotypical

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

hi!! could you write grover x nymph reader? where reader went to yancy and stuff with him for percy. shes very fem and confident and doesnt rly care about combat or the rules, her and grover butt heads alot bc she wanted to let percy run around and do whatever he wanted while grover tried to be a good influence. shes the only person grover is willing to argue w because she makes fun of him alot but shes rly just trying to encourage him to stand up for himself. maybe on tlt quest they have to work together to look after percy and annabeth and they realise they dont hate eachother as much as they thought? sorry if thats too specific im tryna abide by ur post 😭

if not thats okay!! i loved ur soulmate clarisse fic <3

Sure! Here ya go, and thank you for the request and listening to my post, lol. I’m glad you liked my clarisse fix, and enjoy!

Too Bad

Grover followed right after you, the two of you sent away to look for some food while Annabeth and Percy hung back.

“I just don’t get why you have to be so difficult!”

“I’m difficult?!” You exclaimed, spinning around to look at Grover in disbelief.

“Yes! Why? Why do you always have to argue?!” Grover asked in exasperation.

“I haven’t been arguing with you.” You shook your head, only getting a wide eyed look from Grover.

For as long as he had known you, you loved to argue. It could be anything and everything, and it wasn’t even with everyone.

You just always had it out for him, and he didn’t know why.

You were everything Grover wasn’t, and sometimes without meaning too, Grover couldn’t help but be envious.

You were confident, you stood up for anyone and everyone of your friends, even if they could be wrong. That just never seemed to apply to him.

He didn’t like it, and just wanted this to be over but you were making it so hard. You let Percy run a mock, doing whatever he wanted while he tried to be a good influence.

What did that get Grover?

Another argument.

“Uh- yes, yes you do!” Grover said in disbelief. “You make fun of me, go against anything I say, and you always want to pick a fight!”

“So?!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up in exasperation as they hit your sides.

“There’s no reason to! Especially because you do it just for me!” Grover complained.

“Because you Don’t stand up for yourself!” You said, Grover stopped as he look at you in confusion.

“Yes- yes, I do.” Grover sputtered, shaking his head after a beat of silence. You sighed, shaking your head.

“You let people walk all over you, Grover. You give in, you’re too nice, and-“ You tried.

“How is that a bad thing?” Grover asked. “Because you can’t be someone’s doormat, Grover.” You stated, giving a pointed look.

Grover just stared at you for a moment Before trying again. “But you’re the one who’s been doing it...” he said, a bit suspiciously.

“No, not me.” You shook your head, laughing under your breath as Grover looked at you confused.

“With me, you argue back, you stand up for yourself. You wouldn’t have done that before, would you?” You asked, Grover silent for a moment as he thought about it.

“…you were doing it…to help me?” Grover asked, almost struggling to understand. You nodded your head, smiling smugly.

“And it worked, didn’t it?” You asked, watching as he mulled it over.

“Your teaching methods are…questionable,” Grover started, getting an offended “hey!” From you.

Grover ignored you, thinking before looking back at you. “But I get it, though.” He nodded.

“See?” You asked, chuckling a bit. Grover couldn’t help but smile a bit as well. He has never thought about it that way.

He had to look away after a second though, because now he had more time too look and see, that the old feeling he felt when looking at you wasn’t exactly envy.

Now, all Grover felt was awe, and a bit of longing as he saw your smile.

You weren’t so bad, especially with your pretty smile, especially when you’re smiling at him

[velvetwyrme]

Um hi!! I just wanted to say I fucking love your work and everything you do and I’m so glad to say that you have officially made me into a papyri lover and I request that you continue to feed me with your amazing art and writing😇 (I’m literally folding for Rus and Dare’s relationship and not to mention Flipping fate has honestly got me hooked and never letting me go)

Also! If it’s not a bother do you have any tips on drawing the two skeleton brothers? (Aus don’t rly matter!) I just adore how you do it (sketches and the finished product) and I just wanted to ask ;,)

WAHHH THANKUUU 💖💖 Welcome to the ranks of Papyri lovers...!! (APOLOGIES IVE BEEN SLACKING ON THE PAPYRI CONTENT ;w; [and also. literally anything in general recently agdjcbdk]) ALSO sorry this took like. months to reply to agahamjdbhsmf,jj,,,, I made a whole thing. and then accidentally deleted said thing? so I had to remake it after moping for like a month.

Anyway, here is. a very messy breakdown and some tips!! That are hopefully helpful!!! It's mostly about faces but if you're interested I can also get into the nitty gritty of drwing skeletons but these are like. Sans and Papyrus specific parts (so mostly their skulls lol)

Skulls are both weirdly round, and weirdly angular (a sentiment that I read in a fic once and committed to heart apparently. Like... yeah. They ARE weirdly round and angled.) As always shape language is your friend (real bouba and kiki moments)

Sans has more of a... chibi face shape LMAO. If you've drawn those before it makes drawing him a lil easier imo. As for Papyrus...

He's a pain!! He's got lots of expressions and I usually have to redraw his face like sixteen times. His eyes are just like 2 fucking vertical lines and yet. AND YET. My beloved boy is so difficult. At least he has very expressive eyebrows. I also use the corners of his mouth to give him more range of expressiveness since he has no lips! Also the lines for his "individual" teeth... I can take it or leave it. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't!

I only give Papyrus lower eyelids because if you give him upper eyelids/lidded sockets he looks like Underswap Paps LMAO,,

Sans on the other hand has "lips" but doesn't use them hrkfhdk,, I always make sure to give him the little holes at the corners of his mouth as well.

Also that's all about their heads/faces so here's a note about how I do bodies which is. Shapes. These two are so Shaped.

Seriously though the best thing to do is just to try emulate other people's artstyles or pick out parts of them that you like and incorporate them into your works. Like how someone draws Sans' eyes? Try it and apply it!!

People also tend to draw the skeletons with slightly different facial proportions, so experiment with that and see what you like as well! I've gotten pretty good at eyeballing it and drawing them directly (with the exception of Papyrus around 40% of the time, wherein I have to redraw his face sixteen times before it looks good).

[honeytonedhottie]

aspects to focus on when focusing on yourself⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🍡

MENTAL ;

your mental health is always the most important at the end of the day so make sure that your taking good care of it! journal to keep your head space not cluttered. write down your feelings, goals, and ideas. ways to focus on your mental include

proper rest

shadow work

meditating

if your religious, prayer

RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF ;

your relationship with yourself is also extremely important because your the only one with you 24/7 so get RIGHT with urself. if u can't love you then u have no business trying to love someone else.

give yourself compliments

self concept work

be gentle with yourself

PAMPERING ;

when you look good you feel good so make sure that your taking proper care of urself and like i mentioned in a previous post, treat urself like your own favorite doll. take care of ur skin hair and nails and give your body the tender love and care that u deserve.

SETTING GOALS ;

its no fun being stagnant and not moving forward. i find that when u have no goals, you have nothing to work towards and a life without goals or things to do is a boring life to me. i've already created a post with goal ideas if u dont rly know where to start or u dont have something specific that ur working towards, WHICH IS TOTALLY OK BTW. as long as ur not drifting aimlessly.

EDUCATION ;

apply yourself and pls try in school!! focusing on ur education can do nothing but benefit you. so pls take it seriously, you're responsible for your grades so take responsibility and pride yourself on them. AND when u do get a grade that ur proud of, reward yourself for it bcuz u absolutely deserve it.

buy yourself something that you've been wanting or something that u think is pretty

treat yourself to a fun little beverage

praise yourself, cuz ur so good

[dragongirluvula]

rly hate the whole kink or cope dichotomy so fucking much. The idea that something must be one or the other. The idea that if you sexualize something then your connection to it is somehow lesser.

Like, yeah I get off to all of the things in this blog but there's also like, a deep connection to it all too. I process a lot through vore and sizeplay. A lot of my kinks are also a result of trauma, the kink itself is a form of coping with the hell I've been through, no I'm not gonna explain which kinks this applies to and if you gotta ask I'm gonna need you to show me your medical license.

whenever I see like, "kink/nsfw dni this is a coping space" or whatever I just feel disheartened cos you're out here rejecting many people who are going through the same shit and just came out of it a little different to you. The sex negativity on this website is so fucking detrimental to everything and it fucking sucks.

There's also the implication that the simple act of being aroused by something taints your connection to it in some way. Somehow their enjoyment of vore or size play or petplay or agere or whatever is wrong because they feel something different from it to you.

Like, I get in a lot of cases it's a matter of comfort but I really think you should interrogate why the fact someone is aroused by something in the abstract is a problem for you? Don't answer this with not wanting sexual comments, that's a whole other question, this is specifically about people who set the boundary of "if you sexualize this at all stay away" which to me implies this idea that once you interact with something sexually, that's the only way you can interact with it, that you can't come back from that and that idea is a really fucked up one, especially with how aggressively sex negative people on this website can get.

[wc-confessions]

I want to preface this confession by saying very big age gaps are a major squick for me in shipping, but I *still* think the Warriors fandom can be a bit. Weird about them?

Like. I see so many things of ppl being like "UGH, [insert ship] is SO problematic bcus it has an ENORMOUS age gap and [older cat in relationship] is a TOTAL CREEP even if they pursued [younger cat in relationship] as an adult!!!"

And then I'm like "Wow rly? Sounds terrible! Just how big is this age gap?"

So I look it up. And then it's like. Twelve moons.

You folks realize that's... twelve *moons*, not years, right? This is a one year age gap, not twelve. A one year age gap is *nothing*

One could argue that it is a big age gap, or should be considered one (bcus the canon series doesn't care about age gaps at all lol) by the standards of Warriors society, bcus the commonly accepted average age of becoming a warrior is 12 moons, meaning that the younger cat would be born by the time the older cat would be considered an adult

Which, yeah, does sound a bit weird when you put it into that light. But if that's enough to consider the ship "problematic," you have an extremely limited pool of "good" ships, so limited to the point where it rly wouldn't make sense for the long run of the series

You're telling me that cats' only eligible partners are ones who are born within, like, less than six moons of them, if they wanna consistently stay in the same life stage? What are the odds of a good match happening within that pool? What if the uncommon situation of a cat being the only one in that age range occurs (ex: Birchpaw (Birchfall) in The New Prophecy), are they just supposed to never get a mate no matter how badly they may want to (if they don't want a mate, awesome, and a convenient coincidence, but if they do)? What if all the cats in that range just so happen to be somehow related?

The warrior cats, despite how anthropormorphized they are, still aren't humans, and mature at a different rate than humans, so one being an adult at the same time as one being a young child and then pursuing each other later in life, a year between them (WHEN THEY'RE BOTH CONSENTING ADULTS!!!), has a way different connotation than it does for humans, who would have to have an age gap of over eighteen years (in the US for me, age of consent may be different elsewhere) in order for that to be the case

I get being grossed out by age gaps, I am too, but I genuinely don't feel like an age gap of one year or so is anything to freak out over the way so many ppl do. If that's your limit then there's hardly a ship that's not "creepy" in terms of age gaps. If you're fine with that, whatever, but you might be surprised by what ships you may like that have an age gap of that size

For me, personally, an age gap bigger than roughly three years is when I start feeling squicked (in Warriors shipping specifically), but it varies from ship to ship, and ymmv of course (and of course this only applies if they pursued each other when they were both adults)

But point being I think the Warriors fandom should rethink what's considered a "big" age gap bcus no small amount of the ones I see accused of being that aren't that at all, not by my personal standards at least

.

[cringelordofchaos]

Common ADHD traits/experiences I've heard of !!

(I was gonna make a post about why I might be neurodivergent but I figured it'd be going a bit too personal. Also this is just easier)

(ADHD is much more nuanced and complex than I may make it appear in this post. A lot of ADHD people don't have a lot of these traits or have traits not mentioned here. For example there are three types of ADHD (inattentive, hyperactive and combined) and most inattentive adhders are not going to be hyperactive lol)

Warning: badly worded (I'm stupid that's my excuse). also I'll go on personal rants as to how some of these may apply to me (whilst I can reasonate with each point listed here I won't go on a rat on all of these)

Physical hyperactivity (inability to sit/stand still (I used to think this meant that people with ADHD were incapable of. Sitting down (while constantly fidgeting or not) for one whole class)(I was an idiot)(I still am)). (Just overall constant , movement (I might have it idk I'm ALWAYS

Excessive talking

Stimming, fidgeting, general and overall repetitive movements (such as flapping hands, pacing, clasping hands together, etc)

Low attention span regarding things that don't garner much interest to you

More likely to be autistic, have anxiety or depression (or generally have other diagnostic conditions)

Ability to Hyperfocus on specific things, at times out of their control

More likely to have a lower Performance in school that most people

Proneness to addiction

Rejection sensitive dysphoria/RSD (really sensitive and afraid to rejection or criticism or disapproval or stuff like that. I'm questioning if I have it and I'm pretty sure I do bc i would have a whole breakdown bc i accidentally had a bad unintentional thought about this cool person I didn't want to hate me)(it's complicated)

Emotional disregulation (easily irritable, excited, stressed, stronger emotions, more likely to lash out, etc)(people with this are usually described to be much more emotional)

restless leg syndrome (except it's permanent lol)

Lower memory spans regarding most things

Forgetting to fulfill basic needs (such as eating, drinking, showering, etc)

Women/AFAB people are more likely to be diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (this of course does not rucking mean afab people can't b hyperactive my god)

Mental hyperactivity (racing/constant/overlapping/repetitive thoughts or stuff like that)

Impulsivity (doing stuff without thinking them fully though or not knowing why)

Sensory issues (sensitivity to sensory output such as noise, brightness, etc)

Easily bored/underwhelmed/understimulated - more likely to want to seek constant dopamine (due to l

Easily overwhelmed (whether itd be due to aforementioned sensory issues, emotional disregulation, rsd or stuff like that)

More likely to be perceived as "childish" (from what I've heard obviously this and many other things listed here don't apply to everyone)

Executive dysfunction (can't do shit at all)(ok it's more complicated than that just Google it up or something)

Having Hyperfixations (things you're DEEPLY invested in for a period of time, it can be a few days, weeks, months, sometimes more than a year, depends rly)(I'm still questioning if I'm neurodivergent but like I'm pretty sure I was in a DEEP hyperfixation mode when it came to sonic for like. A YEAR. like I literally it was literally the only thing on my brain the only thing in my life. and I would get realllytyy excited about learning obscure information about it or infodumping and I would flap my hands bc of how excited and passionate I was Abt it)(man I miss the times when I was so passionate about stuff I liked it was so fun :(( )

Higher/lower levels of empathy (I've seen this moreso been brought up with discussions regarding autism but I've also seen it brought up with ADHD itself too)

Lower levels of dopamine

Impatience

More likely to be a maladaptive daydreamer

Its cause is usually heavily genetic (meaning if your family or a family member has ADHD, you are more likely to have ADHD yourself)

More likely to have insomniac/have general problems with sleep (I'm questioning ADHD. I'm writing this like... Five hours before I'm supposed to wake up for school. Great.)

There is also a higher relevance between ADHD and PTSD

If I missed something important let me know!! Also if you don't know some of he

This post is not meant to be used as a substitute for self nor professional diagnosis, though if you feel like you might have ADHD because of this post I recommend further research and conversations with trusted advisors such as parental figures or therapists/doctors (not me not listening to my own advice)(<- that was me regarding my latter advice)(I'm too scared to tell my parents about it man)(idk why)

Things to note:

ADHD is not just about little elementary school hyperactive white boys !!

There's a lot of things I mightve missed

Not everyone with ADHD has all these traits (obviously)

Some of these traits may be common due to the commonness of ADHD + autism overlap (idk though)

Apparently it's one of the most diagnosed forms of neurodivergence in kids (about 7-10% of kids in the USA are diagnosed with ADHD)(APPARENTLY idk)

There's more but I'm tired right now byeeee

[witchdisk]

your video is AMAZING!! what video editing software did you use and was it easy to learn? (<- am trying to learn basic video editing myself) and did you have to download the pig footage from somewhere? (no pressure to answer + thank you for sharing such lovely art + thank u to all the girlies in the video sharing the performance art of their tattoos it is genuinely so meaningful to me 💜)

thank you!!

I used davinci resolve bc I saw it was free and it looked good enuf. I had zero issues with bugs in the software. It was intuitive enough, and I figured out a lot of things by trial and error. When I wanted to do something specific and couldn't figure it out, I was able to find video tutorials that taught me how to. A lot of the ways I was doing things felt clumsy, and I know I could learn much more to make editing smoother. I would say this process was not very difficult. It took me most of one day to go from 0 knowledge to making this.

it is like learning to code where having a project you care about really helps.

I got the pig footage from the official how-to video from the hog slapper manufacturer. I used yt-dlp to download the video.

thank you for watching!! I am so grateful that everyone let me share this :)

its kind of fun going from "regular but still fucked up tuesday night" to "performance art" where the only difference is how it's presented post-scene. making a whole video was unplanned!

p.s. we are not all girlies there is at least one of us that label doesn't rly apply to i think (also only one using primarily she/her pronouns rn lmaoo)

[toytle]

Hey! Your art really inspires me. Do you have any tips on drawing faces? Or where to start? :))

i answered an ask a while back on my drawing process if you’d like to apply my general tips to faces!

but when it comes to face studies + interpreting specifically, the best way i can describe my process is.. vibes? it’s why i avoid drawing characters i’m not familiar with, and why the most helpful kind of refs i can receive as a commission artist includes some indication of personality (like different expressions or a brief bio)

i mentioned in the other ask that i have poor facial recognition + visual memory, so collecting references of a variety of faces over time helps more than you know! try to go for candid shots of average ppl too, pinterest models start getting redundant at some point. i like to study actors bc, yes, even tho they’re more likely to be conventionally attractive, many of them are casted specifically bc they have a recognizable face or some kind of unique feature(s). it’s even better if you do a character from a live-action show bc they’ll look more natural in motion than the actor posing for the camera. this goes double for people-watching irl (DO NOT take photos of strangers without their consent). basically if you’re me, romanticize all the different features that exist and always take an interest in the inherent uniqueness of every individual ^__^ 👍

the smaller details also rly help liven up a face; every feature adds up. i usually start drawing based on feeling, and Then try to go into what i’ve drawn with a deliberate consciousness. study what feels right and exaggerate the traits that are more unique to This Particular Face. i tend to take notes for characters i’ll draw often bc i’ll know what Vibe i’m going for. sometimes i can tell that smth is off/missing, so i keep notes to know where to steer my eyes. having visual-only refs helps ofc, but i like giving a story to the things i draw, it builds up the bigger picture in my head

[omeletcat]

Hey! I recently started following your blog and I'd like to ask you some rather important questions before I start offering advice and my thoughts.

Why are you making a game? And for who?

Cause I don't wanna get in the way of your creativity just because you're not making "a game for me".

Like, as an example, I mostly play games on controllers, when I play games, and you tying so many of the mechanics and controls to the mouse means using controller input will not be very easy to add, if possible at all

But ... If you don't like playing games with a controller, and wanna see how much you can do with the keyboard/mouse inputs, then it is definitely the right decision to tie all these mechanics to that! But if me pointing this out makes you go "Oh right! There are people who mostly use controllers and I definitely wanna make my game work for them as well!" then it's a valid thing to point out that your game could prove hard to make work with a controller as input.

This is, btw, important to keep in mind when receiving critiques from others from your end, are they giving you tips/ideas/etc. that align with your vision of what you want to make, and following their advice will help you? Or are their points valid from their point of view, but would just muddy your vision and trying to accommodate it would mean falling into the trap of trying to please everyone, failing to make a good game for anyone?

Ty for asking! I'm mostly making this game because i think its fun and i rly wanna make something cool that people will enjoy. My ultimate dream is to make something so cool that it would be worth making fanart for! For the who part idrk, for people like me who like the kind of game i am making? ALSO TYSM FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THE CONTROLLER THING I had a rly small thought about smth like that ages ago but brushed it off thinking i should focus on making the core mechanics first. But yea you're totally right! implementing this combat system with a controller would be hard, especially since i mostly grew up playing with the wii.. and like a playstation controller three times. What i usually play is in random free stuff i could find online. I am unsure how it would work/how it even works when you apply a controller to a computer to play a game with it but i am definitely gonna think about this!! The core idea is the aiming, i could either change the mouse aiming to aiming with a joystick and moving a mouse like thingy around but i feel that wouldn't rly work.

The current aiming mechanic works kinda like this the screen is divided into 8 area's (4 directions and one for close and long range attacks) to attack you press either left or right mouse click and depending on if the mouse is in the central area or outside of it it will give a different attack for attacks that have a specific direction, the 4 area's decide where the attack will be aimed thanks to the mouse position. I could make it so that the player selects the area's like an option button? I can't rly explain it, imagine a list of buttons and moving the joystick to go down, imagine that but with these area's! This would work best for attacks are directed to a certain area like Rae's blast attack.

It has 4 directions and only aims at those parts. So for this attack it would work great. You move around the selector and switch around between them to aim pick a direction and if its far or close. But for some other attacks like Luca's main it aims towards the mouse position and doesn't pick a direction depending on where the mouse is, I am unsure how i would do this if i pick the idea of switching between zone's. I may just make it so the direction the player is moving while attacking is where it is aiming. Because when the player is attacking you can't move. I think that would work out. HOWEVER I am unsure how I would add this, how to detect if the player is using a controller, and a bunch of other things, i'm pretty sure i can add controller inputs in the settings and make those work for basic movements and attacks, but i would need to add a few extra things to fully make it compatible for controllers.

Sry if this rambling is kinda messy but they are the first idea's that come to mind how i would make the game playable for controller!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING THIS!! I would have never thought about making it playable for controller if you wouldn't have helped me!!

You said you had more advice/thoughts so if you want to please share!! Any advice is be insanely helpful!

[lotus-pear]

AUTODESK???!? FELLOW AUTODESK USER?!?!?! please op you have you tell me your secrets I’ve been toiling away in the trenches for forever its such a pain… or at the very least, how do you choose which pens work for you/you use? its so cool seeing an artist make such amazing art out of the app I complain about all the time /pos lol

WE ARE ALL BUT EXTINCT HIII HELLO HIIII!!!! ITS LOVELY TO SEE MY BRETHREN HERE!!!!! ok so for brushes i normally tend to choose a grainy pencil like brush bc it gives the natural appearance that you actually drew w a pencil yk? the specific brush is called the primary pencil and it’s in the basics brush pack if u were wondering. i color everything w the inking pen and soft pencil in the legacy brush pack. i’d recommend alternating between the pen and the soft pencil when shading bc you want some hard edges as well as some soft edges for shadows. applying blush is a little different, i use the watercolor brush for that bc it gives a gentle wash and it’s rly easy to control the sensitivity. also ik a lot of ppl say to utilize layers but if i’m being honest i only use like five layers max💀💀 adding too many layers just confuses u and like ur not cooler the more layers u use or smth like that

[spearxwind]

not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

[bfwonho]

AITA but i dont wanna use reddit

ok you know what here is the situation. my (only recently) 20 yr old friend (i met them four years ago when we both worked at mcd) lived with their strict, emotionally abusive, overprotective parents until recently. their parents would confiscate tech for yrs at a time, wouldn't let them get vaccinated (i had to help them do that), guilt and shame them, etc. also obviously homophobic and my friend is transfem nb and queer. theyre also the eldest sibling of quite a few and had to handle the pressure of that responsibility and their parents never wanted them to do normal things like getting a car and moving out. i was always there encouraging them even when we stopped working together bc i was like fuck this naive gullible homeschooled kid has no one and they remind me of my younger sibling and im gonna be there for them as much as i can. the only reason they even got a car eventually is cus i kept telling them to so they cld move out

cut back to barely a year ago, they're still so naive and gullible they've lent like 1k+ to ppl who won't pay them back, but they still have like 10-20k in savings and now their own car. they also get into digital art with my help and get into furry porn or whatever. im like ok i guess ur an adult now do what u want. and then theyre like "ive got an online partner from CANADA!!! (we r australian) don't freak out i know it's bad but he's 30." i'm like oh god. they've been together 3 months ish and my friend RLY wants to visit their fuckass boyfriend and i'm like please be careful, please wait at least a year, i know u wont wanna listen to how i rly feel about this but at least just take these precautions. i'm also like when you do meet irl he should come here ur barely 19 and he's 30 like it only makes sense. and theyre like "thank u i promise i will do that"

and then maybe 10 or 11 months into their relationship i find out my friend is in canada with their bf, and has been for like a month, and i only know this bc they're asking if i can pick them up from sydney airport. im like errr that's pretty far away but take the train and i'll pick you up from the station and they're like ok sure! and i ask a bit more about it and find out they believe their parents have been hacking into their laptop because why else would they be suspicious that this canadian guy is their boyfriend, i'm like actually no offense but it's really fucking obvious i don't think they did that... and they're like "yeah anyway my parents are no longer picking me up which is why i need a lift, i admitted i have a boyfriend and they're calling him a pedo (and i almost agree but i just smile and nod) and so i'm not going back and taking their bs anymore, i'm gonna sleep in my car if i have to" so i offer for them to stay at my place for a few weeks.

they go get their stuff from their place, i buy them a pizza cus they havent had dinner, i help them get their stuff inside, set up a temporary bed. they tell me they plan to be out within a few days, i tell them they can stay longer if they need to, but currently their only job is doordash and they should focus on getting a real job so they can find a place and i'm more than happy to help them find somewhere. theyre the type of person to say sorry for everything and not let themselves ever feel comfortable, so i make sure they know they can use the kitchen and bathroom and everything while they're here and to not feel like a huge burden, im gonna be charging them a tiny bit of rent anyway so yeah.

now tell me why it's been over a month, they've applied to only a few places, i specifically put in a good word with them at my job and told them to call back and ask about the application and they just haven't, they've just been doordashing and filling my entire fridge and cupboard with their food, i tell them to use the laundromat cus we don't have enough space for their washing too and they end up asking if they can use our washing machine anyway (i reluctantly say yes), they destroy all my kitchen sponges on washing this one shitty pan i have cus they have to cook an entire grand meal from scratch for breakfast lunch and dinner, they wash up but i'm the only person who cleans the floors and the bathroom so now i'm feeling cramped and stressed out...

i ask my mum about what to do, she says give them 2 weeks to move out, my mum is a guarantor on my lease so in the group chat i explain the situation and say they have 2 weeks, they NEVER RESPOND and start not coming home until late at night... i'm considering moving into another place with a friend atp so i'm like yo maybe you can get on this lease and THEN they respond and start showing up again... and today i called and updated mum on the situation and her partner got on the phone, me and my sibling only got this place cus he apparently called in a favour cus we were rly struggling to find any fucking housing, and so he says "tell him i mean THEMMM if theyre not out tomorrow i will forcibly remove them" and so my sibling makes sure to tell them this face to face so they cant avoid actually responding. i also find out today that this whole time they've been flat broke (to the point they had to borrow my money just to get petrol despite doordashing like 40 hours a week) because they HAVE BEEN HELPING. PAY. THEIR GROWN ASS. SHITTY FUCKING USELESS. PARTNERS. RENT. THIS GROWN ASS MAN NOT ONLY HAD THEM PAY TO GO SEE HIM AND SUCK HIM OFF AND COOK FOR HIM. NOT ONLY WAS LETTING THEM GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA AND JUST BE HOMELESS. BUT HE IS ACTIVELY TAKING THEIR FUCKING MONEY. despite all of this i am deep down INCREDIBLY GLAD that my mum's partner put his foot down to get them out of my house and i feel guilty about it despite risking eviction cus im breaking my lease agreement by having them here loooll

tldr my 20 yr old friend has been living in my house illegally for over a month bc they refuse to go back to their shitty parents, they are however broke and don't have a stable job and their 30 yr old boyfriend is leeching off of them, and now i'm essentially kicking them out of my place within 2 days because my own housing security is at risk

[sonny-d]

i think toritsuka has the same understanding of women as i have but he hasnt had his lil like fundamental realization abt it yet

even as a man that likes men i do not go near men they scare the fuck outa me im mostly only friends with women and trans men and like a few a very small amount of cis men bc again they scare the fuck out of me bc i have some underlying issue with touch that i havent figured out it might be like child abuse or smth i have no idea and i dont rly wanna know but my few guy friends will try to fight sometimes and i swear as soon as one of them comes near me i go for the dick not the gut not the head i need to immobilize them as easily as i possibly can with the least effort in case i mess up but women arent like that im just fine with touching women bc they arent typically as aggressive

also i totally said men and women what that actually means is masculine ppl and feminine ppl but on a much deeper level than i think most ppl understand so men and women works better for the explination

so i think toritsuka has the same kind of understanding of masculinity and femininity so thats why he only ever tries to hang around women and saiki (saiki is smth else ill go into) is bc he trusts women the same way he trusts ghosts and thats also part of him trusting ghosts is not only that they are inherently good but that they literally cannot touch him

and now for why hes pervy (its sexual so beware)

on my rankings of what incites the most feeling sex is my number one especially with someone i like bc its physical and emotional stimulation and its just good its a way to feel things and this is not a me specific i dont think im pretty sure this is common so i think it applies to toritsuka and thats why hes pervy is bc he needs that kind of emotional stimulus and i think it rly goes with the cotards delusion thing somebody said bc smth i thought of earlier is that hed get it with his heart like hed feel like his heart is dying (im not projecting i swear) and the appeal of sex is very heavy in the increased heart rate so i think its some kind of reminder for him as his heart beats faster and more aggressively that hes alive

@jkgnggj this is for the fic fr