witchdisk

[witchdisk]

tbh i followed you because i was baited by the hot null.meats and you made me do the gay hand-wave thing for the rest of my life and then got intimidated because i found out you were also much cooler and ethereal than i could ever be. i dont have knives or cool music devices or little tokens to give out to people. i abandoned my sigil when i turned 23. i could never be or understand you and it makes me simultaneously envious and enraptured.

holy fuck i wrote out an incredibly long response that took like twenty minutes and tumblr just broke and now it's gone. i should have known better. remind me to respond to this again

[witchdisk]

tbh i followed you because i was baited by the hot null.meats and you made me do the gay hand-wave thing for the rest of my life and then got intimidated because i found out you were also much cooler and ethereal than i could ever be. i dont have knives or cool music devices or little tokens to give out to people. i abandoned my sigil when i turned 23. i could never be or understand you and it makes me simultaneously envious and enraptured.

holy fuck i wrote out an incredibly long response that took like twenty minutes and tumblr just broke and now it's gone. i should have known better. remind me to respond to this again

[witchdisk]

[witchdisk]

Two skin removal pieces at the same time??? Work done by @spatchganker and I, on @dangselene and Cy, with assistance from the ever-lovely Gertrude. More pics/vids on my gallery page:

[witchdisk]

I made a thing. My zine in the lineage of Fucking Trans Women by Mira Bellwether, about my anatomy as a trans woman who's had nullification surgery. It started as a user manual for a partner but I believe it has value beyond that.

https://bsky.app/profile/crythedral.bsky.social/post/3lecwcb6pgc23

[witchdisk]

[witchdisk]

Hello 👋,

I hope this message finds you well. My name is Aziz, and I’m reaching out with a heartfelt plea to help my family find safety and reunite with our mother. 😞

The ongoing war in Gaza has torn my family apart. My mother and newborn sister are stranded in Egypt, while I, along with the rest of my sex family members, am trapped in the midst of the genocide in Gaza. We have not only been separated but have also lost our home and are enduring unimaginable hardships. 💔

Your support can make a difference. Whether by reading our story, donating, or sharing our campaign with others, you can help us reunite, find safety, and start anew. 🙏🕊

Thank you, from the depths of my heart, for your kindness, compassion, and solidarity during this difficult time. ❤🍉

https://gofund.me/58268669 🔗

.

[witchdisk]

Source: Dai Dark 大ダーク

by Q Hayashida

[witchdisk]

set up for dual new moon skin removal

[witchdisk]

the "I'm going to kill myself" to "you all should worship the ground I walk on" pipeline

[witchdisk]

the "I'm going to kill myself" to "you all should worship the ground I walk on" pipeline

[witchdisk]

shoutout to one of the only pictures I like from when I had rly bad psoriasis

[witchdisk]

[witchdisk]

performing the inner alchemy so instead of giving myself large scars (bad) I can give myself large scars (good)

[witchdisk]

Consent models, sexual ethics, rape.

Consent as a model works best if ppl have enlightenment style rational consistent subjectivity. (Perfect self knowledge, consistent across time, coherent and unconflicted). Sober, enthusiastic, ongoing, verbal consistent is a set of guardrails to try and deal with the ways ppl fall short of enlightenment subjectivity but problems remain.

People don't have perfect self knowledge, and we regularly want to have sex we're conflicted about, have sex while drunk/high, have strong regrets that don't crystalize till after the fact, etc.

The guardrail model came in large part out of a desire to eliminate grey areas such that if something went wrong and someone got hurt, there was clear fault. But this model is deeply connected to the assumption of sex involving two parties, one active and one receptive, with the active party having a social power advantage and more or less sole responsibility regarding consent.

An underlying assumption is that if someone acquiesces to sex against their desire, it's due to coercion from the other party (who is at fault) or at least it would have sufficiently compromised the enthusiasm of the consent such that the other party should have been able to notice.

But trauma is complicated and I think it's real to say that sometimes the "party at fault" is a past abuser, or society at large, to the extent that it's anyone.

It's also completely possible that there's less-than-ideal consent without it being a huge deal, or that in the moment consent practices are as good as can reasonably be expected and someone still walks away traumatized. Or genuine negligence, that does hurt someone, but clearly doesn't belong in the same category as intentionally dismissing a partners non-consent.

If we reject state carceral systems, I'm not sure how useful it is to stay focused on blame in these types of situations.

More generally, I think one-size-fits-all models of consent really start to break down. With the mass education, public health type approach of sex ed, a one sentence check list of attributes (sober, enthusiastic ongoing and explicit) is about as much nuance as you can hope for. But it leaves a situation in which ppl are having drunk sex all the time, within scenes and ongoing relationships that have clearly chosen to accept it as legitimate, while essentially leaving a gun on the table. The ability to at any point declare consent illegitimate for a specific act since it wasn't sober.

The ongoing and enthusiastic elements are also notably ambiguous. Is that an explicit check-in every minute or so? Every 10 seconds? With each new act? How quickly do you need to catch a partner starting to dissociate before it makes you a rapist? How long can you let yourself be enraptured and lost in the act before you risk it?

This shit is messy.

But I do think it's straightforward to acknowledge that ppl build approaches to consent with each other over the course of multiple sexual encounters. Sometimes in ways that aren't explicitly about consent (eg making plans to get drunk/high and then fuck indicating a clear openness to non-sober consent) but sometimes explicitly (eg a large portion of my reason sexual relationships have quickly hit point of checking in to be like "are you comfortable if I try stuff with your body, within reasonable bounds, without checking in and trust you to tell me if it's uncomfortable?" Cuz that's way more hot and that is in fact an important aspect of sex. But I've also had recent partners I wouldn't make that offer with, it's about a specific rapport.

A lot of my inclination lately (in a way that seems to be a trend on here) has been towards a strong model of consent. That is, if I say I'm down for something, you can act on that and vice versa. Even if it's outside the bounds of traditional consent. That we can consent to acts that include risks, that we can consent in advance to non-consent in the moment, that we (with appropriate reflection and bounding) can agree to no safe word scenes if we want to, and if we have a bad time that isn't the other parties' fault.

In all of this, I lean towards an ethic of care moreso than one of blame. That is, a strong model of consent says that if I agree to something, you aren't to blame for acting on that, but we can foster a sense of care for each other, trying to form best practices for avoiding anyone getting hurt or otherwise feeling like shit. Rather than consent by default, that is shattered by the smallest departure moving the act from the category of consensual sex into the category of rape. Consent is a baseline we establish, and then we build up practices on top of it, collaboratively, as best we can. And none of us should have to bear the paralyzing fear that letting our guard down for a moment during sex could by way of negligence turn us into a rapist.

I think this model deals well with most of sex ed style consent's issues around rational subjectivity and one-sided consent.

It does not directly address questions of coercion however, and I think there's still a lot to say about what stays private as an agreement between directly involved parties and a more general, social sexual ethics, and how this all plays out when ppl who've been fucking have a messy falling out and care evaporates rapidly. (I'll get into coercion some here but leave the other aspects for later)

Regarding coercion, I think we can still say that active and deliberate moves to push ppl towards agreeing to something they otherwise wouldn't compromise consent. Asking someone over and over again is still pushy, pushing someone towards getting high/drunk in hopes that they'll acquiesce to the kind of sex you want is different from a mutual decision that you're fine fucking high and what bounds you want to set on that.

The lower level, not necessarily deliberate shit that gets labeled as coercion is messier. If a partner gets extremely sad every time you say no to the kind of sex they want, that absolutely creates pressure. But Im gonna reject any model that puts feeling the wrong feelings and failing to fully mask them in the same category as rape. I think these kinds of patterns are the opposite of care. I still subscribe to a strong model of consent and if you agree to something because you don't want to make a partner sad, that is still agreeing to it. But ideally I think everyone involved / around such a dynamic would try and identify if such a pattern is happening and hit the breaks (eg establish a hard and ongoing no to sex).

This shit is hard, and like, uhhhh, a big part of my position here has developed out of reflecting on less-than-ideal long term sexual relationships I've had, that within traditional models I could easily class as abusive. But I ultimately think it's been more empowering and more helpful for me to shift away from those relationships being the other parties' fault and towards an approach where first and foremost, I needed to get better at knowing myself and being willing to say no, and having a hard-no response to situations that create pressure against that. While still being able to maintain that 100% my partners ideally would have been better to me. (But also, like, the ways in which I wish they'd been better to me is tied up in their own shit, and I'm not gonna say ppl need to be stable/collected/not-crazy to be allowed to fuck, or that ppl should feel guilty for being where they're at. That doesn't help anything).

[witchdisk]

Consent models, sexual ethics, rape.

Consent as a model works best if ppl have enlightenment style rational consistent subjectivity. (Perfect self knowledge, consistent across time, coherent and unconflicted). Sober, enthusiastic, ongoing, verbal consistent is a set of guardrails to try and deal with the ways ppl fall short of enlightenment subjectivity but problems remain.

People don't have perfect self knowledge, and we regularly want to have sex we're conflicted about, have sex while drunk/high, have strong regrets that don't crystalize till after the fact, etc.

The guardrail model came in large part out of a desire to eliminate grey areas such that if something went wrong and someone got hurt, there was clear fault. But this model is deeply connected to the assumption of sex involving two parties, one active and one receptive, with the active party having a social power advantage and more or less sole responsibility regarding consent.

An underlying assumption is that if someone acquiesces to sex against their desire, it's due to coercion from the other party (who is at fault) or at least it would have sufficiently compromised the enthusiasm of the consent such that the other party should have been able to notice.

But trauma is complicated and I think it's real to say that sometimes the "party at fault" is a past abuser, or society at large, to the extent that it's anyone.

It's also completely possible that there's less-than-ideal consent without it being a huge deal, or that in the moment consent practices are as good as can reasonably be expected and someone still walks away traumatized. Or genuine negligence, that does hurt someone, but clearly doesn't belong in the same category as intentionally dismissing a partners non-consent.

If we reject state carceral systems, I'm not sure how useful it is to stay focused on blame in these types of situations.

More generally, I think one-size-fits-all models of consent really start to break down. With the mass education, public health type approach of sex ed, a one sentence check list of attributes (sober, enthusiastic ongoing and explicit) is about as much nuance as you can hope for. But it leaves a situation in which ppl are having drunk sex all the time, within scenes and ongoing relationships that have clearly chosen to accept it as legitimate, while essentially leaving a gun on the table. The ability to at any point declare consent illegitimate for a specific act since it wasn't sober.

The ongoing and enthusiastic elements are also notably ambiguous. Is that an explicit check-in every minute or so? Every 10 seconds? With each new act? How quickly do you need to catch a partner starting to dissociate before it makes you a rapist? How long can you let yourself be enraptured and lost in the act before you risk it?

This shit is messy.

But I do think it's straightforward to acknowledge that ppl build approaches to consent with each other over the course of multiple sexual encounters. Sometimes in ways that aren't explicitly about consent (eg making plans to get drunk/high and then fuck indicating a clear openness to non-sober consent) but sometimes explicitly (eg a large portion of my reason sexual relationships have quickly hit point of checking in to be like "are you comfortable if I try stuff with your body, within reasonable bounds, without checking in and trust you to tell me if it's uncomfortable?" Cuz that's why more hot and that is in fact an important aspect of sex. But I've also had recent partners I wouldn't make that offer with, it's about a specific rapport.

A lot of my inclination lately (in a way that seems to be a trend on here) has been towards a strong model of consent. That is, if I say I'm down for something, you can act on that and vice versa. Even if it's outside the bounds of traditional consent. That we can consent to acts that include risks, that we can consent in advance to non-consent in the moment, that we (with appropriate reflection and bounding) can agree to no safe word scenes if we want to, and if we have a bad time that isn't the other parties' fault.

In all of this, I lean towards an ethic of care moreso than one of blame. That is, a strong model of consent says that if I agree to something, you aren't to blame for acting on that, but we can foster a sense of care for each other, trying to form best practices for avoiding anyone getting hurt or otherwise feeling like shit. Rather than consent by default, that is shattered by the smallest departure moving the act from the category of consensual sex into the category of rape. Consent is a baseline we establish, and then we build up practices on top of it, collaboratively, as best we can. And none of us should have to bear the paralyzing fear that letting our guard down for a moment during sex could by way of negligence turn us into a rapist.

I think this model deals well with most of sex ed style consent's issues around rational subjectivity and one-sided consent.

It does not directly address questions if coercion however, and I think there's still a lot to say about what stays private as an agreement between directly involved parties and a more general, social sexual ethics, and how this all plays out when ppl who've been fucking have a messy falling out and care evaporates rapidly. (I'll get into coercion some here but leave the other aspects for later)

Regarding coercion, I think we can still say that active and deliberate moves to push ppl towards agreeing to something they otherwise wouldn't compromise consent. Asking someone over and over again is still pushy, pushing someone towards getting high/drunk in hopes that they'll acquiesce to the kind of sex you want is different from a mutual decision that you're fine fucking high and what bounds you want to set on that.

The lower level, not necessarily deliberate shit that gets labeled as coercion is messier. If a partner gets extremely sad every time you say no to the kind of sex they want, that absolutely creates pressure. But Im gonna reject any model that puts feeling the wrong feelings and failing to fully mask them in the same category as rape. I think these kinds of patterns are the opposite of care. I still subscribe to a strong model of consent and if you agree to something because you don't want to make a partner sad, that is still agreeing to it. But ideally I think everyone involved / around such a dynamic would try and identify if such a pattern is happening and hit the breaks (eg establish a hard and ongoing no to sex).

This shit is hard, and like, uhhhh, a big part of my position here has developed out of reflecting on less-than-ideal long term sexual relationships I've had, that within traditional models I could easily class as abusive. But I ultimately think it's been more empowering and more helpful for me to shift away from those relationships being the other parties' fault and towards an approach where first and foremost, I needed to get better at knowing myself and being willing to say no, and having a hard-no response to situations that create pressure against that. While still being able to maintain that 100% my partners ideally would have been better to me. (But also, like, the ways in which I wish they'd been better to me is tied up in their own shit, and I'm not gonna say ppl need to be stable/collected/not-crazy to be allowed to fuck, or that ppl should feel guilty for being where they're at. That doesn't help anything).

[witchdisk]

see, you get it. if I could only have one blade, it'd be this one. (though 10s and 11s have their place)

I got some 15c blades recently, they're a bit more pointed at the tip like the 11, so I was hoping they would be a better all-around blade than the 15. they seem to be about the same, unfortunately, but I'll only really know once I've tried them on real flesh.

also shoutout to 12b blades they look wicked cool