#that quote that says : women have no idea how much men hate them

[iceyrukia]

A guy acting decent in front of their wife/girl isn’t a perfect indicator of a man’s lack of misogyny because the moment when a woman messes up or upsets them men always have misogyny in their arsenal to fall back into in as a way to punish women. That’s the male privilege that all men have and can utilize it at any given moment.

[le-trash-prince]

I know this website has been shared in BL fandom before, but I just want to pull some information from fujoshi.info that I think can be really enlightening in regards to how TERF rhetoric is used against BL fans, namely the idea that BL fans are straight women or that BL is made for the consumption of straight women.

I grew up having things like this said to my face as a young queer by people who knew I read BL, and it made it that much harder to accept both my gender and my sexuality, which, ironically, BL helped me to process. So I have little patience for these kinds of statements regarding BL. They are invalidating of many people's queer experiences.

Here is my stance: BL is made for BL fans. It's not made "for the hets" or "for people who aren't queer." It's made for BL fans. That includes us queers. We are and have always been part of the audience that BL is made for.

BL authors and fans come in all different shapes and sizes. Trans men and cisgender men both read and produce BL media. Based on multiple surveys of queer BL fans the majority of fans, male or female, fall on the bisexual spectrum. (source)

There is more, in the link above, about BL demographics, under the "Misconception 2" tab, that I think is well worth the read.

Second of all, I think the idea that "some BL is made for queers and some BL isn't" is just a repackaged TERF talking point that BL is made for straight women. Let me be clear: I am not implying that people who say things like this are TERFs. But you are parroting TERF talking points and propogating their ideology by implying that the people for whom these shows are made must not be queer.

Under gender critical ideology, trans men in fandom are treated as ‘hetero sexual female fujoshi’ who consume too much ‘sexual gay male content’ only to later ‘come out as “gay trans men”’ (Anti-fujoshi 2023). Gender criticals refer to trans men (and by extension fujoshi) as ‘homophobic’ due to their belief that trans men are heterosexual women forcing their way into authentic (i.e. cisgender) gay male spaces (Anti-fujoshi 2023). (link)

Unfortunately, this concept has long since been picked up by people in the queer community who think they're fighting homophobia... and TERFs love it.

I hate fujoshi but we’re even more astounded how [social justice warriors] [took] our statements as some pro-LGBT agenda […] [and] swallowed our thinly veiled gender critical statements […]. We’re ‘transphobic’. (link)

Here are examples from fujoshi.info of TERF talking points regarding BL fans being cishet women. These are quotes from actual TERFs, and I am placing them under a cut because they can be triggering, even though this is only just a sampling. But statements like these are the roots of the idea that BL is made for straight women, and I want people to understand the implications of what they are saying.

To keep my conclusion above the cut, I just want to say that it is dangerous to play into this agenda by making claims about who BL is made for. KinnPorsche was made for me. Pit Babe was made for me. Kidnap was made for me. Queer people have always been part of the BL audience, whether the series reflects what any given person considers to be "an authentic queer experience" or not.

"Yaoi is made only for women by women and seeks to commodify MLM identities and love while oppressing them and denying them their rights. “Fujoshis” are not friends of queer liberation."

"the idea that we should just let cishet women have a fetish for gay men at the off chance they might be gay or trans is fucking insanity"

"No fujoshi is a proper LGBT advocate. They are all straight women pretending to be bi."

"Fujoshis just started calling themselves non binary and gay trans men and most of you just fell for it huh?

"[fujoshis] refers to specifically cishet women who only consume and create m/m content because they view it as something sexual because it is taboo and don't care about actual gay men, along with blatantly hating gay women [...] We cannot dilute what the term fujoshi means and the severe homophobia that mindset is rooted in."

[vickyvicarious]

Hello! I was wondering what you make of Seward's phrase "is it possible that love is all subjective or all objective?" I've seen people allude to different meanings on the phrase but I can't quite figure out what it means

I wanted to wait until after 11 October to answer this ask, just so I didn't have to spoiler for the context of my reply. Which is that... my instinct is to oppose Jonathan and Seward's loves for this one. Specifically, in their reactions to the women they love becoming vampires. (I'm choosing Jack specifically to talk about because we get in his head more than we do for the other suitors, though by actions one could argue they fall more on the same side as he does.)

Firstly, let's take a brief moment to talk about the specific words used. Subjective generally means dictated by personal taste, and objective would be based on fact or truth. So, a love that is all one or the other could be very different depending on what the person you love is like. For example, an objective love would appreciate someone's virtues, while a subjective one might find things to love even in their flaws. Or on a larger scale, and much more relevant to how the phrase is used in the book... what would happen when the person you love is becoming a vampire, a creature that is factually and objectively evil and wrong? How would you react, how would you feel?

It depends on your type of love.

Jonathan's love is all subjective. Even though he absolutely hates and despises vampires, once he knows Mina is at risk of becoming one he resolves to join her if need be. He sees her rejected by God when the communion wafer burns her forehead, and he says 'actually no, I think the holiest kind of love is the one that would lead me to join her in her unholy state'. Even when Mina outright appeals to him to kill her if she is too far gone - an appeal to his objective understanding, for him to express his love in a way that confronts the truth of what she would become - Jonathan remains silent and in doing so refuses to make that promise. It's implied that he would be willing to fight the other men in order to protect her, even though they are his allies and friends. His beliefs warp around the shape of his love. He will destroy himself and others for the sake of his love, even if he knows through painful experience how objectively evil vampires are.

Jack's love meanwhile is all objective. Even though he didn't fully understand what a vampire was, he began to lose his love for Lucy as soon as he saw her acting in that way. In fact every time she was acting out of character to be more vampiric before her death, he seemed to notice and be a little put off by it, even though he didn't really seem to realize so much at the time. He outright says this quote when he is watching vampire!Lucy and realizing that he doesn't feel as horrible about mutilating the body of the woman he loved as he would have expected. When he learns Lucy has become a monster, he begins to feel repulsed by her - a process completed when he sees her up close and outright says his love for her is gone: "At that moment the remnant of my love passed into hate and loathing; had she then to be killed, I could have done it with savage delight." His determination to destroy the Thing she now is completely separates her in his mind from her living self. His love gives way to the objective facts. He will help to kill her, and gladly, because what she has become disgusts him... because what she has become is objectively evil.

Obviously, their experiences are different, and perhaps it's not quite such a true binary. Mina's gradual transformation, combined with Jonathan's pre-existing knowledge, is quite different from Jack's abrupt introduction to Lucy's vastly changed self and to the idea of the supernatural at all. But for the purposes of examining this quote, I think it works quite well to set them up at opposite ends of that scale.

.

It's also kind of curious because it calls back to another great line of Seward's: "(Mem., under what circumstances would I not avoid the pit of hell?)" The context of that line is Seward struggling to resist his dark impulses with regards to his treatment of Renfield. And he says this after having noticed himself actively doing something he says he'd normally avoid like the pit of hell, so that means he was approaching it until he caught himself. This is a struggle he repeatedly faces with Renfield, finding himself longing for a cause that he would consider it worthwhile abandoning his morals for, so that he could just give in to these urges.

But while Jack Seward is the person most drawn to the darkness, as we get introduced to the vampires are representatives of the ultimate darkness he backs firmly away. It's only in isolation that he feels so attracted to amoral experimentation; when together with his friends he pulls himself back to be more firmly opposed. His treatment of Renfield is a mess the entire time, don't get me wrong. He never really does right by him. But he doesn't seem to feel that same urge to push him in such a cruel way merely for his own interest/satisfaction. It becomes in the service of a greater goal, the objectively good idea of fighting Dracula. (Again, not saying his methods are good, but his motivation shifts.) He's always been conscious of an idea of what is right to do and he actively tries to follow that, with much greater success when not left to his own devices.

Meanwhile Jonathan has never felt such an intense draw to the darkness. He survived months alone surrounded by evil influences, and it only increased his determination to remain himself/human. He hates the vampires and he feels no true allure to the idea of being like them (outside the allure everyone feels when being hypnotized by them, etc.). He wanted nothing more than a normal happy life, he never longed for a cause that would be worth throwing his morals away. And yet, when Mina begins to turn we see Jonathan decide that this is the circumstance under which he will not avoid the pit of hell. This is the cause he can dedicate himself to as fully as any madman. Jonathan never felt the need to philosophize about trying to avoid such things before he was exposed to them by others, because he has no inherent urge to seek them out. But he also lacks that restrictive hold when a reason does come along.

(To visualize: if there's a pit, then Jack is the person who keeps wandering closer, desperately wanting to lean over the edge and see what's inside. Knowing this about himself, he's tied a rope around his waist to ensure he doesn't slip too far. Jonathan never even went near until he abruptly decides to sprint up and swan-dive straight into it when he thinks Mina's fallen in.)

[littlesparklight]

What are the specific sources that say Helen went willingly with Paris? Was discussing with a friend but all I could remember was Sappho fragment 16? Ty!!

Let me start with a quote from the preface to Ruby Blondell's Helen of Troy: Beauty, Myth, Devastation:

"Though her [Helen's] departure is typically referred to as an "abduction", none of our sources claims that Paris took Helen by force against her will. Her complicity is essential to her story."

I could, in short, give you almost any and all sources possible, anon! Even the late sources like Dictys and Dares include mutual attraction and desire, even when Helen is, actually forcibly taken. And sure, some might protest about Aphrodite's (implied, usually) forcible meddling in Helen's psychology, but that is never what we really see and that is, secondly, not really how personal responsibility, even in the face of potential/actual divine interference, works. (In that case you'd have to absolve Zeus of a lot of his escapades.)

Anyway, I'll try to give you a selection, vaguely arranged in chronological order.

The Iliad - I could pick several different lines from here, and they'd all be from Helen herself. Sure, if one's interpretation is that she is not honest about what she's saying, you might not agree, but I'm going to insist on allowing Helen the agency she is claiming for herself. So, here, from Helen's conversation with Priam in Book 3:

"Honored are you to me, dear father in law, and revered, and would that evil death had pleased me at that time when I followed your son here, abandoning [...]" (trans. Caroline Alexander)

Elsewhere Helen uses "I went". But for this the pertinent thing is that "had pleased me" because the clear implication is that what pleased her back then was Paris, not death.

The Kypria; fragmentary, here's a quote from Proclus' summary: "Aphrodite brings Helen and Alexandros together. After their intercourse, they load up a great many valuables and sail away by night."

That "brings [them] together" isn't a language of force in the terminology used, and it's clearly both Helen and Paris who takes the valuables, not Paris alone. In fact, lets compare a directly comparable sentence from the (much) later Bibliotheke, Epitome 3.3: "Alexander persuaded Helen to go off with him. And she abandoned Hermione, then nine years old, and putting most of the property on board, she set sail with him by night."

'Persuasion', 'she abandoned', '[she] put most of the property on board', 'she set sail'. You see the point here. Helen is not baggage that Paris has picked up like an inanimate object and left with, no matter what its will. She is doing things.

You already mentioned Sappho 16 yourself, so let's turn to her contemporary Alkaios, fr. 283 (taking the translation of the quote of this from Blondell's book): "... and [Eros?] excited in her breast, the heart of Argive Helen; and driven mad by the Trojan man, the host-deceiver, she followed him over the sea in his ship."

The rest basically reiterates these opening lines, and you can see some of the similarity to Sappho 16, but Alkaios is a lot more condemnatory. Of Helen and Paris both.

Euripides next. Iphigenia in Aulis: "[...]and he, finding Menelaus gone from home, carried Helen off, in mutual desire, to his steading on Ida." (Agamemnon speaking.) and "[...]that Hellas might exact vengeance on the one who had fled her home to wed a foreigner." (The chorus speaking.) Trojan Women: "Their captain too, whom men call wise, has lost for what he hated most what most he prized, yielding to his brother for a woman's sake—and she was willing and not taken by force—the joy he had of his own children in his home." (Kassandra speaking.) I'm not going to quote all of Hecuba's speech in the agon against Helen, but her whole argument is that Helen went willingly... and some of Helen's own arguments are less to deny this idea of mutual desire/having left willingly and more to say Aphrodite is impossible to resist (but then we have to absolve Zeus, for Helen uses his vulnerability to Aphrodite as her thrust for as to why she should be excused).

Herodotus in his Histories is another that speak of abduction out of one side of the mouth and implies something far more willingly/mutual with the other (from 2.115):

"gave wings to and were gone with her"; the phrase really is that, quite literally, and I haven't been able to find anything that actually discusses this. (Another translations goes with "did stir her to desire" which, while that isn't what the text literally says, does, like, get the idea of something mutual happening/the usual focus on Helen's desire for Paris across to us better.)

And for something a little later, Gorgias' Encomium of Helen: like Blondell points out in her book, Gorgias' suggestion of actual force/violence as a potential factor in Helen leaving Sparta is quite singular. (In fact, all of his arguments turns into force/violence against Helen and make her basically an object who doesn't so much have no agency as no will or personhood that might react independently at all.)

And Ovid's Heroides certainly has Helen inviting Paris' attentions, even if she does so in a circuitous manner, circling up on saying "yes, come here, now that Menelaos has left".

Anyway, I could probably have gone on, but there's a couple sources, at least!

And I'd like to point out that whether one wants to insist that Aphrodite's potential direct influence means any "willingness" of Helen's is meaningless or not, there's a whole galaxy between "Helen went off with literally no thought to what this would cause or to her daughter and Menelaos and her family, and didn't care about the consequences/intentionally meant to cause all this destruction to both sides" and "she cares about this, and is/will be conflicted over it, yet is also attracted to and leaves with Paris".

Like, just because she wasn't violently kidnapped against her will, and was/is actually attracted to Paris (which she is still in the Iliad! That is part of the point of her confrontation with Aphrodite!) and so on, doesn't mean there aren't a lot of nuances (as the Iliad itself shows) that can be put into Helen being attracted to Paris and leaving willingly in some manner.

[gayeilgeoir]

I’m not going to lie and say The Man by Taylor Swift is exactly the pinnacle of feminism, but it is a really interesting perspective to touch on.

In the song, Taylor talks not of what she would do as a man, but what the actions she does as a woman would be viewed as if they were preformed by a man.

“I would be complex, I would be cool”

Taylor is often portrayed by misogynists as a ditsy blonde obsessed with men, because she writes about being in love, and talks about her feelings being as important as her boyfriends.

“They’d say I played the field before I found someone to commit to, and that would be okay for me to do, every conquest I had made would make me more of a boss to you”

Taylor talks about past criticism for simply just engaging in relationships with men. She is criticised for being in too many relationships despite her currently relationship at the time of writing having went on for 3 years and lasting another 3. She talks about “conquests” a really interesting word for her to use. She never talks of the men she dates as if they’re “prizes” she talks of them in a way that humanises them. Here she parodies societal views on heterosexual relationships. She is being seen as a man who has won a woman, while the woman is degraded by being with the man, she looses worth

“I’m so sick of running as fast as I can….because if I was a man, than I’d be the man”

Taylor talks of putting in far more effort then men beside her to get to the same places. Her success is already insane, but she would be far more famous as a man. She talks of how her achievements are undermined, or miscredited. She is expected to be in debt to a man.

“What I was wearing, if I was rude, could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves?”

Now, the ? at the end of this changes the meaning entirely. Otherwise, it would be a doubtless definite, she wouldn’t be judged for her actions (or the actions of others, if what I was wearing refers to her previous sexual assault case in the rep era) but this suggests Taylor almost doesn’t believe this a possibility. She is shocked at the idea of being allowed to be “rude” (which for famous women is just standing up for yourself) and being humanised and your actions being respected. She is shocked at the privilege of men

“I’d be just like Leo”

Leonardo Di Caprio, is a man who dates a boatload of under 25 women and treats them horrifically. At this time, Taylor being 30 years old and having 9 previous boyfriends, all over age, and receiving so much criticism. Taylor talks of how dating for a woman is seen as a necessity, but you will always be judged for it. She compares her life to Di Caprio, not in a hateful way, but saying she is being judged for something so idiotic.

“And it’s all good if you’re bad, and it’s okay if you’re mad”

Taylor talks of not being allowed to properly feel emotion. Referring back to her quote “a man is allowed to react, a woman can only overreact” she talks of how, likely in the Reputation Era, every little thing she did was a reason for people to hate her. Everything was blown up tenfold. She was hated for things she would be praised for as a man.

“So it’s okay that im mad”

Taylor has maintained a highly apologetic tone throughout the song, but at the end, she chooses to be more direct. She has avoided confrontation to then say, I am allowed to be this way, and it is not for you to judge. She stops stepping around the fact and fully head on addresses it.

[andreal831]

To back up your opinion on Klaroline, I’ve noticed that most of the time, whenever a shipper talks about them, they say things like, “Klaus always put her first,” “Klaus would’ve given her the world,” “Klaus was willing to wait for her,” Klaus this, Klaus that, but never anything about Caroline or her feelings. And even if those things were true, it doesn’t mean Caroline has to give him a chance.

It just comes off as fans only want them together because it would make Klaus happy. And it’s not just them, a lot of the fans seem to cater the ships around the men and what they want/their feelings and not really caring about the women and their wants and feelings. (E.g. Delena, Stelena, etc)

Sorry, I didn’t mean to use this as a rant, lol, but this is just one of the many things that annoys me about the fandom.

You know you are always welcome to rant here. That's half of what I do. But I do really agree. So much of the conversations surrounding ships revolve around the men in them and what the ships do for them.

It's a big reason I hated Klaroline. I hated how the writers allowed the fans to dictate the writing. They were willing to destroy Caroline's character to prop Klaus up. All of their interactions in TO went directly against the Caroline they established in TVD. They did the same thing with Cami after she died, only mentioning her to tell Klaus what a "good guy" he was as he literally murdered people. How does Hope only know about Cami as Klaus' therapist when everyone in that town loved her?

I also have to comment on your quotes about Klaroline because I hear them everywhere and I just have to laugh. He never once put her first. He wouldn't even not stalk her boyfriend for Caroline. And he most certainly didn't wait for her. He was sleeping with Hayley while they were still in the same town. He was terrible to her and actively abused her. Why do people want her with that?

I also hate when people in the fandom get mad at characters for not giving their abusers a chance. I see this with Caroline a lot. People get mad at her anger against Klaus and Damon. Especially with Klaus, people just want her to give him a chance because he likes her, ignoring the pain he caused her. We see that with Delena. People got so angry at Elena in the early seasons for not giving Damon a chance when he was actively pursuing his brother's girlfriend and SAing her.

Like you said, we see it with Delena/Stelena as well. I'm sorry, but the writers completely rewrote Elena to make her fit with Damon and allow him to continue being him without changing at all. But the fans will also ignore how Stefan caused a lot of the upheaval in Elena's life.

I even ranted about it on tik tok like a year ago, how some Elijah stans will hate on Hayley for not being more supportive of him at certain times but completely ignore the trauma she is going through. Same with Jayley stans who get mad at her for having complex emotions and "leading him on" when she was always honest with him and going through more trauma than any person should. To some people, the men are the only ones that are allowed to have complex emotions.

Kolvina are only together very briefly and he lies to her, manipulates her, chooses his family over her, and kills her. Davina was going through it because of Kol but people love that he was willing to "change" for her. She made him a better person.

I could seriously do this with every ship in this show because they all center around the men and what the women could do for them. I do think part of this is that "self-insert" idea that the writers created the show so teenage girls could insert themselves in every character. It didn't matter their personality or interests because they wanted people to see themselves in the characters and see themselves with the men.

Sorry, now I've turned my answer into a rant.

Also, so people don't get mad at me: Nowhere in this am I saying you can't like these ships. Like whoever you want. These are issues I, and others in the fandom, have we these ships and the writing of the show.

But thank you for the ask and backing up my opinion! Always appreciated <3

[velvetvexations]

I'm putting these asks in as text because my inbox is so packed rn lol. Love you Velvet Nation!

i swear to god cisfeminist spaces are the worst. a lesbian was asking why straight people have such bad sex (for the woman in the relationship, regarding the orgasm gap) and everyone jumped onto how testosterone is the reason for it (as in testosterone makes you want to orgasm in 3 minutes with no regard for extending sex outside of wanting to orgasm), even a trans woman saying the sex is so much better with oestrogen in her system. and me and a few other transmascs pointed out to this trans woman that it was probably because she was running on the wrong hormones, and any of us transmascs that dared to say we have extremely fulfilling sex that is infinitely better than the sex we had before we started T was absolutely shat on and berated for “speaking over women” even though we were just sharing our experiences, it’s just that those opinions went against the bioessentialism held deeply by the community

Yo, that's fucked? What the hell? Do people seriously earnestly not get how they come off here?

aside from OOP ignoring all of the black transmascs and other transmascs of colour in the discussion around transandrophobia (including a trans man of colour coining the term), i wonder if they believe we’re making up black transmascs because the transradfems i’ve seen so far have been overwhelmingly white. maybe because radfeminism is inherently racist or something… and their bible is written by a middle-class white woman with no perspective on transmisogynoir and this reflects upon a lot of the discussions of transmisogyny to this day…

Radical feminism is inherently Karenesque. They cross the street when they see the PoC transmascs they spend every waking hour slagging off approach on the sidewalk.

I just really want to chill and watch anime together with you some time, your taste is based as fuck

It sure is!

most bizarre thing i have seen today: a transradfem who clearly believes 100% closeted and non-passing transmascs have privilege over cis women but dancing around actually saying it because they know deep down it might get them backlash from the less radical transradfems

I don't even think it would.

I am still very "read another fucking author" at all the transfeminists who only ever quote Julia Serrano, but finding out she *also* hates the terms TMA/TME made my fucking week. Like, the transradfems' hero doesn't even agree with them!

A lot of them didn't even read Whipping Girl.

Can confirm male/female socialization is not actually a consistent thing because I was literally too autistic to internalize any gender roles, at least in relation to myself. Just. Never learned! Like water off a ducks back

High five!

Really if you take a character who presents as one gender and transition them some trans person is going to be mad about it cause they saw themselves in the original conception of the character. It's inevitable.

Yeah, that is the unfortunate truth of the matter.

That second paragraph is literally what terfs say about trans women. Turning that on trans men doesn't make you any more feminist it just makes you transphobic. (This is directed at the op of that post not you velvet)

Radical feminism is so fucking easy to recognize no matter how repackaged it is.

Racist feminism anon here: see this is the reason I feel like shit for having any critiques of feminism whatsoever. Like hashtag Not All Women obviously but literally these specific women aren't listening to marginalized men. We're not talking about whatever cis white able-bodied Elon Musk fan they think stands in for "men" in this situation. They put "valid concerns" in scare asterisks as though the very idea we have any is laughable. And no actually racism is not a "secondary manifestation" of misogyny and while transphobia stems from misogyny it shouldn't be treated as secondary for any trans person. How the fuck are we supposed to point out that white woman separatism leaves behind men who actually do suffer under patriarchy when it gets telephoned into "you stupid fucking bitch shut up I'll fucking kill you"

The point is making it so you can't.

BTW, I didn't get to edit it into the post before they blocked me, but they were reblogging Actual Nazi shit, like, the OP of the post was progressive but our dumbass here didn't notice that "if there was no hope their propaganda would be unnecessary" is (a) a popular Nazi thing and (b) added to the post by a literal Nazi.

It never does, they're fully removed from this plane of existence.

Note: At this point I kinna forgot I wasn't screenshotting these

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

I can't believe someone who's BFFs with a tankie is a hypocrite.

You're the second person to apologize for using that format and it always makes me think of the clown-names drama every time.

[genderkoolaid]

hey! if you have the spoons, would you happen to have any posts/anecdotes refuting this thread? https://www.tumblr.com/neondyke/719263498717233152/nonhoration?source=share

so. one of my big problems with how we talk about TERFs is the sort of conspiratorial energy some people have towards them- not in that TERFs don't lie about their beliefs, but the idea that all radical feminists are part of this huge conspiracy where none of them actually believe any of what they say. The idea that no TERF actually, genuinely cares about women, or gender non-conforming people- or that none of them hate men.

Just because TERFism is misogynistic, harmful to GNC people, and often allies with conservative men, does not mean every TERF hates other women, GNC people, and likes men. Its vital to be critical of what TERFs say vs what their actions say- but we do ourselves and them a disservice by shoving our fingers in our ears and essentially saying that no TERF can be genuine, and I actually know what they really believe in their hearts. This is especially important when you aren't interacting with high-level TERFs (especially those making bank off public appearances & books & shit), but like. regular smegular everyday women who got radicalized, or people who are on the verge of being radicalized and are put-off by people who seem to be incapable of seeing TERFs as having genuine beliefs.

I say that all because the idea that TERFs aren't misandrists, that they don't really hate men, is just straight-up ridiculous. It assumes that radical feminism was born exclusively as a reaction to trans women, that none of its theorists or activists were genuinely trying to apply Marxist analysis to gender/sex dynamics and create a better world for women. Which ignores other parts of radical feminism, like their anti-sex work rhetoric/whorephobia. (If you have access to JSTOR, I recommend reading "Radical Feminism and Feminist Radicalism" by Ellen Willis, a former radfem; it dives into the problems with 60s radical feminism from an inside perspective).

I absolutely think TERF hatred for trans women is not exclusively a result of their misandry. This is because all transphobia is systematic, and everyone born and raised in transphobic society has transphobia woven into their thinking. So if you are a cis woman, probably one who has had traumatic experiences with misogyny coming from cis men- probably one with some interest in leftism, who is annoyed by liberal #girlboss feminism which feels lackluster, who is envious of the subversive, direct-action, "tear the system down" feminism of the past- and you have an unexamined, ingrained bias against trans people, well. TERFism will provide explanation and affirmation for your trauma and the promise of the radical feminist action of your dreams to allow you to lash out at your oppressors with the logic of the guillotine. Your unexamined bias against trans women will mean you don't see their transmisogyny as unreasonable, and even if you never really thought about trans women before, its gonna be real easy for you to accept them as a threat to Real Women.

But to assume that every time a TERF says "men" or "male," she means "trans woman," is just ignorant. TERFs are surrounded by cis men, because they live in the same society as us. They see cis men acting misogynistic, many of them have been personally hurt by cis men, they very much mean "cis men" when they say things like "all men should be castrated" or "all male babies should be aborted"- how exactly can you talk about males as a sex and never refer to cis men? When they talk about how using dildos or any sort of penetrative sex is patriarchal and Bad, that's not because they hate trans women, its because they see anything that could be associated with maleness as bad.

Here's a quote from Sylvia Riveria's very important work "Queens in Exile, The Forgotten Ones":

"Oh, yeah, we mixed with lesbians. We always got along back then. All the division between lesbian women and queens came after 1974 when Jean O'Leary and the radical lesbians came up. The radicals did not accept us or masculine-looking women who dressed like men. And those lesbian women might not even have been trans."

TERF hatred for transmasculinity goes back far before ROGD and the idea of transmasculinity as a social disease affecting "innocent young girls." Here's a quote from Leslie Feinberg's Transgender Warriors:

"A view that the primary division of society is between women and men leads some women to fear that transsexual women are men in sheep's clothing coming across their border, or that female-to-male transsexuals are going over to the enemy, or that I look the same as the enemy."

If TERFs have no real hatred for men or masculinity, why did/do they attack butches & transmascs? Why, before ROGD was the trendy way to attack transmasculinity, did they specifically attack us for being too masculine and therefore imitating the oppressor? The idea that trans women are the only ones blamed by TERFs for ROGD is also false- adult trans men, especially those with any public influence, are frequently blamed for "preying" on young "girls." (Also, fun fact: that last quoted paragraph ends with: "Trans people of all sexes and genders are not oppressors: they, like women, rank among the oppressed.")

Lastly, I feel like we- all trans people- have an issue of trying to match our genders & the way our genders do impact how we are treated, with the way our sexual/gendered misgendering also impacts how we are treated. For example, I am often frustrated by trans men who are resistant to talking about how trans men face misogyny because "it feels like misgendering." I don't think we can really deal with transphobia unless we cope with the fact that we are trans people- we are socially placed between genders and punished for that, and that means that we will be attacked because of our relationship to our gender assigned at birth (although not exclusively). See this post for more of my thoughts on that.

Obligatory "please don't harass any of the people in the screenshot above, just block them & move on" notice

[glasskey]

I’m Gonna Cut Your F#cking Heart Out - The June Osborne Hit List Pt 1.

You guessed it, time for our girl to finally get her own playlist. She’s been busy to say the least, so there’s certainly surplus to requirement here. Let’s start with some of her most memorable hits from The Handmaid’s Tale season 1.

Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum (Don’t let the bastards grind you down)

The infamous words of defiance and hope scrawled on the inside of June’s wardrobe from the previous Handmaid, who tragically, ultimately, let the bastards (Fred) grind her down. It was fitting that at the beginning of season 1, June had absolutely no idea what these words meant, but by the end of S2 she’d plastered them across the wall of her prison in foot high letters. Suitably she found this secret call to freedom destroyed upon her unceremonious return at the beginning of S2. We watched as Aunt Lydia and Serena proceeded to join forces to crush her spirit, leaving June catatonic and bleeding in the garden bed. It seemed poetic that June had to ask Fred their meaning, for their very essence incited rebellion and he was after all, her jailer. His response that it was a joke, indicated that the very concept of kicking against the system was laughable. It was a message contained in one of Fred’s boyhood school books, signifying a long since dead rebellious youth. Here in Gilead these words belong to June and she treats them like a prayer for strength against the resident “bastard” Fred, and his unending onslaught of rape and obsessive creepiness. The moment Fred is confronted by the words on June’s bedroom wall as he is held at gun point by Nick, is juxtaposed with his demise in that dark forest at the hands of Nick and June. The phrase signed off across his hung lifeless body marking June and Fred’s separation and the end of a sinister chapter. In her testimony June had asked for justice for the nameless, voiceless many and here it was at last, for the previous anonymous Handmaid who had hung herself in despair in the Waterford's attic.

Standing there in her room staring at those words, Fred of all people should have understood their subtext, but consumed with obsession and arrogance, he chose to ignore them. How was he to know they weren’t just a good old fashioned fuck you from Osborne, but also a prophetic warning.

What else is there to live for?

As much as I hated Fred, he did get some of the best lines and this one scene has three of his greats. This quote from Fred and the philosophical debate he has with June is one of my favorite Osborne moments. It encapsulates the difference in nature between their respective two worlds. Fred’s musings about life pre Gilead come loaded with allusions to men and women’s displacement from their traditional roles. Fred, and later Lawrence, argue that as these lines blurred and women attempted to exceed their “biological destinies”, men felt they lost their purpose and society crumbled. Fred believes that the sole purpose of humanity is to breed and perpetuate the human race, anything else such as love, is nothing more than sentimental garbage invented to facilitate this process. “Now you’re free to fulfil your biological destinies….what else is there to live for?” he asks “Love” June replies almost astonished at his ignorance. To her the answer is so self-evident and obvious; because unlike Fred she’s actually experienced it, and isn’t the emotional equivalent of a cavernous black hole. He scoffs dismissing it as lust, and she unfortunately overestimates the length of the leash Fred has her on. She drops the careless quip; “Maybe for you, but not for me”, questioning both his emotional depth and the authenticity of his feelings for Serena. He is less than amused. He proceeds to give her a not so subtle warning by telling her exactly what they did to Emily. It’s clear that in this world women’s needs or pleasure are not only irrelevant, but a hindrance to the cause.

Fred then drops what is possibly my favorite line for this entire series; “Every love story is a tragedy if you wait long enough”, it speaks volumes about the deterioration of his and Serena’s relationship. Once loving and affectionate it has become bitter and resentful within the bounds of Gilead, for in Gilead, anything beautiful decays. These words are both heartbreaking and loaded with foreboding, and it’s poetic that upon leaving his study she runs straight into Nick. The similarities and differences between Fred and Serena’s and Nick and June’s relationship are played out time after time throughout the seasons. This moment in particular leaves you wondering, will the other shoe indeed drop? Or are Fred and Serena actually the antithesis of what Nick and June will eventually become? Fred’s a cynic, he’s a monster but he can also recognize that Gilead comes at a personal cost to June and here we see the closest thing to an apology or at the very least an acknowledgment from Fred: “Better never means better for everyone. It always means worse for some.” It is notable that June, quotes this back to Nick in season 2, reluctant to abandon both he and Hannah in a place where love is not a purpose but merely a device.

What are you gonna trade us for? Fucking chocolate?

Here June gets her first lesson in just how much of a commodity women have become, on a global scale, even to other women. Alma lets her know from the very beginning the seedy details of the deals that are actually being made, and it sure as fuck isn’t for oranges. June unfortunately thinks that the Ambassador has some sort of interest in June’s imprisonment and if she only knew the appalling conditions June was being kept in she would undoubtedly do something about it. She’s wrong. When they first met she dutifully kept her trap shut, but then Serena had to go and parade all those children around in front of her. The spoils of Gilead and the consequence of the Handmaids enslavement. When the Ambassador turns up toting a tin of choccy to thank June for her candor about life in Gilead she lets her know exactly what being a Handmaid is all about, complete with the eye gouging and cattle prods. Contrary to belief she hasn’t sacrificed herself to the glory of Gilead; she was kidnapped, enslaved and her own child stolen. The Ambassador is of course horrified but willing to do exactly jack shit about it lest it endanger her trade deal for a shipment of Handmaids.

June’s suitably stunned and angry; she’s demanding some answers. Turns out the Ambassadors country desperately needs repopulating; although I was challenged to see what shipping over some fresh wombs would do without the whole Gilead old timey scrub down to go along with it, as this actually seemed to be the secret sauce. June accuses the Ambassador of trading the Handmaids for chocolate, it’s a stab at her moral fiber; chocolate serves no purpose but pleasure, it’s a trivial luxury, and as such she must view these women as mere chattels to trade them for it. If these people want to start trading red tags, June will make sure they see exactly what it costs them personally, and it’s a lot more than oranges and chocolate.

I’m sorry Aunt Lydia

Here we see the birth of Mayday or rather June’s true baptism as its unofficial leader. When faced with the prospect of stoning Janine to death, June chose instead to give Aunt Lydia the equivalent of the middle finger in front of her peers, complete with a smug “I’m sorry Aunt Lydia.” Much to Aunt Lydia’s horror her buddies all followed suit…..it was enough to make a cuddly old fascists blood boil. As the Handmaids walked in lockstep back to their respective homes, there was an undeniable new confident swagger to them. Nevermind, Gilead will shortly torture and terrify that out of them, but the damage is done, the rebellious rot has now set in for good.

Janine was the best behaved one out of the bunch and even she ended up a stone’s throw away from a salvaging; it could have been any one of them and they all knew it. In your run of the mill dictatorship, unquestioning loyalty is bred through fear and the reward of remaining alive. However, Gilead seemed to have made the fatal mistake of punishing it's innocent, leaving the Handmaids to reach the logical conclusion that they were fucked either way. Regimes such as these are ripe for rebellion. Gilead had unintentionally turned their handmaids attire from a ritualistic binding into a rebels uniform in one fell swoop, and unfortunately no amount of stylistic alterations were going to change it back now. This was the moment that the Handmaids realized that they had nothing to lose, and there’s nothing more dangerous than solidarity amongst those who are willing to sacrifice themselves for a cause.

While we all wait faithfully for S6, I'll be back with more playlists. See you then.

[roseworth]

What drives me nuts about this idea that we just need to be nice and understanding to sexist men and coddle men's feelings so they don't become violent misogynists is when they use the argument that "men are just reacting to feeling unappreciated and feeling lonely and hated" like damn women have never experienced anything like that ever in human history? Have feminists not been reacting to centuries of gendered oppression and disrespect? Why are men the only ones allowed to react, and to much less I might add. Even in "woke" spaces a lot of people have this idea that women as a group just SHOULD tolerate more disrespect. Women can handle it, because to a degree they deserve it. But God forbid anyone ever makes a man feel lesser. Basically: "She was asking for it."

YES!!!!! THIS!!!!!! fuck

it’s ridiculous to act like any of the “alienation” that men face is anywhere near the oppression women have faced for centuries. loneliness and self-hate are not male-exclusive feelings, but men are a lot more likely to become nazis for it.the whole “male loneliness epidemic” comes from men blaming women for how they feel, and how women are bitches for making them feel that way. then when women don’t care they get blamed for not being empathetic and talking to them anyway. not to mention that they’re convinced that male loneliness is a male-exclusive feeling just because they don’t actually see women as complex humans with emotions so they don’t understand that women also feel lonely but manage to feel it without blaming an entire gender

i saw a quote once that basically said “women who say they hate men will avoid them. men who say they hate women will kill them.” and!! yeah!!! acting like misogyny and misandry are comparable issues is ridiculous. and yet somehow people try to claim there’s a “sexism” problem in feminism because some feminists go “too far” when they say they hate men. because obviously women should be welcoming men into their spaces with open arms and never challenge them, because if a woman points out that the patriarchy benefits men they’ll get upset then they’ll have no choice but to become nazis

[menlove]

yknow your fantastic post about closeted paul and how he's (probably) come to accept his queerness/bisexuality, but simply keeps it private for multiple reasons? what would you say was john's case?

(i personally believe he was a closeted gay man but idk how to Phrase Things. Sigh.)

oh i 10000000% believe john was a gay man with a lot of Problems. like. i know, i know, in later life he talked about liking men & women & we have that hysterical "john lennon's bisexual guide to gardening" quote but likeeeeeeeeee.... idk. here's my Speculations under the cut

several things, to me. yes, he fucked a lot of women (a lot). but of the 4 of them, during the beatles years he really didn't.... have any steady girlfriends. it's not like he was the only married one and it's not like he had any hangups about cheating, so it's really not that. the ONLY rumor there is was one that he "dated" an older woman (blanking on her name rn) and even thennnn those rumors were, afaik, just based on the fact that he was kind of sad when she died & that he viewed her as a mother figure. which is... i mean that's not convincing like at all to me.

the Three Biggest Relationships in his life w women were cynthia, yoko, and may pang. the rest were women he fucked around with as one night stands. again, as far as i'm aware. and cynthia..... well it's not really hard to see that he very much (unfortunately) did not give that much of a fuck about her. it's the most classic case of comphet i've ever seen. he dated her bc he was supposed to & then he married her bc she got pregnant and he was supposed to.

and yoko....... lord. i won't deny that he loved her. but it was, from literally everything we've seen, a very obsessive love that had less to do w their personal chemistry and more to do with Circumstances. and even with her, there's sooo many quotes of him talking about how he liked her bc she looked like a man, or looked like him in drag, or acted like a bloke/best mate. that's. not to doubt him but that's just not something someone into women says lmfao.

and that's not to mention the whole debacle w probable conversion therapy. and like. this is no hate to yoko & again i believe she was a flawed individual just like any of them were & we have truly got to embrace her morally gray status just like any man bc we can't demonize OR idealize women when women are Literally Just People. but from some of her quotes & outside sources she was very uncomfortable w the idea of his queerness. and hell, there's the "you think of rock hudson when we do it" line, which is both honestly pretty fucking homophobic but also very indicative of where john was, sexuality wise

and as for may, that whole situation was honestly so fucked up and tragic for Both of them that getting into it would take a novel but like. that wasn't exactly his first choice in partner

and in his quotes about Being Into Men, what he says is basically that with women he is fine fucking without an emotional connection but w men he needs that emotional connection & he hasn't found that with a man. which i think is him bullshitting, btw, but the core of it there that he can't fuck a man without emotions is... well that's really telling. it seems like sex with women to him is just sex, whereas sex with men to him is a deep, emotional thing. and that's, again, just not really something someone into women would be saying with their chest

i'm pretty sure he Also has a quote about never having found a woman attractive which is just telling all on its own

and as for Being Into Men...... well he talked about it himself. but also, there's at LEAST stuart, paul, and brian that would go right at the top of the list for me of men he had an incredibly close & intimate relationship with, one-sided or not. i don't think it's incidental that he referred to paul constantly as his other partner in life, his other marriage, etc while like. literally barely ever mentioning cynthia. like it's super telling, the johnandpaul of it aside, that he talks more about his Boy Best Friend when talking about past marriages than his literal wife lmfao

i think he had a LOT of internalized homophobia & anger with himself over it ("scared of his inner fag" as he said). bc of that, i don't think he let himself get as close to the men he was probably in love with as he wanted to be, or even let himself acknowledge just how emotionally attached he was to them. by the end of his life, i think he WAS coming to terms with liking men, at least. was he coming to terms with Not liking women? i don't know. probably not, although i know his and yoko's marriage was in a rough place by the end of his life so who knows really.

i would hope that if he'd lived that by now he would've found peace w his sexuality, bi or gay, but that's not the world we got unfortunately

[miriam-heddy]

FFS, People. Achilles himself didn’t get this much grief.

Now me? I’m the first to say I hate the males/females thing. And I do see it as a potential red flag. But I also know that commonplace in some communities. And it means different things to different people.

Sapphire, the host/interviewer of Achilles Heel had an agenda behind her questions, and a clear audience in mind in asking them. (“Welcome to The Achilles HEEL, a podcast meant to open up the eyes of modernized women and a selfish mentality.”) She steered the interview. Hard. That’s not very clear from people’s summaries.

Some seem confused by “thorn in your flesh.” It’s true that most people now say, “thorn in my side.” Both are correct and reference different New Testament quotes. I’m Jewish and know how to Google. And no, it’s not a cult. FFS, that’s offensive and ignorant.

Civilizations built on a man’s love? A common idea, alongside civilizations torn apart by a man’s love. See: Helen of Troy.

Yes, Ryan talks about peace in the home. One might speculate that there was agita in his house prior to the divorce. Ryan also talks several times about men and women fixing themselves and not depending on the other to do that. That’s therapy talk. Fighting with kids in the house isn’t good. Note: He doesn’t say, “bring me my slippers and pipe.” Though if you read the crit from Tommy fans, you might think so.

He’s talking about men & women when they’re at home. Not advocating women not working. He tells Sapphire what his ex does and expresses admiration for her. He works alongside and for successful women.

There’s no surprise he’s been in therapy. Again, fuck off with that “idk if it worked.”

This should go without saying, but Ryan is not responsible for Sapphire’s prejudices.

He notes that men try to fix things. I’d say men are socialized to try to fix things. Men are rewarded for fixing things, not for listening. Kudos to Ryan for bucking that in favor of listening. And kudos to him for not trying to speak for or about all women.

I could go on. But I’m disgusted by the self-serving, ass-kissing Tevan attacks on Ryan.

ETA: You can see the whole interview here. I recommend turning on captions. And take note of how Sapphire “pick me” steers things with “men should/women should) and how Ryan responds mostly with “I…” statements. Oh, and there’s a long interview she did, which is kind of interesting.: [ https://youtu.be/SEEPLAbyRiQ?si=aa918G8-lAYd_o_y ]

ETA: On the use of “females” https://www.tumblr.com/miriam-heddy/770253708666830848/females-girls-ladies-chicks-and-women

ETA: https://youtu.be/i7Q8E_Cedx0?si=ZIq-tHcZ0g-wdvtr

[your-queer-dad]

Hi. I just wanted to say 2 things. Sorry about how long this post is - you don’t have to read it all if you don’t want to. At least I’ll have typed out what I’ve been keeping inside so long.

First, you’re a really good person. I’m sure you know that already, and have been told that already, but from a young person to you, thank you so much. You are such a blessing.

I want to preface the second thing by saying that I have no idea where to go for support. My parents are wonderful people, but I’m not ready to come out to them or anyone else because my overall community doesn’t feel safe.

I know that at least one of my uncles doesn’t support LGBT people. One of my former classmates didn’t put in a yearbook quote indicating she was gay because she was afraid of her parents seeing it - and we’re part of a similar community. I have reason to believe other people in our community, even family members, may feel similarly.

At my former high school, my classmates often said transphobic things (one of my friends even said that one day, when I was absent a student gave a presentation promoting debunked rapid onset gender dysphoria - although thankfully someone pushed back) and although I’m not trans, not only is that behavior crappy and must have made my trans classmates feel bad, but it indicated an environment that I didn’t feel safe in.

I want to be clear that my high school wasn’t an awful place - we had an LGBT club and an out teacher who wasn’t harassed by anyone, to my knowledge - but all those other elements, and the world outside my school, still existed. I didn’t know if it was safe to be out.

It’s also my fault I feel stuck, too. Everyone assumes I’m straight, and it just feels easier to go with the flow. To pretend that I’m definitely going to have a boyfriend. To pretend that I’m not a woman who loves women as well as men.

This anxiety is so stifling, but it feels terrifying to think about being out. Even typing these words makes my hands shake and palms sweat. I don’t want to live in a world where people debate whether I can marry, whether I can exist, whether I am human - I hate it. I hate this nervousness. I hate that now, even though I’m going to college, I may not have the courage to be myself on campus.

So, after all of that, I guess I just need to ask: is it possible to find support? How do you learn to love yourself? How do I find a community?

Sorry for the long post. Have a good day.

Hey kiddo! It's alright, I don't mind the long post and thank you so much for reaching out! Yes I think it's possible to find support and your community. I hate it too, that we have to fight so hard for something that's so such a basic human necessity like the right to be ourselves. But finding support is possible, it just isn't always in the way you expect. There's lgbtq people everywhere, who feel like you, and who wants support too. Sometimes it comes when you least expect it to. But you will always have your community online, and your international community here for you, even if you don't see us everyday, we're here (and we're queer!). Learning to accept and love yourself is the hardest and the most worthwhile journey you'll ever go on, and there isn't a rush to start it until you're ready.

- dad x

[unreal-unread]

Gone Girl – 5/5 ⭐

Boy meets girl. Girl disappears, assumed to have been murdered. Boy is the prime suspect, except: He didn’t do it. But someone clearly wants it to look like he did. So, where is his girl?

1/15/25

(Progress: 30%)

I fucking hate Nick Dunne. No buts. 

That man should kill himself never be any role model for anyone. 

I know this happens. I know people cheat. But, sue me, I don't care why he cheated, I don't care if he thought he was alone. Before this, I didn’t like him. But it was more about not caring about him, seeing his earlier depiction of his personality contrast so harshly with what a cheating asshat he seems to be. 

to quote a row of texts I sent to my friend earlier today when the memory of the new information in the book still stung and made my prefrontal cortex shrivel to half its size:

12:47 i wanna kill the protagonist of the book i’m reading

12:47 for real

12:47 i hate him

12:47 #NickDunneOnTheCross2025

Excuse my violent religious imagery, I really don't know why this passage about him cheating hit me so much. Even though I could puke and keel over at the thought of Nick cheating on Amy with a much younger woman (I don't know where all these detailed images come from), I have no idea why this plot point bothered me so insanely. You have no idea. Maybe it’s just been a long time since a book has managed to give me the emotional equivalent of a stabbing with a dull knife but still right in the heart, just weirdly twisting the thing inside my guts to do as much damage with it (imagery!! oh my god!!) but this? Am I afraid to end up like Amy or like the mistress? Both only loved to a limited capacity? By the same man who could not give less of a fuck about a woman if she isn’t his super cool dudette Bitchass Twin Sister? Am I mad? Can you really tell? Update later. Can’t right now. Need to figure out why men say they like feminine women but whine when they order an espresso martini and dont shotgun five bud lights stacked on top of each other. But if you have parents who name you Nick and Go, which sounds like a damn pickpocketing technique now that I think about it, I too would get my attention elsewhere or maybe open a bar with a name about as creative as the band “The The”. 

1/16/25

(Progress: 32%)

Never mind. I don't actually hate his sister because she called him out on his BS at the end of the chapter. She’s so real for that.

1/17/25

(Progress: 100%)

Okay. Fucking hell. What? 

Looking back on my remarks at about 30% I almost feel silly. I‘m assuming that this trajectory of emotions — confusion, anger, more anger, realization, anger-infused confusion — was exactly what Flynn wanted, and it almost feels disappointing that I fell right into the trap and followed that exact path. But: That also means I experienced this book how it was meant to be experienced! Even though by the end I wasn’t sure why all I’d ever hear about it had to do with the “Cool Girl Monologue”. I mean, her multiple page-ramble about chili-dog-overenthusiastic women was fun to read, but by far not the most important or most impressive of it all. (I did post an underlined passage of this part on my instagram story, the same way you’d tell people your favourite song from The Bends is Just, not because it actually is — it’s actually a close call between Planet Telex and Black Star — but because it’s more likely they know it and all you care about is conveying “Hey, I like this!” by letting them know you like listening to Thom Yorke whine while lying on the floor. No individual song, or, in this case, book passage differentiation needed. The difference isn’t as gaping as it is between people whose favourite Metallica song is The Call of Ktulu and Nothing Else Matters. End of rant. Closing the parentheses now.) 

Fun fact: The last half of this book had me in an insane chokehold. I came back home from the dentist, half of my mouth anesthetized and everything, an accidental devious smirk gracing my lips every time I try to smile, and I sat down in an armchair, started reading, and the next time I got up I had both finished the book and inadvertently waited out the anesthesia. Life hack time: if your mouth is numb but you're hungry and seriously debate eating a roll despite probably biting raw the entire inside of your cheek while doing it, just inhale 300 pages of an amazingly insane character and her asshat victim hubby. 

In the span of a month, Nick Dunne goes from “Where’s my pretty princess of a wife? Anyone seen her? Hey, this ottoman’s kinda heavy.” to “iwannakillmywifereallyreallyreallybadplzzz.”.

In the past month, I did interesting things such as:

A) Sleep.

B) Read.

C) Eat.

D) Go to class.

E) Run away and frame my husband as a murderer only to realize that, from my perspective, our fucked minds fit together like an insanely difficult jigsaw puzzle and I kill my ex instead and pretend he held me hostage and tortured me which he saw as an unconventional display of affection through his beast eyes.

The answer is: All of them except for E. (And A maybe, but it can all be accredited to this book.) Crazy, right? Okay, I’m gonna get my thoughts in order now.

The first hundred or so pages were good, but you could really feel that they were leading up to something truly fucked. And I had my suspicions about how fucked this was going to get, but I wasn’t even close. The constant switch between him detailing gruesome discoveries about her disappearance that somehow all led to him and her drawing this picture of fate bringing them together, everything being a perfect,  beautiful New York life really did it for me. Especially as her diary entries begin to bring along this acid aftertaste over time. There was a point at which I asked myself if he really didn't do it. Because how couldn’t he? She was Amazing Amy after all! 

The first point at which I raised my eyebrows concerningly high was when it was revealed that, yes, she did in fact come to the abandoned mall. But it wasn’t by force, it was to buy a gun. A damn gun of all things! The reaction of the guy who recognized her basically foreshadowed her “actual” personality. I could feel the weight of that “Oh shit, her?” through the pages when they showed him the picture. Other than that, nothing to report. Until we reach the 200-page mark, obviously. 

Andie. The perfect girl to blame everything on. The whole thing. The entire affair. All her doing as a twenty-something year old seductress. He just couldn’t resist. God, I want to shake her. On one hand, she’s a grown adult. She knew he was married, she knew his sister was literally down the hall when she tried to have sex with him because the disappearance of his wife doesn’t have anything to do with her because to Andie, Amy was always a distant character. Present enough to have questions asked about her but apparently not present enough to be seen as an actual obstacle when her husband was right there, being the poor, mistreated man he was, serving her drinks in the bar Amy’s parents’ exploitative business paid for. Andie is the manifestation of someone that the stereotypical wife-character would cry herself to sleep over. She’s younger, more attractive, probably even bakes for Nick. She craves attention in a way she could only ever really get in a real, official relationship with an available man, and still, she’s dumbing herself down to this. This belief only deepens when you think about how she’s sacrificing another woman’s happiness for her obsessive fling rooted in the small flicker of hope that he might one day leave his wife. Who would in turn take the bar, so that’s not happening, I guess. 

And yet, even after all that, if you told me you genuinely despised Andie, I’d think you haven’t actually read the book. It takes two to tango, in this case it’s a married man with a house and the wish to be a father someday and a college student who has nothing to lose in the love department. The playing field wasn’t exactly even. Like putting a cool sticker onto a surface it just won’t stick to. If you hadn’t tried putting it there, it would still be sticky enough to put somewhere else. But now that the protective paper’s off, you’re mad because you just wasted a sick sticker and also glad you did try to put it where it doesn’t belong so you now have certainty over the surface and won’t try again. Except that Andie’s palms are already rubbed raw from trying to make the sticker stay in place. Okay. Andie is not seulement to blame, we got it, no more stickers now. 

I’ll admit it now: I did not care for her time in that Hide-A-Way Cabin. I understand its importance in relation to her development and the need for her to be there, without money, because it’s an essential part of the plot, but I just couldn’t find it in me to really give a shit. Sorry, Jeff and Greta. Continuing. 

The Desi twist was something I really didn’t expect. I guess it wasn’t that far of a stretch for her to go from manipulating people and making them out to have done horrible things to her to actually killing someone. Still, didn’t think she had it in her, was all I thought while following the events of the last hundred pages.  Amazing Amy wins once again, they all shouted from the rooftops in unison, unaware of the silenced husband reduced to an obedient dog in the corner of their home soon to be filled with baby cries while his possible writer epitome Psycho Bitch rots in a recycle bin on his laptop.

[sugurus-thoughts]

Hey I don't wanna sound crazy but I was reading your "Santa doesn't know you like I do" and I- I literally have the EXACT vision for myself. I am currently about to enter undergrad school but I have this scenario in my head that I want to become Lawyer afterwards, probably live in New York, independent and rich. And you know I am a book girly, so ofc there are times when I like to fantasize about the future that I might have in this vision, and I usually hate men but I always kind of wish that maybe in the future, if I truly ever build my life this way, I hope someone comes in my life not for sex or casual shit but to actually get to know me, and know the hidden parts of my heart,because if I am being honest with you, I have never dated any guy, and even though I am still too young, but alot of people around me have, but anytime a guy approaches, I actually cut everything off really quickly for this sole reason, because guys my age around me don't think this way, for them it's another girl, another crush (not speaking for every male here obv, just the people that have come in MY life). So I was having this fake scenario and was also wishing to write it down somewhere, which was EXACTLY like your fic.

When I started reading the paragraph where you mentioned that Y/N was a lawyer, independent but guarded, I am not gonna lie to you, I physically gasped and stayed in that stance for over 10 seconds.

It's completely, exactly like how things were in my mind. Omg I still cannot believe it, it's so strange but yeah, I loved your writing <3

Hi sweetie 🤍

Hope you are well, thank you so much for the ask, it's my second one I've received which makes me feel very grateful.

This is most beautiful way you think of your future self. Firstly let me say, I didn't even have the intention on starting this drabble like this, I earased it so many times until, I got the idea. I wanted to create this because of women like us, that feel this way. I'm just like yourself career driven, ambitious, straightforward (let's not to mention the hate men) —and it's completely normal to be that way. In any way do not feel like you should change yourself for anyone just to fit in this society, I believe that one day you will meet your significant other in a very different way, one day he'll probably have to fight for his damn life to court you. You don't even have to date now, there's no need for that at all —I'm happy you made that decision for yourself to chase after your career and be an independent, hard working woman. It's not everyday you get to see women like this, so be a big inspiration for other younger girls in this generation to become like you, like us out there.

As for the men these days I agree with you —women as well. Our generation has changed a lot which led to so many different tactics that men do, even women. It's truly sad if you think about it, but in the end it's truly rare to find that 2% of men and women that are still on that level of values which is a blessing in my honest opinion. But I truly know that your dreams will come true, you will become successful and independent, I use this quote all the time "where there is a will there is a way". So for the time being when you enter your undergradate make sure you work on yourself love—mentally, physically and emotionally to one day be your own strength of pillar.

You will make it!!

ps: thank you for enjoying my writing, I hope you enjoy much more of my future writing 🤍🫂 have a lovely day/night

[astridthevalkyrie]

chand ko chakor dekhe, tujkho naseebo wala (the bird looks at the moon, a lucky one looks at you) | hawks x reader | chapter 2

“You’ve died twice? From clocks?” “I know you’re not blind to the rocks and debris flying literally everywhere! The world would be better off without you in it!” you scream at the villain. The machine is even louder as it breaks and jams into the ground. “Flying building pieces or something, I don’t know—one hit me yesterday. The first day I got knocked into a wall, and then I woke up hugging my body pillow. Same thing the next day. And the next, and the next. Did my number three pro hero partner save me? No, he let me get stuck in a fucking time loop!” Or, you’ll do a lot of things with infinite time on your hands, but falling in love with Keigo Takami isn’t one of them.

a/n: you know it's a good writing kick when i'm updating despite no one liking this but me LOL

warnings: afab reader with she/her pronouns. FOUL language, reader curses so much, and just general rudeness, lots of death because reader is morbid, reader slutshames hawks

1

“So how many times have you told me?”

“Jesus, you must be allergic to asking original questions.”

Hawks levels you with an unimpressed look. “I’d say something about how I obviously wouldn’t remember my past self’s questions—”

“‘But you’ll probably make fun of me by repeating verbatim what I’m saying.’” You smirk at the pained look on his face that accompanies your air quotes. “Yeah. Now you’re going to try and think of an original, out of the box question to ask, which, if you can believe it or not, varies on how I move or what I say. I look right, you ask me what past you has said so far, but if I look left, you ask me about how I’ve been keeping myself entertained.”

After a long pause in which you think about how much you hate this fucking coffee, Hawks says, “You’re going to be a pain to talk to.”

“I’m a goddamn delight. You’re the one I’ve had to convince of this six whole times.”

“But you keep tellin’ me, sweetheart.” Ew. Ew. “Why is that?”

“I told you, you’re a constant everyday. Besides me dying.”

“You die—”

“Yes,” you sigh impatiently, “I never get through the day without dying. The longest I’ve gone is till 4 PM.” Gesture to the clock that you know is five minutes ahead. “So, one hour left to go! Yay me.”

Now you both only stare at each other, which is new, since Hawks can usually never shut the fuck up. There’s a question you want to ask, have wanted to ask for the past few days you’ve told him (with some breaks in between because come on, you’re not a walking Wikipedia page for fucking time loops and Hawks has no idea how to not be a pain) but you’re not going to because. Uh. Insecurity or some shit. 

Taking a long swig of his yucky strawberry bright pink dark-as-his-soul drink, freaky golden eyes observe you. You only darken your own gaze. What is this? A death match? Well, you’ve died several times and he’s still stuck at zero so. You know. He can suck your dick.

“Why don’t you ask me some questions?” he finally offers, and when you narrow your eyes, he grins cheerfully. “C’mon, songbird, you know you want to.”

“What’s the ratio of men you’ve been with versus women?”

“Four to nine. Challenge me next time.”

What a smug little shit. “Slut. How crazy do you think I am right now?”

“Not any more than normal.”

“How do you not sweat in that oversized jacket?”

“Bird stuff. And style takes priority over comfort.”

“Wild.” This is boring. Fucking boring, you’re bored, and you could die at any time. How boring does something have to be for you to not be nervous about death? Goddamn. 

You’re nearly beaming when a gunshot hits the ceiling, only for your happy mood to be replaced by a horrified one when a literal mini feather takes the robber out of the store and knocks him against a lamppost. What the fuck. What the fuck, dude.

The waitress who makes the least shitty coffee in the whole cafe has tears in her eyes. “Oh, thank you, Hawks! Thank you! I was so scared!”

“When?”

A fat tear catches on her lip as she quivers. “W-what?”

“When were you scared? He dealt with that in a second! The asshole didn’t even give you time to be scared!”

“I’m fast,” Hawks winks at her, stepping too close for your comfort. Slut. WHORE. “Oh my god,” he snaps his fingers in realization, “you knew that was going to happen. You’re a bad person.” For some reason, that thought is abso-fucking-lutely hilarious to him. “You were so about to let this store be robbed.”

“Um, no. For your FYI—”

“Redundant—”

“The same things don’t happen everyday. I mean that stupid fucking shit for brains asshole clock bitch always shows up, but the cafe has never been robbed before. That’s just the universe trying to kill me. Look.” You stomp out, waving away the waitress who seems too hesitant to tell you that you have to pay they can put you in jail give you a life sentence it won’t matter now innit and kneel down by the robber.

“Aha! One more bullet. This was my death instrument. But you interrupted.” 

SCARY shimmery golden eyes get closer closerthanhewastothewaitress until you’re knelt up against the same lamppost that gave Mr. Robber a concussion. “So I saved your life. Do I get a thank you kiss?”

“You get a choke on my balls, man. Also, you’re being, like. Really casual about this. Consistently. You’re telling me to try stuff and I’m trying the stuff, like I watched the Bill Murray movie and I gave myself a really good orgasm, and none of it worked, but if I didn’t know better I’d say you were living this with me.”

“Nah.” The corners of his lips quirk up genuinely. “I’m just trying to match whatever you’re giving me. You’re not panicking, so I’m not gonna be the one who tries to push you over the edge.”

“But I am panicking. Like, it’s whatever because I can’t stop it, but Hawks, I’m still...” You blink, looking at him, for the first time, with a defeated look. “Stuck.”

The pro catches your chin before it falls, forcing it up to meet his gaze. Ugly, lemon-colored eyes. Lips that at least four men and nine women have kissed. You wonder if Hawks is into degradation. He looks like he has a praise kink.

His hand encircles your wrist, he leans in, and then he blows a cherry on your cheek.

“Gross, dude, you’re gross!”

“Tell me everyday.” he replies cheerfully, “not that I’m gross.” You’re going to tell him exactly that everyday. Even when you’re not in a time loop. If you’re ever not in a time loop. “But about what’s happening. I’ll help get you unstuck no matter what.”

Why. You’re not gonna ask that. You’re just gonna accept the help that he owes you for not saving you the first day. And fuck that little butterfly-flutterfly shitstain feeling that’s usually reserved for your pussy that’s creeping up higher and twisting into knots in your stomach.

(The only time you’ve ever felt it with Hawks in the past was that one time he was fucking stuffing his gob with cheap street vendor fried chicken and when he swallowed he. Groaned. Out loud. All disgusting and unghhhh and shit.  And your womanly wiles liked it. The fuck.)

“Fine.” Your palm touches his cheek right as the robber comes to, taking the gun that you cleverly left at his side and blowing a hole in your head. 

—————————————————

You will not be telling Hawks you died while caressing his prickly bird face.

—————————————————

In three days actuallynodaysatallhowSPOOKY, it’s 4 PM, and you and Hawks are at the top of the highest building in the city. 

“You never did ask.” Hawks looks and sounds like a villain, surrounded by so many feathers pointed outward. You feel like a civ too, in the middle of it all, standing helplessly. But you’re not scared of him. If you weren’t sure you could take him? Then maybe. Are you sure? Maybe. Whatever. You can work on that confidence todaymorrow.

“Ask what?” The way your hands are up as though you’re ready to fight invisible demons would you make you fucking cackle if it was anyone else.

“Why my questions are different depending on the way you turn.”

You release a heavy laugh, eyes darting around like a madwoman. What will it be? A comet? A criminal? The building itself crumbling? You’d think a person would know what to expect after…nineteen? twenty? however-many-the-fuck-days. “You shit. That’s why you’ve been telling me to ask you stuff each day. Clever little birdbrain.”

A fly barely gets into the fray before a crimson feather wraps around it and tosses it to the side. Hawks does many things, but taking chances when it comes to doing his job isn’t one of them, apparently. Not that this is his job. Or at least you didn’t ask for it to be if he’s making it his personal mission to ensure you live that’s on him and only him.

“So why?”

“Oh, I’m not gonna tell you.”

“What!? Why not?”

“Because now there’s at least one piece of info that you won’t know and can’t parrot to poor tomorrow me.” He grins, showing you his stupid pearly whites. “Sucks to suck.”

“Fuck you.” You flip him off. “I’ll just manipulate it out of you tomorrow.”

Hawks’ voice comes out in a song—only this bitch would somehow find a way to one-up you when you’re literally immortal. “No, you woooon’t, songbird. Oh, hey!” He holds up his phone. “4:01!”

“4:01?” Your eyes bulge.

“Four o fucking one!”

“4:01!” you shriek happily, throwing yourself into his arms. Hawks squeezes you tight, burying his face in your hair like you two are the parents of some graduating high school student who was also the class president as THOUGH your combined genes would ever create such a genius. 

Hawks is warm.

A plane fucking crashes into you. He’s miraculously spared.

Bitch.