#that one needs a lot of work in general
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The urge to write a 200k+ medieval fantasy book with slow burn enemies to lovers is very strong.
But then I remember I have to think of an actual plot that happens and not just little scenarios to throw them in ;-;
#caiffee spills#i have like a couple of ideas but like one ive *tried* to write several times as fanfic#so id need to figure out how to seperate the more minecraft elements of it#(funnily enough ive tried using the same plot for two different fandoms#but both of those were connected to minecraft so i didnt need to worry about those elements)#and another idea i had needs much reworking#because it *used* to be a time loop fic mixed with a travelling through different universes fic#that one needs a lot of work in general#like characters needing names lol#(they had names at one point but i either dont remember them or dont like them anymore)#also that mc one i talked about aint even enemies to lovers#but it does include necromancer and a god of death falling in love#the necromancer becomes a necromancer to save their best friend who in turn finds love whilst dead(ish)
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“Haven’t You Noticed (I’m a Star)” from Steven Universe works so ridiculously well for Leo
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#rottmnt leo#rise leo#listen it’s morning now and I haven’t slept so bear with me for the sudden unwarranted lyric analysis haha#a lotttt of the lyrics work so well for him#not even just the overall theme the words just work great#first lyric is literally ‘I can’t help it if I make a scene’ which is one to one with ‘Leo’s makin a scene’ from the rottmnt opening like-#‘I’m turning heads and I’m stopping traffic’ -> Leo has not made it a secret that he values his looks a LOT#-not just his looks but also his ability to get people’s attention#‘when I pose they scream when I joke they laugh’ -> I feel like this speaks for itself#-posing and joking for the crowd and himself#‘I’ve got them dazzled like a stage magician’ -> works both with Leo’s canonical love of magicians and his aptitude with tricks in general#‘well everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you’ -> I just think it’d be cute to imagine his friends here just as his bros#‘I got you and you and you’ = ‘my brainy guy my smashing guy and eats peanut butter with his fingers guy’#‘haven’t you noticed that I’m a star?’ -> Leo loves attention and especially loves when his feats and efforts are acknowledged#+ he loves glam rock and sci-fi and being a champ and - listen he has a LOT of star symbolism with him#‘haven’t you noticed I made it this far’ - Leo is well aware of how dangerous situations get and thinks himself only a part of a whole#-so hey it’s notable that he’s survived this long yeah?#‘now everyone can see me burning’ -> self-sacrificing with his family bearing witness + all his star and flame symbolism in general#+ how attention naturally goes to him - including bad attention where his mistakes are highlighted and burn bright#also even the limo lyric-#obviously this boy has never and will never own a limo but one of his main secondary colors IS pink so even that#okay that one is just a joke but he would#(on that note though I think the other colors the boys gravitate to outside THEIR color are fun to notice)#I don’t actually know too much about Steven universe beyond the songs and some eps but I like the music#and this just came to my tired mind so here you go anyone who’s interested#may draw something with these lyrics dunno yet#it’s a good song in any case even though it’s super short
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Heads up! There is going to be a very long and detailed post about making sausages dropping in a few hours.
It's got a big red content warning and a readmore, so nothing is going to get gruesomely dropped on you, but make sure you add "butchery" or "cw butchery" to your tag filters to be extra safe if the idea of processing animal carcasses is upsetting to you!
It also has an image of sausage casings before they're scraped. I tried to whack the post with as many CWs as I can think of but I'd recommend "cw meat" or "cw organs" if you need them.
#I also kinda started infodumping about sausages in general#It's a lot more of a food post than a lore post#And that's because 1. I'm hungry and 2. I want to make a whole official warrior bites entry on clan sausages#Delving into how the sausages tend to be different between Clans because of their environments and preferences#The person who sent the ask seemed to be requesting technical info#So technical info they GOT#Funfact about me. One of my ancestors sold hot dogs for a living.#You all jest about silly American in the hamburger mine working hard for 1 rock and roll disk.#But I am from proud lineage of hotdogslingers. I have no need of rock and roll disk#I hot dog out of pride. For honor. A lone ranger.#''Gee Bones why do you like food so much'' my blood is hot dog water#Also I am not squeamish at all. Like. I'm chronically unsqueamish when it comes to meat and overestimate the comfort of other people#SO I try to make up for it with ample warnings like this#Since I got some new followers who may not be used to the Regularly Scheduled Strange Topics or how I do stuff.
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.
#I also think american exceptionalism and their bizarre cultural one-way street isolation plays a role#i think it's different if you actually see other countries as equals and see that they have female leaders and realise that it's#not going downhill it's not solving everything it's business as usual and it's just another boring fucking politician#and this makes the gender of the candidate LESS (not saying no) issue people obsess about or feel a need to discuss#(e.g. people laying into the appearance of female politicians? certainly misogyny. making jokes about cooking and shoes? definitely too#but I feel like that was more a 'gotta insult these fucking politicians' and gender being one of the targets when people want to do that)#but if you're the US and giant parts of the populace think they're the specialmost extra complicatedest country in this our planetworld#the fact that it works for so many other countries takes a much lower priority#because 'yeah sure a woman can govern a....'checks notes' Fineland and United Kingdom of England or Germanland'#but the US of freedom? we got a red button and what if she's on her period!!?! We are a REAL country!!'#not to mention how deeply entrenched the idea of the US as being CONSTANTLY under attack is and the president as the PROTECTOR#and that protector needs to be daddy of course#i also think the different attitude to leaders plays a role#because a part of misogyny is how much people love to HATE women - to sink their teeth into them and demonise them for every flaw#so any country that has some kind of weird worship of their leaders or sees them as some heroes or extra-class of person*#in my opinion might have a harder time to elect a woman because the moment a woman becomes a candidate#you just have to find the right flaw to go on and on about to make the population absolutely hate her or question her competency#meanwhile the general slack we cut men means they can do whatever but somehow still be compatible with that concept of leadership#(*not just the US ....though a lot of other countries with similar attitudes to their leaders are not standing out as democracies tbh)
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L'APPEL DU VIDE
okay so. jack! jack. what a collection of guys. the overlap between jack and the beanstalk and jack the giant killer, though. that sure is something! sometimes king arthur is there, which always takes me by surprise.
this. specifically. is an idea I've been kicking around. jack and the beanstalk is not a story I've ever enjoyed, as a kid it was probably my least favorite to read. as an adult, I was INTENSELY fascinated by reading j.g. ballard's the drowned giant. I think about it frequently, and somewhere during a re read of it, I ended up revisiting jack.
combining different versions of jack into one character is not a new concept, but it IS a fun one! the version I've been assembling together plays less with the fun elements of a jack story (and adjacent folklore stories), and focuses more on the potential for tragic elements with the addition of the usual grim and jagged narrative edges that I personally enjoy.
jack with the backstory of the devil and the three golden hairs, only jack doesn't find love, he's TIRED, all he wants to do is go home, but there isn't a home to go back to. what is the point of being born lucky if this is what it gets you? jack the giant killer, only he doesn't want to kill giants, jack who saw a body of a giant when he was a small child and cannot bring himself to do as a king commands. jack, who climbs up the beanstalk and stops halfway to look down. etc.
to go back to the drowned giant real quick, both to set the tone about jack seeing the body of a giant as a youth, and also because I've been haunted and obsessed with this excerpt of it ever since I read it:
J. G. Ballard, The Drowned Giant
anyway! this was originally like, a two illustration concept to get out of my system. however. I'm halfway through outlining a narrative. so. maybe it will also be several illustrations and also comic.
#original tag#generic medieval tag#WAHOO. alright.#i dont have any additional commentary in the tags. reading the drowned giant years ago Did Something To Me#and it connected with whatever it was that made me dislike the jack and the beanstalk narrative (i know what it is. its just not really#all that relevant to this post. also im tired. its time for bed)#through the power of Why Not. i will now. turn it into a story????#i think. its definitely been taking up a lot of space in my mind lately#the only thing stopping me from turning it into my Side Project to do when i need a break from doing Bad Governance edits#is that. ive run out of notebooks???? to start a new story in. and i am Old and i only outline stuff by hand#eventually i'll get to daiso and pick up some new ones and work on this for real. until then. im going to continue to write about it#in my personal journal where i dump all my thoughts and ideas into
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About to deep clean & rearrange my bookcase …… I am about to be a girl reborn
#Ft. actually streamlining my tbr & fully getting back on my reading wagon#Bc that will keep me sane during intense study camps#Side note but it’s so interesting seeing how my general genre palette has shifted over the last year#It’s still a lot of fiction & nonfiction but now it’s tempered w a lot of history & politically conscious pieces & neurology#A lot of works by Iraqis & Palestinians I’m sooo excited#The Palestinian works were recommended by my Palestinian friends & then the Iraqi ones I need to keep digging for bc solely#Reading books about Iraqi history authored by like . American ppl would be cheating myself#Like I’m not shunning it but I need Iraqi authors in my rotation too. Sooo necessary
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What are asgore and spades favorite colors
#deltarune#asks#drawings#asgore#spade#king of spades#spade king#asgore dreemurr#spadesgore#technically#king spade#no one asked but i want to elaborate#asgore describes colours in pairs not just because it might be the only colour theory he knows#but because thats also how he generally just sees. people and their traits#as if everything needs something to compliment#hence why he feels so out of place and useless to himself when hes not married/in a relationship#the way he describes yellow and purple are a good way to describe him and toriel in undertale#royal colours that are tied to hope but they only shine when theyre constracted against the grim tragedy that shaped them#with blue and orange it kind of describes sans and papyrus especially with how their comedic timing works#like when youre alone with sans in mtt resort the tone is a LOT more somber - colder#but when papyrus is by himself hes all jumpy and shit and he hardly seems as down to earth as he does with sans around#and red and green imo are the most important in analysing asgore specifically bc his weapon is red#but his shirt colour in post pacifist and deltarune is pink - literally a softer version of the cruelty we KNOW hes capable of#he describes it as just sort of -fitting- with the greenery he surrounds himself with and i think that mostly has to do with what he WANTS#all the plants and the greenery are ALIVE but almost toxic. meanwhile someone else most prominantly associated with red is rudy#the guys whole gimmick is having a bright red nose#its like asgore surrounds himself with the colour that would compliment the person he wants#or literally wearing their colours a la him and toriel having the same shade of blue on in undertale#and spade? hes just emo. he likes black because its a lack of colour - a lack of light#the reason he works as a good parallel to asgore in this sense is because he breaks asgores dychotamy and forces his own
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if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks, then i’ll follow you into the dark [chapter 1/?]
hayakawa aki × shy fiend f!reader
-> safe for work (for now) // 4.9k words // AO3. -> warnings: smoking, blood, cheesy, friendship, romance, discrimination, fluff, angst, pining that may or may not be mutual, soft aki, protective aki, eventual smut, eventual romance, canon divergent, fic will get into darker topics as the story progresses but i'll update the warnings as i go, chainsaw man part 1 spoilers.
Devil hunters use devils to kill devils.
The irony was never lost on you. This was a use or get used world, after all.
In the distance, your ears picked up the sounds of a fight. Explosions, rubble falling, metal crunching. It sounded far enough away for you not to worry about closing the convenience store early (not that your boss would’ve let you), but it was still close enough for you to stay alert as you stood on a flipped milk crate, stocking the fridge. The situation seemed to have settled by the time you finished and you allowed yourself to relax.
You were behind the counter reading a romance novel when the smell of dust and blood assaulted your nose, making you look up at the source. The sliding doors let out a melodic chime as a tall man with a top knot dressed in a black suit entered the store, walking straight for the freezers in the back. Your eyes stayed glued to the sword strapped to his back until he was no longer visible from where you stood.
You took a sip from your water bottle before returning your attention back to the book in front of you. Two pages later, you realize you weren’t actually processing the words on the page and, with a sigh, you flip back to try again. You struggled reading the same paragraph over and over until the sound of aluminum cans clanking against the counter top startled you. The man with a top knot (with a sword strapped to his back) had placed canned coffees and an apple in front of you.
“Cigarettes, too.”
Before he could finish pulling out his wallet, you set a white box down on the counter between the two of you. He stared down at the box of Mevius One KS cigarettes with a furrow in his brow and his eyes moved to meet your own.
“I-I have a good nose.” You anxiously look away from him and quickly scan his items, placing them neatly in a plastic bag. “That’ll be ¥4,570.74.”
The man eyed you for a moment, as if studying you, then pulled out his card to insert it into the machine until he noticed a sign with messy handwriting stating that the card machine was out of order. He returned his card back into it’s place in his wallet before pulling out cash and placing it into your outreached hand, his cold fingers brushing against yours as he did so.
“You’re good,” he says quietly.
You suck in a breath at his comment and nod, feeling unsure of how else to respond so you simply thank him for shopping at the convenience store and to have a nice day. You watch his dark form disappear down the street before letting out a sigh of relief as you adjusted the crochet beanie on your head.
+
Two or three times a week, he would come in to buy canned coffee and cigarettes. The two of you never spoke much beyond pleasantries. (“hello,” “good afternoon,” “have a nice day,” “you too.”)
Currently, he was in the back of the store by the freezers. You tried to keep your attention on your book as you absent-mindedly fidgeted with the sleeve of your over-sized cardigan.
It had been a few short months since you started working here, since you first noticed him. The convenience store wasn’t the closest one to the Public Safety office in Tokyo, but it was still frequented daily by people who worked there, including other devil hunters.
Every now and then you’d stop seeing a face come by the shop and determined that they must have been killed on the job. It wasn’t a secret that devil hunters didn’t have very long lifespans, it was the nature of the job. However, you recently found yourself feeling relieved whenever he stepped over the threshold of the sliding glass doors and greeted you in return.
You weren’t entirely sure why you felt that way. He was obviously attractive, though you doubted that was reason for your feelings.
Still, relieved as you may be, you found it difficult to focus whenever the two of you shared the same four walls.
To you, devils had an acrid smell. The stronger the devil, the more offensive the smell was. You were sure the devil hunter was human, but the scents that lingered on him were the strongest you had smelled in quite a while. The smell was stronger on him than it was on most of the devil hunters you encountered.
He must have worked closely with strong devils and the thought of that frightened you. You once heard a group of devil hunters mention a special division in Public Safety that made devils work for them without free will.
You cautiously cast glance his way as he flipped through a magazine, and you wondered if this devil hunter (your devil hunter) was involved with something as awful as that.
+
By now, he must have noticed the way you always avoided eye contact with him. You're sure of it.
You try to read but you simply could not focus and you found yourself looking in his direction every few minutes. He walked around the shop, aimlessly browsing, rather than going straight for what he came for like he usually did. You’re tempted by the opportunity to strike up a conversation with him, to get to know him a little (for better or worse), but you bite your tongue.
You wouldn’t know what to say. The majority of your social skills were learnt through reading books.
You notice that sometimes, when the store gets empty, he stares at you for a few moments, as if he wants to say something, before thinking better of it and exiting the store, leaving you to watch him from behind.
+
You felt your hands shaking more than they usually did whenever he was around. You hoped he didn't notice, though when you looked up at him, you could see him watching you. Your eyes briefly look over at the sword on his back before returning your attention back to the monitor and reading him his total.
You took his money and shakily hand him the receipt, which he takes. You quickly look away and feel his lingering gaze, followed by the small intake of breath. You get the impression that he's about to say something.
You do your best to look busy organizing your space behind the counter. Your hands were trembling, causing you to knock over a candy display. Rolls of mints clattered around your boots and you bend over to pick them up.
You hear the chiming of the sliding doors as they opened and closed and you peeked over the counter to see that he was gone.
+
A few days later, you’re stocking the freezer with drinks. Despite wearing your cardigan and beanie, you shivered as you struggled to reach the top shelves. You forgot to grab the milk crate from behind the counter to help you reach higher, but with the devil hunter in the store earlier than usual, you decided to quickly wrap up stocking so that you could get back to the counter.
Large, pale hands grasp the can from your hand, making you flinch in surprise. You look over your shoulder and see the devil hunter helping you place the remaining drinks on the top shelf. You swallow hard and avert your eyes from him.
“Thank you...” He nodded then went on his way to continued his shopping. You walk back to the register to wait for him. You felt his gaze on you but you didn’t dare look up away from the register you were pretending to clean. Your head hurt from overthinking.
You checked out his items when he brought them over to you, faster than you usually did. You were eager for him to leave so that you could focus on anything other than him right now.
"A box of Mevius One KS, please."
You were too distracted with your own thoughts that you forgot to give him his cigarettes. You apologize and turn in a hurry to reach for them on the shelf, stepping onto the milk crate, but in your haste you lost your balance. You yelped as you fell onto the cold tile, boxes of cigarettes raining down on your head.
The next thing you knew, he’s behind the counter kneeling beside you, scanning you for any injuries before returning his gaze to yours.
“Are you okay?”
You couldn’t help but notice the concern in his voice. It was a stark contrast to the stoicism he usually exuded whenever he was in the store.
You nod, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarrassment as you looked up at him. You look away again, sitting up despite your butt aching from the fall. You ran a nervous hand through your hair and realized your beanie had fallen off and the devil hunter was staring—right at the pair of fluffy ears on your head.
“You’re…” he pauses, looking at you in a way that was hard to read.
You panicked. You grabbed your beanie from the floor, clumsily hopped over the counter, knocking over the candy display in the process as you ran out of the store.
“Wait! Come back!”
He continued to call out after you, his voice growing more and more distant until you could no longer make out the individual words. Your feet feel like they’re going to give out from underneath you as you sprint along the sidewalk hoping to never see him away.
+
The following day was your day off, but your boss called you in. He fired you for leaving the store unattended and withheld your final paycheck. When you timidly tried to stand up for yourself, telling him that he couldn’t do that, he said he could because you had no human rights as a fiend.
There was nothing you could do about it.
You managed to find another job in a grocery store on the other side of town. It was farther away from your home, but safer since it lessened the risk of running into the same devil hunter again.
A few weeks later, you were working the register when you recognized his scent. Your eyes widened in horror when you realized he had found you. The two of you stared at each other.
His expression was stern and focused. There’s no trace of the gentleness he’d shown last time. A depressing reminder that this man wasn’t just a man and you weren’t just a woman.
He was here to kill you, or worse.
You were frozen in place. It’s only when he begins to approach you that you remember to breathe. You trembled fearfully as he stood in front of you.
“Hey—”
“P-Please don’t hurt me,” you sputtered out from behind the register.
His expression softens, but his eyes are steady, resolute. You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s trying to convey some sort of message to you.
“I’m not going to kill you, don’t worry,” he replies calmly. “I’m not here to harm you in any way.”
"But you're a devil hunter... are you here to capture me and force me to work for Public Safety?"
"No."
You don’t believe him and flinch away when he pulls something from his inner suit pocket.
An envelope.
"I realized you were probably scared of being hunted, so I didn’t chase you. I went looking for you back at the convenience store the next day. Your boss said you were fired. I found out he illegally withheld your final paycheck, so I've been searching for you to return it."
Your brows furrow as he places the envelope on the counter. You weren't sure if you could trust him or not. His eyes never left your face as you looked down at the envelope then back up at him. You're not sure what to say or do, but his quiet, patient composure is a stark contrast to his intimidating presence earlier.
He gestures towards the envelope. “You can open it. I’m not trying to force you to join Public Safety. I’m simply making sure you get what’s rightfully yours. You can’t exactly sue him.”
The fact that he seemed so confident that this was going to change everything, that you're going to trust him, sends your brain into overdrive. You don't know what to do.
“Open it," he says quietly. Gently.
You hesitantly reach for the envelope and open it, finding the money your former boss denied you of. You expect him to demand something from you in return, but he quietly walked out of the store.
+
A couple of weeks later, you pick up his scent again as you’re stacking a table with cans on sale. You noticed he was accompanied by two others with inhuman scents. Both strong and familiar smells that you’ve smelled on him in the past. Devils. In the grocery store? Their casual-wear made it seem like they weren’t on official business and based on the way they were acting, the three of them seemed close.
You were nearly finished with stacking the can display, when the devils accidentally ran their cart into the table, knocking over the cans. The devil hunter turned at the sound and came over.
You’re on your knees, picking up cans and placing them back on the table to get them off the floor. The devils snickered, until the devil hunter scolded them.
"Can you two knock it off and help pick those up?"
For some reason that makes you feel embarrassed and you tell him that it’s okay. “It was an accident. Don’t worry, it’s my job to do this...”
His gaze meets yours.
“Hey," he says quietly as he approaches the knocked over cans. After taking a quick glance at you, he begins to clean up the mess while the devils continued to bicker and argue as they stacked, making a competition out of it. The way they carried themselves, like bickering siblings. Not that you would know personally, but it reminded you of siblings in the stories you’ve read. You were wondering how old they were when you realized just how tall the devil hunter actually is; he seems to dwarf the other two.
"Are you alright?" He asked, looking at the fallen cans lying on the floor. You could feel his eyes on you, looking over you as though checking to see any sign of injuries. You sneak a peek at him, noticing his eyes glancing at the beanie on your head. The beanie that covered your devil ears.
You nod, your timid and nervous nature getting in the way of the moment. He scolds the others and eventually gives them the task of doing the rest of the shopping and offering them a snack reward. They run off excitedly with the cart as he helped you stack the cans. The two of you worked quietly.
He continued helping you for a bit longer, his presence soothing rather than intimidating like before. Then, once you finish stacking the cans on the shelf, he steps back for a moment as though hesitating.
You glance at him nervously, nodding as you chewed on your bottom lip. You wondered if it’d be rude to walk away right now. Probably.
"Are you busy after work?"
Your eyes widen, and you can feel your heart beginning to beat faster. You can hear the others laughing in the distance, clearly not paying attention to the conversation taking place.
"Yes," you lied.
He made a face, as if he could easily tell that you had just lied from your tone and nervous body language, but nodded anyways. He offered to buy you something to eat as an apology for the cans and for being the reason you lost your previous job at the convenience store.
"Will I... owe you?"
"No."
You weren’t sure whether or not you should trust him. So far, he seemed to have your best interests in mind, though you knew that could also be a trick. You decided to take a leap of faith.
"Apples. I like apples."
His expression remained stoic and you felt vulnerable under his watchful gaze. People who knew you were not human treated you differently, saw you differently. To them, you felt invisible and disposable. Like something to be used and tossed away when it became too much trouble. The way this devil hunter looked at you now was different than how he used to look at you when he thought you were a human like him, but it also didn’t feel like he thought of you as something less than him. The way he was looking at you right now made you feel like your heart was in your throat. You try to swallow it back down.
“Apples?” He gives a small nod. "Then I'll buy you some.”
+
He buys you a bag of apples.
It becomes routine.
Whenever he stops by the grocery store, he would leave you with a bag of apples.
It was the kindest thing a human had ever done for you.
You craved speaking with him, not really getting much positive attention from others. You felt lonely and wondered if he could tell. You didn't trust humans but you wanted to trust him. You really wanted to trust him.
So, you tried talking to him a little bit. It was awkward and you were as clumsy with your words as you were with your body but in a few months, the two of you were able to have casual small talk. You were so happy to be able to joke with him, even just a little bit.
Your relationship with him grew over time with these simple interactions, these little moments of kindness that he showed you.
This is a stark contrast to the way devil hunters and civilians had treated you in the past. Their disdain for devils would get in the way of your interactions, but you didn’t have that problem with your devil hunter. Seeing him with his devil friends gave you hope.
You looked forward to his visits. His presence is a quiet one. He doesn't expect anything from you, nor does he ask much about you yet here you are, talking almost like... friends.
"Th-Thank you, Mr. Hayakawa." You speak his name for the first time, a bit timidly. You learned it a couple of months ago when he asked to be signed up for the grocery store’s rewards program, but you never said it out loud until now. He had just bought you apples again and you wanted to thank him.
His expression was as gentle as his voice. "Just Aki is fine."
The way he holds himself seems to have loosened up considerably. His shoulders, once stiff and tense, now hang loosely by his sides. He no longer seems quite as intimidating. And you're not sure how exactly, but it almost seems as if his presence becomes... softer.
You nod, feeling your face heat up. "Sorry, th-thank you, Mr. A-Aki..!"
You can't tell if there's a small hint of amusement in his eyes, but then again, he's hard to read.
"Why 'Mr. Aki'?" He asks you curiously.
"Did I say something wrong? Would you prefer a different title?" You nervously fiddle with your fingers.
His eyebrows knit together slightly, as though thinking. “It’s not really needed, I guess. You don't need to call me by any title or honorific. Aki's enough..." He trails off.
"O-Okay... A-Aki..."
You felt your face heat even more from being allowed to refer to him so informally. You have never spoken someone's name so casually before. You distract yourself by stiffly scanning the rest of his items.
He eyes the bag of apples sitting at the end of the register’s moving belt. "Did you want anything else?" He asks, his eyes looking back to you. Your eyes widen and you shake your head furiously, knocking your beanie off balance, slightly revealing the bottom of one of your fluffy ears. Aki eyes it, wondering if you’d notice it in time to fix it before anyone else saw it.
"No, no I'm okay! Really! The apples are good. I love apples. I-I... Thank you, Aki."
"Are you sure?" He asks and from the way his eyes were staring at your cheeks you knew he was aware you were feeling very flustered right now.
Aki’s eyes return to your visible ear. You were beginning to feel self-conscious when he leaned over the counter of the register and adjusted your beanie. “Your ear was showing. Sorry.”
You flinched at the sudden contact and as he pulled away, you grabbed his wrists without thinking. You hold onto him for a moment.
The air around you seems to heat up slightly, the intensity of your gaze rather palpable. You feel a shiver run down your spine at the closeness of the situation and notice his eyebrow raising in confusion. He seemed a little surprised by how close you are to him, but he doesn't back away. The sound of someone sneezing snapped you out of your daze and you released him.
You back away from the register, avoiding his eyes and mumbling a series of apologies before making up some excuse about needing to unclog a toilet.
(Aki watched you run off towards the back. He could still feel the warmth of your hands around his wrists as he left the store).
+
The next few times Aki went to the store, you weren’t around. He asks the manager about you and she said that you took a few weeks off.
Aki wondered why and if it had anything to do with what happened.
+
As the days passed, his curiosity over why you weren’t around grew. He doesn’t know if your last encounter with him had anything to do with that, but he hoped that it didn’t.
Your absence brought about a certain sense of loneliness, and though he’s never admitted it to himself, he starts to miss you and the moments that you’d shared with one another.
+
You return a month later, avoiding Aki's eyes as you scanned his items. You were quiet today.
As you return to your old routine, you feel Aki’s eyes trailing you. He keeps to himself and gives you space, but he’s still observant as you worked. Something had changed in your demeanor. You're being polite but distant, keeping your distance from him and not speaking unless absolutely necessary. You’re not like yourself at all. He doesn’t know why and it makes his curiosity grow even more.
"Is something wrong?" He leans forward a bit, wondering if he'd done something wrong.
"No..." You say quietly as you handed him his change, careful not to touch him.
The way that you speak makes him certain that there is something wrong; he's known you long enough to tell. Your avoidance is what catches his attention however.
You bag his items and another customer sets their items down on the belt for you to scan. There are plenty of people lining up behind Aki, so you turn your attention to the next customer as you bag his items.
“Is this about me?” He asks, once the customers have cleared the line-up. He’d been watching you interact with the other customers and noticed that you weren't behaving this way with them. Only with him.
"Yes," you say hesitantly, "But you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that's the problem..." Your face burns red. "Please don't worry about it."
"Well, now you've got me worried," he replies, his usual stoic expression giving way to genuine concern. "You've been acting a bit strange. Like something happened."
"It-It doesn't feel appropriate to say, so I'd really rather we didn't get into it." You say as you fiddled with your fingers. "It's nothing worth worrying about. Nothing bad happened and I don't think ill of you, Mr- I mean, Aki."
If he wasn’t so worried, he would've quietly laughed at your little slip up. Aki watches you as you fiddle with your fingers, a bit more concerned now. He doesn’t like not being able to figure out what’s been on your mind this entire time.
You’re keeping things vague, and it’s driving him crazy.
"So, this has nothing to do with our last interaction?" he asks you, genuinely curious.
Your face reddens even more, "It... it may have something to do with that..." You look at the clock on the wall before timidly looking at Aki. "If it's okay with you, can we talk about it after my shift ends in 20 minutes..?"
He nods, still trying not to let any emotion appear on his face.
"That’s fine. I'll be waiting for you outside if that’s okay.”
+
Fifty minutes later, you run outside, panting heavily.
"S-Sorry for taking so long. You didn't have to wait." Your hands squeezed at the strap of your cross body bag.
"I don't mind," he tells you. You notice the way his eyes scan your face, as if he's looking for something in particular. Like he's trying to figure something out. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be okay. Thank you, Aki." You chew on your bottom lip as you look at him. It all suddenly feels too real and you look down at the ground again. "I-I'm not being weird because you did something wrong. I've been acting strangely because I've recently realized my... my feelings. I'm sorry." You say quietly.
"Ah..." Aki replies softly, his attention glued to you as you nervously chew on your lip. "Can I ask you something?"
You nod. (In your head, you were mentally preparing for him to tell you to work at a different store so that he never has to see your devil face ever again.)
"You said that you've recently realized your feelings, but..." he pauses. "How long have you actually liked me?" There's a teasing smile playing on his lips.
Your ears perk up on your head, shifting your beanie slightly. "Not long! I swear, I promise it's only recent. It wasn't until I went home after the last time I saw you, when you were fixing my hat, that I realized there might be some feelings from my end. I promise I had no ulterior motives during the last ten months."
"Just how recent are we talking?"
"...Actually, maybe I did have an ulterior motive. No, not maybe. I did have one."
Your ears moved under the beanie, knocking it off of your head. Your ears lay flat against your head, like if you did something wrong.
“Really?” Aki raises an eyebrow, "What was your ulterior motive?"
"I…” You spoke quietly while staring down at his shoes. “I wanted to be your friend."
There’s a long moment of silence.
“...That’s an ulterior motive?” he asks, a hint of amusement returning to his voice. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
"Of course it is..! It was something I wanted that you didn't know I wanted. That's the definition, right?" Your face is red and your ears twitch but remain flat. "You were always so kind to me and whenever I saw you and Power and Denji behaving so familiar with each other I-I wanted that too." Your voice cracked and your eyes welled with tears.
Aki’s kindness meant the world to you and you wanted to be a part of his world, too.
He picked your beanie up off of the ground and dusted it off before placing it back on your head, carefully covering your ears for you.
“It is technically an ulterior motive,” Aki admits. He looks away from your eyes, to the ground between the two of you. “Is that really the main reason you kept talking to me?”
You nodded while trying to make yourself look at his face,
"I like you, in both senses of the word, but the platonic meaning is what I value the most. You've treated me with kindness and patience, even when I pretended to act like I was bad at my job just so I could have a few extra seconds of time with you."
Aki's expression softens.
“Do you want to come over my place for dinner?”
“Huh!?” Your eyes nearly pop out of your head at his sudden question, “Where did that come from?”
“Denji and Power will be there, too...” He trailed off.
“No, it’s okay. Thank you for the offer, though. I appreciate it but I don’t want to impose.”
“You won’t be imposing.”
He walks you to his car and when he unlocks it, you open the door to the backseat. He says you could sit up front if you wanted to. So you do. He helps secure your seat belt since you weren’t doing it quite right.
“Sorry. I’ve never used a seat belt before.”
“Never?” He asks as he maneuvers the car around the parking lot.
“Never.”
He stops, waiting for a chance to safely enter the street and takes that moment to glance at you from the corner of his eye. “You can open the window, if you want.”
Your ears perk up, pushing the beanie off of your head and onto your lap. Aki tells you which button to press and soon enough, your window was all the way down.
“Thank you, Aki.”
He nods, making a noise of acknowledgment as he turned the car onto the street. You stuck your head out the window to feel the wind whipping at your grinning face. And as Aki drove the two of you to his home, he had a feeling that he wouldn’t mind getting used to this.
#aki hayakawa x reader#hayakawa aki x reader#aki x reader#chainsaw man#aki hayakawa#hayakawa x reader#csm#fiend reader#reader insert#reader-insert#aki hayakawa x y/n#aki hayakawa x you#aki x you#aki x y/n#i hope i tagged it well enough sorry if you see this w/o wanting to#lots of mistakes but that's okay it's almost 6am i did my 11/11 post#will not be posting colour theory pt. 3 sonata chapter 1 today sowwyyy#trust me i'm trying to work on it and i have had the general story noted down but i'm having issues#i need to redo my notes bc i've made a lot of changes over the past year and a half and i need to be sure i have all the details and dates#correct or else i will explode#this was supposed to be one of my halloween posts but my tummy pains ended up being a kidney stone :(#still in pain but at least i have meds and i'm not getting nausea just from reading#csm x reader#csm x you#csm x y/n#chainsaw man x reader#if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark#this may be my only csm/aki fic idk i don't really have plans for any more and it's been a year since i wrote the og version of this#it will be at least 20 chapters i think#i hope
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eiden inspires me to new heights [working up the courage to negotiate prices at the farmer's market]
#while reading edmond's nuca pink dj i saw the part where eiden's general helpfulness was being pointed out#where eiden negotiated with the sellers at the market to get free stuff and nice deals...#when i saw that#i went#WOW.... eiden!! you're amazing... i wish i could do that#but recently at the farmer's market#i needed a LOT of eggplants#and... i thought of eiden. wait... why can't i be like him? isn't this the perfect opportunity to try?#so during my chitchat with the farmer i put on my brave face and asked if there were any bulk discounts#i am not built for haggling. it is pure nightmare for me#anyway!! i DID get a nice discount!!! wow!!!#a part of me thinks he would have given me one anyway considering it was the end of the day and all that#but!! i worked up the nerve to ask and!! CHEAP PRODUCE!!!#my moussaka loves u eiden. my wallet loves u. i love u#nu carnival eiden
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Mutual left this tag on one of my Fuuta analyses and yeah...
Part two of "Fuuta’s central theme is invasion of privacy and he has extreme anxiety over being watched, so it's interesting that we get to pick him apart and see all his worst, most private thoughts" :(
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#i didnt want to be annoying with a tag but thank you trinipopkt for the original tag :3#ive never posted something like this so let me know if i need to tag anything#my writing brain may be struggling rn but you can bet im still over here drawing fuuta 😅👍#part one was the lil moodboard on main#this also had slight oc connections (my brain was going brrr having a scientist oc) but once again its general to the audience overall#plus i was really proud of the composition/posing/colors i switched to -- i was excited to share!!#it took me like 80 years to pick a composition/pose that worked asdfsadsg#and i had to redo all my coloring and shading because i wanted a more neutral sterile science look than what i originally had#anyway it wasnt my usual type of drawing so it was a lot of fun to see it come together!#i did the first version and my partner said it was mean (and against procedure) to keep him awake#but then the second version felt equally mean :(((( so in conclusion rip fuuta#he is my little bug and i am going to figure out what makes him tick
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my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator
#rei#volo#cheren#// tikposting#// character meta#the crowd booes me off the stage#forgive the pun XDDD his name is too easy to pun on#the way i write it it's not a conscious choice. it's just how the pov character (rei) experiences and contextualises the world#revealing backstory and personality and mindset through narration !!!!#not necessarily out of malice it's just. how he views things#interpreting new and foreign experiences through the lens of what came before...#conversations which read differently to different people.#in the context of rei that's stuff like unease around authority figures#always choosing his words carefully to project an image of competence (he has to be needed)#distrust and not taking things at face value but also paradoxically a fragile and nurtured sense of almost blind optimism#when it comes to friendships. like volo. (everyone turned on me when the sky turned red but it all resolved itself in the end didn't it?)#(what makes this different? / a lot of things. / i choose to believe)#volo [directly]: “i won't be stopped from my goal” rei thoughts: we can work with this!!!!#and everything with Arceus too and his divine blessings and a plan that will work out in the end#if Rei can just... figure out what part he's meant to play. interpreting events as a narrative hurtling towards some unknown conclusion#i am talking about rei here specifically but this writing device is so good in general#would be fun to try get inside volo's head. there's so much going on there i don't understand yet#quite fond of that one analysis post about how volo lacks emotional intelligence and sees relationships as transactions#not necessarily out of malice it's just how he views things. whether because of past experience or brain chemistry#also need to give a shout to cheren my guy who is an outsider pov who projects his own experiences onto new things so that he Understands#(an outsider to Hilbert and N's clash of truth and ideals. life changing experience and knowledge but felt just a little off to the left)#(the narrative repeated again with new heroes. all he can do is help them but it falls on their shoulders in the end)#(no wonder he tries to insert himself into Situations)#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD#rei pokemon
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#maxnat#max kornthas#nat natasitt#i have dumb jokes to make. as is my brand. but i wanted this alone because its genuinely very sweet#i feel like. in general there needs to be more flexibility with couple pairings but#theyre an example of one that really works. theyve had time to grow into one another.#i also feel like the age gap works for them. they even each other out. nat jelped max mature and max took care of him#also the ambiguity of that statement “weve been together” like yes you could use it for delulu as is your right#but it also just says a lot about their friendship. like. not together as a pair just together. they do everything together.#now i need to go find that cap of nat explaining the cherry thing “they always come in pairs”
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Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent
Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people
#obviously it's always funny to do the whole 'what do u have there Damian?' 'a knife!' 'nO' thing#and like make him a horrendous and silly evil gremlin who can and will pull a sword out in the middle of a parking lot to fight#but listen#he doesn't like the assassin background that much and once he learns about like The Normal World he's honestly in anguish about it#that's canon! that's the truth! (right?) (the whole thing with Goliath?? I'm not making it up right???)#i think he's just the kind of guy who loves his swords because they're what he knows and they're a strong connection to his family#but I think it's nice if he spends his time on field telling others what to do because everyone else learned to fight the OTHER way#(by defending and subduing opponents rather than maiming and killing)#so he prefers to take on a tactician general role despite being perfectly capable as a fighter because he knows what everyone else needs#to do to succeed in fights - especially when things are a bit of a mess - but is afraid to be too rough or scary or violent or Demon Son-is#(the things that make him feel like he doesn't belong in a happy civilian world - WHICH IS WHAT HE WANTS IN MY HUMBLE OPINION.)#in this essay I will explain why this allows for him to show awe and love for each of his siblings' fight styles by utilising all of them#and I just think Dami Babs and Tim could really work together as a detective/tactician comms team (with varying distances from the field)#because I think that'd be so fun: Tim is solving (mid-range) Babs is watching/providing supports (far) and Damian is commanding (close)#because the others are like The Bruisers (in their non-lethal way) who trust themselves to only hurt as much as is needed and are good at i#PLUS babs is SO stretched thin and literally the backbone of the bats so I just want a future where some of the kids become HER robins yk#anyway back to the point of the post:#it's kind of alluded to in 2017 supersons; EVERYONE in it comments on how Robin is JUST doing flips and shouting orders#and jon is like The Muscle and the one Doing Stuff - but Jon IS following orders 85% of the time and it works out well for them because#that dynamic of 'I'm not sure I can do it right by myself and I trust you to be my partner so we can do it right together' really#is my favourite like.. they're both filling these ideas of who they're meant to be and they just :( they just seek their own path together#oh no I lost the point again immediately and it became another WHY DO THEY SEPARATE THEM rant#I just think it's really fun to think of Damian as 'the most well trained fighter but ALSO the most likely to step back from a fight'#like yeah when we add in my thoughts on pit rage it adds some angst but that doesn't matter here in THIS post#have I even talked about my hc on pit rage/madness? I don't think I have LMAO (maybe another day)#anyway it's late I'm tired why do I always chat in the tags so much#my posts are literally all in the tags 2% post 98% tags smh#damian wayne#damian al ghul#damian al ghul wayne
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Been a minute since I've been able to draw or even post anything. And that's cuz I've been busy af with a job that's been slowly killing me for the last 8 months. But it's all good; I'm actually leaving that shithole at the end of the week. Yay! Maybe that means I can open up commissions again since I'll actually have time for them? Who's to say...
Anyway! Had a rough weekend at Fan Expo Chicago last week, and I've kinda had this in mind to draw ever since my disappointing interaction with Neil Newbon. He was very nice, but it felt pretty clear that he only really cared about Astarion. And, like, to a degree I get it? Astarion seems like a cool character that means a lot to a lot of people, but to act like no one cares anymore about Resident Evil Village cuz it's an "older game" (his words, not mine), kinda killed my mood for the weekend. Not to mention coming back with COVID. That was also a bummer...
*I* still love Heisenberg, at least. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. ❤️🩹
#scammy art#scammy talks too much#shut up scammy chan#con venting#resident evil village#resident evil 8#karl heisenberg#karl heisenburg fanart#self indulgent#neil newbon#mostly just needed to get out the sad feels#I could go on about this weekend#worst con I've ever attended#spent the majority of the weekend in tears#and not of joy#also I don't dislike Neil or think less of him#this is just me dealing with my own disappointment#Neil was otherwise very nice and stuck around well after the con hall closed to make sure he got through everyone#I just think it's sad that he only really cared to engage with this one character#he didn't even have any prints of other characters outside of a general RE print of all the characters he'd done#and honestly I'm also just...kinda sad he didn't like the little Heisenberg plush I'd made...#I know how stupid that sounds but I worked hard on that and it meant a lot to me#and people in line were all excited by it#so to hear Neil be all not interested was just...kind've a bummer...#so yeah...just...in my feelings a lot lately and needed to get it out...#also drew Heisenberg in a way I don't hate for once and I wanted to share that much at least
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Fun note of the specific pronoun situation with the translation errors between Wasp and Bugnish: under normal circumstances, Jayde would get automatically assigned he/him in Bugnish, since she uses the standard "non-queen social bug" pronouns that roughly 95% of the Wasp Hive do, which get translated to drone pronouns in Bugnish due to a roughly century-old miscommunication. She gets assigned worker pronouns in Bugnish specifically because those are what Kabbu defaults to with social bugs, and other people picked it up from him during introductions. This Will Be A Point Of Confusion For Her Whenever She Asks About It.
#we speak#headcanons#conlang#anyways. fun fact the house's pronouns get jiggled around a lot more than it/its vi and they/them kabbu. jayde is a he now#hes still a worker this is just how bugnish has settled on translating wild swamplands pronouns#for related reasons “nonsocial bug” when translated from Wasp to Bugnish will become worker pronouns#queen is still queen though#we still need to work out what neopronouns we want to sub in for queen pronouns. or if we want to sub worker for a neopronoun#unfortunately we can't just write in conlang and expect people to understand it#our translation setup to english is still very weird#whenever we get to let zbt-159 interact with out of colony bugnish speakers they might get she/herred just because#yknow. we are already translating workergender as she/her.#bug fables#theres enough language barrier and weird interpretation that character pronouns will change from perspective to perspective#she/her in wasp pov because wasp kingdom socialbuggender is still technically a worker gender#he/him in everyone else's pov because the wasp queen's drones and generals use the same pronouns and some scribes got very confused#it prioritizes drone because that's Technically the higher rank and thus the one to use to avoid offence from guests#but drones don't realistically have much station so it's sort of like calling the entire wasp kingdom except for the queen manwhores
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happy birthday to meeee~ ヘ( ̄ω ̄ヘ)
#i have a lot of schmoopy feelings about this year#it started off as one the worst times of my life#but then somehow it morphed into the absolute best#i have a lot of appreciation and joy that i feel for a lot of people now that i feel like i can't adequately express#but i guess the point is i'm actually excited for the future for the first time in years#and i feel like i wouldn't have stumbled down this path if it hadn't been for the encouragement i got from people when i really needed it#i've been really inspired to work at improving my art and to be more open about it#i tried a lot of new things#not just artistically but in general#i'm happy i'm here! and i intend to keep being here and to keep making things that bring me joy.#weird weird things. i intend to get weirder and weirder hehehe. hope y'all are prepared! >:D#so to anyone who said anything nice about my art and writing since i've been here#i know it sounds schmaltzy but the stuff you said meant more than you know. thank you for letting me know you saw me.
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