#no matter how specific I make my searches for them online

[waywardstation]

I'm too much of a nervous bean to reach out not anonymously. But I wanted to say that your stories are my favorite iterations of Ingo and Akari and are what sucked me fully into submas. So thankyou and I look forward to seeing everything you come out with 😊

AHH thank you kind anon!!! ;w; <3 that means so much to me!! I’m also looking forward to getting more out!! I have so much I want to get out. I realize most of my writings that have most solidified how I currently write their dynamics are still not out yet. I have so much to get out and the most important parts of them I realize still are not public, so people can’t see the characters how I currently headcanon them.

I haven’t even posted anything yet that sets up the AU I’ve developed around them. It’s called Savepoint AU and it’s been in my head since 2023, regarding the tags I left in this post.

It’s very important to the narrative leading up to everything in I Won’t leave You Behind, but I feel I cannot post about it until I get Rain Check and its accompanying sequel Entropy Syndrome out. One group of people knows a little about it and has seen art related to it but that’s it haha.

ANYWAYS these are where Ingo and Akari’s dynamics really shine and I am hoping I can pull it together enough soon to be satisfied with the smaller details and get it out. I don’t want to rush it or I know it’ll bug me forever, as I feel that way about some stuff in HFBE haha. (DW I will fix these eventually)

Once again thank you anon!!! I’m so happy you like my work specifically, and I’m looking forward to getting more out!

[harmoonix]

Peaceful astro observations

~ Hakuna Matata ~ No worries ~

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🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

▫️☘▫️Venus - Moon aspects can be very sacrificial, doesn't matter what relationship they are, friends or lovers they tend to give everything to them and they can end up hurt most times 🖤

▫️☘▫️Venus in the 11th house/Aquarius can be very protective of their friends, and being posesive around them it can happen very often, is not always a bad thing is just their mechanism

▫️☘▫️Venus in Aquarius Degrees [11°, 23°] the native can really have a unique fashion style and it can bring much attention from others because of their uniqueness, also meeting potential love partners in online can happen with those degrees

▫️☘▫️Mars/Venus in the 5th or 2nd house or in Taurus/Leo can make the native to have a very sensual personality, they are stunning while wearing gold or shinning colors and often giving luxurious vibes

▫️☘▫️Mars/Aries in the 3rd house/Gemini/Aries/Scorpio can really have a naughty mind, thinking about such things always and everywhere, sometimes it can happen so randomly and is scary

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Moon/Pluto - Moon aspects tend to be extremely protective of the people they love, they are always caring and sharing their love but not always recieving those things back, and that is making them sad

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Why, why can't this moment last forevermore?

Tonight, tonight eternity's an open door

No, don't ever stop doing the things you do

Don't go, in every breath I take, I'm breathing you

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▫️☘▫️Jupiter and Neptune aspects tend to have this interested side of them being attracted to mysticism, and always being the search for new things related to spiritually/mysticism

▫️☘▫️Uranus and Pluto aspects make the native to be very wise and determined yet still discovering something new about themselves everyday, is like they learn something new but in the same time collecting moments of knowledge

▫️☘▫️Saturn - Ascendant aspects just have this *body goal*, their bone structure might be really strong and very prominent in case you go at gym and have these aspects your muscles can appear slower but it will be good in the end they will look amazing

▫️☘▫️Venus in Pisces/12th house or aspecting Neptune can make the native to fall in love blindly sometimes, they can create this fake illusion about their specific person, most times they can fall in love with people who will hurt them but because of their thoughts they think will think everything is fine with their specific person [I'm not saying everyone with those placements happen to have these but it can happen to many to fall in love blindly with dangerous people] {Venus and Neptune in minor aspects can aswell have this }

▫️☘▫️Neptune in the 1st house or Neptune aspecting the ascendant can absorb people's energy often and that can cause them to have a spiritual attack, like when you go on street and you feel sad and draining energies around you is because you can absorb them so always protect yourself from bad energies

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How can we not talk about family when family's all that we got?

Everything I went through, you were standing there by my side

And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

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▫️☘▫️Mercury in Earth degrees [2°, 6°, 10°, 14°, 18°, 22°] can have a good voice and can possess singing abilities/talents, they can really maintain their voices at high levels and have a good control upon that

▫️☘▫️Pisces and Aquarius Risings repsent the kids of the space, this influence can bring them so many questions about space, sky, galaxies etc... And can often get lost in their head thinking about "What if there is more than earth 🌎"

▫️☘▫️Neptune/Jupiter - Mars aspects in tight degrees can make the native to have hypersexuality energy in them, and being into this part of taboo. They can also be curious about those things and happy to learn about it

▫️☘▫️Natives with Sun/Moon or Mars in the 9th house have really strong beliefs and is very hard to change their mind about something they believe in, you can rather stay quiet than opening a subject these natives believe in

▫️☘▫️Moon in Virgo/6th house tend to worry about a lot of things and having this type of "overthinking" even in a relationship it cause them to fight often because of these, i know it can be hard but remember that you are very strong and you can beat these thoughts who make you to worry about bad things 💖

▫️☘▫️Virgo placements have also an obsession with cleaning, they can see literally every single little thing that falls on the floor, and they will clean it because these natives really like it to be clean, stress can happen if they don't clean or work

▫️☘▫️Aries/Scorpio/Aquarius and Gemini in the 7th/11th houses are the people who really get into very different relationships every time, every new person they met has something different than the other

▫️☘▫️Juno in Aquarius/Aries/Scorpio and Leo can get possesive spouses, especially when they wanna hang out with someone, their spouses can get jealous easily aswell is because of their 11th, 1st, 8th and 5th houses energeies

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 [Splendor Asteroid related to beauty] in aspects with the Sun or Moon can make the native naturally beautiful and charming

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 making an aspect with Uranus can make the natives beauty unique and different than others, the native can have something special about their appearance and personality

▫️☘▫️Asteroid Aglaja 47 aspecting Mercury or in the 3rd house, the native can have a very beautiful voice and the way the native put works together makes the native beautiful

▫️☘▫️ Natal Sun in the 12th house/Sun in Pisces natives have this charm upon them since they were born, the native always felt to have a connection apart with nature/animals this is giving highly empath person

▫️☘▫️Moon in the 8th house or aspecting Pluto can experience grief very painfully, is usually and indicator of pain when grief happens ❤️😭

▫️☘▫️ Mars in the 3rd/7th/11th houses can experience to argue with their friends/siblings/partners often because of the things that can happen between you

▫️☘▫️ Venus in the 10th/11th houses are world appealing, let's say that a lot of people can like you and can influence you in this time

▫️☘▫️Uranus in the 10th & 6th houses can change their jobs often due to their thoughts about others jobs or purely finding a better job at some point

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The theme for this post was inspired from Avatar😍😍😍, i loved the both 2 movies so much and it was such an inspiration to make a post with the whole Sully Family (atwow fans will know what I'm talking about 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Here some peaceful notes for y'all 😍🙏🏼 hope you will like it ✈️🌊

Make sure to give yourself the best treatment and to love yourself the most! That's very important for everyone 🌟💁🏻‍♀️🥰

Have a happy Thursday everyone!🥰 Much love to everyone reading my notes 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[hongssimi]

naruto running // lee sohee

ᝰ synopsis .ᐟ you were stunned. it was definitely your fault for assuming your online friend was a girl. for god’s sake, naruto’s a shonen anime, an animated show marketed to boys and men. but it wasn’t completely your fault too. i mean, sohee never clarified to you that he was a dude either.

ᝰ pairing .ᐟ fanboy!sohee x fangirl!reader

ᝰ genre .ᐟ crack // written & smau

ᝰ word count .ᐟ 0.9k+ (text only)

ᝰ warning .ᐟ please practice stranger danger, second-hand embarrassment moments, mentions of dicks, dirty jokes, and sugar daddy/sugar baby relationship

ᝰ author's note .ᐟ happy birthday to my favourite naruto fanboy lee ddori<3 this fic was inspired by sohee’s obsession with naruto and that one time he went to the naruto exhibition in korea… also the fact i have to specifically search "riize sohee" online for his photos because sometimes other sohees appear instead and they're all girls lmao

you were truly excited. you hadn’t met an online friend in so long, especially one that was in the naruto fandom, and lived in seoul. your friends in the fandom were mostly girls from other provinces, and the ones that were from seoul were all busy corporate slaves, so you barely got to meet them.

"you know how i look like… right?" you texted sohee.

"yeah ok i’m coming hold on"

"that’s what she said"

of course, you being you, you had to make a dirty joke when presented with the opportunity.

you were curious how sohee looked like. it was the first time you were meeting her, after being friends for about three months. you became friends with sohee since she first joined the fandom on twitter. she’d never posted her photos on twitter, which meant that you knew nothing about her facial features – except that she once mentioned she had four or five moles on her left cheek, and that her twitter profile photo was of her eyes.

she’s probably pretty, right?

i remember she told me that she studies applied music in university so maybe she can sing? if we end early, we can go sing at the karaoke after the exhibition too!

waiting for sohee, you imagined she was someone with a cute face but sharp jawline, a pretty smile, and long luscious hair – until she stood in front of you calling your name.

“y/n?”

you lost your train of thoughts as soon as you saw her.

she was a he.

you were stunned.

“you’re y/n, right? i’m sohee,” a handsome guy wearing a gray beanie and a track jacket stood in front of you, taking off his white mask.

“you’re sohee? user soheeruto?”

he nodded to your questions, asking you afterwards if you were okay as you had your mouth left agape. it was definitely your fault for assuming your online friend was a girl. sohee was such a feminine-sounding name, and was a name mostly used by girls.

you stood up and ran to the restaurant washroom, which was a few tables away from your table.

it wasn’t completely your fault, was it?

“um... hi?” you peeked out of the washroom door and slowly walked to your table and greeted him.

“was i that scary?”

“no, it’s just… i was shocked. i thought you were a girl because-”

“you thought i was a girl?”

“well i mean – you didn’t even correct me every time i texted you with feminine terms! and your name! sohee! it’s technically a name that leaned more towards girls!”

“okay, okay, calm down. can we order food first and then i’ll explain my… um, lore?”

as it turned out, it was indeed, not completely your fault. although sohee hadn’t put his pronouns in his profile or explicitly mentioned he was a dude, his profile biography wrote “naruto-loving shonen (i like sasuke more though)”, which he thought mentioning ‘shonen’ was sufficient in specifying his gender. though, gender didn’t matter much to him when making friends, as long as it was someone who enjoyed watching naruto. he was also used to being misgendered from just his name — which was socially known as a more feminine name — because he just didn’t care enough to correct unless he absolutely needed to.

“this steakhouse’s steak bussin’ though.”

“right? i always come here whenever i crave for steak, it hits every time,” you replied sohee.

“but do you normally naruto run – or did i just shock you too much for being a dude?”

“shut up, let’s go to the exhibition,” you got up to pay for the meal for the both of you, before exiting the store with sohee, as repayment for him paying your exhibition tickets.

“sohee, turn around and pose!”

the both of you were on an escalator heading towards the entrance of the exhibition, when you asked sohee to turn around so that you could snap a picture of him – that you sent after through the file sharing function on your phones. he returned the favor after by taking your phone to snap a photo, asking you to pose with the sign at the entrance. the both of you had so much fun looking at the exhibition, recalling episodes of the anime as you walked through each section.

as attendees, you had complimentary photo booth passes, which you chose to take yours with sohee while his own was a solo shot. it didn’t really matter to you if you didn’t have a photo booth of just yourself with the naruto exhibition frame compared to a photo with sohee for your first meeting.

sorry to everyone, but i’m gatekeeping my photo with sohee from the rest of the world.

“y/n, wait. i want a photo at this wall,” sohee asks right before the exit of the exhibition, unlocking his phone and opening the camera application, before passing it to you – which you found to be a weird habit he had as he could’ve accessed the camera app without unlocking his phone, but to each his own.

“thanks for today, y/n. it was really fun.”

you nodded and smiled at sohee, agreeing that your first meeting with the gray beanie boy was fun. the both of you took so long in the exhibition, enjoying every bit of it. you documented everything for memories’ sake, not realising sohee took a photo of you in the midst of it until he had sent it to you on twitter after parting ways.

✶⋆.˚꩜ AFTERTHOUGHTS .ᐟ˙⋆✶ not the author and seunghan cousin insert at the end lmaooo anyways hope you enjoyed this abomination of a fic... i don’t even know what i was on to have written this but it barely has anything to do with naruto besides the exhibition being a plot device

✶⋆.˚꩜ PERMANENT RII7E TAGLIST .ᐟ˙⋆✶

do not repost works © hongssimi

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Hiya sex witch

Hope ur having a good one!

I have a sexual health question. Im 28yo M and am as far as i am aware overall healthy, but sometimes i have trouble orgasming during sex, but rarely during masturbation. Im aware that contrary to popular belief men dont always orgasm 100% of the time and that there is nothing wrong with having difficulty with "keeping it up" so long as its not health related (i dont usually have difficulty with this part specifically, i just feel from experience that some times this is forgotten among people so i wanted to mention that)

I enjoy sex with my partners and im mentally very in the mood for it! Im not really nervous and havent felt pressured with them but some times it takes a very long time for me to finish, like more that 1.5 hours and up to 2 or 3 one time, and understandably my partners dont usually want to go that long lol i also find it frustrating because i feel the need around the 30-40minute mark but like i dont get that final push if that makes sense?

I did online searching and most answers are kinda wishy washy about causes other than excess masturbation, ive cut down on masturbation because alot of places say that that can be a cause but i only masturbated like once or twice a week and now im down to twice a month but it still happens.

Ive also heard that a too tight circumcision can lead to desensitisation and is what im kinda thinking this might be, i was circumcised at birth and have what the forskin restoration website ( www.restoringforeskin.org ) says is a RCI-0 or maybe RCI-1 which are considered super tight or tight respectively, both of which can lead to lack of sensation. And am considering maybe working on restoring my foreskin due to this, but i wanted your opinion on how like legit this all is considering it kinda sounds idk farfetched to me? Like being able to just stretch the skin back out with tape, is that even a thing? And does this sound like a possible cause?

Thanks for all your hard (no joke intended)'work and ur also awsome!

P.S. tumblr is being fucky on my phone all the time so if this is not anonymous please ignore/dm me to say make it anonymous again or whatever tanks

hi anon,

thank you so much for your question! it sounds like you've put a lot of thought into it already, and it was very interesting to read.

I have some hesitation in declaring that something is physically the matter with your penis, mainly because you mention that orgasm tends to come at a much more typical speed when you're masturbating. in the case of a physical problem I'd usually expect to see similar results whether you were having sex solo or partnered, which to me suggested it might be more of a mental/emotional blockage here?

but, having said that: I'm not a healthcare provider! and it sounds like a visit with one to discuss your observations might be really beneficial at this point.

while foreskin restoration is a thing, it's also a thing that doesn't have much research backing it up, and long-term results aren't very well known. consulting with a urologist before attempting a restoration sounds like it would be a great idea for you, as they could help confirm whether your foreskin is the problem and advise you on safely practicing restoration if it's an appropriate treatment. or, if that isn't the case, they're likely to have a much better idea about what else might be causing your situation.

best of luck!

[glowstickblood]

Sure I'll bite, what are your thoughts on Nightwing?

HOLY F U C K

You do not know what you have just done <3

So first of all, I was a teen titans kid: specifically StarFire. She was my home girl, she was an alien existence with strange customs and unique way of speaking and she was sweet and had trouble understanding others and I was obsessed. And…. She likes Robin, aka Dick Grayson, the OG.

Back then, Robin was cool but he wasn’t my favourite, but it was the first time I can really recall him catching my attention,, mostly because he had Kori’s attention and I loved Kori.

Honestly I didn’t really get into DC much. I was a Marvel prefereer for a while (<- lies, I just liked spider-man like literally everyone else) and though I had heard of the batfamily before in passing (an animation YouTuber I liked did some stuff for them once or twice) they didn’t mean much to me.

For me it was Batman and Robin,,,, and Robin was Dick Grayson.

I don’t really remember how it happened, but I do recall somewhere 2ish years ago that something prompted me to go searching for Nightwing’s Wikipedia page.

Now those of you NDs know what happens when something catches your attention in that oh-so-very-peak way and you enter what I like to call Stage 7.

I, no joke, read every single wiki article and post I could find anout Dick Grayson for 24 hours straight. I didn’t sleep, I barely ate, and I don’t remember anything other than the endless hunger for knowledge until I inevitably collapsed.

So,,, why?

Well honestly it’s rather complex!

I don’t talk too much about myself online, mostly because I don’t feel much of a need to, but I’m sure you can glean a few things: mostly that I’m a 1st gen immigrant with autism, asexuality and a enby identity (just like half the population on tumblr lmao) and that gave/gives me a whole cocktail of fun issues and perspectives of the world.

I’m not sure how much you know about Dick’s story or personality, but simplifying it down to a single sentence it would probably be this: An endlessly angry child has forged himself into a kind and charismatic hero for the sake of other people.

He is angry, and bitter and fighting so goddamn hard to be kind. He is overtly sexualised by people in-universe and in-fandom. He gives away all of himself even if he doesn’t realise he does. He is on a never ending journey to meet, match, and exceed the expectations placed upon him even to the detriment of himself and others. The bar grows ever higher.

People have an unconsciously bad habit of comparing ourselves to others and it is generally agreed upon that to live a healthy life you will have to spend the entire time fighting against that habit. The fight never ends as we never stop interacting with each other, but it does get easier with time. This pinprick point of tension is a core element of a lot of the stories told when it comes to Nightwing interacting with other characters, and a running theme throughout my own life.

For a very long time I competed against the world, against my family, against my friends, against the characters in stories I was told, basically everyone. I was the underdog, I was always fighting, and soon enough I was winning just as much as I was loosing. It was fun and it made me miserable because no matter how well I did the was always another person was better. I was never the best, I couldn’t be, and I hated myself for it… Until I realised the standards I held myself too so loudly and proudly started making my friends miserable too.

(To be honest I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop trying to raise the bar for myself higher, but I sure as hell know better than to make that other people’s problems. It’s an ongoing WIP against a very human flaw in myself, just as it is for Dick.)

Another element of his character that appeals to me is the anger; specifically that he is not seen as angry much anymore.

As a character his anger is justified. It is righteous even. The world took from him, hurt him, and continues to challenge him even now. He has every single reason to be bitter and full of rage,,, and he is! Except also no he isn’t.

The general current interpretation of Dick is as a playful and kind older brother figure.

He is flawed sure, but in a way that makes him more ‘approachable’. He is the comforting Robin; He’s the one you’d go to after a breakup to cry and eat ice cream or to go gush about your favourite hobbies to. He is the mediator of the batfamily, managing the emotions of both himself and others (especially Batman). The endless bright burning rage has been buried beneath a soft exterior, he has sanded down his own edges. He controls and seems to give away just enough to make him feel grounded, but never enough to feel like he’s truly known.

One of the worst part about growing older for me is how terribly easy it is to understand other people now. Rarely do the people who hurt us the worst want to do so, the villains of this world are seldom (if ever) people you meet in real life. It’s so fucking easy to hurt each other. It’s so fucking easy to blame people when they hurt you. To make monsters out of molehills.

And yet!

And yet…

I understand. I wish I didn’t, but I do. I am so very very angry, but my kindness is a thing with teeth I tamed with love, and it eats my anger for breakfast.

The way I love and he loves, in my mind, is the same. I understand and he understands in a way I want too, and it’s so easy to let people hurt us because of that. Depending on the version you’re reading of him, maybe that person who hurts him is a super villain, or a friend, or an obliviously obtuse civilian or even the batfamily and Batman himself (Spyral, WFA Joker arc, Grant Wilson, Tarantula, being Batman during the Bruce lost time-stream arc, all of Jason’s existence, etc.). Either way, same outcome: you love and care for people who hurt you and are flawed.

Nevertheless, Dick Grayson, aka Robin, aka Nightwing, has been around for more than 80 years now. His story has been told hundreds, thousands, millions of times. It’s been twisted and shifted and re-told all over again. And while his tenants core stays the same (save for a bad writer of course) he gets different lighting for every occasion. Playing and talking about him is more flexible in a way a lot of characters with a single cannon source (I.e. books and movies) are not. His existence gives me a lot of room to play and project.

He can be the good big brother, the proud leader, the angry teenager, the betrayed son, the beautiful idol, the grand hero, or any mask the story requires him to play. That flexibility is within the core of his very character. He loves, he is angry, he is so terribly inhuman in all the best ways he is not, and I love him because of that.

TLDR: He is relatable to me and I fuck with that <3

[rune-rambles-art]

Okay I have to yell about Koleda Belobog Zenless Zone Zero because I feel like I love her in a very specific way that I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about. More under the cut because I have,,, so many thoughts.

Koleda is such a good portrayal of someone who struggles with their perception as an adult. A pretty easy conclusion to make with the first thing she usually says on the character select screen being “Hey, don’t look down on me!”, but it definitely goes a lot deeper the more you spend time with her. Specifically, she seems to struggle in her perception of herself as someone much more mature than her younger peers, but still not on the same level as the adults in similar positions of power as her. I kinda. Hate zenless for not explicitly stating how old she is, but given she rose to her position at Belobog “when she came of age” (which honestly, I still can’t give a concrete answer to what hoyo means by this? Some searches I found claimed the working age to be 16 in China, I’ve seen others online claim 18 but that’s not reliable. Hoyo I'm begging you put official ages on your characters it's a cool and based practice), she waited for a significant amount of time before taking up her role as president. She is an adult from what the game implies, and a core part of her character is fighting against the constant infantilization she faces due to how she looks.

Let’s start with her love of desserts (and a honestly this is the reason I started writing this). It’s her most highlighted character trait (it is also the first known attribute in her trust rank profile when you unlock her), and most of her trust events on 6th street revolves around them. Initially, she hesitates in proclaiming her love for them, likely to avoid being perceived as childish.

Her rank 4 trust special event is, admittedly, my favorite, but it’s one of the best breakdowns of this.

In order to maintain her image as a mature adult, she uses her position as company president to get around having to request a special dessert drink by name (in her defense, "Sweet Girl Fluffy Marshmallow Lambkin Milk" is an insane mouthful of a product name). At the end of the event she admits that saying its name “wasn’t as bad as she thought”, but her initial kneejerk reaction was a complete rejection of even entertaining the idea of doing something that could put the image she worked so hard to create and maintain at risk. Despite this, she still refuses desserts that aren't tooth-rottingly sweet, even if they are seen as the more mature or "refined" option. It's only around people that she really trusts does she allow this part of herself to be known, because she knows they wouldn't misconstrue this behavior as childish.

I also think her perception on the differences between kids and adults is interesting ("thank you agent story quest" we all say in unison). She doesn't ever feel like she fits in with other kids, probably due to all the responsibility she had to take on as the eventual heir to her father's company. But she also holds a vocal distain for many of her adult peers. Her declaration of "When I was younger, I thought the whole world was rotten, trying to make people just as rotten when they grow up." is a reflection of how she struggled to find her place in the world as she was forced to suddenly transition into adulthood, while still trying to understand the actions of the adults around her.

Her relationship with her father becoming strained contributed significantly to her world outlook as well, and may have caused such a specific distinction of what she deems "the world of adults". I don't want to dive too specifically into that because spoilers and the game is only a few weeks old so. Pin that for another time maybe? It definitely matters in the sense that the loss of her father is the catalyst for the loss of her childhood, but a lot of the specifics in how that affected her are speculative (and I don't wanna get too headcanon-y in this particular post) and she explicitly chooses not to discuss it too in-depth with the proxy (which, girl. Valid). But she's slowly learning to cope with that loss, at least it seems that way by the end of chapter 3. Honestly I could probably find more to add about the agent story in particular, but I would have to replay it to get a better idea.

To me, Koleda Belobog is very solid representation for women who had to grow up too fast, struggle with the perception of being seen as an adult, and hold guilt about indulging in acts that can be perceived as childish by their peers because they never fully got the chance to just be a kid. It truly did resonate with me, and it feels like such a specific "if you know, you know" kind of experience that I don't feel is talked about as much in media, especially with people who identify as female during their youth.

Also, also! I hope they dive in a bit more on how she got/has so much hollow corruption at a young age. Because they imply that she is so short as a result of this hollow corruption. Like that's so damn interesting conceptually and I know they delved on it more in Rina's agent story but. It was more of a mental affliction than a physical one.

Anyway I've been working on this for like 2 days now but that's all I have in terms of like. A canon-compliant character analysis.

TLDR; Koleda is such a perfect example of "God forbid short women exist" and I love her for that. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[writingquestionsanswered]

I’ve been reading some craft books and online posts about the world building because my story is an urban fantasy set in present day US, in a fictional town, and theres not a secondary world where the fantasy happens, it’s all in the real world, except the magic is a secret that only certain people know about, but all of the resources I find about world building only talk about fantastical worlds that exist by themselves and not the kind of more subtle world building that I’d have to do. Do you have any tips?

Guide: Creating a Fictional Town in the Real World

Step 1 - Choose Your Location - There are two ways to go about choosing a location for your fictional town. One is to go the "Springfield U.S.A." route, ala The Simpsons, and be vague about the specific location (borough, parish, district, county, region, state, or province) and instead give a broader geographic region... "the East Coast," "the Pacific Northwest," "Central Canada," Northern Scotland," etc. The other option is to go ahead and put your fictional town in a specific location. Just figure out where (for example, somewhere outside of Des Moines, Iowa) and go to Google Maps, click on satellite view, then start zooming in on big empty areas. Choose a place big enough to fit a town. Yes, in reality it's probably farm fields, pasture, or someone's property, but that doesn't matter. You don't have to actually show it on a map. It's just a plausible spot to build your town. Now you can measure how far it is to other places, you know what highways to take to get to it. You can even do street view to get the lay of the land, see what the landscape looks like and try to envision the buildings there. You can also use what's there to create parks, popular recreational areas, and anything else your town needs.

Step 2 - Choose Your Inspiration - Even when you're creating a fictional town, it's still a good idea to use a real town (or two, or three) from that general area as inspiration for your town. For a fictional town in Des Moines, I would zoom in on the map to find a nearby town of similar size... like Elkhart, then I can take a look around to see what it's like. Just looking at the map, I can see they have a couple of churches, a couple baseball fields, a very small main street/downtown area with a couple shops and restaurants, a post office, a few different neighborhoods, and a cemetery. This would be a great model for a small fictional town outside of Des Moines. And, as I said, you could look at a couple other sand combine them. Once you have your inspiration town/s, you can walk around on Google Maps street view, go to the town's web site, watch a tour on YouTube (if one exists), or look up pictures in Google Image search.

Step 3 - Start Planning - This is the really fun part! First, you might want to draw a basic map of your fictional town using your inspiration town/s as a guide. This doesn't have to be a pretty map... just a basic line drawing to help you envision where everything is. Think about some of the basic things this town might have, like the ones I listed in step two, and any other things you might want your town to have, like maybe a library, a hospital, a city hall, school, and maybe a movie theater. It might even be helpful and fun to put together a collage of pictures to represent your town so you've got something in mind as you write about it. You can even choose representatives for specific locations in your story, like your MC's house, school, and their favorite hangout.

Step 4 - Naming Your Town - Start by looking at the kinds of town names that surround your town. Look for common naming conventions... suffixes like -ton, -ville, -dale, -burg, -wood, -field, etc. Words in a particular language, like a lot of French-inspired town names, or towns with geographical terms (lake, hill, valley, river, canyon, gap, etc.) My guide to Naming Locations has additional tips.

Step 5 - Populate Your Town and Give it a History - Last but not least, make up a little history for your town, again, using surrounding towns as inspiration. Who founded it? When was it founded? What's the town's main industry? What are the people like in this town? What jobs do they have? What do they do for fun?

Here are some other posts that might help:

Five Things to Help You Describe Fictional Locations Setting Your Story in an Unfamiliar Place WQA’s Guide to Internet Research Happy writing!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[agirlwithglam]

how to develop self love and confidence

— a step by step guide by yours truly ♥

disclaimer!! for some people it can take a lot longer to love themselves than others, so don't be discouraged if it takes a bit longer. just remember that no matter what you think, you ARE WORTHY OF LOVE.

step 1: identifying the root cause

first you need to find WHY you dont love yourself. it usually comes down to these main reasons:

society

your looks

comparison

your abilities

childhood trauma

your current situations

it can be just one or more than one, and sometimes it may not be as simple as "my looks", sometimes you may have to dig deeper.

for me, it was because i thought i was "ugly"

step 2: once you know the WHY, research about the topic and try and solve it.

here ive broken down the 6 reasons to help you a bit: (but remember that this is just a small break down, if you want you can research more about the topic & try to battle it)

society: society has tricked us into believing that loving yourself is considered 'vain' or 'narcissistic'. let me tell you right now that THAT IS NOT TRUE. loving yourself is a basic necessity that everyone should have!!

your looks: this is something i struggled with for a loong time. remember that beauty is subjective!! bob could think that travis looks 'average' but Leo could think that travis looks absolutely gorgeous!! ☆ so how did i overcome this? i actually 'glowed up'. bc the main thing i didnt like was face- my teeth to be specific. so once i got braces, my teeth aligned and i started looking so much better. ☆ other struggles: ↴ for you if it may be acne, then you could start trying to take care of your skin better. or if its body image then if you reeeeally dont like it then literally just start working out. if you have the option to yet you still dont then dont complain. but remember that ALL BODIES ARE PERFECT. ★ another thing that helped me a lot was affirmations! i listened to a bunch of affirmations -> i used this video by thewizardliz and it did wonders! (you can also search up on yt self-love/ beauty affirmations)

comparison: for most people comparison comes from social media right? the simple solution to this would be unfollow accounts that dont serve you, or delete/ set a time limit on the social media platform "but what if i compare myself to people i meet in real life?" well we can't exactly unfollow or delete these people but what we can do is turn that jealousy (yes, jealousy) into inspiration! be inspired by the people with greater lives and use that to pull yourself forward! ☆ a quote that i read once (that may or may not help you) : "do not compare your chapter 1 to someone else's chapter 50." you never know what the other person has gone through or is going through that got them to this point!

your abilities: okay theres not much i can say here except that you can learn almost everything online nowadays. stop complaining and get off your lazy butt to prove to yourself just how much potential you have! (but don't beat yourself up for being a lazy butt, im one as well) here is a link to a TON of stuff you can learn online!

childhood trauma: this is a bit of a more delicate subject which i do not know a lot on, my best suggestion would be to just go to therapy (or use an online therapy app- betterhelp). - watching thewizardliz may help as well as she might know more about the topic.

your current situation: whether its trouble with friends, at school, at work, or with family i promise you that these things do not last forever. humans were not put on earth to be unhappy and miserable! (whats the point in that?) my advice is to learn more about the topic (for ex i was struggling with being left out w friends for a while and it did hurt a bit) and see what you can do to fix it or at least make the best out of it. + another reminder that you can use the law of assumption- in basic words the law states that whatever you desire, you have. all you need to do is accept that. heres a quote i read: "if you dont like where you are,, then move. you aint a tree." this is literally YOUR life. RESPECT yourself and dont let people treat you bad because that is disrespecting yourself!

step 3: focus on yourself!!

my favourite step!!

this is your sign to stop focussing on others' lives and start focussing on your own.

when you start to focus on yourself, up level yourself and try to become your best version of yourself, you actually end up falling in love with that version of yourself, and your current version!

ask yourself: is there even something to love?

ask yourself: would you want to date or be friends with someone like you? think actually deep about this; if your answer is no, then that obviously means that there is some work to do.

if you're constantly negative and complaining and rude all the time, trust me, literally no ones gonna want to hang out with you. and then you'll adopt that 'victim mindset' of "nobody likes me and i suck". instead of doing that, why dont you try to just suck a bit less? there isn't any pressure on you to become amazing the next day, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try.

small things/habits to start:

gratitude

hydration

exercising

journalling

meditation

eating healthy

developing a skill

get enough sleep

take cold showers

taking care of your skin

invest in your appearance

focussing on school/ your grades

go outside! go for walks, be in nature!

changing what you consume (resources below)

some resources that helped me SO MUCH:

♡ thewizardliz

♡ tam kaur

♡ persephone's mind

and meditation! its so extremely underated but SO VALUABLE.

xoxo, vanilla

[tropetember]

[Image description. Image reads “Tropetember”, in the background, a picture of a mug placed on an open book in front of a blanket invokes a cozy feel. End id] Thanks to @supericelight​ for the image description!

We’ve tried to answer as many common questions as possible below, but if there’s anything else you want to know, our ask box is open.

How do I post my work to the Tropetember AO3 Collection?

When you go to post a new work in AO3, there will be a section that says ‘Post to Collections / Challenges’. In the field next to it, type ‘Tropetember 2024’.

Do I have to post my work to AO3, or can I just post it to Tumblr, or a different site?

You can post your work wherever you like! As long as you make a submission through our Submissions form, or mention us @tropetember in your own post including either the link to wherever the fanwork is hosted, OR the text of the fic, we will post it.

You can also post only to the AO3 collection if you don’t want your work on Tumblr.

How do I tag/format my submission to the blog?

The most important thing is to check the box for #R-tropetember if your fic is NS/ FW (AO3 rating of M or E).

You can also choose from the other checkboxes to tag your work, but please make sure to use these responsibly and correctly! For example, don’t check all of the different types of media unless your work genuinely falls under these categories. Each submission needs to be individually checked and posted by the mods, so please don’t make our job harder - we’re already putting in many hours of work!

Incorrectly tagged works will have all nonessential tags removed and will therefore not show up in the search results.

Please make sure to include your fic’s TITLE, TROPE & SHIP (if applicable). For ship fics, the commonly accepted ship name (main ship only) should be included in brackets after the title, if you know it, and also the main trope/prompt(s) you used in the fic.  Any further courtesy or content warnings are appreciated, but not required.

What do I do if my submission isn’t posted?

Give us 24 hrs to post your submission - both of us work, so we aren’t always online. If it’s been longer than that, it’s either Tumblr screwiness or human error, so please do send us a message or ask so we can check we received it. We want to post all your submissions!

What kinds of fanworks are allowed?

Anything and everything! You can post fic, art, craft, fanvids, playlists, original music, audio, or whatever you like, as long as it fits a trope.

Can I skip some days?

Absolutely. You can do as many or as few days as you wish.

Why are there multiple prompts listed for each day? Do I have to combine them, or can I just pick a single one?

We listed various prompts for each day to give everyone as much choice as possible. You definitely aren’t expected to combine them (but you can if you want!).

Is Tropetember open to any fandom, character or ship?

Yes, it is! Feel free to create content for whichever fandom you want, including crossovers.

What if I miss the day for the prompt I want to do? Can I do the prompts out of order?

It doesn’t matter if you miss the specific day - please go ahead and write the prompt that caught your eye! Feel free to do any of the prompts on any day of September.

What if I’m late and don’t finish before the end of September?

We’ll be allowing late entries for one week after September 30th. If you miss that deadline, the AO3 collection will remain open until the one for next year is up and you can still post your works there.

Can the fills for the prompts be a new chapter of an existing fic, or part of an existing series?

Yes, that’s fine with us. Go ahead!

Can I combine the prompts with another event or bingo?

Absolutely!

Will you reblog NS/FW or controversial material?

Yes, in general we will. However, anything NS/FW or particularly controversial will be tagged with 'R-tropetember’ at the mods’ discretion. Please make sure to block this tag if you don’t want to see NS/FW content.

We will also attempt to tag works with any other relevant tags for blocking, including the ship name if possible. However, we won’t necessarily read all works ourselves, so we won’t be able to tag for all work content. Please heed the AO3 tags.

Remember the first rule of fandom: ship and let ship. :)

Why do you post and reply at strange times?

We don’t live in the USA, so our time zones are different. :) One of us is European and the other is Australian.

What’s with #27, “gay panic”? Isn’t that a discriminatory legal defence that allows for hate crimes against LGBTQIA+ people?

We (the mods) are both members of the LGBT+ community and we are very much aware of our gay history and the way this term has been used against people like ourselves. However, this phrase has a history of being thoroughly reclaimed by fanfic authors, with use dating back well prior to our own entry into fandom (and we’re old enough to remember the days of Livejournal, Wordpress and Fanfiction.net!) Feeling an initial sense of panic over one’s sexuality is something that is highly relatable to most people in the LGBTQIA+ community and that most of us have experienced, and the use of the phrase “Gay Panic” to describe a crisis of sexuality is part of our intertwined communities’ history.

~

Welcome to Tropetember!

Tropetember Prompt List

Tropetember Hard Mode Prompt List

[nipuni]

im sure you get this question all the time but how do you go about procuring those amazing outfits? do you thrift, get things tailored, make items yourself? do you buy things as you go or do you search for specific items one at the time? it's just that id love to have a style like yours (but masc haha) and i always wonder how you do it because i wouldn't know where to get clothes such as you wear anywhere, let alone for a price i can afford. and also, now im here, thank you for your amazing art, it always brightens my day when you post <3

Hello! 🥰 I collect pieces from different places that I feel fit the aesthetic I created for myself, kind of like character design, and I stick to certain silhouettes and color palettes that I already know I will feel comfortable in.

In my case I go for structured pieces instead of flowy draping ones, plain colors over patterns unless it's straight lines, earth and jewel tones on the warmer and muted side, medium height heels, gold over silver, etc. All of this makes for safe purchases for me no matter the store or outfit

Most of my clothes I buy from the historical reproduction shops I list under my posts ( I made a list some time ago here and also in the tags of each post as well as in my Instagram )

Some of these shops are on the more expensive side but offer custom tailoring which is ideal and a must for me because I'm built weird 😅 so I try to get my staple pieces there and plan the whole outfit around it before purchasing.

Then you can get the basic pieces to complete the looks from regular stores! stuff like plain shirts and trousers I usually get from places like Zara

I also thrift at curated stores which makes it easier to find interesting pieces (Edwardian revival from the 70's, capes, belts, handkerchiefs, scarves, bags and hats are some of the things I go for) I don't go with an outfit plan in mind for this, I just look around every once in a while and see what I can find and what I can do with it since it's usually very cheap too. I've also found that thrifting for masc clothes is way easier (at least where I live?) for some reason. I go antique shopping for accessories too, hats and pins from the 20's!!

Then the more specific and inexpensive stuff to tie the outfits together I get from aliexpress, (like the clock bags) and for blouses I also shop at lolita stores online sometimes

When it comes to planning outfits I just play dress up in front of the mirror like you see in the videos I make, I pull out a bunch of stuff from my closet and start matching. it helps me see what I'm missing or what colors would work best or which cut or fit creates an interesting look. It also helps you see and remember everything you have so when you are shopping or dressing up to go out you have this mental library and know whether something new will fit in with your wardrobe or not.

I also got a sewing machine some time ago and I'm teaching myself to sew! So far I've only fixed mine and my husband's clothes to make them fit but I'd love to move on to making my own clothes eventually!

I think that cultivating a personal style makes shopping for clothes easier and allows you to invest in pieces you know you will keep without fear of them going out of style and you don't feel the pressure to update your whole wardrobe every year. it's also super fun and has helped me build confidence and feel a lot more at peace with my appearance. I hope any of this helps you 😭 I rambled a lot I'll stop now!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! ❤️❤️❤️

[sophieinwonderland]

Episode 4 of Responding to the "Sophie is Dangerous Doc": On Genders and Slurs

If you haven't seen my other posts on this:

Episode 1 (Block Evasion Allegations) Episode 2 (All Tibetan Buddhists are Monks) Episode 3 (Survivor's Network) Episode 3.5 (Hate Groups)

Let's just get right into this!

First, just noting that I absolutely H*TE the culture online around censoring sl*rs where this is a t*rrible word nobody should say, BUT it's totally okay if you replace ONE vowel with an asterisk. Mostly because, when reading it in their heads, I'm certain most everyone is going to instantly read the slur as the slur, and it should be just as triggering to those who would be triggered by it. This isn't specifically an issue with the author but more collective st*pidity of the internet.

Here I went through the trouble of, after realizing I had messed up, to at least replace the whole word with "the T-slur" when all I needed to do was write "tr*nny." Silly me. (This is the only time I'll be writing it that way in this post. I just really need to illustrate how stupid I find this whole thing.)

This bare-minimum censorship while being outraged over saying a slur is just a tad too ridiculous to me to take seriously.

Context...

This came about during an argument with someone over the word endogenic. They were arguing, in essence, that because the word "endogenous" may have had vague ties to Freud fakeclaiming trauma, the word "endogenic" was bad because it's the same word.

My point was to illustrate how even if this was true and endogenous was offensive, two words can sound similar and have the same roots with similar literal meanings with one still being offensive and the other not. The example I gave was how trans/transgender are perfectly fine terms while the t-slur is bad despite both having the same roots and literal meanings. Connotations of specific words matter. Not just their roots.

I apologized after seeing how that affected people because I wasn't aware of the severity of the term.

Derogatory terms aren't all equal, and while there are certain pejoratives that you never should say, ever... others are generally acceptable in neutral contexts when not using them as an insult.

My mistake here was not being educated in which category this particular pejorative fell under.

On our gender...

A huge part of this narrative is the idea that I just suddenly for the first time ever decided to identify as genderfluid because I was under fire.

This is, like much of what is said in this document, completely false.

I had previously posted about how being a system with multiple genders makes our system's body more accurately described as genderfluid.

This post was back in August of 2022. Well before the slur discourse in May of 2023.

I believe there were other posts but they're hard to find because Tumblr searches are bad. (I used google to find this one.)

The idea that the body/system is technically genderfluid isn't something I invented out of thin air for that one discussion, but is something that had been on my mind for a long time, and something I had talked about before.

While I won't blame the author for not having an encyclopedic knowledge of every post I ever made. This is yet another instance of accusations and assertions without ever even bothering to confirm if they were true.

This lack of due diligence is a massive theme in the "Sophie is dangerous" document.

If anyone had asked me if I had made public statements referring to our body being genderfluid, I could have answered and provided a source.

In fact, the author quotes me saying that I've always considered the body genderfluid, even highlighting it...

But didn't once think, as any reasonable person would have in this situation, that there may be evidence of this out there.

Instead, the author lazily repeats the lie that this was something new I just suddenly decided for the sake of this one argument.

Transness...

There are a couple problems.

First, let's start with the point near the end about being queer. Because my point was more than that.

It was that genderfluidity is not merely queer, but specifically on the transgender spectrum as seen below:

My position is actually that any system with fronting headmates of a different gender than their AGAB is genderfluid to an extent. And because of this, is on the transgender spectrum. (Regardless of whether they identify as transgender or not.)

Slipper Slopes and Bad Precedents.

This is a ridiculous take meant to try to villainize me. And is a bit of revisionist history at that.

I initially apologized and did explain that the intent was not to reclaim the term, and that I didn't feel comfortable reclaiming it. I stand by that.

I didn't cast myself as a victim over people being upset by it.

After my apology, I listened to numerous transgender systems who were uncomfortable with the topic that arose from that, and uncomfortable with the people taking issue with a girl in an AMAB body using the T-slur.

There is a lot of underlying complexity here that I believe needed to be addressed.

Because simply apologizing without addressing these other issues sets a precedent that I didn't want to be setting.

I wasn't going to let the takeaway from that conversation be "individual headmates can't reclaim slurs, even ones they could be called, unless they directly identify by the specific term for the experiences they have."

I've never been called the T-slur. But as more systems are out publicly and headmates of different genders are expressing their gender, it's likely that they'll be victims of transphobia.

Systems with multiple genders are, as a whole, genderfluid.

Genderfluidity is on the transgender spectrum. Regardless of whether they identify as transgender or not.

And it's pretty weird to try to police the language people on the transgender spectrum use based on whether they specifically call themselves transgender or not.

My biggest problem with the whole discourse around that topic is that it ultimately presents an intrusive ideology that is super concerned with policing the specific terms GNC people use and identify by. And worse, it presents the gender of systems as less important than those who have varying genders for other reasons.

The precedents you set don't exist in a vacuum. The fact is that you are arguing this at the same time that sysmeds have resorted to maliciously misgendering endogenic systems, justifying it under the basis that it's not actual misgendering because the headmate with those genders aren't real.

Something which, if you remember from the previous episode, the OP of the "Sophie is dangerous document" doesn't believes counts as real misgendering.

In the end, it's a very slippery slope from "female headmates in AMAB bodies with gender dysphoria can't reclaim transgender slurs" to "gender discrimination against headmates is totally separate to that faced by trans people and misgendering headmates isn't as bad as misgendering real transgender people."

And this is a slippery slope the author of the document appears to have fallen straight down and crashed face-first on.

[phoenixwritessmut]

intimacy headcanons about bottoms (2023)

okay, so i have a lot of feelings about this movie right here. i watched it in theatres with one of my bestfriends, and we couldn't stop talking about it afterwards - more specifically, headcanons we had about the fight club OG members and their reactions to sexual intimacy.

hear me out, okay.

PJ (we start with the queen who started it all): - talks a big game but actually wildly unknowledgeable about everything to do with the female orgasm. - is a bottom. it's in the title, it's in her genes, it's in her jeans. - has a controversy kink (cute cheerleaders, chicks that can make shit explode) and will vehemently deny that she likes the thrill of crushing out on someone she ABSOLUTELY has no business crushing on. - learned halfway through the movie that she's into pain!

Josie (the brains of the operation... sometimes): - pimpy as fuck. she thought she'd be shy and nervous, but when she gets going she's three steps from being the hugh hefner of lesbians. - she's a top, but a service top who will let her girl do the 'topping' if she wants to (and by girl, i mean Isabel). - secret collection of toys "just in case" she needs the help with her stamina (girl just recovered from a broken arm)... spoiler alert, they use absolutely none of them and still run for like four to six rounds. - too embarrassed to admit she used to watch videos to "take notes".

Hazel (my baby, she is everything to me): - is baby girl, but is also daddy depending on her mood (and what PJ is into at the time) but is precious none the less. - refuses to turn the lights off because she likes to watch you both during and after the throes of passion. - lowkey but also kind of highkey enjoys public displays of affection after the kiss that started the straight up murder of an entire football team of teenage boys (also enjoys shoving it in Tim's face that she's got a girlfriend, and he's got... Jeff!). - ridiculously good at what she does but doesn't brag... instead PJ brags to everyone for her, and she ends up with a reputation.

Isabel (shiny, shiny, shiny, shiny): - first time she slept with Josie, she lost all hope that a man would ever know how to satisfy her - or another woman for that matter. - seems like she would be a pillow princess but is actually extremely into giving, and fights with Josie all the time over "topping". - gets turned on watching Josie break people's noses (it's happened a few times, all to the same effect) and isn't ashamed to admit it. - went to Hazel for tips on how to do things, before word even got out that Hazel was a pro... Isabel just had the feeling that Hazel knew.

Brittany (token straight girl... literally the token straight girl): - since turning down PJ, has kissed more girls than the entire club combined (it doesn't help that half of them are all into each other). - wavers on the border of being bi-curious, but just didn't know how to turn down PJ gently, also just not ready to fully come out yet. - definitely fantasizes about women while she's with her boyfriend though. he knows and doesn't really mind about that. - stands by Hazel deserves better than PJ, and if she were just five percent more into women, she'd steal poor Hazel away in a heartbeat.

and to a lesser degree, we had some headcanons about everyone else...

Stella-Rebecca (the regina george, only nicer): - looks like a pillow princess, absolutely is a pillow princess. - into some crazy ass shit; things that the rest of the girls won't even search online for until they're at least twenty-five, married, and bored in their current intimacy lives.

Sylvie (let's crowdfund to get this girl some help): - looks like she'd be in charge, is also a pillow princess, but is completely unashamed to admit that she prefers receiving. - has been hooking up with Annie since the second meeting of fight club. only Hazel knows, but she isn't a snitch.

Annie (you fool nobody, you a freak my dear): - has been hooking up with Sylvia since the second meeting of fight club, when she very concerned about the girl's homelife asked her out for dinner to "talk" and then they ended up spending the entire night together, before they kissed and fooled around a little bit, and Annie told herself for the longest time she was only doing this to make Sylvie happy because the girl is wildly unhappy, only to realize that she's the unhappy one and Sylvie makes her happy. - doesn't know that Hazel knows about them. she aint a snitch.

and for extra bonus points... we had lots of feelings about this.

Jeff (i'm saying he counts, so there): - has never found THE spot, ever. - had to practice with Tim on how to take a bra off because he kept getting confused by all of the buckles and "why is there so many straps? why do they even need these things? can't i rip it? what if i just buy them a new bra after? okay fine." - genuinely does not realize that Mrs. Callahan's daughter Hazel goes to his school and knows his girlfriend, until he is confronted by them. - falls asleep thirty-six seconds after he finishes like a lazy ass.

[apricior]

yes pls give us your internet privacy wisdom

Disclaimer: I am not an expert and these are just the small things that I've started doing recently to increase my privacy online. People who know what they're talking about will have better advice than I do, so take what I say with a grain of salt and, just like with everything else on the internet, do your own research!

Alright, first of all, let me get out of the way the basics, which we all should know by now: be careful with the personal information you share. There's things that are more dangerous to share than others (for example, saying that you live in Europe is less dangerous than saying you live in Berlin) and it is unrealistic to say "never share anything about yourself, ever", but do be aware of the fact that you don't know who can see what you're posting. Be sure that you don't mind who sees the information you're making public or, if you do, that it can't be traced to you. If you're forced to give out personal information you don't feel like sharing, lie.

Second, STAY AWAY FROM GOOGLE. Try to avoid using it as much as you can. If possible, switch to another email service that will care about privacy and security (I think proton is the most popular alternative, but I've switched to tutamail for non work related things). If you're using Google Chrome, switch to Firefox and download extensions that will help you with privacy and security. This is a list of the extensions I have and their official descriptions:

AdNauseam. "AdNauseam not only blocks ads, it obfuscates browsing data to resist tracking by the online ad industry."

ClearURLs. "This extension will automatically remove tracking elements from URLs to help protect your privacy when browsing through the Internet."

Decentraleyes. "Protects you against tracking through “free”, centralized, content delivery."

Privacy Badger. "Privacy Badger automatically learns to block invisible trackers."

Privacy Possum. "Privacy Possum monkey wrenches common commercial tracking methods by reducing and falsifying the data gathered by tracking companies."

TrackMeNot. "Protect against data profiling by search engines"

WhatCampaign. "swap out Google Analytics parameters with invalid data"

If you don't have an adblocker at this point, I have no idea how you can surf the web without wanting to smash your head against the wall, but just in case you don't, ublock is my best friend and it has never failed me, no matter how invasive and mandatory a website has tried to make their ads (yes, I'm talking about YouTube).

We all know that Google's search function is basically useless at this point, so switch to other search engines. There's a lot of alternatives, but I use mainly Qwant and sometimes DuckDuckGo, and I always find what I'm looking for.

For this point, I really recommend the r/degoogle subreddit, there's a ton of resources there about how to degoogle your life and information that can be more useful to your specific case. Honestly, it's difficult, but any change you make is better than nothing.

Third, take your time with cookies. I know that they're annoying, especially on mobile, where they take the full screen, but avoid accepting them mindlessly. Take a couple of seconds to deselect all the cookies that the website allows you to deselect. If you feel like that's a lot of work (because there is no "deselect all" button, or for any other reason), ask yourself if you really want to use that website or if you can go somewhere else.

That's everything I've been implementing in my life for the past few months. I'm trying to get better at this, so if anyone who knows more than I do has more advice or suggestions about what could be done, I'd love to hear about it!

[deadinthefoam]

Hero Worship, Terrible Artists And Thursday

Trigger warning; this blog/essay contains mentions of sexual violence, racism, ableism and homophobia. Please keep yourself safe.

-

Recently, I've had a bit of a detachment phase going on.

Realising that your heroes aren't perfect is a very natural, and important, part of maturing; no matter how well put together somebody's image might be, no person is incapable of making a mistake, or doing something “problematic”. Notes app apologies seem to have become a staple of online culture, when a celebrity's old tweets resurface about some miscellaneous topic, and the swift hammer of chronically online twitter — oops, X — users falls down to determine whether this person is “good”.

Of course, when the topic is serious, concerning racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, sexual assault etc., I find that saying we should “cancel” these people shows the trivialisation of serious issues in online spaces. Though, I suppose the concept of an angry mob is something that’s been in our society for a long, long time, so it harkens back to our primal instincts of justice. That being said, you can't “cancel” anybody; rich people find their way back to the top and move on 99.9% of the time, and all we can do is watch. This is the hellscape of capitalism (late stage, if we’re going to be specific). And it is frustrating beyond all words, so we have giant campaigns to seek some kind of catharsis, hoping we can get this person beaten with virtual sticks. The internet is often a lawless place, so we create our own type of karma.

What helps us in our quests, naturally, is the fact that all information can now so easily be dropped into our laps. A quick google search is all you need to find out somebody’s achievements, and their greatest “flops”. Exposé articles and think pieces are ready for us to consume, mull over in silent discomfort, before at the end, there’s the unexplainable dread that we now have to come to a conclusion about all of this, by ourselves; there is no definitive authority on this subject, no great philosophical statement, because, as we are constantly reminded by the snot nosed critics, “art is subjective”. Suddenly, after being metaphorically waved off by the high brows, who declare us too unimaginative to understand the genius of Woody Allen, we now have to decide the morality of a piece of work, or person. We are inexplicably burdened by our love for art.

My mother once told me that “all knowledge is good knowledge”. I don’t really consider my knowing of Johnny Depp’s sexual abuse of his ex-wife to be particularly “good”. My knowledge becomes a dead weight. Clair Dederer, in her book ‘Monsters: What Do We Do With Great Art By Bad People?’ [2023], (which I took quite a few cues and good takeaways from), put it best: “Biography used to be something you sought out, yearned for, actively pursued. Now it falls on your head all day long.”

Because of this, I see that the backlash from fans against a public figure can be more vitriolic than most — these are the people who actively seek out those biographies, and delve deeply into them. Of course, you have the adamant defenders, but there's something oddly heartbreaking about the fury of an ex-fan, who found such value in somebody's work, perhaps deriving a piece of their soul from it, only for the creator to do something they find to be unforgivable.

The most recent of this phenomenon, and possibly the most impactful to me personally, I've found, is the case of Neil Gaiman fans, and how his countless sexual assaults have left much of his audience feeling deeply betrayed. I have seen countless fans, or perhaps ex-fans now, speaking about how his work inspired them, made them feel safe despite the world not wanting them — only to be told that, just like so many other rich, white men, Gaiman took advantage of his power, and inflicted unforgivable trauma on many young women. Discussions of death of the author are rife; separation of art from the artist begins (if it can begin).

Full clarity here — I was never a big fan of Gaiman, not to say that makes me better than anyone who was. I do label myself as a nerd, so perhaps not being very familiar with his works makes me a poser, but I was aware of his significance in comic book culture. He was one of those acclaimed figures that people would talk about online as though he were a modern day God, praising his writing, his activism, and all around “good vibes”. I read “Coraline” once, was vaguely impressed by it, and then moved on. That didn’t make the news of his crimes any less jarring to me; many people who I met through online spaces who were fans of his are absolutely heartbroken, and the backlash felt so personal, so devastated, that in a strange, twisted way, I am intrigued by it.

How can we be so emotionally invested in people we don’t know?

Trust is very rarely a two way street when it comes to the artist you like (though it can be possible). We truly don't know anyone through our screens, no matter how hard we could try to. The outpouring of grief over somebody you don't really know is both something irrational yet rational. You are mourning a person you've only seen a speck of; because artists do put a part of their soul into their work, and if you look for it, you can see it. People grasp that with both hands, find meaning in it, and use it to find strength in themselves. That is something vulnerable, intimate — if you choose to kill the author, after they commit some heinous crime, do you kill a piece of yourself?

What I'm trying to get at here, is that relationships between artists and their audiences are fraught; parasocial, if we're going to use that word (whole nother box of worms). Going back to my first statement, I have been going through a process of carefully detaching myself from the artists I enjoy, so I save myself at least a part of the humiliation and heartbreak in case something awful comes out about them. It's a self preservation tactic based on suspicion, that isn't new. And I am not immune to it. Nobody is.

With great effort, I’ve pulled myself away from Shirley Manson, from Chappell Roan, from Jarvis Cocker, from Anthony Green, from Paramore, from My Chemical Romance (efforts still ongoing here — MCR is a terribly easy band to get attached to). Now I attempt to see things objectively, so I don't have to feverishly hope and pray that none of the artists I love have sexually assaulted a child. I'm aware I sound horrifically cynical.

That being said, the band Thursday from New Jersey will always be perfect to me.

No, no — that's wrong. Hold on.

I know Thursday cannot be perfect, because I will always stand by the philosophy that nothing is perfect. Yet, I have the most trouble detaching myself from this band. It's a bit of a twisted cycle, I will go through phases of completely cutting away any personal strings I have to the artists, and yet inevitably I return.

Probably part of the draw is the golden retriever-like charisma of lead singer Geoff Rickly, who's very vocal on his Instagram stories, and is very open to talking with fans. I'm one of those fans, occasionally asking questions in direct messages, or sharing artwork, though I'm sure I'm incessantly irritating. I find Geoff oddly comforting, as a person I maybe could have been — musically gifted, friendly, and able to make good connections with people. Instead, I sit alone in my small room at university, having dropped most of my musical interests in favour of a law degree that I'm not entirely sure I want to do. And I know I'm young, in comparison, I still have (in my opinion far too much) time left; but the existential dread isn't easy to cope with. I have to make decisions that I feel I am wildly unequipped for, in a world that clearly does not want me. Geoff exudes a kind of warmth and openness, which makes me feel as though maybe I can be as content as him, eventually.

The rest of the band are active on social media, each bringing their own unique personalities. Tucker Rule, the drummer, is the most frequent poster, sharing almost every concert he does (which is a fucking lot, considering his position in LS Dunes as well), as well as a few sweet posts about his family. Stu Richardson, bassist and producer, is relatively quiet, but his few words count just as much as anybody else's, and his handprints are all over their new single's (White Bikes) slick production. I definitely found a sense of safety in the band, after I listened to a podcast between Geoff, Steve Pedulla and Norman Brannon, the two guitarists, and found that queer people in hardcore was, well, something that existed.

And the fandom provides warmth as well; a strange mix of older hardcore guys, and younger, mainly gay and/or trans fans, who create a space which is marginally more accepting than probably every other fandom I've ever been in. Then, just as I was furious about none of my favourite musicians speaking about Palestine, Sudan and the Congo, Geoff Rickly calls on stage almost every night for an end to the genocides in each of those countries, and rags on US imperialism.

It's glorious. It's all I've ever wanted in a band.

It's fucking scary.

Because now, what do I do if these people ever disappoint me? How should I proceed? Should I burn my baseball cap that I got from their website and paid extortionate shipping fees for? Should I toss my Thursday albums in the garbage? The CDs that Geoff so kindly signed, after following their concert in London during summer, I utterly blew my chance to meet him and had a panic induced meltdown in front of their tour bus?

(I still feel embarrassed about that.)

All that pain, all that grief, and hatred, and love — where does it go?

Fuck if I know.

Instead, I'd like to perhaps posit something new. Detaching from your heroes is good; but a full disconnect is usually impossible. Perhaps we should find new things to explore, new ways to fall in love, get heartbroken by, and move on from. This is just the human experience, to love and to lose, and to move onwards; not everybody in the world is going to disappoint you, despite what the cynics may argue. We are not naturally selfish and cruel. Not to bring politics into things, but those traits are normalised under capitalism.

At a point, you realise that the artist who has done something terrible is not one of a kind. They are one of many; sexual assault, in the case of Neil Gaiman, is something that occurs so often among rich, high status, powerful men, that it is normalised. Neil Gaiman seemingly did everything right, he was an ally to the queer community, he was a “feminist” by all accounts, and yet here we are. But I find that putting any more effort into someone like that, who wears the face of a good person, to be tiring and not something anyone should go through.

It will take time, but I feel as though a mild detachment is necessary, for yourself, and the artist, because you can have trust both ways, through a sense of mutual understanding. You don't realise you have something until it's gone, how fandoms mourn their favourite creators when those creators step away from fandom and social media entirely (and for good reason!) and leave us behind; like Alan Moore, Gerard Way or Ryan Ross. Their (public) biographies stop — we are no longer privy to their lives. And who are we to tell these people what they can do? Fame is a terrible thing, most of the time, yet it’s a tragedy that we keep having to learn, every time a young artist passes away.

Funny how it takes somebody dying for us to pull together.

So, I’m going to keep being annoying about Thursday, milk that youthful naivety, until I grow up a little more. I’m going to keep making my silly portraits of band members, because I know the day will come where I will have to put my paintbrush down, and permanently trade it in for a keyboard and court documents. With age, I expect that some things will not affect me as deeply as they do now, and I will understand my idols as I become closer to their age. I will learn to distance myself, with time — but I can still care. It is never a crime to care. Love is a burden I will gladly shoulder for a little while more.

I don’t want to wade into faux deep talk, and get in over my head, so I’ll wrap things up now.

Maybe I've been completely pretentious this entire ramble. Maybe all these words mean fuckall in the grand scheme of things, someone’s surely thinking “we have bigger things to worry about”, and I don’t disagree. So, I'll leave you with this: be kind to yourself, fall in love with new art. When the artists you love disappoint you deeply, scream “fuck you”, with righteous rage and sadness — cry and feel. Write that think piece. Burn a book if you want to.

But do not ever give up on yourself for trusting somebody. You still have love to give to those who better deserve it, and your love is worth so much more than you can ever imagine. Love is neither rational, nor logical, but it is real.

[deconstructingchabad]

Songs of my childhood

I've been pretty busy with the Yamim Noraim and personal matters, so I haven't had the time to make really big deep-dives lately, but I still want to post on this blog, so I've decided to start a series breaking down the songs from my childhood in Chabad and the harmful messaging in them. Since each post will only be one song, they won't take as much work as a really extensive deep-dive on one specific topic.

So, to start off strong, we'll start with "A Child Alone on the Shore". From a cursory search, the first online published lyrics of this song I found from a compilation of Chabad camp songs in 2008, and in a blog post from 2009, I found it attributed to the album "Oh Rebbe 2", an album released in 1998 by Mendy Chanin and Meir HaLevy Eshel. So, this song has been around for at least 25 years. It's no surprised that it first sprang up after the death of Rabbi Schneerson, since it contains really heavy Messianic overtunes and allusions to his "bodily death", as believers put it, and the belief of his return. So, without further ado, here is the song:

A child alone on the shore, Waving a light up so high. To signal a ship that no one can see, In the rough open ocean and vast darkened sky. As every sailor passed by, They questioned the boy with the light, 'Why little one do stand at your post, There is nothing and no one in sight?' The young boy looked up, his face all aglow, And waved his small lantern above and below. 'Please wait here with me, the ship we will see,' 'Dear child explain to us how do you know?' 'I'm firm in my faith, the answer is clear, I'm so very certain the ship will appear. The captain has told me and promised he'll come, Of course I believe him, for I am his son.' The Rebbe, our captain, his promise will keep, Knowing a chossid's emunah proclaims. 'I'm firm in my faith the answer is clear, V'hu Yigolainu - Omein.'

Notes:

Chossid- word for follower of a Chassidic movement, in this case, a follower of Chabad Chassidut and specifically of Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson

Emunah- Hebrew word for faith

The last line is a Hebrew transliteration and translates to "And he will redeem us, Amen".

Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson and his wife, Chaya Mushka Schneerson, never had any biological children of their own, and a common sentiment in the Chabad community is that "the Rebbe didn't need an heir because we are his children". The idea of being the spiritual children of a spiritual leader isn't really a Jewish value- we're all descended of Avraham Avinu, the first Patriarch, and we certainly are Bnei Yisrael, the children of Yisrael/Yaakov, but that's because from a cultural and ethnic perspective, we literally are- Judaism is a descent-based ethnoreligion, so we are most of us descended from a single entity. But you'd be hard pressed to find followers of any other Rabbi call themselves his children.

The idea of referring to your spiritual leader as your father is, well, something you see a lot in Christianity, especially in denominations where the clergy take a vow of abstinence and thus would not have biological children of their own. But Judaism has no such thing- sex isn't the sinful thing it's treated as in Christianity, and spiritual leaders especially are encouraged to lead by example by marrying and procreating.

We don't know why exactly Menachem Mendel and Chaya Mushka Schneerson never had children- whether it was a choice or because they struggled with infertility- and it feels wrong to speculate or ascribe judgement because, well, at the end of the day, whether it was a choice or not, it's still very personal, and they themselves might not be alive to hear the way we talk about them, but other couples might. Having children or not having children is morally neutral.

But what's not theologically neutral is assigning divinity to a human being, something that is explicitly forbidden in Judaism. You'll also notice that any mention of G-d is absent in this song- it's the Rebbe that's the father, the Rebbe that's the redeemer. If not for the last stanza in the song, I could totally see it be a song about the Jewish people's relationship with G-d as our Parent and our yearning to be ingathered from our exiles with the coming of the Messianic age. This would not be a foreign theme- Avinu Malkeinu, a prayer recited on public fast days and on Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, literally translates to "Our Father, our King", and is exactly that- an expression of longing for connection with our God. Which is what makes "A Child Alone on the Shore" all the more, well, spiritually icky. It takes the relationship we have and yearn for with G-d and replaces G-d with a human man. A human man, mind you, that was dead at the time of publishing this song.

I'm sure you all know where I'm going with this......

(Spoiler: It's idolatry)

[dorianwolfforest]

So I was given this response by a dev about the AI thing who I have since blocked, primarily for what I'm about to talk about in this post.

I want to talk about your right to absolutely be critical, mean, negative and angry about star stable online if you want to, and why that in no way, shape, or form is "harassment".

There's this saying in bookworld, "no authors in review spaces, reviews are for readers". Its intention is to say that, no matter how much you as an author want to know how people are reacting to your book, you do not go chasing down reviews because they're not meant as a learning opportunity for you, they're meant to let others know more about your product. You do not watch videos reviewing your book. You do not read through your goodreads. You do not intentionally seek out the two or one star reviews. You are, however, encouraged to find a friend who can look through the reviews for you, find positive or constructive ones, and give them to you.

If you want to learn how to improve for your next book, you make use of the beta readers. You make use of the sensitivity readers. You make use of the editors. There is nothing a review can say that will help you, because the book the review belongs to has already been written.

In a similar vein, I do not believe developers should involve themselves in fandom spaces. Yes, I will be overjoyed at an Ismael tweet, because that is Ismael's own space. That's his world. That's his presence, he's allowed to exist online if he wants to and Ismael is still allowed to talk about SSO on his account like how authors are allowed to talk about their books, because he does not go chasing down sso neg about his own work, the server upkeep. I, as the "reviewer", do not go into his tweet replies and let him know how much I hate the most recent quests or how bad a horse breed is (much like how I, if I don't like a book, don't go on twitter and tag the author to tell them that their book sucks). I save that for my space, the reviewer space. SSOblr, in this instance.

In our own space, as reviewers, we are allowed to be critical and negative about the product we consume, because we understand that it's about the work, not the people behind it. In many instances, we don't even know who the person behind what we're critiquing is. There is also the assumption, the hope, that the person will never see it, because developers, like authors, shouldn't hunt down reviews of their work, and if they do find something that is critical, it should be a standard that they either ignore it, or read it but don't respond to it.

We've had a grown woman on this platform beef with and publicly call out a teenager for expressing the opinion that the quests she made weren't good, with the justification that the review was "hurtful". Plenty of reviews have the potential to be hurtful, it comes with the profession. That's why you don't read them. Even then, no one who expresses critical thoughts does so specifically to upset or hurt the person behind the work, far from it. That's why we stick to our tiny individual corners of the internet and don't chase you down to tell you our opinion.

Within Star Stable Entertainment, the friends an author might use to collect positive and constructive reviews are your support team (which, unfortunately, isn't all that great. Hooray for being told to overlook antisemitism) and social media accounts. All you need to know about how people react to you and your work should be filtered through them.

If the person who used AI art feels targeted and harassed, that is on them. We didn't know it was even one single person who did it, you as a company singled them out to us so that we'd stop blaming you as a whole. Furthermore we don't know who it is, we physically cannot harass them. Who do we tag? who do we send messages to in order to harass them? No one. They would need to go on SSOblr and look through the tag after a massive controversy caused by them, purposefully searching for outrage. That's not on us.

You are fully within your right to have public opinions about the content you consume, and if a developer oversteps the creator/reviewer boundary you are not the one who should be apologizing.