#anyway tag ramble over feel free to also ramble to me about your takes XD

[doodlejoltik]

my favourite writing device is having an un-Rei-liable narrator

[river-muse]

That WIP ask game is seriously an underrated concept tbh, authors should be able to air out their works and ideas if they want to, even if those are unfinished.

Since I've been bugging you a little about MH I think I have to ask about the Monster Hunter Derelict WIP. MH Is an interesting setting for sure, but it's also hard to think of something to write in it, except maybe a dnd-like hunter party? Anyway, I'm rambling, definitely interested what you had going on There.

Also, I'm a filthy cheater and a sucker for time-themed fiction, so I definitely have to ask about Whatever Time May Bring. Feel free to ignore my filthy cheater double request tho

I agree! Being able to show off stuff we're working on without perfection being expected is super fun because I can pick out highlights and hold it up without needing to go "is this polished enough to be read?"

Since one is sort of a mini-fic that's an AU me and one of my close friends are messing around with for the funnies I'll answer both of your requests! I'm giggling and rubbing my hands together.

Monster Hunter Dereliction is the working title of a DMC MonHun AU that centers around a small Guild outpost in the Old World that pretty much has its shit figured out due to there not being many settlements in the area that need to be protected. My friend and I went "fuck it minimal family loss trauma in this department" so a lot of the cast is Around(tm) except for Sparda(we haven't decided what happened to him yet if anything).

There's sort of a plot figured out, though most of it's up in the air because we haven't had too much of a chance to talk more thoroughly about it and are just in the brainstorming department. We really just wanted to come up with our own biomes and monster designs for fun. It would involve a clash between two Elders breaking open a crevice in the earth that reveals an underground cavern system- and unknowingly awakening an Elder that has almost cosmic horror-esque traits to it. There's a sketch but it's not mine so I'd have to ask my friend later if he'd be cool with me sharing it.

For a little insight into some character placements, since I'm a bit obsessive about how lore in MonHun goes xD I won't go into what everyone is doing but I will share a handful.

I don't have much in way of writing, since I just got a few key ideas down- but have at it!

I think we decided Dante was the master in that area? He's mostly chilling around the outpost unless something super dangerous comes up that he's needed for.

Vergil is a high-ranking hunter who tends to do tasks for the Scholars that takes him into dangerous areas for the challenge and potential to explore old ruins. He's in and out of the outpost a lot on a whim so unless he's requested specifically good luck finding him.

Nero is an established hunter who tends to get a little babied by the others, which leads to him being more adamant about pushing his limits to prove himself and get them to stop worrying.

Eva regularly travels, recording locales and monsters in general peace.

Kyrie acts as the guild sweetheart for the location, handling quest assignments and making sure the hunters are properly prepared.

Credo is one of the residing guild knights, which is a rank in the guild that handles upholding guild regulation and deciding on punishment for anyone caught illegally poaching monsters.

Nell is the residential smithy! She's been training Nico for a long time now to take over in the future.

For now Nico tends to tag along behind Nero on a lot of hunts to observe them, swipe some new materials for herself, and experiment with equipment that diverts away from standard expectations.

Patty is a guild sweetheart in training, if I remember right? I only wrote her name in all caps in this post-it note and nothing else fdsgfbsdxjkgbj

-

Dante’s late to leave his room today, not expecting too many requests to come in if any. It’s been quiet since they’d sorted out the sudden influx of larger wyverns that had migrated South from their own territories. Which isn’t a good sign. It could mean something bigger is on the way soon. However nothing’s turned up. So to him the problem’s been solved. The peace lasts about as long as expected though, because the door pushes open without so much as a knock from the incoming visitor. It’s Lady. Not even in her armor yet but scowling as if she’d just gotten tossed around by a Diablos. “Where’s your fucking brother?” “Not even a good morning?” Dante yawns. “Passed morning a few hours ago.” Lady crosses her arms and leans against the doorframe “Now about Vergil-“ “Do I look like my brother’s keeper?” When It’s obvious Lady isn’t accepting that as an answer he groans and rests his feet on his desk “Out. On an expedition. That’s why one of the aptonoth aren’t in the stable. He’s North, checking out whatever caused that Wyvern displacement. Should be back in a few days.”

-

Vergil lingers by the ledge of the massive crevice, peering into the darkness to see faint shimmers of light that waver as if moving. It’s odd. With most of the trees decimated there should be plenty of sunlight shining down to show whatever’s down there. The darkness opens its eyes. Swirling colors and glowing light as faint pupils shrink to paper-thin slits when they focus on him. From the positioning of them Vergil isn’t sure if he’s looking face-to-face with a creature or with multiple. He doesn’t recognize any visible traits and stumbles away from the ledge. There’s a snapping noise and Vergil looks back to see the aptonoth has broken her binds in her attempt to flee, taking all of Vergil’s gear with her as she disappears into the treeline. A rattling, warbling noise that resembles a broken horn echoes loud enough that it hurts Vergil’s ears. He covers them with his hands and regrets not bringing earplugs. Something cold enough to leech the temperature through his armor wraps around his ankle, and drags him into the crevice. He grasps at the rock. His gloves dig in and he struggles to grab his blade. It slips from his hands and he falls with it. Darkness engulfs his vision made to feel darker by the eyes that fill his peripheral. One more eye, larger than all the others, opens up in front of him to blot out his last view of the sun.

-

Nero’s the first to volunteer and the first to be ready to depart. He shuffles about, fretting over what equipment to take and how long of a trip it will be. “Don’t you dare authorize that mission.” Credo objects, smacking his hand on the table “There’s no telling how long he’ll be gone, and if there is a wyvern strong enough out there to take Vergil down then I don’t feel comfortable sending him out.” “He’s qualified. Just as capable as the rest of us.” Dante insists “You need to stop babying him or he’ll never get his feet under him.” “How dare you accuse me of coddling one of our hunters?” “You’re not really beating the allegations. Especially since he’s got a crush on your sister.” “Do not-“ Nero objects. Dante stares, raises an eyebrow, and Nero clicks his tongue. Nero looks away while his cheeks flush red.

---

NOW onto-

Whatever Time May Bring. You have sniffed out the ONE NASNAH part that I think you're going to love the most, because it takes place when Nero's 15 and a certain 8 year old girl finds her way into Dante's life. It skims through the anime timeline and a bit beyond, since for reasons not yet revealed in the plot Dante decides to keep Vergil and Nero out of most of the details of his demon hunting work. It's a scene compilation like how "In Leaps and Bounds" was for little Nero. It's also finally the time where Nero starts questioning his family's behavior and secrets more than before.

-

Vergil watches the ensuing exchange with all of his attention he can muster. There’s something comedic about a young child pushing Dante to wits’ end when Nero at that age earned nothing but Dante’s adoration. He then notices Nero’s uncharacteristic silence. It takes just one glance to see Nero’s eyes are wide, watching Patty with an expression that he hasn’t seen before. “Nero?” Nero startles out of his thoughts, straightening up. “Uh, hi.” Nero says. He picks up his coat from the floor and dusts it off. “A little slow on the uptake. Did you overheat trying to wear that over here?” Dante asks. “No just-“ Nero looks away and seems to get his bearings “-wasn’t expecting to see you taking care of a kid. He’s being nice to you, right?” Nero looks at Patty with his question. “He’s horrible! He doesn’t clean, never explains anything until after it happens, and won’t eat anything but pizza and strawberry sundaes. I’m surprised he even knows what tomato juice is let alone drinks it.” Patty pouts and motions at Dante with a pointed finger.

-

Patty is- energetic. She’s outspoken and from how she speaks her mind is sharper than she leads others to believe. Yet she’s very much a child in how she behaves. Much like how Dante had been at her age to an extent. It had been obnoxious to deal with when younger, but Vergil can rationalize it as normal behavior for children in hindsight. Nero’s odd phase of having become quiet and calm as a child must have been a special case. “Would you advise I rescue Nero now, or later?” Vergil questions. “I think they’ll get along just fine without us hovering.” Dante pushes up from his chair and nudges a box of stuffed animals to the side with his foot. He tilts his head to the hallway door “Let’s leave them to it.” “And what will we be doing, instead?” “If you don’t want to know the weird details of the job, then I guess we can stay here and listen to Patty go on all day about that stupid show.” “Hey! I heard that.” Patty speaks up, looking over from the couch. “I wasn’t talking to you.” “But you were talking about me, so that’s pretty much the same thing.” Patty sticks her tongue out.

-

“What happened to my mom? Who was she?” Vergil’s gaze flicks away. Guilt passes over his face and he keeps cleaning without giving an answer. “Hey, you can’t just ignore me. I asked you a question-” Nero objects. “I can, and I will.” Vergil holds out the sauce pan “That is a topic for another time, Nero.” “Another time? Seriously?” Nero scowls as he uses a bit more force than needed to dry the pan “You’re gonna dare say that to me after years of this? I don’t even know what her name was.” Vergil pauses washing the dishes, resting his hands on the edges of the sink.

-

Thank you for letting me go insane and giving me a chance to share with you some Patty Propaganda! I had to seriously dig around and be careful with what I show since there's quite a few parts between the fic I'm currently uploading and this one, but I would be damned if I didn't give you something to look forward to. <3

[lookbluesoup]

Share 5 songs that remind me of my WIP/characters:

Tagged by @darkestmiqote Thank you :D

I couldn't decide whether to do Nahte or Lyrha so ya'll get both xD

I... tried not to ramble about these TOO much. But I think I did anyway. Sorry.

Nahte'to Vhia

What If - Five For Fighting - Nahte's extremely empathetic, even towards his enemies, and feels that most conflict comes from desperation and ignorance. The hardest part about being the WoL is reaching out his hand to people who refused to take it, and forced him to fight. "Imagine all the pain that might be forgiven. What if I had your heart? What if you wore my scars?"

TOMBI - Kvi Baba (English lyrics in pinned comment & CC) - Nahte instinctively cares for others, but struggles at times with feeling overwhelmed by guilt and responsibility, a lot of which isn't rightly his to bear. By Endwalker, he's exhausted. - "Sleepless nightmares never end, But I never forget my hope. Through every dark night there's a bright day, even here."

We All Fall Down - The Rigs - A big part of Nahte's story is learning to let his friends care for him the way he cares for others. Ultimately it's neither gods nor his own strength of will that saves Nahte, but the love shared between him and his family. 'Wait, I'm between shadows an sunlight, But your love gets me through dark nights, And I'll be alright."

The Navigator - Vian Izak - As he learns to love himself despite his own shortcomings - the way his friends do - Nahte realizes that love which is strong enough to change the world and the individual both ultimately doesn't need justification or explanation. It would be impossible to. It's an Odyssey, full of ups and downs, unforgettable stories and lost moments, changed even in the retelling. Love is about faith. "Let love be left uncharted, Leave your navigator home, And sail your ship through breathless waters. Love lies at the edge of hope."

Something Wild - Andrew McMahon - Like the soul he inherited, Nahte was born with insatiable wanderlust and curiosity. He's drawn, always, to find out what lies over the next hill. It's swept him up into world-shattering revelations and placed him at the center of deciding the fate of the very Star, but its also brought him a depth of love and a fullness of life he could never have imagined when he first left the Shroud. "If you face the fear that keeps you frozen, Chase the sky into the ocean, That's when something wild calls you home."

I'lyrha Rinha

Please Take Me - Beth Crowley - Lyrha doesn't want to be alone. Traditionally loyal only to herself, when she bonds with X'rhun suddenly someone has the power to genuinely hurt her, if they leave her behind. And she realizes that maybe X'rhun shouldn't be alone, either. Even if she feels unworthy of his love, she chooses to entrust her loyalty to him. "So if you're gonna leave, Wherever you go please take me."

What You're Made of - Kiesza - Lyrha struggles so much with accepting forgiveness and making peace with her past misdeeds, but she's a fighter. Though she often mistrusts affection and pushes it away, X'rhun and Arya have faith in her, and love her even when she doesn't love herself. "Push me out, I'll pull you closer, When you think that it's all over, Know that you will never be unloved by me."

Hell or High Water - The Rescues - Becoming a Red Mage gives Lyrha a courage she never knew she had. If it means protecting her found-family, she'll put everything she has on the line. - "When the river's running red, And we begin to falter, We'll hang onto the edge, Come hell or high water."

Bird Song - Juniper Vale - Lyrha's past kept her caged in bars of jaded suspicion and selfishness; she was quick to abandon her 'friends' when a better offer came along. X'rhun sets her free, and she foregoes her own self interest to stay by his side. "The symphony's awakening my sparrow heart, When our hearts beat slow together."

Swan Upon Leda - Hozier - As a young girl, Lyrha was taken into slavery and subjected to years of inescapable abuse. She grew up, and inflicted that same abuse on others. She believed that was simply how the world was, and the cycle of things could not change. But she learns, though she struggles, that there is still hope, and that things can be better, if she's brave. - "One more sweet boy to be butchered by men. The gateway to the world, Was still outside the reach of him."

I'll tag (but no pressure!) @briar-ffxiv @seasaltandcopper @ronqueesha @traveleorzea @boggleoflight @starrysnowdrop @echoes-of-blue @starscytheskies @sayonaramidnight And you! Reading this! Please!!!

[alirhi]

Loki ranting

Okay. I had this thought in my head of like just compiling links of all the Loki shit I've posted/reblogged so far so that when I get into a conversation about the show and how it fucking disgusted me, I can just be like "here. here's this masterlist post, go read all this shit. This is my entire argument, and not only mine, but a lot of stuff posted by people far more intelligent and level-headed and eloquent than I am, whom I happen to agree with." Because the alternative is constantly getting fired up all over again, and that is exhausting.

BUT! I'm stupid and don't know how tumblr works. Apparently I can't just be like "give me all the Loki-tagged shit I've got" I can only search all the Loki-tagged shit on all of tumblr. And I'm not scrolling back through all of my posts. I talk too fucking much for that shit 😂

So, I'll try to remember all of my grievances with how the MCU has treated Loki, and all of the excellent posts made by other, equally upset fans, and put it all together here under this nice, neat little cut for everyone else's sanity and scrolling convenience...

For people who actually read my shit fairly regularly - bless you, you crazy, patient people. I love you! - this is going to be a lot of repetition of shit you've already read. Probably at least twice. I'm passionate and I have a terrible memory lol. Sorry.

Anyway, first, for those who don't know me and haven't been following my explosions of rage for the past couple of months, some quick background: I do not read comic books, so Loki's Marvel comic canon means nothing to me. I know almost nothing about it. The reason I'm so in love with the character in the MCU is because I am an eclectic witch and the deity I've actively loved and worshiped the longest in my life (literally for as long as I can remember) is Loki. So when he was mentioned in The Mask, I squeed. When they named Matt Damon's character after him in Dogma, I cheered.

When Thor came out in 2011, I just about died from happiness. I was hungry for any representation of this underappreciated god, no matter what it was. I didn't even bitch about how underpowered he was, because at least he was there. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself.

I can hear anyone reading this going "Why Loki? Isn't he, like, evil? Like basically the Norse version of The Devil?" Because I heard all this shit irl all the fucking time. And no. So let me give you a quick rundown of who Loki actually is.

Loki is a Trickster God. He's often referred to as the God of Mischief. He is not and never was evil, simply chaotic and hedonistic. Loki Laufeyjarson was the son of Laufey (that's mama; they changed her to a man for some reason in the movie) and Fárbauti. Right from the start, from his name, we get a sign of how Loki goes against traditional norms of the time, because in Norse culture, families were patrilineal, and surnames were "son/daughter of father" (which would have made him Loki Fárbautitason), not the mother. But Loki's surname is matrilineal. Feminist icon woo! lol

Though he's a Jotunn, Loki is counted among the Gods (Aesir) in Norse tradition. Depending on his mood, he is alternately helpful or disruptive to the other Gods. I'm not gonna sit and teach a whole text class on him lol but I'll use my favorite example of Misunderstood Loki - the conception of Sleipnir!

So, get this shit. This is also part of why I DO NOT follow Odin and never fucking will (a very small part, but still part of the reason). So, the other Norse Gods are petty motherfuckers, and they wanted some shit built but didn't want to pay the dude doing the building. So they were like "okay, if you can get it done in X amount of time, we'll pay you, but if you can't manage it NO MATTER WHAT, this whole thing is free." And they made sure he had NO help, nothing but him, his materials, and his Very Good Horsey. And this guy and his horse were fucking BAMFs. So it was looking like he was definitely gonna get it done in time, and Odin was like "nah, fuck that shit. I'm cheap." and so he sent Loki to distract the work horse. Loki transformed into a mare and lured the horse away, got fucked, got pregnant, gave birth to the 8-legged (for some reason) horse Sleipnir. Odin rides Loki's son into battle. Um. Kay.

So Loki helped Odin be a petty mf, and Odin got himself a new pet out of the deal.

Oh, also, because he's smart af and a shapeshifter and a master magician and genderfluid, Loki "fails" to fit the super fucking toxic and narrow Norse/Aesir view of "a real man". He prefers intelligence and manipulation to solve problems rather than violence, he's not afraid to behave like a clown if it gets shit done, and that grosses the Aesir out, so they constantly ridicule him for being "less than a man".

Loki is the God of the outcast and the misunderstood. The marginalized people from all walks of life. He is the God of the LGBT community. In modern terms, he's pansexual, polyamorous (married to Sigyn and they are deeply in love, but boy gets around and I've never seen any indication that Sigyn gives a shit) and genderfluid.

Okay. Focus, Ali. This is part of why I usually post multiple rants instead of one big long one XD The longer I ramble, the more I get sidetracked and forget the original point.

So. Loki's awesome, and being a Trickster, is powerful as all fucking hell. There's not much he can't do.

And now we come to Thor (the movie, not the deity). Loki's there! 24-year-old Ali is spazzing! All is right with the world!

Oh lord, they've actually done him justice?! Amazing! He's complex and nuanced and emotional, just like the real Loki! I loved this movie. Loved. It. The climactic thing with trying to blow up Jotunheim never really made much sense to me until someone made an excellent point the other day about Loki being raised in a racist society that was racist against his own race, he just didn't know it yet, poor child. Baby Thor was never corrected when he pledged to commit mass genocide, so Baby Loki probably absorbed the lesson then that Jotunns=evil and killing them all will win his father's love. Anyway, 2011 Loki was a beautiful, heartbreaking portrayal of the God I've loved all my life and spent 24 years longing to see depicted on the big screen.

Then The Avengers happened. And I saw another Loki very close to Norse mythology - mainly, how he's treated. In the beginning of the movie, he's sick, exhausted, and in pain. He can hardly stand, he stumbles and needs help when he walks. He was very obviously tortured, and the sickly blue light of the scepter's control is in his eyes. That gets less and less pronounced as the movie goes on, showing Loki working his way free of it, but in the beginning, he's a mess. Because he was tortured and used by Thanos. Marvel directly confirmed this, and that he was under the scepter's/Mind Stone's control. Loki's actions are not his own in The Avengers. He's under both threat and Thanos' direct control. The movie actually shows The Other directly threatening him to keep him on task, because this is not Loki's plan. It is not what he wants. He's being used and villainized... Just like in real life. It hurt to see this done to him, but the accuracy was too beautiful to ignore.

Thor: The Dark World comes out. I've heard people complain that this movie is the weak link in the Thor trilogy. I disagree. I think that's Ragnarok, for a bunch of reasons, but we'll get there. (And for the record, I loved Ragnarok, too. It was a funny movie. Infinity War and the Disney+ series are the only portrayals of Loki in the MCU that I truly fucking hated.) Anyway, good, fun movie. Had its faults, as all movies do, but it still followed Loki's real-life arc in a way. How? By having Loki dragged back to Asgard in chains and imprisoned underground. Again, not super happy that this happened to my love, and having to see it on screen was painful, but at least in the MCU he's not chained to a rock with venom dripping on his face for eternity, so there's that. (poor Sigyn. how tired do her arms get, holding up that bowl? best wife ever, amirite?)

In TDW, we're shown Loki's love for Frigga, who favored him and taught him magic as a child. We see his bravado; his attempts to mask his true feelings, especially grief. We see him slowly coming back to himself after the events of The Avengers, and slowly mending his relationship with his brother. He accepts that Odin will likely never love him, but Thor just might, because they were close when they were young. "I didn't do it for him." No, no my sweet, you did it for your brother, and a little out of guilt for what happened to your mother.

At the end, Loki fakes his death and escapes, taking the throne, and I have mixed feelings about this. Not the writer's choices here; I love that completely! A natural progression in Loki's story. But my joy is tainted by how closely they're following the Eddas now. Because Loki's escape from his prison heralds the beginning of Ragnarok. And Loki will die in Ragnarok. I don't want to see that play out in front of my face. I won't be able to handle the grief (spoiler alert! IW broke me. I almost walked out of the theater. Loki's death was legitimately fucking traumatic for me. I don't even care how pathetic that is. That grief was real, it was intense, and I still shake and cry when I think about it.)

Marvel announces that Thor 3 will be called Ragnarok. The internet treats this as a shocking revelation. I roll my eyes and mumble "duh" to myself and move on XD

Then they say Ragnarok will be a buddy comedy. I throw up a little in my mouth and no longer want to live on this planet. If they're going to make something called Ragnarok, could they at least treat it with even a fraction of the respect they've shown these characters thusfar? Jfc. I mean, I'll see it anyway, because I'm a whore for Tom Hiddleston lol. But come on, people!

I hated that they made Hel the long-lost older sister and Fenrir her fucking pet/attack dog. Those are my favorites of Loki's children! Hel is such an incredible badass that the early Christians named their dimension of eternal torture after her! They were terrified of her, to the point of naming the place that terrified them most after her. That's awesome! And Fenrir's just the best. I love wolves. Those two details, and Odin's retcon of "we're not Gods! ...lol, except your sister. she's totally a Goddess. and def gonna kill literally everything, so... good luck! byyyeeeee" pissed me off royally.

The rest was great. I genuinely liked this movie. Still do. And they finally used The Immigrant Song! That was pretty cool. If they'd thrown in Bring the Hammer Down and Thunderstruck, I might've called this movie perfect. XD

I wasn't totally in love with their portrayal of Loki in Ragnarok. Yes, the falling for 30 minutes line was funny, as was "I have to get off this planet" and "YES! That's how it feels!" And "Get Help" was funny as hell. But also, like... There is no way Loki would have been the dumb one in that first encounter with Hela. Also, he can teleport and project copies of himself and shit, so... He would not have been that desperate to go straight back to Asgard and bring her right along with them. Loki's not stupid. But whatever. Movie's gotta movie.

What I did love was seeing the slow mending of his relationship with Thor continuing, and the badass fighting on the bridge. I also loved that, like Real Loki, Movie Loki helped when help was needed, was quick and clever, and while he was carrying out the main plan, he was also planning ahead and grabbing the Tesseract. Yes, that drew Thanos right to them, but that's a whole other thing. Loki never would have left that thing on Asgard to be destroyed or lost.

And now Infinity War. Hooooly fucking shit. You know what? No. I'm not going into this. He was killed, years of character growth were erased forever, my heart fucking shattered. The end.

Endgame. IW hurt me so bad I didn't see Endgame until this year. I actually watched Civil War first (for context: I had actively avoided all Cap movies until this year because I fucking hate Steve Rogers. I find him insufferable. Did not realize what I was denying myself until I watched CW and finally saw the charms of Bucky. When he appeared in IW, I was so lost. XD I was like "...who dis? Murder Jesus?" also I just... didn't care. I was numb by then from crying through most of the movie over Loki)

So, anyway. Endgame. Loki picks up the Tesseract in alternate 2012, escapes, fans go "yay! he didn't actually die!" I go "yes he fucking did. Five years of his life, gone. Five years of growth and change, erased. Loki is dead. This will not be the same."

I was more right than I could have predicted. Now we come to the point of this rant. Sorry it took so long, but you were warned lol.

The Loki series makes me so angry I actually get sick to my stomach. It was fucking TRASH. When I praised Marvel for following Norse mythology so faithfully earlier? Yeah. I DID NOT MEAN TREAT HIM THE WAY THE OTHER GODS DID. I did not mean paint him as a pitiful clown, a joke, a caricature of who he truly was, with his pain and suffering played for LAUGHS.

This is supposed to be 2012 Loki, newly freed from Thanos' control. The Loki we saw in the beginning of TDW - snarky, exhausted, nihilistic. The Loki who rolled his eyes and said "get on with it" expecting to be killed.

The bumbling clown flipping on a dime from posturing to calling himself weak is not 2012 Loki. That is not ANY Loki. That is Tom Hiddleston in a black wig doing what he's told by a shitty writer who had no fucking idea what he was doing and was salty about his (bad) original script (for something totally fucking unrelated) getting killed.

In Episode 1, Loki is mocked, imprisoned, stripped against his will, tormented, belittled, and given a flippant summary of all the trauma Actual MCU Loki suffered that this one skipped out on, with no context, no acknowledgement of the trauma he's already lived quite fucking recently, and with the narrative twisted to not only erase all the abuse he's suffered, but to make it all his fault. And this is supposed to make him want to help these people?

And worse, IT FUCKING WORKS. WHAT?! I CAN'T- FUCKING WHAT?! Remember when I said LOKI IS NOT FUCKING STUPID?! So why is he STUPID?

Episode 2, he's a child. Mentally, this Loki is a fucking child. Now we've erased all the growth and development of his entire adult life. He's dopey, impatient, impulsive, desperate for a pat on the back and actually shows it. Yes, abused and neglected children crave the positive attention we never received, and we often grow up to be a bit emotionally stunted. But not all of us, and not Loki. Not as we've seen him EVER in the rest of the MCU. Playful and a bit callous at times? Absolutely! But not a big dumb fucking puppy.

Episode 3, a ray of hope, despite Sylvie! (I hate Sylvie) Loki casually admits he's pan/bi; labels never come up, but he admits to being with both men and women! He sings! Not really relevant to whether I approve of his portrayal or not lol but Tom has a beautiful voice, Norwegian ("Asgardian" lol) is a gorgeous, entrancing language, and I could watch that one bit on loop for eternity and never get bored. And then, finally, we see a glimpse - a glimpse - of Loki's power! He stops a falling building and pushes it right back up! Are we finally getting to see what he can really do? Will the next episode bring us Loki in all his glory?

Nope. 4 and 5 we see him mocked and pushed around and utterly irrelevant. Again. We see tiny reflections of what he could maybe theoretically do in other random Loki variants, but the "main" (lawl. main. it was the Sylvie and Mobius show. Loki was never the main anything.) Loki? Nothing. He wears his heart on his sleeve for no reason, bonds with the man who imprisoned, taunted, and gaslit him, is killed, and continues to be a moron and a joke. Always the clown. Always the dumb one. The one with the bad ideas. The inferior Loki.

Don't even get me started on that finale. I can't. This already took so much out of me. Fuck Marvel. Fuck this fucking show. I just... I'm done.

[danhoemei]

Answer with 3 random facts about yourself. Let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Thank you for tagging me @to-yearn-for , I love these games 💚

So first of all, I’M SORRY BECAUSE I ALWAYS END UP RAMBLING TOO MUCH

Anyway-

1. I’m a freaking hoarder. And I really mean it. I realised the problem (because it was a sick level, like keeping literal trash since elementary school) and started gradually getting rid of some things as well as learning to tone it down or to let go. You can see glimpses of this characteristic of mine on this blog, hoarding content, my precioussss xd A few other things I collect in a healthier way are:

replicas (and not 👀) of weapons, like knives, pistols, hidden blades etc. (everything legal, don’t call the cops)

paintings of small or street artists from different countries (mentioned it in this post recently)

paper books (I have around 400 just in my room, probably over 2000 in the whole home)

fantasy-like accessories, like leather bags, vials, weapon holsters, some jewellery (like rings with patterns winding around the fingers, moonstones, leaves coated in silver, teeth necklaces, braided strings etc.)

plants (my room is already a jungle but I need moar, help)

photos (from literally my whole life and many trips or events), art, memes, music etc (previously downloaded, now gathered in cloud or on platforms such as this, to save up space on my devices and have it neatly segregated and searchable)

anything created over the years by my closest artistic friends (and me), so there are tons of pics and videos of art and costumes, 3d models, games, recordings of singing or music, written pieces, and so on, including the process, sketches, pics from modeling sessions (as one of my friends often needed a model for projects and I had the opportunity to help a few times 💚 could show some pics if anyone was interested 👀)

Could expand on any of the points or take some pics if anyone asks 👀

2. I love adrenaline so I’m always the first to jump on the most crazy rollercoasters, stand on the edge of cliffs (to the horror of people around), jump from heights like with a parachute or from rocks into the water, take part in tough trips like climbing Mt Fuji for sunrise sighting. I love wild nature, water, flying, and heights so much 😭 I’m always thrilled on a boat, or swimming in high waves (even a few meters high), on a plane, on the peak of a mountain, near literal abysses. Still have a lot of things on my bucket list, e.g. bungee jumping, scuba diving to the depths of the ocean, wingsuit flying etc.

3. I got pulled into tabletop RPGs when I was around 13 and since that time I had so many campaigns in so many different systems (Warhammer, many from WoD, DnD, Wolsung, niche or original ones, and some more). I also created two original worlds with my friends, one of which is such a big project that we’ve been slowly working on it for a few years already. We created almost a whole continent with its politics, history, and conflicts, as well as environmental parts like climate, fauna, and flora. There are several races with cultures specific for them and their regions, a whole spectre of different “magic” (or more like supernatural elements of the world which can be manipulated in very different ways and with their own rules). Plus many characters which we either play as, or just fill the world with and use in the stories.

I've always been interested in numerous subjects, as much scientific (biology, physics, computer science, maths) as humanistic (languages, psychology, philosophy, cultures, art), and I use my gathered knowledge a lot here to create something complex and natural but also quirky and interesting. Especially in terms of magic - something more than just “you make things happen because it’s magic”. So there are very different aspects of the world which we could simplify as “magic”, but they are really sometimes just a part of the world which some people tune into. Like, there is a parallel world of spirits which influences our world and the other way around, and some people learnt to peek into it and communicate with it. But to give an example of a typical trope and the shenanigan we made out of it - a “telekinesis” in that world would be just redirecting the kinetic energy to a different object. In simple terms, when you yeet something which was static, another thing stops moving. And to make something “float” you’d have to repeatedly give smaller pushes to it, while of course feeding on other moving things around and gradually slowing them down (unless you use your own body, so full of sweet kinetic energy 😈).

ANYWAY, RPGs are so much fun, immensely creative and educational 💚 I learnt so many valuable lessons, had such diverse experiences, and created piles of art and content for these characters, stories, and sessions. Absolutely adore RPGs and will always recommend it for anyone.

Tagging @silver-colour @willowclarissoon @ohohsomething @a-very-fond-farewell @selkiebycatch @carriewangxian @robinduckling but feel free to ignore this as always

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[yume-x-hanabi]

Writer Meta Meme

I decided to do all the questions on this meme :)

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

My current project is Concubinage, my gaiwin arranged marriage AU. It started as a random, entirely self-indulgent idea, but it has since grown into an actual project. Progress is good, I’ve managed to do bi-monthly updates and I have 30k in my drafts so far.

What I love the most about it is that, since it’s an AU, I’m pretty free to do whatever I want. I don’t have to be too careful of timelines and so on. Plus, in this AU, Gaius and Wingul are able to get closer than they otherwise would, due to the different circumstances. They have their own trials, but it’s different than in the canon timeline.

Another current project is Tales of Xillia Week, but I didn’t get much inspiration for it so I think I’m gonna do meta/headcanon posts more than fics ^^;

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

I’m looking forward to getting to the part where it’s just domestic fluff haha. It’ll take a while to reach that point though.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Not just one scene ig, but I’ve been wanting to write one-shots showing how the Chimeriad survived, and... haven’t gotten around to planning it. So it’s pretty low on my project list tbh.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

I have... a few, but they’re all spoilers for future chapters XD;;

5. What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I don’t... really identify with characters. I mean, they’re pretty different than me in personality, life and circumstances...

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I love writing Gaius and Wingul of course, but Agria’s probably the most fun. She’s completely unrestrained, which makes her pretty easy and fun to let loose XD

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

Exposition and worldbuilding XD

I can’t help it, I always need to develop the setting...

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Yes. I would love it if more people wrote gaiwin XD

9. Are you more of a drabble or a longfic kind of writer? Pantser or plotter? Do you wish you were the other?

I used to be more of a ficlet writer, but I’m currently doing well with a longfic XD

As for the rest, it varies. I like to plot and outline a bit, but it’s often rather loose and I let inspiration guide me.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

Wait for inspiration time, energy and motivation to align.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

Those who update super long fics every week. How do you do it????

12. Do you want your writing to be famous?

Naah, I’m fine in my corner of fandom. Though I wouldn’t say no to a few more readers, if only to know that the ship still sails xD

13. Do you share your writing online? (Drop a link!) Do you have projects you’ve kept just for yourself?

Yep, I post on AO3. And all projects are meant to be posted one day, but some aren’t simply because they aren’t finished.

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

The beginning, usually, but I might change it

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Tags are easy. Titles and summaries are hard, and I always end up with something boring but heh, as long as they get the meaning across...

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

It was last year, but I tried first person pov with my Agria fic, because that fits her well. I’d like to try poetry, maybe.

17. Do you think readers perceive your work - or you - differently to you? What do you think would surprise your readers about your writing or your motivations?

I have no idea tbh. When I write, I like to imagine what my readers will think (especially like when I write funny scenes, I hope they’ll make people laugh), but idk if it’s exactly like I think.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

In Concubinage, I considered adding a plotline where Arst met an ex and had to deal with complicated feelings about it -- being reminded how it was to be in a loving relationship vs political marriage, craving intimacy like he used to have with said ex, etc. I ended up scrapping the idea though.

I also have... two or three possible ways things can play out in a much later plotpoint, and I think I’m pretty sure of which way I’ll go already, but the other possibilities exist. Maybe I’ll make a post about all abandoned plotlines one day...

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

“And, but, and, but...” XD;

Also characters often find themselves doing something before they knew it...

My style is probably pretty repetitive. I’m not a native speaker, and I feel limited sometimes...

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Concubinage is the result of watching too many sageuk and  taiga drama. No I’m not sorry.

When writing AU, I always like to include “cameo” of the original storyline (for example, as the plot of a book, or treating the canon games as a fractured dimension in Chimeriad Live AU’s, etc)

In Fractured Lives, I try to alternate Wingul and Gaius’ pov. It’s probably gonna bite me in the ass when some plot points work better in one pov but the chapter requires the other. I’ll probably have to come up with some fillers or something...

I have extensive headcanon about Auj Oule’s geography, history etc, which pops up in a lot of (planned) fics. Even if it’s different fics/AU’s (ex. Concubinage vs my pre-game gaiwin project vs the Wingul fic I was writing for the big bang), I reuse the same settings and OC’s. Most of those aren’t written/posted yet so it’s pretty self-contained for now, but if I ever get to completing those projects I hope it won’t be too confusing to readers who don’t follow all the stories...

21. What other medium do you think your story would work well as? (film, webcomic, animated series?)

If I had the art skills, I’d love to turn some of them into comics ;A;

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Sometimes. Usually because I need to refresh my memory before writing a new chapter XD

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

That project to write the whole pre-game Gaius & Wingul history, that’s something I’ve been wanting since forever. Well, I originally wanted to read it, but since no one’s gonna do it, I started thinking I should write it. It’s gonna be a huge project though...

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time?

I honestly have no idea. I do sense a difference in that it’s much easier for me to just write now; I guess habit helps. But I have no idea if style changed or anything lol.

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Filling the tag with my OTP XD

[maxladcomics]

If you have time to, could you explain how you go about planning/making your comics? Other than drawing them, I mean. Like, how do you plan out what happens in a page, how do you go about scripting it, that kinda thing.

WELL- (This is gonna be a long post, so block the tag #longpost or #Maxramble if it’s too much!) 

I unfortunately keep most stuff in my head- but I’ll explain some small things that might help out!

I keep the base of every character set down, so I understand how that character behaves, and when I already know their backstory and how they react/behave to other characters, it makes their actions easier to put in a scene rather than plan out properly. Instead of asking myself “Hmmm how would they react to this-” I can trace back to those details I already know, and help myself realize how they would respond.

For instance- the comic I have in the works right now is much easier than the other ones I’m not working on >3>.. because it has Fell and Fell Undyne, who I’ve drawn a lot and grown attached to and they’ve got a lot of history with each other and they interact in fun ways. I haven’t done that much of Swapfell Papyrus, and Underfell Alphys. While I definitely relate to these two- it’s REALLY hard to figure out their ‘base’, especially since Alphys’s Past comic starts with how hers will be built, and show what she grows into and why- IT’S SO COMPLICATED AND I NEED TO LOWER MY STANDARDS SO I CAN JUST DRAW IT AND GET IT OVER WITH.

Anyway, that was a bunch of rambling.

So yeah, first: Character basics. Then I move onto the plot. 

I have a vague setup for the comic I work with, and while I wish I could put more details in, it seems like this is how I like to work and there just isn’t any way to fix it lol.

Also before these spoilers are notes of what the babybones behaviors are like- they’ll help me understand how the babies act and get an idea of how Fell can respond to them throughout the comic. This is normally what I have noted down when I bring any new character into a comic, so I can understand how they’ll act first, and how my characters can respond/behave around them.

These notes I’m showing, will be the first scene I’m working towards, so from point A (the start of the comic), and the goal is point B, here: (spoilers ahead! But vague spoilers, it doesn’t even spoil the first page)

(Thank you Anon Paps for the ideas!)I mean there’s not much, so I need preferably a point C which is here:

and other than that, the rest is in my head, but I can summarize it fairly simply. With Undyne’s help Fell decides to take care of the babybones (UT Paps asks him earlier in the comic to take care of them but the kids make everything difficult for him so he needed to talk to someone), suddenly ghost, things get a bit easier and something happens with Levee to make him a lot more tolerable. 

There was an idea of Fell protecting the kids after something, but I can’t remember it, I might bring that in if I figure it out lol. But yeah the comic will mostly be meant for cute/funny stuff and to encourage myself to draw more, which is how I’ll plot out the inbetween’s for each point. I also have a vague ending planned but that’s a secret :D…. and not noted down *quickly scribbles it down*

ANYWAY TO THE SCRIPT.

So while Paint Tool SAI version 2 has a text feature- I usually write out my scripts on Open Office Writer (Basically microsoft word, but free) and try to keep it to AT MOST, one A4 page. This depends on what’s happening in the page and how much talking is going on. In the past I’ve had to cut pages into two because there’s too much text.

Script for page 2: (Might not be full script, there’s more to this but it might not fit on one page AND I KEEP FORGETTING A BIT OF IT)

(Out of context script is hilarious omg)

Obviously not shown: There’s a panel break (Silent panel) between a point in this script so far. After Fell says he’s going to call someone else, it’ll show Undyne looking extra confused, then Fell calling another number. 

So with my script I have a basic idea of what’s going to happen (or in the case of funny comics, usually a punchline to work up to) and build the page in my head as I script. If it doesn’t work then I do have to redo the script or even cut out scenes I like because they wont work. It happened a lot in the Drinking comic.

I guess the easiest way I can explain it is, the Point A, B, C and finale are the important points that HAVE to happen, and I consider every scene between that a mini point I can reach, but I don’t have to and it’s ok to cut them as long as they don’t mess with the main points. (…Although they can. All the shenanigans between Short Fell and Fell changed a lot of the other plot points I had, honestly most plot points are changeable, but I usually pretend they’re fixed so I have an idea of where I need to go. WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS THE START AND FINALE OK-)

It makes it much easier since Papyruses and Undyne’s are so.. enthusiastic, that they’ll usually do something without needing a prompt. I love characters like these.

Anyway, onto the drawing of the page: I don’t have any extensively rough scribbles to show, but I usually try to consider who’s in the scene (and if I have to, turn the perspective a certain way so I don’t have to keep drawing 3-4 characters every panel) and how they respond to whatever they’re given. If they’re in a relaxed scenario (like the Drink comic) then how do they respond? Which characters do they naturally gravitate to?  

I usually plan this stuff during scripting of course but anyway-

I’ve been drawing larger panels lately (Inspired by UnderlineAU) and usually draw smaller ones when the scene calls for it, like a silent reaction, or something happening in the background. As usual- I think that showing the character from the waist up is a good place to start so you can show body language and how they react without saying anything. Do they close off when someone comes near them but try to act friendly- or are they genuinely friendly? ALL FUN STUFF TO FIGURE OUT. 

Anyway, I try not to end the pages on something that’s too..??? That feels too much like an ending, I want people to continue reading, or know that there’s another page. Obviously I don’t cut a joke short and end it on the next page, but what I mean is.. with, say if all the characters said goodbye to each other at the end of one page and it seemed like an ending, then suddenly they’re talking again in the next page- it’d be weird xD.

I think I did something similar to that in the babybones comic? I vaguely recall them saying goodbye, and then having one or two panels to have them talking about the next place, so readers knew there was more. So that’s the kind of thing I mean

…..WOW THAT WAS A LOT.

I’m not sure if I have any more to say lol, but I hope this helps??

[nikatyler]

When you’re reading this, it’s already after my prom. However, when I’m writing this, it’s the night before my prom, I’m freaking out and I’m listening to some Christmas music to calm down. Don’t judge me, okay? I’m not one of those “November = Christmas” people but I like to listen to Christmas songs early. I’ll start decorating by the end of this month. And buying gifts, too. End of November sounds nice.

Anyway, my prom. I’m freaking out. Long dress, high heels, makeup...aaaand I still don’t know what my hair will look like and that freaks me out as well. I’m a mess. When you’re reading this, I’m already at home, it’s all done, I have survived. Hopefully I don’t have a hangover.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON RONNIE HERE! If this wasn’t the best evening of my life then I don’t know what was. I didn’t make a fool of myself, I had a great time, I drank responsibly, I’m just a little tired and sad that it’s over.

It’s actually Monday afternoon now. Oops. I was going to post it yesterday but then I didn’t because anxiety. Basically. I hate myself. (take a shot every time I say something along these lines)

Replies now. Just a warning, it got really long this time and also, technically I spoil something even though at this point it’s obvious anyway so...yeah just thought I’d let you know :D

For some reason I couldn’t get a few of these replies straight out of my activity feed so I went and just did it manually because I knew they were there somewhere. Just saying in case you were wondering why the format is different.

(x)

jackssims:  “Forget her” woooow Ross

elisabettasims:  Ross, you don't deserve to be turned and live forever after that remark.

This goes on the list of the worst things he’s ever said. Not that I have a list like that, but I could start one.

(x)

riversong331:  I swear to god if she dies I’m going to start a revolt

I’m not ready

Well then...you better start getting ready. Just saying.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddy gone again?” December: “Oh yeah, he is. It would be...”

It would be nice if he was there /at all/ for Sunset lbr

Yeah. He needs to work on that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

Yeeeeesssssssss

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

Yesyesyesyesyesyes xD

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

*incoherent screaming*

but this doesn't excuse lack of interest in your daughter, Ross!

The ship may sail now.

By the way, at this point I was kinda scared everyone would just be excited about this revelation and forget Ross is still a bad person who sees his daughter as a minor inconvenience his parents can take care of. I’m glad that didn’t happen, he can’t be forgiven just yet, thankyouthankyouthankyou. I never should’ve doubted you, honestly :D

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddyyyy wake up!” Ross: pretend you don’t hear her, pretend...”

It's really, really difficult for me to like Ross. To be fair to him in this case, a lot of parents have done this.

Ah, yes, sadly...I know people whose parenting is very similar to Ross. :/

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddy gone again?” December: “Oh yeah, he is. It would be...”

I`m soooo close to calling Ross an a-hole

Sorry!��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Sunny, you can’t do this. Your dad - as in me - is a very busy...”

And when is your free time scheduled? When you have grandchildren?

Good question...guess we’ll find out when he actually has grandchildren in the game :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Sunny, you can’t do this. Your dad - as in me - is a very busy...”

Every time Ross says something like this to Sunset I die a little inside

You’re not the only one. I felt so bad writing these lines

jackssims replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Are you feeling a little unwell, brother? Is Sunset...”

Valentine pls

She’s trying to bring my alien jokes back leave her alone everyone

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ooh boy. It was one hell of a nausea.”

*eyes emoji*

I didn’t think anyone would think this was important but then again...we know how I feel about aliens  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING THERE THAT’S YOUR SON’S CLOSET”

It's the small little revenges that are the best.

I wonder how he would feel if he found out. Buuuut I think he didn’t find out, considering...well, let’s just say that closet has seen things. I’m not responsible for that, he did it on his own. I swear.

davidmont replied to your photoset “Look Ross. You’ve made mistakes and we all know that. We all hate you...”

Yikes

Yikes indeed. Deal with your problems, Ross! Don’t just set yourself on fire!

Wait..

Did I just call Sunset “a problem”?

I am officially as bad as our dear buddy Ross. I hate myself.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I love Ross as a character but I hate him as a person (if that makes...”

I like him as a character, too! Contraversional characters are the best

Ahhh yes! He was fun and interesting to write and think about. But he’s the worst. I’m not saying he doesn’t have any good character traits, I mean he’s hardworking for sure...but yeah he’s showing his bad side more

wizardofweather1 replied to your post “I love Ross as a character but I hate him as a person (if that makes...”

I Feel Like If His Parents Let Him Be With Caleb Then He Would Be Open About The Alien Baby Then Ross Would Never Have Went And Attempted To Seduce Everyone In Sight And Happier Ending But This Challenge Is This Way

My “theory”/”explanation”/idk how to call it because I’m tired is similar to yours. I’ll try to explain it somehow because honestly...would I miss the opportunity to talk about my characters? Watch out for a super long essay! :D

Let’s take it from the beginning. At first Ross was just kind of this child obsessed with his “cool vampire friend”. He adored him. When he aged up into a teenager, he went and started dating Carol, his classmate and a good friend. They were the same age and knew each other for a while so...yeah. It wasn’t that hard. I don’t think Ross had any romantic feelings for Caleb at that point just yet. Strong feelings, definitely, but not romantic.

Anyway, fast forward to Caleb getting abducted by aliens because I have no self control. I think that even though Caleb liked Ross a lot, they were best friends, they always had a great time and everything, he knew Ross can be shallow and bit of a dick. Which is why he decided to avoid him for a while. That however almost ruined their friendship, as we’ve also seen.

The feelings most likely started changing at the beginning of gen 2 when they started hanging out again - before drifting apart once more when Ross found out about Stella. During those dark high school times, Ross had this mindset that he wanted to date someone, find the “one true love” as one may call it. He didn’t know who exactly he wanted so he just went and tried all his options...but he was looking for something, someone specific. He was missing Caleb, even though he was also mad at him for keeping secrets and not trusting him. Now, I’m not trying to defend Ross. I would never defend him for this. He was confused and he missed Caleb, okay, cool. Well Ross, guess what, you can miss someone but that doesn’t give you the right to date a million people at once.

Ross then tried to move on when things got more serious with Jordan, but something still didn’t feel right, and then there was Marika who only made this indecisivity worse, and then things turned out the way they did. (I actually believe Ross and Jordan could have been in a happy relationship if it wasn’t for her.) And then Ross started talking to Caleb again and boom the feelings were back and even stronger and it was just a matter of time until he finally realized. Basically. As for Caleb’s point of view, well, I think it’s still too soon to talk about that and this is getting long anyway.

I wouldn’t necessarily blame Ross’s parents for all of this, though they obviously play some role in it as well. Let’s be real, Ross was an only child for a long time and a pretty spoiled one...hadn’t he been so spoiled, he would’ve probably grown up to be a better person, Caleb would’ve trusted him et cetera.

Wow, this turned into quite a rambling, I’m sorry. These are the kind of things I think but at the same time don’t think about, it’s more like a feeling, and writing it down, it gets long. Aaand now I definitely didn’t make sense. I hate myself. Don’t let me do this when I should go to bed, I’m really really tired. Why do I do this to myself. 

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Love gets so much more confusing when you actually mean it. I...”

Everybody but you knew, Ross.

Everybody but him...and me. Yeah. I started shipping them around this scene. I didn’t really think about it before that, in fact at that point I didn’t even know what I wanted to do next romance-wise for Ross. Once I was sure I wanted them to get together, I went back to edit the dialogue a little bit, throw a hint here and there...and I realized that I didn’t even have to edit it too much. I already wrote him pretty much like he’s kind of crushing on him without knowing he’s crushing on him. So like...I hate to say it but I’m just as oblivious as him. That’s concerning. Or maybe I just got so into his character, which is just as concerning.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Love gets so much more confusing when you actually mean it. I...”

Idk, Ross, you’re entire life perhaps?

You’re not wrong

I mean, like I said above, those feelings weren’t always romantic but he has always loved him in some way.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hey. Why did you place that down. You eat that right now.”

I see that frowny face in the tags it better not be what I think it is

Sorry

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “nononononono December please can you like maybe go away? Thank you.”

Gosh this is... Unexpected((

jackssims replied to your photoset “December: “Okay what are you trying to do.” Kieran: “I’m trying to say...”

CALLED IT ��

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “December: “Okay what are you trying to do.” Kieran: “I’m trying to say...”

Nooooooooo.

I remember this clearly. I was going to leave the game soon and go to bed and he was like “oh you wanna sleep? me too but I won’t wake up. bye”

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Oh, yeah. Glad you noticed your husband really is dead.”

It's sadly hilarious sometimes how long it takes it to jump in the queue if they're in the middle of something already.

I hate that. I feel like ts3 is quite the opposite, if something is supposed to cancel everything in the queue, it happens fast. Sims 4 though...

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Persephone made a new friend.”

"Give my best regards to Hades"

This moment was perfect thanks to her name

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Persephone made a new friend.”

I guess the Grim Reaper is still an animal lover. I loved that about him in TS3. It was one of the few things that made pets dying bearable, the way Grim greeted them with open arms and hugs.

Yes, that was cute! Still though, none of my sims animals has ever died because, well, it’s too sad for me to handle.

Well, actually, spoiler alert - Persephone died, but that was off screen, so that wasn’t as bad.

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “December: “I’ll take you to bed, Sunny. I’m so sorry you had to...”

I'm not crying! You're crying! These damn onions

Oh I am crying. I have very sensitive eyes, I cry all the time. (I’m not kidding btw and I hate it)

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Now he’ll never know…anything. He won’t see me graduate....”

He wouldn't be proud of how you treat your daughter. :D

Of course! Too bad Ross doesn’t see it...yet :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Watch out Sun- Nevermind.”

The routing in this game really is something else

ikr? It’s like...in TS3, even a minor thing ruins the routing, sim gets stuck, screams, we all know how that goes, but this one...I’m not sure what I prefer to be fair. TS4 makes it all easier but it’s weird

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Be a better parent for starters, Ross

jackssims replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Be a better parent? Spend time with your daughter?

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Make it up to her!

What a shocker, he now finally sees he sucks, but he doesn’t quite know how to become this “better parent”. Even if it’s so obvious. But then again, this is Ross so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

Ugh.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

/Ross/

At least he understands that he should be here for his daughter’s birthday so there’s that I guess...even though he’s clearly not happy about it so...yeah Ross, you’re doing great, this will definitely make you a better parent.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ahh yes, no more crying, she’s growing up. Maybe we’ll get along now....”

Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, Ross.

*Selfish jerk.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ahh yes, no more crying, she’s growing up. Maybe we’ll get along now....”

//ROSS//

Someone should explain to him that the change won’t happen on its own, he’ll have to take the first step. 

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

I thought it was Sharon. Pretty indeed!

I’m so obsessed with her even though I don’t really talk about it. She’s fun to write, she looks awesome, I love her relationship with Tyler, the way they tease each other, I could go on forever but that could potentionally mean spoilers so I’ll shut up now. I hate spoiling things.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

She truly is ❤️❤️❤️

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

Oh I love her.

Those Breeze genes never fail.

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

I might fight this boi

Let me help you with that

[marshmallow-fireside-keith]

Feel free not to answer! Just saw your post about deleting salty stuff. If it involved the rhetoric surrounding Shiro's ex resembling Autism Moms™, I sympathize :/ I'm autistic too, along with some permanent & life altering mental illnesses (& gay ♀). I am in fandom because it allows me to have some kind of actual social life. To see so many people, even Sheith shippers, act like it was okay for Shiro to be dumped is upsetting to say the least! Why is homophobia bad to them but ableism okay?!?!?

This is incredibly the mood of the hour, my friend. I didn’t *really* wanna delete my salt, as I still whole heartedly believe in what I said (minus that weird bit of abuse. Sorta. That might’ve been projecting my autism experience but given that Adam dumped Shiro over not listening to his wishes, it felt like Adam was controlling and patronizing. So like. Sorta abusive. But I didn’t have the words for that/ no one had the patience nor wish to like… hear me out or poke the issue further. So it became ”SHEITH SHIPPER CALLS NON ABUSE ABUSIVE, LÖÖK @ DIS ANT1 IN SHEITH’S CLOTHING (i want a gold star for that pun btw xD)”. And I was like,

Me@me: do we wanna deal with this?

Me@me: no. No we don’t.

So, unfortunatrly those posts had reblogs. And well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’ll go down as being an anti.

Probably the most frustrating part of autism, for me, is saying things wrong.

Well no, that’s fine.

It’s that people don’t have patience or understanding, or care, to ask thenselves, ”Gee, wow. Ok. So this sheith shipper, clearly not an anti, also has autistic in their url, said something that seems really anti-like, perhaps I should clarify this.” Or even, ”Hm. I’m scrolling this user’s blog and I see there is Clear Distress ™ here. Maybe I should take their words with a grain of salt, they’re obviously having a bad time, as noted by their tags.” Like, I’m human. I fuck up ™ I fuck up badly. Badly. But hot damn.

I’d like to note that for everyone who would get upset at me for ”judging without facts”, has like, yknow, judged with facts, but would choose to ignore it.

As long as I’m not out here being this way all the time, I think it’s fair to say that I’m allowed moments of weakness.

BUT BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND.

My mind cannot be changed. I feel your ask so deeply tbh. Like it’s so Autism Mom. Whether it means to be or not. Like. People used to pat me on the head when I’d try to communicate any complex idea. I am no stranger to being patronized, to people feeling entitled to tell me what to do, or that they know best. And how dare snyone try and belittle that experience because ” : ( You’re not giving him a chance. You’re upset without the facts”.

Fandom is amazing. Honestly. I can barely hold a conversation irl. The only reason people like talking to me is cus I’m like… quiet and know how to just reflect back to them what theyve expressed. Which hides itself as being Wise ™ or Understanding ™ . When really I couldn’t speak opinions if I tried. So these spaces, where I can ramble (I say while funkn rambling. I am so sorry fam. This topic really does just.. yeah. It sets me lff), is important. And I feel like I’ve sorta… maybe seen a side of some people that may not have come out otherwise. I’m pretty shocked, tbh.

Anyways. Thank you for reaching out! I hope you’re ok. And like, know that you’re valid. Absolutely this debate feels Autism Mom-esque, and me keeping quiet isn’t me backing down from that. Or saying ”well no jk, it’s not”.

[frenchibi]

15, 21, and 25 for the fanfic ask if you don't mind~ Also, what does the 'liberal me' on your page mean?

Hi anon, and thank you very much for asking!

Just to clear up your question there before we get started - “libera me” is latin (”free me”) and it’s a quote from a song that I’ve had stuck in my head for like 3 months because I sang it in my choir xD It’s… rather religious (which I am not) but I really enjoyed singing it? Have a link, if you’re interested (it’s classical, so idk if it’s everyone’s thing lmao); skip to 1:17 if you just want the choir part without the solo beforehand, and to 2:48 if you want the specific part I’m referencing, without the buildup xD

It’s… very dramatic and I love that :D The actual lyrics are something along the lines of “free me, God, of eternal death, on the day of mighty dread” and then “I am made to shake and tremble, I fear that day of calamity and misery” or something, I don’t really know enough latin to confidently translate them :’D It’s all very apocalyptic and super epic to sing in a choir hdfjklahshsdf

Anyway, moving on to your questions, before I get caught up rambling about how much I love choir again - this was supposed to be about fanfiction after all xD

15 something you learned this year

Well. I took on a project, as you may know, of writing one chapter or oneshot per week - and I kept it up until July, when I had a series of huge breakdowns and finally got help for my depression - I’ve since put that project on hold because I can’t handle the pressure yet (it started out fine though! I had fun with it for the first half of the year!) - what I learned through it is that writing, for me, is about discipline. I can always write, and if I want to, I should. I should only write when I want to, though, because that produces the best results. Am I making sense? Idk. I’m resolved to write more than ever, but to give less craps about the numbers - which I was rather obsessed with, regrettably. That made me miserable. So no more of that from now on.

21 most memorable comment/review

Boy, you want me to pick out ONE?

I know this isn’t fair at all because I have gotten COUNTLESS fantastic comments this year and as soon as I start mentioning people I will forget someone, I just know it. But I do want to shout out to some of my favorites…? I hope I don’t inadvertantly offend anyone.

@josai was my writing companion for the better part of the year and while not all of her comments were public, they were the most encouraging thing EVER. You gave me the courage to post my work, you always listened to my ideas, and you had heaps and heaps of enthusiasm for me. I feel like I could never thank you enough.

@hajiiwa always leaves wonderfully thoughtful comments - I deeply appreciate your insight(s) and I absolutely love discussing theories and characterizations and fic ideas with you. We seem to be of similar opinions a lot of the time, which is great and encouraging, but sometimes you open my eyes to things and I’m really grateful for that :D

@greenstickynotes is the champion of keysmashing AND heartfelt emotional responses - your comments are always highlights, but even moreso I enjoy and savor your snapchat reactions because they are full of real, raw emotion that I cannot believe resulted from my writing. Honestly, you are a gift and I hope you never stop yelling.

@joanofarcticmonkeys is wonderful and supportive and takes time to comment even when she’s busy. Also she always sends prompts and she gets so emotional over my writing that she yells to her other friends about it (who are not even in the fandom?) - you are fantastic and I hope you know how much I love you.

@distinguisheddelusions is a recent commenter but their comments are pages long and they’re the most in-depth analyses I have ever received. I treasure and cherish every single word and thought they spend on my writing and characterization. They’ve been going through my works from back to front and commenting on my progress and I could just. weep tears of joy. Thank you so much, it’s the most validating thing EVER.

@marleeb left me a comment that I can’t get out of my head - it took me ages to answer because it made me so emotional? It was incredibly supportive and uplifting and just... exactly what I needed to hear to boost my confidence. I’m eternally grateful for that, honestly.

25 a fic you read this year that you would recommend everyone read

I haven’t been reading many fics actually - if you want recs, you could check out my bookmarks on ao3? - but I HAVE been reading books, and I’d like to recommend some if that’s okay instead…?

Dear Life by Alice Munro is a collection of short stories that is moving and important and just. Stuck with me. She won the Nobel Prize for literature for this book, and I think with good reason. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho is magic, plain and simple. A lovely tale (and it really is that, a tale) about finding yourself and your beliefs and I have re-read it at least 5 times. It’s stunning and beautiful and memorable.

Topics About Which I Know Nothing by Patrick Ness is a delightful collection of short stories - very diverse in the styles, but each one of them works remarkably well and I just loved reading it. So vibrant and colorful!

The Princess Saves Herself In This One by Amanda Lovelace is a collection of poems tying together to paint a stunning and startling picture of a woman who went through a hell of a lot to get to where she is - but she saved herself, as the title says. This book was a gift from @notinvidia and I read it in half a day - I devoured it, and I’m really, really glad I did. I didn’t think poetry was my thing at all, but here we are. Go read it.

Alternatively to that last one, read Milk And Honey and The Sun And Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur - stunning and immersive and expressive and just… important poems, the lot of them. They’re accompanied by art, too, and they’re all just so… full of life (and love and suffering and recovery) and it’s utterly fantastic and beautiful.

…okay, I think that’s enough raving for now. Maybe I should write book reviews? I’d enjoy that tbh. Would anyone be interested in reading them? hasdflasdh I might make some changes to this blog, or make a sideblog for my varying interests…? I’m just afraid I wouldn’t have enough energy to manage several tbh… and this blog is already a mess of everything, but I tag, so… it should be okay? xD Idk man. That’s a question for another day.

IN ANY CASE thank you so much for your questions, anon, I really loved answering them and I’d love to talk more about fics and writing, so feel free to ask away!!

[franeridart]

Opinion on serobaku and serokiri?

SeroBaku kills me in the sweetest way and SeroKiri brings me back to life when I feel dead inside and SeroBakuKiri is like heaven on earth tbh I love those ships they make me feel warm !!!

Anon said:Yes but i loved minas hair like that??? So either ur hair is also p good or ur art is just that great n I’m %99 sure that it’s both, also r u ever planning to post a picture of urself?? ? I’m sorry if this question makes u uncomfortable, have a nice day!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh thank you!!!!! And pictures aren’t really my thing so that’s probably not gonna happen, but I assure you you’re not missing anything by not seeing me, anon hahaha

Anon said:Fraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan! ilu

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ヽ(o♡o)/ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Anon said:Imagine Bakugo drawing pictures of his squad without them noticing. Like Kiri looking out a window or mina and Denki trying their best to study or sero scrolling on his phone. I wonder how they would react to finding his sketch book

I’m sobbing this is so nice ;A; Sero and Kaminari’s reaction would probably be along the lines of “how is this guy good at everything” haha I like the headcanon of Mina drawing too so her reaction would be a bit different, probably, but still very very awed 

meanwhile Kiri is on the ground dying

(Kiri is me)

Anon said:Lately I’ve just like…. Noticed but all your art is such high quality and honestly it looks so so good. You have such a lovely style and it’s so original and distinctive and I’m love it and you so much. Plus!!! sometimes I’ll just look through your art tag and even though I think it all looks great I can tell you’ve improved a lot, and, idk, you inspire me to work on my own art constantly and thank you!! I hope you have a lovely day!!

Oh my god this ask slayed me ???????? thank you so much ;A; jesus this was so damn nice I dunno how to react at all !!!!!!!!!!!! I hope your own art is coming along great, anon!!!! I’m glad my doodles can make you want to have fun with it too!!!!!

Anon said: i absolutely adore your art style ! it’s so unique and fascinating and pretty i die

Welp thanks to this ask I die too so it’s two of us anon o m f g (thank uuuuu)

Anon said:Ahhhh the dorm life comics honestly made me smile so much I love them the way you portray all the characters is always so nice and asfhdjd your art is my favorite AND listening to you ramble in the tags honestly makes my day better I love it 10/10 bless

This is it, they day Fran honest to god dies, cause of death: yall being way too sweet for me to take holy s m o k e s ( ;A;)

Anon said:Do you think the UA teachers hang out like the kids do in the dorms?

YESSSSSSSS Aizawa and Mic are high school friends so I’m pretty sure it’s canon they waste time together, Blood King and Dog Hound are canon pals too so they also most probs chill together too! Blood King is also the same age as Aizawa and Mic so they probs used to go to school together too!!! And with Dog Hound being 32, Midnight being 31 and Cementoss and Thirteen being 28 they’re more or less all the same age, so I like to think they spend free time together~ some scenes with the teachers make me think they’re good pals with the older ones too, it’s a really fun group of people to be honest!

Anon said:I wonder what Kiri would do if Bakugou had the flu…Or what they would do if they stepped on Legos XD It’s a funny thought. I love your art so much, you’re my favorite Bakushima artist!!

Anon said: Omg your art gives me life. I was just wondering what happens when the bakusquad get a sick? Thank you

Thank you to both of you!!!! And I could give you both my take on this, but would I be able to make it better than BnHA SMASH did? Probably not, that thing’s so hilarious t b h hahaha

Anon said:OMG IS JIROU PLAYING UKULELE?! I PLAY UKULELE!!! OMG

Yes she is!!!!! I like to think Jirou’s got at least basic knowledge for how to play any instrument ever, so when she’s laying around in the common room once she got used to her friends listening to her play she’d bring with herself the smaller and easier ones to carry! An ukulele has a super nice sound and is small enough to bring around the dorms haha

Anon said:fran!! hi!! Ur comics actually make my life 50% better everytime i see them so thanks for cheering me up everytime you post!! They’re amazing and so is everything u do!! (Love ur art style btw)…. So besides all the compliments, i have a question!! What’s your opinion on AU’s where bakugou is deaf? Would u ever draw something related to it?

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I think I already answered this question? At some point? But I can’t find it, so in general my take is that I highly doubt Bakugou’s body isn’t built to withstand and not take damage from his own quirk (since his hands are made to hold up with it, I feel like the rest of his body is tailored around his quirk too), but I’m always up for disabled characters and the idea of Bakugou signing is beautiful to me, so I don’t mind the AU one bit! Dunno if I’ll ever draw for it tho, drawing jsl when I don’t know it is hard. I know that from experience.

That said, I do find the fics in which Bakugou becomes deaf because of his quirk a bit hard to believe most of the times? Because in all of them his ears are the only things taking damage for the continuous use of his quirk and I just sit here like, his eyes should be taking damage too. Normal eyes aren’t made to withstand explosions and stun grenades every day all day, so if his ears aren’t biologically made to hold against his quirk his eyes shouldn’t be either. 

Like, I read those fics and I find them real hard to believe because the authors aren’t pushing it hard enough, for me it’s either no damage at all or hoh AND visually impaired Bakugou, boy can’t be only half built to withstand his quirk that’d just be silly haha but that’s probably just me, the AU is Good 👍

Anon said:The Mirio eyes on that last pannel. Everyone needs Mirio eyes. (also don’t even try to convince anyone Kiri doesn’t steal Baku’s sweaters too)

He started doing so once he found himself with no hoodies left - he isn’t the type to just steal people’s clothes, I think, but if Bakugou started doing so first he’d probably find it acceptable to consider all their hoodies fair game hahaha

Anon said:Oh my god I absolutely adore your art so much. Every time you post something I get so excited! Your art is honestly so cute and it never ever fails to cheer me up. If I ever need inspiration or motivation to draw something especially cute, I come to your blog and look through your posts. Your fluffy art makes my heart clench and makes me grin like crazy. I just… I have so many feels about your art. It just makes me so very happy!

Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood thank you!!!!!!!!!! Holy smokes!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so so happy my stuff can make you inspired to draw ;A; aaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! this made me so happy holy he ck ;u;

Anon said:Hey… thanks for all the stuff you do. It’s really great and I just wanted you to know that. Thanks………….❤️

No anon thank you for this ask, oh my g o d ;U; *sob*

Anon said:I don’t know if you readed the fic “communicate with your body” of xx_kuuhaku_xx, but If you haven’t done so, read it please. I think you’d love it

It’s the merman!Kiri one, right? I read it!!! A bit too much smut in it for my tastes, but I did like it a lot!!! ヽ(o♡o)/

Anon said:AHHHHH!!!!!! IM CRYING!!!!! I LOVE YOUR ART SO FUCKING MUCH ITS JUST SO FUCKING GOOD AND THEYRE ALL JUST SO FUCKING CUTE AND FUCK I LOVE ALL OF YOUR KIRISHIMAXBAKUGOU HEADCANONS AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR ART AND THIS BLOG SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU A LOT TOO ANON OH MY G O D THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:i just started watching servamp cause i remembered you talked about it before and i like it a lot?? kuro is #relatable and all the voice actors are so good wth 

Anon said:OKAY HI FRAN IM THE SAME SERVAMP ANON AND WTF IM CRYIBG SAKUYA AND HYDE MY SONS im so emotional over the last episode it didnt explain anything im gonna have to start the manga now and the movie and specials dont have subtitles yet help me im dying

ANON IF YOU’RE PICKING UP THE MANGA YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO THE START - the anime messed it all up, there’s a lot of missing things since the beginning!!! The anime is beautiful but the manga is 100% better, I hope you’ll enjoy it!!!!! *O* (…once you get caught up with it you’re free to come yell at me, the current arc is killing my soul)

Anon said:Fran!!! Your last comic!!! About Bakugou with a crush!!!! ITS SERIOUSLY SUPER GREAT no really, I usually see Kirishima as the one portrayed with a giant, blush-when-he-texts-me crush, but Bakugou!!! He’s a teenager too are you telling me the whole heart fluttering thing wouldn’t happen to him?? Ofc it would!!!! (He’d be kinda pissed at first, like “what is this weird feeling”, but I don’t think Bakugou would be exactly averse to it, after he realized his feelings??) Anyway TY FOR CRUSHING BLASTY

YOU ARE!!!! WELCOME!!!!!!! I love smitten Kirishima, but the lack of giddily in love Bakugou in this fandom hurts me a bit - love is a happy feeling!!! Mostly so if you can tell it’s probably required!!! And Kirishima’s super obvious about his feelings so Bakugou being able to tell is highly probable!!!!! And Bakugou can be his grumpy self all he wants, but if he’s in love he’s gonna be happy about it when Kirishima’s sweet to him!!!! That’s how I see it, at least hahaha

Honestly tho that’s my favorite sort of love, the one that makes you unable to hold back a smile and makes your stomach flutter and your heart clench in the good way, I want both Bakugou and Kirishima to feel like that about their relationship~

Anon said:On the comic captioned he’s got a crush I literally squealed it was so cute!!

;O; I’m glad you liked it omfg!!!

Anon said:I wanted you to know that your Kiribaku comics give me life and they always brighten my days! I also have a question if you don’t mind… will we see more of the domestic with kids au? Your Kiribaku dads are so adorable it’s kind of ridiculous. Thank you for all the art you share with us!!!

Thank you for liking it, anon!!!! And maybe! If I feel inspired and find ideas for it, why not! I don’t personally deal with kids often so ideas for that AU don’t come easy haha but maybe!

Anon said:You get so many notes on your artwork… do you like actually read any people’s tags on them? Because I know I have had some e m b a r r a s s i n g tags of me yelling with excitement 😂 I hope you don’t ever read those and just face palm at my stupidity. Haha anyway that’s my way of saying I love your stuff and just yell about it a lot.

………………..I do read all tags tho :O so I definitely read yours too, but whatever they were if it was yelling with excitement they made my day, 100% for sure, you’re the type of person I post my art for, anon!!!

Anon said:tfw even tho he looks kinda ridiculous, bakugou still manages to look good with that hair and outfit

Well, I still find it uncomfortable to look at l m a o but yeah he’d look good in nearly anything, he’s just that pretty ( ⌯◞◟⌯)♡

Anon said:Asdffhjllvdrhbhsd jakugou jatsuki I died oml thank you I’m still laughing and Jakugou looks Fabulous™ in your style and I’m so lame ASDFHJKLL HE LOOKS GOOD AND I’M CRYING LAUGHING BLESS

Anon said:i’M crYING JAKGOU JaTSUKI what beautyyyyyy omfg

GLAD I COULD MAKE YOU TWO LAUGH OMFG HAHAHA

Anon said:your art really catches how good Bakugou looks in those jeans (I bet Kiri really appreciates it too)

*sob* thank you !!!!! (and Kiri appreciates Bakugou however he looks 👀👀👀 he’s smitten)

Anon said:Just a stupid anon here to say I love your art and I hope you have a very lovely week! ^^ (no need to reply~)

Of course I need to reply :O you’re being so sweet, anon, thank you!!!!!!!! I hope you’ll have a perfect week too!!!!!!

Anon said:Hello!As a young poly person who found your blog before I had found love and realized I’m poly, I wanted to thank you. Your bokuroteru helped my feel okay with myself as I realized, and although I’m sad to see it end, I’m glad it’s a happy one! I have the “You polyamorous disaster” panel as my computer background!! Thank you! (also your style makes me happy, all bubbly in the heart and all) Yuuji is one of my fav characters and I love this ship as well!! Just.. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ANON you’re the reason why I draw polyamory oh m y g o d I’m!!!!! so happy the comic could help you along!!!! I wish you the best of luck in your romantic life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:FRAN. BAKUGOU and CATS. Omg all of the kitties just love him and he’s like GTFO leave me alone you furry fuckers but they love him and he’s gentle with them and he’s scared to touch them sometimes bc of his explosive sweat makes fire hazards and omg they just attack him and he thinks he’s gonna die bc he loves them too!! Fran, sweetie can you picture this?? Can you picture Kirishima’s reaction?? Like full on red blushy explosion bc omg he’s in love with a dandelion precious ball of rage Fran omg

Oh my god yeah of course I can Bakugou being an animal person is my fave headcanon ever!!!! This is so sweet too!!!!!! Oh my g o ds, thank you so much for this ask aaahhhhhhhh ;A;A;A;A;

Anon said:FRAN. My litERAL WEAKNESS LIKE KRYPTONITE LEVEL WEAKNESS IS BAKU LAUGHING. AND THE SNORTTTT. FFFFFF holy shit did not realize caps lock was on haha. BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. so much!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bakugou laughing is something real special isn’t it, I so hope we’ll see that happen in canon soon!!! (⸝⸝⍢⸝⸝) ෆ

Anon said:Your OCs are so cute!! ❤️❤️❤️

*SCREAMS* THANK!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you ship bak*deku too?

Not romantically nor sexually, no! I only wish them as really really really good friends~

Anon said:Ahh I’m crying because I was the Bakugou laughing anon and I was thinking about his laugh all freaking day too

It’s been four days and I’m still thinking about it so honestly, seriously thank you again, anon!!!

Anon said:Hey, did you see Tanaka in the few latest chapters of HQ? Such a precious lad, look at him go 😍 I swear no one deserves him (expect maybe you)

“except maybe you” are you out to KILL ME ANON OH MY G O D ;A; thank you - but YES he’s being amazing isn’t he!!! He makes me so happy, such a good boy, such a good character, I’m glad he’s a thing that exists in my life ╰(✿´⌣`✿)╯♡

Anon said:hi fran just wanted to tell ya that I used to love your art before BUT THEN i started drawing myself and now I realize the pain and struggling of shading and anatomy and expressions and let me say i appreciate you 100% EVEN MORE now, and if I used to love your art now I freaking ADORE it!! (also fun fact I actually started drawing bc of you, im uh,,, super executive dysfunctional so I could never get around to doing it before but YOUR ART SERIOUSLY INSPIRED ME THANK U DRAWING IS TOUGH BUT FUN)

Thank you???? So much???? Oh my g o d I’m so happy I could somehow help you find the focus to try drawing out! It is a pain, but the more you do it the easier some basic things get and the more fun you’ll have with it, it’s such a tough but rewarding hobby to have! I hope you’ll enjoy it as much as possible, anon!!!!

Anon said:FRAN IS IT WEIRD THAT WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT U I THINK OF U AS A MIXTURE OF BAKU AND KUROO AND KAMI

OMFG WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE EVEN T H O HAHAHA

[crazy-grrrl-on-the-computer]

For the really long number ask: questions by 10. :D

Oh boy, so many questions! Thank you, Speedy~ XD

There is a lot oftext (mostly rambling) below the cut. I would have had this posted sooner, but I’ve beenpreoccupied lately. ^^’

Feelfree to send me more questions~

~.~

10:The word that I use all the time to describe something great?

Hmm, probably “awesome” or “amazing” getoverused by me a lot. XD

20:Favourite video games?

FFFFFFFFFFF THERE ARE SO MANY!!!!!

Of course, you know me and how much I love HatofulBoyfriend. Those games will forever have a tight grip on my heart. >vBut also the Persona games I’ve played. *sobs* There are so many versions ofPersona 3 and Persona 4 by now, including their crossover sequels and whatnot.I love them so much. And Persona 5 is currently breaking my heart, but it’s sogood~ Also, we’re finally getting P3 and P5 dancing games to accompany P4:Dancing All Night, and I am so ready for that!

I’ve only played through Hakuouki: Demon of the FleetingBlossom so far, but I really want to play some of the other games at somepoint. I keep seeing stuff about them and I need it because the story andcharacters are so good. XD

Dream Daddy is also shaping up to be a pretty good game,from what I’ve played of it, so I can toss it on the list here as well~ ;P

There are way more games I could mention, but these ones areespecially important to me right now, so I’ll just leave it at that for themoment. =P

30:Eye colour?

My eyes are hazel. It depends on the light, but sometimesthey look more green and other times they look more brown.

40:What do I think about most?

I don’t actually know what I think about most. o-o

I try not to be this self-aware because paying too closeattention to my thoughts tends to stress me out. But, I mean, I do very oftenhave moments where I stop and go “oh my god, I love my girlfriend so much,she’s so cute, how is this possible” because I’m a sentimental dork and mybrain won’t stop reminding me. Also just as often over the last year, I’ve hada lot of thoughts about how I miss my dog and my cat, too. But I’m one of thosepeople who stops and notices/remembers really cute things and then has anemotional moment about how cute they are, so I tend to think about how cute myfriends are or how cute an animal is or… similar cute stuff. Because I’m anemotional sap.

Also, I’ve pretty much always got magical boys or birds onthe brain, but literally no one is surprised to hear that. XD

50:How do I destress?

I either play a game I like or listen to music (unless whatI need at the time is to shut out the world and all the noise that comes withit); try to read something or work on my writing; watch a show or movie thatmakes me happy as a distraction; or sometimes scroll Tumblr or just the tagsfor a thing I like a lot, mindlessly Liking/reblogging things.

You can tell I do that last one a lot from my various wallsof spam on everyone’s dashboards. ^^’

60:Pet peeve?

I have a lot of little pet peeves, but the one that comes upa lot is grammar. More specifically when people write “defiantly”when they mean to say “definitely” or when they incorrectly abbreviateet cetera as “ect” instead of “etc” aaaaaaaaaaaaah whydo people do this?

I mean, I understand that auto-correct is a thing and willmake you regret every typo you ever make, and I understand that mixing upletters and confusing words is common for a lot of people. So, I don’t get tooupset when I see it, but. How on earth did“defiantly”/“definitely” become a thing? Like… why? Idon’t understand. It drives me nuts just thinking about it.

But the “etc”/“ect” thing will alwaysbother me because it may have started as a genuine typo somewhere out there,but then people started thinking that “ect” actually WAS theabbreviation for “etc” and… no… Seriously, click on that link upthere and read the definitions of both abbreviations. There is a very cleardifference and it makes me want to rip my hair out that people don’t realize.*sobs*

70:Can I sing?

Actually, yes. People really like my voice, but most of thetime I’m really shy/awkward about it. To think I once wanted to be a singer ina band. ;;-;;

I remember going to a sleepover for a classmate’s birthdayparty in 6th grade and I casually mentioned that I liked to sing, so all thegirls in my class who were there wanted to hear and they kinda coaxed it out ofme. They were all super impressed and wanted me to sing them a lullaby beforewe all went to sleep, but I ended up singing them some 60’s RocknRoll musicinstead because I was really into it at the time and that’s all I knew off thetop of my head.

And then in 8th grade, the music teacher at our schooldiscovered that I had a perfect singing voice for the school musical and sherearranged an entire scene in the script just to give me a song so she couldutilize my voice. I had kind of resigned myself to it at that point, so thefirst time I had to sing in front of everyone during rehearsals I justpretended like I was singing for everyone at that party again. And after I hadfinished the song, everyone in the auditorium who hadn’t heard me sing beforewas speechless and I got a freaking standing ovation because they didn’t expectthe quiet kid to be hiding that kind of voice. //dead

Unfortunately, I don’t have a very powerful singing voice,so it didn’t project very well. No matter how much vocal training I was putthrough for it. But because my speaking voice is so loud, I didn’t need to weara body mic for my voice to project to the back of the auditorium. You know thatrule of the stage about how you’re not supposed to turn your back to theaudience while you’re speaking because it muffles your voice? I was told Icould act in any direction I wanted to if it worked for the scene because, evenif my back was turned, everyone could still hear my voice loud and clear evenin the back row. *sigh* So, the one song I had seemed kind of pointless in theend, but the music teacher (who was also the director of the play) refused togive it up. She apparently just really loved my singing voice that much.Instead, she told me to talk-sing the parts of the song that were too high forme to sing loud enough and I thought that was kinda silly, but I did it anywayand it turned out alright. I can sing lower notes quite loudly, apparently,just not the higher ones.

So, I guess that answers the question. I like singing bymyself, though. Sometimes, I’ll sing around people I’m close to or feelcomfortable with. But generally I’m still awkward about it.

80:Can I drive?

Not yet. *sobs* But I’ve been taking driving lessons and Ihave a road test coming up soon-ish. So, hopefully I’ll have my license beforethe end of the year. I mean, technically, I guess you could say that I can drive at this point, but… I’m really not that good at it.

Up to now, the only vehicle I’ve been able to drive is atractor. A car is a whole different creature, though, and I’m having troublefiguring it out… especially since I’m apparently too small to see over theback seat properly and I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to deal with that,since it’s kind of a pretty important thing for backing up. =/

Tractors are way less terrifying and I would much rather usethat as a mode of transportation if given the opportunity. XD

90:Favourite sporty activity?

When I was a kid, I used to like playing soccer and baseballa lot. Now, I enjoy badminton more on the rare occasions that I get to play it.^^

100:Do I have more girl friends or boy friends?

That is a very difficult question to answer because I don’tactually know. I… don’t really think about that much, so I don’t “keeptrack”… and, besides, gender is a weird and relative thing, so who evenknows? ^^

110:Do I like selfies?

I hardly ever take pictures of myself anymore. I used to alot when I was younger and I kind of wish I still did now, but I just don’thave the energy and I feel weird about it. I don’t dislike it, though. I justkeep putting off doing it because I lose interest almost immediately after Ithink about it. This is why I struggle every time someone asks for a picture ofme because I just… don’t have any recent ones… generally. o-o

120: AmI much of a daredevil?

That really depends on the situation. I don’t mind tryingnew things even if they’re a little out of my comfort zone. But I won’t go outof my way to seek out dangerous/crazy/adrenaline-pumping experiences. XD So, Iguess I play it safe more often than not.

130:Favourite piece of advice?

Aaaaah, I think one piece of advice that can be applied tomany situations and is very important to me because it keeps being relevant inmy life is this…

If someone hurts you (whether they intended to or not) andyou don’t know if you can trust them again, you are not obligated to give thema second chance even if they come back to you and ask for one. If you’re notready to risk putting yourself out there for someone who hurt you before andrisk the chance of getting hurt again, you do not have to. Even if they seem tohave changed or say they miss you and want you back in their life, you owe themnothing. You are not obligated to take them back. You are allowed to say no andprotect yourself. It doesn’t matter if that person who hurt you is“family” or someone you used to be best friends with. You don’t haveto open yourself up to risk getting hurt again just because of your previousrelation to them.

140:Do I believe people are capable of change?

That depends on how you define “change” when itcomes to a person.

Personally, I don’t think people can fundamentally change any part of themselves, but I do believe people can grow. In which direction we grow (positively or negatively) determines who we areat any given time, but deep down on the inside, we are, have always been, andalways will be the same person we were born to be. Personality-wise andwhatnot, that is our identity and it’s how we learn and choose to channel thatidentity that makes all the difference. There’s always room for growth, butoftentimes the results are permanent and it’s easy to spiral in the oppositedirection of our desires because we are still affected by our environments andpersonal situations. You know, the whole nature vs nurture thing. That’s howyou get people who used to be good becoming rotten and people who used to be terriblemaking a positive turn around.

I think this growth is what people refer to as“change”, though, and I’m just being nitpicky with semantics becausethe two words technically mean different things in this context. I justdistinguish between them when it comes to this sort of thing because of whatI’ve observed in different people throughout my life and this is the way I’vemade the most sense of it so far. Humans are complex creatures and it neverceases to confuse and amaze me.

150:What is the best decision I have made in life so far?

I… really don’t know. Clearly, the choices I’ve madeleading up to this exact moment in my life have been a mix of good and bad, butthey still all resulted in me being exactly where I am today. And a lot of goodthings have come from it, such as meeting most of the people in my life. Ican’t really say what the “best” decision I ever made was. I’m justliving each day trying to survive, so I don’t consider each individualdecision. As morbid and depressing as that sounds. I guess I’m grateful forwhatever decisions led me to meeting so many wonderful people. ^^

160:What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe?

*looks at the pile of clothes I still need to fold and putback in my closet* I have a lot of pink, black, and white clothes, but I don’tthink either of those colors can be considered the majority of my wardrobe? Ihave a pretty decent mix of colors to choose from.

170:One of my favourite quotes?

I was always a fan of Adam Savage’s “I reject yourreality and substitute my own” because Mythbusters is cool and I liked thecontext in which it was said. XD

180:Do I like shopping?

It really depends on my energy levels. Most of the time, I’mjust not in the mood to go shopping anymore. I used to love it a lot when I wasyounger, especially when I’d get to go shopping with my grandparents and mycousins. But I do still enjoy hanging out with my mom’s side of the family andmy friends, so going shopping with them is more fun than exhausting. So, Isuppose it also depends on who I’m with, too. ^^

190:If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go?

Honestly, I never have an answer to this question, so Icouldn’t even begin to think of one. This may sound like a cop-out, but I thinkI would rather not mess around with time travel even if it were possible. Although,if I did have that ability, I’d probably use it in such a mundane way as tofind out about things (like social events or awkward encounters) before they happenso I could make sure to avoid them like the awkward potato that I am. XD

200:Dragons or wizards?

*slams hands down on table* BOTH!!!! Or even better! Give medragon wizards! >v

210:What is on my bucket list?

Um. I don’t have a bucket list anymore. Well, I mean, thereare a few conventions I’d like to go to eventually, so I guess that. ^^

[smittenbysizablesinners-blog]

About Me

Name: Ronnie (Ron/Ronn or Ronnster is an okay substitute) | I also go by Tequila sometimes. (or Tequi for short). So that would leave ~5 suitable names to address me by! I have no preferences out of them.

Age: in my 20s (probably older than you :P)

Sex+Gender: CisFemale Sexuality: Heteromantic Pansexual (*maybe* more on demiromantic range in romantic-ness... or i’m just super awkward/easily entertained. maybe all of the above, haha) Height: 5′5″ (i don’t rp as myself really so it’s not like this info is relevant. lol. i wish i wasn’t quite as tall.. like being like 4′11 - 5′2 would have been nice... but i’m under 5′6″, albeit just barely, so that’s good at least i s’pose..) Ethnicity: Italian/Eastern European/English/German (+small bit of Turkish) American (basically Caucasian but I have a dark skin tone for a caucasian - olive skin from my Southern Italian and Eastern European (Slavic) [plus that tiny bit of Turkish in me] heritage). I’m technically Jewish as well as my mom’s mom’s mom (my great grandma) was Jewish and so on, but my grandma and mother were raised Catholic, and my dad was raised Catholic so I was raised Catholic (before I left the church as a teen / around 9th grade i left. Shortly after being confirmed in reality, ahaha xD;) Job: Unemployed atm *sobs* but sometimes i help friends or family with odds and ends for money. i used to do colouring commissions (digital). But I usually too to long and would end up feeling guilty about that so i stopped... And now I’m busier than before so I’d like to create content on my own terms with the free time i have. i’m also a student again. Psychology was a mistake. Now going for a International Politics/Studies/Relatioins | Global Peacekeeping degree and my goal is either to do something for state department or work for a non profit or something. I don’t aim to be rich and super successful. Simply being safe, happy, and satisfied is good enough for me. Though perhaps this stunts my motivation towards bettering myself (through good work ethic and stuff. i’m kind of a procrastinating potato person). Likes: G/t (hence having two G/t blogs; G/t is giant/tiny. if you aren’t cool w/ that then idk why you are here??? this blog is for G/t. Not necessarily sfw stuff either. This blog is NC-17+! (so if you are 16 or younger gtfo); I also like everything International - cultures; politics; languages ; architecture; art; FOOD :9 ; places; fauna; I LOVE CELEBRATING THE DIVERSITY OF THIS PLANET  TTvTT ; I’m  a rather liberal person socially, politically and so on. I will never be okay with bigotry of any kind. And I will not tolerate it. Nor bullying. Uhm. Let’s see. i’m kinda sorta socialist and thus kinda have some disdain towards capitalism I’m pro-choice but I hope that you have a good reason for it and not just because “it feels better w/o the condom”; if your all about that, i’d suggest maybe female condoms - though a little wonky at first - they allow for more sensation on both sides. They also can be used as ‘dental dams’. And i’m fairly certain they are free  w/ most insurances. And they can be put in and stay in for hours before use - so you (if female) good go out and have fun and hook up and not ruin the heat of the moment by condom putting on and stuff. Just saying. (hey this IS a nsfw blog, might as well give some nsfw advice haha.) I’m agnostic though I’m sorta leaning towards atheism. I’m just do paranoid/unsure of everything to totally discount religion/a higher being/etc. I just  sorta seriously doubt it. I am not fond of how religion has affected this planet now and throughout the past. But I can’t deny there are benefits to being religious and don’t hold it against people for being religious nor do i blame certain religions for the world’s problems. And Islamophobia, Antisemitism and anything anti-religion in such ways as the two before mentioned things counts as bigotry in my book and if you recall i don’t tolerate bigotry of any kind! I think the world kind sucks because people kinda suck in general, haha. I will never judge anyone personally. I may feel on the inside personal/hurt/angry feels, but I will do my best not to let it cloud my judgement of anyone permanently and it would take a LOT of hate and harassment for me to block anyone. I don’t like blocking people. I feel that is sorta like denying a person’s existence and sorta says ‘you aren’t worthwhile as a person’. And you have to be a total all-encompassing shithead for me to think that. That being said, I know some people with block very easily and my blog just being nsfw content-friendly would lead to blocking. a message stating why you are blocking me - especially if it’s nothing personal - would be nice, however, as I’m a VERY PARANOID person. Speaking of paranoia. I’m mentally ill. This is really  why I write and/or talk a lot. It is a habit out of nerves and awkwardness. And my poor attention span makes long conversation hard - barring if going off into tangets is okay. I will do that a lot. I have one mode and that mode is stream of conciousness. I know my use of many many words can be annoying. Trust me. I know. Please don’t harass me about it. If it truly makes you anxious, reach out to me, and I will try hard to be more concise when reblogging you or if ever addressing you. That is if you’d feel comfortable asking me this. I may not block people easily, but that doesn’t mean won’t. And that’s just a reality that I have to live with. I accept this. But yeah, basically if I upset you in anyway, let me know! I am always trying to better myself. The hardest thing for me would be to not ramble. If it’s something like a certain topic or word bothers you. And I’m currently not tagging it. Let me know. I’m gonna try and be super diligent (and not so rambly) with tags on this particular blog at the very least. though i should do that on every blog tbh...) Anyways, back to being mentally ill. I have Bipolar Disorder Type II (maybe, that is. just switched psychiatrists and my new one things I may just have regular general depressive disorder as my “up” moments are very infrequent and all I really do is be more impulsive/talkative/jittery/etc than usual... and my mood tends to be good when ‘up’.. too bad it comes with the loss of common sense. I don’t do anything physically dangerous though. Worst would be buying something expensive and stupid for no good reason. I’ve done that a few times. 0/10 would recommend, haha. I also have OCD (which is like useless. it gives me extreme focus, but mostly with dumb things - lists, aphabetizing things, researching stuff on the Internet, basically the only good thing is that I can research like a boss, though bad thing is that i end up spending way too much time researching and over do it... I already mentioned my anxiety awhile back, but I’ve been diagnosed with both General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder (i can practically be agoraphobic sometimes and have reculsive spells both online and off - which is why i probably will disappear at some point. maybe i’d come back. maybe i wouldn’t. and if i come back, it could be years before i do. i don’t know so you definitely wouldn’t know so puh-lease do not get attached to me ;___; G/t stuff: The truth is - I mostly like fluff and nice, kind, sfw stuff. At least as a viewer. As I content creator, I like to experiment and broach all kinds of topics, some sensitive. I will have characters that are genuinely bad people. Often I like dark characters that go through some sort of redemption. But I’ve toyed with doing something that is akin to ‘the making of a villain’ where a character starts out benevlent and than after going through some stuff, becomes malicious, perhaps downright evil even... a loss of self maybe have ocurred. I am not shy in having characters with imperfections, but in a realistic way that isn’t bad. I mean, it’s not ideal, but it happens. like blindness or a missing limb. many scars. mental illnesses are frequent in my characters and sometimes in a criminally insane way. However, I aim to reflect reality in such sort of topics, so of course criminally insane characters would be a very small minority compared to perfectly safe mentally ill characters. But, in any case, as I said, I plan on using extensive tags this blog WILL have (some) VORE. But it is NOT the focus of the blog and I don’t really draw vore - well i haven’t really done so yet... And in writing, I tend to making a horror element. Though I am somewhat fond of  “safe” (platonic or not) vore.. I’m rather confused about it and have a hard time considering plausible within my own content. So in my writing it would be fatal and not with any main characters of anything...mostly just poor SOBs and such... Basically, it would be quality content for the vore community as it would likely portray vore as despicable and wrong. As, in a real life scenario, that would be a correct assumption. These would be worlds w/o safe vore (barring i guess immediate puking, but i’m actually kinda disturbed/freaked by things vomit-related. So I’m not sure i’d be able to write that... Maybe i could. It’s just RL vomit that causes me to panic and cry. Drawn stuff or written stuff, as long as it’s not too descriptive or realistic doesn’t really bother me, though i’m not sure i’d say i like it.). Some vore stuff actually upsets me. But thing with me is, I never know when something is going to upset (aka make me cry/angry/uncomfortable/panicky) or whatever, so I just live with any unfortunate run ins with feels as it happens and then move on. Unless, I feel it is condoning a poor behavior and gives a message that is not in line with what you (the writer) indicates it is, then I’ll just nothing. And if i do say something, it won’t be in a hostile way, it would just be hey, x action actually kinda indicates y because of z. just thought i’d let you know if interpretations of this that reflects what i just by readers would bother you. if not, or if you disagree, than that’s cool too. I was just staying that just in case that would bother you and thus maybe you’d want to change things. but it’s totally your decision and i’m not pushing either way. blah blah some rambling because i’m trying not be offending while likely saying things that may offend. I have a hard time not being blunt and firm with my words. So basically take anything I say with a grain of salt. Sometimes I open my mouth when i shouldn’t. If I made you upset, just let me know what i did and why it upset you and i’ll apologize (within reason. like if you were a jerk and i was just like ‘oh stop that shit already’, i’m not gonna say sorry if you were legitmately being a jerk. but otherwise, i’m quick to say ‘sorry’. i’m always saying sorry. sometimes i’m wanting to say sorry but i’m too anxious too. so keep that in mind as well. Uhm. I like M/f and M/m content the most. F/f is p. cool too. Poly Relations that mixes M/m, M/f and/or F/f are cool too (all types of combos as long as there are no “m” with a “F”...not to knock on that, just isn’t my thing.. So yeah, as I hinted, i’m noot really a fan of F/m.. and I’m not gonna make much content with that (though i do have a canon F/m pairing in one of my worlds/series/story/idk what to call it. don’t expect much of them though.). But in all honest, there’s a lot of F/m stuff out there and my content isn’t mediocre at best so it’s not really a loss to the F/m community that i’m not doing much of that.Also, please don’t request content. I may see on your blog at some point you wish there was ‘x’ and/or ‘y’ content and this may prompt me to write or draw something like that. but it might not either. In a nutshell, I do what I what when I want. I know that’s kinda selfish but that mindset - when in connection with just leisure activities keeps me sane!You can ask any question. I just might not answer. If I’m not gonna answer, I respond with something random. And I’m unlikely to respond with drawings. Too much effort. Sorry.In theory, I’d like to RP. But I’m just not the right kind of person for a serious RP. i’d only want to do a detailed, literate story RP and i’d only be able to do like one respond a day - if that. So it’s kinda a waste of someone’s time to RP with me.  And I think I’d just prefer to write drabbles/one-shots or draw my characters or whatever. I don’t give my characters enough love. They kind just sorta chill in my mind not doing anything a vast majority of the time, haha xD So long story short, I’m not RPing currently. Sorry. And if/when I RP, I am not myself. I separate my interest/fantasy of G/t with my reality. Just trying to keep sane. Not trying to knock on people whom identify as a giant or tiny or whateverIDK what else to say. Probably am missing important stuff, while writing too much frivolous stuff, heh... I’ll probably edit this every now and that ^^