#that mattress

[marleysfinest]

hello please can I sleep in a studio ghibli bed it’s urgent

[pangur-and-grim]

giving instructions for how to co-exist with Belphegor

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.

The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.

We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.

I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.

Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.

If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.

It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.

His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”

Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.

He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.

I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.

My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”

He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.

The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.

My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.

[ragnars-tooth]

WE. WERE MEANT TO HAVE WIFI THE ENTIRE TIME. IT'S BEEN IN THE BILLS 😭

[hotcinnamonsunset]

proof that you CAN use math in every day life😌✌🏼

[thinkanamelater]

Sam said "Oh Evan is sleeping" on the voice note she sent so i can imagine it gets leaked and the next day all the media is talking about this mysterious Evan who sweeped the beloved Sam Britain away, who is he? did they elope maybe??

[jasontoddsguns]

John Constantine in crossover comics: Badass cocky occult magician who is about to trick God and the Devil.

John Constantine in his own comics: Weeping in the corner, trying to roll a magic blunt. (Just got back from tricking God and the Devil)

[librarycard]

(Delusional guy voice) there has to be a way

[babys-nsfw-thoughts]

We really need to talk about how good balls are more bc like,,,, mouth stuffed full, nose pressed into their pubes, cock resting on your face,,, the picture of cute, dumb submission,,, you’re not gonna make them cum with any of your licking and sucking but it makes them feel good and it makes you look like a desperate slut,,,, them forcing your head into them, nose filling with their musk, head spinning,,, I’m just a bonus to your jerk off session <333

[winfreak]

This just solidifies for me that Ruby knows Sam wants to fuck his brother.

[the-pineapple-cake]

I hate when you’re reading an interesting fic and then they through in some stupid subtle anti Jedi thing like ‘Oh the Jedi don’t have mattress because comfort leads to the dark side’ and it’s just like. no the Jedi didn’t do that, don’t be stupid, and so now you just can’t enjoy the fic.

[lexithwrites]

Regulus tries to be quiet during sex because he gets embarrassed so James makes it his mission to get as many sounds out of him as he can

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh man! This hasn’t come up in any of the bed asks but: DO NOT KEEP YOUR MATTRESS FLAT ON THE GROUND. DON’T.

Get a flat ikea frame. Get a cheap Craigslist frame. Fortify yourself and get that fucker some ventilation by getting it off the ground.

Your humid human body creates the perfect conditions for mold and mildew growth, even in dry climates. You wouldn’t believe how many people mold up their bed by leaving it flat on the ground. It’s about airflow. It’s about heat dissipation. If you must have it on the ground at least put it in box springs.

Don’t have a moldy bed. Get a bed frame.

For the many folks asking the reason Japanese futons don’t do this is because the whole thing is moved, washed, and left to dry in sunlight. They know leaving it lying there would invite mold.

[scramratz]

:D my entire bed is covered in fiberglass!

[hai-nae]

listened to a song i hadn't heard in a couple yrs, very ghoapy. got a wee bit sappy

[shotmrmiller]

the one for all soap gf cum for lube idea would go craaaaazy with the somno. esp since soap is his usual desperate self who can't wait to wake you up properly whenever he comes back home to tuck himself between your thighs like-

you don't bother waking up fully anymore. just widen your legs, let him stuff a pillow below your hips and he can go to town and leave you alone. you don't lose too much sleep cuz he's quick to come. it'll be multiple rounds but it's fast.

until it isn't. he's lasting much longer, enough to leave you feeling tender. good for him for working on his stamina. (not that it was necessary.)

it must've been quite a while that he's last been in you because this time around the usual dull ache you feel at first is more of a white hot sting that dissipates the drowsy haze you're in.

soap also goes through wild weight changes. suppose it's fitting, considering when he's gone for longer he comes back slimmer. much slimmer. you'll make him a hearty breakfast to fatten him up again. he can invite the boys too, they must also be too thin.