#that mattress

[marleysfinest]

hello please can I sleep in a studio ghibli bed it’s urgent

[pangur-and-grim]

giving instructions for how to co-exist with Belphegor

[foldingfittedsheets]

The mattress company I worked for the first time no longer exists. It was long ago eaten and assimilated by a bigger company. But when I started it was an incredibly intense five weeks of training. I was told I was extremely lucky to be selected, and I was. From a pool of a hundred applicants only fifteen of us made the cut to entering the training program.

The course covered how to talk to customers, how to ask open ended questions, how to close a sale, and product knowledge. I learned a lot, and truthfully my greatest takeaway was a lot of social scripts that I could use in other areas of my life.

We also had a midterm exam and a final. Both included a roleplay element with a trainer and a written portion. They told us when we started that the course was challenging but it was still a shock to come in after the midterm and realize half the class had failed.

I was named valedictorian of training- a dubious honor as it meant I’d done the best in the class, but popular lore had it that valedictorians struggled the most on the sales floor. Lo, I struggled.

Not because I wasn’t good. I was. But because my manager set out to systematically destroy my self esteem. Every sale, every interaction I had was scrutinized and criticized.

If I sold a bed with protectors, moveable base, and pillows he’d ask why I hadn’t managed to sell pillow protectors too. His first trainee had thrived on being challenged and he’d never bothered to learn a different way to coach.

It was wretched. My performance started strong but nosedived after a few weeks with him. My trainer, a man I loathed for stonewalling me in my interview, came in to inform me I was on new hire probation. If I couldn’t get my sales numbers up I’d be let go.

His actual phrasing was, “When you have a bandaid do you like to rip it off or pull it slowly?”

Since it was eminently obvious why he was visiting and because I thought it was condescending I sweetly informed him that I liked to soak my bandaids in hot water so they come off on their own.

He was briefly startled at this derailing but then got on with the bad news. I signed some forms stating that I understood my job was in peril.

I went home furious. I thought long and hard about why I wasn’t succeeding and how frustrated I was with my manager. I came in the next day and my anger had crystallized into a cold sharp edge.

My manager opened his mouth to address the probation and I snapped, “Just leave me alone. Go in the back if I have a sale. If you must address a serious issue then you will give me praise on two things I did right and present it as a compliment sandwich. Otherwise just say good job and shut up. Your constant nitpicking just makes me anxious and I do worse. Back off.” Belated and begrudging I added, “Please.”

He raised his eyebrows in dim surprise but I’d gauged him well. He backed off. Dutifully he’d meander into the back when I had a sale and praised me when I closed it. I resented knowing it was only because I’d demanded complimented but they still boosted me up. My numbers skyrocketed, I landed my first split king sale, and I exited probation with flying colors.

The trainer came back in to congratulate my manager for turning things around. To my gratification he gave me credit for setting him straight and said I’d taught him a different way to lead. My manager would often genuinely praise that moment when I’d stood up to him, impressed with my stubborn refusal to fail and my insight into what would help.

My biggest takeaway from the whole thing was just that people need positive reinforcement to succeed. Praise people for doing a good job. If you’re ever in a position where you need to criticize someone put it in a compliment sandwich instead of just saying the negative.

[ragnars-tooth]

WE. WERE MEANT TO HAVE WIFI THE ENTIRE TIME. IT'S BEEN IN THE BILLS 😭

[jasontoddsguns]

John Constantine in crossover comics: Badass cocky occult magician who is about to trick God and the Devil.

John Constantine in his own comics: Weeping in the corner, trying to roll a magic blunt. (Just got back from tricking God and the Devil)

[librarycard]

(Delusional guy voice) there has to be a way

[hotcinnamonsunset]

proof that you CAN use math in every day life😌✌🏼

[babys-nsfw-thoughts]

We really need to talk about how good balls are more bc like,,,, mouth stuffed full, nose pressed into their pubes, cock resting on your face,,, the picture of cute, dumb submission,,, you’re not gonna make them cum with any of your licking and sucking but it makes them feel good and it makes you look like a desperate slut,,,, them forcing your head into them, nose filling with their musk, head spinning,,, I’m just a bonus to your jerk off session <333

[fourteenpigs]

Fuck my life because my bedroom will never be as cool as his

[sluttywoozi]

Jihoon lazy morning sex

You wake up entangled with each other from last night and what started out as innocent good morning kisses turns into his tongue in your mouth.

Gentle massages to your hips where he gripped you so hard you had faint bruising. Those turn into feeling you up and a tiredly groaned out. "Fuck, still so wet for me?"

That's all I've got. My brain is mush now

Rating: M (18+) | WC: ~1.2k

Warnings: lil bit of fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, bruises from night before felt but not seen, cockwarming

AN: in my head, this is the somewhere in the middle couple but you don't have to read that to read this (you should read that tho i think it's my fav work of mine, for jihoon at least)

Warmth is the first thing you register as you start to awaken. The warmth of the early morning sun streaming in through the curtains you forgot to close, the warmth of the duvet that covers your naked body, the warmth of an arm curled around your shoulders and a chest beneath your head, the heart inside of it beating steadily. 

The chest vibrates, a low, satisfied hum filling your ears as Jihoon stirs. His arm tightens around you, his other hand taking hold of your waist and shifting you over until you rest fully on top of him in a straddle. Still sleepy, you lift your head and stare at him, watching as he blinks his eyes halfway open and smiles softly at you before puckering his lips. 

Taking that for the request you know it to be, you inch up until you can press your mouth to his in a good morning kiss. It’s gentle, chaste, as are the three others you share immediately after. The next, however, is decidedly the opposite, his hand leaving your waist to cup your jaw and pull it down as his tongue slides between your lips. 

The arm wrapped around your shoulders moves, his touch going first to the back of your neck where he squeezes gently before dragging his hand down the length of your spine, ending with his fingers gripping the flesh of your hip. The tips dig in, finding bruises you didn’t know he gave you, making you whimper into his mouth and reach down to cover his hand with yours. 

“Sorry, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs, immediately gentling his grasp and instead massaging at the fat of your hip with soothing fingers. He pets your soft skin, his hand inevitably meandering to your ass where he caresses and kneads before tugging the cheek to the side to open you up. 

You gasp at the feeling, knowing what his destination is but not knowing how he’ll get there. His touch leaves your face, drifting down your body to skim between your legs, his fingers gliding when he drags them through your folds. 

“Fuck, still so wet for me?” He groans raspily, exhaustion and lust evident in his voice. 

“I‘m always wet for you, Jihoon,” you mumble back, long past denying it to him or to yourself.

“God, you get me hard so fuckin’ fast,” he shakes his head, dipping two of his fingers into your entrance as you feel his cock twitch beneath you. It’s stuck between your body and his, and if you could just get your hips up, you’d be able to sink down and let him fill you and then you wouldn’t feel empty like you do. 

“I want you inside of me, please,” you beg before he decides to draw this out, well aware that if he gets it in his head to eat you out and/or fuck you with his fingers first, it’ll be an hour or more of sweet, terrible torture. 

You don’t think you can wait that long, not when he’s hot and hard and leaking against you. 

“I should stretch you out,” he says, sliding his fingers in as far as they go and scissoring them to push apart your walls. 

“You fucked me less than twelve hours ago, I can take you now, I promise,” you plead quietly, consciously relaxing so he can feel for himself just how pliable you are. He moans like he can feel the difference, and maybe he can because he pulls his fingers out and returns his hands to your hips, grasping carefully this time. 

“Go ahead, baby,” he murmurs, holding you up so you can reach down and align his cock with your opening, groaning in unison with you as your pussy swallows him inch by inch. 

He always makes you feel so full, so whole, so complete, and sometimes, it’s enough to bring tears to your eyes. He knows you, though, knows you’re a bit of a cry baby so he doesn’t get concerned, just wraps one arm around your waist to hold you flush to his chest and fills the other hand with your ass cheek to help you move, his fingers digging in harshly. 

You won’t mind having more sore spots later, not when they’re all evidence of him fucking you. 

That’s what this is, even with you on top. You’re still not in control of anything, not the pace, not the intensity, not the depth, but that’s how you like it. You like that all you have to do is listen and be good, and he’ll take care of you like you know you deserve. 

On the next roll of your hips, he thrusts up into you, hitting so deep, you swear you can feel him in your guts. It makes you cry out and squeeze your eyes shut, your nails clawing at his chest when he does it again. His abs tense against your stomach as he holds you in place and starts bucking into you, the rhythm of his hips almost lazy but the force behind them fierce. 

He fucks you into some sort of trance, the wicked push of his hips and pull of his hands hypnotic, especially with how tired you still are from last night. You think you could even fall asleep like this if it didn’t feel so damn good, his cock dragging against every sweet spot you have as he slides in and out of you. 

Your fatigue makes you even more susceptible to the pleasure, and when he works a hand between your hips and his and sets his fingertips on your clit, you know it’s over. He doesn’t even have to move his fingers, the rocking of your bodies providing enough stimulation that you’re already whining, already fluttering around him, already right there on the edge. 

Jihoon can’t last in the mornings either, and you’re sure that as soon as you start to cum, he’ll follow you. It almost makes you want to hold out just so you can feel this bliss for a bit longer, but there’s also the option of breaking now, going back to sleep, and waking up to do it all over again. 

You like that option, love it, in fact, so it’s easy to let the building wave of euphoria wash over you, a sharp gasp escaping your parted lips as your pussy ripples and squeezes around him. Just like you suspected he would, he groans raggedly and buries his face in your neck, his cock jumping against your walls as his cum spurts inside of you, filling you up to the brim. 

The come down is slow, with syrupy sweet kisses and affectionate words being dreamily exchanged, bringing you closer and closer to slumber. 

“Do you want to get up?” He asks quietly, grinning when you sleepily pout and answer, “No.”

“Good, me neither. Let’s just stay like this.” 

“Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.”

[the-pineapple-cake]

I hate when you’re reading an interesting fic and then they through in some stupid subtle anti Jedi thing like ‘Oh the Jedi don’t have mattress because comfort leads to the dark side’ and it’s just like. no the Jedi didn’t do that, don’t be stupid, and so now you just can’t enjoy the fic.

[foldingfittedsheets]

Oh man! This hasn’t come up in any of the bed asks but: DO NOT KEEP YOUR MATTRESS FLAT ON THE GROUND. DON’T.

Get a flat ikea frame. Get a cheap Craigslist frame. Fortify yourself and get that fucker some ventilation by getting it off the ground.

Your humid human body creates the perfect conditions for mold and mildew growth, even in dry climates. You wouldn’t believe how many people mold up their bed by leaving it flat on the ground. It’s about airflow. It’s about heat dissipation. If you must have it on the ground at least put it in box springs.

Don’t have a moldy bed. Get a bed frame.

For the many folks asking the reason Japanese futons don’t do this is because the whole thing is moved, washed, and left to dry in sunlight. They know leaving it lying there would invite mold.

[winfreak]

This just solidifies for me that Ruby knows Sam wants to fuck his brother.

[lexithwrites]

Regulus tries to be quiet during sex because he gets embarrassed so James makes it his mission to get as many sounds out of him as he can

[scramratz]

:D my entire bed is covered in fiberglass!

[hai-nae]

listened to a song i hadn't heard in a couple yrs, very ghoapy. got a wee bit sappy