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lemonlover1110 · 4 months ago

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𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬

Toji Fushiguro

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Summary: Toji won't tell you he loves you, even when it's so painfully obvious.

Warnings: MDNI, Fluff, Smut, Nipple Play, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Creampie, Slight Angst

*The prologue is here🥹

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi

Toji has never felt more alive before. Toji’s known love before, but not like this. It isn’t sweet or comforting… Thrilling, yeah, he’d say it’s thrilling. He feels like a dumb teenager again, but he loves the feeling.

You’re sitting next to him in the car, singing along to the song on the radio as he drives you home. He has a hand on the wheel, the other caressing your thigh. It’s a little late, but your night is just getting started.

“Your singing is awful.” Toji tells you as he parks in front of your apartment complex. He turns down the song still, wanting to hear your voice better even when he claims it’s bad– That’s how he knows something is wrong with him. Toji would tell you to shut up if you were anybody else.

He turns off the car when the song is over, and you whine because he’s ruined your fun. You quickly get over it when he opens your car door, offering his hand, which you take to prompt yourself out of the vehicle. Your arm enlaces with his before you begin the short walk back to your place.

“Your dad told me to make sure you get home safe, so no funny business.” Toji says, and you roll your eyes at him. He’s the one that breaks the rule first each and every time, it’s annoying to hear him say that even when he’s clearly joking.

“Step-dad.” You correct him, though you know it goes in one ear and out the other. He’ll make the same mistake over and over again. “Since when do you listen to him?”

“Since he promoted me.” Toji responds, which earns a chuckle from you. That’s fair enough. He lets go of your arm, choosing to rest his hand on your lower back until you’re finally at your door.

“Alright, see ya.” You open the door and enter the place without even looking back at Toji. You’re shutting the door, but his hand stops it. His arm wraps around your waist and he brings you back to him.

“That’s not a proper goodbye.” He says, and there’s a smirk on your face. He’s not going to leave so easily, but you aren’t going to let him have his way so quickly. You’re convinced it’s the reason why Toji always comes back at your doorstep, seeking more.

Since the very beginning, you both agreed that you didn’t want something that required commitment. It started off as something casual, but slowly your relationship has evolved. It’s come to the point where you call him your boyfriend to others– Though, when someone asks about your relationship status, you tell them you’re single.

“No funny business, Mr. Fushiguro.” You remind him, and you feel his grip tighten. You can’t keep up the act for too long, quickly melting with his touch. He knows the effect he has on you, and you have to put up a fight at the very least to put off the illusion that you’re wrapped around his finger.

“Since when do you listen to me?” He asks, and you hold your breath. You bite down your lip before slowly turning to look at him.

“You wanted me to take you more seriously this week, and I’m doing what you told me.” You’re fighting back on smiling right at his face. You’re right, you had a minor argument earlier in the week because you ‘treat everything he says as a joke’. He purses his lips together, thinking of his next words. “Do you have an issue with my attitude?”

Instead of answering, he chooses to pick you up from the floor, throwing you over his shoulder before walking inside. He shuts the door behind him and idles in your living room. Should he throw you on the couch or take you straight to the bedroom?

“Put me down, Toji!” You yell, hitting his back with your fist. It causes no pain or discomfort to him, so he’ll ignore you. On the contrary, your fist hurts from making contact with his back. “Toji! Put me down you big buffoon!”

He puts you down, per your request, gently laying you down on the couch. However, he gets on top of you so you really aren’t free. There’s a smirk on his face as he looks down at you, which slowly fades away as he looks into your eyes. His cheeks turn pink as he looks back and forth between your eyes and lips.

He’s in love, he really fucking is. Even at the mere thought of your presence, his heart feels like it's about to beat out of his chest. How can he not love you? You’re so fucking beautiful, and that’s the least impressive thing about you. You’re compassionate, intelligent, hilarious, respectful, responsible– The list goes on. You’re everything that he isn’t.

“Toji, get off me if you aren’t going to do anything.” You stop the train of thought that goes through his head, and he proceeds to listen to you. You sit up on the couch, while he stands up, making himself welcome at your home and going to your kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

“You want some tea?” He asks as if you were the guest in your own apartment. You sigh, standing up from the couch and following him to the kitchen. You stay quiet, and he takes that silence as a no to his question.

You sit on the counter, watching every move Toji makes, in complete silence. Toji appreciates your gaze on him… But he can’t help but feel as if something’s wrong. You’re completely quiet, there must be something wrong.

“What’s on your mind?” He speaks up, not being able to bear the silence for too long. Silence between you is usually a good sign, he enjoys your presence as simple as it can be but there’s something up with you tonight. You’re watching him as if you were trying to figure something out. You shake your head, as if you have nothing to say but he knows you do, “I know that pretty little look on your face, you’re thinking of something.”

“I want to introduce you to my family.” You tell him, and he freezes. He furrows his brows before chuckling.

“Your family already knows me.” He answers, though he knows exactly what you mean. He’ll play dumb, that’s what he does best. He hears the water boiling, and he turns his attention to that. He hopes that with his answer, you’ll drop the subject. He doesn’t want to flat out tell you that he wants to keep things a secret.

“Where’s my mug?” He asks, searching the cabinets for the mug that he usually drinks from. That’s how serious things are, he has his own coffee mug at your place. He spots it, behind a nice tea set, one that’s usually hidden away.

“I want to introduce you as my boyfriend.” You continue your conversation as he prepares his tea. He’s more than capable of talking as he pours boiling water into the mug, but he’s not saying anything. Your words fall on deaf ears. “Toji, I know that you heard me.”

“It’s such a big step.” He responds, and you feel your heart drop. A sheepish smile comes to your lips, and you nod in response. You’re not one to argue much, and you definitely aren’t a woman who will beg.

If he’s not ready, then he’s not ready. He knows that you won’t wait around for him forever. He lets out a low laugh before saying, “Plus, I wouldn’t want your dad to kill me.”

“That man won’t be the one to kill you if you keep calling him my dad.” You stick your tongue out at him, and he stops what he’s doing to walk over to you. He loves that you’re sitting on the counter, with little room to escape. His hands go on either side of you, a cocky smirk all over his face.

“You killing me? I’d pay to see that.” His face is inching closer to yours, stopping when he’s practically breathing on your face. His nose touches yours, and you feel your body get hot as your heart threatens to beat out of your body. Your hands go behind him, interlacing on the back of his neck. His voice is much lower when he speaks again, “My big girl hurting me, oh I’d kill for that.”

“Since when are you a masochist?” You ask, and you hear him chuckle. When it comes to you, he’s everything under the sun. He’s looking into your eyes, getting lost in your gaze within a matter of seconds.

He really is in love, it’s fucking sick.

“Since a pretty little thing threatened to hurt me.” His hands go to your thighs, thumbs tracing lazy circles on your skin. If he continues, he won’t stop until he’s satisfied– Not that you particularly mind either.

“Your tea is going to get cold.” You remind him that there’s something waiting for him. You’re just waiting your breath, knowing that Toji has long forgotten about it. The moment he put the mug down, the tea was wasted.

“Good. I always burn my tongue for being too impatient.” He steals a kiss from you, and when he pulls away, you bring his head back. His lips are overpowered by yours, your tongue making its way into his mouth, pressing against his own. It’s more passionate than the innocent kiss he had stolen from you. It’s hard for you to stop once he gives you a taste.

“Toji…” You place your forehead on his when you pull away. You look into his lustful eyes, the urge of asking a question that you shouldn’t ask now, overtaking you. But you will, because in order to get what he wants, he’ll say anything you want to hear. “Do you love me, Toji?”

His hands cup your face and he presses his lips against yours. It’s just one kiss. Then two. You lose count, and you’re getting lost in his touch. You’re melting with his every move, and the desire to hear him say he loves you grows. You’re desperate to hear it, even if it isn’t true.

“Toji, answer my question.” You put your hand over his lips, stopping him from kissing you more. It’s to no avail since it takes no effort from him to remove your hand, and resume kissing you. You don’t stop him this time, instead, you allow yourself to indulge.

You accept the silence as a no, which you won’t take to heart. He doesn’t have to tell you that he loves you when he doesn’t. It’s unfair to him when you agreed in the very beginning that this is something casual. You put him on the spot in hopes that he’ll take what you have more seriously, but he isn’t going to because it isn’t what he signed up for… So why does Toji act so loving?

Your legs wrap around his waist as he picks you up before carrying you to your bedroom. He knows exactly where to go, not needing to look away from you for a single second. He continues to kiss you so needily, he’s searching for something that only you can provide.

“I need you.” He slips in inbetween kisses, which nearly drives you insane. It’s not what you asked to hear, but you’ll take it. He gently lays you down on the bed, once again on top of you and leaving you without an escape route. He kisses you slowly, his lips slowly moving down your body.

Toji’s kisses come to a halt when your clothing gets in the way. He wants to curse at the fabric for covering you up and making his job slightly more difficult. He gets up from the bed and hurriedly takes off every article of clothing that denies him the lovely view of your body. He nearly wants to rip apart every piece but he won’t risk you getting mad at him for it.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” Toji says, licking his lips before tracing back all the places he’s kissed, just this time he won’t be interrupted by anything. He’s going to fulfill himself to his heart’s content.

He kisses down to your breasts before focusing his tongue around your nipple. You feel a warm hand travel down your body, and getting caught between your thighs. You inadvertently get shy with him, even when this has become part of your weekly routine. He always manages to get past it, spreading your legs apart and stopping his mouth to tell you, “Now’s not the time to get shy, beautiful.”

His mouth wraps one of your nipples, sucking on it, as two fingers run through your slick folds. You’re already so wet for him, and he’d tease you for it but his mouth is too preoccupied to mutter a single word. Toji’s priority at this moment is making you feel good– As well as enjoying himself.

You’re softly moaning while Toji flicks his tongue, and his fingers rub your clit. He detaches his mouth from your nipple, his lips going up to messily kiss yours before going back to your breasts. His mouth wraps around your other nipple, beginning to suck as two of his fingers apply pressure to your entrance.

“Toji–” His name rolls off your tongue when he pushes his fingers inside of you. It’s the sweetest melody for his ears, motivation to keep him going. Your voice is all he needs to hear.

He doesn’t waste a single second in satisfying you, curving his fingers so they hit just the right spot. Your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, pleasure already consuming you. Your thoughts from earlier are long forgotten while he’s doing what he does best.

Your moaning gets louder as his thumb begins to play with your clit. It’s getting harder for you to contain yourself, since he’s stimulating you in every way possible. He’s moaning on your tit, the vibrations of his tongue nearly sending you over the edge.

“You’re such a good girl, baby.” He praises you, finally detaching himself from your breasts. His eyes focus on your face and the look of bliss that’s written all over it– And he isn’t even close to being done.

Toji takes his fingers out before the pressure that builds up in your lower abdomen can release. He’s usually not impatient, but his cock is throbbing in his pants and if he doesn’t deal with it soon, he’ll lose his mind. He almost feels bad for leaving you unsatisfied… Almost. The whine that leaves your lips makes a smirk appear on his face, making him comment, “Aw, you need me so badly?”

“Just hurry up.” You respond in complete annoyance. You’re clenching around nothing, needing him to fill you with pleasure. Just for tonight, he won’t tease you more. He just needs you so much, he can’t waste any more time.

Toji strips down from his clothes, spitting into his palm before taking his cock into his hand. He slowly strokes his cock as his eyes watch you… What position will he take you in tonight? Before he can even decide, your legs wrap around his torso. He’ll watch your face contort with pleasure to serve as another stupid reminder that he’s in love with everything you do.

Toji’s cock runs through your folds, slowly inserting himself into you. A soft moan escapes his lips as he feels you around him, feeling too good. This is what he’s been waiting for all night; his definition of a proper goodbye from you.

When he bottoms out he gives you a moment to adjust, until you’re moving for him, a little too desperate to wait any longer. Toji’s hands hold on to your hips as he begins to move for you. Toji hates the feeling– He’s in ecstasy the moment he’s inside of you. He’s addicted to you like a drug, how is he supposed to ever move on?

“You feel so fucking good.” He says through gritted teeth, trying to contain himself. Although he sees that it’s not only him that’s struggling in keeping control. You’re arching your back, eyes rolling to the back of your head and lips parted as Toji hits every right spot.

“It’s too much, Toji!” You’re practically yelling, even when he isn’t doing much. He just does everything right even when he’s barely trying. It boosts his ego.

“You can take it, baby.” He answers as his hand goes down to play with your clit, adding even more to your pleasure. You’re completely putty with his touch. You’re absolutely nothing. It’s hard not to be when a simple touch of his makes you euphoric.

“Toji– Fuck!” You moan, and he fucks you with more vigor every time he hears his name. It fuels him. He wishes it was a sound he got to hear each and every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.

“Keep saying my name, beautiful, it sounds so fucking hot.” He says and you chant his name as many times as he needs to hear it. Your mind is completely clouded, you’ll do his every request with the promise that he’ll satisfy you.

Maybe you should use the situation to your advantage– Hear what you want to hear, but you can’t. Toji’s completely dominated your mind and body.

You get louder as your orgasm nears, slowly taking over you. You’re clenching around him, getting him to moan your name because of the way you feel around him. Your hand is gripping the bed sheets, shutting your eyes as the pleasure of your body consumes you as a whole.

You feel Toji force your hand away from the bedsheet, forcing your fingers to intertwine with his. Your legs spasm as you reach your climax, a loud moan almost drowning out Toji’s words, “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

It doesn’t take too long for Toji to follow your lead, too worked up from the mere thought of being with you. Toji fills you up with his cum, not even bothering to make the effort of pulling out. He never does anyway, he’s not going to change tonight.

Toji pulls out, laying down beside you as you both pant to catch your breath. After this he’ll run you a bath and leave after a couple of kisses, it’s his usual routine. A routine he made to not get attached… A routine that’s gotten him nowhere.

You turn your head to look at him while he stares at the ceiling. The answer is no, but the question still weighs heavy on your chest. “Toji…”

“Hmm…?” He looks back at you, and there’s a spark in his eyes that’s unmistakable. You know that actions speak louder than words but you need to hear it.

“You still haven’t answered my question.” You respond, and a slight frown appears on his face.

“Why do you need to know?” He questions, and you feel your heart is about to beat out of your chest. You bite down your lip, wondering if you should drop it. Never ask him again, even if you know you’ll regret it in the near future.

“I–” A sigh leaves your lips. You can’t hide it from him, even if he doesn’t love you or care for you the way you care for him. “My parents want me to get married soon.”

He knows. He knows all about your situation, more than he’d like to know. Toji doesn’t say anything to comfort you, instead, he brings you close to him. He kisses the top of your head, instead of telling you all that he wants to say. He’s not going to tell you all that you want to hear.

“I’m not worth it.” He mutters. He doesn’t want you to ruin your future for him. Toji wants the best for you; after all, he is in love with you.

Even though it's different from the love he's experienced, he's still in love. No amount of arguing with himself will disprove it.

“What do you mean?” You ask him, hope in your eyes that he’ll say something more. You’d do anything to have him say just a little more. But he shakes his head, refusing to elaborate.

“I’ll run you a bath.” Toji changes the topic, standing up from the bed and walking to your bathroom.

He’ll continue the routine, knowing it’s one of the last times that he’ll get to do it.

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mischiefandlies · 3 months ago

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A lesson in culinary disasters...

Loki x Reader

Masterlist

Notes: Thor is the embodiment of the phrase "thirty going on three". Also, I really had to work to find things that could go wrong with making spaghetti. Luckily, I work with children, so know how sevearly idiotic people can be.

Warnings: nilt

Enjoy!

“There's spaghetti on my ceiling.”

Both Loki and Thor looked away sheepishly.

“WHY IN FUCKS NAME IS THERE SPAGHETTI ON MY CEILING?”

“… well, m’Lady-”

“Darling, I didn’t-”

“I left you two alone for ONE DAY!”

They each share a glance.

“What?” you say dryly.

Thor sighs and turns away, while Loki comes over to you. “My love, me and Thor will deal with this shenanigan. I promised I’d make you dinner, and I'll make you dinner. Just go and relax and I’ll come and get you when the time is right. Perhaps watch another one of those comedic films with Lang, the two of you seem to enjoy those.”

“Thought you got jealous when I watched movies with him?” you said.

“Angel, Lang couldn’t find a single hostage in training yesterday. If he is unable to locate a human sized test dummy, I don’t hold out much hope of him finding a clitoris. Besides,” he continues “I'm sure his penis is just as small as the rest of him.”

You just roll your eyes as he ushers you out the door. “And don’t burn my pans! And so help me God if you break my stove, I’m going to shove that blender straight up your-”

The front door slammed shut behind you. “Loki, I don’t think she is happy with us,” Thor stated. “I see very little chance of you being able to seduce her if you continue to act so childishly.”

“Remind me again who threw pasta at the ceiling?” Loki said through gritted teeth.

“Well, me, but Jane said it is important to use the pan to flip what you are cooking.”

“What Jane failed to mention, you ignorant buffoon, is that is for cooking pancakes.”

“Loki, pancakes are eggs and flour. Pasta, according to this detailed list on the packaging, is eggs and flour. I see no reason why the rules would change.”

Loki put his head in his hands. “Thor, how about I handle the cooking from now on?”

“And what are we making?”

“Spaghetti.”

“And balls of meat?”

“No Thor, just spaghetti.” Loki says, “Let’s not walk before we can run.”

Thor gasped. “But where are the balls of meat? Jane always makes balls of meat to go with spaghetti.”

“Thor, we have no meat.”

The blond just smirked. “I can assure you brother, I have plenty of meat. It is not my fault you are of such scrawny, runt-like nature. Why, do you not remember in our youth when we would play, and you would always…”

Loki left him to his prattling, and used his magic to clean the kitchen, remove the strands of spaghetti from the ceiling, and refill the kettle. He had wanted to make you something homemade, and so had asked his brother to assist, thinking Jane would have taught him something. Unfortunately, Thor was even less equipped to be sue-chef than him. Since you had left them to their own devices, they had made your kettle explode, set off the fire alarm, and Thor had cut his hand. They had since given up on making a tomato sauce and had lowered their standards enough to consider plain spaghetti a meal.

“Thor, snap the spaghetti in half and put it in the pot.”

Thor picked up a handful of spaghetti and instead of holding it in the middle, he took it by the ends, snapping it in front of him and spraying the kitchen in broken spaghetti pieces. His brother just looked on, muttering insults in their mother tongue. He took a pot down and filled it with the water out the kettle while Thor scuttled around on all fours picking up shards of pasta.

“Thor, for the love of all things holy, just put the spaghetti in the pan.”

Thor turns to the pot on the stove, and sticks his fist full of spaghetti into the boiling water, completely submerging his hand.

“AAAAH LOKI MAKE IT STOP”

“Take your hand out the pan Thor.”

Thor flings his arm up, spilling the boiling water all down himself.

“LOKI IT BURNS!!!!”

“Of course it does, its boiling water.”

“FIX IT.”

“No.”

“LOKI I AM KING OF ASGARD. YOU ARE UNDER OBLIGATION TO HELP ME. YOU WILL FIX THIS THIS INSTANT.”

“Thor, as the prince of Asgard, I am not obligated to do shit. Perhaps do as the Midgardians do when they are burnt. Run it under cold water.”

Loki turned away to magic up the complete shambles his brother had managed to achieve (again), and –for the fifth time today- boiled the kettle to make pasta. Thor had clearly misinterpreted his instruction, because he was running the pan under the tap.

“Loki, I fail to see how this is helping, I am still in a great deal of pain-”

The dark-haired god swiped the pan back. “Your arm, you utter cretin. Run the cold tap and hold your ARM under the water.”

Having distracted his brother enough to successfully put spaghetti on to boil, he began to grate some cheese.

“LOKI, I WANTED TO DO THAT.”

“You’d get blood in the cheese.”

“I won’t. I promise. Pleeeeeeaseee?”

“Fine.”

Thor enthusiastically leaps over to grate the cheese, while Loki stirs, drains and dishes out the pasta. In this time, not only has Thor zested the cheese instead of grating it, he has also zested a whole block of cheese and the top layer of skin on his fingers. The cheese was completely sodden with blood.

"Thor, what did I just say?"

"Pretend it's tomato sauce brother? She will never know!"

When you finally return from Langs, you find Loki, Thor, Strange, and Stranges medical kit all sat on your sofa. Thor's entire arm is bandaged, and Wanda and Steve are chatting away in your kitchen, making something that smells delicious.

“Fucksake Loki.”

“I’m sorry darling.” he says, “I tried, I really tried, but it just never worked, and I-”

“I know, love,” you cut him off. “Just tell me if you need cooking lessons, yeah? I can’t say I’m fond of coming home to find my kitchen in a disaster. I’ve just had a long day. I shouldn't've snapped. I’m sorry.”

He wraps you up in his arms. “Me too love.”

“Lo?”

“Yes sweetheart?”

“Have you ever heard of take away?”

#loki x reader #loki x y/n #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fic #mcu loki #tom hiddelston loki #tom hiddleston #loki fanfic

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 4 months ago

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Every Episode of Miraculous Ladybug Season 5 Ranked (Part 2)

Part 1

(This site's stupid 30 images per post forced me to do this, so thanks for nothing, Tumblr)

#14: Transmission

I swear, I'm not doing these on purpose. This is just how I've been ranking the episodes.

Like I said in the last part, this episode just did not need to happen. The first half is cheap melodrama between Marinette and Adrien and the second half is a run of the mill Akuma fight with two different heroes. This is the story that seriously warranted two parts this season?

I just can't stand the fact that Marinette and Adrien gave up their Miraculous so easily here. Maybe if it was Season 2, Season 3 at the latest, I'd buy it, but near the middle of Season 5? They honestly view their love lives as more important than the battle with Monarch. If it was anything else like the stress or physical danger, I'd also be understanding, but Tikki and Plagg decide that Marinette and Adrien are so miserable that they need to be happy by losing their Miraculous without a fight. Remember, this was just two episodes after “Reunion”, which showed Joan of Arc was a Miraculous holder. So fighting in the Hundred Years' War didn't get so much as an ounce of concern from Tikki, but teenage angst is too much for her little heart to bear?

Maybe it's the benefit of knowing this won't be permanent, but the issue I have is how much the show draws this out for so long, as if the audience is supposed to buy it. “It's really happening, guys! Ladybug and Cat Noir won't be the stars anymore, we swear!” This kind of plot can work under the right circumstances. All you needed to do is at the very least, make it something they choose to do instead of their Kwamis taking their Miraculous away so we can see them weigh the benefits of giving up life as a superhero in ways that aren't exclusively about their love lives. I'd even buy it if it's something Ladybug and Cat Noir actually agreed on before quitting.

While I can sort of get Alya becoming Scarabella due to her experience with the Ladybug (even if she chose to give up using any Miraculous at the end of Season 4), Zoe getting the Cat just feels like the writers put a bunch of names in a hat and picked hers. The two just don't have as compelling a dynamic as Ladybug and Cat Noir do, because they don't get a lot of time to know each other. Alya and Zoe have almost never interact with each other, so the masks don't really shake up their relationship, because there's no relationship to speak of.

Also, the Akuma here was really forced. We know nothing about this new character while the show acts like we're supposed to know who he is based on some minor hints with Nora calling earlier. While I will give the show credit for arguably giving us the most powerful Akuma of all time due to being both a man and a bear, he's as forgettable as a villain as Kitty Noire is as a hero.

Just about nobody here comes out smelling like roses in this episode. The Kwamis are morons for caring about one ship becoming canon, Marinette and Adrien are selfish cowards for giving up their Miraculous with little hesitation, their friends are ignorant buffoons for thinking some random attempt to get Marinette and Adrien to talk will somehow seal the deal, and Alya and Zoe are idiots for not thinking that they should take off the shiny ring that tracks their every movement. It's a terrible episode, and the only reason why “Deflagration” is ranked higher is because it didn't irritate me as much as this one did.

#15: Determination

And now we're onto the really bad episodes this season.

This episode is pretty much what you've come to expect by Season 5. People keep forcing Marinette into situations she's clearly uncomfortable, and we're supposed to just laugh at her anxiety, because we still have eight episodes to go before the show decides to take her mental health seriously.

What makes this episode really sting for me is that it's Luka and Kagami that are forcing Marinette into these unfunny antics this time. For the most part, they never really stooped to this level and didn't try to force anything with their respective love interests until they had trouble in their relationships that required them to communicate. But now, even though one knows Marinette and Adrien are superheroes while the other is usually very blunt with her feelings (at least, before she became this season's next victim), they're going to try forcing Marinette and Adrien to spend time together even they both know they have feelings for each other and MY GOD, THIS IS SO STUPID! It's just a cheap excuse for more pointless shenanigans that stopped being funny years ago.

Yet somehow, that's not the worst of the Love Square drama this episode. It's here where we learn that Adrien fell in love with Marinette over a season ago, during a scene where she violated his personal space. In addition, Adrien somehow showed no signs of attraction to Marinette until the plot demanded it, and came right after another episode showing him falling for her. Why not make it the fake confession Marinette practiced with Cat Noir in “Glaciator 2”? The kiss Marinette gave Adrien at the end of “Heroes' Day”? I'd even take another umbrella scene callback like in “Mr. Pigeon 72”. But no, it's the statue scene that the writers decided on. It's like they noticed all the criticism Marinette got in that episode and were like “Joke's on you! Adrien actually liked being lusted over like an object!”.

And then the masks come on and make things even more convoluted. Adrien at least got to reflect on the events of a previous episode to explain his new feelings for Marinette, but what caused Ladybug to suddenly fall for Cat Noir after four seasons?

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The writers don't even bother with an explanation for this. Ladybug spontaneously becomes attracted to Cat Noir with absolutely no foreshadowing, buildup, or even callbacks to earlier episodes. The writers either wanted to complicate things one last time before Adrienette became canon, they wanted to bury the Ladynoir conflict arc from last season in the sand, or the most likely option, a combination of both.

The idea of the public turning on Ladybug was an interesting one to take, seeing how she's been universally beloved for the past four seasons. But despite hinting at it in “Multiplication”, this is the farthest is goes, and even then, guess who's behind it? You can't keep raising points against the main characters if it's only Chloe who does it. It doesn't open debate on the story and essentially tells the audience that they're wrong to agree with her, no matter what kind of point she makes.

As dumb as the way it happened was, Ladybug still screwed up and endangered the city by losing the other Miraculous, but we can't actually challenge children by acknowledging that the hero actually did something wrong and needs to grow as a person. We need to use a recurring character as a strawman to tell the audience that only bad people think this way! Way to remove any interesting internal conflict, writers.

The Akuma was pretty weak, just being an older Puppeteer, down to using wax statues like what happened in “Puppeteer 2”. The army of wax heroes could have been interesting, but there wasn't enough time to do much with the idea. The one thing I liked was how the Ox Miraculous' Resistance was used. It felt like an upgrade instead of a core power Manipula got.

This episode pretty much set the stage for a new level of frustrating Love Square drama this season, and it was one of the season's first outright awful episodes.

#16: Conformation

The only reason this episode isn't at the bottom is because the rest of the ones on this list are far worse by comparison. Make of that what you will.

Like most season finales, this one continues the tradition of being better at buildup than actual execution. Gabriel's plan is pretty decent, even if it's just Heroes Day on a global scale. He utilizes his public influence and business skills to plan out a plan to get almost all of humanity working for him. While I don't like the Miraculized, I still think Gabriel being on top works here, especially since he's not going out into the field like the last three finales.

But other than an okay evil plan, this episode is still pretty bad. Marinette being infected with nightmare dust only happens to get her to the Agreste manor because the writers forgot that Marinette learned Gabriel was Monarch last episode. It could have been a decent way to up the stakes by showing Ladybug not being at 100%, but like everyone else, she just fights off the nightmare dust and doesn't have a single problem during her fight with Monarch. In general, the nightmare dust isn't really utilized well, only being an excuse to bring out the Miraculized. It doesn't impact everyone fighting off the Miraculized, and there's no lesson or theme about fear that's conveyed here.

Speaking of nightmare dust, I'm pretty sure the only reason why it was introduced in the first place was to bench Adrien, which is still easily one of the dumbest decisions the show has ever made. While everyone else had no problem resisting the nightmare dust, Adrien is just physically incapable of doing so because of some half-assed character arc the show pretended happened. So either Adrien got a more potent dosage of the nightmare dust, or Adrien's just too weak to actually overcome his fears. “Sandboy”? Never heard of it! The fact that the writers also tried to claim they were being subversive with fairy tale tropes and cliches didn't help, since it devalues Adrien as a character even further. He's not a superhero and Ladybug's closest ally. He's just some damsel in distress who needs to be saved. Let me just remind you, if the genders were reversed, this would not be seen as some bold move, but the same overused cliche trying to be something new.

I already talked about my problems with Nathalie in “Passion”, and the stuff she does here isn't really different. Despite enabling Gabriel for five seasons, the episode has the balls to act like Nathalie always had morals and is appalled by Gabriel planning to sacrifice someone to save his wife. Just remember, “Passion” established that Nathalie had a history as a treasure hunter, so this is like Indiana Jones not knowing what the Holy Grail does. Nathalie only got dumber than in “Passion” because she somehow thought she could take on a supervillain with nothing but a crossbow and a body that already has one foot in the grave. And just like Felix, Nathalie can't even apologize to Ladybug for the aiding and abetting a terrorist thing. Between Nathalie, Felix, and Gabriel, does using the Peacock Miraculous just make you an idiot?

While the buildup is decent, it's just not enough to really get audiences excited for the second part.

#17: Representation

This episode is yet another example of the show's double standards.

Without going into detail too much, this episode came right after “Revolution”, the one that essentially portrayed Audrey taking control of Chloe's life as a karmic punishment. What happens in this episode? We learn Felix's father literally took control of his life and it's portrayed as wrong as child abuse should be. That's why this episode is still better than “Revolution”. It at the very least understands how serious child abuse is, and tries to tell Felix's story with as much dignity as two teenagers in white onesies can have.

With that being said, there's a reason why this episode is as low as it is. The Sentimonster play used to tell Marinette about Felix is just so stupid. The sets and costumes look ridiculous, it's hard to take the story seriously with Felix and Kagami doing all the voices, and most of it is unnecessary since the whole point is to tell Marinette that Gabriel is Monarch... something that the writers decided she needed to find out on her own in the next episode. It comes across less like Felix trying to alert Ladybug to who Monarch really is and more like he's just trying to justify his own actions. Hell, the actual reason he decided to tell Marinette about Gabriel was because he and Kagami were worried about their own relationship being ruined by him. And yet somehow, Ladybug lets him on the team at the end of the season.

The stuff with Adrien was also pretty dumb. It's cheap fanservice that reminds the audience of Cat Blanc when none of the characters should know who Cat Blanc is. You can call him Anticat all you want, but everyone can see that he's just Cat Blanc with blue hair. It's bad enough that this was what all the times Cat Noir almost Cataclysming people this season was meant to lead up to, but this is pretty much the reason why Adrien is benched during the finale.

This episode really shows how desperate the writers are to make people take this show seriously by showing serious topics like genocide and child abuse, as if the show didn't already ignore the horrible implications previous episodes (like the very last one before this) raised and will continue to raise during the season finale. So much of the episode is just dark for the sake of being dark. It's nothing too horrifying for children, of course, but the issue is how obvious it is that the writers are trying to raise the stakes right before the season finale and show how mature the show's writing is. For lack of a better term, it's this show's equivalent to “Ow The Edge”.

#18: Revelation

Get ready for the episode where the writers abandon all attempts to be subtle and create an episode specifically to attack people who think Chloe isn't the most evil character on the show. Because how dare they be optimistic and try to see the good in people! What do they think this is, a kids' show?

While a big problem with the Lila episodes was how stupid the class is, this episode made it so Marinette got to join in on losing brain cells too. Despite outright admitting to neglecting her duties as class representative (as absurd as it is to be in charge of notifying teachers about student progress they should be aware of), we're supposed to agree with her for not telling her teacher about Chloe cheating. Not only does this make no sense since you'd think Marinette would want to see Chloe get punished, but her claiming that all Chloe does is abuse her privileges loses any point to it because Marinette admitted to not doing her job as class representative, making her just as lazy as Chloe and unintentionally helping her through not telling the teachers. And that's not even getting into how many times Marinette has broken the secret identity rule despite also being the one to enforce it the most as the Guardian.

If the episode at least admitted to Marinette having personal issues that prevented her from displaying any form of professionalism towards Chloe (especially since this episode takes place after “Derision”), that'd be fine. Sometimes, people just can't let bygones be bygones and let their emotions dictate how they handle things. If she willingly resigned from her position by admitting she was just as at fault for Chloe getting as far as she did with her cheating, that would have worked. Instead, the episode does the same things it did with Adrien for the last few seasons: Go out of its way to vindicate Marinette's complaining and never even consider the idea of her being wrong in the slightest.

It's also hilarious to see Ms. Bustier act like an actual teacher for once and plan to work with Chloe to help make up her missed work, but portray it as a bad thing because in Marinette's eyes, that's not a punishment. Since the school year is almost over, Chloe will have to attend summer school at best and be held back or even expelled at worst. How the hell does that not count as a punishment, Marinette?

And don't forget how she gets not one, but two separate scenes insulting people for being idealistic and not wanting to write off people as beyond saving, the second one being copied from Astruc's Twittter.

And remember, this was right before a string of episodes where characters were able to change their ways, including Sabrina (Chloe's accomplice), Andre (Chloe's enabler), and Gabriel (Chloe's supervillain contact). How the hell is Chloe the only one being written off as irredeemable when she didn't pull off any of her evil plans without help? You can still punish Chloe. All I want is for the other characters to be punished as well.

But let's talk about the main event for this episode: Lila. In one of the most confusing “twists” in the show's history, she's now an identity thief who lives with three different mothers. Why? Because the writers have no idea how to hype people up for her being the main villain for Season 6, so they think just making her mysterious for the sake of making her mysterious is enough to build her up as a villain. It's like the writers realized Lila had absolutely zero resources of her own, so they felt like they needed to establish her as an evil genius to compensate. “Who cares if there's no logical explanation for how she's gotten as far as she has despite constantly boasting about her celebrity connections in public? We have to make her vague and mysterious, damn it! It worked for Judas Traveller and Kaine, didn't it?”

This episode takes multiple shots at fans and tries to make Lila seem more compelling than she actually is. It feels more like damage control than an actual plot-relevant episode.

#19: Illusion

Want to see the main characters acting like idiots for almost a half-hour? No? Too bad!

So much of this episode's conflict, the characters trying to investigate a possible lead related to Monarch, comes from everyone making stupid decisions. Nino tries to get one of the most influencial men in Paris akumatized, talks about it in public, falls for his trick, and lets him into his secret alliance. This season really cemented his role as the Zapp Brannigan of Miraculous Ladybug with how incompetent he is. If you really want to start portraying Nino as a tactical genius, maybe you should actually show him doing something smart instead of getting outsmarted by obvious tricks.

Of course, the other characters aren't immune to Nino's stupidity either. Marinette, Adrien, and Alya just go along with his asinine plan to get Gabriel akumatized, never question his logic, and ultimately still go along with the Resistance despite how obnoxious their leader is. The worst part is Ladybug not recognizing her own partner being stung by Venom... when they're fighting someone with access to over a dozen Miraculous. I know Cat Noir was born with glass bones and paper skin, but I don't think he literally freezes in terror when he's scared. And of course, Ladybug never questions the tiny invisible men who stunned Cat Noir after this scene.

The cafeteria scene is something that should really be cited as an example of how terrible this show is with acknowledging continuity. You thought there would be some compelling drama discussing the secret identity rule and all the double standards it has? NOPE! It's a funny joke about how confusing the identity stuff is at this point. The fact that Nino somehow doesn't understand the concept of secret identities in this scene is yet another reason as to why he isn't even qualified to lead an anime club, much less a resistance against Monarch.

The idea of Monarch using an illusion to fight Ladybug and Cat Noir was an interesting one, but it still had some holes. For one thing, what if the two heroes can't dodge one of the illusion Collector's attacks? What if they're fast enough to try tying him up, only to dispel the illusion? The entire plan pretty much relies on the fact that Ladybug and Cat Noir are too slow to catch the Collector.

But one scene that has only become more questionable after the finale is Ladybug trying to reach through to the illusion Collector. Like several episodes this season, it comes across like the show is spitting on idealism and wanting to solve problems peacefully because Monarch tricked Ladybug into believing he willingly rejected an Akuma. Remember kids, if someone says they want to change, it's really a trick as part of an evil supervillain's plan to maintain his secret identity.

This episode is like a microcosm of everything wrong with Season 5. Poor morals, characters acting like idiots, shooting down any potential for plot development, and being told characters are right when their actions say otherwise.

#20: Confrontation

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the episode where the writers just gave up.

There is just so much that happens in this episode that the writers cram in. There's Marinette's “final” confrontation with Lila, the battle with Reflekta, Sabrina's redemption, Juleka's character development, Ms. Bustier's character development, Mr. Damocles' character development, and the reveal of Lila's true nature. I don't think I need to tell you that the writers struggle to make all of these plot threads work in less than a half-hour.

First off, Marinette and Lila. The previous episode implied that Marinette let Lila have this short-term victory because she had her own plan to expose her. This episode puts that plan into action. See, she has the genius idea of going along with submitting school application forms to Lila and Chloe with no actual countermeasure in place, waiting for Sabrina to have a sudden change of heart so they can work together to expose Lila and Chloe through a bathroom peephole. This is the kind of tactical intelligence that will be studied in the history books, let me tell you. There's just no weight to Marinette and Lila's final battle of wits because there isn't any. There's no series of gambits or scenarios that actually pit their minds against each other, so you don't get a lot of satisfaction from Marinette's triumph over Lila. It doesn't help that there's more focus on Sabrina than on Marinette, but I'll get to that later. Even the actual payoff is anti-climactic. Most of the class' apology to Marinette was deleted because Mr. Damocles using a Magical Charm shield was just too important to leave on the cutting room floor according to the writers.

This episode really shows just how Marinette's classmates are like NPCs in the Lila-centric stories. They don't second guess Lila's accusations due to their past experiences with Marinette, and as soon as Marinette's name is cleared, they instantly apologize to her and don't even think about how easily they were fooled by Lila and Chloe. The worst example is Alya, Marinette's confidant and someone who was trusted to temporarily use the Ladybug Miraculous last episode, falling for this and not trusting Marinette. My sister in Christ, your friend goes out and saves lives on a weekly basis at least. How can you fall for Lila's story? This is why I think the Lila episodes should have all been set pre-Season 4, so Alya falling for Lila's lies is a little more believable since she isn't already in on Marinette's biggest secret.

I also have to roll my eyes at how melodramatic the talk about everyone's “futures” is. Yes, I don't know a lot about the French education system (If there's anything I'm getting wrong here, don't hesitate to let me know), but I don't get why they're treating their high school choices like such a big deal. Maybe if it was college, I'd get it, but high school? Why can't you just transfer if it doesn't work out? But then again, this is the same show created by a man who thinks school uniforms are a sign of fascism.

THIS IS WHAT THOMAS ASTRUC ACTUALLY BELIEVES.

Speaking of futures, this episode also showed just how little the writers cared about Adrien at this point, with how a supposedly heartwaming moment is him having no plan in life other than Marinette. I know this might seem weird given my problem with him last season was his refusal to think about anyone but himself, but there's a difference between wanting someone to follow orders without complaining and giving them absolutely no motivation outside of their significant other. And once again, if you swap the genders, this becomes sexist as hell.

But the big problem comes in the form of how the side characters are utilized. I don't know why the writers decided to focus on developing characters like Sabrina, Juleka, Ms. Bustier, and Mr. Damocles with five episodes left in the season. This should have been done in earlier episodes, not in the middle of a major story arc. I'm just left not caring about the development because it takes away from the conflict between Marinette and Lila, to say nothing about how little Adrien and Alya contribute to the story.

To me, this episode feels like the writers had no idea how to make Marinette outsmarting Lila into an episode, so they crammed in all these half-assed character arcs to pad out the runtime. While “Revelation” personally upset me more, I personally think this is the worse episode of the two from a writing standpoint.

#21: Revolution

Given how often I've criticized the way Chloe has been handled over the years, I bet you're surprised that this one isn't at the bottom of the list. You'll be even more surprised to learn that I think Chloe is one of this episode's saving graces.

This episode (along with “Derision”) provide an example of the Chloe we should have gotten ever since Season 3 ended: A villain who's allowed to be a threat while still being funny. So much of the past two seasons have done nothing but portray Chloe as nothing but an incompetent joke, but here, near the end of the season, she's in a position of power and is taken seriously. The episode does a good job showing how tyrannical Chloe's rule as Mayor is while still making it funny and in-character for her. She uses her power on frivolous things because she's a teenage girl who doesn't understand the complicated issues that come with politics. It's also why her idea of punishment involves detention, because it's something she's more familiar with as someone in middle school. Of course, even the episode all about Chloe ruling Paris with an iron fist isn't stupid enough to actually let Chloe be a compelling antagonist. No, we need to constantly remind the audience that Chloe is being played, as if we're supposed to see her as nothing more than a pawn even though the show still wants us to see her as an irredeemable monster.

Putting aside that one speck of something interesting, this episode is still incredibly bad. So much of the story is dependent not on how smart the villains' plan is, but rather, how lazy the heroes are. Not only is there not a single moment where Ladybug and Cat Noir acknowledge that the whole reason why Chloe was able to take over as Mayor was their fault, they act as if Chloe abusing her power to make everyone's life a living hell isn't enough of a reason to stop her. What kind of Prime Directive bullshit is this? YOU JUST HELPED SOMEONE LEAD AN INSURRECTION AGAINST A POWERLESS CIVILIAN! HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT?! If there was at least something involving Ladybug and Cat Noir taking responsibility for what happened or at least showing that they played a part in this (especially since they “grow up” in this episode), I'd get it. Instead, because this is Season 5, our heroes are perfection incarnate, and can't ever be wrong. Even when they finally decide to get off their asses and stop Chloe, they didn't know she was akumatized, and nobody seemed to care before Chloe blurted it out, so Ladybug and Cat Noir have no excuses for slacking off.

The final battle is just a joke. Not only is it another excuse to force the Resistance into the plot, it shows Ladybug and Cat Noir unlocking the full power of their Miraculous in the most anti-climactic way possible. Even though they spent most of the episode caring more about their personal lives than actually stopping the obvious threat, somehow, this means they “grew up”. There's no buildup, no explanation, and no catharsis gained from this achievement. All of a sudden, Ladybug and Cat Noir are adults now. There's one decent scene with Adrien, but that's far from an actual explanation. What, did you actually expect an explanation for something this huge? Too bad! We need to have Marinette tell Chloe she's not afraid of her anymore even though she was never afraid of her prior to this season. Of all the things that happened this season, this is the one that makes it clear that Season 5 was supposed to be the end. There is no way Season 6 can happen unless the writers come up with some crap that undoes this, because Ladybug and Cat Noir have essentially unlocked god mode.

But I saved the worst for last, and you all know what it is: Chloe's punishment. I still can't get over the fact that there's actually a scene heavily implying we're supposed to be happy Chloe is going to live with her emotionally abusive mother in the same season that's trying to tell a serious story about child abuse. There's already been so much said about all the horrible things this implies, so I'm going to try and bring up something else. Specifically, how everyone is just okay with this. I can buy Ladybug given all the things Chloe has done to her, but it's pretty odd that Cat Noir, Andre, and Zoe all decide to wash their hands of their association with Chloe as if they never knew her. They don't even feel bad that it had to come to this, and feel absolutely no sympathy for her. Remember in episodes like “Malediktator” and “Queen Banana” that showed Adrien and Zoe still cared for Chloe despite all the terrible things she's done, teaching kids a lesson about trying to show compassion to your enemies? The writers sure didn't, because Adrien and Zoe don't get to say a thing about Chloe after she's defeated. Way to establish connections between characters and do nothing with them, writers!

This episode had so many things wrong with it, and it only got worse the longer it went on, to the point where the ending is essentially condoning child abuse. It's disgusting, but at the very least, it means we're not going to have to deal with Chloe in Season 6.

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#22: Adoration

This is one of those episodes I honestly didn't think would hate as much as I did.

I think of all the episodes this season, this is the one that shows how frustratingly inconsistent the characterization is. Characters will either announce how much someone has changed or will take a complete 180 while the show makes it clear this is how things have always been. Not only does the show say Zoe has somehow changed and suddenly developed feelings for Marinette, but Chloe's view of Sabrina has gotten even lower, to the point where she calls her an underling to her face. Because actually showing character development and changing interpersonal relationships is too hard for these writers. It's like that rule everyone knows: Tell, don't show. That's how it goes, right?

Before anyone gets on my case about this, I'm not trying to say that Zoe having a crush on Marinette was a bad idea. The issue is more how it comes across like the show is trying to earn brownie points with LGBT+ audiences with the reveal. The issue is that this major revelation isn't about Zoe, but rather, Marinette. It's from a Marinette-focused episode all about her heterosexual feelings for Adrien while Zoe's coming out story is nothing more than a cautionary tale to get Marinette to finally try kissing Adrien. I'm not saying Marinette should have dumped Adrien to be with Zoe. The point I'm trying to make is if you want to show something as huge as a character coming out as sapphic, maybe put more focus on that character's struggles than the struggles the straight main character goes through. Maybe instead of being an afterthought in the story, make the episode about Marinette helping Zoe confess her feelings to a girl she likes.

This was also the episode that laid the groundwork for Andre and Sabrina's “redemption arcs”. Normally, I wouldn't mind something like them changing, but it's less to show a character becoming a better person and more to vilify a different character. Andre went from a corrupt politician who abuses his power to please his daughter to an honest politician who is forced to abuse his power to please his daughter. Sabrina went from Chloe's loyal friend who chooses to help her make people miserable to Chloe's underling who is being forced to help make people miserable. Both of them were perfectly willing to go along with Chloe's acts in the past, and as we saw in “Revolution”, being a pawn didn't excuse her from being punished, so by that logic, they shouldn't get a free pass either. It's also strange how this wasn't the episode where Andre and Sabrina officially cut ties with Chloe, considering they already had issues with them. There wasn't really a reason to wait if they already made their issues clear, especially Sabrina. Somehow framing Marinette here is okay but doing it a few episodes later is too much for her?

Also, Lila served no purpose in the episode. Just like in “Collusion” and “Revolution”, all she does is tell Chloe to do things she was perfectly capable of doing in earlier episodes. We're supposed to see her as a mastermind, but I don't get why she has to hold Chloe's hand here. Why can't Lila come up with her own plan or manipulate different people from behind the scenes? It only further highlights the double standards because while Sabrina being a lackey to Chloe earns her sympathy, Chloe being a lackey to Lila doesn't for some reason.

I am getting really tired of the whole “Nobody believes Marinette” formula that every Lila episode relies on (Chameleon, Ladybug, Risk, Revelation, Confrontation). It's the exact same story. Everyone who has known Marinette for the past four seasons suddenly loses all trust in her, only instead of instantly believing Lila, it's Chloe. CHLOE. This is worse than Lila, because she's at least in good graces with other people, but this is the same season that solidified the idea of nobody liking her at all. They seriously take her words at face value over Marinette, someone whose friends know has tormented her for a year at least (Derision)? Put aside how I feel about Chloe, this is a story that depends on trusting someone nobody has any reason to trust, and it makes no sense.

There are just so many minor issues in this episode that pile up enough to really piss me off. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.

#23: Collusion

I normally don't try to get political on this blog unless I absolutely have to, and talking about this episode is one of those occasions.

If you've been around since the early days of this blog, you'll remember that Astruc once compared Chloe to Donald Trump, and not too long after the January 6th attack on the Capitol Building at that.

Even before that thread, Astruc made a joke comparing Trump to Chloe less than a week after the attack.

Whether you agree with Astruc's views on Trump or not, the point is that he kept up with American politics and strongly opposes him. So anyway, let's get to the episode where the heroes let someone lead a small army to storm the mayor's office and force him to resign, which is totally different from what Trump did.

I cannot get over just how confusing this episode is. For a show created by someone who usually keeps up with American politics, this is such a tone-deaf episode. I get that the story is trying to lean into French history, and I'm not sure how far into production the crew was when the attack on the Capitol happened, but given how Astruc was aware of the drama, he and his team should have at least considered the implications this episode could raise. The problem with the discussion around January 6th is that the supporters see it in as righteous a light as Miss Sans-Culotte is. As far as they know, what happened wasn't a violent invasion of government property, but a peaceful demonstration. Sure, none of the talking balloons said “Hang Andre Bourgeois!”, but it still brings similar imagery to mind.

Something that also harms the French Revolution narrative is the fact that all of Miss Sans-Culotte's supporters are helping her against her will. Much like countless Akumas throughout the show's history (Darkblade, Kung Food, The Puppeteer, Princess Fragrance, Despair Bear, Befana, Zombizou, Malediktator, Gamer 2.0, Mr. Pigeon 72, Hack-San, Revelation, Confrontation), Miss Sans-Culotte brainwashes innocent civilians so they can help her cause. This goes against the idea that she's speaking for the people, because her victims don't have a say in this. She's not reenacting the French Revolution, she's reenacting Order 66!

Also, this is something I've neglected to discuss. Why make Miss Bustier pregnant at all, much less akumatize her while pregnant? Outside of her students telling Chloe not to make a scene because the stress caused from dealing that is bad for the baby, Ms. Bustier's pregnancy adds nothing to the story. Seriously, the story thinks Chloe annoying the class is more dangerous for Ms. Bustier's baby than Ms. Bustier herself running around and getting into fights with her baby inside. It could have made for some interesting drama where Ladybug and Cat Noir are hesitant to hurt a pregnant woman, even if she's been akumatized. While the writers do try to work around it by giving her minions to do the fighting (as much as it mucks up the themes of this episode), it still doesn't explain why she needed to be pregnant during this episode in the first place.

Putting aside how unlikable Miss Sans-Culotte is in this episode, you can't even enjoy seeing Andre getting kicked out of office because this is the same episode where the writers really want us to feel bad for him. Look at how sad the rich white politician is. Let's ignore the fact that he's a big part of the reason why Chloe is as bad as she is, has abused his power multiple times, and is all around the cause of his own problems. But even though this is a show that tries to take an anti-capitalist stance (which I'll get to more in “Emotion”), we're supposed to side with one of the biggest symbols of everything wrong with capitalism and political corruption. Even then, Andre is framed for corruption instead of the several instances he actually abused his power, as if they're trying to say he was never a corrupt man. He just loves his daughter. Is that too much to ask for? His daughter herself? Eh, who cares? You really need to support the rich white man. Are we sure this show was created by a liberal?

But the biggest issue is the moral. It's impossible to frame Miss Sans-Culotte storming the mayor's office as a peaceful protest because she's clearly inspired by one of the bloodiest and most violent revolutions in history. If she was supposed to be a violent warrior who needed to learn there was a better way, that would work, but instead, the show downplays how dangerous she is... when she has a guillotine blade for a weapon. You can't claim Miss Sans-Culotte is non-violently protesting Andre's administration when she brainwashes innocent civilians, storms into the building, and demands he resign without any question. Even taking all that into consideration, the moral ends up backfiring because forcing Andre out of office caused an even bigger problem with Chloe taking over, and the very next episode threw the non-violence message out the window.

Whether or not you want to consider the political implications here, this is still a terrible episode with a terrible moral.

#24: Pretension

I've always had issues with Felix, and after the trainwreck that was “Emotion”, let's just say this didn't exactly do anything to raise my opinion of him. Just like his other appearances for the last few seasons, he did absolutely nothing to help Ladybug, focused on only doing things that benefited him, and making everyone's lives worse due to his incompetence. And somehow, this idiot is the one who moves the plot along the most.

The entire conflict happened because Felix kidnapped Kagami without even coming up with a plan. Even when he believes that Kagami is a Sentimonster (I apologize for saying that word Felix hates, but once again, the show provides no alternative to it), he doesn't think of Tomoe being able to track her or command her to leave even at a far distance. He doesn't even try to explain himself to Ladybug and Cat Noir and spends more time running away from everyone who wants to kick his ass. But by the show's logic, he just needs friends, even though his entire deal is that he works alone to get what he wants.

It's bad enough that Felix has to screw up everything he touches, but now he's dragging Kagami to his level. Kagami has cemented her role as Felix's lackey/girlfriend and nothing more. People give Marinette crap for the way the behaves around Adrien in and out of universe, but Kagami knows nothing about Felix, yet a single conversation about his past is enough for her to fall head over heels in love with him. She went from someone not willing to take any bullcrap from Marinette and Adrien to believing Felix's story in a fraction of a heartbeat. This season really likes ruining the few likable characters the show has left.

I also have to roll my eyes at the conversation Marinette and Gabriel have about fashion. For one thing, it's one of the few times the entire season remembers that Marinette wants to be a fashion designer and doesn't really factor into her rivalry with Gabriel. This season made their conflict revolve around how to treat Adrien, not their views on fashion. It feels like they only brought it up to remind viewers that Marinette is still into fashion. Well, that, and also to take a stance on artistic integrity... supposedly.

And on that note, it's amazing how the writers display little to no self-awareness during this scene. The show that embraces sticking to the status quo and rejecting almost any attempt at keeping consistent continuity is now trying to teach children about the importance of being willing to take risks when creating something. This is like Hannibal Lecter trying to promote veganism. I get the message, but the messenger's history is keeping me from buying it. It doesn't help that for a scene trying to point out how outdated certain views are, the show ultimately chooses to take the side of the man with the “wrong” mindset by the end of the season.

The pancake metaphor really confuses me too. It's meant to be a running gag that the only thing Gabriel knows how to cook is pancakes, but A) Nothing is really indicated to show how terrible they are as a metaphor for how bad his outdated views are other than Marinette's verbal assessment of them, and B) We later learn Gabriel used to be poor, so either he never knew how to cook prior to earning his fortune or being rich somehow made him forget basic living skills. I'm just saying, when an episode of Sid the Science Kid manages to better convey someone doing a terrible job making pancakes, you might need to put in a little more effort to show how bad Gabriel's pancakes supposedly are.

Finally, Tomoe. This episode didn't really do much to show her as a compelling threat, given all she did was nag Gabriel and try to shoot her daughter when she didn't even try commanding her to fight back when she was kidnapped. She's nothing more than a female Gabriel and is another example of how overstuffed this show's cast is,

This episode is awful, plain and simple. It took aspects from previous episodes that were already questionable, and doubled down on them while acting like there weren't any problems at all.

#25: Derision

And now we're onto the really, REALLY bad episodes this season. One of the reasons why this post took so long to make was that I wasn't sure how to rank these last three episodes. Thankfully, I managed to find a way to rank them based on the morals are executed. With that being said, let's start scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Ah, “Derision”. You're the only episode that makes the backlash caused by “Chameleon” seem like a pleasant breeze. It's incredible to see just how much negative a reputation this episode has in the fandom. Virtually nobody likes it because it manages to upset everyone with its poor characterization. I'm talking Marinette fans, Adrien fans, Chloe fans, Kim fans, and pretty much every other character's fans. I've only seen a few die hard fans defend this episode, and they're the people on Tumblr who defend pretty much everything done this season.

I have just one question to ask about this episode: Why did it need to happen? We didn't learn anything new that we didn't know already. We know Chloe is mean, and we know Marinette used to be more timid and had no friends. We didn't even need that much of an explanation for why Marinette acts the way she does around Adrien, seeing how it was usually played for laughs

Speaking of which, let's talk about the fact that the episode tries to shame the audience for laughing at the jokes about Marinette's reactions to Adrien. You know, something that was the show's primary running gag ever since Season 1? A running gag the writers ran into the ground by the end of Season 3 but still chose to go with it? Now we're not supposed to have laughed at it, assuming we laughed at it all. Way to insult even the small portion of viewers who didn't get on your case about this, writers.

I only have about two positive things to say about this episode. For one thing, Chloe actually served as a pretty decent antagonist in the flashbacks. Much like in “Revolution”, when the writers actually let her be a villain on her own without being made a pawn, she can be somewhat entertaining. If this was the Chloe we got after Season 3, I don't I would have been as upset at the direction Astruc's team took with the character.

In addition, the thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom is that unlike the next two, it actually understands that what the antagonist did was wrong. They don't make up excuses for what Chloe did and she actually gets called out as a result. It doesn't lead to anything major, but it's something.

Like with “Queen Banana”, there's not much else I can say that hasn't already been said. There's plenty of retcons, the characterization for everyone is off, it attacks the audience, and the message about trauma got fumbled by the show's usual double standards. It's been said over and over again, and it's become a symbol of how much the show's quality has degraded.

#26: Emotion

I think if you've kept up with my reviews of this season, you should know by now that I don't exactly like Felix, and most of the problems I have with him can be attributed to this episode. In fact, for a while, this was going to be my choice for the bottom slot.

It's clear that the writers want to make Felix this wild card who's only in it for himself, but like most of the show's antagonists, they want to show Felix as this devious mastermind... but he's also not really evil, and you should feel bad for him. For most of the episode, Felix does nothing but make everyone's lives worse during his first outing as Argos. He smears his cousin's reputation yet again, tricks his girlfriend into dancing with him, condemns some rich kids for the crime of being rich when he's just as rich, and eventually wipes out all life on the face of the earth. But he's just doing it for his cousin, we swear!

While Felix has understandable motivations for what he does, wanting to free Adrien and Kagami, the way he tries to achieve his goal makes it hard to sympathize with him. If the whole point was that what he did was wrong and that he needs to find a different way, that could work. Instead, we're supposed to see him as this tragic figure who was forced to do terrible things when the episode shows him happily singing while causing chaos. It's the same problem with Gabriel, wanting a sympathetic character to do unapologetically evil things. The fact that he has to be told that genocide is bad doesn't make us want to sympathize with him when he breaks down crying. It paints a picture that he's crazy but the show wants to act like he isn't.

Even putting all the crap with Felix aside, the episode is still unbearable. The stuff with Marinette was poorly executed and was just done to get her involved in the plot, and later become the first one to excuse Felix for betraying her. Other than the dance scene, you could easily just have Marinette swing in as Ladybug when Argos starts his rampage and nothing would really change. The episode tries to make jokes about how unnecessary this is, but as usual, its attempts to be self-aware come across like its saying “What we're doing it wrong, we know it's wrong, but we're gonna do it anyway!”

Speaking of the dance scene, I can't stop rolling my eyes whenever Felix tries to be all “We live in a society” to Marinette. Forget the corrupt politicians, corporate moguls, human traffickers, and despotic rulers of foreign nations. The absolute worst section of humanity is composed of the teenage children of the 1%. Sure, you'd have to break my legs before I'd agree to supervise them at this party, but I don't get why these are the people we're supposed to see as irredeemable monsters. Do the writers think because these kids associate themselves with Chloe, we'll automatically hate them? Newsflash, but if I had to choose between hanging out with some annoying kids and a mass murderer, I'd stick with the annoying kids.

Rewatching this episode was what helped me finally realize just what my problem with the show's anti-capitalist message is. How the hell am I supposed to hate the villains on this show for being rich when several characters are rich or at the very least, are successful thanks to their connections to the rich? Think about it for a second. Putting aside Adrien and Kagami, you have Marinette, the daughter of two of the most popular bakers in Paris and earned the respect of multiple celebrities, Alya, the daughter of a chef who works at a five-star hotel, Nino, someone who got to DJ at a major fashion show, Rose, who is friends with a literal prince, Luka and Juleka, the children of a popular rock star, and Max, the son of an astronaut with access to cutting-edge technology. Somehow, these people are supposed to be poor? They make Monica from Friends look like Oscar the Grouch. It's why I can't take the message seriously. You can't write a story about a class struggle when both classes are shown to be pretty well-off.

The only thing that saves this episode from being at the bottom of the list is the fact that despite committing genocide while singing, Felix at least gets what he did was wrong and makes up for it. It doesn't fix everything else he did in this episode, but that's better than nothing. As for the villain featured in the episode that's at the bottom of this list? If you've been keeping track, I think you know who I mean.

#27: Re-Creation

I'll admit, I'm sort of cheating here. I'm judging this episode more as a finale than an individual episode, but I'm making an exception because the plot is tied to wrapping up all the loose ends this season.

I'm mentioning this because for a season finale, the stakes just feel so low. The fight between Bug Noire and Monarch doesn't have any weight to it because they've barely interacted at all for the last five seasons. These are supposed to be two mortal enemies, but you can't really buy the enmity between them. It ultimately cheapens the moment of Bug Noire triumphing over Monarch in the end... before Monarch triumphs over her not long afterwards, but we'll get to that.

The stuff with the Miraculized doesn't help either. We already know that the Ladybug and Cat Miraculous are in the Agreste manor, so the Miraculized's goal is impossible to achieve. It's never even explained why the Miraculized don't go back to the manor to help Monarch beat Bug Noire, since they should still be able to track the Miraculous. All of the fights with them just come across like filler, and there's no real sense of danger or hopelessness to be found. Whether the Miraculized win or lose is irrelevant. Nothing will happen either way because the important stuff is happening in the Agreste manor.

This extends to the part where all the heroes appear to help. It doesn't come across as an Avengers-esque moment for the climax, because it doesn't change anything. The episode never explains what any of these characters were doing prior to the events of this episode and why only now they're helping out. The United Heroes are the most egregious example because unlike Fei or Su-Han, they're a major organization whose members include the president, and they didn't do a damn thing when Monarch stole all of the other Miraculous. Speaking of, there is no way in hell that Su-Han taught Mirakung-Fu to three random people over Ladybug and Cat Noir, much less that those three people are actual masters after about two months at best. Maybe they got to train in Bunnix's Burrow? After all, she's not doing anything else to stop the end of the world other than sending four people over to Paris. This whole sequence really highlights how bland the other heroes of this universe are. If they're not slacking off when they're needed, they're criminally underdeveloped because there's a slim chance they'll get spin-offs to flesh them out.

But I think the biggest issue me and other people have with this finale is the resolution. In what is easily one of the most baffling decisions the show has made, Bug Noire doesn't defeat Monarch, and Monarch gets to make his wish. I don't care how many times the writers technically say she won because she beat him in a fight. Gabriel backstabbed her at the last minute and got her Miraculous to make his wish. Yeah, he died, but he succeed in achieving his goal, never faced any real consequences, didn't get any closure with his son (much less apologize for abusing him), told Marinette to lie about the monster he was to him, and was turned into a martyr with a statue made of the same things he used to control the world.

This ending infuriates me because it not only makes Marinette out to be a terrible hero for failing to do the one thing she was chosen to do (get the Butterfly Miraculous back), but it also ultimately makes Gabriel out to be a decent person even though he destroyed and recreated the world. All Marinette did was take credit for saving the world, and even then, Gabriel got more celebration in the end. Our hero, ladies and gentlemen! She got outsmarted by an abusive parent and didn't even get a new statue in her honor!

But the most damning thing of all this is the fact that this finale retroactively makes everything that's happened over the last five seasons completely pointless. If Gabriel making a wish wasn't as bad as it was supposed to be, why didn't Ladybug and Cat Noir let him borrow their Miraculous? Why make the stakes this high if you're going to downplay the impact of a madman recreating the world in his own image? Follow-up question: why make the stakes this high if the wish being made is ultimately shown to have huge benefits for society? In an attempt to wrap things up with a happy ending, the writers accidentally made the conflict completely meaningless.

That's why this resolution is the ultimate example of the writers refusing to allow any major changes to happen. If they're willing to treat the end of the universe as less important than Ms. Bustier becoming mayor, why should we assume they'll ever take their story seriously? For God's sake, every character you know and love is essentially dead, and we're supposed to act like that isn't a big deal? That's how you wanted to end the show originally? Then again, at least they tried to resolve something, unlike the Love Square. We still haven't gotten a reveal, and I don't think we ever will at this point. These writers will drag out the story until the show stops becoming profitable, which won't be for a long time.

And with that, I am officially done with Season 5. Honestly, after having to rewatch this season again, I'm not sure if it's even worth giving Season 6 a shot. There's nothing to look forward to, and Lila becoming the main villain isn't really appealing to me. At the very least, I have the movie review to look forward to, meaning I can watch something good for a change.

#immaturity of thomas astruc #iota #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug salt

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ryanthel0ser · 13 days ago

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Matchablossom fic but it's a braindump cause I can't write a full fic right now

Joe is the first one to realize his feelings. He almost feels his heart stop as it hits him. He's in love with Cherry. He's been in love with Cherry for a long time. It doesn't take long for him to wish he hadn't realized, everything changes. If he acted on it, he risks losing Cherry because Cherry probably doesn't feel the same...right?

No, nope. Can't get caught up in that thought. Besides, they never really talk about each others feelings like that so how'd he even say it? He couldn't even get one word out before Cherry raced Adam. It's best to just leave things as is, he's been in love with Cherry this whole time so he just keeps doing the usual. It'll be fine...yeah.

Time goes on, things are for the most part normal, but it's starting to show that something is eating away at Joe. Cherry isn't sure how to bring it up, they never really talk about this stuff after all. The others haven't noticed but they don't really know Kojiro like he does.

"So, I've seen you're losing your touch." "What?" "You haven't had as many women hanging off your arms. Are they finally realizing you're a gorilla?" "HEY I've just been busy that's all, and why the hell do you care." "Because maybe with your focus off getting some action every weekend you'll make better food." "Are you saying the food I make now isn't good?" "Your words not mine." "Then, why do you keep coming here asshole if you think my cooking is that bad!" "You're the closest Italian restaurant and I know at the very least you'll get my order right." "Whatever."

He puts Cherry's order in front of him and walks back to the kitchen, throwing his hands up. Cherry wouldn't admit it, but Joe's cooking had gotten better. He was a great chef before, but something must've changed in his technique. The ingredients were all the same, the presentation was identical to what it'd always been, but recently every order Cherry got tasted better than before.

Joe had also begun to say Cherry's order before he could, even if it was different that day. Out of annoyance, Cherry ordered something completely out of his usual tastes. Joe raised an eyebrow and scoffed,

"You're gonna hate it, just get the carbonara like you always do." "Just make my order already, I want to try something else." "Alright, don't say I didn't warn you."

It arrives and...Cherry hates it. He tries to eat it and put on his best poker face but it's just not what he wants. It's well made, but he hates the taste and texture. Suddenly, a plate of carbonara is placed in next to him. It had only been a minute.

"Even I can't watch your suffering like that." "I've only taken a few bites you buffoon." "Yeah and it's written all over your face that you hate it. I had your carbonara made at the same time. Enjoy princess."

Joe takes the other plate and walks off again. Cherry watches him leave. There's a strange flutter in his chest.

Eventually something happens with Joe, something related to his restaurant that does get resolved but Cherry is worried for Joe the whole time. It's similar to how Joe was before his race against Adam so Cherry doesn't quite know how to express his worry to Joe. Paired with how weird Joe is starting to get around him it's creating tension.

Their bickering starts to become full on arguments, the others are trying to figure out what's wrong between Joe and Cherry because this isn't their surface level bickering. One night in Joe's restaurant after closing they get into another heated argument but it reaches a point where someone says something that snaps them both back to reality. They realize their arguing isn't about the topic, but something else.

Joe goes to the back, Cherry is left sitting at the bar scared Joe isn't coming back. Joe walks back and goes to where Cherry is sat, skateboard in hand.

"Lets go for a ride, you and me."

Cherry follows him out with Carla. They skate together around the island in the moonlight. After a bit, Joe begins apologizing to Cherry. He doesn't confess to Cherry, but he does detail how important Cherry is to him and how stressed and worried he's been over what's been happening at the restaurant. This heartfelt admission from Joe is said the same way he spoke to Cherry when he was asleep, only this time Cherry can hear every word.

"Right, Kaoru?"

Kojiro smiles at him softly, the moonlight perfectly framing him. Kaoru is in love with him. He's deeply in love with him. His chest begins to hurt as his heart starts to fill looking at Kojiro. He's been there for him since they were kids, he's cared for him despite the bickering and Kaoru's picky attitude. He was there when Adam was still a fresh wound and when Adam hospitalized him. He could almost feel the blanket Kojiro put on him that night he escaped the hospital and slept in the restaurant. It felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest as he remembered Kojiro staying with him the whole night.

Kaoru was in love with Kojiro.

Things changed after that. Joe and Cherry weren't arguing anymore, but their bickering did have a new air to it. Joe would smile at Cherry in a not-cocky way and Cherry's ears kept turning red. Shadow teased him about it once. He quickly regretted it. No one else brought up Cherry's ears if Cherry was near after that.

Small actions begin to build up between them that start to make things more awkward. Little things that push the boundaries of their friendship. Joe wiping Cherry's face off, Cherry fixing Joe's shirt, getting close enough to where both move away with pink cheeks, and Cherry keeps calling Joe Kojiro.

One night at S, Cherry wins his race and Joe picks him up and swings him around in a hug. Cherry gets flustered and doesn't react normally. They stare at each other awkwardly for what feels like ages. Joe thinks he's done something wrong, that he's finally gone too far. He leaves S not long after, quickly. Cherry gets stopped by his fans, searching around for Joe. The others tell him Joe left already. He gets out and takes off on Carla looking for Joe.

Finally, he catches up to Joe (thank you Carla) and does a move that forces him to stop.

"The hell Kaoru! That could've crashed us!" "Talk. What's going on?"

The look on Cherry's face makes it very clear Joe can't avoid it. Joe sighs, he didn't know how he was going to say this, especially with his heart in his throat. Both of their hearts are pounding.

He begins talking about things just like he did on the night ride, but adds more. The words he's using and the way he's saying it changes the meaning they had on the night ride. His cheeks are red, he's stumbling over some words, dancing around what he really wants to say.

Kaoru can barely hear over the pounding in his chest, but he catches everything he needs to. And he's starting to get frustrated.

Just say it. Tell me Kojiro.

…Fuck it.

"Do I have to do everything myself?"

He pulls down his mask and then pulls Kojiro into a kiss. He's shocked for a moment before melting into the kiss a bit. Kaoru pulls away, flustered and avoiding Kojiro's gaze.

"There, now we kn-"

Before he can get another word out, Kojiro pulls him by the waist into another kiss. A longer one, both of them melting into it as they pull the other closer. Kaoru then feels a smile form on Kojiro's lips, before Kojiro begins to laugh a bit.

"What?" "You're a terrible kisser." "THEN WHY DID YOU KISS ME AGAIN IDIOT?!" "Cause how else are you supposed to learn pinky?"

They decide for now to keep their relationship under wraps, not because they're worried about possible homophobia but because it would attract so much unwanted attention. The top skaters at S in a romantic relationship would get a lot of eyes and questions neither want to deal with. This also means they don't tell the others immediately because SOME people cannot keep their mouths shut (shenanigans will ensue because of this).

To everyone else, it seems like they're back to normal, except they keep giving each other bedroom eyes on occasion now. For them though, their lives have just a bit more late night skating, kissing, and morning cuddles.

#i might write out some of the shenanigans that ensue #it feels good to get this out of my brain you have no idea how many times i have had several moments of this loop in my head #sk8 #sk8 the infinity #sk8 anime #matchablossom #sk8 kaoru #sk8 kojiro #kaoru sakurayashiki #kojiro nanjo #sk8 joe #sk8 cherry #sk8 cherry blossom #joe x cherry #joe x cherry blossom #kojiro x kaoru #kaoru x kojiro #skate the infinity

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velvetvexations · 4 days ago

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I did not mean to sleep all day. Here all the non-kink asks in my inbox lol.

Does a little dance. People being weird about transmascs on here has messed up my self perception so bad im not actually sure of my own gender anymore, yayyyyy

Fuck that anon, if you're man that rules. Being a man is awesome. You don't need anyone else's opinion to affect who you are, there is no bad gender.

just saw someone acknowledge trans men are often lumped into female spaces due to bioessentialism but then turn around and say that thats proof that trans men arent oppressed. lol.

People act like being let into the Woman Club is the one and only goal of being trans and it's so fucking annoying.

Ngl I still don't understand why femboys are a "transmisogynistic caricature that can't be reclaimed by transmascs" according to some people. Do you have any insights on this because I genuinely can't understand, femboy sounds like gnc boy culture and in my own experience, maybe transfems before they come out occasionally identify as femboys. Idk is it like, someone with an outwardly feminine appearance being a guy? Because that's why I like calling myself a femboy.

Some people think femboy started as a transfem thing because they're idiots who don't know shit.

hey if catboy is ubiquitous and having nothing to do with crossdressing why did Jerma crossdress when someone drew him as a catboy???

Because catboys are allowed to do that lol. Taking one example of a crossdressing catboy to mean catboys infringe on transfem copyright is wild.

Hi thanks for letting me vent to you cause I am at work and can't properly process my emtions otherwise rn. I've been otherwise generally in a slightly emotionally fragile place and then I just got an awful review for my first actual order from a stranger on Etsy. And like I know logically that it's not the end of the world and I gave them exactly what they ordered and it's not my fault that they measured wrong or didn't take my advice and size up a little for fit etc etc but no one else will know that and I just got started selling craft stuff and it's just a hobby and it sucks that this person clearly expected something that wasn't what they paid for (my prices are low cause it's a hobby sorry I don't have super professional materials that would make my stuff cost double) but it's really fucking me up and I am trying not to like cry at work because of this and it's so stupid. This was just my first purchase online that wasn't from a friend and I was so excited and they hated it and didn't even send a message or anything about the length (that was exactly what they asked for by the way) not fitting before leaving a review. It just fucking sucks and I wish my brain didn't react to the most minor disappointments/shows of dislike with the I'm going to kill everyone in this room and then myself meme as first response Thanks for listening. It really helps to be able to vent this somewhere <3

I'm really sorry anon, that sounds so frustrating and hard to deal with. I love you so much. <3 I know you do great work and I hope it goes better next time.

Having NPD sucks, lmao, sorry for the rant ahead. I have to remind myself that the 'mark' on shinigami eyes doesn't actually mean anything, but it's hard sometimes because it's still a stain on my reputation. :( some people will see that and take it at face value, forever associating me with the filth that is transphobia, and I can't do anything about it. I appreciate the people who actually know what a transphobe is going out of their way to remove that mark, but it's a losing battle against a bunch of buffoons who think catgirls are transmisogynistic. sometimes it's really hard to pretend that it doesn't bother me at all, because it's highly insulting for me to be associated with the things I literally fight against. What an insult to my legacy and efforts to even bother to care about other people, you know? I don't HAVE to take time out of my day to do activism, I could just not bother to care at all, but I still try. I deserve praise, not this bullshit😭

I'll praise you! Thank you for fighting against transphobia. <3

All this catboy talk. Wanted to say hi as a catboy. Meow :3

Nya~!

My prediction for TRF discourse in 2025: closeted, non passing trans men shouldn't wear skirts or other traditional women's clothing (even if they don't want to and literally have no other choice) because they're MEN and men wearing women's clothes is obviously always transmisogynistic

All trans men are transmisogynistic because they grew up mocking transfems by wearing women's clothes.

some of this discourse is just so fucking wild i cant believe this is something people are taking so seriously. sipping my tea from the sidelines as a chubby catboy therian lmao

You have a cooler head than I.

iirc the "catgirls are transfem" thing started happening around the time Ferris got popular as a character because, if I'm correct, Ferris actually is transfem (coded?) and following that some people just decided The Aesthetique belonged exclusively to transfems now (also you're so so so so based for loving Schrödinger I remember first seeing him in like 2007 and wishing I looked exactly like him)

Schrodinger is my secret fifth blorbo. I'm obsessed with him. I think about him constantly. High five.

als catboys are only white passing in the way that people love to say anime characters are white lmao (aka cant conceive of the fact that anime characters are actually light skinned Japanese). not to say anime doesn't have a colorism problem but They Are Not White and its racist to say otherwise

lol yes exactly

I might be really stepping in it here, but tangential to catboy/catgirl discourse, I'm starting to get really uncomfortable with how the cutesy moe-blob yuri is treated as "trans lesbian culture" these days? as though none of it was ever straight guy fantasy shit? as though it's ideal representation instead of another vector of impossible beauty standards? idk, maybe I'm just being way too touchy. 😬

It's fine if something becomes emblematic of transfem culture but you just can't pretend something was always transfem when it blatantly wasn't lol

you got marked red on shinigami eyes and i havev no idea why

My smoke too tough, my swag too different, my bitch too bad.

juggalo here. we don't want them.

Devastating.

For what it's worth, the "cats transforming into people" thing is probably based on the bakeneko, yeah. The "bake" in "bakeneko" means "transforming", often with the implication of transforming into people (like the better known bakedanuki and bakegitsune). The popularization of cat-people in anime probably came from Neko-Musume from Gegege no Kitaro (the anime behind the "youkai boom" in modern Japanese culture), who is a half-bakeneko.

Fascinating.

(Dif anon) "leading one to wonder what transphobia they think trans men do face" 99.999% sure at this point we're at "trans men experience misgendering... maybe...?"

Well that doesn't count since everyone wants to be a girl, an idea that I believe has universal appeal because I'm a self-centered moron.

You're awesome <3

Thank you anon. <3

I didn't realize I was trans from yaoi but I did largely realize it from memes about traps and accidentally stumbling across largely transfem subreddits via a anime memes despite being transmasc so. Great amount of respect for our yaoi soldiers.

Hell yeah!

#I'm too tired to tag specifics #discourse

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what-have-i-unleashed · 19 days ago

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once again dropping this bomb on @toffeebrew

previously on high school au z...

"nightmare..." one person of the trio breathes out

"hello dream," nightmare greets back with a malicious smile.

"oh hi, night-kun!" ink, the resident artist who is on track to study aboard, waves with a beaming face, while blue facepalms next to him.

"ink, he's our enemy. remember?" the other member of the disciplinary committee says in a resigned tone.

"oh right!" ink exclaims, then makes a heroic pose. "nightmare, what are you doing here?"

"i had a feeling you buffoons will try to break into killer's house, so here i am, preventing you from doing so."

"what do you want to do with color-san?" dream, the head of the disciplinary committee, asks.

"my plan stays the same, dear otouto. with his innate powers, i can rid the world of you and control it," nightmare declares with a chuckle.

"not if i have any say in this!" dream exclaims. he pulls a device out of his bag and a light engulfs the surrounding area. when it dies down, it reveals dream, blue, and ink in different color-coordinated outfits and cutesy-looking weapons: dream with a bow-covered bow and arrows, blue with a hobbyhorse hammer, and ink with an oversized brush. they are the secret magical squad, the heroes of the town, the star sanses!

nightmare drops his schoolbag and also transforms. a pool of black goop covers his body from the feet up, and his eye turns from purple to turquoise. his back sprouts tentacles like writhing tapeworms.

"you're gonna die today, starlights..." nightmare grins, and summons his shadowy servant figures to attack.

the star sanses attack back with their magical powers and weapons, the onslaught of minions do not deter them any slightest as they are used to this. after a while, when the empty streets are near destroyed, ink's phone rings.

"uh, wait guys!" ink calls out while batting a minion away then creating a shield so they can duck and read the messages on their phone. "i got a call from dad-1!"

(a/n: everyone is fatherless except for ink and color)

"hurry up then!" blue shouts back, in the middle of a ten-on-one battle himself.

ink shouts back again, "i think i have to go now! i have a cram school session that i can't miss again! or chichi will get real disappointed!" to nightmare he says, "can we have a rain-check on this, night-kun?"

nightmare thinks for a moment before recalling his shadow minions. with a haughty voice, he says, "very well. for ink's scholarship, i will stop here today. but we will continue this this weekend."

with that, he slowly disappears into a black pool in the ground. dream shouts after him, "onii-san, wait!" but too late, nightmare has blipped away, leaving the star trio behind on the destroyed streets.

"uh..." blue says after a somber silence, "so are we still breaking into killer-kun's apartment or...?"

"you guys can do that," ink says. "i have to go to cram school now."

"me and blue-kun can do that. thanks, ink-chan," dream replies with a tired smile on his face, no doubt troubled by his brother's homicidal tendencies again for the ninth time this week.

"no problem!" with that, ink runs away as quick as possible. dream and blue look at each other, then at the building where they will commit their first illegal act together.

meanwhile... at the cooking baking contest (i hope you guys don't forget about this)

"fufu, actually," vamp giggles from her panel, "there will be a fourth judge with us today."

dust and cross look at each other, with both their plates of cookies presented to the judges.

did you rig this with a fourth judge, cross scowls at dust silently.

no, you're the one who did this, dust scowls back, equally silent.

well, even with the fourth judge, you cannot get out of this one, cross sticks his tongue out mockingly.

just you wait, you snotty brat, dust burns a hole in cross with his intense glare.

the mysterious fourth judge comes in, and everyone gasps.

it's epic-senpai himself!

"hi there, bruh!" epic says. "i heard there are free cookies!"

"what," delta utters from the sidelines, absolutely done with this. "is this why you haven't responded to my texts the entire time, epic?!"

mortified, dust whips his head to where killer is in the audience and makes the sign frantically. killer, upon seeing the sign, sends a text to his secret agent standing just near the fire alarm.

emergency time :3, he sends.

seconds later, the fire alarm rings, much to shock and fear of the students in the room.

"what?!" "where's the fire?!" "everyone calm down!"

the sprinklers activate and spray water everywhere. suddenly, multiple hisses and booms occur around the room, freaking everyone else more. everyone runs out of the room, fearing for the lives as the small fireworks occur. killer grins to himself, even as horror suddenly grabs him and whispers aggressively.

"what the fuck, killer?!!" horror darts his eye to delta, who is escorting everyone out, then back at killer. "did you seriously put potassium in the fucking flour?! are you crazy?!"

"it's dust-chan's idea," killer shoots back.

"oh my stars, you guys are insane..." horror bemoans. "i don't know why i even hang out with you..."

"aww, horror-chan~" killer pats horror on his head. "don't worry, next time you can do the terrorizing instead."

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flametrashiraarchive · 1 year ago

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Kyojuro Rengoku NSFW Alphabet

I just realized I posted this on Ao3 but not here!

Minors DNI

Edit: just realized I did in fact also post it here and I'm just a buffoon but enjoy anyway.

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

Congratulations! You just banged the perfect gentleman.

You want a glass of water? Rengoku is in the kitchen, pouring you the most filtered, ice-cold, refreshing beverage of your life.

You need cuddles? He will snuggle FOR DAYS if you let him.

Hips a little sore 😏? He’s already massaging them (although that can often result in another round… he has magic hands.)

He loves when you fall asleep in his arms and will fight off sleep as long as possible so he can just soak in the sensation of holding you and knowing you’re content.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He’s pretty proud of his body, but not vain about it. He’s proud of his strength and what his body can achieve. I think Kyojuro’s the type of guy to flex when he’s alone, though he’s too modest to do it in public. He’s pretty proud of his biceps and he likes when you touch them (it will absolutely give him a boner.)

As for you? It’s a toss up between your stomach or your chest. They’re comfortable to lie his head on. if you let him put his head on your chest and you stroke his hair he'll be asleep in seconds.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Yours? UMAI.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s a futon humper. His favorite way to get off when he’s alone is to grind his hips against the futon and imagine it’s you.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Regardless of experience, you can bet your ass that he’ll dedicate himself entirely to learning how to please you. Please be open with him about what you like. He wants to learn and he wants to make you happy.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything face-to-face so he can maintain eye-contact. His hearing isn’t great so he likes to watch your reactions and make sure you’re loving it as much as he is.

Doggie feels great too, but he’ll be leaning over the entire time to kiss your neck and jaw.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

I don’t think he’s especially goofy (although he will absolutely laugh if things go awry before getting right back to it. He’s great at relieving tension). He smiles a lot though. Pleasing you makes him so happy he could burst.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet matches the eyebrows. I hope you like bush.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He’ll hold your hand throughout, entwining his fingers with yours while he showers you in compliments and kisses. “You’re so beautiful,” "So perfect," “You’re taking me so well,” “You feel so good.”

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

The first time he jacked off while thinking about you, he felt so guilty he followed Tengen around for a day trying to pluck up the courage to get it off his chest and ask for advice.

Tengen’s response? “Ask if they wanna watch next time.”

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Edging! The longer you can delay his gratification the better. Kyojuro thrives on discipline and he loves savoring sensations.

It also goes without saying that this man has a praise kink (both giving and receiving)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He prefers privacy, somewhere you won’t be disturbed and he can take as long as he wants to.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going?)

Oh this poor man. With you it feels like everything gets him going. Eye contact, your laugh, your strength when you train together, the way your body feels against his when you hug him, your hands, your scent. He's smitten.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He won’t hurt you. Even spanking makes him nervous.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

UMAI! You may as well rename your bits "the bento box", because Kyojuro is going to eat them many, many times.

As much as he loves getting blowjobs, this man is the absolute king of going down. He’ll spend days between your thighs if you let him. If you want to make his year, grip that little ponytail and push his face down as you grind against his mouth. He’ll never stop thinking about it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He'll be whatever you need him to be, but he prefers to take his time. It takes a lot of convincing for him to be rough with you though. He doesn't want to hurt you.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If you want a quickie, he will happily oblige, but it's all for you. He might not cum (but he'll absolutely make sure you do.)

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He'll try new things with you. But risks? This good boy? Nah.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Three words: total concentration breathing. He has a lot of control over his body, so he can last a loooooong time, but once he cums he's done (as long as you don't need anything you've got about two minutes until he's passed out). But don't worry, he's the foreplay king. You'll cum plenty of times.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not unless you want to use them. If you do, prepare for the tag team of a lifetime. Congratulations, you just gave Kyojuro a new way to make you happy, and he's going to make sure you're delirious by the time he's through with you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh boy. If you're in the mood for teasing, he will absolutely indulge you. He'll spend all night touching you ALMOST exactly where you need him to until you're begging him to let you come. He'll take it so slow, telling you to control your breathing when you get too excited, making sure that every nerve in your body is tingling.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

You better start baking lots of tasty treats for your neighbors. Kyojuro has no idea how loud he is and he will 100% let you know how much he's enjoying himself. Whimpers, groans, wanton moans. And if you edge him long enough he's not above begging.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He blushes a lot, all the way down to his stomach when he's really turned on. And he'd love it if you took charge. Pin him down, tell him he's pretty, tease his poor cock until its weeping rivers of precum. He loves when you kiss (and gently bite) his hips and thighs too. Having your lips just a few inches from his cock drives him wild.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's exceptionally average but will put his entire soul into fucking you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He's good at suppressing urges when they come at inappropriate times, but he is absolutely DTF whenever you are. He never knows when he'll be called away on a long mission, so he'll take any opportunity for intimacy he can.

Those moments he's just staring and not blinking? He's thinking about going down on you until you're a panting mess.

The only time he'll make you wait is if he's training, and even then he'll invite you to watch. If it's a secluded spot, he'll maybe strip to the waist and continue training, knowing you're absolutely checking him out but feigning innocence.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If you're content and there's no possible way he can make you happier, he'll fall asleep quickly. He sleeps better when you're touching him (spooning is his favorite– big or little spoon, he doesn't care. Please cuddle this man and stroke his hair. He deserves it.)

#rengoku x reader #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #rengoku smut #rengoku kyōjurō #kimetsu kyojuro #kimetsu rengoku #rengoku headcanons #rengoku kyojuro #kyojuro x y/n #kyojuro drabble

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themastaralex · 11 months ago

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Christmas Eve at Satoru's

a/n: happy Christmas, I was honestly supposed to upload this yesterday, but I got lazy and all, but anyways, take this Maki story as my Christmas present to you!!

Summary: It's Christmas Eve and Maki's been weird, as per usual: wanting to get out of the festivities, but then everyone starts acting odd. What the hell's wrong with them?

Christmas with everyone from Jujutsu High is hectic, to say the least. At Satoru's house, too, of all places.

Because first off, at least one person needs to make sure that Yuji and Panda don't eat everything, then that Maki and Megumi don't try to escape the festivities, and that Nobara quits whining to Satoru to let her see her present.

Overall, it's hilarious, because you and Toge are funnily enough the only two “responsible” kids.

And to stay in the spirit of Christmas (and also to keep Maki and Megumi from running away in their typical Zenin fashion), you force them to help you put ornaments on the tree, with possible rewards from you and Yuji.

They're both too stubborn to admit they'd like that, or to even look either of you in the eyes after that.

“Shut up and suck it up before I force Toge to tell you guys to stop moving.” You sigh, your left hand on the back of your neck as you watch Maki hang an ornament with no energy to it; no passion in her movements.

“Maki, you're so stiff. Like damn, put some elbow into it.”

She just silently glares at you, because now she's pissy that she has to stay with everyone else and “willingly” endure being stuck with everyone for the next few hours until midnight, as if she doesn't spend enough time with these buffoons in classes.

“Shut up. I'll put some damn elbow in something else alright.”

And now she's definitely talking about elbowing you in the stomach. Just some friendly jokes, y'know?

She grins, but it comes with an almost murderous glare. Honestly, if you weren't dating, you'd probably take it seriously.

And for once, Yuji gets his mind off eating and instead goes on to help everyone else with the ornaments and things on the tree. Sure, it's Christmas Eve, but something’s better than nothing, no?

Over the course of the next 10 minutes, everyone manages to get the tree all nice and pretty, with ornaments and tinsel.

And so, with that out of the way, it's still early, and definitely not time to open any presents (It's only around 4 PM). Everyone moves to sit down in the living room, on Satoru’s very, very, expensive leather L shaped couch.

That couch has cup holders in between some of the seats, and most of the seats are reclinable except the long seat shaped like a bed.

And thus, everyone sits down. Oddly enough, Maki makes sure to sit away from you, much to your surprise.

“Um.. The fuck're you doin’?” You raise a brow, watching her sit next to Toge. You know very well she would NEVER willingly sit next to Toge if given the choice. You seem almost dismayed at her choice to not sit next to you and allow you to rest your head on her shoulder.

“I'm sitting down.”

Her response causes Toge to look at her from a side eye, and under the collar you know he's giving you that funny Shrek meme look.

Not even just Toge, but Nobara also gives a quick glance, moving to sit on your right. Maki is sure damn lucky that the cup holder thing and Toge are separating you from her, or else she'd be getting strangled right now.

In an almost hilarious reverse of fashion, you glare at her, absolutely flabbergasted by her decision.

“Right. Gotcha.” Your voice carries that sort of disappointed tone to it, and honestly, it almost makes her get up and sit next to you. But no, she has to stay strong.

“Mhm.”

After that, the room pretty much goes silent, seeing as Maki pretty much inadvertently caused a small bicker between you two.

It goes silent and has everyone sitting back into the couch, then Satoru enters, happy as always.

“Okay, guys! So, we're gonna watch Christmas movies, then we'll eat, then we'll watch Christmas movies again, then we'll open presents!” His eyes move toward Nobara for that last sentence, clearly directed towards her. She does a little clap, in spite of the awkwardness of the whole room.

Satoru notices this, but makes no comment, instead, he continues to talk. He basically just says they'll choose a couple of movies. And they do, the Home Alone movies, then Ice Age onward from the second one (everybody hates the baby in the first one).

All throughout the movies you catch Maki whispering to Toge and Panda, which honestly isn't that hard to do since Toge's like 2 feet away from you. But what's hard to catch is whatever they're talking about.

So you just ignore them, and definitely ignore how Maki's sitting right now. Manspreading in her usual fashion when she's not in her uniform. Actually, no, even in her uniform, she does it to a certain point.

You try to ignore it, because it's insanely hot. Yeah. Especially since she's wearing black sweatpants and a tight gray t-shirt with the sleeves that perfectly tighten around her biceps. Not to add insult to injury, but the shirt is very clearly showing off her muscles, namely her very toned stomach.

“What the shit…?” You mutter under your breath, and you're definitely completely bewildered. She's wearing this, when she's told you before, very distinctly, ‘God, you're so weird. Wearing anything tight like that would literally kill me from embarrassment.’

The ‘thing’ in question; a black compression shirt, which she would likely use in the gym.

But now here she is, wearing something very similar to that. Huh?

Whatever. She's ignoring you, so it's only fair to ignore her back for today. Even if today is Christmas.

Of course, Maki did it on purpose. She did it on purpose, and the way she's acting right now is on purpose too.

You just lean back into your chair, reclining it, and relax as you keep your mind off Maki or anything about the possible presents anybody got you.

..damn it. Now you're gonna be stuck thinking about that all day. And by all day, I mean for 15 minutes, because then you fall asleep.

Exhaustion is crazy when you're a Jujutsu Sorcerer, especially a Special Grade.

Nobody wakes you up. So when you do wake up, you wake up to nobody around, the TV still running on Home Alone 3, and you have the distinct feeling you just slept for a couple hours.

“Guys? Where the hell did y'all go?” You sit up after a few moments of just looking around. “The fuck..?” You sigh out, closing the chair, then standing up to look around the house.

Nothing in the living room (obviously), nothing on the kitchen, nothing in the other living room.

What the hell, seriously? Did they just decide to go out and ditch you because you were sleeping..? Nah, Toge would have woken you up with a series of pokes on your cheek. So then, what?

Who knows, because after you get and eat a snack from the kitchen and you go back to sit in the living room, all sad and shit, 20 minutes later, you see Satoru come inside the open kitchen with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Satoru! Where the hell is everyone?” You ask him across the goddamn room.

He looks at you with a funny face, as if he just got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar.

“What do you mean? They're training in the dojo. I thought I texted you we were in the dojo.” He holds a glass of water in his hand, as he walks to you and ruffles your hair.

“Oh, little sister. Paranoid much?” He teases, as you slap away his hand.

You take out your phone from your pocket as Satoru shrugs and starts to walk away. And in fact, yes, someone texted you they were in the dojo.

Maki:

in the dojo when you wake up

Sent around an hour and a half ago.

You're seriously stupid. Braindead, even. Hakari levels of stupid.

Regardless, you start making your way to the dojo, where you and Megumi have sparred. Many, many, times.

The second you enter the dojo by sliding open the doors, you see Maki, Panda, Nobara and Toge all watching Megumi and Yuji spar, in what is a very one-sided fight.

“Sheesh. Talk about an ass whoopin’.” You laugh, as you head inside the room, closing the doors behind you. Maki glances at you, calling the match to Yuji.

“Alright. You and me, Gojo.”

Maki still sometimes feels odd calling you that because it's also Satoru’s last name, but it's really nothing.

You recoil, because you literally just got here and Maki already wants to shove her elbow into your stomach.

“Ah.. Already? Couldn't wait a couple minutes?”

She gives you an amused look, along with a very smug smile. She steps into the ring, as you scoff, pulling off your hoodie and throwing it behind you toward the wall.

“Let's just hurry this up.”

You seriously don't want to spar Maki, but it's inevitable now. You step into the ring, confident in your steps, but then again, you don't even want to be here.

The spar passes by in a blur, mainly because you're distracted, and not really making any moves to defend yourself. So when Maki has you pinned down, face down, hands at your sides being held down by her own, and her knee at your lower back, you're not surprised.

“You distracted or something?” Her brash voice makes sure to keep you focused on her, as you move your head to the side to look at her with your left eye.

You take a small breath in, then mutter, “Somethin’ like that.”

After a moment, she moves off of you, standing up and moving backwards a bit.

“Okay. Um, well, I won. Go sit down.” Maki says, and you comply, grabbing your hoodie and bringing it with you.

And so, as they continue to spar, Maki goes up against everyone else, easily winning against everyone. Even against Yuji.

And once again, it gets increasingly difficult to focus on the fight, and not just on Maki completely.

‘Damn it. Stop. She's ignoring you, why the hell can't you stop wanting to stare at her?’ Your thinking gets you nowhere, especially since Maki can see how much you're staring at her. Kind of gives her an ego boost, seeing her girlfriend looking at her even as she's ‘ignoring’ you.

She's going to continue to be smug about it for the rest of the day, in all seriousness. And she's not kidding.

Even as the time gets close to midnight and everyone gathers around the tree for presents, she has that stupid smirk on her face.

Of course, Satoru does Nobara's present last, and it's honestly hilarious, because he gets her a gag present. Just a box in a box in a box.. Until she gets to a very small box, which holds Satoru's debit card.

Almost everyone groans and sighs, because this only means two people are going to be forced to go shopping with her. He set a limit however, only a couple thousand a month (yeah, like 10 thousand).

There's no present after hers however, and you still haven't gotten anything.

“Satoru, what gives? No present for me?” You ask, raising a brow. You've been very specific about what you've wanted all year, a God of War Ragnarök PS5 bundle, or some Oakley Prizm glasses (the type that rednecks use, but that's okay, because when you wear them, it's not cringe).

“No, there's definitely a present for you.”

The way he says it is definitely off, a small smirk on his face. Oh, you hate him. So damn much. Brothers.

“I got your present, sweetheart.”

Her voice is ever snarky, as she holds a box large enough to hold a PS5 in it. She moves back toward the doorway, and you're stupid enough to follow her.

Well, not stupid, more so just desperate for her attention at this point. Or would it be for her affection?

So you walk over to her, paying no mind to your surroundings. Just her and the present in her hand.

Just her and the present. Her, because of the sole fact she's barely given you attention all day, and the present, well- That's just because it's your Christmas present from Satoru, and it's bound to be expensive.

“Goddamn it, Maki. Just give me the present.” You stand in front of her, in the doorway, as she grins and looks up for a moment. Then you do the same.

It's fucking mistletoe.

You look back down right at her smiling face, and you might have felt the urge to glare at her to no end, but now, nah..

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

With those shining eyes and pure grin, you don't care about what's in the box at this point. You just want to kiss Maki.

You lean in close to her and place your hands on her neck, your thumb on her cheek, pulling her close too. It's mainly because of the box in her arms that you have to do it like this.

Your lips press together, and it's evident that Maki put on chapstick, cherry flavored chapstick. Meanwhile you, chapped ass lips, but Maki doesn't give a single fuck, seeing as normally, both yours and hers lips are a bit chapped.

You only know that it tastes like that because you instinctively run your tongue over her bottom lip after a moment. Pulling back a few inches, you smile.

“Cherry, Maki? Didn't take you for the type to use that.”

“Oh, don't be so surprised. Besides, if you keep asking questions, I'm not giving you this present.”

You softly laugh, your eyes falling down to the box then back up to meet her gaze.

“That's funny. You better give me the damn box.”

It was a PS5, God of War edition. But Satoru wasn't the one who bought it.

Maki did. She spent around 700 dollars getting that, just for you. She's pretty broke, but for you, she'd sell her kidney.

So as you two lay in bed a few hours later, with your head on her left shoulder, left arm wrapped around her waist, you're happy.

Sure, she ignored you earlier, but that was on purpose. She didn't want to ruin the surprise she had by pulling it early.

“Thank you, Maki.”

“You're very welcome. Gotta be honest, you're very expensive to shop for.”

Quiet laughter escapes your lips, as she pulls a blanket over both of you.

“Well, depends on what holiday you're shopping for.”

Maki doesn't speak for a moment, but then she playfully scoffs. “You're expensive for all of them.”

Shit, she's got you there.

“..yeah. Fair enough.”

You both lie there in silence for a few minutes, almost falling asleep, before you come on out and say it.

“I love you. Good night.”

Her face slightly warms up at the words, she always does whenever you tell her you love her.

“Good night. I love you too.” It's such a natural response to your words, rolling off her tongue.

She probably loves you a little too much, based on how her arm tightens around your body, or how even in the dark she can remember every part of you.

She loves it.

#god i need her so bad #jjk x reader #jjk x you #maki x reader #maki x you #maki zenin #maki zenin x reader #zenin maki #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #gojo satoru #toge inumaki #panda jjk #maki is so gay for you #she deserves the entire world #maki would be so warm while cuddling to be honest

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