#cut to them arguing over who should hide behind who

[vanfleeter]

Old Flame

Summary: After a failed marriage comes to its end, Jake finds himself on the doorstep of an old flame. One he learns he never should have let go out. Characters: Jake Kiszka x Anna Word Count: 8.1k Warnings: 18+ || Language. Adult Themes. Adult Sexual Themes. Angst. Divorce. Affair. Yelling. Arguing. Throwing things. Tears. Self doubt. Ultimatums. Toxicity. Broken and strained relationships. Smut. Sex. Penetrative sex. Fluff. Soft Jake. (as always let me know what I missed so I can add it to the list)

Jake swiped his pen over the documents, signing each one with a ballpoint pen. He scoffed to himself as he dropped the pen to the granite countertop and slid the papers across the smooth service away from him. They had only been married for a year before she made the first move towards a divorce. Why? She just didn't want to be tied down. Whatever the fuck that meant. Due to their prior agreements, she got half off his money in the end.

Sliding off the barstool, he walks over to the drink cart in the living room and pours himself a drink.

“Just because this happened, doesn't mean we can’t be–” She tried to speak before he cut her off.

“We can’t be anything.” He says, lifting the glass to his lips to take a drink.

“I still love you..”

Jake rolls his eyes and lowers the glass, staring at it as he runs his index ring over the top of it. “I’m starting to think you don’t know what love is.” He says, trying to remain calm, but the anger courses through his body and suddenly he’s throwing the glass in her direction. Much to his surprise, she dodges it and the glass collides with the wall, breaking into many small pieces. “I gave you everything!” He shouts. “Not once have you ever given me anything in return!”

“I agreed to marry you!”

“Oh fuck off!” He spats. “You make it sound as if I had forced your hand. You had a choice, May! You could have said no and we wouldn't be here.”

“But I loved you when I said yes, I thought I saw a future with you.”

Jake scoffs once more, rolling his eyes again. “What changed then? Did I not pleasure you well enough?”

“That is not the reason.”

“No?” He nods his head in a sarcastic manner. “So then tell me who that man was you would sneak in here while I was away..” May’s face drains of color and he dryly laughs. “You thought I wouldn't know you had been having an affair? The reason you didn't want to be “tied down”? You love me… Ha!” He shakes his head and starts to walk in her direction. He stops just a few inches from her and leans down to speak in her ear. “I hope he’s worth it because as soon I walk out that door, you get nothing more from me. No more of my money and certainly no more of my body. Do not come crawling back to me when his dick doesn't satisfy you anymore.”

Walking away from her, he grabs his belongings he packed up prior to the signing and leaves the house without one single look back. Though he hid his true feelings behind a wall of crood words and hatred, his heart was breaking from within. The woman he had loved for several years–the one he proclaimed his love for in front of a church full of their cherished loved ones–had the guts to stab him in the back by betraying the vows they had promised one another. Sleeping with another man and she was the shocked one? She should have known that he would have found out sooner or later.

He was grateful for the divorce in a way. He no longer had to hide in the shadows, watching as this man fucked his wife in their bed, a bed they had made love to each other for years. A bed that was stained with their love–or whatever they had then. Now it didn't feel as if it were love. Now it just felt as if he was used. His money, his body. He gave her everything and yet she betrayed him and gave her body to someone else.

For weeks all he could hear in his head were her moans penetrating the walls that first night he caught them together. They must not have heard him arrive back home because he could hear them from the front door. He had to fight back the urge to storm into that bedroom and fight the man who had the nerve to sleep with a married woman–his wife. But then the puzzle pieces fell into place–one by one–as he pieced together the truth. A truth she had been hiding from him. The decency she thought she had to lie to his face, claiming to have missed him while he was away.

He thought it would end if he could prove to her that he was the better man–her husband. So every night since he came home from a six month long tour, he would fuck her however she wanted him to and wherever. Anything to prove that he was still worthy of her and to prove that she didn't need to find pleasure from someone else’s body.

Until he came to the realization that no matter how often he fucked her or how he did it, he would never replace the man that she really desired. The diamond ring on her finger didn't stop her from tainting their marriage.

Instead of the love he had once felt for her is now the hatred that had been burning in the pit of his stomach for months.

As he drove, his mind wandered to someone else. Someone that he hasn't seen in years since she went away for a job opportunity in Seattle. Though she was back in Nashville, he still hadn't seen her, having been so focused on the band and trying to save his marriage. But he still remembered the way to her home, the same home she kept even after she moved, knowing she would one day come back.

If he were to show up to her house, would she want to see him? Would she let him in? The way things ended between them wasn't as drastic as his failed marriage has ended now, but they also didn't end on good terms either.

The one fight.

Words spewed at each other that neither of them meant but still cut them both so deeply.

He had begged her to stay, that he could provide for both of them and she wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. But it wasn't worry that she felt. It was desire. She craved freedom in the moment, not wanting to be tied down just yet.

Sensing a theme yet?

Of course she loved him, she had never loved someone quite like she loved Jake. She had dreams and plans of marrying him someday but it just wasn't the right time. Though she had dreams of marrying him, she also had dreams of building this career for herself and having something that was hers. At the time, he didn't quite understand that. He didn't understand that she was an independent woman, not wanting to rely on someone else to take care of her.

They broke up the night before she was to leave for Seattle and they hadn't spoken since. He didn't see her off at the airport, he never called or sent texts, nor did she either. They both aimed to forget about each other, thinking it would numb the pain. In time it did, he fell in love with someone new and so did she–for a little while. It didn't last because she knew her heart still belonged to Jake.

Pressing his finger into the doorbell, the sound of it echoes inside and he takes a step back. He left his things in his car, unsure of how this might play out for him. A few minutes ticked by and he was going to reach for the doorbell again when the door opened. In front of him and still looking as beautiful as he last saw her, stood his first ever true love. Though they were mid-thirties, not quite at the stage where they should be growing gray hair, he could see a few strands lining her forehead. Her eyes still held the same sparkle he used to see before, only now they were shielded by a thin pane of glass.

Anna.

“Jake?” Her voice shakes slightly as she stares at him in surprise. Her face had slowly grown pale as if she had seen a ghost.

He nods his head, unable to form words to speak. Seeing her after all the years, his breath was somehow still taken from his body. He felt the urge to pull her into his arms, to hold her once more, but he fought against it, knowing it wouldn't be wise to do such a thing.

“What are you doing here?” She asks.

“I got divorced..” He finally manages to say.

Instantly, she’s pulling him inside the house and shutting the door. Lifting her glasses, she rests them on the top of her head. “Divorce? Has it even been that long?”

He shakes his head. “I saw it coming, despite how hard I tried to keep it at bay.”

She leads him further into the home and into the kitchen. Passing through the hall, he notices the pictures on the walls have remained the same. He stopped walking when he saw a framed photo of the two of them. He remembers exactly where they were when that photo was captured.

“Jake, I don’t know about this..” She says as he helps her up to the top of the tower. “You know I don’t do well with heights.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Jake says as he slowly walks her over to the ledge. “Just don’t look down.”

“Gee, why didn’t I think of that?”

“Look at the view,” He says. “Imagine living in a castle as grand as this used to be with this perfect view of the ocean.”

“I think I’d rather stay closer to the ground.”

Jake chuckles, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her cheek. “Let’s stay just like this forever..”

“Want anything to drink?” Looking away from the picture, he turns towards the kitchen. She’s standing by the fridge, holding the door open. “I have milk, orange juice, and tequila in the freezer.”

“I probably shouldn't drink..” He says as he walks into the kitchen.

“What did you do?” She asks, already knowing something had occurred before he left his house.

“I may have thrown a glass…at May..” He mumbles as he slides onto a bar stool, keeping his eyes anywhere but hers.

“Jacob…” She sighs.

“I know, I know.. I let my anger get out of control..” He says, before burying his head in his hands. “How did my life get so bad? I thought we were happy.. I gave her everything I had… She took most of my money too in the agreement…”

“Do you need help?” She asks.

Jake nods his head. “No… I still have plenty.. The bands are still making money plus all of the side projects I have going on. I’m steady for now and I’ll be getting more once the house sells.”

“You’re selling the house?”

Jake nods his head and takes the glass of water that she slid across the countertop to him. “Also a part of the agreement.”

“Oh…”

“I don’t want to sell it, but I have no choice..” He says. “That place holds a lot of memories..” He glances up at her and she looks away. “But that’s all it is.. A house full of memories.. There’s nothing for me to hold onto anymore.”

“I always wondered what you did with it when I left..” She says. “Is that hole still in the wall in your office where your guitar fell?”

Jake scoffs, nodding his head. “I still haven't gotten it fixed.”

“The wall or the guitar?”

“The wall..of course,” He smiles. “Probably should get it fixed before the house goes on the market.”

“Isn’t she still going to be there?”

“I hear the tone of disdain,” Jake smirks. “And you don't even know why we’re divorcing.”

“Judging by the state you’re in, she’s the reason for it.” Anna says as she leans against the countertop. “What’d she do? Spill the tea.”

Jake chuckles and takes a drink of water. “May was having an affair.. Was going on for months while I was away. Caught them when I came home. I didn’t know what to do so I left.”

“But you really wanted to do something else, didn’t you?”

Jake nods his head. He takes another drink before continuing. “I wanted to storm up there and beat the shit out of him. She was married–she was my wife. He had to have known all of that. The pictures on the walls and our dresser should have been a clear indication but I just knew he ignored it all.”

“But instead you left..”

“Yeah.. Ended up crashing on Danny’s couch until I was sure they weren’t fucking anymore..”

“Did Danny ever question you?”

Jake shakes his head, folding his hands together in front of him. “I know he had his suspicions but he never pushed to ask me about it.”

“Then what happened?”

“I went home the next morning–pretended that my flight had been delayed and my phone was dead so I couldn't call to let her know.. She lied so well, I truly think she started to believe herself–but I knew the truth, I knew everything.”

“And Josh doesn't know about this?”

“No… I haven't said a thing about this to him. I kept pretending to everyone that our marriage was good–that we were good. I didn’t want to be a disappointment to the family..”

“You’re not a disappointment,” Anna says, shaking her head. “You tried to make your marriage work, but there's only so much you could do.”

“He’ll only say ‘I told you so’.. He never liked May from the start and he made damn sure that I knew that. He didn't even come to the wedding.” He could see Anna’s jaw drop ever so slightly, shocked that Josh would pull something like that. “Yeah… He was supposed to be my best man but never showed up so Sam stepped in at the last minute. We haven't spoken since…”

“Wait..” Anna says, waving her hands in the air in front of her. “You haven't spoken since the wedding? That was what…”

“Over a year ago..” Jake mutters.

“Wow.. I’ve never known you two to go more than maybe a week without talking to each other and that’s even when you’re just busy..”

Jake shrugs his shoulders and takes another drink of his water. “The band’s on a hiatus to give everyone a break for a little while.. Haven't really had the need to talk to each other..”

“Jake, I’m sorry…”

“I’m not..” He grumbles. “He made his choice.. I’m over it.”

“You don't seem like it,” Anna said as she walked around the island and sat on a stool beside him. “Is that why you came here–because you can’t go to him?”

“I wouldn't have gone to him regardless..” Jake says. “I came here because…” His voice trails off. He honestly didn't know why he came here. She just came to his mind. “I don't know..” He looked at her and for once he felt comfortable with himself. He didn't feel any judgment from her or even pity. He was on neutral ground, no one to scold him, no one telling him ‘I told you so’, and definitely no one making him feel like he isn’t good enough to their husband.

“Well I’m glad you did,” She says with a beaming smile. “I’ve been wondering how you’ve been–though now I guess I do now,” She laughs. “Sorry.. I’m not laughing at you..”

A smile twitches at the corners of Jake’s mouth. “I’ve been wondering about you too,” He says. “We haven't seen or spoken to each other since…”

“We broke up.” She finishes for him.

“Yeah..” He says, looking back at the glass of water sitting in his hand. “Anna, I’m sorry..” He starts. “We ended on not-so-good terms and I apologize.. I know I said some hurtful things–things I didn’t even mean and–”

“Jake, there’s no need to apologize,” Anna says, resting her hand on his shoulder. This wasn't the same feeling as when she pulled him inside the house, but this time he felt her.

“We both said things neither of us meant,” She continued. “Can I be honest?” Jake turns his head back to look at her. “I wish we didn't end at all..”

“What?”

“I should have fought harder but I knew you weren't going to budge.”

“Why didn't you ever call?”

“Because I was too stubborn.. I wanted to prove to you that I could survive without you.”

Jake sighs, allowing his head to drop. “I shouldn't have said that to you. I knew you would, I guess I just wanted you to feel like you couldn't because I was too stubborn myself to let you walk away so easily. I thought if I could manipulate you into believing you couldn't, then you’d stay. I guess now that’s my problem.. I tried to do the same with May.. I tried to make her believe that I was better than the man she was sleeping with..”

“I don't think that would be manipulation on her, Jake.. I think it was more of you trying to believe that you could be better. If you just did all the same things he did, maybe then she’d stay.”

“I could never be like him.. I don't even know why I tried..”

“Because you loved her..”

“Love shouldn't be used as manipulation.”

“No, you’re right.” Anna says, nodding her head. “We do things we shouldn't do because not only can love be a good thing, but it also can be used as a weapon.. And if we misuse it, we end up changing what it’s really meant to be.”

“I’m sorry..” He says. “I abused it and I abused you.”

Anna shakes her head. “None of that.. I’ve moved past it.” She then slides off the stool and places her hands on her hips. “Since you’re here, think you can help me with something?”

Jake furrows his eyebrows but follows her anyways to the second floor. She stops in front of a door and turns around to face him. “I haven't touched this room since we broke up and I left for Seattle.”

“Okay?”

Anna twists the knob and pushes the door open. His eyebrows perk up when he sees most of his things still in the same places they had been before. One of his guitars was lying on the couch, old song sheets he had been filling up were still sprawled out on the coffee table. Though the candles were long since burnt out, they still sat in the same spots around the room. This room has remained the same for the last several years and though they never lived together, he spent a lot of time here with her, especially in this room.

“You haven't touched any of this?” He asks as he steps into the room.

Anna shakes her head. “No.. Could never bring myself to.” She says. “It held a lot of good memories in here, I was too broken at the time to part with any of it.”

“I’m surprised you never gave me this back,” Jake says as he picks up the guitar from the couch. “Probably needs some tuning,” He says, sitting down on the couch and strumming chords. They sounded completely out of tune and he chuckled. “Definitely needs a tune up.”

Anna smiles and leans against the door. “Are any of those songs still good?” She asks, nodding her head towards the music sheets.

Jake leans over to the coffee table and picks up one of the sheets. “It’s possible,” He says. “I’m sure I could find a place for them.”

The doorbell rings and Jake lowers the paper. “Sorry,” Anna sheepishly grins. “I did order food before you showed up.”

“And I am intruding,” Jake says, standing up from the couch and setting the guitar down.

“No, no!” Anna says as they leave the room. “Definitely not intruding.” She goes to the door to get food, thanking the delivery person, and bringing it to the kitchen. “I may have ordered enough food for at least two people,” She giggles. “I’m starving. So please stay if you’re hungry.”

“I don’t think I-”

“I want you to,” Anna says. “Come on, eat some food and hang out. Get your mind off of things for a little while.”

“You actually want me to stay?”

Anna nods her head and begins to pull the food boxes out of the bags. “I’ve missed having you around.” Jake can’t fight the smile that forms on his face.

To him it felt like an hour had passed, but when he glances at the clock on the wall in the living room, he sees that it’s been at least four since he had come here. All of the talking while they ate just made it seem like it hadn’t been that long. “Have to head out?”

“I don’t know, should I?” He says, looking at her with a bit of a coy look in his eyes.

Anna smiles before pushing herself up off the floor. “Stay a little longer.” She says. “Like I said.. I’ve missed you.” She starts to pick up the empty food containers and puts them back into the paper bags.

The music playing through the speaker changes as Anna is leaving the living room. Jake sits up and listens to it as it plays the beginning notes. Without a single thought or the urge to resist, Jake springs off the floor and heads into the kitchen where he finds Anna tossing the trash into the can beside the island.

“Remember when we used to dance to this song?” He asks.

“Yeah.. I remember.” She says. “Except you’d be wearing a little less clothing.”

Jake chuckles, reaching his arms around her waist. “I’ll stop if you tell me to.” He says, pulling her closer. Her hands press against his chest, and he expects her to push him away but instead she slides her hands to his shoulders. “I didn’t know that I’d miss this, but I guess I do.”

“Oh come on, you can’t tell me that you and May never danced like this?”

Jake shakes his head. “Never.. Always said it was too mushy for her.”

“I’m convinced she isn’t real.”

“Oh she was plenty real,” Jake says. “Just not the romantic type, I guess. We only danced once and that was at the wedding.”

“I am shocked,” Anna giggles. “And you married her because..”

Jake chuckles and spins them both slowly. “I thought I loved her.. I thought she loved me too..”

Soon the song ends and moves on to a lighter, more upbeat song, but they still stand there looking at each other. Jake clears his throat and they both pull away. “Ahem.. Well, I should probably get going,” He says. “I took up enough of your day.”

“Just so you can go stay in a hotel room?” Anna says as she grabs his jacket.

“Anna, give me my jacket.” Anna shakes her head and backs away. “Anna, I’m being serious. Give me it.”

“You are not going anywhere.” She says as she keeps backing away.

“Are you going to hold me hostage?”

“Would that be such a bad thing?”

She got him there. It honestly wouldn't be bad to be held captive by his ex-girlfriend. Someone he truly did love–and still might. Anna winks and takes off running upstairs.

“Not the stairs..” He grumbles as he runs up them as well. Reaching the too of the stairs, he sees her standing outside of her bedroom and shaking his jacket lightly in the air. “Anna, come on. Please give me my jacket.” He says as he walks down the hallway.

“Promise you’ll stay?”

He sighs, stopping in front of her. “I really need to go. Anna, please?”

“Why are you in such a rush to get out of here?” She asks. “Has it really been that bad?”

“Anna..”

“Why’d you even come here then?”

“It’s not like that, I loved being here, but I just got divorced and I can’t just rebound so fast.”

“Rebound?”

Jake mentally smacked his forehead as he sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I am not a rebound, Jake. I don’t want you to stay so I can sleep with you again. I wanted you to stay because it’s a lot better than staying in a crappy hotel. And besides, I’m not the rebound,” She says, crossing her arms over her chest. “She was..”

Jake’s lips twitch at the corners as he begins to smirk. “Were you jealous of her?”

“Pfft, jealous? Please. At least my body’s real.” Jake’s jaw fell slack in disbelief he ever heard her utter such words. He’s never heard her speak ill of anyone, she always kept it to herself. “What?” Anna shrugs her shoulders. “There were times that I wondered why you ever fell in love with her?”

“You thought about me?”

“Yeah.. But mostly about why you were so stupid to want to be with someone like her.”

“You’re sounding like Josh.”

“Yes well, at least I’m talking to you.”

Jake scoffs and leans against the wall. “I wasted all those years with her, when I could have just been fighting to get you back.” He says.

“So why didn’t you?”

“I figured you still hated me,” He says. “We were so mean to each other at the end, I just thought you wouldn't want to talk to me–or even see me.”

“Instead you got together with May.”

Jake nods his head. “At the time I thought I was doing the right thing–moving on. I saw you had, so why shouldn’t I? I kept telling myself that I was better off without you and I could prove that to you. At first it was just a means to rub it in your face, but then I actually started to fall for her. She was sweet then, so kind to everyone, even my family.”

“Except Josh..”

“Yeah, except him. He never came around if she was with me.. I didn't get why he was, but now I see it. It’s because of her we don’t speak anymore. I don’t think we ever will.”

“Did it end that badly between you two?”

“It was so stupid..”

Now they were seated on the floor in the hallway while the music still played downstairs, the sound slightly muffled through the floor. Anna still had his jacket, keeping it resting on her lap as he talked.

“Karma smacked me right in the face when he gave me an ultimatum.. It was either him–or her. Kind of how I gave you an ultimatum before we broke up.. Me or your career..”

Anna could still remember that day like it was yesterday. They were in his bedroom, screaming at each other, trying to get their own words to be heard over the other. It was a useless fight because they knew what would be happening in the end.

“Jake, I really want to do this. I want to have my own career, make more money so that we can live well.”

“We are living well! My band is making so much revenue and with these side projects and extra jobs I’ve been helping with, I’m making more than enough to take care of us both! I don’t get why you want to start a career!”

“Jake, I want to also be my own person! I’m tired of being only known as ‘Jake’s girlfriend’, I want my own identity back! And this is how I’m going to do it, with or without you!”

“Fine.. The choice is yours then.. It’s either me or your fucking career.”

“You’re making me choose?! I can’t have both?!”

“Me or your career..” He says before walking out of the bedroom.

“I realized it wasn’t fair of me to do that.”

“Ultimately we choose the thing that would ruin the best things in our lives,” Anna says. She shifts her body around so she can sit beside him against the wall. “I chose my career and we broke up. You chose May and now your relationship with Josh is severed… Is that why the band is on a hiatus?”

Jake nods his head. “Josh told our management that the band had “differences that needed to be worked out” so for the time being, the band is on a hiatus until Josh and I fix shit between us. Which is fine.. I have other things to work on..”

“But that band was your dream, Jake. Don’t just give it up because you and Josh are in a tiff.”

Jake shrugs his shoulders. “My dream already came true, Anna. Maybe it’s a sign to just move on. We’ve accomplished a lot already.”

“You never struck me as a quitter,” Anna says.

“People change..” He says as he starts to fidget with the button on his shirt. “I gave up on my marriage.. I gave up on you..”

“Your marriage was no fault of your own.”

“And you?” He inquires, turning his head to look at her.

“I gave up on you first,” She says, lowering her head so she’s looking down at her lap. “I made my choice.”

“All because I made you make one,” He says.

“It’s in the past,” She says. “I’m more mature now.”

“Oh are you?” He chuckles.

Anna nods her head, smiling, and looks back up at him. “I’ve learned that my own happiness comes first above everything else. I’ll fight for what I want and I won’t take no for an answer.”

“Is that why you made me chase you for my coat? You won’t let me leave?”

“You still have a choice, but I’d prefer if you stayed.”

“Why must I stay?”

“Like I said earlier.. I’ve missed you.” She says.

“I’m only going to a hotel. It’s not like I can't come back.”

He can come back. She knows he’ll come back, but she wants him to stay. Stay here with her. She lost him once already, she doesn't want to again. Since he showed up on her porch that afternoon, all she could think about was finally getting her second chance with him. She has to know if this is meant to be, if fate is trying to correct their mistakes, realign their paths.

“Just stay here. Besides, my bed is so much more comfortable.”

“I don’t know.. Hotel beds are pretty comfy.” Anna flings his jacket at him and he laughs. “Thanks for the offer,” He says. He stands to his feet and helps her up as well.

She takes him by surprise, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. She feels his arms wrap around her waist, hugging her back. “I have Egyptian cotton..” She whispers in his ear.

He chuckles, pulling away slightly so he can get a better look at her. “You just won't give up, will you?” Anna shakes her head and he sighs. “Fine.”

A storm raged outside, heavy winds and rain. The rain pounded on the windows as the wind whistled and blew. But what woke Anna from a deep sleep was the loud crack of thunder, loud enough to shake the whole damn house. She jolted awake, sitting upright with her hand coming to rest on her chest. As she takes in deep breaths to calm her body, she feels a hand slide over the top of her thigh and soon Jake is sitting up to her. The feeling of his hand on her leg sent goosebumps flaring on her body.

“Remember the angels bowling?”

“I’m not five,” Anna says as she lays back down in bed.

Jake follows and turns over to face her. Even in the dark he can still see how beautiful she is. Whenever the lightning flashes, though she cringes with every strike, it first lights up her eyes showing the immense beauty of them. Those radiant brown eyes that always seemed to bring him comfort whenever he looked into them. He never compared his exes to each other but he began to realize that he never felt the same way when looking into May’s eyes. Sure they were a beautiful shade of blue, but they only reminded him of the ocean, raging and chaotic. Though that was May’s nature.

With Anna, she was always calm, unless prompted otherwise. He always knew the moment her eyes grew a shade darker that she was not happy. He quickly learned her boundaries and knew what made her tick and what made her explode. He knew what annoyed her and what pissed her off. He knew her like the back of his hand.

“You’re staring at me..” She says, drawing him out of his head.

“Sorry..” He mutters, turning back over to lay on his back.

“Jake?”

“Hm?”

“Have you ever thought about what our lives would have been like if we didn't break up?”

“I think we would have been miserable,” He says. “If you had chosen me over your career, I think it would have been rough. You’d resent me and I wouldn't have blamed you.”

“Would you have still loved me?”

“I don't think I could ever stop,” He says. “I don't think I ever did.. Would you have still loved me?”

“No..”

“Oh..”

“Let me explain why,” She says. “It wouldn't have been the love that I felt for you romantically, I would have felt it like I do with any other person that I love. I would have resented you truthfully, I was beginning to feel that way when you made me choose between you and my career. I couldn't understand why it was “either or” instead of “both”. I hated you for making me choose because either choice I made, I would lose something that’s important to me. When I chose my career, I lost you.”

“I’m here now..”

“Jake..”

“Just hear me out..” He says. “And don’t deny that you thought the same thing.. I think this was meant to happen,” He turns back over to face her again and grabs hold of her hand. “We needed to grow apart in order to grow separately. Whatever fucking lesson the universe was trying to teach me, I think I learned it. Anna, I still love you and being with you today? I just felt like I was back where I belonged. I felt like I was home. Dancing with you in the kitchen, I missed that terribly. I missed being close to you and I missed touching you, loving you, making love to you. I wanted to kiss you so badly at that moment but I had a feeling it wasn't the right time. And I know you feel the same because I could see it when you look at me.”

“All you had to say was that you missed me too.” Anna says, turning her head to look at me. “I’ve been telling you that this whole time.”

Jake moves a little closer and turns her head, caressing her cheek in his palm. “Please don’t tell me to stop.”

Anna slightly shakes her head, “I wished you would have kissed me when we were dancing,” She says. “Just like we used to.”

When their lips touched, it felt as if they were brought back to the beginning. The initial sensation one feels for the first time when they know they’ve fallen in love.

Jake’s hand moves from her face and down to her hips, pulling her closer to his body as their kissing deepens and grows more heated. Even as their lungs burned and begged for air, they refused to pull apart. That is until Jake really couldn't breathe and reluctantly gave in. His chest heaved as his heart pounded beneath his ribcage. He hadn't realized her hand was on the side of his face until she rubbed her thumb over his cheek bone.

“You said you missed making love,” She says. “No one could ever love me like you did.”

“Are you asking or just talking?”

“I’m asking,” She says. “Please?”

“You know I would never deny you,” He says, slipping his hand beneath the fabric of her pajama pants, first squeezing her hand, making her giggle.

Jake wakes up to an empty bed beside him, the sun filtering in through the half open curtains. Downstairs he can hear a couple voices, one of which is Anna’s. Changing back into his clothes, he quietly slips out of the room and heads to the top of the stairs. He knows he shouldn't be eavesdropping, an invasion of privacy.

“You never met her..” He hears Josh’s voice.

Josh? He’s here?

“Sounds like I didn't need to,” Anna giggles. “But come on.. He’s your brother.”

“And? He made no effort to fix things.”

“How could he?” Anna says. She hands the warm tea to Josh and sits beside him on the couch. “You have to let him speak to you… I know you miss him..”

Josh looks down at the tea in his hands. “Yeah.. I do,” He says. “But he has to have understood why I did what I did.”

“I think he does..”

“Sucks that a divorce was what made him realize it..” Josh grows quiet again and takes a drink of his tea. “Is he here?”

Anna nods her head. “He’s asleep upstairs,” She says.

“How did he end up here anyways?”

Anna shrugs her shoulders. “I don't know, but I’m glad he did.”

“Second chance?”

“Can that happen?”

Josh takes another drink of his tea before turning his body on the couch to face Anna. “I think so,” He says. “And I’m not just saying that because I think you’re better for him. I say that because somehow he came to you when he could have just gone back to sleeping on Danny’s couch.”

“You knew?” He knew?

“Danny texted me asking if I knew what was going on. Obviously I didn’t know what was going on. I still don’t. I mean.. I know he’s divorced.. I saw May’s post online, flaunting herself all on some guy.”

Leaving the stairs, Jake goes back to the room and grabs his phone off of the nightstand. Sure enough, the top photo on her profile was of her locking lips with the same guy she was having an affair with. Without a doubt the whole world already knows about the divorce that was only just made “official” last night. It hasn’t even been finalized with the lawyers and she’s already flaunting her “new” relationship on the internet.

Not wanting to see her again..ever..he blocked her on everything and tossed his phone onto the bed.

“I told you he was awake!” He hears Josh shout. Looking up he sees his brother standing in the doorway of the bedroom. “Twin telepathy, she still doesn't believe me.” He says as he enters the room.

“I’m surprised you’re here,” Jake says.

“I originally went to your house when I heard about the divorce.”

Jake scoffs. “It’s all over the internet..”

“That too,” He says. “Mom called as well.”

“Fantastic..” Jake grumbles.

“What prompted this to happen anyways?”

“Turns out I’m not who she wanted to be with..” He says. “So you were right, go ahead and gloat.”

“I wouldn't do that,” Josh says. “Despite how much I want to. I know you loved her.”

“I did.. Until I found out she was having an affair.” Jake goes to sit back down on the bed. “I caught her when I got back home from a work trip.. She didn't know I was back so I left and stayed with Danny.”

“That explains it,” Josh says as he sits beside Jake. “Mom’s worried. You might want to call her.”

Jake shakes her head. “I don't want to talk to anyone…”

“Why? The divorce wasn't your fault, it wasn’t even your choice.”

“Doesn't matter Josh, I’m a failure.”

“You are not a fail-”

“Yes, I am!” Jake exclaims as he stands up from the bed. “Apparently sex with me isn't great and I’m not a good enough husband.”

“That’s not true.”

“No?” He says, turning back to face Josh. “Okay so then you get married, be cheated on again and again and later divorced because the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with doesn't feel the same. She wants sex, Josh, sex that apparently I can’t give her.” His eyes begin to fill with tears. “I loved her, Josh, and she broke me..” Josh pulls him in for a hug, holding him close as he starts to cry.

Anna stands outside of the bedroom, leaning against the wall as she listens to their conversation. Hearing Jake cry, believing he wasn’t good enough in his marriage, her heart breaks even more knowing just how deeply he was wounded when he never uttered the words to her.

“You are the perfect husband for someone, I’m sure of it.” Josh says as he pulls away from Jake. “As for the sex? I can’t speak on that.”

“Fuck off..” Jake grumbles as he playfully shoves Josh.

“Oh Anna!” Josh sings out.

“Josh, knock it off.”

Anna steps into the room and walks over to the two of them. “I know you two slept together, so remind him if he’s good or not.”

Jake turns to face Anna, his brows furrowing. “Did you tell him?”

“What? No.”

“Wait.. Stop.. You two.. Last night?” Anna and Jake both glance at each other making Josh’s jaw fall open. “I was talking about back when you two were a thing but last night?”

“It..just happened..” Jake says, scratching the back of his head. “We got to talking to each other and then–why am I even explaining this to you? Do you not approve of that either? I just got divorced, what business do I have sleeping with my ex-girlfriend?”

Sleeping with his ex-girlfriend? Sleeping?

“I’ll let you two figure that out,” Anna says. “I’m going to go get started on lunch..”

As she dumped pasta into a pot of boiling water on the stove, she felt Jake’s hands slide around her waist. “I didn’t mean to say it like that,” He says. “I loved every second of making love with you.”

“It’s fine..” She says as she sets the empty box to the counter beside the stove.

“You don’t sound fine,” He says.

“I don’t know what else you want me to say, Jake,” She says as she turns around to face him. “What is this?” She asks, motioning her finger between the both of them. “You’re right, you just got divorced and now you’re here with me. What is any of this supposed to mean?”

“What if this is our second chance?” He says. “This old flame that used to burn between us, what if we have this chance to reignite it?”

“Do you really want to jump right back into this?” She asks.

“If it means that I get to love you again? Yes. I realized last night while we were together that this is my home–you are my home.”

“This is insane, Jake, don’t you think so?”

“Love makes people do crazy things,” He says. “I showed up here, I don’t know why. Then suddenly we’re having sex in the same bed and it just feels right.”

“Where’s Josh?” She asks.

“He left, why?”

“Good,” She says smiling. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulls him close and presses her lips against his. “May is missing out on a very great man,” She says when they pull apart.

“No..” He says, lowering his head.

“Yes,” She lifts his chin, noticing the tears beginning to fill his eyes. “Hey, you have always been a great man.”

“How could I be? I was such a jerk when we broke up.”

“Yes, true. But before then, you were so loving and attentive. You loved me immensely in all aspects. You were my greatest love.. And who knows, maybe you can be again.”

“Maybe we’ll find out after lunch,” He says. “Before we burn this place down,” He reaches behind her and turns the burner down, allowing the boiling water and pasta to simmer down.

Lunch went by quickly and soon they found themselves right back where they started this morning. Clothes were shredded and discarded in various areas on the bedroom floor. That old flame that was extinguished years ago was finally getting its chance to burn big and bright. Being wrapped up in him for the second time wasn’t the same as it used to be but it still felt right, newer. Both of them are older and mature, both moved on from the past. Not a thought looms over them of his divorce or their past they shared together. All that mattered in the moment was the present as well as the future that dangled above their heads instead.

This time making love to her, he took in more details than he did the prior. She didn’t bear the small hips of her youth, they were slightly wider. Her breasts looked bigger, noting how his hands just barely covered them completely. She was filled in all of the aspects of her body and he found himself falling in love with all of it all over again. His fingers lightly traced the few gray hairs that littered her dark hair. Though she shied away, he would draw her back, reminding her that she still looked as beautiful as she ever did.

“The gray simply comes with the territory of growing older,” He says. “It’s an older beauty that must be cherished just as much as the youthful beauty we still long to have. It means we have lived, continuing to live, growing older with each second and minute that passes us by. Beauty follows us in every stage.”

“You have got to stop reading Jane Austrn,” Anna teases.

Jake chuckles, “It doesn’t come from Jane Austen,” He says. “It comes from Jacob Kiszka.” Anna giggles and lightly swats at his cheek.

“Do you have any gray hairs, Jacob Kiszka?”

“Not one.”

“Liar..” Anna brings her hands up to his hair and begins picking through it. “You do!” She exclaims. “Such an old man..”

“Old?” He fanes offense and rolls his eyes. “So then if I’m old, then that means you’re old too.”

“Never call me old again,” She says, pointing a stern finger at him. “I am not old, I am thirty-five.”

“Almost forty.”

“Jacob, you better shut your mouth.”

“Or what?” He says, raising his eyebrows as he smirks. Rolling over, he hovers above her, flicking his hair off to the side and out from the front of his hair. “Face it, Anna. We’ll be turning forty before we know it.”

Anna groans, “Don’t remind me. My body is already showing signs of middle age.”

Jake laughs and leans down to kiss her. “You and I both. My ass is starting to sag, I think.”

“Oh shut up,” Anna laughs.

Jake laughs again, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He begins to kiss down her neck, instinctively grinding against her center. “Let us grow old together,” He says. “Our asses sagging as our hair grows grayer, making love to each other as often we want. Who knows, maybe a kid or two..”

“I always wondered if you’d have any children by now,” Anna says. “Or at least one.”

“I wanted at least one by now, but she wasn’t ready.” He says. “And if I’m being honest, I only ever dreamt of having children with you. They’d have your beautiful smile, maybe even your eyes.”

“As long as they have your nose,” Anna says as she traces her finger over the bridge of his nose. “But we have to work on ourselves first before we start jumping into becoming parents. We only just reunited, I do not want to rush the time that I have with you–with us.”

“You will always have me–even if we did have little feet running through the house.” He says. “Nothing and no one can keep me from you, not this time.” Slowly he pushes inside of her, feeding on the soft moan that spilled from her mouth. “Let me relight this flame and keep it burning.”

“No more ultimatums?”

Jake shakes his head and thrusts his hips again, pushing deeper inside of her. “No more,” He says. “You will have me—all of me–wherever this new journey takes us, even if I am the one who follows you this time. I do not want to waste seven years of my life again being an idiot. I do not want to let someone use me and not love me for me.”

“I will always love you for you,” Anna says, holding his face in her hands. “I always have.”

@losfacedevil @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @i-love-gvf @katuschka @josh-iamyour-mama @sammysstolenbirks @asendingtothestarsasone @hollyco @musicislove3389 @its-interesting-van-kleep @katiegvf @tinydancer40 @gretavangroupie @lizzys-sunflower @fleetingjake @takenbythemadness @godly-sinsx @psychedelectable @dancingcarbon @cheersdannyx2 @piratejtk @katuschka @musicislove3389 @takenbythemadness @wildbluesorbit

[secretarysong]

bunk bed junction minutes before entering a haunted house attraction: This is gonna be really fun. Let's try to power through like champs!

b2j afterwards: [mayday stumbles out, left ponytail down, other two barely intact, one (1) braid, right pant leg hiked up 2 inches, carrying a half-unconscious zuke 10ft from of the exit before collapsing on her knees in front of the camera crew] My drummer... take him......

[thesecondhandwoman]

A CLOSE CALL

Sevika x f!reader

Synopsis: Sevika was always used to being the saver, never the one saved. But when she went on a mission with you, and it suddenly went south, she experienced opposite roles for the first time.

Request: @veasvka 🤍

Sevika was used to danger. She’d built her life on it, thrived in it, and learned to fight her way out of any corner. Missions for Silco were usually straightforward: go in, get what he wanted, leave a mess behind. This time should have been no different.

It wasn’t.

The stolen shimmer was in their hands, but the ambush had been waiting. Fists, blades, and bullets tore through the warehouse as the fight escalated far beyond what Sevika anticipated.

And, for the first time in years, she hadn’t seen it coming.

It happened so fast that she didn’t realize at first. Her mechanical arm swung forward, pulverizing the face of some unfortunate bastard. Blood sprayed, her eyes locked on the next threat. But she didn’t see the man behind her, moving silently, blade raised high, aimed for the base of her neck.

She heard a shout—your voice—cutting through the chaos.

“Sevika!”

A split second later, she felt the impact. Not the blade piercing her skin, but the weight of your body hitting hers, followed by the sickening sound of steel cutting into flesh.

Her stomach dropped.

She spun just in time to catch you as you fell, the blade slipping free from your side. Blood poured from the wound, staining her gloves as she cradled you against her. “No,” she breathed, her voice shaking with fury and panic. “No, no, no.”

Your face twisted in pain, your hand clutching weakly at her vest. “Got you… covered,” you gasped, trying to smile.

“You idiot!” she barked, though her voice cracked. Her heart pounded as she pressed her hand against the wound, trying to staunch the bleeding. “You didn’t need to do that!”

The attackers were retreating now, frightened by her rage as her mechanical arm lit up with a menacing hum. But none of that mattered. Only you mattered.

“I couldn’t let them…” you choked, coughing weakly. “You’re too important.”

Sevika froze at your words, the weight of them crashing down on her like a tidal wave. “Stop talking,” she snapped, though her voice softened, her tone desperate. “Save your strength.”

You didn’t argue, but your hand found hers, squeezing weakly before your eyes fluttered closed.

The trip back to the Last Drop was a blur. Sevika carried you, her teeth gritted against the rising panic in her chest. Vander’s medics worked quickly, but they couldn’t hide the grim expressions on their faces as they fought to stabilize you.

She stayed by your side the entire time.

Hours passed, and the night crept on. Sevika sat in the corner of the room, her head in her hands, replaying the moment over and over. The sight of you falling, the sound of your pained gasp—it all gnawed at her. She’d faced death countless times, but the idea of your death? That was unbearable.

She should’ve protected you. That was her job, wasn’t it? She was the shield, the one who took the hits. But now? You’d taken one for her, and it made her feel hollow. Weak.

She glanced up at you, lying still in the bed, your breaths shallow but steady.

“You’re not allowed to leave me,” she muttered, her voice barely audible.

The next morning, you woke slowly, your body heavy and your side burning with pain. You blinked against the dim light, your head turning to see Sevika slouched in a chair beside you, her metal arm resting on the table, her flesh hand holding yours.

“Sevika?” you rasped.

Her head shot up, her eyes wide with a mixture of relief and anger. She leaned forward, gripping your hand tighter. “You’re awake,” she said, her voice rough with emotion.

“Yeah,” you replied, your voice weak. “Hurts like hell, though.”

“Good,” she snapped, though the corners of her mouth twitched. “Serves you right for pulling a stupid stunt like that.”

You smiled faintly, your gaze softening as you looked at her. “You would’ve done the same for me.”

“That’s different,” she growled, pulling her hand away to rake it through her hair. “I’m supposed to protect you, not the other way around.”

“Sevika…” Your voice was gentle, but firm. “You’re not invincible. I wasn’t going to let you die.”

Her jaw clenched, her gaze dropping to the floor. “You don’t get it,” she said quietly. “I can’t…” She stopped, exhaling sharply. “I can’t lose you. Do you know what that would do to me?”

You reached out, your fingers brushing against her metal arm. “You didn’t,” you said softly.

Her shoulders sagged, her usual confidence stripped away. “This can’t happen again,” she said, her voice cracking slightly. “I don’t care what happens to me, but you? I can’t—”

You squeezed her arm, silencing her. “We take care of each other,” you said firmly. “That’s what this is. That’s what we are.”

Sevika stared at you for a long moment before sighing heavily. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against the edge of your bed. “You’re too damn stubborn,” she muttered.

“Look who’s talking,” you teased, earning a small, shaky laugh from her.

She lifted her head, her expression softer now. “Just… promise me something,” she said. “No more heroics. Let me take the hits, okay?”

You hesitated before nodding. “Deal, but only in understandable circumstances .”

Slightly satisfied, Sevika leaned back in her chair, the tension in her body easing slightly. She reached out, brushing a strand of hair from your face with surprising tenderness.

“Get some rest,” she murmured. “I’ll be here.”

You gently smiled, giving a final nod before slowly closing your eyes and sinking back into slumber. And the only thing that was truly letting you rest was the fact that you knew she would be there when you woke up, like always.

[band--psycho]

Sylus x Reader - Some Much Needed Rest

Please be kind, reblogs are always welcome and greatly appreciated!

Thank you all for the continued support! I hope you all enjoy this! 💛

Requests are open so if you have any ideas/requests, you're more than welcome to send them over.

I do not give permission for any of my works to be copied or translated onto this site or other platforms!

L&DS Masterlist / Sylus Masterlist /Join My Taglist

Sylus had been leaning against door frame of his study, watching you read through article after article for the last twenty minutes in your pjs.

It was late, well, late for you, it was 2am and your eyes were still glued to the screen of the computer in front you,  with very little thought of sleep. 

He strided across the room; until he was directly behind you; but still there was no reaction from you. 

“You don’t get enough sleep,sweetie,” Sylus stated, leaning down and resting his head on your shoulder. 

“Coming from the man who's awake pretty much all night,” you sassed back, trying to ignore how his breathing was making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. 

“But I do sleep during the day,” he countered back, placing his hands over yours that were resting on the desk, “You, on the other hand, only ever seem to get a maximum of four hours sleep.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as he scolded you.

He made it sound like you didn’t sleep, you did. Maybe a bit less than you should given you worked long hours at the association; but you slept nonetheless. 

“Sweetie,” his husky voice whispered in your ear, making you lose complete concentration on the article you’d been trying so hard to stay focused on, “You need to sleep more,”

In your defense, what you were reading was important research for your next mission the association was sending you on. 

“I don’t know what you’re-” your words were abruptly cut off as you attempted to stifle the yawn that was trying to work its way past your lips.  

You heard a low and deep chuckle fall from Sylus’ lips; mentally you cursed yourself, knowing you’d just proved him right.

“You were saying, sweetie?” he asked quietly, his lips lightly brushing over the side of your neck, you tried not to lean back into him, but you couldn’t help but melt into him. 

“Shut up,” you mumbled in defeat, allowing him to spin the chair you were sitting in around and pull you effortlessly from it and into his arms. 

“Come on, I’ve got you” he cooed,intertwining his fingers with yours and leading you out of the office you’d been hiding away in for the last few hours. 

You could’ve argued with Sylus and maybe you would’ve put up more of a fight had your actions not already given your exhaustion away.

So you followed Sylus, assuming that he was leading you into the guest bedroom you’d been staying in for the last few days, that was until you walked into a bedroom that you knew wasn’t the one you’d been staying in, though it did seem vaguely familiar. 

It took a few seconds of your eyes scanning the room, until you realized where you were. 

This was his bedroom. 

You remembered it from when you’d gotten the brooch from him. 

But why were you here now?

“Sylus?” You questioned drowsily, fighting back another yawn. 

“You need to rest in a room with no distractions or disturbances,” he explained softly, guiding you over to his bed, which was directly in the middle of his vast room. 

When you were in here before, you hadn’t realised how just how vast his room was, nor how comfortable his bed was with its silky black satin sheets. 

It wasn’t until Sylus had interrupted you in the office, that it dawned on you how tired you truly were. 

You blinked quickly, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to stay awake. 

“Get comfortable, sweetie, you can stay here as long as you need to,” he assured you, pulling back the duvet on his bed,with a small smile that made your heart skip a beat. 

You obeyed him, shuffling back a little so that you could get under the duvet Sylus had just pulled back. 

“Where will you sleep?” You yawned, feeling yourself slowly start to succumb to the allure of sleep. 

Sylus couldn’t help the way his heart melted at your words, even when you’re utterly exhausted and on the brink of sleep, you were still worried about him.

It was adorable. 

And it made him love you even more. 

“Don’t worry about me, just rest,” he soothed, kneeling next to the bed, his hand caressing your cheek softly, watching as your eyes slowly began  to flutter shut. 

He went to ride to his feet, but when he felt your hand on his, his movements froze. 

“Stay,” your drowsy voice said; making a small chuckle escape from Sylus’ lips.

He couldn’t remember the last time he slept during the night; but how could he refuse such a request when you looked so adorable asking. 

He couldn’t. 

It was as simple as that. 

So he obliged to your request almost instantly and joined you under the duvet.

You wasted no time in snuggling up next to him, your head resting on his muscular chest.

Instinctively one of his arms wrapped around your middle; whilst his other hand continued rubbing soothing circles onto your cheek, lulling you closer to sleep. 

“Sleep well, darling,” he breathed, kissing you lightly on the top of your head.

The last thing you remember before sleep took hold of you, was Sylus’ low chuckle in response to your mumbled incoherent reply. 

Taglist:

@xacatalepsyx @the-slytherin-poet @deathkat657 @book-dragon03 @fangirlsfandomsss @evilldentists @hao-ming-8 @worm-in-a-bug @babygirl-panda19 @tasha-1994 @popcorn-mochi01 @cheesemachine44 @thegalaxysedge22

[holyblonded]

baby fever | birds of a feather

parings: paige bueckers x black!oc, irene paredes x platonic!oc

summary: while paige is in spain for the summer, she and cecilia babysit mateo for irene

warning: mentions of knives and i think that’s it tell me if i am wrong

notes: this was genuinely the cutest thing to write 🙏🏾 manito is short for hermanito

Cecilia laid on the dune sofa in her apartment, her long legs were placed over Paige's lap as said blonde sat in a cloud of anxiety.

"Baby, are you sure everything will be okay? We've never been responsible for a human that wasn't one of my siblings," Paige voiced her worries to the striker next to her.

Cecilia sent Paige a warm smile. "Don't worry Amor. Mateo is basically my sibling and he's a relatively easy toddler. You just have to play legos with him and he's fine. Oh! Recently he's been into outer space so entertain him on that topic-"

Cecilia's ramble was cut off by the doorbell followed by a rhythmic, yet familiar knock. Once Cecilia moved out, Alexia insisted that there should be a certain knock that all younger and veteran players know for security reasons. Many members like Irene take it seriously— Cecilia hated the knock, which ironically was the beat of the Barcelona Anthem song.

"That's Irene and Lucía," Cecilia announced as her feet carried her towards the door with Paige following close behind. Before Cecilia could open the door, it was opened by a visibly disappointed Irene and a smiling Lucía holding an excited toddler.

"Maitea (sweetheart), why is your door unlocked?" Irene fussed. "That's very dangerous, you don't know who's around."

"There's no one else around," Cecilia deadpanned and she wasn't wrong. Across the hall, the only other people on her floor was Jana and Kika who were both currently home. Not to mention the whole complex was high security.

"Eso no importa (that doesn't matter)," Irene insisted. "Se trata de su seguridad (it's about your safety)."

"Ay, stop fussing, Irene. Cari is grown," Lucía argued in honor of the now twenty year old who she handed over Mateo to. The boy plopped his head down on Cecilia's shoulder and looked at Paige who smiled at him. Mateo smiled back but shoved his face into her neck and waved back at Paige.

"Thanks again for watching him, Cari," Lucía thanked, placing a kiss on Cecilia and Mateo's forehead "Thank you, Paige. Bye, loves."

"Thank you, Paige," Irene followed her wife's lead placing a kiss on the young ones foreheads before closing the door and using a button to lock it.

Cecilia turned around with Mateo in her arms, "Hey, Manito (brother) . Do you remember Paige?"

Mateo shyly nodded, remembering the girl from the celebration party for the championship win the other day.

"Hey, Mateo," Paige greeted as Mateo slightly peaked out from his hiding spot. "Want to play with legos?"

This obviously piqued Mateo's interest as he squirmed to be released from Cecilia's hold and grabbed Paige's hand to pull her towards the Lego bin Cecilia had for him.

Paige sat cross-legged on the living room floor as Mateo eagerly dove into the colorful bin of Legos, his small hands sifting through the pile with purpose.

"What should we build?" Paige asked, leaning forward with a smile that matched the toddler's enthusiasm.

"A spaceship!" Mateo declared, his face lighting up at the idea.

"Of course, a spaceship. Good call," Paige said, her tone serious as though the toddler had just proposed the most genius idea.

Cecilia leaned against the wall, her arms crossed, watching them with an amused grin. "Make sure it has wings and room for astronauts, Mateo. You can't have a spaceship without those," she teased lightly.

"Baby, do you want to help?" Paige asked without looking up, already piecing together the ship's base.

Cecilia shook her head. "Nope. I'm leaving this masterpiece to the two of you. I'll start on lunch."

She made her way into the kitchen, the sounds of pots clinking and cupboards opening mixing with the lively chatter between Paige and Mateo. Every now and then, Cecilia would glance over her shoulder to see Paige carefully listening to Mateo's instructions, his small hands guiding hers to place the Legos exactly where he wanted them.

"Look, Cece!" Mateo exclaimed, holding up their completed spaceship proudly.

"It's amazing, Manito! And so fast! It must be the best spaceship in all of Barcelona," Cecilia praised as she set a cutting board on the counter. "But I need my two engineers in the kitchen now. We have a very important mission: making sandwiches."

Mateo jumped up eagerly and grabbed Paige's hand, tugging her toward the kitchen.

"Alright, Chef Cecilia, what's the plan?" Paige asked playfully as she lifted Mateo onto a stool at the counter.

"Mateo can help me with the peanut butter and jelly, and you, my sous chef, can chop fruit," Cecilia replied, handing Paige a knife and a bowl of strawberries.

The kitchen became a hub of laughter and tiny mishaps. Mateo accidentally smeared peanut butter on Cecilia's cheek, prompting a playful scolding. Paige sneakily ate a strawberry, earning a mock glare from Cecilia. Eventually, the trio sat down at the small table to enjoy their simple but heartfelt meal.

After lunch, Paige followed Cecilia into the bedroom with Mateo in tow, the toddler already rubbing his eyes sleepily. Cecilia carefully tucked Mateo into the small toddler bed she kept in the spare room for visits.

"Do you want a song, Manito?" Cecilia asked softly, brushing a stray curl from his forehead.

Mateo nodded, his eyes half-closed. Cecilia sat on the edge of the bed and began to sing a soft Catalan lullaby, her voice gentle and melodic. Paige stood in the doorway, her heart swelling as she watched Cecilia's calm and nurturing demeanor.

When Mateo was finally asleep, Cecilia quietly left the room and closed the door behind her. She turned to find Paige leaning against the wall, her expression a mix of admiration and something else Cecilia couldn't quite place.

"You're amazing with him," Paige whispered.

Cecilia smiled, reaching for her hand. "He's easy to love."

Paige hesitated, her fingers tightening around Cecilia's. "I think I might have baby fever.”

Cecilia blinked in surprise before a soft laugh escaped her lips. "You? Miss 'I can barely keep plants alive'?"

"I'm serious!" Paige whispered, laughing despite herself. "Watching you with Mateo... I started thinking about our future. I don't know, maybe not right away, but someday."

Cecilia's teasing expression softened. "You'd want kids with me?"

"Of course," Paige said, her voice steady. "You'd be an amazing mom, Cece. Watching you today just confirmed that for me."

Cecilia's cheeks flushed, and she pulled Paige closer, resting her forehead against hers. "Someday," she murmured. "I'd like that too. But for now, let's practice with Mateo and see if we survive the rest of the day."

Paige laughed quietly. "Deal."

[heich0e]

Unkuna for your Christmas drabble game? 🫣

ask game: a christmas drabble from an established AU AU: uncle!sukuna

"ji-chan... why are you looking at pictures of underwears?"

sukuna jolts upright from his place on the couch, dropping his cellphone into his lap in a belated effort to hide the device's screen from the pair of big, curious eyes peering over his shoulder.

"for the love of—" sukuna cuts himself off, whipping around in his seat to see his nephew clinging to the back of the sofa. "stop spyin' on me you little brat!"

"i wasn't spying on you!" yuuji protests, wiggling a little as he attempts to hold himself up off the ground by gripping the sofa cushions with all his might. "you just weren't paying attention to me because you were looking at underwears."

"first of all," sukuna holds a finger in his nephew's face "there's no 's' on the end of underwear." yuuji blinks owlishly, his eyes crossing a little as he stares at his uncle's outstretched finger. the elder then uses it to flick the little boy gently between his brows. "second of all... don't tell your dad you saw that."

"why were you looking at them anyway?" yuuji asks, clambering the rest of the way up the back of the sofa to flop himself down into his uncle's lap. sukuna grunts as the kid lands over his thighs, shifting to accommodate the new intrusion.

"i wasn't."

"were too!" yuuji argues and then laughs.

sukuna sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"i'm buying a present for my friend."

"you're buying your friend underwears?" yuuji blinks up at his uncle in confusion.

"i gotta..." sukuna cuts himself off with a groan. "i gotta buy a christmas present."

"for who?"

"for someone."

"who's someone?" yuuji asks, tugging on the front of his uncle's shirt insistently. sukuna's eyes roll upwards as he takes a deep breath to find the will to deal with this pint-sized annoyance.

"i already told ya,—"

sukuna attempts to pry yuuji's hand off his shirt and then tickles him when the kid's grip refuses to slacken. his efforts are successful and yuuji instinctively lets go of the material when his sides are threatened by his uncle's underhanded attack. he squirms away from his uncle with a giggle, and then takes a seat at his side.

"—it's for a friend."

yuuji's lips purse thoughtfully as he mulls over his uncle's statement.

"i've got friends," sukuna says warningly, sensing what yuuji is about to say.

"isn't that a weird present to give to your friend?" yuuji ignores his uncle's unprompted defense in favour of his own point.

it's sukuna's turn to purse his lips pensively now.

and... fuck, the kid's right.

yuuji slips from the sofa and returns to his previously occupied place at the kotatsu, picking up his green safety scissors to continue his momentarily paused craft. he's cutting snowflakes out of paper to decorate the apartment, though he hasn't quite mastered it yet and is mostly just cutting out variously lopsided triangles.

sukuna flops down face first on the couch with a groan, mulling over his nephew's (annoyingly accurate) point. he listens to the sound of yuuji's dull scissors slicing through paper for a few moments and then picks his head up to look at him.

"hey... what would you get your friend for christmas?"

"i don't get my friends presents for christmas, that's santa's job," yuuji says, looking over at his uncle with an expression that seems to say 'don't you know that?'

a throb of irritation blooms behind sukuna's eyes.

"then how do you know they don't want underwear?" he asks tersely, though his anger is largely misdirected considering yuuji is only six years old.

"because underwears are boring," yuuji says matter of factly. "that's why papa buys mine for me. let your friend's papa buy them underwears, that's their job."

sukuna's lips part for a moment to explain that your father certainly would not be buying you the underwear he has been looking at on his phone a few moments prior, but thinks better of it in the last second.

"what should i get them, then?" sukuna finally asks, his tone far more defeated than it had been a moment prior when he was arguing with the child before him.

"dunno!" yuuji exclaims, examining the 'snowflake' he'd just cut (another hack job.) "what kinda stuff do they like?"

that's the problem. sukuna has no idea what you like—at least not in the way that's gonna help him with his gift giving. he knows what makes you flustered, what makes you scream, but he hasn't the faintest idea about what makes you... happy.

"i know!" yuuji whips around to face his uncle with a look of clarity on his little face, his eyes lit up in excitement.

sukuna waits eagerly to hear his revelation.

"it's fushiguro's birthday next week, and i got him a super cool spiderman toy. wanna see it?"

sukuna flops down on the sofa again in defeat, all hope abandoning him.

yuuji seems offended by his uncle's lack of enthusiasm. "i bet your friend would like it too!"

"don't think so, brat."

yuuji gapes. "but everyone loves spiderman!"

"maybe everyone who's six," sukuna snorts. "my friend's a grown up."

"grown ups can like spiderman too, me and papa watch it together."

"your dad's just an oversized kid anyway," sukuna waves his hand dismissively as he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling overhead.

yuuji laughs, setting about cutting out another horrifically terrible snowflake. "that's what he says about you!"

[thexsilentxwordsmith]

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!reader

Part 5 of Truth or Dare Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Fandom: Call of Duty

Character(s): Simon Riley, Reader

Summary: Things are getting complicated, truths are being revealed, and a decisions are going to have to be made regarding the future. So much hangs in the balance and emotions are high as reality makes this about no more games.

Word Count: 9.8 k

Warnings: light mentions of smut (nothing explicit), pining, mutual pining, heavy angst, forcing a decision

Captain Price bristles at the private’s words, taken aback by this impromptu revelation, but he hides it all behind his usual stone cold stare. A gruff exhale exits his lips as he runs his fingertips over the perimeter of his mustache. “Don’t care ‘bout what happens on off hours,” he says full of contempt at being dragged into this bullshit. “It’s none of my business and it’s none of yours either, so best just drop it private.”

This isn’t how it’s supposed to go; the captain is supposed to march over to the lieutenant’s quarters and break up your little lovefest right this second at hearing his confession. At least that was what the private was hoping for when he decided to make this visit. He needs something more. 

“But sir,” he says more exasperatedly, “it isn’t just after hours. The first time I caught them, the lieutenant and sergeant were going at it in the munitions depot when I walked in; you remember that day you sent me to fetch Lt. Riley. They’ve even been engaging in activities in the field as well. During our mission they neglected their watch duties to screw around like some fucking teenagers. Is that what you call acceptable, sir? Is this how you run your operations?”

Goddammit, now it is Price’s problem. Messing around when off duty or on leave is one thing that can be easily overlooked as you are both adults who are engaging in activities with consent, but risking it all when out in the field is another matter altogether. There are protocols and you are supposed to be professionals. And if this bit of information gets out it could have dire consequences for the validity of this task force. 

“Maybe I should bring my concerns up to someone higher,” the private mutters in the silence that follows as Price mulls over everything in his mind. 

“What did ya say?” the captain fires back as he rejoins the conversation, his firm glare boring holes into the private.

Immediately the young man regrets having uttered it aloud, but there’s no going back now. “I just… I-if I need to, I-I will have to go above you, sir,” he stammers out as he tries to maintain his resolve.

Fuck, this is bad.

Price sits forward in his seat, his eyes never leaving the private even though he tries to divert his gaze; each time he brings it back Price is ready to meet it head on. “You will leave this be private,” Price threatens, his voice firm. “This is not under your jurisdiction, nor is it in your ability to decide who needs discipline in these matters. I will take care of it as I see fit; I am the one in charge, not you. Do you understand?”

“Sir, I should at least get to know that you are going to do…” the private tries to argue some more, but the captain is having none of it.

“You’re dismissed,” Price barks as he points a steady hand towards the door.

“But sir…” he tries to protest again and again he is cut off. 

“I said, dismissed private, or would you rather I start my disciplining with you,” Price says unyieldingly, staring him down with a glare that means he is seriously done with this conversation and with being disrespected. 

Quickly the private gets up from his seat with a furrow-browed nod and a rushed, pointed ‘yes, sir,’ that he mutters through his gritted teeth before he turns on his heels and stalks to the door to fling it open and stomp off into the night, leaving Price alone in his office once more as he slams it behind him. 

With the immediate quiet that follows, all Price can think about is what the private has revealed to him. To have the highly trained professional that is Simon Riley abandon everything to mess around with anyone during a mission is unheard of, but it being you makes this even more complicated. This is territory he has no prior knowledge on; something big must be happening for everything to be turned on its head and he doesn’t know what the fuck he is going to do about it all.

Though he knows he cannot just let this go. At least he has the weekend to think it all over, but he knows come Monday he is going to have to act or risk too much because that private is not going to let this go, that much is clear.

The captain decides that that is enough for the night and packs it up to head out. As he leaves out and turns to get back to his own quarters, his eyes linger over to where a specific officer is housed. “What the fuck have ya done Simon?” Price questions aloud to himself as he steps off into the darkness with much weighing on his mind, pondering the next steps of what actions must now be taken.

Back in the lieutenant’s room, hours pass in the blissfully exhaustive ecstasy produced from your union. Both of you slumber on peacefully, wrapped in one another, entirely unaware of anything outside the confines of the mattress until something unfamiliar makes Simon stir awake.

Intaking a full, deep breath, he fills his lungs with a flood of air as he comes back into consciousness, his eyes fluttering open in a mild panic from movement at his side. It takes him a moment to realize that it is you rolling back over to face him that has caught him off-guard; he forgot that you would still be in his bed. Mystery solved, he calmly settles back down into his pillow and watches the slow rise and fall of your chest, admiring how tranquil you look as your dark eyelashes rest delicately against your cheeks.

It’s been a long, long time since he’s slept beside anyone; he’d almost forgotten how comforting it can be to have another laying beside you. A weak smile spreads across his lips as careful fingers reach over to the side of your head so that he can tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

God, you’re beautiful just like this. How did he get so god damn lucky to have something so pure sleeping soundly next to him? You let out a whispered sigh and suddenly he is caught up in a whirlwind of feelings that have been in hibernation for years as his fingertips linger delicately against the soft flesh of your cheek a moment more. He wishes he could kick himself for not trying to get closer to you sooner, if only to have you here lying next to him as if it has always been this way.  

Those copper eyes drift to the plain black and white standard government issue clock tacked to the wall. It’s nearly five in the morning; still too early to be conscious just yet, but once he’s up there’s no going back down. He takes a few more minutes to silently appreciate your sleeping form by capturing the image of you like a polaroid in his mind and then decides to just let you sleep until the last minute before he wakes you up to send you safely on your way.

Who said you needed to rush off anyway? 

As carefully as all 6’4” of him can, he eases his way out of the bed and creeps bare-arsed to the en suite bathroom so that he can grab a quick shower, though he’d like nothing more than to keep the scent of you on him a little longer. It won’t do him any favors to go around base today with the fragrance of sex covering him like a beacon to draw people’s unwanted attention.

Cautiously he eases the bathroom door to where it is slightly ajar, not risking shutting it since he knows how bad the damned thing squeaks, and only then does he flick on the fluorescent lights to illuminate the space. Blinking to adjust his eyes to the harsh brilliance, he opens them and immediately catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror that faces the door.   

Even though he still carries the signs of sleep in his distinct features, he can already tell that he is different somehow and he walks closer to his reflection to get a better look. Everything is exactly where it should be, but his eyes seem brighter, more full of life… as if he is happier than he has been in recent memory. He stares back into them as if he is looking at a different person, a reunion with an old friend he hasn’t seen in a long time.  

And he doesn’t know what to think. It is a gift from you, after all…though you don’t even know you’ve given it to him yet.

Simon shakes his head and chuckles to himself, not fully ready to accept this drastic change to his appearance just yet, as he pulls from the mirror and walks the few steps to the shower to get it going. The pipes running to the showerhead squeak to life as run for a few seconds when without warning he feels a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind as a warm, naked chest presses into his back. It momentarily takes him by surprise as he is still getting used to having someone around, but he eventually settles into your embrace. 

“Was tryin’ not to wake ya yet,” he mutters as he runs his hand over yours that is against his stomach.

“Heard the shower kick on,” you murmur sleepily into his shoulder as you place your lips to the smooth skin near his shoulder blade, “thought I could do with getting clean myself, so I wanted to join you.”

It isn’t a total lie, you do need to wash up after the mess from the night before, though you wish you could be honest and say that you just wanted to be close while you still can. You know you are going to have to leave soon if you want to make it back to your quarters without detection, but it doesn’t stop the feeling of disappointment that looms like a gray cloud at the back of your mind that you will have to part ways. 

Simon holds your palms pressed rigid and flat against his abdominals so you can’t let go as he leans in to check the temperature of the water with his free hand. The heated liquid rains down onto his palm perfectly warm, but not too hot, and being satisfied he pulls you both inside the cozy oasis. 

He moves you in front of him so that your back is directly under the shower head, letting the heated water run through the length of your hair and down the curves of your bare back to keep you warm. It feels like you’re still in a dream the way the steam rises around your bodies in the tight space, the condensation clinging to your skin like a warm blanket. Maybe you are still asleep in his bed, you feel barely awake as it is, and if that’s the case you hope you don’t wake up cause you don’t want to leave the fantasy just yet. 

The soothing water lulls you into a drowsy calm as Simon holds you close against him while he naturally rocks you both back and forth with slow, easy movements as he gently tries to help you wake up. He cannot help admiring the flush in your face brought on by the heat or the way the droplets trickle over your soft, delicate skin. Reaching out, his hand connects with your cheek as he strokes his coarse thumb over your jaw and up to the corner of your mouth before dragging it heavily over your bottom lip until he has them parted. 

“I swear you’re a fuckin’ dream, pretty girl,” he whispers as his hand on your face brings it in towards his so that he can gently connects your lips. 

Memories of confessions from the night before spring back to the surface, admissions of possession that he doesn’t want to take back even though that mind-numbing haze from being inside you is gone. You can hear him sigh heavily as he breaks the kiss to rest his forehead against yours.

If only he could wake up like this every day. Could that even be a possibility for someone like him? Inside the steam-filled oasis that cloaks you both from reality, he allows himself to fantasize just a little. Maybe…maybe…

Simon lets you go only to grab the soap from its place sitting on the edge of the tub, ready to clean up the mess he made. Taking care of someone other than himself is an oddly comforting sensation to him and even though you try to protest that he doesn’t have to, he still takes the time to wash you down anyway before tending to himself. 

He leaves you inside the shower to finish up as he steps out into the bathroom, wrapping a towel securely around his hips, making sure to leave a towel for you as well before he heads to the mirror. His rigorous actions between your legs last night left a rather rough patch against your thigh that he caught sight of in the shower and checking his face in the foggy bit of glass above the sink, Simon decides it’s about time to shave.

…cause he is definitely going to get between those legs again soon. 

A bag of random toiletries lies at the edge of the sink and he rummages around in it until he locates his razor. He steps up to the counter and turns on the sink just as the creak from the shower handle rings out and the water is shut off. From the mirror he can see you step out and wrap the towel he’s set out for you around your chest. 

You ring out your hair behind you before you move to his side and turn to rest your butt against the edge of the countertop. Looking down, you spy the shaving instrument in his hand.

“Gettin’ rid of it?” you ask with a hint of disappointment as you reach up and run your fingertips over his jaw. The steam from the shower has already softened the hairs so they don’t prickle roughly against your touch as you outline his face.

Suddenly he can’t find his voice; every single time you touch him it’s like the first time all over again and it makes his head spin. Clearing his throat he looks down at you. “It’s a bit too rough, innit?” he says, tapping at your thigh with the abrasion on it. “Don’t wanna hurt ya again.”

Why did it sound more deep a sentiment than it should have been? A lump wells in your throat as you realize he is doing this for you and you alone; it’s just a shave, but to have him care about your wellbeing is very special to you. Especially after the confessions from the night before; clearly he has meant it: you belong to him now.

“Well, if you must…but, I wonder. Can I?” you ask with a smile as you reach for the blade in his hand.

Simon pauses before giving it up to you. This is a new one for him and he is a little unsure, but curious enough to see where it leads. You move your body between him and the counter so that you can hop up and sit yourself in front of him. Opening your legs, you pull him in close.

“You trust me, don’t you?” you ask barely above a whisper as you situate him in the middle of your legs. 

More than anyone, he thinks to himself as he silently stares back into your eyes. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t have to, he just drops his hands by his sides and tilts his jaw up.

Your ankles link behind the small of his back as your hand grasps his chin to keep his head steady so you can place the razorblade to his cheek. The sharp edge of the blade pushes into his skin and is dragged slowly down the line of his face until it reaches your hand where you pick it up to move on to the next section. It’s like an intimate dance, the risk of it all as the blade continues to pass over his skin, but you skill keeping him safe from cuts, making his heart race so you can feel his pulse under your fingertips.

“Just hold still,” you say as you feel the sensation of his hands moving up your bare thighs, running up towards your hips that have peeked out through the slit in the towel. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ya won’t,” he says in that gruff tone without hesitation and you can feel the warmth rise in your face. 

There is steam still lingering in the air from the shower; it is fogging the mirror and adds a filmy haze to the atmosphere. The aroma of his soap is strong between your bodies, both of you coated in his usual plain, clean scent. It’s nice just being here like this with him. 

Another pass of the blade and more of that thick stubble comes right off under your careful hand. You move the blade over to the sink to rinse it again and that’s when you feel it, a stabbing against your thigh from within the confines of his towel. His damp, hair-covered chest rubs against your forearms as he moves in even tighter to you.

“Like the way ya look, all serious like when you’re workin’ hard at somethin’,” he says in a breathy whisper as you finish another swipe of the razorblade across his jaw. “Didn’t know how good you’d be with a sharp object in your hand.”

“Well, if you keep moving I might not be so precise. I’m almost done,” you scold him, but Simon isn’t deterred just because you have something sharp in your hand. He has something just as deadly prodding into you too.

His strong fingertips jab themselves into your hips, stabbing into the meat hard through the towel as he presses himself into you and suddenly it feels like you can’t quite catch your breath. He hums deep in his chest, a low, guttural sound that makes your clit throb as those long fingers of his twirl the loose, wet strands of your hair between them.

“I’ll give ya ‘bout another minute to get it done,” he says as his gaze lingers longingly on your mouth. “That’s all I can wait.” 

Suddenly the room isn’t the only thing that is obscured in a haze; your mind is misfiring terribly now as you hurry to finish the job while also being sure you don’t miss any spots. You rinse the blade for the last time and quickly check him over, flashing him a satisfied smile at your handiwork. 

“I thought we just got clean for the day?” you ask as he takes the blade from your hand and sets it on the countertop beside you.  

He doesn’t answer the question with words, instead letting his mouth do something else to convey his thoughts. His kiss is softer now with the missing stubble, though just as passionate as it always is and it takes your breath away. 

“I like the way you kiss me,” you murmur against his lips. 

“Good, cause I don’t plan on stoppin’ anytime soon, sweetheart,” he groans as his fingers reach up to your chest to find the edge of the towel; with one small tug he has it undone. It drops down around the sink as he leans in more aggressively to capture your mouth.  

There’s still enough time for another shower, right? Fuck, at this point he’ll make time.

Dawn is just beginning to break its first soft light over the base as you step out of the shower for the second time and hurriedly get dressed. Simon meets you at the door with a knot in the pit of his stomach; time’s up whether he is ready or not and if you want to make it back undetected it has to be now.

“Got plans later tonight?” he asks as he pulls you to him one last time.

You look up into his face and shake your head. “Not that I know of. Gonna be a light day today. Why?”

Simon pins you against him with his arm around your waist as he tilts his head down to kiss your lips. “Just thinkin’ ya might want ta be in later,” he says, giving one last peck before he opens the door and you immediately take off in the direction of your personal quarters.

He keeps his eyes on you till you’re out of sight, trying to wipe away the slight upturning of the corners of his mouth. “Don’t get ahead of yourself,” he grumbles under his breath as he shuts the door.

The rest of the day is spent in a blur, punctuated by the few times you just happened to catch a glimpse of Simon through the days as you go about. Your mind constantly wanders back to what he meant by you might want to stay in later, so when Soap asks if you’re gonna come hang in the rec with them for a bit of Saturday fun, you decline and stay put in your room instead.   

It’s a little after 9 o’clock when there is a heavy knock on your door, loud raps that echo through the room and make you put away the book you are failing to distract yourself with under your bed. You hop off the mattress, your heart fluttering in your chest. Making it to the door and pulling it open you immediately come face to face with the person leaning against your door frame: Simon. 

“Ya gonna let me in, luv?” he asks. “Or ya just gonna fuckin’ leave me out ‘ere all night?”

You cross your arms and furrow your brow as if you are agitated, but it doesn’t last more than a few seconds before you are breaking character. “Couldn’t stay away for one night, could you?” you pick back.

There is a visible smirk beneath the thin fabric of his lightweight balaclava. “ ‘S part a my routine,” he says as you grab his hand and drag him inside. “Too used to it now.” 

“Well far be it from me to stop you,” you say with a smile as you shut the door and bolt it behind you both while Simon quickly rips off the mask and pulls you into a kiss. 

“Knew you’d cave,” he breathes against your mouth.

“Maybe I like you around,” you say back.

Maybe I like bein’ around, he thinks as he kisses you back harder as you lead him over to your bed. 

Sunday evening is spent in the same vein except with you both switching off again so that you are the one to come over to his to spend your evening together. Cause he is right, this arrangement has become routine now and your day just doesn’t feel complete without seeing him. Unfortunately though, it being Sunday you both decide to call it earlier as your duties will call you to work early in the morning.

One lingering goodbye later and Simon is once again watching you walk away, secretly making a wish that maybe you’ll get the chance soon to spend more time together when something breaks him out of his thoughts. As he shuts the door behind you, suddenly he can hear a distinct buzzing coming from somewhere near his bed. He knows that sound; it’s his cellphone. It’s late and he never gets a call at this time, so quickly he grabs it up off the nightstand near the bed and as soon as he is able to get a look at the screen, his heart sinks into the floor: Price is the one that is calling. 

He picks it up. “Yes, sir,” he answers in his usual stern tone.

There is a pause over the line before the captain speaks. “Lieutenant,” Price says, “I apologize for calling, I know it’s late, but I need to see you in my office tomorrow morning. 0800 hours. There are some things we urgently need to discuss.”

This strikes Simon as odd; never has the captain called him this late to inform him of a meeting the next day, so why would he be doing it now? Something feels off about it all and though he has no information other than that his presence is needed, there is something in Price’s tone that has his blood running cold. 

“What’s this about, sir?” Simon asks, keeping his voice metered as his heart begins to race. 

Price sighs. “I would rather wait till the mornin’ to talk further as this is something that needs to be discussed in person.”

“Yes, sir,” Simon agrees.  

“That is all lieutenant, enjoy the rest of your evening,” the captain says in a rush and with that the line goes dead, leaving Simon confused and slightly worried.

Time seems to drag on endlessly as anxiety keeps him up the entire night tossing and turning as he stares into the ceiling. He thinks about texting you just to see if you’re up, but he talks himself out of it. His needless worries shouldn’t bother you, even though he knows you’d answer him in a heartbeat. No, he just needs to get through the night and then in the morning everything will be settled; it’s going to be fine.

An hour before he is supposed to meet the captain and Simon is already up and dressed; his office is less than a ten minute walk from Simon’s, but he wants to be early. It’s better to just get this over with so he can enjoy the rest of his day and make plans to see you later. With twenty minutes still to go he heads out and makes his way across the base. 

With a knock on the door, he waits until Price looks up before entering the office. 

“Early as usual,” the captain greets him.

“Better than late,” he says, before nodding back behind him. “Ya want me to shut the door?” 

“Not yet,” Price says and Simon leaves the doorway to take his seat in one of the chairs facing the large, wooden desk.

He’s sitting for just a few minutes before Price’s eyes dart up to the door and he can feel the shadow of another person standing there. “Ah, yes, come in and shut the door. Now that you are both here, we can get started,” he hears the captain say as he turns his head to see who it is that has arrived; he had been under the impression that this was a solo meeting this whole time.

Suddenly his heart stops as the person comes into his line of sight. It’s you, the blood draining from your face as you see him sitting there. It’s clear you have been caught off-guard by this as much as he has. The atmosphere becomes tense and strained as you take a seat next to Simon. Captain Price sits tall with authority as he stares back at the pair of you, a grave look in his gaze. 

“Do you know why I’ve called you in here?” Price asks, looking first at you, then the lieutenant.

Neither of you feel keen enough to say anything, but you finally speak up first, if only to break the anxiety bubbling under your moderately calm surface. “No, sir.”

Price takes a hesitant breath. “I have been informed over the weekend about you both engaging in acts of misconduct,” he says firmly. “You’ve been seen cavorting with one another on several occasions. Now, there are things that can be overlooked and if it were up to me I woulda simply turned a blind eye and pretended to know anything, but it has been brought to light that these ‘activities’ were done while out in the field on your latest mission. Is this true?” 

The hair on Simon’s arms is standing on end and he feels like he is about to be sick, the bile violently churning in his stomach as his worst fear is realized. Instantly he feels guilty and begins to blame himself; this is all his fault. After all, he was the one to break protocol back at the safehouse. His careless actions have caught up to you both and now you will have to face the consequences.

Price turns his attention to you as there is no hiding the guilt on your face like Simon can behind his mask and though neither of you have spoken yet to confirm, there is no need. Your body language mixed with his lieutenant’s silence alone tells him that the accusations that were made are indeed true.  

“You both understand that this is out of my hands,” Price emphasizes the point. “If this reaches anywhere outside this base my authority will be brought into question and this operation cannot afford that. Not to mention that I risk the possibility of losing either one or both of you if things escalate. What the hell were you thinkin’, doin’ that while deployed?”

The lieutenant doesn’t have an answer, at least not one that will make this all go away. The problem is that he wasn’t thinking; all he knew was that for the first time in a long while he wanted something so bad that the consequences didn’t matter in that moment. Now he has to pay for them and unfortunately that means you do as well…and that is what is breaking his heart. 

He has dragged you into hell with him.

“You both have crossed a line that I can’t pull you back from,” Price continues with a defeated exhale. In all honesty, he wants nothing more than to let this go, but there are too many variables at stake. “The one who reported this is threatening to take this up the ladder as far as they need if I do nothing. My hands are tied on the matter.”

“Sir, if you’ll let me explain, perhaps we can come to an agreement…” you try to reason with your captain, but that is not how this will go.

Price can hear the tremble in your voice and he knows he’s struck a chord. The look he gives you is one full of remorse. “But in the end we’re all adults here and that means ya have a say in what happens to yourselves. If you want to request a transfer or, hell, apply for a discharge, I can’t stop you; that is a decision you have a right to make.”

The wind feels like it has been knocked from Simon’s lungs and though he can see Price talking, his mind will not allow him to fully comprehend what is being said. 

Amidst the stunned hush that has fallen over the room, Price slowly pushes his chair out from the desk and makes his way to stand. “I know I’ve sprung this on you both without so much as a warning, so I’ll give you some time alone to make your decisions. Otherwise, I will have to make them for you and that is something I want to avoid.”

With that he steps out of the office, closing the door behind him, and thrusting you both into an uncomfortably tense stillness. It lingers for far too long as Simon battles internally with what to do, struggling to accept that his happiness has imploded as it always does, but one thing he keeps coming back to is the fact that no matter what, you will be forced to separate if one or both of you decide to stay in this line of work.  

The taskforce means everything to you just as it does him and this is so much bigger than simply exploring the depths of a crush. This is your entire life, all the blood, sweat, and effort you’ve both put in to be here; it’s all you’ve worked so hard for. It is all you both have ever known. 

Can you really give that all up? It’s too soon to be having this type of life-altering conversation.

Out of the turmoil in his mind, he hears you calling his name. “Simon? Hey,” you call out to him again to get his attention; it feels like he is a million miles away even though he is still sitting right beside you. 

He can’t bear to look you in the face and keeps his eyes locked on his shoes; his gaze is so avoidant that it is painful, especially after how close you both have become. Still, you try your hardest to lighten the mood even through the ache making your chest tight. 

“Not the best way to start the morning,” you chuckle uncomfortably. 

More silence follows, more agony. He’s going to have to say something at some point and when he does it’s all going to come crashing down. As long as he is quiet he can suspend the moment for as long as possible. 

“Listen,” you say, “I know this sounds bad, but we can figure it out. I mean, I don’t have a problem with requesting the transfer if I have to.”

That’s the last thing he wants; you can’t leave. If you leave it will kill him. “Sweetheart… don’t…” Simon speaks up for the first time since you entered the office and it sounds like he’s being tortured. 

“Would a transfer really be so bad? Who knows? It could just be for a short while until everything cools off,” you remark, still hopeful, but he simply shakes his head.

Simon pauses. “No, ya can’t do that,” he says and you can feel a lump forming in the base of your throat that makes you almost gag.

“Isn’t it my decision? Don’t I get a say in what I do?” you push.

Another drawn out pause. “Ya don’t wanna do that, I know ya don’t.”

“Don’t speak for me,” you say harshly as you know where this is headed and you can’t stand even the thought of it. “I can choose to do what I want.”

“I can’t let ya do that,” he denies you again, his words firm. “I can’t let ya fuckin’ give up everythin’ for me, no matter how much I may want it. Ya forget I read your personnel file when ya arrived, I know ya worked your ass off ta get ‘ere. You made it all the way ta sergeant by the sweat of your brow. Don’t fuckin’ throw it all away jus’ for somethin’ so new.”

More pauses. Why is there so much silence present now? It hurts to have all that quiet be filled with sadness where it was only comfort before. 

“So, this is it then?” Your heart is shattering into pieces, you can physically feel it crumble as you suffocate on the sadness. When did this get so god damn complicated?

Simon bites the inside of his cheek until he can taste copper. “I don’t know what else ta fuckin’ do…” he says quietly. “This is all so sudden, I don’t ‘ave a plan. I just know ya can’t leave and I need more time.”

He’s not as quick to act on this as you are and you can’t fault him for that. In all honesty he isn’t wrong; this is all happening so fast that it’s overwhelming and nothing really feels like the right decision. So, even though it pains you to concede to his argument, you do and the heartbreak wins. Yet you cling on to the hope that maybe there is a way out of this. He did not say outright that he is completely done, only that he needs time to think. 

You can give him time, right?

“Please, Simon, just look at me.”

Those brown eyes drift up to meet yours and the agony of this whole fucked up situation is written in his gaze. This is supposed to be something wonderful, not something that has casualties, and he is being ripped apart by duty and what he wants most. He wants to scream, beat his fists, break anything, but it won’t do any good; he is like a man cursed…somehow this was always going to happen.

“ ’m sorry,” he says and a heavy bit of silence follows as you sit there just looking at one another. 

Overcome with emotion, you swallow hard. “I know,” you retort as you reach out to take his hand in yours. “I know.”

Simon slides his long fingers in between the spaces in yours and holds on so tight to your hand it’s almost painful. Irrationally he thinks that maybe if he squeezes hard enough not even fate can take you from him, but that isn’t the case. There is no stopping what has to happen and though you both can prolong the moment, you can’t stop time. 

Releasing his grasp, he lets you go and all at once you feel like you’re drowning. He leaves your side only for a moment to reopen the door as a sign that a decision has been made. Several more excruciating minutes pass, but eventually Price reenters the office and again takes his seat. There is a gloom that sits in the room now like a fog and he knows without even having to ask that a decision has been reached and it is one that clearly was not reached happily.

“It’s over, sir,” Lt. Riley confirms with the short response; any more than that and he may fall apart.

Price nods in acknowledgement. “In that case, I think it best to send ya both out on separate missions very soon. It’ll show that action has been taken in case anything else comes from the allegations. I appreciate your cooperation in this matter; I know it could not have been easy.”

You nod back firmly in agreement and Lt. Riley does the same. 

Price quickly dismisses you both and you immediately bolt up from your seat to make it to the door in a flurry of quick steps, too overwhelmed by your emotions to sit still another second more beside the one thing you can no longer have. You can’t seem to catch your breath and even though you make it outside of the stifling atmosphere inside the office, it does not lessen. 

Your feet carry you forward to where you have no clue; there is no rational thought left with you right now. All you know is that you need to put distance between everything and everyone that you can before you shatter because it hurts like you are being torn in half from the inside and if you are going to rupture you want to do it where no one can see.

But grief is a volatile and disastrous thing; it consumes and destroys and confuses. Right now, your mind is scrambling to feel something other than the pain of your loss, any other emotion it can experience that won’t murder it and it settles on the emotion that is the opposite side of grief: anger.

Halfway across the site you spot that familiar mohawked head near the mess hall and a rage builds in you. You and Simon had speculated before about Johnny’s knowledge of your situation, what if he was the one that told Price? Intentional or not, what if he is the reason all this is destroyed? There is not a shred of proof, but your brain is desperate to find someone to blame, anyone to throw all your anger on and that just happens to be him. Before you can stop yourself, you are already bounding his way. 

Johny looks up as you come within earshot, turning his back to the building. “Hey, stranger, ‘aven’t seen ye ‘round much this weekend. Wonder why that is?” he says with a knowing smirk, but it drops from his face as he sees the look on yours. 

Without warning you grab Johnny by the collar and manhandle him until you are able to haul him forward and slam into the wall behind him, knocking the wind from his lungs as you crush him up against the concrete. “Was it you?” you spat the question with fury into his face. “Tell me now or so help me God…”

“What the fuckin’ hell are ye talkin’ ‘bout?” he asks back as he struggles under your tight grip around his collar. “Have ye lost yer mind?”

Blinded by rage, you pull him back only to shove him harder into the wall. “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” you say, the venom in your voice full of acid. “Were you the one that ran like a bitch to tattle on me to Price? You better have a fucking good reason why.”

Johnny pauses and stops struggling against your grip, confused. “Wait, what?” he asks. “Someone’s gone te Price ‘bout somethin’? Ye gotta explain everythin’ cause I don’t get it; seriously, what’s this about?”

The tone of his voice causes you to really discern the look in his eyes: he is genuinely confused by your statement. “You really don’t know what I’m talking about?” you question.

He shakes his head. “No and I’m bein’ serious.”

In the time you’ve known him, Johnny has always been straight with you and you do genuinely trust him to tell you the truth. He may be a pain in your ass sometimes, but honesty is always something that you have shared. If he says he doesn’t know, he must really not know.

“Tell me, what’s happened?” he asks, his brows drawn together as he stares back at you with serious concern. 

You choke back the emotion gathered in your throat as your eyes sting. No sense in hiding anything; he’d probably find out eventually anyway if gossip gets around. Besides, keeping this inside makes you feel like you’re rotting. “Price knows about what me and the lieutenant have been doing in secret and what we did while we were on our last mission,” you admit as you hang your head. 

Johnny is silent for a moment. “I fuckin’ knew it,” he says with a chuckle, which he immediately regrets as you pop your head up to give him a heated glare. “No, I… look, jus’ listen ta me for a moment.”

Releasing him from your grasp you take a step back, the anger subsiding to be replaced by an overwhelming sense of dread. Tears burn around the rims of your eyes at how lost you feel and how easily you are flying off the handle; it makes you worried. How are you meant to control this? How are you meant to survive?

Johnny straightens himself up and continues. “Yes, I knew ‘bout ye and the lieutenant…cause I was the one that orchestrated the whole setup. I seen tha way ye two kept eyein’ each other an’ I decided that ye both needed a push in tha right direction. Why the hell would I get ye together only ta get ye in trouble with Price?” 

You divert your gaze again. “Well, it’s all over now,” you can barely say aloud; just hearing yourself speak it into existence feels like being stabbed in the chest. “Whoever ratted us out is threatening to go above Price’s head if they need to. There’s nothing left for us to do, but end it or shit’s gonna get worse. It’s already done.”

Fuck, you can’t hold back for much longer and the last thing you need is to cry, but a pair of strong hands clasp around your shoulders to bring you back from the brink of your sadness. 

“Look,” Johnny tries to reassure as he is genuinely worried about your wellbeing. “I’ll figure out who it was that stuck their bloody nose in it, alright? Jus’ leave it ta me; I’ll get ye a name and hell, I’ll help ye gut the bastard if ye need. We’ll figure it out, honest.”

Somehow you don’t think anything will come of it, but at least it is something. Right now hope is a drug you have to take just to get through.

Days pass the same way with little variation in your mood. You try to stay as busy as you possibly can, filling your schedule to the brim with as much work as Price can give you. He doesn’t mention it, but everything he assigns you seems to keep you from even crossing paths with your former lover and for that you are grateful. Then a few days become a week and a week becomes two, but time does nothing to stop the ache in your chest and at the end of each day, when you return to your room and the quiet hits you, it’s impossible not to shed a few tears into your pillow as you pine for the company you once had. 

Thankfully mission assignments finally go out and you can spend your time consumed in preparation to depart to fill the void that settles in your chest. It’s a couple of days before you are meant to leave and information makes its way through the grapevine that Lt. Riley is headed out tonight with his team and god if it doesn’t kill you not even to get the chance to say goodbye.

You can’t even finish your lunch today; you are so upset by the news that you quickly toss your food into the trash and head out. You’re so wrapped in your thoughts you don’t even hear Johnny calling to you until he has caught up to you outside of the mess hall and is grabbing your elbow to drag you alongside him. Where are you going? You have no clue.   

“What are you doing?” you ask with annoyance, not up for whatever bullshit he’s trying to pull today. 

“Jus’ keep walkin’,” he says, his head constantly on a swivel as if he is looking for something. You try to protest, but it gets you nowhere as he keeps booking it across the base with you in hand until you both reach the munitions depot where he finally comes to a stop and lets you go. 

You look up at the building. “Why are we here?”

“Keep yer head and jus’ go inside,” Johnny says as he gives you a shove towards the door. “Ye only got a couple minutes, so ‘urry the hell up.”

You stare at him with a raised eyebrow. What the hell is he talking about? You really aren’t in the mood for his shit, but you also don’t have the energy in you to fight him on it; you let out a weighted huff and grab the handle, pulling it hard so that the door swings open and you head inside. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to be looking for?” you question yourself.

There is movement and you hear the sound of boot steps. “That would be me,” a gravelly voice sounds at your side, making you jump.  

You are thrown into respiratory distress as you turn around where you’re greeted with that familiar mask and its wearer is just standing within reach. “Simon,” you breathe his name like a prayer, forgetting decorum.

“Wrangled Mactavish inta helpin’ me, said he’d bring ya and guard the door,” Lt. Riley says as he stands there, unsure of what to do with his hands. “I-” he sighs, “I had ta see ya ‘fore I leave.” 

Suddenly the room is spinning and you can’t figure out which way is up. After the agonizing chasm of space that has been put between you it is disorienting to be this close again and you aren’t sure what to do. Do you run into his arms? Do you keep your distance?

It doesn’t make sense.

“I know I shouldn’t have brought ya ‘ere like this,” he says, “but I…missed ya.” He pauses and sighs as he pinches the bridge of his nose through the mask. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m doin’. I’m supposed ta follow orders no questions asked, but…” 

Standing there, waiting on bated breath, you stare back at him with those big doe eyes until you are able to speak and break the silence. “But what?”

More silence follows your question as he steps closer and closer and closer. Then he stops and there are only inches between your bodies. He reaches out his hand and the backs of his gloved fingers brush against your own with a touch so delicate it doesn’t seem humanly possible, most of all from someone like the lieutenant. 

“Priorities are changin’,” he admits as he takes your hand into his grasp hesitantly, eyes unable to look anywhere but at the connection as if he isn’t sure if he should touch you at all. “I never experienced somethin’ like this before. I don’t know what the fuck to do.” 

“Are you saying you want to go against Price?” 

His sight lingers on your conjoined hands as his jaw shifts under the mask, struggling to find the words. As he clears his throat, his gaze finally draws back to your face to meet your eyes. He doesn’t have to say anything, you can read the sentiment in his gaze: he is being tortured by being forced to choose between his duty to this task force and what he wants above all else. 

“Listen, yeah? As long as we follow orders, we get ta stay near each other. Fight it and who knows what the fuck’ll happen. I…” he pauses, the pain of confession hard to stand, “I don’t know if I can risk not bein’ able to see ya at all, sweetheart. Even just a glimpse cross the way.”

“You think that is better than one of us leaving?” you want to ask, but the question dies on your tongue and in its place is only a bitter taste in your mouth. 

You know if you say anything at all it’s only going to make it harder- for the both of you. You are just two soldiers bound by a need to do what is right and nothing is going to change that. Fuck do you want to scream, to rage at what you are being strong-armed into doing against your will, yet your exterior stays a calm mask against the storm inside. The situation puts you between a rock and a hard place and though you don’t want to admit it he is ultimately right; if all you get is to have nothing or what you had before all this mess started, then you would choose the latter.

At least you can still be around one another; at least you can still see him. Even if every time you do it is going to shatter your heart all over again.

Lt. Riley feels like he is being ripped apart as he catches the agonizing pain in your eyes. “I need ya ta know, if circumstances were different…” 

You stop him before he can say more by gently placing your hand against his covered lips; you cannot bear to hear anything else about ‘what ifs’ and ‘maybes’. It’s too painful right now to dream. Accepting reality is the only thing that is going to help you survive now. The lieutenant’s eyes drop to the floor as he comes to terms with the fact that some things are better left unsaid. 

Removing your hand from the fabric of his mask, you can feel that recognizable mass welling in your throat and you know you are going to have to leave soon or risk him seeing you cry. That is an image you don’t want to leave him with, not if this is what he has to see before he goes.

“I’m glad I got to see you before you leave,” you say while forcing your best smile for him. “It was hard thinking you’d leave and I wouldn’t get to say goodbye at least.”

He nods as he cups your cheek. “Ya be safe, yeah?” 

You lean into his touch and close your eyes; god, it’s hard not to enjoy his touch. “You too.” 

Time is slipping away fast like sand through a sieve and he knows that you only have a few short minutes left that you will go unnoticed so he blurts out the question that sits on the tip of his tongue and he can’t stop it from coming out. “One last kiss?” he asks, though he hates himself for doing so.

A ragged breath is pushed out of your lungs as your eyes flutter open. The question is surprising, but you already know the answer; you can’t say no because to deny him would mean denying yourself and your heart won’t let you. His hands paw at your face as his eyes beg. 

Your heartbeats mesh together as you press your body against his until they become one rhythm. He keeps his hands locked to your face as you reach up and slip the bottom of his mask up over his lips and rest it on top of his nose. It feels like you are holding your breath and time stops as you again capture his unwavering stare.   

“Make it count,” you breathe.

You can feel the shudder from his desperate inhale as he collapses into you like the burst from a dying star, crashing his fiery kiss onto your mouth with an intensity that makes your knees buckle, but he has you. His arms keep you up as he aggressively steals your lips over and over again, pinning his mouth on yours until it burns, stealing your breath, tasting your kiss, letting that gnawing ache that had been festering in his heart eat him alive.   

His intensity is matched with your own as you kiss him back with everything that you have. You need the feeling of his lips to be imprinted on yours for as long as they can and you push so hard he cannot catch air. But just as quickly as it started, it has to end.

“Eh, ye need ta ‘urry guys,” the sound of Soaps voice calls from the door, forcefully thrusting you both back into reality. Lt. Riley grips around your biceps and pries himself from you with everything he has and with that he bounds away as you fall to your knees and enfold your arms around yourself like a hug, the tears streaming down your cheeks in heavy, engorged droplets. 

He is gone.

The time away does nothing to ease the pain of your separation. Being off base makes your absence in his life even more prominent. You are in his head constantly after that last kiss, haunting him like a ghost that he cannot get rid of and though he knows he should, part of him won’t let go; he can’t. No, that’s not entirely it. Even if he could let go, he won’t.

The lieutenant’s days spent on assignment pass by agonizingly slow and he begins to realize that as much as he enjoys what he does, that it is no longer holding the same importance in his heart as it once did. That feeling has been replaced by something else and that is the way he felt with you. He had thrown everything outside of work to the wayside because never believed that he would get a chance at bits of normalcy in his life. Until you…

What if he is throwing away something that could fulfill him more than his work with the 141? Could he live with that? Whenever he finds himself with a free moment, he spends them silently contemplating that question, mulling it over incessantly in his mind even though he keeps returning to the same conclusion: he can’t live with it. 

He would rather regret leaving all this behind if it meant he could be with you than to regret letting you slip through his fingers. And he desperately wants to tell you that he finally knows what to do.

The thought eats at him until one night, as he lays awake staring at the pitch black ceiling, he can no longer take it and without thinking he is digging through his pack to grab his cell phone and just like that the small, square device is in his hand and he is turning it on. As the light pierces through the darkness, missed call after missed call pops up on the screen all from… Mactavish?  

It’s only been off for a few hours. What the fuck is going on?

Lt. Riley hurriedly moves himself into a quiet corner away from the others sleeping and quickly redials the number. The repetitive ringing continues until they instantaneously stop and the young sergeant answers with an urgency in his tone that makes the lieutenant’s heartbeat pound in his ears.

“LT, fuck, been tryin’ te get a hold a ye fer a while now,” Soap says over the receiver. “Don’t ye ever answer yer god damn phone?”

The lieutenant tries to speak quietly so that he won’t draw any prying ears into eavesdropping on this conversation. “What the hell sergeant? Ya think I just have all the fuckin’ time to chitchat?”

Soap ignores the lieutenant’s agitation; this is more important and he is risking a lot by even having this conversation at all, so it’s gotta be quick. “ ‘Ave ye spoken te Price? Laswell? Anyone back ‘ere?” he asks as if insisting on a swift answer.

“No,” Lt. Riley confirms. “Haven’t had a need. Why?”

“Fuck, so no one’s said anythin’ te ye yet?” Soap questions as if the fact is distressing him.

“ ‘Bout what? Today, Mactavish,” Lt. Riley says with a hint of unchecked panic in his voice. Nothing about how Mactavish sounds is making the lieutenant feel any better, not the way whatever it is has him flustered like this. 

“We ‘ave a situation,” he says firmly and what comes out of his mouth next makes the usually calm and collected lieutenant nearly drop his phone as his entire body goes numb. “The sergeant and her team deployed right after ye, as ye know… all was fine until a few days ago.”

Simon can’t breathe as Soap finishes his sentence. “...we’ve lost contact…they’re all currently MIA.”

Tag list: @flameohotpotatooo @shadowtfpcod @xnyx1n @igotmajordaddyissues @essentialbeats-blog @mishaglass

[starboye]

starring: lip gallagher x male reader

request: Lip Gallagher and S/N Milkovich Mickey's twin brother (they are not identical), Lip never liked boys until Mickey's brother came back to town, something cute, where they start off sharing a cigar.

warnings: fluff, kissing, smoking, mentions of weed

lip had never ever liked guys, that was his brother ians thing, lip had always been known to fuck bitches, be a smart kid, and you'd occasionally see him around drinking but there was something different about you, y/n milkovich who he just couldn't get out of his mind since the first day he saw you.

"hey who's that with mickey" lip asks ian taking a swig of his beer as he watched you with mickey "y/n, mickeys twin brother" ian answered taking a puff of his cigarette "i didn't know mickey had a brother" lip says "me too but mickey says he's been living with a distant relative for some time and just came back to town" ian says before flicking the cigarette aside and walking into the gallagher house.

lip admired you for a while before following ian into the house, as he slept that night he couldn't get you off his mind, your cute face and beautiful features rolling around in his mind as he layed there, he soon fell asleep but woke up later to the sounds of ian and mickey bickering about something.

he walked down stairs to see both of them arguing and turned to see you leaned against the door frame, you gave him a little wave and rolled your eyes at mickey fighting with ian, lips breath hitched in his throat the moment he saw you, and he looked horrible, hair still a mess for sleeping and in his underwear making you snicker a little.

he ran back upstairs and fixed himself up a little before coming back down stairs and getting something to drink "are they always like this" you ask lip and he nods "it's kind of a normal thing around here" lip nervously chuckles, you take notice to this and get an idea.

"wanna get outta here" you ask pulling out some weed and a lighter from your pocket and showing lip "yeah sure" lip says and you lead the way onto the front porch and sit on the steps, lip sitting down next to you, you could still vaguely hear ian and mickey arguing.

"so you're mickeys twin brother right" lip asks still awkward "id rather just say brother, i don't wanna be known as the twin to that dick head of a man" you laugh rolling up the weed and licking the paper, lip watches the way your tongue laps at the piece of paper.

"how about you" you ask glaring over to lip "huh" lip questions breaking out of his trance on your mouth "i mean your ians brother right" you chuckle "uh yeah" lip stammer "are you okay dude" you ask lighting the weed and inhaling the smoke.

"yeah just thinking" lip lies "well then just stop thinking and do it" you say handing the weed to him and puffing out your smoke "yeah i guess i should" lip says inhaling the weed to gain the courage to make his move, he blows out the smoke and turns to you "hey y/n-" he begins to say but it cut off by the feeling of your lips touching his.

he melts into the kiss and brings his hand to caress your cheek before sliding both his hands down to hold your hips, keeping the cigarette in between his fingers as you both pull from the kiss, his lips still chasing after yours for more contact he was desperate for.

"since you were being to much of a pussy to do it yourself" you laugh and grab the weed from him and smoke it, lip still shocked by the kiss, he actually enjoyed it and he didn't expect that "you guys are so gay for that" you hear mickey say and he takes the weed from you "whatever, fuck you" you chuckle, lip hiding his face behind his hands.

"well look at us now the homo squad" ian jokes nudging lip on the shoulder "that doesn't mean i'm going on double dates with you guys" you say getting up from the steps "oh absolutely fucking not" mickey agrees before you snatch the weed from him "it could be cute" lip finally speaks up "let's think about it over some drinks" ian says and you all start walking to the alibi

taglist: @mailmango @spermeboy @ghostking4m @gayaristocrat @addictedtomalepits @staarb0y @crispysoup318 @its-ares @gargoylesworld09

©starboye productions

[qwertycake]

parental caretaker and kid writing prompts

- younger kid standing on their caretaker's shoes and rocking around. almost like they're dancing or waltzing.

- the thing where the caretaker pulls the kid closer to them by like wrapping their hand around their head and covering their ear and tucking them against them.

- kid sitting on caretaker's shoulders. always a good one.

- "shh, shh, I know, I know"

- any sort of "take me instead" situation, said by either character. devastating.

- dealing with sickness. like obviously the kid getting sick and accidentally calling their caretaker mum/dad/parent in their feverish delirium is super cute and top tier.

- BUT ALSO. hear me out. caretaker getting sick but trying to push through to look after their kid and their kid works super hard to make their job easier or look after them in small ways.

- kid hiding for some reason (minor anxiety or major trauma or anything in between) and the caretaker comforting them or trying to coax them out.

- caretaker sweeping kid up in a big ole bear hug and spinning em around.

- kid hiding behind caretaker.

- "you should be in bed" "I can't sleep" "...alright, get over here, you can stay up for five more minutes"

- caretaker and a maybe slightly older kid arguing and making up.

- caretaker picking up slightly older kid from a party that's gone wrong in some way.

- caretaker who's maybe less like a parent and more like an older sibling. they take their kid to abandoned buildings and eat cheap takeaway/takeout with them.

- caretaker teaching their slightly older kid life skills that they maybe didn't have the chance to pick up on when they were younger.

- or yk just caretaker teaching their younger kid life skills. like trying to get them involved with cooking and lifting them up to help grab things and letting them watch things get cut up and prepared.

- caretaker indulging their younger kid in tea parties with their stuffed animals.

- caretaker looking after a kid's comfort items (bonus point if the kid is older, and double bonus points if the kid is too embarrassed to care for their comfort items themselves).

- younger kid curled up by their caretaker while their caretaker plays videogames. bonus points if the caretaker lets them play like baby mode co-op (like luma in mario galaxy). bonus bonus points if the caretaker is like an older sibling and gives the kid an unplugged controller.

- older kid playing co-op with their caretaker and getting way too invested. bonus points if it's mario kart. bonus bonus points if they're showing each other their favourite games from their respective childhoods (because yk different eras).

- caretaker carrying an exhausted kid to bed.

- better yet, the kid pretends to fall asleep in the car so they can be carried inside (caretaker knows their game but is more than happy to carry them).

- caretaker having a hard day working late and coming home to their kid sleeping peacefully on the couch, clearly having waited for them to come home.

- kid having a hard day at school and caretaker is in the middle of making dinner for them.

- caretaker shielding kid from danger with their body.

- kid refusing to leave caretaker's side when they're both in danger.

[have-you-seen-my-sanity]

Asking the moon boys about NNN

What if you asked them about doing NNN?

Jake:

November 1st -

"Hey Jake do you know about NNN?"

"Yes why?"

"Are you doing it this year?"

"Bold of you to assume I'm participating in such sins..."

"It's a challenge... for men... you know?"

He gives you a knowing look, he knows exactly what you mean, he's not stupid. "I know, mi amor. And you know what? Fuck it, I'm accepting it."

You chuckled. "Really?"

Jake shrugs. "You know I'm very patient?"

You would think he just uses Marc or Steven for relief but Jake could actually do it. You know Jake isn't lying, and his patience really shows off during november. But expect him to get you back as soon as it's december 1st.

December 1st -

"Mi amor!" Jake almost sing sang. "Stupid challenge is over! I won! Now my reward?"

Marc:

"Hey Marc, you doing NNN this year?"

Marc almost choked on his own spit. "What?!"

"No Nut Nov–" he cut you off before you could finish it.

"Uh I know that, why do you ask?"

You shrug. "Just asking if you're doing it. You up for that challenge?"

"You're asking me to do the impossible?" he gives you an exhausted look.

"That's why it's a challenge, Marc. Did you forget about it yesterday?" you laughed.

"That's one month. One. Month." he says, running a hand through his face.

"Yeah that's 30 days. 30 days." you pointed out.

Marc gave you a look. "Couldn't you have told me about it yesterday??" he asks.

You furrowed your brows. "But yesterday was October 31st, why–" you stopped mid-sentence, realizing what he meant. "You can't be for real..."

Marc grinned wickedly at you. "I could have prepared myself."

Your jaw went slack. "There's no way you could have prepared yourself for 30 days without."

"I could have tried. Now this month is going to be such a torture for me." he sighed.

"Not for your balls?"

Marc raised an eyebrow and scowled at you. He opened his mouth to speak but couldn't come up with something, he just threw himself back against the couch, looking like he's questioning his existence.

Marc is definitely not a fan of No Nut November, acting like he's having an existential crisis going on, and you should expect him going feral as soon as the clock hits midnight on november 30th.

December 1st -

You heard the front door open, acompanied by his voice.

"Honeeyy, where are youuu? It's december!"

Steven:

"Steven," you smiled, sitting down next to him on the couch, who was eating a bowl of cereal "you know it's november now, right?"

He put the spoon down. "Yeah, why're you askin'?"

"Are you going to do the NNN challenge?"

Steven looked at you, confusion written all over him. "Wot?"

"No Nut November." you explained.

He frowned but he tried to hide the smile threatening to show. "Wow, what?"

You grin. "A challenge."

"And what is the challenge?" he asked, getting curious.

"It's in the name. Basically a challenge for guys not to, well... nut."

Steven had to hold back his laughter. "Yeah I'm not doin' it, forget it."

You raised an eyebrow. "It's only 30 days."

"Do you actually think some guys wouldn't just wank off behind the back? Seriously."

You wanted to argue but couldn't. "You can try?"

"Not happenin' love."

"So you're confessing you're too horny?"

Steven's eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me? Aight, fine, I'll do it."

You smiled, proud of yourself. "There you go. Maybe it won't be that hard for you."

Steven shot a dirty smile. "Whoa, hey, I catched your pun."

December 1st -

Steven knocked gently on your door. "Love? You hear me? November is over, can we get goin' again? I've got a big problem..."

[iwishf1wasreal]

F1 Driver NSFW Profile: ✴ Carlos Sainz ✴ smut ✴ 18+ readers only

I. Flirt. 

He thinks of himself as a very classy guy. He has no desire to be the loudest in the crowd or draw too much attention to himself. He feels the same about flirting. He’d rather live up to his nickname, Smooth Operator, and subtly yet suavely get your attention. He's also decidedly somewhat against PDA with a few minor exceptions depending on the occasion. But when you’re alone, he’s all over you. He’s also very romantic, a man who doesn’t just buy you roses or light a few candles because he thinks that’s what he should do. He genuinely enjoys it and can riff off of the classic romantic gestures to make them perfectly tailored to you. But mostly because he’s private and quite protective, PDA is at a very discrete minimum. 

II. Propositioning.

Again, he’ll lead with romance. A deep kiss that takes your breath away. Tender and lingering touches once you’re behind closed doors. He’ll lead you to the base of the bed, kissing your neck and hands running over the skin, bunching up the bottom of your top. Carlos is also pretty controlled. He tends to have a pretty good cap on whatever emotions are just bubbling underneath, so he’s not exactly ripping you out of the party to take out in the back alley. It’s much less saucy and provocative. But once you know him, know his mannerisms and expressions, he can still light a fire in the pit of your belly by simply making eye contact with you over the ring of his glass. The mask he wears is neutral, perfectly acceptable for the public occasion but you know what he’s thinking. You can practically see it spelled out on his forehead. You’ll do your best to convince him to head home early.   

III. Libido.

He could go all day but finds that a waste of an entire day. He’s young and athletic, so he benefits from his strength and stamina. He definitely would not consider himself a sexual person though you would be first to argue that he certainly fucks like one. Sexuality would be so private for him, and he would need to feel comfortable as well, so one-night stands had been mostly infrequent before you. 

IV. Turn-Ons: tame & nasty.

Tame: Red dresses. High heels. Red fingernail polish. Dangly earrings. Low-cut tops. When you touch his bicep when you laugh. Watching you dance. When his cooking makes you moan. Reaching out for him in the middle of the night. Watching you lean over to take a golf shot and you purposefully wiggle your bum because you know he’s watching. Short golf skirts and those little white socks with sneakers. Nails scratching against his scalp. Drinking beer. Hide behind him. Letting him feed you. Watching each other from across the room.

Nasty: When you open your mouth and stick out your tongue at him to show him you’ve swallowed all he gave you. You sprawled on the bed with your hair fanned out behind you, covered in a mist of sweat with a tied, satisfied smile. When he starts taking you harder from behind so you have to reach back and hold on to him. Desperate gasps of his name. Eye contact. When he hits just the right spot and you let out some sort of exclamation. 

V. Self-stimulation.

Generally when he’s away, it's with his imagination. Maybe a sex video off the internet if he’s looking for the release to relieve stress more than sexual frustration. Would never and does not ask about nudes but happily accepts them if you’re willing to share. Facetime sex is also an option but he has to be wined and dined, so to speak. He doesn’t want you to just answer completely bare or in the shower. He wants you to make some sort of effort, maybe a lovely dress or one of his shirts and colour coordinated panties. Something that shows him you’ve been looking forward to the call as much as he has. 

VI. Foreplay.

If you wanted, he’d happily go down on you and expect nothing in return. Sometimes, you’ll even offer or reach to thank him–still dazed from your orgasm and he’ll stop you. “If only we had all day, cariño.” he’ll smile softly before he kisses you deeply and gets out of bed. He’s easily convinced for another full round in the shower but he’ll start to get antsy if you keep him beyond that. Doing something whilst you’re winding down in the evening isn’t sworn off by any means and wine can make his hands wander. But he needs to at least feel like he’s done more with his day than just you. 

VII. Rhythm.

Because he is so genuinely romantic, he prefers a tender and savouring rhythm. Relatively quiet during sex, not because he’s not feeling it or is embarrassed. He’s just always so much in his head and sex can be quite emotional for him. You can get him out of it with enough coaxing and making him feel so good he loses his inhibitions. Otherwise, he’s a lot of shallow breathing and gentle groans. 

VIII. How He Likes It.

He’s a missionary guy with some variation: legs folded to your chest, held down so you're folded in half or propped up against his shoulders. Maybe with you sideways beneath him while he’s still poised on top of you. Mostly he’s focused on keeping your eye contact  or watching you react to what he’s giving you. Though, he feels best in doggy but sometimes fully can’t concentrate on thrusting when you start circling your hips and throwing it back.  

IX. Location, location, location.

Obviously, being so private, it’s in the comfort and safety of whatever bedroom you find yourselves staying in that week. Craziest place you’ve done it is a golf course. One of the very few times you’ve let him drag you to the course and he pretends like you aren’t half asleep ranting about groundwater pollution and the loss of habitat on the way there. But he likes seeing you in the little outfit and the way you cling to him since you’re so out of your element. It’s also one of the rare times he’s gone without his usual golf entourage which makes it feel like you simply must take advantage. He’s not really much for you topping so you considered it another reason for the special occasion when you come across hole number 11 that’s shaded in shrubs and trees. The golf cart squeaked the whole time and Carlos almost ruined his own orgasm thinking someone else’s cart was starting to crest over the hill but you did it. Slightly awkward and dazed after, you still got it done. It seemed to spark a frenzy in him though, he was behind you coaching you through every swing. When, normally, he likes to throw you into the deep end and gleefully watch you struggle. It’s one memory he and his imagination rely on heavily when he’s away. 

X. Kinky.

Not particularly kinky, more about each individual experience than wanting to recreate or dedicate certain experiences every time. Solidifies the belief that “vanilla” doesn’t have to mean boring. He’s just a partner who values a connection that feels the same and based in emotions. Sex is an expression of love for him.

XI. Bedroom aids/Toys.

He’s down to use a vibrator during sex if that’s something you’re into. He’s not really that kind of devious where he’ll suggest it or just pull it out in the moment and evaluate your reaction. He’s rational enough not to see it as a competitor and he knows you rely on it when he’s gone. So he does his best to work in tandem though when things get to the nitty gritty, sometimes he can struggle to multitask so either you need to take over and put the vibrator to the spot that feels right or he’ll toss it across the bed and focus on one thing at a time.

XII. Cum.

Again, he can last a while especially if he uses the intense mind-over-matter mentality he’s perfected from racing. He’d prefer to use condoms simply because the clean-up can be easier…But isn’t opposed to going raw.

XIII. Pleasure reciprocation.

You give head fairly equally and he will try anything you ask him to. Degradation was particularly hard from him. He’d start out good, calling you names and taunting you with his dick but after a certain point he couldn’t hold up the act any more. “I can’t do it, amor. It feels wrong, I can’t do it. “ He panted heavily in your ear after his thrusts came to a halt.  But ultimately, he’s good with head. Understands the need for varaction and strong suction. Also, once he observed just how, uh, /helpful/ his nose could be…he really stepped up his game in a whole new way. 

IVX. Bonus.

Though he’s not particularly loud in the bedroom, he does indulge in dirty talk but in his native Spanish. If you’re not a fluent speaker, he tries to use it as motivation to get you to learn. 

When you ask what he’d just purred so sultrily in your ear, he tuts disapprovingly. “Tienes que seguir estudiando, mi amor.” 

He’ll stay in Spanish the entire time, sometimes even let his native tongue bleed into whatever you’re doing after. Even acts like Spanish just feels so much better on his tongue, he can’t help that he stays in it. 

One time when you’re on your knees for him, he’s particularly talkative. A soft husky tone, just between the two of you despite his empty Milano flat. He’s got one hand in your hair, keeping it out of your face as you go down on him.

“Dios–Fuck, Oh my–” It was the first time he slips between the two languages but it’s only momentary. Once his eyes came fluttering open and you pulled off him for a moment to breathe, hands taking over for a moment. “Cariño, por favor.” He sounded desperate, his free hand clutching the arm of the chair he’s seated on, hand desperately grasping at the fabric. Trying to find some semblance of reality to hold on to. 

So rarely do you have him in the palm of your hand. You were smirking to yourself, looking at him with big innocent eyes and his body started to trash. He said something else in Spanish, he had said it enough times that you knew it meant he was close. In this moment, it wasn’t lost on you that his repetition of perverted lessons in Spanish might actually be paying off. 

You put your mouth back over him, starting slowly again–a contrast to the firm, strong pace of your hand. Focusing on the head, you let your tongue rub against it and his hips bucked involuntarily. He says more in Spanish but you can’t really hear him. You’ve taken him back down your throat. No warning just as far as you can fit him. He’s practically howling now, Spanish words blending together you’re not sure if he’s coherent. 

He didn’t last much longer, whiny and whimpering when you kept sucking after he finished. When Carlos finally breaks free, he lets out a long string of curse words–jumbled between English and Spanish.

“You okay, baby?” You ask in an innocent tone, gentle hands still fondling him. He hisses as your hand caresses his tip again. He almost looks like he might cry. 

“¡Ay, carino, por favor!” He hissed, snatching your hand off his dick and reaching for his shorts from around his ankle. “Suficiente. Estoy suficiente, por favor.” You couldn’t help but giggle. Carlos, always so composed and control, fucked out and overstimulated, practically ready to jump out of his skin if you even flinched to reach out for him again. “I need time to recover.” He huffed, looking at you with stern brown eyes. 

“Si, señor.” you saluted him playfully and he sighed, side eyeing you like he was debating something. Before you can ask, Carlos peeled himself out of the chair and extended his hand to help you up. Once face to face, you kissed him. Letting him taste himself on your tongue before you both went your separate ways for the day. 

“I think you could use some one on one tutoring,” he tutted, looking you up and down.

“Por que?” you asked back with mock insult. 

Carlos didn’t answer. Just rolled his eyes and bent to swing you over his shoulder, dragging you up to your bedroom. 

[anto-pops]

To the Victor Go the Spoils - Sebastian Sallow x Female!Reader

Summary: Since Sebastian can't hold himself accountable and show up to Quidditch practice, Imelda takes matters into her own hands and bans him from being around you until the upcoming game is finished. It's something easier said than done.

Alternatively summarized as you and Sebastian having a terrible time in lieu of Imelda's no-sex-ban, but good things always come to those who wait.

Based on a request I received! Hope you like it anon :)

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: 18+, aged up characters, explicit content

Full fic can be found here on Ao3! 

It’s not like you couldn’t tell Sebastian was overwhelmed. He wore his emotions on his sleeve, despite his efforts to always hide them. A boggart could mirror him in a flash and betray his fears and his thoughts, but even then you would know what to expect beforehand, because you knew him better than anyone. 

Between classes, the new Quidditch season, and his new goal of becoming an Auror, Sebastian felt like he was being pulled in a thousand different directions all at once. Realistically, it shouldn’t be so difficult for him to prioritize one task at a time. That’s how easy it would be to solve his problems; he only needed to slow down and take a breath before diving back into the bottomless workload. But it didn’t matter what he told himself or how he rationalized everything– he was still stressed and on the verge of tearing his hair out. 

You watched as Sebastian pushed around a sausage on his plate, his breakfast mostly untouched while he warred with the thoughts in his head. 

“You should eat,” chimed Ominis from across the table, tired of listening to the scrape of Sebastian’s fork on the platter. “Don’t you have Quidditch practice in an hour? You’ll need the energy.” 

“Not really hungry,” Sebastian replied monotonously, and you frowned. 

Popping your last piece of sliced fruit in your mouth, you jabbed at Sebastian’s sausage with your fork and held it up to his lips imploringly. “Eat. He’s right, you’ll be useless out there if you’re running on fumes.” 

Pressing the greasy meat to Sebastian’s freckled lips garnered a small smile from him, but that was it. He gingerly pushed your hand away and shook his head, letting his chin fall against his palm with a sigh. “Sorry darling, really though. I think I’ll throw up if I try at this point.” 

Grumbling something about ‘taking better care of himself’, your trio’s attention was then grabbed by the sound of the Great Hall doors being thrown open. The fact that Imelda had the strength to actually make the monstrous slabs of wood ricochet off the wall was terrifying, but the feeling paled in comparison to the fear you felt when your eyes landed on her furious expression. 

“Sallow!” she bellowed over the chatter in the dining room, and a hush seemed to fall over the crowd. “Where the hell have you been?” 

Sebastian’s back was to the doorway, but you watched as his eyes pinched shut at the sound of the Quidditch captain’s voice. Merlin’s beard– this was just what he didn’t need. Ominis fought a smile at the sound of Imelda stomping over to where you were seated, and when she came to stop behind you, you cast a pleading look over your shoulder at her. 

“Imelda, he’s not feeling great today–” 

“Bullshit,” she cut you off, and your mouth snapped shut with an audible crack. “He’s not feeling great but he still has time to run around school instead of coming to practice? I think not. Get your ass up, Sebastian, I’m not letting you miss a third day.” 

His dark eyes made a full circle in his skull, but he sighed, already resigned to his fate. There was no arguing with Imelda when she was in one of her moods, and he knew he’d already done enough to piss her off by blowing off Quidditch practice two days in a row. He wouldn’t put it past her to kick him off the team entirely if he started to grouse. 

Sebastian shot you a smile as he stood from his seat, although it kind of looked more like a grimace. Before he could move to head for the doors, he watched as Imelda snatched the fork you’d skewered his sausage with. She spun towards him, her free hand flying to his face in a split second, and when her fingers pinched his nose and jerked his head up, Sebastian’s mouth was left open long enough for his Captain to shove the food between his lips. 

“Mmph–” the sausage hung limp in Sebastian’s slack mouth, his eyes widening at the brazen action, but Imelda only nodded once, pleased with her handy work. 

“There. Eat that on the way. And you,” she pointed a crooked finger at you, making you pause. “Unless you’re going to drag Sallow’s lazy ass to the field every day this week, stay away from him. He’s useless to me if he can’t play right and something tells me you’re a bigger distraction than you are a help.” 

An indignant sound resonated from your throat, but before you could formulate a retort, Imelda had spun on her heel and was dragging Sebastian out of the Great Hall by the fabric of his cloak. He cast one last irritated glance at you over his shoulder, sausage link perched between his lips, before he disappeared completely from sight, and you scoffed. 

“Unbelievable. Who the hell does she think she is?” 

It was a mostly rhetorical question, but Ominis chuckled across from you and scraped his remaining breakfast into a pile before answering. “She is the Captain of the team. Honestly I’m surprised it took her this long to drag Sebastian back to the field. He has been rather… preoccupied, recently.” 

Exasperated, you exclaimed, “Yeah, with school! She can’t seriously think I’m to blame for him blowing off practice. Sebastian is going to do what he wants to do, we both know that.” 

Ominis shrugged before spooning his last bite into his mouth, choosing his words carefully as he chewed and swallowed. “True. However, you have to admit he has spent every waking minute of his free time this week with you. It’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong, but we also know Sebastian will always prioritize what he likes to do over what he should do.” 

It frustrated you to admit it, but Ominis had a point. Whatever, if Imelda wanted Sebastian to herself to focus on Quidditch, then so be it. The big game against Gryffindor was in three days. You could keep your distance from Sebastian for that long, for his sake and maybe for yours as well. It pained you to admit it, but you had been putting off studying for your exams, preferring to get tangled in the sheets with Sebastian late at night and canoodle like teenagers. 

Convinced the rest of the day would be boring and slow moving, you sighed and rose from your seat. “Come on, let’s head to the library. Might as well spend the next three days catching up on some reading.” 

Ominis neatly organized his cutlery on his plate before plucking his wand from the table and standing. “That’s the spirit. I wouldn’t worry too much, three days is nothing in the grand scheme of things.” 

For some reason, you didn’t believe him. 

—

Imelda made good on her word to keep Sebastian away from you in his free time. Every time you saw him around school he was wearing his Quidditch uniform, grass and dirt stains accumulating on his knees and elbows with each passing hour. He looked beyond haggard, but he seemed to be in good enough spirits when you finally sat beside him in charms class a day later. It was the first chance you’d been given to talk with him since the other morning, and Sebastian seemed as eager to be around you as you were to be beside him. 

“Hey stranger,” he whispered with a smile as Professor Ronan started on a tangent about responsible wand usage. 

Your grin was ear splitting, “Hey yourself. How has practice been going?” 

He shrugged nonchalantly, flipping through his textbook to give the appearance of following along in the lesson. “As good as it can be, I guess. Imelda’s new trials are brutal but effective. I like to think we’ll crush Gryffindor to dust come this weekend.” 

“That’s good. Is she still keeping you on a short leash?” 

At that, Sebastian’s face fell, his brows slamming down in disbelief. “You have no idea. Do you know what she told me after assaulting me with that sausage the other day? She said ‘no hanky-panky until we win the game’. Apparently my having sex is a distraction and she won’t have any of it.” 

Sebastian groaned under his breath when you lifted your hand to muffle your laughter. “Wow, she isn’t messing around this time. Did she put you in a chastity belt or something?” 

“Thank fucking Merlin she hasn’t, but I wouldn’t put it past her. It’s the most counter productive thing I’ve ever heard in my life. How is not having sex going to win us the game? If anything it’s detrimental to my performance– I’m all strung out and whiny.” 

“Honestly, I think it’s just her own unique form of punishment for skipping practice,” you murmured. “Better sort out your time management skills fast, who knows what she’ll do in the future if you start slacking off again.”

Before he could reply, Professor Ronan was instructing the class to pair up and practice a new spell. Free from Imelda’s piercing gaze for one blessed hour, Sebastian didn’t hesitate to place his hand on your shoulder, silently claiming you as his partner. 

The rest of class breezed by fairly quickly, and afterwards when everyone had been dismissed to head out to lunch, you found yourself being led down a corridor into a dark, dusty broom closet by Sebastian. You felt your boyfriend’s hands on your waist as he guided you backwards against the wall, and then his lips were on yours, chasing away the hollow feeling that had existed in your chest since he’d been kidnapped from the Great Hall the day prior. 

It was frantic and desperate, both of you trying in vain to taste as much of the other as possible. Your hands were everywhere; in his hair, scratching down his chest, then underneath the pressed fabric of his dress shirt as your fingers danced across his burning skin. Sebastian’s tongue delved deep in your mouth, swallowing the tiny mewls his kisses pulled from you with deep rooted pride. When his knee nestled itself in between your spread legs and pressed against your core, you couldn’t help but moan loudly at the sensation, wanting instantly to feel more of him after one mere day of trying not to be a distraction. 

As Sebastian’s hand came up to undo the top button of your blouse, light suddenly flooded the dirty closet, sending the two of you scurrying apart flushed and panting. 

“Well well, my little bird was right. You were being naughty. Tsk tsk, Sallow.” Imelda had her hands firmly planted on her hips, an utterly devilish smile playing on her lips. “Out you go, dear. Sebastian needs to eat lunch and then it’s straight to the Quidditch pitch for practice.” 

“For fuck’s sake, Reyes. Is nothing sacred anymore?” Sebastian’s hands raked through his disheveled hair, looking like the textbook definition of ‘frazzled’ and ‘horny’. 

“My rules are sacred, and you damn near broke the most important one. You seriously can’t keep it in your pants for two more days? It’s not like I’m asking you to cut off your manhood and leave it with her. It’s just pathetic at this point.” 

An elaborate string of profanities fell from Sebastian’s lips as he strode out of the closet past Imelda, his hands curled into fists at his side. He said nothing to you on his way out, but you already knew he was in for it now. His erection had been painfully obvious pressed against your thigh through his trousers. 

Imelda was still standing in the doorway, taking in your own unkempt appearance with a coy smirk. “You can have him back after the game, I promise. In the meantime, I would go clean up if I were you. You look like you’re in heat.” 

She turned to leave then, the closet door drifting shut in your face as you gaped at the empty space where she had disappeared from. 

That woman was unbelievable. You silently wished Sebastian luck with the brutal case of blue balls you knew he would be sporting for the rest of the day. 

— 

The game was unbelievably intense. 

Imelda had definitely put her team through the ringer in the days leading up to Saturday, but the same could be said for Gryffindor’s players. Every time Slytherin scored, Gryffindor seemed to bounce back almost instantaneously with a point of their own. Your eyes had been glued to Sebastian the entire time, watching in awe as he zipped around the field and evaded bludgers with a finesse you couldn’t help but cheer for. 

He scored the next point, psyching out Gryffindor’s keeper with a fake throw towards the left hoop before angling his arm at the right one. The quaffle soared through the ring, and the crowd around you roared in support. 

“Sebastian scored!” you exclaimed and grabbed Ominis by his forearm, shaking him wildly with enthusiasm. “It’s fifty to forty now– we might actually win this!” 

“Where is Slytherin’s seeker?” he asked, your excitement palpable enough to get his heart racing. 

You searched the field for the woman in question. Clarisse Brown was scanning the pitch below her from high above, her eyes narrowed in concentration. All the noise from the stands did little to deter her focus, and you watched with rapt interest as her gaze zero’d in on the Gryffindor seeker across the way. 

“She’s close to the goal post on her side– no hang on, she’s diving! She’s following Gryffindor’s seeker, I think they’ve spotted the snitch.” 

Everything else happened so quickly, you barely had time to commentate any of it to Ominis before you were watching the two seekers tumble against the grass after the tiny, golden ball. A hush fell over the crowd as the players untangled their limbs from the ground, but then it was Clarisse shooting upright, the snitch clasped victoriously in her hand. 

“She caught it– Slytherin got the snitch! They won!” 

The celebration started almost instantly. Throes of screaming students funneled down onto the field to hoist Clarisse high above their heads, whooping and cheering and chanting songs to praise the hard earned triumph. 

You and Ominis stayed in the safety of the emptying stands, but even from far away, you saw Sebastian’s head turn towards you. His gaze was one of thrilled success, and when he took in the sight of you beaming at him, a different sort of look passed over his features. 

One that you were eager to see up close. 

—

The Slytherin team certainly knew how to throw an after party. The common room was in a celebratory uproar, goblets of spiked pumpkin juice being passed around as chatter filled every nook and cranny of the otherwise dim, quiet room. Truly, you’d never seen it so packed. 

Sebastian didn’t give a shit though. He didn’t care about toasting to his team’s victory, nor did he care to even congratulate Clarisse on catching the snitch in the first place. 

No, all he cared about was getting you upstairs on his bed. 

You had no choice but to practically skip to keep up with Sebastian’s long-legged stride as he led you to his dorm. His grip on your wrist was like a vice, unrelenting as he weaved through the scattered groups of people you encountered on the way. A few of them looked as though they wanted to congratulate him– maybe even strike up an actual conversation– but the look on his face must have been downright primal, because everyone of them backed up with wide eyes and hushed whispers. 

You flushed under their knowing stares. Merlin.

When Sebastian tugged you through the threshold of the dorm, his lips were on yours in a heartbeat. He pressed you against the still closing door, and as it latched shut, you were jolted by the weight of Sebastian leaning against you. His hands were winding in your hair, tugging you against his mouth urgently in some desperate attempt to taste you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, kicking your legs up to hook around his waist as you shamelessly rolled your hips against his, and the throaty growl he let loose had heat pooling in your gut instantly. 

“Worst fucking week of my life,” he groaned the statement against your lips, and you couldn’t help but snicker. “I’m serious, I’m gonna kick Imelda’s ass if she ever tries to impose her rules on me again.” 

That wasn’t going to cut it. You hadn’t spent the last three days waiting to get your boyfriend back from Imelda for him to start talking about her with his cock rutting against you. “Can you not bring up Imelda and just fuck me already?” 

An animalistic sound came from Sebastian then, and he pulled away from your lips long enough to stare at you in a way that had you dizzy with arousal. “With pleasure, darling.” 

He was quick to throw you down on his bed, hastily muttering a locking charm on the door before he tossed his wand on the dresser and ripped his jersey over his shoulders. The dried sweat on his skin glimmered against the glow from the hearth in the center of the room, leaving your mouth watering, and you rushed to kick off your boots to speed things along. 

Sebastian was on you in an instant, kissing you senseless as one deft hand slid under your waistband and flicked the button open. He trailed his soft lips down the curve of your jaw, then lower along your neck, and he paused to suck at the skin there as he tugged your trousers down from your hips. You lifted your ass to assist, and once the restrictive material was gone, Sebastian straddled your waist so he could press his clothed member against the thin cotton of your undergarments firmly. 

You moaned at the contact, tilting your head back to grant him easier access to your fluttering pulse. He licked a broad stripe down the sensitive skin of your throat while his hands began undoing the clasps of your shirt. 

Sebastian’s gravelly voice vibrated against the wet skin of your neck, snapping you out of your pleasure induced daze. “Do you want me to bend you over or do you want to look at me while I fuck you?” 

Damn. “I-I want to see you. Feel like I haven’t had the chance to all week.” Your hands punctuated the statement by trailing up the delicious curve of his spine, drawing a shiver from him. “Is that okay? What do you want?” 

When he pulled away from your flushed neck, his eyes darkened immeasurably further, and the longer strands of his hair falling into his face gave him the appearance of some impassioned, sex-driven lunatic– but you weren’t about to start complaining. Not when he scooched down your prone form to start unbuttoning your shirt, and certainly not when he poked his tongue through his lips in thoughtful concentration. 

“I just want you, I don’t care about anything else. Fuck– not even jerking off helped– it’s like there was a mental block I couldn’t get past.” The last button fell open, and Sebastian slid the material off of your shoulders, his eyes hungrily roving over your naked body. His fingers trailed up your smooth stomach before kneading your breasts in his heated palms, drawing a strangled gasp from your throat. “Did you touch yourself at all this week or were you waiting for me?” 

You were embarrassed to admit that you had tried, but before you could tell him as much, Sebastian was pinching your nipples slightly and twisting, causing you to arch into his touch as a high-pitched moan sounded from your kiss swollen lips. “Mm, Sebastian–” 

The sound of your voice threatened to send him over the edge right then and there. “There is no wrong answer, I’m only curious…” 

He trailed off, lessening his ministrations against your breasts so you could reply. “Y-Yes. I tried, but it wasn’t the same. It never is.” 

That cocky smirk was taking up his entire face, and you knew then you should have just lied, because now his ego was bound to grow out of control. 

“It never is, hm? Then what do you want– what do you need to get off? Say the words, darling, and it’s yours.” 

Despite the delectable feeling of his hands working you into a frenzy, you wanted to smother him for taking so long. Was three days worth of stolen glances and a crippling case of blue balls not enough to push him into action? Of course not. Typical of him to still find a way to make you beg for what you knew he wanted more than anything. 

Your hands flew up to grip the belt loops on his painfully tight trousers, tugging his hips down so they were flush with the slick cloth separating your heat from him. “I need you– I need your cock inside of me, please Sebastian. My fingers just aren’t the same–” 

He silenced you with a particularly aggressive kiss, breathing heavily against your cheek as his teeth came to nibble at your bottom lip before he pulled away entirely to unfasten his belt. You’d never seen him move so quickly, his quidditch trousers coming to pool in a wrinkled heap against the stone floor, and then it was just his briefs in the way. They disappeared just as fast, his cock springing free and arching proud against the hair below his navel, and then Sebastian was scaling up the bed like a predator. 

When he kissed you again, he started to slide your soaked panties away, letting you kick them off when they got too low for him to follow. He placed his fingers against your overwhelmingly slick entrance, relishing in the needy gasp his featherlight touch pulled from you. 

You caved completely to Sebastian as he pushed a slender digit inside, working you open slowly as your spine curved off the mattress and you whined loud. Sebastian let himself bask in the sight of you for a moment despite his baser urges; you looked great spread for him like this, rocking down onto his finger as your hands fisted in the sheets beneath you, and when you cracked open your half-hooded eyes to gaze up at him, the tenderness in your expression tugged at something in his chest. 

Tentatively, Sebastian added a second finger, slowly pushing inside you and pausing briefly to give you a chance to adjust to the intrusion, but you were already writhing under him, feebly searching for something more. 

“Something the matter?” he purred the question, feeling rather smug when you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“N-Not to be ungrateful, but your fingers aren’t cutting it– ah!”

Sebastian had pulled his hand back and plunged his digits back in, crooking the tips of his fingers up in search of that magical spot that always reduced you to a moaning mess, and it didn’t take him long to find it. He knew your body better than you did. “Not cutting it, huh?” 

You shivered as he proceeded to rub the long appendages along your pulsing walls, seemingly focused on hitting your sweet spot every time, and Merlin, was he succeeding. The pleasure was undeniable, your stomach tensing and twitching as warmth rapidly pooled in your gut, and when the pad of Sebastian’s thumb came to roughly press against your clit, there was no stopping the keening sob that ripped from your mouth. It was glorious– absolutely everything you had been dreaming about all week– and you frantically clawed at the tops of Sebastian’s rounded shoulders in a silent plea. 

“Fuck, please Sebastian– I want you– I wanna come on your cock, I’m not gonna last long, please–” 

He was pulling his fingers out of you in a flash, those strong hands coming to grab at your hips and haul you down the bed so you were flush with his leaking member. The feeling of your slick rubbing against his shaft had him seeing stars, and when he aligned himself and finally pressed into your welcoming heat, his head tipped back as a groan slipped through his clenched teeth. 

“Merlin, you’re so fucking perfect– fuck–” 

It wasn’t a slow descent by any means, but it wasn’t fast either, and you were grateful seeing as it gave you the chance to really feel Sebastian’s cock fill you up. The blunt head reached so deep, way deeper than his fingers or your own, and your nerves lit on fire when he pulled back and rammed into you, his skin slapping against the shapely curve of your ass. Every sensation amplified the fire that had nearly crashed through you minutes earlier, and once he set a steady rhythm, you were writhing in earnest underneath him. 

“Shit,” you gasped after one especially rough thrust. “Fuck, fuck, Sebastian–”

“F-Feel good, darling?” Sebastian whispered, adjusting his grip on you so he could lean closer, and the new angle allowed him to shamelessly rut against you after each plunge of his cock, his own orgasm building quickly after three days of torturing himself without you. 

“Yes, fuck yes, s-so good– right there–” 

The sight of you moving harder against him, panting and keening and trembling, pulled filthy praises and moans alike from Sebastian’s lips. He didn’t think he’d ever wanted to cum so bad in his life– his pace had a mind of its own as he brainlessly thrusted into you, relishing in the feeling of you shaking and tightening around him before your nails were scraping deliciously down his back, and the sting had his cock twitching in a telling manner inside of you. 

“I’m gonna come darling, I’m– fuck–”

You beat him to it, his aggressive tempo sending you falling over the edge with a loud, drawn out cry of his name. Sebastian fucked you hard and fast through it, taking advantage of your pulsing heat to chase his own orgasm as he wound his fingers through your unruly hair and tugged hard enough to make your eyes roll into the back of your head. 

That did it.

Sebastian buried his face in the crook of your neck, his teeth biting at your collarbone as he whimpered your name over and over before his hips faltered and he was coming deep, and the sound of his moans coupled with the feeling of him filling you to the brim only served to push you higher. 

Completely spent, Sebastian let most of his weight fall on top of you as the ebbing waves of his orgasm coursed through him. 

“Holy fuck,” he heard you mutter from beneath him, and he cracked open a bleary eye to see you gazing contentedly at the ceiling. Removing his fingers from your hair to trail lightly over your cheek, you let him drag your face into a lazy, satisfied kiss, the lush scent of him filling your brain with mind numbing bliss. “Mm, missed you.” 

Sebastian’s voice was muffled against your lips when he spoke, “Never agreeing to something like that again. Quidditch can fuck right off– I don’t care.” 

Snickering quietly, you wrapped your arms around his sweaty back and tugged him sideways firmly so you could lay on top of him, careful of where the two of you were still connected. “And here I was going to say this was almost worth the wait.”

“Then you, my dear, are a sick and twisted masochist.” 

That got a real laugh out of you. “Hardly. When I think about it, it was nice seeing you in your uniform all sweaty for three days. Lots of dirty thoughts to fill in the gaps.” 

The awareness in his eyes came flooding back as he stared up at you wide-eyed, and you made a point to commit his gaping expression to memory. “You… wait, what?” 

You fought a smile as you shrugged nonchalantly, “You look good in a uniform. What else is there to say?” 

Following the bob of his throat as he swallowed, Sebastian’s voice sounded tight when he asked, “Do you want me to put it back on?” 

“Not now,” your fingers traced the sharp outline of his collarbones, gliding lower until they came to splay in the sparse collection of hair at the center of his hips. “I can think of a few other things I’d like to watch you do instead of strip all over again.” 

“Only a few?” 

“You’re incorrigible.” 

The rest of the night went by in a blur, with everyone celebrating Slytherin’s victory in the common room by drinking and dancing. All the while, you and Sebastian stayed sequestered in his dorm, intending on taking full advantage of the locked door before his roommates inevitably returned to soil the fun. You two would never need to know that Imelda stood guard at the bottom of the stairs, shooing away any meandering students to different wings of the foyer. It would be her own secret to keep. 

After all, she figured she kind of owed it to you for being such a good sport about the whole thing. 

[witchygagirlwrites]

Broken Bonds-Part 17

Former(ish) Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader, BabyDaddy! Jay Halstead x Reader

You face a hard case that pushes your limits and makes you finally face your feelings for Jay. The two of you confront those feelings head on.

Warnings: Violence, cursing, nsfw happenings

You sat on top of Kim’s desk next to her as you both went over files from the most recent case. A tip had led to a fairly decent sized drug bust but the tip had also led to the informant being killed and it was your informant. You wanted to know how his name had gotten leaked, who had leaked it and who had killed him because whoever was responsible was going down and you weren’t stopping until you personally put cuffs on them.

“Anything you can tell us that may help us here Kidd?” Voight asked and you shrugged, scrubbing a hand over your eyes “Jerry was a good guy. He had a wife and a kid. Hell he bought me a three pack of onesies when he found out Addy was a girl. He was a sweet guy who’d just gotten into some trouble and was trying to stay out of prison to be there for his son” 

Voight nodded “We’re gonna find who did this, I promise you that. We don’t put up with rats” you nodded because at the moment you didn’t want to hear promises of finding the perp, you wanted names. You wanted their neck under your boot and for them to know the only reason they made it to prison was because you were a mother and didn’t want to go home to your baby girl with any more blood on your hands than was necessary.  

You didn’t miss how Voight cut his eyes at Jay or how everyone was giving you a wide berth. This case was wearing on you. You were responsible for an eight year old no longer having his father because you’d popped him on a drug charge a few years back. You pushed off Kim’s desk to head towards the breakroom. You needed a bottle of water.

You leaned down into the fridge and heard someone walk into the room behind you, you didn’t have to look to know it was Jay. You could damn near feel it was him. “I’m fine” you promised and he scoffed “No, you’re not” you spun around to face him, holding the water bottle out almost accusatory “Ok, I’m not. Jay how the hell would you feel if someone got me killed? Would you think that person should be ok? If someone got you killed I damn sure wouldn’t want them to be ok”

“Sweetheart, it’s not the same thing” he spoke so damn gently you had to blink back tears “Explain to me why it’s not. Because I look at our daughter Jay, our little three and a half month old baby and I imagine some asshole talking you into something that ends up getting you killed and you know what that does to me? Jerry was a good guy. He was just trying to work off his case. This bust cleared him, it cleared him!” you hadn’t realized tears had started falling until Jay was across the room, pulling you into his arms.

He smoothed a hand down your back, the same way he did to soothe Addy “That’s why it’s not the same. If you were some asshole you wouldn’t be hurting over his death. I know he was a good guy. Every time we saw him when you were pregnant he had something for you, he bought stuff for Addy, he loved his son. When we find out who did it and we will I promise you we will bring them down” he pulled back enough he could meet your eyes “But I need you to promise me not to hide away. Addy needs her mom, I need you. The unit needs you”

“I’ve never lost a C.I, Jay” you whispered and he nodded “I know, your heart is so damn big sweetheart. That’s something I’ve always loved about you. For now though you’ve got to use that box to separate emotions from the job then when it's all over and you need to break, I’ll be there to help you or I’ll call Stella or-or even try to get Mouse to call. Whatever you need. If you can’t focus though and promise me you can focus Voight is going to bench you on this case and I’m not going to argue him”

You nodded slowly “I can separate them Jay. I promise you there’s nothing that could distract me from going home to Addy” he smiled “That’s my girl” and pressed a kiss to your forehead “Let’s get back to work” he slipped his arm around your shoulders and the two of you walked out of the breakroom.

You jolted awake for the third time, a thin sheen of sweat covering your body. Every time you’d fallen asleep you’d dreamt of the crime scene but instead of Jerry’s body it was Jay’s. You raised a shaking hand to your face and had to work to draw your breath. You glanced at the time and saw it was a little past two, you had Addy so he was probably asleep. You didn’t want to wake him but maybe if you heard his voice, it would convince your brain he was ok so you could sleep?

You pushed yourself up the bed and grabbed your phone off the table next to the bed. You hit his number and smiled when the photo of him and Addy popped up. It rang twice before he answered, voice deep with sleep “Hey sweetheart, you and Addy ok?” you immediately kicked yourself for worrying him. “I’m sorry for waking you up Jay, we’re ok” he yawned then said “It’s fine but you’re not ok. I can tell from your voice.Talk to me”

“I keep having nightmares” your voice wavered at the end and he spoke your name gently as a way to coax you into telling him “I keep seeing you dead instead of Jerry” you whispered, trying to fight back tears. You heard movement  on his end so you asked what he was doing “I’m getting dressed. I’ll be there in a few minutes” “Jay, it’s two in the morning. You don’t have to come across town.I just wanted to hear your voice to convince my brain you’re ok” “I never said I had to but if you can’t sleep to the point you’re calling me? I’m coming over. That way if you have another nightmare it’s even easier to let yourself know I’m ok if I’m asleep on the couch”

__________

Instead of trying to fall asleep you got up and checked on Addy then waited in the living room for Jay. When he unlocked the door and stepped in he smiled when he saw you sitting on the couch “Is she awake?” he whispered and you shook your head.

He nodded and took his jacket off then kicked his boots off before locking the door back then walked over to sit down next to you. He kept his voice low because he knew if not Addy would pop up if she heard him “Why are you in here?” You shrugged, twisting your crescent ring around your finger “I was waiting on you” he smiled slightly “Well as you see Detective Kidd, I’m alive and well. So you can get some sleep”

You nodded and went to stand then stopped “Do you want to just sleep in there with me Jay?” he opened his mouth then snapped it shut then opened it again before saying “We haven’t shared a bed since Addy was born” you laughed lightly “I know. I don’t think you’re gonna cease being a gentleman because I’m no longer pregnant. I just figured the bed is more comfortable than the couch and this case is kicking our ass enough. I’ll let you take the monitor so if she wakes up”

He nodded after a moment “Ok” and stood to follow you into the bedroom. You walked over to the bed and climbed in. How many nights had you watched Jay strip his jeans and shirt off to get into the bed while you were pregnant? Too many to count probably. However, this time? Your lower stomach flipped when he slid his pants off his hips.

He smiled when he realized your attention was on him “Same sides still?” you nodded so he climbed into the bed and turned to face you “Get some sleep. If you have a nightmare I’m right here to prove I’m ok” you smiled “Thank you Jay” “I told you, anything you need I’m here” he reminded you before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

____________

Jay woke up slowly, sleep fogging his brain slightly. He felt a warm body at his back and the night before came rushing back. You calling after a nightmare, him coming over and you asking him to sleep in the bed. He realized he’d moved around in his sleep to the point he was laying on his stomach facing away from you but you were curled up on his back, fast asleep. You must not have had any more nightmares or had attached yourself to him to the point to ensure you didn’t. Either way he could get used to waking up with you wrapped around him..no he couldn’t think like that.

The light sound of Addy babbling broke him out of his thoughts. You began to stir on his back and he froze when he felt your lips graze his shoulder and a sleepy “Mornin Jay” fall from your lips. “Morning” he replied and you crawled off of him, mumbling an apology. He smirked “Don’t apologize for being on top sweetheart, I don’t mind” and was rewarded with an eye roll.

You shook your head and got out of the bed “You coming to see your daughter since you’re here and don’t have to just meet me at the daycare?” he grinned “Of course” and moved to follow you out of the bedroom to Addy’s room.

You were feeling slightly more human when you walked into the precinct after you dropped Addy off at daycare. Jay had gotten her fed and dressed while you showered then followed you to the daycare. You cut your eyes up when you heard him coming in the door right after you “Here sweetheart” he held out a cup with your usual coffee order and you smiled “Thank you” “Of course”

You stopped at the palm scanner and he opened the door and held it after it popped. The two of you walked up the stairs and you hoped like hell once you got upstairs some sort of break was waiting to find Jerry’s killer. 

You glanced at the board, the picture of Jerry in the corner and felt Jay’s hand on your lower back. You nodded slightly “I’m fine” then headed for your desk. Time to compartmentalize. The mom you who was tearing herself apart at the idea of taking away a child’s father had to sit down while the detective you stood up to find the killer of that child’s father and see them rot in a prison cell.

Kevin bumped your hip on the way by “You good lil mama?” you nodded and bumped his shoulder in turn “Always Kev. You ready to do this today?” “Of course” he replied with a wink.

___________

A break finally came in around noon. Hank had feelers out all over the city along with a good amount of 505 funds greasing the wheels. You had a name. The drug dealer who pulled the trigger was the first hit. “Aaron Pilson” You taped the photo on the board. “History of armed robbery, assault, trafficking” 

Hank spoke up “We take no chance. You get the shot, you put him down” everyone nodded “Gear up, we roll in five”

You cut your eyes at Jay before knocking your shoulder against Kevin “C’mon partner” he grinned “I got ya mama” everyone headed down to roll up to grab their gear.

You slipped your vest on and felt hands adjusting the straps before you had time to and wasn’t surprised to find those hands belonged to Jay. “I can do that” you reminded him and he nodded “I know, I just wanted a chance to tell you to stay close to Kev. We have backup for a reason. Come home to Addy” you smiled up at him “Always. You come home to her too” he grinned “Of Course”

He winked at you then walked off to grab the rest of his gear so you did the same.

_________

“CPD FREEZE” You heard the call out from every entrance of the house as your unit breached it. Aaron was your target. He pulled the trigger but you wanted to know who gave him the name. You could hear multiple offenders surrendering around you and the members of your unit calling clear.

“PILSON IS RUNNING” Adam called across the coms so you cut your eyes at Kevin who nodded before you both ran out the side door “WE GOT HIM” Kevin spoke over the coms.

“Oh this bastard,” you muttered. You’d chased him for two blocks. You and Kevin slid around the corner and a piece of wood caught Kevin, knocking him off his feet “KEV!” you hollered as the same piece swung back towards you, only managing to knock your gun out of your hand. You ducked the second swing and managed to grab the wood,twisting to snatch it out of Aaron’s hand and tossed it.

He grinned at you “Feisty, I like it” You spotted Kevin getting to his feet but didn’t take your eyes off Pilson “C’mon asshole. You killed a friend. Take a swing” he swung on you but you blocked with your left forearm then side stepped and caught him under the jaw with your right fist. He staggered and tried to take another swing but Kevin shoved his gun into his neck “Swing on my partner again, please do it”

He held his hands up so you smiled “On your knees” he glared at you but did as you said. You walked over and picked up your piece then walked back to him “Now, who the hell is selling our C.I.s?” he spit towards your feet as an answer. “Wrong answer asshole” you pressed the barrel between his eyes “One more time. Who the hell is selling our C.I.s?”

____________

You stood between Jay and Kevin as Hank read SWAT into what you were walking into. Logan Henderson. He’d been a patrolman at the twenty-first for a few years and somehow hacked the mainframe, you planned to call in some favors to get it backed up to make sure this never happened again.  “This asshole got money hungry. He’s selling C.I.s now, U.C.s could be next” Hank reminded and a look was passed around the group because all of you had more than one undercover persona.

“We go in locked and loaded” Franklin Young, the man over the SWAT team working with your unit agreed. 

You and Kevin were teamed up with a SWAT member, same as every team of intelligence. You stood at ready until Hank and Franklin’s voices came across the coms “BREACH”

You could hear gunfire and yelling. You moved in with a hand on Kevin’s shoulder. You cleared each corner that way. “FREEZE” you heard Hailey’s voice and came around the corner to see Henderson raise his gun towards her and Jay “DROP THE WEAPON” Kevin shouted but Henderson didn’t so more than six guns fired rounds into his chest.

______________

“Do you want me to go with you?” Jay asked because you were going to see Jerry’s wife and take the money Hank was sending considering she was left with a kid because of a dirty cop. You nodded “Please, I don’t know if I can face her and his son alone” he slipped his hand into yours as the two of you walked out of the precinct “We’ll handle it together”

“I have a question” The moment Stella started any sentence with that you wanted to look for your jeep keys to make a quick exit but considering you were at your apartment and she was holding your baby that was out of the option pool. “Yes dear?” you asked and she grinned “She’s almost four months old, who would you feel about me having her for a night? I just I wanted to take her to the aquarium if that’s ok with you and Jay of course! Plus that way you both get a night free!”

“Stel you know I trust you and Kelly with my life but I have to talk to Jay before I give the ok on something like that” her grin got broader “I thought you’d say that but me and him already talked” you raised an eyebrow and pulled out your phone, scrolling through to Jay’s name.

It rang three times before he answered and you accused “Are you conspiring with my sister?” he laughed “Well hello to you too and no, she asked if I was ok with her and Kelly having Addy overnight and taking her to the aquarium. I said yes because we trust them to be her godparents so why not trust them for one overnight? Why? Is that not ok? She said she was going to talk to you”

You sighed “Honey, you talk to me first. You don’t give my sister approval then tell me when I call” “I’m sorry” he said and you laughed lightly “It’s ok. I’ll talk to you later” you told each other bye then hung up. You looked back at Stella “Friday night ok? Me and Jay have the weekend off unless intelligence gets called on a case” she nodded “That’s perfect”

You shook your head “Now that’s settled, we need to talk” her eyebrows nearly hit her hairline “That’s your serious face. What’s up?” you flopped down on the couch and she looked down at Addy “Uh oh. Mama’s upset. Wanna do tummy time?” she got Addy settled for tummy time on a blanket in front of the couch then sat down with her so she was right in front of you.

“Talk to me” she said, grabbing both of your hands in one of hers. “I think I fell” you whispered, not meeting her eyes. When she was quiet for a moment you looked up and she was chewing on her lip like she did when she was thinking “Out with it” she shrugged “You think? Or you did? And if you fell? Does that mean you fell out? Or are you still fallen and fell also?”

Jesus this conversation was confusing. You knew she was asking if you were still in love with Mouse or not. You raised a hand and let it drop “I don’t know but I know when I’m around Jay the world isn’t as loud. He makes it quieter” she smiled and rubbed your hands “Tell him” you took a deep breath “But what if I’m still fallen and fell also?” she shrugged “We’ll handle it but I still think Jay deserves to know” you looked over at Addy who was gnawing on her fist and gurgling to herself “Ok”

You slid off the couch to sit next to her, running a hand over her head and she began to babble. Stella laughed “See? She agrees!”

Friday evening you’d just finished getting Addy a bag packed when there was a knock at your door. You opened it expecting Stella and Kelly but Jay stood at your door. “Hey” you greeted and he smiled “Hey”

You stepped back to let him in and he went to where Addy was on her blanket and scooped her up. “Just couldn’t go until noon tomorrow?” you laughed and he narrowed his eyes at you “Don’t tease me” you smiled “I’m sorry Jay. It’s adorable really. I love how much you love our daughter”

He walked over to you, holding her in his arms “And I came to see if you want to go to dinner with me tonight” you raised an eyebrow “Are you sucking up for something? Did Adam and Kev steal my jeep and you’re the distraction?” “That happened once!” he laughed so you shrugged “Sure. Dressy thing or?” “No, just whatever you’re comfortable in” you grinned “Even better”

Another knock sounded and you rubbed Addy’s back “There’s Aunt Stella and Uncle Kelly” you opened the door and Stella walked in.You clocked the moment she noticed Jay, her eyes getting big “I’m here to get my niece” Jay smiled “Take my baby then’ she laughed when he passed Addy over and Kelly said “We will handle with care, we promise”

You turned in front of the mirror for the fifth time. You texted Stella and she said this outfit was fine. Nice fitting jeans, cute top and comfy, cute boots. Jay had seen you in so much worse. You’d done your hair and makeup well enough too. You heard a knock and checked the time, should be Jay.

You walked over to the door and opened it, freezing when you saw Jay. He was wearing jeans with a black button down shirt and his st michael pendant hanging loose. He grinned at you “You look good” you nodded “So do you” which only made his grin get bigger. 

“Don’t get full of yourself Halstead” you teased before grabbing your jacket. He watched you with a smirk, “Beautiful woman going to dinner with me who happens to be the mother of my child? Yeah I think I have the right to be a little full of myself” you felt your face warm and laughed “Let’s get going” he reached for your hand so you let him take it, lacing your fingers together.

_____________

“That one was not my fault! I had the choice to take the shot or let Ruzek run straight into three bangers hyped up on pcp!” you laughed as Jay teased you about something that happened years ago when intelligence was freshly formed. He grinned around his drink “Oh come on sweetheart even O laughed” you shook your head at him but honestly now that was a good memory. The bust had gone a little sideways but not in the people died way more in the why are there balloon animals and is that guy making face paint type of way. 

You’d missed this part of your relationship with Jay, the teasing easiness that had always been between the two of you. Since you’d gone back to work and the two of you had found a routine with Addy it found its way back and you found yourself falling further and further. You stared at the man across from you as the realization hit you like a truck. You were in love with Jay. You still loved Mouse but the fact remained you’d fallen in love with Jay.

How could you not? He was a gorgeous man, yeah but he was so much more than that. He was an amazing father, he supported you in everything you did. He had the biggest heart and despite the hell he’d seen still managed to fight for the good in the world. He was gentle when it was called for but absolutely deadly when someone needed to be protected.He was one of your best friends. The night you’d spent with him, he’d checked with you more than once to ensure your comfort and since then he’d made sure to not do anything to make you uncomfortable. When he found out you were pregnant he hadn’t hesitated. He was willing to go through anything and anyone for you and your daughter. He stood at your side, letting it be known that he trusted you to be capable of taking care of yourself but he was willing and able to tag in at any moment you needed him.

He called your name lightly and you blinked a few times, a smile slipping onto your face “Yeah?” the smile he gave you in turn was so damn gentle your heart ached “Where’d you go?” you wiped a hand down your face “Can we get out of here Jay? The food was amazing but I want to talk to you about something important and would rather it be somewhere more private”

He nodded slowly “Of course, let me flag down our waitress and I’ll pay”

____________

The entire ride back to your place Jay kept one hand on top of his truck console, holding yours. You smiled when he parked next to your jeep and his thumb rubbed lightly across the back of your hand “We’re in private” he spoke lightly so you turned to look at him. The streetlight hit his eyes just right, the blue seemed to glow.You felt your heart flip “Want to come in? I know Addy isn’t here tonight but I promise I’ll try to be good company”

He smiled “I think I can suffer through your company” he pulled your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to it before you both climbed out of the truck. He met you at the front of it and slipped his arm around your waist. You shook your head at him but dug your keys out of your pocket as the two of you walked up to your door. Jay always stood behind you, protectively while you unlocked the door as if he was worried that split second of distraction someone may hurt you.

You pushed the door open and stepped inside, looking back at him “Coming in?” he nodded and stepped in behind you, closing the door and locking it by habit. You smiled at the fact that he was so used to your place and slipped your jacket off. He did the same, laying his own the back of the couch.

_________

You walked into the kitchen with the intention to get a bottle of water and could feel Jay’s eyes on you. You weren’t even thirsty, you were stalling. Why were you stalling? This was Jay. You were never safer than around him. Even if he didn’t feel the same it’s not like he was going to be an ass about it. 

You turned back around and walked back into the living room where he stood in the center of it, watching you with a curious expression “We need to talk” he nodded slowly “You mentioned that but I’m waiting on you to start” You ran a hand over your hair and his eyebrows raised “Baby? What is it?” your heart flipped when he called you baby. You shook your head and walked across the room but he followed you, gently grabbing your wrist to turn you towards him and inadvertently putting your back to the wall “Talk to me. It’s just us, you know that no matter what I’m in your corner. You could tell me you killed someone and I’d probably help hide the body”

You laughed lightly “Yeah well so would Stella, Kev and probably Hailey” he rolled his eyes “Ha ha. I’m trying to make a point. I’m not gonna judge you here. You’re nervous and I can’t remember the last time you were nervous around me, hell probably when you first found out you were pregnant. So tell me, please?” You looked from where he still held your wrist up to him and took a deep breath before pulling your wrist away.

His face fell slightly but when instead you put your hands on his chest, one of them playing with the chain of his pendant he smiled, letting his hands fall to your hips. “Talk to me” he urged. You slowly raised your eyes to meet his and your breath caught in your throat at the look in his eyes. He was looking at you like you were one of the most important things to him, like you were absolutely amazing. Was Stella right? 

___________

“I love you Jay” he smiled “I love you” you shook your head “No, I mean I love you. I don’t know when it happened or what it means for the future but I’m in love with you Jay” “What?” he asked and you nodded, feeling the lump in your throat tighten “I don’t expect you to feel the same because Mouse is still there and..” he cut you off by crashing his lips against yours. This kiss wasn’t like the night you two conceived Addy. Those kisses were rushed, fueled by liquor and lust. This one was gentle, coaxing. His tongue flicked at your lips, begging for access and when you allowed it, he pressed you against the wall with his body rolling his tongue against yours and pulling a low moan from you at the feeling.

“Jay” you tried and he pulled back, grabbing your hands in his and pinning them above your head. Your stomach flipped as you looked up into his eyes, the pupils blown and the slow smile working its way onto his face. “I don’t give a damn about anything else. The rest can be figured out as long as you love me” his lips moved from yours to your neck, tongue and teeth teasing the sensitive flesh there “Do you know how hard it’s been to not let that slip? To not tell you how much I’m in love with you?” he whispered against your skin. You whimpered lightly and he groaned “Oh baby, you sound so fucking pretty” 

You swallowed hard and had to try twice to find your voice “Jay, let me touch you” the grin he gave you was enough to make your knees weak “You want to touch me?” you nodded “Please?” his eyes closed for a moment before he released your hands. The moment they were free you started unbuttoning his shirt, lips finding his.

He grinned against your mouth when you shoved his shirt to the floor and let your hands explore his chest and back “Having fun there sweetheart?” you pulled him closer to you, moving from his lips to his neck, working at the spots that pulled small noises from his throat. His hands gripped your hips tightly as you teased the sensitive skin “Fuck baby, how far are you wanting this to go?”

You pulled back from his flesh and looked up at him before pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it down next to his. His tongue flicked out to wet his bottom lip “I don’t have a condom sweetheart” you grinned “I got an IUD back on my six week check up” his eyes widened “Ok then”

____________

You stumbled through the door of your bedroom, lips not leaving each other. Jay gripped your body tightly as you both tumbled to the mattress, his weight pushing you down into it. He looked down at you and smiled so damn sweetly as he pushed your hair out of your face “I love you” “I love you too Jay” you whispered.

He caught your lips in a bruising kiss and you felt his fingers slip under the waistband of your panties, teasing at your clit. When your hips bucked off the bed he chuckled lightly “Damn you’re sensitive” you glared up at him as best as you could give the position “Well it’s been how many months?” he let one thick finger sink into you, pulling a moan of his name from your lips “Too fucking long” he let another join that one, lips finding yours to swallow the moans falling from you.

You could feel that building inside of you and Jay knew you were close because he broke away from your lips to roll one of your nipples between his teeth “That’s it beautiful. Let me feel you come around my fingers” when he turned his wrist enough his thumb could brush against your clit your building orgasm slammed into you. Your vision went white around the edges as you came, thighs shaking lightly as he worked you through it, whispering in your ear how beautiful you looked and how much he loved you.

When you finally came down he pulled his fingers free and held your eyes as he licked them off, eyes closing “I need a taste sweetheart” before you could say anything he was repositioned between your legs, damn near in a kneeled position given his height, looking up at you. You laughed weakly “Jay Halstead on his knees. I could used to that”  he winked at you “For you? I’ll get on my knees any time, any where” then flicked his tongue across your clit, his laughter vibrating against you when you whimpered his name “Sound as beautiful as you are”

It didn’t take him long to have you a quivering mess under him. Your thighs shook around his head and you were fairly certain your orgasms had stacked on top of each other. “Jay, I can’t I fucking can’t” you begged. You couldn’t, you were too overstimulated and he was still working at you with his tongue. He pulled back and kissed you there once more before slowly working his way up your body, mouth mapping out every scar from your work and mark you had from growing his daughter along the way.

When he got to your lips he pressed a gentle kiss against them, letting you taste yourself “You ok darling?” you nodded “Please, I want you inside me” his forehead dropped to your chest “Dammit you’re gonna be the death of me” you felt him move to kick his boxers off before he was positioning himself between your legs, the head of his cock pressing at your entrance.

He looked up at your face “Are you sure? We can stop” you nodded “Please Jay? I love you” he swallowed hard “I love you” and slowly slid into you, a groan leaving you both at the feeling of the stretch.

He stilled once he was inside of you to let you adjust to him. Your hands smoothed down his shoulders as his lips kissed the hollow of your throat “Feel so damn good” he whispered. You tentatively moved your hips and when it didn’t hurt, instead felt so damn amazing your eyes nearly rolled back from such a small movement you whispered “You can move Jay”

He grinned against your skin as he gave a roll of his hips and your nails bit into his back “There she is” he groaned. You shifted your hips to hook your legs around his waist and his left hand moved to grip your right thigh tightly, his right hand supporting his weight as he found a rhythm that had that pleasure quickly building inside of you “Fuck Jay, right there” you moaned and he rolled his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flickering down to where he was burying himself into you.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted you for so damn long” he grunted, hips snapping into you. His eyes flew back up to yours “Do you know how fucking sexy you were pregnant with my child?” you couldn’t attempt to respond because his fingers found your clit, rubbing tight circles. Your orgasm slammed into you and you were fairly certain you squeezed his waist tight enough with your legs he may have bruises from them and knew he’d have marks from your nails.

He used the grip on your thigh to spread your legs a little further, burying himself a little deeper as his thrusts got sharper trying to find his own release. “Fuck Jay, please let me feel you” you begged and you could feel his grip on you tighten. He hit that spot deep inside of you and your eyes rolled back, another orgasm slamming into you without warning as you felt him give a final thrust before burying himself inside of you, his own release finally hitting him.

The two of you laid like that for a few minutes, working to get your breathing back to normal instead of like you’d just chased someone for seven blocks. He gently eased your legs down and looked up at you, an almost shy look gracing his face “Are you ok baby?” you nodded weakly “I am fuckin amazing”

He chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips before pulling out of you, apologizing when you hissed between your teeth at the feeling. You watched him walk to the bathroom and turned your head to admire the view, he glanced over his shoulder and shook his head.

He cleaned himself up then came back with a warm rag and gently spread your knees before cleaning you up. He tossed the rag in the dirty laundry in your bathroom then slipped his boxers on “I’m gonna grab you a water” you smiled at him “Will you stop being so damn good to me?” he shook his head “Never”

__________

After he made sure you drank something and found you a shirt to slip on, Jay crawled into bed next to you and pulled you over onto his chest. His fingers were under the shirt, drawing patterns on your thigh considering you had one thrown across his waist. “I meant what I said, the rest can be figured out” he spoke softly in the quiet room and you knew what he meant. You glanced up at him and felt your heart flip. You did love Mouse, you knew that but you were also in love with the man whose arms you were laying in.

“That’s a worry for tomorrow Jay,for tonight let me enjoy finally being as close to you as I want to be” the smile that slipped onto his face was nothing short of heavenly “I love you so damn much. I’ve been in love with you for months. I just didn’t want to scare you” you leaned up to catch his lips in a gentle kiss, feeling his hand grip your thigh gently “I’m sorry if I made you feel like you couldn’t tell me. Just know you made my pregnancy amazing just by being at my side and I love you so much Jay”

He grinned and squeezed your thigh again “I made it amazing?” you nodded “You really did, I don’t know how I would’ve made it this far without you” one of his hands came up to grip the back of your neck and hold your face in place “I promise you no matter what happens as long as I’m breathing you’ll have me in your corner” you shook your head “You’re too good of a man for me Jay” he pulled you into a kiss before saying “Quit saying stuff like that before I have to show you how amazing you are again”

You raised an eyebrow “That a threat or a promise?” his eyes roamed across your body before he laughed “A little bit of both”

You fell asleep curled up on your side with Jay tucked tightly around you. No matter how chaotic your heart and head was he slowed it down, he calmed it and made you feel safe. You knew he would protect your daughter until his last breath. You’d die for him and he’d die for you.

Did you still love Mouse? Yes but he wouldn’t be home until August, you’d face that part of your heart then and no matter the love you carried for Mouse it didn’t undermine the love you had for Jay, nor the love Jay had for you. You would face it head on.

@desimarie12

Part 18

@nevaehstreater18

@allisonargent144

[dead-boys-club]

†  monster : aventurine.

❥ scenario: arguments, of all things. ❥ tw: nothing that i can think of, there is flinching. ❥ half beta'd

❥ a/n: yes, i have gone off track from my normal requests. this is simply because doing only requests can cause serious writers burnout and i'm trying to combat that.

the argument started over something small, miniscule even, that normally wouldn't have even touched his nerves, let alone set him off. but tonight, everything felt different, the tension thick, almost suffocating, in the air. his patience was wearing thin and he couldn't figure out why, it didn't help that the person standing before him knew exactly how to push his buttons.

'you always do this!' they snapped, voice shaking with agitation. 'you hide before that ridiculous mask of yours, pretending to be someone.. something you're not. it's getting exhausting!'

aventurine's eyes narrowed, the usual flamboyant flair of his expression hardening into something darker. he could feel the edges of his temper fraying, the carefully constructed persona he wore for the world beginning to crack under the strain.

'and, what would you know about it?' he asked, voice laced with venom. 'you think you see me? you think you know me? the real me? you don't have a clue.'

the room seemed to shrink around them as the argument escalated, words like daggers, each one cutting deeper than the last. he knew it should have never gotten so far. the person he was arguing with wasn't backing down and he could see it was coming from their own frustration and hurt spilling over, but maybe it was something that needed to happen. if he needed to be verbally abused for one of the closest people he had to relax.. so be it.

'you're a coward, hiding behind some stupid act!' they yelled, voice rising, 'you're too scared to let anyone in, too scared to show who you are and those of us who are here.. it's tiring. you're just--'

their words cut off as aventurine took a step closer, his presence suddenly overwhelming. it wasn't about size of physicality, but something about him; there was something dangerous lurking just beneath the surface. something he had kept under wraps so well was creeping out.

they flinched, instinctively recoiling from him as if he'd reached to strike them. the movement was barely noticeable but it was enough. the sharp intake, the widened eyes - he saw all of it and it hit him like a punch to the gut.

the anger drained from him in an instant, his entire body freezing. he watched as they took another step back, their eyes now filled with something that cut deeper than any insult ever could.

fear.

and then the words came. words that would haunt him long after the fight was over.

'you're a monster.'

they said it so softly, so small. the silence that followed was deafening. aventurine could barely breathe, the weight of those words crushing him. for a moment, the mask slipped entirely, and the person before him saw something raw - the writhing, raw vulnerability that was buried far beneath the surface. but, it was fleeting, gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by the mask once more. because, they were right. he was hiding everything from the world; even this.

'you don't mean that,' he said, voice low and tight, no longer holding any anger; no conviction. he was shaken, and it was clear to both of them.

'maybe i do,' they answered, voice softer now, almost regretful. 'or maybe you just make it too easy to believe.'

with that, they turned and left, leaving aventurine along in the silence. he didn't move, didn't call after them - he couldn't. instead, he stood there, staring at the space they had occupied just moments before. the other of their words continued to ring in his ears.

a monster.

is this what i've become? a monster in the eyes of someone i care about? have i been so consumed by my duties, my responsibilities, that i've lost sigh of who i am?

i've always prided myself on being in control, in being disciplined. but what good is that discipline if it turns me into something others fear? i thought i was doing what was necessary, what was right. but.. maybe i've crossed a line. maybe i've become too much of what i never wanted to be.

but a monster...? is that really who i am? or is this just.. anger, hurt being used..?

he closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath as he tried to collect himself, not wanting to get so lost in his head. the mask was still in place but felt so much heavier. he wasn't sure how long he stood there, allowing the reality of what had happened to sink in.

because in that moment, as much as he wanted to deny it, he couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth in their words. was the mask he wore the only thing standing between him and the person they now feared?

that scared him more than anything else but maybe, they were right. maybe he was a monster. if that's what he needed to be for his goals.. he would, begrudgingly, accept the title. he didn't have a choice.

[staytinyville]

OUTLAW (41)

ATEEZ poly!ot8 x Reader

Cowboy AU / Wild West

Series Masterlist

Warning: none (No taglist next chapter)

A/N BETA READ (@mariana-mmtz). YOU GUYS! Sorry for not updating last thursday. I was on vacation so I wasn't really on here. But we are back to regularly scheduled updating. There are only 8 chapters left for Arc one by the way!

Staytinyville Permanent Taglist

There was something about the atmosphere that made everything feel tense. At least to your father it felt that way. He had patrons already waiting in the saloon for the afternoon, all talking in hushed whispers as they gossiped about something having to do with city hall. Your father frowned, opening the door to allow them all in for an afternoon drink.

“What's going on?” Your mother asked, watching as the men cheered about some things while others ordered drinks they normally wouldn’t. 

“I don't know.” Your father shrugged. “A lot of people started coming in all happy and talking about something that happened.”

“A miracle is what it was.” Someone overheard your parents, inserting themselves into the conversation. 

“It wasn't some miracle!” Someone else scoffed. “It was the work of the mayor! Always knew that Klein didn't do anything for selfish reasons.” He turned to your parents grin on his face as he thought about their precious mayor.

“You haven't heard? He returned all the money from the extra taxes he's been adding. At least to the less fortunate.” He explained. 

Your mother’s eyebrows rose, quickly pulling together as she thought about the small pouch she had found in the back office. Looking over at your father, she pulled him along. “Excuse me.” She said to the customers. 

“(F/N) where did we get all that extra cash from?” She quietly asked.

“I honestly don't know.” Your father shrugged. “It was just left in a bag in the mail.” He looked at the men who were talking. “Should I return it? We aren't in desperate need of it.”

“I think you should give it to the hospital. I'm sure they need it more.” Your mother spoke up after a moment.

Your father hummed a bit, thinking about how you were fairing. “Do you think (Y/N) needs it? Maybe we can give her money for her new home.” He told your mother. 

“Maybe just a little.” Your mother smiled softly. She suddenly frowned as she thought about where she would have to take the money though. “She never told us where she lived.”

“Maybe (S/N) knows.” Your father told her, causing her to nod. They went back to their work positions, your mother quickly finding your sister doing some laundry out back while you little brother watched.

“Do you know where (Y/N) and Yeosang live?” Your mother asked her, causing her to look up with wide eyes. “We were going to give them some money for their home.” 

Your sister didn’t really think your parents would approve of you living in tents in the middle of the woods. She kind of hoped you would have found something by then but knowing what it was the boys did she was sure you wouldn’t have a stable home for a while. At least not here in Cromer for the time being. 

“They live in the wood-”

“Some wooden cabin a bit ways from here.” She cut off your brother, wiping her hands off on her skirts. Glancing at the small pouch in her mother’s hands, she gave the woman a smile. “I can take it to them.”

“It's alright!” Your mother waved her off. “We'll all go.”

“No, mom really.” She shook her head again. “I should do it!”

Before they got the chance to argue more, commotion in the distance stopped them. A crowd was forming at the church they would go to every Sunday. It was at the end of the street, with a long driveway that doubled as a lawn where gatherings were held. 

“What's going on?” Your mother frowned, beginning to make her way over. 

Your siblings followed along, eyes casting over the mob that was taking up the church’s driveway. There were confused people as well as angry. The orphans who were being taken care of by the nuns were all huddled behind them, trying to hide from the people yelling. 

Some men had tried to reach the children, one succeeding in grabbing a hold of a little boy's arm. 

“Stop!” Your mother screamed. “Leave them alone!” She rushed forward and quickly shoved the man away. 

“Can't you see they're just children.” She screamed at him.

Your father had rushed forward, pulling your mother back to keep from having the aggressive man do something to her. Your eldest brother held back your siblings, trying to keep them from harm. It was clear where it was you got your heroic spirit from, your sense of justice coming out when there were people in need. 

“Children to criminals!” The man sneered. “They took our money to keep for themselves! All of them!” He screamed. 

A few of the people murmured to themselves over the speculation while less agreed with the man. Your father looked over the people who lived in the church, frowning his eyebrows as he took in the three nuns and 6 children. The father of the church made sure to huddle them all behind him, pulling the little boy who had gotten grabbed into his side. 

“They are children!” The father scoffed. “How dare you think that of them!?”

“They were found with the money taken from the vault.” Someone shouted out. “These nuns are not as innocent as they claim.”

“God will strike you down for the lies you tell.” One of the nuns yelled back. 

“And for your sins, sister?” They continued to argue. 

“Do not speak to her that way!” Your father walked over to the church people, sticking an arm out to defend them. 

“Where could they have possibly gotten all that money? It's an orphanage!” 

Some of the town’s police had turned up, moving people away from the crowd to come up at the front. Our sister noticed the sheriff hiding amongst the people, watching the arguments go down with a harsh stare. She furrowed her eyebrows, before turning to look at her dad.

“And where did you get it? Cheating your way through gambling?” Your father sneered back, looking at the man with a harsh glare. 

“They're probably hanging around the wrong kind of people. Probably have to do with those boys working at your hotel.” The man retorted, turning everyone’s attention onto your family. 

They began to murmur again, this time the sheriff looking at your father with an upturned nose. Your sister swallowed her spit to relieve the dryness in her throat. She had a bad feeling about all of this and had no idea how to solve it. The only one she thought of was you. 

“I hear they are friends with those officers from the capital. They're probably crooked cops.” The man continued.

“That is my son in law you're talking about.” Your father looked angry, walking up chest to chest with the man. “You better watch yourself.” He added.

“You defending them?” He asked your father. “Don't tell me you're involved.” He scoffed. 

“I wouldn't open my mouth if I were you. I know things that can ruin you.” Your father threatened. 

“Threatening me now?” He huffed. The man turned around to face the crowd, eyes catching sight of the sheriff. They gave each other nods of their heads, understanding where things were gonna go.

“We'll see how that ends for you, (L/N).” He told your father. 

Your father gave the sheriff a look before calmly walking over to your siblings and mother. Your mother pulled him into a tight hug. As your sister watched the sheriff talk with the man who was arguing, she turned to look at her parents. 

“Dad.” Your sister called out, her tone full of worry.

“Give all the money to (Y/N).” He whispered over your mom’s shoulder and towards your sister. “She'll know where to hide it.”

Series Masterlist

@thefrog3223 , @iarayara , @0rangemilk , @explorewithd , @detectivedoodle , @bangtanxberm , @a1i33a , @loveforred , @drunken-deitence , @0325tiny , @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest , @atinyreads , @atinytinaa , @lexiigom , @smilingtokki , @mismatchfluffysocks , @brain-empty-only-draken , @sousydive , @alex-tinyy , @h3arteyes4mingi , @onedumbho3 , @popcatx0 , @blue1amory , @mommahwa1117 , @sunnyhokyu , @cloudieclair , @puppyminnnie

[starz222]

alhaitham — mahal kita

synopsis your group project takes a weird turn

contains fluff. translations are in parenthesis. not proofread. modern au

notes this lowkey short but this has been on my mind for so long

you were assigned a group project by your teacher on the cultures of various nations. it was just a matter of going to see them since there were 3 people in each group and you were placed with the other two who shared a dormitory. 

you walked over to alhaitham and kaveh's shared dorm after getting dressed comfortably for your project. as soon as you open the door, you’re welcomed with an apartment that combines two distinct styles and aesthetics.  it was a perfect representation of alhaitham and kaveh, they both stood out but clashed with one another.

“oh, you’re here.” al haitham walks into the living room wearing his pajamas. his gray hair is messy and his shirt is unaligned. “i told you they’d get here early!” kaveh shouts from their kitchen, “y/n, do you want some coffee? and i’d like to apologize on my roommate’s behalf.” he scoffs and rolls his eyes at al haitham. “sure, thank you, kaveh!” you take the cup of coffee from his hand at sit at the table.

“look at him, cutting our time shorter!” kaveh huffs, “what do you mean? i’m right here aren’t i?” his roommate speaks from behind. “can we just get done with this already?” al haitham takes the seat next to you. you begin to discuss the project with the two of them. you talk about how you can format the project and what else you should add, and speaking of cultures, you bring up an important factor in culture.

“i don’t speak that many languages,” you say, “but you speak lots of different languages, right?” you turn to al haitham, and in response he nods. you ask, "can you say something in one of the languages you know?” 

“alright”, he accepts your request. “mahal kita, y/n. gustong-gusto kita, kaya ako nalang yung dapat piliin mo.” (i love you, y/n. i really really like you, that’s why i’m the one you should choose.)

kaveh spits out the coffee he’s been drinking and looks at al haitham like he’s gone mad. what did you just say? he speaks with his eyes and his shocked look. “why? what’d he say?” you turn to kaveh, the two of them weren’t even hiding how they were practically having a conversation about what he said in front of your face. “he said that—” kaveh stops once he locks eyes with his roommate. those eyes looked like they were hungry for blood! at least, that’s how kaveh interprets it.

“nevermind– he just swore at me in tagalog..” kaveh sulks and looks away, wiping the coffee from the corners of his lips. “yeah, you’re an ass sometimes.” al haitham crosses his arms. oh, this bitch is really going to insult me? two people can play that game. he leans in and whispers in your ear, “he said that he really likes you.” and leans back to take a look at your expression. you argue, “that’s not true. he would never—”

“it’s true.” al haitham cuts you off. “i do like you. kahit di mo ko mahal, mamahalin pa rin kita hanggang kailanman." ( even if you don't love me, i'll still love you forever.)

-

truth be told, the only reason why al haitham looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep was because he didn’t. he couldn’t go to sleep as his mind filled him with a mix of emotions hitting him everywhere all at once. worry, anxiety, anticipation, happiness, you name it. he hoped that kaveh would be able to lighten the mood and make him less awkward around you than he already is. he barely got any sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about you. 

when he saw you just standing there in his home, he rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. he refocuses his gaze on you, and fuck, you’re not his imagination. lucky enough his roommate helped him escape unknowingly. but then again, brought him to confess his feelings to you.

-

“....mahal din kita?” (i love you too) your entire face heats up, you look at kaveh. “did i say it right?” he’s just staring at the two of you with his mouth agape, “will he be okay?” you ask al haitham. “just give him a few seconds.”

he slams his hands on the table, “what the fuck just happened. i’ve been sitting here the entire time?!”