#mouse gerwitz x reader

[adarafaelbarba]

We're gonna close the curtains

"Greg--Come back to bed, it's still dark outside", you said sleepily as you curled up under the duvet. "Just give me a moment my love, just gonna close the curtains." You'd both forgotten them in the heat of the moment from the night before. And it wasn't the first time. When the two of you were together, especially after one or both had come back from overseas, it was a rush to get together and relieve the good moments, as well as take away the pain of what you'd both seen. "It's so cold here without you." He could barely hear you with how muffled your voice was in the duvet, but he smiled softly none the less and cuddled up close to you. "I'm here my love, and I'm not going anywhere."

Tagging:

@bullet-prooflove @crazy4chickennuggets

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[bullet-prooflove]

I know too well how, it feels when you fall

Companion piece to How Long Have You Been Hiding This

Greg finds you in the bedroom, sitting on the bed reading a children’s book to your baby bump. You’re seven months pregnant at this point and glowing. Every day his daughter grows stronger and everyday he thanks God for bringing the two of you into his life.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”  You say softly, flicking over the next page of the book and Greg sighs as he leans in the doorway.

“We should.” He says quietly as he steps into the room. “Your ex gets released on parole next week.”

You’d gotten the letter this morning, you hadn’t even tried to hide it this time. You’d just left it on the table before you went to work for him to read because even now you still can’t process the possibility if that monster being in your orbit. Your hand smooths over the baby bump sadly.

“I lost one before.” You find yourself telling him. “I was four months pregnant when he shoved me down a flight of stairs. That was his own child, his baby, he’ll have no problem trying to hurt this one.”

“Charlie.” Greg murmurs as he sits down on the bed alongside of you. “I won’t let that happen and neither will you…”

“I can’t be here Greg.” You tell him, your eyes stinging. “I can’t be in this city if he’s here too.”

“Baby,” He whispers, clasping your face between his hands.  “You don’t mean that.”

“I do you.” You tell him, gesturing at the packed suitcase propped up alongside the dresser. “The only reason I stayed was to say goodbye.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

Tagging: @@kimm4710 @k-k0129 @enchantedblackrose @thebejeweledwatercat @shakespeareanwannabe @anime-weeb-4-life @witches-unruly-heart @infinity-mars @elizabeththebat @kmc1989

[chaotic-noceur]

OOPS

summary: university AU where Greg is a coding genius and reader is decidedly NOT cut out for coding, but stuck in a coding class. Greg helps out where he can. Frustration and fluff ensues.

pairing: Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz x Reader

warnings: sitting on the floor, Princess as a pet name, not proof read

authors note: listen, i'm just trying to not have a break down over this stupid coding assignment and I just want Greg to come tell me it's gonna be okay and walk me through it T_T

When you'd first told him about the programming course you were taking (a course he'd taken a couple semesters ago), he'd gone ahead and dug out the little notes that he had taken for the course. Unfortunately for you, he was more of a learn-by-doing guy than a notetaking guy. He'd offered to help you whenever you needed it though. So here he was, sitting on your living room floor as you worked away on your assignment while he listened to a podcast for his research.

He's spinning his stylus in one hand, as he fidgets with the string of his hoodie with the other. Greg slides his headphones off as the rapid clicking of the backspace key catches his attention. He raises an eyebrow at you in question as you turn to meet his gaze.

"The instructions don't make sense. My code won't compile. The error message isn't helpful." You bury your head into your hands. "I don't know what I'm doing," you mumble into your hands.

Greg chuckles lightly and you pick your head up as he shifts his iPad across the table to make space for your laptop. He slings his arm across your shoulder as he asks, "what are you working on?"

"If I knew the answer to that, my day would be going a lot better." He cracks one of his lopsided smiles at your response before turning his attention to the open files on your screen. He takes a few minutes to skim through the assignment instructions before scrolling through your coding file.

"Alright. I'll be your rubber duck," he offers., turning slightly to face you again. "Walk me through what you understand and what you're trying to do." He feels you tense against his arm and he tags on a gentle "hey, it'll be alright. We'll take it one line at a time. You don't have to be right, we'll figure it out together. Okay?" There's still a hint of uncertainty in your eyes, but you nod your head regardless.

The next few hours are spent with him bouncing between browsing papers for his research and talking through your assignment. By the time you finally call it quits for the night, he'd switched out his reading material from research papers to the book he'd borrowed from his professor a few days ago, 'just for fun'.

"I hate it," you mumble as you stare up at your ceiling. You're laying with your head in Greg's lap. He's drawing shapes along your arm absentmindedly as he reads.

"I know," he replies sympathetically, attention still on the book in his other hand.

After a period of silence, he glances down to check if you're asleep when you whisper out a "I'm sorry..."

"Why are you apologising?" You shrug as you sit up, busying yourself with fluffing your pillow. Greg puts his book down. "What's the matter?"

"It's silly..." he turns to face you fully so you know that you have his undivided attention; and that he wasn't going to drop this. You inhale deeply. "I just hate that I hate it, y'know? That it doesn't click with me the same way it clicks for you. I just wish I could enjoy it as much as you do. But all it does is make me feel like an idiot..." And Greg feels his heart break a little at your admission.

You hadn't taken this class because of him, he knows that. You'd taken it because you had to, per faculty requirements. And he'd be lying if he said there wasn't a part of him that wanted you to find joy in coding. But he also understands that it's not for everyone.

"Listen to me," he cups your cheek to bring your eyes to meet his. "Writing code isn't meant for everyone. It's okay that it isn't meant for you. I'm not gonna love you any less just because it took you 10 tries to get your return function to work." He cracks a smile so you know he's just teasing and you pull a face. He chuckles before continuing, shifting closer to you in the process. "Just because coding isn't your strong suit, doesn't mean you aren't the smartest person I know. I loved you before I signed up to be your rubber duck, and I'll continue loving you after, for as long as you'll have me."

"You promise?"

"I promise, Princess." He kisses your forehead and lingers there for a moment, throwing his arms around you when he feels you sink into him. You stay like that for a while, cherishing the small moments of calm in the midst of the academic chaos.

"Hey, Greg?" He hums in acknowledgement. "I love you too."

[saragarnier]

Away from you

Pairing: jay halstead x reader

Summary: y/n doesn’t know where Jay truly is and she got worried

Warning: angst, slightly smut, cheating,

A/N: i will probably write a part 2, stay tuned!

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

Next part

You and Jay had been together for three years and everything looked good, at least it was ‘till the end of the march. You didn’t know or understand why he changed his behavior when he was with you, especially since it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly that you just couldn’t understand what happened between you two. From one day, he just started to behave differently, coming home later and telling you that he was just too busy at work, doing some paperwork and getting his things ready for the next shift. He made it looked like he was just trying to impress Voight and for a moment you actually believed him.

You knew how much he wanted to become, one day, sergeant and to be on the lead of his own unit and you just wanted to support him in any ways you could; if he wanted to make a good impression in case of a new sergeant, you wouldn’t have stop him. Actually, it looked like Voight was having some issues lately, from how Jay talked about him after work anyway, and you really trusted him and believed him about his story.

Then, one evening, you decided to go talk with Kim, having some times together and trying to explain to her what you had in mind: Jay’s birthday was closer than you thought and you had to find a good gift for him.

“I need you to help me.” You said to Kim, smiling softly. “Jay’s birthday is in two weeks and i want to surprise him with a two-days holiday. I know that he spends a lot of time at the district doing his paperwork and trying to make a good impression in case of a promotion, but i really need your help. Can you please find a good reason to get him home earlier on Friday’s night?”

Kim was surprised by your statement, not because of the surprise you were preparing for him, but for what you said about him staying at the district till late.

“What do you mean that he spends a lot of time at the district to make a good impression? He always leaves before me, actually he arrives earlier to complete the paperwork he usually leaves at the end of the shift.”

You were confused, you were really confused. What did that mean? If he usually left the district early in the evening, why he came home every night after 11 pm, when you were already sleeping?

“Uhm… he usually doesn’t come home before 11 pm.” You whispered, looking at Kim while your mind raced through all the nights you waited for him to come back home, before falling asleep because of the tiredness of the day at work.

“Y/n, i swear to God that he usually leaves at 7 pm, 8 pm if we’re up to something ‘till late.” Kim said, looking sadly at you, while something you didn’t want to admit passed through her mind.

“But… it doesn’t make sense.” You replied, shaking your head slightly. “What does he do between 7 pm and 11 pm then?”

The girl just shook his head, looking ad you sadly and placing her hand on yours, trying to reassure you in some ways. “Maybe it’s not something you have to worry about, maybe it’s just some stuff he had to do or, maybe, it’s just a bad moment for him. I remember he was like this when he suffered from PTSD.”

You nodded, but it didn’t make sense anyway. You remembered when Jay suffered from PTSD because you were always by his side, you were always there for him and you followed him step after step, trying to help him find his way out of it. It couldn’t be PTSD that time, you would have noticed immediately.

He wasn’t distressed like he was when he suffered from it, he was actually really happy and he was usually calm when he came back home.

It could be PTSD, but what was it then?”

“Sorry Kim, i have to go.” You whispered, looking at your phone and finding out it was just 9:30 pm; you had still plenty of time before he could have been home and you wanted to find out what was happening with your boyfriend, actually with your future husband.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s okay.” Kim whispered, smiling at you. “We’ll see each other soon, okay? Maybe you can come at the district one day and we can talk a little? Also Adam and Kevin missed you, you know. With all the preparations of the wedding, we didn’t see you around in a while.”

“Yeah, when i’m not at work at the hospital, i’m around the city trying some white dresses.” You sighed, wearing your jacket and placing some money on the table, paying for your own drink.

“I can imagine that. Don’t worry, really. I hope to see you again soon.” She smiled softly at you.

“I hope that too. Bye Kim, goodnight.”

You left the bar just ten minutes after and you immediately called the one and only that could have tracked Jay’s phone without a word: Mouse.

When he came back from the army, for the second time, you knew that it would have been difficult for him to start a new life again, especially after the first time. Jay helped him and, after some weeks in which he tried to convince him every single day, Mouse accepted to come back at the intelligence as a tech. It wasn’t an easy decision for him and it was strange at first, but he knew he had no better option and working with his friend was something he missed a lot.

He picked up the phone after the second ring.

“Hi! Look who showed up!” He smiled and laughed. “I was actually asking myself when you would have called me to give me the official invite to your wedding, you know? I would have asked Jay, but he i’m pretty sure is not as much involved in the preparations as you are, so…”

“Mouse, i need your favor.” You told him straight away. “I can’t find Jay and I’m worried. Can you please track his phone and tell where he is? And, can you do that without anyone knowing it?”

It was a strange request, especially since it went from you, but Mouse got it immediately and he started to track Jay’s phone straight away. He was actually scared for his friend, he was scared that Jay got into real trouble, maybe with the ptsd or something liked that, but there was no time for questions. He tracked his phone and he gave her the address after only three minutes.

“Thank you, Mouse. Sorry if i interrupted your evening. I have to go now and, don’t worry, I’ll handle the invite in person, okay?” You said, getting inside the car while looking at the address Mouse gave to you. It could be true, why was he there?

“Don’t worry, no problem at all. I’ll leave you now, i guess you’re busy… just, tell me if anything happened to him, okay?” He replied, making sure that everything was okay, making sure that you would have called him in case of trouble.

“I will, thanks Mouse.”

When he hung up, you started the car and you drove to the location he sent you; why the hell was Jay at his old apartment? Didn’t he sell it?

When you arrived at the location, you parked the car and you got out as soon as you could, going up the stairs and reaching his door just few minutes after. Fortunately, you still knew where he used to hide the key and you went for it, opening the door as silently as you could. The first thing you noticed when you entered was the emptiness of the room: there was nothing there other than some furnishings and still you didn’t understand why Jay was there.

Then, you noticed it.

Then, you noticed them: heels and they weren’t yours.

Your mouth became dry and you stopped breathing properly, trying to find an explanation for what you were seeing. You took some steps forward and your eyes fell on the jeans and t-shirts that were on the floor, all the way up to what it was Jay’s bedroom before he moved out. You took the hallway, starting to hear voices, moans you didn’t want to hear, moans you just wanted to be from your neighbors, even if you knew that they were elderly and it couldn’t have been them. Just at the front of the door, you saw them: panties and Jay’s boxer.

Your brain stopped working, you stopped breathing and your heart almost stopped beating; you just couldn’t understand what was happing, you couldn’t believed it.

You zoned out, like you couldn’t have been there, like you were just in a dream, a bad dream, a really bad one, then you came back to reality when you actually saw and hear them.

“Oh, Jay.” She moaned, begging him. “Please, faster.”

Hailey.

Jay’s partner.

“God, Hails…” Your boyfriend moaned, lowering himself on her to kiss her breast while fucking her. “I… shit… you feel so good around me.”

“Oh, J-Jay!” She moaned louder, unaware of your presence on the frame of the door, where you were watching them, without breathing.

Jay took Hailey’s legs and he put it on his own shoulder, increasing the pace.

“Yes, cum around me, baby. Cum for me, i love you.”

Surprisingly. It wasn’t watching him fucking her that destroyed you: it was his last three words, the same three words he said to you every morning before going to work, the same three words he said to you on the phone when he was to busy at work to come home, even if he was actually heading to his old apartment, when he was able to fuck his partner whenever he wanted to.

You stepped back silently, to broken to face the truth, to heart broken to face him.

You stepped back and you left without saying a word, without make noise; you went back inside your car and only then, when Hailey’s and Jay’s moans were far away from you, you started breathing again.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks from minutes probably, but you couldn’t notice it before and you were to shocked to dry off your tears: you just wanted to add as many distance as you could between you and the man you thought was the love of your life.

You didn’t even went back to your apartment, you couldn’t have handle being again in the house that would have been yours,the house in which you hoped you would have started a family with Jay. You didn’t go back to your apartment to collect all your belongings, you just left.

You left a message to your boss’ office regarding your resignation and you drove away.

Away from Jay.

Away from your apartment.

Away from the life you dreamed of with him.

Away from the love.

Away from the pain.

Away from Chicago.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz (ft platonic!Jay Halstead): Not The Pizza Guy 

You swung the door open money in hand and paused at the man in front of you. “You're not the pizza guy.” He was leaning on the doorframe, his jacket damp from the night rain. His face, which had been furrowed in worry, was now caught between shock and disbelief. Your eyes fall to the badge clipped on his hip. You had thought that knock was a little loud and on the cop side. A smile comes to your lips, “You must be Jay,” 

“Yeah, I must be.” He agreed. You nodded at him and gestured into the apartment.  

“Did you want to come in? Greg is just in the shower.” It is strange for Jay to hear Mouse’s legal name. It’s even stranger to see you standing in front of him, all smiles, dressed in one of Mouse’s Star Wars sweatshirts and little else. You don’t wait for him to answer as you head back in. Jay hesitated before following you in and closing the door behind him. The living room was empty. Jay barely sees your ponytail rounding the corner as you call out Mouse’s name.  

Jay feels out of sorts. He had come over because he had been worried about his friend. It seemed like Mouse was falling back into old bad habits. He was blowing off team outings, constantly distracted by his phone, and had seemingly been in his own world. Jay's first and only thought had been that his friend was struggling with PTSD. He had feared that Mouse may have been slipping back into his former drug use. He had come intent on doing an intervention if need be. He had been planning what he would say, the options he had found, and even prepared to move Mouse in with him if he needed the extra support.  

Now he wasn’t sure how to respond. 

Mouse rounds the corner in sweats, toweling off his hair. He had clearly been alerted to Jay’s arrival. He had the grace to look guilty. “Hey buddy,” You walked back in now sporting a pair of black leggings under Mouse’s hoodie. There is a moment of quiet before another knock sounds at the door again. 

“Now that’s got to be the pizza.” You turn on your heel walking between the boys to head for the door.  

“Baby, for the sake of my peace of mind, please check who it is before you open the door this time. This is Chicago, not your small town.” You look back at your boyfriend smiling contritely. 

“Yeah, right, sorry.” They watched you head to the door. There is a brief pause and then, “You're not a murderer, right? You’re just the pizza guy?” Mouse rubs his hands over his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.  

“Her lack of self-preservation is going to take years off my life.”  

Before Jay can ask Mouse anything, you come back into the room with the pizza and a stack of paper plates. You give one to Mouse and then offer another to Jay. Soon you are all sitting in the living room eating pizza and the ball game is on the TV. Jay can’t focus on it and instead spends his time analyzing you and his old war buddy. Jay watches as Mouse throws his arm across the back of the couch and you lean into his side. You place a napkin on his leg, and he smiles down at you. There is a lightness in his friend, a warmth, a happiness that Jay hasn’t seen in a long time. He feels ridiculous for being so off base with how his friend was doing. 

And so fucking grateful he was wrong. 

Jay lingered after everyone had finished the food. You offer to make a pot of coffee and the boys accept. Mouse watches as you disappear into the kitchen. “She seems like a nice girl.” Mouse’s lips form an unconscious smile. 

“She is.” 

“Why didn’t you just tell me man? I was worried about you.” Mouse rubs the back of his neck scratching gently. He lifts his eyes from where they had been trained on the floor. 

“I know, I’m sorry. It was selfish but I just wanted to keep her to myself for a while. She’s so innocent. Untouched by the dark side of humanity.” Jay can see the struggle in Mouse’s eyes. The self-doubt and question of if he was worthy of something good.

Someone good.

Jay had seen it many times looking back at him in the mirror. “Her parents are still together, from a small town- never even locked her front door before she moved to Chicago- can you believe that? And she just-” Mouse threw his hands up as if he was trying to get a grasp on his own good fortune, “She walked into a cafe and right into my life. Just like that. Just like that man. I can’t even believe it. She's not anything like what I would have picked for myself.” Mouse chuckles, “She is so technologically challenged, it’s insane. I thought you guys at the precinct were bad, but it is nothing compared to her. And I can’t help but find it strangely adorable.” 

Jay put a hand on Mouse’s shoulder, squeezing it. “I’m happy for you buddy, really, I am. You deserve it. But you can’t hide her away forever. And everybody is going to want to meet her.” 

“I know.”

You come in holding a cup of coffee in each hand and creamer, and sugar tucked under your arm. You offer the cups to both men. “I didn’t know how you took your coffee.” You say in explanation and Jay looks amused as he takes the sugar from your arm and pours some into his cup. 

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Mouse takes a drink of his already doctored-up coffee. He meets eyes with Jay before taking a deep breath. “Hey, the intelligence team is getting together at Molly’s tomorrow night...Do you want to go? Meet everyone.” You smile brightly pressing a kiss to Mouse's cheek. 

“I’d love to meet your family.”              

[dandelionfairyyy]

Messy G. G.

Summary: just two lost souls finally finding peace in each others company

Pairing: Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz x fem!reader

Wordcount: 7,193 (I’m sorry 😭)

Triggerwaning: 16+ because of slight mention of: blood, torture, GSWs, panic attacks, use of drugs, underweight, mental struggle, trauma and death as well as explicit described sexual acts and possible incorrect description of certain things/feelings and possible writing mistakes

A/N: this piece turned out longer than I expected but I hope you still like it. And as a disclaimer or something: just to make it clear, I didn’t experienced any of this so I apologize for incorrect descriptions.

Red-stained water flows from your hands as you look at yourself in the mirror. Your face bears more stains and you have to close your eyes for a moment and breathe deeply to push back the memory as you continue to wash the red from your skin.

It's like dejà vu. Every time you clean up after painting, you feel transported back to the night three months ago.

There was red everywhere, as if one of your colours had tipped over, but your Ma had been clear when she had forbidden you to paint in the living room. And you had kept to it.

Your gaze wandered through the room of chaos and your breath was taken away when you spotted someone.

"Dad!"

You go down on your knees in front of him, pressing your hands on the gunshot wound in his chest from which blood was still running. Tears now ran down your cheeks as you remembered your mum and siblings.

"Where's Ma? And Olivia? And Wesley? Dad!"

Your dad made a strained groan and mumbled something. You moved your ear closer to his mouth and heard, "They took her... They wanted... Documents... Ma doesn't know anything about it... Bank... 273B..." You couldn't make sense of it, to you it all sounded like the confused ramblings of a dying man, but soon you realised that he was actually serious.

Agitated, you wash the red colour and salty tears from your cheeks. Your hands clench around the ceramics of your sink in an attempt to push back the panic attack.

They cannot hurt you. They cannot hurt you.

They know nothing about you...

With shaky hands, you open the small medicine compartment next to the mirror.

Shit!

You had smoked the last one the day before yesterday... frustrated, you slam the door again and grab your fanny pack with your money before heading to your new friend Johnny. The shivering slowly subsides. The cold winter air seems to help.

"Hey Sugar," he greets you with his typical flirty smirk.

"Quit it. I'm not in the mood. I need another five...'

Johnny looks at you with a raised eyebrow. "When we met you didn't want to know anything about the drugs and now you're one of my most loyal customers? What the hell happened to you?"

"Let's not talk about it," you suggest and take a few dollar notes out of your pocket.

Johnny presses the little bag into your hand and takes the money from you. "Hey, if you ever need something stronger, let me know."

"Don't give me any ideas."

Johnny playfully raises his hands defensively. "Just an offer." He looks at you again with concern. You've known each other for a few years now, travelled in the same circles and he's taken you to his heart. But you've only really had closer contact since the incident. That's why he was worried about you now. You hadn't told him what happened, you'd just asked him three months ago for something to quiet the mind and let you sleep. "Sugar, there's a party at one of my boys' on Friday night. Do you want to come?"

"I'll think about it." With those words, you turn around and make your way back to your little flat. Your flat... It belonged to your parents. It was bought as an investment at the time. Along with two others. For you and your siblings, should you want to move out. Now you have three flats and a house, as well as a flourishing family business worth millions, and you don't know what to do with it. And that's just what you know.

When you check the letterbox, there is another letter from your family's lawyer. You know what it says. That you should accept or reject the inheritance listed. That you have to take care of so many things you never wanted to worry about...

Closing the flat door with one foot, you make your way to the couch.

It doesn't take long and you have your "medicine" in stock again and you reach for the lighter on the small table.

The herbal taste spreads through your mouth after the first hit. After the third, you finally start to feel the marijuana. The comforting blanket wraps around your thoughts and they finally quiet down. The traumatic images from three months ago blur into a simple mist in your mind and you breathe a sigh of relief.

Knowing that hunger will soon set in, you make your way to the kitchen with the joint between your lips and take a look in the fridge.

Margarita, your parents' housekeeper, who is now looking after you, has put something in the fridge for you. Reading the little message lying next to it, you start to heat it up in the pan.

Because I know you won't cook anything anyway, I took the liberty of preparing something for you. You really should eat more, child.

You smirk.

Margarita has been working for your family for more than twenty years, taking care of the household and you and your siblings as children. Now there is only you left for her to take care of. You take another drag and these thoughts also fall completely silent.

Instead, you focus on the food.

Margarita's food was always incredible, but with the effect of the marijuana it is even better. Smiling contentedly, you eat in complete silence before fatigue sets in soon after.

Yawning, you plod barefoot from the kitchen back to the couch.

Next to the pillow lies the little sheep that you have had as a cuddly toy since birth. If someone asked you, you would deny that you still sleep with a cuddly toy, but since what happened three months ago, the little sheep has given you comfort when no one else could.

You lovingly hug the fluffy thing to you and finally close your eyes to fall asleep shortly afterwards.

Your flat actually consists of three rooms. A bedroom, a study and a living room.

But two of the three rooms are empty. The walls are bare and there is not a single piece of furniture in them. Only in the living room is a couch where you sleep and a table next to it. Otherwise, the boxes that Margarita packed for you from the house are standing around. You haven't even opened most of them. Everything in them reminds you of something that is no longer there.

Friday morning you finally stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself. You have lost a lot of weight after the incident, but thanks to Margarita, who forced you to eat more in the beginning, your clothes start to fit again.

You no longer wear your belts in the last hole, your T-shirts no longer hang down like sacks. Your hair looks fuller and healthier again.

Maybe you should make a change?

After a moment's thought, you call Margarita. And only thirty minutes later she is standing in front of your flat with hair dye.

"Are you sure, dear?" she asks in her Russian accent for the third time and lowers the scissors again. "Your beautiful hair..." When you were little, she made you pigtails every morning. Sometimes one, sometimes two. Sometimes braided, sometimes not. And every day she admired your full and soft hair.

By now you can do most of the braids on your own. But in the last few months you have neglected yourself. This is also noticeable in your hair.

"Yes, Margarita. I'm sure of it. And don't worry. It will grow back anyway..." you reply with a grin and watch as she takes a strand of your hair, applies the scissors and squints. You hear the sound of the scissors cutting through your hair. There is no turning back now.

Three hours later, you're standing in front of the mirror again and looking at your new hairstyle.

The dark brown has turned into a light blonde and your hair is much shorter. Before it almost reached your bottom, now it doesn't even reach your shoulder. The end just hovers over it. You didn't know how heavy hair can actually be.

"Wow...", you say and run your fingers through your new hair. You part your hair in the middle, make a side parting, and finally bites your lower lip with an admiring smile.

"You look great, love," she confirms to you and as you turn to thank her, she sees for the first time the glow in your eyes again for three months.

She hopes so much that you will slowly get back on your feet. You are like a daughter to her. She has watched you grow up and looked after you when your parents were busy again. So it hurts her heart every time to see you the way you are. You are lost. Lost in a world where you don't belong, where you never wanted to belong.

How she would love to take this burden off your shoulders, but she could not. All she can do is stand by your side and help when it is needed. But first you have to find your footing again.

After another look in the mirror, you decide to go to that party Johnny invited you to. While Margarita tidies up the flat again, you carelessly go through the boxes of expensive clothes.

Finally, you're back in front of the mirror in a pair of ripped jeans and a crop top. You look at yourself with a smile.

"You look like an angel," Margarita says as she leans against the doorframe, watching you.

You would not describe yourself as an angel, but as beautiful.

It has been a long time since you felt yourself to be beautiful. You see in the eyes of your old friend and housekeeper the hope that you wanted to feel so much. You no longer want to be this wreck, this shadow of yourself. But you are now in this new world where you never wanted to belong. And you don't know how to find your footing in it.

Shaking your head, you push the thoughts aside and thank Margarita again with a kiss on the cheek. You still ask her for one last favour, because you have to get to the party somehow.

"Sugar, what a surprise. I didn't expect to see you." "Well, if you want, I can leave again..." you joke.

Johnny smiles and grabs your hand to pull you into the house and his arms. "You look hot by the way", he whispers in your ear and places a kiss on your temple.

"Whatever," you dismiss the compliment with a little laugh and let yourself join the group of other partygoers.

"Hey guys, this is Y/N," Johnny introduces you and drops onto one of the couches. He pulls you with him onto his lap.

"You wish, Johnny. Keep your hands off. I am your customer, not your girlfriend, Sugar." You emphasise the pet name, which he always uses for you, especially.

"Worth a try, isn't it?"

You let your gaze wander around the room. Apart from Johnny, there are four other men sitting in the room. spread out the couches. "You call this a party? Or is this just the warm-up round?" you finally ask.

"I didn't know if you'd really come and how much of a party animal you are." Had he really done that just for you?

"Since when do you care how I am?" you ask him, poking him in the side.

"Some people I just like to take care of.

You look at him with raised eyebrows and don't respond further to his comment. Instead you say, "You didn't answer my question?"

"Hey Timothy, send out a message that there's a party here at short notice," Johnny gives to one of the other guests.

"You got it, boss."

"You'll have your party in an hour," Johnny promises and you smile. He leans forward a little and finally presses his lips to yours. You allow it for a few seconds before you release and place a finger on his lips, shaking your head.

"Nice try." You turn away from him and disappear into the bathroom.

A few deep breaths, a little water over your forearms and you're all better.

When you come back, you don't sit down next to Johnny again, but on the sofa opposite him. You need some space between you and him.

You like Johnny, he's a good friend, you can count on him, but he wants something from you. He makes no secret of it, but he doesn't understand that you don't want anything from him.

Now you are sitting next to a lanky young man, about your age, maybe a little older. With your back against the armrest, you casually put your legs diagonally across his, eliciting an overwhelmed "oh... okay" from him before you say, "Johnny didn't introduce us. I'm Y/N." You reach out your hand to him.

He takes it and introduces himself as "Mouse". You look at him in amazement. "Mouse?"

"Actually it's Greg, Mouse is a ridiculous nickname, but I've come to terms with it. Nice to meet you, Y/N."

"Nice to meet you too."

As Johnny promised, less than an hour later there was a party going on in the house. Music booms muffled from the big room into the smaller one where you are still sitting on the couch with Mouse. He's thawed out enough by now that he had his hands on your thighs to keep your legs from sliding down.

You feel Johnny's jealous gaze on you, but try to ignore it as much as possible.

"Hey Mouse. Are you also part of Johnny's business?" you finally ask curiously. To be honest, he doesn't really look like a dealer, more like a customer.

"I would rather say business partner.”

You look at him curiously.

"He introduces me to people who I then work for. I'm a computer crack."

"Oh. That's cool. I don't have anything to do with it. I'm totally incompetent at it. My talents lie elsewhere."

"It's not that hard. What do you do?"

"Y/N has divine hands...", Johnny comments and one of the men laughs quietly in the background.

"You bet," you hear and roll your eyes. Thanks to a former girlfriend, you now have that reputation gone...

"So I'm an artist," you clarify. "Johnny also introduces me to people I work for. I've painted one or two forgeries of famous works of art. There's even one hanging in the museum here in Chicago." You wink at him with a proud grin. "But most of the works are my own."

"Are you selling them?"

"Some. I was organising an exhibition where I could sell the works. Sort of a silent auction." You shrug your shoulders as if to dismiss the subject.

"What happened to that?"

"Something's come up," you dodge the question and instead reach for his beer bottle to take a sip of it.

As soon as the tingling liquid hits your taste buds, you contort your face.

"Yuck. How can you drink that. That's super disgusting."

Mouse laughs and takes the bottle from you again to drink a sip from it himself.

For the rest of the evening you talk about different things. It feels easy with him, like you can finally be you again. As if you had found an anchor to swim back to the surface. But you push back the budding sense of security. People come and go all the time. You've had to learn that the hard way. And they always want something from you.

"Hey, what's with the sad face all of a sudden?" asks Mouse in a soft voice, lifting your head with his index finger under your chin until you look at him. You have the feeling that he is really interested in your answer. It has been a long time since a person was really interested in you. So far, they've all wanted something from you in return. To buy something, to borrow money, to introduce someone to them, to sleep with them. But Mouse seems to be interested in you and you alone.

Tears come to your eyes and you have to take a deep breath. You put your head back and have to blink a few times until you can control yourself again.

"Do you know when the bad thoughts get too loud? And you don't know where you are, what's real and what's imaginary? What exactly is your mind playing you now and what is really there?"

"That pretty much sums up what I went through some time ago."

The tears were back and burning in your eyes, threatening to run down your cheeks.

"Have you figured out how to get rid of it?"

He shakes his head. "Not really. But it gets easier with time, you learn to live with it. I can promise you that." You nod and look at him with a sad smile.

"God. I'm so pathetic.

"Hey, don't say that. You're amazing. From what I've heard of you so far." With more affectionate words he tries to make you feel better and the only appropriate response that comes to your mind is to kiss him.

You lean forward and simply place your lips on his, silencing him.

You sense that he is surprised and overwhelmed by your reaction, which is why you withdraw again.

"I’m sorry," you say apologetically and pinch your lips together a little. Actually, you're not sorry, it felt too good.

"Don't be," he replies now, putting down his beer bottle and pulling you closer again.

His hands on your cheeks, he puts his lips on yours again and begins to kiss you.

You change position a little until you are sitting astride his lap. His hands now on your back and in your hair, your arms around his neck, your hands also running through his hair, you kiss each other deeply.

You dare to let go. You feel that it's okay, that it's the right thing to do, you just let go and the tears trickle down your cheeks while Mouse holds you, is your anchor to reality, so that you don't get lost in the whirlpool. The images you constantly see in front of you just pass by this time, have no effect on you, because Mouse's is stronger. You feel light, safe and secure in his arms, even though you hardly know him.

Your kiss becomes more intimate, more demanding and you receive his tongue with yours. Then your head is empty.

There is nothing more. Just you and this stranger who has this incredible effect on you.

Finally, you break away breathlessly and just look into each other's eyes. You notice that he can't hold eye contact for long, but that's okay. You know... you have experienced first-hand the effects trauma can have. Your fingers begin to trace his contours.

He makes you feel like you've never felt before. You don't have to say a word. It is as if your looks communicate everything.

Gently he wipes your tears from your cheeks. You nod slightly at his questioning look. Yes, you feel much better now.

"Thank you," you form with your lips. A small smirk settles on his and you lean forward again to kiss him once more. This time it's different. You no longer seek a hold on him, this time it's a "thank you".

Your kiss is gentle, careful and sensual.

If someone had told you this morning what was happening, you would have said that they were nuts. You still can't quite understand how this one person can have such power over you. That this one person can simply silence your thoughts like that.

Time passed, you're sitting next to Mouse again. Your legs crossed his as Johnny brought you not only a cup of Coke but also a joint. You throw him a kissing hand.

After lighting the cigarette, you hold it out to Mouse, offering it to him. He takes a drag while you hold the joint before you take one too.

You blow out the smoke upwards with relish.

A few puffs later, you lean forward again a little until your lips are almost touching and you inhale his smoke before exhaling it back upwards.

"Hey Y/N...", you hear someone's voice before the owner enters the room, just as you inhale Mouse's smoke one more time. "..Johnny said you were here... And apparently you're busy."

You make a grumbling noise, detach yourself from Mouse and blow the smoke back upwards. "Just what I need..." you mutter, before turning to face her. Even through the wonderful fog of the Weed, you are pissed off by the presence of this horrible person. Inconspicuously, you squeeze Mouse's hand tightly, again looking for support, before finally letting go and standing up.

"Genevieve..." you reply, looking at her with a fake smile.

"It's good to see you again. Hey. I'm sorry about what happened."

"Please, don't talk about it and say what you want." Your voice is cold and distant.

"I wanted to apologise for my behaviour. I know it was not correct of me."

You laugh in disbelief. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone, Genevieve. That's not something you just shrug off with an 'I'm sorry'."

"I know that. That's why I want to make it up to you. Tell me what to do."

"Would you do what you put me through?" She remains silent and you snort snidely before taking another step back. You need distance between you. "Of course you wouldn't. After all, then your great image would be tarnished. The great benefactor Genevieve..." you scoff, before adding: "You make me sick."

You see her expression stiffen. "And you are a slut! You slept with my boyfriend even though you knew he was MY boyfriend!" There she is, the real Genevieve, as she lives and breathes. You knew she had this side in her, but you never expected to feel it yourself.

Your hands clench into fists and you feel your fingernails digging into your skin. The pain helps you to stay calm as much as possible.

"Excuse me? That was some pretty lie he breathed into your ear. I told him I didn't want anything from him! Do you think he cared? You know what he told me? That you were too innocent, too willing. Too boring. I slapped him and told him not to talk about my best friend like that in front of me. He then tried to rape me! So much for your perfect Richard and the evil evil Y/N!", you rage.

Shocked, she looks at you before regaining her composure. "Liar!" she hisses, then looks at Mouse. "Have fun with that bitch. Make sure she doesn't end up cheating on you with your best friend."

You gasp in indignation and shock at her impudence. Your former best friend turns around and disappears again.

One more time you have to take a deep breath.

"Wow... that was intense," you hear Mouse suddenly standing behind you. You notice how you immediately become calmer as soon as you feel him behind you.

"Welcome to the young high society of Chicago," you murmur and turn to him. "I'm sorry you overheard that."

"Hev. I want you to know that I don't believe a word she says."

You smile sadly. "Then you're the first. Even Johnny thinks I'm the evil whore in the story."

"Well. I think you're just lost and need someone to believe in you again."

"And you're saying that someone is you?"

"Maybe," Mouse replies with a grin.

You have to laugh and gently bite your lower lip, slightly swollen from your kiss, as you look up at him.

"Are you coming?"

"Where?"

"Get some fresh air, go to the other side of the world, or go to a diner and eat something. Just get away from here."

He takes your hand in his again and intertwines his fingers with yours.

"Where are you going?" he just asks.

You feel a tingle in your stomach as he smiles at you and you have to swallow.

You say goodbye to Johnny with a simple wave before leaving the house with Mouse by the hand.

A car on the other side of the road flashes its lights as soon as you are out of the front gate and you roll your eyes, while you mumble, "Margarita…”

Nevertheless, you walk with Mouse towards the black car with the tinted windows.

"Wow... are you super rich or something?" asks Mouse wryly.

"Please don't remind me,” you only reply, as Peter, your family's long-time driver, gets out and holds the door open.

"Miss Y/L/N," he greets you with a nod as you tell Mouse to get in. "Hey Pete," you say back and get into the car as well.

"Where to, Miss Y/L/N?"

"Hannah's Diner," you reply and Peter nods before pulling out of the parking space.

Next to you, you sense that Mouse would like to bombard you with a thousand questions, but he refrains.

You sigh and lean your head against his shoulder.

"I hate it," you admit.

In response, Mouse squeezes your hand.

You never wanted your family's money. Even though you got a lot of pocket money, you never touched it. Since you were 16 and allowed to work, you worked in a diner and earned your few bucks. Everything you bought since then, you always bought with your own money.

Until the incident three months ago, you worked at Hannah's Diner. But since then you have hardly left your flat. Hannah, who has become a friend over time, has been there for you and said that you can take as much time off as you want and when you are ready and willing, you can start working for her again.

Together with Mouse, you sit down at one of the tables and wait for Hannah to come

It was already late, but the diner was open 24/7. "Okay. What do you want?" you ask, "it's on me." Seeing the look on his face, you add, "Do me a favour and let me pay." After another look into your eyes, he nods. "Okay."

You are suddenly absolutely exhausted. The encounter with Genevieve has robbed you of all the strength you had today.

"Y/N. Good to see you again," you are finally greeted by Hannah with a smile. You return it and stand up to be pulled into a hug.

"How are you?" she asks, looking at you with concern.

You shrug your shoulders. "I'm still alive..."

Hannah's smile turns sad and compassionate. "Well, that's a start." She puts a hand on your shoulder as you sit back down across from Mouse. "What can I get you two?"

Once your milkshakes and fries are brought, Mouse begins to tell. "I was in the army, 3rd Battalion 75th Ranger Regiment. I did two tours in Afghanistan. When I came back, my best friend who I met on deployment and I were a total mess. There are things I don't want to think about anymore, there are things that are constantly in my head. You learn to live with it. The images eventually become less deterrent."

"What happened?" you ask cautiously.

"During my last tour... there was a convoy... Jay and I were in the first Humvee and then..." You can see him bobbing his leg restlessly as he tells the story, his fingers drumming on the table. "I thought that was it for me. Jay and I are about the only ones who got out of there alive."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." You are silent for a moment and take a deep sip of your Strawberry milkshake before you decide to tell him about you.

"My family is... was...", you correct yourself, "actually super rich. The company my dad started after he invented something for computers or something that's now in pretty much every mobile device is incredibly huge. I honestly have no idea about the whole… thing" you run your fingers through your hair. It's still unfamiliar that it's now so short and, more importantly, so light. "He produces it himself, sells it himself. At least he did... He was tinkering with something newer, better, when he got mugged." You start to stir your milkshake with the straw, totally captured in your thoughts. "Someone tried to steal his designs. When he didn't hand them over, they shot and kidnapped my Ma and siblings. They blackmailed them to get the designs. But they knew nothing about it. Dad had never said anything about it." Tears burn in your eyes again. "I’ve found them...” Mouse carefully reaches across the table for your hand and brings you back from the memory.

You lift your gaze and meet his bright blue eyes. "Now I've inherited everything and have no idea where to go or what to do," you admit quietly. "The police never found the… offenders”

Mouse said nothing. He didn't have to say anything. Because nothing he could have said would have made you feel better. So you both remained silent for a moment while he still held your hand and gently caressed your skin with his thumb.

"Thank you for telling me," he finally says and you can't help but smile sadly at him.

"Okay. Let's talk about something else. Something nice..", you finally change the subject and force a liberated smile on your lips. "Tell me about your friend you mentioned, Jay. He seems important to you."

Mouse's expression brightens and he begins to smile honestly.

"Jay... we met in the army. Now he's with the CPD. He's managed to land on his feet. I.. well.."

"You can do it too. You just need someone who believes in you and gives you a chance."

"Yes. Maybe..."

"Okay. Crazy idea: we help each other get back on our feet." "And how do you imagine that?" He looks at you with interest.

"I don't know yet. But you can try, can't you?" "Okay. Let's try.”

After you have eaten and paid, you leave the diner again. "Do you want Pete to take you home? Or you can come upstairs. Then Pete can call it a night..”.

"Would be interested to see what an artist's flat looks like."

You snort in amusement. "Yes, don't expect too much. The artist hasn't moved in yet."

You get into the lift.

"Okay. All expectations are at zero. I promise," Mouse replies now and you have to laugh.

It's the first time in three months that you've really had an honest laugh.

"You have a very nice laugh," Mouse now says quietly.

"Thank you. I think that was the first time I laughed since the incident."

"Then I am honoured to be the first to hear it."

Again you giggle at his silliness.

The lift has arrived at the floor with your flat and you pull Mouse behind you down the corridor.

Once in your flat, Mouse looks around a bit. There is not much to see.

"I... haven't gotten around to decorating the flat yet," you now admit a little uncertainly and disappear into the kitchen.

"Since I don't drink beer, I only have wine in the fridge. But you get to decide which wine we head." You list a few varieties and as you look up, you meet Mouse's puzzled gaze, which makes you grin in amusement again.

"Just take any."

With a bottle of lovely white wine and two glasses in your hand, you go back into the living room and flop down on the couch.

"Sit down. I honestly have no idea what it is, Margarita got it for me...", you admit, and hand Mouse a glass with the alcohol.

Instead of sitting down, Mouse looks at the canvases that are standing around. Still lifes, landscapes. Chicago's skyline, portraits.

"That looks incredible. You should definitely exhibit it."

"Sometime, maybe. My parents were organising something when... well…”

Mouse nods in understanding.

"Hey, you want to try painting something?", you ask

"Oh no. I'd rather stick to my computer stuff."

"Come on. I'll help you." You direct him to the small stool that stands in front of your easel. "This is what I'm working on right now."

"Woah, no, I'm not touching that."

"No really. It didn't turn out so well anyway. I'll probably paint it over later."

"What?"

"Yeah, go on. What would you say is missing from this picture?"

You had painted an avenue where people were walking.

"Maybe make flowers out of the greenery? Then it doesn't look quite so gloomy.

"Okay." You stand behind Mouse, prepare the mixing palette and select a brush. "You do the flowers with dabs on the side."

You put the brush in his hand, put yours over it and guide it. Dab, dab, dab.

After a few dabs, you look at it and say with satisfaction: "Here. Now you try it on your own”

When Mouse did it alone, it didn't look as good as when you did it. But it wasn't a complete disaster either, which you consider a victory.

At some point, he taps his finger in the pink colour and taps you on the nose with it.

Outraged and surprised, you look at him before doing the same to him until you are both full of colour and end up laughing on the floor.

Over the next few weeks you and Mouse meet more often, regularly, sometimes he just sits on your couch and watches you paint, intently sticking your tongue out slightly, sometimes you watch him hacking in with ease somewhere to do something for Johnny's friends.

One day, your family's lawyer is at your door.

"Miss Y/L/N. It is time for you to attend to your duties. There are legal matters that we need to clarify." Mouse puts on his jacket and wants to leave, but you grab his hand. "Please stay." A look into your eyes is enough for him to nod and hang his jacket back up on the coat rack.

"Y/N. Once again, I would like to express my fullest condolences for your loss and for having to burden you with the legal stuff now."

"Thank you."

First he addresses the fact that you have still not accepted or renounced the inheritance. He lists all the things that are involved.

The house, the flats, the business, all the money of your parents and siblings. Mouse's ears almost fell off when he heard the buzzing.

"We can of course sell the house as well as the flats and the business."

"No. The company was Dad's life's work. It should continue to bear the name Y/L/N. Just hire someone competent to handle everything so far."

"I'II take care of it," promises Felix, the lawyer. "Then the properties." "Let's rent them out to people with little money..." Felix also makes a note of this.

"I want to donate most of the money..."

"Where?"

"'I’ll think about it.”

"Alright. Then I have everything for now. I'll get back to you." "Okay."

"You really are super rich”, Mouse said as soon as Felix was out the door.

"I don't want the money... What am I supposed to do with it? I can't spend as much as the company takes in. I probably donate monthly to women's shelters and children's homes or something.”

Mouse gently reaches for your hand and finally pulls you into a hug before the tears start running again.

Carefully he pulls you with him to the couch and onto his lap.

Shortly after your tears have dried up, Mouse feels you fall asleep and he smiles slightly.

In the last few weeks you have become so important to each other and you feel you have never told Mouse what it actually means to you that he is with you.

"Mouse... thank you..."

"For what?"

"That you're here. I... I was lost. Lost my footing and then I met you and... you became my anchor. I'm... I'm starting to be me again. Finding myself again."

He looks at you for a moment before he takes your hand and pulls you to him. The next moment his lips are on yours.

It doesn't take you long to recover from the surprise and you return the kiss. You open your lips slightly and receive his tongue, just like the night you met. But this time, when his tongue touches yours, a soft moan escapes you. You feel his little smirk against your lips. But at this moment you don't care.

Your hands run over his upper body and finally disappear under his T-shirt. You explore his chest and trace the contours of his muscles along his stomach. You tug lightly and he takes the hint and takes off his T-shirt before kissing you again without hesitation. His hands now roam over your body as well. Exploring every inch with such attentiveness to your reactions that you feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

Finally, you take off your T-shirt and Mouse takes a few seconds to admire your body. Your breasts are still hidden in your favourite bra.

Mouse lifts his gaze to your eyes. "May I?"

Your heart does a somersault. Mouse is not the first man you have slept with, but he is the first to ask you if he can do something. Unable to speak, you nod and bring his hands to your breasts and behind your back. Even though he can't look you in the eye for long, he watches your reaction very closely and as he slips the straps off your shoulders, goose bumps spread over your arms as his fingers touch you.

Kissing you again, still so lovingly, as if he were afraid you would break if he were too forceful, his hands wrap around your breasts and he begins to massage them.

His thumb strokes your hard nipples and you let out another moan as you begin to explore his mouth with your tongue.

Your excited moan shoots straight between his loins.

God, he wants you, so much, but even more he wants you to feel good, which is why he ignores the pulsing in his pants and continues to focus on you.

His hands go under your thighs and he looks at you briefly, the sign that you should jump. You wrap your legs around his hips and feel his hardness pressing against your middle.

The next moment, Mouse holds you between him and the wall, his lips now exploring your neck. With your eyes closed, you put your head to the side a little to give him more space.

He sucks a little on your skin, and leaves a little hickey.

An excited gasp escapes your throat and in response, he presses his hips a little harder against yours, only to have you moan lustily this time. "Fuck, Mouse..." you breathe as his lips reach your breast and cup your hard nipple.

Your head is swept clean as he begins to gently nibble, suck and lick over it.

Your hands are in his hair again, already you are searching for support in the storm of lust that threatens to take you in and you haven't even really started yet.

Each of his touches sends flashes of pleasure through your body, gathering in your centre and making you so fucking wet.

Finally, he sets you back down on the floor and his lips continue to travel down your body, over your belly to the waistband of your pants.

A loud shrill sound snaps you out of your frenzy of lust as a mobile phone begins to ring and you make a soft, agonised sound.

You want to ignore it, but it won't stop ringing.

Finally, Mouse, visibly annoyed about the interruption, breaks away from you and reaches for the phone on the table. "You've picked possibly the worst possible time, Halstead. I hope it's urgent."

You have to stifle a laugh as you hand him his shirt and put yours back on as well.

"Yes, in ten minutes, l'lI be there," you hear him say before he hangs up and looks at you apologetically. "Jay has some problem I need to help him with urgently, which of course couldn't wait." You nod in understanding and give him a breathtaking kiss goodbye.

The more time you spend with Mouse, the more you become yourself again. Margarita notices this too and confronts him when she happens to be in the flat while you and Mouse are there.

"Child, don't you want to start making your flat a home so that you no longer have to sleep in a storeroom?" she asks you, pointing to the boxes still standing around.

"Yeah, maybe I should start doing that, shouldn't I?"

When you then go to the kitchen to get something to drink, Margarita confronts Mouse: "If you hurt her, I'll make your life hell. She likes you and you are good for her, so don't ever let her go."

Then she turns to you as you re-enter the living room and says: "A nice young man you've caught yourself. I'II leave you to it then. Food is in the fridge, have a nice day." With a frown, you watch the woman scurry out of the front door.

"What was that?"

"I don't know what you mean," Mouse replies.

You shrug it off and change the subject. "Hey, about the flat furnishings...maybe you'd like to come with me?" You look at him with begging puppy eyes, which you know by now he cannot resist.

Your parents always had designer furniture everywhere and everything was made of very expensive material. You don't care, if you're honest, which is why you just decide according to what looks nicest to you. You notice how you think of your parents and don't immediately lose your grip. A small smile comes to your lips. Of course you still grieve and miss your family, that probably won't change, but it no longer paralyses you. You learn to live with it.

And Mouse has contributed a great deal to your healing, you are very sure of that, which is why you now take his hand and intertwine your fingers

A small smile also appears on his lips.

When you arrive in the bed department, you stand in front of a model and bite your lower lip, an idea forming in your head before you look at Mouse

"You know, you can't really try out the beds here. Just imagine, when you get home you realise that it's totally uncomfortable or impractical? If only you could try it out...." You look up at him meaningfully and he begins to laugh softly.

He understands what you are implying and looks at you with a raised eyebrow, before suggesting, "What do you say we come back later?"

"I think that's a great idea," you reply, stealing a small kiss from his lips.

…to be continued

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[stefanmikaleson1864]

Every Version Of You

Jay Halstead X Reader 

Requested by anon 

When jays best friend who he always loved even before the rangers gets honorably discharged from the rangers and comes working beside him and mouse at the district he realizes how innocent romantically she is and why she wouldn’t ever be with someone while they were serving because that meant comments being made an he finds out she’s always been in love with him like he has been with her and turns to putty when she looks up At him after a case

A/N: I hope you like this ! I am so sorry that It’s taken a while to write it but I am working through my request. 

If you like my work please comment like and reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work. 

Jay’s POV. 

Me and and Y/N have been best friends our entire lives. We went to the same school together and we really always kept to the side

.we never really had any other friends so it was always just us. Where one was the other one was as well. We also happened to live on the same block as each other. 

When things got rough at home we always had a spot where we would meet up together.

 A park down a couple blocks from each other. It was pretty run down and gross so no one ever went there which was good for us. 

It was our place and our safe haven. It’s where we could spend hours talking to each other or really say nothing at all.

 All i knew was when ever I was there with her I always felt safe. That everything was going to be okay. 

During one of our long talks there we talked about the future and what we wanted out of life. We both wanted. 

 We wanted to join the army and get out of town and serve a high purpose in life. 

To be able to help people in need to look back and know we made a difference. Not to mention when we left we would have hella benefits to set us up. It would mean we didn’t have to come back here. 

We would be able to start fresh out there and create a new life.

When we finally made it out of high school we graduated and right away we enlisted.

 We went to boot camp about a month later. Y/N was excited but I had more worried about her than myself. 

I know it’s what we wanted but  now that we were there I couldn’t help but feel scared.

 What if something happened to her. The thought of loosing her tore me up inside. I couldn’t loose someone else. 

Boot camp was rough. Both physically and mentally it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Y/n was feeling it to. But there were some good things that came along with it. 

We meant a lot of new people and became friends with them. Were really building our community.

 One person who really stuck with us was this quiet guy named Greg.We gave him the nick name mouse and he hated it but we didn’t care. 

The three of us were a trio and were always together. Mouse was the first person to call me out on my feelings for Y/N. I didn’t even realize it at first. 

That I was in love with her. He just flat out asked me one day because he was going to and I told  him no she was completely off limits. 

I never really thought about it before like that. Being in love with her because there is a different type of feelings that come along with that. 

But once I realized it I felt so different but a good different. 

Our time in the Military had come and gone and I was the first one to leave. My deployment ended first then Mouse.

 After 3 tours we finally decided we were done and hung up our hats. 

Y/N was right behind us after her 4th Y/n decided it was time to hang up the hat as well. When she came home I was able to get her a civilian job with us. She wasn’t ready to go out in the field. 

The trauma of war really did a number on her and she needed to be able to work a more stable position.

 She worked as a investigator for us. She really liked and she was such a huge part of the team. 

Right now we were all gathered around in the pen working on our next case. We had multiple murders out on the west side and we were worried about more violence coming out. 

We had exhausted all of our options and were left with really nothing. Expect one choice which was Mouse.

 He was selling bootleg cd’s and stolen goods. He also had a hard time adjusting and couldn’t hold down a proper job. 

“Come on we need something before there is more bloodshed out there” Hank said in a upset voice” 

“I think I may have something” I said sitting up 

Everyone looked at me with a confused look on their face. 

“Mouse he lived there his whole life I know him he knows something” I said 

“I don’t know if he would be the best help in his situation” Y/N said with a worried look on her face. 

“Why what happened” Kim asked. 

“He just had a hard time after we came home he never really adjusted” Y/N said. 

“I Know but I think he can handle this” I said

“Look if he’s un hinge it could do more damage than good” Kevin said 

“Look i trust him and I’ll watch out for him what ever happens is on me But I do think this is our best choice” I said 

“Let’s do it” Voight said 

Y/N looked at me a concerned voice so i reached over and gave it a comforting squeeze. 

I didn’t bother to tell him I was showing up because I know him and he would have ran off. I went alone incase he got scared and ran off. 

I made my way to him and like usual he wasn’t really even hiding what he was doing out that giant white van. I made my way over and banged on the back of the van. 

“Hey Mouse open up” I yelled. 

Slowly the door opened up and Mouse stuck his head and peaked around the door.. He looked scared like he was caught which I mean he was technically. 

“Hey Uh Jay what are you doing here” He asked in a worried voice. 

“Relax man I need a favor with something” I said laughing. 

‘Don’t say that out loud man what the hell is wrong with you” Mouse said. 

He grabbed my arm and drug me into the back of his van which is very alarming to most people. 

We got in and it was nothing but stolen goods and food wrappers. And my god that weed smel was horrible. 

We sat down in the two empty seats that was barely there. Mouse had to throw stuff around just for us to be able to sleep. 

“So man hey what’s going on” Mouse asked bouncing around. 

“Look man you gotta chill out you good” I asked placing my hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah Man I’m good what’s up” He said. 

“I need your help with a case I know you know about these murders happening” I said 

“Yeah But what’s that got to do with me” Mouse asked. 

“Look I need to see if you can figure anything out I know you know everyone here okay you can figure something out” I said 

“Yeah but If people figure out I’m helping you I can’t risk my business man” Mouse said.

“Man forget your business we got dead body okay innocent people are dying” I said. 

“Okay alright I guess I can think about it” Mouse said 

“Shut the hell up and let’s go and behave when we get there Y/N is already worried about you working this and I don’t want to worry her more or prove her right” I said. 

“Yeah yeah Y/N i heard she was working with you how is she doing if you know what I mean” Mouse said 

I looked at him with a confused and even a slightly annoyed face because he already knew what the situation was he was just instigating the issue.

“Y/n is fine and we work together and we are friends that’s it for that situation” I said 

“You know what I mean” Mouse said shoving his elbow in my arm and laughing. 

“Let’s go now” I said annoyed at him already. 

I got out of the van and headed back into my own car. Mouse was following right behind me and we left headed for the district. 

He was non stop talking the whole way and I tried my best to act like I was paying attention. 

The only thing i was thinking was Y/n probably was going to be right that he wasn’t ready for something like this and I was pushing it. 

If he blew up and this case blew up it means we loose our only chance to get a killer of the street and it means I loose my word that I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. 

The car ride back felt long but I knew it wasn’t and I was nervous about him meeting the team and seeing Y/N again. I didn’t want him to blurt out some dumb stuff. 

When we got there we made our way in and I read him the riot act and pleaded with him to act like he had some kind of commonsense. 

“Hey man I got this stop worrying when have I ever done something dumb” Mouse said 

“We don’t have the time to run through that list” I said getting more mad. 

We made our way back into the bullpen and everyone was sitting at their desk looking at their computer. 

When we walked in they stopped what they were doing and looked up at us.  Y/N looked happy to see him but also had worry all over her eyes. It was subtle but I knew her for so long that I could read her. 

“Y/N my girl I missed you how you been baby” Mouse said loudly. 

“I’m good I missed you too” Y/N said smiling and walked over and hugged him. 

“ Hey everyone It’s nice to meet you all I promise to be on my best behavior” Mouse said 

Voight walked out and walked over to where Mouse was. 

“Listen I appreciate the help but if you fuck this up for us” Voight said 

“No sir I am here to help in anyway I can” Mouse said.

I think it was the first time he actually stiffened up and seemed kind of nervous. 

“Good so let’s get started then we don’t want to waste any time” Voight said. 

“We got 4 dead on our hand we think we have a prime suspect John Roberts he hussles out the west side but we can’t prove anything” Y/N said 

“What makes you think him” Mouse asked 

“All 4 people who were killed their phones pinged out his night club , we know he is a known seller and has a violent streak” Y/N said 

“So we need you to make a bid to be a seller for him and get him talking on a wire” Voight said. 

“Um yeah I know this guy he’s dangerous and ruthless he’s just not going to open up to me” Mouse said. 

“Look we know you got a rep in that area okay so you asking for this isn’t going to raise red flags” Jay said 

“Fine but no way am I going alone” Mouse said 

“Me and Jay can go were pose as customers in the club you know we got you” Y/N said 

“Y/N you haven’t been out in the field.” I said worried about her

“I’ll be fine don’t worry about me i can handle myself” Y/N said a little defensive. 

“Listen she says she’s fine I trust her it sounds like a good plan get it done” Voight said. 

I didn’t say anything and we all went back to our desk to get everything ready for tonight. After a couple of hours we were putting the final touches on the plan. 

Y/N went home and changed into something a little more appropriate for a club so no red flags would get raised. 

I was currently helping to bug mouse and I could tell he was nervous but he wouldn’t say anything. 

“Listen your good me and Y/N we got you like we always have before” I told him. 

“Yeah yeah your right” Mouse said. 

We finished up and headed out. Y/N was meeting us there. The car ride over was silent and we both had jitters. 

When we arrived there Y/N was sitting outside and she had on this purple sparkly dress. She was all dressed up. She really looked beautiful. 

I gave Mouse a squeeze on the shoulder and we headed out. 

“Hey come on it’s going to be okay” I said 

Mouse nodded and we walked over to Y/n.She looked up at us and smiled. 

“You go in and were head in a little bit after so we don’t look like were together you got this Greg It’s going to be okay” Y/N said 

“Yeah Thanks” Mouse said. 

He went and in we stayed behind and I looked over at Y/N and I could tell she was nervous to. 

“Hey there is no shame about being nervous It’s been a while sense you been out in the field but you got this I got you” I said 

“I know I’m okay I’m good really Let’s go inside i’m freezing” she said looking up at me and smiling. 

We walked in and grabbed a drink from the bar and headed to a table we where we could see mouse without being to noticed. 

“So how’s things been with you” Y/N asked 

“What do you mean” I asked

“I mean you haven’t been dating anyone sense Erin and we haven’t been able to talk in a while what’s going on” She asked. 

“Not much haven’t been in the mood to date sense she left” I said 

“Come on handsome guy like you it’s impossible to stay single for long” She said smiling. 

“I think I have someone in my mind but it would never go anywhere so i’m working on getting past that” I said honestly 

“Who do I know her” She asked 

“Uh yeah but don’t worry about it” I said 

“Okay fine sure be secretive or what ever” Y/n said taking a drink. 

“How we looking up there” I asked the team out there. 

‘Good mouse is being talkative but John has no clue were on to him. This might actually work” Kevin said. 

“It’s Mouse he always has a way with words” I said laughing. 

“Hey at least he talks to people” Y/N said 

“Damn Jay what did you do to her” Adam asked 

The conversation fell flat after that and I felt bad because I didn’t want to think I was pushing her out. 

Mouse was up there a while and he was doing okay so hopefully it was a sign we got everything we needed. 

After a little bit he headed down and we watched him leave. We again waited a few minutes before we also left. 

When we went outside Mouse was sitting in the back seat of the car and we walked over and got in. 

“Hey how did it go” I asked 

“Good I am now a seller a little bit see how it goes but we got our way in” Mouse said 

“OMG I told you that you could do this , we got a way in” Y/N said 

“Thanks Now let’s get the hell out of here” Mouse said 

“Alright let’s call it a night and we all meet in the morning” Voight said.

Mouse was a little quiet and I could tell he was nervous about this. But I knew it was all going to be worth it once we catched this son of a bitch. 

We drove off and I dropped Mouse off at his apartment. Me and Y/n left and it was quiet in the car after. 

I drove to her place and I parked the car and we both just sat there for a second before sitting in silence. 

She didn’t get out right away and I didn’t know what was wrong but I decided to break the silence. 

“Hey I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to ice you out or anything” I said 

She looked over at me and smiled. 

“It’s okay I just wanted to make sure everything was okay” She said. 

“Listen I need to be honest because if I can’t be honest with you then nothing else matters” I said. 

I could feel the anxiety building up inside of me and I needed to say it to her. Don’t ask me why now seemed like a good time.

 I guess after icing her out earlier maybe I thought I should tell her. 

“Hey so this girl I like I need to get over and move on from it’s you. I love you Y/n I have for a while and I haven’t been able to say because I know you feel about dating and being deployed so i didn’t say anything” I said.

“I didn’t want to ruin our friendship or change anything and I was scared” I said

“I uh” she said 

I could feel the anxiety bubbling up inside of me and I was worried that I just ruined my only good thing I had going on. 

She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze and she looked over and smiled at me. 

“I love you I really do and not just in a friendship type of way like romantic. But i’m scared because you are the only good thing I have but I have a lot going on mentally and I need time you know” She said 

“I want to keep working on being the most best version of myself but I do want this so if we could work slow and build up” Y/N said. 

I squeezed her hand back and looked over at her and smiled. I leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. 

“I love every version of you but I want you to be the best version you can possibly be and I will be here for you on the other side when ever your ready I am here so take as long as you need” I said 

“ I love you Jay Halstead and I can’t Imagine what I would do without you” She said 

“Well you never have to know” I said. 

“How about you come up and we watch the hockey game and beers” Y/N said 

“I would live that let’s go” I said. 

We got up and headed in. We watched the game and laid out on the couch together and nights like these are worth everything.

[toppersjeep]

Chapter 12- I Miss You

The One -[Jay Halstead X Matt Casey]

link to master list with previous chapters

Elle’s POV

“So have you spoken to Jay” Stella asked. “Why would I” I said. “I mean maybe he’s sorry” Stella said. “Elena we have a call at the police headquarters ” Kelly said. “The police headquarters” I asked. “Yeah something about a bomb threat they need our expertise” Kelly said. “Alright” I said. “We can take my car” Kelly said.

“So just us” I said. “Yeah we are the only two who actually took the courses” Kelly said. “This should be fun” I said. We drove to the police headquarters and then went up to some meeting room. As soon as we turned the corner I saw my Dad. So I knew Jay would be there too. “Great” I said.

“Look put whatever you have aside okay we aren’t doing drama” Kelly said. “Copy that” I said. We walked in through the doors. “Ah there they are some of the city’s finest firefighters” Dad said. “Nice to meet you” the director said. “This is my daughter Elena Voight and her boss Kelly Severide” Dad said.

“Your daughter wow she grew up” the man said. “That she did” he said I smiled. “So what do you need our help with” Kelly asked. “Well we found a bomb earlier today and we think they are planning more attacks” he said.

“We do know what they already did one earlier today at a festival” Jay added. “Was anyone else hurt” I said looking at my dad. “We do have a missing police officer” Kim said. “He was working detail with Kim and disappeared” Adam said. “Maybe he’s a part of this” I said.

“No I know him he’d never do this” Kim said. “Sometimes people aren’t as them seem” I said looking at Jay. “So why do you need us” Kelly said. “Your experts in this stuff tell us what’s in it and how it was made” the director added. “Maybe we can figure out how to stop the next one” he said.

“Well one of them can work on it we do need backup” Adam said. “I’ll stay Elena” Kelly said. “Kelly” I said. “No you’ve got a better handle on the police thing so” Kelly said. “Elena go with Halstead” Dad said. “Dad” I said. “No complaints go” Dad said.

We then walked downstairs to the parking garage. Of course I had to be stuck with him.

“Come on”Jay said. “For the record I hate this idea” I said walking in front of him. “Elena I’ve told you I’m sorry multiple times” Jay said. “I don’t wanna hear this” I said getting into the passenger seat of his car.

(Crystal Reed as Elena Voight)

“You know your one of the most stubborn people I know” Jay said. “Just drive Jay” I said. “I’m just saying you are” he said stopping at a red light. “God why do I get roped into these things” I said. “Elle did you ever stop and think it’s because your good at what you do” Jay said.

“Jay” I said softly. “You are Elena you made Squad despite everyone at the academy telling you aren’t good enough” Jay said stopping the car. “Your an amazing firefighter Elena you’ve saved so many lives” Jay said putting a hand on mine.

“Yeah and what about the ones I didn’t Jay how do you cope with that” I said. “Think about the people you will save and the lives you’ll change” he said. I teared up. “I just” I said he hugged me tightly. “I know” Jay said. “Hey Halstead we got something” Adam said over the radio.

“Yeah what do you got” Jay said back. “We found the guy Atwater is bringing him in” Adam said. “Copy that” Jay said. “Sorry” I said. “No don’t apologize Elle just know I’m here for you” Jay said. “I appreciate that” I said he smiled.

“Want me to drop you back off at the firehouse” Jay asked. “Yeah that’s fine” I said. We drove back to the firehouse. He parked off to the side in the driveway. “Maybe we can talk later about everything tonight” Jay said. “Ummm.. yeah I’d like that” I said. “So I’ll see you tonight” Jay said. “I’ll see you” I said getting out. I watched as he drove off.

I then walked into the firehouse to see Matt talking to Otis.

“Hey how’d it go” Matt said. “Good I think” I said. “Well you were the right person for it” Matt said. “I’ll go over there I can feel the weirdness” Otis said walking over to the Squad table.

“He’s right there is a weirdness” I said. “Well we did kiss so” Matt said. “Yeah I know but” I said. “There’s always a but” Matt said. “I can’t do that Matt I wouldn’t to Gabby” I said. “And you still love him” Matt said. “I just” I said sighing. “No it’s alright you don’t have to explain yourself” Matt said.

“Well I gotta go take care of some stuff” I said. “Yeah so I’ll see you tonight at Mollys” Matt asked. “Rain check I got somewhere to be” I said. “Holding you to it Voight” Matt said.

Later…

Before I went to see Jay I stopped by the cemetery to see Jimmy. It had been almost seven months since he passed away. So I had brought flowers. Even though it had just began to snow. I knew I had to see him.

I got out of my car and walked over to his grave. They buried him beside his older brother.

“I don’t know how these things work” I said setting the flowers down on his headstone. “But I do know that I forgive you for everything” I said. “And I’ve been trying to forgive myself and it’s hard” I said tearing up. “Everyday I wonder if there was more I could’ve done to protect you” I said.

“You were one of my closest friends and I let you go down this path” I said wiping my tear. “I know I should’ve done more and I’m sorry” I said putting a hand on the headstone. “If your out there somewhere I hope your happier just know I miss you” I said softly. “And that the firehouse isn’t the same without you” I said.

“I really am sorry for being a shitty friend” I said. “Well I should be going but say hi to Justin for me” I said. I then drove away and drove to Jays. I walked up to his apartment and knocked on the door.

“Hey Elena thought we were meeting at Mollys” Jay said. “No I just wanted to stay in if that’s okay” I said. “Sure yeah” he said I walked into his apartment. “Before we talk or say anything I need to tell you something” I said he shut the door.

“What’s up” he said sitting on his couch. “Matt kissed me the other night” I said. “As in Matt Casey” he asked. “Yeah and I don’t feel anything for him I guess seeing you today made me realize” I said. “I’m telling you because I want this to work ,I want us to trust each other” I said.

“I do trust you Elle” he said cupping my cheek. “You know I love you right” I said. “I know” he said. “And Elena… I love you” Jay said. “Yeah” I said. “Yeah I do” he said I kissed him. “So movie night and pizza” Jay said.

“I’m so down for that” I said. “Good and wings I guess because you love them” he said I smiled. “You know me so well” I said.

[enchantedblackrose]

I forgot about 5 Sentences!!

MOUSE - His hands were in your hair, guiding your mouth back towards his.

Eta: NSFW elements

You gently bite his lower lip before letting him kiss you again. Your nails rake up and down his naked chest as your hips steadily begin to rock against the growing bulge still trapped in his jeans. Greg untangles his hands from your hair, fingertips instead now trace your every curve. You feel, rather than see, him laugh and it stops you from working to undo the button on his pants; you look up at him puzzled, but before you say anything, Greg cups your face. "I can't believe this is finally happening," he marvels at you breathlessly.

[bullet-prooflove]

NSFW Alphabet a b c x y z

A - Alone time (how do they get off when they’re all by themselves? do they watch porn, is it all in their imagination, do they jerk off, do they use toys?) 

Gets off in bed thinking of you, his face pressed into your pillow so he can inhale the scent of your perfume. I feel like Mouse is very sense orientated so that heightens the experience for him. I can imagine him biting down on it to stifle the noise as he comes. 

If he’s single it’s porn but if he’s with you, he’s getting off to what you did last night or a video you made.

Always uses his hand.

B - Bondage (do they like it? do they not? do they prefer to be the one being tied or the one doing the tying?) 

Not his thing at all. He’s been through some terrible shit in the Rangers, it’s never been brought up that he was captured but I feel like for a few days he disappeared and he was a mess when they found him. He still has the scars on his back.

C - Crying (is it a turn on? a turn off? do they cry during sex? have they cried during sex? what was the reason?) 

I think after the first time he was so embarrassed to find himself crying. You’re the first person he’s been with since what happened to him and I think the build up of emotion, the release overwhelmed him. You kissed away his tears and made him feel safe. It hasn’t happened since.

X - X-dressing (do they crossdress as a part of teasing / foreplay? does crossdressing turn them on? turn their partner on? do they prefer to do it or watch their partner crossdress instead? do they use other costumes? cat ears, tails, etc?) 

Not his thing at all.

Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?) 

Loves when you say his name, his real one. It grounds him, reminds him who he is. When you come, you chant it like a mantra and it gets him there in no time.

He swears so much when he gets to the climax, I think he’s all silent kisses and soft grunts until he gets to the finish line and then it’s “fuck baby fuck, I’m gonna come, fuck like that, baby…”

Z - Zones (what are their erogenous zones? what spots on their body should be touched, bitten, kissed, when someone wants to get them in the mood?) 

Everywhere, he can’t believe that a girl like you can love a guy like him. He views himself as broken, unworthy of love so anytime you show him affection means the world to him. Running your hands through his hair is something that drives him a little crazy, especially when he’s inside you.

[bullet-prooflove]

Greg loves being with you, he loves how fun your relationship, how silly the two of you can be. He loves the feel of you pressed against him as he laughs, the way your own giggle vibrates through your chest as he kisses you until your breathless.

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Greg “Mouse” Gerwitz: Crazy 

You stormed down to the tech lab anger and panic filling the space in your chest. You see your boyfriend sitting in front of a computer typing on a computer with headphones on. He is clearly absorbed in his work and doesn’t notice you until you make it into his peripheral vision. He glances up and into a window seeing your reflection behind him. He swivels in his chair, a smile on his face at the sight of you. It quickly drops off his face when he notices your expression. “Baby...?” 

“When were you going to tell me?” You demand, stopping a foot in front of him. He sits up straighter in his chair and you can tell he is evaluating you. Your jaw is tight with tension, arms crossing over your chest in a distinctively closed-off position. Putting distance between you and him and defending yourself from the emotional blow you felt was coming. 

When Mouse found no clues but anger on your face, he started searching his memory for things that could have brought on this confrontation. He came up empty-handed. You two had always had a very open way of communication, something Mouse wasn’t used to, that often killed problems before they had time to develop. “You know, I’m a lot better at this whole thing when I actually know what we are fighting about.”  

You scoffed at him, shaking your head in disbelief. Your frustration and anger with him were building and you could feel it getting ready to explode through your chest. Mouse could see the emotions bubbling up inside you. He tried to defuse the situation. He stayed calm keeping his voice even as he slid his chair closer to you instead of standing to keep himself smaller. “Hey baby, c’mon now. Talk to me.”  

His hands reached for your hips to try to soothe you. You push the folded paper against his chest a little harder than necessary. You pull your hand back and watch the paper drop into his lap. “I’m talking about this! I can’t believe you didn’t have the decency to give me a heads up, or I don’t know have a conversation before making life-altering decisions for us.” Mouse’s confused blue gaze stayed on you, as he grappled for the paper and unfolded it. He looked down to see what the fuss was about. He stilled when he saw the paper. “Well, say something!” You demand when he stays silent.  

He looks back up at you, blue eyes soft. “Sweetheart, I think you have the wrong idea.” He says gently but it only has the effect of amping you up even more. It sounds like a brush-off- him condescending you. 

“I’m not stupid. It’s a release to go back to your unit. The Ranger’s 75th unit.” Your voice is getting louder, and you are pointing at him angrily. He stays strangely calm as he offers the half-filled paper back out to you. 

“Yeah, you're right. But sweetie look at the date.” His long finger taps the top corner of the page where the date is printed in black ink. You had seen it before it was dated out a month ago. But when your eyes scan back over the page you notice the year. The paper wasn’t from a month ago but a year and a month ago. Your mouth parts into a silent O as your arms drop down. You reach for the paper and Mouse hands it over without any resistance. You bring the paper back up to reread again to make sure that your eyes aren’t playing tricks on you. 

This time when Mouse reaches for your hips you don’t take a step back. “I-wait what?” You mumble as you rake a hand through your hair. He smoothed his hands down your sides and to your thighs. He pulled you closer to him easing you down onto his lap. He traces his hand down your thigh. 

“I was offered to go back to my unit last year. They needed a proficient comms tech. I was struggling with being out of the field here. I felt like...” He paused still struggling with emotions though it had become easier. “Like it would be best for me to go back. Back where I knew that I was the good guy.” 

You searched his blue eyes, “What happened?” 

“I had a felony.” You tried not to let the shock show on your face. You knew that he had done some sketchy things when he got back from the service, but you didn’t know that he had caught a felony. “It was nothing crazy. I was caught with a truck of stolen Blu-Ray players.” He coughs as he adds, “And hacking into the Department of Defense.”  

“You what- why would you hack- you know what, it doesn’t even matter.” Mouse gave you a grateful nod- though he would have told you. “So, you couldn’t go.” He tilted his head back and forth indecisively. 

“Not necessarily, I just needed to get it expunged from my record.” 

“But you couldn’t?” You rub his arm comfortingly. You were trying to squash your gratefulness that it hadn’t worked out for him. If it had the two of you would have ever been here now. In the relationship with a man, you loved.  

He smiled fondly at you, “I did actually.” 

“Then why-?” He squeezed your thigh firmly. 

“Well, I was on my way to convince Jay to help me get it expunged. When I bumped into this beautiful girl at the coffee shop.” The breath caught in your chest. You search his face, a warm loving smile on his lips. He cupped your cheek, tracing your cheekbone with a calloused thumb.  

“You gave it up for a girl you just met? That crazy.” 

“No, I still went through the motions to go back. Keep in contact with my supervisor, went through the process to get my felony expunged.” He paused seeing the tears mist your eyes. Wiping away the tear when it rolled down your cheek. “But I spent time with you too. By the time I got the paper signed for my record to be cleared, I didn’t want to leave you. I knew if I did that would be the end of it for us. And I knew something was there. You were a light in my life. Leaving that without giving it a real shot- that would have been crazy.” 

I hate that Mouse left. Now I changed it so that he gets to stay. <3 I’m starting a tag list if you would like to be added, just leave a comment saying so. 

[dandelionfairyyy]

Writing my first Mouse-Oneshot…

I wrote nearly 4K words by now and I think the story didn’t even really started yet… 😂

So be ready for a very long but very beautiful Oneshot 😌

PS: my head is a mess now… 😂

PPS: the research for this was really fun tho 🤭😂

[samantha-chicago]

Chicago PD Masterlist

Reaction (Will Halstead, Adam Ruzek x Everleigh Lindsay)

Photographs (Antonio Dawson, Intelligence x Reader) 

Baby (Adam Ruzek x Reader)

Panic (Adam Ruzek x Reader)

Shooting (Adam Ruzek x Manning!Reader)

Saving Him ( Reader x Adam Ruzek, Alvin Olinsky, Intelligence, Med)

Back Home (Jay Halstead x Halstead!Reader (Wife), Adam Ruzek, Kevin Atwater)

Back In Town (Reader x Adam Ruzek, Kelly Severide, Greg 'Mouse' Gerwitz, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Intelligence + More) Part I Part 1 *NSFW*  Part 2

Blood (Kevin Atwater x Reader)  

No Air (Adam Ruzek x reader, Kelly Severide x sister!reader)

That's Alvin Olinksy (Leslie Shay x Halstead!Reader)

Meet The Boyfriend (Dante Torres x reader)

Protective *NSFW* (Dante Torres x Atwater!reader)

[stefanmikaleson1864]

New Beginnings

Requested by @kzgsox

Jay halstead x female greader

Lindsey gets upset at her boyfriend Jay when she finds him comforting the girl he was in love with who served in the rangers with him and mouse,when a guy from the readers past is halled into the station and question the reader has a full blown panic attack having never told anyone what had happened an ends up being the solid source of the reasoning the guy gets put away for good and Jay stays by her side the whole time and they end up together

A/N: I Really hope everyone enjoys this ! And if you like my work please comment like and Reblog it means a lot to see interactions on my work

Y/N’s POV 

Things had been hard ever sense coming home from the rangers. You thought the moment you touched down on US soil everything would be okay.

 That you would be able to take off the uniform and put all those bad memories and feelings into the closet and lock it away. 

But that wasn’t the case which seemed pretty obvious now. Things were not doing okay and you were not where you thought you would be in live. 

You thought you would be married with kids and having a career. But that was from the life you had now. 

You were in bad relationship with a guy you had no business being with. He was a piece of crap guy. 

He always took every little thing out on you. And you always just ended up taking it. Not wanting to make the situation worse. 

With your PTSD and other things you had going on you thought life was as good as it was going to get. 

That you didn’t want to burden someone else with the struggles you were going through. Someone else didn’t deserve the weight you carried. 

Everyone you knew from the rangers had gone their own way. You never really kept in contact with them and decided it was best that way. 

Maybe seeing them would be to hard. Or that is what you told yourself anyways. 

The connections you had were just gone and it was honestly hard dealing with the pain of that to. 

You had 2 other people you were close with that you thought you had true connections to. 

Jay halstead and Greg Gerwitz aka Mouse. It was always the 3 of you together  and you seemed to have different feelings for Jay. 

The kind that missed him while he was gone and always got butterflies when he touched you. 

You thought about asking him out but you didn’t want to ruin one of the most important relationships you had. Besides he never seemed to recuperate so you didn’t want to get hurt. 

Once the 3 of you were honourably discharged and thanked for your service you all went back home.

 Conveniently you all lived in Chicago which is what also strengthen your bond. But once you all got home you went your separate ways. 

Maybe it was just hard on them to so you tried your best to understand. So you went into your little box and then just shut out the world. You didn’t even bother trying it all just seemed so pointless

But now it just seemed like someone was taking a hammer and breaking at the box making you come out.

  You tried to patch the holes but it seemed like it wasn’t working and you just didn’t know what to do. 

It wasn’t even a good thing that it was breaking at least right now it wasn’t. You knew your boyfriend was up to no good and know he was getting you involved in it. 

He was running drugs at first. You knew that and against your better judgement you didn’t do anything about it. He wasn’t getting involved so you didn’t say anything. But now he was upping his game. 

He was selling weapons and bomb materials. He was using your name on the weapons so they didn’t check his background. 

You didn’t even know until now because you got a letter in the mail about your background check 

You were shocked obviously , confused and hurt. You kept thinking about what you were going to do ?

 You knew you had a duty to protect the public it was in your blood. But then the other part of you was worried that no one would believe you.

You also wondered what the hell Keith would say ? I mean not that you cared what that horrible man would think but you also tried so hard not to even think about it. 

Right now you were sitting at the table in your kitchen biting your nails. Something you did when you were always nervous. 

Suddenly the door opened up and they slammed the door breaking your thoughts. You also jumped out of fear. 

“Y/n where the hell are you” The voiced barrelled out. 

Keith of course 

“Hey babe I’m in here “ You said quietly 

“We need to leave right now “ keith said. 

“What no i’m not leaving” You said 

“I really wasn’t asking let’s go” He yelled

“Why don’t you talk to me and we can work this out okay” You pleaded 

“I’m not talking about this anymore” He yelled grabbing your arm. 

You snatched it back and then stood up to look him in his eyes. 

“I know okay I know why you want to go” You said 

“How” was all he asked

“They sent me a letter in the mail from my background check” You said 

“Damn it” He yelled knocking stuff on the table.

It shook you up and you just kept starting down at the ground. Not knowing what the hell your next move should be right now. A little to scared to move. 

Suddenly the front door swung open again and you heard shouting 

“Chicago PD No one move” A familiar voice yelled out. 

You snapped your head up to the blonde hair man looking just as shocked as you. 

“Y/N Omg is that you” Jay asked 

“Jay what the hell is going on” You asked. 

“You know each other” A brown haired girl asked she was very pretty. 

“Yeah we were in the military together” Jay asked 

Some brown haired guy walked over and grabbed you 

“Come on put your hands behind your back” He said 

You looked over at pleading eyes to Jay. You didn’t even do anything wrong. This was all on him. 

“No let her go I got her” Jay said. 

He walked over to you and touched your arm slightly and nodded you for him to follow you. The brown hair girl looked at him with a confused and upset look.

He just seemed to shrug it off and walk past her and went straight outside. You didn’t say anything to him thought still a bit shaken up. You were just confused about was going on. 

Jay didn’t say anything either and you had a heart time reading what he was feeling or what he was even thinking. He walked you out to a black car and opened up the door and sat you in the back. 

Then he looked around for a little bit like he was making sure no one was looking and he got in on the other side. 

His face was reading like it was hurt and he didn’t know what to say because he didn’t want to hurt you. You knew he was pretty disappointed in seeing you wrapped in all of this. 

“ Do not say anything okay you hear me” He said 

“What do you mean I didn’t do anything” You pleaded with him. 

“Y/N look i know your name was pulled up in the damn report to buy the stuff” Jay said 

“That’s how far It got and I didn’t even know he was using my name at all I swear okay Jesus I would Never” You said 

“Okay if that’s what you say but when we get there not a damn word to anyone but me” He said. 

“Fine” You said just sitting back and not really saying anything. 

Jay got out and he walked away and you didn’t know where he went because the windows were tinted and you couldn’t even see anything. 

You just laid you head back and squeezed your eyes closed. You just hoped maybe when you would open them back up it would be some sort of dream. That this wasn’t really happening to you. 

You could feel the tears rolling down on your cheek. The salty water hitting your lips. God how did you get here and why. This wasn’t happening not to you. 

Suddenly you sat up and opened your eyes when the car doors opened up. You sat up and wiped the tears away. Jay and the brown haired girl got in. There was a air in the car like you could just tell they were arguing about something. 

You just sat up and put your seat belt on and they took off. No one was speaking and you could cut the tension with a knife. 

You just kept driving on the way to the station. You finally made it there and they pulled up in the front. They both got out and Jay walked over to your side and opened up the door. 

You got out and he kept right by your side without moving, It was hard to tell if it was because he was keeping you from running or was he protecting you. It seemed like the latter but it was hard to tell. 

You walked into the station and it seemed like everyone had stopped what they were doing and just stared at you. Or maybe you were just being dramatic. 

There was a lady at the front desk who looked up and gave a mean look towards your way. You wondered what the hell you did to her. 

Jay didn’t say anything he just walked you up the stairs and keyed in some numbers and the door opened up. 

You walked up the stairs and walked into a office/ work pen area. There were desk every where and you were surprised to see something on what was obviously Jay’s desk. There was a picture on the desk with you Jay and Mouse. 

It made your heart pound. And you can’t believe he kept it. DId it mean something or was it just sentimental ? You felt like you were getting in your head again. 

He walked you to a room and he pointed for you to sit down. He went and shut the door behind him. You didn’t see where the other girl went. She got lost in the crown downstairs. 

He just looked at you with concern in his eyes. Your pride was getting the best of you because you were going to start this conversation. Jay was probably thinking the same thinking because he wasn’t saying anything either. 

Finally he bit his tongue and spoke up. 

“What the hell is going on” He asked in a soft tone. 

You didn’t really say anything just kept looking down at your hands and playing with your fingers.  He grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze and then you finally looked up at him. 

You didn’t know what to say or know where to start really. So you just took a deep breathe and tried to muster up some strength to start. 

“ I wasn’t lying I mean I legit just found he was using my name to buy weapons okay I was gonna say something” You said. 

“ I did know about the dealing and stuff I just figured it wasn’t that big of a deal” You shrugged. 

“Not that big of a deal we fought to protect to keep people safe now your sleeping with low lives what the hell happened to you” Jay yelled. 

You started feeling the anxiety creep up inside of you. You felt like your breathing was staggering and you felt like you were getting dizzy. You thought you were going to pass out. 

You closed your eyes and tried to calm down but it really wasn’t working. Then you felt these hands wrap around you. They squeezed you tight and you heard him whisper. It sounded like it was really far away. 

“It’s okay I’m here for you.” You heard Jay’s voice soften up. 

He didn’t leave your side and kept your hand on your back trying to soothe you. Finally after a few minutes you started to calm down. 

You looked up at him and didn’t even realise you were crying until you felt the tears on your face. 

You wiped the tears from your face and Jay took his hand and placed it on your face in a conforming manner. 

“I’m here I’m not going anywhere” He said. 

“Thank you” You said in a low soft tone. 

“Why don’t we walk through this together okay me and you” He said 

“ I swear okay I didn’t know about the weapons until like 2  days ago. I found out when I got the letter in the mail saying my background was clear” You said 

“What about the drugs” Jay asked 

You looked at him and nodded and just started crying again. 

He wiped those tears from your face and gave you a smile but his face said it was disappointed. 

“How did we get here” He asked. 

“Things just got bad you know I was struggling and thought if i just ignored it then the problem would go away. “ You said. 

“I get that but I’m here okay you don’t have to do this alone and I can get you some help okay but I also need your help as well.” Jay said. 

“I don’t know you don’t know him like I do” you hesitated. 

“That’s a good thing listen to me this is going to get you free and take a bad guy off the street save lives. This is also going to be a good thing for you a new beginning” Jay said. 

“Yeah yeah” You said 

“Its going to be hard and it’s not going to be easy but you are strong and you are brave and you are going to get through this” Jay said. 

“Okay” You breathed. 

“Tell me everything” Jay said. 

“I know he deals to some white people up North soccer moms and stuff but I don’t know about the weapons” You said. 

“You think he would tell you” Jay said 

“No I don’t think he would but his friends might” You said 

“Okay we will set you up with a wire and get the information that way” Jay said. 

“Yeah sure” You said 

“So that brown hair girl is she your girlfriend” you asked. 

“Yeah she is” Jay said

“Is it serious” You asked 

“Not really i guess we just been hanging out” Jay said. 

“What’s her name” You asked 

“Erin Linsday” Jay said 

“ she seems good for you and You deserve to be happy Jay and if she’s good for you” You said. 

“She’s just not” Jay was saying then the door opened and Erin walked in. 

“We need a statement from her and what’s going on” Erin asked 

“Nothing were just talking” Jay said. 

She looked like she didn’t believe him. She just nodded and walked out. Jay also had a look on his face where it was hard to read what the hell was going on. 

“I’ll be back okay” Jay said 

You nodded and he placed a hand on your shoulder and walked out and shut the door.  You just sat there  and took deep breathes.

You heard from the room there was yelling. 

“jay what the hell are you doing you are leading her this is going to throw this case this is way to personal” The brown hair girl yelled 

“It’s not Erin I told you I am helping her out okay she is not some criminal okay She is my family and she doesn’t deserve to be shoved in some box she earned better than that” Jay said 

You tried not to looka them and gave them their space.

There was a part of you that wasn’t sure if this was even the right move but you know you had to try.  Jay was right people’s lives were in danger and you could risk that. 

It was just hard looking in the mirror and seeing how you got here. Going from being a decorated solider to this a heaping pile of mess. 

The silence  was hard it just made you think about everything which is something you didn’t want to do. 

After what seemed like forever Jay walked back in and he looked at you and smiled. He was holding a small box in his hand. 

“I would say yes but your already seeing someone” You said smiling 

He looked at you and smiled and sat down. 

“Well good to know I have options” He said 

“So what is that thing” You asked 

“ A wire made like a necklace” Jay said. 

‘Yeah so this is real” You said 

“You can say no we will figure it out another way” Jay said 

“No I can handle this” you said looking up and smiling. 

“Hear come here” Jay said 

You both got up and he walked over and you turned to him and pulled your hair up. He put the necklace on you. 

You turned back and smiled at him 

“You ready to roll out” Jay said. 

“Yeah let’s do it I can text Jimmy to meet me down at the bar we hang” You said 

“Okay sounds like a plan I’ll let the team know we gotta get ready so you can hang at my desk while we go gear up” Jay said. 

You both walked out the room and you Jay walked you over to his desk. You sat down looking at the picture you saw earlier. Wondering what the hell had happened to you. 

The rest of his team all kind of scattered not really acknowledging you. Then after a little bit Jay signalled for you to come on. 

You walked out with him and Erin and got back into the same car as before. It was  quiet as no one was saying anything. 

After giving Jay address you all left to headed out. 

“Are you sure he’s gonna even be there” Erin asked

“Yeah I’m sure he practically lives there” You said. 

She didn’t say anything after that but her and Jay glanced looked at each other. 

The car ride was silent and the ride took a little bit to get there. It was just one of those neighbourhood bars. That sat on the corner and if you weren’t a regular you sat out like a sore thumb. 

Jay pulled up and you and Erin looked back at you with a serious look. 

“You got this” Erin asked

“I’m fine okay I was a ranger” You said not liking the tone she asked or maybe you were reading into it. 

You got out and walked over to the door. You stopped and closed your eyes for a minute taking a breath. 

Then walked in and looked around looking for Jimmy.  He was sitting at a table already a few beers in. 

You walked over and sat down in front of him. You grabbed a beer and started drinking and Jimmy looked at you and smiled. 

“Y/N how you doing where’s your man” He asked 

“Busy he sent me to talk about the plan” You said 

Jimmy looked up at you with a look on his face. 

“What plans Y/N” He asked 

“Come on man I know about the arms that’s it But Keith asked me to ask you about the plans he was drunk as hell but you know me” You said .

“Your right” Jimmy said 

“I do know you and you never really cared about this before always kept in the shadows why should I believe you” Jimmy asked 

“Fair point but look okay I got denied my VA benefits the one’s I been fighting for. All that trauma for nothing so now there gonna pay” You said.

“I like that so listen we got the weapons. Okay were planning to hit the Recruitment centres and then we got plans for some government buildings” Jimmy said 

“The guns where are they” You asked 

“Down in the basement at my place” Jimmy said 

“Good it’s a plan” You said 

You both sat and talked for a little bit more. To make it seem like you weren’t just fishing. The hate this man talked about it was disgusting. 

After a little bit you pulled out and headed back to the car. Jay was smiling at you and Erin even looked a little impressed 

“Nice job Y/N I knew you still had balls” Jay said. 

“See i told you i Had it” You said 

“So where to now” You asked 

“Were getting you home we deal with the rest” Jay said 

You just nodded and looked outside the window. It felt like you were getting a small part of you back. 

Finally you made it home and Jay got out and walked you out. You both walked up to your front door. 

Jay smiled at you and you smiled back and you both let out a laugh

“So what now” You asked 

“I told you I’m getting you help. I will be here every step of the way for you. I know the old you will come back and I’m so excited for her to” Jay said 

“Yeah I am to and thank you for everything” You said 

“Of course were family and everything that comes after” Jay 

“And everything that comes after” You said. 

You both pulled into a hug and when Jay let you go he kissed the top of you head. 

“Good night Jay” You said 

“Good Night Y/N” Jay said 

You walked in after that. You threw your stuff down and headed in. You looked around the house and cleaned it. From top to bottom. Then you took a shower and washed it all off. Everything felt like it was a brand new start to the next chapter of your life.

[enchantedblackrose]

5 Sentences Game - Mouse

'I saw you with him, he's in love with you you know'

"I saw you with him, he's in love with you, you know."

There was no question in Greg's voice, rather he spoke nonchalantly, but you knew there was more left unsaid.

You roll your eyes, tired of the jealousy. "I've told you. I feed him. Of course he's in love with me."

"But Rascal is my dog," Greg pouts. "Come on buddy. Let's play ball." He waves the toy in his hand attempting to entice the animal away from you. The canine in question lifts his head from your lap, tilts his head in Greg's direction, lets out a low gruff, before resuming his previous position. Greg walks away pouting while you laugh.