#that i worked on for hours over the course of 2 days

[amyispxnk]

My Kind of Woman

Chapter 7: You finally find, you and I Collide.

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Series summary - Your song captivates Joel the second he hears you that night in Jackson, but he struggles to work up the courage to confess his feelings. With some (very heavy) encouragement from Ellie and Tommy, you two get closer and closer until he finally thinks he’s ready.

Chapter summary - Ellie turns 16, and the night goes even better than you and Joel had planned.

A/N: GUYS YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH SCREAMING AND GIGGLING TOOK PLACE WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER. TRUST YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED.

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: fluff, dirty dirty thoughts, masturbation (f+m), language

DO NOT COPY THIS FIC IN ANY WAY PLS AND TY.

Planning for Ellie’s birthday was challenging, but not because of the actual party. No. It was because of how much time you were spending with Joel.

It was really testing you, especially when he’d do things like turn up at your house with flowers or a pastry - jus’ a little thank you for all the help, y’know - he’d tell you, or when he invited you to his house and you’d turn up to him freshly out of the shower, hair damp and skin glistening, the water droplets clinging to him and just begging to be licked off.

Or like right now, as he was almost curled around you showing you the chords to a new song on the guitar.

For Ellie’s birthday, you of course suggested singing something for her; and it wouldn’t just be a simple ‘happy birthday’ (although you did plan on embarrassing her with that at some point during the event), it would be a version of one of her favourite songs - Take On Me.

Joel told you she listened to it all the time on her Walkman and even asked him to teach it to her, but she just couldn’t grasp all of the bar chords it required.

You could though, but still with some difficulty, resulting in Joel having to put his hand on yours to guide you through the motions, resulting in you practically in his lap as he manoeuvres this, and resulting in you being so flustered you can’t help but mess up the chords over and over again, causing the cycle to continue.

“Can we take a minute?” You ask, trying not to huff in frustration as you strum yet another muted note, fingers not quite strong enough for it when your brain is so muddled from the proximity with him.

“Sure, darlin’. Wanna do somethin’ else?” He smiles softly. He’s so at ease with you now, and it makes your heart flutter knowing you managed to secure a little bit of Joel’s affection and companionship for yourself. Lord knows it makes about half the female population in Jackson envy you.

You nod, and the two of you discuss the actual event. You decided on the Tipsy Bison, and easily secured a day there considering Joel’s relations to the 2 in charge, and your status as a performer there. Joel will help get Ellie there at around 5, and you and her friends will surprise her.

For decorations, you’ve made a ‘happy birthday!’ banner and a few hanging streamers. You also put in an order for a chocolate cake at the town bakery - Ellie’s favourite flavour according to Joel.

About 2 hours later, you’ve managed to get through the song a few times with him, and he’s left you with his handwritten sheet music to practice. As he uses the bathroom, you war with yourself in your mind because, you’re staring at the music right now and getting giddy thinking about the fact that he hand wrote the entire song out for you, and you’re blushing because his handwriting looks so good. You know it’s stupid and keep trying to snap yourself out of it, but your heart keeps thumping in your chest, telling you how special this all is and how much all this time spent together must mean.

He comes out of the bathroom and you can’t help but ask if he wants to stay for dinner. He says yes, of course, and you start cooking up some venison.

You sit down and pour some whiskey for the two of you - a risky move, which you’re fully aware of, but you don’t actually mind at this point. What happens, happens, right? You use this same logic when refilling the glasses.

He’s courteous as always, complimenting your cooking, thanking you for the help with Ellie’s birthday yet again, and offering to wash up afterwards.

“No, no, you’re my guest, Joel. Just sit for a bit. I know I’m exhausted after today.” You sigh, picking up the plates.

“All the more reason I should be cleanin’ up for ya,” he argues, and you just roll your eyes, moving to the sink.

You settle into a peaceful silence. It’s late, you’re ever so slightly drunk, and you’ve had a really long evening. It’s so quiet, in fact, that you let your thoughts wander, and don’t realise he’s coming up behind you until he accidentally nudges your hip, making you shriek and almost drop the mug you were washing.

“Shit, Joel!” You gasp, before dissolving into laughter at how much you overreacted.

“Sorry, hon.” He smiles lazily, making your heart flutter. His thumb tweaks your nose and your brows furrow. “Dunno how you got soap on yer face.” He mumurs, and you blink at him before coming back to your senses.

“Oh! Thanks, sorry.” You squeak, turning back to finish the washing and to hide your blushing face. He comes up next to you to help with drying everything off and your heart is about to burst from your chest by this point because you’ve just realised how domestic you’re both acting right now, how domestic this entire evening was. Talking with him on the couch after drinking coffee together, playing guitar before cooking, eating, and washing up, all together. There wasn’t a moment of discomfort or tension, and you realise just how wonderful he really is. And you realise how badly you want to kiss him, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. He’s zoned out looking at something through your kitchen window, thankfully, so you can look at him a little more clearly. You just want to grab his gorgeous face and kiss him with everything in you. It’s been months of waiting, building all of this tension until you can finally have him. Maybe the alcohol is getting to you, but you’re about to actually act on what you’re thinking when you realise your hands are covered in soap and so are his, and that it’d probably be weird to grab him and get soap all over him, making you sigh and shake your head.

The two of you chat some more about the birthday party before he leaves, and you practically run up to your bedroom, throwing your clothes off and then throwing yourself into the bed.

You hated the apocalypse for many reasons, and one of them was the fact that you still hadn’t managed to find a sex shop with any toys still in working condition. Your fingers would have to do - and right now they were actually working just fine as you worked yourself up, tracing slow circles around your clit and hissing when you finally start applying direct pressure to it, your other hand cupping your breast and teasing your nipple. You close your eyes and imagine it was his calloused fingers roaming your body currently, imagine his lips all over your skin and on your cunt.

Your gasps get higher, louder, and when you finally tip over the edge, it’s his name which floats past your lips. Your entire body trembles as your hips buck from how hard you fuck yourself on your fingers by this point, wanting this orgasm to last as long as possible, your mind conjuring up downright sinful images of you and Joel in this very bed and making you so horny you can barely think.

You finally come down from the high, panting and trembling, and stumble to the bathroom to clean up before falling asleep.

-

Joel’s night doesn’t play out too differently from yours. The whiskey you’d so dangerously decided to supply him with clearly played with his mind, resulting in him getting hard towards the end of the night after bumping into you. He had to touch you in some way, and came up with the weak excuse of something being on your face - there was, but it really wasn’t necessary for him to touch you and get rid of it. He had to restrain himself from cupping your cheek and kissing you right there. Your fucking doe eyes, your parted lips and flushed cheeks were making his efforts to keep from getting hard futile, and he hopes he didn’t seem like he was running away at the end, since he was actually just trying to hide his boner.

He’s thankful Ellie’s already in the garage when he gets home, because he’d genuinely crawl into a hole and die if she saw him in this state - drunk, dishevelled, and horny. He runs up to his room and locks the door behind him, always a little paranoid, before pulling his boxers down and letting his head fall back against the door when he finally wraps his hand around his cock. The precome which falls from the tip already provides some lubrication, but he spits on his hand before continuing to pump himself, imagining what he could’ve done tonight, what could’ve happened in that kitchen.

He could’ve cupped your cheek, pulled you closer and kissed you hard. Your tongues would clash together and you’d melt in his arms as you let him dominate. When you parted from the kiss, cheeks flushed and breathing heavy, you’d look up at him through your eyelashes and-

“Fuckk.” He moans, breaths coming quicker as his mind jumps to the main event of this little fantasy, knees almost buckling as he quickly squeezes the base, trying to stave off his release just a bit longer.

It seems to work and he continues letting his mind wander.

You’d look up at him, wide eyes peering into his as you asked to suck his cock. He’d never make you - in fact, he’d probably just eat you out instead before fucking you - but if you wanted it he wouldn’t deny you.

He’d nod and you’d sink to your knees in front of him, getting to work fast and wrapping those plump lips around his tip, starting to bob your head. His hand matches the pace that your mouth is at in his mind and he groans, hand working over himself even faster and faster until he finally comes, spurting release onto his hands and stomach as his brows draw upward and he gasps your name.

-

July 28th finally rolls around, and you get out of bed unbelievably excited. You love Ellie, and you can’t wait to give her the best surprise ever.

The entire plan works perfectly, and she arrives just after 5 with Joel to the surprise at the Tipsy Bison. After everyone greets her, they sit to listen to your performance.

“Now, before we begin, I just wanted to say a few words for the girl this song is dedicated to,” you start, smiling as your eyes meet Ellie’s, she’s sat at the front of the crowd of course. “Ellie, you are the most wonderful kid I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. You never fail to make my day better, and you always make me laugh - even with that terrible joke book of yours.” She rolls her eyes playfully and there are a few chuckles from the group - clearly she submits everyone she’s close with to the torture of her puns. “We’re all so grateful to have a friend like you, and you deserve the best birthday ever. Hopefully we did a good job.” You chuckle. A few cheers from the crowd, Ellie already beaming before you start playing the song.

When you do begin the song, she actually squeals from excitement, bouncing on her feet. You didn’t know her to act so excitable, especially in public, but it just makes you even more proud since you’d clearly done well by surprising her with this song.

Talking away,

I don’t know what I’m to say

I’ll say it anyway

Today’s another day to find you

Shying away

You don’t want the mood to be too low, although you smile softly at the sight of Ellie and Dina holding hands and murmuring to eachother about something, clearly having a little moment together.. but this is meant to be a party.

So, your strumming gets faster, singing louder and increasing in speed too, as you get some cheers from the crowd, a grin spreading across your face when you hear Joel’s encouragement too. Some people sing along, and people eventually start swaying and dancing. You take a little pause afterwards as people socialise, putting a song on the jukebox and setting your guitar down, sipping some water.

Ellie comes up to the stage with Joel, her smile so wide it prompts your own. You love making people happy, especially kids, and especially this kid.

“That was so fucking awesome! Thank you so much!” She beams, coming up to you and hugging you tight. Your brows raise and you hug her back, meeting Joel’s eyes. He has that look in his eyes you’ve noticed a lot more recently. You refuse to believe it’s the look of love, but.. what else would it be, really? It’s definitely some sort of affection for you, seeing you bonding so well with his surrogate daughter.

“That’s okay, honey. I’m really glad you liked it.” You say, and she thanks you again before requesting another song by A-ha, and you nod, recalling how to play it thankfully, before she leaves to go talk with her friends.

You sigh happily as you watch her go, beyond pleased with the outcome of the party, almost forgetting Joel who still stands before you.

“You were amazing, sweetheart.” He says, still smiling, making you blush when you thank him.

“‘s all thanks to you, Joel. You taught me the song.”

He hums, hands in his pockets. “But you played it up there, and you did it so well.”

“I guess…” You mumble, still a shy reciprocant of praise even after playing and performing in Jackson for all these years.

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short. You’re a real star.” He says, voice a little softer now, just intelligible over the music. You meet his eyes, so earnest and warm as they gaze into your own, and your breath catches.

“Thank you.” You say at last, smiling bashfully.

An hour later, some alcohol in pretty much everyone’s systems (even Ellie’s, after much pleading with Joel, arguing that 16 is basically 18 and that it’s the apocalypse anyway, man!) and your singing session over, the jukebox takes over and plays songs randomly. You sigh wistfully when ‘Collide’ plays, reminding you of that night not so long ago with Joel. The first of many perfect nights spent with him. He seems to have the same thought as he meets your eyes across the room.

Thank fuck for the alcohol, you think, when he comes up to you and boldly asks for a dance. There are people still on the dance floor, mindlessly chatting and dancing, so it wouldn’t be too obvious or embarrassing, you figure, nodding and taking his hand. You almost shudder at the feeling of it - have you even held his hand until now..? You don’t think so. But you still manage to control yourself.

That control flies out the window when you actually start dancing. The song isn’t exactly made for slow dancing, but you’re still close, and you know you’re close enough for him to see you blushing. You don’t really know what possesses you, because after a few murmured words, looking up at him as you dance, you’re taking his hand and somehow dragging him outside. Nobody even notices, and you’re thankful for it, unsure of how to navigate things after you finally do it.

You finally kiss him.

You get outside of the Tipsy Bison, soft orange light painting your faces, a cool breeze in the air. You exhale shakily, thinking of what to say before looking back up at him. All logic and thought fly out of your mind when you meet his eyes. They’re glowing in the sunlight, yet his pupils are so dilated as he looks at you. You can’t think straight and all your mind - no, your heart - is telling you to do is to just kiss him.

So you do, and it feels perfect.

Months, months of torturous waiting for this moment, and it’s actually fucking perfect.

He’s stunned for a second before he’s kissing you back hungrily, a hand tangling in your hair and the other wrapping around your waist, spinning and pinning you back against the wall. You moan softly as he presses into you, forgetting himself briefly.

The soft sound brings him back, though, and he parts from you, forehead resting against yours as he pants softly. You giggle, adrenaline high, and he smiles, huffing a little laugh.

“Well, shit.” A voice comes from your side, and you squeak, eyes shutting before you turn to see Ellie. She’s grinning as you squirm, the cheeky little bugger.

“Ellie-” Joel begins, suddenly sobering up, worried that Ellie won’t be comfortable with this at all.

She is though, laughing to herself before muttering “fucking finally” and heading back inside.

“She’s not wrong,” you murmur, still smiling, “that took us way too long.”

He nods, agreeing before kissing you again, a little softer this time, but it still makes you weak in the knees.

If he wasn’t drunk, and it wasn’t Ellie’s party right now, he’d definitely ask to take you home.. But he can’t tonight. You don’t ask either, probably in the same thought process as he is.

That doesn’t stop you from spending the rest of the evening together, chatting with friends here and there, but being inseparable otherwise.

It definitely doesn’t stop you both from darting back outside at least 5 more times during the night to make out like a pair of horny teenagers, either.

Thank you sm for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated <3

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[y-so-hungry]

Joppa Stew

A commission for the lovely @the-elusive-libbin! Their commission was for 2 characters in T//he B//ad B//atch and their self-insert OC Lily! I did go over the required wordcount for what they paid lol, I just got so excited for it haha! I hope you all like it!

CW: hunger (LOTS), mild stuffing, and a couple of very embarrassed clones lol. Also this is S//tar W//ars, and I'm not SUPER familiar with it so I tried my best with the descriptions, and I'll have you know Joppa Stew IS an actual food in that universe. I did the googles its there

Hunter and Crosshair trudged into the base after a particularly long day. The mission itself had gone… fine, ish, but complications had made it go on for far longer than Hunter had anticipated. As such they hadn’t been given proper rations and well… Crosshair’s stomach has been rumbling for hours now. Not loud enough for a normal person to hear really, but he knew Crosshair was hungry. 

Hunter was hungry too, if he was honest with himself. But that was rare, so he wasn’t hungry, not the slightest bit. His stomach wasn’t even growling. Or… not loud enough for anyone to hear, which is what was most important. Technically now that they were back home at the base they could eat… but Hunter had a feeling that wouldn’t be happening. He had far too much work to do, and Crosshair himself looked bone-tired. Neither of them had the energy to cook, even if they wanted to. Needed to, with the way Crosshair’s stomach was beginning to sound. 

Hunter smiled at Lily as he entered the living area, and headed to his workspace against the wall. Inside, the base was a mix of military efficiency and scrappy improvisation. The main room was a large, cavernous space with rusted durasteel walls and exposed wiring, dimly lit by flickering overhead lights. On one side, a long, makeshift table made up Hunter’s workspace, and it was littered with datapads, empty ration wrappers, and scattered gear. On the other side was a more comfortable space, complete with a couch, coffee table, and Lily herself. 

 She was sitting on the couch there, a drawing pad in her lap, and when she looked up she blew a strand of grey hair out of her eyes as she waved at them. Crosshair was silent as usual, but waved back, then flopped down on the couch next to her, laying down so his legs hung over the armrest and his head was right next to her legs. 

“Good mission?” she asked cheerfully. 

“Mhm,” Crosshair grunted. 

“You two were gone a long time.”

“Mhm.”

“Did you get the bad guys?”

“Mhm.”

“Did you have fun?”

“Mmmm… mm-mm,” Crosshair said with a slight shake of his head.

“No? I’m sorry,” Lily said, running her hand through his short cropped hair. “Well you’re home now, you can relax.” Crosshair grunted a laugh. 

“Knowin’ Hunter he’s just gonna keep working. Reports ‘n mission logs, all that,” he said, cracking open an eye to look at Hunter. Hunter looked back at Crosshair with a tired smile. 

“Someone’s gotta do it,” he said. “You rest.”

Crosshair laughed. “You know him,” he muttered to Lily, though Hunter could still hear. “Always gotta be a big damn hero.”

Crosshair fell silent after that, except for the hungry rumbling in his stomach that Hunter could still hear. It didn’t seem to be quite loud enough for anyone else to yet though, and neither was Hunter’s stomach yet, despite how hungry he was. 

That’s how it went for about an hour. Crosshair dozing on the couch, Lily drawing next to him, Hunter working on mission logs and reports. The hum of a nearby generator provided a low, constant background noise, blending with the occasional drip of water from the cavernous ceiling. That, and of course all the while he can hear his and Crosshair’s stomach giving soft, hungry little gurgles. Every once in a while he felt his stomach clench particularly hard and he’d hold his breath, desperately trying to hide his hunger, and hoping his stomach wouldn’t rumble too loud. He tried to concentrate, but his mind just kept drifting to food…

Warm juicy meat, steaming thick stews, dense aromatic bread, visions of these filled Hunter’s head as he tried to work, and made his mouth water. His stomach clenched, shifting and gurgling with hunger as the images worked into his mind outside his will. It all looked so good, so filling. He took a few drinks of water, hoping it would keep his stomach quiet, but it only made his hunger sharper. 

But as it turns out, he didn’t exactly need to worry about his stomach deciding to make itself known, as a loud, desperate rumbling noise came from behind him. 

Crosshair grimaced as his stomach gave a plaintive growl, his face turning red. His eyes were already closed but he somehow wished he could close them more, like it would help with the embarrassment. 

“Crosshair?” Lily’s voice came from above him. “Are you hungry?”

“Mm-mm,” Crosshair said immediately, shaking his head again. Maybe she would think it’s just a noise from the base. Usually the walls settling didn’t sound like a stomach, but she might believe it if–

Grooooooowwwwwlll

…If his stomach didn’t decide to do it again. 

“It’s no use lying, Crosshair,” Hunter said. “I’ve been listening to your stomach rumbling for hours anyways. You’re starved.”

“Oh and you’re doing so much better, are you?” Crosshair snapped, looking up at Hunter. Hunter opened his mouth to speak, but it seems his stomach decided to fill in for him, as it too gave a starved rumble, forcing him to place a hand on his belly. He grimaced as well, and if it weren’t for his slightly darker skin then he would be just as red as Crosshair was now. 

“Hours??” Lily asked, looking down at Crosshair in surprise. Crosshair laid a hand protectively over his middle and spoke, not meeting her eyes. If he had though, he would’ve seen what Hunter did, which was a small blush coloring her cheeks, and a sparkle of interest in her eyes. 

“We didn’t have enough rations for this mission, it took longer than we thought,” Crosshair said. “They only give us so many for each mission, so… we ran out.”

Lily’s eyes followed as she heard Crosshair’s stomach rumble again, and he rubbed his hand over it. He could feel the vibration under his hand, his stomach was really begging now…

“When was the last time you ate?” she asked, looking up at Hunter this time. Again, that spark of interest was in her eye, but Hunter couldn’t tell if it was concern or… something else.

“Lily really, don’t worry, it’s not–” Hunter’s stomach cut him off with a deep groan, and his flush got deeper. “...Yesterday. At lunch, that was when the ration packs ran out.”

Lily’s blush deepened as her eyes immediately jumped to his belly, and it confirmed Hunter’s suspicions. She was enjoying this. She did seem concerned, a bit, but there was some part of her that seemed to enjoy their hunger. He smirked a little, and watched as her eyes grew a little wider when he placed his hand on his stomach, and started rubbing it. 

“Wow, you must be starving,” Lily said, her eyes still trained on Hunter’s stomach. Crosshair pulled a face however, and shook his head again. 

“It’s really not bad, I’m not that hungry,” he said. His stomach gave a low moan however, rumbling out its displeasure plainly. He sighed and punched a fist into his stomach, swearing under his breath. 

“Well don’t do that!” Lily exclaimed, and she quickly pulled Crosshair’s arm away and put her hand on his belly, giving it soft, gentle rubs. She could feel his stomach growling under her hand, starved rumbles making his way through his abdomen even though not all of them were audible. He felt just as hungry as he sounded, and her face flushed even harder as she stared at his belly. 

Crosshair himself however stared up at her in confusion, looking from his stomach to her face and back again. It felt… good, to have her rub his belly. He hated it, in a way, his stomach growling was just so embarrassing, but her rubbing his abdomen… that might not be so bad. It certainly helped with the feeling of hunger at least. It didn’t exactly ease his hunger, but the pressure felt rather nice. 

At least, until it caused a deep, starved growl to erupt from his stomach, so loud that she could surely feel it in her fingers, and he could feel it reverberate in his ribcage. He pressed his hand over hers, pushing her hand deeper into his stomach as he gave a small groan alongside his stomach. Hunter was right, there wasn’t much use in denying it anymore. She could feel it just as much as he could. 

“I’m starving,” Crosshair mumbled. 

Lily herself felt like she could barely conceal her excitement. The feeling of Crosshair’s stomach against her hand–was she gonna pass out? Fainting from hunger that’s not even her own, how silly that would be! How red was her face? It felt like it was on fire. She was going to combust, right here on the couch. Maybe the smell of the smoke would make their bellies growl louder…

Lily shook herself and snapped back to reality, looking down at Crosshair’s belly rumbling against her hand. 

“Y-You poor things!” Lily exclaimed, putting a hand to her cheek in an attempt to get it to cool down. “I should make you something to eat! Y-You both must be too tired to make anything–I-I can make whatever you want!”

“Joppa stew,” Hunter said immediately. Crosshair and Lily looked back up at him in time to see him clutch his belly as it growled at the mention of the food. He kept his eyes on Lily though, an analytical look in them. 

“J-Joppa stew?” she asked. 

“Doesn’t that take an hour or two to make?” Crosshair spoke up. “Couldn’t we–”

“No, no I think what we really need is some Joppa stew,” Hunter said, giving Crosshair a look. Crosshair frowned at him, but nodded. 

“Yeah, uh, actually that does sound pretty good right about now Lily,” he says. His stomach rumbles again, clearly disagreeing and definitely wanting something at more of the NOW time, but Lily jumped up anyways. 

“I-I’ll go get started!” she said, and she scurried into the kitchen area. Crosshair swung his legs off the armrest and sat up, glaring at Hunter. 

“What the hell? I’m damn near starving over here and you go and tell her to make something that will take until midnight to get done?” he says. His middle gives another growl and he gives it another punch, snapping at it under his breath as his face turns a brighter red. 

“She told ya not to do that,” Hunter said, gesturing at the fist in Crosshair’s stomach. “And if you hadn’t noticed,” he said, leaning down to speak in a lower tone to him, “our Lily seems to be enjoying this.”

Crosshair frowns and looks up at him. 

“Enjoying what?”

“This,” Hunter says, pressing a couple fingers into his stomach and causing it to growl deeply. Crosshair’s eyes widened, but he looked at Hunter like he was crazy. 

“I–What? No, she’s not–” he looked in the direction that Lily left, then back at Hunter. “Is… is that why she put her hand…?” 

“Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy that too,” Hunter said with a laugh. “I saw your face. You liked that just as much as she did.” He gave Crosshair’s belly a poke, earning a distressed gurgle in return. “Who knew the tough guy here liked belly rubs?”

“Shut–I do not!” Crosshair snapped, but his face turned a brighter red than it had all day. Another growl erupted from his abdomen at that moment, and he quickly clutched his middle and stood up. “I’m going to the kitchen.”

Hunter laughed and followed him in. 

The kitchen corner of the base was a modest but functional setup, tucked away in an alcove near the common area. It had clearly been pieced together from salvaged parts and repurposed equipment. The centerpiece was a battered but sturdy cooking unit, its surface blackened from years of use. The controls were a mix of original knobs and makeshift replacements—some patched with tape, others replaced with scavenged components from droid panels.

A few shelves lined the walls. They were stocked with an eclectic mix of supplies: ration packs, jars of pickled alien fruits, vacuum-sealed grains, and an assortment of spices in mismatched containers. Hanging from hooks along the wall were an array of cooking utensils, from long-handled ladles to a thin knife for precision cutting.

A small, round dining table sat nearby, its surface scratched but clean, surrounded by mismatched chairs scavenged from across the galaxy. The air carried a permanent medley of scents—burnt spices, roasted meat, and old ration packs.

Just the faint smell of food was enough to make Hunter and Crosshair’s stomachs growl loudly, reverberating around the kitchen. Both raised a hand to rub at their bellies, not that it helped much. Hunter actually knew for a fact that it only made a person hungrier, rubbing their stomach. He’d spent plenty of time nursing a starved middle when he wasn’t given enough rations for a mission, like on this one. 

Lily looked up from her spot at the counter at the sound of their hunger, and she grinned widely. “I’m almost done cutting up the vegetables for the stew! And I’ll get to work on cooking the meat soon–You guys are going to love it, it’ll taste so much better than those dry ration packs. No ‘nutritional cubes’ in this, this is real food!”

Hunter’s stomach moaned desperately at this, and by this point he’d learned not to take his hand away from his middle. Not only did it help just for rubbing it, but Lily seemed to be particularly entranced when he did so. He pressed his fingers into his belly, causing the growl to be drawn out for longer, crying out so desperately for food. 

“Damn, you really are hungry, huh Hunter?” Crosshair teased. He was sitting at a stool by the counter, directly across from where Lily was cutting up the food. Hunter sighed and sat next to him. 

“Starved,” he said, unwilling to deny or avoid it any longer. “My stomach’s been growling non-stop all day. Even last night, when I was trying to sleep. I’m surprised it didn’t wake up Crosshair in the middle of the night with how loud it was.”

“It was loud?” Lily asked, dumping the vegetables in a pot of water. Hunter smiled. 

“Not as loud as it is now, but it was rumbling so much it felt like my stomach was shaking,” he said. “I bet if you touched it now, you’d feel it shaking.”

Lily nearly dropped her cutting board trying to set it down, squeaking a little in surprise. 

“I-If I touched it!?” she squeaked. “O-Oh my–you–I–um–”

“You know I think you’re right, Hunter,” Crosshair said, laughing a little. “I think she does like this! You like this don’t you?”

“Wh–I don’t know what you’re talking about!!” Lily stammered, and she quickly turned back to the pot on the stove and stirred the broth, letting steam fill the air. The smell caused Crosshair’s belly to growl deeply, making him press his fist into it rather hard. He seems to have compromised punching his stomach with simply being rough with it. Still, Lily didn’t seem to think that was enough. 

“I-I told you to stop that!” she said, her voice somehow still nervous but stern at the same time. Crosshair rolled his eyes at her. 

“If you want someone to be gentle with it, you’re gonna have to find a gentle person to do that instead, I’m too hungry to be patient with it right now!” he snapped. Hunter raised an eyebrow. 

“Crosshair, you can just tell her what you want, you know,” Hunter said. “She clearly likes rubbing your stomach already, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind doing it again.”

Both Crosshair and Lily went so red in their faces Hunter was sure they’d both combust into fire right in the kitchen. 

“WHAT–No, no I do not need any more–I’m perfectly fine!” Crosshair stammered quickly, but his stomach gave another desperate growl at that moment, so loud that it echoed around the room. In that moment Crosshair sighed and rubbed his brow, still red in the face but also still unwilling to admit what he wanted. Hunter laughed and addressed Lily. 

“He did like what you did back there. He won’t admit it, but if you rubbed his belly after you were done with the food, I’m sure he’d be happier than ever. Or, as happy as Crosshair can get,” Hunter said, nudging his friend in the shoulder. Crosshair looked at Hunter with a glare, as he so often did, but his eyes softened when they fell on Lily. 

He shrugged, as if to say “he’s not wrong.”

And Lily grinned widely, her face still flushed, and started again on their food. They teased each other over how loud their stomachs were beginning to be as the cooking process went on, Crosshair and Hunter both swallowing hard as their mouths watered, desperate growls filling in any space not occupied by words. Just when they thought it couldn’t get worse though, Lily started cooking the meat. 

The sound that their stomachs made was so loud that Hunter was certain he could feel it in the chair he was sitting on, and he was only barely keeping himself from drooling. He was so hungry, all he could think about was how desperately he wanted that food. His stomach whined and pleaded for it, growling like a starved animal in a cave. 

And when the food was finally placed in front of him… you’d think those two hadn’t eaten in days. Especially Crosshair, who’s stomach was now being rubbed by Lily, only coaxing more and more famished growls from his belly. 

“Fuck, I’m so hungry,” Crosshair moaned as he ate his stew quickly. His stomach grumbled heavily under Lily’s fingers, growling loudly even though he was eating, like it was digesting so fast he couldn’t keep up. They had second helpings. Thirds. Fourths. Crosshair himself needed a fifth, with how desperate his stomach had become from Lily’s gentle rubbing. 

By the end their bellies had swelled out so much they stuck out tight against their uniforms, gurgling happily with all the food packed inside. Hunter felt Lily reach out and give his swollen middle a soft rub, and he smiled at the quiet gurgles it emitted. Lily led them back to the couch with a smile, and she had them lay down next to her, rubbing their swollen bellies until they finally got the rest they deserved. 

[theshiftingwitch]

Can you share about your Manifestations that made you realise that you manifested it and it was not just a co-incidence or something?

Also can you share a bit about your shifting experience, where you went, how long you stayed and any other stuff that you don't mind sharing?

BTW just came across your blog and loving it till now !!

1- manifesting success story:

My mother and her siblings inherited a house from my late grandfather that has been on the market for over 6 years. They have wanted to sell that house for years but no one was interested. I only discovered the law of assumption a year ago but really got into it this summer, so I decided to give it a try. And I assumed that the house has finally sold. A couple of days later they got their first buyer in 6 years. Unfortunately, the price they offered was not enough for everyone. But they thought that they had no other choice and they were going to sell it because it's already been so long. So I decided that it was sold for twice the price. I told my mother to tell her siblings to hold on and wait a little longer because they were going to get another buyer who was going to give them double the price of the first buyer. My mom wasn't convinced but she decided to play along because it's already been 6 years so what does she have to lose? Two weeks later they get a new buyer who offered them the exact amount I told her down to the pennies. They sold it immediately.

Now if that sounds like a coincidence to you, I really don't know what else to say.

2- my shifting experience:

Like most shifters, I discovered shifting through tiktok in 2020. I was immediately intrigued by the idea but decided not to try it because I thought that I was going to have to shift back one day and leave those lives behind and I was going to miss all of those people and I would rather not get my heart broken over several realities in several universes. It wasn't until November of 2021 that I finally decided to give it a try because I thought it was worth being happy even if it was for a short amount of time rather than stay in this reality and be miserable for the rest of my life. Of course by that time I was riddled with tiktok misinformation and made my journey a whole lot harder than it needed to be.

Then comes the summer, and I decided to use the law of assumption to try and shift. I made subliminals, I made Affirmation tapes, I assumed I was in my desired reality ( kept changing which reality I wanted because I had too many) and decided to just go with it.

A couple of weeks later, I took a nap, and I woke up in my better CR dr. I stayed there for 4 months, came back here and found out that only 4 hours had passed. That reality was similar to this one, except I was famous which is something I've always wanted to be. I decided to shift back here because I wanted to see if I would be stuck. Like I had said, I had a lot of misinformation rattling around in my brain, so I decided to see if there was any merit to the idea of getting stuck in another reality. Spoiler alert: there isn't. I wasn't stuck. I shifted back. And now I'm working to shift to my main realities which are purely "fictional".

The thing that stood out to me the most, and this is the thing that makes me irrationally angry with most shifters, is that when I shifted I didn't freak out. I didn't feel like I was having this out of body experience, I didn't feel like I finally made it, I didn't explode with joy when I saw the people in my life that I scripted to be there. It all felt very natural, very real, and very mundane. Like something I have been living my entire life. You don't wake up in your current reality and you scream for joy when you see your mom or your cat or your boyfriend, because you have been seeing them for months if not years if not your entire life. The entire thing felt very peaceful, and very natural. And it freaked me out when I came back because like I said I have been on tiktok for a long time and I kept seeing those shifters who had these povs and these scenarios about how they freaked out when they saw their significant others or were disoriented and dizzy when they woke up in another reality and they didn't know where they were and they almost blew their cover and everyone was like " are you okay? is everything okay ? what's happening to you? why are you so pale?"

Something else I had noticed is that I didn't carry my current reality self with me. And I talk about this a lot in my blog posts, but when I shifted, I didn't have this voice in the back of my brain narrating everything and relating it back to my current reality as if my awareness is somehow attached to this self. I wasn't thinking about "oh this is something happening because I scripted it" or "this is going exactly according to plan" or "I can't believe I finally made it and I can't wait to tell everyone back in my current reality about this experience"... I wasn't the me I left back in my current reality. I was completely and utterly the person I scripted, the person I was in my other reality. I thought like her, I felt her emotions, and they were completely different from the ones I had back in my current reality. And that makes perfect sense because like I said in another post, I wasn't cosplaying being a different person, I was that person. I was that version of myself. I have livef as that version of myself for years, I was just not aware of it. And when you become aware of a different version of yourself, you don't stand and observe back with the lens of your current reality self, you are totally immersed in that experience as your other version, you are not split into two where you are living as your desired reality self but your mind and your subconscious are operating like your current reality self. There is no divide. I was me in that reality, and the only reason I shifted back is because I was aware of the shift. It wasn't because I was aware of my current reality self, it was because I was aware that shifting was a thing. That was it.

I hope this all made sense and I hope it could help baby shifters and manifestors with they journey!

Happy manifesting ❤️

[kiestrokes]

Day 19: Say My Name Pt. 2 | SWF-ish

▸ Idol: Jeong Yunho of ATEEZ ▸ Rating: SFW-ish. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. ▸ Genre: active WIP, smut, discussion of threesomes, polyamory, fratyboy AU. ▸ Vibe: Yunho shows up seeking some help with his…Mingi situation.

Read Part One Here!

▸ Warnings: language, feelings, tbd if they’re reciprocated.

Sexually Explicit Content: discussing of taking anal virginities, illusions to future threesomes.

🗝️ Note: Has not beta-ed by me or anyone else. THIS IS A WIP! (it is being posted for my wipmas.) It is not complete; this is very much a rough outline/first run through. Probably the most “outline” of outlines you’ll see during wipmas.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

「 25 Hours: Hard, Soft and WIP-mas Masterlist 」

With all the rush festivities, first round of exams and other things you and your friends' schedules didn’t quite line up as easily as previous semesters. Which made spending time together, attending more parties and hooking up obsolete after your initial rendezvous with Mingi. 

The most action you were getting is heated texts from Mingi and the occasional tease of him and Yunho in your secret group chat. 

So you’re caught off guard when Yunho shows up at your dorm one Monday night. You’re in full gremlin mode. Wearing your favorite sweats and hoodie to beat out the November chill. Hair in two fraying braids. 

“Hi,” His grin blooms along with the fluttering of your heart and he steps inside to scoop you into a hug.

Yunho presses his nose against your hair and inhales deeply, squeezing you tighter to his willowy frame.

“Fuck I’ve missed you.”

“You saw me at lunch on Friday!”

“It’s not the same,” he leans back, thumbs digging into your hips.

“Could I stay the night?”

“Of course.”

The two of you settle into your bed together: Yunho tells you about Mingi, the make outs, the dick sucking, the prostate fingering. But he feels like there’s a wall up and doesn’t want to pressure Mingi to take his back door virginity. Start discussing things it could be. You get an “I miss you” text from Mingi and tell Yunho that you guys should hang out at yours when your home for Thanksgiving. Since yours and Yunho’s mom will be in Paris together.

You ask Mingi first.

He agrees, eagerly. 

You and Yunho settle in for the night but you know him and can tell there’s something else he wants to say.

You turn over to fave him on your shared pillow.

“What is it?”

Yunho doesn’t respond right away, instead he brushes wayward strands of hair back from your face. Before his fingertips linger, molding down the bone of your jaw to cup your cheek and stroke your bottom lip with his thumb.

“What if Mingi just isn’t interested in me?”

“Yunho,” you roll your eyes at him, pushing him off to catch your breath.

Yunho tugs you back against his chest, tucking you comfortably, familiarly against his broad frame.

“Things feel so different this year, less playful.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, we are growing up and moving on with our lives.”

You lift your chin to meet his gaze.

“I don’t want to move on from you or Mingi.”

Your throat tightens, as the pause unfurls in the darkened room like night phlox.

“You’re my best friend.”

[followmetoyourdoom]

Chapter 2 now out here on ao3 or below the read more:

Chapter 2 - The Associate

Summary: Delve into Mika's thoughts now on the night before a watch. What secrets might they have uncovered?

---------------------------

Picture this: it's late evening, though it's been dark for hours. Outside a soft flurry of snow swirls in delightful patterns that blur the lights in windows, decorative glowing paper stars illuminating the darkness.

There is a distant laughing and the sound of crunching ice that passes by and catches my attention for a moment.

I sit curled up on a chair by the window, a steaming mug of glögg in my hands and, next to me, a plate licked clean of all but the smallest of gingerbread biscuit and saffron bun crumbs.

Taking a sip, I close my eyes as the warm mulled wine washes over my taste buds.

The fire crackles and, every now and again, pops.

I take another sip and put the mug down, turning my attention to the latest spy novel I've gotten my hands on. A thrilling tale of deception and romance, the main protagonist is deep undercover but there's one person that knows his secret, the one person who loves him most in the world so he must choose between his job and his love.

I can't help but chuckle softly. What a silly premise. The true answer is to pick both, of course.

Next to me there is gentle snoring as my roommate lies stretched out across the entire sofa and then some, catching up on sleep before our shift.

I glance up from my book at him and smile softly. It's funny to think how long we've known each other now. Funnier to think about how much I love him, though I dare not say it. Things are too... perfect, right now. And I'm scared.

I don't want this night to end.

I want the snow to keep up it's steady haphazardous patterns, I want the laughter outside to keep passing by, I want the glögg and the fire to keep me warm, I want to read about mystery and romance until my heart is full.

And I want Him to be next to me for all of it.

As I sit focusing my senses on the present, my mind begins to shift to thoughts of the past instead.

Though sometimes it seems like it was only yesterday, it was six years ago when I first joined the security team for the gävlebocken.

When I started working there, I was warned to look out for a guard called Björn. I was told that his dedication to the goat came before all else. He was stationed there every year, no matter what. That he was cold and withdrawn, and no one had ever been able to get more than a grunt out of him.

I took this as a challenge.

At first I'd just be chatting about my day while on watch, not too much of course, and then I'd notice the little things here and there that he paid most attention to.

I'd admire the goat with him, talk security measures and traps, offer him a lighter.

He doesn't smoke, and never has, but he always seemed to enjoy flicking the flame on and off, on and off. I asked him about it once and he said it was to see the world around him in a new light, that fire had a way of casting everything in warmth and passion.

And so little by little he opened up to me.

We started hanging out together as friends.

He became such a comforting presence to me that it was difficult to stay away. It was difficult to not be next to him whenever I could be.

It was going so well, I almost dared to ask him out. Almost. I could have sworn he liked me.

But then my shitty landlord kicked me and my little Miette out into the street and I had nowhere to go. So I went to him. To Björn.

He welcome us with open arms, despite the sleeping situation.

Though he initially offered to sleep on the couch, I nervously joked that at least we could cuddle for warmth. And since then, that's what we've done.

Of course, the first time was nerve wracking - I hadn't meant for him to take that seriously! I remember being so careful the first few nights and so unsure of whether or not I should clarify the joke aspect of what I'd said.

But I like it. He's warm.

I was only supposed to stay a few weeks until I got back on my feet, until I found my own place again.

It's now been three years.

Björn has been such a welcoming host, and the living arrangement just seemed to work.

He looks at me in a way no other person has ever looked at me before. Although I'm sure we're just roommates and that he doesn't want anything more (he would surely have asked by now afterall) I think I'd be happy if I could spend the rest of my life by his side. In whatever capacity he wanted.

The clock on the mantle piece catches my attention and I'm drawn back to the present. It's a just under half an hour until our shift.

As much as I want time to just stop, I can't live in this particular moment forever.

I can always return to it though.

I smile, thinking about cuddling up together after our shift in front of the fire. That'll be a nice way to see in the next day.

"Björn?" I shake him gently. There's a muffled grunt and then his arm falls to the side of the sofa, his jacket falling open.

A small box tumbles out.

My heart catches in my throat.

The box itself is plain, a simple plain ring box.

A flurry of thoughts rush through my head, like the swirling snow except nothing settles.

Is that what I think it is? Is that for me? Is there someone else I don't know about? Why haven't we spoken about this? I wonder what's inside... Does he kept this on him all the time? How long has he had this? Does he think we're already dating? Does he plan to propose tonight?

The thoughts spin around my head, overlapping each other and repeating, and I'm just caught, frozen, a deer in headlights.

Björn snores loudly and shifts his weight.

In a flash I act. My hands snatch the ring box up and slip it back into his inside pocket. I collect up my mug and plate and scurry across to the kitchen section of the apartment.

"Björn!" I call, loud enough to wake a hibernating bear. "We're going to be late, c'mon!"

He awakes with a loud grunt and I can only hope he doesn't think anything is amiss.

My heart is pounding, my fingers fumbling over soap suds and ceramic chips in paintwork. Focus on the details, steady your breathing. Take it all in, ground yourself. Don't. Freak. Out.

"Ready?"

I jump and hastily put the now cleaned mug and plate on the drying rack. "Mhm! Just need my coat!"

And I'm off again, keeping my distance.

He furrows his brow as I leave, in the same cute way he always does.

I feel a tightness in my chest as I pull my coat on.

I want this, right? Want to stay by his side? In any capacity he wants...

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath.

I can do this, we'll have time tonight to talk about things. Just a nice calm shift under snow and moonlight.

"Ready?" he asks again, holding the door open. His weight shifts between his feet. He's also nervous.

My hands stop shaking, the lump in my throat eases.

I nod. Let's do this.

If you remember this post here about burning the goat via infiltrating the security team and falling in love with a fellow guard, you can now read the first chapter here on Ao3 or under the read more below:

Preaching to the Fire - Chapter 1: The Plan

Summary: Björn has one love in his life and one love only - arson. As a ten year long game plays out, will that change? Delve into Björn's musings and planning as his live long dream unfolds.

---------------------------

The name's Björn. I work security for one of the most dangerous jobs this side of daylight saving hours. Gävle goat protection squad. It's a tiring job. You sit, you watch, you wait for the next squad, you go home. Repeat the next day. Such is the life for this one month of the year. All other months, I am merely security elsewhere. The exact location is unimportant, I do not stay anywhere else for too long. But to the gävlebocken? I always return. The gentle gaze of its barren eyes, the harsh texture of its dried fur. How I long to bathe it in sweet cleansing light. It captivates me, it always has. And now I am close to it, closer than I've ever been. I will always remember that first year, the lurch in my chest as I was shown the security measures. The way my eyes darted back and forth looking for weakness, looking for ways in. It felt so strange to be keeping others away from it, to be the one keeping it safe. Now, it is year five. I have a clean record, the gävlebocken has always been safe under my care. I am the best at what I do. I have to be for The Plan to work. I cannot mention what The Plan entails. Not to anyone, even Mika, one of my fellow guards I've taken a liking to. The way they laugh at my jokes and say that my big strong arms will protect the goat against all that wish it harm... It is difficult not to like them I suppose. This was not a part of the initial plan but, if I can ignore my feelings and look at this from a practical point of view, it could work in my favour. I can win them over, I think. I hope. For the sake of The Plan of course. Yes. No other reason.

---------------------------

Year six, things are going well. Mika and I spend time together outside of work now. We are... friends. They have a cat who likes to sleep in my arms when I visit Mika. Mika also likes to sleep in my arms. I think this means they trust me. A terrible decision on their behalf due to The Plan, of course, but I cannot help but smile softly as they nuzzle against my chest in their sleep. They call me their big teddy bear. Part of me wants to keep my distance. I am developing... Feelings for them. Feelings which complicate The Plan, but I cannot turn back now. I simply remind myself this is good. This gives me fuel to add to my fire, as it were. Their trust is valuable after all. They would never suspect I harbour such a dark secret, such A Plan. We often play little games together when we are on watch, thumb wars, arm wrestles, card games, etc... They are very competitive and I enjoy watching the joy spread across their face when they are about to win. It starts at their eyes, they begin to crinkle ever so slightly and shine with desire. Then their lips twitch, first one corner then the next, and finally freckles get squished together and form new constellations. It is a sight to behold even under the streetlamps. I wonder what they would look like under the gaze of a roaring inferno... Oh if only it were so easy to disconnect myself entirely! The other day I even found myself pondering the taste of those gentle lips and I had to quickly excuse myself from the game. They smirked as I left, I think they know something.

---------------------------

Year seven, Mika is my roommate now, which was strange at first - we only have the one bed, but we got used to it. They say my body warmth is good for the cold we must endure in the winter months. I am not sure what this means for The Plan as a whole. For now I've had to hide a lot of my musings in places they cannot reach such as the top of the fridge, or any shelf at my eye level - though I must be careful with this one, they are good at climbing. The cat also enjoys knocking off items at height. At work I am often regarded as the serious guard in our rota and there is some teasing that Mika has enticed the softie out of me. I would argue the rest never got the time to know me. Surely I do not keep my softest smiles for them... I remember laughing at other times. Here and there. Occasionally. I do not know who I'm kidding, I clearly like them more than a friend. But we live together now! The Plan aside, it would be strange to initiate anything when they cannot leave, would it not? No, I must remain at a safe emotional distance. Besides things are good right now. The other night they cooked a fantastic fillet of fish, they know it is my favourite, and then we settled down together to watch a movie and they fell asleep on my shoulder. I wouldn't want to lose that. Or the way they wrap around my back at night and press close to me. Or the way they make me a sandwich when they are not on watch and they leave me a note. I keep all the notes of course, it would be disrespectful not to. Sometimes it's almost like we are more than just friends... But I think that's just my feelings getting the better of me.

---------------------------

Year eight. There was an attempt at a burning tonight. I almost hesitated, but I did stop them. I must keep my record clean. I must ensure no-one suspects. I told Mika about it when I got home, about how I tackled the would-be arsonist to the ground and held him beneath me as back-up arrived. Mika shook their head with amusement and joked that perhaps they should try burning the goat while I was on duty. Then their eyebrows started acting strange and I got concerned for their wellbeing. They flicked some water from the sink at me and called me 'cute' for my concern. I do not know what this means. Does Mika also have A Plan? Perhaps they would be a valuable ally in this fight... But no, I cannot risk it. Each day that passes I get closer and closer to the date of The Plan. Just two more years. I have notes of all changes, all attempts, all security codes, anything I could possibly need. The only unknown is Mika. They are an entity unlike any other, small yet strong, silly yet serious, tough yet kind. They look adorable in my sweaters that are several sizes too big for them and fiercer than any guard on duty in their uniform. Their duality is so enticing, so exhilarating. I want to tenderly stroke their cheek as we go over The Plan together, I want to hold them as we muse about escape routes. I want them involved in everything I do. But I cannot. They should not be dragged down with me. As we closer to the date of The Plan, I must slowly wean myself from their gentle embrace.

---------------------------

Year nine. In my minds eye I see Mika's hand slip into mine, a burning furnace in their eyes. A band in a box in my hand that flickers with the golden and copper light of a simmering blaze behind us. The scent of burning straw fills the air, and our noses wrinkle in joking disgust. There is no one else around, it's just the two of us. I get down on one knee, speak four words, and in my dreams they say yes. I now fear I am in too deep. The ring sits heavy in my pocket. I keep it with me wherever I go. Just in case. I love Mika dearly, wholly, there is only one love that meets them but does not surpass them, and it is ever present in all of my dreams about us becoming us. Could I chose that moment? It would certainly be memorable. Granted, that's if they approve of The Plan, for I have to follow through with it, even now, of course I do. Not out of obligation or out of sunken cost fallacy, but because I want to. Though my dreams have been added to, that one dream has not changed. Mika lies across my lap, sleeping soundly. I stroke their hair and my hand shakes. I do not want them to think less of me. I do not want them to hate me. I wish I could tell them. I wish I could ask them. The words get stuck in my throat everytime I try to say anything about either dream which are now the same dream rolled up together. They murmur softly in their sleep and I wonder if we share any parts of our dreams. What if, after all this time, after all these moments, Mika thinks of me as nothing more than a friend? As I ponder this I find that idea is not as terrifying as the idea of them hating me for committing a crime they would find abhorrent. If they wish to remain friends then friends we shall remain, it is as simple as that. I suppose only time will tell.

---------------------------

This is the year, year ten. A perfect track record. If we ignore the birds. Under my care we have never lost the goat. Under my dear Mika's care, the same. Tonight we are scheduled in to guard the goat together, 2am - 6am. Tonight is when I put The Plan into motion. Tonight, the weight in my heart and my pocket will ease, one way or another. Mika does not know. I could not bring myself to tell them. We are getting ready to sleep before our shift. I can heard them humming a song through toothpaste. It's hard to believe this might be the last time I hear that muffled refrain. I'm hesitating again. I could just pass this journal over as they walk through the bedroom door. I could offer up my life's work and let it hang in the balance, out of my love for them. But my other love tugs at my heart strings, though they are so different there is no comparison. I cannot choose between them. I can only combine them. So tonight will be a night of burning love.

[cellsshapedlikestars]

It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghost wolf, big as mountains.

So a few days ago I decided to start learning how to do digital drawing. Now, I don't think art is anything I have a huge passion for, so who knows if I'll pursue it, but I had a ton of fun making this.

A few disclaimers:

-i was using a reference panel from a manga as the base pose bc how do bodies work?? And I was mostly just trying to figure out how to use the art program/pen. Unfortunately, I was clicking through lots of pages/images and cannot for the life of me remember what the manga was or where I got the image. I almost didn't post this because I wouldn't be able to credit them, but I will say, it's only the pose & hair shape that I used, everything else I did on my own. You can tell by how sloppy it is :)

-dont @ me about the shaky lines and poorly drawn bricks. Idc I had FUN and that's all that matters right? RIGHT?

-the wolf shadow is free clipart lol. I tried to draw my own but ya girl is NOT there yet

-why is Sansa in a sky cell?? Who knows. Trying to hide from LF probably. She's also growing out her hair in defiance bc why not

-ooh or maybe it's an au/future fic where sansa is put in the sky cells for something. and maybe a ghost wolf comes to get her out. who knows

[seilon]

love when this is referred to as the gifted kid website. shockingly my mental disorders made me mentally disordered and school never really vibed with that so. couldn’t be me

[emdotcom]

My brain is so full of Bees about Post-Shift 2.

It's a fan game that was delayed for 4 years -- by the time it released, fnaf fangames as a whole were not as popular as they had been, & most people in the scene had forgotten about Post-Shift 1, so not a lot of people heard about it/played it.

Worse still is the people who did talk about the game. Pretty unanimously, the consensus was this: this game is the craziest, most insane fnaf fangame. It's overly difficult with mechanics that have no rhyme or reason to them & tutorials that are wordy, unhelpful, & sometimes actively mislead the player, meaning you need to comb through a lot of text only to be misinformed. It's not as infamous as some other fangames, but it definitely was talked about very poorly.

In general, I think most of these criticisms were blown up out of proportion, but I can't really disagree with most people's problems -- it is difficult & wordy, & rather hard to understand. I think, however, that the game is still 1. Really fun, 2. Not a bad game at all, &, most importantly, 3. Is a free fucking game that was clearly a passion project. Most damn fangames never get off the fucking ground when made in groups because the creators will never make a red cent off the thing -- this game was made by one dude for 4 years & delivered to people for free. It didn't ask anything of you except to accept it as a difficult game & to not go in with wild expectations. The dev just wanted to make a game that was rough, but he also wanted to make a game that felt unique & was fun. & It is fun, too, is the damn thing.

[hellafluff]

Currently obsessively thinking about a silent hill from Mary's perspective. Starting in the hospital, the nurses replaced with doctors, faces blacked out except for white shiny gnashing teeth. She only has in her pockets a note written on hotel stationary that says I'm Sorry.

Escaping and meeting a young man, cute and a lil awkward, who says you look a lot like his girlfriend Maria, and shes missing too? Can we look for her together?

Hes... sweet, a bit quiet. He gets very close to Mary often, pushes her boundaries, but this is all weird and strange and maybe hes just scared. When she mentions it, however, he makes a rude remark abt Just Wanting To Help Her but backs off.

They get seperated when the Red Pyramid Thing, unchanged in this version, comes and attacks them both, but chooses to persue him.

Laura is still there, and when Mary and her meet they cling together. She talks about an awful, ugly man she met earlier, and to watch out for him. She helps guide Mary through a maze like area before the Other World sets in and separates them.

The monsters in Mary's Silent Hill are almost all larger then her, and many masculine in appearance. They attack her head, try and choke her. Certain ones cough and gasp, arms thrashing wildly and thrashing on the floor when knocked down. Some seems to have exposed, black lungs that stutter to breathe. If Angela and Eddie are the same in this version, then their boss fights remain the same. The Abstract Daddy just as horrifying to Mary as it is to Angela.

Every reunion with the man, hes different. Less nice, more haunted looking. He starts to call her Maria, and barely acknowledges her if she corrects him. Following his advice leads to darker and more dangerous areas. The Red Pyramid keeps coming and chasing him away, but shes always collateral damage when that happens.

Eventually, she makes it to the hotel. Hes waiting for her in the hotel room, haggard, almost unrecognizable from the man he was when they first met. He has a monologue about how she's been sick, and hes been trying his best to be there for her. She doesnt understand, she doesnt know him, shes NOT Maria! She never will be. She starts coughing.

He makes to leave but at the last second turns, and hes a monster now. Large, fleshy, imposing, always trying to suffocate her under thick hands. Upon his defeat, two Red Pyramids arrive and stab at the dying thing over and over until finally impaling themselves.

There are different endings still. She remembers her disease, and her murder, in most of them. In the best ending she leaves the town with Laura, likely still ill, but alive again. In one of the worst, she wakes up in the trunk of a car, as water begins seeping in.

[milkweedman]

Genuinely spending 2 hours a day just prepping the fiber, RIP

To be fair at least a third of that time is pushing the executive function button so I can start the next nest. They're unfortunately one of those activities that has enough steps that each one feels like it's own separate thing, so I have to Start Task each damn time. So there's a 5-10 minute cooldown between them.

Got 9 nests, I think (on top), middle is some fleece that's already had a lot of locks picked out so it's kind of jumbled, bottom is combing waste.

[tardis--dreams]

Me panicking because i have 9 missed calls and 5 emails talking about my absence and how "a colleague could take over for me" vs. Me knowing it's really not that important no matter how pushy a client is and that on top of it I'm underpaid and have way to much overtime so i shouldn't even care

[marshmallowgoop]

Come back I'm waiting anytime the heavy rains come

[carcarrot]

well everyone now that sparkstember is over i can now devote my energy to being insane in other still sparks-related ways

[skinreflectsthesun]

.

[syncrovoid-presents]

I am. Not dead. BUT will be gone for a like a day or few because the stuff at work did not! want! to! work!

Which I'd another way of saying that I finally was able to get free after working 34 consecutive hours in a row. The day prior I got 1 hour of sleep and that is all after 5 days of 10 or 11 hour work days.

I am so sleepy. I am taking tomorrow off and probably going to sleep right through it. Anywho cheers everyone!! I am going to go to the shadow realm now @:P

[jalenjala]

literally how hard is it to get a job im gonna tear my hair out