#jj x reader fic

[vampiriito]

Pillow talk and the fifth amendment (3)

(JJ Maybank x pogue! reader x Rafe Cameron ) ..in which you found yourself torn between two worlds when your best friend, JJ Maybank, who you've been in love with since forever starts dating Kiara. In a jealousy haze you start hooking up with Rafe Cameron, the infamous kook prince. Do you manage to keep everything casual and under control? No, is it fun? Also kind of no, given you hate yourself each time you managed to orgasm. And especially since Rafe's favorite activity is to pick on you and your friends outside the bedroom..

"Guilt"

noun

chiefly US

"A useless yet very common emotion that plagues people and can make them go crazy. Guilt is so useless because after you have done the deed there is no changing it. Therefore there is no reason to feel bad, it is counter productive and pointless. This is one of the worst feelings in the world and it arises for no reason whatsoever. It can be described as a powerful feeling of regret and anxiety all in one. The guilt often occurs the night after excessive drinking or after sleeping with the person who actively bullies your friends. It can also occur if you realize you're in love with one of your best friends while dating someone, situations may vary."

You often wondered what was it exactly that made you fall in love with JJ, your closest best friend, inevitably sealing your own fate once he started dating one of your other friends. JJ was handsome, like a fallen angel, his looks so dangerous that sometimes he used them to his advantage. Seemingly. He knew he was handsome and it wasn't entirely a bad thing, but confidence melted into cockiness at times it seemed. When he used to go up to girls at parties, he knew for sure that he was gonna score. Not because he was a person with a good family life or even an over the top smart dude, he was hot and girls wanted to sleep with him. You included. Of course that didn't mean the cocky blonde was stupid like a can of paint, no. He was very clever and he had a knack on reading people and situations better than any of your other friends.

He was emotionally aware, but just like any other 17 year old boy on the island, he deemed emotions as something insignificant and beneath the lust he faced due to his hormones. Maybe that's what pushed him to take the leap of faith that was: dating Kiara. What pushed you to love the boy was, the fact that you were utterly and completely similar. No one from your little group actually bated an eye or knew what it meant living in a house full of ghosts better than JJ. He was constantly running away from house and the skeletons that came with the shitty, run down trailer park property. Just like you.

Before your dad left, your parents' relationship wasn't ideal. They were far from a happy couple of parents. Despite the living situations all three of you faced, you weren't the only ones, and you envied some of the other pogues living in your neighborhood for having good parents. Even if they were rare. Your dad had a way out. He wasn't stuck with your mom, in that shitty and unclean house anymore. He was off to being a functional alcoholic somewhere in a state across the country that he never disclosed to you, in fear that you might want to go and look after him. As if a 15 year old would be able to do that.

So falling in love with JJ came as easily as learning to love yourself (even if that was questionable in of itself.) JJ was your male counterpart. He was just as reckless as you, both of you adrenaline junkies who gave up on the idea that there was a future lurking behind your high school diploma. No self preservation whatsoever, most of your decisions influenced by the ridiculous amounts of alcohol you both consumed to drown out whatever issues you were facing THAT week alone. Sex was following behind closely. And while John B could've sworn that you and JJ would end up sleeping with each other, which would cause you both to get in a very toxic relationship, you proved him wrong. JJ, just like your dad had found a small sliver of a way out of a cycle that would be doomed before it began by dating Kiara. Who, despite pretending to be a pogue, had rich, loving parents at the end of the day. Giving JJ and Kie a small chance at a good life if they stuck around with one another, long enough that marriage wasn't just a distant thing of the future.

But of course no was thinking about marriage at that age. Not JJ and definitely not you. Your relationship with Rafe was, in your mind one of the bad decisions induced by alcohol and weed, which you regretted deeply. Despite it being your only helpful connection at the current time in your life. Seriously, you would sometimes wonder, what if Rafe wasn't a bad person? Would actually be able to date him? He knew his way around your body better than yourself sometimes, and while the age gap was questionable, you were mature enough to not get groomed. Or so you liked to think. It wasn't like you were desperate for the older boy's attention or money, sometimes it felt like it was the other way around. That, without admitting it, Rafe craved your attention and affections.

JJ was a force to be reckoned with. That was one of the main reasons you fell in love with him. This boy would do anything to satisfy any of his needs. Which wasn't a good combination as you both grew up into the 17 year olds you are now. Because you were the only person that was always at arm's reach and yet very far away. It always irked JJ in a way he couldn't quite pin point. You were determined when it came to keeping secrets and he was a nosy bastard. A cocky, sarcastic one at that. It got worse when he started dating Kie 3 months ago. Before that day on the boat and the following evening when you confessed to the pogues that you were casually seeing someone, he knew something was up. But what good was it? He didn't buy the line of shit that you spewed about the guy you were sleeping with, being from Charleston and he didn't know who you were pining after either. It didn't help he had realized recently that he was in love with you with no absolute way to do anything about it. He was powerless in this situation, which in retrospect, he wasn't supposed to be a part in. Given he had a girlfriend whim he loved dearly.

After a particularly long and bad fight with your mom you found yourself skating back to the only place you knew, John B's house. You were hoping the house was empty, not wanting to deal with your friends' questioning and to just unwind in the familiar surroundings. You didn't wanna meet Rafe either, that's how bad it was. Sex wouldn't have helped at the moment. Although you were tempted a little when you left your house earlier.

The house wasn't empty though. As JJ had nothing else to do, he was taking a break from his job at the auto shop when the sound of skateboard wheels got his attention in the quiet house. He immediately recognized who it was. He got up from the couch and walked over to the front door, his hands shoved in his hoodie pockets. He didn't make any noise, he just leant against the doorway and watched you skate closer to the house.

He studied your expression, taking in the exhaustion and irritation etched across your features. He knew something was wrong; you only came to the Chateau when you were upset (which was fairly often now that JJ thought about it). He couldn't ignore the protective feeling that instantly welled up inside him, his heart clenching at the thought of you being upset and hurt. Without realizing it, he spoke up, his voice soft yet firm.

"Everything okay there, gorgeous?"

You glide smoothly to a stop, feeling the wheels slow beneath you. With a slight shift of your weight, you step off the skateboard, your foot landing firmly on the ground. You lift the board with a quick flick of your ankle, catching it effortlessly in your hand. The motion is fluid, almost second nature, as you transition from riding to walking. You tuck the board under your arm, glancing up at JJ and stopping awkwardly a few feet away from the front door. "Why are you wearing a hoodie..? it's like 86 degrees outside..?" you ask, furrowing your brows.

He shrugged, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. He loved that you thought to mention something so stupid like that at the moment. You always made him feel like a dumbass, but he didn’t mind one bit. "What, I can't wear a hoodie? It's comfortable. Plus, I like hoods. Makes me look badass."

He took a step closer to you, his eyes scanning over your form as he stepped off the wooden steps of the front door. The urge to reach out and just hold you to his chest was so damn strong. He wanted to feel your body against his, to wrap his arms around you and take away whatever hurt or angered you. But he forced himself to keep his hands still, his fingers twitching slightly in his pockets.

"So, you gonna tell me what's up, sugar? Or just stand there lookin' pretty?"

You grimaced without realizing as he came to a stop in front of you, studying his face before looking away and speaking, "What, I can't come here to hang out anymore?" you asked mirroring his teasing question when you pointed out the fact that he was wearing a hoodie in summer. Although there wasn't any hint of playfulness in your expression or tone.

He raised an eyebrow at your response, sensing the lack of humor in your voice. It wasn't like you to be this serious, but he could tell that whatever happened earlier was weighing heavily on your mind. He took another step closer, his voice dropping to a more serious tone.

"Yeah, you can always come hang out, y'know that. But I can tell somethin's eatin' at you. You're not the best at hidin' when you're upset, gorgeous."

" 'M not upset.." you mumbled, forcing yourself to lock eyes with him. Despite the clenching of your heart whenever you looked into his blue eyes.

JJ tilted his head slightly, his gaze fixed on you intently. He could see the tension in your body, the way your hands clutched at the skateboard. He didn't believe your words for a second.

"Try tellin' that to someone who can't read you like a damn book." He scoffed softly, "You always come here when you are. So don't gimme any bullshit right now."

Your teeth sank into your bottom lip without realizing, teasing the small cut there, which caused a small, sharp pang of pain to shoot through your lip. " Same old shit." you nodded vaguely.

JJ's gaze flicked down to your lip, catching sight of the cut. Immediately he felt a pang of worry in his chest. His eyes narrowed slightly, his hands twitching again. He wanted to reach out and gently brush his thumb over your lip, to soothe the pain there. But he forced himself to remain still, his heart thumping loudly in his chest.

"Same old shit?" he repeated, "With your mom again?"

You hummed in response, a small bitter and humorless smirk tugging at your lips as you felt the copper taste of blood on them. You raised your free hand up, your fingers brushing over the small cut to smear the blood off.

JJ swore quietly under his breath as you confirmed it was about your mom. He clenched his fists, his jaw tightening. He hated that you had to deal with all that crap at home. It didn't seem fair. No one should have to go through that, let alone the girl he lov..

He forcefully pushed that thought out of his mind, not wanting to think about that. But the protective feeling only grew stronger. He wanted to wrap you in his arms, to hold you until all the pain went away. But he didn't. Because he had to keep up the pretense of being your best friend. Even though he was probably making a big deal out of it. He was still allowed to hug you, right? Just because he was in love-.. had a girlfriend, he could still be affectionate to his friends.

" 'S all good.." you smiled, but you didn't have the energy to try and get the smile to reach your eyes, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

He clenched his jaw tighter, his eyes narrowing further at your attempt at a smile. There was no mistaking that forced expression on your face. It was clear as day that you were far from fine. JJ hated how you always tried to act tough and hide your pain. He could see right through it from years of doing the same. The curse of clocking the bullshit he so desperately tried to sell people.

"Don't bullshit me, gorgeous." He said firmly, his voice filled with equal parts anger and concern. "You're not okay."

You wanted to drop your skateboard that was tucked under your arm and hug him. His words were testing the small barrier of casualness in the conversation, and you already were feeling shitty and unstable, emotions all over the place like misplaced clothes on your floor. But you didn't do that, it felt awkward and in some ways you'd feel guilty even though you were allowed to hug your best friend even if he was dating someone. "It isn't anything new.."

JJ's heart ached when you didn't drop the damn skateboard. He wanted so badly to pull you into his arms. To let you rest your face against his chest where he could bury his nose in your hair and soothe the pain away. But with Kie in the picture, it felt wrong to do that. He gritted his teeth, forcing himself to maintain the distance between you.

"Just 'cause 'it ain't new' don't mean it's okay, y'know that right?" He said quietly.

He wanted to tell you more, to urge you to just break down and let him comfort you. But the right words wouldn't come. He just stood there, his heart aching, his arms itching to hold you while his mind was screaming at him to just give you a damn hug. A simple hug between friends.

"You deserve better than that crap. You deserve somethin' good, gorgeous..."

"Nothing in my life is good." you stated (the statement too charged for your liking), a small frown tugging at your features side stepping him awkwardly to drop the skateboard by the steps of the front door before walking up and into the house.

JJ's heart dropped a little at your words. The defeated tone in your voice was like a knife twisting in his chest. He watched silently as you dropped the skateboard by the door and made your way inside. But that wasn't gonna stop him. He wasn't even sure if he could even stop himself at this point. His heart was in charge, and it was telling him to follow you into the house and just hold you tightly against his chest.

He took a deep breath before striding forward and following you into the Chateau.

As JJ entered the Chateau after you, he immediately found you sitting on the edge of the ratty couch, your head in your hands. The sight pained him and made his heart ache even more. He wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and just hold you, but he couldn't. He felt conflicted and confused, his emotions all over the place. He walked slowly over, his footsteps loud against the wooden floorboards, before sitting down beside you, close enough that your thighs just brushed.

He sat there in silence for a moment, watching you with a heavy heart. He looked at your bowed head, the way your shoulders trembled slightly, and the sight made his chest ache. He swallowed hard, before speaking softly.

"Gorgeous..." he said quietly, his voice filled with a mixture of guilt, shame, and concern. "You don't really mean that, do you?"

"I meant generally.. my life is a string of unfortunate events and even more unfortunate choices." you spoke, rubbing your face with your hands in exhaustion, your glasses placed beside you on the couch. You knew he took it personally, but you didn't mean it like that. If you were to think about it more deeply, being in love with JJ and having him as your best friend was one of the few things that was a pleasant constant in your life, despite the trouble they brought sometimes.

Even though he knew you didn't mean it like that, it still hurt a little that you thought your life was nothing but a string of bad luck. Especially knowing that there were a lot of things out of your control.

As you spoke, his gaze settled on your face, taking in the way your hands rubbed at your weary eyes. He had to fight the urge to pull you into his arms and just hold you. But he couldn't. Instead, he shifted a little closer, his body angled towards you.

"That ain't true.... we have each other.."

"That goes without saying.." you mumbled, grateful that he verbalized out loud what you were thinking and you didn't have to say it and make your self feel awkward. You kept your face buried in your hands, letting out a shaky sigh as you felt the events of the day settle over you in the silence of the chateau. And the day wasn't even over, it was only late afternoon.

JJ felt a small, bittersweet smile tug at his lips at your mumbled reply. As much as he hated to see you in pain, there was something comforting in knowing that you regarded him as a constant in your life, just like he did for you.

He watched you wearily for a moment, his heart heavy. He STILL itched to reach out and pull you against him, to hold you and soothe all the pain away. But he held back, his hand clenching the fabric of his shorts in an effort to keep himself in check.

"You're the best thing in my life." you spoke quietly, raising your face from your hands, glancing at him sat by your side on the ratty couch.

JJ's heart skipped a beat at your words, his stomach filled with fluttering butterflies. He tried to push away the warm feeling that filled his chest, tried to act like those words hadn't affected him as much as they had.

He swallowed, looking back at you. The sunlight streaming in through the window behind the couch illuminated your face beautifully. It took his breath away.

".. And you're the best thing in mine."

He watched you for a moment, admiring your beautiful features before he turned his gaze away, looking down at his lap. He felt a pang of guilt, a feeling that had become all too familiar since he had gotten together with Kie. He knew he shouldn't feel this way, he knew he should be happy with Kie, but he couldn't help the way his heart ached for you, how the sight of you sitting next to him made his stomach flip-flop.

If you weren't so disgusted by the idea of crying in front of another human being you would've broke down. Your throat felt tight, like there was a big lump there as your eyes stayed glued to the side of his face even as he looked down. His words were echoing in your head, '..and you're the best thing in mine.' You mirrored his stance, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap while you shuffled your feet on the floor awkwardly.

JJ could sense the tension between you both, the air thick with unspoken words and emotions. Every moment of silence felt like a dagger being twisted in his heart. He could almost hear the sound of your ragged breaths and the beating of your hearts, each thump reminding him of the growing distance between you two.

He couldn't stand it anymore. The silence was becoming too much. He had to say something, anything, to break the tension. So, he spoke, his voice low and rough.

"Hey.." he started, his gaze still fixed on his hands clenched tightly in his lap. He took a deep breath, his heart thudding in his chest. "Can I ask you something? It's been eating me alive.."

"Yeah.." you responded, your voice weak.

JJ finally looked up to meet your gaze, his eyes searching yours as he tried to find the right words to say. He took in a shaky breath, his heart thundering in his chest. God, he wanted to pull you into a tight embrace and never let go. But he couldn't. He couldn't because you weren't his to hold.

"Why.." He began, his voice strained. "Why..."

His tongue felt heavy in his mouth. The words refused to come out the way he wanted them to. He closed his eyes tightly, taking another deep breath before he tried again.

"Why.. what?" you asked, still trying to swallow down the lump in your throat so you could breathe properly, but not succeeding.

He exhaled shakily, his eyes opening slowly to look at you again. He could see the strain in your features, the discomfort and unease, and it shattered his heart. But he had to say it.

"Why did you lie to me...?" His voice was quiet, filled with unspoken emotions.

"What did i lie about?" you grimaced, studying his face intently. Was he talking about your lie about the identity of the guy you were hooking up? Did he know you were actually sleeping with Rafe?

He narrowed his eyes slightly at your response, noticing the grimace on your face.

"Don't play dumb." He replied, his voice a little more firm. He was getting closer to the truth and he could almost taste it, and the taste was bound to be bitter on JJ's tongue. The thought of it made his hands curl into fists

"We both know you don't have some random guy from Charleston in your back pocket. You're not fooling anyone with that bullshit."

He continued, fixing you with a sharp look.

"So, I'll ask again. Why did you lie to me, Y/n? And tell me the truth this time." His voice was firm but there was a hint of pleading behind it. He needed to know, he needed to hear it from you, so he could stop this inner turmoil and let go.

"Cause the truth is worse and i feel guilty about it." you frowned, your statement simple and cryptic.

A flicker of alarm passed through his eyes. What could possibly be worse than you sleeping with some random guy from Charleston? His heart thudded loudly.

"Worse...?" He repeated, his voice cracking slightly. "Worse than hooking up with some guy you don't know?"

"I had the worst day JJ... I'm not doing this." you turned your face to the side, grabbing your glasses from beside you, placing them back on your face.

JJ's frustration grew as you evaded his question. He clenched his jaw tightly, the muscles in his face taunt with tension.

"No. I'm not letting this go." He said firmly, reaching out to grab your wrist as you tried to move away. "You're not getting away by changing the subject or dismissing it. I need to know."

"I am dismissing it. I don't wanna talk about that." you stood up from the couch, hovering over him as you stared down at him, scowling.

His eyes flicked up to meet yours, his grip on your wrist tightening slightly at your stubborn behavior.

"Tough." He replied, his voice sharp. He stood up too, matching your stance as he looked up at you. Their proximity was close enough to make his heart skip a beat, but he pushed that feeling down, determined to get answers.

"You're going to talk about it whether you want to or not."

"I ain't telling you shit. It's none of your business who I'm sleeping with." you glared up at him, you were in disbelief. You just had the worst day with your mom and her boyfriend and here he was, asking you about something so insignificant at the moment.

He could feel his patience slipping as you continued to dig your heels in. He clenched his jaw tightly, his frustration bubbling just beneath the surface.

"Not my business?" He repeated. "Who you're sleeping with is not my business? Well, I beg to differ." His tone was cold.

"Why? are you gonna play 'concerned best friend' card? I don't need that bullshit okay? Worry about your girlfriend, or the fact that you're not faithful to her." you sneered lightly, bringing up that night at the party when he confessed he wasn't entirely faithful to Kie and then tried to hook up with you. That night was stuck in your mind, playing back his words when you looked at him.

His eyes darkened, his expression hardening as you brought up that night at the party. He flinched, as if you had struck a nerve, and his grip on your wrist tightened almost painfully before he let go.

He took a step back, his chest feeling tight as the memories flooded back. He clenched his jaw tightly, his voice coming out sharp. "Don't bring that up right now." He snapped.

"Fuck you. Keep your mixed signals away from me. Stay in your lane and stop questioning me like you have any right. You have a fucking girlfriend!" you snapped, the bottled up feelings from the past weeks and last 3 months just tipping to spill now.

He could feel his anger growing with each passing second, his entire body tense with frustration.

"Is that what this is about? That night at the party?" He asked, his voice raised. "You still mad at me because I tried to kiss you?"

He took a step towards you, closing the distance between you again. His voice was a low growl.

"Yes?! You didn't address it." you spoke, raising your brows in disbelief, arms extended by your side in irritation, "Why are you acting like I'm overreacting?"

"Overreacting?" He repeated, his eyes narrowing. "You're the one acting like I stabbed you or something. You're acting like a damn jealous ex."

He took another step forward, close enough to invade your personal space. He clenched his jaw tightly, his voice coming out harshly.

"Get over it, already."

You fell silent, your expression hardening. Of course he was gonna blow you off when you brought it up, typical JJ. But you weren't gonna push any further. Not when he was downplaying the whole thing and making you feel like it wasn't a big deal. Underneath the anger you felt stupid and quite frankly insignificant. Like the whole thing was just a spur-of-the-moment decision, and you found yourself glad you didn't kiss him back or hooked up with him.

"It was just a stupid, damn mistake and you know it." He spoke, his voice low and harsh, his eyes searching your face intently, trying to find a hint of the girl he remembered from before.

"Stop acting like it was something more than it was. I have a girlfriend." He practically snarled out the last words.

His last words were a harsh reminder that, underneath the tension and your feelings he was someone else's. You were still his best friend and nothing more. You were still stuck sleeping with someone who you didn't love or liked as a way to bury your feelings for him and he wasn't responsible for any of them. Nothing changed, nothing ever did. Not when your dad left, not when your mom didn't do shit when one of her boyfriends laid his hands on you for the first time. And it certainly wasn't gonna change now.

So your attempt at trying to diffuse the tension in your body from your fight at home turned into another layer of anger added to it. You looked down before spinning around on your heel and walking towards the front door.

His jaw clenched tightly, his expression hardening as you spun around and headed for the door. His mind was a chaotic mix of frustration and confusion, and the realization of how he was making the situation worse was slowly sinking in.

"You can't just walk away every time something pisses you off." He called after you, his words edged with frustrated irritation.

You stayed silent, grasping the door knob of the front door and flinging it open, walking down the small wooden steps and grabbing your skateboard from the side of the house roughly. You knew exactly where you were going now.

JJ's frustration and irritation grew as you continued to completely ignore him. His body was practically shaking from the mix of emotions raging inside him.

He followed behind you quickly, walking down the stairs and watching you as you grabbed your skateboard and headed away from the house.

"Hey! Where the hell are you going?"

Without a word you drop the skateboard to your feet, placing one foot on the deck and with a rough motion you push off the ground with your other foot. As the skateboard starts to move down the side walk leading away from the chateau, you bring your foot on the board, finding your balance. You didn't glance back at JJ, you couldn't bring yourself to. Not yet, anyway.

In less than an hour you were on figure 8, staring at the big glass front doors of the Cameron house, chewing the inside of your cheek. You fish your phone out of your back pocket dialing Rafe's number and praying he would pick up and was home. If not, you would just look like a dumbass standing outside his house, your stance resembling that of a lost and kicked puppy.

JJ watched as you skated away, a mixture of anger and helplessness growing within him. He wanted to run after you and grab you, making you talk to him and hear him out. But he knew that he'd only make things worse. So he stood there, watching you until you disappeared from his sight. His emotions were all over the place, and he didn't know how to deal with them.

In the meantime, Rafe picked up the phone

"Where are you, babe?"

"Out front." you spoke simply, shifting your weight from one foot to the other.

Rafe smirked, already guessing what you were there for. "I'm coming out."

A few moments later, he emerged from the house, a smug look on his face as he approached you. "Hey there, baby." He called, his voice dripping with satisfaction.

You hung up the call as he stopped in front of you, stuffing your phone in your back pocket. Your expression was sour, full of irritation from the fight with JJ and your mom. You stepped closer dropping your skateboard to the ground, wrapping your arms around his neck almost roughly, hesitating for a split second before kissing him wordlessly.

Rafe's eyes widened slightly in mild surprise, not expecting your sudden display of affection. But he quickly recovered, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you close to him. He pressed his body against yours, his lips meeting yours in a rough, passionate kiss.

"Well... hello to you too." He chuckled against your lips, his breath hot against your skin.

"Is Sarah home..?" you asked, your brows furrowing as you studied his face. Despite the nature of your relationship, Rafe always seemed pleased when you inevitably showed up at his house. Maybe he was sick and twisted, taking pleasure in your misfortune. Or maybe the Cameron boy had grown to like you, and like the fact that he was the first and only refuge when things got bad in your life. You could never allow yourself to dwell on those thoughts.

Rafe shook his head, his smirk widening as he realized what you were here for. "Luck's on your side doll. You've got me all to yourself today."

Hearing his words, a flicker of relief washed over your face. You didn't feel like dealing with anyone else right now, and knowing that Sarah was out of the house was a small miracle.

"Good. Let's go upstairs then."

Rafe chuckled, a sly smile playing on his lips as he wrapped his arm around your waist, guiding you towards the front door. "Sure thing, baby."

As the two of you made your way upstairs, Rafe couldn't help but notice the tension in your body.

"You seem a bit... off, today." He observed, glancing sidelong at you as he pushed open the door to his room.

The moment the door closed behind you, Rafe turned to face you, taking in your tense expression and body language. He ran his fingers lightly down your arm, his touch sending a shiver down your spine.

"You wanna talk about it, or...?" He asked, his voice soft yet filled with curiosity. Although he had a pretty good idea of what was bothering you. It wasn't hard to guess when there were precisely two options he could choose from.

"No, definitely not." you spoke tensely, resisting the urge to grimace.

Rafe chuckled, taking another step closer to you, his body almost pressing against yours. He could practically feel the tension radiating off you, and it fueled him further.

"That's fine by me. I can think of plenty of other ways to distract you." He purred into your ear, his breath hot against your skin as he gently grasped your hips, pulling you against him.

You wrapped your arms around his neck once again, leaning your face close, "just stop talking Rafe.." you mumbled before kissing him.

Rafe smirked against your lips, enjoying the commanding tone in your voice. He pressed his body against you, his hands gripping your hips a bit tighter as he returned the kiss passionately. He deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth as he backed you up towards his bed.

"Whatever you say, baby." He muttered between kisses, his voice low and raspy with desire.

As you reached the edge of Rafe's bed, he gently pushed you backwards, causing you to fall back onto the soft mattress. He followed quickly after, his body covering yours as he continued to kiss you deeply, his hands roaming over your body, slowly lifting up the hem of your shirt.

You supported your weight on your elbows, your hand reaching to take off your glasses in one swift motion, placing them on his night stand and repeating the same action with your shirt, throwing it somewhere on the floor by his bed. You quickly went back to cupping his face kissing him sloppily, trying desperately to get your mind off of things.

Rafe groaned against your lips as you removed your glasses and shirt, his hands coming up to rest on either side of your head, pinning you down against the sheets. The taste of your lips and the heat of your body against his was exhilarating, and he wanted more. He broke the kiss, panting slightly as his lips found your neck, trailing kisses down towards your collarbone.

"You're so damn hot when you're in charge." He muttered between kisses, his fingers slowly undoing the buttons of your jean shorts.

"This is the only thing I'm in charge of, in my life.." you mumbled, your hands reaching down to tug at the hem of his shirt while his hands working hastily with the button and flier of your shorts.

Rafe chuckled against your skin, the sound muffled by the kisses he was trailing down your body. He pulled back for a moment, allowing you to pull his shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor next to yours. He quickly got back to work on your shorts, his fingers nimbly undoing the button and zipper, before he began to tug them down over your hips.

"Well, you can be in charge of me all you want, baby. Anything you want." He whispered huskily, his eyes locked on yours.

You wiggled your hips gently before kicking your shorts off in one swift motion, allowing them to slide off the bed and onto the floor along with your shoes. You settled underneath him, locking eyes with him and letting out a small, almost inaudible and bitter scoff, cradling his face and pulling him in for another rough kiss.

Rafe returned the kiss eagerly, his lips molding against yours as he leaned into you further, his body pressing against yours. He could feel the bitterness in your scoff, but he didn't comment on it. instead, he continued to kiss you with a fervor, his hands roaming over your body, exploring every inch of skin that was now bared for him. He could sense the tension and pain in your body, and it only fueled his own need to comfort you.

You didn't waste time, a sense of urgency in every movement of your movement before he was inside you. Your legs were wrapped around his waist loosely, his face buried into the crook of your neck, one of his hands cupping your jaw and letting his thumb slip past your lips a little as thrusted, causing your body to arch up into his chest from time to time. The transition from stepping inside his room and him being inside you was always swift and fast, both of you already knowing what to do after almost 4 months of hooking up.

Rafe groaned quietly into your neck at the sudden and urgent movements. He loved when you took charge like this, it made him feel wanted and needed in the best way possible. He nipped at your skin, leaving small love bites as he continued to thrust into you, his grip on your jaw tightening slightly, his thumb pressing against your tongue. He wanted to feel every part of you, possess every part of you, but at the same time, he could sense the pain and desperation in your actions, and it only made him cling onto you more, torn between being soft and careful with you in these situations, and being as rough as you allowed him to be. And you allowed him a lot of things, at least during sex.

The room was filled with the sounds of your panted breaths and small moans as Rafe continued to move, each thrust more determined than the other with every moan that he managed to pull out of you. He pressed his lips to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses, his body pressing against yours, your skin slick with a thin film of sweat. He could feel the tension in your body and it only made him more determined. He wanted to make you forget your worries and pain, even if it was temporarily.

His hand slid down from your jaw to your neck, gently gripping it and giving it a slight squeeze, his thumb applying gentle pressure, feeling the way your throat would move as you made each small sound.

He nuzzled his nose into your neck once more, nipping and licking at the sensitive skin, wanting to leave his mark on you. He knew that you didn't belong together, but he couldn't deny the way his heart raced when he was with you, the way he craved your touch. It was a feeling he couldnt get enough of.

Your eyes fluttered closed as soon as his hand wrapped around your neck gently, your lips parting a little as you let out quiet moans, one of your hands threading through his hair and scraping at his scalp in pleasure. You loved allowing yourself these tens of minutes of distraction, despite the guilt plaguing you they were your most prized moments of your day.

Rafe groaned quietly at the feeling of your hand in his hair, it was a sensation he could never get tired of. The way you would tug on his hair and he could nearly see stars. He loved the little pain, the burning sensation it would bring, the way it'd make his blood run hotter than it already was. One of his own hands slid down to your hip, his grip tightening as he pulled you closer to him.

He continued to bite and suck on your skin, leaving behind a constellation of small red and purple spots that only he would see. He wanted to mark you, to claim you as his own, even though he knew you couldn't truly be his. He wanted everyone to see that you belonged to him and no one else. You were his, even if it was just this because he knew he was the only one you allowed this close. Physically, at least. His lips wandered down your neck, trailing down your collarbone and your chest, leaving a trail of hot kisses in their wake,

The pace of his hips became more sloppy as you both chased the feeling of sweet release. Your brain was focused on the gentle grip of his hand around your throat, your moans coming out in shaky strings. His hand on your hip was lifting it off the bed a little to angle his thrusts better, causing you to become a little louder and to let out a couple of gasps mixed with your moans. "That's it.. that's good.." you choked out breathlessly, unable to open your eyes, arching your back a little.

Rafe could tell you were getting close as your moans grew louder and shakier, the way your body arching up against his chest, your head thrown back, giving him more access to your neck, which he took full advantage of. He nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin, leaving behind a few more marks as he continued to thrust into you.

He nearly smirked at your praise, the words sending a thrill through his body. He loved hearing you say things like that, it made him feel both powerful and vulnerable in the best way possible. He picked up his pace slightly, his grip on your hip tightening as he leaned into you, his thrusts becoming more desperate and needy.

His name left your lips in a quiet gasp as he picked up the pace, his lips wandering back up to your neck, leaving more kisses and love bites. His hand around your throat flexed slightly, applying a little more pressure, loving the way it would make you arch into his chest and gasp out more moans. He could feel the tension building in his own body, the way his muscles coiled and heat spread through his veins. He wasn't going to last as long as he wanted to, not with the way you were responding to him, or with the way you felt wrapped around his cock.

Once his hand flexed slightly around your neck you let out a small, breathless whimper. His grip wasn't cutting airflow by any means, but the pressure was making you dizzy, the feeling combined with the pleasure he was giving you from his deep thrusts due to the angle was making you feel weightless. Like you didn't have thousands of thoughts weighing you down. You dug your nails into the skin on the back of his neck, leaving behind small crescent shapes.

Rafe's breath hitched at the feeling of your nails digging into the skin of his neck. He had a thing for pain, and the stinging sensation you left on his skin only made him shudder slightly. He loved the small whimper you let out when he tightened his grip, knowing that he was the reason you were feeling so good.

He leaned in, panting into your ear as he continued his pace, his lips brushing over the shell of your ear as he spoke in a low, rumbling voice. "Let me hear those pretty noises. I want to hear how good I'm making you feel.."

His words left a shiver running down your spine. Despite the fact that you both knew this wasn't exactly love, there was an intimate feeling to it and him saying that to you felt like he really wanted and meant it. His lips continued to brush against your ear and neck, his breathing hot on your skin. With each passing moment, you started getting tighter, the heat building in your core, the pleasure becoming more intense. He could see it in your face, hear it in your sounds, it was what he lived for in these moments.

He could see the pleasure building on your face, the way your expression started to change and your breathing growing shallower. He was enjoying every moment of this, and he was determined to make it the best it could be for both of you. As he watched you, his grip tightened slightly on your neck, gently applying a little more pressure as he continued pushing deeper and deeper into you, relishing in the way it made you feel and the sounds you let out in response.

His praise about your sounds and the grip on your throat were making you lightheaded and you writhed under him, scratching at his back, letting out choked, loud moans in sync with every thrust of his hips. The knot in your lower stomach was threatening to snap and your jaw was slack from pleasure, head tilted back into the pillow under it. What you and Rafe had definitely wasn't love. You couldn't stand each other outside of this and most of your meetings were driven by lust and fleeting sex. But it was nice. Having someone who didn't ask questions or demand answers. It was purely physical and sometimes that's what someone like you needed.

He groaned loudly as you scratched at his back, loving the way you felt under him. The way you were so lost in your own pleasure that you didn't hold anything back, you were completely surrendered to him and what he made you feel. Rafe was definitely a man who thrived in control, both in and out of the bedroom, but there was something about having you so vulnerable under him that was addicting to him. He loved knowing that he was the only one that could make you feel like this. That he was the only one you let in physically and mentally, no matter how temporary it may be.

His lips, which had left their mark all over your neck and shoulders, started to move down to your chest, leaving kisses and bites on your skin as he did. He loved marking you in various places he knew would be easy to cover up, he loved seeing the evidence of what he did to you, the knowledge that it was just for him. Even though he knew that there was no love behind this, he wanted and even need to make sure that you knew that he was the one giving you so much pleasure and nothing else. He wanted you to associate pleasure with him.

After you both finished though, you always kept your distance. There was no need for pillow talk of after care here. That would just make everything too intimate. You were trying to save that for the guy you were gonna date, and not for your fuck buddy. You were sitting on the edge of the bed now, completely spent but with your mind finally cleared and the tension in your body gone once you came. You were hunched forward a little, your elbows on your knees and your face in your hands as you tried to catch your breath.

Rafe was also breathing heavily, his back leaned against the headboard as he watched you regain your breath. His eyes traced over your body, the sight of you sitting there, still slightly flushed and disheveled, stirring a sense of satisfaction in him. Even though there were no feelings between you, there was an intimate familiarity to you that he loved.

Finally, he broke the silence, his voice still a little gruff from exertion.

"..You good, angel?"

"Yeah.. Feeling terrific." you mumbled, reaching to grab your panties from the floor and put them on along with your bra. You stood up from the bed, fishing your pack of cigarettes and lighter from the pocket of your shorts and making your way to balcony in his room. "Wanna have a smoke before i leave..?"

Rafe chuckled softly at your answer, enjoying the little sassy tone in your voice. He watched you get dressed, his eyes following every move you made, appreciating your body. He nodded his head in response to your question, getting out of the bed as well and snatching a pair of boxers from the floor, shimmying them on before making his way over to you on the balcony. Once there, he took the cigarette and lighter from your hand, lighting up one for you and one for himself as he leaned back against the balcony railing.

He took a long drag from the cigarette, exhaling a cloud of smoke into the warm, early evening air. His eyes flickered over to you, studying your feature, noting the slight edge to your expression. "You got into it with your mom again, didn't you?"

You took a long drag from your cigarette, licking your front teeth with your mouth closed. He pinpointed the problem correctly. "..and got into an argument with blondie after.." you let out a bitter chuckle, your eyes skimming over the scenery in front of the balcony mindlessly.

Rafe raised an eyebrow at your response, taking another drag from his cigarette. He had known about your issues with your family, with your mother specifically. The arguments, the disagreements, the screaming, the occasional smacks. It was no wonder you needed to find comfort somewhere else, even with him. He was curious about your little tussle with JJ, though. "What was that fight with Maybank over this time?"

"Told the pogues I'm hooking up with some college dude from Charleston, and he didn't believe me. I think he suspects I'm sleeping with you.." you ashed the cigarette before bringing it to your lips, side glancing at him for a few moments.

Rafe raised his eyebrows, a hint of surprise in his expression. He took a drag from his cigarette, his eyes flickering back over to you. The fact that JJ suspected you of seeing him wasn't the surprising part. It was the fact that you'd told the Pogues about a fake guy in the first place.

"Damn, you really went all out with that lie, huh? He didn't buy it though, I take it."

Rafe couldn't help but smirk a little, the idea of JJ getting all worked up over your made-up boyfriend slightly amusing him. He was a territorial guy after all. He took another hit from the cigarette before speaking again.

"Why'd you tell them you were sleeping with some college guy anyway? Seems kinda unnecessary to me."

"Yeah, let me tell my pogue best friends I'm actually sleeping with the biggest and most asshole-ish kook on the island. The same person that beat up Pope with a golf club last summer and is a drug dealer.." you held back a teasing grin, nodding sardonically as you kept your gaze on him.

Rafe chuckled at your rebuttal, an amused smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. He exhaled a plume of smoke, leaning slightly against the railing as he took in your sarcasm.

"Touché.. but, they're still gonna find out eventually."

"I know.." you frowned to yourself, feeling a pang of guilt shoot through you as you thought about it. You brought the cigarette to your lips, taking a deep drag, letting the nicotine fill your brain and lungs as you held in the smoke.

Rafe watched your expression falter, the guilt evident on your face. He knew it weighed heavily on you, what you were doing. Keeping secrets from your friends, especially when it came to sleeping with him. But you couldn't help it. You needed the distraction he provided, the escape he offered.

He exhaled his own smoke, his voice turning softer as he spoke. "They're gonna be pissed, you know."

"Thanks Rafe, that makes me feel so much better about myself and my decisions.." you side glanced at him with an unimpressed and sardonic expression, exhaling the smoke between your lips slowly.

Rafe held his hands up in mock surrender, his smirk widening into a full-blown cocky grin. He chuckled at your sarcastic comment, his eyes gleaming with a mix of amusement and arrogance.

"Hey, just trying to help. Maybe you should have thought about that before you started sleeping with me."

He took another hit from his cigarette, his gaze lingering on you for a moment, taking in the sight of you in the soft glow of the early evening sunshine, your features both beautiful and sharp. There was something about you that intrigued him, a mixture of vulnerability and sass that made him want to push your buttons just to see how you would react. The Cameron boy liked to document your reactions to certain things he said when the two of you managed to talk after. It was peculiar to him how guilt ridden and angry one could be after orgasming.

"Or maybe you just can't get enough of me."

"Yeah, is that what you tell yourself to make up for the fact that I'm using you?" the words were teasing and condescending as you leaned in slightly, your eyes narrowed and smirking.

He chuckled at your reply, his smirk mirroring your own as he leaned in closer too. Your cigarettes dangling from your fingers, faces barely inches apart.

"No need to make up excuses. We both know you crave what I give you, even if it's just physical."

"Ey.. you're good in bed and you roll up my weed for free.." you shrugged, smirking. You brought the cigarette to your lips again, taking a drag and exhaling the smoke slowly in his face.

Rafe chuckled huskily, the smoke mingling with his breath as he smiled at your words. He loved that about you, how you were always so blunt and honest. People were either sucking up to him or hated Rafe openly. With you, he never actually knew for sure. You didn't really like him, but he figured that if it came down to it, you wouldn't let him die or get hurt. You cared to an extent, is what he was trying to convey here. He took another hit from his cigarette, the embers glowing in the twilight.

"Damn right, I am." He said, his eyes darkening at the memory of the many nights you spent together.

He shifted closer, the heat between you growing more intense with each passing moment. His eyes flicked between your lips and eyes, a devilish gleam in his gaze.

"And you're a good distraction for me, don't forget."

"And what exactly do you need to be distracted from?" you asked, snorting softly in amusement, ashing your cigarette blindly.

Rafe rolled his eyes at your question, his expression becoming almost defensive. He wasn't used to being prodded and questioned. But there was something about you that made him want to open up to you, even just a little.

"Oh, you know just the usual. My dad's bullshit, my ex girlfriend's bullshit, the fact that I'll never be good enough." He smirked bitterly, his tone laced with a hint of sarcasm. "Take your pick."

You raised your brows, sticking out your bottom lip and nodding knowingly, "Yeah being spoiled rotten must be tough, huh?"

Rafe chuckled at your sarcasm, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He knew you didn't understand what it was like to grow up in the wealthy circles he had, but he appreciated your smartass remarks nonetheless.

"Oh yeah, it's a real burden being rich and privileged. I mean, having everything you want at the snap of a finger, the luxuries, the power... It's such a struggle" He joked, his voice laced with mock sympathy.

"And here i thought living in a shitty trailer park with an alcoholic step father and a coward of a mother was tough.." you chuckled, clutching your heart and shaking your head, taking another pull from your cigarette.

Rafe's grin faded slightly, his sardonic smirk faltering at your words. It was easy to forget sometimes that you had a rough upbringing, and the reality of it hit him like a truck every time. He knew that beneath your tough exterior, there was a vulnerability and pain that you kept tucked away. But he couldn't help but poke at it. The temptation was too strong. He raised his eyebrows and leaned back against the railing, his voice dripping with condescension once more. "You're a regular little underdog, aren't you?"

You took a final drag from your cigarette, stubbing it out on his arm dangling over the railing, smirking up at him. "Don't be an asshole, country-club."

Rafe hissed in pain as the hot end of your cigarette made contact with his skin, a searing sensation that left a small red mark in its wake. He quickly recoiled, his eyes narrowing as he rubbed his arm. Part of him wanted to grab you and throw you over his knee, but he held back, the fire in his gaze growing more intense.

"Watch it, trailer trash."

His words hung in the air, a dangerous and low whisper that made your spine tingle. But you'd be damned if you let him see it. You leaned in closer, your eyes locked on his with a challenge.

"Or what? You gonna tell your daddy on me?"

Rafe's jaw clenched at your taunt, his grip on the railing tightening as your faces were mere inches apart. He was fighting the urge to just pin you against the wall and kiss you senseless, just to shut you up. But he maintained his composure, his eyes darkening with a mixture of anger and desire.

"No, I don't think daddy would like knowing his little baby boy is sneaking around with a trailer park girl."

"Ay whatever helps you sleep at night, country-club. You should get those daddy issues checked.." you narrowed your eyes, patting his arm in mock sympathy before side stepping him to walk lazily back into his bedroom.

Rafe gritted his teeth as you patted his arm mockingly, a mix of annoyance and desire coursing through his veins. He hated when you talked and acted like you had him wrapped around your little finger, even though he was.

"Daddy issues?" He repeated through gritted teeth, following you into the bedroom. "I think you're the one with daddy issues, princess."

"Takes one to know one.." you chuckled, sitting down on the edge of the bed, grabbing your shorts and cropped t shirt and slipping them over your underwear, your socks and beat up vans following. You grabbed the glasses from the side table next to his bed and placing them on your face.

Rafe leaned against the doorway of the balcony, watching you with a mixture of annoyance and hunger. Your confidence and nonchalance both irritated and intrigued him. As you sat on the bed and began slipping on your shorts and cropped T-shirt, his gaze traveled over your exposed skin, his eyes taking in every inch.

"You really love that whole 'poor country girl' shtick, don't you?" He commented mockingly, his arms folding across his chest.

"And you really love sticking to the whole country-club, snobby kid act even after we fuck, don't you?" you returned harshly, grimacing at him from the foot of the bed, arms folded over your chest as you stood up and glanced at him by the balcony door.

The moment your words left your lips, Rafe's jaw clenched. He felt a mix of anger and embarrassment. It was like you always knew how to get under his skin.

"You think you know me so well," he retorted, the harshness in his voice not doing much to hide the tension building between the two of you. He pushed off the doorway and stalked towards you, his movements calculated and deliberate.

"You don't have a damn clue, trailer park."

You scoffed, your eyes zeroing his almost fully naked form, save for the boxer briefs, your eyes hovering over his chest abs, "Get dressed country-club, you look ridiculous trying to intimidate me only in your boxers.." you spoke in a condescending tone, smirking as soon as you locked eyes.

Rafe's eyes blazed with a mixture of annoyance and desire as your gaze raked over his half-clad body. It was simultaneously frustrating and thrilling. You had a habit of getting under his skin in the most infuriating yet enticing ways possible.

"Oh so now you're giving me orders, huh?" He retorted, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he continued to close the gap between you. He stepped closer until he loomed over you, his muscular frame almost caging you in.

"Only if you let me.." you whispered, narrowing your eyes with your smirk still in place. You grazed your finger slowly over his abs down to where his happy trail ended.

A shiver ran down Rafe's spine as your finger traced a tantalizing path over his abs, his body responding involuntarily to your touch. He gritted his teeth, trying to maintain his composure and not give you the satisfaction of knowing the effect you had on him. But you always had a way of shredding through his defenses.

"And what makes you think I'd let you order me around?" He retorted, his voice still slightly defiant, even as it grew raspier with desire.

"Tsk... you're no fun country-club." you frowned rolling your eyes, bringing your finger up to adjust your glasses. You stepped back a little, grabbing your phone from the night-stand and stuffing it in your back pocket, "I have to flee... but I'll see you, yeah?" you smirked, raising your brows.

Rafe rolled his eyes at the nickname, but there was a hint of amusement in his expression. He knew you were trying to get a rise out of him, but he wasn't going to let you win that easily.

"Yeah, yeah. Get outta here before I change my mind." He replied, crossing his arms across his chest, his gaze following your every move. He made no effort to cover up his nakedness either, comfortable in his own skin as he leaned against the bed.

You turned around, leaning against the door to face him once more. Your smirk grew a little wider.

"I'll see you again, only when I want, alright?" You let the words linger in the air, emphasizing the word "want" with a suggestive tone. You were challenging him, seeing how he would take it, and it was a fun game to play. With a final wink, you pushed open the door, disappearing into the shadows of the hallway without a backward glance.

Rafe's expression darkened slightly at your words, a flicker of annoyance in his eyes. He never liked it when you took the upper hand, but he couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine at your suggestive tone.

"Oh, I'll be seeing you, sweetheart," he muttered under his breath as you walked out of the room, his gaze fixed intently on the closed door. But he couldn't help the small smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips.

Your fingers clutched the pack of cheap cookies and the can of ice tea tightly as you stumbled outside the convenience store. Your feet ached slightly from the heeled sandals you wore, the thin heel surprising you with how it was still intact after the night of partying you just had. You dropped down on the curb placing the can of ice tea beside you, focusing on ripping the cookie packet open, almost inhaling one of them once you managed to tear it open.

You were surprised how you were still standing in general. You were high, drunk and you managed to snort some blow that night. To get into another kook party you had to look the part, hence the heels and the powder blue mini dress. You had managed once again to sneak away from your friends, still not taking it very well that your childhood crush and best friend was dating someone that wasn't you. You reached up, adjusting your glasses which were also surprisingly still on your face despite stumbling around clumsily, and you were feeling fairly proud you had some cash for the cookies and ice tea, bought with the intent to sober up a little before walking home.

The sound of gravel crunching under approaching footsteps broke you out of your thoughts and you turned your head to the side. The sight that met you made you frown slightly. Rafe Cameron. He had a smirk on his face as he approached you after stepping out from his SUV parked a little further behind him in the store's parking lot.

The sight of him made you roll your eyes. You had no interest in dealing with his cocky attitude tonight of all nights. You turned your head away, focusing your attention on your food, trying to act uninterested, but you could tell he made himself comfortable next to you. You didn't forget what happened between the 2 of you. How could you? you were feeling guilty about it for the past week. Tonight was even rougher, given you didn't feel like dealing with Rafe, JJ or your mom in your state,

Rafe's smirk widened, seeing your attempts to ignore him. He could tell you weren't in the mood to talk, but he couldn't help himself. He liked bugging you, it was just too easy.

"Hey stranger." He teased, his eyes roaming over your appearance, lingering at the way the dress hugged your curves. "You look nice tonight."

He sat down beside you, taking the can of ice tea from your lap and popping the tab open, gulping down a good few sips. He noticed how you barely looked at him, focusing your attention on the food. When he spoke, you turned to side glance at him, popping another small cookie in your mouth, unimpressed by his antics. "You need me to lend you some change, since you're making yourself at home with my stuff.." you slurred out, voice heavy with alcohol, weed and coke.

He chuckled softly, swirling the remaining ice tea in the can around with a smirk.

"Nah. I don't need your change, doll," he replied, taking another sip and wiping his mouth with his hand.

"I was just curious why you were out here on your own, all dressed up. Shouldn't you be at the party?" he questioned, eyeing your outfit up and down slowly.

He chuckled softly, swirling the remaining ice tea in the can around with a smirk.

"Nah. I don't need your change, doll," he replied, taking another sip and wiping his mouth with his hand.

"I was just curious why you were out here on your own, all dressed up. Shouldn't you be at the party?" he questioned, eyeing your outfit up and down slowly.

"Are you following me around?" you wondered out loud, snatching the can of ice tea from his hand to take a long sip yourself.

He smirked, watching you snatch the can away from him, amused by your audacity.

"Me? Following you? Please, don't flatter yourself. I just happened to be out getting smokes and saw you sitting here all alone, looking like a lost puppy." He sniggered, his eyes glinting with mischief.

A small, humorless scoff escaped your lips, eyes fixed on the pavement under your sandals. Your eyesight was blurry around the edges and every sound around you felt muffled in your ears. You seriously weren't in the mood to talk to someone, let alone Rafe Cameron. He was the last person you wanted to see and here he was, sitting beside you on the curb, talking to you casually, "You just-.. you're giving me bad vibes.. Stalker, y'know..?" you muttered under your breath, another cookie following the ice tea after you swallowed it.

He raised an eyebrow, his smirk still on his face as he listened to your slurred words. He knew you were drunk and high out of your mind, and for some reason it was amusing to him.

"Stalker, huh? That's a bit dramatic. I just happened to stumble across your sorry ass, sitting here on a curb, all alone and looking miserable," He replied, his tone teasing and condescending.

"And decided to what, exactly..?" you trailed off, "Join me on the curb..?" you laughed mockingly while you side glanced at him once again.

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he leaned back on his palms, looking over at you with a cocky smirk on his face.

"What can I say? I thought you looked lonely." He shrugged, his eyes roaming over your figure once again. "Besides, I've never seen you in a dress before, and I gotta say, the view is pretty nice."

You kept your eyes fixed on his laid back form, quite literally. You were struggling to keep your eyes fully open, yawning momentarily before speaking, "I think you're obsessed with me.." you stated, eyes narrowing behind your glasses as you pointed at him.

He let out a small scoff, his smirk growing at your words. He raised an eyebrow, looking at you with a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Obsessed? With you? Really?" he asked, "I think you overestimate yourself."

He shook his head, a smirk still plastered on his face. "Though I have to admit, you're pretty easy on the eyes. Especially dressed like this."

"Okay.. let's-.." you started, stumbling over your words and pausing to gather your thoughts. "Let's review the facts.. You always bugging me at work.. Took me home last week, and then also slept with me in the gym locker room. And now you're what? sittin' on the curb with me." you let out a genuine laugh, throwing your head back after taking another sip of ice tea.

He watched you with an entertained gaze, his smirk still in place as he listened to you recount the events. He shrugged nonchalantly, as if he wasn't bothered by the fact that he had slept with you in the locker room.

"Guilty on all counts." He smirked, his eyes roaming over your body in that short dress.

Your eyes narrowed even more, your mannerisms more exaggerated and slow due to the alcohol coursing through your veins, "So.. you're admitting to being a stalker, then?" you whispered as if you were telling him a secret.

He tilted his head to the side, his smirk never disappearing from his face, amused by your drunken state. He shook his head, leaning closer to you as if he was telling you a secret of his own.

"Nah, doll.. I'm admitting to just being attracted to you, that's all. I like bugging you, I wanted to get laid, and now I'm sitting here with you because you look like a sad, lost little puppy."

You hummed knowingly, dragging out the sound "But i don't like you like that.. I barely know you, and your dick has been inside of me two separate times.. Can you imagine that?" you ranted, your words growing more slurred and unfiltered. "You're very creepy.." you muttered almost inaudibly, adjusting your glasses clumsily.

A smirk danced across his lips, his amusement growing with each slurred word that left your mouth. He raised an eyebrow at your comment, a hint of annoyance underlying his playful expression.

"Alright, alright... Creepy. Noted." He chuckled, his gaze roaming over your face before landing on your hands, still struggling to adjust your glasses.

He couldn't help but find it endearingly cute, the way your hand kept slipping off your face as you attempted to keep your blurred vision clear, "Here, let me.."

Without warning, Rafe grabbed your chin, tilting your head up so you were looking directly at him. His touch was surprisingly soft as he gently pushed your glasses back on straight, his fingers grazing your skin.

You gently swatted at his hand, snorting in amusement "You don't have to be nice to me.." you blabbered out, seemingly amused by his soft touch and attempt to adjust your glasses for you.

He rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips as you swatted at his hand. He withdrew it, but still kept his gaze fixed on you. His eyes were glued to your lips for a brief moment before flickering back up.

"Oh really? You'd rather I be mean to you?" he chuckled, his tone teasing and sarcastic.

Your mood seemed to be malleable enough that you switched between giggly drunk to what Rafe could pin point as sad drunk? "No.. i actually need someone to be nice to me tonight.." you whispered again, eyes fluttering closed for a split second. "I just don't understand why.. You're nice to me."

Rafe's heart fluttered at the hint of vulnerability in your voice, his smirk softening for a brief moment. He couldn't quite pinpoint it, but he felt an inexplicable shift in your demeanor...He let out a low sigh, dropping his gaze to the sidewalk in front of him, a hint of guilt and hesitance flickering behind his blue eyes.

"Did i say something bad?" you asked, a small smile tugging at your lips. "Did i finally get you to-.." your statement was cut off by a hiccup "not like me anymore?"

He looked at you, his gaze suddenly shifting from lighthearted to serious. He shook his head softly, a mix of confusion and intrigue in his eyes.

"No.. You didn't say something bad.. It's just-" He let out a heavy breath before continuing, "You actually got me to feel bad for you. It's new territory for me."

You groaned momentarily, again seemingly not pleased with the fact that Rafe seemed to be feeling bad for you. "Hey, that makes..." you paused, trying to find your words or figure out the exact correct form of whatever statement you were struggling to say, "That makes two of us.."

Rafe raised an eyebrow at your words, his confusion becoming more prominent. He chuckled softly, a hint of curiosity sparking within him.

"What do you mean 'that makes two of us'? Don't tell me you also feel bad for me.."

Your confusion mirrored his, doubled by being in your inebriated state "No. Like.. i also feel bad for myself." you snorted in amusement, finding it funny that he didn't understand what you were trying to say. As if you weren't completely shit faced, sitting on a curb at 2 am.

He scoffed at your bluntness, his smirk now back in place. He couldn't help but find your honesty endearing, despite your current state of intoxication. He shook his head, a scoff of disbelief leaving his lips.

"Wow.. You're something else, y'know that? You're sitting here, all cute, drunk, and stoned, trying to feel sorry for yourself."

"I'm not trying.. i feel sorry for myself." you stated, your hazy gaze dropping to your sandals, fidgeting with the belt around your ankle securing it. "Like.. This might be my life. Stuck with a pushover of a mom who lets her boyfriends do.. anything to me, while i escape that bullshit by getting shitfaced, y'know?" your small question at the end to casual, as if you weren't ranting drunkenly. "I don't even know how i ended up, not a pushover. Because my mom is one.."

His smirk faltered, replaced by a look of almost concern and...pity? He shook his head, processing your words, your words slowly registering in his mind as you spoke more. He was taken aback by your honesty, your drunken state seemed to be lowering the wall you'd usually put up between the two of you.

"Jesus.. Doll. You really know how to make things damn depressing, huh?" His tone was still teasing but lacked the usual sarcastic edge.

A snort left your nose as you smiled bitterly, your shoulders deflating in a tired manner, the laugh escaping your lips was almost cynical. You reached for the can of ice tea again, gulping the rest of the contents like a dehydrated man running across a desert. "Yea. I kinda have a knack for being a complete bummer."

Rafe chuckled softly again, shaking his head at your self-deprecating humor. He watched you down the rest of the ice tea, his eyes lingering on the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed.

"Can't say I'm surprised. You're the textbook definition of a downer sometimes, doll." He teased, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.

You let out another bitter chuckle at his words. You couldn't believe what your life got to be. You were sitting on a curb in the front of a corner store venting to Rafe Cameron out of all people in your life. You were too talented at reaching new levels of rock bottom. "You barely know me personally.." you shook your head, still fidgeting with buckle on your sandals.

He rolled his eyes, a mixture of irritation and fascination crossing his features. He leaned back on his palms, raising an eyebrow at your words. He scoffed softly, his mouth turning upwards into another smirk.

"Oh please. I don't need to know you personally, Doll. I can already tell you're a complete buzzkill with a sad backstory. You just seem like the type.." his tone was teasing, but still held a hint of curiosity.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes, your irritation growing as Rafe continued with his observations. You weren't sure what was more annoying, his arrogant smirk or his condescending remarks.

"Well, I guess you got me all figured out then, huh? The buzzkill with the tragic backstory." You muttered sarcastically, a hint of vulnerability in your eyes.

He chuckled softly at your retort, noticing your not so subtle signs of vulnerability. Rafe couldn't help but find your annoyance amusing, but also somewhat endearing. He rolled his eyes in mock offense.

"Oh please, I'm just stating the obvious. You make it far too easy to figure you out, doll.." He smirked and leaned closer, his eyes scanning your face intently.

The look on your face soured as he continued to address you as doll, not backing down when he leaned in closer, "You're not hard to read either, country-club. You're a snobby coke addict with daddy issues.." you mumbled, a small smirk pulling at your lips.

His smirk faltered, replaced by a mixture of surprise and irritation. He chuckled bitterly, narrowing his eyes at you. The fact that you had the audacity to throw his flaws back at him caught him off guard. It was almost refreshing, in a messed up way..

"And yet, unlike you, I don't spend my nights moping around and feeling sorry for myself.." He retorted, his tone harsh and mocking.

You let out another genuine, drunk laugh at his retort. "Wow, you're a functional fuck-up. My bad for moping in your presence.." you teased sarcastically, your words slurred and mocking, dripping with condescension.

He clenched his jaw, his irritation growing with each of your quips. He had to admit, there was something captivating about your feistiness, even in your drunken state.

"Oh, forgive me for being a 'functioning' human being. Sorry if my life's not a complete shitshow. Unlike some people.." he retorted, his words sharp and bitter.

You shrugged casually, reaching up to try and adjust your glasses once again and not succeeding "You're acting as if I'm forcing you to sit here with me.." your words were followed by a small, humorless scoff.

He rolled his eyes, a mix of annoyance and something else flashing through his gaze.

"I could get up and leave at any minute, y'know.. But I figured I'd make sure you didn't pass out here and die on the curb.." he retorted, his tone slightly softer.

He watched as you struggled with your glasses again and this time, he couldn't help the slight smirk that crept onto his lips.

"Maybe i wanna die..." you leaned in whispering with a smirk, mirroring his expression.

A shadow of concern passed over his face before he quickly masked it with a scoff, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Jesus Christ doll, you really do know-how to be a complete bummer, huh?" He couldn't hide the hint of worry in his tone, masking it with a smirk.

"I'm just being honest." you responded with another forced laugh, your gaze dropping down to the sidewalk. The alcohol and coke had made you bold, and you were barely thinking before the words left your mouth. "It's not like I'm living THE life.."

His scoff turned into a bitter scoff, hearing the honesty in your voice. He couldn't help but be a little taken aback. He leaned back onto his palms, staring at you with a mix of annoyance and curiosity.

"Trust me, doll. No one thinks you're living the good life right now. You're practically a walking cautionary tale." His words were sharp, but there was a hint of concern lurking behind his blue eyes.

Your eyes narrowed in curiosity once again, turning to the side to look at him quizzically "Seriously, why are you here? It's not like you to hang around with pogues my calibre.." you asked, honesty dripping from your curious words despite your state.

Rafe's smirk twisted into a sly grin as he heard your question, he was slightly impressed that despite your drunken state, you managed to ask the question he'd been avoiding all night. He shrugged nonchalantly, pretending to be nonchalant.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself. I'm just bored. Plus, you're not exactly bad company.." he teased, his eyes roaming over your figure again, making no effort to hide his appreciation.

You smiled a little at his words about you not being bad company, reaching up to pinch his cheek teasingly "Aww, you think so? You just called me a buzzkill though.." you mumbled, letting your hand drop back into your lap.

He chuckled, unable to resist a smirk at your teasing. He shrugged casually, his demeanor changing to a more relaxed one.

"Yeah, you're a buzzkill. And yet, here I am, willingly sitting in your presence.." he teased back, a hint of sincerity behind his words.

"That's very cute.. it's like you have a crush on me.." you continued to tease him, ruffling his dirty blonde hair.

Rafe rolled his eyes, his smirk growing into a grin at your tease. He swatted your hand away from his hair, chuckling softly.

"Nah.. My standards are a lot higher than you.." he retorted, his comment more playful than harsh, his gaze still fixated on you.

"Didn't you say i was your type back at the gym before we hooked up?" you asked, throwing his own words back at him, retracting your hand once again.

He couldn't help but smile at the memory, his expression turning into a sly smirk.

"What can I say? My standards are flexible.." he chuckled, his gaze roaming over your figure again. His eyes lingered on your exposed thighs in the short dress, his face turning slightly smug.

You watched him blankly before nodding slowly, turning your gaze away. Your hazy eyes wandered around the parking lot of the corner store, eyes flicking up to study the starry night sky and the moon. "I don't have standards.." you mumbled after a few good silent moments, a small chuckle following the words.

He raised an eyebrow at your statement, a smirk tugging at his lips. He chuckled softly, his gaze fixed on you.

"No standards, huh? That explains why you're sitting here with me right now.." he teased, unable to resist the chance to mock you a little.

You whipped your head around to snort in amusement "Is that a self deprecating joke?" you asked.

He shrugged, a sly smirk playing on his lips. "Maybe I'm just the best of a bad bunch.." he joked, taking the opportunity to tease you yet again.

You rolled your eyes with a smirk. You were currently enjoying whatever was happening right now, especially since you weren't stuck sitting on this curb alone. But your expression soured as soon as you thought about having to walk home and deal with your mother's scolding about how drunk and fucked up you were.

Rafe, being perceptive enough to notice the shift in your mood, raised an eyebrow at you. His smirk faded slightly, replaced by a look of mild concern.

"What's with the sudden frown? You look like you just ate something sour.." he asked, his tone slightly gentler than usual.

You groaned quietly, letting your head drop atop your knees, "I don't wanna go home.." you mumbled quietly, your words growing more slurred and quiet.

He furrowed his eyebrows, the pieces of the situation falling into place in his mind. He didn't need much effort to guess why you didn't want to return home.

"Your momma gonna give you hell for getting smashed, huh?" he asked, his voice slightly softer than usual.

You nodded into your knees, a hint of shame and embarrassment crossing your face. You lifted your head to look at him, your eyes slightly wide and glossy from the drunkenness, your mind focused on the sounds around you, the occasional passing car or the sounds of the night, the sounds from corner store behind you both..

He observed you, seeing the embarrassment and shame mixed with your drunkenness. He frowned lightly, taking in the way your eyes seem to glaze over, losing focus, your mind wandering off somewhere he couldn't follow.

He cleared his throat.

"What's so bad about going home? I'm sure mommy dearest can't be that bad.." he tried to say nonchalantly, not wanting to seem too concerned.

"Trust me, it is that bad.." you looked down, emphasizing the word 'that'.

He raised an eyebrow at your emphasis, his gaze locked on you. He could sense the seriousness behind your words, curiosity now piqued.

He leaned closer, his tone more serious than it had been all night.

"How bad can it be, doll? What's going on at home?" he asked, his words surprisingly gentle.

You shifted your gaze away from the pavement again to lock eyes with Rafe as he leaned closer, falling silent. You let out a weak, humorless chuckle, staring at him almost blankly since your vision was hazy and unfocused behind your glasses.

He kept his gaze locked, waiting for you to elaborate on your situation at home. He could sense the hesitation in your reaction, it was like you were weighing your options on whether or not to tell him. He leaned even closer, his expression slightly concerned, his hand gently placing itself on top of your thigh.

"C'mon doll.. what's going on at home?" he repeated, his voice soft yet persistent.

"Why should i tell you? Just so you can make fun of me when I'm sober?" you asked quietly. Your words were just as soft and unsure despite them sounding snarky. Your face twisted into a small, sad frown at his question and at the thought of what exactly was going on at home.

He rolled his eyes, a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Please, I'm not that cruel.. I think.." he retorted with a scoff, his smirk fading slightly as he saw the sadness settling across your face.

He sighed, rubbing soothing circles on your bare skin. He couldn't help but notice how soft and warm you felt under his fingertips.

You looked down at his hand on your thigh, your frown melting into an unreadable expression at the soft and soothing touch coming from the one and only Rafe Cameron. You looked back up at him, sighing before speaking "My mother is a coward of a woman.." you muttered simply, settling on a simple statement although you had a million of thoughts and things you wanted to say but couldn't due to being too drunk and high.

He raised his eyebrow again at your statement, his fingers subconsciously tracing patterns into your skin as you spoke. He was intrigued, but also confused.

"A coward, huh? How so?" he asked, his voice lowered, still stroking your thigh.

You chuckled as if that question was awfully funny, as if you weren't gonna talk about your problems with your mother, with one of the people who was supposed to care the least. Your finger traced one of the many rings adorning his fingers resting on your thigh, studying each and every single one. These were probably more expensive than all the tacky jewelry you owned combined. "She just is.. Caring about men more than caring about your own daughter is cowardly.."

He watched as you traced his rings, his hand never faltering from its' movements on your thigh even though he was curious about your fascination with his rings.

He hummed, noticing the disdain in your tone.

"So your mama puts her man over you, huh...?" he murmured, his thumb gently tracing the skin on your thigh.

You nodded, your face expressionless as ever as you spoke; "And if she's not, she's either passed out, fighting with whoever man she brought over or just sitting on the couch watching tv and ignoring my existence." You spoke coldly, your voice slightly flat. Your eyes flicked up to meet his gaze for a brief moment before dropping back down to the rings. "Cool rings.." you mumbled, still tracing one of the rings mindlessly, trying to get the conversation to shift to something more casual than what it was right now.

He took notice of your attempt to change the conversation, his gaze following yours as you stared at his rings. He chuckled softly at the compliment, deciding to indulge your attempt to shift the subject.

He smirked, glancing down at his hand on your thigh, his eyes flickering back up to your face.

"Thanks doll... These cost a pretty penny."

Your stomach continued to flutter as he didn't remove his hand from your thigh, the touch too casual and intimate for your relationship or level of knowing each other. You pushed the feelings arising as best as you could while being completely smashed, reaching up to try and adjust your glasses "I bet.." you chuckled almost awkwardly, locking eyes with him, one of the sides of his face illuminated by the lights coming from behind him from the convenience store's signs.

He watched as you struggled to adjust your glasses once again, his hand squeezing your thigh almost softly as he took you in, admiring the way the light illuminated your features. You were like a vision he couldn't quite grasp.

He inhaled deeply, his eyes refusing to leave yours as he spoke in a soft tone.

"You look pretty."

His words coupled with his still lingering touch almost flustered you to being sober. Your eyes never lef hist blue ones, a small flicker of amusement flashing over your face in attempt to calm down. This was Rafe, not some guy flirting with you at a party (which he was before.) The two of you were sat on a curb in front of a random corner store at two am. You probably looked the opposite of pretty, your makeup most definitely didn't survive the party and your hair was a mess. Pretty was far from what you'd describe yourself as. "That's funny.." you tried to joke weakly, your words coming out more jumbled than you wanted them to.

He rolled his eyes at your response, a small smirk grazing his lips as he took in your drunken state. He gently reached across to fix a strand of hair that was stuck to your face, his touch surprisingly tender.

"I'm not kidding.. you always look pretty.. it's stupid..." he muttered, his hand absentmindedly rubbing soft circles on your thigh again

Rafe was using the fact that you were shitfaced drunk to his absolute advantage, knowing you wouldn't remember anything he said when you woke up in the morning.

Which you noticed, at least a little bit. Enough to let out a small, flustered laugh at his muttered words, your hand landing on top of his mindlessly, "That's actually funny.." you mumbled back, giggling drunkenly. "You actually like me.."

He raised an eyebrow, hearing your drunken giggles. He chuckled softly, watching as you placed your hand on top of his on your thigh, your touch feeling like fire on his skin.

He leaned in closer, his eyes fixed on yours. "What if I do like you..?" he teased, his tone slightly cocky as always with a tinge of truth behind his words.

You leaned in too, your expression mischievous as you scooted even closer on the curb "What if i don't like you? I'm still stuck in the chapter where we hate each other.." you whispered softly, reaching up to adjust your glasses clumsily once again, drunken giggles and hiccups escaping your lips.

He watched you closely, a smirk tugging at his lips as he watched you drunkenly attempt to adjust your glasses yet again. He let out a low chuckle, his eyes fixated on your face.

He leaned back slightly, his hand still on your thigh, his grasp tightening ever so slightly.

"Yeah right... you don't hate me and we both know that..." he retorted, his expression turning smug.

"Yeah.. i mildly dislike you.." you shook your head, looking back down at his hand, your brain going back to studying his rings.

He chuckled, noticing your gaze on his rings again. He enjoyed the way you seemed enamored with his materialistic jewelry.

He smirked as you responded, a hint of cockiness in his tone. "Just mildly dislike... wow, doll I'm honored."

You leaned in closer, as if you were telling him a government secret once again, "But don't tell that to 'sober me' she still hates your guts.."

He couldn't help but smirk wider, his hand slightly squeezing your thigh again at your words. He leaned closer, your face mere inches from his.

"I see how it is.. so sober you hates me, huh? What does drunk you think of me..?"

You breathed out softly as he leaned in even closer, your noses almost brushing. You pressed your lips in a thin line, his expensive cologne and smell of cigarettes smoke clouding your drunk and hazy brain, "Dunno.. you make her kind of nervous and anxious by being all sweet and nice.." you murmured.

His smirk only widened, his gaze fixed on your now pursed lips. He couldn't deny that he was enjoying the way you reacted. He could see the effect he was having on you and it was making him cocky. He leaned in closer, his nose brushing against yours, his breath tickling your skin.

"Nervous and anxious huh? Doll, I'm always nice..." he countered, his voice soft and velvety against your ear.

You shoved at his shoulder gently, rolling your eyes with a smile, "Stop.. you're just taking advantage of me being drunk.." you scolded even though there was no malice behind the slurred words.

He chuckled, enjoying you trying to scold him despite your drunken state. He leaned back slightly, his eyes never leaving yours.

"Says the one who hasn't stopped staring at my rings all night" he quipped back, his hand tracing patterns on your thigh, slightly higher than what was appropriate.

You shook your head in mock innocence, swallowing as he moved his hand higher, skin gliding against your soft one. In your state his rings and hand looked so... good? No, that wasn't the word. Maybe sexy. Not that either. Maybe it was aesthetic. "I'm a material girl.." you mumbled, placing your own hand atop of his to stop its wandering. "I'm not gonna sleep with you while being smashed.." you warned softly.

He chuckled, his smirk turning smug as he noticed you stopping his hand from going higher. He let out a low hum, his eyes roaming your face, his focus completely on you.

"Don't worry doll... you're way too smashed and I'm not that much of a dick" he reassured, his gaze drifting down to your thighs, visible as your dress rode up higher than it probably should've, his breath hitching for a second at the sight of the exposed skin.

"I can let you kiss me once though.." you teased, your voice as soft and velvety as it could be while like this. Your narrowed eyes were watching the side of his face to see if he was biting your pathetic drunken bait.

He raised an eyebrow, pretending to look unfazed and nonchalant even though he was slightly taken aback, a small smirk tugging at his lips.

"Let me kiss you, huh? Doll, you're being awfully generous.."

"Well, since you're obsessed with me.. I figured i might do something good tonight.." you chuckled, smiling sweetly at him, eyes crinkling at the corners behind your glasses.

He rolled his eyes, his smirk widening, his hand still gripping your thigh ever so slightly.

"Oh, so you're doing me a favor now, huh? Giving me an opportunity to put my lips on you.." he stated as a fact, his tone playful yet holding some truth behind it.

You leaned in slightly, nose brushing against his cheek a little, "We kissed before right? We slept together 2 times already too, it won't hurt?" you whispered, grinning as you continued to bait him.

He chuckled softly, his gaze flickering to meet yours, your words sending a jolt straight to his gut.

"Yeah doll, we did..." he mumbled softly, his hand gently squeezing your thigh again, his thumb beginning to trace your skin almost absentmindedly.

"And no it won't hurt.."

You chuckled lowly as he fell for it hook, line and sinker. You placed a fleeting kiss on his cheek before pulling back, still grinning to yourself, "It's not normal.. To be this obsessed with me.." you mumbled mockingly.

He couldn't help but smile at your words, his eyes following your movement as you pulled back, the touch of your lips sending a shiver down his spine. He chuckled darkly, enjoying the way you tried to rile him up.

"Nothing about us is normal.." he murmured, his hand moving to the inside of your thigh, thumb tracing circles on your skin.

You swallowed thickly while trying to ignore the tingling in your gut; your thighs squeezing his hand on reflex, your heartbeat speeding up. You were both fully aware that all of this had to do with the excessive amount of alcohol in your system. And yet, the feeling of his hand lingering on your thigh, on that very much sensitive area, was driving you absolutely insane. "You're not normal.. I'm perfectly normal and stable.." you deflected sarcastically, your voice quiet and still slurred, almost inaudible over the sounds of the cars and the convenience store behind you both.

He chuckled again, his grip on your thigh growing more firm as he noticed you squeezing around his hand. He shifted closer, his eyes fixated on your face, taking in every single expression, every little gesture and every single twitch.

"You're about as stable as I am doll.." he retorted, his hand slowly rubbing circles on your thigh. He inched closer, his smirk growing cockier as he could sense your flustered state, how you were trying to keep your breathing steady and your gaze steadier.

For context in case you all wondered you weren't easy. Sleeping with Rafe before, drunk AND sober contributed to how you felt around him. That coupled with the fact that you were just terribly touch deprived didn't mix well with vodka, weed and blow. Rafe was the second guy you slept with since losing your virginity, and you had a small nagging feeling that he was gonna be the only one for a while with your feelings for JJ in the picture. Your hand landed atop of his once again, stopping it once again from sliding up further or kneading your flesh in that way that made you tingle, rolling your eyes in mock annoyance "Don't compare me to you.." you muttered without any hint of malice.

He couldn't help but notice the way you stopped his hand from traveling further up your leg, how you tried to seem annoyed with him even though he could see right through it, your flushed cheeks and shaky voice only feeding his ego and confidence even more. He chuckled softly, his smirk widening, his hand still gripping tightly at your thigh, his thumb tracing circles on the soft skin, sending jolts to the pit of your stomach.

"Why not, doll? Can't handle being compared to me?" he asked, his voice a soft and smooth drawl, his eyes trained on yours.

You shook your head 'no' your touch deprived body still focused on his touch and how it was affecting the growing the pit in your stomach. "You're a horrible, horrible mean man.." you muttered, leaning in to whisper mockingly, breathing grazing his cheek.

He let out a low chuckle as you leaned in, closing his eyes at the feeling of your warmth and breath on his skin. He tightened his grip on your leg, his fingertips digging into your flesh just enough.

"Oh doll, you don't mean that at all-" he whispered back, his voice a soft drawl against your ear.

You breathed out shakily when his grip became just a hint firmer, cutting off his statement, "That feels really nice.." you mumbled, a bit too affected by the simplest touch. You needed to stay away from Rafe when sober and when drunk because you couldn't control yourself on either occasions and you knew he wasn't even taking advantage of you at this point if your body reacted to him that way. A small part of you, the one that wasn't in love with JJ of course, thrived under his attention.

He was enjoying this way more than he should. Your drunken words, your ragged breath, the way your body reacted in such subtle but very obvious ways to even the slightest of his touches, his hand still roaming over your thigh.

He hummed contently when you mumbled under your breath about how it felt nice, a small smirk forming on his face.

"You're just very sensitive, huh?" he asked softly, his hand running higher up, his thumb brushing your inner thigh now, almost teasingly.

"You said you're not that much of a dick to try and sleep with me." you continued muttering, pulling back just slightly to smirk at him.

He chuckled at your words, his gaze flickering to your face, a smirk tugging on his lips despite being called a dick. He looked down at his hand that was now halfway up your thigh, biting his lower lip for a moment, before looking back up at your face and raising his eyebrow at your small smirk.

"Well doll, I'm not" he reassured, his hand slowly sliding back down, to just behind your knee, his thumb tracing over a patch of skin there.

You nodded, letting out a small breath you didn't realize you were holding, smiling sweetly at him before leaning in to press another fleeting kiss on his cheek. You pulled back, obviously amused at the fact that you could be more affectionate due to being plastered. You liked being drunk because you could do a lot of things without feeling remorse or anxiety over them.

He chuckled, amused at the affection you were doling him up in such large amounts. He couldn't deny that he enjoyed every single one of them, the subtle and short kisses, and the way you leaned in closer to him. He looked you up and down, realizing just how affected and out of it you were, your words slurred, your eyelids heavy with intoxication.

He brought his hand up to your face, using his thumb to swipe your lower lip, brushing over your soft, drunkenly flushed skin.

You hummed softly at his touch, leaning into his hand ever so slightly as your brain went absolutely haywire, the alcohol coursing through your veins making you needy for his touch. When his hand pulled back, your lips remained slightly parted, your gaze still locked with his, your thoughts completely blank and fuzzy. You wanted to kiss him. God you wanted to kiss him so badly. You wanted to kiss Rafe Cameron while still sitting on a random curb in a corner store parking lot, and you didn't really mind it at the moment.

He noticed the look in your eyes, the way you leaned into his touch, your expression, the way your body was now inching closer to him. His gaze was fixed on your slightly parted lips, he could see and hear how your breathing had picked up slightly. He could see that you were in a drunken daze, completely hypnotized under the influence of the alcohol and.. him, most likely. He leaned in till your faces were almost nose to nose.

You dropped your forehead on his shoulder gently, letting your eyes flutter closed as you whispered under your breath, more to yourself than for him "You're so pretty, so horrible and i hate you.." you groaned almost like a petulant child, feeling yourself grow more flustered.

He almost huffed out a laugh at your words, his eyes softening as you whispered against his shoulder. He tilted his head gently, his hand coming up to cradle the back of your head, holding you close to him, his touch now slightly more intimate.

"I hate you too, doll-" he murmured back, leaning his cheek on the top of your head, his hand gently scratching the back of your neck as his nose grazed your temple when he tilted his head slightly.

You hummed, nodding against his shoulder mindlessly, "That's good then.." you continued to mutter.

A chuckle rumbled in his chest as he continued to hold you against him, his hand still gently massaging your neck. He found himself amused at your constant muttering about how you hated him.

"Mmhm.. very good." he hummed in agreement, still holding you against him, feeling your warmth and being fully aware that he could snap and kiss you any second now.

He hummed against your head, his cheek pressed against your hair, his eyes closed as he inhaled deeply. He felt content, holding you like this, in the middle of a night, outside of some random shop, and yet he didn't care.

"You're going to be so mad at me when you sober up..." he murmured softly, his hand slipping down your neck now, fingers gently tracing patterns across your skin.

Rafe thought you were asleep on his shoulder but despite being slightly sleepy you were registering his words as you leaned into his touch. You were gonna be very mad at him yes. Because he was him and you were you and no amount of alcohol could change that. "I wish you weren't so mean to my friends.. maybe I'd like you then.."

He chuckled again, the sound deep and velvety, his hand rubbing your back in slow, gentle circles now, his thumb tracing your spine. He knew what you meant and he couldn't stop himself from replying back to your drowsy rambling.

"Mm.. you think so?" he hummed, his voice low and smooth against your ear, his lips grazing your hair.

You nodded slowly, burrowing your head further into his shoulder, your voice still slurred and quiet, your words coming out soft against his shoulder.

"Yeah.. you're too mean to them.." you mumbled, your brain feeling heavy and fuzzy, but not too much to stop thinking about just how much you wanted to kiss him. "..i shouldn't want to kiss you.." you continued, letting out a soft sigh. In your current state you couldn't fight Rafe or your need to be close to him. "Mm.. and you're so pretty now.. it's unfair.." As if to emphasize your point you rubbed your face against his shirt, rubbing yourself against him like a cat.

He found himself completely taken back by your words, his breathing slightly quickening, his hand still gently tracing your back as you nuzzled into his shoulder. He knew you wouldn't remember any of this later and yet he still found himself being so close to losing it right here, right now, outside in a random parking lot, your face rubbing against the side of his neck.

"Yeah dolly, life's unfair-" he mumbled against your hair, his touch slightly more possessive as he held you close.

Your soft sighs and the way you were rubbing your face against him was like gasoline to an already raging fire. It took every bit of self control in him to not lose it completely. You were just drunk and rambling, he repeated that to himself over and over like a damn mantra. He could kiss you right now, and you'd like it - hell, you'd probably prefer it. But he could never do that right now, and he knew that. He just couldn't take advantage like that.

He knew something was a bit.. wrong. He didn't know what you took, and despite your insists on the fact that he was obsessed with you he barely noticed you at the party. Or so he liked to tell himself. It was hard to keep his eyes away from you when you were stumbling around the kook parties looking so obviously out of place. But he'd seen you drunk, hell he even slept with you when you were drunk before. But you weren't this smashed. Your filter was almost gone and you were way too malleable and your words too slurry.

But here he was, holding you like he was scared you'd slip away from his grip, trying to piece together what you took and how much of it you took in. He just knew it was more than alcohol for you to be this out of it, to have your walls come down so easily. He knew you'd never allow this much affection otherwise, and as much as he liked you, he wasn't the type to take advantage of you just because you were like this.

He pulled back just enough to look over your face, but still close enough to feel your breath on his skin. His expression was unreadable as he gently lifted your face up to look at him. His gaze flickered over your face, noticing the slightly dazed expression and the glassy look in your eyes from all the substances in your system.

"Dolly.. What did you take?" he asked, his voice gruff, low and filled with concern.

You sighed softly as he took your face in his big hands, rings pressing slightly into your warm cheeks. You lost the string of events after talking to a guy at a party. He was hovering near you for 20 minutes, clearly trying to sleep with you, going as far as offering you a drink, which you took. And drank. Which from party etiquette, and as a girl at a party- you weren't supposed to do. "I dunno.. The last thing i remember drinking was this black Russian, this guy made for me.." you chuckled weakly as you focused on the color of his eyes in the dim light flickering from the sign to his side.

He bit the inside of his cheek as you spoke, his gaze still fixed on your face, searching for any signs of discomfort or uneasiness.

"That's all you drank? Just that one drink?" he asked, his grip on your face tightening just a tad bit, his thumb gently brushing against your cheek. He felt his chest get tight at the thought of someone trying to take advantage of you.

You nodded slightly, enjoying the way he was cradling your face in his hands "It tasted strange though.. i don't think the dude knew how to make a black Russian.." you snorted as if it was funny and you weren't potentially just revealing that your drink might've been spiked.

He felt his irritation grow, his jaw clenching as you mentioned the drink tasting strange. He let out a low growl of irritation as he lifted his eyes to look around, scanning the area as if he could possibly find the guy who spiked your drink. He snapped his gaze back to you, his face filled with anger.

"God damn it- that mother fu-" he started, his grip on your face tightening as he tried to keep his anger in check.

He felt angry, for many different reasons, but mostly he was just so goddamn frustrated. You looked so fragile like this, completely in a daze and vulnerable, and all he could do was stare at you, holding your face in his big, ring covered hands, making sure none of the men walking in an out of the store had eyes on you. His gaze wandered down to your lips, taking note of how parted they were, and he wondered if he could kiss you right now. The idea almost felt tantalizing enough to lose the last strand of self control he had left.

You tilted your head in his hold as if it was filled with lead, supporting it in his hold. The flashes of cold kept rocking your body, switching from being too hot to too cold. "I'm kinda cold.. and my feet hurt from these heels.." you muttered, letting your eyes flutter for a second.

His expression softened as you mumbled against his hold, your words barely making sense to him. He noticed you shivering, your body shifting slightly as if to escape the coldness.

"I know dolly.. I know-" he murmured back, his thumb gently rubbing against your cheek, his gaze still fixed on you, his tone dropping. He let out a silent curse at the sight of those damn heels you were wearing.

He looked around for a brief moment, his brain working on a plan that would somehow provide some level of comfort to you. He quickly let go of your face, dropping his hand to your shoulders instead, his hand slipping down to your arm.

"C'mon, let's at least get you away from the store, doll.." he murmured, his voice soft despite the irritation he was feeling. He gently pulled you to your feet.

You slumped against his side, wrapping one arm around his neck for support. Your head fell lazily over his shoulder, glasses almost slipping from your face. "My feet hurt so bad i don't wanna walk home.." you groaned slightly as he made an attempt to drag you to his black SUV parked further into the parking lot. You were obviously not cooperating, seeing as you were barely dragging your legs, heels scraping against the pavement.

He had to admit you were being so damn stubborn, but he was being patient, and it was taking some serious restraint to not pick you up and just carry you like a damn princess to his car. His irritation flared up at your stubborn whining, but he clenched his jaw and held it in.

He wrapped an arm around your waist, his grip tight around you as he helped you walk towards his car.

Your heels continued to resist against the rough pavement as if you had never walked a day in these things, whimpering quietly, "Please Rafe, i don't wanna walk home."

His irritation rose once more, his jaw clenching at you refusing to walk at all now. He gritted his teeth, fighting down the urge to actually pick you up in his arms, knowing that you'd actually hate that.

"For the love of god dolly, quit being so damn stubborn-" he muttered under his breath.

You came to a stop, stabilizing yourself enough to raise your head from his shoulder. Your face was twisted into a frown, pain etched across your features along with the dazed expression on your face.

He let out a heavy sigh, his hand still on your waist as he looked down at you.

"What are you doin', huh? Just stop complaining and come on-" he muttered, his tone stern, his grip on you slightly tightening.

"Can you carry me?" you cut him off, lip sticking out slightly. Of course, sober you would never, and i mean NEVER ask Rafe to carry you. But it tracked seeing as you were drunk, high and had a spiked drink.

He let out another heavy sigh, his irritation mixing with slight surprise at your words. He studied your face for a brief moment, your lip stuck out like a goddamn pouting child, and he wondered if he heard you right.

"Come again, doll?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

You stared at him silently, still frowning. You looked like a mess, more than Rafe had ever seen you before in the short span of time knowing you. Glasses askew on your face, makeup slightly smeared, messy hair and a smashed and absolutely beyond drunk expression.

He felt his irritation melt away at the sight of you like this, his gaze flickering over your face, taking in the messy hair, the smeared make up and those stupid damn glasses that were still somehow on right. His eyes dropped down to your face, your parted lips, and he resisted the urge to just lean over and kiss you right now.

He let out a long slow breath, his hand still gripping your hip, the words slipping past his lips before he could stop them.

"Come here, doll."

You let out a small noise of acknowledgment at his words, your sluggish brain not registering just how oddly soft he sounded. You took a step closer, leaning against him, your hand slipping around his neck and clinging on weakly.

He huffed slightly as you leaned against him, the warmth of your body against his making everything go fuzzy. He wrapped one arm around your waist, the other moving around your legs. His breath hitched, the contact of your body against his sending a shiver down his spine.

He wrapped his arms around your thighs, hoisting you up in a fluid motion.

You let out a small grunt as he lifted you up in his arms easily bridal style. You let your head slump against his chest as you wrapped both of your arms around his neck. You dangled your legs in the air gently as if this was casual and the most normal thing ever, humming. "Wow.. you're so strong.." you mumbled, grinning to yourself, and Rafe wasn't sure if you were mocking him or just blabbering in your drunken state.

He chuckled softly at the sound of your words, your head slumping against his chest, your legs dangling in the air, being held by him effortlessly. He couldn't help but smirk slightly at your drunken comment, his ego preening just a little bit.

"Yeah dolly, I am." he mused, his tone smug as he started walking towards his car, carrying you like you weighed nothing.

You raised your head slightly, eyes fixed to the side of his face "I've always wanted a guy to carry me like this.." you chuckled softly, dangling your legs from time to time, your words proving to Rafe that you were in fact not teasing him; and you actually thought that he was strong and weren't against this. At least in this state of yours.

He let out a soft laugh, his smirk growing a bit bigger, a spark of something igniting in his chest at your words. He's never heard something like this from you before and part of him felt almost pleased that you noticed his strength, his ego inflating further.

"Yeah doll? Wanted a guy to carry you like this huh?" he questioned, his tone soft and smug, a hint of teasing mixed in as he reached his car.

He gently set you down on the passenger seat, buckling you in effortlessly. Then he quickly rounded the car, opening the drivers door and getting in. The doors locked and the car started up, warm air slowly flooding out of the vents, filling the inside of his car. He turned to you, his gaze running over the sight of you slumped in the passenger seat. You looked so out of place in his car, the sight making his heart do backflips in a way he never thought it could. Your powder blue dress standing out the black interior, your disheveled appearance a stark contrast to the tidy car. "Your car is so, so nice country-club.." you whispered in something that looked like awe, looking around at the lit up dashboard.

He let out a huff of a chuckle, watching you look over the interior of his car through hooded eyes. You looked so out of place yet perfectly in place at the same time. It was almost a little surreal to see you like this. Soft and malleable and vulnerable and not yelling at him. Just rambling and sleepy in his passenger seat.

"Yeah doll? You like it?" he questioned, pulling out of the parking lot now, one hand on the wheel, his gaze flickering over to you now and then.

"You never take me for drives.. Do you not like me enough?" you asked scowling, fidgeting with your seat belt buckle mindlessly.

He grunted softly, his gaze flickering from the road to you, a smirk creeping up on his face at the question. You looked so cute, with your scowl and messy hair and those damn glasses.

"I don't take anyone for drives doll, I like my alone time, remember?" he said, chuckling softly as he shifted his focus back to the road.

You hummed as if you knew that he liked alone time and that he liked to go on drives alone. You didn't know. Of course you didn't. It wasn't like you and Rafe knew things about each other aside from disliking one another when sober. Whatever you got spiked with was definitely very strong and Rafe wasn't exactly sure what would have happened to you if he wasn't the one that found you. "What about me?" you whined quietly, eyes now fixed on the passing streetlights out the passenger window.

He heard the whine in your voice and he knew exactly what you were asking. A smirk crossed his face at your question, as his head filled with thoughts about all the times he'd wanted to spend time with you but just never knew how. His grip on the wheel tightened slightly as he mulled over his words, his gaze flickering to you through the corner of his eye.

"I've never said I didn't like you, dolly.." he responded, his voice quiet yet firm, his gaze fixing on the road ahead once more.

You hummed knowingly once again, still fidgeting with the seatbelt strap. "You just have such a nice car.. It's a shame you drive in it alone.." you pointed out softly, chuckling to yourself.

He let out a low chuckle, his grip on the steering wheel tightening just a little as he shot you another quick glance. You were too goddamn right.

"Yeah.. I never had anyone I really wanted to share it with.." he responded, his voice soft, admitting more than what he should've.

You slumped your head against the headrest of your seat, yawning slowly "How come? You have so many friends and you're so rich.. What about girls? Girls want you to take them on rides right?" you slurred out, sleep already threatening to consume you. Which you tried to fight off.

He chuckled softly again, his mind flashing through the many girls who came and went in his life, none really special, not to him at least. But he knew you'd never understand that. Hell, he knew you'd never even listen. He shook his head slightly before replying.

"Yeah sure doll, there are girls who want drives. But they're not the kinda girls I'd want in my car." he muttered, his gaze fleeting over to you again.

You chuckled softly, reaching up to adjust your glasses on your face, still slumped out on your seat "What kinda girls you'd want in your car, then?" you asked Rafe, your voice still carrying a hint of amusement despite the tiredness swirling around in your brain.

He was silent for a moment, his expression growing thoughtful as he thought over your question, the sound of the night and the car driving filling the air. The silence dragged on, and he couldn't tell where his honesty came from.

He looked at you again, his eyes lingering on your profile. Your hair was tousled and your glasses were askew. Yet, to him, you looked beautiful in all your messy, vulnerable state.

"I don't know.." he murmured, his voice rough and quiet, his gaze flickering back to the road, his mind racing with conflicting thoughts about you. He was used to his own company, to living life his way.

But there was something about you, about seeing you like this. Soft and delicate and quiet. And he found himself wishing that he could see you like this more often. Wishing that he could spend more time with you, just talking and being together instead of annoying and being mad at each other for no apparent reason.

You hummed quietly once again, eyes still closed. Despite that you were seemingly mulling over his answer, as bleak and simple as it was. "I mean.. I get that. I'd never actually thought about what type of guy i like.. Given I've liked JJ my whole life, almost.." you confessed to Rafe under your breath, the words slipping out easily. More than easily than they would've if you were sober.

His mouth curled into a grin as he digested your words, his gaze still fixed on the road. He was almost shocked as he listened to what you were saying, your confession so nonchalant and casual that it almost caught him off guard. He found himself curious, his voice soft in the quiet of the car.

"JJ, huh.." was all he said, his eyes shifting back to the road, his knuckles white on the wheel as his mind ran through the details of your confession.

You sighed softly, a slight hint of sadness present in your otherwise dazed voice. The effect of the unknown substance was slowly wearing off but your inhibitions, however, were still not at full capacity. "But it's just stupid.. because he'll never love me back.." The words slipped out of your mouth as you murmured, and Rafe heard every syllable.

He felt his heart clench in his chest at the sadness in your voice, his grip on the wheel tightening just a little as he tried to keep his composure. The thought of you, loving someone who couldn't love you back, stirred up a feeling inside of him that he couldn't understand in all its intensity. He felt his throat go dry and he licked his lips, trying to find the right words to say.

He wanted to say so goddamn much. He felt his brain and heart racing with all the things he wanted to say to you. He wanted to say that you deserved better, that JJ was a idiot if he didn’t realize what he was missing out on, wanted to tell you that he was the one who deserved you maybe, or that you just deserved better all together.

But all the words were stuck in his throat and all that came out were a quiet, soft.

"I'm sorry dolly..."

Your eyes fluttered open, watching the side of his face as he drove, his features illuminated by the dashboard lights softly. "It's okay.. He has a girlfriend anyway.." you scoffed almost bitterly, wanting to reach out to place your hand atop of his on the gearshift, but your limbs felt like they were made out of lead.

He felt your gaze on him, and he resisted the urge to look at you properly, scared of what he might let on or say if he did. He hated to hear the bitterness in your voice, his mind swimming with all the things he would do to ease your pain at the thought of JJ and his goddamn girlfriend.

His knuckles were white on the steering wheel, his jaw clenching slightly. He wondered why he was feeling so much, why your words and the sight of you like this were so goddamn infuriating.

You slumped down in your seat, head lolling against the headrest of the seat. Your eyes fixed on the side of his face, and you could feel tears prickling behind your eyes, suddenly struck by an overwhelming wave of emotions. You felt so vulnerable and broken, yet the presence of him beside you, the way his gaze darkened as you mentioned JJ and Kiara, made you feel something you couldn't put a finger on. "I don't wanna go home.." you muttered, your voice cracking slightly as you spoke.

His grip on the steering wheel tightened at the sound of your voice cracking, his heart sinking in his chest as he felt something heavy settle in his stomach. He hated to hear you sound so broken, the thought of you going home and disappearing from his sight made him feel something he had never felt before.

He let out a heavy sigh, his expression hardening slightly as he replied, his words softer than he had intended. “You don’t wanna go home, dolly?”

You shook your head despite the fact that he couldn't see you, his blue eyes fixed on the quiet road ahead. Of course you didn't wanna go home. The chateau wasn't a good pick either. Even in your state you knew how strange it would be for you to be dropped off by Rafe at the pogues' main hang out spot. And you figured he wouldn't bother driving over there anyway. Not that you were too thrilled on facing your friends like this. You'd deal with all the scolding for disappearing tomorrow. "No.." you muttered, sniffling slightly before adding "I don't wanna face my mom.."

His gaze darkened again, his jaw clenching at the mention of your mother. A whole new level of hatred towards your mother arose within him, remembering the few times he's seen her around town. It was safe to say the woman was the furthest you could get from being mother of the year.

He let out another heavy sigh as he ran through the options, realizing that you were right in assuming that dropping you off at the Chateau was out of the question. The thought of you being alone, vulnerable and in distress didn’t sit right with him.

And then the logical conclusion to his thoughts hit him, his throat going dry. He tried to push the thought of you at his place away, tried to find another solution, any other solution, but nothing popped up in his mind. He felt his heart race at the thought of it, and before he could think twice, the words slipped out of his mouth.

"You can.. stay the night at my place."

A bitter smirk tugged at your lips, letting your eyes flutter closed again, as if you were filled with some kind of shame. As much as your brain could muster "I don't wanna inconvenience you, country-club.."

He huffed in annoyance, his irritation rising at the fact that you still called him 'country-club.' He couldn't believe that even in your current state, you still managed to mock him. He felt a pang of irritation at the idea of you thinking you were bothersome.

"It's not an inconvenience, dolly." he replied, his eyes flickering over to you again, his gaze lingering on your crumpled figure in the seat, looking so damn vulnerable.

The smirk on your face turned into a small almost grateful smile. You never actually managed to grasp why Rafe didn't bother with mocking nicknames like you did. Sure, he slipped an occasional 'trailer park trash' or even 'bartender' in, but it was rare. It was mostly 'dolly', or even 'angel' on special occasions. That always arose questions in your sober mind but you never bothered to ask why. You figured the older Cameron boy addressed every girl that way. Which wasn't entirely true. But you didn't know that, obviously.

"Really?" you asked after a few moments of silence. Who were you to refuse sleeping at his big, snobby house. Especially given you'd have to crash on the beach or even worse at your house otherwise.

His knuckles were still white on the steering wheel as he responded, his heart pounding in his chest for a reason he didn't know.

"Really." he reassured, his eyes flickering over to you again for a beat before they were back on the road in front of him. He was almost surprised at himself, his brain still trying to catch up with his words.

"We're gonna have a sleepover, country-club.." you teased weakly, lolling your head to the side on the seat, still smiling to yourself.

He huffed again, a ghost of a smirk on his face as he couldn't help but feel a little amused by your usual stubbornness.

"Yeah dolly, we're going to have a damn sleepover at my house.." he replied, shaking his head softly with a quiet chuckle.

You chuckled tiredly, feeling like a little kid, looking excited for a sleepover for the first time. You almost couldn't believe how much your moods were changing in the span of minutes. It's like you went from feeling completely miserable and vulnerable to almost giddy with excitement. The thought of JJ and Kiara, your mom or anything else melted away as you focused solely on how weightless your body felt against the leather seat of Rafe's SUV. Your head was spinning and your mouth was watering slightly, indicating you might be sick. But you managed to hold it in, at least until you got out of the car. Hopefully. "That's funny.." you chuckled again, reaching up to fidget with your glasses. "I feel so weird.." you rasped out, growing more dizzy as the numerous substances in your body were starting to fully kick in. Even after trying to sober yourself up with cookies and ice tea back at the corner store.

His expression turned into more of a concerned frown as he noticed how your voice turned slurring again and your body was slumped against the seat, your movements slower and more difficult than usual. He could feel his body tense up, his jaw clenching as he knew the substances were taking their effect.

"Yeah dolly but keep talking to me, okay? Don't fall asleep just yet.." he said, his tone soft but firm.

"I don't even know what to say.." you whispered, your hand moving to rub at your temple, trying to will the dizziness and sickness away.

His eyes flickered over to you as your hand came up to rub at your head, his expression shifting to something of concern and worry.

"Keep talking to me dolly, anything you can think of." he repeated, one of his hands leaving the steering wheel to reach over, his fingers wrapping around your own, gently pulling your hand away from your head.

Your eyes drifted down to his hand wrapped around your wrist, the grip gentle and warm. Not like when someone would grab your wrist to tug you around or to forcefully stop you. "Well.. my brain feels heavy. It's like i can't think.." you breathed out, the sound an attempt at a laugh.

He continued to hold your wrist in a gentle grip, his fingers brushing over the soft skin as you spoke. He could hear the heaviness in your voice, the effort it took you to speak.

"Yeah? Your brain feels heavy huh? Guess I'm the opposite, my mind is running too fast right now.." he chuckled softly, his grip on your wrist tightening just a little, anchoring you in place.

"My brain does that usually.. It's so fucking fast. But right now everything is slow and nice.." you rambled quietly, studying the side of his face intently as he drove, trying to keep yourself awake.

He felt his heart clench as your words sunk in, his expression softening at the way you spoke, so dazed and calm. It was almost like you were a different person, but he knew it was all the substances affecting you.

"Yeah dolly? Your brain is quiet and slow for once? You're usually so goddamn stubborn and fast.. it's kinda cute.." he teased, trying to keep your attention with the conversation.

"I'm not stubborn.." your expression hardened a little, but it melted away instantly, your body continuing to grow more weightless and numb. "God, i feel so weird.."

He chuckled softly, his eyes flickering between the road and you, noticing the way your expression changed with your mood.

"No dolly, you're the most stubborn person I know. But you won't admit that of course.." he smirked slightly, his hand still wrapped around your wrist as he pulled onto the street that lead to his house.

"Do you know a lot of people, Rafe?" you rasped out once again, your voice becoming more and more weak as you fought sleep.

He let out a soft sigh, his expression softening as he heard your weakening voice. He could sense that you were growing tired, fighting to stay awake.

"I don't know many people. Not really, no." he replied, his grip on your wrist tight as they pulled up into the driveway of his house, the familiar sight of the large Camerons house loomed in the distance.

"Why not?" you prodded, glancing down at his hand once again.

His grip on your wrist loosened for a moment, his eyes flickering over to you as you questioned him, his smirk returning to his face.

"Cause I don't like a lot of people Dolly, and people usually don't seem to care about me." he murmured, parking the car in front of the house before shutting off the engine. He took a moment to look you over, his gaze lingering on your tired features.

You laughed weakly, shifting in your seat. "A lot of people care about THE Rafe Cameron. You just wanna seem humble.." you mumbled, now aware that the car had came to a stop.

He huffed out another chuckle as he unbuckled his seatbelt, shifting in his seat to face you. His eyes lingered on your tired form, his voice still soft as he spoke.

"Only assholes care about me dolly, that much is obvious. Trust me, I'm not humble. People just care if I can buy their loyalty.." he stated casually.

You mulled over his answer as if you were able to hold such a deep conversation, your vision going hazy again, "That must be depressing.." you stated, fighting the urge to let your eyes close.

He gave a soft, bitter chuckle at your reply, his expression hardening slightly.

"Yeah, well, it's the life of a rich kid, right? Can't complain." he said, trying to brush off the topic as he got out of the car, making his way to your side.

He pulled your door open and bent down, his gaze fixed on your tired and sleepy eyes.

"Come on, dolly. Gotta get inside" he said, extending his hand for you to take.

You shifted to face him, trying to unbuckle your seatbelt with slow movements. You didn't really make an effort to get out of the seat, not really able to do with how weak your body was growing and with the pain in your feet from the heels. "I still can't walk.." you frowned in shame, sighing.

He rolled his eyes softly, his expression shifting into something more tender. He was used to your stubbornness. And he was well aware of your current condition, knowing damn well that asking you to walk right now was a lost cause.

"Yeah I figured dolly, I'm not asking you to walk" he muttered, leaning in slightly to undo your seatbelt.

Once your seatbelt was undone, he bent down once again, slinging an arm underneath your legs and the other around your back and in one swift motion, lifting you up in his arms, carrying you towards the house once again.

You didn't complain, barely wrapping your arms around his neck for support as your head slumped against his chest. The house was looming over you, your blurry vision making the dark surrounding it scary. "Your house has always been scary.." you mumbled, casting a fleeting glance towards it before letting your eyes close.

He let out a soft chuckle at your words, feeling almost surprised to hear you say something so honest as he crossed the short distance from the car to the front door.

"Yeah? Well, it's not exactly the coziest place." he replied, unlocking the front door as he kept you cradled in his arms, carefully carrying you inside.

He made his way through the dark hallway, the only sound was the sound of his footsteps and your almost heavy breathing. He reached a particular door, pushing his elbow against it, resulting in a click and the door swinging open, revealing his large bedroom.

He carried you inside and slowly placed you down onto the bed. He leaned down to take off your heels, dropping them on the floor as he let himself flop down on the foot-end of the bed. An odd silence befell, a bit of tension filling the air as his gaze lingered on you. He couldn't deny that the sight of you in his bed, looking so vulnerable yet so utterly beautiful, stirred something in him.

Your body relaxed almost instantly once he removed the stupid heeled sandals, the feeling of the soft mattress under your body almost heavenly in your current predicament. Still, your head continued to spin violently, even more now that you were laying down properly. "I need to go to the bathroom.." you rasped out, already feeling your mouth watering and your stomach stir. "But I'm scared of throwing up.." you muttered, despair evident in your words.

He could sense your hesitation and uneasiness, his expression softening as he realized your current predicament. He couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle, knowing damn well you were a goner.

"You'll be fine dolly, don't worry about it. You're pretty wasted anyway.." he said, his voice soft as he stood up, walking over to you, towering over you again, looking down at your figure on the bed.

You struggled to let your eyes open, glancing up at his tall form towering over you on the bed, frown deepening as you continued to grow more scared of throwing up alone, "I don't wanna be alone though.."

He felt a pang in his heart upon hearing your words, something about the vulnerability in your voice made him feel a way he wasn't used to feeling. His expression turning more tender as the frown on your face deepened.

"Hey, look at me.." he murmured softly, his voice quiet and steady as he leaned down, reaching out to cup your face.

You obeyed, forcing your heavy eyes to open lazily, your tired eyes locking with his own. "You won't be alone, dolly. I'll be right here, alright?" he reassured you, his tone still soft as his thumb swiped over your cheek. Your weary eyes fluttered, unable to do anything but nod, the thought of being sick all over yourself alone was enough to make you feel worse.

He nodded in return, his expression gentle and his touch soft as he moved to gently push your messy locks out of your face, noticing how they were sticking to your forehead with sweat. He sat down on the edge of the bed, his gaze never leaving yours as he spoke once more.

"Alright then, stay here. I'm going to get something for you." he said, his hand reluctantly slipping off your cheek, giving your arm a gentle squeeze before retreating from the bed.

He left the bedroom, moving to the bathroom across the hall and opening the cupboard. He fished out a bottle of Tylenol, a roll of paper towels and a glass. He filled the glass with water before returning back to the bedroom.

He re-entered the bedroom, his eyes locking on your tired gaze. You looked miserable, almost fragile. He walked over to you, setting the items on the bed nightstand before sitting down on the edge of the mattress, beside you once again. "Can you sit up a little for me dolly?" he asked, his hand gently reaching down to touch your shoulder.

When you didn't react to him instantly he felt the unfamiliar sting of fear burrow itself in his mind, letting out a small breath of relief when you hummed weakly, fluttering your blown out eyes open to lock onto his. Even though he debated you actually realized who or what you were looking at, at this point. You sat up, every movement feeling like a great effort, limbs heavy, head spinning and stomach continuing to churn as if you were gonna be sick any moment now. "Bathroom.." you mumbled, voice strained.

He could tell you were a goner, your movement clumsy and heavy, your expression laced with discomfort. He watched, his expression hardening in concern as you managed to sit up, only to hear you mutter the word bathroom.

He wasted no time leaning back over to grip your shoulders, hoisting your body up.

"Come on dolly, lean over. I'm gonna help you. You're not gonna be alone, remember? I'm right here.." he reassured softly.

You didn't protest as his strong arms wrapped under your shoulders, lifting you up effortlessly. Your head lolled back, leaning against his chest as he guided you into a standing position. You wobbled slightly, your entire body felt like it was made of lead, but Rafe's arm wrapped around you, keeping you upright. "C'mon, just a little further.."

He helped you take small, clumsy steps, his pace slow and steady, his grip on your body firm and secure, as you made your way into the bathroom. He could feel your body leaning heavily on, your every move sluggish. He could practically sense your stomach churning, your pale and clammy face showing that throwing up was imminent.

Once he turned the light on in the bathroom though your body became alert enough to slump on the floor just in time to throw yourself over the toilet to throw up in it. Your hands clutched the edges of the toilet bowl, heaving out all of the contents in your stomach easily but violently. All the limited food you had that night burning down your throat along with the vodka and whatever substance your drink was spiked with. Even though you felt scared of vomiting, with each heave of your stomach you felt just a little more lighter and sober.

Rafe knelt down next to you, his expression twisted in concern as he held your hair out of the way with one hand, his other rubbing soothing circles on your trembling back. He felt a strange sense of helplessness as he watched you retch, witnessing the discomfort and pain you were going through. The sound of you heaving was painful to hear, but he knew at least that you getting sick would help you feel better eventually.

Finally after some unusually long minutes of retching and heaving you spat the remaining spit in the toilet, the taste on your tongue so bitter and prickly that it made you retch one last time before raising your head slowly. You instantly made eye contact with Rafe, who was knelt beside you, his hand wrapped around your hair securely. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, frowning slightly "This is so embarrassing.." you mumbled bitterly.

He continued to rub your back soothingly, offering a small, sympathetic smirk.

"Oh don't be embarrassed dolly, this ain't the first time I've had a girl puking all over my bathroom floor. Doubt it'll be the last." he teased softly, his hand moving the rub your back again, trying to make you feel at least a little better.

You managed to roll your eyes, a small smirk pulling at your lips. You were finally becoming aware of the cold tiles under your knees and the dull pain in your feet from the heels, which were now gone, thank God. His hand was rubbing your back almost awkwardly, and although you sobered up a little you were still fairly out of it. "Usual occurrence huh, country-club?" you asked teasingly.

He chuckled softly at your words, his hand continuing to move in soothing circles on your back. "Yeah, something like that. You're not the first and you won't be the last dolly." he responded, his tone soft and casual, his gaze locking with yours as you were still sitting in front of him, looking at him tiredly. You were a mess, your hair all tangled and your clothes wrinkled, but he would be lying if he said that you didn't look hot even in that position.

"I hope at least I'll leave an impression.." you muttered under your breath, holding his gaze.

He chuckled once again, his eyes lingering on your face, taking in the sight of your tired and weary expression. Despite your disarray and messy dress, you still looked beautiful. He found himself staring for longer than necessary, his hand still rubbing your back with a surprising gentleness. "Oh, dolly, you already have.. you have no idea."

"Great. I can cross that off my bucket list.." your words were sarcastic as you studied him, your brain finally registering his form for the first time that night. His messy hair, his face, like the actual fact that this was Rafe knelt down on his bathroom floor with you. His black polo shirt with smudges of your body glitter on his shoulder and chest from carrying you, probably. If anyone saw you two, he looked like a concerned boyfriend assisting his sick and drunk girlfriend after a night out. Not two people who relatively hated one another, who were also strangers to some extent.

He couldn't help the smirk that spread across his face, his eyes flickering over your features as your gaze lingered on him for a few seconds too long. He knew how this looked, him sitting here, on the bathroom floor with a girl he barely knew, trying to comfort her. If someone walked in to this bathroom right now, they'd be thinking something entirely different than the actual truth. He chuckled again, his hand rubbing your back once more, his touch almost gentle.

He couldn't tear his gaze from your face, the sight of you all messed up and yet so beautiful making something stir in him. He was still knelt on the cold, hard tiles, almost like a loyal dog. He continued to gently move his hand up and down your back, almost as if he was trying to soothe you. "You feelin' a little better dolly?" he asked, his voice soft and almost tender.

You nodded slowly, your breathing finally slowing down as your body relaxed from the heaving and retching you just did. If you were completely sober you'd probably be more embarrassed about what just happened. You wouldn't even be here in the first place. But you figured it tracked, given you and Rafe had slept together 2 times already, and that was 2 too many. "Definitely better... Still a lil' tipsy though.."

He chuckled softly as you nodded, his expression softening.

"Course you are dolly.. You've got booze and drugs fightin' for attention in your system right now, it'd take a miracle to get you completely sober."

You let out a genuine laugh at his words, studying his expression closely. At some point in the walk to the bathroom he must've taken off your glasses because your vision was still blurry despite sobering up a little. And you couldn't feel their weight on your face. Rafe had such a strange expression on his face. One that you never saw on his face before. The usual smugness and.. well, unstableness dripping from his every feature gone. He simply looked (and stood on the tiled floor with you) like a concerned person, worrying for the well being of another person. With your last memory floating around your hazy brain being drinking a black russian that wasn't made by yourself, you could only assume what followed was you leaving the party to walk to the corner store while being spiked. In heels nonetheless. How you didn't overdose was beyond you. The vodka, weed and blow should've already killed you but getting spiked? You should've been a goner.

And yet you weren't. Or maybe you were, and Rafe sitting beside you was an angel guiding you through your overdose, your body laying motionless in a ditch. But everything felt real, so you figured you were alive still. God, you were gonna be so embarrassed when sobering up in the morning. You placed a hand on Rafe's shoulder, supporting your weight and trying to stand up straight on wobbly feet. "Come on.." you muttered to him.

He seemed mildly taken aback, surprised at the fact you were actually able to stand, despite your still clumsy movements and almost wobbly steps. He pushed himself up off the floor, placing one hand on each of your arms, steadying you as you struggled to maintain your balance on your feet.

"Slow down dolly, take it easy. You're still a little out of it.. "

Your movements came to a stop once you were back on your feet, supporting your weight on Rafe's grip, your expression turning more serious as you spoke "I got spiked, didn't i?" you stated the obvious truth the both of you were aware of, voice a little awkward.

He nodded, his expression hardening once again. "Yeah. You did. You're damn lucky you made it to the corner store, dolly." he said, his hand moving to your waist to give you more support, as if trying to anchor you to the ground, so you wouldn't faint and fall flat on your face.

Your head hung low, shaking it as you mulled over the situation for a few seconds before chuckling cynically "And he didn't even get to score.. You got stuck with dealing with the aftermath of that asshole's attempt.." you mumbled breathlessly, still laughing as you looked up at him.

He huffed softly, his gaze lingering on your face as his grip on your waist tightened slightly. "Yeah, I guess I did. Lucky me.." he taunted sarcastically, his smirk returning, yet this time there was a hint of something else behind his gaze. Something he couldn't quite place himself, and something he wasn't very used to feeling.

You patted his forearms while nodding "Yeah lucky you.." you echoed "He just wasted his drugs.." the way you spoke gave Rafe the feeling you were trying to downplay the situation at hand, which was a mild attempt. It was an attempt nonetheless and he had to give you some points for that, especially for handling getting spiked as a girl that way.

He chuckled at your words once again, a small smirk tugging at his lips as he shook his head. Despite how messed up you were, you were still trying to downplay the situation. "Yeah, he did. Dumbfuck probably didn't expect you to be still alive to tell the tale.."

You threw your head back, letting out another hearty laugh at his words. You leaned in slightly after laughing, whispering as if you were sharing some secrets and making fun of someone behind their backs and not talking about basically escaping a situation that could've ended so differently for you if Rafe hadn't found you. "Yeah, what a dumbass right? Men these days don't even know how to drug a girl properly.."

He couldn't help but mirror your laughter, his eyes locking with yours as you leaned in to whisper, a hint of amusement flashing in his expression. "Yeah, for real. These dumbass punks don't know what they're doing. Good thing you've got me around, huh dolly? I saved your dumb ass." he teased, his smirk widening as he spoke

You continued to snort and giggle weakly as you watched him tease you, your hands squeezing his biceps as you held onto him, neither having moved from your spot in the entrance of the bathroom "I could've been dead.. " you mumbled breathlessly, gesturing to your baby blue minidress before adding "Imagine this slutty outfit was the one I'd be wearing while dying in a ditch.." you grabbed onto him, swaying on your feet gently as you laughed.

He couldn't help the smirk that formed as he watched you laugh and sway on your feet, his grip on your body tightening to keep you upright and steady, although it made no difference. He shook his head slightly, still holding you in front of him.

"That would've been a real waste, huh? You look too good in this to be rotting in a ditch somewhere, dolly." he said, his tone teasing yet somewhat playful.

"Aw shucks, Rafey.. you have such a way with words.." you teased sardonically, shaking your head in mock flusteredness.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes at your statement. "Don't 'Rafey' me, dolly. I'm being serious. You look good tonight. As good as someone who just threw up in my goddamn toilet can, that is." he replied, his smirk transforming into a teasing grin.

"You'd prefer Raphael, then?" you asked, grinning mischievously, knowing his dislike for his full first name.

He grimaced, an almost disgusted expression on his face as he groaned at the sound of his full first name.

"Jesus, don't call me that, dolly. I'll throw you back into the damn toilet.." he replied, his grip on you tightening slightly as he tried to suppress a smirk, failing miserably.

"It makes you sound like a saint.." you whispered, chuckling as you mirrored his smirk and gave his biceps another squeeze.

He let out an amused huff, one eyebrow raising at your observation. "Yeah, right. Saint Raphael. Don't know if that's exactly the right title for me." he chuckled, his eyes studying your expression for a few seconds, a sense of playful teasing in his gaze.

"Well.. you call me 'angel' sometimes.." you shrugged "We can match.." you spoke casually, slinging one arm over his shoulder as you started walking towards the bed, finally moving from the spot in the bathroom.

He chuckled again, his grip on you firm and secure as he followed your lead, moving toward the bed in sync with you. "Yeah, angel. 'Cause you sometimes look like one, when you're not being a brat. It suits you." he said, a smirk playing at his lips, as he supported you through the short distance from the bathroom to the bed.

"I prefer 'dolly' over 'angel'.." you stated quietly, tilting your head to the side as you reached the bed finally.

He chuckled softly, a smirk playing at his lips as he helped you sit down on the bed, his expression gentle, almost fond as he studied your face.

"Yeah, I know you do dolly." He said softly, sitting down next to you on the edge of the bed, his hand now placed firmly on your thigh, rubbing soothing circles on your bare skin.

"No, you don't. Because you barely know me.." you grinned genuinely, leaning in mischievously as you whispered, your eyes roaming over his features in the dim lit room, the only source of lighting being the light that was still left on in the bathroom connected with the bedroom.

He let out a small huff as you inched closer, his grip on your thigh still firm, almost possessive. He chuckled as you whispered, his gaze never leaving yours, his smirk widening at your words.

"Yeah, i don't really know you.." he muttered, his gaze now roaming your features as well, taking in your disheveled state.

You also let out a soft exhale, your grin melting away into a new expression, one less amused and more filled with awe. The silence and intimacy was tugging at your still sensitive stomach, eyes still roaming over his face but trying to avoid his lips at all costs. God, what the hell were you doing tonight?

He could practically feel your gaze roaming his features, his fingers continuing to move gently over the skin of your thigh, almost absentmindedly. He could feel the shift in the atmosphere around you, his gaze still locked with yours as he watched you intently. He'd be lying to himself if he didn't say he wasn't mesmerized by the way your gaze wandered, almost as if you were trying to commit his features to memory.

You cleared your throat looking away for a split second and muttering almost inaudibly "I need something to sleep in.." which he didn't really register for the first few moments, too focused on your face.

He snapped out of his thoughts, his gaze flickering over your features once more before focusing on what you said.

"Yeah, right. You can borrow something from me." he replied, his grip on your thigh finally loosening as he stood up, striding over to his dresser.

He pulled the handle open, searching through the numerous shirts, sweatshirts and sweaters he had, before selecting a random navy hoodie and bringing it back over to you, shoving it in your arms. "That should work, right?" he asked, an eyebrow raised, while he once again plopped down on the bed beside you, his presence so close for no apparent reason, but you found yourself not minding it.

You raised an eyebrow at him handing you the singular hoodie, looking from his face to the article of clothing "Yeah, when i leave tomorrow morning, maybe.. Not to sleep in. Gimme a shirt.."

He huffed, running his hand through his hair, looking mildly annoyed at your demand.

"Damn, you sure are needy tonight, huh dolly?" he grumbled, standing up once again and going back to the dresser, returning soon, a crumpled white shirt in his hand.

You let out a snort at the sight of the crumpled, clearly worn t-shirt. Guys. Giving you an article of clothing that they already wore.. you rolled your eyes internally "Wow, hospitality on point.. Shirt's crumpled and worn.." you teased sarcastically, smirking up at him "But y'know what..? I'll just take it.." you muttered snatching it from his hand.

He huffed, his expression almost amused as he watched you snatch the shirt from his hand.

"Don't whine about it, dolly. Take what you can get. You're lucky I'm even letting you borrow anything of mine at all." he replied, his tone still teasing as he sat back down on the bed.

You raised your brows as he sat next to you casually, eyes widening as if expecting him to do something. Like not sit down and give you some privacy as you changed. Even though he had seen you naked before, and had been inside you two times. "Uhm... Privacy much?" you asked, tilting your head to the side.

He rolled his eyes at your question, a smirk tugging at his lips once again. "Oh come on, dolly. I've seen it all before, remember? Why do you need privacy now?" he retorted, his gaze locked with yours, a hint of mischief glinting in his eyes.

You scoffed in mock disbelief, rolling your eyes too. "It's about the principle, dumbass.." you narrowed your eyes, standing up slowly. "But fine.." you shrugged, your hand reaching up behind you to zip down the zipper of your mini dress halfway, sliding down the straps and letting it fall to the floor. Leaving you in your white lacy bra and underwear. All of that while holding eye contact smugly.

As the dress hit the floor, the smirk on his face faded almost instantly, his gaze flicking from your face to your now almost completely exposed body. His eyes roamed your form. It was almost like he couldn't tear his gaze away, his expression a mix of awe and desire as he watched you with darkening eyes. He cleared his throat, his gaze reluctantly meeting yours again, his words coming out in a low, almost strained tone. "Jesus, dolly.."

You relished in the way you provoked him, your smugness growing as you made a show of reaching for the white shirt he brought you to wear to sleep in. "Told you to turn around and give me privacy.." you shrugged, pulling the article of clothing over your head and tucking your hair out from under the neckline.

He let out a huff, clearly annoyed at the fact that you successfully managed to tease him, his gaze still fixed on your form as you pulled the shirt over your head. Despite his feigned annoyance, his expression showed a hint of arousal, his eyes roaming over your figure once again, the sight of you in his clothes sending a jolt of desire through him.

He leaned back into the bed, propping himself up on his elbows as he looked you up and down, his gaze now fixed on your legs. He watched as you stood there, fidgeting with the hem of the shirt, the sight of you in his clothes stirring something in him he couldn't quite resist. His voice was a little hoarse as he spoke, his eyes still fixed on you.

"You looked good in that dress, dolly.. You look even better in my shirt."

"Well your shirt is smelly.." you teased, narrowing your eyes down at him, smirking mockingly.

He chuckled, rolling his eyes at your comment.

"Smelly, huh? Thanks, dolly. Nice to know you like the way I smell.." he replied mockingly, his gaze still roaming your form, his eyes drinking in the sight of you in his shirt, the way the fabric clung to your body.

You pinched the neckline, bringing it up to your nose to take a small sniff. Your comment about the shirt being smelly was supposed to just be mocking, but you realized it actually smelled... nice, for being already worn. Expensive cologne, a bit of sweat and maybe cigarette smoke. Actually, a very nice and quite hot combination. "Hmm.. I've smelled better.." you shrugged, looking back at him lounging on the bed, supporting his weight on his elbows casually.

He rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips as he watched your gesture, the way you seemed to subtly inhale the scent of his shirt.

"Oh come on, dolly. Don't tell me you were just smelling my shirt like a creep." he teased, his gaze still fixed on you as he continued to lounge on the bed, his expression growing more and more cocky.

You raised your brows, "And you still have my ripped pair of underwear, we're kinda tied on the title of who's the creepiest, here.." you teased, smirking down at him.

He let out a scoff, his expression going from smug to mock annoyance at the mention of your torn underwear.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that.."

He smirked slyly, his expression now playful.

"They're in my drawer, if you ever want them back."

"Oh my god, i can't believe you still have them.." you muttered shaking your head in mock disappointment, stepping closer to his knees at the edge of the bed, where he was manspreading while leaning back on his elbows.

He chuckled, watching you step closer to him, his expression still smug, a hint of mischief in his eyes.

"Of course I do. I like to keep my souvenirs, dolly." he said, his gaze fixed on your face, his knees brushing against your thighs.

You nodded knowingly, poking the inside of your cheek with the tip of your tongue as if thinking over something. Your options tonight were: 1. go to sleep and sober up normally (in the same bed with Rafe) or 2. sleep with the guy your friends hated, manspreading in front of you. Which you found so very hot. Especially while being still a little tipsy and out of it. And in theory, both options were the same, including you sleeping with Rafe in the same bed, one just included... Sex.

If you were to die tonight, you'd definitely go to hell for the one you picked. You and Rafe could keep sleeping together a secret, right? Right? You were sure it was gonna be fine (not really, but you like to make bad decisions.) You continued to look down at him, stretching out the tension a little more before doing the thing both of you wanted.

He could sense the tension between you, his gaze darkened as you continued to look down at him, his lips slightly parting as he waited for you to make a move, any move. His breathing was heavy and labored, his hand twitching in an attempt not to reach out and touch you. His lips curled up into a sly smirk, the sound of your breathing filling the silence in the hot summer night.

Fuck it. The pogues shouldn't stand in the way of getting good dick from a bad man. You can feel guilty about it tomorrow when you sobered up. Right now you could sleep with Rafe again and blame it on the drugs and vodka in the morning. You hastily climbed onto his lap, knees bracketing his waist as you cupped his face and peppered it with small, rushed kisses. "Guess you really got lucky, huh? That dumbfuck spiked me and you get to score.." you mumbled between each contact of your lips on his face, your words cynical and amused.

He chuckled, his hands instinctively gripping your thighs as you straddled him, his heart thrumming in his chest as he felt your lips brush against his face. He could feel your breath on his skin, the warmth of your body through the thin fabric of the shirt you wore, his eyes darkening with desire. His hands skimmed up your thighs, coming to rest on your waist, his thumbs pressing against your hip bones as he let out a soft groan at your words.

"Yeah, I guess I did.." he replied, his gaze fixed on yours, his expression a mix of cocky and teasing. At this moment, he knew he still had you in the palm of his hand. Despite your attitude, your arrogance and your sharp tongue. He knew you liked him, maybe against your own will. But you were still here, sitting in his lap, kissing him like only a girl who was madly into him would.

Your lips finally found his after kissing around his mouth, your kiss heated and even more rushed, doing what your drunk brain had wanted to do all night since he sat down on the curb with you.

He let out a low, almost guttural groan as your lips met his, his arms snaking around your waist, holding you tighter as he deepened the kiss, his tongue grazing against your bottom lip in a silent request for entrance. His chest pressed against yours, your heartbeats quick and in sync, his hands now roaming up your back underneath the shirt you were wearing. His shirt.

He fell flat on his back when wrapped his arms around your waist losing the support his elbows were offering. That didn't stop either of your kissing, your hands still cupping his face as you hovered above him, kissing him almost desperately.

He made no attempt at changing the position when he fell back, if anything, he relished in it. The feeling of you on top of him, the way you pressed yourself into him, your hands gripped his face as if you needed it to hold you upright, the kiss getting more feverish. He could feel your desperation in your kisses, in the way your hands held his face, his hands squeezing your hips and thighs in an attempt to get you closer.

He groaned into the kiss, his hands wandering over your thighs, up to your waist and back down again, tugging on your hips. His mouth moved against yours hungrily, his tongue exploring every inch, tasting every corner of you, his fingers digging into your skin almost painfully as he tried to hold himself back from being too needy.

The kiss was sloppy and uncoordinated but neither of you seemed to care, your messy hair which was draped down, grazing his face as you squirmed slightly atop of him. In some way being here, away from your mother, or the jealousy you felt when you saw JJ with Kie felt like something you shouldn't regret, despite doing so. Being here in his room, at almost 3 and a half in the morning, while no one knew about it felt better than any line of coke you snorted of blunt you smoked. And you weren't sure if you were supposed to like it as much.

He knew he shouldn't be doing this, he knew it was wrong on so many levels. But the way your body felt against his was like a drug on its own, addicting and mind-numbing. He wasn't thinking clearly, not that Rafe ever really did, but now he wasn't thinking at all. All of his thoughts were replaced with the feeling of your body on his, your taste on his tongue, the sound of your heavy breathing, echoing in his ears. He let out a soft groan, breaking the kiss only to mutter against your lips in a ragged tone.

"You should be getting sleep, dolly.." He said, his voice betraying his words, his lips already moving to your jawline, trailing little kisses from your chin to your ear, before grazing your earlobe with his teeth gently.

You hummed, your hands sliding into his hair as he trailed messy kisses up to your ear, tilting your head to the side "Yeah.. i should just go to sleep, right?" you mumbled breathlessly.

He nodded, his lips finding your neck now. He left a trail of wet, hungry kisses along the soft skin, pausing briefly by your pulse. "Yeah.. That would be the smart thing to do." He said against your skin, his voice lower than before, his teeth nibbling your skin just slightly, just to be a tease.

Your breathing continued to grow more ragged as he nibbled on the skin under your jaw, shifting on top of him slightly as you suppressed a small moan, "I'm gonna go to sleep, then.." you nodded too, scraping your nails against his scalp gently.

He chuckled at your words, his breath hot against your skin, continuing to kiss and nibble and suck on your neck. "Okay, dolly." He replied, his tone mocking, but his actions saying the complete opposite. His fingers skimmed up your bare thighs as if just now realizing that you were only wearing a shirt and underwear. "Then why don't you get off my lap?"

"Uh... cause I'm drunk and you're taking advantage of me..?" you joked dryly, your brain torn between focusing on his kisses and the conversation.

He paused, a smirk tugging on his lips as he continued to trail kisses along the column of your neck. "Yeah... That's right.." he said, his words a little muffled against your skin, his hand giving your thigh a soft squeeze "You're drunk, and I'm taking advantage of the situation... I'm such a bad guy, huh..?” he teased, his words a little slurred, his mind clouded by the desire you've ignited.

You hummed, sighing under the attention he was giving your body "Yes.. you're such a bad guy, Rafe.. A bad, bad guy.. The worst guy out of them all. Very horrible too.." you rambled under your breath.

He chuckled again, his fingers digging into your thighs as his lips pressed more kisses on your neck and collarbone, leaving goosebumps on your skin. "Damn right I am, dolly. The worst you'll ever come across.. terrible, even.. Horrible, you said?" He mumbled against your skin, his voice a little hoarse and rough.

You nodded, finally letting out a small moan when his teeth grazed a sensitive spot on your neck before speaking shakily "Yes horrible.. even awful if you might.."

He smirked again, nipping the sensitive spot on your neck again, his lips lingering there almost like teasing, but also as if to soothe it. "Mmm.. awful, huh? I'm terrible and awful.." he repeated, his words spoken against your skin, his grip on your thighs still firm, his fingertips now brushing over the expanse of your skin. His head was spinning, his mind clouded and fuzzy, the only thing he could focus on was you in his lap, and how hard he was getting from that.

"Dreadful and horrific... Appalling too.." you breathed out, barely even registering what you were saying, your hands sliding back down to cup his face as he continued to kiss your neck.

He chuckled again, his mouth hot and wet as he sucked on your skin, "That's right.. dreadful, horrible, appalling..." he mumbled, his mouth moving to the other side of your neck as his chest pressed against yours, his hands skimming over your bare thighs, the thin fabric of the shirt you were wearing shifting with every move. His lips now on your collarbone, nipping at the skin and sucking it until he was sure he'd leave a mark. He wanted to mark you. Everywhere he could. Rafe was a big, big fan of hickeys, you realized after sleeping with him two times.

"God, you're such a bad influence on me.." you hummed, your brain feeling fuzzy and light, your eyes closed as you focused on the feeling of him on your skin, how your neck felt hot almost burning under his touch, his mouth and his teeth and the way he sucked on your skin, just on the edge of feeling like too much, but also nowhere near enough given you were both still clothed, you more or less.

His head was spinning too, drunk on the smell of your skin, the taste of your skin, the sounds you were making, so close to his ear. He wanted to eat you whole, completely devour you. His teeth grazed your collarbones, nipping slightly harder at the sensitive skin. He wanted to leave love bites everywhere, mark you as his. His hands gripped your thighs desperately, his fingers dipping beneath the fabric of his shirt, brushing against your skin, the need for contact and skin on skin nearly driving him insane.

A quiet hum escaped your lips, your brain growing tired and fuzzy from the sensation of his mouth n your skin.

His lips left a path of wet kisses up your jaw until he reached your ear. His voice was hoarse and his breathing ragged.

"God, you're such a bad influence on me, too, dolly..." He almost growled against your ear, his teeth grazing your earlobe as his hands roamed your body, grabbing and grabbing, just trying to get you as close to him- closer.

"How?" you pretended to sound as annoyed as much as you could, squirming on top of him and carding your fingers through his hair.

He groaned at your touch, his body arching up into your hands as much as he could, trying to find friction from your body, any sort he could. He let out a frustrated hiss, as if annoyed with how much clothes there was still between you two. "You make me act like an animal. You'd think I'd never seen a girl before." he muttered into your earlobe, his breath hot and his words hoarse.

"You have?" you asked teasingly, smirking against his skin at his words.

His response was another gruff groan, his hands gripping your thighs almost painfully, his hips bucking up against yours, a desperate moan catching in his throat, "Yeah. Yeah, I have. But none are like you." he said against your ear, his words almost slurring as he spoke, the need and desire for you almost driving him insane.

Your face scrunched up momentarily as your core brushed against his belt buckle through your underwear. You buried your face into his neck, just letting it rest there as if hiding it and successfully muffling your words "That's cute.. I told you, you should just admit you're obsessed with me.."

He let out another low moan at the feeling of your body brushing against his buckle, his head tilting back instinctively to give you more access to his neck, his hands now roaming lower, squeezing your ass as he groaned at your words, "Yeah, yeah I am... I'm obsessed and I'm terrible and you're terrible, too- you're a terrible influence on me..." he mumbled into your hair, his hips bucking up once again, as he groaned once more, this one more needy.

You felt his hips buck up against you again, you couldn't suppress the small moan that escaped you this time, your cheeks heating up in embarrassment at the sound, your face still buried in Rafe's neck as if you were trying to hide. "I know I am.." you hum in agreement, nipping at the skin of his neck, your words coming out half-mumbled as your brain started to focus on something else other than the conversation with each passing second.

His head was spinning now, his only focus the feeling of your mouth on his neck. He was getting dizzy, almost drunk even, your lips leaving more love bites on his skin, his hands roaming over your body, trying to find more skin to touch, desperate and needy. "Yeah, yeah..." he mumbled, his words slurred, no longer having any control over what he was saying, "I know you are. I hate you..."

You hummed in response, one of your hands snaking under your own body to his belt buckle to try and undo it with one hand and while also laying on top of him. "Oh Rafe, i hate you too.. More than i hate anyone.."

He groaned, low and needy, his hips bucking up into your hand as you fumbled with his belt buckle, still leaving small love bites against his neck. "Yeah? How much do you hate me- oh, keep doing that- how much do you hate me, dolly, huh?" he mumbled, the words muffled by your hair.

The pull of desire coiled tightly in your gut at his sounds, your fingers working hastily to undo the belt while mouthing at his neck "Uh.. very much. You're mean to my friends and me and you're just-.." you cut yourself off momentarily, sighing as you couldn't seem to succeed in your task "You're such a horrible guy, i told you before.." you finished your sentence, not even paying attention to the words leaving your lips anymore.

His breath caught in his chest at the words coming from your mouth, his eyes rolling back at the feeling of your mouth on his neck and your hand still on his buckle, struggling to undo it in your rush, "God, you're so goddamn annoying, too.. So stubborn.. and stupid.. and- ah, come on just get on with it.." he mumbled, his hips bucking up into your hand involuntarily, his jeans starting to get uncomfortably tight.

Your frustrations matched his as your fingers kept fumbling with the belt, his words only adding to it. You groaned against his skin, your teeth scraping against his skin in a moment of frustration, "You're annoying too, you know. And stubborn and- and.. mean.. I'm trying.." you mumbled against his skin, finally managing to undo the damn belt.

He groaned, tilting his head back, exposing more of his neck to you, "Yeah, that's right, say all those bad things about me, dolly.. God, you make me crazy..." He was babbling now, a little desperate as his breathing picked up pace, his own fingers reaching to help you with the zipper of the jeans, the tight fabric starting to become unbearable. "I know, I know, just- don't stop.."

Your words seemed to have an effect on him, a low moan escaping his lips and the way his jeans felt almost painfully tight. Your fingers had become more desperate, fumbling and tugging at his jeans until, finally, you got the button undone. You mumbled something incoherent as your palm cupped his bulge through the fabric of the jeans, your mind too hazy with need to form complete sentences, just letting moans and needy whines escape your lips as you palmed him, slowly, teasingly. "You're.. horrible.."

His mind was clouding quickly, the only thing he could focus on the feeling of your hand on his clothed, achingly hard cock. You felt every pulse and twitch through the thin fabric, the sound of his low moans filling your ears. "Yeah? I'm horrible, dolly? You- you really think that? You really hate me?" His fingers gripped your thighs, his eyes half-lidded, trying to look into your eyes, his breathing ragged and strained as you continue to tease him. He was desperate and needy and he hated it. "Just- Ah, stop teasin' me, dolly... Just- let me have you.. just- just let me feel you..."

The only thing you could muster for a few good moments was a hum, your teeth digging into your bottom lip in concentration as you climbed off his lap to slip your underwear off and throw it somewhere behind you on the floor, the undergarment joining your dress and heels there. You didn't bother with the t-shirt you were wearing just like he didn't, climbing back on his lap again to straddle him. You tugged his pants and boxers down clumsily as you finally let his cock free, hovering over him. "Yes, i told you.. I think you're awful and uh.. Frightful?" you rambled, one of your hands planted on his chest for support as he laid flat on the bed under you, the other teasing your entrance with the tips of his cock.

He was breathing hard, his chest was rising up and down rapidly as he watched you, trying to take you in, his eyes roaming over your body, trying to memorize every part of you. The sight was so arousing, he was almost shaking with need, "Yeah? And you're a terrible, awful girl, dolly..." he mumbled, his words slurring together as his hands gripped your thighs again, his fingers digging into your skin, "You're making me feel some... some- God, I don't even know.."

He groaned softly as you slowly lowered yourself on him, his hand finding it's way to your waist, gently guiding you down on his lap, your breathing coming out quick and ragged as you finally took him in. "Ahh.. Yeah- yeah you're.. you're just- you're a really awful person.. just the worst.." he mumbled, his head falling back against the bed.

Your breath almost caught in your throat, letting out a low, sweet moan as you finally lowered down, the feeling of being stretched out almost too overwhelming for a split second. "No, i think you're worse.." you argued weakly although neither of you knew what you were babbling about anymore.

He didn't argue back for a few good moments, biting his lip hard to stop himself from letting out an embarrassing sound, his hips bucking up once again, trying to get you closer to him, just wanting to be closer than possible. He was losing his mind. "No.. you're worse.." he responded, his words barely even making sense, his brain clouded by his need for you. He knew you were both stupid, awful, terrible people at that moment, but he didn't want to admit it. You both were a bad influence on each other. Albeit for two different reasons.

You shook your head, lowering and raising your hips to meet his movements, hands planted on his chest for support, forcing him to lay down completely flat under you at the same time. You wanted to continue the mindless conversation but your words melted into moans and lustful sighs witch each and every thrust, eyes fluttering closed.

His eyes shut close as you leaned over, his hands gripping your waist tightly, his fingers digging into your skin so hard you were sure you'd have little moon shaped marks imprinted on the inside of your hips tomorrow. His breathing was ragged, a moan getting caught in the back of his throat, almost as if he was fighting it, trying to stay quiet. "But-ah.. but you're- you're worse.. You- you make me act so-so.. awful.." he mumbled, his teeth biting his lip to hold it in.

"And.. and I'm basically a traitor to my friends for sleeping with you for the 3rd time.. I think you're worse.." you argued out, words shaky with pure pleasure as his nails dug into your hips, guiding you up and down or back and forth.

He felt you clench around him and he bit his lip to hold back a moan, his mind clouding even more, the words leaving his mouth becoming mindless and incoherent, "God- you're- you're just.. You just... you just have such.. such an effect on me, it-it's- it's not fair... I'm-" he was struggling to speak now, his body shaking involuntarily as his mind went blank, he couldn't even remember what you were talking about anymore. He hated you, he hated that you had this effect on him, the way you made his body go weak and needy and desperate.

One of your hands scrambled up to cover his mouth, stopping him from rambling, hips picking up your pace as you chased your orgasm. Your thighs were straining slightly as you rode him in a sloppy manner, moans leaving your parted lips in strings. "Just ah-.. stop talking... Oh fuck, that's so good.." you mumbled the last part under your breath, head lolling back as he hit that special spot deep inside you, almost causing you to tear up from the intense pleasure.

His breath hitched in his chest, his back arching off of the bed as he bit into your palm involuntarily, not enough to hurt but just to get back at you, for putting an end to his senseless babble, and to also hold back the embarrassingly loud string of curses and moans trying to escape his lips. His fingers pressed into your hips as he helped your movements, trying to regain some control, but even he knew there was no use, trying to dominate the situation when you've already got him pinned under you. He hated it. He hated how much he liked this. How much he loved seeing you above him, riding him mindlessly like there was no tomorrow.

Your brows furrowed and you couldn't tell if it was from the unbearable pleasure or confusion from him biting into your palm. Your palm retracted itself from his mouth, gently slapping the side of his face in a small warning as you tried to speak between moans and whimpers "Did you just bite me..?" you asked under your breath.

His only response was a small, barely audible whine as a way of apology, knowing he was wrong. His brain was too clouded to think, the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of you riding him, so he didn't say anything, trying to stay as quiet as possible as he gripped your hips and forced you down harsher, the sounds of your moans filling his ears, driving him completely insane. He looked up at you, his eyes half-lidded, his lower lip caught between his teeth again as if he was trying to keep himself from saying anything stupid.

Your hand grabbed his jaw almost forcefully, shaking his head gently while you increased the pace, the other hand still planted on his chest for support. You wanted to say something else, maybe pretend to be mad but you were too lost in the feeling of him grazing deep inside of you with every thrust.

He groaned, his head falling back against the bed, his eyes shutting close briefly, before opening them again, staring up at you as if completely entranced, his words coming out between ragged breaths and grunts, "Doll- you make me crazy.. I'm just- just.." He couldn't form a coherent sentence, his mind going more and more blank as he lost himself completely in the feeling of you, your warmth and your body, the way you were grinding on him in such an obscene manner.

"Rafe I'm about to-.." you whispered almost completely inaudible, your thighs spasming around his waist as you felt the building pleasure finally snap without a warning, the hand on his jaw moving to fist his shirt as you leaned forward a little. Your eyes pricked with small tears, mouth parting in a silent moan and eyes squeezed shut.

Every muscle in his body tense and flexed as he watched you. He could hear himself making some sound, but he couldn't even register what it was, his mind so blank he didn't even know what day it was or what month it was. His nails bit onto your hip, his hand moving to your lower back as he kept your body close to him, his words coming out without a single thought. "God- doll- come here- look at me-"

You leaned down slightly, your head hanging low above him as his fingers tangled in your hair, guiding you closer. His gaze was filled with desire and maybe something else too, something you wouldn't even dare to think about in your hazy state, his eyes searching your face for something. The eye contact was intense, and you found yourself getting lost in the deep, blue sea of his eyes, your brain and body buzzing from the orgasmic high and the intense eye contact.

He was completely lost in you and to the feelings both physical and emotional. The way you looked down at him, so beautiful and wrecked, but still just as fierce and intense as usual, he couldn't take his eyes away even if he wanted to. He felt like someone had turned his insides upside down.

He continued to thrust up into you a few more times before following suit and finishing too, your hands braced on either sides of his head as you both rode out the waves of the high selfishly, the small tears in the corner of your eyes finally sliding down your cheeks and messing up your already messed up makeup even more.

His eyes shut close involuntarily as he finally came, the sounds of him groaning and moaning filling your ears, his body spasming, his fingers digging into your skin so hard there were sure to be little crescent moon shaped marks scattered over your skin tomorrow morning. He kept you close as his chest rose and fell rapidly, the both of you trying to steady your breathing, the tears on your cheeks finally getting to him, his hand moving to caress your cheek gently, stroking the little tear tracks away with his thumb as he looked up at you again silently.

His thumb lingered on your cheek, his eyes roaming over your face, trying to memorize the way you looked. You were breathtaking, no matter what, but now, with the tears and the messed up hair and makeup and wearing his shirt, you looked so damn good he wanted to die right then and there. His fingers were gentle, his touch was almost soft - as soft as the words he mumbled, "You're just so- so-" He didn't even know what to say, his words getting caught in the back of his throat, all he knew is that he didn't have any control over himself around you.

"Awful?" you asked softly, collapsing on his chest, face smushing in his shirt gently. Your breathing was so erratic, and you were sure you saw God for a second there when you came. "Horrible? for betraying my friends for the 3rd time?"

He let out a quiet, defeated chuckle, his arm wrapping around you, pulling you closer against him as if trying to get you even more impossibly close. "Yeah, that's right. That's what I was gonna say." He responded, his voice barely above a whisper, feeling your cheek pressed against his chest and your hair tickling his neck. "Although, I believe I used those words for a different reason earlier." He added, his fingers gently skimming your back.

"Yeah, foreplay.." you mumbled, your words and weak chuckle muffled by the fabric of his black polo shirt.

He couldn't help but chuckle too, his brain still slightly fuzzy from everything that just happened, but he could still recognize the humor in your comment.

"Yeah, that too." He mumbled back, his hand continuing gentle pats on your back, pausing momentarily, before speaking again, his tone shifting to a more low and serious one.

"How bad of a person am I for being okay with you betraying your best friends for me, huh?"

"Not for you... with you. And on a scale of one to ten, maybe a strong eleven.." you continued to mumble lazily, not really particularly guilty at the moment.

He chuckled softly again, his hand moving from your back to your hair, playing with it mindlessly. "An eleven, hmm?" He repeated, his voice soft and quiet, as he looked down at you, "Damn.."

A/N: This fic is so funny to me because 1. it's supposed to be a JJ centric and 2. In this flashback they had been been sleeping with each other for 1 week, or 3 times. And THAT'S how they act. They continue to do that for 4 more months also, pretending like what they're doing is casual and not the definition of a relationship. Anyway i live for whipped Rafe❤️ next chapter is probably gonna be another flashback!

Tag-list*:･ﾟ✧ @cali-888, @bee-43, @jjscoquette, @melsbels-zip, @stanseventeen @wh0reforbucknasty @wtfisastiles @annaconscience @pqndxra @carrerascameron @nini2mem @iynsane @gublerstylesobrien1238

[skyrigel]

me: feels unloved *searches x reader tag*

[maybanksprincess]

jj maybank headcannons!

warnings: none, pure fluff!

requested by this ask! thank you anon <3

pairings: boyfriend!jj x shy!girlfriend!reader <3

ᥫ᭡ shy!girl!reader who always has to tutor jj because he cant listen in class for shit. lucky for him, his girlfriend has all the notes, cause shes observant <3

ᥫ᭡ shy!girl!reader who tugs on jjs arm when shes ready to leave a public setting, or just wants to get out of a conversation, luckily her boyfriend is good at making excuses.

ᥫ᭡ shy!girl!reader who always asks jj to order her food for her in a drive thru, or when waiters take their order, cause shes too shy to tell them what she wants, afraid she will stutter or say something wrong.

ᥫ᭡ shy!girl!reader who hates going on on dates in public, not because shes embarrased of jj, but because shes scared she will get mean looks.

ᥫ᭡ shy!girl!reader who texts jj when she meets up with him at a place, making him come get her instead of finding him her self

𓆉 boyfriend!jj who always has to make the first move in the relationship, whether it be the first kiss, first time having sex, first time sleepover, etc. but ofc he doesnt mind, because he loves how shy his girl is, he knows that shes only his.

𓆉 boyfriend!jj who doesnt pay attention in school on purpose, so that when he gets home he can call his pretty girlfriend over to teach it to him instead of a lame teacher <3

𓆉 boyfriend!jj who constantly does goofy things to try and get you to bring out your goofy side that he hardly sees

𓆉 boyfriend!jj who randomly pecks your lips or your forehead, during conversations with others when your sitting on his lap, to let you know he's still there

𓆉 boyfriend!jj who always lets you rant about books or movies to him, even if he doesn't understand because he doesn't ever wanna not hear you talk.

[r4di0h3ad]

just practice

paring! bsf!jj x reader

in which! you have a date coming up and you still haven’t lost your virginity, so you go to your best friend in the hopes he will help you out and save you from embarrassment

warnings! smut. loss of virginity. oral sex (f. receiving) pnv sex. unprotected sex.

part 2

you find jj at the chateau, laying in a hammock on the porch with his shirt off and a joint between his fingers. you could smell the scent of weed before you even made it to the door and jj gave you a smile when he noticed you.

“hey, j.” you greeted, now standing in front of the bench. “you busy?”

“what’s it look like?” he took a long drag from the joint and exhaled. you couldn’t help but grin at his glazed over eyes and his genuine, high smile.

you glanced into the screen door, looking for john b, or anyone else, but couldn’t see well from the smoky haze.

“anyone home?”

he shakes his head no.

“kie and pope are working, think john b’s out with sarah.” he says. “why? you okay?” his eyes soften and you notice his look of concern.

“yeah,” you smile, “everything’s fine, just need to uh- talk to you.” you had no idea how you were gonna go through with this without making it incredibly awkward. you already felt sick to your stomach at the thought of him rejecting you and never seeing you the same way after this.

jj nods and stubs out his joint. he stands up and opens the screen door, motioning for you to enter first.

“after you.”

you smile and step inside, but you soon begin to feel ill at the fact that you were really going to ask him this. you wanted this to happen, but you were terribly nervous.

you lead him to his room and close the door behind you. he sits on the edge of the bed and you follow, sitting crisss cross, facing him.

“you sure everything’s fine?” he asks, obviously questioning the fact that you wanted to speak to him in his room, and that you were silent.

“i told you about that guy i’ve been talking to for a few weeks, yeah?” you start, not wanting to make eye contact with the boy.

“yeah.” he nods.

you try not to pick at the skin of your fingernails.

“okay, well, he asked me out.” you say. “the date’s tomorrow.”

he furrows his eyebrows in question, noticing that you sounded kind of disappointed about something that was supposed to be good.

“well that’s a good thing, right?” he scoffed. “i mean, i cant remember the last time you went on a date.”

“shut up.” you nudge him. “yeah, it’s a good thing… i like him- i think.”

“alright, well, that’s all you wanted to tell me?” he asks. “you don’t need dating advice right? because i can’t help you in that department.”

you fight a smile at his remark and shake your head no.

“okay, here’s the thing.” you sigh before you force out your next words, absolutely dreading his reaction. “i don’t know if he’ll wanna sleep with me eventually, and, well he’s kind of experienced with girls and all that, and i’m kind of…. not.” you cringe at your choice of words, already regretting coming to jj out of embarrassment. you glance at him momentarily and he seems to be studying you, waiting for you to keep talking. “what i mean is, like-“ you sighed. you knew you sounded like a complete idiot, but you didn’t want to back out now.

“you know i’m a virgin, right?” you didn’t even want to look at him after the words came out of your mouth.

he smiled a little.

“i, uh, i figured.” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly and cleared his throat.

“don’t be a dick.” you shove him once again and he chuckles, which allows you to lighten up just slightly. “i’m saying that i don’t know what i’m doing - y’know, with guys and all that. i don’t want to embarrass myself in front of him.”

“so you want… sex advice? from me?” he asks, raising his eyebrows with suspicion.

you nervously bite the inside of your cheek and your face grows hot.

“well, i thought maybe a little more hands on.” you said before you could even stop yourself. you knew you had to just come out and say it or you would’ve backed out and nothing would ever come of this situation. you searched his face for a reaction.

he looked confused, but he didn’t seem whole heartedly against the idea. the silence between you both was becoming awkward and you felt the need to explain yourself, hopefully making the situation sound less like you were coming on to him and more like a friend just asking for help.

“i mean like, because you’re a guy and all, you would know what guys like best, i guess?” you said, as you watched him cross his arms over his chest and lean against the headboard of the bed. “and i was thinking about the fact that i’m going on a date for the first time since freshman year and now there’s a very high chance that i’ll sleep with him in the coming weeks, and it just- i don’t know, the idea of losing my virginity to someone i’ve known for a month didn’t really sound good to me.” you we’re rambling at this point to try and defend your case. “i would rather do it with someone i know, and trust.”

“you want me to take your virginity?” he asked, blatantly. “that’s what you came here for?”

you nod, probably chewing a hole into your cheek now.

“if it’s too weird for you, you don’t have to do it at all, it’s okay.” you said. “you were just the only person i felt like i could ask without it being awkward.”

“no, no,” his expression softens and he shakes his head, pulling his arms from his chest and taking his back off the headboard. “i’ll do it.”

“really?” your eyes light up because you expected this to go far south.

“yeah, no big deal.” he shrugs, even though in his head he knew it was a huge deal. he was going to be your first time and if he screwed it up, there was no telling what would happen between you two. “but, this won’t change anything between us right?” he asked. “like i just don’t want it to be awkward afterwards.”

“i swear.” you said, although you didn’t entirely know if that was the truth. “you’re just helping me out, right?”

“alright.” he responds. “you, uh, you wanna do this now or..?” he clears his throat again, visibly getting nervous, but your fears seemed to be disappearing now that you knew he wasn’t against the idea.

“the sooner, the better.” you said.

jj gets up from the bed and flips the lock on the door on the off chance someone were to come home.

“just a warning though,” you start, “i’ll definitely be really bad at this compared to the other girls you’ve been with.”

“that’s all right, you gotta learn somewhere.” he says, walking back to you and stopping right in front of where you were sitting on the bed. your heart started to race as the reality of what you were about to do started setting in. he sits down next to you and you could smell salt water and weed on his skin. “i’m gonna start with kissing you, is that okay?” you searches your face for confirmation and you nod, giving him the okay. “and you’ll tell me if i’m taking things too fast or if you wanna stop, right?”

you giggle a little at his attention to the matter.

“yes jj.”

you see a very slight smile appear on his lips before he slowly leaned in and connected them with yours. he tasted like weed but in the most perfect way as he skillfully moved his lips in sync with yours. his tongue softly swiped your bottom lip at the same time his hands found their way to the sides of your face and he held you there gently. you took him touching you as a sign to occupy your own hands with his body as you brought your hands around his back, feeling his bare skin.

his kisses started leading down your chin, and further down onto your neck where he connected his lips with your skin. you shivered at the new feeling of someone kissing your neck as he went lower still, reaching your collarbone. he pulled away and tugged at the him of your shirt, asking for more access to your body and he helped you out of the fabric.

“you doin okay?” he asks.

“totally fine.”

he connects his lips to your collar again as he carefully lays you down onto your back. he fights the urge not to leave any hickeys on you, knowing you had a date tomorrow.

you scoot your body up until you’re in the middle of the bed so that he can easily get on top of you. he continues kissing your body, getting lower and lower and with each passing second, you could feel yourself getting hotter and your arousal getting stronger. his mouth reached the waistband of your jean shorts and he looked up your for permission to take them off. you nodded and he unbuttoned them before sliding them down your legs and tossing them somewhere on the floor.

jj kissed the curve of your hipbone and you mindlessly rolled your core up towards his mouth, to which you could feel him smirk against your skin at your neediness.

“i’ll get there princess.” he said against the space under your bellybutton. you practically lost your breath at his words and your cheeks flushed out of embarrassment.

he continued kissing you even lower, placing his lips over clothed core and hooking a finger underneath the hem of your bikini bottoms.

“can i take these off?” he asked.

“please.” you nod, almost sounding too desperate.

he pulls your bottoms down your legs, leaving you exposed to him. the first time anyone had seen you like this, and you were thankful it was jj and not some random boy who didn’t know the first thing about you.

“you still alright?”

“jj,” you giggle. “i’ll tell you if somethings wrong, okay?”

“just being courteous.” he joked.

he brought his hand to your now bare core and used his thumb to swipe a line from your entrance up to your clit, making you whine from just one touch. he spreads your wetness around your clit, his pants growing tighter at the sight of your arousal. as he rubs painfully slow circles, he searches your face for signs of enjoyment, but your eyes were shut tight and your lips were parted, quiet whimpers leaving your mouth.

“just relax, okay?” he said, to which you nod eagerly. you were totally not relaxed at all. in fact you were amped on adrenaline from the way he kissed you.

and then before you could register what was happening, you felt something new touching you. you opened your eyes and looked down at jj’s face in between your thighs, seeing his tongue swirling over your clit. it felt better than any time you had ever touched yourself. his eyes met yours for a second and you wondered why you never asked him to do this any sooner even though you pictured him going down on you many times before

your hands found their way to his blonde locks, your fingers tangling into his hair as you threw your head back on the pillow.

“oh my god, jj” you moaned, to which he picked up the pace a little. he gripped your thighs firmly, holding them apart, occasionally rubbing circles into your skin with his thumbs to relax you.

his lips wrapped around your clit and he sucked, making you jolt your hips up in pleasure at the new sensation. your legs were trembling under his grip and jj didn’t think he could get any harder, but he was, in fact, getting harder by the minute.

“jj,” you moaned his name, “please don’t stop!” you were pulling his hair tighter, trying not to be too loud in case anyone were to come home, but it was impossible to keep your mouth shut with the way he was eating your pussy. “feels so good” you cried.

your hips were rocking back and forth, rolling in the same rhythm as his tongue, practically riding his face. he knew you were close based on the fact that your moans were getting closer together and your legs were shaking harder. he suddenly switched the direction of his tongue, now going side to side and occasionally sucking on your clit, swallowing your juices.

your back was arched off the bed, your hands flying to the sheets for something to hold on to as your high approached in small waves. you moved one hand to cover your mouth, trying to stifle your moans, but jj immediately reached up to your arm and pulled it from your face, not stopping his movements.

“need to hear you cum” he said against your clit before harshly sucking on it.

“fuck” you moaned, his words alone almost leading you over the edge.

he snuck two fingers into your entrance and slowly moved them against the sweet spot inside you. the mixture of his mouth expertly lapping at your clit and his fingers pushing into you had you coming undone.

“fuck- don’t stop- please- don’t st-“ you couldn’t even get the last words out as you felt yourself completely lose control. you didn’t know how loud you were moaning because all of your senses had faltered as the tidal wave of ecstasy crashed over you.

he kept licking until you had fully ridden out your orgasm, and even then, he continued, his grip still tight on your legs as they trembled. you pushed his head away from the overstimulation and then lay limp, your chest rising and falling as you came down, your eyes still closed.

“need a second?” he asked, mockingly, his hands running up your torso and to your still covered breasts. he felt your nipples harden under your bikini top and he desperately wanted to get you out of it.

you wrap your arms around his back and pull him on top of you, connecting your lips with his again. he immediately kisses you back and reaches behind you to undo your top, which quickly comes off and jj’s eyes land on your breasts. he takes them both in his hands and leans over you to suck your nipple, making you shiver.

you occupy your own hands with his belt, fumbling with the clasp until it’s undone and pulling it through the loops.

he pulls himself away from your tits and starts undoing the zipper before his eyes meet yours.

“you sure you’re okay with this?” he asks.

“i wouldn’t be fully naked in front of you right now if i wasn’t.” you joke.

he gets up from the bed to take his shorts off and look around the room, presumably for a condom.

“john b’s gotta have some around here, hold on.” he says, opening up the top drawer of the dresser and rummaging through the pairs of socks and underwear.

“you don’t have to, jay.” you say, but he doesn’t listen, still looking inside the dresser for any small, silver packages. “i’m on birth control.”

he turns around cocks his head at you.

“what?” you question. “makes my periods lighter.” you shrug.

“i’m still pulling out though.” he says before he walks back to the edge of the bed and slides his boxers off, revealing his achingly hard cock. you visibly got nervous at his length, swallowing the saliva in your mouth. jj notices the redness in your face and gets into the bed, pushing hair out of your face with his fingers. “i’ll stop if it’s too much, just tell me.” you nod, anxiously and he positions himself on top of you, stroking his cock a few times before you feel his tip at your entrance. his eyes meet yours for confirmation and you give him a nod.

his cock slowly pushes into you, not even an inch as he doesn’t want to hurt you. you shut your eyes hard, preparing for it to hurt, but you feel barely any pain. he kisses your neck and pushes himself in a little farther.

“this feel okay?” he asks against your skin.

“feels good, j.” your hands find their way to his back again.

once he bottoms out, you feel a slight pressure at your cervix before he slowly starts moving, giving you time to adjust to the feeling.

you hear jj moan in your ear from the painfully slow strokes he was taking, trying to keep himself from going too fast for you. his cock rubbed against your g-spot and you kiss the area in between his collar and neck.

“i’m okay jj.” you reassure him. “faster, please.”

he picks up the pace and continues kissing your neck. your nails dig into the skin of his back.

“you feel so good” he moans. “doin’ so good for me- fuck.” he didn’t even realize what he was saying, but you enjoyed the hell out of it. his praises added to the pleasure of him inside you.

he was going fast enough now that you could hear your skin hitting against each others as your hips connected. every thrust was stroking your sweet spot and you were pretty sure you were leaving scratches on his back, but jj felt too good to even notice.

he leaned back a little so that all his weight was on his knees and his back was straight as he grabbed one of your legs for support and used his other hand to rub your clit at the same time he was fucking you. the double stimulation illicited a loud moan from you that encouraged jj to keep going, almost nearing his end.

his thrusts were getting sloppier and his breathing was heavier but he wanted to make you finish before him. your chest heaved, feeling the new sensation of him filling you up at the same time as his fingers worked on your clit. the pressure was building up and you knew you were close. you suddenly pulled him against you so that your chests were pressed against each others.

“fuck- jj” you moaned. “m’so close.”

his heavy breathing sounded like heaven to you as he started to fuck you even harder, his cock sliding perfectly in and out of you.

“sweetheart” he moaned into your neck. “m’not gonna last much longer.”

almost immediately after he said those words, you felt the band in your stomach snap as you came around his cock, squeezing and pulling him deeper inside you. you cried out his name as he fucked you through your second orgasm.

“fuck, baby-“ he pulled out of you and stroked his cock that was slick with your wetness. you watched his face contort in pleasure, his eyes barely open and his lips parted, his eyebrows furrowed. his cum shot onto your stomach and tits.

he tried not to stare too long at the mess he made of you, realizing almost as soon as he finished that this was a one time thing he may never get you like this again.

he got out of the bed and grabbed a shirt of the floor, which he cleaned you up with and tossed it.

“you okay?” he asked again.

you rolled your eyes.

“how many times are you gonna ask that?” you scoffed. “i liked it, j. don’t know how my date’s gonna top that.” you joked.

then, jj remembered that this was all practice for you to go and have sex with another guy and he suddenly felt sick. he pulled his boxers back on and picked up your articles of clothing from the floor and tossed them to you.

the truth is, you didn’t even want to go on that date anymore. not after the way jj took care of you.

“hey, jj!” a voice, john b’s, ripped through the chateau and both of your eyes widened, looking at each other with panic. “you home?”

you swiftly put your bottoms and shorts back on in under 30 seconds and shrugged yourself into your flimsy shirt while jj was putting his belt back on. you quickly exited john b’s room before he could see where you both came from and you nervously greeted him in the living room to see that sarah and kie were home as well.

“heyy, jb.” jj said, awkwardly.

“what have you two been doing all day?” john b asks.

kiara walked over to the kitchen to grab a beer and when she turned around, she noticed the marks on jj’s back. she paused in her steps.

“jj, what’s with all the scratches on your ba-“ and then she realized. her face contorted in disgust. “ewwww, are you guys fucking serious?”

your face grows hot with embarrassment and you wanted to dig a whole to die in, but john b seems barely faced as he walked past you, saying something near you.

“at least you made that boy’s dreams come true.”



[robinsgrl]

Rafe with weird girl is a bit more nonchalant and tame compared to JJ with weird girl. he WILL match your freak and that’s a threat and yeah you might be weird but he’s much weirder he makes you shy. YOU.

weird girl masterlist

MDNI 18+

you’re talkative. You’re never not talking someone’s ear off. Most people can’t handle it. Sometimes your own friends need a moment of silence. But never JJ.

you’re laid back on your bed, legs spread open as his face hides between you. “deb deserves so much better. her boyfriend is such an asshole.” you breathe out shakily as he laps at your cunt.

he hums into you, nodding. “she does, mama. much better.” he dives right back in, your fingers threading through his hair.

“yeah, and the weird thing is she doesn’t think she does,” a small moan leaves your lips but you continue. “we tell her all the time. oh! I forgot the worst part! when they were on a break, he came to the store and-and bought condoms. at her register.”

this makes him pull his face from your heat, eyes wide as he looks down at you. “no fucking way.”

You nod, just as exasperated. “yeah, i know, it was fucking crazy” you tell him as you push his head back down

you’ve gone fishing with him and you’re so damn bored. you came to tan but the suns slowly going down and you're sure you’re as tan as you can be. he adds bait one last time and throws it far into the water. your eyes trail on his strong arms that are flexing under the soft hue of the sunset.

you dont even question your thought. you lean over and chomp down onto his bicep. he’s not even phased. “what’s my sunscreen taste like?” he asks as he glances over at you with a pretty smile. it makes your cheeks flush.

“delicious. wanna try mine?” it’s a joke. but you should know better than to joke like that with him. he doesn’t hesitate to drop his rod and rush to you.

a loud laugh leaves you as he tackles you in a hug, making you land on him as he falls to his back on the boat. he’s nipping at your neck, biting and sucking on you. “jj!” you can’t stop the happy laughs that leave you.

“you taste so good, mama!” he trails his lips down to your chest and bites the side of your boob that’s pressing out of your bikini. it doesn’t take long for him to fully take your tit out and bite your pebbled nipple.

“JJ!”

you’re in bed with jj when you realize something. he’s butt naked. “bro, where are your pants?”

“bro, i like letting my balls get air”

“bro, are you clenching your cheeks right now?” You ask with a laugh as you smack his ass. He lets out a fake moan and pushes his ass to you.

“Bro, i loved that. Do it again.” He’s laying on top of you now, feeling his everything against you. Your hands fall to his butt and you easily squish his cheek. “Bro, im getting a boner.”

“Your bro is giving you a boner? Bro, that’s fruity.”

He nuzzles his face into your neck as you keep smacking his naked butt. “Your little butt is so cute” you comment.

“My butt is NOT small”

“Yes, it’s a tiny lil bubble butt”

“There’s nothing tiny about me, mama” you laugh as he rolls his hips into you.

“JJ! Oh my god!” You laugh and try and push him off of you.

Yeah, no one can ever truly grasp JJ’s freak— he leaves you miles behind. Moral of the story…… he wins.

[thewritergx]

Texts between JJ’s little sister and secret bf!Rafe

Fucked around and got myself addicted to making these. Here's the smut to go with this: Lavender

[almadelsur]

💋 The Secrets One Keeps

summary: You're in love with jj but he's with kie, so in moments of pure desperation you often find yourself turning to the person he hates the most...rafe

warnings: some good old angsty pining, very very slight smut if you squint, fem!reader, one or two uses of y/n, plz let me know if I missed anything

a/n: SHE'S BACKKKK, so I've decided to completely reformat and re-post this fic with a few tweaks and editing considering i first wrote this like 3 years ago, and yes for those of you who have been asking, I fully intend to finallly continue this fic....more info on that later ;)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・

JJ’s eyes change the moment Kiara steps into any room. Immediately his presence is ripped away from your immediate atmosphere, popping the little bubble you'd spent all afternoon crafting as he sprung up to greet the olive-skinned enigma that captured his affections.

“Kie!” The joy in his tone was incomparable to anything he’d directed at anybody else. Nothing could draw out such happiness from the blonde. You hated that about her.

In an attempt at self-defense, your brain shut itself off. Shielding you from processing the scene in front of you, your emotions ran cold like cement pouring down and across your neurons. It was the only way you could survive such a beating to your heart.

You figured that by distancing yourself mentally, you wouldn’t have to raise suspicion and distance yourself physically. In reality, you knew the real reasoning was your inability to stay away from JJ but the facade helped you cope.

“Hey J” she embraced him and his body relaxed around her as if she was the only source of his happiness. The only way he’d find alleviation from what he perceived as a shitty life being through her. “Sorry I’m late my parents had me running like crazy at the wreck today.”

Scattered greetings filled the air from the rest of the pogues, yet you could only focus on the way his eyes fixated on her like she was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

“Here come sit baby” he offered her the seat he had just previously been place holding. What you thought had been quality time with your best friend, presented itself to you now as momentary attention to pass the time until his actual desire arrived.

Settling herself down and offering you a wide smile, her shoulder bumped against yours gently as a sign of acknowledgment.

“Hey dude” she directed at you, but you didn’t reply. You just couldn’t bring yourself to pretend. Not today anyway. Instead, you offered her a small smile, it was minimal but it was the best you could do under the circumstances.

“Yo" A crumpled tissue paper flew at your head, jj attempting to refocus your attention on him, "didn’t you say you were gonna get some water or something?” He spoke up, the scheme evident in his tone.

“um yeah I guess” You lifted yourself up and took a few steps before jj used the opportunity to slump himself down where you had been sat and sprawled his arms across his girlfriend’s shoulders.

“snooze ya loose sucker” he joked as he turned to Kiara to start up some mindless conversation. Leaving you behind in the dust.

Your teeth gritted as you focused on making your way to the kitchen hoping the distance from the scene unfolding would lift the iron grip on your heart.

You made the fatal mistake of glancing back and you were met with the image of jj nuzzling up to kiara in a picturesque display of love. The lump building at the base of your throat indicated that it was your time to get the hell out of there before you broke down in front of everyone. 

“Shit guys, y’know what I just realized I gotta go” You spoke quickly, your tone matching your pace as you rushed to the exit of the chateau. 

“You’re still coming to the party later though right?” John B asked, not tearing his eyes away from the screen in front of him. 

“Mhm yeah sure” you opened the door ready to depart. 

“Shit I forgot about that! Me and jj are gonna be late, we got dinner at the wreck tonight.” kiara added as you stepped out, unable to control the escape of a rogue tear.

“Date night babyyyy” You heard JJ cheer before you slammed the door behind you. 

“Is Y/N okay? She seemed a bit off.” Kie nudged JJ as she questioned. 

JJ furrowed his eyebrows momentarily. Glancing out the window, he saw you jog away from the house, and a brief flash of worry flashed through his mind. As quick as it came, it dissipated. He shook his head figuring that if there had been something wrong, he’d have been the first to know. 

“Nah she’s okay don't worry.” he offered to kie.

Boy was he mistaken. 

——————————————————————

“Fuuuck me” you moaned out, sinking into him one last time. You were hot, sweaty, and heaving as you pulled him out of you.

“I thought I just did” Rafe taunted leaning back to lie down, arms crossed behind his head causing his taut abdomen to flex.

You scrambled off the bed, picking up your garments and shoving them back on your body forcefully.

“What, no pillow talk?” He tried again.

“Rafe..” you trailed off. Whenever you’d finish fucking, you’d struggle to even look at him. The self-hatred flooded your body as soon as the orgasm poured out.

“Hey you called me” he eyed you intently but you knew he didn’t actually care. To rafe cameron everything was just a game. At this point it was pretty much common knowledge. “In fact” he moved closer to you so that he could speak directly into your ear “It’s always you that calls me.”

“Don’t be a dick” you stood up and eyed your heels contemplating whether you could face the walk back in them. “You know it makes me feel like shit.” It might have sounded brutal but that’s how things were with rafe.

“Yeah, it’s like you punctuate your orgasms with self-hate.”

“I'm a pogue, rafe.” You argued back as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“So? Kooks and pogues can fuck you know.” You couldn’t comprehend why you were even having this conversation. Why now, why tonight.

“Yeah maybe, not you though.” You didn’t want to tell him the reason explicitly.

“I fuck pogues.”

“You fuck anyone.” The words came out almost instantly and without thinking, yet rafe took no offense.

“Exactly so what’s the issue?”

“The issue is, rafe.” You paused trying to find the words without actually having to say the words. “The issue is that if my friends found out they’d hate me, probably more than I already hate myself.”

He just chuckled, the look in his eyes changing as he figured you out.

“What's funny?” You challenged.

“You don’t have to bullshit me princess.” He looked up at you with a devilish glint in his eye. “You just don’t want jj knowing about your little escapades huh?” Bingo.

“He’s with Kiara.” You shrugged him off.

“Uh huh, you like him but you can’t have him.” Every word he spoke striking a nerve deep within you. “So you’re fucking me to fuck him over.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You grabbed your heels and shoved them on, wincing as you buckled them up.

“Don’t I?” He threw his joggers on lazily as he stood, the level dynamics changing significantly. The older boy towered over you. “Where are they tonight?”

“Back at John B’s, we had a little get-together.” You crossed your arms. More often than not you usually called rafe after a few drinks left you feeling lonely. “Sorry, your invite must have gotten lost in the mail.” You attempted to jab at him with sarcasm yet he clearly held the upper hand with his line of questioning. 

“So all of them are there now?” He stepped towards you.

“Mhm,” You lied.

“Even jj?” Moving closer until your neck was craned upwards to meet his eyes.

Taking your silence as an answer, he reached up and ran his palms across your upper arms, prompting you to uncross them.

“He was uh- him and kie should be getting there soon” You mumbled.

“So would i be wrong in guessing, that might have prompted your call then?” You let yourself be guided by his movements leaning your neck further back as his hand trailed up to your jawbone.

“rafe…” you called out insignificantly.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against your neck, right over where he could feel your pulse, and pressed down.

You couldn’t help the gasp that left your mouth. Because as much as your heart belonged to jj, rafe was just so fucking good at raising your temperature.

“Round two?” He mumbled against your neck.

“Yeah..” you attempted yet it came out as a whisper. He grabbed you swiftly and lifted you, moving you across the room and throwing you down onto his bed, crawling on top of you in a predatory manner as he did so. As your back hit the bed, the ringing of your phone brought you back from the haze he had you under. 

“Wait rafe stop stop” you pushed him off and grabbed the screeching mobile, pressing it up to your ear. “Hello?”

“Dude, where are you?” The sound of jj’s voice came through over the pumping sound of music and party chatter. “Me and Kie just got back and John B says no one’s seen you for like over an hour.”

“Oh I’m uh, I had to go do something for my mom” The lie pouring out of your mouth caused rafe to chuckle which was of course met by a slap from you signaling for him to be quiet.

“Oh well, when are you getting back? I have to tell you about this date. You’re gonna be so proud of me I actually think I’m ready to tell Kie I love her” you screwed your eyes shut as he spoke.

“Yeah I- you know what I can’t make it back my mom needs me to stay and help out but uh I’ll see you tomorrow or something.” You hung up before he could even reply, throwing your phone down uncaring of its state.

“What’s wrong? They getting hitched?” Rafe spoke up from behind you.

You turned to Rafe, the fire in your veins pushing your arms to grab him, roughly pulling him back onto you.

“Just shut up and fuck me rafe.”

And fuck you he did.

——————————————————————

The next morning you woke up to the sight of rafe’s bare back. Not much of a cuddler, you figured.

Quietly you pushed the covers off and began to dress yourself back up. As you got to your shoes you sighed and shook your head, as if there was any way in hell you were going to walk home in heels. You scooped up your shoes and your now-cracked phone shaking your head, slightly ashamed at your outburst.

Without even a second glance at the sleeping body you were leaving behind, you made your way over to the door. As you turned the knob and stepped out to leave, a husky voice spoke up.

“I’ll keep my ringer on for you babe.”

You rolled your eyes looking back at him, “Fuck you rafe.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m counting on.” He didn’t even open his eyes as he answered, instead just rustling around in the bed and turning to the other side, once again facing his back to you.

You scoffed as you exited. Your internal rant clouded your vision, body on autopilot with an excellent self-navigation of the Cameron house from the countless times you’d made this exit.

“Y/N?” The gentle voice wiped your thoughts clean as the shock stilled you dead in your tracks, slowly turning to come face to face with none other than Sarah.

“Sarah” you drawled out. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s my house?” Her head was cocked to the side, equally shocked to see you.

“No I just mean- I thought you were spending the night at John B’s.” You forced the small talk, avoiding the topic of why you were here, sneaking out at 8 in the morning.

“He had to work today, did you spend the night here?” She glanced up at the door of rafe’s bedroom.

“Umm-“ There had only been two other instances where you had been at a complete loss for words. The day jj told you he and Kiara were dating, the morning after your first sexual encounter with rafe, and now this.

“Are you sleeping with my brother?!” She whisper-shouted, eyes wide as the realization hit her. Busted.

“No?”

“Oh my god!” She grabbed you by the wrist and dragged you to her room, slamming the door as soon as you were both inside. “How long has this been going on?!” Her tone was loud and her hands wild as she interrogated you.

“Just a little under a year.” You sat on her bed and looked at your lap as you spoke. Reminiscent of a child being scolded.

“A year?! Oh my god!” She repeated. “Who knows about this?!”

With that, you looked up at her desperately. “No one. No one knows so please don’t tell them.” You didn’t have to name names for her to know who you were referring to.

“Are you two like” she paused “together?” She scrunched her nose up, disgusted at the thought of her bully of an older brother dating anyone.

“No god no. It’s just sex” you were just as uncomfortable as Sarah was, having to tell her about boning her older brother.

“Disgusting.” She turned away from you with her arms crossed, looking out the window.

“Look I’m not proud of it okay? Just-“ You sighed “Just please don’t tell anyone” pleading again.

Sarah let out a long sigh and uncrossed her arms. She walked over to you and joined you on the bed, her eyes showing concern mixed with something you couldn’t quite place your finger on.

“I thought you were into jj” she spoke softly, there it was. Pity.

“Yeah well, jj is with kie and instead of sitting around wallowing in self-pity, I decided to do something about it.” As the words left your mouth, you realized how weak the explanation was.

“So you just use rafe to bang the jj out of you.”

“It’s not like Rafe cares, if anything he’s also using me.” You tried to reason.

“I don’t doubt that. But I mean, that’s- It’s not healthy, you’ll never move on if you don’t actually process your emotio-“

“Look Sarah, I don’t need to do any of that shit okay? What I have here works, when I fu- when I’m with rafe, I don’t think about jj.” Tears began to swell in your eyes “Sleeping with rafe helps me forget about everything, even if it’s only for a little while he uh- he makes me feel good.” To an extent, there was truth behind your words, while you and rafe fucked the rest of the world went away. It was only after, that the crippling self-hatred hit you along with the return of your immense feelings for jj. 

Sarah shuffled over and threw her arm around you. “That’s not good for you, it’s just momentary. It’s easy and it's a cycle, you’re never going to get better going down this path. Especially not with rafe.”

“Rafe he’s- he’s not that bad.”

“Yes he is. But i bet it gives you satisfaction fucking him knowing jj hates him. Feels like revenge right?” She’d always been so perceptive your Sarah, you hated how she could see right through you.

Tears ran down your cheek silently. “You’re not gonna tell anyone right?” You sniffled.

She gave you one of those classic salt-of-the-earth Sarah Cameron smiles, the kinda smile that would light up any room she walked into. “Takin' it to the grave babe.”

A loud beeping caused both your heads to whip towards the window. “Shit, I completely forgot I was supposed to go on the HMS with pope and jj, we were gonna chill there until John B and Kie finished work.” She rose to her feet and extended an arm towards you. “Wanna come? Or we could drop you home if you’re not up for it.”

With a sigh you took her hand and pulled yourself up, walking beside her as you mentally prepped yourself to face the blonde you desperately pined for.

“Well rise and shine campers.” jj yelled out of the window of the drivers seat.

“Y/N! Where you been dude? you totally bailed last night.” Pope was next to speak as you and Sarah filed into the Twinkie. As JJ began to drive you avoided any form of eye contact in his general direction.

“I had to go help my mom out, blackout at mine again.” You didn’t even look at pope either, instead focusing your attention on the blur of trees and houses pacing by the window as JJ sped down the winding roads.

“Isn’t that what you were wearing last night?” pope, observant as always, pointed out.

“Uh yeah, I didn’t really get any time to change cause…”

“I called her last night when I got home, I was so drunk I don’t think I was ready to stop the party.” Sarah covered for you.

“Yeah I wrapped up helping my mom out and then this one calls me talkin bout a sleepover or something so I didn’t exactly have much time to change.” 

Thankfully pope had lost interest as soon as he had asked the question, otherwise, your overcompensating ass would have been caught out straight away. You always had to add to the lie until you felt like you had sold it completely.

Keeping your eyes trained on the outside meant that jj’s frown directed at you through the windscreen mirror went completely undetected. He always knew whenever there was something up with you and right there and then he knew something definitely was.

“Hey, you okay?” He didn’t need to address you explicitly for you to know he was talking to you.

“Yeah just tired.” You shrugged him off in an attempt to distance yourself from him yet again.

He knew you were lying but he didn’t understand why, you never lied to each other. Apart from John B, the pair of you were closer to each other than with anybody else in the group. You’d been best friends since kindergarten, and since then you’d sworn 3 things to each other.

1- You’d always share your snacks.

2-You’d always be best friends even if you argued.

 3- You would never ever lie or keep secrets from each other.

Of course, as the both of you grew older the rules became more and more lax. The snack sharing was limited only to when you felt nice enough and sometimes you’d go for days without making up if you had argued particularly badly. Having kept two friendship-breaking secrets from him, the childhood rules seemed pretty insignificant by now.

“Mhm,” he responded, flickering his eyes between you and the road. “Are we taking you home to change first?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’ll join you guys afterward though.” You chewed down on your nail anxiously as the tension from being in the same space as jj paired with the guilt from having fucked rafe prior, suffocated you.

JJ made a face as he focused on the road, something was wrong with you and he’d be dammed if he wasn’t going to put his everything into finding out what that was.

[peavhyshy]

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ - BACK TO YOU

ᯓᡣ𐭩 paring ─ ୨୧ ─ jj maybank ⋆ ex!pogue!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 summary ─ ୨୧ ─ in which you return to the island after moving away and have to confront unresolved feelings and changes in the friend group.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 warnings ─ ୨୧ ─ explicit language, angst, hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, drama, mention of past self-harm, mention of past suicide attempt, mention of depression/mental health issues, alcohol abuse, unresolved emotional/romantic tension, trauma, mention of parental abuse/neglect, emotional cheating, jj is dating kiara, pretend luke didn’t leave, tw: surf competition, reconciliation, emotional vulnerability, unprotected vaginal sex, fingering, oral sex, dirty talk, praise, teasing, power play, and overstimulation (please dni if your sensitive to any of these topics your mental health should come first)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 wc ─ ୨୧ ─ 19,166

⋆˚✿˖° a/n ─ ୨୧ ─ this is long and very emotional/dramatic which is half of the reason it's been sitting in drafts forever. this was only written because I just love the song and wanted something based on it.

⋆.˚✮back to you✮˚.⋆

(༝༚༝༚ selena gomez)

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──. Outer Banks Masterlist ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Navigation ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

JJ stands awkwardly by the cooler, his fingers drumming against the metal surface as he watches you grab another case of beer. The setting sun casts long shadows across John B's backyard, painting everything in hues of orange and pink. The salty breeze carries the distant sound of waves crashing against the shore, mixing with the muffled laughter and music inside the house. He can't help but steal glances at you, memories of your past flooding his mind like an unwanted tide.

"So uh..." JJ clears his throat, adjusting his shark tooth necklace nervously. "How was... wherever the fuck you went?" He tries to maintain his usual carefree demeanor, but an edge to his voice betrays his discomfort. His blue eyes dart between you and the ground, unable to maintain steady eye contact. The weight of your unspoken history hangs heavy between you, thicker than the humid Carolina evening.

You stand awkwardly, your fingers nervously playing with the label of your beer bottle. You avoid JJ's gaze, focusing instead on the peeling paint of John B's deck railing. The tension between you two is suffocating, making the humid evening air feel even heavier. "Maine," you finally answer, your voice barely above a whisper. "We went to Maine."

JJ's jaw tightens at the mention of Maine, his fingers flexing around his beer bottle as he processes just how far away you’ve been. "Maine? Fuck, that's like... way up there with all those lobsters and shit," he says, trying to maintain his usual lighthearted tone but failing miserably. 

"You look..." He starts, then stops himself, shoving his free hand into the pocket of his board shorts. "I mean, it's good you're back and shit. The group missed you." He deliberately leaves out the fact that he missed you too, that your absence left a void that even Kiara couldn't quite fill. The tension between you is palpable, like the electricity in the air before a storm - something the Outer Banks knows all too well. He takes a long pull from his beer, using it as an excuse to break the uncomfortable silence that's settled between you.

You take a long sip from your bottle, using the moment to gather your thoughts. The sight of JJ - still as handsome as ever with his messy blonde hair and those blue eyes - makes your heartache in a way you thought you’d gotten over. The sound of Kiara's laughter from inside feels like a knife twisting in your gut. "I see you and Kie finally..." you trail off, unable to finish the sentence. Your skin glows in the porch light.

"Yeah, me and Kie..." he trails off, taking another long pull from his beer to avoid finishing the sentence. The truth is, things with Kiara are good - great even - but standing here with you brings back all the complicated feelings he'd tried to bury in the sand. 

"The group seems... good," you manage, trying to keep your voice steady. "Different, but good." You risk a glance at JJ, immediately regretting it when you catch his eyes. Those same eyes that used to look at you with such intensity, now belong to someone else. You shift your weight, your sundress rustling softly in the evening breeze. 

A loud crash from inside the house makes you both jump causing you to spill a bit of beer on your dress, followed by John B's distinctive "Everything's fine!" JJ lets out a forced laugh, but it doesn't reach his eyes. He's hyper-aware of every movement you make, every shift in your posture, every breath you take. The familiar scent of your perfume mixed with the salt air brings back memories he's tried so hard to suppress - stolen kisses behind the Wreck, late-night surfing sessions, promises made and broken. He adjusts his stance, trying to maintain a careful distance between you, even as every fiber of his being wants to close it.

"Shit," you mutter, dabbing at the spot with your free hand. You can feel JJ's presence just a few feet away, and it takes everything in you not to close that distance. "I should've called or something," you say suddenly, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. "Before I left, I mean. I just... I couldn't." Your voice cracks slightly on the last word, betraying the emotions you're trying so hard to keep in check.

The raw honesty in your voice, when you mention not calling, makes his throat tight. "Yeah, well..." JJ runs a hand through his hair again, his shark tooth necklace catching the light as he moves. "Probably wouldn't have answered anyway. Was pretty fucked up back then." He lets out a laugh, but there's pain behind it. "Still am, just better at hiding it now." The admission hangs between you like smoke, heavy and suffocating. He can hear Sarah and John B singing off-key inside, the sound a stark contrast to the tension-filled bubble you're standing in.

He watches as you dab at the beer stain on your dress, fighting the urge to help you like he would have before. "Fuck, hold up," he mutters, pulling off his worn t-shirt and offering it to you without thinking. The porch light illuminates the scattered bruises across his torso - some new, some old ones you’d recognize.

You stand there, your heart racing as you stare at JJ's shirtless form. You reach out hesitant to take his shirt, your fingers brushing briefly in a way that sends electricity through your entire body. "Thanks," you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. 

"You look good though," he finally says, the words escaping before he can stop them. His eyes meet yours for a moment before quickly looking away. "I mean, like, healthy and shit. That's... that's good." He shifts uncomfortably, very aware that he's still shirtless and that the space between you feels both too large and not large enough. The familiar scent of your perfume is making his head spin, or maybe it's the beer, or maybe it's just you - it's always been you. "Did it help?" he asks quietly, genuinely wanting to know. "Going away? Did it... fix things?" The question carries more weight than he intends, loaded with all the things he never got to say before you left.

The sound of Kiara's laughter drifts out again, and you flinches visibly. You take another long drink from your beer, needing the liquid courage. "It helped," you finally answer his question, unconsciously running your fingers over the faded scars on your wrists. "The doctors, the therapy, the distance... It helped. But it didn't fix everything." You look up at him then, really look at him, taking in how the years have changed him. He's still JJ - still beautiful but there's something harder in his eyes now, something that wasn't there before.

You clutch his shirt in your hands, the familiar scent of him - salt air, coconut surf wax, and something distinctly JJ - making you dizzy with memories. "I..." you start, then swallow hard. "I wanted to call. Every single day, I picked up my phone and stared at your number until the screen went black."

"I missed you," You confess quietly, immediately regretting the words as soon as they leave your mouth. "I mean, I missed everyone," you quickly add, but you both know it's not the same thing. You can feel the weight of everything unsaid between you, three years' worth of words you never got to say. "You look happy," you say, trying to smile even though it feels like your heart is breaking all over again. "With Kie, I mean. You guys... you make sense together." The lie tastes bitter on your tongue, but you force it out anyway. Because what else can you say? That seeing them together feels like drowning? That every time you close your eyes, you still see him? That Maine might have helped you heal your mind, but it did nothing to heal your heart? 

A burst of laughter from inside makes him jump, reminding him where you are and who's waiting for him. "Happy?" he scoffs, the word tasting like ash in his mouth. "Yeah, sure. I'm fucking peachy." His sarcasm is sharp enough to cut, a defense mechanism he's perfected over the years. He takes another long drink from his beer, finishing it in one go before setting it down with more force than necessary. "And don't do that shit about me and Kie making sense. You don't get to..." he stops himself again, running a hand over his face.

"Fuck, Y/N/N," JJ breathes out, using your old nickname without thinking. His fingers twitch at his sides, wanting to reach for you but knowing he can't. The sight of you touching your wrist scars makes his stomach turn - he remembers the day he found you, remembers the blood, remembers feeling more terrified than he'd ever been in his life.

"You can't just come back here and say shit like that," he says, his voice rough with emotion. He runs both hands through his hair in frustration, pacing a small circle on the deck. "You left, Y/N. You fucking left and I..." he trails off, the rest of the sentence dying in his throat. The memory of those first few weeks, after you disappeared, hits him like a physical blow - the drinking, the fights, the reckless behavior that even John B couldn't talk him down from.

"I didn't want to leave, JJ," You say, taking a step closer to him despite yourself. The electricity between you is almost tangible now. "You think I wanted to be shipped off to fucking Maine? To be locked up in some facility where they watched my every move? Where they made me talk about every fucking thing that was wrong with me?" Your voice rises slightly before you catch yourself, glancing nervously at the house. "I was drowning here, JJ. I was drowning and I couldn't..." 

"You know what? Fuck this," JJ says suddenly, his eyes blazing with a mix of anger and something else - something that looks dangerously close to the way he used to look at you. "You want to know what happened after you left? I fucking lost it, Y/N. I was so fucked up I couldn't even..." he cuts himself off, aware he's saying too much. The space between you feels charged with electricity, like the air before a storm. 

"But hey, at least the doctors fixed you up real nice, right?" The words are meant to sting, but there's a tremor in his voice that betrays him. He's still that same boy who used to sneak into your room at night, who used to hold you when the darkness got too heavy, who promised he'd always be there - until you made it impossible to keep that promise." His eyes intense as they lock onto yours. "I used to check your social media every fucking day. Every. Day. Just to make sure you were still..." he trails off, unable to finish the sentence. 

Your hands tremble as you clutch his shirt tighter, his familiar scent making your head spin. "Lost it?" You repeat, your voice cracking. "You think you were the only one who lost it?" The words come out sharper than intended, years of buried pain rising to the surface. Your skin flushes with anger and hurt, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. The bitterness in his voice when he mentions the doctors makes you flinch. "Fixed me up real nice?" You repeat, a hollow laugh escaping your lips. "Is that what you think? That I'm all better now? That I just went away and came back brand new?" You move closer still, close enough to see the flecks of darker blue in his eyes, close enough to smell the beer on his breath. "I still have nightmares. I still get days where I can barely get out of bed. The only difference is now I have better coping mechanisms than..." 

His confession about checking your social media makes your heart stutter in your chest. "I deactivated everything," you admit quietly, your voice thick with emotion. "Because every time I logged on, all I wanted to do was message you. Tell you I was sorry. Tell you I..." you stop yourself, very aware of how close you're standing now, of the fact that he's still shirtless, of Kiara just inside the house. "It doesn't matter now, does it?" You say, taking a step back, trying to create some distance between you even though every cell in your body screams to move closer. "You moved on. You're happy. That's... that's good." The lie tastes like poison on your tongue, but you force it out anyway, because what right do you have to come back here and disrupt his life? What right do you have to still want him this much?

JJ's body tenses as Pope's voice cuts through the charged atmosphere. "What’s taking so long with those beers? John B's about to start drinking mouthwash if we don't..." Pope trails off as he steps onto the deck, his eyes darting between JJ's shirtless form and you holding the said shirt. "Oh shit, my bad, I didn't..." he starts, but JJ cuts him off with a sharp laugh that sounds more like a bark.

"Nothing to be sorry for, Pope," JJ says, his voice carrying an edge that makes Pope raise his eyebrows. JJ snatches up the case of beer from the cooler, his movements jerky and aggressive. "Just catching up with our prodigal pogue here. Sharing war stories about her fancy fucking therapy in Maine." The words come out dripping with sarcasm, but there's a tremor in his hands as he grips the beer case. The porch light catches the tension in his jaw, the way his muscles are coiled tight like he's ready to either fight or flee.

"JJ," Pope says warningly, recognizing the signs of his friend spiraling. He's seen this before - usually right before JJ does something spectacularly stupid. "Maybe we should all just-" But JJ's already moving, shouldering past both of them towards the house. He pauses at the door, his back to you, his knuckles white around the beer case. "You know what the fucked up part is?" he says, not turning around. "I actually thought..." he stops, letting out a bitter laugh. "Doesn't matter what I thought. Welcome home, Y/N. Hope Maine was worth it."

Pope watches JJ disappear inside before turning to you with an apologetic look. "He was really messed up when you left," he says quietly, always the mediator. "Like, more than usual messed up. Started getting into fights with Topper almost daily, drinking more than his dad. Kiara was the only one who could calm him down sometimes." He runs a hand over his face, looking tired. "Look, I know it's not my place, but... maybe give him some time? He's better now, but seeing you again..." Pope glances at the door where you can hear JJ's forced laughter mixing with the others. "It's like reopening an old wound, you know?"

You stare at the door JJ just disappeared through, your heart feeling like it's being ripped apart all over again. His shirt is still clutched in your trembling hands, and you bring it unconsciously closer to your chest. You can feel tears threatening to spill over. "Time?" You repeat Pope's words with a hollow laugh. "Yeah, because three years wasn't enough time, right?" Your voice cracks on the last word, and you have to take a deep breath to steady yourself.

"In Maine, they made us write letters. Letters to everyone we hurt, everyone who hurt us. I wrote so many letters to JJ that they had to give me extra paper." You let out a shaky breath, running your fingers over the soft fabric of JJ's shirt. "Never sent a single one. How do you put three years of 'I'm sorry' and 'I miss you' and 'I still...' into words that don't sound completely fucking pathetic?"

The sound of breaking glass comes from inside, followed by Kiara's concerned "JJ?" Pope closes his eyes and sighs. "And there it is. I better..." he gestures towards the house. "You coming?" The question hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of everything that's just transpired.

The sound of Kiara's concerned voice calling for JJ makes your stomach twist painfully. "You should go check on him," you say to Pope, finally looking up. Your eyes are swimming with unshed tears, but you refuse to let them fall. "I'll... I'll be in in a minute. Just need to..." You gesture vaguely at yourself, trying to pull together the pieces of your composure that JJ's words had shattered. "And Pope?" You call as he turns to leave. "I know everyone probably hates me for leaving. Hell, I hate myself for it. But I didn't have a choice. It was either leave or..." 

You can hear more commotion from inside - JJ's voice raised, something else breaking, Kiara trying to calm him down. The sound makes your chest ache in a way that feels physical. "Fuck," you whisper to yourself, looking down at JJ's shirt still in your hands. You bring it to your face, inhaling his scent one last time before forcing yourself to fold it neatly. You’ll have to give it back eventually, but right now, you need a moment to remember how to breathe without feeling like you’re drowning all over again. The irony isn't lost on you - you left the Outer Banks to stop feeling like you were drowning, only to come back and find yourself deeper underwater than ever before.

The tension in living room is thick enough to cut with a knife as you enter. JJ is sprawled on the couch next to Kiara, his arm draped possessively around her shoulders while nursing what appears to be his fifth beer. There's broken glass by the kitchen counter that Sarah's carefully sweeping up, shooting concerned glances at everyone.

"So this competition tomorrow," John B says too loudly, clearly trying to diffuse the tension. "Heard Topper's entering too." He's sitting cross-legged on the floor, picking at the label of his beer bottle. "Gonna be some sick waves though, bro. Weather report's saying six-footers at least."

JJ snorts, his blue eyes deliberately avoiding your direction. "Yeah, well, Topper can suck my-" Kiara elbows him in the ribs, cutting him off. "What? I'm just saying the trust fund baby probably can't even tell the difference between the nose and tail of his board." His words are slightly slurred, with anger and alcohol making his voice thicker.

"Actually," Sarah pipes up from the kitchen, dumping the broken glass in the trash, "I heard he's been practicing a lot." She settles onto the arm of John B's chair, her blonde hair catching the dim light. "Something about wanting to prove himself or whatever."

Pope shifts slightly as you sit next to him, creating a protective barrier between you and JJ. "You still surf, Y/N?" he asks, trying to include you in the conversation. "Remember that time you totally schooled JJ on that left break by the pier?"

"Fuck off, Pope," JJ snaps, his grip tightening on his beer bottle. "That was one time, and I was hungover as shit." Kiara places a calming hand on his thigh, but he shrugs it off, standing up abruptly. "I need another beer."

"Maybe you should slow down," Kiara suggests gently, reaching for his hand. "The competition's early tomorrow and-"

"I said I need another fucking beer," JJ cuts her off, his voice sharp. He stalks toward the kitchen, purposely taking the long way around to avoid passing near you. "And for the record," he adds, pausing in the doorway, "that left break? I let her win. Figured she needed the ego boost since she was so fucking fragile back then." The words are meant to wound, and from the way you tense beside him, Pope can tell they hit their mark.

John B stands up, running a hand through his hair. "JJ, bro, come on-"

"What?" JJ whirls around, his eyes blazing. "We all just gonna pretend like everything's normal? Like she didn't just fuck off for three years and come waltzing back expecting everything to be the same?" He lets out a bitter laugh. "Nah, I'm good. You guys can play happy fucking family without me."

The room falls into a heavy silence after JJ's outburst. Sarah is the first to speak, her voice gentle but firm. "JJ, that's enough." She moves from her perch on John B's chair, positioning herself between JJ and the rest of the group.

Your hands are shaking as you stand up, your voice quiet but steady. "You want to do this now? Fine." You take a step forward, ignoring Pope's attempt to grab your arm. "You think you're the only one who was hurt? You think you're the only one who was fucked up?" Your voice rises slightly, years of pent-up emotion breaking through. "I didn't just 'fuck off' to Maine for fun, JJ. I went because the alternative was being lowered into the ground in a fucking coffin!"

Kiara stands up too, torn between her boyfriend and her old friend. "Y/N, maybe we should-"

"No, Kie," you cut her off, your eyes locked on JJ. "He wants to talk about being fragile? About letting me win? At least I'm trying to get better. What are you doing, JJ? Getting drunk and picking fights? Real fucking healthy."

John B moves to intervene, but Pope holds him back, shaking his head. This has been brewing since the moment you walked through the door.

"You know what the difference is between us?" You continue, your voice cracking. "I admit I'm broken. I went and got help because I was tired of hurting everyone around me. But you?" You let out a hollow laugh. "You're still that same scared little boy, hiding behind your anger and your booze because god forbid anyone see that you're hurting too. You’re acting just like your daddy.” 

The moment the words leave your mouth, the room erupts into chaos. JJ's beer bottle shatters in his hand as he lunges forward. "Don't you fucking DARE!" as John B and Pope rush to grab him. His muscles strain against their hold. "You don't get to say that shit! You don't get to fucking compare me to him!"

"JJ, stop!" Kiara shouts, but he's beyond hearing. His blue eyes are wild, unfocused, filled with a pain so deep it makes everyone in the room flinch. "You want to talk about being broken?" JJ spits, still fighting against John B and Pope's restraining arms. "At least I didn't run away! At least I stayed and faced my shit instead of leaving everyone wondering if you were even fucking alive!" His voice cracks on the last word, raw emotion bleeding through the anger. "Do you know how many times I drove by your house? How many nights I sat outside your window hoping you'd just... fuck!" 

 "Where the fuck was all this concern for mental health when I was showing up at your window covered in bruises? When I was sleeping on the beach because I was too scared to go home?" Blood continues to drip from his hand, creating a small puddle on the floor.

"You know what's really fucking funny?" JJ continues, his voice cracking. "The day you left? I was gonna tell you everything. About my dad, about how fucked up I was, about how you were the only person who made me feel like maybe I wasn't completely worthless." His words are like bullets, each one aimed to hit where it hurts most.

"Bro, calm down," John B grunts, struggling to maintain his grip. "This isn't helping-"

"Helping?" JJ lets out a laugh that sounds more like a sob. "Nothing helps! Nothing fucking helps because she LEFT!" He finally breaks free, stumbling forward but not advancing towards you. Instead, he stands there, chest heaving, looking more vulnerable than any of them has ever seen him. "You left," he repeats, quieter now, his voice thick with unshed tears. "You left and I couldn't... I couldn't fucking breathe. And now you're back and I still can't breathe and I..." He runs his hands through his hair violently, turning away from everyone.

Pope steps forward cautiously. "JJ, maybe we should-"

"Don't," JJ cuts him off, his voice dangerous again. "Just... don't." He grabs his keys from the counter, ignoring Kiara's protests. "I need to get the fuck out of here before I..." He doesn't finish the sentence, just storms out, the screen door slamming behind him. The sound of his motorcycle roaring to life fills the night air moments later.

The room falls into a heavy silence after JJ's dramatic exit. You stand frozen, your whole body trembling as tears finally spill down your cheeks. Sarah is the first to move, wrapping her arms around you as you begin to sob.

"I didn't mean..." you choke out between sobs. "I didn't mean to say that about his dad. I just... I was so angry and..." You collapse onto the couch, Sarah still holding you while Kiara paces anxiously by the door.

"Someone needs to go after him," Kiara says, grabbing her jacket. "He's drunk and upset, he shouldn't be on that bike." She looks torn between staying with you and chasing after her boyfriend.

John B runs a hand through his hair, exchanging worried looks with Pope. "I'll go," he says, grabbing his keys. "Pope, you stay here with them. Sarah, can you...?" He gestures at you, who's still crying into Sarah's shoulder.

"I got her," Sarah assures him. "Just... bring him back in one piece, okay?"

Pope starts cleaning up the broken glass, his movements careful and methodical. "You know," he says quietly, "JJ never told anyone this, but he used to sleep in your treehouse after you left. We'd find him up there some mornings, usually after really bad nights with his dad."

"He kept your bracelet too," Kiara adds softly, still hovering by the door. "The one you made him at that bonfire. Wears it under his watch sometimes." She pauses, conflict clear on her face. "I should go with John B-"

"No," you say, wiping your eyes. "Stay. Please. I... I need to tell you all something. About why I really left." You take a shaky breath, looking around at your friends - the family you left behind. "It wasn't just the self-harm or the suicide attempt. There was... there was more. And JJ... he deserves to know the truth. You all do."

Sarah squeezes your hand encouragingly while Pope settles on the floor in front of you. The sound of the Twinkie starting up outside fills the momentary silence.

"Take your time," Sarah says gently. "We're listening." 

John B finds JJ at their usual spot - the abandoned dock near the marsh where they used to fish as kids. JJ's sitting at the edge, legs dangling over the water, a fresh beer in his hand that he definitely grabbed from his emergency stash hidden in the old boat nearby. His motorcycle is parked haphazardly in the grass, still ticking as it cools down.

"Figured I'd find you here," John B says, settling down next to his best friend. The moonlight reflects off the water, casting everything in a silvery glow. "That was quite a show back there, bro."

JJ takes a long pull from his beer, his knuckles still bloody from the broken bottle. "Fuck off, John B," he mutters, but there's no real heat behind it. His hands are shaking slightly as he brings the bottle back to his lips. "I don't need another fucking lecture about controlling my temper or whatever shit you're about to say."

"Actually," John B says, pulling out two fresh beers from his pocket and handing one to JJ, "I was gonna say she had no right bringing up your dad." He cracks open his beer, the sound echoing across the quiet marsh. "That was fucked up."

JJ lets out a hollow laugh, running his uninjured hand through his messy hair. "You know what's fucked up? She's right." His voice cracks slightly. "I am turning into him. Getting drunk, breaking shit, can't control my fucking temper..." He throws his empty bottle into the water with force, watching it disappear beneath the dark surface.

"Nah, man," John B shakes his head firmly. "You're nothing like Luke. You know how I know?" He waits until JJ looks at him. "Because you care. Like, actually give a shit about people. Luke never did." He pauses, choosing his next words carefully. "And you loved her. Still do, probably."

"Doesn't fucking matter now, does it?" JJ's voice is rough with emotion. "I'm with Kie. And Y/N... she's..." he trails off, unable to finish the sentence. The crickets chirp in the silence that follows, the marsh grass swaying in the gentle breeze.

"You know," John B says after a while, "Kie knows. Has known for a while, I think. About how you feel about Y/N." He takes another sip of his beer. "Maybe that's why she's been so... I don't know, different lately?"

JJ's head snaps up, his blue eyes wide in the moonlight. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Come on, bro," John B sighs. "You've been wearing that bracelet under your watch since the day Y/N left. You sleep in her old treehouse when shit gets bad. And the way you looked at her tonight... that wasn't just anger, man."

JJ stares out at the dark water, his jaw working as he processes John B's words. "It's not..." he starts, then stops, taking a long drink. "Fuck, man." The moonlight catches the silver threads in his shark tooth necklace as he shifts uncomfortably. "You can't just say shit like that about me and Kie."

"Why not?" John B presses, watching his best friend carefully. "Because it's true? Because you've been trying so hard to convince yourself that what you have with Kie is enough?" He dodges the empty beer can JJ throws at his head with practiced ease. "I love Kie, man. We all do. But she deserves better than being someone's second choice."

"You think I don't know that?" JJ explodes, jumping to his feet. He paces the dock, his shoes making the old wood creak. "You think I don't fucking hate myself for it? For not being able to..." he trails off, running both hands through his hair in frustration. "Y/N left, John B. She fucking left without a word and Kie... Kie was there. She picked up the pieces. She..."

"She's not Y/N," John B finishes quietly. The words hang in the humid night air, heavy with truth. "And that's not fair to any of you."

JJ stops pacing, bracing himself against one of the dock posts. His knuckles are white where they grip the wood, blood from his earlier injury leaving dark smears. "You should've seen her that night," he says so quietly John B almost misses it. "The night before she left. She came to my window like she always did when shit got bad. But something was different. She wouldn't look at me, wouldn't let me touch her. Just kept saying she was sorry." His voice cracks. "I should've known. Should've fucking done something."

"JJ..." John B starts, but JJ cuts him off.

"And now she's back," he continues, his voice rough. "She's back and she's wearing that fucking perfume that makes my head spin, and she's got these new scars I don't know the stories too, and she's looking at me like... like..." He slams his fist into the post, adding fresh splinters to his already injured hand. "Like I'm still that stupid kid who couldn't save her. How I didn't see how bad it was getting. How I was so caught up in my shit with my dad that I missed all the signs." He runs his hands through his hair roughly. "And you know what the worst part is? Even after everything, even with Kie... I still..." He can't finish the sentence, but he doesn't need to.

The marsh is quiet except for the gentle lapping of water against the dock and the distant sound of a boat horn. John B watches as his best friend falls apart, knowing there's nothing he can say to make this better. "Maybe," he finally suggests, "you should talk to Kie. Like, really talk to her. And then..." he hesitates. "Maybe you should talk to Y/N too. About everything."

JJ lets out a bitter laugh. "Yeah? And say what? 'Sorry, I just had a fucking meltdown in front of everyone because seeing you still makes me feel like I'm drowning'? 'Sorry, I'm such a fuck up I couldn't even move on properly'?" He slides down to sit on the dock again, his energy seemingly drained. "Nah, man. Some things are better left buried."

The two make their way to the van it rumbles down the dark road, headlights cutting through the night as John B glances worriedly at JJ in the passenger seat. JJ is slumped against the window, his breath fogging up the glass, the streetlights casting intermittent shadows across his face. His bloody knuckles rest in his lap, the makeshift bandage John B made from his t-shirt already soaking through.

"Your dad's been better lately, right?" John B asks cautiously, turning onto JJ's street. "Like, with the new job and everything?" He knows these periods of calm with Luke are temporary, like the eye of a hurricane - peaceful until it's not.

JJ lets out a laugh, his eyes still fixed on the passing shadows outside. "Yeah, for now. Give it a week, maybe two if we're lucky." His voice is tired, drained of its usual energy. "He's actually buying groceries instead of beer. Fucking miracle, right?" The sarcasm in his voice is thick enough to cut.

As they pull up to JJ's house, they can see Luke's truck in the driveway, the porch light on - a rare sight. Through the window, they can see him moving around in the kitchen, looking almost normal, almost like a real father. "You sure you don't want to crash at my place?" John B offers, killing the engine. "Sarah won't mind, and you know Pope's probably got Y/N calmed down by now..."

"Don't," JJ warns, his voice sharp. "Just... don't say her name right now, okay?" He runs his uninjured hand through his hair, a nervous habit that's become more frequent since your return. "I can't... I can't think about that shit right now. About what she said, about Kie, about..." he trails off, shaking his head.

The front door opens, and Luke steps onto the porch. "JJ? That you, son?" His voice carries across the yard, lacking its usual angry slur. "Got some leftovers if you're hungry. Made that fish you like." The attempt at normalcy is almost more unsettling than his usual violence.

"Fuck," JJ mutters, unbuckling his seatbelt. "Look at him, playing father of the year." He grabs his backpack from the backseat, wincing as the movement jars his injured hand. "Thanks for the ride, bro. And for..." he gestures vaguely, encompassing everything that happened at the dock.

"JJ," John B calls as his friend opens the door. "Just... be careful, okay? And if shit goes south..." He doesn't need to finish the sentence. They both know JJ's always got a place at the Chateau.

"Yeah, yeah," JJ forces a grin that doesn't reach his eyes. "Save the emotional shit for Sarah, man." He slams the van door, shouldering his backpack as he heads toward the house. Each step feels heavy like he's walking through water. The weight of everything - your return, his relationship with Kiara, his dad's temporary stability - sits on his shoulders like a physical burden.

Luke's waiting at the door, and for once, his eyes are clear. "Rough night?" he asks, noticing JJ's bandaged hand. There's genuine concern in his voice, the kind that makes JJ's chest ache because he knows it won't last.

He follows his father into the house, the familiar scent of fried fish and something else - hope, maybe? - filling the air. The kitchen is cleaner than he's seen it in years, dishes are actually washed and put away, no empty bottles littering the counters. It's like walking into a funhouse mirror version of his life, everything familiar but slightly wrong.

"Sit," Luke gestures to the table, already moving to reheat the food. "Got paid today. Foreman says I'm doing good work." There's pride in his voice, the kind JJ used to dream of hearing when he was younger. "Even got you something." He pulls out a small package from one of the kitchen drawers, sliding it across the table.

JJ stares at the package like it might bite him, his injured hand throbbing in rhythm with his heartbeat. "Dad, you didn't have to..." he starts, but Luke waves him off.

"Open it," Luke insists, putting a plate of steaming fish and rice in front of JJ. "Saw it at the store, thought of you." His voice is gruff with emotion he doesn't know how to express.

With trembling fingers, JJ unwraps the package. Inside is a new surf wax and a professional-grade fishing lure - the expensive kind they used to admire together in the shop window when JJ was little. "This is..." he swallows hard, something thick and painful lodging in his throat.

"For the competition tomorrow," Luke explains, sitting down across from him with his own plate. "Figured you could use some good gear." He pauses, studying JJ's face. "Your hand gonna be okay to surf?"

JJ flexes his fingers experimentally, wincing. "Yeah, it's fine. Just some scratches." He doesn't mention how he got them, and Luke doesn't ask. Some things are better left unsaid, even in this temporary peace.

They eat in relative silence, the only sounds are the scrape of forks against plates and the distant hum of crickets outside. JJ can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop, for his father to notice the alcohol on his breath, or ask why he came home so late. But Luke just keeps eating, occasionally glancing at JJ with something that looks almost like concern.

"Y/N’s back," Luke says suddenly, making JJ choke on his rice. "Saw her at the store today. She's grown up nice." He says it casually, like he doesn't know the weight those words carry like he doesn't remember the nights JJ came home drunk and broken after you left.

JJ's grip on his fork tightens, his knuckles white. "Dad..." he warns, but Luke continues.

"You know, I never told you this," Luke sets down his fork, his voice unusually serious. "But that girl... she used to come by sometimes when you were out. Would bring groceries, say she was just dropping off extras her mom bought." He lets out a dry laugh. "We both knew she was lying. She was checking on you, making sure I hadn't..." he trails off, shame coloring his voice.

The revelation hits JJ like a physical blow. He pushes back from the table, his chair scraping loudly against the floor. "I can't... I can't do this right now," he manages to say, his voice rough. "Thanks for dinner. And the..." he gestures at the gifts, unable to finish.

Luke nods, understanding in his eyes that hurts worse than any punch he's ever thrown. "Get some rest, son. Big day tomorrow." He watches as JJ practically flees to his room, the sound of his door closing echoing through the unusually quiet house.

In his room, JJ collapses onto his bed. The surf wax and lure sit on his nightstand, mocking him with their newness, their promise of a father he's always wanted but never quite had. He pulls out his phone, seeing missed calls from Kiara and texts from the group chat. But it's his wallpaper that catches his eye - still that old photo of him and you at the beach, your smile bright and real, his arm around your shoulders. He'd never changed it, not even after starting things with Kiara.

"Fuck," he whispers into the darkness, throwing his arm over his eyes. Tomorrow's competition suddenly seems like the least of his problems.

JJ is hunched over his surfboard on the front porch, a half-eaten piece of toast dangling from his mouth as he meticulously applies the new wax his father gave him. The morning sun casts long shadows across the worn wood of the porch, the air already thick with humidity. His injured hand throbs as he works, the makeshift bandage John B wrapped it in last night now stained and fraying.

The knock makes him jump, nearly dropping the wax block. "It's open!" he calls out, not looking up from his work. He knows it's Kiara before she even speaks - recognizes the pattern of her footsteps, the jingle of the shell anklet she always wears.

"Hey," Kiara's voice is soft and cautious. She's wearing her competition bikini under a loose tank top, her curly hair pulled back in a messy bun. "You weren't answering your phone." She settles down next to him on the porch steps, close but not touching - a careful distance that speaks volumes.

JJ continues working on his board, his movements perhaps more aggressive than necessary. "Yeah, well, been kind of busy." He gestures at the board with his injured hand, causing Kiara to suck in a sharp breath at the sight of his knuckles.

"Jesus, JJ," she reaches for his hand but he pulls away, standing up abruptly. "We need to talk about last night-"

"No," JJ cuts her off, running his good hand through his already messy hair. "We really don't. I fucked up, lost my temper, same old shit. Can we just..." he trails off, finally looking at her. The concern in her eyes makes his stomach twist with guilt.

Kiara stands too, crossing her arms. "Y/N told us everything last night," she says quietly. "After you left. About why she really went away." She watches as JJ's entire body tenses, his jaw clenching. "JJ, it wasn't just about the self-harm and the attempt. She was-"

"Stop," JJ's voice is sharp, dangerous. He turns away from her, gripping the porch railing so hard his knuckles turn white. "I don't want to know. I can't... I can't hear that shit right now. Not before the competition."

"You can't keep running from this," Kiara says, her voice stronger now. "And you can't keep pretending that what we have is..." she stops, taking a deep breath. "I see the way you look at her, JJ. I've always seen it. Even when you're angry at her, even when you're with me, you look at her like... like she's the sun and you're drowning in her light."

JJ lets out a bitter laugh, turning back to face her. "That's some poetic shit, Kie." But there's no humor in his voice, just pain and exhaustion. "What do you want me to say? That I'm sorry? That I'm a fucking mess who can't get his shit together? That I-"

"I want you to be honest," Kiara interrupts. "With me, with yourself, with her." She steps closer, reaching up to touch his face gently. "We both knew this wasn't forever, JJ. We were just... holding each other together until something better came along."

"You deserve better than that," JJ says quietly, leaning into her touch despite himself. "Better than me using you as a bandaid for my fucked up heart."

Kiara smiles sadly. "Yeah, I do. And so do you." She drops her hand, stepping back. "The competition starts soon. Y/N’s entering too, by the way. JJ? She still wears that shell necklace you made her. Never took it off, even in Maine."

The information hits JJ like a physical blow, making him grip the railing tighter. The surf wax sits abandoned on his board, the morning sun turning it soft and sticky. JJ sighs heavily, sliding down to sit on the porch steps. The morning sun continues to rise, casting long shadows across the yard where weeds push through cracked concrete - a perfect metaphor for their relationship, beautiful things growing in broken places.

"You're not mad?" JJ asks finally, his voice rough. He picks at the fraying bandage on his hand, avoiding her eyes. "About... everything?"

Kiara lets out a soft laugh sitting back down next to him bumping his shoulder with hers. "I mean, I probably should be. But honestly?" She tilts her face toward the sun, closing her eyes. "I think I've known since the beginning. We were both just... trying to fill empty spaces."

JJ runs his good hand through his hair, a nervous habit he can't shake. "You're too good for this shit, Kie. Too good for me and my fucked up baggage." He glances at her sideways. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," Kiara says simply. "And hey, at least we had some good times, right?" She grins at him, that familiar sparkle in her eyes. "Like that time we got caught skinny dipping at the country club pool?"

"Fuck," JJ laughs despite himself, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "Your dad's face when he found us... thought he was gonna have a stroke." The memory feels lighter now, less weighted with guilt.

They sit in comfortable silence for a moment. Finally, Kiara speaks again, her voice gentle but firm. "You need to talk to her, JJ. Like, really talk to her. No yelling, no running away."

JJ's jaw tightens. "Kie..."

"No, listen," she cuts him off. "What she told us last night... it changes things. And you deserve to know." She stands up, brushing off her shorts. "But first, you need to kick Topper's ass in this competition. Show him that pogues rule the waves, right?"

JJ looks up at her, gratitude and affection washing over him. "How are you so fucking cool about all this?"

Kiara shrugs, a small smile playing on her lips. "Because I love you both, you idiot. Just... not in the way we've been pretending." She starts walking backward toward her car. "See you at the beach. And JJ?" She pauses. "Whatever Y/N told us last night? It's not my story to tell. But when she does tell you... just remember she never stopped loving you either."

JJ watches her drive away, his heart feeling both lighter and heavier at the same time. He turns back to his surfboard, running his fingers over the fresh wax. The competition starts soon, and somewhere on that beach, you’ll be there. The thought makes his stomach flip in a way that has nothing to do with pre-competition nerves.

The beach is alive with pre-competition energy, the morning sun casting long shadows across the sand as spectators and competitors mill about. The group has claimed your usual spot, a patch of sand near the judges' stand where you're spread out with blankets and coolers. The air smells of salt spray and sunscreen, mixed with the distant scent of food vendors setting up their stalls.

JJ sits cross-legged next to Pope, obsessively checking the fins on his board while stealing glances at you. His injured hand is wrapped in fresh bandages - Pope's handiwork from earlier that morning. "You think the swell's gonna hold?" he asks Pope, his voice tighter than usual. "Weather report said it might pick up around noon."

"Dude, stop stressing," Pope replies, not looking up from his phone where he's tracking the wind patterns. "You could surf these waves in your sleep." He pauses, glancing at his friend. "Though maybe focus more on the waves and less on staring at Y/N every five seconds?"

A few feet away, Kiara and you sit huddled over your board, your heads close together as you work on the design. "Pass me the blue paint?" Kiara asks, her voice carefully casual. "I think it'll pop against the white."

"Here," You hand over the paint pen, your finger steady as you work on your own section of the board. "Thanks for helping me with this, Kie. I know it's... weird."

Sarah's voice carries over from where she's practically sitting in John B's lap, her laugh bright in the morning air. "John B, I swear to God, if you get any more sunscreen in my hair..." She squirms as he deliberately rubs more lotion on her neck.

"What? I'm being helpful!" John B protests, grinning. "Can't have my girl turning into a lobster." He catches JJ's eye and makes an exaggerated kissing face, earning himself a handful of sand thrown his way.

"Get a room, you two," Pope groans, but there's affection in his voice. "Some of us are trying to focus here."

"Yeah, focus on what?" JJ snaps, more harshly than intended. "The competition doesn't start for another hour." His eyes drift back to you, watching as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear - a gesture so familiar it makes his chest ache.

"Speaking of the competition," Sarah pipes up, clearly trying to diffuse the tension, "heard Topper's been practicing his aerial moves. Might actually give you a run for your money this time, JJ."

"Please," JJ scoffs, his trademark cockiness returning. "Trust fund baby probably had to pay someone to teach him which end of the board goes in front." But his bravado falters when he catches you hiding a smile at his comment.

"The waves are looking good though," you offer quietly, your first direct contribution to the group conversation. "Nice clean sets coming in." Your voice carries over the beach noise, making JJ's hands still on his board.

The group falls into a loaded silence, everyone pretending not to notice the way JJ and you carefully avoid looking at each other, or how Kiara's shoulders relax slightly when JJ doesn't snap back with a sarcastic comment.

"Alright, enough of this weird energy," Pope announces, standing up and brushing sand off his shorts. "Who wants to help me get drinks from the vendor? We've got..." he checks his watch, "forty-five minutes to get JJ properly hydrated before he has to show these kooks how it's done."

"Let me help," Sarah jumps up, linking her arm through Pope's. "John B, Y/N, you coming?" There's a pointed look in her eyes that everyone pretends not to notice.

"I'm good," You reply, still focused on your board design. "Need to finish this before the competition starts." Your fingers trace the intricate pattern you and Kiara have created - waves and stars intertwining across the white surface.

"Me too," John B replies, stretching out on their blanket. "Someone's gotta make sure these two don't kill each other." He gestures vaguely between JJ and you, earning himself a glare from both of you.

Kiara looks up from the surfboard, her hands covered in paint. "Get me one of those açai bowls if they have them?" she calls after Pope and Sarah. "And maybe some water for everyone? It's getting hot out here."

As Pope and Sarah head toward the vendors, the remaining group falls into an awkward silence. JJ continues fidgeting with his board, though there's nothing left to adjust. The morning sun beats down on you, the humidity making everything feel sticky and tense. The beach is getting more crowded now, the excitement building as more competitors arrive with their boards.

"Your hand looks better," You say suddenly, your voice soft but carrying clearly over the beach noise. You're still focused on your board, not looking up, but your fingers have stilled on the paint pen.

JJ flexes his injured hand unconsciously. "Yeah, well, Pope's got practice wrapping shit up. Comes with being friends with a walking disaster." He tries for his usual sarcastic tone but it falls flat.

"Remember that time you tried to do a backflip off the pier?" John B interjects, clearly trying to ease the tension. "Pope had to use an entire first aid kit on your stupid ass."

"That was one time," JJ protests, a genuine smile finally cracking through his facade. "And I totally would've landed it if that jellyfish hadn't been in the way."

"There was no jellyfish," Kiara laughs, rolling her eyes. "You just chickened out halfway through."

"I did not!" JJ's voice rises indignantly. "Tell them, Y/N/N, you were there-" He cuts himself off abruptly, realizing he'd used your old nickname without thinking.

The silence that follows is deafening, broken only by the distant sound of waves and other competitors warming up. Your hand has started trembling slightly, though you try to hide it by gripping the paint pen tighter.

"There definitely wasn't a jellyfish," you finally say, your voice barely above a whisper. "But there was that group of tourist girls watching, and you were trying to show off..."

"Classic JJ," John B jumps in, trying to keep the conversation flowing. "Always trying to impress the ladies with his 'sick moves.'" He makes air quotes with his fingers.

The moment breaks when someone calls out "Maybank!" from down the beach. It's one of the competition organizers, clipboard in hand. "You're up in heat three, twenty minutes!"

"Shit," JJ mutters, standing up and grabbing his board. "I should probably warm up or whatever." He pauses, looking down at your board. "The design's good," he says quietly, before quickly adding, "Both of you. It's... yeah." He turns and jogs toward the water, his board under his arm.

"Well, that was almost a normal conversation," John B observes, earning himself an elbow in the ribs from Kiara. "What? I'm just saying..."

"I should warm up too," You say suddenly, standing and picking up your board. The morning sun catches the shell necklace around your neck - the one JJ made you years ago - making it gleam.

"Want company?" Kiara offers, but you shake your head.

"I need to..." you gesture vaguely toward the opposite end of the beach from where JJ went. "You know."

They watch as you walk away, your hair blowing in the ocean breeze. John B wraps an arm around Kiara's shoulders. "They'll figure it out," he says confidently. "They always do."

"Yeah," Kiara agrees, leaning into him. "But how many hearts are gonna get broken in the process?"

The question hangs in the air as they watch you two paddle out into the waves from opposite ends of the beach, like magnets simultaneously attracting and repelling each other. The waves crash against the shore as the competition gets underway, the beach packed with spectators cheering from the sand. The morning sun glints off the water, creating perfect conditions for the surfers waiting in the lineup. JJ sits on his board, straddling it as he watches the sets roll in, his injured hand gripping the rails slightly tighter than necessary. He's in heat three, along with you and Kiara, a cruel twist of fate that has his stomach in knots.

From the beach, John B's voice carries over the crowd. "Let's go, JJ! Show these kooks how it's done!" Sarah and Pope join in with their cheers, their enthusiasm infectious enough to draw smiles from other spectators.

JJ catches sight of you about twenty yards to his left, the shell necklace he made you glints in the sun. You're focused on the horizon, reading the waves with an intensity he remembers well from your late-night surfing sessions years ago. Kiara floats between you two, creating a triangle formation in the water, her presence both a buffer and a reminder of everything that's changed.

"First wave of heat three!" the announcer's voice booms over the speakers. "Riders, get ready!"

A set approaches and JJ feels the familiar surge of adrenaline. He watches as you turn your board, positioning yourself for the wave. Your form is different now - more refined, more confident. You catch the wave with practiced ease, your movement fluid as you drop in. The crowd cheers as you execute a perfect bottom turn, spraying water in an arc that catches the sunlight.

"Fuck," JJ mutters under his breath, both impressed and frustrated. He spots his own wave approaching, bigger than yours, and paddles hard. As he pops up, everything else fades away - the crowd, the competition, the complicated mess of emotions. It's just him and the wave, the way it's always been. He drives hard off the bottom, launching into an aerial that has the crowd screaming. His injured hand protests as he grabs his rail, but he sticks the landing, finishing with a powerful snap off the lip.

Kiara catches the next wave, her style more aggressive than yours but equally skilled. She shoots JJ a quick smile as she paddles back out, no trace of their earlier conversation in her expression. You're all competitors now, regardless of your personal drama.

The heat continues, each rider pushing themselves harder with each wave. JJ finds himself watching you more than he should, noticing how you’ve incorporated new techniques into your surfing. There's a grace to your movements that wasn't there before, a confidence that makes his chest tight with something between pride and regret.

From the beach, Pope's voice cuts through the crowd noise: "Time check! Two minutes left in the heat!"

JJ sits up straighter on his board, scanning for one last good wave. He needs something big to secure his spot in the finals. A set approaches, and he can see both you and Kiara eyeing it too. It's the kind of wave you used to fight over during your dawn patrol sessions - clean, powerful, perfect for showing off.

The tension in the water is palpable as you all turn toward shore, ready to battle for position. JJ glances at you, catching your eye for the first time since you paddled out. For a moment, it's like nothing has changed - you're just two kids from the Cut, living for the next wave. Then the moment breaks as the announcer's voice booms: "Final wave of heat three approaching! Who's gonna take it?"

The tension crackles through the air as all three surfers eye the approaching wave. JJ's muscles tense as he prepares to paddle, but suddenly you make your move first, cutting across his line with precise timing. You catch the wave perfectly, popping up with fluid grace that makes the crowd gasp.

"Holy shit!" John B's voice carries over the noise as you drop into the face of the wave. Your form is flawless, body low and controlled as you set up for your first maneuver. 

JJ can't help but watch, even as he and Kiara paddle back to position. You carve up the face of the wave, your movements more aggressive than before, spraying water in an arc that catches the sunlight. You transition into a series of snaps that have the judges leaning forward in their seats, before setting up for your finale.

"No fucking way," JJ mutters, recognizing the setup. It's a move you used to practice together, late at night when the beach was empty - a risky aerial that you’d perfected during those endless summer sessions. You launch off the lip, grabbing your rail and rotating in a way that seems to defy gravity. The landing is clean, and precise, sending another spray of water toward the sky as the crowd erupts.

"That's my girl!" Sarah screams from the beach, jumping up and down while clutching John B's arm. Pope's got his phone out, recording everything while shouting his own encouragement.

As you paddle back out, JJ catches your eye again. There's something different in your expression now - a mix of pride, challenge, and something else he can't quite read. Kiara paddles up beside him, a knowing look on her face.

"Damn," Kiara whistles low. "She's been practicing."

"Time!" The announcer's voice booms across the water. "Heat three is complete! Riders, return to shore for scoring."

The paddle back is quiet, each lost in your own thoughts as the judges figure out scores. JJ can feel the energy on the beach, knowing without looking that your last wave changed everything. As you hit the shallows, John B and Pope rush out to help with your boards.

"That was fucking insane!" John B exclaims, grabbing your board. "When did you learn to fly?"

You push your wet hair back, that shell necklace still somehow perfectly in place. "Maine has waves too," you say quietly, but your eyes flick to JJ as you say it. "Different, but good for practicing."

"Attention competitors," the announcer's voice cuts through their conversation. "Scores for heat three are ready..."

The group falls silent, tension building as you wait for the results. JJ finds himself holding his breath, his injured hand throbbing. The morning sun is high now, turning the ocean into a field of diamonds, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembers teaching you that aerial on a night just like this, under a full moon with no one else around.

The announcer's voice crackles over the speakers: "In third place, with a score of 8.7 - Kiara Carrera!"

Kiara grins, accepting high-fives from the group. "Not bad for a warmup," she says, squeezing water from her hair. Her eyes dart between JJ and you, anticipating what comes next.

"In second place, with a score of 9.2..." The pause feels endless, "JJ Maybank!"

JJ's jaw tightens, his fingers flexing around his board. He knows what's coming, and can feel it in the electric tension running through their little group. Pope claps him on the shoulder, but he barely feels it.

"And taking first place in heat three, with a score of 9.8 - Y/N L/N! That final aerial was something else, folks!"

The beach erupts in cheers, but JJ's focused on your face - the way your eyes widen in surprise, the slight tremor in your hands as Sarah pulls you into a crushing hug. You look exactly like you did years ago when you landed your first aerial under his guidance.

"Holy shit, Y/N!" John B whoops, lifting you off your feet in celebration. "That was fucking incredible!"

"All riders advancing to the finals, please check the board for heat assignments," the announcer continues. "Thirty-minute break before the next round."

JJ watches as they swarm you with congratulations, his emotions a tangled mess he can't sort through. Pride, jealousy, regret, and something deeper, something that feels like the undertow that used to drag you both out during night sessions.

"You taught her that aerial," Kiara says quietly beside him, her voice carrying a knowing tone. "I remember watching you two practice it for weeks."

Before JJ can respond, you break away from the group, approaching them with hesitant steps. You're holding something in your hand - his old surf wax, the one he'd always let you borrow during your sessions.

"Found this in my bag this morning," you say, your voice barely audible over the beach noise. "Thought you might want it back." Your finger brushes his as you hand it over, sending a jolt through his system that has nothing to do with the competition.

"Keep it," he finds himself saying, his voice rougher than intended. "Looks like you're putting it to better use anyway." He tries to make it sound casual, but there's too much history in those words, too many memories of dawn patrols and midnight sessions and promises made under starlit skies.

The moment stretches between you, heavy with unspoken words, until Pope's voice breaks through: "Guys! They're posting the final heat assignments!"

The group moves toward the bulletin board, but JJ hangs back, watching you walk away. The shell necklace catches the light again, and he remembers making it for you on this very beach, his fingers working the knots while you talked about constellations and dreams and futures that seemed possible then.

"You okay?" Kiara asks, lingering beside him.

"Yeah," JJ lies, running a hand through his salt-stiffened hair. "Just... fuck." He doesn't need to finish the sentence. Kiara understands - she always has.

The finals loom ahead, but all JJ can think about is that aerial, and how your form was exactly the same as when he first taught it to you, right down to the way you point your toes during the rotation. Some things, it seems, don't change - even when everything else does.

The beach is winding down as the sun begins its descent, painting the sky in brilliant oranges and pinks. The competition crowd has thinned, leaving behind only the most dedicated spectators and the Pogues, who are sprawled out on their blankets celebrating their friends' success. JJ, you, and Kiara stand together on the podium, your medals glinting in the late afternoon light.

"Third place, Kiara Carrera!" The announcer's voice booms one final time. Kiara grins, holding up her bronze medal as Sarah and John B whoop and holler from the crowd.

"Second place, Y/N L/N!" You step forward, accepting your silver medal with a small smile. The shell necklace around your neck catches the light, drawing JJ's attention momentarily.

"And your first-place winner, JJ Maybank!" The crowd erupts as JJ accepts his gold medal, his signature cocky grin in place despite the storm of emotions brewing beneath the surface. His final wave had been spectacular - a combination of raw power and technical skill that even the most critical judges couldn't deny.

As you step down from the podium, Pope approaches with a cooler. "Time to celebrate properly!" he announces, pulling out beers for everyone. The group gravitates toward your usual spot on the beach, away from the dispersing crowd.

"To the most talented pogues in the OBX!" John B raises his beer, his other arm wrapped around Sarah's waist. "And to Kiara for not killing JJ when he snake dropped her wave in the finals!"

"Hey!" JJ protests, but he's laughing. "All's fair in love and surfing, right?" The words hang in the air for a moment, loaded with meaning as his eyes unconsciously drift to you.

"That last aerial though," Pope interjects, sensing the tension. "Thought you were gonna break your neck, JJ."

"Please," JJ scoffs, taking a long drink from his beer. "That was nothing compared to the shit we used to pull during night sessions." He freezes slightly, realizing what he's said, and who he's referencing.

You shift beside him, your silver medal catching the dying light. "Remember that time we tried to surf during a lightning storm?" You say quietly, surprising everyone. "John B had to come to rescue us in the Twinkie."

"Jesus," Sarah laughs, but her eyes are watchful. "You two were always doing crazy shit like that."

The group falls into a comfortable rhythm of storytelling and laughter, the competition tension slowly easing. JJ finds himself hyper-aware of your presence, the way you laugh at John B's terrible jokes, and how you unconsciously play with that shell necklace when you're thinking.

"You've improved," he says suddenly when the others are distracted by Pope's dramatic reenactment of a wipeout. "Your form, I mean. It's... different. Better."

You look at him, really look at him, for what feels like the first time since you’ve been back. "Had a good teacher," you reply softly, your fingers still toying with the necklace. "Some things you don't forget, even when you're trying to."

The weight of unspoken words hangs between you, heavy as storm clouds. Kiara watches you two from across the circle, a knowing look in her eyes as she catches JJ's gaze.

The Wreck is bustling with the usual dinner crowd, but Kiara's parents have reserved the back section for their celebration. The smell of fried shrimp and hush puppies fills the air as you pile around your favorite table, medals still hanging around the winners' necks. The sunset streams through the windows, casting everything in a warm golden glow.

JJ slouches in his chair, one arm draped over the back as he nurses his beer. His eyes keep drifting to you, who's sitting between Sarah and Pope, your hair still damp from the ocean. The shell necklace catches the light every time you move, a constant reminder of everything that's changed and everything that hasn't.

"Yo, check it out," John B nudges JJ, nodding toward the entrance where Topper and Rafe are making their way over. The entire table tenses slightly, years of rivalry making everyone wary.

"Hey," Topper says, stopping at their table. He looks different - less aggressive than usual, almost humble. "Just wanted to say... that was some sick surfing today. All of you." His eyes linger on you for a moment longer than necessary, making JJ's jaw clench.

Rafe, surprisingly sober, nods in agreement. "That move in the finals, Maybank? Pretty fucking impressive." He shifts uncomfortably, clearly not used to complimenting pogues. "And Y/N... didn't know you had moves like that."

"Thanks," you reply quietly, your fingers automatically going to the shell necklace. The gesture doesn't go unnoticed by anyone at the table, especially JJ.

"Yeah, well," JJ starts, his voice carrying an edge, but Kiara kicks him under the table. He swallows whatever sarcastic comment he is about to make. "Thanks, man. You weren't half bad either, Topper."

"Listen," Topper says, running a hand through his hair. "We're having a bonfire in Figure Eight tonight. Victory party kind of thing. You guys should come." The invitation hangs in the air, surprising everyone.

Sarah raises an eyebrow at her brother. "Rafe? You're okay with this?"

Rafe shrugs, looking almost uncomfortable. "New leaf and all that shit, right? Besides," he grins, some of his old cockiness returning, "can't let you pogues have all the fun."

The group exchanges looks, years of kook-pogue rivalry making them hesitant. It's Pope who finally speaks up. "Yeah, alright. Could be fun."

"Cool," Topper nods, already backing away. "Starts at nine. Bring whatever." He and Rafe head back to their table, leaving you in stunned silence.

"Did that just happen? Did we just have a civil conversation with Topper and Rafe?" Kiara says surprised.

"End times," Pope declares solemnly, making everyone laugh. "The apocalypse is definitely coming."

"Well, that was weird," John B says, voicing what everyone's thinking. "Think it's a trap?"

"Nah," Sarah shakes her head. "Topper's been different lately. And Rafe... well, rehab changed him. A little, anyway."

JJ snorts, taking another drink. "Still don't trust them." His eyes find you again. "You gonna go?"

The question feels heavier than it should, loaded with implications. You meet his gaze, something unreadable in your expression. "Maybe," you say softly. "Might be nice to see how the other half lives, right?"

The tension at the table shifts, everyone pretending not to notice the way JJ's grip tightens on his beer bottle, or how your fingers haven't left that shell necklace since Topper walked away.

"Well," Kiara stands up, ever the peacemaker, "if we're doing this, we should probably get more food first. Can't show up to a kook party on empty stomachs." She heads toward the kitchen, leaving the others to navigate the complicated dynamics at the table.

The bonfire casts dancing shadows across the beach as JJ stands near the water's edge, the sound of waves mixing with distant laughter and music from the kook party. He's already several beers in, trying to drown out the memories that keep surfacing every time he catches sight of you. The others have conspicuously disappeared - John B and Sarah wandering off toward the dunes, Pope getting caught up in some debate about marine biology with a group of college kids, and Kiara conveniently remembering she needed to help set up the speakers.

You approach quietly, your presence announced only by the soft crunch of sand under your feet. You’ve changed since dinner, wearing a loose white beach dress that catches the firelight, that damn shell necklace still around your neck. Without warning, you reach out and take his beer, replacing it with a bottle of water.

"The fuck, Y/N/N?" JJ protests, the nickname slipping out before he can stop it. His voice is rougher than usual, whether, from the alcohol or emotion, it's hard to tell.

"You've had enough," you say softly, but firmly. "And we both know you get mean when you drink too much." There's no judgment in your voice, just stated fact - you know him too well, even after all this time.

JJ runs a hand through his hair, agitation clear in every movement. "Yeah? And what makes you think you still get to make that call?" The words come out harsh, but he takes a drink from the water bottle anyway.

You settle into the sand, patting the spot next to you. After a moment's hesitation, JJ sits too, maintaining careful distance between you two. The fire casts an orange glow across your skin.

"Remember the last bonfire we were at together?" You ask suddenly, your voice barely audible over the waves. "Before... everything?"

JJ tenses beside you, his fingers digging into the sand. "Don't," he warns, but there's less bite in his voice now. "We're not doing this, Y/N."

"Aren't we?" You turn to look at him fully, the firelight reflecting in your eyes. "Because I think we've been doing this dance since I got back. Everyone sees it, JJ. Even Kiara-"

"Leave Kie out of this," he snaps, but you both know it's a weak protest. His hand unconsciously moves toward yours in the sand before he catches himself. The shell necklace gleams as you shift, drawing his attention. "You kept it," he says suddenly, nodding toward the necklace. "Even in Maine."

"Never took it off," you admit quietly. "Even when they..it was the only piece of home I had left. The only piece of you."

JJ's breath catches at your words, his fingers curling into fists in the sand. The firelight dances across your faces as the party continues behind you, but you might as well be alone on the beach. The sound of waves seems to grow louder, matching the thundering of his heart.

"You can't just..." he starts, his voice cracking.

"You can't just say shit like that, Y/N. Not after... not after everything."

You shift slightly closer, the hem of your white dress brushing against his leg. "Then what can I say, JJ? Because we need to talk about it. About that night. About why I really left." 

"Yeah?" JJ's voice turns sharp, defensive. "What's there to talk about? You made your choice. You left. End of fucking story." But his eyes betray him, constantly drawn to your face, to the necklace, to the way the firelight catches in your hair.

"It wasn't a choice," you say quietly, your voice trembling slightly. "My parents found the letters, JJ. The ones I wrote to you about... about everything. About your dad, about what we were planning..." You take a shaky breath. "About how much I loved you."

JJ's whole body goes rigid at your words. The water bottle crumples in his grip, forgotten. "Stop," he says, but it sounds more like a plea than a command. "Just... fuck, Y/N."

"You want to know why I really left?" You continue, your voice stronger now. "Because that night, after I left your house, after your dad..." you swallow hard. "After I saw what he did to you, I went home and wrote everything down. Every bruise I'd helped you hide, every night you climbed through my window bleeding, every time you flinched when someone moved too fast. I was going to turn him in, JJ. I couldn't watch him hurt you anymore."

The confession hangs in the air between you, heavy as storm clouds. JJ's breathing has become ragged, his jaw clenched so tight it must hurt. Behind you, someone cranks up the music, but it feels distant, muffled like you're underwater.

"My parents found the letters before I could do anything," you continue, your voice barely above a whisper. "They read everything - about us, about your dad, about how we were planning to run away after graduation. They didn't give me a choice, JJ. It was either Maine or..." 

JJ stares at the water, his whole body vibrating with tension as he processes your words. The firelight catches the tears threatening to spill from his eyes, but he blinks them away furiously. His injured hand flexes in the sand, leaving small indentations that quickly fill with darkness.

"You were gonna..." he starts, his voice hoarse. "You were trying to protect me?" A bitter laugh escapes him. "Fuck, Y/N. I thought... all this time I thought you just couldn't handle my shit anymore. Thought you got tired of dealing with the fucked up pogue kid."

You shift closer, close enough that your shoulders brush. The contact sends electricity through both of you. "I could never get tired of you, JJ," you whisper, your voice catching. "Even in Maine, even when they had me so medicated I could barely remember my own name... I never stopped..."

"Don't," he cuts you off roughly, but he doesn't move away. "You can't just come back here and tell me all this shit. You can't just..." he runs his hand through his hair again, agitation clear in every movement. "Fuck, do you know what it did to me? Finding your room empty that morning? Your mom wouldn't tell me anything, just kept saying you were 'getting help' like you were some kind of..." he can't finish the sentence.

"I tried to call," you admit quietly. "That first month, I called your number every day until they took my phone. Left so many voicemails I filled up your inbox." You touch the shell necklace again, a habit he's starting to recognize as nervous comfort. "Did you... did you ever listen to them?"

"Every fucking one. Over and over until the system deleted them." He finally turns to look at you fully, his eyes intense in the firelight. "I still have that old phone. Can't bring myself to throw it away because it's got your last message saved."

The confession hangs between you, heavy with meaning. Behind you, the party continues, but you might as well be alone on the beach. The waves crash steadily, a rhythm you both know by heart from countless night sessions together.

"I kept every letter," You say softly. "The ones they wouldn't let me send. There's a whole box of them under my bed. Three years' worth of things I needed to tell you." Your hand moves unconsciously toward his in the sand, stopping just short of touching.

JJ stares at the ocean for a long moment, processing everything. The firelight dances across his features as he finally turns back to you, his expression raw and vulnerable in a way you haven’t seen since that last night three years ago.

"Every time something good happened, or something shit happened, or just... anything happened, my first thought was always 'I gotta tell Y/N.' Then I'd remember you weren't there anymore." He lets out a shaky breath. "Took me almost a year to stop turning to tell you stuff."

Your hand finally bridges the gap between them, your fingers brushing against his in the sand. Neither of you pulls away. "I did the same thing," you admit. "In group therapy, they'd ask who we missed most from home. I'd always say my parents, but..." You touch the shell necklace with your free hand. "It was always you, JJ. Every single time."

JJ's thumb unconsciously strokes across your knuckles, a gesture so familiar it makes your heartache. "I can't..." He starts, his voice catching. "I can't go through losing you again, Y/N. I barely survived it the first time." The admission costs him, you can see it in the way his jaw clenches, the way his fingers tighten slightly against yours.

"I'm not going anywhere," you whisper, the words carrying on the ocean breeze. "Not this time. Not ever again." You turn your hand in the sand, properly lacing your fingers together. "I'm done running, JJ. From you, from us, from everything."

The silence that follows is heavy with possibility. Behind you, someone calls your names - probably Pope or Sarah looking for you - but neither moves. "We can't just pick up where we left off," JJ finally says, but he doesn't let go of your hand. "Too much has happened. We're different people now."

You nod, understanding in your eyes. "I know. But maybe..." you squeeze his hand gently. "Maybe we can start something new. Something better."

JJ looks at your intertwined hands, then back at your face - at the girl who's haunted his dreams for three years, who's sitting here now in the firelight wearing his necklace and holding his hand like you never left. "Yeah," he says softly, a small, genuine smile finally breaking through. "Maybe we can."

The party continues behind you, but you stay there on the beach, hands linked, watching the waves and starting the long process of healing what was broken. It's not perfect, and it's not fixed, but it's a beginning. And sometimes, that's enough.

The moonlight streams through your bedroom window as you and JJ slip inside, your footsteps quiet on the hardwood floors. Your room looks different than JJ remembers - new paint, new decorations, but somehow still unmistakably you. The fairy lights strung across the ceiling cast a soft glow over everything, creating shadows that dance across the walls.

JJ hovers near the door, hands shoved in his pockets as he watches you drop to your knees beside the bed. The fabric of your dress ghosting around your legs as you reach under the bed frame. His shell necklace catches the light as you move, making his chest tight with memories.

"It's here somewhere," You mutter, pushing aside boxes and old notebooks. "I kept everything organized when I moved back, but..." you trail off, stretching further under the bed. 

JJ forces himself to look away, focusing instead on the photos newly tacked to your wall. Most are recent - your time in Maine, new friends, new places. But there, in the corner, partially hidden behind others, he spots one that makes his breath catch. It's you two, three years ago, on the beach after a night session. His arm is around your shoulders, both of you grinning at the camera, saltwater still dripping from your hair.

"Found it!" Your voice pulls him back to the present. You emerge from under the bed with a large shoebox, worn at the edges and covered in doodles. Your hands shake slightly as you set it on the bed, looking up at JJ with uncertainty in your eyes.

"That's... all of them?" JJ asks, his voice rougher than intended. He takes a step closer, drawn by the box like a magnet. Three years of words you couldn't say, couldn't send, all contained in one shoebox.

You nod, sitting cross-legged on the bed beside the box. "Every letter I wrote. Every time I missed you, every time something reminded me of you, every time I..." you trail off, fingers tracing the edge of the box. "Every time I needed you to know I still loved you."

The admission hangs in the air between you, heavy with possibility. JJ moves closer, perching on the edge of the bed, careful to maintain some distance. The fairy lights cast soft shadows across your face as you open the box, revealing stacks of envelopes, some crisp and new, others worn from being handled repeatedly.

"You don't have to read them now," you say quickly, noticing how JJ's hands have started to shake. "I just... I needed you to know they existed. That I never stopped trying to reach you, even when I couldn't actually send them."

The tension breaks as he lets out a snort of laughter, picking up one of the envelopes. "Your handwriting still looks like shit, Y/N," he teases, falling easily back into your old dynamic. "Seriously, did they not teach penmanship in Maine?"

You gasp in mock offense, snatching the letter from his hands. "Excuse you, this is art." You fought back a smile though, relief evident in your features at his attempt to lighten the mood. "Not all of us can have perfect surfer boy handwriting."

"Perfect?" JJ grins, reaching for another letter. "Have you seen my grocery lists? Even Pope can't read them." He settles more comfortably on the bed, his earlier hesitation melting away. "Oh shit, this one's got little hearts drawn all over it. Fucking sap."

"Shut up," You laugh, shoving his shoulder playfully. "I was heavily medicated and missing your stupid face." You pull out another letter, this one covered in doodles of waves and surfboards. "Oh god, my therapy art phase. We don't talk about this one."

JJ snatches it before you can hide it, his eyes scanning the page with growing amusement. "Holy fuck, is that supposed to be me?" He points to a stick figure with spiky hair riding a wave. "My hair does not look like that!"

"It absolutely does when you first wake up," you argue, reaching for the letter. JJ holds it above his head, laughing as you try to grab it. "JJ Maybank, give that back!"

"Make me," he challenges, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. It feels like old times - him in your room, playfully arguing about nothing important, the weight of your earlier conversation temporarily lifted.

You lunge for the letter, causing you both to tumble backward onto your bed, letters scattering around you. JJ's still holding the drawing above his head, grinning as you try to reach it. "You're such an ass," you complain, but you're laughing too.

"Yeah, but you missed this ass," he quips, then freezes slightly, worried he's pushed too far. But You just roll your eyes, finally managing to snatch the letter back.

"Unfortunately," you sigh dramatically, settling beside him among the scattered letters. "Though I'm starting to question my judgment."

JJ clutches his chest in mock hurt. "Wow, three years and you're already tired of me? That's cold, Y/N. Ice cold." He picks up another letter, this one dated from about a year ago. "Oh look, more hearts. And are those little JJs surfing?"

"I'm going to murder you," you threaten, but there's no heat in it. You're watching him with soft eyes, taking in how the fairy lights cast shadows across his face, how his smile reaches his eyes for the first time since you’ve been back.

"Nah, you love me too much," he says automatically, then stills as he realizes what he's said. The playful atmosphere wavers for a moment, the weight of your history threatening to crash back in.

But you just smile, reaching out to fix his messy hair. "Yeah," you say softly. "I do."

The admission is simple, honest, lacking the heavy emotion of your beach conversation. JJ looks at you, really looks at you, surrounded by three years worth of letters you wrote to him, wearing his necklace, smiling at him like nothing's changed and everything's changed all at once.

"Well, shit," he says finally, a grin tugging at his lips. "That's convenient. 'Cause I might still love you too."

The moment stretches between you, charged with three years of unspoken feelings until JJ finally closes the distance. His lips meet yours softly at first, hesitant, like he's afraid you might disappear if he pushes too hard. His hand comes up to cup your face, thumb brushing across your cheekbone as letters crinkle beneath you.

You respond immediately, your fingers threading through his hair as you pull him closer. The kiss deepens, three years of longing and regret and love pouring into it. JJ tastes like ocean and bonfire smoke, exactly how you remember.

"Fuck," JJ breathes against your lips, pulling back slightly. His blue eyes are dark with emotion as he looks at you, his thumb still tracing patterns on your skin. "I've missed this. Missed you." His voice is rough, and vulnerable in a way he rarely allows himself to be.

You smile, tugging gently at his hair. "Yeah?" You tease, though your voice trembles slightly. "Even with my shit handwriting?"

JJ laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest where it's pressed against yours. "Especially with your shit handwriting," he murmurs, before capturing your lips again. This kiss is different - deeper, more urgent. His hand slides from your face to your neck, fingers brushing against the shell necklace.

You shift on the bed, letters scattering to the floor forgotten as you pull JJ closer. His weight settles over you naturally, like you never spent time apart. The fairy lights cast a soft glow over them, creating shadows that dance across your skin.

"Is this okay?" JJ asks between kisses, his forehead resting against yours. Despite his usual confidence, there's uncertainty in his voice. "We don't have to..."

You cut him off with another kiss, your hands sliding under his t-shirt to trace the familiar planes of his back. "JJ," you whisper against his lips. "Shut up."

He grins against your mouth, some of his usual cockiness returning. "Make me," he challenges, echoing your earlier playful banter. But there's heat in his voice now, promise in the way his fingers trail down your sides tracing the curve of your waist through the thin fabric of your white dress. His touch is familiar and electric, leaving trails of heat in its wake. The fairy lights cast a soft glow over them as he captures your lips again, deeper this time, more urgent.

"Fuck, Y/N," he breathes against your mouth, his voice rough with want. His fingers find the hem of your dress, playing with the fabric as he kisses down your neck. "Tell me if you want me to stop."

"Don't you dare," you whisper, tugging at his hair the way you know he likes, The action draws a low groan from him, his hips pressing instinctively against yours. JJ pulls back slightly, his blue eyes dark with desire as he looks down at you. The shell necklace gleams against your skin, making his chest tight with emotion. He leans down, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your collarbone, following the path of the necklace.

"You're wearing too many clothes," he murmurs against your skin, his hands sliding higher under your dress. His touch is reverent, relearning every curve and dip of your body. When his fingers brush against the lace of your underwear, you both inhale sharply.

You tug at his shirt impatiently. "So are you," you breathe, helping him pull it over his head your hands immediately explore his chest. "God, I've missed touching you."

JJ's response is to kiss you again, hard and deep, as his hands work to dress up your body. "Lift up," he instructs softly, and you arch your back so he can pull the fabric over your head. The sight of you in just your underwear, his necklace resting between your breasts, makes him pause.

"What?" You ask, suddenly self-conscious under his intense gaze. But JJ just shakes his head, leaning down to press kisses across your chest.

"Just..." he murmurs between kisses, "trying to memorize everything." His hands slide up your sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts through your bra. "In case this is a dream."

You reach up to touch JJ's face tenderly, your thumb tracing his bottom lip. "Not a dream," you whisper, pulling him down for another deep kiss. Your legs wrap around his waist, drawing him closer as his hands explore your body with increasing urgency.

JJ's fingers trace the edge of your bra, his touch teasing yet reverent. "Can I...?" he asks against your lips, and you nod, arching your back so he can reach the clasp. His hands are slightly shaky as he unhooks it like he still can't quite believe this is real.

"Fuck," he breathes as the garment falls away, revealing your breasts. The shell necklace rests between them, catching the fairy lights. JJ leans down, pressing open-mouthed kisses across your chest. His tongue traces patterns on your skin, remembering exactly how to make you gasp.

Your hands tangle in his hair as he takes a nipple into his mouth, your back arching off the bed. "JJ," you moan softly, mindful of the quiet house. His free hand palms your other breast, thumb circling the sensitive peak until you're squirming beneath him.

"Missed these sounds," JJ murmurs against your skin, switching his attention to your other breast. "Missed making you fall apart." His hand slides down your stomach, fingers playing with the waistband of your underwear. "Can still remember every spot that makes you shake."

To prove his point, he kisses down your ribs to that sensitive spot just below your left breast - the one that always makes you gasp. Sure enough, your breath hitches, your fingers tightening in his hair. "Still so responsive," he grins against your skin, nipping gently.

"Shut up," you breathe, but there's no heat in it. Your hands slide down his back, nails dragging lightly across his skin in the way you know drives him crazy. JJ groans, his hips pressing against yours instinctively.

"Make me," he challenges, echoing your earlier banter as he kisses lower, across your stomach. His fingers hook into your underwear, but he pauses, looking up at you with dark eyes. "Tell me you want this, Y/N/N. Tell me you want me."

You prop yourself up on your elbows, looking down at him with eyes full of love and desire. The fairy lights cast shadows across his face, highlighting the intensity of his gaze. "I want you, JJ," you whisper. "Always have, always will."

When you reach the waistband of his shorts, he groans softly against your neck. "Can I?" You ask, fingers playing with the button of his shorts. JJ nods against your skin, his breath hot on your neck as you work the button free. The sound of his zipper seems loud in the quiet room.

JJ helps you slide his shorts down his legs, his breath catching as your fingers trace the waistband of his boxers. The fairy lights cast a soft glow over his skin, highlighting the muscles that flex under your touch. "Fuck, Y/N," he breathes as your hand palms him through the thin fabric. His hips buck involuntarily, seeking more friction. "You're gonna kill me."

You smirk up at him, enjoying the way his breath hitches as you hook your fingers in his boxers. "That's the plan," you tease, slowly pulling the fabric down. JJ kicks them off impatiently, leaving him completely bare above you.

His hands slide up your thighs, fingers playing with the edge of your underwear. "These need to go," he murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your hip bone. "Want to taste you again."

You lift your hips, letting him slide the lace down your legs. The shell necklace gleams against your skin as you move, drawing JJ's attention. He leans down, pressing kisses along the chain until he reaches the shell pendant resting between your breasts.

"Still can't believe you kept it," he whispers against your skin, his hands exploring your now-bare body with increasing urgency. "Kept wearing it all this time."

"Never took it off," you breathe, arching into his touch as his fingers trace patterns on your inner thighs. "It was like keeping a piece of you with me."

JJ groans at your words, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. His hand slides higher, fingers teasing where you want him most. "Tell me what you need," he murmurs against your mouth. "Want to make you feel good."

Your response is cut off by a gasp as his fingers find where you need him. Your hands clutch at his shoulders, "You," you manage to say. "Just you, JJ. Always you."

JJ's fingers trace slow, teasing circles against your sensitive flesh, watching with dark eyes as you arch beneath his touch. His other hand explores your body with reverent familiarity, relearning every curve and dip that he's missed for three long years. The fairy lights cast shifting shadows across your bare skin as you move together on your bed. "Fuck, you're so wet already," JJ breathes against your neck, his voice rough with desire. His fingers slide lower, teasing your entrance as his thumb continues its maddening circles. "Always so responsive for me, Y/N."

JJ can't resist leaning down to trace the chain of the necklace with his tongue, following its path down to where it rests against your sternum. "Please," you gasp as he slides one finger inside you, your legs spreading wider to accommodate him. "JJ, I need..."

"Tell me," he murmurs against your skin, adding a second finger and curling them just right. "Want to hear you say it, baby. Tell me what you need." Your response is cut off by a moan as his thumb presses harder, his fingers finding that spot inside you that makes you see stars. JJ watches your face intently, memorizing every expression of pleasure that crosses your features. His cock throbs insistently against your thigh, but he ignores it, focused entirely on making you fall apart.

"You," you finally manage, your voice breathy and desperate. "Need you inside me, JJ. Please."

JJ groans at your words, his control wavering. But he forces himself to maintain his slow pace, wanting to draw this out, to make it last. His fingers continue their steady rhythm as he kisses down your body, paying special attention to each sensitive spot he remembers.

"Not yet," he whispers against your hip bone, nipping gently at the skin there. "Want to taste you first. Been dreaming about this for three years, Y/N. Gonna take my time."

JJ settles between your thighs, his hot breath teasing your sensitive flesh as he presses open-mouthed kisses along your inner thighs. His fingers maintain their steady rhythm inside you, curling just right. "Missed how you taste," he murmurs against your thigh, nipping gently at the sensitive skin. "Missed making you fall apart like this." His free hand slides up your body to palm your breast, thumb circling your nipple as he finally presses his tongue against your clit.

Your back arches off the bed, one hand tangling in his salt-stiffened hair while the other grips your sheets. The shell necklace catches the light as you move, a constant reminder of your shared history. "JJ," you gasp, trying to keep your voice down despite the pleasure coursing through you.

JJ hums against you, the vibration making your thighs tremble. His tongue traces patterns around your clit as his fingers continue their steady thrusting, finding that perfect spot inside you that makes you see stars. He watches your face intently, memorizing every expression of pleasure that crosses your features.

"That's it, baby," he murmurs, pulling back slightly to blow cool air against your heated flesh. "Want to see you come apart for me. Been too fucking long." His words are punctuated by another curl of his fingers, another swipe of his tongue.

Your hips buck against his face as he sucks your clit into his mouth, your breathing becoming more ragged. JJ's free hand slides down to hold your hips steady, his grip firm but gentle. "Close," you manage to gasp, your fingers tightening in his hair. "JJ, I'm so close..."

JJ doubles his efforts, his tongue moving faster as his fingers maintain their perfect rhythm. He can feel your walls beginning to flutter around his fingers and can taste how close you are. "Come for me, Y/N, Want to feel you fall apart on my tongue."

The combination of his words, his fingers, and his tongue finally pushes you over the edge. Tour back arches sharply, your thighs trembling as waves of pleasure crash over you. JJ works you through it, his movements becoming gentler as you come down from your high.

When he finally pulls back, his lips are glistening and his eyes are dark with desire. He presses soft kisses up your body as you catch your breath, paying special attention to the shell necklace that rests between your breasts. His cock presses insistently against your thigh, but he makes no move to rush things.

"Beautiful," he murmurs against your neck, nipping gently at your pulse point. "Fucking beautiful, Y/N. Missed watching you come undone like that."

Your hands slide down his back, nails dragging lightly across his skin in a way that makes him shiver. "Need you," you whisper, pulling him up for a deep kiss. You taste yourself on his tongue, making you moan softly. "Please, JJ. Need you inside me."

JJ positions himself between your thighs, his cock pressing teasingly against your entrance. The fairy lights cast shadows across your sweat-slicked bodies as he captures your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. "Need you to be sure," he murmurs against your lips, his voice rough with desire and emotion. "Tell me this is what you want, Y/N." His cock slides against your wetness, making you both gasp at the sensation. 

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "I'm sure, JJ," you breathe, your hands sliding up his back to tangle in his hair. "Been sure since the day I left. Want you, need you, love you."

JJ groans at your words, capturing your lips again as he slowly pushes inside you. You both freeze at the sensation, overwhelmed by the feeling of being connected again after so long. "Fuck," he breathes against your neck, his arms trembling as he holds himself still. "You feel fucking perfect, baby."

Your nails dig into his shoulders as you adjust to his size, your breath coming in short gasps. The fairy lights dance across your skin as you start to move together, finding your rhythm like you’ve never spent a day apart. JJ's movements are slow, and deliberate, wanting to savor every moment.

"Missed this," he murmurs, pressing open-mouthed kisses along your neck. "Missed you, missed us." His words are punctuated by slow, deep thrusts that make you gasp and arch beneath him. One hand slides down to grip your hip, angling you just right.

The shell necklace moves with each thrust, catching the light and drawing JJ's attention. He leans down to trace it with his tongue, following its path between your breasts. The action makes you moan softly, your walls clenching around him.

"JJ," you gasp as he hits that perfect spot inside you. "Please, need more." Your hands slide down his back, nails leaving light scratches that make him groan and thrust harder.

He continues his slow, deliberate pace, savoring every gasp and moan that escapes your lips. His hands explore your body with increasing urgency, one sliding down to grip your thigh as he adjusts the angle of his thrusts. "Fuck," he groans against your neck, nipping gently at your pulse point. "Feel so good around me, so fucking perfect." His words are punctuated by deep, measured thrusts that make your walls clench around him. The shell necklace gleams between your breasts, moving with each roll of his hips.

Your hands slide up his back, nails leaving light scratches that make him shudder. "Please, JJ," you gasp, your legs tightening around his waist. "Need more, need you harder." Your voice is breathy, and desperate, making his control waver.

But JJ maintains his torturously slow pace, wanting to draw out every moment. His free hand slides between them to circle your clit, making your back arch sharply off the bed. "Not yet, baby," he murmurs, capturing your lips in a deep kiss. "Want to feel every inch of you, want to make this last."

JJ's thumb continues its maddening circles on your clit as he thrusts deeper, hitting that spot inside you that makes you see stars. "JJ," You moan, your walls fluttering around him as you get closer to the edge. "I'm close, so close..." 

His thrusts become slightly harder, and deeper, but still maintain that measured pace that's driving you both crazy. JJ's free hand slides up to palm your breast, thumb circling your nipple as he continues to work you higher. The combination of sensations has you gasping his name, your body trembling beneath him.

JJ grins against your lips, his hands sliding down to grip your hips. "Want to try something?" he asks, his voice rough with desire. Without waiting for an answer, he suddenly rolls you over, keeping himself buried deep inside you as you end up straddling his lap.

"Fuck," You gasp at the new angle, your hands braced against his chest as you adjust. The shell necklace swings between you, catching the fairy lights as you move. JJ's hands slide up your thighs, gripping your hips as he guides you into a slow rhythm.

"That's it, baby," he groans, watching as you start to move above him. Your breasts bounce slightly with each movement, making his mouth water. "Ride my cock just like that." His hands explore your body freely from this new position, one sliding up to palm your breast while the other keeps a steady grip on your hip.

You set a torturously slow pace, rolling your hips in a way that has JJ cursing under his breath. Your walls clench around him with each movement, drawing low groans from deep in his chest. "Missed watching you like this," JJ breathes, his hands roaming your body possessively. He sits up slightly, capturing a nipple in his mouth as you continue to ride him. 

His hands guide your movements, helping you maintain that slow, deep pace that's driving you both crazy.

"JJ," You moan as he hits that perfect spot inside you. Your nails drag down his chest, leaving light scratches that make him buck up into you harder. 

JJ's control starts to slip as he watches you move above him, your head thrown back in pleasure. "Fuck, Y/N," he groans, his hands tightening on your hips. "You look so fucking good riding my cock like this."

He watches in awe as you continue to ride him, your movements becoming more confident with each roll of your hips. His hands slide up your sides, thumbs brushing the undersides of your breasts as you move above him. "Fuck, just like that," he groans, bucking up to meet your movements. His hands grip your hips tighter, guiding you into a rhythm that has you both gasping. 

You brace your hands on his chest, using the leverage to grind down harder. Your walls clench around him with each movement, drawing curses from his lips. "JJ," you moan, your head falling back as he hits that perfect spot inside you. "So deep like this..."

JJ works faster on your clit as he continues to thrust up into you, hitting that spot that makes you see stars. You gasp, and your movements become more desperate. He suddenly pulls out of you, making you whimper at the loss. His chest heaves with heavy breaths as he tries to regain some control, his cock throbbing painfully between you. 

"Need to slow down," he groans against your lips, his hands sliding up your sides. "Don't want this to end yet." His fingers trace patterns on your skin as you straddle his thighs. Your hands slide down his chest, nails dragging lightly across his skin in a way that makes him shiver. "JJ," you whimper, trying to move closer. Your pussy is dripping wet, clenching around nothing as you seek friction.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me," his fingers slid between your legs to tease your entrance. He watches as you gasp and arches into his touch, your walls fluttering around his fingers. "Could stay here all night, just watching you fall apart."

You rock against his hand, seeking more friction. JJ's free hand slides up to palm your breast, thumb circling your nipple as he continues to tease you with shallow thrusts of his fingers. "Please," you moan, your hands gripping his shoulders for support. "Need you back inside me, JJ. Been too long without you."

You shift in JJ's lap, deliberately grinding against his thigh. The friction makes you gasp, your wetness coating his skin as you rock your hips. His hands gripping your hips to guide your movements. "Fuck, Y/N," he groans, feeling your pussy slide against his thigh. "You're so fucking wet." His fingers dig into your flesh, leaving marks that will be visible tomorrow. 

Your hands brace against his chest for leverage as you grind harder, chasing the friction you need. The shell necklace swings between you with each movement, occasionally brushing against his heated skin. "JJ," you moan, your head falling back as pleasure builds.

JJ's free hand slides between them, thumb finding your clit as you continue to grind against him. "Please, more, need you inside me again." Your words are punctuated by the roll of your hips, your pussy sliding against his thigh with increasing urgency.

His thumb works faster on your clit as you ride his thigh, drawing you closer to release. "Come like this first," he commands roughly. You continue grinding against JJ's thigh, your movements becoming more desperate as pleasure builds. Your wetness coats his skin, making each slide of your pussy against him smoother, more intense. JJ's hands grip your hips tighter, guiding your movements as he watches you chase your release. 

"Want to feel you soak my thigh before I fuck you properly." JJ’s words, combined with the pressure on your clit and the friction against his thigh, finally push you over the edge. Your body trembles as waves of pleasure crash over you, your pussy pulsing against JJ's thigh as you come. Your wetness coats his skin, making everything slick and hot between you. 

"Fuck, that's it," His cock throbs painfully between you, demanding attention. "So fucking beautiful when you come." His thumb continues to circle your clit, drawing out your pleasure until your gasping and squirming.

Without warning, JJ flips them over, pinning you beneath him on the bed. His cock slides through your wetness, teasing your sensitive flesh. "Need to be inside you again," he groans, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. "Been too fucking long without this."

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Please, JJ," you whimper, still sensitive from your orgasm. Your walls clench around nothing, seeking the fullness of his cock. "Need you inside me."

JJ lines himself up with your entrance, watching your face as he slowly pushes back inside. You both groan at the sensation, your walls stretching to accommodate him again.  "Fuck, still so tight," JJ breathes, setting a slow, deep pace. His hands explore your body possessively as he thrusts into you, memorizing every curve and dip. "Feel so good."

Your hands slide up his back, nails leaving light scratches that make him shudder. Your pussy pulses around him with each thrust, drawing low groans from deep in his chest. JJ maintains his deep, steady rhythm as he thrusts into you, his hands gripping your hips with bruising force. "I’m close," you gasp, your hands clutching at his shoulders for support. "So close, JJ. Please don't stop."

His hand slides between them to circle your clit as he maintains his punishing pace. "Come for me again," he commands. His thrusts become more erratic as he feels his release approaching, his grip on your hips tightening with bruising force. The fairy lights cast dancing shadows across their sweat-slicked bodies as they move together with increasing urgency. Without warning, he suddenly pulls out, his cock throbbing painfully between you.

"Fuck," he groans, his hand wrapping around his length as he strokes himself. "Where do you want it, baby?" His eyes are dark with desire as he watches you beneath him, your chest heaving with heavy breaths.

Your hands slide up his chest, nails dragging lightly across his skin. "On me," you gasp, still trembling from your release. 

JJ's control finally snaps at your words. With a low groan, he comes hard, painting thick stripes across your stomach and breasts. The shell necklace gleams in the fairy lights, covered in drops of his release.

You collapse together on the bed, breathing heavily as you come down from your high. JJ reaches for his discarded t-shirt, gently cleaning his release from your skin. "Stay," you whisper, curling into his side. Your fingers trace patterns on his chest as your breathing slowly returns to normal. "Please stay this time."

JJ pulls you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Not going anywhere," he murmurs against your skin. "Never again." The fairy lights continue to cast their soft glow over the room as you drift off to sleep, tangled together like they never spent a day apart.

His phone buzzes on the nightstand, the screen illuminating the dim room with a soft blue glow. He groans softly, careful not to wake you who's curled against his chest, your breathing deep and even. 

The group chat notification shows several messages from John B and Pope:

John B: yo where tf did you and y/n disappear to??? 👀

Pope: they definitely left together bro

John B: fucking FINALLY

Pope: 20 bucks says they're at her place

John B: nah man, bet they're at the chateau

JJ can't help but grin at his friends' messages, his free hand absently playing with your hair as you sleep.

His phone buzzes again:

John B: JJ we know you're reading these messages asshole

Pope: let him live, he's probably busy 😏

John B: BUSY WITH WHAT POPE??? 🤔😂

JJ rolls his eyes, typing out a quick response with one hand:

"fuck off both of you”

The response is immediate:

John B: HE LIVES!!!

Pope: told you they were together

John B: you better not fuck this up again maybank

JJ's jaw tenses at John B's last message, his arm tightening slightly around your sleeping form. The fairy lights cast soft shadows across your peaceful face as he looks down at you, remembering everything you’ve been through to get here. The shell necklace rests between you, a constant reminder of your shared past and the promise of your future but for now, in this room with its fairy lights and scattered memories, nothing exists beyond the two of you.

[urmum-lovesme]

Bunny

Rafe Cameron x Maybank!Reader

summary: Struggling to keep her and JJ’s home afloat, Y/N turns to the only option that guarantees fast cash- stripping at a club on the Cut. But when Rafe Cameron catches her in the act, he sees the perfect opportunity to tighten his grip around her life.

a/n: I actually said I'd never do another series again but here we are 😼. Looollll anywho, Y/N literally is literally a walking definition of older child syndrome and her and Rafe hate eachother so much stop. This is gonna be such a good enemies to lovers get me outta here

warnings: mentions of drugs, smoking, drinking, a strip club (duh), naked women, drug dealing, aggressive behaviour.

(P1) (P2) (P3) (P4) (P5) (P6) (P7) (P8) (P9) (P10) (P11)

The faucet dripped steadily, each drop hitting the rust-stained sink with an echo that filled the quiet of the house. Y/N stood in the cramped bathroom, arms crossed, lips pressed together in frustration as she watched the slow but relentless leak. 

Another thing broken. 

Another thing they couldn’t afford to fix.

She let out a slow breath, running a hand down her face before turning sharply at the sound of footsteps thudding through the hallway. She knew them well—JJ, heading for the door, heading out. Again.

“JJ.” 

Her voice was firm, but it barely slowed him down as he moved through the house, searching for his keys. He muttered, pushing past the worn couch and shoving a hand into the pocket of his frayed shorts.

“Not now, Y/N, alright?” 

“JJ, seriously.” 

She stepped into his path, arms out now, forcing him to stop. 

“Can you just- can you talk to me for five seconds?”

“What?”

His blue eyes flicked up to hers, but there was impatience in them, already halfway gone even as he stood in front of her. Y/N clenched her jaw, gesturing back toward the bathroom. 

“Shit’s breaking faster than I can fix it. We need money and I can’t do this alone.”

“I’ll figure something out, okay?” 

JJ sighed, rubbing a hand down his face as he stepped around her, heading toward the door again. She let out a humorless scoff watching her brother avoid the conversation- once again.

 “What about that job interview at the gas station I told you about last week?”

She’d told him about it last monday, she could still remember begging the manager to give him a chance, given his reputation- well it wasn't the best. JJ’s shoulders tensed slightly, and for the first time, he hesitated. 

“Uh… yeah, about that…”

Y/N’s stomach dropped. She already knew the answer before he finished his sentence. She spoke slowly, warning in her tone.

 “JJ” 

“Look, me and the Pogues were fishing, and we kinda… lost track of time.”

He winced, rubbing the back of his neck. Y/N shut her eyes, exhaling sharply as she lifted her hands to cover her face. 

“Are you serious?”

“I mean, technically, I did show up. Just… a little late.”

JJ let out a half-hearted chuckle, like maybe that’d soften the blow. She dropped her hands, shaking her head as exhaustion settled deep in her bones. 

“Jesus, Jay. Do you even care?”

JJ frowned but didn’t answer right away. He knew he was being a little unreasonable- but in his defense he was just a teen. His silence however told her everything. She looked at him and momentarily took in his appearance, his messy blond hair, his summer kissed skin; she envied him a little, the way he was always out and about, not worried, never stressed. She muttered, turning on her heel.

“Forget it” 

“Y/N—”

But she was already walking away, back toward the bathroom, back toward the leaking faucet, back toward everything she had to deal with alone. JJ hesitated for a second, watching her go, then sighed and yanked open the door. And then it shut behind him, leaving Y/N standing there in the silence. She swallowed hard, blinking back the stinging frustration behind her eyes.

"Yeah," she muttered to herself, voice barely above a whisper.

 "Guess I'll figure it out myself."

After a while she had given up on the leaky faucet, cleaning up the house- to the best of her ability- before settling down in the kitchen.The stack of bills sat on the dining table, a messy pile of final notices and overdue warnings. Y/N stared at them, her fingers running over the edges of the envelopes, as if touching them could somehow make the numbers smaller, make the debt disappear. The utilities, the rent- hell, even the grocery bill? It was all piling up faster than she could keep up with. Sometimes she wished she could turn back time, move back to when she didn't even know about all of this, before she showed her dad she could look after herself - and JJ… maybe then she wouldn't have this constant weight on her shoulders.

With a sigh, she dropped her head down onto the table, resting her forehead against the cool surface. Think, think, think. There had to be a way to come up with money, something quick, something that didn’t involve relying on JJ, because clearly that wasn’t an option either now. Her mind raced through possibilities, but every idea led to a dead end. The front door swung open and then slammed shut. Y/N didn’t even lift her head as heavy, stumbling footsteps made their way inside. 

She knew that gait all too well. 

Her jaw clenched as her father mumbled something incoherent under his breath, his words slurred, laced with whatever shit he had put in his system tonight. She stayed still, hoping, praying, that he’d just pass out somewhere and leave her be. Without a word to her, he shuffled through the house, disappearing into her bedroom. Y/N pursed her lips, lifting her head slightly as she listened to him rustling around in there. She knew better than to go after him. Whatever he was looking for- money, booze, something to pawn- she wasn’t about to get in his way.

Instead, she pushed back from the table, standing up slowly, her hands pressing against the wood as she steadied herself. The house was too quiet now, except for the occasional sound of drawers opening and closing in her room. Her stomach twisted. She needed to get out of here, needed to fix this mess before it swallowed her whole.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She’d been driving with no real destination, letting the silence of the night and the hum of the engine settle her thoughts. She’s gripping the wheel tightly, her thoughts tangled in the mess of overdue payments, an empty fridge, and a father and brother who barely acknowledge her existence unless they want something.Then, as she’s driving through the dimly lit streets, she passes by it. The neon sign flickers, casting a dull pink glow onto the pavement, and without even thinking, she slams the brakes. Her car comes to a sudden stop in the middle of the empty street and can feel her seat belt digging into her chest momentarily, her heart pounding as she stares at the building.

It’s not like she’s never thought about it before. 

She’s heard things, seen the type of girls who walk in and out of there, all done up with money to spend. And right now, she has nothing- nothing but overdue bills and a house falling apart. Her hands grip the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. A part of her wants to just drive away, pretend she never even considered it. But another part of her- the part that’s desperate, the part that’s sick of drowning- knows this might be her only shot. She swallows hard, taking a deep breath before finally pulling her car to the curb. She sits there for a second, hands still on the wheel, staring at the entrance, she brings her hand up to rub it down her face, hand resting over her mouth as she thinks. 

Really thinks.

Then, before she can change her mind, she kills the engine and steps out.

The night air is cool against her skin, but it does nothing to settle the heat rising in her chest. Her heart is hammering, her stomach twisting as she closes the car door behind her. The pavement feels unsteady beneath her feet as she walks toward the entrance. The music from inside is faint but pulsing, the bass reverberating through the ground. She hesitates, staring at the worn-down exterior and the neon sign buzzing overhead. As she approached the door, something caught her eye- a flyer taped to the window, the bold letters glaring at her in the dimming light.

NOW HIRING

This is insane. 

She shouldn’t be here.

And yet, she doesn’t turn around, instead her fingers flex at her sides before she pushes the door open, stepping inside. The shift in atmosphere is immediate. The air is thick with perfume and alcohol, the dim lighting casting deep shadows across the room. The club isn’t packed- it’s late on a weekday- but there are still men scattered around, cash in hand, eyes glued to the stage. A girl moves fluidly under the colored lights, her body illuminated by pinks and blues as she wraps herself around the pole. Y/N swallows, forcing herself to keep walking, past the wandering eyes of men who glance at her but don’t linger. She doesn’t know exactly where she’s going, only that if she stops now, she’ll most likely lose her nerve.

She spots a bar toward the back and makes a beeline for it, hands slightly clammy. A woman stands behind the counter, pouring a drink for some guy in a suit. Y/N waits until she’s done before leaning in slightly. 

“Hey, um- do you know who I talk to if I’m looking for a job?”

The woman lifts a brow, gaze flicking over Y/N, taking her in. Then, without a word, she jerks her chin toward a door near the back as she picks up a glass on the counter and starts drying it. 

“Through there. Ask for Tommy.”

Y/N nods, her pulse jumping as she turns toward the door. This is it. She can still leave, still pretend she never came here. But instead, she takes a breath and pushes the door open. The door swings shut behind her with a dull thud, muffling the thumping bass from the main room. The air back here feels different- less suffocating, it’s dimly lit, the walls lined with old vintage posters of strippers and liquor crates, the faint scent of cigarettes lingers in the air.

Y/N’s eyes adjust quickly, landing on a man seated behind a cluttered desk, lazily counting a stack of cash. He looks to be in his late forties, broad-shouldered with thinning hair and a face that’s seen its fair share of rough nights. A half-smoked cigarette dangles between his fingers. He doesn’t look up immediately, just exhales a cloud of smoke before finally lifting his gaze to hers. His eyes sweep over her, slow and calculating. 

“You lost, sweetheart?”

“I saw you were hiring.”

Y/N shakes her head, her hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket.That piques his interest. He leans back in his chair, eyeing her with something between amusement and scrutiny. 

“That so?”

“Yeah. I—I need a job.”

She nods, trying to keep her voice steady. Tommy taps his fingers against the desk, sizing her up. 

“You ever danced before?”

Y/N hesitates for half a second, “No.”

He smirks like he expected that answer, responding with a slow nod as he places the money he was counting into an envelope labeled ‘Bambi’. 

“You got any experience bartending? Serving?”

“...I'm a waitress at the country club.”

His brow lifts, and for a moment, she thinks he’s going to laugh in her face. Instead, he sighs, rubbing a hand down his jaw, momentarily pausing as he closes up the envelope, puts it onto a pile and looks up to her. 

“So, what? You just walked in here hoping I’d throw you on stage?”

“I’m a fast learner.”

Y/N presses her lips together, shifting on her feet. Tommy watches her for a beat, then gestures toward the empty chair across from him. 

“Sit.”

She does, moving forward and lowering herself onto the chair in front of him, the leather squeaking a little as it makes contact with her bare thighs. He studies her in the dim light, tapping his cigarette against the ashtray. 

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N,” he says, dragging the word out like he’s tasting it. “You don’t look like a girl who just woke up one day and decided this is what she wanted to do. So tell me- what are you really doing here?”

“I need the money.”

Y/N clenches her jaw. Tommy hums, nodding like that doesn’t surprise him as he taps the ash of his cigarette on the edge of an empty whiskey glass. 

“That part’s obvious.” 

He leans forward slightly as he continues, resting his elbows on the table. 

“But I need to know what I’m dealing with. You got people who’ll come looking for you? A jealous boyfriend? Strict parents? Any reason this might come back to bite me in the ass?”

Y/N hesitates, because the truth is- complicated. JJ wouldn’t approve, not in a million years, his sister working in a strip club? There was no way he would be happy about it, but the more she thought about it, he’s barely around- and besides she is the older sibling. And Luke? She doubts he’d even notice with the way he’s always high out of his mind. Yet deep down she knew, if he did find out it certainly wouldn’t end well.

“No,” she says finally. 

“No one’s coming after me.”

Tommy watches her carefully, like he’s weighing her answer. Then, with a slow nod, he exhales another stream of smoke and flicks his butt of his cigarette into the glass. 

“Alright, Y/N… I’ll give you a shot.”

Relief floods her chest, but it’s short-lived as he continues.

“First things first- you start off small. No stage, not yet. You’ll work the floor. Waitress, maybe some private rooms if you’re up for it. Tips are yours, but the house gets a cut. If you prove you can handle yourself, we’ll talk about dancing.”

Y/N nods, ignoring the way her stomach tightens at the mention of private rooms. She can handle this. She has to. Tommy gestures toward the door. 

“Come in tomorrow night. Nine o’clock. One of the girls will show you the ropes.”

“Okay, thank you.”

He hums out as Y/N stands up, gripping the back of the chair briefly before letting go. As she turns to leave her hand reaching out for the door handle, Tommy’s voice stops her.

“One last thing, sweetheart.”

She glances back.

“I hope you know what you’re getting into.”

His gaze is sharp, knowing. Y/N doesn’t reply. What could she possibly say to him? She just nods once and steps back through the door, back into the neon-lit haze of the club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dressing room hummed with chatter, the air thick with the scent of perfume, body shimmer, and a mix of fruity smoke drifting around. Mirrors lined the walls, reflecting girls in various states of getting ready- adjusting lingerie straps, applying a final coat of lip gloss, securing thigh-high stockings into garter belts. Y/N sat at one of the vanities, leaning in close as she fixed the last flick of her eyeliner. Her figure was wrapped in black lace, tiny straps and sheer panels leaving just enough to the imagination- but she still had a few finishing touches to go. Naomi- better known as Bambi- was beside her, placing her straightener down and popping her gum loudly as she smirked at Y/N through the mirror. 

“You’re getting faster at this,” She mused, eyes flicking down to Y/N’s hands as she fastened a delicate silver choker with a small heart pendant around her neck. 

“First week, you were takin’ forever in here. Now look at you. A real pro, Bunny.”

Y/N rolled her eyes but smiled, smoothing out a stray strand of hair before reaching for her gloss. She teased, voice light but with that tired edge that never quite went away these days.

“Yeah, yeah. You gonna pat me on the head next?” 

“Mmm, maybe after your first private dance of the night. If you’re good girl.”

Bambi grinned and Y/N huffed a laugh, pressing her lips together to even out the gloss. A month and some into this life, and she wasn’t sure if she was settling in or just getting better at pretending she had. It was easier now- knowing the regulars, knowing what songs meant what, knowing how to smile just enough but not too much. The money helped. 

God, did the money help.

She glanced down at her phone, screen lighting up with a notification. 

JJ :  Staying at John B’s 

JJ  :  See you tmr

JJ  :  Good luck at work!!!

Y/N stares at the screen for a moment, her stomach twisting like it always does when she thinks about how much she’s keeping from him. He thinks she picked up an extra night cleaning shift at the country club since that’s what she told him. He has no idea that while he’s crashing at the chateau, she’s slipping into heels and stepping onto a stage under flashing neon lights. She locks her phone, pushing the thought away. 

Guilt won’t pay the bills.

“Busy night, you think?”

She spoke as she ignored the message, flipping the phone over and looking back at the girl next to her. Bambi gave a lazy stretch, rolling out her shoulders. 

“Always is on a Friday. High rollers’ll be in. You might get lucky.”

“Yeah, real lucky.”

Y/N scoffed, grabbing her perfume and spritzing it lightly over her collarbones. Bambi side-eyed her, then leaned in with a smirk. 

“Come on, Bunny. You might actually have fun tonight. If not, at least make it worth your while.”

Y/N just hummed, adjusting the strap on her heel as the familiar pulse of bass-heavy music leaked in from the club floor. The music thrums through the floor as Y/N steps out of the dressing room, the familiar pulse of bass settling into her bones. The club is alive tonight- packed booths, the bar swarmed with men flashing cash, neon strobes flickering over clinking glasses and loose laughter. Bambi walks beside her, adjusting the strap of her bra as she surveys the crowd. 

“It’s a good night,” she muses, eyes gleaming as a man waves down a waitress with a fat roll of bills in his hand. 

“Everyone’s in a generous mood hmm.”

 “Looks like it.”

Y/N hums, already spotting a few regulars scattered through the crowd. The air is thick with perfume and cologne, the scent of whiskey and something heavier and smokier lingering beneath. Girls weave through the crowd, balancing trays of drinks, draping themselves over men who let them. The DJ’s set switches, the bass rattling the room, A voice calls from near the DJ booth, and Bambi nudges Y/N with her hip, a smirk tugging at her lips as she sends her a little kiss.

“Knock ’em dead, baby.”

Y/N exhales, rolling her shoulders back as she steps into the chaos of the club. The energy is thick tonight- bodies packed around the stage, eager hands already tossing bills, the bass thrumming deep in her ribs. She grips the pole, the cool metal grounding her for a brief moment before she moves.The nerves are familiar but distant now, part of the routine; she’s used to it- the way the outside world fades the second she steps onto the platform.

Her body flows with the music, slow and teasing at first, rolling her hips as she wraps a leg around the pole and lifts herself with ease. She spins, the world blurring for a second, heels gliding effortlessly over the platform. A whistle cuts through the noise. A few more bills flutter at her feet.

She twists, sliding down with a deliberate drag before pushing herself back up, hooking her knee and arching her back; thighs squeezing the pole as she extends her body in a perfect line. The music pulses, dictating her movements- fluid and sultry. For a moment, there’s nothing but the heat of the lights and the electric charge of the crowd.

But then as she lifts her gaze mid-spin, her eyes catch on something in the far corner.

Two men in a booth, half-hidden in the dim lighting. They sit relaxed, a quiet presence amidst the chaos, yet people keep coming up to them- leaning in, hands subtly exchanging cash, small bags slipping from one palm to another. She doesn’t need to look too closely to know what’s going down. She presses her palm to the pole, as her feet hit the platform again, hips swaying slowly, her focus slipping back to the crowd in front of her, but something gnaws at her, pulling her attention back. Then, the lights shift, a quick flash of neon, just bright enough to cut through the shadows, and she sees him.

Rafe Cameron.

And he’s looking right at her.

Leaning back in the booth, one arm draped lazily over the seat, a glass of whiskey in his other hand. Her breath catches in her throat, her grip faltering just slightly as she steadies herself. But it’s too late. Her moment is stiffer now, the tension stretched between them, across the crowded room, and he’s locked in the way he watches her. Unblinking. She can’t tell what he’s thinking but she knows one thing for certain- 

He knows exactly who she is.

Y/N forces herself to keep moving, to stay in rhythm with the music despite the ice-cold feeling creeping up her spine. But it’s impossible to ignore the weight of Rafe’s stare. It lingers burning through the dim haze of the club. She glides down the pole, making sure to keep her expression smooth- indifferent. Her heart is hammering against her ribs, but no one in the audience would know it. They see only the show, the slow hypnotising sway of her hips as she lands back on the stage, the way her fingers tease at the hem of her lace bra before she moves toward the edge of the stage dropping to her knees. The song is winding down. One last arch of her back, one last deliberate sweep of her hands up her thighs before letting the final beat pulse through her body.

Applause, whistles, the sound of crisp bills hitting the stage.

She scoops up what she can as she stands, but her mind is barely there. Not when she can still feel the weight of him watching. As she steps offstage, she risks a glance toward the booth again.This time Barry is grinning, chatting with some guy in a backwards cap who’s slipping a wad of cash into his pocket. And Rafe- he’s still looking at her, Y/N’s breath catches as their eyes meet again and this time, he smirks. It’s small, almost lazy, but there’s something in it that makes her stomach flip.

Shit.

She rips her gaze away, hurrying toward the bar, barely registering the sound of heels clicking against the floor or the music thumping through the speakers. She drops her earnings into her basket at the end of the bar- before grabbing a glass of water. Her hands are steady as she lifts it, but her heart is pounding wildly. The bartender gives her a once-over as she wipes down the counter. 

“Damn, Bunny- y'look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“You have no idea.”

Y/N exhales, pressing the cold glass to her lips. Her eyes drift back to Rafe before she can stop herself. He’s talking to someone else now, some guy in a backward cap, shaking his hand as something small and discreet trades between them-

Fucking hell.

She jumps at the sudden touch on her arm, nearly spilling her drink. Whipping around, she exhales sharply when she sees who it is.

“Jesus, Tommy.”

“What’s up with you?”

“Nothing- It’s nothing.”

She responds as she shakes her head slightly, Tommy doesn’t look convinced, but he lets it slide.

“Someone put in a request for you.”

“Who?”

Y/N wipes her palm against her thigh, trying to shake the uneasy feeling creeping up her spine. Tommy leans in slightly, his voice calling out over the music as his head nods in the direction she was just looking. 

“Rafe Cameron.”

Y/N freezes and Tommy notices her stiff shoulders instantly. 

“Something I should know about?”

“Um… I think he and his friend are selling coke-”

“—I know” 

Tommy says easily as he picks up one of the clean empty glasses on the bar, putting it away. Y/N frowns at his words. Since the first day she’d started working here, he had stated to her he had ‘zero-tolerance’ for any of the girls doing coke… so how come now, Rafe Cameron was allowed to walk in here and make this his personal dealing spot. 

“But I thought you—”

“I made a deal with them,” he shrugs, “keeps people coming in, keeps them buying drinks. Business is business Y/N.”

“Right.”

Y/N purses her lips as he speaks and Tommy studies her for a moment, then gestures towards where Rafe was sitting, once again passing over something she couldn't quite make out to a man in a white shirt. 

“I can send someone else, but you’ll lose out on the cash for the night.” 

His voice has that slight edge to it, the one that tells her he won’t be making a habit of exceptions. She hesitates. She could probably say no. She should say no. But then she thinks about the pile of bills waiting for her at home, the ones she still doesn’t know how she’s going to all pay.

“I—” She clears her throat. 

“It’s fine.”

“Good. He’s waiting.”

Y/N exhales, setting her glass down with a quiet clink and then she turns, smoothing out her hair, checking her reflection in the mirror hanging on the wall. Rafe still leaned back in one of the lounge chairs, legs spread, arm slung over the back of the seat. Barry is beside him, but he isn’t paying attention to whatever he’s saying. His eyes are already on her.

Watching. 

Waiting.

She swallows hard, ignoring the way her pulse kicks up as she straightens her shoulders and starts moving toward him. Her heels click against the floor, her movements slow and she can feel the weight of his gaze. When she finally stops in front of him, Rafe tips his head slightly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

“Hey there, Bunny.”

Y/N clenches her jaw at the sound of his voice- low and smooth, edged with amusement. She doesn’t let it show, though. Instead, she gives him the same sultry smile she’s perfected for every other man who’s sat in front of her.

“Cameron” 

She says, tilting her head slightly, letting her fingers trail lightly over her bare thigh. Rafe grins like this is all some kind of joke. Like she isn’t standing in front of him in six-inch heels and a barely-there outfit, about to dance for him like she doesn’t know exactly who he is.

"Didn’t think I’d ever see you here"

His voice is smug like he’s savouring every second of this. Y/N bites back a retort. She wants to tell him to fuck off. Wants to ask him what the fuck he’s doing here, why he put in a request for her.

But she doesn’t. 

Because she can’t.

Her fingers twitch by her side as she takes a step closer instead, smoothly moving into his space. Rafe doesn’t move back. If anything, his smirk deepens as he spreads his legs a little wider and Barry chuckles beside him, knocking back the rest of his drink before running his hand over his head. He mutters, already moving to stand.

“ 'ight I’ll leave you to it,” 

But before he can leave, Rafe shakes his head, a smirk pulling at his lips,

"No, no—stay man."

Y/N’s stomach twists. She doesn’t want an audience, especially not Barry, she doesn't even want to be doing this in the first place. The club is still packed, neon lights flickering across the space. There are men scattered around, girls in their laps, some whispering things in their ears that’ll have them reaching for their wallets without hesitation. Y/N has done this a hundred times now. She knows the drill.

But this- this is different.

She inhales slowly as she notices Barry sitting back in his seat, eyes racking over her body and she has to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. She hesitant, her inner conflict gnawing at her mind but eventually she lets out a small breath a moves forward, swinging a leg over Rafe’s lap, lowering herself onto his thighs, moving her hips in a way that’s meant to tease. She lets her hands trail up his chest in a way that’s meant to be practiced and seductive. But then- his hand comes to rest on her hip.

Her whole body tenses.

Rafe notices. Of course he does. His thumb presses against the curve of her hip, just enough to make her teeth clench. Y/N forces a tight-lipped smile, shifting on his lap just enough to make it look like part of the dance- but really, it’s an attempt to put space between them. Her voice stays low, sharp beneath the sultry act.

"There’s a no-touching policy."

Rafe’s smirk doesn’t falter. If anything, it deepens. His fingers stay right where they are, his grip on her hip solid, unmoving. He tilts his head slightly, blue eyes gleaming with something threatening.

"None of the policies here apply to me, Maybank."

He speaks out as his finger slips under the strap of her black thong, tugging on it and letting it snap back into position, the feeling causing a sharp sting on her skin. The way he says her last name- it’s teasing, taunting. Like he enjoys the way it sounds in his mouth and Y/N can’t help but clench her jaw at the thought, heat creeping up her neck.bShe doesn’t let her movements falter though, even as his words sink into her skin like a slow-burning ember. Her ass grinds down onto his lap intone with the song blaring out through teh clubs speakers, her fingers trailing over his shoulders, a practiced motion, a distraction- for herself more than for him.

“That so?”

She murmurs, voice light, teasing, playing into the role she’s supposed to be in. Rafe lets out a quiet hum, his thumb stroking over the thin fabric of her outfit.

“Mhm. I don’t think Tommy would wanna lose his best customers, do you?”

She bites down on the inside of her cheek at his words but th rhythmic roll of her hips never stops. She knows he' s pushing her.

It’s in his nature.

Barry lets out a low whistle from his seat which is followed by a chuckle. Her eye's drift over to him sitting his legs spread wide as he takes lazy sips from his drink.

“Damn didn’t peg you for this line of work Maybank. Not that I’m complainin’.”

Her spine stiffens, at she meets his eye's- yet she refuses to give them the satisfaction of leaving before the song is finished. Her focus shifts to Rafe, on the smug expression he wears as he watches her, like he’s got all the time in the world.

Like he’s enjoying this far too much.

Y/N exhales sharply through her nose. He’s trying to get under her skin. And it’s working. Rafe grins, his grip on her hips unwavering he taunts, his other hand sliding down to her thigh, drifting awfully close to her inner thigh as he tilts his head slightly.

“What’s the matter huh? You dance for all these guys, but you’re nervous around me?”

The song drags on, seconds feeling like minutes. Her body moves on instinct, performing for him, back arching as she struggles not to unravel under his gaze. And then, just as she starts to think she can get through this without losing it- he leans in. His breath fans against her ear as he speaks, voice just low enough for only her to hear.

“Wonder what your brother would think if he saw you like this.”

His voice is casual, but there’s something sharp behind it, something that makes her stomach twist. Her jaw tightens.

“That’s none of your business.”

“Just seems like something he’d wanna know,”

Rafe doesn’t even acknowledge her as she speaks, his full attention locked onto the way her hips are still grinding against him. He muses, tilting his head.

“Bet he thinks you’re a little cleaner or somethin' huh?”

Her pulse thrums in her ears, but she doesn’t let it show. Rafe’s smirk deepens, catching the movement. His fingers drum now against her knee.

“Relax, Y/N. I’m just making conversation.”

“Yeah? Funny, doesn’t feel like that.”

She scoffs under her breath. He hums, tilting his head as he takes her in, eyes darting down from her face. Her stomach knots, but she refuses to cower under his gaze. Instead, she leans in just enough that only he can hear her. “You know,” she murmurs, voice dripping with saccharine sweetness,

“most guys just pay and keep their mouths shut.”

Rafe tutted, a slow, mocking sound, then, before she can react, Rafe casually plucks a few crisp fifty-dollar bills from the stack in front of him. His fingers ghost along the curve of her waist before he shoves them right between her pushed up tits, tucking the money into her bra. Heat rushes to her face- not from embarrassment, but from the pure, seething hatred bubbling up inside her. Her jaw tightens, and she shoots him a glare so sharp it could cut glass. Barry, watching the whole thing unfold, bursts into laughter, slapping his knee like it’s the funniest thing he’s seen all night.

“Country Club” he wheezes, “she gon' kill you man”

“Nah,” he drawls, eyes flicking up to hers.

“She likes it.”

Rafe just smirks, leaning back lazily in his seat and she scoffs, the sound sharp and dripping with disgust, before snatching the money from between her tits and throwing it straight at him. The crisp bills flutter uselessly against his chest before falling into his lap, but she doesn’t care.

She doesn’t want his money- doesn’t want anything from him.

She shifts to push off his lap, to put distance between them, but Rafe moves faster. His hand snaps around her wrist in an iron grip, yanking her back down before she can escape. A sharp gasp slips from her lips as she stumbles into him, her free hand landing against his chest to steady herself.

He’s close now.

Too close.

Rafe’s smirk fades slightly, replaced by something more irritated as he stares up at her. His fingers tighten around her wrist, his grip just bordering on painful, a silent warning.

“I’d be real careful, Bunny”

Rafe murmurs, his voice low and laced with something that makes her stomach uneasy. Her breath catches, but she refuses to look away, her glare burning into him. He tilts his head slightly, his smirk creeping back as he studies her reaction.

“You wouldn’t want your brother to hear about this little conversation, would you?”

The words hang heavy between them, and she swallows hard, her pulse hammering. Y/N sits there, her body tense, her expression carved from pure, unfiltered hatred. Every fiber of her being screams at her to move, to slap that smug look off his face, but she doesn’t. Because if Rafe tells JJ… she doesn’t know what she’d do.

He watches her, sharp and calculating, before plucking the discarded money from his lap. He folds the crisp bills between his fingers in half, before bringing them up to her face. His eyes stay locked on hers, and his lips curl into that insufferable smirk.

“Open up”

He murmurs, voice taunting but firm. Her jaw clenches and she doesn’t move. Amusement flickers in his gaze, but there’s something else there too- something that tells her that she'd not got much choice now. He lifts a brow, daring her to defy him and she hates herself for it, but after a long, thick moment of silence, she slowly parts her lips. Rafe hums in satisfaction, slipping the folded-up bills between her teeth.

“Atta girl”

He muses as she bites down, his fingers lingering just a second longer than necessary before he pulls away. He leans back lazily in his seat, studying her with open amusement, eyes flicking between the money in her mouth and the fire still burning in her gaze. She can tell he’s so fucking satisfied. The song finally comes to an end, the heavy bass fading into the low murmur of conversation and clinking glasses. The second the last note plays and a new one begins, she jerks her wrist free from his grasp, ripping her hand away like his touch burns her.

Her mind is racing- anger, humiliation, and something else she doesn’t want to name all tangling together in a storm inside her chest. She stands abruptly, plucking the money from between her lips with two fingers like it’s tainted. Without even sparing him a glance, she turns on her heel, ready to put as much distance between herself and Rafe Cameron as possible.

But then- she feels it.

The sharp smack lands right on her ass, firm and unapologetic. A small gasp passes her lips and the audacity of it sends white-hot anger surging through her veins, and she whips around so fast her hair nearly follows the motion. Barry is already laughing, a deep, wheezing sound, blowing out a thick puff of smoke as he watches the scene unfold like it’s the best entertainment of the night.

And Rafe?

Rafe just grins up at her, infuriatingly relaxed, his expression unreadable save for the smug amusement dancing in his eyes. Then, as if he hadn't already done enough, he puckers his lips, blowing her a lazy, taunting little kiss to her. She stares at him, disgust and fury twisting in her chest, her fists clenching at her sides- heart thumping heavily in her chest as she becomes certain of one thing.

She’s never hated anyone more in her life.

taglist: @xoxosblogsblog @moonywhisp3rs @i-love-gvf @my-name-is-baby @ltristessedureratoujours @stoned-writer @mariamadison6-blog @rafecameronswhoore @lovelytoomusic @rafesgurl @mysticbby2009 @vanessa-rafesgirl @silkenthusiasts @partygirl14 @amterasuu @xoxo-ada @icaqttt @willowpains @ivysprophecy @mauvesmax @larema121 @ggraycelynn

[vampiriito]

Summer was my first love (JJ Maybank x shy! kook! reader)

A/N: Hi loves! this is my first fic and i just wanna let you know that I'm open to any criticism, but i want you to be able to nice at the same time. This is inspired by my favorite author on here the lovely @featherandferns, her fic daylight was so good and i read all the parts in less than 2 hours. With that being said the plot is completely different but i recommend checking out her works too because she's very talented! this might be a bit long, i wanted to write a slow-burn. Let me know if i managed to do that (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Summary: After getting locked into a closet with a kook girl, JJ Maybank comes to the realization that his animosity towards the spoilt people living on Figure Eight doesn't have to apply to every single one of them.

"Fuck! Seriously?" JJ Maybank's blue eyes meet yours through the frame of your glasses as he sneers at the door which was now shut. Leaving you both stuck together in this small cramped closet. If you weren't panicked cause of the claustrophobic tendencies of your stupid brain, you definitely were now.

You were alone with your 3rd grade crush, and he had no idea, you were a kook, (which he hated,) and one hell of a wallflower person. You've been watching him from a far since you were 9, and it got a little weirder once you could walk around freely and just... take pictures with your camera as your hobby flourished. You were now, glancing shyly between the door and his face, 'he's probably feeling weird being stuck in here with a complete stranger.' you thought to your self, making sure to stick to your corner of the closet.

"What’s your name?" He demanded, his arms crossing over his chest as he leaned against the wall, his eyes flicking over you, studying you. Of course, he would ask that right away, JJ could be direct and kind of an ass most days. And he felt like if he wasn't gonna ask, you weren't gonna speak up first.

Of course he didn't know your name, he wasn't bordering on creepy stalker most days like you were in your free time. Across these years you managed to gather a lot on JJ surprisingly, being quiet and so reserved got you very far, going almost invisible when you went out. It didn't help you were a shutterbug, always taking pictures and people watching, "Y/n.." you responded softly and weakly, adjusting your glasses.

He raised an eyebrow, studying your face for a moment. That name sounded familiar, he could swear he'd heard it before somewhere, the only question was where.

"You're a kook, huh? I should have known." He grumbles, running a hand through his messy dirty blonde hair. You looked so.... soft, and it somehow made him scoff. He hated your kind more often than not, and here he was, stuck in a closet with one.

You nodded, frowning gently. You were aware of his hate and animosity towards the people living on figure 8, but you weren't exactly the picture perfect image of a snarky preppy kook girl. Or so you liked to think anyway.. He looked even more beautiful up close, more defined than what you usually saw through your camera lenses when photographing him. 'Suddenly i feel like a creep being here..' you thought, playing with the hem of your baggy sweater.

His eyes flicked down to your hands as you fidgeted with your sweater, his lips curling up into a subtle smirk. 'How can someone be so shy?' he thought to himself, wondering why you were so nervous.

"You look like you've never talked to a human before." He comments, letting out a soft scoff, and you flinch gently, your eyes snapping up to meet his. He noticed this and his smirk grew a little wider, enjoying that he was able to fluster you.

That's the most JJ thing he could say to someone like you. "i.. well, i don't talk usually." you face palmed internally at the way your words came out. You had the chance to come off as something you weren't given he didn't know you, and you weren't doing a very good job at it. You could've faked being confident and charm him, yet here you were talking like you never had anything to eat in your life.

He lets out a soft scoff as he watches you stumble over your words. There was something he found so weird about you, you were so… different from everyone he encountered on a daily basis. You were shy, quiet, and awkward, not like the sarcastic and arrogant persona that most kooks had. But, he tried to shake the thoughts away, he didn't need to be thinking about you this way, of all people.

"I can tell.." he responds, his accent ringing through slightly as his smirk turned into a slight frown.

There was an awkward silence that fell over the two of you in the cramped closet, the music that played throughout the party muffled by the thick walls. JJ glanced around for a moment, almost bored before his gaze settled back on you. His blue eyes studying you intently, trying to figure you out. The frown on his face remained, 'Why are you so shy?' he thought to himself, biting his tongue before he continued.

"What are you even doing here anyway? You don't seem like the type to be at a party.."

'Got dragged against my will by my very loud and obnoxious best friend here...' you thought to your self, the thought amusing you but of course not letting that mirror on your expression, "I'm sorry?" 'what? dumbass..' you scolded your self mentally. The question was loud and clear.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked you up and down for a moment, wondering if you always spoke in a quiet and awkward way, or if it was just because you were in a small, dark, and very cramped closet with a stranger.

"You heard me. I doubt you'd normally come to a party like this." He repeated, his frown returning to a small smirk as he pushed off the wall to take a hesitant step towards you.

Again, such a JJ thing to say. Your stomach jumped as he took a small step towards you, suppressing the urge to shift awkwardly. All you needed now was to look more awkward than you already were, you acted and sounded like a pathetic dumbass, in front of your childhood crush nonetheless. "i just ended up here.."

He took a few more steps until he stood a few feet away from you. He was towering over you, his 6’1 height compared to your, what he could only guess, 5.2 or 5.3 height. He had to admit, in some weird way, it was amusing being able to fluster you so easily. That was until he noticed there was nowhere really for you to go. The walls of the small closet caged you in, he was blocking your way out of the closet, unless you tried to push him out of the way.

He was quiet for a moment, just studying you as a small smirk returned to his face.

"There's nowhere for you to go.." he teased, taking another step closer, closing the gap between the two of you even more. He noticed you shiver gently and took note of it.

"Are you usually this weird with strangers?" you found yourself asking, surprising even yourself after the words left your mouth. 'caging me in like this wouldn't create a good first impression... he's just lucky I've been in love with him since i was 9.' you thought.

This time it was his turn to be surprised. He was definitely not expecting you to say something so blunt, you were full of surprises. He chuckled softly, taking another small step forward, effectively caging you against the wall. His smirk grew into a wide smile, his eyes studying you intently as he spoke.

"Only when I get stuck in a small crowded closet with them." He was now only a few inches away from you, his eyes studying your face. He was so close, you could take in some of his scent, which somehow matched perfectly with his personality. A mix of weed and the smell of the ocean and sunscreen. You could also now see little details in his face, like his freckled cheeks, and his jawline that looked hard enough to cut glass.

Being able to smell him was a pleasant feeling as weird as that sounded, his scent matching with the way he was completely. The small freckles scattered over his soft skin made you want to be able to take mental photographs. He looked breathtaking up close, even in the dim light of the closet. Like he was some kind of modern day demigod or some bullshit. You hummed gently, turning your body towards the door to try the door weakly, your hand wrapping around the door handle and shaking it with little to no force to actually get it open.

He chuckled at the sad attempt you made of trying to open the door, "It ain't going to open, believe me, I've already tried that." He said, his voice almost a murmur as he leaned against one of the walls of the closet, watching you struggle with the door. His eyes slowly traveled down from your face, down to your hips and to your beat up vans. Strange, he thought. He'd expect someone of your social status to have more expensive looking threads and shoes. Not like a librarian on vacation.

You side glanced up at him, adjusting your glasses. You felt absolutely wrecked, nerves and claustrophobia tugging at your sensitive stomach, it didn't help this closet was dimly lit and smelled like mold. 'What a great setting to interact in for the first time..' you thought bitterly, leaning your back against the wall opposite him.

He kept his eyes on your hips, letting his gaze rake over your body. He felt a weird and small pang of sympathy for you. You looked so small against the wall, and you looked like you were ready to jump out of your skin any moment now. It was different than when he usually had the unfortunate chance of speaking with a kook kid.

"Are you scared of small spaces or somethin' ?" He asked, his voice softer than usual as he spoke.

You nodded mutely in response, your expression probably resembling that of a deer in front of a truck. Sometimes you forgot JJ's voice carried a southern drawl to it, given he never spoke to you. You would hear him when he'd pass you in the school halls while talking to his friends animatedly or when he'd say something snarky in class to the teacher, his voice never directed towards you.

When you nodded, he mentally groaned. That was his luck. He ended up being stuck in here with a kook that was also terrified of small spaces. He let out a sigh, he would have to try and find a way to calm you down, since he was now stuck in this closet with you until whenever someone decided to let them out.

"How in the hell did you even manage to get yourself into a situation like this..?" He questioned, running a hand through his messy blonde hair.

You were asking yourself that question too, but i guess being so easy to push around wasn't really helping your case here. Truth was you were just a collateral victim of a prank which was meant for JJ, getting pushed into the small closet by mistake or just to make it worse for him by locking him up with a complete stranger.

You shook your head shrugging, chewing on your bottom lip nervously. You knew you had to say something, actual words at one point but your mind came up blank. Or your mouth wasn't able to say them out loud.

He let out another soft scoff, knowing deep down this was no accident. Some of his pogue buddies probably set this up just to screw around with him. Although, you didn't seem to know that. You looked genuinely clueless.

"My friends probably did this on purpose..."

He muttered, leaning against the opposite wall to you. He wasn't happy about this situation, especially not being locked in here with a girl for what could be hours. Which he would usually be elated about. But seeing you barely talked or moved, seemingly scared of loud sounds and sudden movements like a small animal, he was aware you weren't gonna makeout any time soon.

He looked you over again, his eyes roaming over your small and fidgety figure. In some weird way, he kind of felt bad for you. You looked so nervous and uncomfortable being stuffed in this dumb closet, and you looked like you didn't belong at this party in the first place.

"What were you even doing here anyway?... this ain't exactly a place a shy girl like you would go on your own free will..." he echoed the question once again, the curiosity and desire to fill the silence stronger than the fact that you were strangers.

"That's because it wasn't my own free will.." you spoke up in minutes of being almost completely silent, your voice small and weak.

He was both surprised and not surprised at your answer. He was surprised that you answered so quickly, but he could have guessed this wasn't your idea.

"Let me guess... one of your loud and obnoxious friends dragged you out here to try and get you to 'have fun'?"

Bingo! You nodded silently again, your eyes darting around his face taking in every detail, hopefully being able to recall every single one of them to draw or paint later.

He grumbled something under his breath. He knew it. From his experience, kooks were always so loud and overbearing. It was what he hated most about them, and yet, you didn't seem like that kind of girl at all... you were quiet and soft spoken, something he hadn't seen in a kook girl since... well, never really. "Figures.. can you not say no to them or somethin’ ?"

You stared at him silently, blinking as you raked your brain for what to say, your eyes narrowed just a hint. You were aware he usually spoke a lot but not this much. Or you were too quiet. You were also way too nervous to speak or think properly, having your lifetime crush speaking to you, like actually.

He was watching you intently, taking note of the expressions that flashed on your face as you tried to come up with an answer. You were obviously nervous, he didn't need to be a mind reader to know that. And there was something else about you... something he couldn't place his finger on. It was weird.

"You look like you're gonna pass out or something..." He commented, watching you closely.

You shook your head 'no', reaching to try the door again. You suddenly didn't feel so lucky you got this rare chance to speak and admire JJ shamelessly given you were stuck in a closet together. You were anxious and feeling like he could see right through you, see all the weird tendencies you had and judge you for being so pathetically in love with him for so long.

He chuckled softly as you tried to open the door, again and again. It honestly reminded him of a small animal trapped in a cage, frantically looking for a way out. Something about the way you were acting amused him. "There ain't no point trying to open it again, trust me, it's stuck good..."

JJ could tell you were anxious, and it was easy to guess why. It was probably terrifying being stuck in a small, dark, cramped closet with him of all people. And judging by how quiet and shy you were, this was probably one of the hardest social interactions you ever had.

"Jesus... can you even speak a full sentence?" He piped up after another few seconds of silence, his smirk returning to his face as he watched you struggle against the door.

You looked to the side, a small frown making its way on your face at his question. 'Not when you're so close to me that i can smell the sea salt water in your hair.' you groaned internally, still silent. You kept your eyes locked with his in the almost dark closet, scolding yourself for not being able to handle social interactions like normal people.

JJ's smirk widened at your expression, you looked like a kicked puppy, it was almost cute. He stood up straight, lazily pushing himself off the wall and slowly making his way towards you. When he was a few steps away from you, he stopped, looking you up and down with a hint of mockery.

"You're a real quiet thing, ain't ya?"

With a few more confident steps, he was now standing just in front of you, leaning his shoulder against the wall. He looked down at you again, his smirk still present on his face. You could almost feel the heat radiating off his body, him being so close. His ocean like scent mixed with the weed smell, filling the closet and making it even harder to breathe than it already was in here.

"You afraid of me or somethin'? "

"No.." your voice rung out without missing a beat this time, a soft and gentle sound as you frowned to your self. You were probably one of the few people who wasn't afraid of JJ. Years of following him from a distance and watching him closely took away the fear factor. If anything he'd probably be afraid of you.

JJ let out a quiet scoff at your answer, an odd response. He had expected you to be as afraid of him given the way you were acting. You were clearly nervous being in a small, dark, and cramped space with a man, yet you weren't afraid of him or his presence.

"You're an odd one then.." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, taking in your small, timid figure.

He was a few inches away from you, towering over your small frame. Being this close to you, he could see more details in your face. How your eyes were framed with small dark eyelashes behind your glasses, how your skin was unnaturally smooth and soft looking, and how your lips looked almost velvety, almost as if they were made of silk. In addition to that, your scent filled his nose now, mixing with his own and the smell of the closet. You actually smelled very good... which definitely wasn't something weird to be thinking. JJ found himself lost in thought the more he looked at you. You looked so... tender and yet the way you were acting, so nervous and small, you looked like a spooked stray dog. It didn't add up in his head, you were probably the first kook girl he had ever met that acted this way, it was making him curious. Just as he opened his mouth to ask something, a loud banging noise echoed from the other side of the door, making you jump slightly, surprised by the sudden sound.

The whole silent staring contest you both had going on was interrupted by a loud sound from the other side of the closet door, almost startling you to death given you were so focused on how beautiful JJ's eyes looked while he studied you intently. You sighed, squeezing your eyes shut for a second, adjusting your glasses and grimacing to yourself.

The sudden sound made JJ roll his eyes, whoever was on the other side of the door was clearly trying to be annoying.

"Oh come on..."

he grumbled, annoyed already by the person who was trying to interrupt. Before he could say anything else, the banging continued once again, this time twice as loud as before, making him grumble another curse underneath his breath. He was beyond annoyed now, a small scowl forming on his face at the constant knocking. He turned around, staring at the small closet door, his hands on his hips as he waited for the knocking again. He was about to say something, but just then, the door was suddenly swung open, making him nearly jump out of his skin.

He let out a surprised noise as he stumbled forward, nearly collapsing to the ground, but he managed to catch himself just at the last moment by grabbing the nearest thing which happened to be the closet wall, next to your head. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest, he was breathing heavily, the unexpected event nearly giving him a heart attack. After a few moments he slowly looked up, turning his head to see who had opened the door.

To say he looked surprised would be an understatement. Standing in front of him was none other than one of his pogue buddies, John B, who was smiling and laughing like this was the most fun he had in forever as he looked down at JJ. JJ quickly managed to regain his composure, standing up straight before speaking up:

"Are you tryin' to give me a damn heart attack, John B?"

You were just as startled as JJ was, for a second time in less than 2 minutes nonetheless. Your gaze shifted from looking up at JJ's side profile to the boy standing in the door way of the closet. John B, JJ's best friend since forever, someone you also saw on a daily basis while doing your... usual checking up on JJ. John B also probably didn't know who you were, and you wouldn't be surprised even in the slightest.

John B looked between you and JJ, a smirk slowly forming on his face as his eyes landed on the proximity between the two of them. John B leaned against the door frame, his arms folded over his chest as he spoke up, a hint of mockery in his tone. "Seems like you got yourself into a situation, huh JJ?"

JJ's eyes narrowed at his best friends tone, he immediately knew what he was implying. He shot him a small glare before speaking up, a hint of annoyance in his voice

"Can it, John B... it ain't what it looks like."

John B chuckled at his response, he clearly didn't believe JJ given the awkward and somewhat embarrassing situation the two of you were in. "It sure looks like it though. Locked up in a closet together, all alone. You two got up to anything in here?"

Your eyes darted between the 2 best friends, adjusting your glasses as your gaze landed on John B, his teasing words making your face heat up. The implication of getting up to anything with JJ was enough to probably give 9 year old you a aneurysm, "Excuse me?" you spoke up, trying to sound irritated at his words although you sounded so weak and shy you regretted speaking instantly.

John B chuckled again at your response, clearly enjoying making you both uncomfortable. The way you spoke was so quiet and awkward, it was almost laughable. JJ continued to glare at him, trying to non-verbally tell his friend to shut his damn mouth, but it obviously wasn't working.

"Oh... I see, there's a voice under there, huh? You sound like a damn mouse, girl.. can you speak louder than a whisper?"

He continued to smirk at you, now mocking the softness of your voice. JJ grimaced at what John B had just told you, a pang of guilt suddenly shooting through his chest. He didn't like the way John B was talking to you, in fact, he was getting a little mad that he was being so rude.

"She ain't gotta speak louder. Leave her alone." JJ spoke up, glaring at his friend once again, finding himself defending this stranger.

You looked down, scowling to yourself at his question, now definitely not speaking another word for the rest of the conversation, knowing you'd just slip away once they were distracted. Your finger pushed the frame of your glasses up and down, your eyes fixed on your beat up sneakers. This was certainly one hell of a first impression.

John B held his hands up in mock surrender, clearly enjoying the fact that he was getting both you and JJ annoyed. "Relax man, I was just messing with the poor mouse."

He joked, his eyes still on you, now watching your fiddling. JJ just scowled at him again, silently debating punching his friend square in the nose. The fact that he was making fun of you was bothering him more than it should. He was used to his friend making stupid jokes and being a dick, but he couldn't stand the thought of him mocking you, especially since you were acting nothing but polite and shy.

Mouse? you could see the resemblance i guess, with the small one word answers which sounded like small squeaks from the anxiety. Still, John B was being kind of a dick at the moment which caused your frown to deepen as you debated just making a run for it and disappearing.

John B chuckled quietly, not taking his eyes off you as you fiddled with your glasses. He knew he was being a dick, but he was just enjoying it too much. He suddenly had an idea in his mind, a way to further piss off JJ. With a sly smirk on his face, he spoke again, this time, directed solely at you, ignoring JJ completely. "So, mouse, what's your name?"

'Seriously? neither of them know my name?' you groaned internally, looking up to lock eyes with John B nervously. In moments like these you wished you had at least a bit of semblance of a back bone, and not just clam up like a dumbass, "Y/n.." you answered simply, your expression twitching slightly from having to repeat your name once again. You wanted to roll your eyes in annoyance so badly.

There was something about the way you said your name that made JJ's heart stutter in a way it never had before. It sounded almost magical coming out of your small lips, it was so... mellow, and yet so beautiful. John B's smile widened at your answer, obviously not expecting to get an actual answer and a name at that.

"Huh... nice name. Suits you." He said, his eyes roaming over you again, studying your face to figure out if he knew you or not. He came up blank, probably due to being tipsy.

JJ continued to stay silent, watching the interaction between his best friend and you. He was feeling a weird mix of anger and curiosity as he watched. You looked so much more fragile and unthreatening than he had thought. You were like a small cat, a cute but easily spooked cat. Or maybe a mouse, he wasn't sure which.

You felt awkward suddenly, the 3 of you going silent save from the music coming from downstairs after John B's comment about your name. You looked between them momentarily before stepping forward shyly to signal John B to move out the way so you could escape this weird and sufficiently awkward situation at once.

John B chuckled again as you stepped forward, his eyes following your every move. But just as you were about to slip out of the closet, he suddenly reached a hand out, blocking your way.

"Where do you think you're going, mouse?"

JJ furrowed his eyebrows at his friend's behaviour, he knew exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to annoy both of you, as well as prevent you from getting away. JJ had had just about enough

"Okay, that's enough John B. Don't you think you've teased the poor girl enough?"

John B sighed dramatically, pouting at JJ's annoyed response. He took a small step back, opening up the doorway once again "You're no fun. I was just having a little fun. Don't take it so seriously, JJ."

As much you enjoyed being in JJ's presence you hated social interactions and you wanted to just find your best friend to tell her that this was a bad idea and you should just skate home. So you took a final glance at JJ, before stepping out of the small cramped closet when John B removed his arm which was blocking your way hesitantly. But stepping out wasn't any better cause you were met with the party, still in full throttle, the music making your head feel weird, weirder than being stuck in a moldy closet with your childhood crush. There were less people on the floor you were on, but it was still crowded enough by drunken couples and some rowdy friend groups to make you feel anxious. This was most definitely a bad idea.

JJ watched you step out of the closet, a small pang of guilt shooting through his chest from knowing you were uncomfortable but now having no way to help the situation. He shot a glare at John B for the 10th time in the last 5 minutes through the doorway, silently warning his friend once again.

"You're a damn dick man. Why did you feel the need to be so rude to her?"

John B just shrugged, looking back at JJ with a sly smile as he replied "Because I thought it would be funny. Besides, I didn't think she'd answer me. I thought she was mute or something."

JJ grimaced, of course John B would find making fun of the shyest person he had ever met, fun. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning quietly. He took a deep breath before speaking up again:

"You really can be an annoying bastard, you know that? Sometimes i wonder how you even manage to speak with girls.."

You weaved through the mass of people at the house party, bumping into couples getting busy and grimacing in apology, trying not to stumble over your feet in the cramped space on the staircase. You quickly descended down the stairs, looking for your friend Maisy, to scold her for bringing you here in the first place. Suddenly, a hand on your shoulder stopped you in your tracks. A hand that you recognized, and yet dreaded at the same time. JJ had followed you, and was now stood next to you at the bottom of the stairs.

He gently grabbed your hand, stopping you from walking away. His hand was calloused and rough from years of surfing, yet warm. He spoke up, trying to get your attention over the loud R&B music blaring from the speakers. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

You tensed up from the sudden contact and because well, you thought someone else was grabbing you to pull yet another dumb prank on you, not expecting JJ to follow you and try to talk to you. You shook your head 'no' because as much as you wanted to spend time with him, you knew you'd just clam up and make it weird because this was JJ and you were you.

He noticed how tense you suddenly became once his hand touched you, he couldn't help but silently worry in his head. He wanted to sigh at your immediate response of shaking your head no, but he decided to persist a little more despite not having any reason to:

"Please? I promise I won't make fun of you or anything. I just wanna talk."

"Well, i need to find my friend." you find yourself speaking, although you weren't sure if he heard you over the music or the myriad of sounds and things going on in this house. Really, it was surprising how the neighbors hadn't called the police yet.

JJ leaned closer to you, trying to hear your soft spoken words. He could just barely make out what you had said, but he heard it enough. He looked around for a moment, searching for your friend but not seeing them anywhere in the crowd. But it was a given, since he didn't even know who he was looking for. "Where is your friend? I'll help you look for them."

You shrugged, because you had the same question. Where the hell was Maisy anyway? she disappeared and expected you to what? have fun and party? as if you could do that. Your eyes were fixed on JJ's face, the one you knew and loved through the years, anxiously shifting on your feet at the feel of his big hand still wrapped around your wrist, stopping you from scurrying away.

JJ could sense your anxiousness, he could practically feel the anxious energy coming off your small frame. He subconsciously let his thumb slowly and gently caress your wrist, an attempt to somehow soothe you, even if only slightly. He didn’t like seeing you so anxious.

He suddenly realized that he was still holding your arm, gently keeping you by his side and preventing you from slipping away in the chaos of the house party. He had forgotten in the moment. He looked down at his hand on your arm, "Maybe they went outside.."

You could call her! yeah, you could do that... but what if big mouth Maisy actually showed up and saw JJ Maybank, the dude you had been crushing on since you were a 3rd grader, holding your wrist and actually speaking to you? She'll make this awkward and run her mouth, possibly getting you rejected at the same time. So, you thought it was best to just let him speak to you and then leave you to look for her alone. "What do you wanna talk about with me?" you asked, still quietly, hoping and praying he'd hear you and that you didn't come off as rude.

JJ was a little surprised at the fact that you still stayed by his side after he suggested looking for your friend. He honestly thought you would run off. He mentally shrugged, taking the opportunity to talk to you even more. He turned slightly to look down at you as you spoke, leaning forward to hear you better.

His heart skipped a beat as he heard your quiet voice. That same feeling of both guilt and curiosity ran through him again. How could one voice be so soft and quiet, yet so beautiful at the same time? The thought confused and intrigued him.

He took a moment to register that you had asked him a question, the shock of you actually talking to him making his brain fry for a second or two. He quickly brought himself back to reality, realising that he had to reply.

"I just wanted to apologize. About John B i mean, he's a massive dick, no doubt about that. I told him off.."

"It's okay.." you mumbled smiling slightly, adjusting your glasses with the hand that wasn't in JJ's grip. You actually managed to hold the conversation normally, albeit you were still squeaking out your words.

JJ's eyebrows raised at your smile, his eyes widening slightly. He wasn't expecting you to smile as an answer to his apology, it was the last reaction he had expected. And yet, it was a welcome one. It made him feel better, deep down he felt guilty for his friend's behavior.

He stared at you for another moment, the hand he was using to hold your wrist moving once again, his thumb still slowly caressing your skin. He hadn't even noticed he was doing it this time.

JJ quickly snapped out of the little trance and cleared his throat, speaking up again. He didn’t want to make things weird and freak you out. He could feel John B’s eyes on him, he knew the bastard was watching him from the top of the stairs and silently giggling about the whole thing. He pushed down his annoyance, his eyes moving away from your face and around the room, looking at the other people gathered around them. "You said this party was your friend’s idea, right?"

You nodded silently, glancing around the room for your stupid best friend. You were gonna kill Maisy for disappearing on you like this, especially at a party of this calibre. You tried to ignore how JJ was still holding onto your wrist, now rubbing his thumb over your skin to probably soothe you. It made you feel more nervous and anxious, the urge to bolt even more strong now. You didn't wanna mess it up and make it awkward or worse come off as a creep by staring at him or saying something stupid, although the last part was impossible given you barely spoke.

JJ bit the inside of his cheek as you silently nodded back to his question. He was starting to realize how hard you were to talk to, how shy you were. It made him feel bad. He found himself wishing that he could just hear your voice just a little louder. It was so gentle. It made him want to hear more of it, but he had no idea how to get you to speak more without making you uncomfortable.

He quickly stopped himself from thinking any further, realizing that he was starting to sound like a creep in his own head.

They stood there silently for a couple more seconds, as JJ desperately tried to think of something to say to break the silence without making things weird. He could still feel John B’s eyes on him, silently watching the whole situation and probably having the time of his life.

"So...how come I've never seen you around at school before? "

He tried, even though he knew the answer. He just needed to get you talking.

Ouch. You saw him at school all the time, even took routes around the school just to get to pass by him in the halls and hear him talk so loudly to his friends and laugh. So the question stung a little. You looked up at him, shrugging your shoulders, narrowing your eyes and blinking a couple of times, your brain desperately trying to just block out the sound of the music which was making your lungs feel like they were being shaken up.

JJ mentally cringed as he saw the slightly hurt look in your eyes, he regretted his choice of question immediately. Stupid. Of course you were at school, he saw you at school, he just never seen you with anyone.

He winced as he heard that music change to something even louder. The constant music was starting to grate his nerves.

"Can we go outside for a second? I can't even freaking hear myself think in here."

Your brows furrowed, considering his suggestion. It was a good idea, you could call Maisy, maybe have a cigarette too and let your ears get a break from this loud music blaring in them. So you nodded hesitantly, glancing around one last time in case you magically spotted your best friend.

JJ let out a breath of relief when you nodded your head in agreement. He was glad he didn’t have to try and shout over the music anymore. He turned, pulling gently on your wrist to lead you toward the front door. He weaved through people, avoiding getting into conversations. He was determined to get you alone outside so he could talk to you.

Finally, they made it outside. JJ released your wrist as they reached the front door. He took a deep breath, enjoying the sudden lack of music and the relative quiet (well, aside from the still loud music coming from inside). JJ took a step away from you as he turned to face you.

"Thank god, I thought my ears were gonna bleed with that damn music in there."

'Yeah..' you agreed mentally once again, nodding with a small smile and adjusting your glasses as you stood on the porch, finally able to breathe fresh air, a stark contrast from the muted and sweaty smelling air inside. You needed to start saying words out loud, instead of just answering in your mind.

JJ leaned against the porch railing, stuffing his hands into his pockets. The air was much cooler outside, compared to the stuffy heat that was present inside.

He took a few seconds to study you as you stood across from him. The light from the porch made you look even more softer, if that was even possible. You looked so small in that moment, it made him wonder how you had managed to make it to high school.

He shook himself out of his thoughts, clearing his throat before speaking up again. He couldn’t believe that he was actually talking to you, and the fact that he hadn’t messed it up yet was a surprise to him. He didn’t want to think about how bad he would screw it up in the future.

"So uh...wanna explain why you were hiding in a closet? "

There. A question to get the conversation going. He mentally cursed himself in his head, realizing how stupid the question sounded.

"I got pushed in at the same time as you." You found the courage to speak yay! and not so shaky and quiet either. Maybe it was the fact that he thought you were just hiding in the moldy closet, like an actual mouse, which made you wanna defend yourself. That's what was missing from this situation, for him to think you were an actual dumbass who was hiding in a closet because she was afraid of party sounds.

JJ found himself chuckling, raising an eyebrow at your answer. He didn’t expect that particular answer, he was expecting you to say that you just decided to hide in the closest instead of socializing. But pushed in? He could actually believe that. "Damn. Got pushed into a closet with me? That’s gotta be some pretty shitty luck."

'I'd like to think it was kinda lucky of me to get pushed in with you, of all people...' you laughed internally. You glanced at him, tearing your eyes from the street in front of the house, narrowing your eyes at his words, but deciding to just stay silent. It was better than saying something to counter it or even worse.. to try and be funny and fail.

JJ’s eyebrows nearly raised at the sound of your small, quiet laugh. He hadn’t expected you to laugh at his joke, he was actually surprised that you had responded at all. That laugh was definitely enough to make him keep going to get that sweet, soft sound to come back.

“You know, you have a really pretty laugh..“ The sentence was out of his mouth before he could even realize it. He internally winced, hoping he hadn’t just made things weird by complimenting you. Not that he didn't compliment girls usually. If anything, that's how he managed to score in the first place. But in your case he wasn't trying to flatter you to get in your pants. He simply found you interesting.

You could feel yourself blush at his compliment, not realizing you actually laughed out-loud instead of just thinking about it in your head. You scolded yourself internally for reacting to such a casual sentence, he was just being nice after all, not asking you to marry him. "Thanks." you managed to mutter out quietly, hoping it sounded at least a tad bit grateful, and not rude and clipped.

JJ’s heart skipped a beat when he saw that adorable blush on your face. He had never seen you so expressive yet quiet at the same time since he'd met you less than an hour ago. He silently smirked to himself, now he knew how to make you blush. He mentally noted that fact down for later. The fact that you had mumbled out a simple “thanks” in response, just made everything even better for him. He would take anything you responded with, just so he could get you to keep talking and hear that angelic voice.

He shifted against the railing, his hand moving to his back pocket to pull out a pack of cigarettes. He quickly took one out, putting it between his lips. He glanced down at you as he pulled out a lighter to light the cigarette.

He held the pack out to you, silently offering you a cigarette as well. Which as he did, he realized that it wasn't really the epitome of smooth or romantic. But he already had his hand out stretched. JJ was becoming annoyed at himself for overthinking his every move, feeling like he was losing his footing on a ground he'd navigated countless times.

A small amused grimace made its way on your face despite trying to stop it, silently debating if you should take a cigarette. You pulled out your own lighter, stepping a little closer, not too much to look weird, lighting his cigarette before taking one for yourself. 'Wow.. so confident, lighting his cigarette for him.' you quipped sardonically in your head as you lit the cigarette for your self and took a long drag from it.

JJ’s eyes widened a little in surprise when you stepped closer to him, so close that you could reach out and touch him, if you wanted to. He watched you flick your lighter on, a small wave of excitement rushing through him as you held the light to his cigarette. He leaned his head forward slightly, putting the other end of the cigarette to his mouth and taking a drag. He exhaled the smoke as he watched you light your own cigarette.

He almost laughed when he saw the small grimace that came across your face.

He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes studying the features of your face. You looked so beautiful like this, in the soft light of the porch with a cigarette between your lips. It was enough for him to realize that he wanted to see you like this more - not just tonight but anytime he could.

He turned away slightly as he exhaled the smoke, trying to calm his thoughts once again. He didn’t know you and yet here he was, already getting addicted to being close to you and hearing you talk.

The cigarette was a welcome relief given the fact that you were on edge since you came to the stupid party, leaning on the railing and taking long drags to fill your lungs with the smoke, the nicotine swirling around in your brain. Here you were, smoking a cigarette casually with the guy you were pinning after for years. 3rd grade you would probably faint and break her glasses in 2 if she knew.

JJ silently watched how you exhaled the smoke that was going into your lungs. It was hypnotizing watching you do this, something about it just made him want to keep watching. It was just so oddly satisfying to watch you smoke. He knew it probably wasn’t, but he didn’t care in that moment. It was oddly pleasing in a way he couldn’t explain.

He took another drag, letting the cigarette sit between his lips as he spoke. "You smoke often?"

"Yeah.. helps with the whole social anxiety thing.." you nodded your words followed by a small dry chuckle as you side glanced at him, exhaling the smoke to the side to avoid blowing it directly in his face.

JJ couldn’t help but notice the little side glance at him. That action, for some reason, made his stomach flip and flutter like it had a mind of its own, the way your eyes fixed on him momentarily making him nervous for some reason. A small smirk formed on his face as he blew out his own puff of smoke.

"Social anxiety, huh?"

He took another drag of the cigarette, his eyes looking straight at you as he did. He chuckled slightly, he never thought you would be the type to suffer from social anxiety, mostly because of his prejudice towards your social status. You had always seemed so quiet and reserved, but he never assumed it was because of that. But, as he looked at you now, taking a puff of your cigarette and shyly glancing at him every so often, he was starting to realize that maybe social anxiety made sense. The thought made him realize that he really didn’t know you at all, and that he desperately wanted to change that.

He leaned against the railing once again, taking another drag from the cigarette as he decided on what to say next.

Before he had the chance to do so, none other than your best friend Maisy, burst through the front door, her eyes fixed on you and probably not noticing JJ at first, "Y/n/n! where have you been, girl? You just missed the whole ordeal with Maybank getting locked in a closet with some random girl. It was so crazy.. I looked for you so i could tell you all about it!" she gasped excitedly as she clasped her hands on your shoulders, her loud voice and sudden appearance startling you and JJ. She could not, for the life of her read the room. Ever.

JJ’s eyes immediately went from you to Maisy, he was going to attempt to make more conversation until your best friend burst through the door.

He stiffened at hearing his last name, instantly tensing at what Maisy had said, now staring at the strawberry blonde mess of hair when she stepped in front of him to grab your shoulders.

You cleared your throat awkwardly, glancing over Maisy's shoulder to signal JJ's presence, glaring at her subtly. You didn't want her to say something stupid and reveal your feelings by mistake and embarrass you in front of him. Maisy’s eyes suddenly widened as she realized that she had walked out in the middle of a conversation you having with someone. She followed your gaze and looked over her shoulder, noticing JJ for the first time.

She gasped as her eyes widened even more, her look of surprise quickly turning into a smirk as she glanced back and forth from JJ to you.

You shook your head as if to say, 'don't, i'll kill you.

Maisy, the best friend she was, completely forgot about the look you had given her and the silent threat you were trying to convey in seconds upon receiving it. She had suddenly realized that you were standing beside JJ by yourself, and she was about to take full advantage of the situation. She smirked at you and wiggled her eyebrows dramatically, silently teasing you in her own way.

"Maisy. Please." you widened your eyes, silently scolding her and desperately suppressing the urge to groan out loud. Maisy was well aware of your MASSIVE years long crush on JJ, and you knew she was happy about this, in her own way, of course.

Maisy’s smirk grew as she saw how you widened your eyes and silently begged her not to say anything. She knew how big of a crush you had on JJ and how long you had wanted a moment like this. She was going to make the most of this.

She feigned innocence, silently raising an eyebrow at you as if to say "what".

JJ glanced back and forth between the two of you, picking up on the tension that he couldn’t fully understand. He glanced at you, noticing the look in your eyes as you looked at your friend. He could almost feel the pleading in your eyes, silently begging her not to say anything.

He looked at your friend, catching the smirk that was on her face. He silently tried to figure out what was going on. What was going through the mind of your bratty friend in that moment?

Mimsy glanced at JJ, noticing the curious look he had on his face. She couldn’t help but tease her friend, this was a once lifetime chance and she wasn’t going to pass up on the opportunity to tease her just a little.

She continued her innocent look as she turned back to you. She smirked as she leaned her head in your direction, acting as if she was going to whisper something into your ear. But instead, she spoke loudly, making sure JJ could hear her too. She loved tormenting you just a bit too much.

"You're alone with JJ Maybank of all people. How does it feel?"

Maisy said, a sly grin on her face as she watched your reaction. She was enjoying messing with you and making a fool of you in front of the guy that you liked a little too much for her liking. She didn't care, she loved embarrassing you. It was a friend’s right to tease their other friend in front of a potential love interest, right?

"Embarrassing, given you're here now." you glared at her, probably the most expressive JJ had seen you since you started speaking in the closet. A small sigh escaped your lips and you barely contained the urge to face-palm dramatically.

Maisy let out a loud gasp, acting as if she was offended by your words. She put her hand over her heart, a dramatic look crossing her face as she spoke. She was really enjoying this just so she could get a reaction out of you, which in turn would get a reaction out of JJ.

“Oh, wow. You’re being a bit rude, aren’t you? I can’t believe you’d say that in front of JJ. So insulting.”

JJ let out a stifled laugh as your friend dramatically pretended to be offended. He couldn’t help but find her antics amusing as he watched the whole scene unfold in front of his eyes. But he really couldn’t help but notice the glare you gave to your friend. It was the most expressive facial expression he had seen you wear so far, and he had to admit that he rather liked it. There was something about you standing up for yourself that he found attractive, even if it was just in a small way.

"And also I'm gonna kill you for ditching me like that.. " you added quietly, slapping Maisy's shoulder teasingly even though you were still glaring at her.

Misy let out another gasp as you slapped her shoulder. She feigned a look of pain on her face as she dramatically winced and rubbed the spot where you had slapped her in a playful way. She let out a loud melodramatic "ow". Clearly she was just messing with you at this point.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ditch you. I just had to do something REALLLLYYY important." she countered, her words dripping with suggestive undertones rather than genuine apology.

"Like?" you raised one brow, feigning annoyance.

Maisy shrugged her shoulders slightly, trying her best to look innocent. It was all an act, and she was enjoying it so much. She loved getting a rise out of you just so she could see the way you reacted and how you acted in front of JJ. In another world, she would’ve been a professional drama actor with the way she was able to act so well.

"Just something..., you know. The usual. Important, fun, necessary stuff."

"You need to drive me home. I hate this stupid party." you put out your cigarette, sighing and groaning out loud this time as you adjusted your glasses, leaning away from the railing.

Your best friend laughed at your irritation. She knew that you hated parties and that you dreaded them, that’s why she’d convinced you to come to this one in the first place. It was just her way of being a good friend.

"Alright, alright. Stop being such a prude. I’ll take you home, you baby. Just let me say 'bye' to a few people first. You’re such a buzzkill, you know that?"

"Ugh Maisy.. you're just gonna take forever." you groaned once again at the thought of having to follow her around while she bid her never-ending goodbyes.

"I'll just skate home. Where's your car? i left my board in there." at that point, given how quiet JJ was you forgot momentarily that he was there, speaking freely and more expressively.

Misy raised her eyebrows dramatically as you mentioned skating home. If there was one thing she hated more than parties, it was your habit of skating everywhere. It was like you were allergic to cars. She let out a fake gasp and dramatically put her hand on her chest like she had been wounded.

“Skate home this late!? Alone!? You’re joking right?”

"Unlock the car. I can see it from here." you deadpanned, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible, nodding towards her car parked a bit messily on the lawn of the house.

Maisy scoffed and turned towards where her car was parked. She pulled out her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the car.

“Ugh. Fine. But if you get kidnapped or murdered, I’m not taking the blame. You’re such a pain, you know that right?”

"Bye... I'll see you tomorrow when you're hung over." you waved a hand in her face dramatically, the gesture sarcastic.

Maisy rolled her eyes at your sarcastic wave. She couldn’t help but smirk at how much of a pain you were being. She put a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow at you in a sarcastic way.

“Ugh, thanks for that. I look forward to your sarcastic and overly annoying comments in the morning. See you, baby.”

With that she turned on her heel and walked back into the house, heading back into the party with a smirk still on her face. She was beyond satisfied with herself. She had pushed your buttons enough for you to be a bit more expressive in front of JJ and get a reaction from both you and him. It was one of her favorite pastimes to see you flustered and a bit irritated just at her presence.

The moment she disappeared inside, the only person left outside on the porch was you and JJ.

After Maisy had gone back inside, the porch suddenly felt much quieter than before. The only sounds heard were the crickets in the background and the muffled noise from the party inside. JJ glanced over at you, his eyes studying your face once again. He couldn’t help but notice the change in your demeanor the moment your annoying friend left.

As soon as your best friend left you were aware that you were alone with JJ again. You glanced at him adjusting your glasses nervously, "sorry about that.."

JJ couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as you nervously adjusted your glasses the moment you realised you were alone with him. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the railing of the porch once again, his gaze fixed on you.

"No need to apologize. Your friend is… something else.”

Back to clamming up like a dumbass you go. You nodded silently, a small apologetic smile tugging at your lips. You were going to skate home, but you weren't sure how to.. end the conversation with JJ? should you just leave? wave at him? no... that's too casual, he doesn't even know you. Saying bye felt pathetic.

JJ chuckled again as you fell back into your shy, nervous demeanor. He could tell that you were overthinking the entire situation in the moment, trying to find the right way to leave. He thought that you looked so awkward and nervous. It was almost cute how unsure of yourself you were.

He pushed himself off the railing and took a step towards you.

"You’re still gonna skate home?"

You hummed faintly and nodded, looking out to Maisy's car. You didn't hate the idea of skating home, given you had your earphones with you and you could just take a shortcut to your house from here.

He couldn't help but smirk slightly as you hummed weakly and nodded. He took a couple more steps towards you, closing the gap between the two of you completely. He stood right in front of you, looking down at you with a raised eyebrow. "Not afraid of being kidnapped or murdered like your friend said?"

"I skate at night pretty often." you stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, your voice back to its quiet and soft tone again.

JJ smirked even more as you stated your regular night time skating routine as if it was natural. He let out an amused chuckle, his eyebrows raising at the idea of you skating home alone in the dark so often.

"You skate at night often? You must have a death wish, doll."

You furrowed your brows at his nickname, whipping your head to look up at him with an expression resembling confusion. It was mostly to hide how flustered it made you, a small frown forming on your face, which wasn't supposed to be rude in any way, you were just... thrown off.

He smirked as you whipped your head up to look at him, your face showing a look of confusion mixed with… dare he say it, was that a hint of blush on your cheeks? He let out a small chuckle as he noticed your small, almost pouty frown. "What's with that look for, doll? You got a problem with the new nickname?"

You pursed your lips, as if mulling over the nickname in your head and dissecting it. He had no reason to call you that, but you knew JJ even though he didn't know you. You knew he was carefree and casual with everyone, so it wasn't hard for him to say certain things or make jokes. A part of you had always been envious of that, ever since you started liking him. Maybe that's why you liked him. He was the opposite of you, and in some ways you wished you could be like him, or like the girls you knew he usually went for.

He observed your facial expressions closely as you seemed to be deep in thought. He could practically hear the gears turning in your head as you thought about the nickname he had given you. He didn’t know why he called you "doll", it just came out naturally in the moment. He had a habit of nicknaming people, especially pretty ones, without even thinking about it. But for some reason, he was more interested in your reaction to it this time. It was the first nickname he had given you, and he wondered how you would react to it.

He chuckled softly to himself as he watched you purse your lips slightly, your facial expression almost looking like you were analyzing and dissecting the nickname he had given you. He couldn’t help but feel amused at the way you were acting. You were so quiet and soft-spoken, so different from anything he was used to. It was almost endearing in a way. He found your shyness refreshing and cute.

You decided you had enough of just standing there awkwardly and you looked up at him, nodding in greeting and walking towards the steps off the porch, your feet moving slowly, as if you were hesitating, afraid not to create a hole through the wood or something. You didn't wanna leave obviously, but you were awkward and weird and flustered easily and he was... well, JJ. You decided that you liked pining after him from afar from your camera lenses and behind corners rather than embarrassing yourself by talking to him face to face.

JJ watched as you nodded in greeting and began to walk down the steps of the porch. He let out a small chuckle as he noticed the slow and hesitant way you moved, as if you were afraid to break something on the way. He found your nervous mannerisms to be endearing, and he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in your head at that moment.

As you started walking away, he couldn’t help but step forward and speak up before you got too far.

"Hey, wait."

He took a few steps towards you, closing the distance between the two of you again as he spoke up, his voice low and gentle. "You’re just gonna leave like that, doll?"

"Well.. yeah?" you grimaced hesitantly, curious as to why he seemed so adamant on speaking with you even though you were silent most of the time.

He raised an eyebrow at your hesitancy and grimace. He couldn’t help but feel a mix of annoyance and interest at the fact that you were just going to leave without a second thought. He had wanted to talk to you more, and he wasn’t about to give up just yet.

"You can’t just leave after you’ve barely said anything at this party. You’re too quiet, it’s a little weird."

Ouch again. He probably didn't mean to make another stingy comment, but you still felt the sting a little. You didn't let it show though, raising your brows and adjusting your glasses, looking at him as if expecting him to continue, despite the obvious figurative period at the end of his sentence.

He noticed the subtle flash of hurt in your eyes at his comment, but he didn’t apologize for it. He had a reputation to maintain after all. He raised an eyebrow in return at your raised brows and expression, expecting you to say something. When you didn’t, his eyes narrowed slightly as if he was annoyed that you weren’t responding. "Is that all you’re gonna do, just stare at me?"

You looked to the side as if considering his question, nodding slowly and silently. You knew he probably didn't like it, you weren't the kind of person that would hang around JJ Maybank after all. But you couldn't help it, your brain just didn't wanna speak sometimes, it was like it was selectively mute, which was very asshole-ish of it.

He let out a low sigh at your nod and silent response. He found it both annoying and endearing at the same time how reticent you were. He wasn’t used to someone being this quiet and reserved around him. Usually girls would cling to him or talk endlessly, never shutting up.

He took a small step closer to you, his eyes narrowed slightly as he looked down at you. He leaned forward slightly, his voice low and gruff as he spoke. "You can at least say something, doll."

"Something." you spoke without realizing, the word soft and quiet even though it was more sarcastic than anything.

A surprised laugh escaped his lips at your unexpected sarcastic response. He didn’t expect you to actually say something, let alone something sarcastic.

"Clever."

He said dryly as a smirk formed on his face, his eyebrows raising slightly. He was enjoying this more than he cared to admit, he wasn’t used to people being sarcastic back to him, not someone as quiet as you anyway.

He leaned in slightly closer, his smirk slowly morphing into a small, amused smile. He liked how blunt and sarcastic you could be, and the fact that you were being sarcastic with him was almost funny. "You sure know how to make conversation, doll."

You raised your brows and nodded looking to the side once again as if to say 'i know right?', a small scoff leaving your lips.

He chuckled softly at your raised brows and subtle scoff. It was like you were trying to match his confidence and snarky attitude but by being quiet at the same time, and he couldn’t help but find it amusing. He took another small step forward, getting even closer to you. "You sure are a sassy one, doll. Most people would be a stuttering mess in front of me right now."

'I am stuttering... mentally.' you thought, fixing him with your gaze. You were sure you were plenty nervous in front him anyway, stuttering would just make you explode probably. You were sure that would actually happen if it came down to it.

He could see the hint of nervousness in your eyes as you fixed him with a steady gaze. He knew that you were probably feeling very nervous and intimidated by his presence, but you were doing a good job at not letting it show. It was refreshing to him that you weren’t falling all over yourself in front of him like most girls did.

"You’re awfully quiet though. How come you’re not all over me like most girls are?" He asked, his voice laced with sarcasm and subtle curiosity.

'Oh, how i would love to-..' you stopped that thought before it actually finished in your mind, shaking it out of your brain quickly. Your version of being all over him was stalking him around and taking pretty artsy and stalkerish pictures of him from afar. Of course that was embarrassing to think about, especially when he was standing right in front of you, talking and giving you casual nicknames like 'doll and mouse.'

He noticed the brief second when you seemed to zone out for a moment before snapping yourself out of it. He couldn’t help but be intrigued by the look that had crossed your face, if only for a split second. He raised an eyebrow at your sudden change in demeanor and wondered what had just gone through your head.

"You sure love zoning out, doll. You alright in that head of yours?"

You nodded swiftly, looking back up at him. Still, you couldn't seem to get a word out, which was becoming annoying for you. You can talk to him, he's not gonna bite.

He could sense your frustration at your inability to speak, even though he could also tell that you were trying to remain calm and collected in front of him. He found your struggle both endearing and irritating at the same time.

He chuckled softly before speaking again, his voice soft and casual. "You know you can talk to me, right? Like, actually say something out loud."

"I'm a girl of few words." you spoke up, pursing your lips gently as you looked up at him, nodding in a self-assured way.

He chuckled again at your response, his eyes fixed on your pursed lips. There was something strangely intriguing about the way you looked at him, even with your glasses in the way. "I can tell, doll. You’re practically mute." like an actual doll, that was even more funnier to think about in JJ's mind.

He found himself moving closer to you again, a smirk playing on his lips. He was enjoying the fact that you were struggling to speak, and secretly found it cute how shy and awkward you were around him.

"You’re a little mouse, aren’t ya? Too shy to talk?"

You hated that word when it was used to describe your quietness by others, but when it came out of his mouth and it rolled off his lips you found it almost... sweet. The way he seemed to weigh his words and keep his rowdy and loud behavior in check made you feel.. special? but also pitied, like he was scared of scaring you away. You raised your brows, adjusting your glasses and smiling slightly at him, nodding again after a few seconds.

He could see the hint of annoyance in your eyes when he called you a mouse, but it was gone as soon as he saw you smile slightly.

"Awww, look at that, she finally smiled. I didn’t think it was possible with you being so quiet."

He mocked your silence once more, just to tease you a bit more. He found your reactions and facial expressions entertaining, even if you were silent most of the time.

Somehow you found the courage to reach up and smack his shoulder playfully, glaring at him half heartedly. The action surprised even yourself, retracting your hand fast in fear that you might've made him uncomfortable.

His eyes widened slightly in surprise when you reached up and smacked his shoulder, the action catching him off guard. It was the first time you had physically touched him, and he couldn’t help but feel a small spark of electricity at the contact. He also noticed the way you retracted your hand quickly, as if you were afraid of what he might do.

He laughed softly at the look on your face, his smirk widening.

"Did you just SMACK me, mouse?"

"Sorry.." you stuttered out, stepping back a little nervously. It was supposed to be a casual teasing smack but as per usual, you made things awkward and weird. Just like you always did.

He chuckled again at your stuttered apology, the sound low and gruff. He found your nervous mannerisms and stuttering quite endearing. It was an odd thing, being intrigued by someone who hardly talked and was very awkward. He took a step closer to you, closing the distance between you again. "Don’t apologize, doll. I’m not mad." He said lowly, his smirk fading into a soft smile.

You nodded quickly, turning away suddenly and walking towards Maisy's car to retrieve your board and skate home. God, you had spoken to him more than you ever did in these 8 years of pining after him. And it was so nerve wrecking, having someone have some much control over you without even knowing.

As you walked away, JJ couldn't help but feel a bit of disappointment that you were leaving already. He watched you walk towards Maisy's car, and a part of him wanted to call out to you to stay, but he didn't.

He couldn't quite understand why, but there was something about you that he found strangely captivating. Despite the fact that you were very shy and awkward around him, he felt strangely drawn to you. He didn’t want the conversation to end just yet.

He thought about calling out to you to wait, but something stopped him. He wasn't sure what it was, but he couldn't bring himself to speak up. Instead, he just watched as you walked away, his eyes fixed on your retreating form.

Maybe it was the way you had looked at him with those shy, behind-the-glasses eyes, or the soft, almost sarcastic responses you had given him despite your quiet nature. Something just made him want to keep talking to you, even if all you did was just nod and stay silent most of the time. Maybe that's what JJ needed, someone quiet enough to help him ground his loudness. But that thought was shaken away when he realized you were a stranger and the 2 of you might not even interact ever again.

JJ was still standing there at base of the porch steps, watching as you opened the back seat of Maisy's car. He raised an eyebrow at the state of the car, thinking to himself about how messy it was. As you retrieved your board from under the pile of clothes and Gatorade bottles, he watched your every movement intently.

When you suddenly turned around and waved at him, JJ couldn’t help but feel a fluttering in his chest. He couldn’t quite understand why, but he found the gesture strangely adorable.

He raised his hand in response, waving back at you.

"Night, mouse. Don't get lost on the way home."

He called out, his smirk returning to his face. He couldn't help but tease you a little before you left, it was too hard not to poke at your shy demeanor.

You couldn't help but smile at his use of the nickname again, placing your board on the sidewalk and glancing at him one last time before finally forcing yourself to skate away down the sidewalk, the sound of the party becoming distant as you skated down the street.

JJ watched as you placed your board on the sidewalk and started skating away. He couldn’t help but notice the small smile that had appeared on your face when he had called you 'mouse' again. He felt a small twinge of satisfaction being the cause of the smile, even if it was a small one.

—♡‧

A/n: Okay so... what do we think about the first interaction? I decided mid-way that I'm making this multiple parts..☆*: .｡. o(≧▽≦)o .｡.:*☆ if this does well I'll post part 2.. JJ is such a yapper, and the reader is.. not. I'll take this down if people don't read it but i have an entire story about these 2 :( I'm just curious if this was too long

Divider credits: @cafekitsune

| Next*:･ﾟ✧

[amandabbbbb]

summary: rafe who protects maybank!reader from luke bc jj is too busy finding gold to protect his sister

tw: parental abuse, mention of drugs, rafes sweet but kinda demanding

word count: 526

you covered a shift working at the wreck because kie could never be bothered to take a shift at her dad’s restaurant, too busy running around the island trying to find whatever gold bullshit that john b has got your brother’s friends and him hung up on. you call jj, overwhelmed from the morning of dealing with your father luke’s fit of rage.

“are you gonna be home tonight? dad just bought a bunch of drugs from barry’s and i don’t want to be alone. i’m scared.”

“sis, you know i love ya, but do you want our lives to get better or not? i’m tryna get us out of this hell, alright? so just stay in your room and don’t come out. love ya, bye.”

he hung up before you could squeeze in another cry for help. just as your salty tears fall, rafe cameron motions you over to give him his bill. you wipe your tears away and give him the fakest smile. he orders you to sit in the opposite empty chair.

“are you alright, sweetheart? i heard that. you know, i know your dad’s a druggie dick. i’ve seen him at barry’s. I gotta get you out of that house. i see your bruises. you know all that makeup doesn’t cover it.” he grabs your arm and rolls up your sleeve, showing your bruise from your father. you, flustered, pull away as his tone was demanding.

before you could even respond, kie’s words ring in your ears: “rafe cameron wouldn’t be caught dead eating here, especially alone. he usually spends his time at the country club. to a kook like him, the wreck is a dump. but ever since you started working there, he always sits at the same table almost every day, staring at you your whole shift, and if you aren’t his waitress, he makes a huge fuss. he’s so sweet to you, always.”

“rafe, really, i’m alright. don’t worry about me.”

“stay at mine tonight, y/n. i’ll take care of you.” he sets 1000 dollars down on the table. he usually gives you a 100 or 200 dollar tip but never this much. you barely know rafe.

“rafe, no. i can’t take this. i don’t even know… uh, uh, rafe, i can’t.”

“stop mumbling and take it. your dad spends all his money on drugs and your brother’s too goddamn worried about god knows what to even be home to take care of you. so i’m going to man up and protect you, okay? so shut up.”

that night after your shift, you stay at rafe’s house. he lets you stay in sarah’s room since the camerons are away. for the first time in ages, you finally relax, safe from your abusive father. you fall asleep almost instantly, exhausted from the stress. rafe makes sure you’re comfortable, checking on you throughout the night. when you wake up in the morning, you find a note and breakfast waiting for you. the note reads:

“good morning, sweetheart. had to run some errands. i know we’re very different but i know what you’re going through. stay as long as you need. you’re safe here. - rafe.”

[maybanksprincess]

trouble sleeping? // j.m

warnings: fluff, cuddling, kissing, pet names.

summary: jjs girlfriend is having trouble sleeping <3

small blurb for my baby @jjblunts requested by this ask, i hope you like it!

for a couple days now, you've been having sleeping problems. when you lay in bed, you toss and turn for hours until you fall asleep, waking up with a sore back and grouchy from the lack of sleep.

however, jj has been noticing the slight changes in appearance and mood from you. he's been noticing dark circles starting to form, and the way you've been super quiet all day, and drinking multiple cups of coffee to stay awake.

he didnt know what was going on, but he knew he wanted to help. so tonight, instead of laying on the couch, he comes in to sleep with you instead.

you had been laying on your back, desperately trying to get just an ounce of sleep, but there was no use. you let out a huff of frustration and turn onto your side, hugging the pillows close to you.

as your fighting to fall asleep, you hear the door creaking, meaning someone has entered the room. you open you eyes to see the blonde standing above you.

he reaches down to carress your cheek, rubbing the pad of his thumb across it. "hey babydoll. you cant sleep?" he asks softly.

you smile softly up at him, a tired and weak smile on your face. "no..." you shake your head.

he sighs, sliding into bed next to you gently moving you over by your waist to make room for him. "why didn't you tell me baby? you know i would've came to sleep with you." he says, running his fingers through your hair gently.

you lean into his touch, resting your head on his pec. "i dunno, didn't wanna bother you..."

he chuckles softly "baby your never bothering me. jus' go to sleep, hm?" he says, and moves your hair away from your face to kiss your forehead.

within minutes, your softly snoring in his arms, your face buried in the crook of his neck.

he smiles, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. "sweet dreams, sweetheart." he says before falling asleep, holding your body against his protectively.

[cherrygirlfriend]

₊˚⊹ ᰔ helping out a friend

pairing: reader x bsf!jj synopsis: jj sends you a meme about reach-around handjobs. you give him what he wants. warnings/tags: smut, handjob, edging MDNI! wc: 400 a/n; this was inspired by a meme about reach-around handjobs. so, you're welcome lmao originally posted 10/28/2024

jj sending you stupid memes wasn't uncommon; exchanging them was pretty much a daily occurrence to you both, the two of you even doing it when you were in the same room sometimes, the other one snorting slightly from the other side of the room.

but when he sent you one about 'reach around handjobs', quickly following it with the message 'jk', you couldn't help the small glint of mischief in your eyes.

honestly, the last thing jj had expected was for you to take the meme seriously; yeah, he'd always thought you were hot and would've gotten with you in a heartbeat, but you two were always jokingly flirting.

so, even though your hand had been stroking his cock for an excruciating hour already, he still wasn't sure if it was a dream or a reality.

he was sitting inbetween your legs, his back relaxed against your bare tits and his head resting on your shoulder, jj's cock released from the boxers that rested on his thighs, covered in a mixture of sweat and precum that had leaked from his tip.

you'd been stroking him for the past hour, and every time he had been close to coming, you'd stopped, instead focusing on some documentary you'd put on tv while he whined in your arms.

he'd tried to jerk himself off, but you'd simply grabbed his wrist and looked at him pointedly, saying, "if you do that i'm never touching you again."

jj's eyes were closed, your hands moving up and down on his cock in a tortuously slow pace, every slight movement, every little noise, every small sensation all felt magnified, the drop of sweat running down his chest, the noise of the tv, every small kiss you pressed on the curve of his neck, the way you brought your thumb to the head of his cock when your hand reached it, gathering some of the precum you'd milked from him.

but the moment you even slightly started picking up your pace, he could felt the knot in his stomach tightening, his breathing picking back up.

"i can feel it." you whispered in his ear, "you're close, aren't you?"

jj couldn't speak, nodding his head profusely while small whines escaped his lips, his head completely in the clouds, biting down on his lower lip harshly while he kept his eyes so tightly shut he could feel tears stinging them.

"you wanna cum, hm? want me to make you cum?"

he let out a whiny "yes...!" before you could even finish your sentence, and you chuckled, squeezing his cock a bit more firmly while you picked up your pace, leaving small bites on his neck that caused his breath to hitch, and it wasn't long until your best friend's cock was spilling out heavy spurts of cum, painting his abdomen and his boxers white, the boy letting out loud moans.

[bbyg4rl]

make it fit ♡

cw: bf!JJ x reader, smut, aftercare, fluffy, happy ending !

summary: your bf's dick doesn't fit in you, so he makes it fit. MDNI

< size kink x100, use of papa J, aftercare, established relationship, fluffy, little overstimulation, unprotected piv sex, cream pie, slight praise kink; switch!jj and breeding kink if you squint >

a/n: for my short baddies ong !!! this also sooo self indulgent bc im also a 4'11 baddie 😫‼️

He didn't fit. It was as simple as that. He was just too big for you. Admittedly, that was what drew you both to each other in the first place— You loved how he enveloped you completely, how you had to stand on your tiptoes just to barely reach his face.

He loved how your face was barely the size of his hand. He'd always felt so small in his life, it was refreshing to feel so big near you. And boy was he big.

This was the first time you both were having sex together. You had the whole house to yourself, You were propped up on his lap, his big hands wrapped around your hips as he guided you against the bulge protruding out of his pants. The Tv playing in the background conveniently forgotten as you rutted into each other.

"I want you" you whisper to him in between soft pants. His eyes flicked open, intrigued at your words.

"Are you sure baby?" He asks you with an eyebrow raised.

"I'm ready" the words gush out of your mouth when his hands tighten around your hips.

He didn't need to be told twice, like clockwork you were lifted up from your seat on his lap and carried off to his bedroom. He laid you down on his bed, quickly discarding his clothes to climb on top of you. He peppered sweet kisses on your body as he slowly undressed you.

"you're so beautiful" he uttered as he faced your core, letting his fingers lightly dance over your clit.

Not an inch of your pussy is untouched by him. He's making out with your folds like its the only thing he ever wants to do. He's eating you like its his last meal on earth. He's pulling sloppy mewls out of you at every thrust of his tongue into your cunt. His hands are wrapped around your thighs, holding you down as he devours your pussy, restricting any movement you might make.

It's not long before he has you teetering over the edge of ecstacy. JJ notices as your hips buck into him harder and your wrists clench tight against the sheets.

"Give it to me baby. Give it to papa J" he hums against your heat, the vibrations from his mouth snapping the coil in your stomach instantly, making your back arch painfully.

He's reduced you into a creaming mess on his tongue. Moaning into you as you clench around his tongue desperately riding out your orgasm.

He pulls his head away from your arousal, his chin and nose covered in your cum as his fingers lap up the cream leaking out of you only to shove it back into you, He's fucking you with his fingers, watching with delight as your face scrunches up because of the overstimulation.

"Already so full baby?" he mocks you with faux sympathy in his voice as your walls spasm around his fingers in need.

"Ready for me mama?" He asks, his gaze locks in on your pussy, lust clouding his bright blue eyes.

You merely nod at his words, unable to let out anything other than moans from your mouth. He pulls his hand away from you, licking the arousal off his fingers.

"Use your words baby. Do you want this?" He asks, as he wraps his hand around his dick, beads of sticky precum leaking from his slit. He gives it a few strokes, low moans leaving both your mouths when he gives your clit a few taps with his tip.

"Please JJ. Need you" You mewl. Your words are like music to his ears, his hands reach under your knees to prop your legs upon his shoulders.

He reaches down to guide his cock to your heat, his tip nudges at your opening a few times before he starts pushing. Only- he struggles to push in.

Your face turns red as he tries to push in again, His face twisting in confusion as he drops your legs to your side to give him more space to work with.

Neither of you could lie and say it didn't turn you both on infinitely more when JJ struggled to fit inside you.

"J, it doesn't fit-" You moan as he tries to push again. A little embarrassment taking over your features as he struggles against you.

"Then I'll make it fit" His eyebrows furrow as he nudged his tip into your opening again. His hand left your thigh to place his fingers on either side of your hole, holding you open. His eyes find yours "Trust papa J princess?"

You nod and close your eyes in preparation. His eyes move back to your pussy. He starts bullying his dick into you slowly. Soft whimpers leaving his lips as your walls clamp down on him instantly.

"Fuck baby, you're so tight"

He pushes in more, wanting to feel your tight walls around all of him. Your eyes shoot open when you feel a sharp pain in your upper abdomen. He quickly connects his fingers to your clit, trying to soothe the pain.

He knew if he pulled out now, he wouldn't be able to last pushing his cock back in again without immediately climaxing. His attack on your clit works, pleasure taking over pain as he starts pushing again. He wasn't even halfway done yet but you could swear you felt him in your throat.

JJ was sure he'd see a bulge in your stomach when he was done. The thought making his dick twitch in anticipation.

Finally, he bottoms out in you. You're panting like a dog trying to adjust around his length. "So big" you whisper as you look down at him. His eyes trained on your pussy, silently admiring how beautiful you looked all stretched out for him.

He looks at you for approval before he starts slowly thrusting. Your eyes roll back into your skull as you feel inch after inch of his dick as he moved, it hurt a little but was quickly replaced by pleasure as JJ started rubbing hearts on your clit pushing you to reach your edge.

He eventually starts thrusting faster, desperation taking over his actions. His eyes were locked shut at the feel of your walls tightening around him so deliciously.

"Jay- I'm gonna-" you mutter as you near your edge, JJ's hand moves faster against your clit, encouraging you to finish around his dick.

"So perfect-" he drags his words as you clench hard around his dick, He relaxes for a second giving you both a moment to fill your lungs with air.

Before you know it, He's fucking you harder and harder. Now chasing his own climax. His thrusts leave you so overstimulated there's tears in your eyes. He bends down to kiss your lips.

"You're so perfect for me baby" he says as he buries his head in the crook of your neck "Please let me finish inside" he whimpers in your ear. His pleads send butterflies down to your clit.

"Please cum in me" You say as an attempt to push him over the edge, earning you a soft groan from him. His thrusts start to get sloppier as he shoots white ropes deep inside you with a moan so loud even your neighbours probably heard. He bites down on your neck, leaving small hickeys as he continues fucking his cum deeper into you.

He slowly pulls out. Shifting to the edge of the bed to catch a glimpse at his cum oozing out of your worn cunt. He pushes it back in with his fingers.

He presses a kiss to your clit and gets up in search of a towel to clean you up and gets you a glass of water before carrying you to the washroom to let you pee. After he's done taking care of you, he gives you his shirt to wear and snuggles you into him, holding you close as he peppers your forehead with light kisses and whispers sweet nothings in your ear. You drift off to sleep safe in his arms.

check out my other works ! masterlist

[r4di0h3ad]

just practice part 2

part 1!

pairings! bsf!jj x reader

in which! you cant stop thinking about the night you lost your virginity to jj…. even though you have a boyfriend

warnings! 18+ smut. cheating. fingering. oral sex (m. recieving) pnv sex. unprotected sex. not proof read.

it had been two months since you lost your virginity to jj and almost a month and a half since you started officially dating your new boyfriend.

he was nice. he took you out to eat once a week, he bought you small gifts, he complimented you and you never argued. but the sex was just…bad. it was always over way too quickly and he never payed any attention to your body or what you wanted. you figured he was just one of those boys who was too scared to go down on a girl, which was fine, but it probably wouldn’t suit you in the long run.

you hadn’t been hanging around your friends very often, usually turning them down to go out with your boyfriend and jj was getting increasingly frustrated with this.

but every time you were around your friends, jj in particular, you couldn’t even look him in the eye. when you talked to him, all you thought about was the way he called you baby when he came on your stomach and the way he made you cum on his face. you felt so completely guilty for these thoughts, but nothing would stop them. you figured the best plan of action was to avoid him. not entirely, but just try not to be around him alone.

but, you did end up alone with jj by mistake one afternoon.

you had just finished surfing with kie as the swell had come in that day. you both planned to stay at the beach a little longer, but you were hungry and didn’t have any food. kie decided to go pick up something from the heyward’s shop and you went back to the chateau to grab a six pack, only to find jj working on his bike, his shirt off and his shorts dirty, probably from engine oil.

you didn’t say anything as you walked up the steps to the porch, but jj noticed you and called out.

“hey, y/n!” he yelled, wiping his hands off on a towel and throwing it on his bike. “thought you were gonna stay at the shore until later?”

you were in your damp bikini top and bottoms and a pair of sandals. you turned around at the sound of his voice and met his gaze.

“yeah..” you said. awkwardly. “i am, i was just grabbing some beers.” you turn back around, pulling open the screen door and stepping inside. once you’re in the kitchen with the refrigerator door cracked, you hear jj come into the château after you.

“what’s going on with you?” he asks, standing in the living room. you shut the refrigerator and look over at him with furrowed brows.

“what do you mean?” you question, although you knew exactly what he meant. you didn’t expect the confrontation to happen now of all times.

“don’t act like you don’t know.” he crosses his arms over his chest. “you’ve been weird around me ever since we..”

you didn’t want to hear him say it.

“jj, i’ve just been hanging around my boyfriend a lot,” you try to defend yourself, hoping he’ll stop questioning you. “i’m sorry i haven’t been talking to you. ‘been busy.”

he nods, biting his lip and looking down at the floor.

“do you regret it?” he asks, looking back up at you.

“what?” you shake your head. “no, i just-“

“you promised you wouldn’t make things weird between us and now you barely even talk to me.” jj said. “you sure i didn’t do something wrong?”

“no jj!” your voice raised slightly. “i-“ you cut yourself off, not knowing what to say. “it’s just that every time i try and talk to you, i think about what we did.” you blurt out, almost making it sound like you both murdered someone and hid the body. you made it sound like a crime, and it pogue rules, it technically was. “i thought that avoiding you was gonna take my mind off it until i got over it.”

he walks closer to the kitchen, tossing his hat somewhere on the counter.

“so you do regret it?” he questions, leaning against the counter and looking straight at you.

you shake your head no.

“i don’t, but it’s kind of wrong of me to think about you while my boyfriend’s fucking me.”

you realized what you said after it had already left your mouth and your eyes widened.

“what’d you say?” he asks, cocking his head a little at your admission, a barely visible smile playing on his lips.

“uh-“

you quickly turn around to open the fridge again, looking for some beers to take and get the hell up out of there.

“no, say it again.” jj pulls your arm, twisting you back around to face him so that your bodies were dangerously close together. your face flushed with embarrassment and your heart was thumping out of your chest.

“jj,” you say, shrugging off his touch. “i really gotta go back to the shore.” you say, but you weren’t moving. jj knew that wasn’t what you really wanted.

“i’m not stopping you.” he pulled back from you and leaned against the counter once again, showing that you had free will to leave, but you still didn’t budge. your feet were glued in place.

you wanted to kiss him so bad and get that ridiculous smile off his lips, but the thought of your boyfriend who did little to please you was the only thing that was keeping you from doing it. you bit the inside of your cheek, nervously. the tension between you two was going to make your head explode.

“he doesn’t fuck you like i do, does he?”

his words were your final straw.

you grabbed both sides of his face and instantly connected you lips with his. he kissed you back without a second thought, wrapping his arms around your waist. he backed you into the refrigerator as his lips moved perfectly with yours.

his fingers trailed down your hips and to your clothed core. he pulled away from the kiss to look at you, silently asking for permission for him to touch you, and you gave it.

still having you against the refrigerator’s surface, he skillfully moved your bikini bottoms to the side as two of his fingers sunk into your entrance. you were embarrassingly soaked already. you fight back a moan as he pulled out of you, just to slide right back in, hitting the spot he knew you needed.

“all this and i’ve barely even touched you?” he mocked, taking his fingers out of you and bringing them to his mouth. he looked you in the eyes as he sucked your slickness from his fingers. your lips were parted as you watched, desperately needing his hands on you again.

he then picked you up, his hands hooked under your thighs. you giggled as he carried you to the bedroom, kicking the door closed.

he gently placed you on the bed and reconnected his lips with yours, his tongue swiping yours. you reached to work on his belt, swiftly undoing it and pulling it off while never breaking the kiss. you slid his shorts down, his boxers barely hiding his desperation for you.

you palm him through the fabric, eliciting a groan from him against your lips that you needed to hear more of.

you sunk to your knees in front of him, yanking his boxers down and allowing his painfully hard cock to spring free. you took him in your hand, pumping a few times before your tongue poked through your lips to lick a long stripe from the base of his shaft to the tip.

he gently grabbed your hair, trying to pull you away, but you licked him again, which loosened his grip.

“you don’t have to-“ his eyes rolled back as you finally took him all in your mouth, hollowing out your cheeks as you sucked his cock. your hands were placed on his knees. the moan you heard from him encouraged you to keep going, although his tip was hitting the back of your throat and you were trying hard not to gag. “fuck- baby, you don’t have to do this.”

you pull him from your mouth, a string of spit connecting your lips with his tip.

“i want to.” you say before taking him in your mouth again. he tries to keep his eyes locked with yours, but his head falls back in pleasure, his fingers lacing into your hair.

you only knew how to do this because your boyfriend showed you. you had to keep your eyes closed the whole time so you could pretend it was jj.

his breathing was getting heavier with each rise and fall of his chest as soft moans and strings of curses fell from his lips. he couldn’t help but thrust his hips forward, forcing his cock farther into your mouth. there were tears brimming your eyes as you tried to focus on pleasuring him.

“fuck- m’not gonna last much longer like this.” he said.

you kept going, desperately wanting to bring him over the edge, but he pulled your hair back, taking you off of him.

“gotta stop you, princess.” he grabbed your hands and helped you up from your knees. you sat on the bed, pouting. he stood over you, brushing your hair out of your face and noticing your change of attitude. “didn’t wanna cum like that.”

as much as you wished you could make him cum by sucking him off, you couldn’t complain now that he was giving you attention.

his hands guided themselves to your waist, where he then told you to turn around so you were now on your hands and knees, your ass facing him. he was still standing as he held your hips from the edge of the bed. you felt his tip at your entrance.

“this okay?” he asked.

you give him a yes, and then you feel him slowly enter you. it felt so much different than when he had been on top of you before. there was a slight pain due to how much deeper he could push into you from this angle, but the pain melted into pleasure within seconds.

he pulled out just to drive himself back into you. his pace was slow until you adjusted to the position, and then he steadily began going faster. his fingers dug into the sides of your ass, pulling you into him with every thrust.

as he went harder, you gripped the sheets and stuffed your face into the mattress under you, trying to keep yourself quiet, but you couldn’t stop the moans that escaped your lips.

“fuck-“ jj cursed under his breath, his grip on you getting even harder. “feel so good, can’t get enough of this pussy”

his words brought you closer and his pace increased. you could feel him getting tenser, his thrusts getting sloppier.

“could have you like this every day if i could- shit.”

you were almost over the edge, the knot in your stomach threatening to undo.

“fuck- m’gonna cum princess” he moaned.

his last thrusts were deep and slow and they led you into perfect ecstasy. you came undone around his cock, moaning into the sheets right in time for him to pull out and finish on your back- your name leaving his mouth with curses and moans.

your body was limp when he cleaned your back with a towel, still in a haze from your orgasm.

“you okay?” he asked, running a hand down the middle of your back, feeling the ridges of your spine.

you nodded and sat up, grabbing your bikini from the floor and slipping it back on.

“kie is gonna kill me.” you say, slipping your sandals on your feet. “she’s not gonna believe any excuse i try to give her.”

“i’ll drive you down there.” jj offered. “i mean- are your legs alright to walk all the way to the shore or-“

you threw his shirt at his face and scoffed at him.

you had agreed to let him drive you to the beach while you fixed your hair in the visor mirror, trying to make yourself look presentable. although the whole way there you could only think about the words he said while he fucked you. you had no idea if he meant it or if it was just a thing he said in the moment. and this definitely wasn’t going to help save your thoughts about your boyfriend.

a/n: don’t know if i will write a part 3 to this, but requests are open for any jj or rafe fic!

tag list! (comment or message to be added or removed!)

@ifilwtmfc @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @xcallmetaniax @moondustedlily @x-0-madi-0-x @tumb1rgir1z

[personapeters]

✰ 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐣𝐣 (1)

— random texts with your boyfriend, jj maybank

rating: sfw — cw: slightly suggestive — links: one • two

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