#that brings both of them to effectively the same situation they started in BUT emotionally able to reach some kind of closure

[genericaces]

remembered my doomed weslah(?) post-nfa au that i can only describe as "wesley is an unofficial third to a semi-retired frunn who are now hippies in portland and also lilah is there"

wes grows a depression beard and gets really into building birdhouses. sometimes lilah, still liaison for w&h, shows up and together they're the most sexually tense couple at the farmer's market. (lilah makes him shave the beard)

obviously lilah decides that she needs to insert herself into this non-throuple in order to make wesley jealous and admit that he cares about... something. other than birdhouses.

anyways every visit inevitably ends with lilah being called back to work by the senior partners. she only gets to snag brief moments of freedom before she goes back to work, and every time wes has to say goodbye to her all over again he gets all morose and guilty about it.

and i think it's ultimately about hanging onto guilt and loss past the point where it's helpful for you because it's your last connection to someone, even though it's keeping you from living your life in the present, because on some level the idea of being happy feels like a betrayal. and trying to figure out what moving on even looks like

[princessjojo-x]

10th House Synastry

these are public rxships that are very seen by the outside world. this couple may put on a performance for others, which can eventuate in a negative way; for instance scandals & situations that effect reputations & careers.

both partners may care more abt how others perceive the rxship rather than the actual condition of the rxship, which leads to them putting up a facade & fabricating the rxship.

you may share this synastry with whoever you start a family with bc they’re literally changing your status & legacy by marrying & breeding you.

your partner holds the ability to influence others to feel & act a certain way towards you. your partner will shift the foundations of how you’re perceived (inc self-perception) & ultimately change your social status (for better or worse). in my experience, those i share this synastry with tend to talk, gossip or brag abt me immensely!

your partner may admire your reputation, but that could be their only point of attraction, leading to a shallow & fleeting connection. your partner may even put you on a pedestal (the same way we idolise celebrities) which could indicate a rxship bordering obsession.

partners may connect or succeed together in terms of: goals, business, fame, career & so on - partners tend to push each other to grow in these areas.

if not accompanied with warmer aspects elsewhere, this synastry can create a very cold chemistry (esp if mars is entangled here). both partners are equally detached & have no clue what they want from one another, with a tendency to be too logical & nitpicky with each other. this is the type of couple that are known to be arguing all the time; typically it’s power imbalances & big egos that cause these arguments.

Venus:

house is the dominant partner for some reason (possibly due to experience or age). consequently, venus perceives house as mature. venus feels like this rxship can change their life in some way (career, status, etc).

Mars:

mars has a somber approach to house. mars can seem unbothered to an untrained eye, but the calmness emitting from mars isn’t discontent or disinterest, it’s merely admiration for house. mars wants to impress house but wants to bring house down too. house is everything mars wants to be & how they want others to perceive them. it can be really tiring for house to hear mars trying to make them insecure. consequently, house often finds themselves leaving their walls up around mars more than they would anyone else. on the bright side, sex is very passionate & long-lasting.

Moon:

moon feels uneasy abt house due to the lack of emotional closeness between partners. moon eventually grows tired bc they’re never emotionally noticed & their needs are not being met enough.

Lilith:

lilith feels the need to prove themselves to house.

[just-a-ghost00]

General messages for the collective

Group 1

2 of pentacles, 2 of swords, King of cups, ace of cups, page of swords, queen of cups, back of the deck 7 of pentacles

You lack clarity and balance concerning a person that you love. This is a romantic interest that holds a lot of importance to you, considering they are represented by a King. This person may have played hot and cold with you, either voluntarily or because of their life circumstances. Their actions and words got you confused and you may have thought that this person wasn't truthful or reliable. Soon, you will gain clarity on this person's point of view and experience. You will be able to understand their stance better and there may be a renewal in your connection. Because clarity has been made about feelings and expectations for the connection. Either you or they communicated clearly how you felt about the situation which will enable both of you to heal and regain balance in the connection. That could either mean that you will receive an apology from this person and explanations about their behavior which will allow you to move on from them or the conversation could bring you closer and help you move on to a new step together. With the Queen of cups also being present in the reading, I get the feeling that this person considers you an equal and values your input. It is at least very obvious that they care about you and do not wish to cause you harm. With this set of cards, I don't sense any ill will coming from this person. This isn't to say that their actions haven't had a bad effect on you but this person's first intention was never to bring you down or make fun of you. The ace of cups is at the center of the deck. So the heart of the matter is compassion, love, understanding. This card can symbolize a new start in a connection, the will to open up to another and share feelings. It's the blossoming of interest and the expression of a genuine care. The 7 of pentacles at the back of the deck suggests patience and caution, taking the time to assess the situation and leave up to fate a part of the outcome. The 7 of pentacles indicates that has person has done what was necessary to set their goals into motion and have reached a stage where there is nothing more that they can do to ensure a positive outcome. The ball is no longer in their court.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 2s, water signs, letters P, C & S

Group 2

7 of pentacles, 8 of swords, King of cups, 9 of cups, 9 of wands, page of cups, back of the deck 8 of wands

You may have felt drawn to group 1 as well. If that is the case, I suggest that you check that group too. Because the third card is exactly the same and the 7 of pentacles was group 1's back of the deck. So your energy and group 1's seem to be linked. I have the energy here of people that feel like they gave a situation their everything and are running out of options to make it progress. Yet, they haven't given up on the idea of succeeding, because this situation matters a lot to them. This is something that they are deeply emotionally invested in. It is a dream of theirs, whether that dream is in the form of a project or a person, maybe even both. This person is determined to fight for that dream no matter what but they're at a loss at what to do. They feel like they tried everything, used all the tricks up their sleeve and thought about it over and over again. Yet, they can't seem to find a solution that allows them to get the desired result. They feel like they're in a dead end and they have no emergency exit or detour route that they can take to get where they want. They feel stuck and exhausted, discouraged but still adamant on trying their best until their last breath. I get a feeling of urgency, like "if I don't act soon enough I'm gonna lose my dream", "I will lose the opportunity and I don't want to miss it". I get a "now or never" kind of vibe from this spread. It's like they wish they could jump straight away to their goal because right now they feel like they're in a maze and if they keep walking in it they're gonna miss the exit and will never see the end of it. It's like a lion in a cage, running in circles trying to find ways to be free and find their home. I saw the card that was hidden behind the 8 of wands and it was the 9 of pentacles. And it gave me the feeling of someone trying to save money to travel. The 8 of wands calls for quick action and swift communication. It's also an encouragement to move. So if there's a particular goal you have in mind and you feel like you're not making any progress, you are encouraged to make a significant move towards that goal. There's a need to take a risk and get out of one's comfort zone once and for all.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 8s and 9s, fire and water signs

Group 3

10 of wands, 10 of pentacles, 2 of swords, 2 of pentacles, King of cups, King of pentacles, back of the deck 3 of swords rx

These messages seem to be more career oriented but that doesn't have to be the case necessarily. I pick on the energy of someone feeling burdened with their responsibilities and overworked. Yet, they are sucessful in their career and projects. That doesn't seem to satisfy them. There may be a feeling of boredom or lacking visibility on the future. I also pick up on the energy of someone that is in a period of doubt concerning their life in general, but also concerning two people or two instances. There is an energy of pondering, decision making, reevaluating one's priorities and goals. There's also an underlying fear of being disappointed, hurt, abused. These energies are weighing on the mind and creating an extra pressure. There's a need to take time to process information and analize what is going on. I looked for a clarifier for the 3 of swords rx and got the page of pentacles. Studying, investigating may be the key to an important step on your journey. This page of pentacles could also represent a younger person, possible an earth sign, that could help you on your journey. I am also picking up on reading, research. Organization is also important. Anticipation, task managing, being open to new ideas and unconventional ways of proceeding. All of these elements could be useful resources in your situation. I'm also picking up on the energy of two people that are circling around each other and testing each other. Neither of them are willing to make a step and risk being vulnerable. Both are testing and trying to assess the intentions of the other. If one has a very practical approach to the situation, the other has a very strategical approach. And I feel like this has been going on for a while. This in a way feels similar to the energies of group 1 and 2. So there may be a lot of people that are going through a similar experience of going back and forth with something or someone. There's a need hear to clearly assess one's intentions to be able to decide on the appropriate course of action.

Possible confirmation signs : repeating 2s, 10s and 14s, letters K and P, Scorpio, Taurus, fixed signs

[virologikal]

Headcanons posted for my works of fiction are merely my interpretation of the respective character(s) and should not be considered as "single point of truth".

⸻ 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐩𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬

To explain what would have caused Wesker to wear sunglasses even before his infection during the Mansion Incident (in a lore-relevant way that ignores the need for characters of games from the 90s to be very distinct from each other), an observation of his early life is required.

Seeing as he was taken from his biological family at an undefined but young age, and raised by employees of Umbrella that focused most on drilling their credo into the children’s heads - Discipline, Obedience, Unity - there likely was no concern for the emotional wellbeing, development or even safety from their caretakers. The whole emphasis of the Training School was bringing out and furthering the genetic advantages these kids had; in Wesker’s case it was both physical abilities as well as his outstanding intelligence.

Further, Sir Marcus was the closest thing to a father figure Wesker had. A father figure which turned out to be a secluded scientist in charge of a school, who was completely unavailable to him most of the time unless it involved disciplinary measures. It explains well how Wesker turned out the way he was. Due to these circumstances, he never learned what a functional family (or a family at all) is.

He has only a faint understanding from a scientific approach and research he was able to read up on, which granted him the insight of psychological effects of family ties which he would later use to manipulate and blackmail Barry during the Mansion Incident.

As a result, Wesker is emotionally underdeveloped. He has no way to even begin and grasp what empathy feels like, or friendship, let alone love. All he ever learned was to approach the world logically, analyze it and come to conclusions about whether or not something was useful to him and his goals or not. Everyone around him behaved the same, calculating and ruthless way - and if they didn't, disciplinary measures would be used to prove compassion as a weakness.

As a result of this learned behavior, Wesker's eyes would be naturally void of any expression; a perfect poker face, if you will. Not by choice, however, but rather due to his lack of feeling certain ranges of emotion.

The first time he would come into contact with people that would genuinely show emotions and speak about them openly would likely have been during his time in the army. At some point his comrades would have noticed the lack of emotion in his eyes, and it would either lead to a confrontation due to said lack of reaction to situations that otherwise would cause someone to act a certain way, or at least make people talk about him.

To avoid this, Wesker would start wearing sunglasses. Both so he could prevent people from feeling alienated by him, but also because he has trouble even comprehending why his eyes are such an issue to so many people.

The diary of Lord Spencer's Butler confirms the impression people have from looking into Wesker's eyes directly.

Therefore, when he takes his shades off around someone, it does bear some meaning. Be it trust, or at least letting his guard down somewhat. Maybe even for manipulative reasons.

[jemmo]

his man 2 ep 8 and 9 thoughts!!!! I started ranting bc a lot happened and I didn’t cover everything (ill rewatch later with my mom and sister) so ill put it under a read more, but tl;dr

POETIC CINEMA ^^^^^^^^^

there is…. so much to unpack. but let me start of with YES and YES. yes to everything about sungho and junsung’s date, and yes to everything about minsung and hyungjun’s date. and having them sandwich the date between yonghee and seonwoo shows me even more how different the vibe and interactions are, bc yonghee and seonwoo together had like this melancholy… idk how else to describe it, maybe bc seonwoo planned for this to be with sungho, but he just felt emotionally removed. I get that he might’ve felt unexpectedly weird bringing someone to where he works and those worlds clashing, but even after, it leaves me with a bad taste that yonghee was so forward and sharing and honest and when he tried to ask seonwoo something he couldn’t get a solid answer in return. the whole point of these two dating was to determine whether there was something there, and still seonwoo can’t give him anything to be certain about. and just when I felt like yonghee could start to look elsewhere, he’s tied down to these unanswered questions bc of the possibility there is something there. we’ve made no progress, and it’s frustrating.

and completely 180 to that… god. i could gush about that sungho and junsung date forever. it’s the way it felt both comfortable and familiar but also new and exciting, like they were the same people they’ve always been and didn’t let the pressure that this is a proper date effect their behaviour, and instead just let it feel exciting, let it take it’s course and see what happens, and i love that. i love that they could take nonsense and bicker and also talk about more serious things and there was never any tension. and just the closeness, the ease in each others presence, not even doing anything, just going to eat and chat and walk by the beach, like they don’t need an activity to bring them together or break the ice bc they’re past that. god it just felt so electric and soothing and I don’t know how that’s possible but I adored every second. and i cannot believe they then left us on the cliffhanger of what that voicemail is and then gave us that preview bc I don’t want to think about all the other mess, pls just let me be happy for now.

and sticking on being happy for now, minsung and hyungjun. minsung and hyungjunnnnnnnnn god it’s happening all over again. he may not be showing it as boldly as junsung did to sungho, but I know that hyungjun is down for minsung just as bad. the way he watches him and just smiles and is so endeared, god it’s sickening to watch people in love. but again, their date was so comfortable, the way you could see hyungjun trying so hard to do everything he wanted and express himself properly after being misunderstood before, and minsung being able to mess with him and tease him, like I can see them both endearing themselves to each other so well, it’s so good. and don’t even talk to me about them dozing off, don’t even talk about the list, don’t even talk about the dumb couple rings, it’s just too much I could scream. and I love love LOVE how minsung approached hyungjun after agreeing to hyungjin after refusing him, hyungjun worrying about the situation and him just saying just give me a yes or no, as to say don’t worry about others, that’s my stuff to deal with, but I’m making this decision so just respond to that, like… how good is that. minsung i adore you.

as for hyungjin and jungwook… sigh. a lot happened but i almost can’t bring myself to talk about it. the date was lovely, but the whole time my heart was breaking thinking that jungwook had planned this for yonghee, after that first date and them talking about dogs, like he really wanted to further that connection, it meant something to him, and that breaks me. and it breaks me that this misunderstanding muddies the comfort and encouragement he felt from hyungjin bc it clearly moved him, even though there’s no affection. I do appreciate hyungjin for wanting to clear that up and not have jungwook misunderstand his intent, but I just think the way hyungjin approached it, and approaches things generally, he can come off very serious mostly bc I think he does like to have things resolved, he doesn’t want to have these worries lingering, but jungwook is very chill, and I don’t think he’s offended at all by hyungjin clearing up that there’s no affection bc I don’t think he felt that either. it was very clear to him that this was friendly, so that being verbalised I don’t think hurt him, but for hyungjin to say he wouldn’t have gone on the date after the fact, I can see how that would hurt jungwook after sharing so much. it did feel like hyungjin was stepping in to something much more intimate that he wasn’t prepared for, and like he was experiencing something he shouldn’t be, like it wasn’t for him, but in the face of jungwook doing that anyway and sharing himself, yes clear up that it wasn’t with affection, but don’t then backtrack. I get that he doesn’t want to take it back and their meaning does get lost when they talk, he’s saying he wouldn’t have gone bc he didn’t want to create a situation that can be misunderstood. the mission card says invite a crush and by inviting him, that implies something so he’s saying I wouldn’t have gone with you bc I don’t feel that way. there’s good intent there, and I don’t think it is that deep, I just hope it doesn’t leave either of them feeling bad.

and finally, god I can’t believe I have to wait 2 full weeks to hear all these voicemails, but the ones we did get… wow. i was expecting hyungjin’s voicemail to be for either seonwoo or yonghee, and while I would’ve preferred yonghee bc I want someone to say those exact words to him, stop waiting around and explore other options, im also kinda glad it was for seonwoo, if only bc I want other people to play on his mind and keep him away from sungho, but then he does call him so I guess not. i mean… it’s pure opinion at this point, and I want seonwoo to keep away bc I like sungho with junsung so much, but I can’t exactly sit and complain that he’s sticking to him if he has genuine feelings, it just maddens me that I can never know what’s going on in sungho’s mind. I just know that when I hear that full voicemail of sungho to junsung next week I might cry. i mean… you’ve waited a long time??? god you know how to destroy both me and junsung. I’m just so glad junsung is actually getting these things now tho, that he has something to have faith and strength in that this isn’t all pointless. and the yonghee voicemail… I just adore him, and I can’t help feel like all his charm is wasted on seonwoo bc he is just so lovely, and I’m glad he is finding meaning and comfort in other relationships, and I’m so glad seonwoo didn’t get a voicemail from him bc it sends this ever so subtle message of he won’t go after you forever. those feelings can only be unwavering up to a point. look and sungho and junsung. idk if junsung would’ve given up if he got notbing back, but the fact he is getting signals in return gives him the faith to keep going. if seonwoo continues to not reciprocate in a meaningful way, I just need him to know that yonghee will not be there forever, and I hope that not getting a voicemail tells him that.

[kinmokusei-stars]

IT'S FINALLY DONE!! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

I've been working on this lovely template for DAYS, I really love how it turned out!

Before I get into Inu/Kou's relationship, credit to the person who made the original template! It's such a cute template and there are a lot of lovely colors to chose from! I used the transparent version but added a background and shifted some of the colors to fit better! I definitely recommend, but be sure to read the rules if you do use! 💚

Kouko and Inuyasha's relationship can best be described as balance.

They started off essentially indifferent to each other even if they were on the same team, though bickering about small things like bugs and other minor things did still happen, they weren't exactly close for a long time, even if Kouko had a base of respect for Inuyasha fullbred demons never got close to getting from her. For a long time, she was just another member of the team to him, nothing more, nothing less.

Things changed near entirely when after a massive confrontation with Kikyo, Kouko followed Inuyasha out to where he was trying to recuperate, from the event, and instead of beckoning him back to the group, offered him out a bowl of warm soup, and sits to give her condolences to how things played out between the two of them.

That was the first spark of compassion between the two, and it really just went from there. Though they still had funny moments, seeing more of Inuyasha's story and being able to find ways to sympathize and connect with him through talking through grief gave her a new outlook on him, and him somebody who finally recognized and understood just how deeply he was effected by his loss.

Kouko is essentially his opposite, being stoic and mellow, she's incredibly emotionally intelligent, even if she's stubborn in her goal of finding the demon who killed her family and lets herself get caught up in it from time to time to give herself some sort of purpose. She's both passionate and intuitive, though sometimes her past will get the better of her, and she'll hit a rough spot.

These rough spots usually end up in her falling into wondering if continuing her journey is worth it, and during those times, she tends to be a lot more quiet and isolated while she starts having second thoughts.

But during her most recent one after the confrontation with Kikyo, the tables turned, and though he was begrudging, Inuyasha sat down next to her while she was lost in thought fishing, and asked her what was wrong. Once she said she was considering giving up, he had to sit there surprised for a moment, before essentially confidently listing off every reason he could think of that she should keep hunting.

Her reassuring his feelings and him keeping her fire ablaze started their bonding even stronger than before, and though it was slow at first, they bit by bit build up a foundation of understanding and trust.

And then feelings started. And oh my god was it messy. LMAO

Neither were exactly sure where they very first started, though it definitely made things odd for a good while. They had already started looking at eachother in a different light after helping eachother in tough moments, but to suddenly have thoughts of romance come into the equation? It left them floundering for a good month or two.

Kouko hadn't properly had anybody romantically in ages, and clearly Inuyasha was, mentally at least, fresh out of losing Kikyo, plus a couple other factors? It was a clumsy situation.

For a while, they agreed to try and keep it silent and not let it effect them or act on it. But obviously that didn't work forever.

Down the line, now that they are officially together, their bond is intense, and Inuyasha is the fire to Kouko's water. She keeps him grounded and feeling secure, and he keeps her passionate and ready to take on life, they bring out the best in each other, and in general have a mellow, sweet relationship.

She never blames him for still loving Kikyo, she understands that it's still a fresh wound to him, she's not upset or sad over it in the slightest, after all, it's not as if she didn't know the situation beforehand. Just as he won't judge her over her past, she won't judge him over his, the most she'll do is help ease his mind about the whole matter, and assure him that it's normal for him to still feel that way. Any reassurance he needs, she'll give him, and that's a two way street.

That being said, they aren't the most publicly affectionate. The most they're seen doing when around the others is holding hands, and even that's only on occasion, but that doesn't mean they're not close in private. It's fairly often that Kouko will discreetly wave him over to come sleep next to her, and they'll wake up cuddled up (Check the image for spoon placements LMAO) in the morning before going back to venturing like usual.

Someday after all Naraku is defeated, they'll likely settle down, but for now, they're still running around. They'll get there someday LMAO

𝗡𝗼𝘄 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴:

"Dizzy on The Comedown - Turnover"

01:23 ━━━━●───── 03:43

ㅤ ㅤ◁ㅤ ❚❚ ㅤ▷ ㅤㅤ

---˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹❀♡❀˖⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹---

[picathartidae]

random OC ask: how does your OC express affection? how does it vary based on the relationship in question?

Alassane is not an affectionate person by nature, and has used physical intimacy as an intimidation tactic more than anything. Even after he’s had his character development and isn’t being an omnicidal maniac, he finds it kind of difficult to be genuine and can get super awkward when he tries. He’s relatively unsure of himself and keenly aware of his own potentially violent sanity slippage, so doesn’t want to get anyone else involved. Those walls get thrown up at a moment’s notice and are not the easiest to break down. 

There’s also the fact that the ways he shows affection are also the same things he does when trying to manipulate people, just with different intentions. It’s what comes naturally to him and I don’t think he knows how else to act. 

He’s pretty tactile with his closest, most emotionally intimate relationships (basically, the people he’s ride-or-die for); which is really just Karlach and Astarion. Though he tends to approach people more on their terms.

For example, he leans against Karlach and rests his head on her shoulder and presses himself against her and is generally very heavy on the physical contact, but that’s more because he knows she’s touch-starved and finds more comfort in that. With Astarion, it’s much gentler. He’s very slow and deliberate with how they interact; because it’s more about consent and allowing Astarion to set boundaries as he needs them. Things like caressing him with his tail and holding hands and playing with his hair and just sleeping next to him. Lots of non-sexual closeness.

If it’s someone he sees more as a mentor/authority figure (Jaheira, Halsin, and even Minsc, to an extent), he keeps a respectful distance. It’s a much bigger capitulation on his part than it initially seems – Alassane historically put a lot of effort in creating distance between himself and others as a way to assert his superiority (he frequently pretended to be a germaphobe as an excuse to enforce distance). If he’s allowing someone else that space, he’s showing them the respect he used to demand from everyone else.

Generally, he’s eminently practical, and does things that he can pretend is for a different reason. He’s not at all comfortable with being vulnerable and showing people that he likes them, and will try to hide it behind something else. A big way he ends up bonding with Wyll is by acknowledging his transformation into a fiend and giving him very blunt, practical advice in regards to appropriate diets and horn care. He starts regularly sparring with Lae’zel after the crèche which helps take both their minds off the situation while also keeping their skills sharp. He and Shadowheart have a silent mutual agreement to listen to each other vent without judgement. He throws every scroll he finds at Gale and asks about everything even remotely magical they come across even when he possibly already knows the answer just to let Gale info-dump. That kind of thing.

Another thing he does that shows his affection – which is maybe not so great but oh well – is his willingness to verbally eviscerate the people he cares about if he thinks they’re making a bad decision. He’s usually big on trusting people to make their own decisions, but sometimes… well. Sometimes he feels very strongly about it. Post-amnesia Alassane is pretty entrenched in his desperate desire to be liked by people, so if he’s at a point where he’s willing to put that on the line and tell you, point blank, that you’re being an idiot, actually, it’s effectively a love confession. He only brings out the aggressive tough-love with people he’s invested in and doesn’t want to see self-destruct. Does not pull his punches, though. He will deeply hurt you if he thinks it will save you.

[theambitiouswoman]

SHADOW WORK

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is basically unearthing things that are in our sub-conscious. Tapping into our inner child to resolve our adult obstacles. You don't have to have a traumatic childhood in order to do this. the purpose of shadow work is simply to become a better version of ourselves and rediscover who we truly are, before all of the layers of reality we have created for ourselves.

However you processed any childhood experience, taught you the qualities that you have developed today. There for, if you want to grow and evolve you really need to understand why you aren't where you want to be and what personality traits are either conflicting, or you can improve on.

Shadow work is more about understanding yourself and reprogramming your mind. Obviously healing is a big part of it, but healing isn't always from trauma or experiences that we don't view as inherently bad. Nothing has to be bad. It's about having a deep understanding of our actions.

Are you who/where you want to be? Because even if you don’t have any traumas what’s gotten you where you are is who you are now and to get to another level then we need to evolve and change. Can’t do the same thing and expect different results. Life is all about constant growth. It’s never easy to stay stagnant if we’re not focused on evolving and understanding our personal patterns.

How it works

Essentially, shadow work is just having an honest conversation with yourself. You really have to confront your own feelings. So the more emotionally detached or hardened you are. The more you are scared of your feelings, the harder it is (also most life changing).

So for example a general starting off question would be:

'Do i lack compassion' and your ego self will probably immediately respond: " of course not i'm so compassionate and perfect" but really think about it. There have been times in your life where you haven't been compassionate. We are all human. And as you write about those experiences, you will discover why you weren't compassionate- right or wrong- and how you felt during those times to cause you to not be compassionate- and ultimately, your mind will bring up an early on experience in yourself that exposes you to when you were first put in a situation where you experienced those feelings that caused you to react that way.

With everything, there are always things we do that hurt us, or don't hurt us. and this has everything to do with the intent or feelings behind it that makes all the difference. and we want to work on the ones that were based on negative feelings, or brought out negative feelings in us.

These honest conversations you have, in the form of journaling by answering questions, will first, obviously make you admit to yourself how you really feel, and materialize the problem on paper.

When you do this, it causes a ripple effect in your brain and your mind will start reliving /reminding you situations that aligned (root cause) from whenever x started.

For example, basically all of my adult problems started with my parents. How they treated me and how i felt in certain situations. These things taught me that certain bad behaviors were normal and okay because my parents who love me, exposed me to them. But they were not okay. and caused alot of problems for me growing up. When you are a child, you don't know right wrong left or right. You just know what you are taught.

So when i answer journal prompts, a few days later ill start remembering things from my past. or if a situation arises that's similar- it all of a sudden CLICKS for me in my head. and i'm like okay, this is the issue, and this isn't okay and i need to handle this differently now. Some times its things you "know" but really you just know how you feel. Not why you feel that way, or why its happening.

Doing shadow work has really helped me understood all of these things. Understand whats wrong. and more importantly, forgive myself. For both my consciously bad actions and the ones that i didn't even understand were bad- growing up.

More importantly, it allowed me to heal and become a better woman.

You are not suppose to live permanently hardened by your experiences. Your heart isn't suppose to be cold. Being "strong" is not a flex. You're miserable and lying to yourself. At some point it is your responsibility to forgive yourself, heal and understand what it is about you and all your qualities that allowed you to be in those positions what you need to work on, and figure out what experiences you had early on that shaped you, so you receive new energies and experiences moving forward.

My biggest obstacles were trust and vulnerability so a lot of my personal journey was centered around that- it was also the hardest for me to work through.

But you guys have to really be honest and vulnerable with yourself. Throw the paper away after you journal if you want, but you have to put yourself out there with yourself.

Healing is about learning how to feel a wide variety of emotions + teaching the body how to feel safe in stability or a state of ease.

This is a website i used for journal prompts. There are loads others you can find with a quick google search.

[takohebi]

It takes two (to hold hands)

Azul Ashengrotto/Jamil Viper

Word count:  1732

Summary:  Forced into physical proximity with his annoying classmate, Jamil Viper comes to an alarming conclusion

Ao3 Link

fic under the cut-

“Yeay! We are all together~”

Floyd sat down on Azul’s left, throwing his full weight on the cecaelia. Azul slid sharply, bumping shoulders with Jamil next to him. Before the two of them could right themselves, Jade sat on Jamil’s side, effectively trapping him.

“My, it is such a rare occasion that we all have class together. A pity Kalim-san couldn't join as well.”

“Jade, could you move-” Jamil started.

“Hmm, what is it, Riddle-san? You need my notes for something?”

Jade had turned away from Jamil, apparently engrossed in a deep conversation with Riddle. Jamil turned towards Azul and glared , as if it was his fault that both of them were sitting so close, arms practically glued to each other. Next to Azul, Floyd’s head was already resting on the desk. If he was sleepy, he’d be really stubborn about moving or adjusting seats. Best to leave him alone for now.

Jamil glanced at Azul once again, thinking of some way to vent his frustration-

Too close… Azul was too close to him. Jamil could even catch a whiff of his cologne. Biting the inside of his cheek to suppress any useless thoughts, Jamil’s eyes flicked over to Azul’s face.

Jamil’s heart skipped a beat seeing the pink in Azul’s cheeks. The usually perky and annoying smile was gone, replaced by a quieter, more contemplative expression. Jamil wasn’t sure if that was an improvement.

Azul didn’t look at Jamil at all, instead looking over his notes with an intense look of concentration. There was barely a couple of centimeters between them. Suddenly the classroom felt stifling.

Trein was talking but Jamil could hardly pay attention, his mind choosing to focus on every single movement Azul made. From his breathing to the movement of his fingers tapping away to an unknown tune on his lap.

For some reason that irritated Jamil. He wanted to know what was the song Azul was thinking about.

Jamil’s own hand was resting on the seat, a bulwark between himself and his exceedingly annoying classmate. But not for too long-

“Ne, Jade~ can you lend me your pen? I forgot to bring mine, aha!”

Floyd reached out towards Jade who politely passed a pen to Floyd with a soft laugh. As he withdrew, Jamil belatedly realised that Floyd’s actions caused Azul to lean in even closer into Jamil’s personal space and in an infuriating turn of events, Azul’s hand was now on top of his!!

Jamil’s cheeks were burning. He dearly wished to subject the entire classroom to the same temperature as he was feeling.

He turned towards Azul again, seeing if he’d have a smug smile on his face that he always did when he messed around with Jamil and his thoughts.

He looked at Azul just in time to see him swallow, his adam’s apple moving in a mesmerizing manner. Azul’s left hand was covering his mouth and he was still looking staunchly ahead. But he was blinking rapidly and Jamil had a feeling Azul wasn’t really paying attention to the lecture.

Azul’s right hand twitched slightly, involuntarily. The movement heighted Jamil’s awareness of the ever decreasing space between himself and Azul.

Not just in terms of physical distance but also emotionally. Ever since they became classmates, a very odd bond had developed between them. Azul would pester Jamil for things like joining Octavinelle, and Jamil would refuse immediately. Despite their bickering, they sat together for class everyday and paired up for laboratory sessions.

Because Azul was the only one Jamil felt like he could be himself with. It was relieving, to be able to say whatever snarky and rude comments that passed through his head without suppressing them. To openly vent his frustrations without caring if anyone got hurt. And Azul took everything in his stride, often making a light-hearted joke about the whole situation, causing Jamil to almost smile. Azul was irritating, annoying, a thorn by his side. But he was by his side constantly, unwaveringly.

Jamil would never admit it openly but he had begun to enjoy Azul’s jokes, his snide remarks about other students, his capabilities as a competent mage and just his company. There were times when they pored over a bunch of reference books as they made a difficult potion. Neither spoke, as they were completely focused on their assignment, but having someone as clever as him to help out silently made Jamil’s job much easier. Needless to say, they always scored top marks and received generous praise from Crewel. It felt good to have someone as reliable as Azul as his partner…

Azul’s gloved thumb gently swiped against his own, jolting Jamil out of his daydreaming. It was a soft and subtle action but Jamil felt as if he was set aflame by it. From the corner of his eye he quickly looked at Azul yet again and was shocked to see Azul watching him. Jamil inhaled sharply. He must maintain his composure. It wouldn't do to expose a weakness to Azul.

Spite rose in Jamil. How dare he try to fluster him like so? Frowning slightly, Jamil nudged his thumb against Azul’s. He was blushing, sure, but he wasn’t going to let Azul get away with this. In the periphery of Jamil’s vision, he saw Azul take off his glasses and run his left hand over his face. Good.

A few moments later, Jamil felt a weight against his shoulder. Azul was leaning on him. Slightly, yes. But in this situation, every small thing either of them did was being felt keenly.

Not to be outdone, Jamil leaned back. He realised only a minute later that he was holding hands with Azul while leaning on to him. It felt… intimate. To Jamil’s horror, his body refused to comply to his mind’s demands to stop this endeavour at once. Azul’s weight felt warm and comforting. And Jamil liked this.

He decided to not look at Azul anymore, lest he lured Jamil into doing more foolish things. This was far enough. No more.

Azul moved his hand slightly and his fingers interlocked with Jamil’s. He didn’t attempt to actually hold Jamil’s hand. His fingers simply fell loosely in the spaces between Jamil’s own.

Jamil did not know his face could get even hotter. At this rate he’d look like he had a fever. Yes, perhaps he really did have a fever for he tentatively turned his hand under Azul’s and mimicked Azul’s earlier action. Now their hands were well and truly intertwined.

All this time, Trein was droning on and on and the only sounds besides the teacher and the occasional mews of his familiar were the scratching of pens and shuffling of papers. Jamil had noted earlier that despite whatever was happening between him and Azul, the latter was still writing down things.  

But Jamil realised only now that Azul was using his left hand to write. In the 2 years that Jamil knew Azul, he’d only seen Azul write with right hand. And now he was coolly putting up a front  of  the model student using a different hand while his right gently squeezed Jamil’s. It seemed like while it was an accident that Azul's hand came to be where it is at the moment, its continued presence on top of Jamil's was a deliberate move.

Suddenly Jamil wished he could go back to his room. His feelings were turbulent, volatile. He wanted this moment to never end but also wanted it to end quickly so things can return to normal . Azul was confusing him. Jamil can’t believe Azul would like him. Jamil offered no merit to Azul. Sure, Azul keeps asking him to join Octavinelle but it was simply to flaunt him like a trophy.

Right?

There cannot be any other reason.

And yet, here they were, hands laced together- almost tenderly. Both of them blushing and avoiding each other’s eyes. Why? Azul was the one who initiated. Jamil reciprocated, yes. But why?

Jamil was honestly scared to know why. To name a reason for their behaviour. He wondered if the tweels planned this. If they did, then did Azul ask them to? So many questions…

Azul’s gentle pressure on his hand brought Jamil back to reality from his wandering thoughts. He gave in and decided to spare a final glance towards Azul, hoping he’d find some kind of answer in his face.

Grey met blue as they both locked eyes.

Jamil’s heart raced as he saw Azul look at him with such a vulnerable expression in his eyes. His brows were furrowed slightly, mouth set in a hard line but his eyes- they seemed to be pleading. Jamil did not know what was he asking for but felt like he’d readily give it to him if he asked.

He wondered what kind of expression was he making. What was Azul seeing right now? And what was he thinking? Does Azul see a tarnished mage, bound by duties, responsibilities and chains that have and will continue to dog him throughout his life. Is Azul feeling pity or pride, seeing Jamil ensnared by him? Literally in his hand right now. More questions that Jamil did not want to know the answers for.

Azul’s lips parted. He was about to say something when the bell rang. And just like that, the magic was lost. Jamil snatched back his hand and Azul did the same, albeit more slowly. Jamil tore his eyes from Azul’s and hurriedly began to pack up his stationery and books.

Suddenly the world came into focus. Somehow for the past 30 minutes, Jamil had blocked every other sound, every other person but Azul. Now they were all making their presence known, almost overwhelming Jamil’s senses.

Jade’s voice, mixed with Riddle’s as they discussed some assignments. Floyd’s drawl wafted towards him… he was asking something about basketball. Jamil mechanically asked him to repeat it, as he tried to pry Azul off his mind.

When the 5 of them exited the classroom, Jamil finally felt he was able to breathe again. They all parted, going different ways to different destinations. Jamil was finally alone, as he walked briskly towards the Mirror room.

But his body felt a bit cold. His shoulder missed the weight from earlier. His hands especially felt oddly empty and… incomplete.

Jamil grew irritated.

It seemed like he had a crush on Azul Ashengrotto.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Where’s my white flag? (Bucky x reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count 2620

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, depression, worthlessness

Summary: Reader is on the roof experiencing suicidal ideation and Bucky talks her down from it. 

A/N: Please, PLEASE, if you think this will do more harm than good, skip this one. I don’t want to harm anyone in their journey, but writing comfort helps me feel as if I am getting it. I hope that you can feel some too, because people do care. If you feel similar ways to this fic, please reach out, you're not alone. As always, my messages are open too. <3

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @abitgryffindorky @thatfangirl42

---------------

It was a gorgeous night, really. It was a warm summer night, a light breeze blowing your hair. The sky was clear, stars scattered across it. The moon was bright, and the streets weren’t too loud for New York. The buildings lit up the streets, and even in the busy city setting, it wasn’t as harsh as it could be sometimes. It really was beautiful.

Especially looking over it from the roof of Stark Tower. 

You knew you weren’t doing yourself a favor, sitting with your legs over the edge gazing out at the streets below. You knew it wasn’t the best choice for your mentality. Not that you cared much anyway.

See, life had been less than kind to you recently. You loved your family, the Avengers, and being on the team. But one day, doubts and stress had crept in. you don’t know why or when exactly it happened but soon the bad days became bad weeks. It wasn’t long before a good day came as a surprise, and lately you had stopped hoping that they would come. You were used to this numb depression. That didn’t mean you enjoyed it.

But you never thought you’d ever be able to get out of it.

You knew the team loved you, you knew you were good at what you did. But even so, every night you somehow found yourself doubting your worth and questioning your abilities. You had been able to hide behind fake smiles for some time, but soon it became easier to hide in your room. No one to hide from, no reason to hide. 

You felt like you were living on borrowed time. You didn’t know when living became a chore and not just...living. Most people will find work boring or basic chores undesirable. But for you the basics of living as a human had become too much for you. Exhausted from the slightest interactions or basic human needs.

Your emotions would slide from one extreme to the other or disappear entirely. Feeling too much or nothing at all. It’s one thing to be trapped in a place physically. It’s another when your body is the cage and somewhere you had lost the key.

Which is why you found yourself out here on the roof. Again. You’d been coming up here  more and more recently, driven to desperation. You never knew if you would ever go through with it. If there would ever be a time you would actually jump, or if every time would be chalked up to getting fresh air. You put a lot of thought into it and this was the best way you could think of to end your pain. Yet even though you wanted to die, you never quite felt like you could ever do it. 

Not necessarily that you wanted to die - more so you just didn’t want to live the life you had been given. It was too painful. And you were tired of fighting for something that had proved to you that it wasn’t going to work out. 

You had people, a family. No matter how much you doubted your worth, you know it would have an impact on them. Tony would overwork himself in the lab. Natasha would shut down emotionally. Steve and Bucky would blame themselves even though it had nothing to do with them. They were the reason you had been able to stay for so long.

But they wouldn’t think that. They would only see that you were gone and blame themselves for not noticing. Even though they had been - checking in on you or having you sit out missions out of worry of the risks you took. They cared about you, and you didn’t want to hurt them.

But lately, the pain of everything building up had begun to outweigh the worry of the impact you would have on them.

It was better this way

They’d be better off

You wouldn’t be in pain anymore.

Just lean forward, close your eyes and -

“Y/n?” you heard a familiar voice behind you.

You let out a small breath before opening your eyes. You knew who it was. Without turning around you replied with a small “Hey Bucky.”

You looked up from the ground, still not looking at him. “Beautiful night isn’t it?”

Bucky started walking towards you nervously. He had noticed how withdrawn you had been but he never imagined….swallowing, he asked “What are you doing out here?”

You merely shrugged, still not meeting his eyes. You still weren’t sure how tonight would end. “Just clearing my head I guess.” you replied with. You spoke as if you were sitting on the kitchen counter with your legs dangling over. As if you weren’t over 1,000 feet above the city streets below.

Swallowing nervously again at seeing your feet dangling over the edge, he cleared his throat. “Can I sit with you?”

You nodded, still unable to look at him as he sat down next to you. You knew the emotion would be overwhelming if you did. He felt his heart rate pick up looking over the edge, knowing that a wrong move from either of you would certainly be lethal. “Do you want to go inside and talk?”

You were silent. 

“Why don’t we move back a little bit, it’s pretty dangerous to be this close to the edge.”

“I know,” you said, finally meeting his eyes. “That’s kind of the point,” you said almost emotionlessly. Bucky looked back at you, eyebrows creased in concern. You held the edge of the roof in your hands tightly, knuckles turning white. You looked back down at the streets below. “You ever think about dying?” you asked suddenly, emotion starting to grow inside you as you felt tears prick your eyes from being so vulnerable. No going back now.

“Y/n, why don’t we go inside, we -”

“I know I wouldn’t want to drown” you looked at him and shook your head. “Slow and painful. Not for me. I’ve thought about pills but it isn’t always effective and I could just end up getting really sick, and depending on the medication it could be painful.” you laughed bitterly as tears filled your eyes, looking back out at the skyline. “Some people think you take meds and fall asleep but it’s not always like that. I know if I died I would want it to be quick. A gunshot, snapping my neck…” you paused for a moment, letting the tears spill over. “...Falling off a building.”.

Bucky could feel his heart pounding in his chest at your words, breaking at how casually you talked about this and how much thought you had given it. “Do you think about it a lot?” he asked, voice wavering from anxiety. 

You swallowed dryly as you felt Bucky’s eyes on you. “A gunshot is the easiest. It’s messy, but it’s certain. But if I did that then one of you would be the first to find me, and no one would ever want to go in the training room again. It’s nearly impossible to snap your own neck. But if I jump…” you tilted your head back and forth a little. “The public finds me first. You wouldn’t be the first to see me.”

You took a deep breath and brought your eyes back to his. “I think about it every goddamn day.”

Bucky took a deep breath. You started to stand up and Bucky did too, nervous at what you were going to do. He reached out his hand to try to grab you but you swatted it away, walking away from the edge slightly and turning your back to him.

“Y/n, talk to me, let me try to help you.” he said. “Please,” he added, desperation threading his voice. 

You turned around, arms crossed. “You can’t help me, no one can help me.” you shook your head. “Every day I wake up and it’s the same shit. It's the same tiring life and routine, over and over. It’s the same feeling 24/7. There’s no escape from it, there’s no break.” you started getting more passionate and put your arms out. “Even if I could get a break I’d come back to the same shit at some point. There’s no escaping my life and my feelings, I can’t turn off my mind.” your voice was rising through tears of frustration. “I don’t want this life anymore, okay? I want to die but I can’t do it. No matter how much I want to, I CAN’T! Where’s my fucking white flag?!” you shook your head again. “When do I get to tap out? I can’t do this anymore!” you shouted. “I’m tired of fighting for a life that I will NEVER have!”

Bucky looked at you sadly, knowing all too well the feeling of craving an escape. He walked closer to you, you trying to walk away. He grabbed your hand and you wrestled out of it. He came closer and grabbed you by your shoulders more firmly trying to bring you into a hug. “Get the fuck off.” you said, trying to get away, punching his chest. It didn’t affect him, and he just kept trying to hold you still despite your wrestling figure. Eventually your anger melted into agony, as you let out sobs against his chest, giving into the embrace.

“Please, just let me die…”

“It’s not your time yet,” he whispered.

You began crying harder and he held you protectively, whispering “I got you. It’s okay.”

He kept repeating that and hushing you, keeping his arms tightly around you, supporting you. “I don’t want to do this anymore…” you sobbed into his chest. 

“I know,” he said, his voice cracking. He cradled your head against his chest. “I know.”

After standing there for a few more moments, he said “Let’s get you inside. It's going to be okay.”

And with that, he moved to pick you up, doing so with ease. You hid your face against his chest, trying to contain your cries. You were embarrassed to be so emotional. Luckily for you, your room was close to the elevator and seeing as it was early morning now, no one was roaming the halls. 

He brought you into your room and sat down on the bed, still holding you in his lap. You were still crying, both from the situation and out of shame for being so vulnerable. He still held you tightly, whispering comforting words to you and breathing steadily. Eventually you were able to find your own rhythm, still crying softly. It wasn’t until now that you realized how badly you were shaking. 

After a few minutes of silence, Bucky began to speak. “I just want you to listen, okay?” when you nodded he continued. “I know that you might not believe me but I felt the same way once. Remembering everything I did as the Winter Soldier and the nightmares, they just...wouldn’t stop. Remembering was the worst part. Knowing what I did, even if I didn’t have control, made day and night hell. I couldn’t make it stop.” Your eyes filled with tears, knowing how much he blamed himself. 

“I couldn’t control the memories and the nightmares. I couldn’t avoid my metal arm. It was a constant reminder of everything they made me do. And I didn’t want to feel the guilt that I did. But death wasn’t the answer.” he guided your face to look at his. “Death is never the answer. The memories stay, but the guilt fades.”

 “You are such a good person.” when you scoffed he added “I know these feelings and thoughts tell you you’re not but you are. I know it may seem like it will never end, but it can get easier. You don’t have to be okay, you don’t have to be strong for us. But taking away your chance at every future good experience by permanently preventing the bad ones isn’t worth it.”

Your eyes filled with fresh tears. “Sometimes it feels like it’s all about pros and cons. Like no good experience could outweigh the pain of all of this.” you let the tears fall and shook your head. “Life isn’t supposed to hurt.”

He hugged you tightly. “No one asks for pain, no one asks for this. It’s not your fault that you feel this way and it’s okay. But it can get better, I promise.”

You cried into his chest. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“There’s no right thing to do. You don’t have to do this alone. I’m here for you, and I know the whole team would be too if you needed them to be. You’re not weak, you’re not stupid. You’re going to get through this, because you are strong.”

“I just…” you started, shaking your head a little. “This was never supposed to happen. I don’t know why I can’t control it anymore. It’s been bad for a while but I was always able to function and push down this type of thing. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where I went wrong.”

Bucky shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You can’t control it. These things happen, there doesn’t always have to be a reason. Emotions are what they are and our own minds can be our worst enemy. We know the best way to hurt ourselves, we know what our weaknesses are. Sometimes our minds take advantage of that.”

You moved to look at him. “How did you make it stop? You said it got easier, how did you do it? How do you turn it off?”

“It’s not quite that simple. I know deep down that I wasn’t in control. It was what HYDRA had created that killed those people, not the human I was before. And I tried to remind myself that I still had the person I was before HYDRA in me, somewhere. And slowly I tried to find who I used to be to help create who I could be. I don’t know if that makes sense -”

“It does,” you said as you leaned into his chest again. you squeezed your eyes shut. “Thank you.”

“Anytime. I’m always here to help you okay?” you nodded. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep, and we can talk in the morning, okay?” you nodded again, and Bucky gave you another hug before standing up. You lied down, you being too tired to care about changing out of your day clothes. They were comfortable enough. 

Bucky, not wanting to leave you alone, went to go sit in a chair. He didn’t want to cross any boundaries. Before he could sit down though, you sat up and turned to him. 

“Can you lay with me please?” Bucky nodded. “Yeah, of course.” He took off his shoes and climbed into the other side of the bed, giving you some space. You moved to be flush against his chest, his heartbeat soothing to you. “Thank you,” you said softly

“No need to thank me.” He said softly, wrapping his arms around you, making you feel protected. “I should be thanking you.” He added

“For what?” You asked, confused.

“For not giving up.”

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, Charity! Is it exclusively a Fe aux thing to be affected by everyone else’s mood, but not do anything to change the situation/make it better?

Are you a 9 by any chance? 9s effectively pick up everything like a sponge (especially when paired with Fe), but since they are part of the withdrawn triad, they don't assume that it's their job to do anything about it or alter the situation. They tend to passively absorb and observe and let others step in to resolve things (unless it involves diffusing tension so that they, the 9, are not anxious).

I’ve seen Fe doms taking charge of the situation to make everyone feel better and I assume that TPs simply don’t care/are not affected by the emotional “aura” unless they’re looping/gripping.

EFJs have a strong need to bring people into emotional harmony and put them on the same page, yes. In a way, it's both out of concern for people's feelings and the unconscious realization that cooperation enables them to accomplish their intended outcome.

Being a Fe aux, I hate dealing with everyone else’s problem (if I’m able to run simply to avoid the drama, I’ll), but I can’t avoid being affected, especially if we’re sharing the same environment. Do you have any advice on how to detach myself a little bit better from people’s moods/problems? I’m dealing with a lot of stressful situations lately and it’s been hard because I have my own stuff AND others’ to deal with. I see Fi users just shrugging and doing their own thing while the world is ending and I wish I could learn something from you guys.

IFJs and especially IFJ 9s have to learn to stop reacting emotionally and start thinking more in terms of identifying what is their emotions and what is being gathered/reflected from the emotions of those around them -- to do that means separating yourself from what is happening and seeking solitude in order to use Ti to analyze and deconstruct your feelings and those of other people (is this coming from me or them? do I really even care about this? <- do this without passing judgment on yourself, like if I don't care, I'm a bad person; not caring doesn't make you bad, it means you don't care).

It's also important to spend time alone identifying what your goal and intentions are for a situation -- what you want and what you intend to accomplish, so that you have a clear view of where you are headed and won't get swamped by what other people want from you.

Lastly, if you are a 9 and I am guessing it's with a 1 wing... super-ego types (1/2/6) take on things that are not their problem. It's important for you to ask yourself, "is this mine to do/think about/solve/fix"? Often the answer is no. It doesn't make you a bad person to let other people deal with their own problems, to draw boundaries, or to allow yourself not to think about their problems in favor of your own.

[autisticandroids]

yknow those episodes where a character's whole personality gets split into 3-5 different distinct separate bodies? what bodies would cas have? I feel like it'd just be a mess tbh, imagine 5 different castiels all of them loving dean to a certain extent but showing it VASTLY differently. one cas would literally want to murder the others lmao

okay so i don’t actually think this trope would be an effective tool for analyzing cas? he’s not conflicted enough in himself. he’s too impulsive, too singleminded, too uninhibited. like, in the end, cas always ends up doing whatever he wants. there aren’t multiple discrete voices vying for control, really, or rather, if there are, one is always significantly stronger than the others. like in the end cas will always end up eating raw meat off the floor, you know? he’ll do what he wants. if i was going to do personality splitting i’d do it to someone intensely internally conflicted, like dean.

however, because i’m in an essay writing mood today, i’ll answer a question slightly to the left of the one you asked. cas may not be internally conflicted, but he is intensely changeable. these two things are related, actually; the same impulsivity and singlemindedness that mean he doesn’t have a ton of internal conflict at any given time mean that different ideas sound good to him at different times, because he isn’t really thinking about, say, what future-him will think of them. and he’s not really trying to maintain an image or identity. he’s just doing what feels right at the time, which is very different at different times and in different situations.

anyway, that in mind, i think a lot about ways to bring together many alternate versions of cas which sort of correspond to different times in the show.

i have a fic in my head about a bunch of cas-es pulled from alternate timelines by some kind of spell. so this would be set during the widower arc because the basic impulse here is to show dean a very bad time. just absolutely put him through hell. also, all the alternate timelines are different because different stuff happened, not because cas made different choices, because if we’re torturing dean it has to be like 5x04, the changes in cas can’t be cas’ fault. they have to be dean’s or just like, the universe’s (which makes them dean’s).

so dean is trying to bring cas back, and he finds some kind of spell that can bring someone “from another world.” and he tries it because hey. can’t hurt to try. anyway i’ve thought a long time about different versions of cas i would put in this and here is what i have. in order of when the timeline split off.

- a cas who never raised dean from hell. think 14x13 “lebanon.” this one i’m not too sure about, like, this could be fun, but i don’t know if it’s different enough from the next one. like this castiel would have lived through the averted apocalypse and subsequent general fuckery that happened as an angelic footsoldier, which would actually be pretty interesting now that i think about it, especially since all that stuff would have gone down soooooooo differently without cas specifically for your average angel footsoldier. like cas has PERSONALLY caused more upheaval in heaven in twelve years of spn than there seems to have been in millennia. so he would be the point of view of a normal footsoldier from a totally other world.

- a cas who died mid season four, and is pulled out of the empty in 2017 by this spell. i’m not sure when this cas died. my thoughts are (1) killed in on the head of a pin by alistair, (2) killed during his torture in the rapture, or (3) simply never resurrected after lucifer rising. (3) makes the most sense, but that cas has already thrown away everything for dean. i prefer the idea of a cas who loves dean, is already on the brink of disobedience for him, but has not yet taken the plunge. both on the head of a pin and the rapture are great places for this, and they both have strengths and weaknesses. if he died in the rapture, he was killed by heaven, which is fundamentally more fun, but he was also really very much over the edge already. if he died in on the head of a pin, he wasn’t killed by heaven, but he is perfectly teetering on the brink of falling for dean. regardless of when he died, the purpose of this cas is to be horrified at all the various and myriad ways he has destroyed and corrupted himself for dean in the other timelines.

- possibly endverse cas, who would have died in 2014, but like s4 cas, would have been pulled from the afterlife by the spell. i’m not so sure on this one. we as a society love endverse cas but i dunno what purpose he would serve. maybe endverse cas didn’t die in 2014, and instead was imprisoned by lucifer, because, you know. he’s the only brother lucifer has left. so he is very excited to see dean alive and well, since his dean is dead, and, not being an angel, cas can’t bring him back. the purpose of this cas would be to horrify dean that cas loves him and needs him so much, and to disgust the other cas-es with his neediness.

- a cas who was in some way on better terms with dean during s6. maybe dean and cas ride off into the sunset together after swan song instead of dean going to live with lisa, maybe dean prayed to cas while he was with lisa because he missed him, who knows. either way, cas has dean’s help with the angel revolution in season six from the start, and never goes to crowley. the plan cas and dean come up with to beat raphael includes breaking into the cage and stealing the grace of michael and lucifer, freeing sam and adam in the process. incidentally, it also involves cas possessing dean, because if cas is gonna eat archangel grace to become more powerful, he’s going to need a stronger vessel. so cas and dean have a whole like. midam situation happening. they’re a double archangel together, and godstiel never happened so none of the other terrible apocalypses that stemmed from that happened, and everything is pretty cool where they’re from, and also they’re obviously uhhhhhh SOME kind of together. the purpose of this cas is to upset dean because this cas shows how much better everything could have been and how much better his and cas’ relationship could have been if dean had simply been more considerate of cas in s6, and also freak dean out with how uh. close. this dean and cas are.

- a godstiel who managed to swallow purgatory without swallowing the leviathans and remained god. he’s probably soooomewhat less scary and murdery than canonverse godstiel because no leviathans, so you know, not as many angel purges or massacres on earth. and he probably went and fixed sam’s wall within about three days because cas is prideful but he does NOT like it when dean is mad at him. so they did kiss and make up, and so this cas would have had dean to act as his morality chain. but he’s still very scary and godstiel. and also he refers to dean as “The Beloved” you know. his purpose is to freak everyone out, because he’s scary, but also, for the past cas-es, because he is a terrifying abomination that they could never imagine becoming, for the future cas-es, because he is a reminder of their worst selves, and for dean, because he is a reminder of how dangerous cas is, but also because he uh. obviously has some feelings about his dean. unclear if they are consummated or not.

- a cas who naomi never rescued from purgatory, and who stayed there. hasn't spoken to another being in half a decade, has not recovered from his emotionally destroyed state in purgatory in s8. believes at first that the spell is his dean rescuing him, and is crushed when he realizes he was wrong. like endverse cas, his purpose is to show dean how much cas needs him and depends on him emotionally, and how he (dean) is capable of destroying cas, as well as his guilt for leaving him in purgatory and how lucky he is that his cas got out. this is especially noteworthy since the guilt for leaving cas in purgatory is part of the reason dean is trying to get cas back.

- a cas who stayed human after season nine, and has built himself a small human life over the next four years. he has a job and an apartment and friends outside the winchesters and yes, he still goes hunting after work sometimes, and he's still in contact with dean, but he is also independent in a way no other version of cas has ever been. he exists to freak out dean because dean has never seen cas independent of him. he is also fairly bitter at dean since dean did kind of stop spending time with him when he was no longer useful, and our dean feels guilty for that.

- a cas who showed up twenty minutes later in 10x03, finding sam dead and dean gone, and had to chase down demon dean, and has now spent three years following demon dean around as his tragically adoring stalker, because he hasn't found a way to resurrect sam yet and he doesn't want to put dean through the demon cure until he can save sam because he doesn't want dean to experience that guilt, but he also adores dean and wants to keep an eye on him and keep him safe and also keep him from doing anything too heinous, so he just covertly follows him around the country and watches from a distance as he commits various murders and fucks his way through every local bar scene. and occasionally cas finds dean something to kill, when the mark gets hungry, and drops it in his path. his purpose is to freak dean out with the lengths cas would go for him, and the depths cas would sink to.

anyway. lebanon cas and season four cas are horrified and perhaps disgusted (lebanon cas more than s4 cas) by ALL of the later cas-es, and how far they’re fallen, all of it for dean. godstiel and archangel cas being abominations, endverse cas and s9 cas being fallen, even purgatory cas and demon dean’s cas for their total dependence on dean.

purgatory cas and endverse cas are just happy to see a dean, even if it’s not their dean. demon dean’s cas, too, in a way. he’s happy to see a dean who is still human, who he can still have as a friend.

human cas is pissed to see that he was right, that dean would have stuck by him if he’d still had his powers, that this version of dean is doing spells to try and bring his cas, who is still an angel, back, whereas he and his dean only see each other once every couple months.

everyone is terrified and disgusted by godstiel, as i said before.

they’re mostly kind of thrown by archangel cas. a lot of them are jealous. godstiel is furious because how dare anyone, even an alternate version of himself, take dean as a vessel (even if dean likes it). godstiel isn’t really there, though, he resisted the summoning and just sort of popped his head through to see what was going on, and he goes back to his own reality pretty fast without murdering anyone.

also to be clear dean has not at this point examined or acknowledged any feelings he may have about his cas besides “friendship,” nor has he wondered what feelings his cas may have for him. given how many of the cas-es were clearly in some kind of relationship with their dean (endverse cas, archangel cas) or just openly in love with their dean (godstiel, purgatory cas, demon dean’s cas), dean is forced to reevaluate the nature of his and cas’ relationship.

[goldenavenger02]

I can't be alone with all that's on my mind

But the hatred took over, after all. He should've been the green ninja. He should've been the one who was chosen to defeat The Overlord. "I don't want to control it! This isn't anything I don't already feel!"

Takes place after The Forgotten Element

•••

Kai's stomach convulsed as he gripped onto the toilet seat tightly, his knuckles going white.

As soon as the horror had sunk in that Skylor and Lloyd were injured by his greed and that Skylor had been taken, he had bolted to the bathroom and barely made it to the toilet in time before his stomach spilled over.

Which brought him to where he was now, bent over sick in the small bathroom just outside of the main room.

•••

"You have to destroy the staff, Kai!" Lloyd pleaded, running up to him as he continued to blast Chen's lackies.

"Chen was right! This thing's awesome!"

"Kai, it holds too much power! Destroy it!" He heard Lloyd say to someone "if we don't get that staff out of his hands-!"

"No one is taking my staff!" He yelled, anger in his voice. This was his now. He deserved it, after all. Lloyd just wanted to be the special one again. "You had all the power, now it's my turn!"

He shook the thoughts out of his head briefly, glaring at the offending object. "What am I saying? I can't… I can't control it!"

But the hatred took over, after all. He should've been the green ninja. He should've been the one who was chosen to defeat The Overlord. "I don't want to control it! This isn't anything I don't already feel!"

"No, Kai! Don't!" Lloyd pleaded, his arm in front of Skylor. A pathetic attempt to stop him, really, as he started to use the powers, the rush flowing through his body

"I should've been the green ninja!"

And with that, he launched the blast, watching the terror in their faces. He relished it with a grin.

•••

"Kai?" A voice broke him out of his thoughts, resulting in a shudder. He couldn't quite place who it was, but then it came again. "Kai, can I come in?"

A cough cut him off from responding to Cole, but he swallowed it back. "Yeah."

The door opened and Cole sat on the floor next to him, setting his hand against his back, "FSM, you're sweating through your gi." He heard him mutter under his breath, "I brought some water if you're up to it."

Kai shook his head; he wasn't very nauseous anymore, but he also wasn't sure he could keep anything down just yet since the nausea was now being replaced by the sinking feeling of guilt.

"Sensei G's got Lloyd," Cole spoke, clearly knowing exactly what Kai was thinking, "He's got some burns, and he's kinda weak from the whole "powers being sucked out of him" thing, but he's gonna be okay."

Kai nodded, but then the second thought came to his head. 'Nya still thinks I betrayed her and everyone else.'

Once again, Cole cut him off before he could even speak. "Lloyd explained the whole thing, they're not mad. Nya said your plan was dumb, but that was it."

Kai couldn't hold back his chuckle at the mental image of Nya critiquing his plan, but it was short-lived. 'Skylor's still hurt. And missing.'

"No one blames you, you did what you thought was right." Cole spoke softly, gently setting his hand on Kai's shoulder, who finally mustered up the strength to move away from the toilet and take the cup of water from Cole's hand, muttering under his breath as he drank.

"Don't think telling Lloyd that I should've been the green ninja before blasting him was right."

"You weren't in your right mind, the staff-"

"The staff brought out my subconscious thoughts that I've had since we found out about the prophecy." Kai interrupted, setting the empty glass down on the floor.

"The staff makes one greedy, power hungry. I don't know how it does it, but it obviously does. The reason it had no effect on Chen was because the dude was already cuckoo for cocoa puffs," Kai couldn't hold back a snort at the ridiculous phrasing, "and if you don't believe me, you can go ask Lloyd for his two cents."

Kai sighed. He knew he should talk to Lloyd, at least see that he was okay for himself, but at the same time, he had hurt Lloyd, the one he swore to protect when he was fully aware of what he was doing.

"It's up to you. Alternatively, you could help us try to find Chen, but considering you just threw up your guts, I'd go with the safer choice of talking to Lloyd."

Kai used the wall to pull himself to his feet, hitting the knob on the toilet before allowing Cole to support some of his weight since his legs were still shaking before speaking.

"Take me to Lloyd."

•••

Lloyd winced as Nya wiped at the cut on the side of his cheek.

While most of his injuries were from his fight with Chen, that one had occurred when the jet crashed into the basement and the staff hit him across the face as it flew out of Kai's hand.

Although, if he was being completely honest, he didn't remember much of the whole situation.

•••

Lloyd winced as he was pulled to his feet by two of the lackies who kept referring to themselves as Kapow and Chop, his side throbbing horrendously from his fight with Chen.

Despite trying to fight back, he was weak both physically and emotionally, not to mention the vengestone keeping his hands behind his back.

As he was forced down the halls and the echoes of the large serpent hit his ears, he fought back the tears that wanted to stream down his face.

'How could Kai do this? How could he hurt the team like this?' He tried to push back the selfish thought of 'how could he hurt me like this?' and tried to replace it with 'how could he do this to Nya?' but he couldn't do it.

As the chanting grew louder, he tried one more time to break out of the two men's hold, but one just kicked him in the leg, forcing him forward into the large room all four of them had snuck into on their first night here.

But Cole and Jay were nowhere to be seen, and as he looked at Chen, Clouse and Skylor who were surrounded by guards, he swallowed harshly, seeing Kai standing next to them.

The chanting rang in his ears as he was forced to kneel, the vengestone quickly being replaced by two giant chains attached to the floor.

He looked up as footsteps approached, seeing Kai grow nearer; the sadness and fury consumed him as he demanded, his voice thick with tears. "Why would you help them?"

"Don't worry," Kai insisted in a hushed tone, but as Clouse approached, he raised his voice, "it won't hurt. Much." Before walking away from him with a cackle, the chanting stopped altogether.

Lloyd watched as Skylor offered herself willingly to the spell, a pit growing in his stomach as she cried out in agony.

He had to shut his eyes.

But the cries stopped shortly afterwards and he opened his eyes, only to see Chen approaching him with a wicked grin on his face and his stomach dropped in fear.

"And now for the final element," the staff was pointed towards him and out of the corner of his eye, Lloyd saw Kai turn away, "only one can remain."

The white light surrounded him, and he was immediately hit with a searing pain in his chest that sent him to his knees before forcing a scream from his throat.

It was over fairly quickly, but he collapsed onto his hands and knees, trying to regain his breath as his body, now weaker than ever and heaved harshly.

•••

"Alright, that's the last injury," Nya announced, bringing Lloyd out of his thought process to see a joking smile on her face, "unless you're hiding something from me."

"No, you got everything. Thank you." Lloyd smiled softly, receiving a hand in his hair and he couldn't hold back his laughter because of just how normal that was.

"I'm gonna go help them find Chen, but your dad is right outside if you need anything. Get some rest."

Lloyd nodded, watching as Nya exited the room before laying down on his back, biting back the sharpness of the bruising from where he was thrown by Chen with his own abilities directly into the leaderboard.

The pain dulled out enough for him to close his eyes and try to let sleep take him when the door opened and two sets of slow footsteps approached him.

He couldn't stop from flinching due to the sting as a hand gently touched his burned wrist, but he instantly regretted it when he heard the voice. "Lloyd? Are you awake?"

'Kai'

Lloyd opened his eyes, blinking away the blurriness to see Cole and Kai standing over him. "Yeah, I'm awake," he noticed the guilty look on Kai's face, as well as the paleness, "you okay?"

"I should be the one asking you that."

"I will be," Lloyd nodded, getting a good look at Kai's face and already knowing that if he was gonna get any information out of him, they needed to be alone, "Cole, can you-"

"Yeah, I need to talk to your dad anyways," Cole smiled, winking to ensure he got the hint before making his way out of the room.

The door barely closed before Kai spoke up, "Lloyd, I am so sorry about all of this."

"You did what you thought was best, I can't blame-" Lloyd started, but he was cut off quickly.

"I meant the staff."

'Oh'

"Kai, that wasn't your fault-"

"I could have killed you!" Kai shouted, cutting Lloyd off again, "I could've killed you and Skylor, I said things to you that I haven't believed in years!" He had tears coming down his face now even though his cheeks were still red with frustration, "I hurt Skylor, I hurt Nya… I hurt you."

Lloyd wasn't thinking when he wrapped his arms around him, all he knew in that moment was that he needed Kai to stop crying, to stop feeling so bad for something that wasn't even his fault.

He felt hot tears soaking his shoulder as Kai's body shook against him, like he had been holding this in for a long time. 'How do I make him see that it isn't his fault?'

•••

Garmadon wasn't sure what he was expecting when Kai came out of the small room that his son was currently residing in while he recovered.

He definitely wasn't expecting him to come out with tears in his eyes and bright red cheeks though.

"Kai, are you alright?" He asked softly, in order to avoid startling the obviously in distress teenager.

"Yeah," he stopped to wipe his face on his sleeve, "yeah, I'm okay?"

Garmadon raised an eyebrow before motioning him closer. "Take a walk with me, Kai."

"No, you need to stay with Lloyd-"

"Just down the hall and back," Garmadon didn't like the idea of leaving his son, but he also knew that the majority of the elemental masters were nearby, and if there was an emergency, they would be informed before anything could happen to Lloyd, "Lloyd will be fine."

Kai relented after that and the two of them started walking at a steady pace with only the silence lingering in between them.

"You know, Kai," Garmadon spoke softly, watching as the fire elemental's gaze met his, "when I was bitten, I did a lot of things that I didn't have control over. I became corrupted and hurt a lot of people I care about. My brother, my wife, you four ninja, even Lloyd."

Garmadon heard Kai's breath hitch and saw a few tears forming in his eyes. "But after my son saved me, you all forgave me even though I didn't feel as though I deserved it. I still don't know how all of you did that so easily."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, it took me awhile to forgive you for all of that." Kai said in a joking tone, even if his voice was thick from crying and the tear stains on his cheeks were becoming fresh again.

Garmadon shot him a soft smile before continuing, "there are things in this world that we cannot control, things that have to balance out. Although it takes time to heal from those things, to forgive ourselves for those things, that doesn't mean we can't let others forgive us for them and to give us a second chance."

Kai wiped his face on his sleeve again and Garmadon put his hand on his shoulder, feeling his body shake under his touch.

"You don't have to forgive yourself right away from what happened with the corruption from the staff. In fact, I wouldn't expect you to do so. But letting the others in, letting them give you a second chance… It's a good place to start."

Kai nodded, tears rushing down his cheeks at full speed now, "I'll do that."

"Good man," Garmadon smiled as the two of them turned to make their way back down the hall, "and if you need someone to talk to about this again, my door is always open."

"You don't have to-"

"I'll have none of that," Garmadon shook his head, "You will come to me if you need someone to talk to about this again."

"Is that an order?" Kai smiled, the tears finally starting to slow and his mood was clearly starting to brighten, given that his sass was coming back.

"Yes, it is." Garmadon nodded, seeing that he had accomplished what he set out to do, "do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Sensei Garmadon." Kai winked as the two stopped in front of the door, his demeanor growing serious again, "I'm gonna go help them find Chen."

"Very well." Garmadon smiled, watching as Kai pulled his hood over his head before running to join the others outside.

[familyagrestefanblog]

Ml Meta analysis: Adriens current absents, season 4 structure and theory on whats to come

Here I am back again with my endless rambling.

I'm just as worried for our cat son as everyone else (maybe even more) which is why I tried figuring out for my own sanity why he is so absent currently.

Upfront I wanna warn yall that I wrote this post in one rush this night and therefore had no time to do alot of editing. So things can probably get a bit more messy than usual but I tried to write it clearly, while writing 2 other ml essays as well. This is the one drawback of having so many episodes in such a short time, I have no time to write my posts x3 I had another theory planned for before Optigami airs but I don't think I can manage before tomorrow.

But let's not waste any more time. Grab a snack and here we go:

It's 2am right now but I think I just realized why Adrien/Chat Noir is being sidelined so much recently.

Sure, yes, it'll come into play in the very obviously set up Ladynoir drama later on but what I wanna talk about now is more the structure of how s4 is most likely written in terms of both Marinettes and Adriens side of the story. And then deep dive a little on why I think so.

You see season 4 is now reaping what has been built up from s1-s3, but this also includes that you have to take the time now to properly recreate the new possibilities out of the loose pieces of the broken status quo.

Seriously, season 4 has to handle and reinvent ALOT. The show got now officially announced to have 7 seasons, which is exactly the amount of seasons Astruc said they have story for. I couldnt find the official tweet from Thomas himself but I one from another source:

And now look take a look at the possible shows structure:

- s1-s3 was the first status quo and built up everything so now they can pay off after pay off while...

-... S4 is now the transitional season where the old status quo gets left behind as we work towards the new one.

-I have nothing to proof this of course, but in the same sense it would now make sense that s5-s7 where/are planned to play out under the final status quo. If I'm not wrong at first the show was under contract for 5 seasons, which would mean that after the transitional season 4 there was only 1 season of the final status quo for sure. Still, done right it could have been worth the wait. But this isn't where Miraculous will end. The show actually got the 7 seasons the creator wanted and THIS is how I think the long term plan makes the most sense. Nothing all too complicated but still hella effective in its execution.

But now back to our two main characters, because Marinettes and Adriens development are the two aspects that will raise the show to the intense heights of the s5-s7 status quo.

From s1-s3 Marinette was the active player but she was hardly involved with the actual PLOT of the show, since most of the plot and backstory of the show lies directly with the Agreste family. She only started to get her own plot when she literally created a new one by getting involved with the miraculous lore, because the closest Marinette got to the Agreste plot was "The collector".

Adrien in the other hand was always literally right in the middle of the plot but he wasn't enough of an active player to bring us further either.

Season 4 is now going to add the missing parts for both of them and as the very beginning of the season showed us: there are going to do it SEPERATLY.

This is why "Truth" and "Lies" have been structured the way they are (One Marinette-centric the other Adrien-centric). Yes, Marinette and Adrien are meant to end their story victoriously together, but they are simply not the people they have to be to become such a powerful team. Certain aspects of their journey they have to do... basically disconnected from the other one. The "Miracle Queen" endcard shows it quite nicely as well where they are heading now: away from each other.

Obviously the season started with Marinette growing into her new guardian status including everything miraculous related, since she is the main lead and because the new ways the episodes can now utilize everything Miraculous need to be established first before we deep dive into the messed up Agreste mystery.

So while I totally agree that it is annoying to get so little Adrien/Chat Noir content currently I also understand the practicality behind it. As I said, before s4 Marinette was the active main character who mostly didn't really have her own plot. So now adding her plot aspect and have her ACTIVELY figure everything needed out means that right now Marinette/Ladybug is the active focus main character who is solving a huge part of her s4 character arc. That simply drowns out Adrien as the currently still mostly-inactive secondary main character who, yes, may be right in the middle of the shows emotional + villain plot/lore/backstory, but that side of the story simply isn't in focus at the moment.

And I gotta say, I'm kinda glad they're doing it this way. Because I'm gonna be honest, when the season starts giving us Adrien/family Agreste episodes like "Lies" and "The collector" (in this case "Gabriel Agreste" for example) again, I don't want the narrative to be forced to spend time with something guardian lore based just because they didn't took their time to do it earlier.

So, as we see on the s4 episode raster "Gabriel Agreste" is episode 9. Honestly, I expect most of it (especially the ones near the beginning, so ep. 5 included) til that episode to be Marinette based the way everything else til now did (besides Lies obviously and Guilt trip didn't hardcore focus on Marinette/Ladybug either and that's because it's after "Gabriel Agreste") in the spirit of "Truth". It's just the needed set up from Marinettes side of the story and I can live with that.

Because we actually saw the change after "Gabriel Agreste" already in "Guilt trip".

I don't know why some people pretend like Chat almost cataclysming himself after hearing how guilt-eaten Nino is for Adriens sake isn't a huge indicator that the episodes afterwards will not only acknowledge but also DEAL with Adriens/Chats situation and problems. Remember, we are talking about CHAT NOIR here not Adrien Agreste. The show has always portrayed and acknowledged ADRIENS issues very straight forward and with the proper seriousness (especially when it comes to his family), whereas Chat Noir was often mostly used for comedic purposes with some exceptions of his problems being properly delt with (since Marinette/Ladybug was mostly oblivious to them, since Adrien keeps them hidden so well). But now in "Guilt trip" LADYBUG was confronted head-on with just how much negativity Chat has inside and how quickly and extremely he drowns in it.

Sure, correct, the episode also has his negativity "washed away" rather quickly by Ladybug opening up to him on how important he is to her

But this is in character for both of them as "Lies" very clearly showed us that the way BOTH OF THEM behave here is where the problem lies. There Ladybug was freaked out after Chat threw his life away once again but quickly accepted Chats very direct avoidance of the confrontation, since he seemed to be alright to her.

Something I also find noteworthy here is that Ladybugs dialog is "Seriously, you need to stop doing this to me!", which is.... a VERY Marinette-centric way of acknowledging the problem.

It completely shifts the issue away from Adriens extremely alarming self-harmful/suicidal tendencies and instead only calls out how it affects Marinette (whose feelings here are definitely valid, don't get me wrong!). It showcases perfectly how unaware Marinette still is of her partners inner tumult at that point and also parallels how Marinette called Adriens life "perfect" at the beginning of the episode (This is no shade towards Marinette, in general the entirety of "Lies" is about showing us just how harmful Adriens Chat Noir persona actually IS to him so these two moments of her being oblivious to Adriens and Chats immense problems very much fits into that episodes narrative and sets up what's about to come. I still have an entire essay in the making for "Lies" but, guys, it's just getting longer and longer. I suck xD).

So the fact that an episode after "Gabriel Agreste" brings this scenario back, just a little different but ALOT more revealing of Adriens immense problems to his partner, is VERY telling. Besides other things it tells us that this happens at the beginning of the arc that deals with (at least) Chats issues since Ladybug is still way too quickly too ready to accept her partner as "completely fine" again just because Chat makes it seem that way (while some negativity increasing guilt bubbles still to stick to him.).

And yet, others have already pointed it out that Ladybug IS noticing what Chat wanted to do and reacted accordingly...

she just didn't speak of it the way it is because it overwhelmed her, which calls back to Ladybugs "You have to stop doing this to me!" dialog.( For a great breakdown of her dialog HERE is a link to @flightfoot​ post)

In "Lies" Marinette was way too stressed by her new guardian role to even consider Chats side of it and therefore only spoke of her own, but in "Guilt trip" she's already past that stressful arc. So here she is immediately able to recognize Chats suicidal action for what it is, come to his (much needed) aid and lift her partners spirit the best she can by emotionally opening up to him (which is something we KNOW is incredibly hart for Marinette).

The difference between her reaction in "Lies" and in "Guilt trip" shows that Marinette has her guardian role already mostly handled and is now mentally able to be there for others again, so the extremely Marinette-centric "Truth"-like episodes are mostly passed. Now the episodes can bring Adrien/Chat Noir more into the game again and even shift to "Lies" - like episodes because MARINETTE can pay more attention to him again and isn't faced with something new, important and overwhelming Miraculous related every step she takes.

And THAT is extremely fair from a narrative standpoint.

---

I really need to stop elaborating so much on these posts because I'm only NOW actually getting to the point of where Adriens journey will disconnect for a while from Ladybugs. Sorry guys.

Okay, to understand where I'm going with this I will have to quickly explain how I always saw Chat Noirs place in the Ladybug+Chat Noir vs Hawkmoth war ever since s1.

Because here is the thing: Adrien wasn't able to truly leave the battle field ONCE since the origins. Marinette was completely out of Hawkmoths and Gabriels reach once she detransformed, which balances out her basically being the personification of the good sides force. And Gabriel literally decided whenever or not the battle is even ACTIVE right now! Besides that he is in complete control of his own actions and environment, which gives him all the necessary time, safety and downtime he needs to act as the personification of the evil sides force.

Marinette and Gabriel always knew when they were safe and off the battle field, but ADRIEN never had that and it left him LITERALLY right in the middle of both Ladybugs and Hawkmoths sides.

You see, because before Adrien became Chat Noir he basically was part of Hawkmoths side just by default. He was born into this family, that's his father and lost mother and everything he knows. Adrien didn't/doesn't even have to KNOW that he is part of Hawkmoths side, he's his son at some level he just IS! And I'm not saying this as anything negative, Adrien coming from Hawkmoths side is literally the reason why he became Chat Noir!

Because whereas Gabriel is having the time of his damn life as evil terrorist, created out of tragic and sinister circumstances, ADRIEN on the other hand couldn't handle his families environment and very same circumstances anymore and accepted the role as Paris' hero to escape his heritage for a while.

Keywords being: a WHILE.

Something unique about Adrien I always loved is the fact that he is the villains abused, isolated and overworked SON, who becomes a hero to escape his depressing life and YET it was never Adriens intention to LEAVE IT. Adrien merely wanted to use his time as Chat Noir to let of some steam and breath freely while doing some hero work so he can go back into his civilian life and try to one day successfully ment his broken family. He couldn't handle the current situation anymore but he still always saw worth in his family/father. I have SO MUCH respect for that!

But him not intending to leave his family and instead regaining strength as Chat Noir to continue to hold onto it came with the downside of him not being able to fully become part of the good sides people/force either. Hence why Adriens/Chats place always felt so lost in comparison to Ladybugs and Hawkmoths clear positions. He's caught in between their extremes trying to balance out BOTH at the same time. What an impossible task!

So he couldn't put in the same focus as Ladybug into being the good sides force because he is literally burned out from his civilian life on Hawkmoths evil side. But he also couldn't be involved as an ACTIVE member of his fathers evil force, because he chose to find refuge in his friends and as a hero on Ladybugs side.

Adrien unknowingly is part of BOTH the shows two extreme moral sides of good and evil and this season we will see Adrien/Chat Noir grow into his own within BOTH sides as well.

Because he simply couldn't have done so right away in s1. Now after 3 seasons Chat Noir is more than solidly established as one of Paris Heros and his time with Ladybug, the other heros and his normal friends helped him greatly to find his place on the good side. "Lies" set this up as Chat Noirs arcs starting point that now he has to stop connecting "being heroic" strictly with following Ladybug (as Marinette is the STAND IN personification for the good side, she's still a flawed human being like everyone else and not the ultimate force of perfect and good. Big difference.) just as he has to start looking past his fathers sympathetic moments/qualities to see that Hawkmoth isn't a 100%, inhumane monster just because he is the stand-in personification of evil in their fight, but the man he calls Father and still needs to be taken down. (I talked about this in more detail on THIS post)

Adrien has to seperat himself from Ladybugs path and focus on his family and I believe it'll start with the much dreaded (but expected) Ladynoir fight.

Funnily enough, what I'm talking about was actually already set up in "Frozer" I just didn't remember that for a bit. In "Frozer" we saw Ladynoir having a fight which caused Chat Noir to go his own way in the episodes battle.

I always found it interesting that the episode didn't had Chats decision, to not follow Ladybugs lead here, turn out to be a huge mistake. Almost every other show would have done so but now I think I understand. This episode and s2 in general SET UP the s4 conflict, s3 LEAD UP to it and now s4 DELIVERS it.

So what happened in "Frozer" is a direct parallel to what about to go down:

Ladynoirs fight will cause Chat Noir to not simply  follow Ladybugs side anymore the way he used to, but note, he DOESN'T leave the good side AND they make up again in the end after Chat saves Ladybug from the akuma. He just does things on his own because he isn't on great terms with her for a while. "Frozer" showed Chats decision to not only NOT be a mistake but also a necessary part of defeating the akuma, just the way it'll be in s4. Damn, Adrien breaking away from Ladybugs side, the way she (unintentionally tho) did at the beginning of the season, to focus more on himself and his family will be the game changing factor, when Adrien will have his completing arc where he goes from "not active character within the villain/backstory plot" to "ACTIVE character within the villain/backstory plot".

And we already saw with Marinette how many fast breakthroughs we get through these completing arcs. Which is also a reason for why Adriens/ Chats arc comes later in the season, because BUDDY. Once Adrien starts to actively uncover his families mystery and fathers secrets Gabriel is SCREWED! Adrien will gain the needed inside knowledge that complements Marinettes Miraculous power; and reunited they can take on whatever the hell kind of scale the Agrestes plan actually is.

So how to end this post? My biggest intention was to raise hope for everybody (myself included lol) who is right now very concerned and upset about how side-lined our boy is at the moment. But I prefer doing so in a way that actually works with canons context instead of sugarcoating what I don't like. And Adriens/Chats current position I definitely do NOT like but accepting it as realistic outcome from s1-s3 and set up for the escalation for both Ladynoir and his home situation gives it the proper purpose and pay off (narrative and character wise) that it SHOULD have.

Basically, the endcards of "Truth" and "Lies" show it perfectly.

It looks like ShadowMoth is turning a blind eye towards Adrien/Chat Noir because of Ladybugs new guardian status and "greater importance". But Gabriels tunnel vision on Ladybug will leave him vulnerable to his own sons secret actions against him and Gabriel won't see it coming until its already too late.

[otakusheep15]

SFW Alphabet - Mammon

I really wanted to write one for Mammon, but I was stuck on a few letters until just now lol. 

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first, his tsundere-self won’t let him show much affection towards you. However, as your relationship develops, you begin finding random trinkets and things around your room and in your pockets. These all come from him, who just randomly buy you things he thinks you might enjoy. The second you show interest in anything, even slightly, it’s yours. Eventually, he’ll open up a bit more and start showing more verbal and physically affection, but gift giving is his main love language. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

You are constantly getting dragged into every single thing he does. He has a new scheme, you’ll be his partner-in-crime. Lucifer is planning on punishing him again, You’ll be right next to him getting punished as well. he’ll also bring you with him when he gambles or goes clubbing. You can either choose to keep him out of trouble, or encourage his wild behavior cause he’d listen to you regardless. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He is an absolute slut for cuddles. Will he get embarrassed at the close proximity? Yes. Will he act like a typical tsundere because of it? Yes. Will he still love it regardless, and make sure you know he loves it? Yes. His ideal position would be you two facing each other, wrapped up in each others embrace. He loves it when you pat his head cause it makes him feel appreciated and loved. He’ll also lay his head on your chest and just listen to your heartbeat. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He knew he wanted to settle down with you pretty much the second he realized his feelings. While he isn’t very good at household chores, he’ll try his best just for you. After all, you’re his human, and he would never make you do all of the work yourself. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’d be the type to dwell on it for a while and make sure it’s actually what he wants. Usually, he would sit down with them and try and talk about it. From there, it will either be perfectly civil and no one gets too hurt, or it ends in a giant fight including yelling, throwing things, and even physical violence at some points. It all depends on the person and what their relationship was like. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He wants to get married to you as soon as possible. As the Avatar of Greed, he wants you all to himself, and what better way to claim you than by marrying you. If you are a bit more hesitant to the idea, he’ll wait for as long as you want, but he hopes that you’ll want to at some point. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He is probably the most gentle out of all of the brothers. He’s your first man, and he promised to protect you from anything that could cause you harm. He knows that, as a demon, he could also be the one to cause you harm, even if accidentally. This is why he treats you like the most valuable treasure in all of the three worlds. Literally, it almost becomes a problem at some points because he will not let you do anything he deems remotely dangerous. If he could, he would just simply lock you up in his room forever to just keep you safe (not in a yandere way or anything, he just can’t bear the thought of you getting hurt cause he wasn’t there for you). 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are one of his favorite forms of affection. He’s especially into the idea of hugging you in public since it lets others know who you belong to. His hugs are very possessive, but they feel really nice. If he’s had a particularly bad day, he’ll come into your room and just sit there and hug you for hours. Please give him soft, loving words and pet his head. It will make him feel so loved and happy in that moment. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

In all honesty, the first time he says it will probably by a total accident. It would just slip out in the middle of a conversation one day. Chances are, you two aren’t even dating when he first says it. He’d get all flustered and try to pretend like he didn’t say it, but you know he’s clearly lying. After flailing about for a while, he’d calm down and mutter something about how he hopes you feel the same way. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He could rival Levi for the title of Avatar of Envy. Maybe it’s a side-effect of his greed, but he will get super jealous the second anyone goes near you. WHen he’s jealous, it’s very obvious. Most of the time, he’ll just come up behind you and hug you/kiss you just to show that you’re his. And, depending on the person, he might just drag you away from them entirely. Afterwards, he’ll be super pouty and demands you give him attention to make up for it. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are usually very excited and passionate. Basically, he wants to show you how much he loves you through his kisses since he has a hard time actually saying what he feels. His favorite place to kiss you is on your cheek. He just thinks it’s cute. He likes being kissed on his forehead or on the top of his head. It just gives him some comfort. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He’ll claim that he hates children, but everyone knows that’s a lie. In reality, he really likes kids. He thinks they’re cute. However, kids don’t like him all that much, which is why he’s so bad with them. They never listen to him, and he does not know how to control them. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

You’ll usually be waking up first, and you’ll also be waking him up. He is a child who will beg for five more minutes, but don’t give in cause then he’ll never get up. Most likely, you’ll have to drag him out of bed and offer some kind of reward for him. On the days you two can sleep in, he’ll try and keep you there for as long as possible. You two have nothing to do? He’ll somehow convince you to just stay in bed with him all morning. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are a bit of a wildcard for him. Sometimes he’ll be out late gambling or getting punished by Lucifer, and you’ll obviously be there with him. On nights when he’s not doing anything, you two will be in his room or yours just laying in bed. Maybe you’ll watch a movie, maybe you’ll just sit and talk, who knows? It usually ends with him falling asleep first and you following shortly after. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s accidentally open pretty early on. He doesn’t mean to open up as quickly or easily as he does, but he can’t help it. Being with you just makes it so easy for him to relax, and then he’s suddenly spilling his whole life story. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He has so much patience, especially with you. It does not matter what you’re doing, he will sit there and wait forever. The only time he isn’t patient is when money is involved or someone is threatening you. In these cases, he snaps quicker than even Lucifer or Satan. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He pretends to remember nothing, but he actually has a great memory. He’ll remember literally every detail you tell him. His tsundere attitude gets in the way of him actually saying how much he cares, but his memory and attention to detail proves it just as well. It could be the smallest detail about this one time in your childhood, and he’d still remember the entire story as if he experienced it. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment was this one time where you two got in trouble with Lucifer again. You two had managed to run away from him, but y’all knew you needed to hide and quick. Eventually, you found a small closet in the house that could just barely fit the both of you. Lucifer passes on and it’s safe for now. For some reason that neither of you remembers, you two just start laughing. At first it’s small giggles, but soon it’s full on cackling. The situation was just so funny in that moment. He remembers seeing the look of pure joy and excitement on your face, and he knew from that moment on that he wanted to be with you forever. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He is the most protective guard dog you will ever have. He’ll play it off as just having been given the assignment by Lucifer, but we all know he just loves you. The second someone comes near you, he will attack them. He’s probably also bitten someone at least once. There are some points where not even his brothers can get near you. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Boy tries so hard but they always end up in disaster. He really wants to impress you and show you how much he cares, but nothing ever works for him. In the end, you two just end up doing something simple like going out to dinner or watching a movie. It’s not what he intended, but it makes you happy, so he’s cool with it. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He steals from you. A lot. Once you start dating, he claims all of your stuff as his. You’ll often find things missing from your room, mostly things like clothes or trinkets. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He’s a model, so obviously he puts a lot of effort into how he looks. Trust me, he is nowhere near as bad as Asmo, but it’s still more than normal. He wants to look good cause he believes that’s how he gets people to like him. Really, he’s just insecure that people won’t like him if he doesn’t look good. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Oh most definitely. You made the most impact on him. If you were to leave him, he would absolutely fall apart. Like, no one would ever hear from him again if something took you away from him. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I headcanon that he actually kinda tolerates his brother’s tormenting because that’s the only attention they really give him. He seems very starved for attention, and before you, he only really had his brothers. But they usually ignore him for the most part. So, he purposely gets on their nerves so that they’ll pay him some attention. Sure, it mostly consists of them yelling at him and calling him a scummy excuse of a brother, but it’s better than nothing. Then you came along and gave him some good, loving attention, and that’s when he realized he deserved so much more than what he took from his brothers. 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He would not like someone who acts like his brothers. By that, I mean he wants someone who won’t bully him in the same way his brothers do. He wants a safe place, and he wants someone who can provide that for him, not someone who’ll just make him feel worse. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He snores. And moves a lot. You have fallen out of bed many times when sleeping together. He also steals all of the covers. He’ll apologize the next morning, but then do it again that night. 

[helianthus-tarot]

Pick-a-card: Why are you feeling drawn to them?

Hi. I got a request to do this topic so here it is. This is a short reading that will explore why you are drawn to whoever you are thinking about and what connection it may be. Only read this if you really have an unexplainable attraction toward someone. And I only made 4 piles because I’m sleepy as fuc so pls ignore grammar or spelling mistakes I expect it to be worse lol thank.

Aand I just made an instagram! Do follow me there for mini pick a card readings and random tarot messages and pretty graphics (i try) 🥺💗. 

My instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helianthustarot/

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Disclaimer: Click Here!

Instructions;

Center yourself and focus on the topic. Choose a number/picture that you feel the most drawn to, as if it is calling out to you. Try to not choose too many (less than 2). Trust your intuition & read the message under the cut.

May the message resonate. See you in the next reading!

Visit my tumblr for more readings!

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PILE 1

2 of Wands Rx, 4 of Cups, The High Priestess, 10 of Swords

The person in your mind represents what you seek. I am not saying they are what you seek, as in, romantically, because there are no love cards here so I can’t really tell. It could be that they simply show you what you want; what you want in a person, what you want in yourself, or what you want in your life. They might also represent what you don’t have, or that you wish you had. It could be their qualities, their mindset, their energy, their focus- whatever it is. This then got translated into an unexplainable feeling of attraction. There might also this wonder that you feel when you look at them. I’m getting that your energy is much darker than theirs, like you are coming out of darkness. And perhaps that’s one of reasons why you feel attracted to them; they in some way feel like fresh air. Perhaps deep down you want a fresh start, you want that optimism, you want to be able to feel a sense of purpose, you want something more than just what you have been experiencing. And this person just embodies those things.

I didn’t ask about their personality, but I’m getting that they might come off as someone who knows what they want, they look as if they are living their purpose or that they are connected to their soul. Quite similar to The Fool’s energy. Lighthearted, yet passionate at times. Like someone who believes in their ability to achieve something bigger than themselves, without much fear or self-doubt.

There is something you are feeling unsatisfied about, which has been clinging onto your energy, to the point that it obstructs you from being able to connect to your soul’s calling- those desires which can bring in the feeling of fulfillment. It makes you feel a bit jaded, and exhausted as well.  There is a message for you to go within and ask yourself what exactly can spark that joy in you, what can make you feel satisfied, what you are passionate about, what your soul’s purpose, what you want more in life. Get connected to your inner knowing and highest self. The answers are within you. Shift through the pain, the exhaustion, and you will find yourself again. You too have limitless potential, you too can ask for things that are good for you.  

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PILE 2

4 of Swords, 5 of Cups, Ace of Wands, The Hierophant, Queen of Pentacles

Does this person give off a mature, comforting, dependable vibe? Perhaps a bit nurturing as well? Do they make you believe in your potential? Do they make you feel safe to explore your potential? It feels like they have this effect on you; the words they say, their mannerism, their work ethic, the way they manage their own life, etc- seems to inspire you to want to do something with your life. It is also possible that they change or challenge the way you see things as well, they make you want to get up and do things, they make you want to expand and explore, they make you want to believe in yourself; whether they do it intentionally or not. At the same time, they also feel safe and comforting to you, like you can let go and be vulnerable about your concerns. It feels a bit like home, like someone who can take care of you especially when you are sad, and bring your energy back up- make you believe again.

The Hierophant actually represents the lesson they bring in. So perhaps one of the reasons why you feel drawn to them is because you have been seeking someone who can guide you, someone who can nurture you and show you the way out of whatever challenge you experience. Especially if you haven’t had someone like this in your life before. This also feels like a mentor. The Hierophant could also represent the possibility that you might need some form of structure and guidance in your life, and this person has those things, so you end up feeling drawn to them.

I think this can be a stable or consistent relationship. If you want to pursue it as a romantic relationship, just keep in mind the possibility that at some point of the relationship you might need to grow into yourself and learn to be secure within yourself (if you haven’t); just to balance it out, so it can be a give and take relationship. If this is not exactly an attraction you can keep in your life (for whatever taboo reason), to manage the attraction- simply acknowledge the possibility that at this time you might be seeking guidance to restructure your life and to believe in your potential and your ability to realize it. It is fine to receive it from an external source, but it will also be beneficial for you to learn to nurture it from within so you can access it whenever you need to- which will also allow you to keep your independence.    

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PILE 3

The Sun, 2 of Cups, Page of Wands, Ace of Cups

This is probably the pile that people who ask about love want to get lol. Why you are feeling drawn to them? They just have that positive influence on you. Honestly with The Sun, there is overwhelming happiness. Perhaps that’s what you feel around them. It could also be that you feel much more yourself when you are around them. When you are in a conversation with them, you feel seen and accepted. You feel like you can be yourself. You guys can also inspire each other, celebrate each other’s achievement, just… simply being a positive influence in each other’s lives. It’s as if they are on the same level as you are, you might feel like you can work well together. Conversations between you guys don’t feel forced.

Page of Wands comes in as the lesson, it actually fell with 3 of Swords and Knight of Wands. So I think this connection is that hope after pain. If you have lost hope about finding a genuine connection, then this can be something to challenge that belief. Page of Wands is someone who can see possibilities and stay optimistic despite the fact that they are in the middle of the desert. They also represent good news coming in, something that can allow you to expand your life, to explore and go after your soul’s calling/desire. So honestly, this connection seems to be that new beginning, that possibility that you can try to explore. No guarantee that it won’t come with challenges, but honestly you wont know how good it can be if you don’t try.  

I think they are your soulmate, if you believe in soulmate. Whether it is meant to be romantic or not, whether it is meant to last or not, that depends on your specific situation as this is a general reading. It is possible for this connection to be emotionally fulfilling- there is a possibility of emotional abundance since you got Ace of Cups.

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PILE 4

The Lovers, Strength, King of Wands, Judgement

This person is meant to enter your life. Hell, with The Lovers, Judgement and how the Wheel of Fortune fell twice (but I didn’t take it ha ha because there were a bunch of cards with it), I mean, this is obviously fated in some way. Now, of course the significance of it varies, depending on your specific situation, as this is a general reading. This person is most likely your soulmate, heavy soulmate energy here, whether romantically or platonically. If you met them after you had ended a stage of your life, then this person could signify the new life that you are venturing into.

Something is similar within yourself and them. You might have gone through similar experience, similar pain, similar challenge- something, that when you look at them you can recognize that thing exists in them as well. That’s what draws you to them. So in a way, they are your mirror. You might see some parts of yourself in them, and them you. That companionship, that kinship. There is something spiritual about this as well. Since they can act like your mirror, they could show you some of your flaws and you might want to work on what needs to be worked on when that happens. But eh I’m not really getting negative energy, just common things that come with spiritual connections.

King of Wands represents the lesson they bring into your life. I think they will show you- your desire to expand; be more, do more, live life to the fullest, act on your potential. Inspiring. You get inspirations just by being around this person and the message might be that you should consider those possibilities, if there is any that can be acted on, then seize the opportunity. Make things happen. It feels like the connection can push you both to be the best version of yall that yall can be, because The Lovers can also mean highest self; choosing what is good for your highest self, living your truth. If this connection becomes something more, then you guys can be a powerful duo who inspire each other to live your best life.

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