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#that I have been working on for the last 12 years of my life
tpwk-formula1 · 2 days
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Lando Norris, Thin Crust, Red Sauce,Pineapple, BBQ Chicken , Vodka redbull, Sparkling Water, Coke, Yes
With a plus-size reader, if you can. I fear there's not many plus-size fics out there with lando. If you could please and thank you. 🧙‍♀️
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Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu
thin crust brother's best friend red sauce rough sex pineapple "Look so pretty wrapped around my cock" bbq chicken “Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby” vodka redbull squirting sparkling water spitting coke spanking dessert yes served by Lando Norris
Lando x Plus size Fewtrell! reader
TW unprotected sex, squirting, spanking, creampie, rough Lando, talks of insecurities
WC 1600+
Y/N POV
"Love, I'm not feeling the best. I think I'm gonna stay in for the day," I tell Lando softly while he was talking to my brother about the plans for today.
"You were okay this morning, what's going on? What are you feeling?" Lando asks clearly getting worried.
"It's nothing major just think I ate the wrong thing this morning," I tell him softly not wanting the whole house to hear the conversation.
"Do you need us to get you anything?" Max asked clearly being worried. I just shake my head no before turning on my foot and heading towards Lando and I's room that we have been sharing while here on Holiday for summer break.
"Hey love, what's really going on? I can see this perplexed look on your face clearly showing me that you're overthinking something," Lando asks me after he had followed me into our room.
"No I promise I'm just having tummy issues," I continue to uphold the lie. Said lie falling from my lips far easier than it should, but I was used to faking illness to get out of something.
"Love, drop the act," Lando says softly making me groan at being caught.
"Lando, I- um- I'm just a little worried about the hike to the clay. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it as fast as the rest of you guys. Don't wanna hold you back," I tell Lando softly making his face drop in realization.
"Baby, no one cares if we have to take it slow," Lando tells me making me groan and shake my head.
"You don't get it love, you're an athlete surrounded by other athletes, your 'take it slow' is basically my sprinting," I tell him softly trying to hold back tears.
"i'm sorry. Maybe I'm not the best fit person for your lifestyle," I add softly watching Lando's face snap up and turn into a dark expression.
"Hey Max I think I'm gonna stay back with Y/N and take care of her," Lando walks to the bedroom door where he opens it and shouts to my brother.
"Okay! Maybe we can go again tomorrow if Y/N is up for it," Max shouts back before Lando is closing the door and striding towards me.
"Do not turn this into our breakup. As a couple it is our job to figure out how to make our lifestyles mesh. I don't give a fuck if you're not some Olympic athlete, I don't care if a one mile walk took us 100 years to complete, that's 100 years spent with the love of my life, so I'll be fucking damned if you think you're not 'good enough' to be with me," Lando stays while striding closer to me.
"Lan, I just think you might be happier with someone who can keep up with you and your friends," I tell him softly. I wasn't trying to argue and I sure as hell don't want to break up but it's a tough conversation we need to have.
"I've grown up with you and Max our entire life, I'm used to walking in the back with you, not because I was that slow but because even at 12 I genuinely liked you and any time I could spend with you I would," Lando tells me making me think back to when we were younger and he really would walk in the back of the pack with me always the last two to arrive. Even having Lando defend me a few times against my brother and his teasing words.
"I'm sorry I've just really been in my head a lot lately," I tell him softly making him hum and pull me into his arms.
"I know I could tell, but I thought it was cause you were stressed with work not because you had been stressing about our relationship," Lando tells me softly before placing a kiss on my forehead.
"I'm sorry for not talking to you sooner. I was just embarrassed," I admit making Lando scoff.
"I'm embarrassed that my own girlfriend was too worried to talk to me about what was bothering her pretty little mind," Lando tells me while kissing my forehead and leading us to the bed where we climb into it and throw on a random movie to watch.
Midway through the second movie Lando leans down and places a kiss on my lips and climbs into my lap.
"Lando, right now?" I questioned in a hushed tone as if anyone was still home.
"No one is here, and I need to show you who you belong to," Lando tells me while starting to pull his shirt over his head leaving me to start at his tanned chest.
Once Lando had discarded his shirt somewhere in the room he made quick work of pulling off my shirt leaving us both completely bare from the waist up.
"Fuck, love these tits so much," Lando mumbled before leaning down and sucking one of my nipples into his mouth.
"Oh, Lan," I moan softly while arching my back bringing my tits even closer to his face.
Lando pulls away and roughly flips me onto my stomach where he pulls me up by the hips so I was presenting myself to him. I was only wearing a flimsy pair of sleep shorts I had thrown on a little bit ago to get more comfortable. Lando just yanks them down my legs and lets the pool at my knees where he starts slapping my ass.
"Ow, what is that for," I whine when I feel the continued spanking.
"You need to realize how fucking beautiful you are. I'm not gonna let you walk around thinking you're anything less than perfect. So everytime you sit down for the next day, you will be reminded," lando explains with a cocky smirk.
Once Lando had reddened my ass to his liking hi quickly yanks his briefs down before roughly burying his cock into my pussy and giving me no time to adjust before he is roughly thrusting into my sopping wet pussy.
"Look so pretty wrapped around my cock," Lando groans while still keeping the brutal pace.
"So good, Lan," I whine burying my face into the pillow to try and muffle my moans but lando roughly grips on my hair and pulls me face up.
"I wanna hear your screams," Lando tells me while thrusting harder and faster to try and pull the loudest noises from me.
"Fuck," I scream out when Lando continuously hits my G-spot only bringing me closer to cumming.
"Cum for me," Lando groans when he feels my pussy clenching around his cock in anticipation.
I let go almost instantly cumming all over Lando's cock and squirting all over the bedspread.
"Fuck such a messy girl," Lando groans while helping me ride out my orgasm before he picks up the pace again.
"God, I love when you get like this," Lando groans.
Lando pulls out suddenly before he flips me over onto my back and roughly starts fucking me in missionary.
"Fuck Lando," I scream at the new angle not fully prepared for the way I was feeling Lando.
In the midst of my loud moans, I feel Lando lean down over my face before roughly spitting in my mouth. Most of it went straight down my throat but some of it sprayed my face making me whimper slightly.
"Fuck, I love seeing your tears, the way you take my cock, opening your mouth like a good slut to take my spit, fuck you were made for me," Lando groans before starting to place with my sensitive clit again.
"You're gonna cum with me this time," Lando groans while speeding up his actions making me feel the build-up of my orgasm again.
"I'm gonna cum," I warn Lando knowing I wasn't gonna be able to hold back much longer reaching the point of no return far quicker than I would have liked.
“Gonna let me cum in you? I know you wanna have my baby,” Lando groans out.
"Yes, fill me up Lando, wanna have your baby," I beg desperate to cum again.
"Cum with me," Lando groans before his hips started to falter from their rough thrusting before I feel his cum start to paint my walls making me cry out in another squirting orgasm.
"Fuck," I scream as I feel my squirt spray all over Lando and I making a proper mess out of our bedding.
When Lando and I finally come down from the highs of our pleasure Lando is softly pulling out of my pussy before watching his cum leak from my gaping pussy with a smirk on his face.
"God, I love making you mine," Lando groans before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.
"So good," I mumble out before turning into Lando's chest for comfort.
"Did so well, gonna have to clean this up before everyone gets home," Lando tells me with a smirk on his face making me groan in embarrassment.
Lando quickly got out of bed before turning the bath on where he let it fill up before coming to get me and he gently placed me in the bath before going into the room again to clean up the bedding so we had fresh sheets for when everyone arrived back.
After about 10 minutes Lando climbs into the bath me, letting my beck rest against his chest.
"I cleaned up all the evidence of how messy you get for me," Lando tells me with a smirk clearly laced in his voice. I just groan and try to hide my face in his neck while he just laughs.
"On a real note though, next time you feel like that promise me you'll talk to me," Lando tells me softly making me turn my head to face him.
"I promise," I tell him softly before leaning up and placing a kiss on his lips.
"i love you," I tell him softly making him smile before he tells me he loves me too.
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ofmdrecaps · 2 days
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09/23-25/2024 Daily OFMD Recap
TLDR; Kristian Nairn: Beyond The Throne Release!; Rhys Darby; Leslie Jones; Rachel House; CW: Roaches: Samba Schutte; Vico Ortiz; Lindsey Cantrell; Crew For Life Hoody; Adopt Our Crew: Prompts/Research; Bi+Sexuality Day; Watch Party Reminders; Fan Spotlight; Love Notes;
Hey crew, sorry I've been completely exhausted the last few days, having to be up early with kiddo and drive down to see my dad + crazy work hours. I am just... flat out of it, sorry! Trying to get caught up today, this is going to be a 3 dayer to try and catch up quickly. Hope you all are doing well and having fun honking!
== Kristian Nairn ==
On September 23, Kristan's Beyond the Throne was finally released!!!
Kristan was on NBCNews and Pix11News!
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Source: Kristian Nairn's Instagram
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Kristian was featured in the New York Post and Screenrant!
A lot of the crew has been expressing excitement for the book!
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Still looking for a copy? Maybe a signed copy? You can grab one on his linktree!
== Rhys Darby ==
Sept 23rd was Rhys and Rosie's 27th anniversary! Happy Anniversary you two!
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Speaking of Rhys and Rosie -- Friday Sept 27, Rhys and Rosie will be doing an episode together!
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Source: David Booth's Twitter
Rhys is going to be taking a big part in BadJelly! (Guess who else is there? Pop Pop (Cohen Halloway!)
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Source: BadJellyTv / Rosie's IG
Are you gonna be in LA on Oct 1? You can check out Rhys' "Saying Funny Things Society" at the Largo Los Angelos! Get tickets here.
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Source: Rhys Darby's Twitter
== Leslie Jones ==
Leslie's off to see the yankees!
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Source: Leslie's Instagram
== Vico Ortiz ==
For Latine Heritage Month, Vico was featured in a Glaad article!
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Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter
== Samba Schutte ==
There's quite a lot of speculation going around because of how active Samba is regarding AoNZ and OFMD....he's been sharing a LOT of @adoptourcrew's Glaad Media Awards stories...
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And reminding us he went to New Zealand 2 years ago...
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And.. what is with these Roaches in a box? Some folks have said... 3 pictures = S3, some have said they see S3 in the roaches themselves. What do you think?
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Source: Samba's Instagram Stories
PS: I love that the Advanced Chemistry Movie Socials are clowning with us all.
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Source: AdvancedChemistry Twitter
== Rachel House ==
Can it be? Is The Mountain finally coming to dvd and digital! Apparently! Oct 2 is the day in the US - AoNZ Oct 1!
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Source: TeMaunga's Instagram == Linds Cantrell ==
Lindsey with a new Haircut!
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Source: Linds Cantrell's Instagram Stories
== Crew For Life Hoody ==
Final hours for the ShopStands Crew For Life Hoodie!
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Source: ShopStands.com
== Adopt Our Crew ==
Our crewmates over at @adoptourcrew have been trying to keep engagement gowing with a couple prompts! If you have twitter please hit them up, they'd love to hear from you!
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Source: AOC's Twitter
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Source: AOC Twitter
Our Friends over at @adoptourcrew also put together some cool research regarding shows that have been picked up by Netflix! Check it out here!
Source: AOC Tumblr
== Watch Party Reminders ==
Sept 26 is the end of Season 1 of OFMD with @adoptourcrew and @astroglideofficial!
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Source: Adopt Our Crew Twitter
== Articles ==
The Mary Sue put an article out about the OFMD Cancellation, but it caused a little controversy because of this glaring error:
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If you wanna check the article out below here it is:
Source: Sorry I can't remember who I found it from initially!
== Bi+Sexuality Day ==
Happy very belated Bi+ Sexuality day! As always-- you are seen, you are valued, you are valid; no matter who you've chosen to partner with, or who you've been with in the past. So much love your way lovelies <3
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Source: Glaad Instagram
== Fan Spotlight ==
= Our Flag Means Fanfiction =
New Episode of Our Flag Means Fanfiction-- this time The Fluff Episode! Check it out on their linktr.ee!
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And new episode of Gay Pirate News Hour on October 5th! Check it out on Our Flag Means Fanfiction Youtube!
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Source: Our Flag Means Fanfiction Instagram
== Love Notes ==
Alrighty lovelies, I wanted to get so much more done today but I ran out of picture room and I'm catching up on so many things so everything is behind. I want you to know that you are doing a great job out there. Not just with clowning/honking, but with life in general. Things keep happening, and you keep on kicking, and that means so much to me, so much to your crew! We care so deeply about you and so when you succeed, or you struggle, we want to be there with you every time. <3
This world is hard, but you keep being kind regardless, and we're so proud of you for that. Sending so much love crew <3
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Source: Katie Abey's Instagram
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spaghett-onaplate · 4 months
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depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed
#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself#and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change#it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly#so there was somewhat of a gradual progression#but still#also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time#i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i#had been socially involved#anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change#and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find#the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever#and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha#(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically#it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni#ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that#but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped#and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr#i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years#and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it#and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing#kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao#i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school#and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build#--ing towards#which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now
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*naruto and sasuke arguing*
sasuke: well at least sakura offered to come with me when i left, you just tried to fight me
naruto: oh what I’M the team freak for not wanting to willingly go live with orochimaru?
sasuke: ……..touché
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thelaughingmerman · 7 months
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part of what gets me is i cannot explain to you just how bad of a state ive been in the past. god six months now i guess. like so absolutely terribly debilitatingly bad. but ive still been able to focus on silly fish and drawing with such a passion that its given me something to do. and its made things somewhat more bearable.
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aliennooboo · 2 years
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hmm
#nonsims#been thinking of the support group that starts this sunday#in a way my brains are all 'you don't need to go if it makes you uncomfortable!!! you can just stay home!!! that would be sooo comfy!!!'#but at the same time i recognize that stepping out of my comfort zone might be very good in this particular case#not that i haven't been out of my comfort zone all my life lol#i just know that i need Something that feels real and important in my life#i need to build myself some kind of a life where i will still have things to live for if/when i lose the most important people in my life#and you know what. i counted the social things i've done independently as an adult#like sure my bf's friends visit us a few times a year#but for me those visits are 100% tied to my bf and i would never see those people without him cos they're HIS friends#i do always refer to them as our friends but the reality is that i would never hear from them again if me and the bf split up#so i counted the stuff i've done independently (school or work or hanging out with mom/grandma/bf not included)#i've had dinner with my coworkers TWICE (i didn't want to go but i didn't dare stand out by not going)#i've been to a bar with my work partner ONCE (after one of those dinners)#i see my BFF 2-3 times PER YEAR#that's it. that's my independent social life for AT LEAST the last 12 years#so you know if i were to go to the support group and attend all 11 meetings...#that would be like the biggest social thing for me in my whole adult life#and it's so funny cos it's an AUTISM support group!!! my biggest social thing would be an autism support group!!!#so i'm trying to get into this mindset that i'll go at least this first time to see what it's like
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mielgf · 1 year
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no social experience has felt quite like being a 20-something year old managing people significantly older than you
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foxcassius · 14 days
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my period is um. killing me actually
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jungtoria · 3 months
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haters will have you believe that revel aren't close but in reality they literally treat each other like sisters. by which i mean they would give a kidney for each other in a heartbeat but also they would actually just rather die than say something genuinely nice to each other undiluted by ten layers of sarcasm and one million roasts.
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princessmyriad · 4 months
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.
#personal#i dont really know how to talk about this but i am scared. for myself. not for my system but for me and also for my sys#im primary protector. i am the oldest being in this body by time (not by age). i was one of the first created at the bodys 9month old Thing#ive always had a background almost co-con role. not fully cocon but i contribute to a lot of the blur because im always close enough to#the front to be able to step in as quickly as possible if needed. and to give instructions and warnings to whoevers in front and needing it#the last maybe 2 months? 3? ive taken up a more active hosting role in a cycle with 3 others#im really worried that its been happening so much that its impacting my duties as primary protector. im scared the brain has been#keeping things from me or shutting of knowledge i did have access to to help me adjust to concept of hosting#i cant see the inner as clearly as i could. i know my girlfriends in there somewhere but reaching out only has like a 12% chance of#getting through when ive spent the last 14 years almost living on top of her as she was the old host.#it feels rough and scary. like i know shes in there i think our gatekeep would tell me if she became dormant even if i was full host so i#i have to belive shes alright in there but i do miss her so bad. i want to know shes okay. i want to hold her#im mostly worried about losing more access to information i used to have and diminishing my use in my protector role as a result#i dont want to be a host. i need to feel like i can talk to my guys and gals and pals with the clarity and communication weve spent the last#4 years building. i feel there are more capable than me to replace me and allow me to step back and resume background-host/protector stuff#they are untrained and unfamiliar with our life but theyre not trauma holders. what do they call those? normal parts? dont like that languag#but they dont have the trauma related issues that some olthers/old hosts do and can be trained in the running of the life#we dont work we dont really leave the house due to agoraphobia so we have the time and space to train a new host#idk what to do#idk where this went i guess this is venting you can ignore it#but i guess the solution is to talk to the one cohost i can still talk with and see if they can do some hiring for me#get them to head in and see if the brain will cooperate to bring someone else out to take my host spot soon#or make one but thats not ideal id prefer to avoid that if we can. but i can feel myself reaching my limits for this#somethings gotta give soon either way#system#although we already have 3 other hosts in roster and several alters created specifically for that hanging out inside too so maybe#maybe things wont crumble if i just decide to step back on my own. if i can. harder to step back when i cant access inner but maybe if i can#then we will survive with the 3
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squirmydonnie · 6 months
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I feel like I tend to have pretty bad ideas
CW: unreality in tags
I don't know that I'm venting. But it's hard for it to not sound that way.
But I'll put warnings because I don't see how else I'd feel okay without putting them there.
It's just more fair that way
#cheeseburgerboy#recently doing things. to help me more#i am afraid of not having cookie and BC around. but its probably best for me. and ive been managing okay#i have spent the last few years with them and others. so it makes sense im not used to it. and that its also uncomfortable#plus also. i remember when i had first quit cookie 12 daydreaming. and how weird it felt#and nothing felt good. everything felt better in daydreaming.#its not the same as that now.#i miss them hurting me and hurting my feelings. the things they would do for me. and the conversation we'd have.if we had it#but im trying not to dwell on it.#its been a fear even before quitting cookie 12 daydreaming. that i would forget all the times we had together#all the memories. ans i don't see why I'd ever want to forget.#even the bad things were good. and before quitting id imagine myself daydreaming forever. and i was alone. but it wasn't bad.#sometimes i wonder if ive made a mistake. because i can never go back to the way it was. i can't see my friends or family again.#i will never see the goats. or ride the bus. i won't go to school. i won't have my mama. because these things aren't owed to me.#their owed to cookie. and i just want to leave him alone. and it doesn't want to talk with me at all if xe doesn't have to.#BC no longer has any interest in me. so why would i keep staying there?. why force them to beat me?. whats the point.#i feel i should at least try to have my own life. im just working towards living. i haven't felt my life was my own.#its going ****. not bad. so. ill keep trying. i think its a **** idea 🦑
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takeiteasyjoan · 10 months
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Okay okay I think when December starts, I think I'm gonna go ahead and get a Planet Fitness membership. My plan will be to go Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays. Probably just try to do what I used to do, 30-45 minutes treadmill, 30-45 minutes on the weight machines, and then like 15 minutes on the elliptical to end. Probably to start I'll just do the treadmill for a couple weeks because I stopped going to the gym regularly in like 2017(?). I'll also use "Couch to 5k" or a similar app to get me going with the running because, again, I have been pretty sedentary outside of my retail job for like 7 years so yeah.
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pettydisco · 1 year
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I'm not ready for it to be september again. I haven't done enough.
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silverislander · 1 year
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holy fuck. google docs ate my entire character/planning/worldbuilding document for neri. it's all gone
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adreamfromnevermore · 6 months
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Headcanon that the Bats must be the most infuriating members of the justice league. And it's got nothing to do with what they do or don't know or even their general skills and egos. Everyone is very used to Batman and the expectation that him and any of his spawn are somehow going to be three steps ahead of any issue they bring to the table ever.
No no, the infuriating bit? The stalking.
Listen, this is a family of freaks and weirdos. They work so well together because none of them were normal to start with and then they ended up traumatized. It's practically common practice in that family to accept that nothing is what it seems at face value and that all of your siblings are attempting to pry into your private life and cases at any given moment. I think for them it's honestly weirder if you take what they say at face value. They speak a language holy separate from any normally socialized person and it is a language of lies and half-truths that relies on the assumption that all parties are aware of that.
They're the most infuriating bitches around.
They'll tell someone something and appear to do the opposite and when confronted will have the most convoluted but sound reasoning of why they actually did exactly as they promised too.
They regularly pick people's pockets and hack into personal information because for them? That's practically a love language. They're obnoxious and they aren't even aware of it. Someone asks them to just tell the truth and they react like they've been shot. They're probably offended when they realize that someone hasn't been at least attempting to dig into them back, like come on man. I thought we were friends but you didn't even Google how long Nightwings been around? We've already put the bar on the floor for you guys? My siblings already have a full dossier ready on you because they caught us on camera in your home city during that 2 minute conversation we had 3 months ago. They sent it to me a few hours later. I think they got Oracle to help cause usually it takes them at least 12 hours.
You think they're being nice and friendly and then you realize that they have a nice little file compiled of everything you've done in the last five years, where you went to school and every note your teachers ever made about your behavior a decade ago when you were still a high schooler and fairly normal. If asked they'd probably be willing to bring out the family tree they built for you. They know what you did last summer better than you know what you did last summer. They have pictures, pictures that should be impossible because there's no way they were stalking you then and those sure don't look like security camera footage.
In reality Bats and Superman get along so well because that man is an investigative journalist and when they first met he could not leave it alone. Bruce was charmed the first time Clark Kent started doggedly attempting to ask him if he knew anything about Gothams new cryptid. It was cute how off base he was. But he was trying!!!! Bruce was sold for life! He dropped an dossier on lexcorp off in Clarks apartment a few days later. As a gift.
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sunshine-on-marz · 3 months
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Lost and found
Spencer Reid x Reader
In which Spencer almost loses the love of his life, literally and figuratively
TW: angst with a happy ending, criminal minds level depiction of violence, mentions of death, it takes a little to get to the actual plot but trust me it’s worth it, (tell me if i missed any)
Word count: 3.3K
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To know Spencer Reid was to be absolutely enthralled by him. You were both 16 when you met, granted you were 16 in your junior year of highschool and he was 16 working on his 2nd PHD, but you were both 16 nonetheless.
It had taken some convincing to get a place in his life, not because he didn’t like you or your company, more because he was waiting for your ulterior motive to show itself, or for your patience to wear thin. It never did.
You knew vaguely about his mother, mostly through a news article you found from a few years back, talking about the prodigy like he was more of circus attraction then a 12 year old. It had mentioned that he also took care of his sick mother, and with his hyperfixation on finding a cure to schizophrenia, you’d connected the dots.
But you still didn’t want to assume.
“Hey Spence, why’re you so set on finding a cure?” You ask, gesturing to the 8th book on schizophrenia you’d seen him read in the 3 months you’ve known him.
“My mother” he says, closing the book and placing it infront of him. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m curious about what goes on in the mind of Spencer Reid” you smile “though, I’m sure you could tell me exactly what’s happening up there, down to the chemicals”, he laughs at that
“I could give you an idea” he says, you hover your hands over the book, he nods, you open it to the last page.
“508 pages, how long would that take you to read?” You ask
“A little under 10 minutes, if I had to guess, I don’t know how many words are on each page” he says
“Well I’m not counting so I guess we’re gonna have to stick with an estimate” you joke, he smiles again.
You sit in silence for a minute, just looking at each other, and the book. There’s a light tension, unasked questions float between you.
“Can I be invasive?” You ask, Spencer nods
“You usually don’t ask first” he smiles
“You suck” you reach to hit his arm, you don’t. “I won’t hit you before asking about your sick mother, actually”
“I appreciate that” he laughs “but what do you want to know?”
“What’s her name?” You ask, he seems a little shocked.
“Diana.”
“And you take care of her?” You already know the answer, but he’d never said it explicitly.
“Yea” he nods, he looks at you like he knows what you’ll ask next
“Well, tell me if there’s ever anything I can do to help. Her or you, I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to do alone, props to you spence” you smile, and if someone saw his face right now, they’d assume you asked him- well not many questions would dumbfound Spencer Reid but that’s not the point.
“You’re not gonna ask if I hate it? Or if I want to put her in a home?” He asks, sounding more confused than you’d ever seen him
“Do you want me to ask that?” You counter.
“No.. not really” he looks at his hands, which are rubbing together. A nervous habit of his you’d picked up on rather quickly.
“Well then I won’t ask it” you smile, so does he.
It’s a week later when he tells you why he’d been so shocked that day.
You were on his front porch, about to meet his mother for the first time. He said she’d been having a good day, and though you weren’t exactly sure what that entailed, he said it with enough excitement that you decided to just ask later.
“When you first asked about my mom, you asked what her name was” he says, you nod.
“Thats usually my starting point, yea” you laugh softly “why, was that the wrong thing to ask?”
“No- no no no. It was the perfect thing to ask! I just- you were the first person to ask what her name was before you asked about what’s wrong with her” he says, and he looks sad, so you offer a hand. You know he’ll say no, but you don’t miss how he smiles everytime you offer.
“Wanna tell me about her? I never know what I’m walking into meeting my friends parents, I would’ve brought her flowers but I didn’t know what kind she liked” you say, and his smile goes from soft to wide and bright.
He is ineffably beautiful.
“She likes lilies” he smiles “and she’s really nice, when she’s, yknow” you just nod. And then he holds out his hand, you take it. And that’s the first time you ever touched Spencer Reid.
You met his mother that night, it was uneventful, but it was nice.
That’s a lot of your friendship with Spencer. Uneventful, but nice. More than nice, it’s wonderful. He’s wonderful. You’re there when he gets his first PHD at 17, your there when he has to put his mother into assisted living, you’re there when he gets the letter saying he’s been invited to the FBI academy, you even drive him to go meet Agent Gideon.
You see him off at the airport when he goes to Quanico.
And that’s the last time you see your best friend.
After a while weekly phone calls became monthly, and monthly became and occasional text on birthdays and holidays and informing the other of big achievements, but by his 3rd year as an agent, friendships were hard to maintain.
You’d accepted never seeing your friend again.
Spencer hoped he’d never see you again, because he knew he didn’t have the guts to reach out, and he knew that the only time his teammates seemed to see old friends was when they were a part of a case.
But he also knew you.
And he recognized your necklace the second he saw the pictures Penelope had on the screen.
“The second and third victims haven’t been found, but they’re believed dead” JJ says, Spencer barely hears it.
“I need air” is all he manages to say as he rushes out of the room. Derek went after him and caught him as he collapsed.
“Hey man, what’s goin on?” Derek asked him, holding onto Spencer’s shaking shoulders as he tries to stay upright.
“I can’t- she can’t- she can’t be dead” his words were barely audible and even less coherent.
“Do you know one of the victims?” Derek asked, and Spencer nodded.
He more than knew you, he’d held you while you cried, he’d slept in your bed the night his mom went into care, you were the only person there for him at his graduations, he’d helped you decorate your first apartment. You were so much more than someone he knew. And you were so much more than victim number 3.
“Spencer? Hello?” Derek’s hand waved infront of Spencer’s face as he zoned back into reality.
“Sorry” I he muttered as he started to stand up. He and Derek walked back into the briefing room, he doesn’t apologize for his outburst, he just sits and waits for Penelope and JJ to continue. They do.
“Well, 3 girls went missing in New York City within a span of a week. The reason we’re on this case is because they all worked for the same law firm”
Spencer takes a shuttering breath.
“The first victim, whose body was found dumped in a dumpster by a homeless man, was 56 year old Mrs. Shelly Kailee, a lawyer at Shelly and Dylan law firm, she was a co-owner along with her Husband Dylan. The two other victims, who are still currently missing, are Darleen Calvin, and Y/N L/N. Darleen is 28 and a practicing attorney at the same law firm, she’s only been practicing there for a few months after graduation from University of New York in January. Y/N is 25 and is working as a receptionist at the law firm while working on her law degree at Cornell. Both girls are reportedly very sociable and very kind, but from what we’ve been told, Y/N seemed to be more acquainted with everyone while Darleen seemed to just have a large group of friends. That’s the only information we have on them” JJ says. It seems everyone’s eyes drifted to Spencer, but his were dead set on your face on the projector. Smiling. You had the same smile. You were still wearing the same necklace you wore every day since he gave it to you at 18 when you graduated. You were still as beautiful as he remembered.
“She wouldn’t let anyone take her to a second location, not without a fight. We’re probably looking at a fairly athletic man, unless we find out that she sent someone her location. Then it’s probably someone charismatic, charming, played himself as a friend” he says, and everyone nods.
“You think she’d fall for that?” Morgan asks, he gets a few glares. But Spencer nods. “I think I saw her have a conversation with a homeless man once because she thought he might be lonely.” He says “so yes”. Hotch clears his throat “Spencer is there any possibility she’s.. changed since you knew her?”. Spencer shakes his head “we only really fell completely out of touch a few months back, she seemed pretty much the same the last time I called her, which was probably 6 months ago”
You could’ve cut the tension with a knife.
“Spencer I’m sorry-“ Emily says, he cuts her off.
“You can be sorry if we find a body” he says. And they get the message.
“Wheels up in 10” Hotch says.
Spencer works that case like a dog. There’s not a moment where he isn’t doing something to find you. Something to make sure you’re okay.
A few times, Derek had to pull him out of the police precinct, just so he’d get a couple hours of sleep.
He was beside himself.
Then the tapes showed up.
On the front steps of the police station, there was a box, with 4 tapes, each labeled with a date of the days you’d been missing, the most recent being from the day before.
The first started with a voice they later confirmed to be Shelly’s. A final message to her husband and kids. Tearful messages to each one about how much she loved them. And then a gunshot.
The second tape was worse. It was of you and Darleen. Spencer recognized your voice immediately, he could tell you were holding back tears. Darleen on the other hand was sobbing. You were both pleading for you life. You were a bit more composed, and he quickly recognized some of what you were saying as examples he’d said to you when talking about what usually does and doesn’t work on killers.
He never intended you to have to put those lessons to use.
And the selfish part of him wonders if you thought of him when you spoke.
The 3rd tape is the shortest. It’s just a gunshot and a scream. Your scream. He, for the first time in his life, sincerely hopes that you watched someone get killed.
The final tape is just you.
And it breaks him.
There’s a few seconds of silence before your voice starts.
“This is a message for Spencer Reid, and the rest of the FBI. My name is Y/N, and if you’re listening to this. I am dead.”
And his face falls.
“Spence, meeting you in highschool was the greatest thing I’ve ever done. And I love you, I love you so much Spencer. And I hope-“ the tape ends.
Spencer listens to that tape another dozen times.
The cops find Darleen’s body before lunch.
He doesn’t have it in him to care.
He listens to the tape again. And then it hits him.
You had never once said you met Spencer in highschool. You always, always made it a point to say that you were in highschool, but he wasn’t.
And it was currently summer, and the highschool was empty.
“Guys I know where she is-“
Hotch cut him off with a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Spencer she’s dead” he said, his voice wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t gentle either. Spencer could’ve punched him.
“They’re at the highschool. Trust me” his voice was shaking, not with doubt, but with fear. Fear that both he and Hotch were right, and that in a couple hours he’d see you again under the worst possible circumstances.
But they went anyway.
He was zoned out most of the car ride, ignoring Derek’s questions of if he’s sure he can handle this.
For Spencer, it doesn’t matter if he thinks he can, because he has too.
He’s a few feet past the doorway when it really sinks in that he might leave the building again with your lifeless body in his arms. He pushes the thought aside. It felt like betrayal not to try and have hope, because for Spencer, you were hope incarnate. It would feel disrespectful to take that from you without asking first.
He heard it before anyone else did.
He all but ripped the door open, the local PD turning on their heels at his aggressive movements.
But there you were, in a chair, sobbing into your binds. He was infront of you in seconds, shouting for someone to cut the ropes holding your wrists and ankles as he removed the cloth from your mouth.
“You’re okay, you’re alright now, I’ve got you” his hands gently holding your cheeks as you leaned forward into his chest, your arms wrapping around his torso once they were cut free.
“I knew you’d come- I knew it. I told him but he said you wouldnt find me so- so in the tape- oh my god did he send you the tapes?” He cut off your manic rambling with soft shushing
“I know you knew, you always know, and yes we got the tapes. You did good, you did everything perfect. I understood.” He assured you, running his hands through your hair.
Emily came up to you and Spencer, putting her hand on his shoulder.
“Does she know where he is?” She asks.
He starts to speak, but you do it first. “Maybe the janitors closet? Or the bathroom? He- he made us scrub the floors, he was like- he was psychotic about it” you say, she nods and leaves the room, Spencer just tucks your head back under his chin.
“You’re doing so well” he whispers
“Spencer I want to leave” you cry
“Alright, alright. Let’s get you out of here” he says, slipping his arm under your knees and lifting you. You probably could’ve walked, but no one was shocked that he chose to carry you out.
He asked the EMTs more questions than your frazzled mind could even think of.
“Dr.Reid, she’s going to be fine. It’s cuts and bruises and maybe a few pulled muscles, she will be fine once she gets some fluids and a good meal in her system. “
He still didn’t believe it.
He didn’t believe it when the nurses told him the same thing, he didn’t believe it on the car ride back to the precinct after you were discharged, and he didn’t believe it when you sat next to him during your cognitive interview.
He’d fought Hotch about giving you one, but Hotch said that having a solid story will help make sure the man who did this is kept in prison for as long as possible, and you’d volunteered.
“You really dont have to” he says, you shake your head
“Spence i can handle it” you say
“Im not leaving your side.” He insists, you laugh a bit, which all but calms him down.
“I didnt think you would.” You offer your hand, and for the first time he accepts the invitation.
The interview makes you cry, which could’ve been predicted, but it still breaks Spencer’s heart.
After that he sets a semi-permanent ban on anyone asking you about what happened.
JJ brings you a change of clothes and you thank her profusely as she walks you to the bathroom and helps you wash your face and body as best as you can with wet paper towels.
Spencer anxiously waits outside.
“She’s with JJ, man. You can go outside and take a breather if you need” Derek offers.
“I’ll go outside and take a breather with Y/N when they’re done. Im sure this isnt where she wants to be right now.” Spencer says, Derek sighs.
“Spence, that girl might be one of the most well adjusted victims we’ve ever seen, she’ll be okay if you step away for 5 minutes-“ Spencer cuts him off
“I wont” he says “do you not get that? She’s well adjusted, Im not. I am not well adjusted to almost losing her and im not well adjusted to having her back so Derek would you please stop suggesting that I need space from her because space from her is the last thing I need right now” they stand in silence for a minute until you leave the bathroom.
“Spence? Everything okay?” JJ asks as she walks out of the bathroom after you, you quickly finding your place leaning against Spencer’s side.
“Yea we’re good” Derek answers for him, placing a firm hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and leaving with a small nod of understanding.
Spencer guides you outside.
He sits next to you on the bench outside the precinct, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you.
“Im really glad you picked up on that” you say
“Picked up on what?” He asks, his hand moving from next to you on the bench to your lap, resting on top of your own.
“The highschool thing, i honestly didnt know if he’d even send the tapes, kinnda figured he was making them for himself” you say, interlacing your fingers with his “but I figured it was worth a shot”
“It was smart” he says, squeezing your hand “took me awhile to realize”
“Did it?” You ask “and here i was thinking you were a genius. Spencer when have i ever skipped a chance to brag about you?” You smile at him, he shrugs.
“I was under a little stress” he says, pulling you closer.
“I know, im sorry I scared you”
“Dont apologize, this is not your fault. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” You just nod.
There’s silence for a while, it could’ve been hours, neither of you would’ve noticed, or minded.
“Do you want to move in with me?” He says it before he even realized he thought it, immediately looking just as shocked as you. “I am so sorry- i just- well i figured-“
“Spencer” you grab his hand. “We’ll talk about it” you say, and that seems to be the right answer as he wraps you into a hug.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay” he whispers, you nod.
“It doesn’t require moving in for us to stay in contact” you say
“But you’re so far” you just nod in response. “I dont want to lose you again” he whispers
“Spence you didnt lose me, im alright-” he stops you
“Thats not what i meant. Not entirely” he clarifies, you sigh and pull him into another long hug.
“My lease ends next month” you hum
“See you in Virginia next month?” He asks, you smile
“We’ll talk about it”
There’s never a conversation about if you’ll move in. Spencer just Venmo’s you (he got Garcia to teach him how) 300 bucks along with “plane ticket or take out dinner for a week” which makes you laugh, and it also makes you call him to ask approximately how much of your stuff would fit in his apartment, he says he’ll make as much space as you need.
A month later you show up to one of Rossi’s dinner parties hand in hand with Spencer, JJ hands Derek 20 bucks, and slowly, everything falls back into place.
(PS: Spencer makes sure you have everything you need to finish school online because he’ll be damned if you gave up your dreams for a man, even if he himself is that man.)
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This might be the longest fic ive ever written. This took 2 days and a few tears but finally it’s done. Im tagging the pookies bc Ykw i worked too hard not too @the-phantom-author @thesockbehindthewashingmachine @mariasont @st4rgzer @canonically-a-genloser
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