#i have spent the last few years with them and others. so it makes sense im not used to it. and that its also uncomfortable
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chaoticly-shy-dragon · 2 days ago
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I'm back with more demigod dead boy detectives (parts one and two for those interested)! In short, Edwin is a son of Athena (born at the turn of the 20th century) who spent seventy years in the fields of punishment by accident - after he escaped it was 1989 and most of the gods had moved to America of all places.
And despite all that, St Hilarion was still functioning as a demigod heaven. Edwin is not happy. At all.
Charles on the other hand is having an interesting time all around. The backstory for him that I came up with starts from before he was born. The OG pjo au that I read had his father be Ares and yes?! I adore the Frank Zang of him?
But his mom and Ares didn't click in my mind until I realized that Ares is in an on-and-off relationship with Aphrodite - who is cutting and sharp and tough but also soft and ditsy and a bit shallow. His past lovers don't all need to be veterans or kickboxers. It was an eureka moment, to be honest.
Charles' mom (name still in the works) met Ares in a museum showcasing ancient pottery and jewelry - some of them Greek - most of which depicted old heroic tales or bore the scars of the years. They started talking completely by chance - Aphrodite had stood Ares up and he didn't feel like going back to what he was doing. He decided to check this collection out - to reminisce or to try and remember fallen friends. Or just to sulk. Either way, he was there.
Charles's future mom sees him and the conflicting aesthetic of his clothing and the display he was looking at makes her want to talk with him. They hit it off. He asks to see her again and the rest is history.
They are together for four months before she gets pregnant. As expected from a god, Ares disappears from her life with only a few words. Charles's mom is left alone with a baby, in a shitty apartment with no family in the country.
It sucks. Like a lot.
Then she meets Paul Richard Rowland.
(I'm sorry but I can't do Paul's name dirty in a pjo au, I just can't. Although the irony was amusing enough to make me consider it for a whole second.)
They hit it off even with the occasionally crying baby in the next room. Soon they are engaged to be married - and married soon afterward. Charles's last name is changed and would you look at that - a happy family.
Not.
Charles is a charming and athletic boy with a love for ska and a bit of a temper. His dad is a cunt and his mom is quiet. That's fine until it isn't.
In an argument, it gets out that Richard isn't Charles's actual father (he is 14 when that happens). Stuff gets progressively worse after that (both with Richard and with the monsters - Richard's whole "something is wrong with you" really drives in the "I am different" mindset you really don't want in an untrained demigod) until Charles' mom gets desperate and contacts the boarding school - Ares had assured her that it would always have a spot for Charles.
(The phone number is that of the school board of all the still functioning demigod establishments. Had Charles been a girl they would have referred the mom to one of the all-girls or mixed schools. It's a system run by descendants, wind spirits and satyrs.)
((It's not as efficient as say sending satyrs to schools, but they only have so many satyrs. They do the guardian routine! Honest!))
Fast forward and Charles has been to St Hil for almost a year and a half. He is a semi-full-year camper in the sense he went home once for one summer and then only for two to three days a year.
He gets along with his siblings and the cricket team. He is friendly and nice but 80s racism and classist bullshit exist - he can't be too vocal with his thoughts and opinions less he is ostracized by his peers, he has to play a role he only has half the script of. The demigod thing isn't always a blessing.
He is a deft hand with daggers and knives, he is skilled with a sword - but he would prefer to play cricket or go to concerts. No magical barrier means nightly patrols and the occasional monster attack.
Cue the death scene. It plays like canon but with weapons. He is chased into the freezing lake by his siblings and his former mates. (And Charles had been so excited about having siblings - but this - they - he couldn't call brothers.)
There aren't any naiads during the winter - or they are sleeping deep into it. No one intervenes. He manages to escape his pursuers by going deeper into the woods until he comes across an old shed.
Charles goes in.
(He didn't hear the sharp snap of twigs and branches in the other direction of the one he was going. He didn't notice the second pair of footsteps shadowing his own.)
((He does see the lantern.))
And they finally meet. Isn't it grand? (TBC)
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squirmydonnie · 7 months ago
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I feel like I tend to have pretty bad ideas
CW: unreality in tags
I don't know that I'm venting. But it's hard for it to not sound that way.
But I'll put warnings because I don't see how else I'd feel okay without putting them there.
It's just more fair that way
#cheeseburgerboy#recently doing things. to help me more#i am afraid of not having cookie and BC around. but its probably best for me. and ive been managing okay#i have spent the last few years with them and others. so it makes sense im not used to it. and that its also uncomfortable#plus also. i remember when i had first quit cookie 12 daydreaming. and how weird it felt#and nothing felt good. everything felt better in daydreaming.#its not the same as that now.#i miss them hurting me and hurting my feelings. the things they would do for me. and the conversation we'd have.if we had it#but im trying not to dwell on it.#its been a fear even before quitting cookie 12 daydreaming. that i would forget all the times we had together#all the memories. ans i don't see why I'd ever want to forget.#even the bad things were good. and before quitting id imagine myself daydreaming forever. and i was alone. but it wasn't bad.#sometimes i wonder if ive made a mistake. because i can never go back to the way it was. i can't see my friends or family again.#i will never see the goats. or ride the bus. i won't go to school. i won't have my mama. because these things aren't owed to me.#their owed to cookie. and i just want to leave him alone. and it doesn't want to talk with me at all if xe doesn't have to.#BC no longer has any interest in me. so why would i keep staying there?. why force them to beat me?. whats the point.#i feel i should at least try to have my own life. im just working towards living. i haven't felt my life was my own.#its going ****. not bad. so. ill keep trying. i think its a **** idea 🦑
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myladysapphire · 4 months ago
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To Gwayne, with love
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tired of being ingored and undervalued, you take your dragon and leave to find the one person who sees you for who you really are; your uncle, Gwayne Hightower
based of this request
word count: 5,086
CW: MDI, 18+, smut, loss of virginity, p in v, fingering, oral (f reciving), incest, angts, love letters (if the title wasnt a hint), fluff, love confessions, not proofread!
Gwayne Hightower x neice!reader
Masterlist
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Growing up as the eldest child, and eldest daughter of Alicent and Viserys you had long felt unwanted and overlooked.
Where your twin, Aegon, was seen as a future king, the rightful heir, you were seen as only a daughter, pushed to the side and out of the limelight.
Always looked over, even when it came to marriage. Where it made sense for you to marry Aegon, Heleana married him instead.
You were overlooked, and often forgotten.
Even events held in your honour were overshadowed, be it by your twin or your eldest sister Rhaenrya.
Countless nights tears had filled your eyes as you were pushed aside in favour of another sibling.
It was a funny thing really, you were the eldest daughter and yet were the last to be betrothed, excluding Daeron that was. And yet you had once been dubbed the Realms heart, you had been kind and sweet. But years of neglect, being undervalued and ignored had turned you cold and restless and made you a rebel. Where your uncle Daemon was the rouge prince, you were the defiant princess.
You had stopped waiting by the sidelines, stopped keeping too yourself and your thoughts stopped being quiet. you become outspoken, even more so when your brother was crowned king.
But all that seemed for nought as you were now meet with roll of eyes and the sound of the key locking your chambers from the outside.
You couldn’t say you were surprised, not when your mother seemed to hate you more than Aegon.
She never understood you, only one person had.
Gwayne Hightower, your uncle.
You and he had an understanding that others could only envy, you couldn’t put it into words but ever since you had meet him you felt inexplicitly drawn to him.
And yet you had only meet him thrice.
But those three times amounted into countless letters.
When one was sent two would follow, even on the road Gwayne never failed to write.
Until now.
You were sat in your chambers and an ache in your chest as you read through the last of Gwayne letters. Near two weeks had passed since his last had arrived, and these past two weeks had been when you had needed his letters the most.
dearest niece,
Words cannot describe the joy I felt upon seeing you the other, even if only for a few hours before my departure.
You have grown ever so beautiful, and I envy those who got to watch you became the beauty you are today, though I envy them more for the endless pleasure of your company.
Who knew your wit was even more compelling in person, dear niece?
I sure did not and yet your endless humour is known what I crave as I am stuck of this endless rode with ser Criston as the most interesting of my companions.
And let me tell you he is far duller than you painted. (Not that you painted him to have much of a personality aside form swords and a love for oranges.)
Perhaps it his cockiness or the self-righteousness he has as the new lord hand, which makes his so dull. He seems to love to point out his new station to us all, especially my Hightower knights, as if that will win him any favours.
Though I truly believe he thinks himself funny, though his voice is always far to monotone to decipher what is an attempt at a joke or what is orders and commands.
Gods, I wish I had stolen you away with me, even just to share the looks at Criston ‘jokes’ as he calls them.
Honestly, he is perhaps the dullest man I have ever met, what your mother sees in him I’ll never know.
But I must admit little of my time is spent completing his joke when I cannot stop thinking of you.
Tomorrow, we ride to rook’s rest, he says he has some plan, I do not quite believe it will be a good one, but I shall prey to the seven that we will be victorious, and I may see you again.
Yours, Gwayne.
You had replied far to quickly though being locked n your chamber after yelling you would ride your dragon to meet your uncle would of course leave you with little to do.
To Gwayne,
I am truly sorry you are stuck with such a dreadful man, if I had gone with you I can assure you however there would not have been much time to dwell of Cristons joke attempts, I would steal far to much of your attention, perhaps enough were you were unable to fight in this silly little war.
I do hope your thoughts of me do not distract you too much.
I wish you great luck in at rook’s rest though I fear you may have to face Meleys, and in which case I pray my mother sees sense and allows me to ride out and join the fight on moonfyers, though I Highley doubted.
But from Aegon’s visit to my prison cell (my chamber’s), it seems he is quite egar to fight, though seeing as how the small council so easily sway his mind, I doubt he will, unless he drinks himself into a false sense of courage that is.
But I pray you do not repeat those words, especially to my mother.
I too crave for your presence; it is a misery that despite years of letters we have met thrice! And the third was only days ago.
 Perhaps when you go, we can make your visits permanent.
I pray for your victory uncle, and your next letter.
With love, your dearest niece.
You had sent that letter 12 days ago; rooks rest was 10 days ago.
Of course, the journey back must be accounted for, but no one had any news, besides the death of Meleys and the princess Rhaneys, the queen who never was.
You had rather liked her, in fact you hoped to model yourself of her in some way. Though you had no right to morn you suppose, you had never spoken to her bar the common pleasantries.
You stood starting out of the window, craving the day you could smash them down and make your escape. Though where you would go, you did not know. Before the war you had one destination in mind, oldtown. Now there was no one there for you, just as there wasn’t anyone here.
The forgotten daughter. No matter how defiant you became you would only be tolerated and ignored. Your actions simple receive a tolled eye and of course, the action of yet gain being locked in your chamber.
Perhaps if your mind hadn’t been so caught up in your loathing and thoughts of jumping from your window onto the back of moonfyers you would have noticed the door opening and the feel of hands slowly covering your eyes.
You jumped in shock as your eyes were covered, only to calm down when a voice spoke.
“Guess who?” a mans voice teased, though it was the voice you had ingrained into your memory.
“Gwayne” you breathed turning around.
He laughed as you hugged him.
“When did you get back?” you asked, arms still wrapped around him.
“Only moments ago,” he sighed, “did you miss me?” he teased.
Slapping his arm lightly, you stepped back “of course not”.
“Hmm…really?” he tilted his head, clicking his tongue, “I could have sworn your letter said- “
“Stop it!” you said hitting his shoulder again.
“Fine!” he said raising his hands up in mock surrender, “only if you top hitting my arm, your poor uncle has just fought a battle”.
You rolled your eyes “and am I to presume you were victorious uncle?”
“If you could call it that”.
“What do you mean?”
He looked nervous, an expression you had never seen on him before, “your brother Aegon- “
“Aegon went! That fool”
“a fool who got himself injured”.
“what” you asked, voice full of concern. Though an outcast, overshadowed by your twin, you still cared for him greatly, even if he never showed care for you in return.
He explained what had happened and your mind spun, no one had said a thing to you and yet your twin brother lay dying in his rooms.
“I must go see him” you rushed out, heading towards the door, only for Gwayne to grip your arm.
“Go later.” He insisted, “for now stay with me! and here my woeful tales of battle”.
Shaking your head with a laugh you sit back down, listening to tales of Gwanye’s journey and of the battle, and all thoughts of Aegon were forgotten.
You woke up finding yourself wrapped in Gwayne arms on your settee. You didn’t remember falling asleep, only talking and watching the sunset and rise once more.
It must have been past noon and yet no one had knocked or come to see you, not that they had before now.
You looked over at Gwayne, he was tired, even after hours of sleep he still had bags under his yes.  
Removing yourself from his arms slowly, you made your way out of your rooms and towards your brothers.
Aegon lay alone. The room dark and empty, bar his aching, unconscious body, half his body covered in bandages, his body deadly slit and his breath shaky.
You moved closer to the bed, coming forward and placing a soft kiss on his brow.
He may be terrible, drunken whoremonger but he was still your brother.
“Aegon” you breathed heavily, taking his unburnt hand in yours, “I- “ the doors opened, and your mother barged in, “get out!” she demanded.
“Mother, I- “you said standing up.
“Get out” she said once more, coming to sit by Aegon’s side.
Standing up and moving towards the door slowly, “he’s my brother, I have every right to be here!”
She looked at you, scoffing “that matters not, now leave and go back to your rooms”.
Rolling your eyes you left and stormed back to your rooms.
“Gwayne” you breathed, seeing him now awake and sitting up, reading a book.
“How Is Aegon” he asked, as you approached.
“a sleep? I do not know my mother sent me out only a few moments after I had entered.”
He kissed his teeth, “your mother has changed much recently”.
“Recently? She has always been liked this, with me at least”
“I know, my darling… I think she- “he stopped himself, looking at you, “I am not sure what she thinks actually, me and her where never close growing up”.
You huffed, looking over at him and realising that the book he was reading was in fact your diary.
“Is that my diary!”
“no” he said dragging out the word as he moved the book out of your reach.
“Where did you- how did you”
“Do not worry how your “beautiful and daring uncle” found it”.
You gasped, crawling over him to try and reach your diary.
He laughed, as you grasped at the book, “give it back” you insisted.
“But Gwayne would be never- “
You reached the book, slapping it out of his hand, “how much of it did you read?”
“Why did you not want me to read of how much you missed me?”
“Gwayne” you sighed, looking at him, you were practically lying on him, your hands leaning on chest as you reached for your diary of the floor.
“darling” he replied, before looking at you sadly, his hand reaching to caress your cheek, “I have to go soon”.
“To your chambers or to oldtown?” you asked sadly.
“Oldtown, I – “
You interrupted him, “when?”
“We leave after dinner, we thought it best to travel at night, out of sight of dragons”.
“I see” you said moving off of him. He reached for you, trying to draw you back towards him.
Everyone always leaves or ignored you. It seemed no matter how close you got you were so easily abandoned, never once had someone stayed.
“I would ask you to come, but your mother would never allow it” he said shaking his head.
Why would she allow it? It would make you happy and the gods know how much your mother craved your misery.
“Do you think there will ever be a time when-when we can spend limitless time together?”
“I hope so, I- “he always stopped himself from saying it, saying the one thing they both craved.
“As do I”
The rest of the day was spent together craving to spend every second that they could together, but in the end, he had to leave. He was bound by duty and honour.
Saying goodbye this time was harder than the few times before it. You both stood in the courtyard, his men stood the side, their own conversations distracting them.
Your mother having said her goodbyes, and had left the courtyard already, leaving you both to say your goodbyes.
“I hope it is not to long before I can see you again” you said looking down to thew ground and kicking at the gravel.
“As do I” Gwayne said grabbing your hand and kissing it gently.
Your eyes shared a look, a look saying everything you both couldn’t.
“I’ll miss you” you breathed heavily, eyes never leaving his.
you both stepped closer, now inches apart.
You moved your lips to kiss his cheek, only for Gwayne to move his head and capture your lips with his, in a soft delicate kiss.  
The shadows of the keep kept you had hidden from wandering eyes as you kissed.
It was short but sweet and left you both wanting more as he was forced to step back from you.
He whispered softly “I will think of you, always”.
“As will I” you said, reaching into you hem and pulling out your handkerchief, you had sown the initial of your name and his ono it, and placed it in the palm of his hand.
Closing is hand you softly placed a kiss onto it.
“goodbye” he spoke, before moving to his horse and riding off, sending you a final look before he left.
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The days tricked by, blurring together. Aegon’s recovering slow and with little change.
You stayed in your room, much to your mother’s delight.
Letters were exchanged between you and Gwayne. But this time the letters seemed different, this time they were bolder, your feelings no longer hidden.
Dearest,
I left you only moments ago and yet I miss you already.
That kiss was everything and more, I cannot believe it took us so long to do it, even of it happened by a mistake.
I am sorry our reunion was so brief, and I wish I was bound to you and not duty.
I shall write again soon, but in the meantime, I hope the thought of you in my thoughts will tide you over.
Yours, Gwyane.
Dear Gwayne,
You just left my side and yet apart of me left with you.
I hope your thoughts are filled with me as mine are of you.
The walk back to my room was a long one, longer than it had ever taken me as I had to drag myself away from you, away from moonfyers as thoughts of chasing after you filled my mind.
My mind was a mess all night, much to my mother’s disappointment. Though I doubt she noticed my mind was with you and not in the keep.
This morrow I was awoken absurdly early and summoned to the small council!
And before you say anything I am not sure as to why, even after attending it.
I seemed to be there as a way to boost Aemond’s moral? Or should I say the prince regents.
I was simple them to watch plans be made, and to be told of an alliance, a marriage between me and some lords son, I believe some Tully.
I refused and they demanded.
I offered my dragon, they refused, and I demanded.
They claimed a woman in battle would only lead to a loss. Even if moonfyers is bigger than most for her age and even rivals Caraxes.
Anything else was ignored and dismissed and I was quickly ushered to my chambers and forced to plan a wedding.
A wedding I wish was with you.
I do not know what to do, uncle.
Please tell me to come to you, and I will.
Yours always.
My love,
The days are endlessly long, and I find myself craving you by myside more than ever.
You chase my every though both awake and asleep.
And forgive me for beings bold, niece, but I can, no will not hold back what I have longed to crave any longer.
I wished I had placed you upon my horse and ridden of with you into the night, defying your mother and brothers’ commands.
But I want you, more than I need air to breath. And for so long I have defied myself and held back my desires, my love for you.
I beg you, come to me.
Forget their plans and demands, come to me and marry me.
I am set to arrive in old town in two days, leaving you plenty of time to come to me.
With love, Gwyane.
To Gwyane,
I will come to you, it may take a few days, but I cannot stay here. And I will not stay away from you any longer.
With love, your heart.
you sat in your chambers, contemplation how you to leave.
Though there were secret passageways in your room, you had never used them. They were like a labyrinth in truth and the one time you had speed in them you feared you would get lost.
And the guards stationed outside of your door were stationed for the exact reason you were event you were currently planning.
your other would never let you go willingly, not now especially.
But then again you doubted she would notice you were gone, at least for a day or two.
Heleana may notice, but she wouldn’t say a thing.
Aemond had just been given what he always wanted and would flaunt his power as much as he could, meaning he’d keep put of your way, in fear you would ‘act up’, as he called it, and embarrass him.
This meant that the guards were your only issue, and perhaps Larys spy’s. though you cared not for them for what could they do to stop you? Tattle to Larys who would sell the information for the sight of your mother’s feet? Even then you would have a few hours.
Luckly for you however, you knew your guards. And they had a penchant for wine.
“Steffon, Gregor” you whispered opening your door a bottle of Dornish red in hand.
“Princess” they nodded, tuning around to ignore you.
“You must be bored” you started, “perhaps you can join me for a drink?” you said, fluttering your eyelashes.
They turned to face each other unsure of what to do, “oh come on, know one will care. You’ll still be guarding me, won’t you?”
Their eyes wandered to the bottle of wine “is that the only bottle, princess?”
You scoffed, “of course not”.
They smiled and ushered you in to your chamber.
It was funny, you must have done this a dozen time before and they still fell for it every time.
And being such lightweights, they were quick to fall into a drunken sleep, allowing you to grab your bag and make a run for the dragon pit.
Running through the streets of Kingslanding at night were dan, especially in your rich clothes and jewels.         
And seeing as you had only walked to the dragon pit once or twice, with the company of a dozen guards, the run was a lot longer than expected.
Getting lost in the never-ending streets of flea bottom was easy, and before you knew it you had somehow ended up on the streets of silk.
“gods” you mumbled, looking around in search of a sign to lead you in the right direction.
You could see the dragon pit, so at least you weren’t too far away, only issue is the brothel with the name ‘Chantaya’s’ seemed to stand in the way of a quick exit.
“sister” you heard someone say, and the sight of Aemond exiting said brothel, through you into a sprint once again.
You were sure you looked like some pick pocket as you ran through the street, Aemond hot on your tale.
And with being such a stranger to kings landing you found yourself meeting an end and Aemond catching up to you.
“Let go of me” you muttered trying to pull yourself free from Aemond’s grasp.
“Who let you out” he sneered.
“Does it matter?” you sneered in return, “what are you even doing here?” you asked, and Aemond face dropped.
“I could ask you the same”.
“I wanted to go to the dragon pit” “the dragon pit” he reiterated, not believing you. “To what? Declare for the usurper?”
“Gods no” you near yelled, “I- “you were hesitant to tell him, having never got on along with him and never having much to say to him at all, this was honestly the most you and he had spoken since the start of the war. “I wish to go to oldtown”.
“why”
“To…to see Gwyane”.
“Our uncle?”
“Do you know of another Gwyane I could possibly wish to see in oldtown?” you said snidely.
He hummed, looking at you with a smirk, “I am your prince regent, I command you know” he said, “one word from me and I could have you locked in the black cells, or I could command you to go to oldtown to gather forces, with Gwayne”
You hated that you looked at him hopeful and hated even more that if he asked you would beg.
“But why, dear sister? Should I command you to oldtown? You are the future lady Tully after all”.
You scoffed, “oh please, we both know the Tullys are hardly loyal now and the second old Grover Tully dies they’ll declare for the black’s”.
“true”
“And why would you want me here anyway? I do not listen, and I defy your every move, sending me a way would better your rule, would it not?”
“Oh sister, you truly have been undervalued. Fine I shall take you to the dragon pit and order you to oldtown.”
Order you? As if there was a single part of you that did not already crave to be there, with him.
The walk to the dragon pit was a quiet and awkward, with Aemond pulling you by the hand, a tight grip as if you would try to escape.
Not a word was exchanged even as you entered, only your words commanding the dragon keepers to fetch you moonfyers and Aemond stood beside you in his usual stance.
He gave you a taunting wave as you took flight, and you never looked back.
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It took five hours for you to reach oldtown.
A storm thundered as you entered the reach, rain dowsing your and obstructing your vison. Had it not been for the bright blue scales of your brother’s dragon, Tesserion you were sure you would have flown into the Hightower.
Landing, you were quickly greeted with guards and the face of your brother Daeron.
“Brother” you greeted as you slide of your dragon, “a pleasure to see you!”
“And you, Gwayne said you were coming” he nodded, hand raised to stop rain pouring over his face, “come in, quickly”
The Hightower, was exactly as you envisioned, filled with riches and symbols of the seven. It looked like a museum almost.
You were brough into a room lined with seats and walls filled with books. Painting filled with the faces of old lords and ladies, and tapestry depicting Aegon s landing in oldtown and his coronation.
“niece” you heard a voice breath, causing your inspection to come to a halt as you turned and faced Gwayne,
“uncle” you breathed in return and not a moment later were you running into his arms and your lips meeting once more.
This kiss was different than the one in the courtyard, this one was filled with longing, filled with pure love and desire.
Years of want filling you mouths your lips moved against each other.
“Gwayne” you whispered against his lips, as you both breathed heavily, your heads leant against each others.
He whispered your name in return, “you came” he breathed, not quite believing it.
“of course, you asked…and the prince regent commanded it”
He laughed “what?”
“when I was making my mistake i came across Aemond leaving a brothel” you laughed, “and somehow he decided to command me to oldtown to gather forces”
“oh?” he said, head tilting, “I see…does that mean you now command me?”
“do I not anyway?” you asked tauntingly.
He laughed, grabbing you to him once more and pulling you into another kiss, “I believe we command each other, my love” he said breaking the kiss.
“my love?”
“my love” he agreed, caressing your cheek, “I love you” he finally admitted.
And you smiled. Looking at him as he always looked at you.
He always had seen you, understood you when no one else did.
And the look in his yes, it was pure love and you had never felt more seen than in this moment.
“I love you” you replied, and he smiled.
“come with me” he said taking your hand and leading you up to his room.
His room, though perhaps smaller than others, was still large and full of all things Gwayne. With his own mural and tapestry.
“do you like it?” he asked, taking note of your eyes that had not left the tapestry he had commissioned.
“is that?” you asked, unsure if you were seeing it right.
“Moonfyer and you, yes”
“gods, Gwyane” you said breathlessly, a mural of you riding moonfyers for the first time, your second time meeting Gwyane and the first time you and he realised the bond between you both.
You turned to face him, and kissed him once more.
Unlike before this kiss was heated, passionate and full of lust.                                                                                                 
His hands moved to your waist, as you slowly moved towards the bed, your hands reaching and pulling at his clothes, taking them of and leaving him in only his small clothes.
Your dress wet and soaked was quickly torn of you intern, leaving you only in your soaked chemise.
Their lips broke apart as her legs hit the bed. Taking each other in Gwayne moaned at the sight of your breast peeking out through the now sheer chemise.
“can i?” Gwayne breathed, hand coming to toy with the strap of your chemise.
You nodded, allowing your chemise to slip and leaving you bare before him.
“gods” he breathed, “ you are beautiful” he said, before pushing you down on the bed, his lips connecting with yours.
His lips moved from your mouth to your neck, nipping at your skin, causing you to moan softly.
He kissed his way down your body, before he reached your cunt.
“can i?” he asked once more, eager to taste her cunt.
“yes”  you said, not quite sure what he intended to do until you felt his nose nudge between your thighs and a slow lick alone the length of your cunt.
groaning at the taste, he quickly went back licking and tasting your cunt, like a man starved. You moaned pleasure, hands moving to tug his hair as he found your clit.
Touching yourself had never felt like this, the sheer pleasure you felt as he sucked your clit into his mouth was better than any orgasm you had brought yourself to before, even more so when you felt his fingers toying with your entrance.
You tensed as his fingers entered you. They were thicker and longer than your own and you started to feel the stretch as he pumped you full of his two fingers.
You moaned, your body moving off the bed as you his fingers pumped in and out.
His hand moved to your waist gripping you down as he continued to fill you, your moans filling the room as his third finger entered you and you soon reached your peak.
He slowly backed away from you, pulling down his small clothes to revel his hard, thick cock.
“oh!” you spoke, at the sight of him.
“oh? Not good enough niece?” he asked teasingly.
“gods, it, yes” you nodded, reaching out to him.
He laughed, before slowly crawling onto the bed, his body covering yours. Taking your lips his, in a passionate and heated kiss, as his legs slowly parted yours as he positioned himself at her entrance.
“Are you sure?” he breathed against your lips, hand holding your waist as his cock teased your entrance.
You nodded, reaching forward to kiss him again, “yes”.
At the word he entered you slowly.
You groaned at the stretch but found no pain as he entered you.
His long cock filling you, a bulge appearing in your stomach as he allowed time for you to adjust.
“gods, you feel amazing” he groaned, moving his head to the nape of your neck “can I move?” he groaned, as your walls wrapped around him.
Nodding, “yes” you breathed. And wasting no time he began to slowly pump in and out of you.
You moaned as he thrusted into you, your hips moving to meet his as he picked up the pace.
He groaned at the feel of you moving against him, has hands gripping your waist as he started to thrust into you faster, he soon found that sweet spot inside you, that quickly turned you into a moaning mess. And soon you were wrapping your arms around him, clawing at his back as you felt your peak it washes over you and the feel if his seed filling you.
Your breath was heavy, his even heavier as he lay on you, his face still in your neck leaving soft kisses as he started to move of you slightly.
“marry me” he said, giving you soft kisses between his words. “this place is filled with septon’s it will be easy to find one to marry us.”
“okay” you said, looking into his yes.
“okay?”
You laughed, “yes, Gwyane I will marry you.”
taglist
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beiasluv · 8 months ago
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— op81, cs55, cl16, ls2
a/n: spent so long on the graphic 💀
yourinsta
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liked by mclaren, landonorris and 49,183 others
yourinsta call me pitbull cuz I’m mr worldwide 🤫 (+🇦🇺🇪🇸🇲🇨🇺🇸)
view all 729 comments
landonorris coppiers
yourinsta you’re my og 🫶
landonorris just og? 😔
username I swear if oscar gives us nothinggg
username MY BABY IS SHY OKAY?
username GOOD DAY TO BE A LOGAN SARGEANT FAN 🦅🦅🦅🦅
username I could only pray the Spanish flag is for Fernando 😩
— oscar piastri
Nervously sipping on his emotional support orange juice. Maybe too much nervous sipping.
“So, what’s your type?”
“My girlfriend?”
“Tell her she’s mine too.”
“WOw, will do.”
Cheeks turning red, munching on the fries like a little chipmunk he is.
“I mean– I have three sisters so…”
“That’s a green flag.”
“Thank you?” a piece of chicken in, a smile comes out. “That’s it?”
“Maybe if he’s…Australian, maybe.” you shrugged.
“Yeah.”
“And if he’s…wait. what sign are you?”
“Don’t know..I think it’s kinda nonsense.”
“That’s a red flag.”
“Sorry?” cheeky.
The orange juice was left unattended for a minute. Good sign. Chuckles were still evident.
“Let’s get serious here…” shifting in your seat.
“Yeah.”
“You drive for a living?”
“Yeah, I go around in circles ‘nd stuff,” juice pause. “I could drive you around Melbourne..if you’d want to–”
“And you’ll take me back by eight? Maybe offering your hand as well?”
“Yeah,” squinting face. “I could do that.”
“Lovely.”
— carlos sainz
Does that thing with his eyes, bending down to take the fries in…while keeping an intense eye contact.
“Smooth operator, you like that song?”
“Everyone favorite song no?”
“Hard choice.” pausing your fries mid air. “Spanish songs that I have no idea what they’re talking about could be up there.”
“Really? Tell me one.”
“The one from fast and furious.”
“A lot of them,” throwing his head back. “Can you sing it for me?”
“Asking for me to sing already. You’re in a hurry Carlos?” a sip of your Diet Coke. “Fast Five?”
“Eh..Danza Kuduro?”
“How could I know?” you shrugged. “What’s the song about anyways?”
“Something like…dancing…er…with tight ass.”
“Make sense.”
Looking confused as ever with that big, brown eyes. Mouth agape and shut every time few seconds, curling into a smile most of the time.
“So you’re still looking for job next year?”
“Huh?”
“Lewis Hamilton? Looking for job?”
“Eh..” leaned back in his seat. “Could be. Are you offering?”
“I’m a pretty busy girl..”
“Really? How busy?”
“So you’re up for it? That’s fast.”
“I’ll have to talk to my manager,” raising his eyebrow. “What is your requirement?”
“A Ferrari driver.”
“Sure.”
— charles leclerc
Trying to not laugh his ass off every five seconds or just completely blanks out. Chicken tasted good though.
“Charles, I have to ask you one thing.”
“Yeah?”
“How do you pronounce your last name?”
“I don’t..I don’t care, really.” Shrugging his shoulders. “Charles. Le. Clare.”
“Hm…maybe just use my last name instead, it’s easier.”
“I– yeah?”
“What?”
His chicken was pretty cleaned up the first few minutes. Plenty of confused chuckles.
“Do you think you are a committed person?”
“I…I…it’s a hard question no?” he put his hand together, in an Italian – sorry, Monegasque way. “I like to say I am.”
“I could tell.”
“Really? How?”
“Your contract with Ferrari.”
— logan sargeant
He was used to burger and fries but maybe he could just tolerate chicken and fries for your pretty company.
“What’s your ideal date?”
“Hm..definitely chicken shop dates.”
“Really? Where’s best chicken you ever had then?”
“This one.”
“That’s not an option.”
Subtle stares here and there, his cheeks might be hurting from all the grinning though.
“What’s your ideal type?” munching his ketchup-ed fries.
“So you don’t do researches.”
“I am now.”
“You know…starting to have a thing for Americans. You have any recommendations?”
“You could start by going fishing in the Keys with me,” stretched his arms.
“I’m not into fishy things.”
“Just boat rides?”
“I could do that.”
Coke break.
“Your thoughts on frat boys?”
“They’re fine,” he shrugged.
“And you’re not like a..secret member? Is it like a One Direction..thing?”
“Maybe better looking?” smirked. “I could see myself being one if I wasn’t racing.”
“Dreams do come true, Sargeant.”
“Ouch,” clutching his chest. “Ah– well– Maybe this other dream could come true as well?”
“You being better looking than One Direction?”
tell me who should be in chicken shop dateee 😩😩
– @namgification @jsjcue @c-losur3
Today’s a great day to take care of yourself!!
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utterlyazriel · 10 months ago
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the green emotion
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someone requested jealous!azriel and i... made up a whole plot. i hope it's decent and fulfills the craving ! i'm a firm believer than he's so silly when he gets jealous <3 friends to lovers, about 4k
Azriel was not a jealous Male.
That was what he told himself. Jealousy was something that possessed the likes of Cassian or Rhys, driven to territorial acts that likened them to wild beasts. Fueled by their protectiveness, their senses dulled beyond reason.
Jealousy was a sharp whip with a taunting bite and Azriel was one of few who did not bend beneath it.
He had adopted a strength over millennia, an iron will, that prevented him from harboring such unsavory feelings. He was a stronger male than that, not so easily willed by strong ugly emotions such as jealousy.
That was what he told himself — as he tailed behind you, hanging back far enough you could not detect his presence, his shadows shrouding him.
It was reaching evening in Velaris, the last remnants of the sun's dappled light scattered across the cobblestones. You were clothed in a velvet cloak that reached down to your ankles. Its hood was drawn up, to cover your face.
If Azriel didn’t know you so well, not the weight of your steps and the lithe you carried yourself with, you may have slipped by unnoticed.
But Azriel was the Spymaster for a reason — and you were keeping secrets.
Truly, it itched and picked at him as he turned reason over and over again in his mind as he followed you. What possible reason could you have for skirting around in the dark? To slip from your friends and cloak yourself, wishing to remain unseen on the streets of your home?
It didn’t make sense to him. No thoughts of treason ever breached his mind. You wouldn’t dare, he knew that. You treasured your family as deeply as Azriel did himself, having bled and fought for your space beside them many years ago.
But as Azriel traced the path you walked, knowing you were fully in your right to go about your business however you pleased, it couldn’t be ignored. Logic kept pointing fingers in the same direction.
If he did not suspect you of withholding vital information from your court, then his quiet tailing must be fueled by something else. Something as trivial as an emotion such as…. jealousy.
Azriel bristled at the thought and his wings shook silently behind him, as if shaking off some imaginary snow.
He did not get jealous.
He was simply… ensuring the safety of his court. Which included your own safety. Even the thought made him grimace in the shadows, knowing the smack he would receive from Cassian if his brother ever heard the implication you couldn’t fend for yourself.
You most certainly could. Azriel and Cassian had both spent their fair share of hours battling against you in the fighting ring, training you up.
And it’s hardly likely that the image of you — donned in your fighting leathers, forehead beaded with sweat, chest heaving as you gripped your sword tight and grinned across the ring — was something Azriel would forget anytime soon.
Cauldron boil him if he ever had to admit aloud just how often he thought of that image.
Still, something within him kept his feet moving, footsteps as quiet as the night.
Faelight illuminated across the cobbles, the light of the rising moon, brighter in this court than any other, cast across the doorsteps of the townhouses. You had wound through the streets and ended up two streets stray from the Palace of Threads and Jewels. On a doorstep that Azriel had never seen before.
Your hood fell to your shoulders as you pushed it back gently, revealing the column of your throat and the curve of your shoulders. The faint moonlight glided across your skin, a luminous glow curling up against your collarbones. Azriel swallowed from his place in the shadows.
It was never a surprise to find you beautiful. To revere your enchanting otherworldly beauty — that Azriel was used to. And yet still, even after all these years, he had not managed to master the way it stole the breath from his lungs every time.
A familiar hunger yawned within him. He averted his eyes from you to the door.
He forced himself to take in the details, listening as his shadows whispered things his eyes could not attest. An artist's home. Damaged and rebuilt in the last battle of Velaris. The inhabitant was a Male, living alone.
Something blistered awfully inside Azriel.
Why would you visit a home such as this? Azriel could think of a few reasons that could warrant a visit so late in the evening, with your face concealed and your footsteps light. He felt his stomach turn over. Something foul burned in his gut.
The door before you opened and Azriel turned his face fast, slicing his gaze to the ground before he could see the Fae who greeted you.
Suddenly, this felt too close to an invasion of privacy. If you wished to keep your lovers a secret, as he himself did, this was a direct violation of your wishes.
That was... if this man was, indeed, your lover.
Something vulgar, something ugly reared up in his veins. Azriel clenched his fists at his sides, siphons gleaming, and willed it down.
Jealousy would not become him. Jealousy was not— did not control him.
And yet he could feel it, coursing through his blood, choking up his throat. Azriel tried to push it down, to fight against it with reason, with logic. You were promised to no Male, least of all to him. But...
But he could've sworn.
As quickly as the words appeared in his mind, Azriel stamped them down with an icy fury.
A silent curse followed them, directed at himself for his own foolishness. How many times would he walk this road before he eventually learned?
There had been no heated moments between you, no wandering eyes, no lingering hands; none that he had not imagined. None that his mind had no conjured up in its own twisted hope.
When you sought him out in the night, tormented by your own mind and how it kept you from sleep, you were seeking... a friend, Azriel realised bitterly.
There was nothing deeper to your decision to show up at his door but no one else's. Nothing was hidden in the way you chose a seat next to him at every dinner, nor the way you found a way to be beside him at the tables at Rita's.
Sitting close enough so that he could smell the alluring scent of your perfume. Could see the gleam of your bright eyes as you glanced at him after every joke, almost as if to see what might make him smile.
No. He steeled himself, shutting down every sweet moment of you he had been subconsciously collecting, holding to a greater magnitude than you clearly did.
You were not like Mor or Cassian. You did not warm the sheets of many Fae beds, slipping in and out of them without a care.
You were... alike to himself, Azriel had thought. Dedicated yourself to one.
He scowled at himself in the dark. This— this rendezvous in the dark did not dispel what he knew about you. It did not make it untrue.
It simply meant his feeble hope, that the one, the Fae you might dedicate yourself entirely was him... was just that—a hope.
It did not sway the reality of the world, the matter of truth that you crept out in the night to meet on shadowed doorsteps. Azriel felt his shadows smoking around him, spun into a frenzy at his unwelcome revelation. He snapped in his wings a little tighter.
Coming here tonight, following you, had been a mistake.
It seemed perfectly logical after that night for Azriel to take a step back, to rein himself in.
Not that there was not much to rein back — but the small actions reserved just for you, the unrestrained smiles, the inside jokes ribbed back at one another.
The things he had perceived as meaning more. He knew, that if he wanted to protect his heart from further ache, he should stop doing them.
But... maybe the only thing he did better than fighting, he thought grievously, was being utterly lovesick for someone who would never feel the same.
At the very least, he would hold his feelings to secrecy. It began with the smallest retractions, like weaning an addict off their favourite drug.
Azriel knew if he pulled away too quick, it would send him into a sort of withdrawal — and after all these years spent together, he wasn't sure he knew how to live with a deficit of you. Of your brazen smile and sparkling eyes.
Slow and sure. Over the next week, he willed himself to quit bothering you, to empty a space in your life so you could invite in others, those that meant more to you. So, there could be space for your new... lover.
Even the word sounded bitter in his mind.
Azriel opted for longer training in the morning. Let his sparring sessions with Cassian bleed longer and longer, not leaving the blazing hot rooftop even when Cass winds up limping inside.
He had received a halfhearted scowl from the warrior, undoubtedly for how unrelenting he had been in his fighting this week.
The time he usually sets aside for you, to read side by side in the library, to bake, to enjoy each other's company — Azriel swept it aside for you, to free up your schedule.
Noticed how you spend your free time down in Velaris. He doesn't dare tail you again.
The week crawls by slowly, stretching out thick, black tar.
Come Sunday, a day you normally reserved for spending with him, Azriel knows his extra insistence on training isn't enough of an excuse to keep you away. He trains late anyway.
True to his suspicions, it takes less than an hour for you to appear— having come to find him.
Azriel can sense you, even before his shadows murmur sweet things in his ears about the most beautiful Fae watching him through the window.
You're lingering at the door, unusually reserved. He can feel your hesitancy, even as he works his aching muscles through yet another set of exercises. His shadows stay in close, the edge of his body whispering in and out of darkness, his siphons gleaming.
You wait, watching quietly, until the sword he's wielding, a strong, broad Illyrian blade, is placed down to rest. Then, there's the soft pad of your feet as you step out into the training area. He hears you coming but he does not turn to face you.
“I've missed you this week.”
Even with his back turned, Azriel fights to keep his expression neutral, even as his eyes flutter at your admission. There's a tug on his shadows, their desire to wisp across to you proving a challenge to resist. He holds himself still, stern, and doesn't even a ruffle of his wings to indicate he's heard you.
"I—" Azriel begins. He still can't bear to turn to face you. "I'm sorry to hear that."
He can hear the noise of confusion that slips from your throat — evidently, it isn't the response you're expecting.
Azriel focuses on the sword before him, his bicep bulging as he lifts its weight and wanders to the stand of weapons. He pretends to be immersed in the decision of which to train with next, even though he's been out here for hours.
Even with his silent cold shoulder, he can still hear you behind him, your feet dragging softly across the ground in what is surely a hesitant nervous action. But still, you haven't left.
"Well, maybeee…" You continue on, voice still aiming for light and breezy, as if he hasn't been avoiding you. You're still trying.
Azriel's chest tightens up with a familiar ache, one that always lingers around you. Since seeing you that night, on another Male's doorstep, its sting has become particularly cruel. Jealousy has a cold bite.
"If you’re nearly done... I mean, if your somewhat obsessive workout regime is finally complete..."
You're winding on, taking jabs that would normally make him smile. You'd take a gentle rolling of his eyes at this point. Azriel turns to you, his face remaining passive.
"I was wondering if you wanted to come sit with me in the library," You say, voice suddenly softer now that he's facing you. "If you’re not too busy, that is.”
Azriel steels himself, eyes cutting to the ground as he forces himself to not wilt beneath your hopeful gaze. He knew it would be hard to pull himself away from you but this? This is nearing torture.
He clears his throat. “I am.”
He turns and begins to peel off the layers of Illyrian leathers from his torso, remaining diligent at keeping himself from caving to you. He can feel the ugly emotion rolling just beneath the surface, a gruesome green monster that threatens his usual composure.
Behind him, he hears your soft, saddened oh. His wings give a tiny shiver at it, even as he continues the methodical process of unwinding after training.
Piece by piece, his armor comes off, until even his shirt has been shed. His skin glistens under the shine of the afternoon sun, the muscles beneath rippling and sore from exertion.
There's a moment of silence and Azriel keeps his head bowed as he gathers himself, prepared to bathe the sweat and grime off himself. It wasn't a complete lie he had told.
Perhaps, he thinks wistfully, he could wash some of his unjust jealousy away with it. Being so unwound by his feelings is taking its toll on him, considering how unused to it he is. He waits, ears keenly listening for the sign of your departure.
After a minute of quietness, he can only assume you've slipped away silently. He sighs, half in relief and half in his sorrow.
"What are you busy doing?"
Your voice pipes up and Azriel glances behind him, surprised that you haven't left after all. His wings tuck in a little tighter.
"y/n." He murmurs your name and it comes out almost as a plea. Now, faced with you pulling apart his loose lie, Azriel finds he doesn't have it within him to lie to your face. "Please."
You don't say anything.
Azriel's shadows dance around him, agitated and frenzied, and he wills them to calm— though, that had always been an impossible request in your presence. He takes a sharp inhale and walks towards the door, leaving you behind on the rooftop.
He gets halfway down the hallway, heading for his room before your voice calls out again.
"Busy avoiding me?"
You've followed him from the training ring and now you stand at the end of the hallway, your arms crossed firmly across your chest. Your face is contorted into a hard expression, a furrow between your brows.
Azriel sighs and turns back to you. He hadn't been able to keep his secret from Mor — why, oh why did he think that he would have any more luck when it came to you?
You— enigmatic, wonderful you. Maybe, all Azriel hopes to do today is to delay the inevitable rejection for a different day. An easier day.
A day where he isn't feeling so easily undone by his the enormity of his envy. Envious of what he can't have but so desperately desires.
As he turns to face you, it's impossible to miss the way your eyes dart down to his bare chest. You stare for a moment too long and it looks like it takes an effort to drag your eyes up. You swallow heavily, the bob of your throat unmissable. Even from afar, Azriel swears there's a glow to your cheeks.
No. No, he wasn't doing that to himself anymore! He wouldn't— he couldn't be having those thoughts about you anymore. You had a lover for Mother's sake.
"I'm not—"
"Oh my Gods, don't even try to say you're not avoiding me." You interrupt him sharply. You begin to stamp your way down the hallway, eyes narrowed, your annoyance clear to see.
A door in the hallway opens. Distracted by something over his shoulder, Cassian takes a blundering loud step out into the hallway before he freezes.
He spots you first, eyes widening and wings bunching up at your obvious fury. His head turns, finding Azriel down the other end of the hallway.
"Oh... Mother, this is happening now, huh? I'm just gonna— uh, get food later." He jerks his thumb over his shoulder, quickly turning and disappearing back into his room. His door closes with a quiet snip.
In the moment of distraction, you don't notice how Azriel has moved away stealthily— his shadows aiding his quiet getaway. He's not entirely sure what his plan is; he doubts he can avoid this argument by simply shutting himself in his room. Turns out, he's selfish enough to be willing to try.
Sure enough, it takes another moment before his wings twitch, his shadows reporting on your incoming footsteps moments before he hears them himself.
He busies himself with digging through his drawers and sends a silent request to the House, praying it might keep the door locked against you.
He can do this— he can swallow down his burning heart and keep your friendship he values so dearly, he swears he can. Just not today.
He hears the door open.
Glancing up, he narrows his eyes at the House and calls it a foul word in his mind. The Faelights of his room seem to twinkle mischievously in response.
"Az," You breathe softly.
His name sounds unbearably tender coming from your lips. His wings give a little rustle, curling closer around himself.
Despite his lack of reply, you aren't deterred. He can hear your footsteps, gentle and not at all like your prior furious stomps down the hallway, as they wind around his bed.
Chest stirring with an old ache, he keeps himself facing away. He slips a shirt on and prays you give him one more day to rein in his treacherous heart. One more day. He just can't do it today.
"Did I... Did I do something?"
Your voice is suddenly a lot smaller.
Azriel softens instantly at the sound of it, feeling his resolve begin to crumble. He crushes his eyes closed and thinks of what he had seen down in Velaris — forces himself to imagine you with another Male, in his arms, in his bed.
But even if his jealousy is so terribly unwarranted, he cannot bring himself to lie to you.
"No," The word grates out his throat roughly.
Because it's the truth. You hadn't done anything wrong and— and Azriel refused to hurt you just because he couldn't contain a few rampant feelings.
"Really?" The tinge of annoyance is back in your words and Azriel can't even blame you.
"Because then why it is that you have been avoiding me since— since the day I was-"
You cut your own words off and Azriel fills in the blank on his own. Since the day down in the city—where I saw you entering another Male's home, hidden in your cloak, like you were meeting a lover— and even though you're completely allowed to do that, I am like every other gods forsaken jealous Male in Prythian, getting upset over this, even if you are not truly mine.
He turns to you finally, his hands clenched at his side and he wills the next sentence out.
"What or who you choose to spend your free time with—" He inhales a long breath, forcing his face to remain neutral even as he feels his teeth grit together. "—is none of my concern."
Your face scrunches up, confused. Then the furrow between your eyebrows is back and Azriel feels a tad nervous. You aren't often angry, least of all with him.
"Cauldron boil me," You bury your face into your hands for a second. Then you drag them down languidly with a groan, peeking up at him over your hands.
"Did you follow me?"
Azriel feels a bit off-guard. His voice isn't as sure when he says, "It is my duty to survey my court."
You bristle a little at that and the nervousness within him grows a little bigger.
"'Who I choose to spend my time with?'" You repeat his words back to him with a tone of incredulity, your hands motioning wildly before you. Faintly, Azriel begins to sense the feeling of foolishness rising within him.
"For Mother's sake, Az, I was buying you a birthday gift, not sleeping with him!"
The moment the words burst from your lips, two things happen. Azriel stiffens, the true nature of your stealthy endeavor through Velaris making a fool of him indeed.
You were... cloaked and hidden because you had been planning a surprise. For him. For his birthday. Something he hadn't even considered was around the corner as it held no high merit with him. His eyes widen and his lips part an inch.
And you — you straighten up, eyes wide, looking as though you've been struck by lightning.
"You were jealous." You gasp.
Not a question, a statement.
"No," Azriel denies, without thinking. His heart rabbits in his chest. The irony of acting out the way he did, because jealousy had blinded him in the first place, is not lost on him.
Suddenly, all his envy is washed away, replaced quickly by a bumbling foolish embarrassment. He wishes he could winnow out of the House. He considers the window behind him for a moment, if only to spare himself from revealing his true feelings to you.
One glance back at your face, your expression edging towards crestfallen, and any thoughts of running away vanishes.
"Yes." He quickly amends, voice meek.
His wings give a little shudder, twisting in closer as he realises what he's admitted aloud. How there was no coming back from this.
No one had ever made him as loose-tongued as you do. Azriel is embarrassed to be caught stumbling over his words.
"I realise..." He croaks out, suddenly finding the slats of the floorboards immensely more interesting. His shadows have slowed from their nervous frenzy, making lazy motions instead, as if to soothe him. "That may not be ideal. My feelings, that is."
A beat of silence. Azriel studies a spot on the floor intently. His heart flounders wildly behind his ribs. His embarrassment seeps something closer to mortification.
Your shoes peek into the edge of his vision and Azriel's head shifts up slowly, his hazel eyes finding yours and burning into them.
His shadows whisper a thousand things to him — but all of them are dulled, quietened, as he simply stares at you. Feels something between the pair of you hang in the balance, just a breeze from unraveling.
Your eyes are bright. Acutely, he realises he can smell relief rolling off you in heavy waves. Amongst it, too, is a hint of... happiness. Happiness.
“Oh, you big Illyrian baby,” You coo, a teasing lilt to your tone.
His cheeks grow warm. Something white-hot tips down his spine as you step in closer, swaying into his space. He can smell the alluring scent of you and his heart thrums in his chest at your nearness, aching to be closer.
"Some spymaster you are, huh?" You say, voice barely above a whisper.
Azriel stays silent but his head tilts to the side just an inch in his puzzlement, his eyebrows knitting together. Hazel eyes peer at you with such an intensity that it sends goosebumps crawling across your skin— his eyes searching your face for answers to his thousand questions.
"Knowing everything except for this." You continue, words feather-soft.
You don’t say what this is but Azriel thinks he knows. Hopes he knows. His hands at his sides clench tighter, his fingers curled up into fists, and the motion catches your attention.
Moving so slowly, you reach out and gingerly take his wrist between your delicate fingers. Azriel lets you. A whine crawls up in the back of his throat and his swallows it back down.
He watches closely as you pull his hand up, forward, cradling it with your own two. His fingers twitch, so unfamiliar with such tender touches.
The shadows scouring around his shoulders burst into a frenzy, circling down his arms and twirling around your intertwined hands. It's as though they're... dancing, Azriel thinks.
"I... hoped." He admits quietly, his voice full of longing.
You shift his mottled hand, turning it gently so his palm is facing yours. Then you hold your own up against it, like you're comparing hand sizes.
Azriel can barely tear his eyes off where your hand presses into his to look up at you. Something molten hot begins to scorch through his veins. A realisation. A dream that may be finally answered. It feels like pure starlight.
Your hand is dwarfed against his own scarred one — and when Azriel curls his fingers, they hug the top of yours gently. You press back against his hand, like the smallest hug back.
You murmur back. "You don't need hope."
Your gaze skirts up from your joined hands, your lips twitching into a nervous smile.
Your eyebrows have drawn together in the middle, just a bit, as though what's happening is something you find devastatingly beautiful. As though you think that way about him. About the two of you, together.
Azriel finds himself thinking of all he would give in the world —all the mountains he'd move and dragons he'd slay— for you to keep looking at him that way.
"You already have me."
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mariacallous · 2 years ago
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Last year, the lead singer of The 1975, Matt Healy, managed to offend a whole lot of Gaelgoirí (Irish speakers) when he appeared to mock a fan’s name – Dervla – at a meet-and-greet.
Healy isn’t alone, though, when it comes to anglophone bafflement at Irish names. A recent study based on an analysis of Google searches revealed the words that British people have the most difficulty pronouncing. The names Aoife, Saoirse, Niamh and Siobhán occupy places in the top 10.
And it’s not exclusively a British problem: I always cringe watching US talkshows where the host quizzes their Irish guest (usually Saoirse Ronan) on the pronunciation of their and other Irish names.
I’ve heard every possible variation of my own name from non-Irish people. It’s not uncommon in Ireland; in secondary school, there were four Niamhs in my class. But I rarely come across an English person who is familiar with it, despite the proximity of our two countries.
In case you don’t know, it’s pronounced “Neev” or “Nee-av”, either is perfectly acceptable. The prefix Ní means “daughter of”. My surname is trickier, and has even tripped up a few Irish people; it can be translated as Herbert, and is pronounced “her-a-vard”.
When I was living in London, I quickly learned that saying Niamh at the counter in a coffee shop or over the phone to make a booking simply wouldn’t fly. This led to the invention of what I call my “Starbucks name”. Anything easily pronounceable with a simple spelling would do. Mia, Sophie and Rose were among my common aliases.
Speaking to others reveals a litany of similar experiences. Aoibhe Ní Shúilleabháin, a designer and teacher, spent two years at college in England having her name mispronounced and disrespected. (Her first name is pronounced “Ay-vah”.) More than one lecturer resorted to calling her “blondie”.
She tells me: “I was asked to say, ‘Three hundred and thirty three trees’” – a tongue-twister that does the rounds on TikTok – “more often than I was asked to repeat my name.” She recalls the lack of interest when she attempted to explain that Irish and English are different languages with different pronunciation rules.
Clearly, the sensitivities at play here are rooted in history: Ireland was colonised by the English and our national language was all but wiped out. A language revival began in earnest in the 19th century, but it’s never quite recovered. Ireland’s most recent census shows that about 40% of Ireland’s population can speak Irish. The English destroyed our language once before, so every little throwaway comment and scoff at our names hurts a little bit more – and ultimately becomes just tiresome. A handful of people even remark, “Oh! I didn’t know Ireland had its own language,” when I tell them about my name.
Writer Darach Ó Séaghdha is all too familiar with these difficulties. (The “rach” in Darach is pronounced like “Bach”, he says.)He hosted a podcast called Motherfoclóir, a podcast about the Irish language and culture, and whenever there were guests on with Irish names, “inevitably the episode would turn into group therapy”. There was one bad experience, he recalls, when he was told that his surname “looked like a wifi password”. But he decided to give his children Irish names, too. It’s a common trend, he says, “because parents with Irish names have been battle-hardened”.
Like the others I spoke to for this piece, writer and director Rioghnach (think “Ree-nock”)Ní Ghrioghair believes that a sense of superiority among English speakers is to blame for the constant mistreatment of Irish names. But she’s defiant. “We are going to scrutinise the British for any transgression regarding the pronunciation of our names,” and other things, she tells me, like British media claiming Irish actors as their own during awards seasons.
There is no easy crash-course I can give to you on the pronunciation of Irish names, but you can always try out “how to pronounce”-style websites (which themselves can be contested). But the simplest and most reliable solution is perhaps just to politely ask an Irish person – and listen attentively to what they say. I may have accepted that English people are very rarely going to get my name right on the first go, but I appreciate a well-intentioned effort. Just don’t laugh at it, please.
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starsinthesky5 · 2 months ago
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nothing's gonna hurt you baby II part 1 || joe burrow x reader
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description: loving what you do doesn’t always mean it loves you back—it takes more than it gives sometimes
a/n: oh my GOD this is so long. it wasn’t supposed to be this long 😃😃😃😃. pls don’t hate me lol. this might have been the longest time i spent writing a fic too which is insane but i mean the word count speaks for itself HA. i really hope this isn’t total shit.  but, so sorry I kept you all waiting for so long!! i really hope this was worth the wait :) i took my time with this one!
also, huge huge thank you to @sofferaddict for inspiring a chunk of this fic! you’re ideas and requests were PERFECT and i hope I did them justice :)
warnings: angst, language, allusions to sex, smut at the end  (👨🚲 does this make sense???)
word count: 28.5 k (IM SO SORRY YALL-)
nothings gonna hurt you baby mini series master list (previous parts found here
——————————————————
Walking into Arrowhead Stadium always creates a complex mix of emotions for you; a rich blend of excitement, nervous energy, and uncertainty. It was a feeling that seemed to linger in the air for hours to come, creating an atmosphere charged with both anxiety and thrill. This mix was a given considering the matchup that was taking place, Joe Burrow vs Patrick Mahomes. It was two of the best in the league going against each other, a rivalry that had captivated the entire football community and had become one of the most talked-about spectacles in recent years. Whenever the Bengals went head-to-head with the Chiefs, the tension was electrifying yet frightening. But it wasn't about fear of losing—true fans knew the Bengals were the Chiefs' biggest rivals for the past 4 years and were their biggest threats—it was more about fearing how intense this game would be, but that also created excitement. The excitement came from knowing that this matchup promised to deliver an intense, high-energy, and nail-biting game that would leave everyone on the edge of their seats.
However, this time, you were feeling more excited than usual. Normally, you’d be on the verge of throwing up while walking through the concourse at Arrowhead, the bright red seats in the stands acting as a warning sign that forcefully caught your attention as if something urgent or dangerous was about to happen in the next few hours. This time, however, the bright red seats produced a feeling of comfort and nostalgia, like everything was back to normal while also reminding you of the memories you had here in years past (some sweeter than others).
You weren’t sure why, but playing the Chiefs made things feel like they were truly back to normal, despite the terrible loss against the Patriots the week before. Maybe it was because Joe always played his best against KC, so this game might just light that fire inside of him he so desperately needed last week. Or maybe it was because you knew how last week's loss put the entire team on notice so today's performance should be near perfect and push things back on track since they knew what narratives were being tossed around in the media right now. 
Whatever it was, the bottom line was that you felt relaxed and confident—a complete 360 from how you felt last week before the game. 
And you weren’t the only one who felt this way today. Joe did too. 
For real this time. 
Flashback to last night 
“I miss you,” he softly said over the phone and pouted as you moved your phone back into your view and flipped over to your stomach on your bed. 
“I just saw you a few hours ago,” you giggled. “I drove you to the airport,”. 
“Yeah, I know,” he said while leaning back against his hotel bed's headrest. “But I miss touching you and feeling you next to me. That thing we did in the car was nice but that only made me more…you know…after we were done. I just miss you, all of you,”. 
You felt your cheeks heat up at his words, remembering in vivid detail what transpired in the car before he left to go board the plane. What started as an innocent goodbye kiss quickly turned into a heated exchange that led to Joe pulling you to the backseat of the Porsche and having his way with you. Even though it had been a few hours, you could still practically feel his hand gripping your thigh right now, feel his hot breath against your ear, hearing his raspy voice chant your name breathlessly over and over. That’s how dazed you still were. 
“Simmer down, Burrow. Gotta save that energy for tomorrow,” you smiled. 
“I can’t help it when my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman on the planet,” he winked while threading his fingers through his frosted tips. “You're not just beautiful, you’re magnetic. There's something about you that draws me in and doesn’t let me go, not just your looks but the way you carry yourself–confident, sexy, and undeniably captivating. Your eyes are like liquor and your body’s like gold. One thing makes me drunk to the point where I lose all sense and the other makes me greedy for more,”. 
“Joeee,” you shied away from the camera and smiled, then hid your face in the soft pillow that smelled exactly like him–crisp and clean, with a hint of his natural musk, and a little spicy–which only made you miss him even more and caused your smile to drop. 
Yeah, you missed him too. How could you not? You had gotten so used to having him around all the time during the past 10 months and all of a sudden he’s not and is spending the majority of his time at the facility, that wasn’t something you were getting used to just yet. You were beyond excited that he could now do what he loved which he had been missing for far too long, but you missed him. You missed those peaceful evenings that you two spent together, wrapped up in each other’s embrace, and lounging on the couch while watching a silly movie. You missed those mornings when you’d get to wake up to his adorable smile and gentle kisses. You missed those late nights you two spent out in the backyard, staring up at the stars and talking about life. Now that football had fully begun, these things would become sporadic and you couldn’t help but miss him every single second he was away from you, even if you had just seen him just a few hours ago like today. 
“What? It’s true,” he smirked, snapping you out of your trance. “I can’t stay away from you, you know that. I just wanna be around you all the time because of the way you make me feel,”.
He wanted to be around you, he really did. But this is what he’d have to deal with for the next 5 to 6 months and it killed him to not spend as much time with you as he wished. The past 10 months were a blessing in disguise for him; even though he was far away from what he loved to do, he was with the person he loved to love. That’s all that mattered.
But now he was close to what he loved to do, but a little further from the person he loved to love–and that sucked. 
“Oh really? How do I make you feel?” you asked while peeking up from the pillow with a cheeky grin.
“Hmm,” he hummed and raised his eyebrow as he pretended to think about how you made him feel. He really didn’t need to think about it, the way you made him feel was so obvious to the point where even everyone around him could see it. 
Just that afternoon, after Joe finally got out of the car and made his way to the plane, Ja’marr and Tee noticed that Joe looked happier, livelier, and more radiant than normal. At first, they couldn’t put their finger on what made him feel like that, especially before a game like this where he’d normally be dialed in and visibly numb. But once they saw the Porsche drive away and a girl wave goodbye in the window, they knew exactly what got him to this point. 
They dubbed this the ‘Y/N glow’, a playful name for the look Joe had whenever he was around them and was giving off specific energy, a specific energy that they noticed he had around you. So whenever Joe showed up around the guys with this glow–without you by his side–they knew something must have happened before with you to make him like this. They applauded your talents, nothing could make Joe this visibly happy, not even football. The way he remained like this even when you weren’t around was remarkable, it goes to show the depth of your love for him and the profound impact you had on him.
That’s why Joe wanted to be around you at all times, the way you made him feel was irreplicable and so good that he was addicted to it, to you. You brought a smile to his face by doing the most minimal things, making him feel a genuine happiness that football could never bring him. You always had a way of making him feel better, even when he was so far gone that he didn’t even know how to pull himself out of that hole on his own. He needed you, he always needed you. Last week was the perfect example; he was almost too deep into that hole of anxiety and self-doubt and pushed you away again, but you once again came right in with no limitations and pulled him back out. He was so extremely blessed to have you in his corner, and he knew that. 
“You make me feel like I’ve already won,” he grinned. 
“Won what?” you bit your lip and asked, flipping around onto your back.
“The best trophy anyone can possibly win,”. 
“Are you calling me a trophy girlfriend?” you furrowed your brows and asked. 
“Oh, no. God no,” he laughed. “I mean, I feel like I’ve already won with you. The greatest thing anyone can have in this world is genuine, unconditional love. I have that…with you,” he said, his tone becoming more serious. “Winning you and your love is the greatest trophy, the greatest achievement I could ever have,”. 
“Even greater than a Lombardi?” you asked, a tear forming in your eyes because of the sudden severity of his voice. The combination of his voice and the emotions you were already feeling from being apart from him created a strong mix. If he wasn't currently on Facetime with you, you would’ve found yourself seeking comfort in his pillow, probably crying your eyes out. “Fuck, I miss him,” you thought to yourself. 
“Greater than a Lombardi, MVP, and Hall of Fame induction,” he nodded. 
“Damn, you really love me,” you giggled as you subtly wiped the tear from your eye, trying to prevent him from seeing that you were a little emotional because you didn’t need him to get distracted. 
“Really is an understatement. Loving you is like being on fire because it’s intense, all-consuming, and totally wild. It burns inside me, making my heart and soul come alive. You're the flame I never want to put out, the passion I never want to lose. You're the light in my darkest hours and the warmth in my coldest nights,”.
“You’re so sweet and poetic,” you blushed, giving him a love-struck smile as you gazed deeply into his eyes through the screen.  
“And you’re so damn cute,” he smiled as he got up from his bed to grab his water bottle.
You let out a soft chuckle, your heart swelling because of how gentle, warming, and loving his words directed to you were, “How are you feeling about tomorrow?” you asked, getting up from your bed and walking over to the bathroom to fix your messy hair. 
“Surprisingly good,” he said as he moved around the room, sounds of shuffling and clanking filling the bathroom as you grabbed your brush. “Practice went well, as you know, and I feel pretty good about where I’m at. Physically and Mentally,” he nodded as he came back into the camera view. 
“That’s great, babe,” you smiled, feeling lighter after hearing him say that he feels good mentally. Last week was rough and you did not want to see a repeat of that ever again, especially after how long it took you to calm him down. 
“I was too hard on myself last week, can’t let that happen again or I think I’ll be borderline psychotic by week 18,” he joked. 
As you spoke, a warm, reassuring smile graced your face. "You're absolutely right. It's not healthy to load yourself with so much pressure. What's important is that you're giving it your all. I want you to know that I'm genuinely proud of you no matter what," you said gently, your hand reaching up to brush back a loose strand of hair.
“Thanks, Y/N,” he smiled. “Kansas City’s always a good game regardless. Tomorrow should be good. Not an easy game, but good. Unlike last week, I feel relaxed and confident. Since I’ve gotten hit a few times, that’s put my mind at ease about the wrist a little bit and I feel good. I’m hoping tomorrow’s game will bring that fire back into the guys, and even me,” he said before unscrewing the cap of his water and taking a big sip. 
“I know it will,” you said while grabbing a hair clip. “At least we know Ja’marr will be fired up no matter what,” you giggled, referring to Ja’marrs long-lasting beef with the entirety of Kansas City. 
He let out a soft laugh, “Ohhh yeah. He’s amped up for sure,”. He closed his water before returning to the camera with a cheeky grin, “I am too, to be honest, but not only because we’re playing the Chiefs. I’m excited to have you here for the game,”.
“Well, I’m excited to be there for the game,” you winked as you grabbed the phone and went back to the bedroom. “My flight’s in like an hour or so and Emma should be meeting me at the airport so we can fly to Kansas City together,”.
“I’m glad she could fly in for the game and keep you company,” he said, talking about your childhood best friend. “I didn’t want you to be all alone since my parents can’t make it and thank god and my big ass contract for letting me get you guys a suite.. I don’t ever want you sitting in the stands because those fans are intense as hell,”. 
“Tell me about it,” you said, widening your eyes. “They’re so fucking loud on TV and in person, it’s like on a whole other level of rowdy fans. I thought Philly had the rowdiest NFL fans but KC might give them a run for their money,”.
“Mmm, I think Philly still wins in that department,” Joe shook his head and said. "But Kansas City definitely knows how to bring the energy, especially when they're up against the Bengals. It's like they're out there with an extra level of fire and even insanity when they're up against us,”. 
“Well it’s a good thing you’re Joe Cool and can effortlessly cool them off by doing what you do out there,” you grinned, making dramatic hand movements to emphasize your words. 
“Thanks, Y/N,” he chuckled, threading his fingers through his soft frosted tips. “I’m gonna let you go now so you can get to your flight on time. I know you get stressed out at the airport so you should probably leave now to give yourself some grace time,” he smiled. “I think some of the guys are going down to grab something to eat from the conference room so I’m gonna go with them,”. 
"You’re probably right,” you laughed and nodded as you reached down and pulled up your sleek, black carry-on suitcase with silver accents. The suspense of the game weighed heavily on your mind as you spoke, "I don't know if I'll get a chance to talk to you tomorrow before the game, so I just wanted to say that you got this, Joe. I know you do. Remember to keep calm, take a deep breath, and dial in on the field. Don't think about anything else–forget about the roar of the crowd, the flashing cameras of the media, the distracting questions from the reporters. Block it all out and do what you do best out there. It's just you and the football,". 
"I love you so much," Joe said as if he was lost in some trance, his eyes filled with warmth and sincerity, while giving you a tight-lipped smile. You could see the genuine affection in his eyes as he spoke those words. He valued your words, advice, and honesty more than anything else. 
"I love you too," you said, unable to contain your joy as a wide grin spread across your face. Your cheeks flushed with a rosy blush, responding to the intense gaze he fixed on you. His eyes spoke volumes, showing an overwhelming amount of love and endearing infatuation that made your heart flutter.
End of flashback 
Hearing him say that he felt good about today's game, with a confident smile on his face and a sense of determination in his voice, was all you needed to fully relax and feel a weight being lifted off your shoulders. You noticed the way his eyes sparkled with a mix of excitement and focus, and you couldn't help but feel a wave of positive energy. You were genuinely excited about the game this time, it was a completely different feeling than you had before last week's game when doubt and nerves had overshadowed your usual enthusiasm.
“Did I mention how amazing you look right now, Mrs. Burrow?” Emma teased as she snapped you out of your trance. You blinked your eyes a few times and realized you were now standing in your suite for the evening which was facing the Bengals sideline, not knowing when and how you even ended up in there. You looked down and noticed you were holding a glass, seemingly filled with a Vodka Cranberry Cocktail, not even knowing how this drink ended up in your hold. “Damn, he has me in a trance even when he’s not with me,” you thought to yourself as you looked back at Emma. 
“Em…,” you said to her while giving her a look.
“What? I’m just stating the facts, Y/N. I know that ring is coming sooner rather than later,” she winked. “Joe is so down bad obsessed with you, I really don’t think he can go another year without officially officially marking his territory with a big, beautiful diamond ring,”. 
"...Yeah," you giggled and nodded a few seconds later, feeling a little shy all of a sudden at the mention of how obsessed he was with you. The thought of marrying Joe filled your mind with a sense of euphoria and excitement, it was a beautiful dream you craved to turn into reality. The past 5 years with him were nothing short of a fairytale, and you two ruled the kingdom you had built together hand-in-hand with no intention of ever letting go. From the moment you first saw each other, you knew that this relationship would be different; and it was. It was different because you two had a connection that neither of you had ever had with anyone before. A kind of connection that only needed one small spark to fully catch on fire. And that fire burned no matter the circumstance: through the rain, the wind, and anything that threatened to blow it out. 
A connection that felt like it was written in the stars–something cosmic, fated, inescapable. Once those stars aligned, everything clicked into place your lives intertwined in a way that felt as natural as breathing. It wasn’t forced and it certainly wasn’t rushed; it was like you were both simply waiting for the universe to do its thing, to bring you together at the right moment. As time went on, you realized just how deeply ingrained that bond was. It wasn’t just the shared laughs, the stolen kisses, or even the way you could read each other without saying a word. It was the way you stood by each other through the storms, the way you’d hold each other’s hands when the weight of the world was too much to carry alone.
Joe had reassured you of his intent to marry you multiple times which only intensified the significance of Emma's words and made butterflies flutter in your belly. Joe knew you were his forever from the second he saw you, it was only a matter of time before he made it clear to everyone. You twirled a strand of your hair around your finger, feeling a warm blush creeping up your cheeks as you tried to hide your smile. “But he’s focused on ball right now and he knows I don’t care when it happens,”. 
“We’ll see,” Emma grinned, her tone of voice making you suspicious but you decided to let it go knowing this wasn’t the time to pick her brain about this subject. “But seriously, you look hot as hell right now. Best dressed WAG in the league by a long shot and man is Joe going to die when he sees this look. Taylor ain’t got nothing on you today,”.
"Hey," you snapped as your jaw fell, unable to hide your surprise. "No disrespect to Taylor. We love her, and I know she's on the enemy’s side tonight, but listen, her music has been with us through thick and thin, every breakup, situationship, and boyfriend. Without her, I don’t think I would’ve been able to get over James. Not to mention, I think she subconsciously wrote Call it what you want and King of my heart about me and Joe,".
“You’re right, you’re sooo right,” Emma said as she nodded. “But like, you look great,” she smiled as she gestured to your outfit. 
You were wearing a skin-tight, cropped, custom-made, orange Burrow jersey that fit like a baby tee. It was a unique piece, specially made to your measurements and featuring Joe’s name and number. Along with the jersey, you wore your trademark ‘9’ necklace, adding a personal touch to the outfit. The denim mini-skirt complemented the jersey top perfectly, adding a casual yet stylish element to your look. The custom white knee-high boots were a standout feature, with a beautifully embroidered ‘9’ on the bottom by your ankle, fashionably showcasing your team spirit. To top it off, you had a vintage Bengals hat on, completing the outfit with a touch of retro charm. Truth be told, you looked absolutely stunning and it was clear who you were specifically supporting tonight.
“I guess I do,” you smiled, taking a sip of the cocktail that was in your hand. 
You spent the rest of the time watching the pre-game warmups, observing how quickly fans flooded the stadium, and listening to how loud it was getting even though the game hadn’t even started yet. There were hardly any Bengals fans around your suite, honestly, all you saw was a sea of red around the stadium–not really surprising since not everyone wants to make a trip to Kansas City during week 2, especially after that loss last week. 
“Holy Red Kingdom,” Emma said in surprise, raising her eyebrows as she looked down and saw a crowd of Chiefs fans right in front of your suite. 
“Yeah,” you nodded as you looked down with her, your eyes scanning the crowd and only seeing ‘15’s and ‘87’s along with bright red shirts, hats, and jerseys. As you looked around the crowd and glanced down to the right, searching for any signs of orange, you heard loud, obnoxious shouting from below. At first, you thought it was just rowdy fans getting excited for the game about to start in a few minutes. But then the words that followed made you feel uneasy, and you quickly looked in that direction.
“Lookie, Lookie. Looks like we got a little Burrow fan up there,” one of the men said pointing up at you. 
“Really?” another man cackled, looking right up at you, his face contorting to a look of surprise once he saw you. “Oh shit!”. 
“No fucking way,” another man howled. “I didn’t think that joke of a quarterback still had any fans around. Especially after that embarrassing loss last week against the Patriots out of all teams. Like how do you play that bad against the fucking Patriots during Week 1? And wasn’t he all ‘I feel as good as I’ve ever felt in my entire career’ like two weeks ago? It sure as hell didn’t look like it last Sunday,” he laughed. “He was probably lying to save his ass,”. 
“That injury clearly fucked him up for good, there’s no coming back from that. He might as well just call it quits now before he gets hurt again and ends up stuck in the hospital bed, I’ve never seen a more injury-prone quarterback since Andrew Luck, Burrow should stop chasing that trophy and sit back down and think about his health,” he laughed, making a mockery out of Joe’s health and stamina. 
“I mean, it’s not like he had much going for him before the injury anyway. He came into the league as this hotshot, sparkly quarterback but has nothing to show for the hype that’s around him except for an embarrassing Super Bowl loss. Not to mention that he was overpaid by a lot I mean, with that contract you’d think he’d won two Lombardi’s back to back,” the other man laughed. “Bitch thinks he’s Pat Mahomes,” the man shook his head and hollered, earning loud laughs and words of agreement from the other men. 
“Hey!” one of the other men shouted up at you. “You’re supporting the wrong guy, sweet cheeks,” he slurred as he pointed back to the field. “A pretty lady like you needs to show up for a real man like Mahomes or Kelce. Hell, we’re probably better than that pussy, Burrow,” he snarled, the hungry look in his eyes making you feel incredibly uneasy.
“Oooooo,” another man teased. “She does look like she’d look hot in KC red. Not to mention how bangin’ her body is and that ugly orange isn’t doing her tits any justice,”.
Emma's eyes widened in shock as she whispered, "Oh my god," and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. The lewd comments from the drunk men made you both furious and highly uncomfortable, causing your shoulders to tense up with nervousness.
“Yeahhh,” the other man shouted, “Come sit down here with us, sweetheart. We can help you take that ugly ass Burrow shirt off and give you one of our shirts to wear…but that’s if you’re lucky,” he winks, earning high-fives from the other men for insinuating something like that. 
He was so obviously drunk. They were all drunk. 
Your heart raced in your chest, each beat echoing in your ears as a wave of anxiety washed over you, leaving you paralyzed with hesitation. Your mind raced, desperately searching for the right words or actions in this strange situation. This was uncharted territory for you, something you had never expected having to confront so you had no idea what to say or do. 
“He’s a failure!”. “Complete waste of talent right there!”. “He can’t even throw like he used to!”. “Career went down the toilet as soon as he was drafted to Shittcinati!”. “He’s one hit away from being done for good!”. 
The insults echoed in your mind, each word leaving a harsh mark and adding to the weight on your shoulders you thought you got rid of over the past week. As the crowd quieted for the kickoff, the echoes of their insults lingered. During the chaos, you could only think about Joe, feeling his absence strongly. The hurtful words triggered familiar feelings of anxiety and worry that you had worked hard to overcome before stepping into the stadium and you didn’t know what to do.
“Y/N?” Emma asked as she grabbed your trembling hand. “Are you alright?” she asked as she gave it a gentle squeeze. 
“Y- yeah,” you lied as you felt your eyes well with tears. “I’m fine. It was just a bunch of drunk idiots, n- nothing to worry about,” you said to her while giving her a fake, rehearsed smile as you felt that pit in your stomach you got last week come back. 
“Are you sure? That was fucking disgusting and so uncalled for, I’m sure we can talk to someone and-,”.
“No.” you interrupted her and said, your voice heavy and almost scared. “I really don’t want to make a scene here and I don’t even think those guys knew I’m Joe’s girlfriend. I really don’t want to be the subject of those annoying headlines over this and make things even more distracting for Joe,” you swallowed. 
“But I-,”.
“Emma, please,” you pleaded as you looked into her eyes. “I’m fine,” you lied again, giving her false reassurance by pulling her in for a hug.
You were not fine. Joe. You needed Joe. The one person who could calm you down, get you to relax, the person who would be able to deal with this and shield you from the disgusting comments. “I need you right now,” you thought to yourself as you felt your throat tighten and tears threaten to spill out. You had never experienced anything like this before and although it was just a group of idiotic men that didn’t know you or Joe enough to be saying all of that, it still felt like a punch straight to the gut because the things they were saying were along the same lines of what Joe was saying to you last week, only they were saying it in a harsher more hateful manner. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to tell Joe about this, knowing that it would just become another distraction for him. 
“This is going to be a long game,” you thought to yourself after pulling away from the hug sitting back down in your seat, feeling the urge to shrink away and hide. The pit in your stomach mixed with your growing anxiety left a bitter taste in your mouth, making you feel exactly how you did last week during the game. 
It felt as if the protective bubble shielding you from the raging storm outside had burst, leaving you once again in the middle of the storm, feeling scared, anxious, and on the verge of being swept away by your thoughts.
“Fuck,” you thought to yourself. “I hope this feeling goes away,”. 
A few hours later - End of the Game
It definitely did not go away.
The comments from the drunk fans set the tone for you for the rest of the game. It seemed like everything went downhill from there–for you and for the team. Some exciting, explosive moments had you on your feet but those were tinted by the other, more unpleasant things that happened. 
You found yourself once again on the edge of your seat the entire game, but not because of the thrill or because you had adrenaline coursing through your veins. It was for the exact same reason as last week–you were scared, anxious, and upset. The game was neck and neck, a pure nail-biter as usual, and the Bengals put up one hell of a fight and honestly should have won the game, but they once again couldn’t do it.
They played good and way better than last week, but just not good enough. 
And then it came to Joe. The one person that had been on your mind since the game began. 
Flashback
"Oh my god!" you yelled as you shot up from your chair, your heart palpitating in your chest as you saw Joe go in for the QB sneak. You could see the determination in his eyes as he charged forward, only to get his shoulder rammed into by a defender. In that split second, you knew it was going to be a hard hit. Joe was brought straight to the ground, his helmet knocked off, and he was immediately crushed by several large opposing players. The impact echoed through the stadium as you breathed, praying he’d get up.
“Holy Shit,” Emma gasped next to you, her hand over her mouth. “I hope he’s okay, that looks like it fucking hurt,”. 
“Joe, please be okay,” you whispered to yourself, your entire body feeling as if it was just thrown into a familiar brick wall. Immediately, your mind wandered over to the moments he had gotten injured in the past, and what just happened in that play was very similar to what’s happened before. The feeling you got in your body just now was very similar to how you felt in those moments. It was as if you were thrown into the abyss, had your heart torn from your chest, or stabbed in the stomach. 
“Not again. I can’t do that again. He can’t do that again,” you thought to yourself as you felt your eyes pool with tears. “His fucking helmet flew off, Emma,” you said as you turned to her, your voice trembling and breaths getting shorter. “And…and his shoulder. The way he went down…,”.
“I know, I know,” she said as she rubbed your back, “But look, he’s getting up and he looks fine”. 
You looked back down to the field, watching as Joe grabbed his helmet and stood up with an emotionless look on his face. As you watched him from a distance, you noticed that there was no hint of a limp in his stride, no flexing of his wrist, and no visible signs of shoulder pain. It seemed like he was moving with relaxation and confidence, showing no physical pain as he prepared to rejoin the game.
“See? It’s okay. He’s okay,” she soothed as she swayed you back and forth for comfort. 
“Fuck,” you whispered as you slowly nodded, taking deep breaths to even out your heart rate, “He’s okay…He’s fine…,”. 
“Yeah, he’s fine,” Emma reassured. “Don’t worry so much. Joe’s a tough guy, a play like this isn’t going to hurt him. Especially now since he’s so so much stronger and tougher, ”. 
“You’re right,” you swallowed, trying to calm yourself down by continuing to take deep breaths and using your right hand to gently rub your left hand (the hand which had the veins that led straight to your heart)—a gesture that always calmed you down that Joe discovered. You rubbing your hand didn’t have the same effect as when Joe did it, but it was enough for now. 
“I just- they can’t do that again. He could’ve gotten really hurt,” you mumbled.
Even though he looked calm and normal, you started to feel more and more uneasy. At the same time, you began to taste something bitter in your mouth, and it got stronger with every breath.
End of Flashback
The trauma of witnessing his previous injuries had left you with a bit of PTSD. As a result, every time he fell or moved differently, you experienced intense anxiety and fear, believing that something may be seriously wrong. 
You had hoped that moment was the only time this evening you’d feel like this, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. 
The QB sneak was just one example from this evening.
Flashback 
“Yeah, and I thought about bringing Ryland but he had to go into New York this weekend with his brother for the Cage The Elephant concert,” Emma said as she took a sip of her cocktail. You two were talking about needing to plan a double date with the four of you (you, Joe, Emma, and her Boyfriend). She also mentioned that she wanted to bring him to the game this evening but he already had tickets for the concert with his brother and wished he could have joined you all. 
“Sooo, I take it you two are getting serious,” you giggled, wiggling your eyebrows. 
“What makes you say that?” she asked, taking another sip.
“We never do double dates, Em. Like ever,” you smiled. “Your exes were douches so you never brought them around Joe and me on purpose as a coupley thing but you are with Ryland so something has to be different,”.
“I could say the same thing about you, Mrs. Burrow, Mrs. Quarterback, Mrs. 9, Mrs. Cincinnati, Mrs. Shiesty,” she teased with a silly smile. “You never brought a boyfriend around me like that for the same reason and here we are, sitting in a suite your lover rented for you, watching him play football, while you’re completely decked out in his name and number.  You and Joe are like a package deal. Inseparable, attached at the hip, and so obsessed with one another. You are locked the fuckkkk in and I could not be more happier for you,”. 
“Emmmaaaaa,” you whined, hiding your face out of shyness. 
“I can just hear those wedding bells, Y/N,” she giggled, pulling your hands down. “Here comes the bride,” she sing-songed.
“Rigggghtttt,” you nodded, laughing along with her and glancing back to the field to see if the break was over and to see where your boyfriend was.
You felt your heart drop and a lump forming in your throat as your eyes locked onto Joe, who was standing crouched down on the field. "Oh my god," you choked, the words barely escaping your lips as you shot up from your chair, feeling the adrenaline coursing through your veins. You walked with shaky steps straight to the edge of the suite window, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once.
You saw Joe standing on the field, his back to you, and crouched down; almost as if he was holding his wrist. Your mind quickly flashed back to November 16th, M&T Bank Stadium, the night he got hurt and was in this exact position. “Oh my god,” you said again, this time more panic evident in your voice. 
“What’s wrong?” Emma asked as she looked at you.
“Joe…he looks like he’s holding his wrist?” you mumbled as you moved to the side to see if you could get a better look. “Emma, I think something’s wrong,” you said, feeling a wave of nausea come over you. 
Emma quickly got up from her seat and walked over next to you, taking a look at what you were talking about. “Are you sure?” she asked with a concerned look. 
“It- it looks like it…oh my god,” you said as you felt your throat tighten, then covered your face with your eyes. “No, no, no, this can’t be happening again. Not now,” you sniffled, trying to hold back tears.
Emma continued to look down at Joe with you, her eyes twinkling with amusement and her smile coming back once she got a better view of him. "Ohhhh, Y/N," she laughed next to you, her pleasant voice filling the air. She placed her arm around your shoulder, the warmth of her touch comforting and familiar, and gave you a gentle squeeze.
“What?” you asked her, peeking through your hands.
“Look down,” she said, pointing back down to Joe. 
You moved your hands down and slowly turned to your head to look at him and what you saw was completely unexpected. 
Joe was tying his shoes. 
That’s why he was crouched down. 
"He was... he was tying his shoes?" you whispered, feeling your heart start up again and a wave of relief come over you, which swept away the nausea. The sight of him crouched down, looping the laces and tying them into neat bows, reassured you that everything was okay. You have never been happier to see him tying his shoes, doing such a simple and ordinary task. 
“Looks like it,” she laughed, then looked back at you and saw your face relax. “You okay?”.
“I think so,” you breathed out, watching him stand back up and walk around like nothing happened. “I just got scared for a second. That position seemed a little too familiar for my liking,” you nervously laughed. 
“I get it. This stuff has to be stressful for you because of the wrist. It’s normal to get a bit of PTSD,” she said.
“I think I’ll be dead by Week 18 if I keep freaking out over these things,” you joked, placing your hand over your heart. 
Every time he did something different, like flexing his wrist or crouching down weirdly, rubbing a certain part of his body, or sporting a look of discomfort—you were scared shitless. The thought of him getting injured again and having to go through all the pain and suffering was your biggest nightmare. 
End of Flashback 
Then, it was Ja’marr’s situation on the field, a situation that had quickly escalated as everyone was running on pure adrenaline and anger. 
Even Joe, who usually keeps his calm in these scenarios. 
Flashback
“Ja’marr looks pissed, holy shit,” you said as you looked down onto the field and saw him visibly angry at the Refs. 
“Look at Joe trying to swoop in and save his bestie,” Emma laughed as she pointed towards Joe who was running to Ja’marr, then grabbing him to move him away from the Ref. 
“That’s Joe, all right,” you smiled, “Always being Switzerland,”. 
You watched as the situation on the field seemingly fizzled out after that, but then also watched as things quickly heated up again and Ja’marr was going right back in. You leaned forward in your seat, “What the fuck is even happening? Why is he so livid?” you said. 
“I think it might have been related to the play before but I think the fact that the Ref isn’t talking to him is making it worse,” Emma nodded.
“Yeah,” you said quietly, your eyes widening as you watched Joe come back into the situation, this time his entire body language showing that he was not happy. You watched as he pulled Ja’marr away from the Ref and then tried to speak with the Ref himself, only to be interrupted by Ja’marr again.
“Oh my-,” you began to say before your breath hitched in your throat at the sight of Joe roughly pushing Ja’marr away from him. 
"Holy fuck," Emma said in surprise, her eyes widening as she watched the intense scene unfold on the field. Both of you stood there, observing Joe extending an arm to try to keep Ja'marr away, but it was clear that his efforts weren’t working. Joe had to keep pushing Ja'marr back while also giving him a piece of his mind. "Y/N, I've never seen Joe that aggressive before on the field," she pointed out, her voice laced with concern as she continued to watch the tense exchange between the two players.
“Me either. He always keeps his cool, so something bad must have happened for him to get like this,” you agreed, the sight of Joe getting heated on the field both concerning and slightly enticing for you. 
“I didn’t know Joe got rough like that,” Emma laughed, trying to lighten the vibes by teasing you, and oh was it working.
“Very funny, Em,” you said, sending her an intense look and trying to hide your smile even though you were laughing internally at what she was implying. 
“What? I mean, if he’s like that out there I can’t even imagine how he’s like in-,” she started to say before you interrupted her. 
“Emma!” you laughed, your entire body shaking from your reaction. “He’d kill me if he knew we were talking about this,”.
“So that means what I’m saying is true,” she giggled while raising her eyebrow. 
You tried to hide your smile by gently pressing your lips together, but the corners of your mouth gave you away, turning up in a slight but unmistakable grin. Your cheeks, with a rosy, playful blush, gave off warmth, revealing everything without you needing to say a word.
“Daaaaamn, Joe,” she smiled. “Well at least now I know that you have a good sex life,” she winked. 
“Good? It’s fucking phenomenal,” you nonchalantly mumbled which earned a gasp from Emma. 
“Ahhh,” she shrieked, breaking out into a fit of laughter with you. 
Although you were taking a lighthearted approach to the situation, whatever happened on the field didn’t sit well with you. You weren’t sure what was going on with Ja’marr and although you were worried about him, your attention was mostly on Joe. His visible agitation, a stark contrast to his usual composed presence on the field, was concerning. He always kept his cool whenever things went sideways out there because he didn’t like getting worked up. After all, that diverted his focus, but this time it seemed like he lost all of his ability to keep calm–which only meant one thing. 
It was getting to him. This game was getting to him. 
End of Flashback 
As the game went on, he only got more and more frustrated. You could tell he wasn’t happy with his performance and the team’s performance by his body language and the grim yet frustrated look on his face. 
His unhappiness was justified, this game was brutal and although the Bengals had an answer for every play the Chiefs made, there were too many careless mistakes that ended up costing them the game. One thing in particular that you knew Joe would repeatedly think about was his fumble in the 4th quarter which the Chiefs capitalized on and got a free 6 points from. You knew he’d obsess over that play because it was his mistake that cost them the ball and why they got those points. 
If that fumble return didn’t happen, they had a good chance of winning the game, and you knew that thought would haunt Joe for the rest of the night. 
You felt awful about the entire thing, how the team struggled against them, how Joe struggled against them, how their ignorant mistakes that should’ve been cleared up were costing them this important game. 
And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, it did. 
Flashback to the last few seconds of the game 
“I just…I can’t believe we lost,” you said as you blankly stared out onto the field, watching as the clock painfully ticked down. “We were so close…he was so close, I..,” you started to get choked up and said, clutching your ‘9’ necklace in the process. “And he looks so..he looks so sad and disappointed,”. 
Joe.
That is literally all you could think about right now. Not the team, not the fans, not the careless mistakes, not the fact that you lost the game by 1 point and a few bullshit referee calls. 
Just Joe. 
“I know, Y/N. I know,” Emma said as she placed a comforting arm around your shoulder and let you lay your head on her shoulder. 
“And Joe’s probably already beating himself up for this and-,” you began to say before you were interrupted by loud, obnoxious yelling again. 
“How does it feel, girls?” the fan laughed as the same group of men from earlier looked up at you and Emma.
“I swear to fucking god,” Emma whispered before speaking up, “Can you all just shut the fuck up for once in your goddamn lives? Leave her alone you miserable freaks,”. 
“Oooo, someone’s getting defensive,” the other drunk laughed. 
“They seem so sad, awww,” the other man mocked in a child-like voice. “That’s what happens when you support the wrong fucking guy, sweetheart,”.
“He was a shitty quarterback, still is a shitty quarterback, and will forever be a shitty quarterback. You got the short end of the stick, babe,” the other man laughed while raising his cup in the air. “It ain’t too late to switch teams…or switch shirts,” he winked.
“Wait a second,” one of the men said while looking down at his phone. “Holy fuck, look at this y’all,” he said to the other men as he turned his phone around.
“That girl up there is Burrow’s girlfriend. Just came up on my feed,” he said as he glanced up at you and showed you the picture of you and Joe from the sidelines at the last home game which made it onto some sports tabloid. 
“No freaking way!” one of the men obnoxiously laughed. “This bitch is his fucking girlfriend? That’s even more embarrassing for her. Supports a shitty ass team with a lackluster quarterback and is dating him? Man, your standards must be low as fuck,”. 
You held your tongue, clenching your fists to stop yourself from defending Joe and yourself. You didn't want to create a scene, but the want to speak up was strong. Your eyes burned with built-up tears and you knew that if you let them fall, you wouldn't be able to stop. “Please stop,” you thought to yourself, your entire body telling you that you needed to be in Joe’s arms. His warmth, his touch, and his words were what you needed right now. 
"Damn, they’ve been together since his days down in Louisiana. That’s like what? 5 years? Damn, he didn't even bother to put a ring on her finger either. So not only is he a bad football player, but he's also proving to be an even worse boyfriend," one man chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to put a ring on her finger. He probably knows she’s a gold digger and is only with him for the money and fame. I mean, look at her? She looks like a slut and is practically asking for all eyes to be on her. Attention whore at it’s finest,” he cackled. 
“Or maybe it’s because Burrow wants to keep his options open. He has to be getting models thrown at him left and right, ain’t no way he hasn’t swooped in on one while being with her. He’s definitely keeping his options open until a hot enough chick comes around and he can ditch this girl. And if one doesn’t, he’ll settle for her and have his homemaker around,” one man laughed. 
“Please…stop,” you whispered, your bottom lip trembling from the anxiety that was spreading through your body. 
“Y/N…let’s just go,” Emma whispered in your ear as she noticed the pain in your eyes. 
“Look at her face, I mean she looks fucking embarrassing,” the man snarled, pointing up at you. “You got something to say or are you as incompetent as your little boyfriend?”. 
“Burrow needs to put that trash to the side and date someone more on his level,” another man howled. “If football doesn’t work for him—which it clearly isn’t because he succckkkkssss,” he yelled. “Fucking a supermodel will give him a lengthy life in the public eye at least,”. 
"Sorry babe, this is what happens when you come into the Reedddddd Kingdommm," the other man said with a sly smile, his voice laced with a hint of mischief as he sang that horrid, cheesy, ear-bleed-inducing tune, his words echoing through your mind along with everything else that was said. 
“Don’t say sorry to her? She knew what she walked into when she showed up in that god-awful number, color, and name,” another man laughed, holding his plastic cup of beer in the air.
You thought he was just raising his cup, but you were so wrong. “Go back to Shittcinnati, slut!” he yelled, throwing his cup at the shield of your suite. 
“Oh my fucking god,” Emma yelled as she quickly pulled you back from the window, both of you watching the cup hit the window and the beer splash everywhere against the shield.
"W- what," you stammered, your voice trembling with fear and confusion. You felt your throat tighten again as panic set in, and your stomach churned with unease. The room seemed to spin as you struggled to make sense of the overwhelming emotions washing over you.
“Hell no, we’re leaving now. This is fucking disgusting,” Emma said as she left your side, grabbed your things, and then led you out of the suite. You were so in shock that it felt like your mind had detached from your body and as if you were watching everything happen from a distance, unable to fully process what was going on.
End of flashback 
You were entirely zoned out for at least 10 minutes as Emma led you down the narrow, dimly lit hallway to the locker room area to see Joe.  It was like you were trapped in a dark, windowless room, the air filled with the smell of sweaty players and damp towels. You didn't know where to go, what to do, or what to say. You felt lost, alone, and out of it, as if the world around you had faded. "What the hell just happened?" you asked yourself, getting lost in the endless abyss that was your thoughts to the point where you barely heard Emma tell you she was going to the bathroom. Your brain wasn’t comprehending what had just happened, but your heart was and it hurt. Their comments hurt, the look in their eyes hurt, and you were hurt. 
“Y/N?” a heavy yet gentle voice said which snapped you back to the present. You turned your head and saw Joe walking towards you, your face quickly turning to a livelier, happier expression to hide your true feelings, he didn’t need to see you like this; not now. His feelings were what you needed to focus on, and given the kind of loss they just had, you knew he had a lot of feelings; yours weren’t as important. 
He pulled you into his chest, tucking your head in his neck and he wrapped his arms around you, “I missed you so much,” he smiled, his strained voice and body telling you how tense he was even if he tried to hide it with his smile.
"I missed you too," you mumbled against him, the rise and fall of his breathing providing a sense of comfort as you felt yourself melt away in the safe bubble that his presence always provided you. The warmth of his embrace surrounded you, and for a moment, everything else faded into the background. 
He let go of your waist and moved his hand up to your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. His warm lips against yours felt like a breath of fresh air, a breath of fresh air he had no idea you desperately needed. Joe immediately sensed the tension in your body as he kissed you. Normally, you melted into him, but this time your posture was rigid, your shoulders stiff, and your movements hesitant. His lips brushed against yours, but he could feel how dry and cracked they were, a telltale sign you’d been anxiously biting at them for hours. Joe knew this habit all too well; it was something you did when you were nervous, anxious, or lost in thought. 
After lingering for a few seconds, he gently pulled back, his brows furrowed with concern. His eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that made it hard to look away. He could see past the surface–the forced calm and the faint smile. There, in the depth of your eyes, he found what you were trying so hard to hide. The pain, the weight of anxiety, the shadows of doubt–he saw it all.
"Something's wrong," he said quietly but firmly, his voice low. He didn’t look away, holding the gaze as if he dared you to deny what he already knew. His hand gently cupped your face, his thumb rubbing your cheek as he waited for you to let him in.
“N- nothing’s wrong,” you said as you gave him a faint smile, your smile and voice not convincing enough. 
“Y/N, I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, remember?” he smiled as he echoed what you said to him last week, “Are you okay?” he asked as he tucked your soft hair behind your ear. 
You stayed quiet for a few seconds, not wanting to burden him with your emotions since you knew he already had enough to deal with on his own. But you knew you had to tell him because you couldn’t deal with this on your own. You needed him.  
“No,” you replied with full honesty, tears pooling in your eyes as you thought about everything that happened again. You stared deeply into his tired blue eyes, noticing that there was something he was hiding from you too. “Are you okay?” you asked him, praying he didn’t brush you off like he did last week. 
“No,” he quickly replied with the same honesty you gave him, his face dropping once he admitted that he wasn’t okay, and you knew exactly why. “But we can talk about that back at home,” he added, a wave of relief washing over you once you heard him say that because that implied he wasn’t going to shut you out again.
“O- okay,” you nodded as you felt him move his hand down to yours, then pull you over to a more secluded area away from the staff, players, and anyone that would overhear anything that was meant to be private. He saw the look in your eyes and that set off a siren in his head, something had happened and you were hiding it from him. 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Joe asked again softly as he turned to face you, his voice laced with concern. His hand found yours, his fingers gently rubbing circles on the back of your left hand in an absentminded but soothing gesture that he knew would calm you down. “You look shaken up,” he continued, his brow furrowing as his eyes scanned your face for any clue you might give him. “Did something happen that you’re not telling me about?” His voice was gentle, but the worry in his tone was obvious. His thumb traced slow, rhythmic patterns across your knuckles, a silent reassurance that he was here and that he wouldn’t let go until you told him what was weighing on you.
You took a deep breath before looking into his eyes again, seeing that it was just Joe. You could talk to him; you could talk to him about anything because he made it very clear to you that he was always going to be there for you no matter what. He was your safety net, you could fall back and he would catch you every time. 
“Something…something happened up at the suite,” you began to say, Joe’s eyes instantly softening because he knew what you were about to say. His biggest concern, his biggest fear when it came to you and football had come to life. 
You took a deep breath, bracing yourself before beginning to remember everything. The words came out slowly at first, but once you started, it felt like a dam had burst. You told Joe everything–their horrible comments, their slurred insults, the throwing of the drink (which really pissed Joe off), and the crude remarks they’d made about you both. Every vile comment they tossed around about you, about your relationship, seemed to sting more as you repeated them. 
Joe stood silently, his face a mixture of pain and anger, but his hand never left yours. As you spoke, you could feel the tremble in your voice, the knot tightening in your chest as you tried to fight back your tears. It was clear that repeating everything was breaking something inside you. You paused for a moment, your voice cracking as you glanced up at him and tried to read his reaction.
It broke Joe’s heart to see you like this, struggling to hold yourself together. His chest tightened as he watched you fight back tears, trying to stay strong while reliving something that clearly hurt you so deeply. Each word you spoke felt like another blow, not just to him, but to you, and it killed him that he hadn’t been there to protect you from it.
“Y/N…I’m so sorry,” he softly said as he pulled you into his arms, your tears threatening to come out from this and the way he rubbed gentle circles around your back. “I’m so-,” he started to say before he got choked up. “I’m so fucking sorry,” he finished. 
“It’s okay, Joe,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper as you hid your face in his chest. 
“No, it’s not,” he said, his voice laced with anger now that he was realizing what happened. 
The fans. The fans of the sport he plays. They hurt the most important, valuable, and special thing in this world. They hurt you.
Joe could feel the anger boiling under his skin as he fought back the urge to go find these assholes and teach them a few things about what happened when they messed with the love of his life. He was also considering going out and finding the head of security or someone who handled these things and ripping one to them, but once he felt how you were shaking in his arms, he let those thoughts go. He knew you needed him more than you needed to see those assholes’ heads on a platter which is why he kept his anger inside and instead focused on comforting you. 
“I’m gonna see if I can get out of this conference so we can just go home,” Joe said after he pressed a comforting kiss to your head. 
“N- No,” you said as you moved your head from his chest. “I don’t want you to skip out on it because of me,”. 
“But baby-,”.
“Joe, no. Please,” you pleaded as you cupped his cheeks and ran your thumbs along his soft skin. “I’m going to be fine, I promise. You still have a job to do and I don’t want to take you away from that,” you said as you gave him a small smile.
His heart broke as he saw your bloodshot eyes, knowing he was the reason you were in this situation. He felt so guilty, realizing that if it weren’t for his presence in your life those men wouldn’t have said such awful things to you. 
What hurt him even more was knowing he couldn’t be there for you the way you truly needed. He could listen, but it wasn’t enough. He felt helpless, wanting to fix everything but knowing all he could do right now was hold your hand while you tried not to fall apart.
“Are you sure? I don’t fucking care about standing in front of a bunch of reporters who are going to ask me the same exact question 10 different times. I care about you and making sure you’re okay,” he said as he placed his hands on yours and gave them a gentle squeeze before kissing your palm.
You took a deep breath and then looked back into his eyes, seeing deep anger & sadness in them. Although you wanted him to skip and comfort you, you didn’t want to take him away from what he had to do. You never wanted to take him away from football. “Positive. Go do what you have to do, I’m going to be fine. Besides, I should get going for my flight,” you said, trying to give him a reassuring smile.
He took a deep breath as he felt himself being pulled in two different directions. He wanted to stay with you so badly but one, he knew you wouldn’t let him, and two, he wasn’t even sure if he was allowed to skip the conference. He gave himself a mental slap out of guilt for leaving you before giving you a small nod, “Okay,” he said. “I’ll see you in a few hours,” he added as he pulled you back into his embrace. “I love you,” he said as he dropped a kiss on your forehead. 
You pressed a gentle kiss against his neck before tucking your head back into his chest, “I love you too,” you mumbled. The heat of his skin radiated against your cheek, and it only made you feel worse. You knew that the warmth wasn't just physical; it mirrored the anger and frustration building inside him, the emotions he was trying to hold back for you.
“Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” he whispered in your ear before holding you tighter. “Not as long as I’m here,”. 
You took another deep breath as you felt yourself melt away in his arms, wishing for him to never let go because this hug was the only time you felt at ease all day, but you always had the worst luck. 
“I gotta go,” he said softly, pulling away from the hug. The look on your face stopped him for a few seconds–it was a mix of hurt and longing that pulled at his heart. Every instinct in him screamed to pull you back into his arms and never let go, but he forced himself to step away, even though it felt like the hardest thing he’d ever done.
“Okay,” you nodded, looking down at your feet as you took another deep breath and tried to hold back your tears for maybe the 50th time in the past hour.
He used his hand to lift your chin up before cupping your cheek again and pulling you in for another kiss, this one filled with passion & reassurance. As he pulled away, he whispered “Everything’s going to be alright,” against your pink lips. “I promise,”.  
Just before stepping into the conference room, he looked back at you. His heart dropped as he saw you close your eyes and take a deep breath, your hands subtly moving to wipe away the tears you thought you had hidden from him. 
“I hate this fucking city. She doesn’t deserve any of this,” Joe thought to himself as he turned around and walked into the room, the tension in his body palpable as he struggled to keep his cool. 
No one could disrespect you like that and get away with it. Joe wasn’t going to let it happen, even though he knew you didn’t want him to say anything because you wanted to avoid a scene. His protective instinct was stronger than his desire to keep the peace, it was always that way with you.
A half-hour later 
The next half-hour passed by quickly and before you knew it, you were back on the plane and heading home. Joe had chartered you and Emma a private plane for your trip home and at first, you were slightly annoyed by his grandness–telling him that you didn’t need all this and that you were just a girl and could go on a normal flight like everyone else–but now had gained a new-found appreciation because you really didn’t want to be around other people right now. This private flight gave you the quietness you so badly needed, or so you thought. 
You changed into something more comfortable, slipping into one of his sweatshirts that still carried his comforting scent, a comfort that helped calm you for the moment. Emma was curled up in the back, taking a power nap while you scrolled through your phone, watching clips from the game. The familiar sounds and sights provided a distraction, even if just for a little while.
You found yourself laughing at a clip of Joe making a funny face on the sidelines, “His football faces are hysterical,” you mumbled to yourself before you saw a notification pop up on your screen.
It was a text from your sister with a link to a tweet. 
your sister: link 🔗 
your sister: what’s going on??
You raised your eyebrow out of confusion before tapping on the link, your eyes widening as you saw the caption of the video that was tweeted. 
“Click here to see a rare statement made by Joe Burrow regarding his personal life and his girlfriend, Y/N,”. 
“Oh, fuck,” you whispered, feeling your stomach churn. A wave of nausea washed over you, tightening your insides and catching you off guard. 
When you clicked on the video, you felt the wave of sadness come back as you saw Joe standing at the podium. He looked tired and worn out, with his face showing how exhausted and defeated he felt. As you watched him, you felt a sense of worry and concern, realizing the seriousness of the situation. 
"How frustrating is this loss, Joe?" a reporter asked him.
You watched him take a deep breath before answering the question, hesitance clear in his body language. “As frustrating as I’ve had,” his words were weighed down by the burden he carried in his heart. “This one stings a bit, we just couldn’t get it done. Felt good about the game plan, I was seeing it well…uhh..you know, just didn’t do enough to get it done,”. 
You had a single tear running down your cheek, showing that the strong emotions you were trying to hold back were breaking through the wall you built. His words painted a picture of pain, a picture of pain you had never seen. He wasn’t acting like his usual self and you had never seen him so low after a loss, and that’s including the Super Bowl. Was this because of you? Or was this because of the game?
Whatever it was, you could tell he was hurting. He was hurting badly.
“Where do you go from here? 0-2 isn’t unfamiliar territory for you, but where does Joe Burrow go from here? How are you feeling? What is the level of urgency?” another reporter asked him, Joe’s eyes dropping down to the side as he avoided looking into the reporter’s eyes.
“I need to give him a hug,” you thought to yourself as you let out a soft sob. You just wanted to take all of his pain away, he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve to feel like he let anyone down like this loss was all on him. He didn’t deserve to hurt like this. 
“Uhh,” he nervously mumbled. “I still feel good, you know…There’s a lot of work to be done, a lot of things to fix,” he sighed as he looked down for a few seconds. “The urgency is very high. We just need to go out and get a win. We have to do better, I…I have to do better,” he added, his shaky voice breaking your heart. His voice cracked on the last part, a sound you hadn’t heard from him before. It was subtle, but enough to break your heart. The vulnerability was right there just beneath the surface like he was walking on the fine line between keeping it together and falling apart. His eyes shimmered in the bright lights of the room–though no tears fell–and for a second, you thought he might break, but he held it in. 
What you saw was the kind of pain that came from someone who felt like they were carrying the world on their shoulders and didn’t know how much longer they could keep standing.
The clip then cut to the end of his press conference. Usually, he’d glance around the room before saying, “Thanks guys” and walking off the podium, but this time he didn’t exactly do that. He did his normal look around the room, but instead of walking off, he spoke up again. 
“Before I go, I just wanted to say something and I know this is very uncharacteristic of me but this is the only way I could think of getting this across,” he said as he looked around the room for nods of approval, which he got. 
He couldn’t keep it in, he had to say something. 
“I know I usually don’t talk about my private life or my girlfriend, Y/N,” he said as his eyes drooped to the floor but quickly moved back up. “And I do that to protect her and a part of my life that I keep very close to my heart, but silence can only protect things for so long. She’s been to every single one of my games for the past 5 years and not once has she ever felt scared, harassed, and disrespected–but she did tonight and I couldn’t do anything to help her.
So that’s why I need to say this,” he continued, his voice becoming stronger and more determined. “If you have something to say about me, my career, my life–literally anything,” he paused, gripping the podium even tighter as if it were the only thing keeping his emotions in check. “Say it to my face.”
There was fierceness in his tone now, a protective edge that cut through the room. “Y/N didn’t sign up for this life. I did,” he said, his voice stable and full of confidence. His eyes scanned the crowd, daring anyone to say anything to him. 
“The awful things that were said to her this evening are things I would have never thought would be said to her, but here we are,” he sighed. “And I know you all are probably confused as to what I’m talking about, but there are people out there who know exactly what I’m talking about and that’s what matters. In all the years that she’s been with me, not once has she ever been in this position before, and the fact that this happened here? Tonight?” he added while shaking his head, his piercing eyes now filled with fire. 
“She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this just because she supports me. So from now on, if anyone has something to say, leave her out of it. The fans tonight…they should be ashamed of themselves for harassing a girl that they don’t even know. That’s not going to earn you any brownie points with anyone. It’s just downright disgusting, pathetic, and embarrassing. This woman has been by my side through thick and thin, through every single up and down since my first year at LSU. She knows me better than anyone does, and she’s the single most important thing to me—even more important than football. She’s my support system, my best friend, home in human form, my person,” his eyes darken, anger and protectiveness mixing together. 
“Nobody has the right to make her feel unwelcomed because she’s my girlfriend. Nobody has the right to pass any lewd comments about her. Nobody has the right to say anything about our private relationship. If I ever hear anyone say a single thing about her, I’m not going to just brush it off,” he said, his words as sharp as the look in his eyes. “I protect the things I love which means I will protect her no matter what. Call me out, insult me, trash my name all you want. But I draw the line at Y/N. If you have anything to say, say it to my fucking face. Leave her alone,” he said before pausing for a few seconds. He held the silence that followed for a few more seconds, the severity of what he was saying took everyone by surprise because they had never seen Joe like this. The looks on all their faces told him that they heard him loud and clear even though none of this was directed at them. Then, with a last look at the room, he pushes away from the podium, his broad shoulders tense and stiff from anger, and walks off without another word.
“Oh my god,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears that were rapidly sliding down your cheeks. “Oh my god,”.
You couldn’t believe he actually said something, and he said it so publicly. 
Joe was never one to speak so candidly about his personal life, especially when it came to you. He was always careful, intentionally private, keeping the most intimate parts of his world hidden away from the scrutiny of the outside. It wasn’t that he didn’t want people to know how much he cared about you–if anything, it was the opposite. He knew all too well the potential effects of letting everything out in the open; the extreme opinions, the relentless criticism, the intrusion into your lives that could come crashing down if he let his guard down for even a moment.
He always tried to shield you from that. His love wasn’t about grand displays or public statements; it was in the quiet moments, the gentle looks, and the way he held your hand just a little tighter when the world around him was too loud. He kept you out of the spotlight as much as he could, not because he was ashamed, but because he wanted to protect you from the ugly side of his world–the part that didn’t care about your feelings or boundaries. 
But even Joe knew that silence could only go so far. Eventually, its weight would press down, creating a wall between you and the life he lived every day. And tonight, when you felt disrespected and harassed just for being there for him, it broke the carefully kept distance he’d worked so hard to build.
So now that he had actually said something, you couldn’t help but feel a little worried. You were a lowkey kind of girlfriend; the majority of fans knew you were dating Joe but you were never the kind of girlfriend to flaunt that you had the most desired NFL player wrapped around your finger. What he just did…what he just said put the spotlight on you and you were terrified that this would do more harm than good. Especially for him. 
But you knew that this was Joe. 
Your Joe.
You knew how much he tried to keep this part of his life away from the public eye and the fact that he went out and said something was enough to tell you that he wouldn’t let anything hurt you. He wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt you, he meant what he said. 
Nothing was going to hurt you as long as he was with you. 
An hour or so later 
“I’ll see you soon, okay?” Emma said to you as she pulled you in for a hug, swaying you back and forth on the doorstep of your home. 
“Are you sure you can’t stay until tomorrow?” you asked as you pulled away from the hug.
“I wish I could but you know I have that meeting in the morning,” she pouted as she picked up her bag. 
“Right,” you nodded. “Get some sleep on the flight, okay? It’ll be pretty late by the time you get back home and you need to be fresh tomorrow for your big meeting,” you added.
“You need to get some sleep too, Y/N,” she said while patting your back. “I know Joe is only an hour or so behind you, but you should get some sleep. Today was rough,”. 
You wished you could get some sleep, but your mind was moving at the speed of light right now so sleep was completely out of the question. You were wide awake. “I’ll try,” you lied with a faint smile. You knew Joe would be wide awake too, his brain was probably moving faster than the speed of light and you could just picture him staring out of the plane window, jaw clenched and eyes focused as he thought about everything over and over. He’d go through the motions of what went wrong, then run through it again and try to find ways he could’ve fixed it–even though the game was longgggg over.
But that was just Joe. This was a part of his process and there wasn’t much you could do other than be there for him whenever he got out of his head and needed someone to talk to.
“Don’t worry too much,” she added with a sincere smile. “Everything will be fine as long as you have Joe with you,” she said, her words matching exactly what Joe said to you earlier and what he showed during his press conference. 
“Yeah,” you breathed out, “I know,”.
She was right though, it would be fine as long as he was by your side. You needed to keep reminding yourself that he wouldn’t let anything or anyone hurt you. 
After finishing up your conversation with Emma, you walked her to her waiting Uber and exchanged one last goodbye before watching the car pull away. As you came back into the house, you sank down onto a barstool at the kitchen island, your mind swirling with a mix of emotions and thoughts that needed sorting.
You thought that Joe would most likely be in a mood once he got home since he had all the time on the plane to drive himself insane by reliving the game over and over. You hoped his mood would be slightly better than how it was last week after the game, not knowing if you had it in you to deal with everything if he came home with the same mindset and attitude as last week.
Add the fan situation to the mix and then you had the perfect recipe for a ‘stand-off angry Joe’ who would blame himself for absolutely everything and push you away while he self-destructed. You knew he would blame himself for the drunk idiots and their disgusting words towards you even though it was far from his fault, and you knew that it wouldn’t be easy to get him to move past it. You just couldn’t have him shut you out again, you needed him to talk to you more than anything this time. 
You shook your head, “Stop, Y/N. He said he’d talk to me once he got home and he meant that. He knows that he can’t put himself in that situation again and shut himself down. I don’t need to worry,” reminding yourself of what he said to you earlier and the week before. “If he happens to be in a mood then I just need to do something to stop him from being in a mood. He’ll open up to me on his own terms, I can’t push him too hard,” you nodded as you looked up. 
You wanted to talk to him about everything more than anything, wanted to pick at his brain and allow him to open up to you, but you knew better than to push him too hard. He hated being cornered, but you also couldn’t let him hide under his shell. Easing him into it and allowing him to naturally come to you is what you needed him to do. If he came back in a mood, you knew you’d need something to act as a buffer, something to soak up the weight of his emotions before they pulled him back to the edge like last time. You needed to do something to ease his tension while distracting him for a little bit before he started to unpack the weight of his emotions onto you. 
Your eyes moved to the TV, putting on one of his favorite movies would work, right?
“No, he’d just zone out and think about the game,” you whispered to yourself as you slipped off the barstool. 
Your eyes then moved to the couch, cuddling would work, right?
“Mm, Mm,” you shook your head. “Quiet time and cuddling would let the voices in his head get louder,”. 
Your eyes moved toward the kitchen, and suddenly an idea sparked as your eyes landed on the small orange pumpkin decoration you’d placed by the knives–an early start on your fall decorating. A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the solution hit you. "Pumpkin pie," you whispered to yourself, a grin rising on your face. "Obviously."
Pumpkin Pie was more than just a dessert for Joe; it was more of a feeling of comfort or a reminder that even when everything felt like it was crumbling, there would still be little joys to be found in the little things. You could never get sick of the childlike smile on his adorable face when he gets the first whiff of cinnamon and nutmeg. You wanted to see him that happy all the time, and you were determined to make that happen. 
“Hopefully that’ll work if he comes back acting like The Hulk,” you giggled as you walked into the pantry and started gathering all the ingredients you’d need to make his favorite dessert. This was a great distraction (for the time being) for him because it would let him drift away from football for a little bit. This was a great distraction for him and an even better distraction for you, even if you didn’t want to admit it. Deep down, you were still shaken up over everything that happened at the game, and sitting in this big, empty house with nothing but your thoughts for company? You knew exactly where that would lead. You had just as much of a tendency to spiral as Joe did, maybe even more than him sometimes. 
You might not have realized that by focusing so much on his emotions, you were ignoring your own. You were used to being the calm and steady support for him, but it took a toll on you. Comforting him and worrying about his stress made you bury your own feelings, convincing yourself that they didn't matter as much as his.
By concentrating on him, you could avoid dealing with your own feelings, which is exactly what you’re doing right now. But eventually, everything you were holding back would catch up with you. For now, it was easier to pretend that baking this pie is enough, that it's the solution to both your problems.
The hour passed by pretty quickly as you worked on the Pie for Joe. You found yourself forgetting about the game as you bounced around the kitchen while you made the sweet dessert for him. Baking was often a big stress reliever for you and you always found yourself letting loose while accidentally covering yourself in loads of flour and sugar. You loved to bake and Joe loved to eat what you baked, it was the perfect dynamic. 
You had placed the Pie in the oven not too long ago and were now cleaning up, the TV in the background however had quickly snapped you out of your playful daze. 
The channel on the TV was showing an analysis of the game and your ears couldn’t help but perk up every time they mentioned Joe. They were showing constant replays of all the moments Joe was frustrated during the game, on the field, and on the sidelines. They were talking about how the Bengals should have won this game and how Joe outperformed Patrick. They were saying that this loss would for sure put a dent into the team’s confidence going forward, even going as far as talking about how their playoff odds were rapidly decreasing as well.
“A bunch of fucking idiots,” you mumbled under your breath as you stared up at the TV, your eyes welling with tears yet again without you even realizing it. How could they count them out so early? How could they count out Joe so early?
Then the TV showed a clip from his post-game press conference which really did it for you because you had to hear him mention the events from earlier that you were trying so hard to ignore. 
“It was just not a good day overall for Joe. He didn’t play as well as he usually does, even made some terrible mistakes that were very unlike him to do…and his post-game conference showed a side of him none of us have ever seen. He seems distracted, unlike how he usually is out on the field. Was last year the last time we saw that ‘Elite QB’ that he claims he is? Is there a bigger issue than the team’s unpreparedness that is affecting his game? Is his personal life burdening him and serving as a distraction?” the analyst said. 
You knew how intense his life was, and how demanding football could be. You had always tried to make things easier for him. But what if in trying to be supportive, you were unknowingly adding to the pressure? 
Was his personal life burdening him? Were you burdening him?
“Why does this always have to happen to him?” you sobbed, the words coming out before you could stop them. It was like the emotional dam you had built had just burst and all the feelings you’d held back for hours–maybe even longer–were rushing out. Your floury hands gripped the counter as your tears fell down and mixed with the sprinkled flour all around the marble top. 
You couldn’t keep it in anymore. The pressure, the criticism Joe was under, it was all so suffocating. Every time he had a bad game or a few bad moments, it was like the world turned against him. People couldn’t wait for him to slip up just so they could tear him down. 
“He works s- so hard, they just don’t get it,” you cried as you wiped your eyes with the back of your hand. “He’s trying so hard, they don’t see how much pressure he puts on himself,”. 
But this wasn’t just about him, it was about you too. The pressure you put on yourself for always being the strong one, being strong for him, was suffocating. You were tired of acting like it didn’t hurt; the comments and the criticism not only about him but about you too. 
“Is it my fault? Am I pushing him too much? When I tell him how great he is and remind him of all the amazing shit he’s done, is that making him feel too pressured to be that guy again?” you sniffled. 
You were starting to blame yourself for everything, which is the last thing you should have been doing. This was far from your fault, but your brain was so clouded by negativity and the lingering words of those drunk men for you to be able to think clearly. All you could see was everything you said to him that could have made him lose his focus and cause all this. You couldn’t see that this was all because of everything else around him—the media, the outside noise. 
“And I shouldn’t have told him about what ha- happened at the suite,” you said as your sobs got louder. “He’s not focused because of me. It’s my fault,” you cried, your breaths getting shorter and shorter as your heart started racing. 
Before you think about anything else, you hear the buzzing sound of the garage opening fill your ears. 
Joe was home. 
“Fuck,” you quickly wiped your tears and switched the TV to a different channel before he came in. He didn’t need to see you like this, especially since you thought that him seeing you like this was the root cause of all of this. You were supposed to be strong, so you needed to act like it. His support system crumbling wasn’t what he needed right now because who would be there for him when he needed someone? 
You heard the door open behind you and quickly fixed your face before you turned around to see him, and what you saw broke your heart again. You immediately noticed the bags under his eyes, the defeated look on his face, and his miserable body language. 
You patted your floury hands on your sweatpants before walking over to him, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him in for a tight hug. You felt him relax against you before you placed a hand around the nape of his neck and pushed his head into the crook of your neck. “Hey,” he whispered against you as you started threading your fingers through his hair. 
“Hi,” you whispered as you placed a kiss on his warm cheek, feeling him let out a breath that sounded like he’d been holding it in for a while. 
“I missed you,” he said while slightly shifting his head to look at you, an adorable boyish pout on his face. 
“I know,” you smiled at him while leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. “I missed you too,”. 
He leaned down to your neck, “Was your flight okay?” he asked you as he peppered it with slow, soft kisses, his gentle touches slowly relieving the tension you had inside of you. 
“Yeah,” you lied, not mentioning how most of it was spent thinking about everything he said in his post-game press conference. “Was your flight okay?” you asked him.
“It was alright,” he sighed. “I didn’t get much sleep so I just killed time by staring out the window or reading that book you got me,” he said. 
“Wait, are you tired?” you asked as you let go of him; thinking that he’d be wide awake was a mistake. Why would he be wide awake? He had a rough game and even rougher post-game, he was probably so tired. 
“No, No,” he shook his head, his hands settling on either side of your hips and preventing you from moving too far away from him. “I’m wide awake but I tried to sleep on the plane just to pass the time. Obviously, that didn’t work though,” he softly laughed, his nose wiggling a few seconds later. “What smells good?” he asked, that childlike smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he caught a whiff of the cinnamon and nutmeg. 
You let out a small giggle before leaning up to press another kiss to his lips, “Pumpkin Pie,” you said a few seconds later, now feeling his hands wrap around your torso. 
“For me?” he asked while raising an eyebrow, a playful smirk rising on his lips. His hand slipped under your shirt, the warmth of his hand radiating through your skin and sending waves of comfort throughout your body. It was as if his touch had the power to quiet every worry in your mind and body, grounding you in a way he didn’t even realize. 
You let out a dramatic sigh, “Nah, it’s for my other 6’3 quarterback boyfriend. He should be coming around in a few minutes,” you teased. 
“Ha. Ha,” he laughed monotonously before continuing, “The only 6’3 quarterback boyfriend you need is already here. Thanks, baby,” he smiled a few seconds later as he pulled you even closer and pulled you up for a kiss. This one was a bit spicier than the others as his lips were instantly tugging on your bottom lip while he casually slipped his tongue into your mouth, earning a soft but sultry moan from you. His laugh vibrated through his chest and into the kiss, a shift in his energy fully visible. It was playful but with an edge. 
“Mmm,” you hummed as you placed your hands on his chest and gently pushed him back. “As much as I would love to keep that going, you’ve got a sweet treat to eat,” you winked.
“Oh,” he said while raising his eyebrows. “Okay, let’s go upstairs then,” he smirked while grabbing your hand and jokingly pulling you towards the stairs. 
“Joeee,” you said while pulling him back. “Not that kind of sweet treat,” you added which you received a pouty look from him in return. “...Okaaaaay, maybe later?”. 
Normally he’d respond with another flirty comment but when he stared into your eyes a little more carefully and noticed how red and puffy they were, all playfulness left his body as all he could think about was the fact that you had likely been crying, likely because of him and he knew that. 
“Y/N…” he began to say before you interrupted him. 
“Come sit down, I’ll pull the Pie out and cut you a slice,” you smiled while grabbing his hand and leading him back over to the kitchen island, not giving him a second to say anything. Even when you were clearly upset, you still were only thinking about him. 
“I don’t deserve her,” he thought to himself as he watched you plaster a smile on your face and focus on him and only him. “I don’t deserve her at all. I feel so guilty for everything that happened to her, especially because it’s all my fault, and she’s still only thinking about me? ”. 
You oftentimes did this, focusing on Joe and only him while ignoring everything else around you. He was the center of your universe and everything else around you faded into the background. This habit of yours formed early on in your relationship back at LSU. Then, it was all about supporting him through his tiring practices, stressful exams, and important games. You devoted yourself to making sure he felt loved, understood, and cared for while he tried to make his mark on the field. 
And now, even after all these years, your habit still hasn’t changed.
Joe saw it every time, the way you focused on him, how you gave him every ounce of your attention all the time. He didn’t say much about it, but you knew he noticed. The look in his eyes would always soften, as if he both loved and hated the fact that you put him first. 
It had been like that through the whirlwind of college football, and now in the glimmer of the NFL spotlight. You were always by his side, pouring all of your energy into him and sometimes leaving none for yourself. He knew you like the back of his hand so he could tell when you were giving more than you could handle. He appreciated you so much, you were his anchor but he worried about you–worried that you carried too much of his weight without letting yourself be vulnerable too. 
Even tonight, when you should’ve been taking care of yourself, you were focused on him–it was always him. It had been this way for so long, and while he knew you’d never stop looking out for him, he hoped that you’d let him do the same for you on the same level you did for him. As much as he needed you, he also knew that you needed him just as much, even if you didn’t always admit it. 
“What did I do to deserve you?” he said again, this time out loud as he slipped onto a barstool and rested his chin on his hand. 
“Great question. You must have done some severe manifestation to bag me,” you teased as you spun around to take out a plate from the cabinet. 
Joe let out a soft chuckle, “Severe manifestation, stalking your Insta for about 2 weeks to see if you had a guy already before asking you out, memorizing your class schedule and your favorite lunch spots so I could ‘accidentally’ run into you…it’s all the same,” but stopped once he saw you take only one plate out from the cabinet. “You’re not eating?” he asked with furrowed eyebrows. 
“Not hungry,” you said while flashing him the fakest smile possible as you placed the plate down in front of him before turning around to pull the Pie out of the oven. Who were you kidding? You were so hungry to the point where you could legit eat one of those fake display fruits people put out. The only thing you’d had to eat today was a bottle of orange juice and a few bites of a banana muffin this morning—other than the Vodka Cran you had during the game. You just didn’t think you could stomach anything during or after the game because your stomach was in literal knots. 
You hoped that he didn’t realize you were lying to him but one thing about Joe was that he could always tell when you were lying to him. He paid extra attention to the little things about you–the sudden lightness in your voice, avoiding eye contact with him, and the oh-so-obvious fake smile. He hated when he noticed these signs because that meant you weren’t being truthful with him for whatever reason. 
Without saying a word, he got up from his chair and walked around the island to the kitchen cabinets. You saw him moving out of the corner of your eye just as you were closing the oven and carefully placing the warm pumpkin pie on the counter.
“What?” he asked you, noticing that you were staring at him as he pulled out another plate and set it on the island next to his. 
“Why’d you take out another one?” you asked him before you moved the Pie plate over to the island and set it near the dinner plates. Joe let out a soft laugh, the adorable crinkles in the corner of his eyes popping out as placed a gentle hand on both sides of your shoulders from behind and walked you back over to the island barstools.
“For you, silly,” he chuckled in your ear, then pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before walking back to the kitchen.
“But I’m not hungry,” you said as your eyes followed him around the kitchen, watching him take out a knife and a can of whipped cream from the fridge. 
“Look at who you’re talking to,” he smiled as he began cutting a slice of Pie. I know you like the back of my hand, Y/N. I know you haven’t eaten anything all day because I know you never eat before or during a game because you want to wait so you can eat with me. Also, you feel like if you eat something you’re going to throw it up during halftime because of your nerves,”. 
Your eyes softened as you watched him set a slice on your plate, and then use the whipped cream to add a small heart on top. 
He knew you and your habits all too well. You shouldn’t be surprised though, this was Joe. He noted and noticed everything about you and had been doing it since the day you first met. It first started off as him noting how you liked your morning coffees before classes (so he could show up at your dorm with it and have an excuse to walk you to class) and noticing how you’d start fidgeting with the birthstone ring on your right hand whenever you felt anxious in crowded public settings (parties, at his practices, his games). Whenever he saw you doing that, he made sure to stop whatever he was doing and tend to your needs–doing whatever you needed him to do without questioning it.
Now, it had led to him noting how you liked your morning protein smoothies (so he could make them for you, obviously) before you went in for your morning workout in the gym he had designed for the both of you in your shared home. And then it was noticing all your little habits, such as fidgeting with the birthstone necklace he gave you—which had his birthstone on it—whenever you felt anxious now. 
Reminding yourself of how beautifully things had changed and flourished in your relationship, how Joe so easily flipped your entire world upside down by just looking into your eyes one hot afternoon during a football practice you and your friends stumbled into, always brought a smile to your face. Even in moments when you were far from happy.
That was just the Joe effect.  
You watched as he set a slice on his plate, then added whipped cream to his before placing everything down and joining you on the other side of the island. He sat down on his stool and turned to look at you and saw that you were too far from him, which he wasn’t having for even a second. 
“Mm Mm, too far,” he shook his head as he grabbed the beam of your stool and pulled you over, a small shriek leaving your lips at how he easily pulled you over as if he was pulling a feather over. 
Your knees were pretty much bumping into each other, that’s just how close he pulled you over. It was such a small gesture, but the significance was far more deeper. He wanted you close in every single way possible. 
“My big strong man,” you giggled as you placed a hand on his knee, giving it a soft squeeze and then starting to rub it through his sweatpants’ fabric. He leaned over and started peppering featherlight kisses around your jawline and down to your neck, his lips so soft and plush-like. “But I really don’t think I can stomach the Pie regardless of how good it probably is,” you laughed. 
Joe leaned back to stare into your eyes, the redness in them mocking him and his efforts to make you feel better. It was a reminder of how well you hid your feelings from him, something you both had in common. You both would hide your feelings from each other in order to protect each other. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you up in his arms and take away the hurt that hid behind those beautiful, tear-stained eyes, but this was all he could do for you right now without pushing you too much. 
“Please? For me?” he pouted, sticking his bottom lip out and placing his hand over yours which was rubbing his knee. He cupped your hand and flipped it so he could intertwine your fingers, then picked it up and pressed gentle kisses on the back of your hand while staring into your eyes. Both actions cause a feeling of comforting warmth to fill your stomach. 
You really didn’t feel like eating anything, but you did all this to take his mind off the game and lighten his mood, and not doing what he asked wasn’t going to help at all. The pouty look on his face was your biggest weakness so that wasn’t helping either, you could never say no to that adorable face. “Okayyy,” you giggled, giving in to his ask and then seeing his entire body light up when you grabbed the fork. 
“That’s my girl,” he smiled as his baby blue eyes lit up with a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. He then leaned in and pressed another soft kiss to your cheek, the gentle touch lingering long enough for your belly to flutter. 
He then picked up his fork and dug into the pie, taking a big, generous first bite. His face went from playful to pure bliss at the first taste of the cinnamon and pumpkin. “Oh, babyyyy,” he groaned, closing his eyes for a second as he savored the taste. “This is so fucking good,”. 
“That sounds all too familiar,” you smirked while raising an eyebrow at the sounds and words that left his mouth. 
“Dirty dirty mind,” he shook his head and laughed while chewing on the pie in his mouth. 
You smiled as you watched him take more bites of the pie, feeling a bit better because of his reaction. The tension in your body, for a second, seemed to fizzle out as you watched him enjoy what you did for him. The warmth of the kitchen, smell of the fresh pie, and the soft sounds of the TV in the background made everything feel normal again–like a safe space where you both could just be yourselves. 
He took another bite, his eyes darting over to you as you continued to stare at him with hearteyes, “I’m serious, you’ve outdone yourself,” he said, his voice muffled with a mouthful of pie. “Don’t know what I’d do without you..or this pie,” he winked. 
“I love you,” you blushed as you leaned over and pressed a wet kiss to his cheek.
“I love you more, but,” he said as he swallowed the bite in his mouth, “You’re still not eating,”. 
You looked down and saw the fork in your hand and the untouched pie next to you, realizing you were so caught up in watching him that you hadn’t had any of the pie yourself. 
“Oops,” you said while pursing your lips and staring down at the dessert. 
Joe used his fork and stuck it into your pie, slicing a generous piece out before using his other hand to lift your chin. “Open up,” he said, raising his eyebrows and holding the fork in front of your mouth.
You laughed softly, “Seriously?”. The look in his charming eyes told you that he was 100% serious. 
“Come on, you’ve gotta eat something,” he insisted, his tone a mix of teasing and genuine sincerity. He moved the fork closer, allowing the sweet smell of pumpkin to enter your nose while he rested his other hand on your knee this time, squeezing and rubbing just like you were doing to his knee. 
You rolled your eyes before leaning in and opening your mouth to take a bite, the moment the pie touched your tongue you felt the warmth and sweetness explode in your mouth. Man, were you good at baking. 
Joe attentively watched your reaction as you chewed on the slice of pie, a look of satisfaction on his face as he watched you swallow the bite. “See? Isn’t that good?” he asked. 
You nodded, not being able to hide the smile rising on your face. “Yeah, you were right,” you giggled, the spices lingering on your tongue. “That’s soooooooooo good. But I think it tasted even better because you were feeding me,” you winked.
“Well, there’s more cominggggg,” he grinned as he stuck his fork in your pie again and picked up another bite before bringing it up to your mouth. “Woooosh,” the noise coming from his mouth mimicking a rocket ship as he zig-zagged his hand around. 
You smiled and stared at him for a few seconds, your heart swelling at the look in his eyes. It was a look of comfort, of relaxation. Last week, the look in his eyes was cold, it was tense. But this time, it was just filled with ease and love and it was all because of you. 
“Aaaaah,” you said as you opened your mouth for another bite of the delicious pie being fed to you by your favorite person on the planet. 
After letting him feed you the rest of your pie, he gathered your dirty dishes and brought them over to the sink before coming back to his barstool and sitting down next to you again. He leaned over and captured your lips in a sweet kiss, the taste of pumpkin on both your lips making it even sweeter than usual. 
“Mmm, that tasted good,” you hummed as you playfully bumped his knee with yours. You were expecting a flirtatious response from him, somehow roping in the concept of sex into the conversation because he seemed to be in that mood earlier, but instead, he just stayed quiet while staring down at the counter. 
“Uh, oh,” you thought to yourself, your hips squirming in your seat at the sudden change in the atmosphere. It felt as if the room got darker, maybe even colder–just like the inside of Joe’s brain. You brought your hand up and started rubbing his back, “You okay?” you asked, nervously biting your lip because of the look on his face. 
“Yeah, just thinking,” he sighed, placing his hand on your knee again. 
“Thinking about anything in particular?” you said while giving him a heartfelt smile. 
He took a deep breath before responding, “Talk to her, Joe. Don’t push her away again,” he thought to himself. “…D- do you think we can talk about it? About the game?” he quietly asked you, meeting your eyes a few seconds after saying that. 
Joe tried to forget about it, and he did for about half an hour because of you and the pie you made for him. But he knew better than to keep everything in like that, knowing what would happen if all that stayed inside of him and built up. He refused to go back there, especially after getting a flashback of what that felt like last week. 
The sudden change in his voice, his eyes, and his body language threw you for a loop. You thought this would distract him for a bit longer, but it didn’t.
But wait. Why did you want to distract him for longer? You wanted him to open up to you, confide in you. So why did you want him to not think about the game?
Was it because you were the one who didn’t want to talk about it? You didn’t want to unpack those feelings, not his, but your own?
“No. He needs me right now. I can’t let my feelings get in the way,” you thought to yourself, “Be strong for him, Y/N. Stop being selfish.”
“Y- yeah,” you nodded. “What’s going on in your head?” you asked as you slid your hand up to his hair, threading the strands through your fingers while lightly scratching his scalp. 
“I’m just so frustrated, Y/N,” he sighed. “We were supposed to win, we were going to win,”.
“I know,” you said, letting out a shaky breath as your body braced itself for whatever was about to come out of his mouth.
“And I played like total shit. That fumble just gifted them 6 extra points and if I didn’t lose the ball like a fucking idiot, we would have likely won the game,” he said as his eyes welled with tears. “And we’re right back where we were. 0-2 as fucking usual and it’s my fault,” he sniffled. 
“It’s not your fault, Joey,” you frowned. “The whole team could have done better, especially the defense. You did so good, much better than last week,”.
“Not good enough,” he said, his voice laced with self-criticism. “It wasn’t good enough…I wasn’t good enough. I try so hard, you know? I do everything I’m supposed to, even more, 90% of the time. But things..they..they never go my way,” he added, the crack in his voice breaking your heart for the millionth time today. 
“I know, Joe. Trust me, I know,” you said as you lowered your head to catch his eyes. “But you can’t be this hard on yourself, you know that right?”.
“The flags, the Ja’marr thing, the stupid fucking mistakes. It all just went to shit so fucking fast,” he said as he turned to meet your eyes, ignoring what you said. “And our playoff odds keep decreasing which makes this even worse. If we go 0-3, I don’t think-,”.
“Joe, stop,” you said while moving your hand to cup his cheek. “You’re doing it again,”.
“I just…I can’t help it? I just feel like I let everyone down again,” he started to say and quickly kept going once he saw you start to open your mouth to say something. “And I know. I know what you told me last week, I heard you loud and clear. I thought I could go out and get it done this week and I acted like it too. During practice, in the press conference, over the phone to you, in the locker room to the guys–but once again I fucked up, and look at what happened,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper as you saw his bottom lip start to quiver. “I k- know why we lost but I do- don’t at the same time?” he choked out, a single tear falling from his eye and sliding down his cheek. “I did everything I could and I still feel like I’m letting everyone down,” he repeated, his breaths getting shorter. “Especially you,” he whispered. 
You felt your eyes pool with tears, your emotions threatening to spill out as you stared at him. Seeing him like this, weak and questioning himself, was the one thing that could break you into a thousand pieces. He was so confident and strong in the face of adversity but in these quiet moments, those voices in his head were the loudest and he couldn’t help it. The doubts crept in and he started to undermine his success, and that shattered you. 
Watching him struggle with his confidence cut deeper than any of your own insecurities. You knew how much he gave to football, how much he sacrificed for this, how much he loved what he did. It crushed you to see him struggle like this and for a second think that he was letting anyone down. To you, Joe was more than enough–on and off the field–and seeing him question that was making you feel an unbearable amount of pain. 
“Joe,” you whispered, your voice shaky just like his. “You’re not letting anyone down. Especially me, I swear. You don’t see yourself the way I do,”. 
You saw his glossy eyes soften, searching yours for any sort of comfort and relief but as he gazed into your eyes, you knew he could see the emotions you were holding back. The mix of fear and love, concern and support. His vulnerability mirrored your own, and that made this hurt even more.
“I know you feel like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders and it feels like those shoulders are wobbly right now,” you nodded, feeling the tension–the burden of everything he carries both on and off the field radiate through his eyes. “But I promise you, Joe,” you whispered. “You’re strong enough to handle all of this. Even when it feels like too much, even when you doubt yourself. You’ve shown how strong and capable you are time and time again and everyone knows how talented you are. Don’t let one game define a legendary, history-making career, Joe. Don’t let yourself forget who you are. You have all of this because of your talent, your success, and your abilities. You’re the kid from small-town Athens, the third-stringer from Ohio State, the star quarterback of the LSU Tigers, and the franchise quarterback of the Cincinnati Bengals. But most importantly, you’re one of the best to ever step onto that field and hold onto that football. Don’t forget who that kid is, who that boy is, who that man is, and who that player is. I know it feels like you’ve been hitting wall after wall every season, feeling like you’re losing something each time you get onto the field but everything you lose is a step you take,” you said. “You make mistakes, you learn from them, and you revise and get better each time. That’s what you do, Joe,”. 
“Don’t feel pressured to do everything on your own. You don’t need to blame yourself for the loss, you don’t need to blame yourself for the slow start. You don’t have to do this alone,” you continued, your voice raw but completely reassuring. “Everyone’s here with you, Joe. I’m here with you. We’ll carry the weight together, okay?”.
“No.” he shook his head. “You don’t…you won’t do that,” he said, his voice rougher but still laced with a tone that made you want to never stop crying. “I don’t want you in any situation like that, not after what happened today,”. 
You felt your stomach churn at the mention of today’s events. You really didn’t want to go there, but you knew you had no choice. Majority of the reason Joe was upset was because of what you had to deal with during the game. Yeah, he was frustrated about the loss, but the way you were treated made it so much more worse because that was a direct hit to his heart. “Joe, I-,” you began to say before you heard a soft sob come from in front of you.
“I’m s- so sorry, Y/N,” he said as he looked back into your eyes, his tears now fully streaming down his face. “I’m so fucking sorry that you have to deal with all of my shit. And year by year it just keeps getting worse for you and I can’t do anything to stop it. When I first started off in the league, your only worries were if I was able to go out there and throw the ball and have a chance to show everyone what I was capable of. N- now, you have to constantly worry about my in- injuries and what people say about m- me,” he sobbed, his tears falling faster and his body starting to shake. 
You quickly reached out for him, placing your hand on the back of his neck and pulling him over so that he was laying his head on your chest. “Joe, baby,” you whispered, cradling his head as you tried to keep your tears at bay. 
“Y- you had to pick up so much slack every time I g- got hurt,” he cried into your chest as you threaded your fingers through his hair. “You did so much for me that nobody ever saw, nobody will ever see. And they treat you like that? Because they fucking hate m- me?”.
“Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, Joe,” you calmly said to him as you leaned down to press a kiss to his hair. “I’m fine, I swear,” you sniffled, holding back your tears as best as you could.
“N- no,” he continued, “You’re not. I knew you were crying b- before I got home. It was because of me, right? Because of what I said in the press conference?” he asked, looking up at you through his wet, glossy eyes.
Your eyebrows softened, and before you could even find the right words, your eyes said everything for you.
“I knew it,” he continued as he hid his face in your chest again, your shirt fully soaked from his tears. 
“J- Joe…,” you trembled, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Stay strong, Y/N. He needs his support system right now,” you thought to yourself. “Please stop crying, baby. Please? You don’t need to apologize for a single thing,” you continued with a more stable voice. “I know you’re trying to protect me,”. 
“Yes, I do," Joe choked out. "Because now you have to worry about getting insulted and harassed by random fans who have some vendetta against me, but think it’s okay to take it out on y- you." His voice broke, and you could see the guilt flooding his eyes. "You’re the only person who’s truly stuck by my side through everything. You do so much for me, and you don’t deserve to be treated like that but you are, because of me. You had the most awful things said to you and it was all my fucking fault. It was my fault you were crying. It was my fault you couldn’t enjoy the game. It was my fault that earlier after the game, you felt like you had to hide this from me,".
He took a shaky breath, the weight of his words hitting him harder as he continued. "You can’t even go to a fucking game without getting hurt because of me," his shoulders trembled slightly. "I- I’m always hurting you, aren’t I?" he wept, those last four words coming out in a broken whisper as if they physically pained him to say. His grip on you tightened as if you were the only thing holding him together and preventing him from crumbling into a pile of dust.
Hearing him say those words ripped you apart. He was hurting, and it shattered you to think that he saw himself as the cause of your pain. 
“Joe,” you said as you tightened your embrace around him, “You’re not hurting me,” you added as you gently cupped his face with one hand. “You’re not,”.
“You’ve never hurt me, Joe. Not once,” you said as you wiped away the tears that were freely falling down his face. “What those people say, what they do–it’s not your fault. None of that is in your control and it doesn’t, for a second, change how much I care for you. How much I care for this world you’ve built for us,” you blinked your tears away and added. 
Joe shook his head, refusing to accept your words, but you continued on regardless. “You mean everything to me and I’m not going anywhere, no matter what. You’ve never once hurt me in the 5 years we’ve been together. You’ve never given me a reason to think about running for the hills, never given me a reason to ever think about what my life would be like without you. You’ve showered me with so much love, so much happiness that I never thought was possible. You are perfect, Joe. In every aspect. It’s going to take a lot more than just some idiotic, insecure, flawed football bros to get to me and leave your side. Hell, the entirety of Kansas City isn’t even enough to pull me away from you,” you said as you leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Please stop blaming yourself for what other people do. It’s not your fault that the team lost this game and it’s not your fault that some men in this world just have small-dick energy all the time,” the last bit of what you said lighthearted on purpose. 
You notice a small, brief smile begin to form on his face after you finish talking. It was faint, but it was there. Seeing that smile, even just a glimpse of it, filled your chest with relief. Your words had reached him, if only a little. “I love you, Joe. I love you no matter what,” you said while resting your chin on his head and holding him close to your heart as you felt him start to loosen up. 
“I- I love you too,” he whispered against your chest, pushing himself deeper into your embrace and wishing he could just melt into your body and forget about all his worries. 
In that moment, you could feel how much he needed this–how much he needed you. 
Your words and your touch were his anchor, his support. You grounded him when the weight of everything threatened to pull him under and in these quiet moments, that anchor allowed himself to be vulnerable and to lean on you completely. And you were more than willing to hold him up, even if it meant setting your feelings aside. 
You moved your hand to his back, gently rubbing circles around his frame in soothing patterns to ease his discomfort. “I’ve got you,” you whispered softly, feeling his breathing even out second by second. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you, baby,” you whispered before holding him a little tighter. 
An hour later 
You got him to calm down a little, but deep down, you knew this wasn’t something that could be fixed in one conversation. It wasn’t just about losing the game tonight, it was about you. And when it came to you, Joe never played around. This wasn’t going to be an easy thing for him to move past and the look that lingered in his eyes told you that. Honestly, you hadn’t even moved past it yourself. But you didn’t want to unload your feelings onto him, not right now. He needed you to be his rock, his safe place, and you couldn’t let yourself add to the storm swirling in his head.
You brought him upstairs a little after he stopped crying and calmed down. You told him that he needed to shower, not because he stank, but just so he could wash the day off himself. 
While he sat on the bed, you went into the closet and pulled out his favorite pair of sweats, clean boxers, and a comfortable shirt for him and set them inside the bathroom before turning the shower on and setting it to the temperature you knew he loved. You then motioned for him to come inside with a sweet smile on your face. 
“Your shower awaits, my king,” you playfully bowed and said, earning a soft chuckle from him. “Thank god he can still laugh,” you thought to yourself. 
“Thank you,” he rasped with a smile, his voice still scratchy from crying earlier, as he slid off the bed and walked to the bathroom where you were, “My queen,” he added with a soft kiss to your lips. 
After watching him get undressed and slip into the shower, you quietly went back out to grab another shirt to replace the tear-stained one that was clinging to your body. When you stepped back inside, the sound of the water running and the silhouette of Joe moving against the foggy glass filled the space. You walked over to the vanity, setting the shirt down on the counter. For a second, you stood still, gripping the edges of the counter. Your eyes met your own reflection in the mirror and you saw the undeniable tiredness behind them as well as the redness from the tears you shed earlier. Your eyes softened for a second, the urge to start crying coming back but before a tear could fall from your eye, you wiped your eyes, “Hold it together, Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “He needs you right now,”. 
“Y/N?” a voice from behind you asked. 
You quickly turned around and saw Joe peeking his head out from the shower, his hair soaking wet and water droplets sliding down his body and onto the floor. “Can you come in, please?” he asked with a pout. 
You quietly stared at him for a few seconds before quickly breaking eye contact and flinging your clothes off so you could join him, which resulted in another adorable chuckle from his lips. You needed to wash the day off just as much as he did. 
Once you slipped into the shower with him, the heat of the water instantly embraced you. Before you could fully settle in, Joe pulled you into him, his hands gently gripping your waist as his lips found yours with a frantic intensity. The way his lips were moving against yours was deep, raw, and full of emotion. He needed to feel you, he needed to remind himself that you were still there and that you weren’t going to leave. 
His hand slid up your back, which was now wet as both of you were standing under the rainfall shower head, his gentle fingers tracing shapes around your back as he deepened the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, one hand moving into his wet hair as the other hand rubbed his shoulder. 
His lips didn’t leave yours for a single second as the water poured over both of you. Every inch of your skin was drenched, the droplets sliding down your body, but that didn’t matter. The water was washing away all of the emotions of the day and was leaving you two in your own intimate bubble. However, nothing about what was happening in the shower carried any sexual energy, it was pure love and comfort. You could feel that he needed this more than anything, and you were right there for him. 
His hands continued to roam around your body, slowly but deliberately as he continued to remind himself that you were right there with him. A few seconds later, his lips left yours as he started trailing soft kisses down your wet jawline and neck. Each press of his lips against your skin felt like an apology and a promise all at once–his way of saying that you were his safe space, his sanctuary, and that he was sorry that something came so close to infiltrating his safe space and that he promised it wouldn’t happen again. 
He then moved his forehead to rest against yours, briefly staring into your eyes, before mumbling, “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” while gently squeezing your hips. 
You looked into his tired baby blues before cupping his face with your hands, “It’s a good thing you’ll never have to find out,” you whispered, then leaning forward to capture his lips in the soft kiss again, your noses brushing against each other as you pulled him in closer. 
You felt awful that Joe was feeling like this–mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted. You wanted nothing more than to kiss his worries away and get rid of all the doubt and the pain by doing such a simple task. He didn’t deserve to feel this pain, this disappointment, this self-doubt. He worked so hard for everything, for football, for you–and seeing his hard work not pay off felt like a constant punch in the gut. Nothing hurts worse than seeing the person you love give their all to something–no matter how draining it was–and for it to rarely give anything back. 
It was even more painful when you saw him cry because of you. The thought of you being a burden, you adding to his stress, was still stuck in your mind. You felt guilty because most of this was your fault. If you weren’t there, then those men wouldn’t have said anything; Joe wouldn’t have a reason to feel this guilty. 
He blamed himself for the entire situation, and you blamed yourself. Except, he was being open about his feelings with you and you weren’t. The roles were reversed from last week. You were shutting him out in order to remain strong for him, and he knew that which made him feel even guiltier. 
“I love you,” he said in between the tender kiss, snapping you out of your daze as his hand cupped your cheek and thumb traced your cheekbone.
“I love you, forever,” you replied, your hand pushing his lips back onto yours. He needed to remind himself that you were still there, but you needed to remind yourself that he was still there too. Even if you didn’t want to admit it to him. 
After helping him shower, you finally got him comfortable in bed. The tiredness on his face was evident, but his mind was clearly still spiraling. It was a long day, emotionally draining for both of you, but you knew he needed rest more than anything right now. 
You slipped into the bed next to him, immediately turning to your side and pulling him into your body. His hands instinctively wrapped around your waist as he laid his cheek against your chest, your hands threading through his damp hair as you pressed light kisses around his face. 
“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he whispered a few quiet minutes later as he looked up at you with his tired eyes. 
“Shh, Joe,” you cooed as you moved his head back to your chest. “It’s okay, you’re okay, I’m right here. Go to sleep, baby,” you added with a kiss to his forehead, your heart breaking at his confession because that meant you were right; he wasn’t over it. 
He gave you a small nod before taking a deep breath, “I love you, Y/N. Thank you for everything you do for me,” he whispered, pressing a few kisses to your chest before fluttering his eyes closed. 
The rest of the hour was spent like this, with Joe wrapped tightly around your body. His head rested against your chest as you contuted to whisper gentle sweet nothings into his ear in hopes of soothing his restless mind. Occasionally, you’d press soft kisses against his forehead, his hair, and his cheek–each kiss adding to the palliative effect. Slowly, the tension was leaving his body and his breathing evened out. Your fingers continued to move in his hair, your nails lightly scratching his scalp which you knew always calmed him down. “I love you,” you repeatedly whispered with a gentle kiss to his temple. “I love you too, like a lot a a lot,” you said, echoing what he often times said to you.
About thirty minutes later, Joe was finally passed out like a baby, his face relaxed and free from worry. You glanced down at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips at the sight of him peacefully asleep and because of the sound of his soft snores.
“Thank god,” you whispered, relief washing over you because you got his brain to turn off for the night.
But unlike Joe’s brain, yours was still moving at the speed of light. Now that everything around you was quiet again, the voices in your head got louder. Normally, you were usually the one who had trouble falling asleep and Joe would be there to help you, but this time it was the opposite. 
You stared up at the ceiling for a few minutes, hoping and wishing that doing this would bore you to sleep somehow, but you were so wrong. 
You let out an exhausted sigh before reaching over and grabbing your phone from the nightstand, making sure to quickly dim the brightness so it wouldn’t wake Joe up. “Looking at old photos always calms me down,” you whispered to yourself as you opened the photos app on your phone, getting ready to do what you did last week after you and Joe’s argument. Looking through old photos, specifically from happy moments, always seemed to calm you down in moments just like these. 
You made an album specifically for photos of you and Joe in your photo app; it was like a little treasure box of memories that always brought a smile to your face. It was also your secret weapon for moments like these–when things got heavy and you needed a reminder of the simple times.
You tapped the randomizer button, your usual go-to when you wanted some nostalgia with a hint of surprise. This button would pull up any photo from any year, any moment, without any warning–which is why it was so special. You never knew what photo you would see, but it was always guaranteed to be a moment worth reliving. 
You tapped the button, this time a photo of the two of you from 2020 popped up on your screen. 
You were in the driver’s seat of the new car Joe had just bought and he was right next to you holding the camera–a pure, deeply in love smile and look on both your faces.
Flashback to 2020
“God, this car is amazing,” you smiled over at Joe as you turned onto the next street in your neighborhood. 
“I know right?” he nodded. “It feels like we’re gliding on the clouds or something, it’s so smooth,”. 
Currently, you two were driving around your new neighborhood that you had just moved into in Cincinnati, a few months post-NFL draft. Joe had recently purchased his first luxury car with his contract money, a beautiful sleek Maybach, and you were spending the evening driving it around and enjoying your quiet time together in your new city. 
Joe drove you around downtown Cincinnati first–both of you making a list of food places you were going to try, parks you were going to visit, and the prime date night spots–and then offered to switch places with you once you got back to the suburbs area. At first, he was going to let you drive around the city instead of him, but you were way too scared that you'd end up hitting something or crashing to let yourself even think about sitting behind the wheel. But, after a half hour of him sweet-talking you and reassuring you everything was going to be alright while driving, you were now in the driver's seat and were whipping the car around like it was no big deal. 
That was the Joe effect. 
"I love dating a rich man," you winked at him, earning an eyebrow raise from him that would send you straight to your knees if you were standing up right now. 
"Well, I love being a rich man who can spoil his sexy girlfriend at any time he feels like," he smirked. 
"Are you sure you don't love being my passenger princess even more?" you giggled as you reached over to turn the air conditioner down when you saw him pull the sleeve of his hoodie down. "You look pretty damn comfy over there," you said while looking down at his feet, which were only covered with his socks as he decided to take his shoes off.
"Oh, baby I am comfy," he groaned. "This seat is like a marshmallow or something," he sighed as he wiggled his shoulders against the seat. 
"I told you," you smiled, hitting the right turn signal as you approached the stop sign. "I just wish we could figure out how to set up the audio system. I'm missing our music right about now and was hoping we could do some car karaoke today," you sighed as you turned right and started going down another street.
"Yeah, I know," Joe sighed next to you, cupping your upper thigh with his hand, prompting you to glance down for a second. "Ah, ah," he shook his head when he noticed you looking down, "Eyes on the road,".
"You better not move that hand any higher, Burrow," you said while giving him a heated look, knowing his hands were dangerously close to a certain spot. 
"I won't, I won't," he nodded with a cheeky smile, knowing the hold he had over you. "But anyway. Since we don't have music to keep ourselves entertained, how about a short, our version, game of 20 questions?".
"Oooo," you said with wide eyes. "I love that idea!” you chirped. “Let’s make it couple themed too, to add to the vibe,”.
“You got it,” he smiled over at you, his heart swelling as he watched you sitting so relaxed next to him, driving your new car, in your new neighborhood, in your new life together. It was silly, but he couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe he was getting to do this with you, the one he loved the most. Back at LSU, the thought of this happening was a dream for him even though he was watching it all unfold right under his nose. It didn’t really hit him that you two were doing this–starting the next phase of your lives, the adult phase, the phase where you were together together in every single aspect–until you two had signed the lease for your first home together last month. 
“Okay, the first question for you,” you smiled. “What’s the romantic thing you’ve ever imagined us doing together?”. 
Joe looked ahead on the road as he thought of his answer, but he really didn’t need to think for that long because the answer was so obvious as he’d thought about it about a hundred times every night before going to sleep. “Getting married,” he turned his head and smiled at you. 
Married. 
You felt your stomach do a backflip when those words registered in your head. He’d never said this to you before or ever brought up the idea of getting married, even though it was all you could think about after your first date back at LSU. You thought that it was just your brain getting overexcited at the possibility of your childhood fantasy of marrying Prince Charming coming true–and your first date together solidified that he was the Prince Charming you were waiting for–but you had no idea that he felt the same way. 
“When we’re ready, of course,” he added, snapping you out of your trance. 
You looked over at him, your eyes twinkling with love for him which made his heart skip a beat. “Really?” you breathed out.
“Hell yeah,” he smiled. “You’re my girl, my lady. My one and only. Why would I want to pass up on making an extraordinary woman like you, my wife?” he asked with an adorable smile. There was a certainty in his voice, a certainty that left no room for doubt. Joe had always been sure of you, even when you got in your head and questioned things. The way he said it, with that cute, boyish smile, it was impossible not to feel it too–the deep love and the absolute certainty he had in the two of you.
“I love you,” you pouted, watching him lean in and press a quick kiss to your lips.
“I love you more than anything in the universe,” he winked. 
“Okay, my turn again,” you beamed as you looked back onto the road, Joe nodding beside you and rubbing his thumb across your thigh. “If you could describe our chemistry in a sentence, what would you say?” you asked him. 
Joe’s eyes sparkled with a soft smile as he thought about your question. “I’d say our chemistry is like lightning in a bottle–rare because so many people search for what we have their entire life, unpredictable like anything could happen which keeps us on our toes but also not too unpredictable because we’re lightning in a bottle so it’s contained and secure, and full of energy, but always electric whenever we’re together,”.
“So sweet and poetic,” you smiled as you glanced over at him. “If football ever gets boring, I think you should write a poetry book."
Joe chuckled, his hand still resting on your thigh as he gave it a playful squeeze. “Oh yeah?” he smirked. “Think I’ve got what it takes to be the next great romantic poet?” he winked, clearly amused by the idea, but the way he looked at you–like you were his muse–made it feel like maybe he could.
“Mhm. I think you can write a better Sonnet 18 than Shakespeare did,” you teased. 
“I appreciate the confidence,” he grinned as he moved his hair back with his fingers. “Okay, I have a question for you,”.
“Shoot,” you replied. 
“What’s the most enticing way I can wake you up?” he smirked, the energy in the car going from playful to sensual within 5 seconds of him saying that.
“With your head in between my thighs,” you blushed. “That feeling of your soft scruff rubbing against my skin, your beautiful nose against my clit…Ugh, it’s too perfect. Best way to wake up,”.
“Damn, you didn’t even have to think about that one,” he laughed. 
“Nope. It’s happened all too many times for me to prefer any other way of getting woken up. Except for that one morning, the morning after the date you told me you loved me, when that almost made me miss my psychology exam,” you giggled. “Then I would’ve preferred a coffee to wake me up but every other time, that’s the best way,”. 
“Good to know,” he chuckled. “Okay, next question. If we could have a dance party, just us, what song would you dance with me to?”.
“Teenage Dream, Katy Perry. Duh,” you grinned. “You make me feel like I'm livin' a teenage dream, the way you turn me on, I can't sleep, let's run away, and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” you sing. 
“My heart stops when you look at me, just one touch now baby I believe, this is real, so take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back,” he sings along with you. 
“Damn, okay Katy,” you giggled, applauding his ability to stay on the pitch and sing with you. 
“Thanks, babe,” he smiled, doing a little bow in his seat. 
“Oo, I have another one. What’s one thing you love about me that you don’t tell me enough?” you asked him with an eager smile. 
“Hmm, that’s a good one,” he said, biting his lip as he thought carefully about what to say. A few seconds later, he looked at you with an almost shy smile. “How strong you are,” he said. “You don’t realize it, but you’re the strongest person I know. You always take care of everyone else–your friends, family, me–without ever asking for anything in return. And you never give yourself enough credit for how much you handle. I don’t tell you that enough, but I see it every day,”. 
“I’m gonna cry,” you pouted, placing your hand on his which was resting on your thigh. “I love love loveee you,” you said as you brought his hand up, intertwined your fingers, and brought it up to your lips for a kiss. 
“I love you,” he smiled, those three words always coming from his lips and never getting old or redundant. Since he said it so often, it was a constant reminder of how deep-rooted his love was for you. He was all in for you, so infatuated with you to the point where being without you caused him physical pain. 
You turned onto the next street–the street where your house was–which signaled the game was coming to an end.  “Since we’re almost home, I take the final question,” Joe smiled as he sat up in his seat and reached down to slip his shoes on. 
“Okay,” you grinned.
“What’s one thing that I could do that would turn you on immedi-,” he began to say but before he could finish answering you interrupted him.
“The eye-brow raise,” you blurted out, a crimson blush rising on your face at the mental image of him doing the one thing that sent you straight to your knees in front of him. 
“Oh?” he said, surprised at your straightforwardness. 
You slowly turned your head to him, your eyes widening when you saw him doing said eyebrow raise at you right now as you turned into the garage of your home. “Joseph Lee!” you shrieked, slapping his thigh gently.
“I mean, we are home now,” he laughed, the smirk on his face screaming trouble. “At least we won’t have to get the car dirty,”. 
You stared at him with your jaw practically on the floor before he laughed again and used his hand to close your jaw. “Just kidding,” he smiled, “Maybe..” he added with a whisper. 
“Mhmmmm,” you squinted your eyes and nodded as you turned off the car. 
“Anywayyy,” he said as he unbuckled his seat belt and turned to you. “You like driving the car?”.
You unbuckled your seatbelt and turned to face him, matching his movements, “I mean Of course, who wouldn’t? It’s a Maybach,” you giggled. 
“Great, it’s your new car,” he grinned. 
Your eyes widened, “What?” you gasped, your voice filled with disbelief. 
He laughed, his smile getting even bigger at your reaction. “Yup, it’s all yours. Figured it was time you had something this valuable to match how valuable you are,”.
You stared at him with a mix of emotions swirling in your body, “You’re kidding right?” you asked, half expecting him to say it was a joke. “I thought this was your car?”.
“Nope. I’m getting a Porche for myself. This one is just for you, a special car for my special girl,” he smiled. 
You blankly stared at him for a few seconds before sliding your Uggs off and hopping over the center console, into Joe’s lap. You couldn’t believe that he just bought this car for you, something so expensive and grand. It was just for you. 
He really loved you more than anything in the world, and everything he did just showed you how all in he was for you. This was another thing added to the list, a very long, lengthy, beautiful list.
You didn't even ask him for anything, he just knew.
“Woahh, hey,” he laughed as his hands instantly went to your waist. 
“I fucking love you,” you grinned as you started attacking his face with kisses. “Like I seriously don’t deserve you at all,”. 
“You deserve everything and more, baby. You deserve the world and I can’t wait to give it to you,” he said to you, the look in his eyes sending chills down your spine. 
“Thank you, Joe. Thank you for all of it,” you smiled before you started peppering kisses around his jawline, feeling his scruff against your lips. 
“No need to thank me. You deserve it for all you do for me,” he smiled. 
“I do need to thank you,” you said as you pulled away from him and looked into his eyes, your eyes now filled with mischief and pure heat. 
He raised his eyebrows at your teasing expression, “Okay if you insist. But how so?”.
You looked him up and down as you licked your lips, an idea sparking inside your head. You leaned forward and placed your lips at his ear, “I think we should christian the new car? For its other use, not just driving. What do you think?” you whispered to him. 
“I think that we should get the car dirty,” he smirked as he moved your head back to his view and started kissing his way down your neck.
“Huh, that’s funny. I was thinking the same thing,” you smirked as you pulled his face back up to yours.
End of Flashback
The photo then changed to another one from 2020. This one specifically was from January 13th, 2020. 
You were in Joe’s apartment, tangled in the sheets of his bed with him, and he was holding the camera in front of you both as you both sported lazy, high-on-the-feeling type smiles on your faces. 
“That was a fun night,” you smiled, immersing yourself in the memory again. 
Flashback to Joe’s apartment – January 13th, 2020
“Fuck, that was good,” Joe breathed out as he fell back against the sheets, turning his head over to look at you to make sure you were alright.
“You have...a lot of energy,” you panted with a satisfied smile as you came down from your high, turning your head to look over at him through his messy hair.
“I feel like I can run a marathon,” he lazily chuckled as he propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at you.
“No running marathons tonight, we’re celebrating,” you winked as you leaned forward to press a kiss to his bicep. 
“That’s okay, I’ll just use my energy on you,” he smirked, “If you can handle it,”.
You let out an offended scoff, “Excuse me? Think I can’t match your stamina?”.
Joe looked around the room, avoiding eye contact with you as a smirk tugged at his lips. You grabbed a pillow from behind you and gently slapped his chest with it, “May I remind you of your birthday last month?” you giggled, reminding him of that very very long night you two spent in his apartment celebrating his birthday, alone. 
“Okay, Okay,” he said, taking back what he said. “Fair point. You can handle it,”. 
“Damn right, I can. I’m a National Champion’s girlfriend now, I can handle anything,” you smiled as you laid back against the sheets again, stretching your arm out to cup his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheek. 
“I’m really glad you didn’t mind celebrating here, just the two of us,” he said a few quiet seconds later as he moved your hand to his mouth and pressed a kiss to your palm. 
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else, Joe. You’re all I need,” you said to him as you pulled him down and pressed your soft lips against his. 
“That’s great because,” he said between the kiss, “I really didn’t want to be out there tonight,” he said as he went back to your lips, maneuvering himself in the sheets so he was on top of you again.
The LSU Tigers had just won the National Championship just a few short hours ago at the Mercedes Benz Superdome in New Orleans. The entire city was alive with celebration and excitement, and the team was riding the high of their victory tonight. While most of the players and their partners were hitting up every club and bar on Bourbon Street, you found yourself in a quieter, more intimate setting. 
After wrapping up his media appearances for the night, Joe surprised you. You thought you two would just go with the rest of the team to whichever bar they wanted to raid first but Joe just had a feeling you were slightly opposed to the idea of bar hopping all night because he knew you didn’t really enjoy getting blackout drunk in order to have fun, and he was the same. So instead, he took your hand and led you to the car, alone–just the two of you.
The streets, the media, the entire state was buzzing with thrill and excitement over tonight’s game and Joe’s NFL ready performance, but Joe was only thinking about you. He knew how great the game was, how good he looked, and what this meant for his future as a Pro. But he could care less about all that right now. For him, tonight wasn’t about the parties, the lights, or the drinking–it was about sharing this moment with you. The person who had been with him since the start of his journey down here. 
“My little hermit crab,” you giggled as you pulled away from the kiss. “Even when it’s all about you, you still want to hide away in your shell,”. 
“Well, I’m not alone in my shell,” he pouted, “I have you and that’s all I’ll ever need,”. 
“I love you,” you said as you brushed your nose against his. “And I’m so proud of you,”. 
“Babyyy,” he shyly said while stuffing his face in your neck to hide his rosy cheeks. 
“What?” you said as you looked down at him. “I think I deserve to tell you how proud I am of you an unlimited amount of times tonight,”. 
“You’re gonna get tired of it,” he mumbled against your neck as he was pressing sloppy kisses around the bare skin.
“Oh, I am never getting tired of saying it I’ll have you know that,” you said as you stuffed your hand into his hair and played with his curls. “You always find a way to make me prouder so I’m always going to have something new to be proud of,”. 
“...Keep talking,” he said a few seconds later as he moved his head so that it was laying in your neck.
“Gladly,” you said as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, your voice soft and filled with emotion. “Do you even realize how far you’ve come? You’re not just the guy who won the College Football National Title tonight. You’re that kid from Athens, Ohio who fought his way from being a third-string quarterback–someone who people didn’t believe in, someone who thought his shot might never come as he sat on the bench for every game,”. 
Joe stayed quiet as he listened closely to what you were saying to him. “You broke free from that, baby. You took every challenge, and every setback, and used it as fuel to get here. You didn’t give up when things weren’t going your way, and now look at you? National Champ, Star QB, and a leader of a team that believed in you because you believed in yourself,”. 
“That little boy from Athens has come so far. So far from throwing a football in front of twenty, maybe thirty people at a pee-wee football game, to throwing a football in front of thousands of fans with even millions more watching from TV. You’ve worked so hard for this and I want you to be as proud of yourself as I am of you. Because tonight…you didn’t just with the trophy. You proved to yourself, you proved to everyone, that betting on yourself always works. That you are so much more than everyone gave you credit for. You proved that Joe Burrow is that guy and is going to be that guy for years to come,” you added, feeling him hold onto you a little tighter as you continued talking. 
“You did this, Joe. You did the damn thing you always dreamed of doing as a little boy. And this wasn’t just some lucky break, this was you turning that dream into reality. Every time you threw a football in the park with me when you got here, every practice, every struggle–it brought you here. You didn’t let anyone’s doubts or opinions stop you. This win, this night–it’s everything you’ve worked for, everything you’ve earned. And it’s just the beginning of your story. Who knows where you’re going to end up after the draft, but all I know right now is that you’ve done what you set out to do. Whether it’s to the NFL or wherever life takes you, you’ve shown nothing can hold you back. The sky isn’t the limit, Joe,” you said while feeling him press a kiss to your jaw and then a wet droplet streaming down your neck, likely a tear droplet from his eyes. “Little Joey Burrow from Athens who used to look up at the sky, dreaming of moments like these? He’s made it. He’s touched the sky. And now, nothing is stopping him from reaching even higher than the sky,”. 
“I am eternally proud of you,” you said, ending your sweet speech with another kiss on his forehead.
You hear Joe’s soft sniffles come from under you, “I love you, Y/N. I really fucking love you. I think out of everything that’s happened to me since coming to LSU, including tonight, you’re by far the best thing. I don’t know how I lived my life all those years without you, to be honest. And I know I can’t live the rest without you either,”. 
“Aww, Joey,” you cooed. “I can’t live without you either,” you said as you brought his face back up to yours and mashed your lips against his. “I can’t and I won’t,” you said as you pecked his lips. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close, forever and ever?” you asked him, the look in both your eyes answering that question for you both without needing to say anything. 
“You don’t need to ask me, baby. You’re going where I’m going whether you like it or not,” he smiled. “It’s you and me for infinity,”. 
“Good,” you nodded, a warm feeling in your heart as you two lightly touched the topic of your future together. “I’m not letting go of you if you want me t-, ahhh!” you shrieked as Joe grabbed your waist and easily flipped you over so that you were on top of him. 
“What were you saying?” he smirked as his hands gripped your waist with an intensity that matched the look in his eyes. 
“Damn, you’re strong,” you giggled as you leaned forward and moved his hair out of his eyes, your bare breasts dangling in front of his face which was all he could think about now. 
“Damn, you’re sexy,” he groaned as he slid his hands up your bare back, pushing you forward so that he could latch his mouth onto a nipple. 
You fluttered your eyes closed as you felt him swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud, “Ohh, yeah,” you whispered, your hips rocking against his as a jolt of pleasure vibrated through your tired body. 
“Mm, I wanna taste you,” he said as he pressed kisses along your sternum before moving to your other breast. “I think I deserve a sweet treat for winning the Championship,”. 
Joe’s breath hitched as your hands slid up his chest, your fingernails gently scratching his skin, His eyes darkened as they locked on yours, the intensity between you building with each parting second.
“I mean, it’s only fair,” you shrugged playfully, your voice soft but laced with desire. You bit your lip before adding, “But I want to ride you,” meeting his gaze with a look that spoke volumes. There was a fire in your eyes, one he couldn’t resist, one that seemed to pull him in deeper.
He swallowed hard, his body already reacting to the heat between you, completely mesmerized by the way you looked at him. “Damn,” he whispered, his voice raspy as he slid down on the bed and brought you with him. "You always know exactly what to say to drive me crazy,"
“I know,” you winked, “It’s my job,” you added before you felt him grip your waist again, this time feeling him lift you from his hips and onto his chest. 
“You ready?” he asked you, making sure you were alright even though this wasn’t the first time you’d done this before.
“Oh, hell yeah,” you grinned as you spread your legs wider and moved onto his face, lining your slick core with his mouth. 
A few seconds passed by as you got comfortable, his hands tightly gripping your waist and your ass as you let out a few breathy moans at the feeling of his perfect, ski slope nose rubbing against your aching clit. “Joe,” you whimpered. 
He looked up at you and the sight of you biting your bottom lip and holding onto the bedframe was enough to make him cum without you even doing anything to him, he was mesmerized by you. 
He used his tongue to lick a long stripe across your slit before thrusting his tongue into your core, your hips beginning to gently rock back and forth against his face. “Mmm, fuck,” you moaned, a warm feeling fluttering through your belly as you felt yourself getting lost under his touch. 
“Fuck,” he blubbered underneath you, “You taste like heaven,” he said while closing his eyes and gripping you even tighter. The feeling of his scruff against your bare skin was driving you insane. There was legit no better feeling on this planet than feeling his scruff in between your thighs. 
He continued to lap at your folds with his skillful mouth, even looking up at you with his wild eyes a few times and noticing how you threw your head back each time his lips latched onto your clit, even how you fell a little forward when his nose would rub against it. He was as skillful with his mouth as he was with his hands, both always moving with precision and perfection on you. He always knew what to do in order to send you over the edge, he knew your body like it was a road he’d driven down over a thousand times. 
“Joe, fuck…you’re so- you’re so good at t- this,” you moaned, stuffing your hands into his fluffy, disheveled hair as you rocked your hips back and forth a little harder. 
Your grip on his hair was as tight as the grip he had on you, both of you steadying yourselves due to the intensity of the pleasure unfolding between you. “Yeah, just like that,” you whimpered after you felt him move his hand to your wet heat, his thumb grazing over your bundle of nerves as you felt yourself inching closer to your orgasm. 
You tugged on his hair a little harder, this time earning a moan from him that vibrated through your entire body and sent you straight to heaven for a second as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, “Ah,” you whimpered as you felt the band in your belly tighten with each expert flick of his tongue and scratch of his scruff against your core. 
“I’m gonna cum, baby,” you whispered as you closed your eyes, your entire body hotter than the sun with the way his mouth was going unhinged on your soaked core. 
Joe opened his eyes and glanced up at you, a feeling of accomplishment and pride coursing through his veins, and it wasn’t because of winning big tonight. It was because of you. Because he was the only man on this planet to get you like this. 
He latched his mouth onto your clit, flicking the bud with his hot tongue as you felt your high starting to come over you with each nip and suck of his mouth and the feeling of your waist being squeezed by his big hand. 
“Joe…Joe…Joe!” you screamed a few seconds later as you felt your orgasm cut through you, your hands gripping the bed frame so that your tight grip didn’t end up ripping his hair out. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whimpered as you felt your release fall into his hot mouth and his tongue continuing to work you through your high. 
“I love you,” you breathed out a few seconds later once you looked down at him, feeling him smile into your drenched heat as he continued to coax you through your high.
And in that moment, you once again realized that there was no other place you both would rather be right now. You were away from the noise, from the flash of the cameras, from the distractions. This felt like the real celebration. The one that mattered the most. Joe had achieved one of his dreams, and the only thing that made it sweeter was sharing this private, intimate moment with you. 
All the sacrifices, sleepless nights, countless hours of practice–it all led to this. And the one person he wanted to be with, more than anyone else, was you. 
You were both exactly where you needed to be. Together. And that was the real victory.
End of Flashback 
You snapped back to the present when your phone turned off and the light was no longer reflecting onto your face. Your face felt wet, as well as your eyes as you looked down at your phone which had droplets sliding down the screen. You didn’t even realize that while reliving these memories, you started crying. 
You swiped at your face, trying to wipe away the tears as if you could get rid of the feelings that had overwhelmed you. You glanced down at Joe, praying that none of this had woken him up–which thankfully it didn’t. 
“Everything was so simple back then,” you thought to yourself as you felt a few more straggling tears slide down your cheeks. You missed those times, those times when your only concerns were what bag and clothes he was going to bring to his first practice as a Bengal or what team he’d end up going to post Natty win & NFL draft. 
And now? Now there were so many concerns, worries, and thoughts that needed to be sorted. But why? “When did everything get so complicated?” you asked yourself as you glanced back down at him, his puffy eyes still closed and his mouth slightly open as the soft snores continued to come through. “Why did everything get so complicated for him? Why is he in so much pain? He doesn’t deserve this…he works so hard. He does everything he needs to do. He does so much for me and for this life, we built,” you thought to yourself again as you felt your stomach drop.
You wished you could do something to help him, do something to just fix everything that was bothering him. But you couldn’t. 
The only thing you could do was remain strong, remain as his anchor, and prevent him from going under. 
Even if sometimes you felt like you were about to go under yourself. 
You leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead before whispering, “I’m so sorry Joe. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish I could make this better. You deserve the world and I’m so sorry that I can’t help you in the way I should be,".
"I’m sorry," you whispered again as you felt another tear slide down your cheek.
–To be Continued–
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1d1195 · 4 months ago
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~3.5k words
From me: I mentioned I had a kinda rough weekend. This just sort of wrote itself. Def a stand alone. Second chance at love. I wrote it mostly in the drafts page and didn't do a whole lot of editing for continuity so it's probs not very realistic nor will it make a ton of sense. But anyway.
Warnings: MC parent death; funeral, angst, angst angst. But I'm hoping if you read it you'll see some cathartic, comforting fluff.
Summary: She and Harry broke up years ago and it was completely fine. But seeing her again, even under sad circumstances has his heart pulling him closer to her.
It had been eight years since he had last laid eyes on her. But when he read the piece on her mum off a mutual friend’s Facebook page he was transported back to one of those moments he spent so totally in love with her.
The idea that her best friend was gone made him terrified for her well being. It was the reason he was in a hotel room, straightening his tie in the mirror. Double checking he didn't miss any spots while shaving. He looked simultaneously presentable yet solemn. Her mum was special, beautiful. She made Harry feel at home the entire time they dated. Bought him thoughtful gifts for his birthday and Christmas. Made sure she bought his favorite snacks and always inquired about school, work, or his favorite show. She joked with her that Harry was too good for her and she didn’t treat him well enough (which was inherently false). She was the perfect girlfriend and had the perfect mum.
He couldn’t imagine how she was feeling.
Harry didn’t want to make his appearance about his arrival at the funeral home at all. He stepped in line silently, tried not to make eye contact with anyone and slowly made his way through toward the front, pretending he was invisible. He looked at the picture boards as he walked along his favorite girl and her mother in so many of them. Both were beautiful and Harry thought she was going to look just like her mother when she was older and so he was really lucky that he would know she was beautiful for the rest of his life. But he would have predicted that anyway.
Their relationship ended amicably enough. They were changing, time moving on, and quite frankly it felt like they couldn't spend enough time together so it didn't seem fair. "Shouldn't we want t'spend time with each other, beautiful? Shouldn't we feel feel bad we're not spending time together? It shouldn't be forced. You're m'favorite person in the world, kitten. S'not fair."
He was right of course. She agreed. So they went their separate ways. Since they were still in university at the time, they saw each other frequently. Their friend groups overlapped a bit so they weren't rid of each other all that much until after graduation. There was even a picture of the pair of them together on that day--her mum's suggestion. It was apparent more so then, that they were changing and moving on but Harry was grateful for that picture. When he saw the notice of her mum's passing, he looked at it fondly and felt something in the pit of his stomach. Wanting and wishing he had made more time for her. That she wasn't so busy and their time apart hadn't lasted as long.
But that was eight years ago. Harry was thirty now. He had a few girlfriends during that time and maybe it wasn't a surprise they didn't work out. When he inquired of his friends if he should go to support her, they said it was up to him. Louis and Eleanor were out of the country so they would send flowers. Mitch and Sarah were waiting for Sarah to give birth at any moment so they too, would send flowers.
"I'll be at the funeral," Niall assured him. "I can't make the visiting hours, sorry, Harry," Harry could hear his frown as they spoke on the phone.
"S'okay, s'nice y'can make it t'any of it. She'll appreciate it."
"I hope," a frown in his voice, a sigh in his tone.
"No, she will," Harry was confident. She would never make Niall feel bad--anyone feel bad. It was just the way she was.
Harry was in front of the urn containing the ashes of her mother and he knelt and said a short prayer for her and her sweet daughter. He tried not to think about his own mother at such a sad time and how he would feel if this was her. He shook his head, blessed himself automatically, and stood to greet the receiving line. It was filled with aunts and uncles who were surprised to see him. He didn't fully understand their surprise (of course he would be there for her--even if things were different now) but moved to each one, quietly apologizing for the loss of their sister and only answering how work, life, and everything was with as few words as possible. It was just her and her mom. Dad was out of the picture before she was even born. It wasn't a bad thing because she was her mum's whole life and she never made her want for anything. "Where is she?" Harry asked quietly. Usually the children were first in the line but she wasn't there.
"Another spat with the boyfriend," her aunt rolled her eyes. "You are by far our favorite," she smiled at him encouragingly. "Don't leave till she gets back, if you can. She deserves to see someone who will make her happy right now," she winked.
Harry felt his eyebrows crawl up his forehead in surprise. He nodded. Pride bloomed inside him for being the favorite. It wasn't the time but he couldn't help it. His heart felt heavy, worried she was with someone horrible. "Yeah, sure. Of course."
So Harry stayed in the little seating area, watching people walk through the receiving line, looking at the slideshow of pictures that somehow managed to boil down to one person's life. There was even a picture or two of him. It made sense, he was in her life for nearly four years and they were inseparable until they weren't.
Harry smiled fondly at the memories within the pictures and wondered where she could be right now. He had seen the full slideshow twice.
"Harry, you're still here?"
He cleared his throat, stood, and shook one of her uncle's hands again. "Yeah... um... haven't seen her yet."
"She went outside with the boyfriend ages ago. I'm assuming they're still arguing or she's trying to calm herself down enough to come in and fake that everything's fine."
Harry frowned. "Maybe I'll go check then," he suggested and headed for the door.
Why was she dating someone if it was clear no one in her family liked him?
The men at the door, let Harry through and he quietly walked to the side of the building wondering where she could be having a private conversation at a funeral home. The side was dark except for a flood light that perfectly illuminated the couple. Harry stepped out of sight but strained to listen.
"What do you mean, 'you have to go'? You're seriously joking right?"
Harry didn't know her voice could take on a tone that sounded so angry like that. They never fought that way. No more than who's pizza topping was better or if they had to pick which dinner place to go to on a busy Saturday night.
"Babe, you know with my work--"
"This is my mother," she croaked. It felt like a bullet through Harry's chest to hear her choked up like that. All that grief wrapping in her throat and pulling on her vocal cords.
"I know, but don't you think she would want me to continue living my life and doing what I need to do so--"
"She's my best friend," her voice cracked because she was crying so hard. Harry wanted to run over, unceremoniously knock him to the ground, and comfort her. "You're supposed to be here to support me!"
"Well you know death kind of freaks me out, babe. I'm trying to support our future. I've been here all day."
Her tone was so biting, he truly couldn't believe it. "You've been here for an hour."
Harry winced and shook his head. No one liked death. Everyone was freaked out by it to some degree. But he was supposed to love her; be there for her.
"If you leave, we're done," Harry felt intrusive for listening in but he couldn't move.
"You don't mean that."
"I do, mean that. I really, really, really, really mean that," she sniffed. Good girl. Harry thought. "I have put up with your bullshit like this for way too long and you're unsupportive and if you leave this is it," she assured him. "Work cannot be more important than me."
"It's important for us, babe. So when we get married--"
"And when will that be?" She shouted.
"For the love of God, we're going to do this now?"
"It's been three years. I'm thirty and wanted kids and you are just..." she trailed off. "Fine. Go. We're done anyway."
"Babe, you don't mean that--"
"I will pack my stuff up when I get home."
"And where are you going to go? You don't have a job right now--"
"BECAUSE I WAS TAKING CARE OF MY DYING MOTHER."
Why was she even with this guy? Harry couldn't fathom it. It was so unlike her to date someone so crass and careless. Or maybe Harry was just filled with rage and envy of a man that couldn't help her the way she deserved.
"Well..." he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I have a plane to catch. Maybe after you've calmed down and aren't grieving we can have a more pleasant conversation."
A silent moment passed between them. Surely he heard it as he said it. It couldn't have been just her and Harry that heard what he implied. "Do... do you... do you think I'm supposed to be done grieving?" She hissed.
He sighed, mumbled something about calling her when he landed, and walked away. He didn't even notice Harry pressed to the building.
Harry watched him get in his car and pull away as if this wasn't the worst day of her life. Harry took several deep breaths to calm himself. This wasn't about him or how he wanted to strangle him. This was about her, her grief.
She was leaning against the wall. She was heaving, sobbing into one hand. For what, at that point, Harry didn't know. He could only see her from behind, the same figure he could have picked out in a lineup and if he was blind. But she seemed smaller. Withdrawn of course. Her free arm wrapped around her stomach like she was trying to hold herself together.
"Hey beautiful," he murmured softly. She sniveled, spun around. Harry was met with her face grief stricken, heartbroken, and tear soaked. But yeah, she was still as beautiful as he remembered. "Aw, kitten," he cooed gently. "C'mon s'cold outside. Let's get you--"
She threw herself against him as he approached. Her arms around his neck and she continued her sobbing against his shoulder. Sighing, he wrapped his arms wrapped around her waist and back, she fit effortlessly into his embrace even after eight or so years since he last saw her. It felt natural to hold her like this. "I know," he murmured comfortingly. "I know, kitten," he kissed the side of her head, soothingly rubbing his hand up and down her spine.
"Please don't let go of me," she cried. "I can't--"
"Shh," he hushed. "M'here. M'not letting go until you do," he promised softly. He hoped she wouldn't pull away because he wanted to take care of her the way that asshole couldn't. It didn't matter what the past was it only mattered that her sweet self could find some sort of contentment.
"Please don't leave me," she begged. "I can't do this alone."
It felt like a switch changed in him. Or maybe it was the anger he felt for her ex-boyfriend. Or perhaps a combination of missing her when he didn't really know he had been missing her and all the frustration he felt for the reasons she was so distraught. He would do anything for her. "No way, beautiful. M'not going anywhere," he assured her pressing his lips instinctively to the top of her hair. Patiently he listened to her cries, held her tightly, and lightly brought a hand to the side of her neck. He carefully pressed his fingertips against her skin, hoping that if she was aching (which he assumed every part of her was) it relieved the smallest bit of tension.
"How much did you hear?" She sniveled pulling away enough to glance into his eyes. Her face was blotchy and red, she was sure. Harry looked like he just left his modeling job for ties and cologne. She wanted to look more beautiful--so it would have at least made sense that Harry had ever decided to date her--even if it was years ago. But she was so overwhelmed with sadness, she couldn't feel anything but that and not even her horrendous look could deter her long enough to utter more than a quick apology for snotting all over him. "M'sorry. I look--"
"Shh," he hushed immediately. Harry pulled a handkerchief from his pocket--Mum was always insistent he have one when he wore a suit. Someone is always crying when you need to wear a suit and it's not to work. Carefully, he dabbed under her eyes, and swiped the fabric across her delicate cheeks. "You look beautiful," he assured her a kind, small smile made his lips curl up just enough to get the dimple in his cheek to appear. The one she had told him she was going to stick her tongue in back when they laid on a mattress that was too small for two people and resulted in a giggling tickle fight between two people who were much too old for tickle fights.
What he would have given to make her laugh now.
Harry kept one arm around her waist taking over her own job to hold herself together. "How much did you hear?" She repeated.
He shrugged, nonchalantly. "Too much, probably."
She frowned; if she could muster an emotion other than sadness and grief, she probably would have been embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry. I was waiting inside, but then your uncle said y'were out here and I wanted t'see you and--"
"Do you need to leave?" She asked quickly. "I'm sorry I'm holding--"
"Kitten," he said gently pinching her chin between his fingers so she had no choice but to look in his eyes and process what he was saying. "M'staying here until y'tell me t'leave."
She sighed. For the first time in what felt like months she felt relief. "Okay."
*
She dragged him alongside her to the front of the receiving line. Harry felt slightly embarrassed and out of place but the rest of her family paid no attention to it. Like he was supposed to be there. She hugged and cried a lot over the next two hours. Harry handed her tissues and water.
“What if I don’t tell you to leave?” She whispered. Harry was standing so close to her that no one else could hear. Like it was just the two of them. She was sipping from a water bottle and Harry was stroking her hair back with his fingers while wiping below her eyes with a tissue.
“Then I’ll never go," his voice was quiet, like hers. He kissed her forehead softly.
"You don't have to obviously, you have no obligation... but is there any chance you were planning to be here tomorrow?" She asked.
He nodded hurriedly. "Course, kitten," he smiled gently, almost sad that she thought he wouldn't. "Niall's going t'come too. He's really sorry he couldn't make it tonight," he explained. "I have a hotel room right nearby so I can stay s'long as y'need me. Do anything y'need, too. And Niall m'sure would be happy t'help if y'need anything requiring two people, as well."
"Really?" A fresh well of tears filled her eyes and Harry's grin grew even if it was sad she was so surprised.
"Of course, beautiful. We... we want t'be here for you," he assured her.
She pressed her face against his shoulder again and sniveled against him. "I owe you a new suit," she mumbled into the fabric.
"Shh..." he hushed. "M'here," he promised. "Don't worry 'bout anything else."
*
His hotel room was dark when they entered. Harry didn’t want anything to happen that could be misconstrued due to her grief but she seemed adamant and sure that she wanted to spend the night. Harry was planning to sleep on the floor but instead they chatted way too much. Much later than a girl who had her mum’s funeral the following morning should have chatted. She giggled the way Harry loved and smiled despite how sad she was. Harry told her all about the last eight years, his job, his mum, their old friends and everything in between.
When he looked at the clock, his phone said it was well past one in the morning and she needed to be up early. “Think y’need t’sleep, kitten,” he was lying beside her, fully clothed except he lost the tie. He was brushing her hair away from her face watching her eyes droop.
“Mom didn’t like him,” she whispered. “She didn’t like anyone that wasn’t you,” she told him.
Harry swallowed nervously. Not because he was worried about her sentiment but because her grief was fresh and the tire tracks of where her stupid ex peeled out of the parking lot were still warm. Her mind had to be jumbled and as much as he wanted to kiss her and make promises, it wasn’t the time. Harry was older and more mature now. The way he wasn’t but wished he had been when they broke up. “After that performance, beautiful,” he sighed with a shake of his head. “M’surprised she didn’t poison him.”
“He didn’t even like her oatmeal raisin and white chocolate chip cookies,” she grumbled bitterly.
“Kitten,” he tutted. “How could you let that continue?” He joked, nudging her playfully.
She turned on her side, their faces inches apart on the same pillow. “Thank you for being here for me,” she whispered.
“There’s no where else I want t’be, beautiful,” he promised.
“I didn’t realize how much I missed you. It’s sad this is what it took.”
He leaned forward, pressed his lips to her forehead and let the kiss linger there. “Do y’want me t’sleep on the floor?”
“No,” she shook her head. “This is the first night I’ve felt tired in months. You have to stay here if you want me to sleep through the night.”
“If you’re sure,” he reached for the bedside lamp and turned it off. He didn’t want to change into different clothes or anything. He just wanted to be there for her.
“This is also your hotel room that I invited myself into," she reminded him.
He grinned at her in the dark. “You’ve always had an open invitation, t’me, kitten,” he brought her closer toward him, kissing the top of her head.
There would be about a thousand and one things to discuss after the funeral. But right then it was late, and they needed to sleep because the day was going to bring more exhaustion and sadness that was inevitable. “Did you mean it?” She whispered quietly after Harry thought she had fallen asleep.
“Mean what, beautiful?” He murmured.
“You’ll never go?”
He nodded. “Mmm,” he hummed inhaling the scent of her shampoo. “I meant it,” his words were slurred with sleep and she knew it because she had heard it in his voice hundreds of times in their time together. He was on the brink of dreaming and her mind was reeling.
“Mom wanted us to get back together,” she whispered. “For ages. She had our graduation picture on the fridge,” she explained. “When I was taking care of her these last few months and he was useless, she kept mentioning you. Told me it wasn’t too late to start over. I guess... I guess this was one way she thought she could bring us back together.”
There was no response because Harry had fallen asleep, and she was close behind. She brought the hand that held his to her lips and kissed his fingers inhaling the comforting smell of him as she finally felt like sleep.
“Your mum was the best,” he mumbled. “She brought you into this world, just for me t’find you.”
The words were lost in her mind, her throat, and her aching heart. But she liked to believe that Harry knew already because he was there, and he wasn’t planning on leaving again.
“We can start over, beautiful. M’not going anywhere,” he whispered one more time as sleep overtook her tired mind.
--
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lxkeee · 9 months ago
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MY LOVE, IS MINE ALL MINE
—PART SIX
Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Fallen Angel! Fem! Reader
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Warnings: none
Notes: sorry it took awhile^^" this is a long chapterr and Happy Valentine's day everyone<3
Word count: 2.5k
PART ONE | PART FIVE | PART SEVEN
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It has been two days since [y/n] started living with Lucifer in the palace of hell that is located in the pride circle. It's awkward to say the least, it has been years since... Well, they spent time with each other.
Lucifer on the other hand is very overprotective over her, making sure she's alright even though she has already fully healed herself.
Both fallen angels spent most of their time just talking and catching up with one another. Lucifer shared to her what happened with his marriage and [y/n] sharing to him what happened to her in heaven when he was gone and she also told him about her time at the hotel with Charlie.
Currently the two are in the living room of the palace, Lucifer's head on [y/n]'s lap as she plays with his hair. Fingers weaving through silky blond locks, soft against her fingertips. Lucifer's eyes are closed as he enjoys the sensation of her fingers running through his hair and massaging his scalp. He misses this so much, it brought back a sense of deja vu to him. Reminding him of the past where he and [y/n] would just be lying down on the clouds, cloud gazing while she plays with his hair and his head on her lap. Lucifer wonders what his life would be if he chose to stay in heaven and didn't break any rules. Would he have been happy with [y/n]? Lucifer mentally asked himself, realizing the thought made his cheeks warmed up.
[Y/n] raises an eyebrow as she watches the man shake his head to himself, laughing quietly to herself.
“What's got you thinking? I just saw you physically disagree with whatever thought you just had.” [y/n] says with a small chuckle, looking down on him. Strands of her hair falling off from her ear where she tucked them, silk like [h/c] locks caressing Lucifer's cheeks. Lucifer looks up and sees her gazing at him, curiosity in her eyes, her hair framing her face perfectly. She looked absolutely divine. Wait a minute, since when did he start looking at his best friend through heart shaped pink colored glasses?!
The realization made his jaw drop, [y/n] getting more confused as she placed her fingers underneath his chin to close his mouth again.
“Now I am really curious what's going on inside that head of yours.” [y/n] mutters, her hand had stopped playing with his hair moments ago.
Lucifer shakes his head, “It is nothing, just... Hell stuff...” he says awkwardly with a laugh, his fingers pulling his collar as it suddenly felt too tight around his neck.
[Y/n] looked at him with her eyebrow still raised but eventually sighs, deciding not to push him to say whatever is bothering him. “Whatever you say, Lu.” she says softly and the comfortable silence falls between them once more. [Y/n] humming a tune while she plays with his hair once more while Lucifer was having an internal conflict.
“It has been awhile since I've last visited the hotel, how about we go and see how the others are?” [y/n] murmurs softly, Lucifer opens his eyes to look at her. His red eyes dilated as he gazed up at her, a soft look on his face. He grins at her, showing her that toothy smile that she loves.
“What a wonderful idea, we should visit them!” Lucifer grins, excited to see his daughter again. Although, not really thrilled in seeing the other sinners. Especially that radio demon. He knows that the bastard would try to pull something that will annoy him.
Lucifer sighs once more, [y/n] wondering what got him to change his mood again. At this point she got used to it.
Sitting up, leaving the comfort of her lap. He sat and faced her, seeing her hair falling into her face, he gently tucks it behind her ear.
The two stared at each other a few seconds before quickly avoiding each other's gazes. Cheeks heating up.
“... Right, we should visit them right now” Lucifer says, clearing his throat awkwardly and [y/n] turns to look at him once more.
“Like... Right now..?” She asked with a raised eyebrow and he nodded.
[Y/n] clears her throat, trying to calm her fast beating heart. She expected this, her buried feelings now unraveling like petals of a newly bloomed flower.
Awkward...
Lucifer coughs awkwardly, turning around to look at her, “If you're ready, we can go right now...?” he suggested and [y/n] looked at him, slightly in deep thought.
“Can you give me some time to prepare something? I want to bring something to them when we visit.” [y/n] says softly and Lucifer sighed but gave her a gentle toothy smile.
“Alright.”
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[Y/n] decided to use Lucifer's kitchen, the king of hell watching her as he leans against the door frame, admiring her figure as she puts on an apron. [Y/n] approaches him, turning around for her back to face him. The ties of the apron are still not tied.
Lucifer smiled and his hand gently worked with the ties of the apron, tying it securely. “I missed eating your cookies, I remember you used to bake me duck shaped cookies.” he says, nostalgia evident in his voice.
[Y/n] chuckles softly, remembering the memories. “Indeed, you often helped me when I baked.” she says and he smiled, turning around as he too wore an apron, [y/n] tying the ties of the apron.
With a flick of his fingers, Lucifer summoned the ingredients they needed. [Y/n]'s eyes sparkled in awe as she sees the ingredients now on the counter.
The two fallen angels began working on the sweets they planned on making, moving around the pristine kitchen. Working together side by side. Lucifer was tasked with whisking the dry ingredients with the wet ingredients. [Y/n] behind him, looming over his smaller body, her hand on his waist while her other hand held his hand that was holding the whisk. Guiding him on how to whisk it.
‘Goodness, she's so close.’ Lucifer thought nervously. His ears felt unbelievably warm.
“Just like that, good.” she murmurs, against his ears. Oh god, he feels like he's about to pass out.
Suddenly he's very hyper aware. He could feel the softness of her skin against his, her hair occasionally caressing his neck as she leans on his shoulder. The hand on his waist, the hand on his waist, the hand on hIS WAIST. Suddenly he could feel how hot his body was, his heart beating so erratically against his ribcage.
“Lu? Are you okay? You seem spaced out...” [y/n] says worriedly as she noticed the man seemed to freeze while whisking.
[Y/n]'s facial expression softens, admiring the man in front of her. He still looked beautiful as the day she lost him.
Removing her hand from his wrist, that hand gently cupped his cheek. Breaking him out of his thoughts, jumping slightly.
“Jesus... You surprised me.” He sighs, placing a hand over his chest to calm his fast beating heart. The golden organ beating against his ribcage.
[Y/n]'s eyes soften, “You spaced out for a second, I got worried.” she says softly, brushing away the strands of blond hair away from his face that was beginning to fall into his face.
“Are you okay?” she asked him worriedly and he gave her a gentle smile, nodding.
“I am alright, I was just... Thinking...” he answers, voice gentle. He wouldn't tell her that he was thinking about her. How he was basically thinking about her touch.
“If you say so...” she says hesitantly and they eventually return to baking.
They just made the classic chocolate cookies and also baked an apple pie.
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They arranged the cookies and placed them into two rectangular boxes, they made enough for the hotel crew. [Y/n] carefully placed the apple pie on the cake container, allowing it to cool down first.
The two decided to change into a cleaner set of clothes as the ones they were wearing were dirtied when they were baking.
Lucifer gifted her clothes of course, she has her own room, a few doors away from his.
[Y/n] decided to wear a cute dress that was on her wardrobe, slipping it over her body. Applying some light makeup on her face. Grabbing a brush, her hand gently moving as she began to brush her hair.
After changing and meeting up in the living room, the two fallen angels didn't notice that they accidentally matched color schemes with their outfits.
Lucifer wore his usual white suit with red accents while [y/n] wore a white with red accents short dress that reaches her knees.
[Y/n] decided to carry the two boxes of cookies they've made, though, Lucifer wanted to be the one to carry it but the woman insisted as he would be the one to teleport them to the hotel.
Lucifer sighs but gives her an understanding smile, placing his arm behind her back and allowing his hand to rest on her waist. The action caught the woman off guard as she could feel heat creeping up to her cheeks.
Lucifer didn't notice how that simple action could fluster her so much, he thought it was nothing as he only wanted to make sure she teleports with him.
With a snap of his fingers, sparkling red smoke covered their bodies. The scenery of the palace's living room morphs as they teleport, now, they're in front of the Hazbin Hotel front doors.
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Charlie was just discussing with the gang about what they're planning to do once Adam and the exorcists will come. Their attention was diverted as knocks were heard on the doors of the hotel.
“Oooh new guests?” Angel Dust says with a smirk, lying on his stomach as he lies on the couch, taking up the entire space.
Alastor was just grinning as he sat on the cushioned chair, Niffty sitting on his shoulders and playing with his hair.
Vaggie was sitting at the bar area with Husk still bartending. Sir Pentious was sitting with them too. The egg boys are just walking around.
Charlie's eyes sparkled, walking to the front door. Opening it to see her dad and... [Y/n]...?!
“Charlieee!” Lucifer greeted as he immediately hugged the girl, [y/n] laughing softly behind them.
Angel Dust looked at Husk, wondering if he saw the same thing as him.
The two fallen angels looked like they were matching outfits. Angel Dust gave them a smirk, in which the two fallen angels were confused why.
“Dad?! I didn't know you were going to visit? And Miss [y/n] I am glad to see you again.” Charlie smiled and approached the woman in which the older woman hugged the girl.
“[y/n] here wanted to visit and I thought why not? Also, we brought cookies! We baked them!” Lucifer says proudly, a grin on his face. [Y/n] laughs softly as she hands the two boxes to Charlie, in which the girl excitedly and happily accepts. “Really? Thank you so much!” Charlie says excitedly.
Charlie gave the two fallen angels a look before giving her dad a knowing smirk, Lucifer was confused.
The two fallen angels looked at each other and shrugged, not knowing what that was about. The two eventually went inside the hotel, closing the doors behind them.
[Y/n] was immediately pulled into the group, the hotel crew missing her. Lucifer smiles as he sits on the bar stool, admiring how she interacted with the others. No one is stupid, they can literally see the lovestruck look the King of Hell is giving the female fallen angel, they can literally see his dilated pupils. Charlie sat beside him, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
“What?” Lucifer deadpans, confused why his daughter is looking at him like that. Tearing his gaze away from his best friend.
Charlie nudges him, “You liked her don't you?” she teases him, Lucifer could feel his cheeks heat up once more.
“Me?! I think it's a little too early?” he says hesitantly and Charlie just gave him a raised eyebrow, clearly not believing him.
Husk scoffs behind the counter as he continues to wipe the glass, “Yeah, no one is believing that. We can literally see you giving her heart eyes and you two even looked like you guys are matching clothes.” Husk says nonchalantly and Lucifer had to double check his outfit and [y/n]'s.
They indeed looked like they were matching outfits.
Husk and Charlie could see the circles of Lucifer's cheeks redden even more. The king of hell was leaning his head against the counter, burying his face on his arm as he used it as a pillow, “It was a coincidence.” he explained and Husk just scoffs and chuckles.
“I think it's too early...” Lucifer murmurs, he doesn't want to admit it but he's scared of what Charlie will think. Will she think that he's replacing her mother?
Charlie's eyes soften, she places a hand on his shoulder for comfort. “You love her don't you? Long before I even existed and you still do and I think you shouldn't deny it dad. It's not healthy.” she murmurs softly and Lucifer sighs.
Charlie smiled softly at him, “If you're afraid of my opinion about this, I think you should go for it dad... I want you to be happy and Miss [y/n] seems to be a nice woman...” she says softly as she looks at the woman smiling with Sir Pentious and the egg boys as they ate the cookies that she and her dad brought. Charlie doesn't mind calling [y/n] her step mom. She already sees her like a mother figure already.
Lucifer's eyes softened, sparkling.
“You better shoot your shot, I think you're not the only one interested in her.” Husk says emotionlessly, gesturing behind Lucifer. The king of hell turned around and he could feel his eye twitch as Alastor gave him a smirk as the radio demon twirled the woman while she laughed.
Husk knows Alastor isn't interested, sure, the radio demon sees the woman more as a companion. He just needed to help this pathetic man they call a king to make a move.
Lucifer's sharp nails slightly graze the wooden counter in annoyance.
Charlie nudges him again, breaking his focus from the scene.
“Besides, I won't mind calling her mom. I won't replace my birth mother of course but Miss [y/n] is like a mom to me too. Allow yourself to be happy, dad.” Charlie says softly, smiling at her father.
Lucifer could feel himself get flustered at the idea. Him, Charlie, and [y/n] as a family. It doesn't sound so bad. It sounds amazing actually.
“Soon... I want to make sure that I am ready...” Lucifer says softly, his eyes looking at the woman who was happily conversing with a certain arachnid, chuckling softly as he notices her getting flustered. It might be because of what the arachnid has said to her.
Charlie smiled and nodded, “Take your time dad. You have all the time in the world.” she says softly and he nodded in agreement, “Indeed...”
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TAGLIST I: CLOSED
@selvyyr @leo4242564 @blushhpeachh @lunanight1021 @dvc4 @nehy019 @lu-ferri12 @lilteamushroom @froggybich @eddiemunson4ever @who-let-me-write-this @gurutan27 @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @hcneyiced @valerie-36 @jovialcat123 @b0nn1e @raeinn @wally-darling-hyperfixation @faefanatic @trashbin-nie @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @luleck @adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @hxzbinwrites @snoozewritezz @juskonutoh @mayhimouto513 @hcneyiced @koirb @viylikescats @ren-ren23 @kouyoumarryme @dou-dou @thatsquitepoggers
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maevesheart · 11 months ago
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only angel (2)
FINNICK ODAIR X FEM!READER
note: wasn’t originally planning on making a part two to this but it just seemed so unfinished??!?! and i love ruthless reader idk she’s a queen
summary: through your alliance with katniss, you and finnick rekindle some buried feelings.
wc: 5.2k
tw: violence, death, brutal!!reader, blood, allusions to forced prostitution
only angel (1)
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SEVEN YEARS EARLIER, THE 68TH HUNGER GAMES
Brutus and Enobaria sat in front of you and Mace, your district mate.
They reminded you of strategies that you had been taught your whole life, ensuring that as long as you two played into the Capitol’s hands, you’d get plenty of sponsors and come out alive.
Mace and you had never been close back home, but you saw him in the shopping centers, had some mutual friends. It was someone familiar, and even though your two mentors spent more time perfecting your wielding of knives and crocodile tears, you hoped Mace could somehow make it far in the games. Like you knew you would.
Enobaria and Brutus had introduced you to the various other Career Tributes, taking their time to butter up the other mentors, ensuring a ticket for your survival.
You were small compared to the other tributes, even the girl from Twelve was bigger than you.
But you trained, and you trained hard, showing off the various knife and sword tricks that had been engraved in your brain since you were a child.
Enobaria helped with your endurance, shocked by how fast you were. She had instructed you to not show that off to the other tributes, don’t give too much away.
After the private sessions with your mentors, you were stronger, faster, and more agile than Mace could even dream. You almost felt bad, the way Enobaria and Brutus were setting him up for death.
But, at the end of the day, only one can make it out alive.
Enobaria was strategic, determined for you to win. She instructed you to not show too many strengths in the private session with the Gamemakers, just enough to get a respectable score for someone from a Career District.
You followed her instructions to a tee, refusing to be one of the 23 fallen.
For the interviews, Ceasar laughed at your innocent comments and jokes, complimenting the head piece you wore, noting how it looked like a halo.
“Beautiful, like an Angel,” he smiled, the crowed cheering in agreement.
You giggled, smoothing down the uncomfortable golden dress they had sewn you into.
The crowd roared with your unwavering confidence, the arrogance paired with your baby-face and innocent smile was enough to send them into a fit of convivial.
It was just too easy.
The night before the games you had snuck out of the floor for Two, going up to the rooftop in hopes of having a moment to yourself.
You perched on the ledge, a small nightgown barely covering your shivering body.
You closed your eyes to relish in what could possibly be your last moments of peace, before being snapped from your trance by footsteps echoing.
You whipped around, teeth barring and senses on high alert. You were already acting like the wild animal Enobaria had been training you to be.
“Not in the arena just yet,” a smooth voice sounds out, a boy a few years older than you coming into view.
You recognized him as Finnick Odair. He had won a few years back, and was now returning as a mentor.
You ignored him, turning back to the outline of the Capitol.
He approached you slowly, leaning his body against the glass railing you were propped against.
You looked up to him, tired-eyes meeting his, somehow seemingly sparkling.
“Unfortunately,” you spoke, your mouth in a straight line. Enobaria had introduced you to him during the parade, but his tributes were not ally-material.
He laughed at your response. You stared at him, unamused.
“Feisty,” he smirked, watching you look away from him and back to the skyline.
“Not really in the mood to talk about my fate,” you said, his eyes still burning two holes into the side of your face.
His smile dropped slightly, having once been in your position himself.
He reminded himself you were only 15. A year older than he was when he won.
He had only won 3 years ago, and stood on this same rooftop. Looking out on the same city skyline.
Your peripheral vision caught him lean both his forearms onto the glass, shifting closer to you.
“Is it just as scary as it seems?” You ask. You were a child. A child that had been trained to hunt and kill. But deep down, you were just a scared kid. How would you kill all those people?
Finnick hums, acknowledging the same question that wracked his mind the nights before his games.
“It is,” he recognized your fear, but refused to give you false hope that it wouldn’t be as brutal as it truly is.
The words Enobaria had spoken to you earlier bounced around your brain, it’s just killing. Self-defense. All of it. Don’t be scared to kill someone who isn’t scared to kill you.
You let out a long breath, closing your eyes.
“I don’t want to die,”
It was quiet, but Finnick heard it, head perking up and turning to stare at you.
The role as a tribute was meant to bring great honor to someone from your district, but you were terrified. You were young, passionate. You had so much to give and so little time to give it all.
“Enobaria told me to hide my strengths, and I did. I’ll be able to kill them, once it comes down to it. But how will I live with myself?”
Finnick asked himself the same question everyday. How did he kill all those people? Sure, it was survival. Him or them. But how do you continue your life, pretending like you hadn’t murdered people on live national television?
“I—“ Finnick fell short, eyes still watching the side of your face.
“How do you cope with it all?” You finally turned to him, salty tears on your cheeks.
He knew you were preparing yourself for the inevitable. He had heard Enobaria boast about you, and had seen you in training. Other tributes would be frightened to get close to you.
He didn’t answer, swallowing thickly. You would soon understand, you would be in his position.
You choked out a sob, hands wrapping around your body.
He watched with wild eyes, before pulling you into his warm chest, head burrowing in his body.
You made no move to remove yourself from his body, and his arms were snug against your back.
“Kill as many as you can, as soon as you can. Then lay low, hunt. Don’t fall for any of that ally-bullshit.”
His voice was rushed, eyes filled with emotion. He felt for you, a scared child. He remembered his fear all too well.
You sniffled in his chest, hands balling at the thin fabric of his top.
And you listened to him.
In those next few hours, during the bloodbath, you killed two, both with knives to the chest. The Capitol citizens cheered as your face reflected the highest kill-count. You knew it was nothing to be proud of.
That next evening, while the rest of the Career pack slept, you stole the boy from One’s — Yves — backpack, shoving their weapons into it as quietly as possible.
Your small size came handy, being able to stealthily move around them, you were lucky the arena was a desert, sand not making a noise.
The girl from One — Aithon — began to lightly stir, and you knew it was now or never. Finnick’s words from the night before mixed with Enobaria’s, and that was all you needed to take a sword in each hand and take down the two tributes from One.
Their deaths were quick, the canons sounding out and Mace waking up, his laying figure looking up at you. Small but powerful.
You stood over his body, one foot on each of his arms, keeping him from reaching up to you.
His face twisted in confusion, looking over to the blood pouring from Yves and Aithon, each who had just been sleeping soundly next to him.
Your knife neared his face in milliseconds, and you had to force your arms down as he began to scream.
“I’m sorry,” was all you could whisper, guilt beginning to cloud your senses.
But you pushed past it, knowing you had to come out alive. No other option.
“Y/N! Please!”
And then there was silence.
He wasn’t anything special, but he was from home.
You held in tears as the canon sounded, running from the three as quickly as you could.
Whilst you hid behind one of the large cacti around the arena, Enobaria grinned as Capitol citizens celebrated her and you, her star tribute.
Finnick watched, heart tugging, knowing that he had encouraged the killings, he had told you to trust no one. And you had listened.
And from then on, you became the Capitol’s angel, their winged symbol of purity, despite the blood and deaths of many on your hands.
When Snow placed the crown on your head, you smiled, naively, and thanked the crowd. Thanked them for their donations, and their belief in you from the beginning.
But that’s all you were to them: a spectacle. A little girl who killed five in one day, a little girl who’s life had been dedicated to these games, to win. A little girl who would never get her purity back, never get to sleep without seeing Mace’s terrified face before she killed him.
He didn’t deserve it, none of them did. But it was life or death. And there was no way you were going to die.
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PRESENT DAY, THE THIRD QUARTER QUELL
Your group continued up to the Cornucopia, you and Finnick taking the tail.
Peeta and Finnick drew a map in the dark sand, you leaned against the side of the metal Cornucopia, Johanna plopping down next to you, and Katniss on your other side.
It all happened in a blur. One second, Wiress was singing her song about a mouse and the clock, and the next, Gloss was on top of her, knife straight into the heart.
Katniss’s arrow struck him, you grabbing your swords to get Cashmere who was standing behind him.
Finnick rushed after you. He knew you could take Cashmere, but what happened if Brutus appeared? Brutus had never been kind to you, and it was doubtful he would start now.
Your sword stuck Cashmere in the leg, and she screamed, falling onto the little amount of ground that the middle sector offered.
She turned over, knife in her left hand, grazing your ankle slightly. Luckily your stylist had dressed you in thicker socks; she had been an absolute idiot about most things, but at least she had your back in the arena.
Your thigh was still slightly burning with pain, but you pushed through it, sticking both your swords into Cashmere’s chest, a strangled gasp leaving her lips and her head falling back against the ground.
The canon sounded out, but you continued to pull your swords out and drive them back into her chest, more blood pouring out.
You were grunting now, mind hyper-aware of your actions, but refusing to stop.
You kept driving the sharp tools into her chest, her body slightly moving up when you retracted the metal, and then caving in as you pushed them back.
You weren’t going to die; you refused to.
Hands were on your shoulders, pulling you backwards, and you turned, swinging.
Finnick let go and backed away, hands held up. He knew you’d never hurt him, but once you’re in the killing mindset, it’s very hard to break it.
You dropped the weapons to your side, a long breath leaving your lips that you hadn’t realized you’d be holding in.
Finnick pulled you along with him, hand on your side as he brought you over to everyone else.
All of them were staring with wide eyes — besides Johanna of course.
Katniss knew you were brutal, but she didn’t realize how quickly you did turn into the angel of death. One second you were smiling, laughing at something Johanna had said.
Then your eyes were lit with a fire, teeth out, and running, faster than Katniss had ever seen someone move.
She had watched you kill Cashmere in seconds, continuing to drive the weapons into her, sounds of exasperation leaving your lips but you were unrelenting.
You felt like you were fifteen again, scared and angry, brutal to anyone who crossed your path. Your swordsmanship was uncanny, and Katniss dreaded the moment that she had to try and kill you.
And then the Cornucopia began to spin, extremely fast. You grabbed onto Finnick, a sword sucking down into the water, your other tight in the palm of your opposite hand.
You and Finnick fell to the ground, grabbing at the hard rocks to keep from flying to the water.
And then you heard Peeta scream Katniss’s name, and the two of you both yelled a loud, “shit!”
You pushed off the hard ground, crawling to the side of the island, hand reaching down to grab Johanna’s axe and try to hoist the two of them up.
You grunted, holding onto a small portion of the metal that wasn’t sharp. Your feet dug into the ground, sword shoved into the rock to keep you grounded.
You watched as Katniss went flying down, and then Johanna was on top of you, the two of you gasping for oxygen when the spinning stopped.
You and Johanna were back on your feet, rushing to help Katniss out of the water.
You all made your way back onto the sand, where it was relatively safe.
You discussed strategy, your fingers tracing different shapes into Finnick’s thigh.
“Who’s left then?” Katniss asked, eyes flickering between you and Johanna, the two of you having a conversation with your eyes.
“Brutus and Chaff, I think that’s all,” Peeta announced, all eyes shifting to you at the mention of your district-mate.
“I get Brutus,” you spoke clearly, eyes hard.
“Y/N…” Finnick spoke, hand smoothing down your arm.
“Just… I know him. I can handle it, I swear,”
He had helped train you, of course you would know his methods like the back of your hand. You had been seeking revenge for years, waiting for the day you could get him back.
What had the games done to you? Fantasizing about killing someone?
And then you were back there, back to the moment your life really ended.
You were dressed in clothes Snow had picked out, a hairstyle Snow had picked out, makeup Snow had picked out. You were his newest doll, malleable to his every demand.
It was your victory tour, and Enobaria and Brutus were accompanying you, helping you with speeches and coming to terms with your new life as a Capitol pet.
You were finishing up in the Capitol, the final destination. Snow had laid out his conditions for you: your pride and body now belonged to the Capitol, and with it, they could do what they pleased. Your company came with a high price.
He had threatened your family back in Two, describing in detail what would become of them if you didn’t comply with his wishes.
You had gone back to the train and told Enobaria and Brutus, eyes spilling hot tears when Enobaria pulled you into her arms, hands stroking your hair. At least she was kind.
Brutus, however, was not.
His boisterous laugh rang off the walls of the train, your eyes peeking out from Enobaria’s embrace to glare at him.
“Let me know when you start, sweetheart,” he smirked, a scowl overtaking your features.
You had been waiting to get him back, to show him that weren’t a little slave for his disposal. Finnick understood your rage, more than any other person could.
He wanted to kill Brutus just as badly as you did.
No one else asked any questions, and for that you were grateful.
And then the screaming started, and you jumped to your feet, eyes frantic and scanning the area.
Whoever it was, they were screaming for Katniss, and rather brutally as well.
And off she took. You were the fastest, so you caught her first, arms around her shoulders to steady her, but she kept moving, screaming back to the voice.
She stopped abruptly, and shot an arrow into a large black bird that was flying over your heads.
The screaming stopped immediately. And then it began again, this time, it was the voice of Mace. And you felt the blood drain from your entire body, legs suddenly shaking and threatening to go out.
The words he had screamed to you before you had slit his throat were wrapping around your body, swallowing you whole.
“Y/N! Please! Y/N!” You were running then, the screaming getting louder and louder, tears streaming down your face as you tried to escape it; the horror that would haunt you forever.
“It’s not real, they’re jabberjays!” Katniss assured you, running behind you, trying to catch up.
You saw Finnick and Johanna’s faces ahead through your blurry vision, and you sped up, Finnick’s arms wide for you to run into.
But it was a force field, and you collided right into it, falling to the ground in a heap of tears and painful memories.
You covered your ears, head digging into the ground to stop the noise, but it wouldn’t stop. You wailed, and Finnick was hitting the force field, which he was standing on the direct other side, but there was no avail.
He was screaming for you, to look at him, listen to his voice. But the field was soundproof, and he had to watch with a heavy heart as you sobbed, the sounds of the person you betrayed all those years ago the only thing you could focus on.
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Finnick’s hands were all over you, smoothing down your hair, checking your face, helping you stand.
Peeta was doing the same with Katniss, the both of you having tear-stains down your cheeks and dirt smudged into your cheeks.
You were frozen solid, eyes big and wide, legs slightly shaking. You had never felt worse about something than what you did to Mace that dreadful night. His screams haunted your dreams, and to have the Gamemakers play into that weakness reminded you just who the real enemy is.
“Y/N, look at me,” Finnick’s hands were on the sides of your face, pulling you closer to his protective figure.
“It wasn’t real. It wasn’t him,” he shook his head lightly, your lips still quivering from fear.
You could only muster the strength to simply nod, telling him that you knew, but the Gamemakers were cruel, so cruel, and they had hit you right where it hurt.
Just as you were beginning to regain your usual automatic-kill mindset, a small box flew down, straight into your hands.
Everyone gathered around you, curious as to what could’ve been sent.
You knew Enobaria would have your back, and considering the sponsors this year were based upon what you had left over from your games, you were lucky. You had a large pot of donations under your name, not needing much assistance when you were in your first games.
You screwed off the top, being met with a small vile of Crave Cure, the very concoction that she had sent you during your games. It came with a note reading: remember who the real enemy is. I’m always rooting for you. - Baria
That assured you of Enobaria’s stance, likely scheming with Haymitch and Plutarch behind the scenes, ensuring your protection by Thirteen.
Finnick smiled next to you, Johanna calling out with happiness.
“Finally!” Johanna cheered, axe thrust into the air.
You even broke a smile, suddenly distracted from the traumatic experience you had just endured.
You looked up, seeing the confused looks on Katniss and Peeta’s faces.
They would’ve never heard of Crave Cure, it was the most expensive thing a mentor could send their tribute, and required many sponsors. It was usually only sent to the Careers, both you and Finnick had received it during your games.
“Crave Cure,” you spoke, Katniss’s eyes meeting yours.
“One drop on your tongue and it cures hunger for 12 hours,” you smiled to them, picking up the vile.
“Enobaria is a saint,” Johanna spoke, watching as you dropped a tiny bit of the brown liquid onto your tongue, a content sigh escaping your lips.
Beetee went next, then Finnick and Johanna.
Katniss and Peeta stood awkwardly to the side, not knowing to approach or not.
“Oh, enough of that! We’re allied, aren’t we? Take a drop,” you urged, placing the vile into her hands.
Peeta nodded, and that seemed to be all the convincing Katniss needed before mimicking your action and gagging when she tasted the fluid.
You laughed at her expression, a light-hearted tease. “Not the best, but it does do its job,”
You figured you had really won her trust, considering how she walked next to you during the hike to the big tree.
The two of you talked about your families back home. You complimented her dedication, to protect her little sister.
She had killed your Cato and Clove; the two you had spent hours coaching, assuring they’d be okay in the end. Words you had needed so badly during your games.
Through talking with Katniss, you realized no one deserved to win as much as she did. She was selfless, willing to sacrifice herself for both her sister and Peeta, placing herself as a protector, not a victim.
And then the peace you had all been building crashed down, Katniss suddenly retreating from the trust you all had built after Beetee offered she go with you and Johanna.
“Why can’t Johanna and Y/N go? I’ll protect you with Peeta,” she spoke, and you met Finnick’s gaze. You read the fear in his eyes, knowing this the was now or never moment.
“Katniss,” you spoke, hands resting on her shoulders.
“You know who the true enemy is,” you whispered, holding her intense eye-contact.
Her eyes softened at your words, everything seemingly clicking into place. With a nod, you grabbed her hand, and pulled her with you and Johanna.
A look over your shoulder to Finnick, and a nod. Your eyes said it all: I love you. I’ll see you soon, once we are safe and out of the Capitol’s hands.
You and Johanna halted your movements, stopping Katniss as you did.
“Stay down,” Johanna instructed Katniss, grabbing her arm.
“What-“ Katniss was about to scream, and you could not let that happen.
You grabbed her face with your hands, eyes frantic for her faith.
“You can trust us,” you whispered, barely loud enough for the cameras to pick up on.
But the raw emotion in your eyes calmed Katniss, giving Johanna the opportunity to cut the tracker out, Katniss’s arm beginning to bleed heavily.
“It’s alright,” you soothed her, your arm out to Johanna, waiting for the inevitable sear of pain.
And then it came, and you placed your body over Katniss’s not allowing her to get up and try to attack.
But then you spotted Brutus over the rock, his hard eyes staring straight into yours.
“Y/N,” Johanna warned, watching the familiar fire begin to brew.
You were up in seconds, sword in one hand, knife in the other, running up the rocky hill. The pain in your arm was masked by the rush of adrenaline you ran high off, killing spree — if you will.
Johanna grunted in anger, but she knew not to expect anything different from you.
“Do not move,” she instructed Katniss, picking up her axe to follow you.
You had reached Brutus quickly, pouncing onto his back and driving your sword straight through his abdomen.
He cried out in pain, blood soon coating your legs that wrapped around his waist.
You pulled the sword out, taking the knife to his neck. He was dead in seconds, the familiar canon sounding throughout the arena.
After registering what you had done, images of Katniss flooded your mind and you internally cursed yourself, rushing back to the spot you had left her and Johanna.
Johanna was back to your side, but Katniss was no where to be seen.
“Fuck!” You cursed, sprinting back towards the tree where Beetee, Finnick, and Peeta were.
She had likely gone back to protect Peeta and kill Finnick, and you were not about to let that happen.
Johanna tried to keep up with you; but even with a gushing arm and slit leg, you were fast. Much faster than anyone else.
“Finnick!” You screamed, feet pounding against the hard ground, propelling you towards the tree, where you watched Katniss aim her arrow straight at Finnick’s head.
Beetee was on the ground, and you crouched, feeling for his pulse. His heart was still beating and you hovered over him protectively, in case Katniss decided to turn around and fire at you too. Which seemed very likely.
You watched as Finnick said something to Katniss, obviously resonating with her, the bow slightly lowering.
“Johanna! Give me your arm!” You swung around, panic-struck and searching for the familiar face.
And you saw her a few feet below, trying to climb the vines you had mounted with ease.
You looked between Finnick and her, torn as to which to try and protect. You knew Finnick would hold his own, so you turned back around and began to move for Johanna, quick feet avoiding possible injuries.
But just as you were in grabbing-distance of her, Finnick’s voice rang out, screaming, “Get away from that tree!”
A crack of something echoed around you, and you turned wildly, trying to figure out what had just happened.
Then you understand what Finnick had meant, a loud crack of lightening rained down and sent you flying, reaching for Johanna as you flew past her, her terrified eyes meeting yours.
The last thing you remembered was being pulled up into the air by a large claw, head and limbs limp as you were hoisted up; sword still secure in your palm, a protection habit you had picked up since your games. You always needed to be armed, after all, life was the arena.
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You awoke to the sound of a heart monitor, steady beeping lightly calming your high-alert nerves.
You winced sitting up, large bandages wrapped around your forearm and thigh.
You inspected your surroundings, two empty mats in front of you, and Katniss sleeping to your left.
You stood, hushed voices on the other side of the door that reached the ceiling of the craft you were on.
You looked for a weapon of sorts, not willing to go in unarmed. On the other side of the empty room was your sword, glimmering and coated in blood.
You walked over to it, legs sore and aching, the familiar metal calming against your palm.
The door immediately opened as you approached it, Haymitch and Plutarch’s widening as they spotted your weapon of choice clutched in your ruthless hands.
But it dropped to the floor with a loud clatter when your tired eyes met Finnick’s, a relieved smile coming over your features.
You rushed to him, throwing yourself into his arms. His lips met yours halfway, melting into his strong hold around your body.
The two of you fit together perfectly, like you had been made in the same mold.
Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him tighter to your already close bodies.
You poured all your pent up feelings into the kiss, all the feelings you had suppressed since the fight that had ended your relationship.
It was the most relaxed you had been in the whole week, since your name was plucked from the bowl of living victors.
His lips moved against yours as he squeezed your hips, hands feeling everything they could, to ensure that it was in fact you, and you were alive and safe in front of him.
You pulled a part, a grin across your small face.
He smiled back, but your bliss was interrupted from the clearing of a throat behind you. You spun around, eyes meeting the expectant ones of Haymitch, Plutarch, and Beetee.
The look on your face said it all. And Haymitch nodded, validating all the thoughts that had been running through your head.
You were safe, headed for the secret hideout of Thirteen. All was okay.
You almost began to laugh thinking about how the Capitol would react, their Angel and Darling being two of the biggest conspirators in a rebellion. How ironic.
And Katniss was on the ship, you had successfully carried out your tasks.
“Where’s Johanna?” You asked, a smile still dotting your face.
Finnick’s composure broke, and your heart dropped, realizing the obvious.
“No, no, no, no,” you began to back away, spine hitting the hard metal of the table.
“I went after Brutus, I didn’t cut the tracker… fuck! Oh my god, Finnick, oh god,” you began to dry-heave, accepting her capture as your fault.
Finnick’s hands were on your biceps, steadying you and pulling you back into his chest.
“Johanna and Peeta are in the Capitol,” Plutarch spoke, your worst fears being confirmed.
“It’s all my fault,” you groaned, head in your hands. You had killed, hunted, and tortured. But the idea of a friend’s death being on your hands hurt more than any of those ever did.
Haymitch spoke reassuring words behind you, but Finnick’s hold and the idea of betraying Johanna was all you could focus on.
How would she forgive you? Was she alive? How would you ever cope if she wasn’t, and it was all your fault? Of course, you let the murderer take over, and went after Brutus.
Finnick’s arms soothed down your back, keeping your grounded as you were flooded with grief, with the heavy weight of betrayal.
Johanna and you were close friends, you were supposed to protect each other in the games. She had protected you, always by your side, and you neglected to do the same.
“We’re going to try and rescue them as soon as we can,” Haymitch said, even though you all knew that might be an impossible task.
And then Finnick slipped his hand into yours, fingers curling around yours and softly rubbing your knuckles.
You composed yourself, closing your eyes as you took in a deep breath, regaining focus on just your interlocked hands. Finnick always knew how to relax you.
All you had wanted initially was to get out of this quarter quell alive, to return home to your big mansion and family. To hug them again, to prove to the Capitol that they could take everything from you, but they couldn’t kill you.
But now, you realized that all had been in vain. Where you really belonged was here, holding hands with Finnick, discussing how you were going to break your friends from the Capitol’s mean grip.
You’d die for him, for them. You’d flap your wings once more to ensure they’d all live.
When Katniss first volunteered for Primrose, you hadn’t understood how she would sacrifice her life for another.
But now you knew, and you knew you’d do it too.
You finally had something to live for, someone you loved, who understood all that you had gone through better than anyone else.
Life was the arena, and if it came down to it, you knew the angel would sacrifice herself for the darling.
**
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azsazz · 1 month ago
Text
Evening Roost
ACOTAR Omegaverse Week Day 1: Cassian x Reader [Nesting]
Summary: This was supposed to be for omegaverse x acotar day 1 but now it just is. Prompt was: Surely there’s a perfectly normal, completely unsuspicious reason they’re feeling an irresistible urge to arrange and rearrange the blankets and pillows…. right?
Anon Req: for omegaverse day 1, I could so see reader spending AGES every year to make a nest, only for cassian to destroy it within like two minutes every heat cycle bc he's too distracted by his mate and excited to pay attention to little things like that ... and one year reader gets mad and is like "you're not f*cking me in here until you're not a threat to its structural integrity" and cassian is very regretful & apologizes & makes it up to her by making her cum until she can't think straight ...? (if you don't like this prompt feel free to ignore it this was just an idea ... also I'm a big fan of your work & I'm excited you're writing more!!) 🩷🩷
And also fulfills anon reqs : Not sure if you’re taking requests but could you write an omega/alpha fic with Cassian where reader is in heat? Love your writing! —and—Heyyyy! Once your requests might be free, can you do a Omegaverse heat fic but with Cassian, something with both angst and some spicy smut?
Warnings: Smut, dom/sub dynamics, light breeding kink.
Word Count: 2640
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“And…perfect,” you sigh, smiling contently to yourself as you shift the last pillow into place. Sitting back on your haunches, you admire the nest you spent the entirety of the week building, piled high and far away from where anyone can see it. Or touch it. 
Namely, your mate.
Yes, Cassian is everything you want in an alpha and more: muscle upon muscle that he uses unabashedly to carry you around, to throw you over his shoulder when you’re pouting and grumbling when you should really be riding his cock. Or when he smacks your ass with that rough, calloused hand of his, the one you’d like stuck right between your legs right now.
You shift, biting your lip as you rub your thighs together, eliciting a sensation you know all too well, a flood of warmth pooling deeply between them.
Your heat has been building for a few days now, as if waiting for the perfect moment to appear. Your body must have sensed that Cassian’s rut was on its way as well, forcing your body to respond to your alpha’s scent. You’ve been feeling the familiar discomfort of your oncoming cycle, irritable to anyone who wasn’t Cassian, sensitive to sounds and smells, especially blood, and feeling like your body is always just a little bit too hot. 
Which is why you’ve been patiently awaiting the other paw to drop, busying yourself by building the perfect nest. It has taken careful meandering and pawning of objects from throughout your home: a cord of leather that Cassian had taken out of his damp hair before climbing into the tub with you last night, the worn scabbard of one of his knives, a day old shirt that hadn’t been used for sparring, and another one that had.
In the corner of your closet, you sit, burrowing deeply into the fabrics and reveling in the scents of your mate. The mead he drank until he was dizzy still lingers from where he’d sweat it out the night after. The lingering scent of his soap, brash and heady and all male. The faint tinge of your juices from where they’d gotten on the sheets, the ones you hadn’t allowed anyone to clean, to touch when he fucked you into them two nights prior.
It feels like a secret, you think as you smile into the dark. All the way at the back of the expansive closet, nestled between hanging clothes and boots, nestled beside training boots and hidden weapons should you ever need them. It’s the perfect place, the perfect size for someone like you, an omega blissfully waiting for her alpha to fall into the throes of his rut.
“Little omega,” Cassian sing-songs. You hear the door to your bedroom opening and closing with a quick snap and your anticipation spikes. The heat between your thighs grows as your body goes hot. There’s a keen alertness to his voice that makes your stomach fill with butterflies, your cunt drench with need.
His rut is here.
“Where are you?” He wonders aloud, and a bolt of thrill zips up your spine at the thought of this game you have the chance to play. Hunter and prey. How he’s going to sniff you out like the depraved man he is, capture you and bend you over this pile of goods to take you long and hard and hot, just the way you both need. You know that within minutes you’ll be succumbing to the full effects of your heat, your body attuned so beautifully to his rut.
You eagerly await your mate's arrival.
You can hear it the moment he catches a whiff of your scent. The low growl has you clenching your thighs, sending your heartbeat galloping. What follows is what makes you want to moan, to give your spot away to him, to bare yourself to your alpha and have him claim you over and over and over again.
The bite mark on your throat pulses as the sound of his belt hits the floor, his weapons soon following. The dull thud of their sheaths are each a throb to your clit. You don’t need to imagine how perfect his body moves as he prowls closer to the door, already knowing that each muscle of his is coiled tight with the same anticipation you’re feeling. It zips down the bond, flooding your body with a pleasurable feeling. 
The closet door cracks wider and you only get a glimpse of those hazel eyes—all pupils with the untamed actions of a rut—before he lunges inside.
It’s tight with the both of you in here. Cassian’s fingers claw at your clothes, and it’s not a tear that can be sewed up like new to be worn another day. No, this is Cassian shredding your clothes into strips, buttons flying off of fabric and clicking against the walls. It’s the delicate lace of your panties he tears off with his teeth, wrapping the remnants around his wrist like he’s won himself a new bracelet. You love that he’s so desperate for you, but he’s being careless, dislodging items in your nest that were perfectly built while he scrambles to expose your body, more than ready to ravage you for this week-long cycle. 
You cry out at the feeling of Cassian’s sharp teeth nipping at your shoulder when you try to shove him off. You’re all too aware of how he’s displacing your pristine nest, the one you hadn’t hardly wanted him in in the first place because of this very reason.
He always destroys it.
“Cassian!” You shout, and only then does it seem to cut through the haze he’s already giving into. He pulls back quicker than an asp, fear a dark ring around his eyes as he stares down at you.
“Did I hurt you, mate?” He questions, frantically looking you over. His fingers trace your skin and your body buzzes in response. But as you look at your nest, now a mere mess of twisted blankets and skewed knick-knacks, your heart plummets and your brows draw together, your eyes prickling with tears.
“No, you didn’t hurt me physically,” you say, throat tight. Cassian frowns, not quite understanding until you gesture to the mess around you. “I know what it’s like to submit to the rut grating through your bones right now,” you speak quietly, enough for him to grasp your feelings. “But you wreck my nest every time you have a rut. Even during my heats. A burrow that is sacred to me, and should be to you too. It’s one of the only places I feel safe—” The other being in his arms.  “—When I’m going through a heat. And I want you there, mate, I need you there, but not if you’re going to ruin my hard work.”
You watch the regret lance his eyes, but before he can say anything, you’re continuing, fighting through the wetness coating your throat, ignoring the wetness coating your thighs.
“I’m sorry, my love,” Cassian leans forward, caressing your cheek. You allow it, lean into it even, but you will not continue with this rut until you feel fully at peace and comfortable to do so. “Please, what can I do?”
“Fix it,” you murmur, almost helplessly. There’s a hollowness to your chest that may be heightened by the effects of your oncoming heat, but right now it feels like you’ve lost something greater than a pile of blankets. You’d feel embarrassed, almost, if you were more clear-minded. “You won’t be fucking me in here until you’re not a threat to its structural integrity.” 
You watch Cassian’s throat bob, his cock twitch at your demands, a pretty pearl of precum making its presence known. You quirk an eyebrow, trying very carefully to keep your face stern, shoving back the teary sensations as you tear your gaze from the sight of his leaking cock.
He likes it when you make demands of him? 
You tuck that thought away for later.
“Of course,” Cassian agrees vehemently, already reaching for the first blanket.
You shuffle out of the way. It’s difficult in the space of the closet, now that you’re trapped inside with your behemoth of an alpha who trapezes around as he begins his work. The air is hot and thick already, your forehead is dewey with sweat. You might be regretting building your nest in the closet sooner rather than later. 
You find yourself wondering if you can convince Cassian to move the entire nest later, if he’ll make it just as perfect as this one.
“And Cassian?” You ask, waiting for him to turn. When you have his full attention, you allow your fingers to drift up your bare stomach to your peaked nipples, pinching and rubbing at them. Cassian growls in response and your cunt clenches at the sound. You nearly tell him to forget it and take you up against the racks of clothes instead. “For every item you perfectly fix, is the number of times we’re going to cum together.”
It’s a futile promise at best. Once the both of you succumb to your respective heat and rut, there will be no counting. There won’t be anything but the primal urge to fuck and breed, the both of you cumming more times than you could even imagine. There have been times when the lust was so consuming, you hardly remember anything besides the pleasure Cassian stoked into you, pumping you so full of his seed your stomach bloated with it. How he fucked you on his knot again and again until he fucked himself into a blacking out.
Your mate growls and nods eagerly. The breath whooshes out of his chest as he turns away, snatching a pillow that had fallen from the pile. You know that he’ll never get your nest back to how you had it, that he hadn’t taken a single glance at your work before crashing into it like a bull in a china shop, but you’re more distracted by the curve of that toned ass on display, his cock hanging heavy between those glorious thighs, dragging over one of the blankets and leaving a line of precum in its wake. You watch, entranced by his strong shoulders and wings, how they glide under his tan skin like butter.
“A little to the left,” you advise when Cassian turns to look at you after placing a discarded sheath in place, an expectant look on his face. You bite your lip to hold in the delightful purr that rages in your veins as he follows your command.
“Like this?”
“Perfect, mate,” you agree, taking one step closer. Your fingers smooth down your body, dipping between your legs because with the way he’s perched on his knees for you, you need some sort of stimulation or you’re going to pounce on him. Cassian’s eyes zero in on the movement, iris’ consumed by the black of his pupil. His nostrils flare at the scent leaking from your thighs.
Cassian begins to work even faster.
“Cassian?” You question when your body plunges right over the edge into want. Your heat slams into you full force, and all you crave is to be laid in that nest of yours, built by both of your hands, and give yourself to your alpha.
He hums, peeking over at you. He’s almost done, almost has it perfect, and then he’s going to be mounting you so fast that you won’t even know what hit you. His cock is leaking all over your nest, eager for your cunt to bury itself home in. All he can think about is how he hopes you don’t mind the mess he’s leaving behind while trying to clean up his other one. 
Every muscle in his body reacts to the scent that’s emanating from you. His cock is thick and hard, swollen and ready. He’s going to knot you within the first two strokes, he can already feel it, can imagine the way your cunt will swallow him eagerly, milking him desperately, latching for a pup. He’ll make it up to you though, he can promise that, because Cassian has days and he can be a very inventive male when he wants to be.
When he blinks the haze from his eyes, pupils finally settling their attention on you, you breathe, “It’s great, alpha. But one thing is missing.” 
Cassian frowns, his thick brows pulling tight in confusion. “What’s that, love?”
“It’s missing me.”
That’s all the invitation he needs. You shriek at his speed, the strength that he uses, wrapping an arm around your waist and hauling you back into the nest. 
You land with a breathless laugh that melts into a needy keen when Cassian splays your legs wide for him and licks a fat stripe up your cunt. You both shiver, you at the feeling of his wet tongue, and him at your taste.
“I won’t last,” he admits, but neither of you care when he pumps himself into you in one long stroke. Your body melts into the blankets and pillows beneath you, feeling so full. You could live like this forever, you think, Cassian’s cock buried deep inside of you, the warmth it provides, the pleasure, it’s all too much.
“Me…neither,” you pant, crying out when he hits your cervix. Fuck, he’s going to put a pup in you by the end of the week. Maybe a whole litter. You can feel it this time. “Fuck, Cassian! You feel so good!”
“You feel like heaven, mate,” he growls back. His breath is hot on your throat, his sharp teeth grazing your skin. It lights your body up like a star and your eyes roll into the back of your head, nails scratching down his back as the feeling builds. “You are my heaven. The stars in my sky and the breath in my lungs. You’re—fuck,” he chokes, quickening his thrusts. “You’re fucking mine.”
Cassian’s fingers slide between your bodies as he slams his mouth against yours. He’s devouring you in more ways than one, and when he starts circling his fingers against your throbbing clit—not too hard and not too soft, just fucking perfect like he always does, even when he’s lost in the throes of his heat—you cum.
You gush, even, and then Cassian’s cumming too, releasing with a growl that shakes the house built into the mountain. You wouldn’t be surprised if the noise causes a landslide.
He pulses inside of you, thick, hot ribbons of cum filling you. His knot grows with each pump, with each spurt, until you’re whimpering with overstimulation, writhing against his body. Cassian doesn’t let up, he’s still going, grinding down on you until there are tears in your eyes, until his incessant rubbing onto your clit turns from sensitive to all out wanting again. You chase that orgasm, jerking your hips against his until you’re drowning in the sensations of it again, until you’re drowning in the feeling of his cum stuffing you full.
Cassian watches you with rapt attention. Waits until you’ve calmed. Opened those pretty eyes. Then, does he cradle you in his arms and roll onto his back, letting you rest against his chest to catch your breath. He wipes the hair from your face, brushes the dampness across your forehead and kisses it tenderly, before dipping down to capture your lips sweetly. This is only the first of the orgasms you’ll both share, and it might not have lasted long, but it rocked your world entirely.
You blink up at him sleepily, moan a little when you feel his cock throb with another squirt of cum. 
“Rest now, mate,” he says gently, and the rumble of his voice is a lullaby all its own. “I’ll be keeping you up for many nights to come.”
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weird-is-life · 5 months ago
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hey lovie! what about a remus x reader where he sees her asleep in the back of the library one evening on his prefect rounds and he wakes her up. he is more concerned on how long she’s been studying/asleep since it’s so late…on their walk she just walks with him during his rounds because they are just chatty
they both fancy each other but neither of them think the other thinks the same. he walks her back to gryf tower snd he finally says what he’s wanted to say for years
(i hope that makes sense and if ya hate the idea, no problemo lol)
xoxo
Hii lovely🥰 ty for the request. I tried my best, hope this is okay. Warnings: fluff, use of y/n, like one swear word, (0.9k)
Remus has seen you many times before. Either in the common room, halls, dining room, and the most in the library.
Remus always sees you in the library. Sitting quietly more at the back of the room. Either reading some book or doing the assignments for the classes.
So it's no surprise to see you here even now. But it definitely catches him off guard seeing you here so so late. Remus was on the last one of his prefect rounds before heading to bed himself, and he wasn't expecting to see you in the library.
Remus, from a shorter distance, notices that you are asleep. Softly exhaling one breath after another. Something stirs in Remus's heart at the sight of you, but he ignores it.
Remus approaches you, and tries to wake you up as nicely as he can. He doesn't want to scare you. He gently shakes you by your shoulder, and whispers your name a few times.
You rouse from sleep, blinking,  completely baffled by Remus's handsome face.
Remus thinks you are even more cute when you are half asleep. It's not doing any favors to his feelings for you. But he wills those thoughts away, and says, "sorry, y/n. You fell asleep in the library, and it's getting pretty late."
The sleep haze quickly dissappears when you realise where you are. You are up on your feet in a matter of seconds, packing your things away.
"Shit. I'm sorry. I was reading, and-and I must have fallen asleep," you explain in a mild panic. You would be in a lot of trouble if it was anybody else other than Remus that had found you here. Students aren't allowed out of their dorms this late at night.
"It's alright," Remus reassures you with a warm smile," I've done that so many times. I can't even count how many times James or Sirius had to walk down here to retrieve me."
"Really?" you giggle quietly, still very much sleepy and a little stressed.
"Yeah, really," Remus chuckles, too. "Now c'mon, let's get you to your dorm. I'll walk you there. Well, that is if you don't mind."
You shake your head. Indicating that you don't mind at all. Your cheeks go pretty pink as Remus and you start to walk towards the dorms.
You've always thought that Remus was so handsome, and so so smart. You'd never done anything about your crush, of course. Too scared to say anything. But that doesn't mean you haven't been admiring him. You have just-........from afar.
"Why were you in the library so late?" Remus asks to fill in the awkward quiet between you. And also he's a bit worried about you staying there until so late.
"Just studying, I couldn't figure out one assignment," you sigh. You still haven't figured it out, even if you stayed in the library for so many hours.
"The one for the potions?"
"Yeah," you admit in defeat," I've read everything I possibly could, but still i didn't find the answer."
Remus gives you a hesitant smile. You two are just a few steps from the dorms. You were walking too long in the awkward silence, and now the flowing conversation is about to end.
"I can give you the answer. I'll give it to you right away if you give me a second to look for it in my room," Remus instantly offers.
He's spent good few hours trying to find the answer too, so he understands how frustrating it can get. So he's very willing to give you the answer just so you don't go to bed with that on your mind. And also because he likes you, like a lot, and he would give you literally anything if you'd asked for it. He's down that bad for you.
"Really? I would really appreciate it, Remus," you say, happy about his help. You can't even think of how you could possibly thank him for it.
"Just give me a second," he turns towards his dorm, but he suddenly freezes halfway to the door.
Remus abruptly gets a better idea or well it depends on how well it goes. He just can't help his feelings for you any longer, and he needs to know what you feel, too. Even if he may get rejected, and end up with a broken heart.
Remus slowly turns around to face you again, a shy smile on his face.
"Or-r," he starts," we could go to Hogsmeade during the weekend, and I could explain it to you there. With something nice to eat and drink." Remus blurts it out in one breath.
Your eyes go very wide. Is Remus Lupin asking you out on a date or are you still very much asleep in the library, dreaming of this moment?
"L-like a date?" you sheepishly ask, blushing, and looking everywhere but him after your question.
"Yes. Exactly like a date." Remus states, looking nervous and hopeful at the same time.
You look up at him with a smile, you can't really believe that this is happening, " I think, I'd love that."
"Really?" Remus questions happily.
"Yes, really," you nod your head, sending a reassuring smile his way.
"Great. I can't wait," he tells you with a visible excitement.
"Me too," you admit bashfully.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow. We can sort out the time then. Goodnight, y/n," Remus says, giving you one more soft smile of his.
"Yes, tomorrow then. Goodnight to you too, Remus," you wave him goodbye, and quickly dissappear into your dorm before you can collapse on the spot from the way your legs have turned to jello.
You think you can hear pretty loud cheers of the Marauders as you head to change into your pyjamas. A shy giggle escapes your mouth when you think about Remus telling his best mates about your date, and them being so happy about it.
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familyvideostevie · 1 year ago
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steel drum weight of me
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joel miller x fem!reader, 18+ mdni
summary: joel comes back from his wall shift with hands in need of some serious tlc. but why stop there? | 3.2k
warnings: fem!reader, fluff turned to smut, a tender blowjob, p in v sex, unprotected sex, riding, creampie
a/n: this could be in the same universe as come care about me and watching you with wonder but who knows. what matters is it's a post-part i jackson au and all is well. this is my first fic in a while and i hammered it out today so hopefully it's coherent. <3 series masterlist here.
__
Jackson looks its best in the winter.
You've always thought so with its endless skies gone white, blending in with the grey clouds carrying the constant threat of snow. The peaks you never tire of, such ethereal beauty in a world otherwise gone to shit, looming over town with a steadfastness that you can fool yourself into thinking means protection, means safety. In reality, they're just something nice to look at when you have a free moment.
It's also fucking cold.
But you can deal with that. You've spent more winters in the last twenty years than you'd like to remember mostly outside, freezing your ass off, fingers so numb you could barely pull the trigger. But when it counted, you did.
Winter now means a town full of children laughing and having snowball fights. It means big pots of stew and your pick of hats, scarves, and a good pair of boots. It means a warm house to go back to every night, a bed to crawl into, and a man you love to hold you.
Things could be worse.
You're home first today. Joel and Ellie are on the wall and have been since mid-morning. The light is already going, the sun dipping behind the Tetons, sky that winter mix of purple and pink that makes the breath catch in your throat no matter how many times you see it. There's a flu going around and taking people out for a few days at most but it means fewer bodies free for the wall and for patrol. You're pulling a double tomorrow and you're already looking forward to the hot bath you'll take after.
Today, though, you change from your work clothes to something softer, a sweater that travels between your drawer and Joel's, thick socks Dina gave you for your birthday last year. It's hard to heat houses like yours the way you used to but it works well enough to fight the chill so long as you layer. That's the name of the game these days: adapting.
You set the kettle to boil and forgo thinking about dinner for a few hours. Joel won't drink tea with you but if Ellie stops by she'll have some. Maybe you can convince her to watch the movie you pulled from the library this week. You love him, but Joel just doesn't appreciate comedies.
The front door creaks, the bell you have hanging from the doorknob jingling.
"S'me," Joel calls into the house. "You home?"
"Making tea." The kettle isn't steaming yet so you lean against the counter and wait.
The sounds of his return are familiar even though you can't see him. He locks the door with a click, shrugs his jacket off with a sigh. He sits down on the bench you put in the entryway so he can take his boots off. The thunk of one and then the other. He'll tuck them next to yours under the coat rack. When the weather is bad you try to come in the back door so not as to track snow through the house but you don't want his back to get any worse so a bench in front makes sense.
The kettle screams. You pull it off quick and pour the water into your mug -- a chipped green one with a dinosaur holding a cookie that you find endlessly amusing -- and leave it to steep. The floor creaks under your socked feet as you make your way into the hall. Joel still sits on the bench digging into the meat of one palm with his thumb like he's working the feeling back into them.
He looks up and his jaw softens a little. His cheeks are rosy from the cold and his hair a mess from the wind. "Evenin," he says.
"How was the wall?"
"Fine." He stops messing with his hands and rolls his shoulders back with a grunt. "Ellie swears she saw a moose on her last patrol. Said to tell you. I think she's fuckin' with me. How was your shift?"
"Fine," you echo. "Is she coming for dinner?"
He shakes his head. "Game night at Jesse's."
You cross the remaining distance between you and he parts his legs automatically so you can stand between his knees. You run a hand through his hair, pushing the greying fringe back from his eyes. He looks up at you and finally smiles, just a little. You drag your hand down the side of his face and enjoy the feel of his beard on your skin.
"Maybe she did see a moose." He rolls his eyes and brings a hand up to cover yours. You lean down to kiss him but something catches your eye and you pull back, tugging your hand from beneath his to circle his wrist.
"Jesus, Joel." He makes a surprised sound.
"Hey now, what --"
You pull his other hand from his knee and hold them both close to your face, turning them over in the light of the entryway. "You didn't wear gloves, did you?"
He just shrugs. That means someone else on the wall -- probably Ellie -- forgot theirs and he handed his own over.
The skin of his knuckles is dry and cracked, the rest of his palm dry and cold to the touch. You've seen them bloody, broken and bruised, and compared to that, this is tame. Welcome, almost. But you know he won't do a damn thing about it, let himself bleed rather than take a second to make things better.
And you've never minded this part. Taking care of him, making him slow down and rest for even just a little bit. You both know you'd get your hands dirty or worse for him and he for you, but this is the part he has trouble with. So you take the reigns.
It's part of how you fit together -- part of how you look after each other.
"We've got something for this." Joel looks unamused. You press a light kiss to one of his knuckles and his nostrils flare. "Go sit on the couch," you say.
"I'm fine --"
"Joel, they'll bleed if you don't let me --"
"I said I'm --"
"Hey," you say. He hears the finality of your tone and lets you have it, sighing your name in one long breath.
"Alright," he says. "Move, then."
You press a quick kiss to his lips and release his hands to step back. He stands with his usual grunt and you have to stop yourself from leaning into the width of him, from wrapping your arms around him and slotting your nose in his neck and never letting go.
"It's that salve Dina brought over last week," you tell him. "The new one for the winter. Smells nice. Good for this kind of stuff."
Joel makes his way to the couch and you fetch the tin from the kitchen.
"What's it made of?"
"Uh -- oil? And some flowers, I think? Wax, maybe."
He's settled into the cushions when you return, smirking. "It's okay to say you don't fuckin' know."
You sit next to him and unscrew the top, folding your legs so you're facing him. "Well then, I don't fuckin' know." You're sure to imitate his drawl.
"Cute."
"Gimme those hands, big guy."
The salve smells faintly of lavender and it's cold on your fingertips. Joel extends his right hand and you work it into his skin slowly, extra careful around where it's cracked and split. You feel his eyes on you but you let him look.
"Feels good, huh?" He hums. "If you'd wear your gloves then --"
"What was I gonna do, let her freeze?" So it was Ellie, then. You flick your gaze up and find his brow furrowed. If you have a free hand you'd smooth the crease with your thumb.
"No," you say. "Guess it's a damn good thing you have me here, then."
He chuckles, a throaty, rusty sound. "Guess so."
You finish the first hand and motion for his second. He gives it to you and you dig your thumbs into the meat of his palm. Joel lets you touch him whenever you like, for the most part. Pressing into his side when you walk down the street in town, trailing your lips down his neck until he whines just a little in your bedroom. You've worked knots out of his shoulders and cleaned blood from surface wounds. You can never get enough of him, of his warmth, the expanse of his tanned skin all yours for the taking.
And, boy, he touches you back.
So you take your time. You rub the salve between his fingers, over the ridges of knuckles split so many times you don't even know about. His hands are rough even when they're not dry and cracking, callused from years of hard work. From years of violence and playing guitar, shooting a gun and holding the people he loves. Dotted with scars and nicks, hands that have touched every part of you.
Joel's slightly slimy finger taps your chin. "You okay?" You've been stroking the same bit of his hand for who knows how long.
"Yeah," you say and mean it. You rub your own hands together to soak in some of the salve before putting the lid back on the tin and standing. "Need to let it soak in."
"Feels soaked in already," he grumbles.
"Stay there." He purses his lips. "I mean it, Joel."
"Bossy today," he says. "There's wood that needs choppin'." You ignore him since he's just being annoying. The salve goes back in the kitchen and his voice trails after you. "And I told Tommy I'd --"
You turn on the tap. "You gotta let that soak in," you say again from the sink.
"What? Can't hear over the water."
You turn off the tap and dry your hands. Joel is still on the couch when you return. "Sorry," you say. You run your hand through his hair again and settle back down next to him. "I said be patient."
"Don't think that's what you said."
"It's what I meant."
And he looks at you in that way that always makes your face feel hot. Like he's seeing right to the bone of you, like he's laying you bare on the floor in his mind. Like he never wants to stop looking at you, next to him on the couch, leg pressed to yours. Like he loves you.
"Alright," he says.
You get an idea, the flames licking at your belly and your hands itching to touch him again, to touch him differently than before. That idea has you grabbing a pillow and tossing it to the floor, has you getting up and drawing the curtains before you sink to your knees before him.
Joel only looks mildly surprised, eyebrows raised, mouth tugging up at the corner. "Now, I ain't gonna complain but --"
"Then don't," you say. You tug his shirt from his waistband and start working on his belt. "Gotta pass the time somehow. And I don't know what we're doing for dinner yet, so maybe I'm just stalling."
"Hell of a way to stall." He reaches for you to touch your face, maybe, or help you with his belt, when you click your tongue. "We can just go to the community hall--"
"Don't touch," you remind him. "You have to let it--"
"Soak, Jesus, yeah, yeah." Joel tips his head back along the sofa and takes one deep breath. If he really wanted to he could ignore you and you'd let him get away with it, but if there's one thing you and Joel have solidified, it's trust. He trusts you to take care of him, to handle him with hands that love him.
So you do. He lifts his hips just a little so you can tug his jeans down, zipper undone and button popped. You pull out his cock, already half-hard at the promise of what's to come. You spit into your palm and stroke him once root to tip and he hisses. More blood flows and he stiffens in your hand.
"You just gonna look at it?"
You give him a squeeze for being a shit. He laughs but it sounds punched out, on the edge. Frankly it's an effort not to take him in your mouth right away. You've always loved this -- the exchange of power, the trust. You're the one on your knees but you're calling the shots. And he's mouthwatering. The way his cock curves a little, the vein that runs along the underside. The mushroom head a little pinker than the rest, the wiry hair at his base. The hefty weight of his balls in your hand, on your tongue. You know how to make it good for him and it's good for you, too.
Joel opens his mouth to no doubt say something else annoying so you finally drag your tongue along the vein, swirling a little at the top before taking just the tip of him in your mouth. His precome is salty. You work your hand along the rest of him as you start to suck in earnest, hollowing your cheeks and taking a little more each time.
"Look so pretty, baby," Joel says. His voice is gravely, broken in his throat. You manage to take almost all of him and you swallow, just once. Your reward is your name spilling from his mouth in a groan.
It's messy. Spit beads at the corner of your mouth and drips a little as you work him, breathing through your nose when you take him all the way. So good, takin' all of me, keep goin'.
Joel has clearly forgotten your directive as he winds one hand in your hair and pulls just a little, just enough to make you moan around him. You don't scold him for it, instead keeping your eyes on his face. His head is tipped back just a little, lips parted at he gazes down at you. His other arm is stretched along the length of the couch, his fingers digging into the fabric as you bob on his cock.
You know he's close. You can feel how he's trying hard to keep his hips down, trying not to fuck your throat cause usually he asks first. So it's only a little surprising when he pulls you off him, eyes a little glazed and some color high on his cheeks.
He wipes spit from the corner of your mouth with the pad of his thumb. "Why don't you c'mere?" he says. "Let me fill you up."
"Joel." This was supposed to be about making him feel good. You know even if he comes in your mouth he'll ask you let him touch you, so frankly you don't mind if he fucks you or not.
He smirks, presses his fingers into the side of your neck a little. You swallow so he can feel it. "We both know you can take it," he drawls, eyes dark. "Always gets you goin', my cock in your mouth."
You can feel the heat between your legs, the arousal pooling in your gut. He's right but he's also an asshole. "You're annoying," you tell him.
"So is that a no?"
You drag the flat of your tongue up his shaft one last time as punishment before standing, using his knees as leverage to get off your own. He shucks off his jeans the rest of the way as you drag down your pants, letting them pool with your underwear at your feet before stepping out. Joel holds out a hand for you to balance on and you take it, putting your other on his shoulder.
"Feels softer already," you mutter. Joel snickers and you straddle him. He uses one hand to drag his fingers through your cunt and you fail to swallow a gasp.
"Well, look at that," he says. "I was right." He pushes two fingers into you and they go easily, your hips jerking as he pumps them in and out once, twice, and then you're empty again.
"Smug bastard," you manage. He brings his hand to his mouth and takes a long lick before surging forward to kiss you. You can taste yourself on his tongue and it makes you even wetter.
Joel licks into your mouth and you kiss him back sloppily, desperately, in the way you know he likes. You're so busy with that hands on his face, his beard scratching your skin deliciously, that you don't notice what else he's doing. His hand presses into the bare skin of your back under your shirt and you lift up a little on instinct and then --
The head of his cock nudges at your entrance and his hand presses again and you meet the movement of his hips with your own and he fills you with just one stroke.
You moan in unison, Joel's arm wrapping around your back as you curl yours around his neck, mouths not so much pressed together as hovering as you pant, as you adjust. Even with how wet you are Joel is a stretch, a welcome one, but a stretch regardless. You shift your hips, roll them back and forth a little.
"Go on, then," you tell him. "Fuck me."
He laughs.
His lips leave yours and trail down your chin, sucking spots onto your neck and on that spot that makes you keen as he does what you ask. He goes slow at first, letting you meet him thrust for thrust. One hand snakes up your shirt, thumbs at your nipple when he finds no bra in the way. You wing your fingers in his hair and tug, tug until he picks up the pace, until all you can hear is the smack of his flesh against yours.
"Joel -- Joel -- right there --"
"M'not gonna -- I -- fuck --"
"Said you were gonna fill me up, didn't you?" you pant, managing to find a bit of cheek in the haze of your fucking. "C'mon, Miller. Don't keep a lady wait--"
His hips pick up the pace, his hands pressing into you hard enough to bruise. You give up trying to tease him and hang on for dear life, managing to snake a hand between your legs to rub at your clit as he pounds into you. The only thing you can say is his name over and over as you feel the hook pull taught, feel the head of his cock brush against and then pound that spot that makes your vision blur.
Joel comes just before you do, his thrusts stuttering and his name on your lips. You feel it, the heat inside you and it's enough to send you over the edge, your cunt squeezing him as he empties inside you.
You press your forehead to his and catch your breath. He palms your neck, your jaw, slides his thumb lazily under your eye and kisses the corner of your mouth.
"Hell of a salve," he manages.
You slot your lips over his. "Wear your damn gloves." Joel laughs and it shifts him inside you. Even softening it makes you both hiss a little. "Just gimme a second."
His hand drags up and down your back, pressing into your spine. "Take your time," he says. "M'clearly not goin' anywhere."
"You never stop, do you?"
Joel kisses you again. "'fraid not."
You laugh into his neck. "Good."
thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!
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ghsface · 10 days ago
Note
Not sure if you are taking request but can we get an angst with Matt where like reader and him are dating for years but recently comments have been getting to her or people have been following her home and eventually she decideds to break up with Matt but Matt takes things to in his hands where he’s tells ppl to stop and they get back together?(Lol sorry if it didn’t make sense but thank you)
𝜗𝜚 new messege .ᐟ.ᐟ
Hey gorgeous, I really liked this idea, I hope you like it too.
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You are the only thing I want - Matt Sturniolo
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Sumary: You and Matt had a secret relationship and when you decide to make it public everything goes wrong...
Warnings: angst hate messages towards reader, this is just angst with a happy ending
A/n: Leave me ideas to write in my inbox because I'm running out of ideas. I'm sorry if something is misspelled or not understood. My first language is not English. By the way, what do you think of my new theme, in my opinion, it's very cute like the baby pink and light brown. 🩷🧸
⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧
It had been exactly fourteen months since the first time you and Matt kissed. You hadn't imagined then how important he would become in your life, nor that being with him would be so complicated. Because, although you adored each other and the bond between you grew every day, that relationship had to be kept secret. It was a mutual decision, made for practical reasons. At first, the thrill of secrecy made everything more exciting. But now, you both felt exhausted.
You had spent too many nights talking secretly in the car, dates arranged down to the last detail so as not to be seen, or moments of solitude where, instead of shouting to the world how much you loved each other, you had to hide it like a forbidden secret. The situation was starting to weigh on you.
That night, you were on the couch at Matt's house. He was holding you, and your head was resting on his shoulder while you felt his fingers playing with the strands of your hair.
"Aren't you tired of this?" he asked quietly, breaking the silence.
You raised your head and looked at him, searching his eyes for what he really wanted to say.
"What are you talking about?"
"About having to hide… about not being able to tell anyone how amazing you are." Matt smiled, but his eyes reflected a sadness that you shared.
"Of course I'm tired. Sometimes I wish we could be a normal couple".
"Then let's do it", he suggested, giving your hand a squeeze. "Let's make it public. I don't care what others say. I want to be with you, and I want everyone to know it."
The idea made you feel butterflies in your stomach. The love you had for Matt was bigger than any fear, and the fact that he was willing to share your relationship with his fans made you feel special. You decided to announce it on social media.
When Matt uploaded the first photo of the two of you together, you felt a mix of excitement and nervousness. The image showed an intimate moment, a selfie of the two smiling on the beach, with the sunset in the background. The caption was simple but powerful: “Over a year together, and we’re just getting started.”
For the first few hours, the response was overwhelmingly positive. There were comments from fans congratulating and supporting them: “They look beautiful together,” “Finally someone makes Matt happy as he deserves,” “What a great couple they make!”
But over time, other types of messages began to appear. “Her? Is he really with her?”, “She’s not enough for him,” “She’s only with him for fame, I’m sure she’ll use him to become famous,” “Poor Matt, he deserves someone better.”
At first, you tried not to take them seriously. But every time you checked your phone, more of those comments appeared. There were people criticizing your appearance: “She’s too basic for someone like him,” “She’s not even pretty, how dare she date Matt?”, “Matt deserves someone more attractive.”
The words cut you deeply. You knew you shouldn’t let those comments affect you, but you couldn’t stop the doubts from starting to poison your mind. Every time you looked in the mirror, you started to see those flaws that others mentioned. Insecurity began to invade you in a way you hadn’t experienced before.
Matt tried to comfort you whenever he noticed you looking down. Sometimes, during the night, he would catch you reading the comments on your phone, and he would simply take the phone away from you and hold you, whispering that he loved you and that was all that mattered.
“You don’t need to listen to those people, babe,” he said, looking at you with a sincere expression. “They don’t know anything about you, they don’t know how amazing you are.”
The comments didn’t stop, though. Every day they became crueler and crueler. Rumors began to circulate suggesting that you were only with Matt to gain followers, or that you were using his fame to make yourself known. People commented on every aspect of your life, from how you dressed to how you looked without makeup. There were those who said things like, “It’s obvious that she dresses like that to get attention, can’t she dress up better?” or “She should thank Matt for giving her a chance, she’s just an ordinary girl.”
At some point, comments were no longer the only thing. People started following you home, taking photos of you without your permission, and even trying to get close to you to ask you invasive questions. You felt watched and judged at every turn, and little by little, you started to believe that you weren't enough, that maybe all those people were right.
The pressure began to be unbearable. Your self-esteem plummeted, and every time you looked in the mirror, you saw someone who, according to the world, wasn’t enough. Matt tried to cheer you up, to remind you how much he loved you, but you couldn’t stand it anymore.
One night, after one of your most difficult conversations, you asked him to meet you. Matt came over to your house, and as soon as you saw him, he knew something was wrong. He stared at you in silence as you searched for the words to say to him.
“Matt… I can’t do this anymore,” you whispered, your voice shaking.
“What are you saying?” he asked, frowning, clearly worried.
“I can’t be in this relationship anymore. The pressure, the comments… they’re tearing me apart. I can’t take it anymore.
Matt looked at you, unable to process what you were saying. He was trying to understand, but the pain in your eyes made it clear to him that you were really hurt.
“But… I love you, and I don’t care what other people think. They don’t understand what we have.”
“I know, Matt. I know you love me, but I can’t go on like this. I’m losing myself in all of this.” It's getting harder and harder to get up and pretend everything is okay.
You took a deep breath, trying to hold back your tears. “Matt… I can’t keep going like this. I can’t handle the pressure, the comments, the people following me everywhere. I feel like I’m losing myself, and I don’t want to drag you into this. I think… I think it’s best that we break up.”
The goodbye was hard and heartbreaking for both of us. In the days that followed, Matt stayed away from social media, not mentioning anything about what had happened. He isolated himself, trying to understand how the love of his life had to walk away because of the cruelty of others.
Weeks went by as you tried to get over the situation, even though you felt empty. However, one afternoon, while you were checking your social media, you noticed a post from Matt that surprised you.
It was a photo of you and him that Nick had taken, and the message was clear and direct: “I don't give a shit what others say about my girlfriend. I'm with her because I love her, and that's never going to change.”
Matt's public statement was not only a message to his fans, but a promise that he was willing to stand up for what they had. Feeling a torrent of emotions, you decided to call him. When he answered, his voice trembled with emotion.
"I can't go on without you" he said quietly, while you tried to hold back your tears.
"Me neither, Matt… I love you."
That night, they met again, and between tears and hugs, they knew that this time there would be nothing and no one that could separate.
⛧°。 ⋆༺ ✮ ༻⋆。 °⛧
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated dearly, and feel free to leave a request ✮
⤷ Tags... @matthewsroses @sophand4n4 @strnilolover @lolastrniolo
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pinkydevil16 · 6 months ago
Text
Kamisama Kiss
Tomoe x Land God! Reader
18+
Tomoe was seething, to think this incipit child was to be his new God? This weak, fragile human girl was believed to be worthy of Him? He scoffed as she scratched her head awkwardly, confused as the spirits explained her role.
"Look guys, i don't know what's going on if i'm honest. Some guy kissed my head and suddenly i was here. I didn't sign up to be a God but i do really need a place to stay." Tomoe could feel his aura grow dark as he stepped forward, taking a deep breath of his pipe and blowing it in her face before speaking.
"You are not worthy of Mikage's Shrine. Leave now." Y/n let out a small laugh and shook her head.
"Sorry, no can do. I'm sort of between places and Mikage? I assume offered me to stay here for a while, so as much as i would love to run out of here because you are giving off some bad energy right now i really need somewhere to stay. I just got evicted so." Tomoe turned and left in huff, swiping his claws to open a portal and disappeared before Y/n could say anything else.
"Well...i guess i can stay for a little bit then? Who was that?" Y/n mumbled, one of the spirits answered enthusiastically.
"That's Tomoe! He's a fox yokai, a very powerful one and he was Mikage's familiar before he left. He's spent the last 20 years looking after the shrine since Mikage abandoned us." Y/n contemplated for a moment as she looked around, the Shrine was in perfect condition, it was beautiful even. He must have put a lot of time and energy into making it so spotless.
"So what would happen if i accepted this whole Land God thing?" The spirits almost cried as they begged Y/n to stay, pulling at her arms as they tugged her inside.
"You would be an amazing mistress! You will help others, going through prayers and helping the earth grow! Please Miss Y/n stay." Y/n could feel how calming the Shrine was as they showed her each room, including Tomoe's which was almost bare compared to the many other rooms.
"This is all the prayers Master Tomoe has written in the last 20 years in preparation for Mikage's arrival." Y/n was stumped as she stared at the well organised piles, there must have been thousands, no tens of thousands, filed by year. The first 10 years were filled to the brim, but the last two had dwindled to only a few hundred compared to the magnitude of the beginning.
"He's been doing all of this? Alone?" The spirits nodded as Y/n walked around, her hands touching Prayers, feeling the pure devotion within them as she read some.
"Why did he not leave?" Her voice came out as a whisper as she stared at his handwriting, it was beautiful, just like the Shrine.
"He didn't want to abandon the Shrine, he hoped one day Mikage would come back. At first he was sad but then he accepted it, when he sensed your presence he was angry thinking you were Mikage." Y/n nodded along, placing down the prayer before turning to the spirits.
"Well then, if he can have that much passion perhaps i can borrow some from him and try to assist yes?" The spirits cheered as they showed Y/n all her jobs, the first being cleaning, which much to Y/n's chagrin was a long winded chore but once she finished she felt accomplished.
"What next?" Y/n worked day and night for three days before she finally dropped into her bed, having only cat naps before now she snuggled into her blanket and tried to sleep but it was no use. She knew there was more to do, how Tomoe had been doing this alone for 20 years was astounding and now she felt guilty for passing off being Land God and only concentrating on not being homeless, she'd essentially invaded his home and now he was out somewhere alone again. Forcing herself up she stretched her body, she knew what she needed to do.
"Onikiri, where is Tomoe?" The spirit appeared, with shining eyes as they explained that he was in the yokai world.
"Please take me to him."
Tomoe was lounging on a futon, the front of his Komodo barely held together as he drank sake, beautiful yokai around him as they fawned over his beauty.
"Tomoe. It's Y/n, may i enter?" Tomoe's ears spiked up as the silk draping separating him from the other yokai parted and Y/n entered, her hands sheepishly hidden behind her as she looked down.
"What do you want?" Y/n sighed as she heard the hatred in his voice but she could not find it in herself to respond harshly back, looking up she gave him a sad smile.
"I am sorry for how i acted, you have kept the Shrine in beautiful condition and i came in with such a selfish outlook. Please forgive me and return to your home." Y/n bowed, her hair covering her face as she stared at her trainers, keeping her pride pushed down.
Tomoe scoffed, letting out a mocking laugh as the other yokai laughed with him. Y/n jolted up and watched as he took another deep breath of his pipe and once again blew it in her face as he had the first day he met her.
"My my, what a pitiful human you are coming here to beg me to return because you cannot handle the work of being a God!" Y/n clenched her hands and bit her tongue as he taunted her, drinking his sake as one of the yokai women ran her hand inside his open Komodo, her long nails striking against his pale skin.
"Be gone useless woman, i do not call that place my home nor do i wish to return to such a horrid life. I am now free to do as i please, including eating you if you continue to enrage me." Y/n could now feel her eyebrow ticking as she tried to contain her anger but his words were too much.
"You ungrateful fox! I came here to try to make amends, so that you would feel comfortable to come back not because i am unable to look after the Shrine! You want to stay here and drown your sorrows in booze and women then do whatever you want you...you...argh!" Y/n shouted and stormed out, unable to come up with a good insult in her anger, leaving Tomoe's eyes wide before he gripped the woman's hand and dragged it off his chest. He was now intrigued, to speak to a powerful yokai such as himself with no fear for her life was almost admirable. He felt an almost guilty twang in his chest as he thought of her storming through the village, the mark on her forehead a target whilst she most likely drew more attention to herself with her anger. Sighing he stood, if she was to find her demise atleast he could watch.
"That damned stupid fox! Who does he think he is huh?" Y/n let out a huff as the spirits tried to talk her down.
"Please go back to Master Tomoe, it is not safe for you out here." Y/n turned around quickly and pointed where she'd just left.
"Did that sound safe? That arrogant asshole said he's eat me! He should be glad i didn't take a bite out of him to show him i'm not afraid of some yokai."
"You're not afraid of Yokai Land God?" Y/n turned slowly, a large Yokai in front of her as he grinned maliciously down at her, Y/n was engulfed in his shadow as he cracked his knuckles.
"Seriously am i cursed?" Y/n asked herself before stepping back, pivoting and running away from the large Yokai as he let out a bellowing laugh and chased her.
"Come back here delicious girl, you look so scrumptious, i just want to taste those legs." Y/n shivered in disgust as she heard him get closer, darting to the left as he lept at her, his claw dragging along her calf as she let out a loud cry falling forward. The Yokai made a loud crash as he hit the ground, skidding a few feet forward allowing Y/n time to get up and continue her running.
"Oh my, aren't you in trouble now Y/n?" Tomoe taunted as he laid on his fox fire, hovering next to her as she glared at him.
"What do you want?" Y/n huffed out as she hid behind a tree trying to catch her breath as the Yokai ran past her. Tomoe grinned as he leaned closer, his face so close to hers as he inhaled the sweet smell of her fear.
"If you want my help all you have to do is admit you are incompetent and unable to protect yourself and i the Great Tomoe will help you." Y/n let out a scoff as she pushed him back, slowly creeping around the tree trying to spot the Yokai but it appeared she had outsmarted him.
"Fat chance fox face, you're not here to help me, you're here to gloat. If you care so little for the Shrine and the spirits who reside within it then just leave. I don't need your pity." Y/n began walking back where she came from hoping to find her lovely spirits and hopefully get back to the Shrine in time to do the days prayers.
"There you are girly." Y/n turned seeing the large Yokai come back, shrieking she jumped away as he swiped out at her side, the Yokai snarling as she hurried to climb a tree. His large claws coming down just below her legs as she gripped the branches and climbed higher, her hand covered in scratches and splinters as she fought for her life.
"Leave me alone!" Y/n screamed as he shook the tree, her hands clutching the oak as hard as she could to try to stay on the highest branch away from him.
"Come on Y/n, just say it, beg me to help you and i'll seal the contract." Y/n shook her head as Tomoe purred in her ear, enjoying how fearful she was of falling.
"No! I won't beg you to care for me!" Y/n slipped slightly, her trainer dropping into the Yokai's mouth as he moaned and began clawing at the tree harder.
"I can taste the sweetness of fear on your clothes Land God, fall down and let me devour you. I promise it will hurt." Y/n let out a cry as her leg slipped, the cut along her calf scraping against the bark as she dug her nails in. Tomoe was now beginning to panic as she shook her head, she was barely holding on but her pride would not let her be belittled by him.
"Just say the damn words human and i will rescue you!" Tomoe growled as Y/n slipped more, one of her legs gripping the branch tightly as her other dangled just out of reach of the Yokai, but her grip was not good, her naked thigh didn't have enough friction to hold her body up as she slipped further. Tears now poured out her eyes as she scrambled to climb higher but the burn on her inner thigh and the blood dripping from the cut on her calf was hitting her full force as she looked up at Tomoe.
"Please look after the Shrine." Y/n begged as she finally slipped, her eyes wide as she fell quickly, the Yokai's mouth wide as he laughed, Tomoe moved faster than light diving down and catching her. His flames engulfing the Yokai as Y/n's body snapped in his arms, the wind knocked out her lungs as she cried in pain at the sudden resistance. Her eyes staring up at Tomoe as he looked over her, one of her hands gripping his neck before he could stop her as her lips sealed over his and the contract was sealed. Tomoe's eyes closed as he felt her soft lips press against his, he knew this is what he had unconsciously wanted, when he took the plunge and rescued her he had made that decision for himself. However as he felt the shackles fall onto his wrists, and his body entwine with hers, his previous decision weighed heavily on him as she parted too soon for his liking.
"Thank you Tomoe. I'm so tired." Y/n's body gave out as Tomoe smelt the sweet scent of her blood, it was along his Komodo as he looked over her injuries, he could feel the exhaustion in her body as he shook his head and returned to the Shrine.
Y/n woke up groaning in pain, her head pounded and legs felt weak as she pulled back her blanket. Her skirt and top were now replaced with an oversized shirt, her legs both wrapped as well as her inner thigh and palms. As she stared in confusion she suddenly recalled the previous events and went bright red, holding her face as she dropped her head and tried to control her breathing. She'd forced Tomoe into a contract, not just a contract but a kiss, her first kiss. Oh gods her first kiss was with that damned fox, she hoped he wasn't too angry. Getting up she winced as she pulled the shirt down, it was her own from her small bag of belongings, looking around she found a pair of pyjama bottoms and pulled the door open. Wiping her eyes she could feel the blisters on the backs of her feet pulling as she walked towards the kitchen smelling food as she took a deep breath and sighed at the comforting aroma.
"You are awake." Y/n humped as she opened her eyes to Tomoe stood before her, a tray with soup, rice and a dark green drink in his hands as he looked down at her with scrutiny. She felt a shiver run down her back as she nodded, voice caught in her throat as she stared at his lips recalling how they fit against hers. Gulping she shook her head and awkwardly scratched her neck.
"Morning Tomoe, i hope you're okay. I'm just going to use the toilet and then i'll continue with my chores." Y/n was stopped as Tomoe almost growled out his words.
"You fragile human, you are covered in cuts and wounds, you almost died yesterday and you are now rejecting the healing process. Go back to bed before i drag you in there." Y/n yelped as his tail smacked her calf reminding her of how they throbbed the longer she stood.
"Sorry." Y/n spoke sheepishly, turning around and walking back to the room she had woken up in, she could hear Tomoe following her as she sped up, ignoring the pain in her legs as she opened the door and sat back on the futon.
"Good girl." Y/n felt her face heat up as she felt an unfamiliar rush in her stomach.
"Don't..don't say that." Tomoe's face changed into a smirk as he placed the tray down and crouched beside his Mistress, his clawed hand gripping her chin as he forced her to look at him.
"Why not Mistress? Do you not want praise for following instructions?" Y/n gulped as he teased her, her nose wrinkling as she pulled her head free and tucked her legs into her chest.
"You don't need to call me that. I don't need praise." Tomoe's grin turned cat like as he tutted, taking a seat and lounging beside Y/n, placing a hand on her knee and pulling them back down before he brought the tray to her lap.
"But when my Mistress is so obedient how can i not praise her." Tomoe continued his teasing, enjoying how she blushed a deeper shade but didn't dare to look away. Y/n used a hand to push her hair back before smirking back at him, reaching over and placing a hand between his ears, fussing his hair and running his fluffy ear between her fingers as he too turned a deep red and jerked back.
"Thank you for looking after me, good boy Tomoe." Y/n mocked back causing Tomoe to sneer at her before his eyes turned to slits and he stood.
"Eat your meal and restore your health, you are neglecting your Land God duties." His voice was low as he walked out, Y/n letting a small giggle out.
"Will do." Y/n chirped as she picked up the chopsticks and placed veggies in her mouth, moaning lightly at the warm soothing broth that coated them, placing down the chopsticks and collecting a spoon to fully indulge.
"This is amazing, i need Tomoe to teach me how to cook." Y/n praised as she drank some more of the hearty soup, gushing over Tomoe's cooking as he stood by the door listening to her as she did so blissfully unaware of his presence. His nail spiked as she praised him, his ears twitched and tried to control his thoughts. He knew praise from your Mistress/Master was always a nice feeling, when Mikage had praised him it made him beam with pride but this feeling was different, it made his whole body stand straight and the urge to make her say it over and over was deeply rooted in his soul. Tutting he walked away, he was not some silly familiar who would be taken control of so easily, not like the pathetic ones who would beg their masters for attention. Why should he, the great Tomoe, need attention from a silly girl like Y/n.
Y/n placed the tray beside her before standing, she felt exhausted both mentally and physically but she could feel the grease in her hair, probably blood and tree sap aswell based on all her wounds. Exiting the room she found the bath house quickly, turning the hot water on as a sweet aroma filled the room, inhaling she sighed out before undressing. Staring in the mirror she took in all the bandages wrapped around her body and winced, slowly unwrapping herself she touched the bruises on her thighs and legs, aswell as the lighter ones on her upper arms from holding the tree.
"Good job Y/n, do a full number on yourself 2 days before you have school. Guess i'll be wearing dark tights to hide these." Rolling her neck she felt it crack as she let out a satisfied moan, checking the water she looked around and grabbed shampoo and conditioner. Climbing in she let out a pained groan as she lowered her aching legs into the hot water until she was fully submerged and able to lay back. Laying still for a few minutes as she felt her muscles relax and a tension headache roll in from her beaten body.
Y/n cleaned her body thoroughly, her hair finally felt soft and silky once more as she braided it out her face whilst it dried, sat on the side of the bath as she dried her legs. She felt rejuvenated, granted the bath didn't contain healing powers where she came out brand new but she wasn't as achey and sore compared to when she woke up. Wrapping a towel around her body she began looking through the cupboards for some moisturiser, anything that would bring her skin back to life and get the bruises to heal quicker.
"What are you doing?" Y/n let out a scream as she stumbled back and into Tomoe's chest, his clawed hands catching her waist as she looked up at him horrified and clutched at her towel. Stumbling over her words she tried to pull away, turning around as he gently let her go, her face now pink and eyes wide before her face changed to anger and she placed a hand on her hip.
"What am i doing? What are you doing you pervert! Why are you in here?" Y/n's voice grew louder as Tomoe's tail whipped behind him, his hands together in his kimono a steely look in his eyes as his ear twitched at the insinuation.
"I am not a pervert Y/n, you should not have taken your bandages off and now i need to tend to your wounds again. Sit and i shall put some ointment on and wrap them." Y/n blushed harder as the mental image of Tomoe on his knees, touching her leg and thigh popped into her head.
"N-no thank you! I can do it myself." Tomoe raised an eyebrow and shook his head, leaning down and picking Y/n up as she squirmed and panicked, her hands coming to hold down the towel as best she could.
"Tomoe! I'm not wearing underwear! You are a pervert!" Tomoe ran his hand up and down the back of her knee, keeping them from going too high as he kept his head straight and didn't look at how the towel formed around her thighs.
"My Lady i would never disgrace you in such a way, i simply wish to look after you as is my sworn duty per the contract you sealed me into." Y/n shut her mouth as she held down her towel, her face now bright red and her ears burning from embarrassment, she had only been a God 5 days and wasn't sure if this was normal for a familiar to do or if Tomoe was truly a perverted fox. Tomoe placed her on a stool, her hands coming to grip her towel as Tomoe exited and entered within moments, a basket in his hands as he crouched in front of her.
"Tomoe, i need to put some underwear on and a top." Tomoe bent down, ignoring Y/n as he dipped his hand into the ointment and raised her foot, Y/n grunted as his cool hands ran along her legs and up her thighs before he reached the towel and stopped. His eyes stayed on his hands as he ran them back down and Y/n let out a low moan at the pressure against her muscles and massaged the knots out slowly.
"Tomoe..." Y/n groaned out as she closed her eyes and enjoyed how his claws grazes her legs tenderly, his hands leaving one leg to collect more ointment and return to the other, Y/n sighing as she felt her stomach warm and hands clench the stool to hold herself up.
"I'm going to do your inner thighs Y/n, i won't look i promise." Y/n's eyes snapped open as Tomoe stared downwards, his fingers dipping into ointment before he gingerly spread her legs, one of her hands coming to cover herself as she blushed dark red and shivered at his hand touching her knee and slowly pushing higher until his claws almost touched her hips. Rubbing along her inner thighs he held his breath, her skin so soft and pliable under his hands, this wasn't his first time touching them but before she had been in her skirt and underwear. Hidden from him, now if he were to look up he would see her, open for him and only him but he would never destroy her trust in such a way, not his Mistress. Y/n couldn't stop staring at his hands as they dipped below the towel and out, his claws tickling her hips as she bit her lip and tried to remind herself he was only doing this to heal her, not for his or her pleasure.
"Are you okay Y/n? You are so red." Tomoe's voice was full of concern as he inhaled the sweet smell of her arousal, pushing her thighs back together as he looked up at her.
"Y-yes, sorry i'm just not used to being looked after." Tomoe stood slowly, bowing to Y/n before collecting his basket.
"It will be best to air your bruises and cuts then we will bandage them tomorrow for support when you walk." Y/n nodded, her mouth unnaturally dry as she stared at his back before the door closed behind him. Letting out a deep breath she placed a hand on her forehead and willed her body to cool down, standing on shaky legs as she dressed in her pjs and climbed under her blanket.
Tomoe laid on his futon, his pipe in hand as he sipped on his sake, his eyes closed and mind reeling as he recalled how her skin felt under his touch, how she had moaned ever so slightly. How she'd spoken his name in such an unholy way he was sure her title of God had wavered even for a second at the sound. His control was slipping too quick, he had only been her familiar a day, a singular day and he was willing to drop to his knees and serve her in every sense of the word. His tail bristled as he parted his kimono to cool his body, lying back as he stared at the ceiling and took a deep breath of his pipe.
The weekend flew by, with Y/n regaining her strength and attending to the Shrine as much as her familiar would allow, which meant she was allowed to sit and read Prayers and practice talismans. When she had deemed she was healed enough to put the ointment on her own legs Tomoe had all but forced her to sit down and accept it was his job. When monday rolled around Y/n was dressed for school, dark tights covering the bruises and half healed cuts, her shirt buttoned and tucked into her skirt as she pulled on her blazer and adjusted her bow. Brushing her hair she stared at herself in the mirror, she hadn't been in school for over a week now and was prepared for the immature response from other students.
"Where are you going?" Y/n turned as Tomoe stood behind her, giving him a small smile she turned back to the mirror and continued to brush her hair trying to decide what to do with it.
"School. I only have a few months left and i'll be able to graduate." Tomoe glared at Y/n before taking the brush and slowly detangling her hair before placing it down and running his fingers through her hair, claws grazing her head as she closed her eyes and enjoyed how calming it was.
"You should not go alone. It is not safe for a Land God to be unprotected. I shall come with you." Y/n barely registered what she said as she agreed, too relaxed as he braided her hair and placed a hair pin in, taking his hands away as she opened her eyes and gasped at her hair. It framed her face beautifully and the jewel in the hair pin matched her eyes uncannily.
"Where did you get this? It is beautiful." Y/n didn't dare touch her hair but hovered her hand over it as she moved closer to the mirror astonished by how quickly and well he'd arranged her hair. Tomoe preened at the praise, his ears twitching as he smiled proudly, transforming himself into a 'human', Y/n gasping as she spun and grinned at him.
"You look so human! Although i do miss your ears and tail, i can almost tell what you're thinking when you have them." Y/n pouted slightly before checking the time, her eyes widening as she grabbed Tomoe's hand and pulled him to the Shrine's exit.
"Come on i can't be late." Tomoe allowed her to pull him along, enjoying how excited she appeared for such a mundane and boring task.
Y/n sat at her desk, her head in her hand as she wrote down whatever the teacher said even if it went in one ear and out the other. She could feel Tomoe's gaze burning into the back of her head as he ignored the class in favour of remembering how soft she was, if he inhaled deeply he could smell the sweet citrus on her skin.
"Kurama!" Y/n jumped at the sudden screaming, all the girls fangirling as the door opened, smoke and lights seeming to appear as a boy walked through the door with dark red hair and eyeliner.
"Please, do not stop on account of me." Even the teacher swooned as she told him to not be silly, he was welcome to come in whenever he could, Tomoe glared at the tengu as he entered.
"You're in my seat." Y/n stared at the redhead as he hovered over her, his eyes slightly widening as he noticed the God mark on her forehead.
"Your name isn't on it." Y/n spoke back, her eyebrows knitted together as she glared at the cocky redhead, who in return cocked his head and gave her his signature smile which almost every girl swooned at. But not Y/n, instead she was more confused.
"I haven't seen you before, if you wanted my attention congratulations you have it, now why don't you move your pretty butt to another seat or take a seat on my lap if that was what you wanted from this exchange." Tomoe's claws scraped the table as he watched someone disrespect his Mistress in such a way, Y/n gave a disgusted look and stood up, her face close to Kurama as she looked up at him.
"I don't want your attention and i certainly don't want to sit on your lap so why don't you take your arrogant attitude and sit in the back." Kurama grinned as he heard his fans start mumbling and telling Y/n to move, sighing he ran a hand through his hair and spoke.
"My and i thought i was doing a fan a lovely service. I guess some people just can't take a compliment." Y/n ground her teeth as he walked away, the girls swooning at him before glaring at Y/n for being so cruel to their crush, sitting down with a huff she looked forward to see even the teacher giving her a harsh look. Rolling her eyes she looked out the window and waited for the stupid lesson to be over. She hoped that asshole wasn't in all her classes, she didn't need more eyes on her when she had Tomoe burying a hole in the back of her head already.
Y/n was exhausted, Tomoe had been non stop, telling her to avoid Kurama and the other boys in the class, he meant well since he'd scared off someone who tried to bully her. She was grateful to have him around, especially with her legs aching as she walked between classes.
"I am sorry Y/n but i need to go to the Shrine, i will return when you finish." Y/n yawned, nodding as Tomoe apologised, waving him off as she walked towards her next class.
"Well hello pretty God." Y/n froze as she entered a lone hallway, Kurama stood opposite her with a smug look, Y/n clutched her bag to her shoulder as she shook her head.
"You must have the wrong person. Move out my way i don't want to be late." Y/n went to side step him when a large black angelic looking wing covered her exit, stumbling back Y/n dropped her bag falling on her bottom.
"What the hell!" Y/n shouted as Kurama rolled his shoulders and grinned showing off his wings.
"What's wrong Y/n? Never seen a tengu before?" Y/n shook her head as she crawled back, Kurama now walking towards her slowly, his eyes on her with a piercing gaze which made her feel like prey.
"It is a shame to waste such a pretty face but if i consume you then the power i'll hold will be unimaginable, plus to be known as the fearful tengu who killed a Land God is just too much to pass up. I promise to make it quick." Y/n winced as she scrambled up, running towards the nearest exit as Kurama laughed and chased her.
"Come here bunny." Y/n yelped as she ran up the stairs, cursing herself for missing the stairs down, her legs throbbing as she threw open the roof door. Panting as she slammed it closed snd ran towards the other exit, hoping to put some distance between herself and the tengu.
"Nice try Y/n, atleast now i can take my time with you." Y/n ducked as he landed on the roof, falling on her knees as her tights ripped. Could she not have one normal day? Forcing herself up she turned to where Kurama now strode towards her too confident for her liking.
"I suggest you step back from my Mistress." Y/n felt her body be tugged backwards into warmth, an arm snaking around her waist as blue flame appeared beside her. Gasping she looked to see Tomoe, his full yokai form revealed as Kurama let out a laugh and crossed his arms.
"Well, you've got the fox watching over you? I guess today will be the day i kill a God and defeat a fox yokai then." Tomoe let out a humourless laugh as his face darkened, a talisman hitting Kurama as it turned him into an ostrich. Y/n's jaw dropped as Tomoe sent a flame after him, hearing his laugh in her ear as he pulled her even closer.
"Shall we have roast tengu for dinner Y/n?" Her jaw was still wide open as she watched Kurama run around wildly trying to avoid the fire as Tomoe laughed and mocked him. She could feel the heat from his body warming her insides, she felt so exhausted and now he was holding her up she was able to drop her weight. Tomoe stopped laughing as he picked Y/n up, cradling her legs in one hand so she could drop her head against his shoulder.
"You must be more careful Y/n, your fragile body cannot handle it." Y/n nodded before she heard a yelp, her head turning to see Kurama's tail on fire as Tomoe let out another laugh. Y/n scowled, smacking Tomoe's chest.
"Tomoe stop, he doesn't need to be killed." Tomoe ignored her as he pushed her head back into his shoulder and enjoyed Kurama panicking. Y/n pushed his hand away and grabbed his face, forcing the fox to look at her as she spoke in a forceful way.
"Do not kill him. Turn him back to normal." Tomoe felt the harsh pull of the familiar bond tugging at him as he stopped his fire and Kurama turned human. Y/n sighed as she moved her hand from his face and Tomoe wanted it instantly back, to see that fire in her eyes as she commanded him. He wished she would command him more, to feel it deep in him, the need to do what she wanted. It was addictive.
"You insolent fool, if you ever go near my Mistress again i will not be as lenient as i was today." Kurama panicked as he agreed, stumbling back as he exited the roof, leaving Tomoe and Y/n alone. The latter now barely awake as Tomoe stroked her legs, he could smell the metallic blood that seeped into her tights.
"I shall need to wash your legs and bandage them again." Y/n let out a small whine before nodding and closing her eyes.
"Am gonna just have a nap." Y/n barely spoke above a whisper, her words slurred as she slouched more into Tomoe's hold and he could hear her breathing evening out.
The next week passed quickly, Kurama apologised and decided he was going to steal Y/n's heart, whether to eat it or keep it he wasn't too sure either. Y/n's legs finally healed and Tomoe was letting himself relax more around her, allowing her to do her chores around the Shrine and he had taught her how to cook the soup she'd enjoyed so much. Her praise whilst he showed her was too much, his tail had spiked up and his body was sweating by the time he had plated up the food. It was angelic, he'd lapped it up and thoroughly enjoyed himself. Now monday rolled around once more and as Y/n stood in her uniform, this time without the black tights and knee high socks instead which frankly Tomoe was ready to force her into a longer skirt and dark tights to hide her beautiful skin.
"I must stay at the Shrine today Y/n, you should stay here too without me able to look after you that Tengu might try to harm you again." Y/n let out a laugh as she grabbed her bag, patting Tomoe on his chest with a grin.
"Don't be so silly, he's just a dramatic pop star. I'll fine, i'll see you when i get back okay?" Tomoe's eyes dropped to where her hand grazed his bare skin between the fold on his Kimono, electricity striking where her fingers touched before he felt them leave along with her out the door. Letting out a shakey breath he shook his head and regained his composure, he would not fall for a human ever again.
Y/n entered the classroom, placing her bag down before she heard the commotion, all the boys crowded around a small white snake trying to scare it away as she scowled and pushed through the crowd.
"Leave the poor thing alone!" Y/n bent down allowing the snake to wrap around her wrist as she gave it a small smile and walked towards the window, the boys in the class all making comments as she opened the window.
"Come on little guy, it's not safe here." She lowered her hand as she bent put the windowsill, the snake seemed to stare at her for a while before slowly unwrapping and landing on the soft grass. Y/n smiled as she closed the window, the snake turning and staring at her retreating figure.
"Are you okay Y/n?" One of the girls said as Y/n raised an eyebrow confused and went to answer before another girl pointed at her arm. The snake had left a red mark where it had been wrapped around and a white mark around her wrist. Tilting her head she shrugged and wiped at her skin but it stayed.
"I'm sure it's nothing." Y/n gave them a reassuring smile as she continued on her day.
Tomoe tried not to stare at the entrance of the Shrine for the whole day as he sorted through everything, dinner was boiling away and the odd miasma which had appeared that morning was now gone. Sighing he fanned himself as he saw Y/n approach, smirking he watched as she took in the beauty of Shrine as she did everyday she left, he felt honoured at how proud she was to call it her home. His eyes narrowed as she placed her hand in the water, moving quickly as he grabbed her arm causing her to gasp at his sudden appearance.
"What is this?" Y/n's eyes were wide as she yanked her arm back and crossed them, cocking her hip out as they both stared each other down.
"I helped a snake earlier and i must be allergic. I'm fine." Y/n huffed as she moved and rubbed her arm, it didn't hurt but the mark was still there although now the white mark looked more like a bracelet than an actual allergic reaction.
"That is not an allergic reaction. That is a nark of marriage!" Y/n raised an eyebrow at the angry fox as he lectured her on being careful and how he now would have to be by her side every waking moment.
"You're a very dramatic fox y'know." Y/n finally spoke in between Tomoe's lecture making his eyes snap to hers as his aura darkened, hands now inside his kimono sleeves as he glared down at her making Y/n laugh awkwardly and step back.
"What did you say?" Tomoe's voice was deep and full of threat as Y/n shot him a nervous grin.
"Nothing...the Shrine looks amazing by the way! Absolutely magnificent, have you done something new with your hair? Your ears look so fluffy and.." Tomoe huffed as he walked past Y/n, pretending her compliments and praise hadn't instantly made his anger diminish. Y/n breathed out a sigh of relief as she looked at her arm and poked at the mark.
"Why do i have to be nice?" Y/n slumped as she walked into the Shrine, smelling the lovely dinner Tomoe had prepared as she went in her room and changed into her casual clothes. She had better start making some talismans to protect herself, was this God thing ever going to get easier?
Y/n walked through the corridor, Tomoe stood beside her as he glared at any male who looked at her, it was starting to warm up luckily so Y/n's spirit had cheered up and she had easily forgotten about the marriage mark from the previous week. Tomoe however had not and every man that looked towards his Mistress was met with a fiery gaze which sent them running, it gave him great pride to see them scamper away. He had heard rumours of Y/n dating him and although Y/n had been disputing them left and right to any girl who came up to her he had only been shrugging when someone asked him. What harm would it cause for the humans to believe Y/n was his? In a way she was, just as he was her familiar, they just didn't understand that was what he was inferring too, not that he ever tried to correct them. He enjoyed how Y/n would blush and quickly try to dispute the rumour compared to his bored attitude to the question, it only furthered the idea that they were hiding their relationship.
"Hey Tomoe, i just need to use the toilet i'll be back in a minute." Y/n chirped as she waved her hand and entered the girls bathrooms, within moments a few girls came up to Tomoe, trying to steal away his attention as he reminded himself to be polite yet firm.
"Why don't you walk us home today Tomoe? Y/n said you're not together so you can do whatever you want right?" The girl said as she pressed her chest against Tomoe's arm, he tried not show his disgust as another girl played his the hem of her skirt. Were human males so easily tempted by such things?
Y/n exited the toilets as she looked around for Tomoe before seeing him with the girls who had flagged her down earlier than day in gym class, she had panicked and told them to do whatever they wanted just so she could finish changing without them crowing her. Shrugging her shoulders she decided to wait outside the building for him, if he wanted to walk one of the girls home she would find out then but she didn't want to deal with his wrath if she walked by herself and left him to walk alone. Humming to herself she watched the rain as she sat on the step, going through her notes from class when a strong wind blew a few pages towards the bushes, standing up she quickly raced to get them before they got soaked. As her hand went to reach for the paper a white clawed hand collecting the paper, looking up she stared into the pale eyes of the male holding her papers, a smile on his face that made her feel uneasy as she stepped back.
"Here you go Y/n." His voice was smooth, white hair and eyelashes but she swore she knew those eyes from somewhere, taking the paper from his hand she spoke quietly.
"Thanks..." Y/n then frowned as she looked from her paper to him in confusion.
"Wait how did you know my name?" Y/n took another step back as the stranger grinned wide and stepped closer, his umbrella now closed and by his side.
"Why wouldn't i know the name of my beautiful bride?" Y/n panicked as she turned and went to run, her arm grasped before she could make it further than a step, with the hand on her she suddenly lost consciousness and fell into the yokai's arms.
Y/n woke up with a headache, pushing herself off the futon as she held her head eyes still closed, she tried to recall how she got back to the Shrine until she opened her eyes and the panic returned.
"Nope. Nope. Not good. Tomoe's gonna kill me." Y/n stood quickly, jumping as the door slid open and two spirits entered with too much energy for Y/n to process falling back onto her butt as they hovered over her.
"Hello Miss Y/n!" They cheered, each of them holding her cheeks as they pulled her about.
"You are a pretty human like Master Mizuki said!" Y/n slapped the hands away and crawled back, the spirits now pulling out bugs as they offered her something to eat making Y/n cringe as they dangling a centipede in front of her face.
"Good morning Miss Y/n." Y/n snapped her head to the door as it once more slid open, this time revealing the mysterious man from before, the spirits all cheered as he entered.
"Master Mizuki!" Y/n panicked as he came closer, Y/n stared at him as he stood over her with a gentle smile.
"I wanted to thank you for rescuing me the other day when i ventured into the school. It was very sweet of you." Wracking her brain Y/n recalled the snake she had saved over a week ago and her jaw dropped as she looked the yokai up and down.
"Hang on, you kidnapped me because i helped you?" Mizuki crouched and knelt before Y/n as he nodded and took her hands, Y/n stared at him as he spoke.
"Of course, you will be my beautiful bride. I am the familiar of this wonderful Shrine and now we can live here for eternity together. Isn't that wonderful?" Y/n felt a shiver go down her back as she yanked her hands back and scrambled backwards away from him, his eyes turning darker as he seemed to crawl towards her.
"I think you've got the wrong girl. I'm not marrying anyone! Especially not like this." Before Mizuki could reach her Y/n found her footing and got up, pushing her legs to run as fast as she could out the Shrine, the sky was a dark green as she sprinted into the forest. Mizuki stood at the entrance of the Shrine with a subtle smile on his face, she would be back before she knew it.
Panting Y/n rested against a tree, looking back at the vast forest behind her with a sigh, hopefully she had put enough distance between herself and the creepy familiar.
"I really need to listen to Tomoe more." Y/n placed a hand on her head pushing her hair out her face as she took deep breaths, she needed to continue running to keep the distance between herself and the snake. Shaking the slight ache out her muscles she continues running, trying to figure out how to get back to the main roads or atleast somewhere she could recognise.
Tomoe was seething, none of his flames could find his blasted God and his anger was reaching new heights as he imagined all the horrendous things that snake could be doing to her.
Y/n's eyes lit up as she saw lights, a burst of energy entering her body as she pushed herself to sprint again although the joy was quickly replaced by confusion as she noticed the Shrine. Mizuki and the spirits stood by the entrance, a gleeful smile on the snake's face as he walked towards her.
"What the hell." Y/n turned her head to see the forest she had ran into, her eyebrows knitted together as she turned back to the Shrine, Mizuki now stood before her with his hand outstretched.
"You must be exhausted my Lady. Please come and rest." Y/n thought about returning to the forest but it was now dark and she didn't know what lurked in the shadows, atleast here she knew where her danger was. Nodding she took his hand, his skin soft under hers, Mizuki blushed at her warmth in his hand and smiled walking her towards her bedroom.
"This our bedroom Lady Y/n. But i will let you rest now, i will not do anything you don't want me too." Y/n crossed her arms over her waist as she stared at the double futon, rose petals around the room with candles, this snake obviously had other ideas for how her kidnapping was meant to go.
"Thanks." Y/n mumbled out as she closed the door in his face, pushing her weight against it as she collapsed on the floor and stared at the room. She was deep in it now, with no way out she just had to pray Tomoe found her before the snake could marry her. Crawling to the futon she blushed dark red at the lingerie left for her, the thin white silk would barely cover anything as she quickly threw it across the room as though it burned. Mizuki definantly believed this kidnapping was going to go his way, shivering she crawled under the blankets in her uniform and tried to sleep. She tried to imagine she was in the Shrine, her spirits squabbling whilst Tomoe called her to wake up or he'd drag her out of bed but it only made her heart miss being free more. Eventually she fell into a dreamless sleep until morning when she awoke to a weight over her waist, cuddling into her pillow she mumbled for Kotetsu and Onikiri not to hide in her room if they upset Tomoe but when she felt a hand pull her closer her eyes snapped open.
"Good morning my beautiful bride, you looked so angelic i had to join you." Mizuki purred in her ear as he cuddled closer to her, Y/n bolted up, turning so her feet were between her and the snake as she gave him a horrified look.
"What are you doing in here! Y-you promised not to do anything unless i said so." Mizuki let out a small laugh as he blushed and hid his face, crawling towards Y/n, his hand grabbing her leg and pulling her under him. His face now nuzzling against her ribs and chest as she placed her hands on his shoulders and struggled to push him away with a yelp.
"I know but you just look so delicious, just let me have a taste, i know we should wait until we're married but what does it really matter? You're mine anyway." Y/n now full panicked as Mizuki placed a kiss on her waist and pinned her hands beside her, her legs kicking out as he climbed between them, her skirt pushing up as he sunk further down, eyes on her with a gleeful glint.
"Get your hands off my Mistress right now." Y/n's eyes lit up as the wall between the Shrine and there stood Tomoe, flames around him as he glared at Mizuki on top of Y/n, his eyes darting over her as he saw her skirt against her hips and the snake between her legs with fear in his eyes.
"Ho-how did you get here?" Mizuki shouted as he moved off Y/n allowing her to close her legs and push her skirt back down, scampering up and rushing to Tomoe as he held her against him.
"If it is for my Mistress i would move heaven and earth to find her. Now, it is time for punishment for touching her in such a disgraceful way." In a way only i should ever touch her, Tomoe thought as he began burning down the Shrine, Mizuki rushing out the Shrine towards a beautiful sakura tree, his eyes filled with tears as he turned to Tomoe.
"Please, do not harm my tree." Y/n felt pity as he guarded the tree, the spirits of the Shrine rushing to him as they cried out that their house was being destroyed. Y/n teared up as she pulled against Tomoe.
"Please Tomoe, i just wish to go home." But Tomoe would not listen, not when this snake had touched Y/n in such a way, not when she had been pinned down and almost dishonoured, all he saw was red as he conjured a fire ball.
"Thank you for showing me what you love most, i shall take great pleasure in watching it burn." Y/n's eyes widened as she shouted Tomoe's name and moved out his arm to stand in front of Mizuki and the tree.
"Stop! He has learnt his lesson!" Tomoe froze as he felt the cold wash of her words splash him, forcing his fire to distinguish as she stood before him. His hands balling up in anger as he stormed towards her, her head at his chest as they both glared at each other.
"This yokai touched you, he kidnapped you and almost disgraced you and you dare to stand in my way from destroying him?" Y/n placed her hands on his chest to try to soothe the angry kitsune as she shook her head and looked down.
"I know it sounds silly but please Tomoe. He knows what he did was wrong, don't take the last of his happiness because of me." Mizuki fell to his knees in tears as Tomoe stared down at Y/n, her head now turned to look at the broken familiar as he explained his God had died. It sparked pity and guilt in Y/n's chest, he was so lonely and wanted company, he had done wrong but he just wished for a Mistress to serve. Crouching down Y/n took his hand gently which made Tomoe's chest hurt in a way he wasn't used to as she promised to return and see him.
"You what?!"
Y/n stood sheepishly in front of Tomoe, now back in the Mikage Shrine as he once more lectured and shouted about how reckless she was and how dare she agree to see that pest!
"Come on Tomoe, everyone deserves a second chance." Y/n gave him a smile as she moved forward and lifted her hand to run it through his hair, her nails scratching his ears making his tail swish as he tried to keep his composure.
"Thank you for saving me, i don't know what i'd do without you y'know?" Y/n blushed as she complimented the fox, his eyes wide as she ran her nails along his ears making his body heat up and mind go blank before she let go and gave a small giggle.
"I'm going to have a bath and go to bed. I missed you all so much." Tomoe let her walk past him as her words ran around his mind, she had missed him. The words were like the first drink in the dessert, a meal after being starved for centuries and he was sure it would feed his desire for months.
Y/n laid on her futon, her hair now braided and half dry as she tossed and turned unable to settle, her door sliding open as she squinted and looked towards the light. Tomoe stood in the doorway, his kimono half open as he entered and slid the door closed behind him, Y/n now sat up and called out his name rubbing her eyes.
"Are you okay Tomoe?" Y/n mumbled as Tomoe crouched beside her, his eyes piercing into her soul before he pushed her lay back down and crawled into the futon next to her, her body still as she took in Tomoe cuddling her.
"Shh my Lady, go to sleep, i will keep you safe and warm." His hand came to pull her head into his chest as he wrapped around her, Y/n's eyes were wide as she stared at the pale skin that pressed into her cheek, she was sure this was some dream. Y/n gulped and nodded as she forced her eyes closed and tried to calm her beating heart, he was right, he was so warm and she hadn't realised she was cold until she was engulfed in his warmth. Tomoe wrapped his tail around Y/n's waist as she began to drift off, he was aware of how bold of a move he had made but could not find it in himself to care as he heard her breathing even out.
Tomoe glared at the sky as he watched the lightening strike closer each time it appeared, Y/n wrapped a raincoat around herself as she grabbed her school bag and her lunch, waving bye to Tomoe as he hummed back. The Shrine was to have a visitor who appeared to be in a bad mood, sighing he continued with his duties. Atleast Y/n would be at school and away from the God's anger as she was prone to be set off easily.
"Princess Narukami." Tomoe greeted as she grinned and walked into the Shrine.
"Hello Tomoe, when i heard the Shrine had a new Land God i did not expect to hear rumours of them being a puny human girl." Tomoe scowled at the insult to his Mistress, his hands tucked in the sleeves of his kimono as Narukami walked around the Shrine.
"That damned man, stealing Tomoe away from me and then leaving him in the hands of this little girl. I won't forgive him." Narukami shouted as she picked up a picture of Y/n throwing it against the wall as she stormed out. Tomoe's eyes widened as he rushed to follow the angry God.
Y/n watched the lightening as it seemed to get closer, bored out of her brain as she barely listened to the teacher, her mind recalling Tomoe saying the Shrine was to have a visitor. She wished she could have stayed home but she had a test today she could not miss, not that Tomoe had tried to convince her to stay which was off since he tried to keep her close at all times. Shrugging Y/n looked down at the pages she had scribbled in and sighed, jumping at the lightening seemed to strike directly outside the window.
"Y/N L/N!" Y/n jumped back as the window next to her smashed, the room turning dark as a woman appeared with lightening flashing around her, Y/n fell back and stared up in shock at the God.
"You do not deserve the title of God and i am here to relieve you of the burden." Y/n crawled back as the God got closer, bending down and gripping Y/n's face as she flinched, this was how she was going to die. But instead of violent murder a kiss was gently placed on her head, and Y/n's eyes opened as the God moved back, the gold glow following her as Y/n watched her Godhood be taken.
"Let go of her!" Tomoe shouted, throwing fire at Princess Narukami, causing the angry goddess to move back from Y/n as Tomoe caught her, looking over her as he cradled her face.
"Tomoe." Y/n whispered with a small smile as the kitsune sighed in relief that she was still alive, glaring at Princess Narukami as she looked down at him with a smug smile.
"Come Tomoe and be my obedient Familiar." Tomoe growled as Y/n gripped his arm, his anger rising.
"No." Princess Narukami deadpanned before a malicious grin came over her face, a mallet appearing in her hand as she hit Tomoe over the head with it. Y/n shouted out as smoke appeared around Tomoe until it cleared and in his place was...a child Tomoe? Y/n caught him as he fell back, his eyes wide as he looked at himself in horror.
"If you wish to be restored to your true body come to Mikage's Shrine and seal the contract." Princess Narukami laughed as she left, leaving Y/n holding Tomoe as she stared out the window.
Y/n sat on the bench with Tomoe's head in her lap, fussing over him as his temperature seemed to rise by the minute.
"Huh? Y/n?" Kurama's voice jolted Y/n as she looked up at him, the popstar pushing back his hair as he gave her a cheeky grin.
"What are you doing outside my apartment building? Did you want to come cuddle with me instead of that stupid fox?" Kurama winked at Y/n before a leaf hit him harshly in the face making him scream out as Tomoe sat up on Y/n's lap and glared at him. Kurama stared at Tomoe for a moment before bursting out in laughter, Tomoe now crossed his arms as Y/n wrapped her arms around him and stood.
"You live here Kurama?" Kurama composed himself and nodded, looked down at Tomoe as Y/n explained what happened with the Mallet, her Godhood and now baby Tomoe's temperature.
"Well you're more than welcome to stay the night with me Y/n but the damn fox can freeze out here for all i care. But don't worry, i'll keep you company." Kurama grinned as he got closer, his nose almost touching Y/n's when another leaf landed on his nose causing it to burst into a nose bleed, his body jumping back as he shouted at Tomoe.
"I won't leave Tomoe out here." Y/n declared which made Kurama sigh before agreeing to the fox coming into his apartment aswell.
Y/n's jaw dropped as she entered, looking around as she carried Tomoe towards the bedroom.
"This is my bedroom, you can stay here tonight Y/n but the kitsune can sleep on the floor, i can keep you warm." Kurama purred out as he took a string of Y/n's hair between his fingers and went to nuzzle her neck. Y/n glared at him as she walked over and placed Tomoe on the bed, his eyes glaring deeply into Kurama as he watched Y/n bend over in her school skirt.
"He is not sleeping on the floor! If i'm staying in this bed so is he." Kurama huffed as he looked at Tomoe and conceded, not like the little guy would stop him from being able to make a move on Y/n, even if she wasn't a God she was still hot and he wanted to bite the forbidden fruit so bad. As though Tomoe could hear his thoughts another leaf smacked Kurama as Y/n called out and they all began shouting at each other until Tomoe collapsed, Y/n panicking as she told Kurama to get some cold water and a flannel.
Kurama sat on the bed as Y/n placed the flannel on Tomoe's head.
"Why will his fever not go down?" Y/n questioned as she moved Tomoe's hair and caressed his little face before she looked at Kurama.
"The mallet only changed his body, his powers are still running rampant and his small body can't handle it. He won't get better until he becomes normal again." Y/n bit her lip as she looked back at Tomoe, Kurama moved over to his bedside, collecting a pill as he explained it would help, shoving it into Tomoe's mouth as Y/n gasped. Tomoe clenched down on Kurama's finger as he screamed out and threw Tomoe onto the floor, Y/n rushing over and picking him up as she scolded Kurama.
Y/n fussed more over Tomoe, the soup he had taught her to make being spoon fed to him as Kurama leaned against the doorway watching, mumbling to himself about the damn fox. Y/n changed the flannel on Tomoe's head, placing a gentle kiss in his skin as she begged him to get better, standing as she awkwardly rubbed her arm. Kurama stood in his pjs watching her as she looked up at him with an adorable expression that he was sure she didn't know she was giving.
"Umm, can i borrow some clothes to sleep in please?" Tomoe's ears perked as he opened his eyes and looked at Kurama's smug face, handing her a shirt and some boxer shorts which made Y/n's face go red as she thanked him and scurried to the bathroom. Kurama turned to Tomoe as he huffed.
"Go sleep on the sofa or something fox." Tomoe glared at him as Y/n came back in, the boxers peeking out the oversized shirt as he tried not to stare at her nipples poking through the thin material, her clothes neatly folded but both Kurama and Tomoe could see the frills of her underwear poking out as she placed them down. Smiling at them both she sat next to Tomoe and checked his temperature, her eyes sparkling as she looked at Kurama in joy.
"His fevers gone down! The tablet must have worked thank you Kurama." Y/n beamed as she grabbed the flannel and replaced it with a cold one, Tomoe staring at Y/n as she tucked him in.
"Well i guess we'd better get into bed then Y/n." Y/n's face went red as she turned to look at Kurama, a smirk on his face as his wings expanded.
"Huh? I thought you'd sleep on the sofa." Y/n chuckled awkwardly as Kurama deadpanned, grabbing a pillow as he offered it to Y/n.
"This is my bed, i'm not sleeping on the sofa, if you don't want to join me then you can take yourself to the sofa and put that pest on the floor." Y/n pouted as she looked at Tomoe, his eyes now closed as she ran her hand through his hair.
"Fine. But stick to your side alright?" Kurama grinned as he pulled the blanket back, his wings taking up half the bed whilst Tomoe took up the other half, Y/n bit her lip as she climbed in, the shirt crawling up her body as she laid down making Kurama lick his lips at how her body looked in his boxers. This must have been some kind of wet dream, if only Tomoe wasn't here he would believe it, instead Y/n placed a pillow between her and Kurama and cuddled up to Tomoe's body. Huffing Kurama crossed his arms and turned to face the other way, so much for running his hands up and down her legs until she was panting and asking him for more.
Y/n woke up as she felt small hands tug on the shirt she wore, yawning she looked down at Tomoe's little body curled into her chest, his hands gripping the shirt as he breathed evenly. A sudden tug made her aware of the arm around her waist and warmth on her back, looking down she saw black nails against her naked skin where the shirt had ridden up exposing her midriff, her face turned dark red as her ears burnt, trying to shift away from him she heard Kurama groan and pull her closer. His face now nuzzled in the nape of her neck as he moaned, his nails now grazing her stomach as he rolled his hips into her butt. Holding her breath Y/n stayed deadly still before the hands loosened and Kurama turned over mumbling something before snoring. Letting out a breath she looked down at Tomoe, jolting up as she saw his face red, her breasts smothering his little face as she pulled him free. Tomoe taking a deep breath as Kurama fell off the bed at the sudden panicked movements, holding his head he sat up seeing Y/n fussing over Tomoe whose eyes were wide.
"I'm so sorry Tomoe! I didn't mean to suffocate you." Kurama's jaw dropped as he realised the lucky fox had been face deep in Y/n's chest, glaring at Tomoe as he looked away trying to hide his embarrassment. Damned Fox Kurama thought.
"Why are you cooking whatever he wants?" Y/n turned her head to where Kurama sat, tilting her head in confusion.
"He always does everything for me and makes sure i'm okay, this is nothing compared to what he does for me." Y/n grinned a she rolled the rice into balls and placed them on the plate, she wasn't quite sure if she'd made them right but hopefully he would enjoy them. Kurama watched in envy as she took them through to Tomoe, sitting him up and watching as he ate them, Y/n beaming with pride as he praised her for the cooking. Kurama walked in as Y/n stroked Tomoe's hair before he smacked her hand away.
"You must be on your guard with him. He is not so innocent." Y/n waved her hand away before Kurama grabbed one of Tomoe's ears.
"Talking about me huh?" Kurama laughed as Tomoe fell over, Y/n picking him up and cradling him to her chest.
"Don't be so rough with him!" Y/n chastised as Kurama pushed his hair back and looked at Tomoe.
"Getting Y/n to come to your aid, not bad Tomoe. Anyway i need to get to rehearsal, find a way to get that mallet or he won't make it more than a few days." Y/n nodded as she placed Tomoe down and moved to clean the kitchen. Tomoe stood by the window as Kurama mouthed to him. His eyes going wide as he looked down in shame, he was supposed to protect Y/n and instead she was caring for him in his useless body.
Y/n heard the door closed as she turned, calling out to Tomoe she found the bedroom empty, rushing to the window she watched as he walked towards Princess Narukami's spirits and left. Her jaw dropped as she rushed to dress, pulling on her uniform and rushing out the apartment. As she stood where he had been she felt tears in her eyes, he had gone to Narukami, he must have truly been desperate.
"Oh Tomoe i knew you'd come back!" Tomoe was lifted from the floor as Narukami cuddled him into her chest and he couldn't help but recall how much softer Y/n had been when she cuddled him.
"You are so cute like this but i much prefer you in your true form, so big and strong. Now. Seal the contract with me and be mine forever." Narukami declared as she let go of Tomoe, closing her eyes and pouting before she opened her eyes to an empty hallway.
"Tomoe!" She screamed as she sent her lion spirits to search for him.
Y/n sat on the bench outside Kurama's her knees draw to her chest as she stared at the ground, a blue butterfly landing on her shoulder as Kurama approached.
"What are you doing out here?" He questioned as she raised her head, the redness around her eyes betraying her.
"Tomoe left. He went to the Shrine." Kurama's eyebrows rose as he sighed out before handing Y/n a feather, Y/n took it gently.
"They have been with you since you arrived and i'm sick of being the only one to hear them." Y/n gasped as Onikiri and Kotetsu appeared.
"Lady Y/n!" They cried as Y/n hugged them, both of the spirits crying out about Tomoe as Y/n tried to listen.
"Tomoe is hiding away!"
"He refused to be her familiar and she is going to destroy the Shrine."
"Please help!"
Y/n stood by the entrance of the Shrine as she watched the poor lion spirits be shocked.
"Find me Tomoe!" Princess Narukami screamed as she turned and spotted Y/n.
"I have a deal for you." The Princess' eyebrow raised as Y/n gulped and stepped forward.
"If i can find Tomoe you give me back my Godhood and return Tomoe to normal." Princess Narukami thought about it for minute before agreeing.
"Agreed. But if my spirits find him before you, you can stay as a lowly servant for the rest of your miserable human life. You have 30 minutes. Y/n nodded quickly as she ran inside the Shrine, hunting for Tomoe, calling out to him but it was no use. She only had 10 minutes before she would become a servant regardless if anyone found him. Onikiri and Kotetsu popped up as Y/n was losing hope, shushing Y/n as they directed her to the table, a small mirror surrounded in butterflies laid hidden under a book. As she removed the book she saw Tomoe, his little body laid down and his body covered in a red flush, gasping she held a hand over her mouth.
"You need to retrieve him." Onikiri whispered before they disappeared, Y/n bit her lip as she pushed a hand into the mirror, begging Tomoe to take her hand as she willed him to come out.
"Tomoe." Y/n whispered as she held him in her arms, his body boiling as he struggled to breathe, rushing out the Shrine she called out Princess Narukami.
"I have Tomoe!" The lightening God huffed as she snapped her eyes to her spirits, a silent threat that they would be paying for this.
"Fine. I am a woman of my word and i do not want him if he does not want me." Princess Narukami bent down and placed a kiss on Y/n's forehead, bestowing her Godhood once again.
"They'll explain how to fix him." With that she left, her spirit holding the mallet up to Y/n with wide eyes.
"Swing the mallet and will him to be big again." Y/n nodded as she held the mallet, swinging it at Tomoe as she shouted out for him to grow.
Tomoe grew instantly, the smoke clearing as Y/n stared at him, his hair now long which enhanced his beauty making Y/n turn red as the lion spirit took the mallet and left. Y/n gulped as Tomoe looked at her, the Shrine's energy now clean and the repairs fixed within seconds of Tomoe being normal once more.
"You look...beautiful." Y/n stuttered out as Tomoe approached her, pushing her hair out her face before he cupped her face.
"Thank you Mistress." Y/n didn't have time to react before his lips sealed over hers, her hands coming to touch his chest as he hungrily pressed into her, deepening the contracts kiss until he pulled away against his own desires. Y/n's eyes opened as she watched him become a familiar once more, her hand moving to her lips as she bit them. He had sealed the contract once more, and yet that did not feel like a contractual kiss.
Y/n was struggling to not stare at Tomoe as he stood in the garden, the broom he leaned against whilst a butterfly landed on his hand was what he had been doing. Now he stood gracefully, his long hair tied behind his head, sun beaming down on him like he was being blessed by the Gods and Y/n couldn't help the rush of arousal that ran through her veins. She blamed the contract kiss for the confusing emotions, or maybe she was coming down with a fever, that had to be it, that's why she was rubbing her thighs together as she watched him. She couldn't ever call him a pervert again whilst she was doing this. Tomoe turned his head to Y/n as he smelt her sweet arousal, his whole body reacting to her as she jumped and scrambled inside hiding away from Tomoe as he chuckled.
"My sweet Mistress. One day you will beg me to follow you and that will be the day i finally break." Tomoe looked at the sky as he inhaled still able to smell her sweet aroma, the butterfly flying away as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the moment.
Y/n sighed as she laid in her futon, her shirt rode up as she tossed and turned until she finally stood, pulling her shirt over her underwear as she left her bedroom. Entering Tomoe’s bedroom she found him reading a book under candle light, his eyes finding hers as she shuffled her feet around.
“Can i sleep in here please?” Y/n whispered but Tomoe heard clear as day, his ear twitching as he nodded, his eyes raking along her half naked body as she scampered into the futon and turned her back to him.
Tomoe grinned as he leant close to her neck, his hand coming to her thigh as he placed a kiss on her neck, his canines gently pressing into her skin.
"Thank you for looking after me Mistress. I owe you." Tomoe purred out, his tail coming to caress her legs as she closed her eyes, his nails now gently running up and down her thigh as he nuzzled her neck. Y/n let out a quiet moan as she rubbed her legs together, Tomoe preening at her bodies response to him until Y/n's eyes opened and she slammed a hand over her mouth. Tomoe let out a laugh as she rolled onto her stomach and away from his ministrations.
"You're so mean." Y/n mumbled into the pillow as Tomoe stared at her, how the moonlight lit up her skin and each freckle and curve was his to take in, including her cute frilled underwear which made his mind go feral. Forcing himself to control himself he laid down on his back, one arm over his eyes as the other ran through her hair.
"Goodnight Y/n." Y/n turned her head to see him relaxed, moving to lay her head on his arm and cuddle into his side as she whispered goodnight back and settled into sleep.
Y/n laughed with Ami and Kei as they walked home, Kei was going on about her amazing boyfriend and teasing Ami as she blushed whenever Kei implied more.
"Oh come on Ami, you're telling me you've never wanted to kiss a guy? I mean Y/n back me up here you think about kissing Tomoe all the time right?" Y/n went red as her mouth opened and closed in panic at Kei's words, Kei let out a laugh as Ami rushed to poke Y/n.
"Come on you're so obvious Y/n." Kei joked as Y/n closed her mouth and began shaking her head.
"I don't think about kissing Tomoe! I just..." Y/n went silent as she realised how much she thought about Tomoe, sometimes it was kissing which she could admit to her friends but she couldn't admit all the other dirty thoughts and feelings she had. The worst part was most of the thoughts were based on things Tomoe had done to her, his act so innocent and caring and here she was being perverted towards him.
"It's normal to think about it Ami, don't let Kei scare you." Y/n finally spoke as she reached over and flicked Kei's forehead making the girl yelp and a friendly argument begin.
Y/n walked into the Shrine, her thoughts away from her as she noticed Tomoe sat with a mirror, his nails raking through his now short hair as Y/n's jaw dropped. Tomoe turned with a smirk to look at Y/n before his face dropped to one of a confused at her face.
"Is something wrong?" Y/n wanted to cry as she got closer and ran her hands through his hair, thinking about all the things she hadn't been able to do with his glorious long hair.
"You cut it." Y/n whispered with a pout as she imagined brushing his hair, braiding it, washing it. Tomoe scowled as he stood up, looking down at Y/n as she continued to pout.
"Are you upset i cut my hair?" Y/n nodded before she looked away and sighed then smiled at Tomoe.
"I'm only a little sad because you have gorgeous hair and i was hoping to brush and braid it but i understand it's your hair so you can do as you wish. It looks lovely short as well so please don't worry." Tomoe smirked as he leant down.
"If you want to brush my hair so bad why didn't say? I still have a tail." The last few words came out as a purr as Y/n gulped and looked at his swaying tail in awe, she really hoped this wasn't some cruel joke as she nodded quickly.
Y/n sat happily as she slowly brushed the fur on Tomoe's tail, his book in his hand as he read, the pair in silence as they enjoyed each other's company.
Y/n sat with Ami and Kei as they talked about their plans for the weekend, Kei had just broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to go to the beach to see all the cute boys and show him she was worth more than him. Y/n smiled as she agreed although she could feel Tomoe's gaze in the back of her head as she explained she didn't have a swimsuit, Kei grinned deeply as she agreed to bring one for her.
Tomoe grumbled as he walked on the sand, Mizuki next to him as Y/n ran towards Ami and Kei, the latter glaring at the boys as she loudly protesting to them being there saying they would deter all the cuties. Y/n laughed it off and said they'd stay out their way, Kei relented with a pout and handed Y/n a bag before shooing her to the dressing rooms. Y/n waved the boys off as Tomoe laid on a sunbed in the shade, a book in his hands as Mizuki commented on all the cute girls.
"What do you think?" Y/n spoke as she twirled before Ami and Kei, Ami gushing over Y/n in the light blue bikini which seemed to fit every curve and notch of her body perfectly.
"Wow, doesn't Y/n look amazing? I see everyone else here thinks the same way as well." Mizuki teased as he leant over and watched Tomoe glaring at the males who openly gawked at his Mistress's body, much the same as Tomoe was doing from behind his book. He could not tear his eyes from her as she pulled the hair band from her hair and splashed in the ocean with the two girls, her breasts bouncing as she jumped around and squealed at the cold water hitting against her body. This was torture to watch her be so carefree, so innocent to men as some boys got closer, Kei happily inviting them over as Y/n climbed out and ran towards Tomoe and Mizuki. Her bikini holding her in as she bounced and stopped before the two men, Mizuki now grinning widely as he stood and placed a hand around her waist whilst Y/n gave Tomoe sparkling eyes.
"Would you like to join us Tomoe? The water is lovely." Y/n grinned, her head tilting as Tomoe pulled the book up higher to hide the dark blush on his face and the irritable glare he was trying to hold in at Mizuki's hand almost touching her bikini bottoms where they tied perfectly on her hips.
"No thank you Y/n." Y/n pouted slightly before shrugging and leaning over Tomoe to pat his head, her hands finding where his ears were concealed to give them a small scratch of appreciation. His eyes now staring at her chest as she bent over him, teasing him with no knowledge of the power she held before she stood straight and waved at him.
"Have fun Tomoe." Mizuki sing songed as he followed Y/n into the water, the fox now overcome with jealousy as he watched Mizuki and the other males flirt and splash with Y/n as she held Ami's hands and spun her in circles in the water. She looked angelic and he wished deeply to pick her up and hold her body against his to show everyone she was his but he could not enter the water. His past self was being cursed as he glared at the water in disgust.
Y/n giggled as she let go of Ami, allowing her to paddle around as she went for a swim, Kei busy flirting with the boys as she ran her hands along one of their abs and winked at him, she was too good at it honestly. Y/n stared up at the sky as she swam backwards, it was so calm and beautiful she could stay in the ocean forever if she could breathe underwater. Closing her eyes she drifted out before she felt the current pick up, forcing her to open her eyes and look around as the waves rolled in, panic setting in as she heard Ami trying to swim closer to the shore. Swimming towards her friend Y/n tried to maintain composure, if she panicked she'd drown, just as she reached Ami she was dragged under, Y/n watched in terror as her hands disappeared into the water and didn't waste a moment before screaming out and diving under to find her friend. Tomoe sat up straight up as he heard Y/n's voice, searchign the ocean as he watched the waves crash harshly against the rocks, Kei and Mizuki now rushing to him as Kei explained Ami had gone under and Y/n was trying to get to her. Tomoe raced towards the water, his feet almost in when Y/n emerged, her head bursting through the water as she coughed and spluttered, spinning around until she locked eyes with Tomoe.
"Tomoe!" Before she could continue her sentence the kitsune was diving into the water, his body disappearing for a minute as Y/n dived under trying to spot either Ami or Tomoe but was forced up by the waves as she swam to shore trying to get the water from her lungs. Kei ran to Y/n trying to help her up as she coughed and clung to her friend both of them staring as the water became calm, it felt like hours passed before Tomoe surfaced, Ami in his arms. Y/n called out to Tomoe and Ami as he carried her to shore, both girls throwing her arms around the pink haired girl as they checked on her. Y/n breaking away and throwing her arms around Tomoe as she thanked him, his hands gingerly coming to hold her waist as she pressed her wet body against his and for a moment he forgot his feet still stayed in the water.
"Hahaha! The Great Tomoe finally has made a fatal mistake." The sky darkened as Y/n and Tomoe turned, his hands clutching at her as they watched a yokai exit the water, half fish with an eyepatch and long hair. Y/n's eyes widened as she turned her head to see all the humans passed out, Tomoe's grip tightening on Y/n as he held her close to him, his eyes glaring at the Dragon King as he laughed.
"Here you are, right before i gave up trying to find you. I have been waiting a lifetime for you enter the waters Tomoe." The man shouted with a deep grin as Y/n scowled.
"Who are you?" Y/n shouted as Tomoe pushed her behind him.
"I thought you'd never ask. I am the Dragon King ruler of the sea! Now if you'll excuse me for just a moment whilst i retrieve a debt from an old friend." Y/n placed her hands on Tomoe's arm as he kept her a distance from him.
"A debt...if i only i knew what that meant." Tomoe's voice smooth and calm before the Dragon King laughed, yokai appearing from the water as their tendrils grabbed Tomoe flying him high in the air.
"Tomoe!"
"I am more than happy to remind you, you ignorant fox! Exactly 526 years 208 days ago at 18 minutes and 41 seconds past 2am a certain yokai fox called Tomoe wiped out 7 dragons, 3 sharks, 5 rays and one sea slug at the north gate of my Palace. He then destroyed the north gate and surrounding buildings and finally he stole my right eye and fled! It is tome for you pay it back!" As he finished his speech he called out the oyster, shoving Tomoe inside with a laugh as Y/n ran towards the sea shouting for Tomoe.
"You will slowly turn into sustenance for the oyster and i shall return in a day or so to a lovely big pearl. Now let us head back for a celebration!"
"Wait hold on!" Y/n shouted as she approached the Dragon King, his eyebrow raising as he looked around.
"Why are you awake?" He questioned as Y/n picked up a rock and threw it at him, the Dragon King easily dodging it as she shouted at him.
"I am Y/n L/N Land God of the Mikage Shrine and Tomoe is my Familiar now release him at once." The Dragon King let out a loud laugh as he bent over clutching his stomach before standing and wiping a fake tear from his eye.
"No can do little girl now run along." Y/n scowled as she saw the oyster begin delving deep, panicking she gripped it with all her might holding her breath as it dragged her under. Y/n recalled how Tomoe had said he couldn't enter the ocean and now because of her he was captured. As she struggled to breathe she tried to push through it until she felt hands grip her body forcing her out the water as she coughed up water.
"Your persistence is obnoxious." Y/n opened her eyes to stare at the Dragon King before he dragged her to a near by rock, placing her down as she coughed more water up, her eyes darting to him as she glared.
"Where is he?" Y/n demanded, now crawling towards the Dragon King as he laid his head against his hand and looked at her in boredom.
"I had the sea slugs relocate him, he's far far away. Yes i did carry you to safety now you owe me." He placed a paper down as Y/n scowled gripping in her hand before she chucked it behind her, the Dragon King rolling his eye before placing another down making Y/n hit her hand on the rock in annoyance.
"Fine! Whatever could you possibly want huh? Just give me Tomoe back!" The Dragon King stared her down as he explained his debt.
"I want my eye returned, that fox stole it years ago and i demand it back. I had defeat carved into my face by that useless yokai." Y/n leaned forward as she stuck out her hand.
"I get your eye and you give me Tomoe yes?" The Dragon King let out a laugh as he put his hand out.
"It won't be that simple, my eye has been gone for 526 years. Do you really think it possible to retrieve my eye after so long?" Y/n nodded as she grabbed his hand, shaking it firmly with a determined look.
"If it's to save Tomoe i will accomplish anything."
"Fine, but i am only holding onto the fox as collateral for two days." Y/n nodded as the Dragon King dove under the water leaving her on the rock as she sighed out.
"Damn you Tomoe, why did you have to be such an idiot 500 years ago." Y/n looked up at the sky as she climbed back into the water and swam to shore. She needed to find Mizuki and fast, she only had 2 days before Tomoe would become a pearl. Y/n ran towards the beach as she found Mizuki and her friends all panicked as they called out to both Y/n and Tomoe.
"I'm here!" The girls ran to Y/n hugging her as she quickly lied that her and Tomoe had been swept ashore further along the coat and Tomoe was on his way to the Shrine. Grabbing Mizuki she hid behind a beach hut pressing him against the wood as she looked up at him.
"The Dragon King has Tomoe, i need to find his eye that Tomoe stole 526 years ago. I have 2 days before he turns Tomoe into a pearl!" Y/n whisper shouted as Mizuki pulled her into a hug, a smile on his face as he almost jumped with joy at the idea of the fox being gone allowing him to move in on Y/n.
"Oh that is so awful Lady Y/n, it is such a shame there is nothing we can do to save him." Y/n pulled out his arms and hit his chest as she scowled at him.
"I know you have that time travel thing. I need it to go back in time and find him." Mizuki was shocked as he nodded quickly, turned on and a little fearful of Y/n's determination as she pulled him towards the lodge.
"Come on."
Y/n sat across from Mizuki as she explained what had happened as well as the debt Tomoe owed. Mizuki scowled as he sighed.
"I have to ask you a question. Do you love Tomoe?" Y/n's eyes bulged out her head as she stood quickly, her face bright red as she shook her hands.
"What! Whe-where did get that idea from?" Mizuki let a small laugh out as he looked down.
"One of your friends told me. They said you changed a lot after Tomoe came around and i have to admit i am jealous. I feel so much envy of that fox, i do not believe he deserves such a kind and beautiful Mistress. It does not matter to me whether he were to stay in the ocean or be rescued but i will do this for you. To show you my devotion to you and only you." Y/n rubbed her arm as she listened to Mizuki's confession, her cheeks blazing as he collected his items and burnt the sage to begin the adventure to the past.
"I shall accompany you to the past to keep you safe, but i do not think it is wise to anger Tomoe's past self as he was a blood thirsty murderer." Y/n nodded as she inhaled the scent, her eyes slowly drifting closed as Mizuki placed a t shirt over her bikini to cover her in the world over yonder.
Y/n woke up in a dark area, standing up as she looked down at herself, she was all in one piece with a long top covering herself as she began walking around.
"The eye! You have the Dragon King's eye!" Y/n screamed as Yokai grabbed her legs, a lady gripping her tightly as she clawed at her stomach.
"Give me the eye!" Y/n smacked the Yokai as hard as she could, trying to push the lady from her body as she kept screaming about an eye. Y/n fell to the ground as the Lady's clawed hands came towards her stomach with wide eyes and a menacing grin. Y/n panicked as she shoved her foot against the Yokai's face making her fall backwards before a blue flame smashed into the Yokai, the lady screeching as the flame chased her away.
"Stupid wench." A voice spoke.
Suddenly a yokai dropped before her, gasping she froze as the yokai turned, long white hair and white ears perked up as Tomoe grinned at her. Y/n was in shock as she stood from the ground on shaky legs, stepping back as he looked her up and down.
"Well well, what is a young human doing here?" He purred as he walked closer, she had not seen his long hair since he had cut it and was once more mesmerised by his beauty, she stayed frozen as he approached her. Y/n's eyes were wide as his clawed hand came up to her face, her hair twirled around his fingers before he tugged her into him, forcing her to look up at him as she yelped in pain.
"You smell so delicious." Tomoe took a deep breath in as he smelt her hair, something in him recognised the scent but he couldn't pin point it, almost like he was smelling something so familiar it should have been obvious.
"To-Tomoe, can you let go please?" Y/n whispered as she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back slightly but he didn't move instead he flashed her a sharp grin and tightened his grip.
"So you know who i am puny human? And what pray tell made you search for me hmm?" Y/n could feel her blushing as he brought his face closer running his nose along her cheek as he inhaled her scent once more, it was irritating him that he could not place the smell on her.
"I...i need the Dragon King's eye." Y/n stuttered out as she felt his tail wrap around her legs, reminding her of the night she had spent asleep next to Tomoe, his tail tickling her thighs as he slept. Tomoe's eyes widened as he pulled back and stared at her with a look she couldn't decipher before she felt her hair be yanked hard making her cry out in pain as his other hand gripped her waist, nails digging into the shirt she wore.
"You were sent by the Dragon King to seduce me and steal the eye hmm? Well then, i guess it is time for you to die." Y/n dug her nails into his chest as she pushed him back, trying to get out of the harsh hold he had on her before she freed her hand and managed to grab his ear. Tomoe froze as she tugged on his ear and shouted.
"Bad boy! Don't be so mean!" Y/n chastised as she recalled all the times she had to part Kurama and Tomoe by dragging their ears and how it worked so easily each time. Y/n pulled his head down as he quickly let go, almost compelled by something deep in him as Y/n glared at the fox.
"Say you're sorry!" Y/n shouted as she placed a hand on her waist, the fox yokai's eyes wide as his mouth opened and closed confused.
"Sorry." Tomoe rushed out as he felt another tug on his ear, Y/n huffing as she loosened her grip and rubbed his ear until his cheeks went red with a small smile.
"Good boy Tomoe. Now, can i have the eye please?" Y/n asked sweetly as she now caressed his hair, his eyes still wide and now his whole body seemed to be that of a tamed cat compared to the wild fox that had been stood before her.
"Tomoe!" A deep voice called, Tomoe now standing to full height forcing Y/n to let go of his ear as he pulled her behind him, his tail curled around her.
"I am busy Akura-ou." Tomoe spoke to the unknown yokai, Y/n trying to see as she clutched at his Kimono to try to look receiving a smack on the thighs from Tomoe's tail in warning.
"Too bad. I am ready to move on, this place is boring. I want some fresh blood. The girls in this village did not satiate my urge." Y/n gulped as her eyes closed, she wished she wasn't here but hoped whoever the Yokai was he wouldn't notice her.
"What is that delicious smell? Are you hiding something from me Tomoe? I thought brother's shared everything." Y/n could hear the smirk as Tomoe pulled her around in front of him, her face in a panic as her eyes met the Yokai, his hair red and horns coming out his head whilst he dressed in a long black feathered coat. Y/n squeaked as Tomoe pulled her into his chest, his hands on her waist as he gripped her tightly.
"Not this one, this one is going to be mine. And i plan to force every noise i can out of those pretty lips." Y/n looked at Tomoe in fear as he grinned down at her, his claws pushing into her waist as he pressed her against his front. Akura-ou let out a laugh as he got closer, his hand coming out to hold the same strand of hair Tomoe had, but his claws were longer and painted black, his energy was darker aswell which made Y/n lean back into Tomoe as the yokai smelt her hair.
"You're no fun Tomoe, she looks like she'd burst in your mouth so easily." Y/n blushed red at his insinuation, gulping as he moved his claw to run along her lips before slicing her lower lip, she winced as he ran a finger through the blood and brought it to her mouth. Moaning to himself with eyes closed as she sucked her lip into her mouth tasting the metallic blood on her tongue as his eyes opened.
"Such a shame. Well, i will continue on, i'll try to leave you some fun at the next village if you don't too much time with her." Akura-ou let out a deep laugh as he left, Y/n felt Tomoe's grip loosen allowing her to turn to face him as he lightly held her face inspecting the cut on her lips.
"You owe me for saving your life human." Tomoe swiped his thumb across her lip and placed it in mouth as he walked past her, leaving her stumped as she blinked in confusion.
"Tomoe!" Y/n shouted as she spun but he gone, sighing she ran her hands through her hair.
"Are you okay Y/n? Did you meet Tomoe?" Y/n jumped as Mizuki appeared behind her his eyes full of concern as he rushed to her side, a small drop of blood made it's way from her hip to her thigh as Mizuki fussed over her but Y/n had her mind on other things.
"I found him but i couldn't get the eye." Mizuki nodded as he checked her wound, it was only a small claw mark but he was furious with Tomoe, that damned fox had manhandled Y/n. Standing straight he looked around to see if he could spot him but by now he was long gone and Y/n wasn't sure what to do.
"Which way did he go?" Y/n shrugged as she looked in defeat at the floor, she should have chased after him but he'd made her feel some way inside that she didn't understand. She shouldn't feel so weird hearing him talk about her or touch her that way, her Tomoe had touched her in far more delicate areas, but this wasn't her Tomoe. This was the past and she didn't know what he'd do if she found him again, the way he'd looked at her was now engraved in her mind and some part of her wanted to know how he'd have gotten her make all the noises he wanted to hear from her.
"I've found his tracks come on Y/n." Mizuki pulled the girl out of her thoughts as he ran towards the village, Y/n could hear the screaming and crying of villagers as the flames burned in her eyes, thick smoke coated the air. Coughing Y/n wiped her eyes and searched for Tomoe but he wasn't in sight, letting out an aggravated shout Y/n turned around stomping her foot before she froze. In the slight distance a pale blue flame burned inside a house, but unlike the village that was being torn down the flame appeared to be staying still. Y/n ran towards the light as Mizuki followed, the pair creeping towards the house as Y/n let out a yelp as she heard a door slam. Tomoe stood by the back door, his eyes staring into the forest as he took in the smoke and terror Akura-ou was creating across the way, sighing he shook his head and reentered. Y/n crouched by the window, watching as Tomoe approached a young human girl, her Y/c hair laid against the pale wood and skin looked greyish as she coughed and stared at Tomoe with lidded eyes. Y/n held a hand over her mouth as Tomoe tried to feed the Dragon King's eye to the girl but she refused, Tomoe shook his head explaining it would save her and they could be together forever. Y/n couldn't believe her eyes as Tomoe left to find something to help the eye go down, Mizuki gripping Y/n as he pulled her into the house.
"Tomoe risked his life to save hers?" Y/n whispered as she watched the girl, her eyes now closed and her breath was laboured, the Dragon King's eyes rest in her palm.
"Take the eye Y/n before he comes back." Y/n crouched down holding the eye as she looked between her hand and the poor girl, she didn't know what she would call the feeling in her chest. Maybe Jealousy or Envy, but she couldn't call it that, Tomoe risked his life for her time and time again, he chose to be her Familiar. But would he do it all if she wasn't a God? If she was human like the girl on the ground. Gulping Y/n ignored Mizuki as he tried to rush her, hovering over the girl as she grasped her lips and placed the Dragon King's eye in her mouth. Mizuki watched in disgust as Y/n threw away her chance of saving Tomoe to save the life of the pitiful human, Y/n was too human, she had too many morals and loyalty to those she didn't know. It sickened him that she could not be selfish like he could, like Tomoe could, they were here because of Tomoe's selfish behaviour.
Y/n huffed as she sat in the beach house, rubbing her head as she tried to come up with ways to get the Eye in the present day, she'd had enough lectures from Mizuki for a life time and now she just wanted to hit the Dragon King over the head and demand Tomoe back to save the headache. She recounted the events in the past back to Mizuki before she froze, her eyes lighting up and she stood quickly and grabbed his hands.
"That Yokai! She said i had the eye! She said i had it and kept trying to take it off of me!" Y/n starting pointing at her stomach where finger bruises had formed from the lady's grip. Mizuki stared confused as Y/n babbled on about the lady, trying to explain exactly what she looked like.
"I know who you're talking about." Y/n let out a cheer as she pushed Mizuki out the door demanding he take her to her yokai.
"You have not changed in 500 years." Mizuki spoke as Y/n rounded the corner, the yokai who attacked her now drenched from head to toe in her bikini top and long skirt looked angry.
"And who the hell are you?" The lady screamed before her eyes made contact with Y/n and she froze, a grin coming on her face as she stood.
"You're the one with the eye. My my you look good for a human after 500 years, that stupid fox isn't with you i presume? Damn Yokai burnt my cloak." Mizuki repressed the eye roll as Y/n moved towards the Yokai.
"I want to make a deal with you. You get the eye from wherever it is, without killing me, and i'll give you anything you want within reason." The yokai grasped her chin examining Y/n's body before a malicious grin came over her face.
"In that case, i want 30 years of your life. Take or leave it sweetheart." Y/n stared at the Yokai as Mizuki stepped forward with a scowl.
"You're being ripped off Y/n! That eye is not worth 30 years of your life." Y/n ignored Mizuki's words as the yokai turned to Mizuki with a scowl.
"And how do you suppose she gets it out then? Both my eyes have second sight, without me you can kiss that eye goodbye. Stay out of this you pathetic snake boy." Mizuki's face dropped as Y/n grabbed the Yokai's arm and turned her around.
"Okay you can have 30 years of my life." The yokai grinned as she stuck out her hand, Y/n lifted her hand.
"Hmm there's a girl who knows how to bargain."
"Y/n don't, don't do it!" Mizuki grabbed her hand, standing between Y/n and the Yokai with a terrified look. Y/n let out a small laugh and ruffled Mizuki's hair.
"Don't worry about me Mizuki, 30 years of my life won't kill me and Tomoe only has one day so i can give up 30 years so he can live." Y/n walked past Mizuki as she shook the Yokai's hand, not noticing Mizuki walking away as the Yokai assisted her to lay down. Y/n let out a small whine as the Yokai placed a hand on her sternum, Y/n's eyes closing as she felt something begin exiting her sternum, the energy depleting from her body as she passed out. The Yokai laughed as she held the gold glowing flame in her hand.
"Well it seems you have something much for valuable than years Land God! I've got the Dragon King's eye and a Land God's soul! What a lucky day for me!" She twirled as she stared at the soul, she had succeeded.
"I tried to warn you this might happen. Why can't you just listen and trust me to protect you. You are too kind, too moral and Tomoe does not deserve such a wonderful person to love him. To take on his debt, you're relentless and nothing would have stopped you. I cannot stop myself from needing to serve you, i'm like a moth to a flame." Mizuki bent down, placing his hand on her pale face as he pushed his lips against hers, savouring how she felt as the contract sealed. He felt freed, an odd feeling after being sealed into a contract but his heart fluttered as he pulled away and turned to the yokai.
"You just...but why?" She questioned, confusion on her face as he approached her, water suddenly exploding on her as she dropped Y/n's soul, allowing Mizuki to collect it and place it back into Y/n.
Y/n felt like the air was returned to her lungs once more as she yawned, her eyes opening slowly before she sat up, placing her hand on her head as she looked around to find Mizuki kneeled before her.
"Good evening Mistress, do you feel better? Today is the first day that i, Mizuki, serve as your familiar! I'll be so amazing you'll forget all about Tomoe." Y/n's jaw dropped as she watched Mizuki almost floating on air, his face one of pure happiness as he stared at her.
"What?" Y/n shouted as Mizuki blushed, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Good new right?" Mizuki's happiness was stopped as he used his snake to grab the yokai as she attempted to crawl away, his aura turning dark as he placed her in front of Y/n.
"How dare you try to deceive my Mistress, i suppose i have no other option than to end your life." His smile was sickening as he raced forward to slash her, Y/n's eyes widening as she panicked.
"Stop Mizuki do not touch her!" His whole body freezing as he took in the sacred word binding, feeling the sweet pinch of her command forcing his body to stop and obey her. It was euphoric, sweet paralysis, a true pleasure to be held in Y/n's power. Turning to her he went bright red as he fell to his knees and begged.
"Do it again, please give me commands and tie me up with your sacred command!" Y/n cringed as she stared at Mizuki, his whole body wiggling in pleasure as he stared at her waiting for a command.
"Don't be a pervert Mizuki. I already have to deal with Tomoe and now you." Rubbing her forehead she closed her eyes before standing, Mizuki rushing to her side before she pushed his hands away.
"You truly are a beautiful Goddess Mistress." Y/n glared at him as she placed her hands on her hips.
"You kissed me in my sleep against my will! If we don't get Tomoe back i'm going to feed you to the spirits!" Y/n shouted as Mizuki wiggled at the threat making Y/n scrunch her nose up before slapping him across the face as he blushed.
"Stop being a pervert!" Mizuki held his face as he held in his excitement, his new Mistress was so fierce, it made his whole body tingle.
"I'm so glad you're adapting to the new changes." Mizuki whispered.
"This is the Dragon King's eye." Y/n deadpanned as she stared at the pearl in her hand feeling defeated as she laid on the sand and let out a small scream.
"Why is everything so difficult!" Mizuki held in his giggle as he watched her temper tantrum before he crouched beside her.
"We still have the eye, that was the deal wasn't it?" Y/n nodded, her nose in the sand before she sat up and shook her head, staring at the pearl in thought. Mizuki pulled the tickets the yokai had given him, a thanks for not murdering her, which he couldn't have done even if he wanted to with the sacred command in place. Thinking about it he repressed a wiggle of pleasure at the thought of being held against his will once more.
"I still think you should have let me punish her. Instead we only got these." Mizuki spoke as Y/n scowled at him and grabbed the tickets, flicking sand at him.
"Don't be so silly, i just wanted her out of here before you tried to kill her." Mizuki looked down at Y/n as she stood, brushing off her shirt as she looked over the tickets, atleast they had a way to the Dragon King's palace now.
"I assure you a familiar will never kill in front of their God, surely Tomoe was the same right? He would never want you to see his dirty work. It might have angered you." Y/n raised an eyebrow as she thought about Tomoe but pushed it out her head and hurried Mizuki to the ocean.
"My Dragon King someone is coming right at us!" The Dragon King ignored his subordinate before the sea slug opened the door in panic. The King looking up bored from his calculations.
"It's the oyster with the fox!" The Dragon King's eyebrow raised as he hurried up shouting Tomoe's name as he flung open the doors to the banquet room. There stood Tomoe, the oyster now ripped open from the inside and the fox gave him a dangerous look as he spoke.
"Good grief. The sensation of being wrapped up in flesh brought back such fond memories. It has been a long time Dragon King. However showing yourself in front of my Mistress Lady Y/n, well that is unacceptable. You knew i would not conduct such bloody business in front of her. You had such a nerve to believe you had one, but now we have changed venues and she will not see the mess i am to make of you as i did 500 years ago. Well, the fun is to begin." The Dragon King's eye went wide as fire began to grow from Tomoe's hand.
Y/n fiddled with her shirt as she sat across from a Lady, her dress beautiful as she explained the item in her hands before the Lady asked what a Land God was doing in the Dragon Kingdom.
"My friend is being held as collateral so i'm venturing there to return the item her stole and bring him home." Y/n smiled as the Lady smiled back and spoke of her husband, her voice smooth and body language full of poise and pride. Y/n felt herself be chucked against the wide of the cart as the Turtle rolled, the half coat flying out the window as the Lady's eyes widened. Y/n rushed to the window before Mizuki caught her, pulling her back as the Lady asked her to sit.
"It is okay, it has been swept away by the current and i fear it will be long gone by now. I imagine that tremor came from the palace. I can always make another half coat, let us carry on our journey." Y/n reached over taking the Lady's hands in hers as she sympathised with her.
"I am so sorry, it was a beautiful garment and i am sure your Husband would have adored it." The Lady smiled back before Y/n sat back, the three of them relaxing as they waited for the journey to finish.
Y/n's eyes were wide as she looked at the Palace, the Lady behind her looking around with distain as sea slugs got closer.
"This is beautiful." The ground shook once more almost knocking Y/n off her feet as the slugs spoke to the beautiful Lady.
"The King is trying to put the fox down." Was all she needed to hear as she began running towards the banquet hall, following the sounds of crashes and the blue flames coming from the room.
The Dragon King fell to the ground under the rubble as he grinned at Tomoe and stood, Tomoe encased in Blue flames as they stared each other down.
"You look far more beastly now than you did on the beach. Even a thousand year love would cool if someone saw you like this." Tomoe raised an eyebrow as he took in the King's words.
"So you know Y/n?" The Dragon King laughed as he stared at the fox in defiance.
"She came pestering me to bring you back, she offered to get my Right eye in exchange for you." Tomoe's fire diminished as she leaned against the wall with a small pout.
"That stupid girl, she is the only Land God who is so incapable of doing such a thing." The Dragon King deadpanned as his jaw dropped.
"That crazy girl is a Land God! I thought she was your lover! Why were you holding her so damn close!" Tomoe threw a fish at the Dragon King as he stood and placed a hand on his hip.
"She may not look the part but she is still the God of Mikage's Shrine! She is not some woman to be touched so carelessly with sullied hands." Tomoe glared at the Dragon King before the door flew open revealing Y/n as she panted, Tomoe's eyes widening as he took in her appearance. The shirt she wore barely covered her bikini, small rips in the waist and hips that resembled claw marks as she pushed her hair back and stormed in. Tomoe felt panic rush through his veins as she stormed towards him, throwing his body into the oyster and slamming it closed. Y/n stared in disbelief as the oyster rocked back and forth from the sudden movement, her jaw open before she clenched her jaw and slammed her hands against the oyster.
"Get out here right now you stupid fox! What do you think you're doing in there after almost destroying this palace huh? And speaking of this palace 500 years ago you were just as stupid as you are now so come out here right now and deal with your punishment or i swear i will pry to you out of there!" Tomoe stayed silent as he felt her hit against the oyster, his hand on his heart as he thought about her, caring for him, coming to save him. It was so admirable and now he felt too embarrassed to face her. Y/n huffed before she pointed at the Dragon King making him jump as she walked over and poked his chest.
"You! Take your stupid eye and get him out of there so i can take him back already! I have had a hell of a day and quite frankly i want a hot bath and to go to bed. You're grown yokai for goodness sake!" The Dragon King nodded in fear as he tried to force the oyster open but Tomoe gripped it from the inside as Y/n face palmed, she had two idiots fighting each other. Mizuki appeared next to Y/n with a grin as he placed an arm around her shoulder.
"If he is causing so much trouble Mistress shall we return to the Shrine and i will run you a bath and massage your body?" He almost hissed in her ear, Y/n looking at him in disgust ready to shout at him before the oyster flew open and Tomoe launched at Mizuki. Tomoe held Mizuki's kimono in his hands as he glared down at him.
"Mistress? What did you do you pathetic little snake!" Tomoe froze as he realised he was out the oyster, turning his head to where Y/n was almost breathing fire as she grabbed his ear and forced him to kneel before her as she scolded him.
"You came out the damn oyster to shout at Mizuki!" Tomoe could feel her nails dig into his ear as he inhaled, he could smell himself all over Y/n as he always could, he made it as habit of scenting her, reminding every Yokai she was his. But now, now he could smell that disgusting snake on her, tainting her. Pouting he crossed his arms listening to his lecture before Y/n sighed and let go of his ear, falling forward as he caught her in his arms, a content smile on her face as she looked at him.
"I'm so happy you're okay! Y'know, i went into the past and you weren't as scary as everyone says." Y/n let out a laugh as Tomoe froze, staring at her deeply before bowing down and placing a kiss on her lips, shocking Y/n as he pulled away a second later. Licking his lips as he tasted the faint hint of her blood, the taste familiar as Y/n blinked in confusion.
"I had to get that snake off you." Y/n nodded slowly as Tomoe stood, Y/n carried in his arms as he glared at Mizuki before departing.
Y/n seemed to be in this position too much with Tomoe as she sat with her arms crossed, pouting as he lectured her on letting her guard down, his hand pointing to Mizuki as he yelled animated.
"Don't even get me started on agreeing to 30 years of your life in exchange for that stupid eye!" Y/n shot a glare at Mizuki as he blanched and hid behind Tomoe who quickly kicked him away shouting at him for allowing her to make such a stupid decision.
"And then to come to the Dragon Kingdom with him? What would you have done if he attacked you and i was inside that oyster!" Y/n went to argue back but Tomoe continued his rant.
"Do you think this snake can protect you like i can? I swear you enjoy making my blood pressure go up!" Y/n pouted again as she looked away, she felt like a child being scolded by her parent. Tomoe sighed as he reached down and placed his hand on her chin, bring her face up to look at him as he tilted his head and spoke calmly.
"Do not put your life in danger for me again." Y/n nodded, she could feel his breath on her mouth, could smell his scent and recalled how his past self had been so similar yet so different it made her mind spin.
"Good, now." Tomoe moved away and turned to Mizuki with a dark aura.
"You are going to be punished for kissing Y/n." Y/n blushed as she watched Tomoe throw Mizuki outside shouting at him to clean and stop slacking but she kept replaying his words. He was being punished for kissing her, not for tricking her into being her familiar, but for kissing her.
Y/n sighed as she brushed her hair, she had 30 minutes before she had to meet Kei and Ami for the mixer. Tomoe stood behind Y/n with his arms in his kimono as he watched her, his chest constricting as she bent over to put her brush away, her skirt riding up and showing the frills on her underwear making him blush. He thought about how foolish humans were, Y/n had no idea her skirt was so short or that when she bent over she could flash anyone which made him agitated as moved to stand right behind her.
"Change." Y/n jolted as she looked over her shoulder at Tomoe, confused as she stood and looked in the mirror, she thought she'd picked a nice outfit. Nothing too fancy or flirty, just a simply black skirt and jumper.
"Why? I think it looks nice." Y/n shrugged off his demand as she tried to decide how to style her hair, Tomoe scowled as he looked down at her. He hated the feeling that over came him at the idea of any other man seeing her like that, to see her legs or to feel them the way he had, it burnt him like fire deep in soul to imagine it.
"That skirt is far too short and i will not have you parading around in something so indecent." Y/n'e eyes widened as she turned and looked at Tomoe, his face serious as she looked down at her outfit and back at him. Placing a hand on her hip she raised an eye in defiance and shook her head.
"No." Y/n grinned to herself as she saw Tomoe's ear twitch at her resistance, although it was short lived when she felt herself be hoisted over his shoulder as she yelped in shock.
"Tomoe! Put me down!" Tomoe let out a chuckle as he walked towards the wardrobe, one hand holding her over his shoulder as he looked through her clothes, trying to find something that would hide her body from others.
"Tomoe!" Y/n whined hitting his back as she felt his hands grip the back of her thigh, she could feel her stomach growing hot at his touch. Embarrassment was now flooding her veins as she wiggled in his hold causing him to readjust her on his shoulder, his hand now holding her inner thigh to keep her still as she sucked in a breath. He hadn't touched her thighs since he'd had to change her bandages and now her skin pricked up at the warmth of his palms on her soft inner thighs.
"Stop squirming or i will spank you." Y/n froze, she hadn't been meaning to rub her thighs together, directly on him either but she had been lost in her thoughts and was sure if Tomoe stood in front of a mirror there would be a wet patch on her baby blue underwear. His threat was still hanging in the air as she tried not to think about it but it was like a bee to honey as she imagined him slapping her gently before massaging it better as he punished her. She was now certain if his hands moved higher he would be able to feel how wet she was, this was a whole new level of embarrassment, she'd never be able to look at him again.
"This should do." Tomoe spoke, trying to keep his voice steady as he smelt her arousal, directly next to his nose, it was too much and he hadn't expected her to react in such a way so quickly. It was making him insatiable, the need to throw her down and take her, to hear her moan out his name instead of going to this stupid mixer. He'd already tried to convince her she had Godly duties but it had fallen on deaf ears. Placing her down he handed her a baby blue dress, the sweetheart neckline was not the most modest choice but it was the same colour as his kimono and his flame, he couldn't have made it more clear she was his. Y/n looked at the dress, her face flushed red as she agreed and hurried him out the room, sighing when she was alone as she looked at the ceiling. Tomoe was going to be the death of her if she couldn't get this attraction under control.
Ami and Y/n sat beside Kei as she flirted with one of the boys across from them, Y/n wasn't the least interested in them but Kei was still trying to get back at her ex and Ami was too cute to say no to. Y/n's eye twitched as one of the boys said they had a girlfriend, she was sat across from him as he stuck his tongue out.
"So Fox, stalking Y/n whilst she's on a date?" Tomoe's ear twitched as Kurama dropped onto the branch next to him with a smirk. Tomoe ignored him until Kurama whistled.
"Wow she really dolled up for this huh?" Tomoe preened as he looked at Y/n, the blue complimented her well and the length almost touched her knees compared to the little black skirt from before.
"Yes, i dressed her beautifully, the colour suits her well does it not?" Tomoe flicked his fan, covering his face as Kurama looked closer before deadpanning and looking at Tomoe.
"Sly fox." Tomoe smirked as he fanned himself, proud that his message had been received loud and clear by the tengu. Kurama smirked again as he leaned on his hand and teased Tomoe.
"You're taking this well, Y/n on a date, anything could happen and as her familiar you can't stop her from wanting more...human relations." Tomoe's hand froze as he listened to Kurama, his eyes turning to slits as he looked at him. Kurama now grinned widely as he continued to torture Tomoe.
"She is an 18 year old girl, she'd bound to want more in life than just being a Land God, most humans want children...or atleast to try to make them." Kurama let out a laugh as Tomoe broke his fan. Kurama let out a screech as Tomoe threw fire at him making him fall out the tree.
"So what are you girls into?" One of the boys asked, Kei instantly answering as Y/n took a sip of her drink and looked up, finding the reddish pink hair coloured boy looking at her. Going red she looked back down as she heard him chuckle, his foot coming to touch her leg as she jumped and looked at him in shock, his eyes not even on her as he engaged in conversation with his friends. Y/n was sure she had imagined it before she felt his foot rub up and down her leg again, his eyes now full of mischief as she moved her leg away making him stick out his tongue. Y/n didn't want to ruin this mixer for Kei but the guy across from her was getting on her nerves as he suggested Kei and him swap seats so Kei could get to know his friend more.
Tomoe glared at the back of the boys head as he scooted next to Y/n, watching her sit up straight as she moved further away, Tomoe praising her in his head for not letting the boy sit too close until he threw his arm behind Y/n's seat and leaned against her whispering in her ear.
"So, what do you like Y/n?" His voice grated her as his other hand landed on her clothed thigh and she was now thankful Tomoe had made her change or it would have been her naked skin he touched. Scooting closer to Ami she gave him a friendly smile.
"Oh uhh, i like cooking, i especially like cooking soup." Y/n scratched her neck anxiously as she thought of Tomoe, recalling how much she enjoyed cooking for him and when he would teach her new things. The guy laughed as he twirled a piece of Y/n's hair around his finger.
"Really? I think it's so cute when a girl loves to cook." Y/n let out an awkward laugh as she moved her head away watching her hair fall put his hand as he let it drop next to her head.
"That's cool, does your girlfriend like cooking?" Y/n put emphasis on girlfriend hoping he would get the hint or atleast act as though he wasn't single but he only laughed and shook his head.
"No, she likes being a pampered princess. But i think it's nice to be the one who's pampered, especially by someone as pretty as you." Y/n cringed inside before she suddenly half stood and looked at the boy.
"I need to some fresh air. I'll be back soon." The boy's eyes were wide as she scooted past, scurrying out the restaurants door and away from the awkward tension. Sitting down Y/n put her head in her hands as she tried to calm her heart, she didn't understand why that guy was acting like that when he had a girlfriend.
"I'll keep you company." Y/n jumped as a hand landed on her shoulder and she held in a groan as he sat next to her, a smirk on his face as he looked her up and down, almost enjoying how she tried to hide her face from him. Moving forward he placed a hand under her chin to pull her face out her arms, making her look at him as Y/n frowned at him.
"Come on, smile for me atleast. You were the prettiest girl in there and i know you were loving the attention i gave you." Y/n scowled as she pulled her face free from his hand.
"I don't want your attention, i'm not that type of girl thanks." Y/n went to stand, feeling his hand on hers as he pulled her back down making her fall into his lap as he held her waist. Her eyes now wide as she pushed against his check, his eyes dark.
"Then what kind of girl are you huh? I think if me and you got out of here i'd see how freaky you really-" Y/n yelped as her arm was tugged, the guy suddenly flying off the fountain as Tomoe stood behind him, his hand on Y/n's arm and foot raised from where he'd kicked him.
"Finish that sentence and you die." Tomoe threatened as he pulled Y/n against his chest, his eyes staying on the guy as he scampered up with fear in his eyes.
"I didn't know she had a boyfriend!" He stuttered out before running back into the restaurant. Tomoe turned to Y/n, his hand on her chin as he looked her over, he could see the slight tears in her eyes.
"Thank you." Y/n whispered, she felt silly, she'd dealt with Yokai trying to kill her, being kidnapped, losing her home and the first thing to make her cry was a human boy. Tomoe's eyes softened as he ran a finger under her eyes, catching the tear that almost fell making her eyes close as he held her gently against him.
"You do not need thank me. I will always keep you safe." Y/n nodded before opening her eyes with a sad smile.
"Can we go home now?" Tomoe nodded, his urge to chase after the human and enjoy some bbq was replaced by the need to see Y/n smile with joy.
Y/n stared at the wall, steam filling the room as she lay with half her face in the warm water, the scent of citrus filling the air as she bathed.
"Are you almost done in there Y/n?" Y/n squealed as she sat up, Mizuki's voice scaring her as she heard the door begin to open, seeing his face with a wide smile on it as she screamed and covered her chest.
"Mizuki!" Said yokai only laughed as he held up a towel with an innocent smile, Y/n ducked into the water as she stared in horror at her familiar coming closer.
"There is no need to be shy Lady Y/n, i am only here to assist you." Before he could get any closer a leaf hit his head causing him to fall face first onto the ground, Tomoe stood behind him glaring at his body.
"Were you trying to look at Y/n in the bath?" His voice was deep and terrifying as Mizuki smiled up at him and waved.
"Of course not i simply wished to help her out and dry her body off, it is only my job as her familiar." Mizuki's voice filled with innocence as Tomoe grabbed his kimono and dragged the snake out, Mizuki waving goodbye to Y/n as she deadpanned at the stupidity of her familiars.
"I'd better get out now to make sure Tomoe doesn't kill him." Y/n sighed to herself as she stood, turning her back to the door as she wrung out her hair.
"Y/n i have taught the snake a lesson, he should know to respect your..." Tomoe's voice stopped as he stared at Y/n, her head turned to him as her face went bright red, hands still holding her hair as her naked body was in his sight. Squealing Y/n covered her chest, luckily her back faced Tomoe as she shouted at him.
"Get out!" Tomoe slammed the door as quick as possible, staring at it as he felt frozen in his spot unable to move. His mind replaying how her body looked, every inch of her free for his eyes to roam, her body covered in a layer of water that made the view even more perverted.
The door opened as Tomoe looked at Y/n, his eyes wide as she bumped into him, his hands catching her as he pulled her wet body against his kimono and held her still. One of her hands pressed against his chest whilst the other clung the towel wrapped around her middle.
"Y/n." Tomoe breathed out, her hand fisting in his kimono as she blushed but could not look away.
"Yes Tomoe." Y/n's voice barely above a whisper as he gulped, his mind overflowing as he looked down at her, her chest pressed together and smushed against his, he could feel the slight dampness under the towel where his hands touched. He couldn't hold back any longer, not when she looked at him with half lidded eyes, not when he could hear her breath hitch as he got closer and especially not when he could feel her cross her legs and squirm.
"I'm sorry." Tomoe whispered as his lips met hers, the kiss feral as he gripped at her, pushing her back into the bathroom and sliding the door closed to be able to press her to it. His entire body on fire as he slotted a leg between hers, a hand beside her head as he devoured her.
Y/n moaned against Tomoe's lips, her hand coming to clutch his neck as his hand pulled her waist to press her into his chest, rubbing her along his thigh as she whined at the feeling. Tomoe's hand clenched around the door, his nails scraping loudly as he groaned as the feeling of her pressed into his thigh, all his senses completely encompassed by Y/n. Pulling away he kissed her jaw, running his canines down onto her neck as she curled her hand in his hair and tugged him further into her. Gripping the towel he yanked it from her hand, throwing it behind him as he moved back to stare at her naked body, loving how her eyes glowed with innocence yet she didn't move to hide herself from his gaze.
"Perfection." Tomoe whispered as he dropped to his knees, Y/n squealing as he ran his hands along her thighs before holding her right leg up and throwing it over his shoulder, his nose nuzzling against her inner thigh as he inhaled.
"You do not understand how hard it is to deny myself this pleasure everytime i smell your arousal, it is constant torture Y/n. To see you squirm, to hear your heart beating so fast i worry you'll faint but worst of all, it's the sweet smell that seems to taunt me. It is divine." Y/n let out a moan as he leant forward, his tongue sweeping across her clit as one of her hands came to grip his hair whilst his other hand held hers beside her waist, forcing her to arch her back and push her pussy into his mouth.
"T-Tomoe." Y/n stuttered out, breathless as she looked down with half lidded eyes, his eyes piercing into hers as he continued to swipe his tongue across her clit, enjoying how her body twitched with each movement of his tongue. He was a man starved, a feral fox and not even the most powerful God could pull him from between her legs in that moment. Y/n's eyes closed as she bit her lip, head bumping the door as she arched further into him, his tongue now finding it's rhythm as she panted at each figure of eight he created. Her nails digging into his head as she squirmed. Tomoe moaned against her clit as he ran a hand along her thigh that rest next to his head, nails scraping the vulnerable flesh as he sucked on her clit enjoying how she jumped and moaned loudly.
"Tomoe." The moan, his name, her taste, God's he was done for. Moving his hand along her thigh he curved it around her thigh under he could glide a clawed finger along her pussy, listening to her gasp at the coolness of his finger tip as he moved his mouth down allowing his fingers to play with her clit as he pushed his tongue in and out her pussy.
"You are being such a good girl for me Y/n." Tomoe moaned out, rubbing his fingers quicker as he matched the pace with his tongue, her hands clenching harder in his hair as she panted out his name. Tomoe wanted so badly to push his fingers into her pussy but his claws would hurt her too much and he never wanted to change the pleasure to pain unless she asked. Y/n whimpered as she threw back her head and moaned his name, barely able to open her eyes as she chased her orgasm, Tomoe lapping at her pussy as he held himself back.
"Tomoe, i..i feel funny." Y/n whispered as her eyes barely cracked open to see Tomoe grinning between her thighs as he removed his finger and sucked harshly on her clit, Y/n crying out as she came hard. Tomoe helping her ride out the orgasm as he continued his torment, his hand now pushing her thighs open to keep his head between them. Y/n tried to push him away as she moaned and cried out, her pussy clenching around nothing as she whimpered his name. It felt so amazing yet she felt like her pussy was going to explode if he didn't stop, Tomoe sucked harshly once more as Y/n yelped out making him grin against her leg as he pulled away and watched her. Her hair stuck to her forehead as she panted, eyes blank as Tomoe placed her leg down, his hands holding her hips as he held her up.
"Y/n." Tomoe spoke softly, bringing her attention to him as she nodded, mouth slightly open as she breathed in and out, chest rising and falling as her nipples grazed his kimono making her sigh out another moan at the stimulation. Eyes closing as she leant against the door, Tomoe looking her over before removing his Kimono, his trousers underneath covering his lower half as he draped it over her, Y/n inhaling his scent as she fell forward into his arms.
"You did so well. Try to get some rest." Y/n nodded as Tomoe picked her up, carrying her to his bedroom as he laid beside her, curling into her body whilst she fell asleep.
Mizuki laid with his face against the floor, tears flowing from his eyes.
"Is Lady Y/n okay? Is Tomoe hurting her?" The spirits asked eyes filled with concern as Mizuki raised his head.
"No...he is not hurting her." Mizuki dropped his head again as he continued to cry.
Hey guys, i'm not properly out of my slump but atleast it's something right?
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on-my-vigilante-sht · 10 months ago
Text
Mine
Luke Castellan x Reader
Requested by: @officiallenalove like imagine the reader is like a daughter of Poseidon and we know he’s not around most of the time and she meets Luke and they like fall in love but she’s never known what healthy love looks like so it’s low key angsty but happy at the same time yk?
Summary: "You are the best thing that's ever been mine"
Warning: crappy parents, angst, self doubt
Word Count: 2k
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A/N Sorry this took so long I had a hard time choosing which lyrics/moments I wanted to write
You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter
Godly parents were always deadbeats. It was just a fact of half-blood life. But after spending years thinking I had no father, I was thrilled to have been claimed by Poseidon. It was naïve of me to think that just because he claimed me he’d be a good father just because I knew of his existence. I spent night after night praying to him, looking for some sense of guidance from him but never receiving anything. Eventually I learned not to bother with him or anyone else.
My mom had let me down enough times that I knew it wasn’t just gods that let you down. When she finally told me about my father she told me I’d be moving to a strange place. Not for my safety but because she didn’t want to take care of the daughter of the god that broke her heart. She complained endlessly on the drive over that my father never even bothered to offer her immortality, rather last she heard of him he was falling in love with another woman on Long Island.
She was dead to me after she dumped me at camp with hardly a goodbye. And then my father was dead to me when I begged for his help but received nothing.
~
I was a flight risk, with a fear of fallin' / Wondering why we bother with love, if it never lasts
Most of the other campers felt the same about their godly parents but it seemed like the only one who really understood was Luke.
“I mean, it’s like we’re nothing to them,” Luke ranted to me. We rant to each other a lot. “We’re just byproducts of their mistakes.”
“Gods, I hate men,” I groaned, lying back in the grass of the green. “Are all fathers this shitty?” I asked, looking up at Luke. I squinted into the sun as I peered at him accusingly. He moved his hand to block the sun from my eyes.
“I wouldn’t know from personal experience but I wouldn’t be this shitty,” he smiled cheekily down at me. He moved to lay back too, resting on his elbow. “I’d never abandon you.”
I could feel my chest tighten and I hoped it wasn’t apparent on my face. I just laughed, gently pushing his chest in a playful manner, hoping I was sparing him any embarrassment by making him think I thought he was joking. “You wish. You’d probably leave once the first diaper change comes.” I couldn’t even begin to consider loving him—or anyone—enough to feel abandoned by him. Thanks to my parents I felt more than enough abandonment.
He gave me a forced laugh as I sat up. “Yeah probably. I’d just be the fun dad.”
~
Do you remember, we were sittin' there by the water? / You put your arm around me for the first time
Later that day I found myself sitting on the beach of the Long Island Sound. The ocean was always sort of a sore spot for me because it was just a reminder of my father but it still felt calming. Like I belonged despite my father’s indifference.
As I stared out into the sound, zoning out, I let my mind wander to the conversation I had with Luke. That wasn’t the first time he had tried to hint at his feelings and he was a great guy but I couldn’t trust him. I didn’t have faith that he—or anyone for that matter—wouldn’t just let me down. How could I trust I wouldn’t let him down.
I was interrupted from my thoughts by the man himself. “Hey, can we talk?” he asked, coming to stand next to me. I just wordlessly gestured for him to sit next to me. He complied, taking a few breaths before looking at me. “I’m just gonna come right out and day it: I like you,” he rushed. “You don’t have to like me back or anything but I need to know that you know.”
I stared at him, my mouth agape. I hadn’t expected his boldness. “Um…” I had to take a second to structure my thoughts. “Luke, you’re a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have you but you don’t want me.”
“Actually, I do I just said it,” he chuckled, trying to release some tension.
I laughed with him. “No, I mean I don’t think I can give you what you want. I’m not the best with feelings and I’m not entirely convinced that you, and everyone else in my life, won’t just leave me when it’s convenient.”
“Hey,” Luke chided gently, throwing an arm over my shoulder to bring me closer, “I meant what I said I'm not gonna abandon you. And if you’re scared, that’s fine, we can take this slow. If you really just don’t want a relationship that’s fine. I’ll still be by your side no matter what.”
Tears pricked my eyes at how thoughtful and caring he was being. Fortunately he couldn’t see them because my head was resting on his shoulder. “Okay,” I agreed, “I want to try taking things slow with you.” His grip on me tightened as he held me a little closer, like he was so excited you just have to squeeze something.
~
Braced myself for the goodbye / 'Cause that's all I've ever known
Things were great for a few months. Every time I began to doubt our relationship, Luke was there to help me. Giving me constant assurances and telling me how much he loved me. So much so that I started to feel like a burden to him. Like I was just a task he had to get through every week.
“Hey,” Luke announced his presence as he entered my cabin, “I haven’t seen you all day, what’s up?” he asked, looking around the cabin.
“J-just a second!” I called from a storage closet. I quickly wiped my tears and steeled myself, willing myself to look normal. Realizing he’d be wondering why I was in the closet, I grabbed a random blanket from one of the shelves. Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the closet with a smile. “Hey.”
His face immediately dropped. “What’s wrong?”
Curse my puffy eyes. “Nothing,” I answered. He approached me but I just slid past him, dropping the blanket onto my bunk. “Why?”
“Your eyes are all red. What’s wrong?” he asked again. Once again trying to touch me but I just backed away.
“Must be dust or something in the closet,” I tried to dismiss.
His face hardened. “C’mon, Y/N I know something’s wrong. I don’t want you to hide things from me. I want to take care of you.”
At his words the dam broke and all the thoughts and feelings I had been dealing with bubbled over. “I don't want you to have to take care of me!” A look of hurt appeared on his face and my heart ached for him. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, I do. I just don’t think it’s fair to you to have to comfort me whenever anything little happens. It’s pathetic,” I spat at myself.
“Hey, no, you’re not pathetic,” Luke assured me.
“You’re not listening to me,” I insisted. “How can you possibly want to be with me when I do nothing but drain you?” I stared at him, waiting for him to realize that I was a leech and leave for his own sake. But instead, he just looked endeared.
“Y/N, you are the best thing that’s ever been mine. I don’t want you to ever think that you’re a burden to me. I love you and I love that I'm the one who brings you comfort. So please, just let me love you.”
My resolve broke and I went to him, letting Luke pull me into his chest. “What did I do to deserve you?” I cried into the warmth of his chest.
“I ask myself the same,” he returned, pressing a kiss to my head.
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