#idk where this went i guess this is venting you can ignore it

[princessmyriad]

.

[genderqueerdykes]

Sometimes I feel, idk, not dumb cause it's not dumb, but sometimes I feel like I'm supposed to have all of this identity stuff figured out already ya know? I know there's people who are much older than me who also still are learning things about themselves but it's just like I guess I feel like there's this expectation that when you're in your 20s you should know what you are and it's definitely a struggle for someone who's so fluid. I thought I've figured myself out but I guess I haven't? And I know labels are only there for helping you communicate to yourself and others and if they're not helpful you don't have to use them but it's like idk what I am anymore....????? I'd like to call myself an unlabeled fagdyke but sometimes I don't feel so much like a dyke. And sometimes I don't feel like either???

And then it sort of brings me to my next problem of like, I want to put myself out there and meet people, (maybe meet people to date..?) but it's like I don't know what or who I want or like agh it's all so confusing.

Thanks for letting people vent, feel free to ignore this. Also apologies for any grammatical mistakes lol

ooooo i get that, hey it's alright, sometimes you see people who are older than you who seem to have all their ducks in a row and it makes you feel like you're behind or inadequate or doing something wrong

it's okay to feel that way, sometimes you feel lost and confused, sometimes things fluctuate and you wonder if you've been wrong all along. i've been gravitating more away from gay male and into dyke these days, so i get what you mean- part of me wonders if i was just clinging to being trans male for so long because i needed the world to accept my masculinity as a natural part of me that i just went nuts. it's okay to question and wonder, it's okay to be confused, i'm confused too, you're definitely not alone

i think a good number of trans people spend a good long time wondering and questioning. not having words for what we're experiencing or having an experience that can't be defined easily. social media can make you feel like you're behind because you see someone else's perfectly curated progress and feel like you should be where they are. i came out in 2011 and still don' thave top surgery yet, so don't worry- everyone goes at their own pace. with any luck i'll be put on a top surgery wait list in january when i see my gender affirming specialist

idk. i just feel what you're going through and it's okay to not know. it's okay to be like what the fuck is happening and why does this seem easier for other people. it's okay to be in that state where you just don't know. take care, if you need anything else feel free to stop by again, we are cheering you on. i hope you can figure out in what direction your life is taking you presently so it's a bit more bearable

[we-made-it-this-far-kid]

Y’all I need to vent for a minute so ignore this post if you don’t care lol. But for those of you who don’t know I’m a lesbian and I’m not really out to my parents. I kind of came out to them in 2021 but that really was to my mom in the middle of an argument then she went on about how I’m a horrible daughter and how could I do this to her and some other awful homophobic things I don’t want to repeat. And it’s just so defeating and frustrating. I should be able to tell my parents I’m dating someone and I can’t. I mean I guess I can but it didn’t go well last time. And I’m seeing someone who’s really great and I really like them. And they just moved somewhere that’s a three and a half hour drive from me and I don’t mind doing the drive at all but that would mean I’d spend the night at her place and I’d have to tell my parents (for other reasons I won’t get into on this post) but I feel like I have to lie about it which I don’t want to do because I hate lying, and idk what to do because I want to see her and spend time with her and it’s hard now that’s she’s moved. And she’s out to her parents and said if I ever meet them she’d introduce me to them as her girlfriend. And I can’t do the same really without it being a big thing or my parents (really my mom) being mean about it. I’ve gotten to a point of where my close friends are my chosen family and I’d love to introduce her to them. But I’m scared that it’s not going to be enough you know. Like it sucks having homophobic parents. And I’m still somewhat financially dependent on my parents. And I’ve been applying for jobs for after I graduate college in May so I can start being financially independent but yeah. Sorry for ranting but it’s just weighing on me because things are getting serious with us and I’m afraid this might fuck things up.

[down-for-tea]

I swear I gotta be over my coworker now, hrs getting extra bitchy istg because I haven't been giving him as much attention I think. He wants me to be all clingy so he can ignore me and push me away, but like now he's being an ass to me at work? Like bro?? Where do you get off? I treat you nice and normal and nice, but you get to make fun of me? You get to haze me? Um like no sir?

My boss knows the situation and doesn't care about the weird relationship as long as it doesn't affect work, but guy being a lil bitch baby is making the workplace an unsafe work environment for me to you know work in? Cuz like, who wants to go into work where the coworker you have to work most closely with now that you share a role just treats you like you're an idiot?

Yeah sure I'm less experienced, but bro come on I'm still a person. How can you like someone you can't treat well? Doesn't that just mean you don't like them?

And ironically mans got all jealous when he found out I had a plus one to our company party. Hella wanted to know if it was a boyfriend or something. I swear I should've brought a fucking Tinder date just to fucking prove a point, but no I went kosher and will be bringing my father. Maybe he'll back off. Or shape up. Who knows.

I hate that I find this guy attractive. Like normally I wouldn't, but idk I think it's cuz I slept with him that I can think of attractive physical aspects of him. I guess if I reflected and thought he was ugly I'd have to look inward and criticize myself. I have to do that with his personality, so at least I don't have to do both lmao rip

I just need to vent more so I don't make stupid choices like continuing to talk to him

[chonnyjashh]

WARNING: VAGUEPOSTING, RANTING, SICK OF A PARTNER'S BULLSHIT.

Don't read if you're the person this is about— You know who you are. We met on Amino a few years back.

Idk where else to put this shit so people can see it, but here goes. The reason I don't talk to of yall much anymore is bc I am WELL over getting treated like your fucking therapist, or your sex toy, or a vessel for all your god damn mental illness you refuse to get help for. I made a God damm EFFORT for MONTHS to reconnect with some of yall, who will not be named- And you simply cannot be bothered to maintain a God damn conversation with me, the motherfucker who let you talk about literal ILLEGAL ASS SHIPS between content creators who said many times they're uncomfortable being shipped, let you get me involved with actual motherfucking creeps and sexual predators, let you convince me to block SEVERAL close friends bc you didn't like that they were playfully flirting wit me-

EVEN WORSE, I put up with the mcfucking deadnaming and MISGENDERING during a certain thing I was forced into after, once again, I was proven to not be enough- The same thing that led to both me AND you being sexually abused over the internet for a short period, all bc you HAD to have more than just me, bc I wasn't enough-

And yet somehow I fucking know, every god damn time I read your shitty, vague ass statuses, and ur bio, bc I care enough to check ur account and make sure you aren't threatening to jump off a god damn bridge at 4 in the motherfucking morning again- That you have the god damn NERVE to be pissed off at me for not reaching out either. OF FUCKING COURSE I DONT? Your ass doesn't bother to reply when I try to! And the one time I brought this up to the other person who's supposed to be a part of our relationship, he went and blabbed off to you, leading to you CALLING ME SELFISH?

God, how I wish I had let your ass dump me. Or better yet, called you out for being a raging, narcissistic asshole, and left you myself.

ABSOLUTELY FUCK YOU, BRO.

I can't dump your ass. Though I desperately want to. You've paid for a lot of goddamn food and shit for me. Honestly at this point I'm only staying with you bc I feel bad for letting you pay for my meals. Plus 3 years is a lot of time to up and waste on a relationship.

But oh, how I fantasize about blocking you. About ghosting your pathetic self like you ghosted me.

This relationship used to make me happy, bro. Now I am- Beyond fucking bitter. The thing that set me off is stupid. Seeing your fucking vent status, as usual.

What are you even on about. Guessing something bad happened- I don't want to ask. I don't wanna feel sorry for the man who ships fucking Tommyinnit and Techno, even after Techno literally died irl. I don't wanna feel sorry for the man who forced me to act out sexual assault scenes and got bitter and icy with me if I said I didn't want to. KNOWING I have rape trauma.

I don't like you, dude. You know who you are, you know why I'm angry, and I'm tired of you spinning it back on me.

So- All in all, yeah. I'm not making an effort. But ain't that what you fucking wanted? For me to stop trying? The way you ignore me sure makes it seem that way.

Also, the reason I don't DM you is bc we are supposed to be in a poly thing. I'm trying to include him, unlike you. Unless yall shit talk me behind my back. Fuck you if you do.

Signed,

[MY NAME ISNT FUCKING MAWCE YOU IGNORANT CUNT, IT HASNT BEEN FOR LIKE ALMOST TWO YEARS NOW. READ MY PRONOUNS PAGE ONCE IN A WHILE MAYBE.]

Chonny.

[fandoms-writings]

feel free to ignore, just needed to vent honestly

i can put up with a lot of bullshit at work - like a lot. 

but i’ve never worked somewhere like where i’m at now. 

i sit in my office for hours on end, it feels like i’m forgotten about half the time. the two people i work directly under and who i’m supposed to be on a team with don’t tell me when they’re leaving for meetings, even though some times what i do requires i go and speak with them. so i’ll go down the hall to their offices, and they’re just gone, as if they never even came in. and don’t even get me started on one of them just honestly surprising me with how he even has the position he does. i’m at least 10 years younger than him and if feel 20 times smarter. some of the shit he talks about or asks just baffles me. 

then there’s my boss. 

see, i’m not someone who needs to be spoken to in the morning, i really don’t care if you pass my office and say good morning or not. but if you are going to do that every morning to the person who’s door is literally two inches from mine, but you aren’t going to say it to me? that’s just shitty. 

also, you’ve never introduced yourself to me. I’ve been here four months now and even when i was training and you’d come talk to my supervisor while i was in the room, you wouldn’t even look in my direction. it was like i didn’t exist. and then you don’t answer any of my messages to you that are about work? like what. 

like, my mom used to work here and talked this place up so much and she fucking loved it and told me i would love being here. but i can’t help but feel like the ugly step child who they want to keep locked away in a closet. 

i just miss my old work i guess. we were like an actual family. they took me in when they found out i didn’t have any family around the area. they treated me as their own. they took care of me. we took care of each other. helped each other out when we needed it. we made sure we all got fed. if someone didn’t have money for lunch we’d pitch in to make sure they got something even if it was small. we had heartfelt conversations every day. we laughed, we hugged, we loved. It was like being wrapped up in a cozy blanket of comfort and love every day i went to work. 

and now it’s not. 

maybe i just need to cry or something idk i’m just bleh today. 

[wiltingbloom]

 ily all i hope you all had a good night last night no matter what you did i hope you’re safe and happy and are hopeful about the new year because you’re all stars and deserve the world!! but also as someone  who finds this season and the new year kinda scary and overwhelming and hopeless i want anyone who feels the same way to know you’re absolutely not alone in that feeling but i sincerely hope this year treats you kindly and we can all start to heal because shit is hard and 2017 was a fuckshow and it’s difficult to think anything good is gonna happen but i really wish it does for every single one of you🖤

[bastillewolf]

Hello idk if the requests are still going but if not then its okay ignore this and if they are please don't over work yourself and you don't need to do my request if you don't want to just stay healthy and eat well and drink lots of water we all live your work (and are simps for corpse-)

The ask : could I ask for a corpse husband x reader where they used to get shipped together before they even meet each other and when they meet each other corpse goes soft for reader and they play two rounds In among us together where they are imposters together and corpse is an imposter alone in the other round

Reader info : reader has a very soft voice and is a softie and the pronounce is she/her or they/them ( as you wish)

Again you don't gotta do it if you don't want to

Thanks so much for the ask, An. I was feeling like shit and this was a lot of fun to write. I’m sorry though, I completely read over the part where the reader was supposed to have a soft voice. I’ll see if I can make another one with this specification sometime. Also, I wrote this rather quickly because I’m watching Twilight for the first time and now my feelings are hurt.

#CorpseBride - Oneshot

Pairings: Corpse / Reader

Twitter wasn’t really your forte, but you knew how to get around. It’s just that you never really had the time to check it, let alone to see what’s on the trending page every single day. At the very least, you were capable of replying to your friends’ stuff and letting your viewers know when you were streaming or when a new video would be up. Again, you weren’t a pro, but you got by.

Until you didn’t.

“Hey, everyone,” you greeted, and immediately went to change your Among Us figure to its usual colour and outfit before someone else took it.

Everyone welcomed you, while it seemed Toast was still busy trying to get a last person to join.

“Whaddup, baby,” Corpse’s shot out from the rest of them. It was pure teasing, something he’d grown quite comfortable with ever since people had blatantly started simping for his voice. “Nothing much, honey. How’ve you been?” You cheekily replied. “Pretty good. Streaming still makes me nervous, though.” “You greeted me with ‘Whaddup, baby’ and then proceed to tell me you’re nervous? Don’t get upset when I say that I don’t believe you.” He chuckled at that.

5… 4… 3… 2… 1…

Impostor

“Ha!” you called out, “I doubt this will soothe your nerves, Corpse. You’re teamed up with me now.” You sneaked in a glance at chat. “We are not an old married couple! If anything, he can be my bitch for this round. I’m just not gonna murder anyone.”

And that’s basically how it went. He managed to kill three people and still wasn’t being sussed. “Alright, I think I’ve tortured him enough,” you laughed, “I’ll even spare Sykkuno for the man.”

You managed to corner Toast and killed him in a corner where the water wheels were, before heading out into admin. You vented until you found Corpse in Labs and jumped out. It was right when Sykkuno walked in.

“Oh, god no. Please, Sykkuno.”

Your kill count still wasn’t down yet and he was obviously planning to run straight out the door to hit the emergency button, but he was stopped. Corpse had murdered him in an instant.

Your mouth was hanging open. “Did… Did he just kill Sykkuno for me?” Chat was going absolutely wild. “What the fuck just happened?” You decided to report the body anyway.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” Corpse growled, “Not my best friend, Sykkuno.”

You had to mute yourself to keep the laughter at bay. Corpse evidently vouched for you, saying you’d walked in on the body together. Felix was sussed and voted out.

“Corpse, you killed me!” Sykkuno cried out.

“I’m so sorry, Sykkuno! I wanted to spare you but you walked in at the wrong time!” You pleaded.

“Sacrifices had to be made,” Corpse merely responded.

“Wait, what happened?” Sean asked.

“I walked in on one of them venting and then Corpse killed me!”

“Collateral damage. You watched me get killed one time, too.”

“Blame me, Sykkuno. It was my fault,” but you were laughing as you said it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard such regret coming from an imposter,” Sean laughed along, “Also, why the fuck were you two being so slow? Three meetings in and you’d only killed three people.”

“Corpse was simping for me,” you replied.

“I was not.”

“Yes, you were. Otherwise you would’ve asked me what the hell I’d been doing that entire time.”

“Fuck off,” he laughed.

“Corpse is an UWU-boy!”

“Oh my god, you guys are already trending.”

“Wait, what?”

Your phone was being blasted off to space, getting tons of messages with the hashtag #CorpseBride. It was number 1 trending on Twitter.

“So… whaddup, baby?”

“Oh no, you better buy me a drink first.”

“Sure.”

 You hadn’t thought he’d been serious in that moment, until he’d asked you to meet up after the game had ended. You hesitantly agreed, but reminded him that he absolutely did not have to participate in this just for the meme. “I’m not doing this for the meme,” he’d said, “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while, I just never knew how. It seemed like the perfect timing.”

You met him at his apartment, knowing how he was about going out in public, and feeling extremely nervous. You’d brought takeout, and because you hadn’t been sure what he wanted you’d ordered way too much. Upon opening the door, he looked at you, down at the bag, and said, “Shit, you got food?” Not really knowing what else to say, you simply replied, “Uh, yeah.”

“Well, I guess we’ll have lots of leftovers, then.”

He smiled, gave you a hug that ended way too fast and left you paralyzed for a minute, and then invited you in. It turned out he’d already ordered food, too. “Plenty to choose from,” he laughed awkwardly. “Uh… You got any neighbours who might want some?” you asked.

“I-I don’t really talk to anyone outside of my friend group.”

“Oh, of course. I could go around, if you’d like.”

“You’d do that for me?”

You furrowed your brows. “Of course I would. Why not?”

“Alright, but let me at least come with you. You just do the talking.”

Three knocks at three different doors later, and someone accepted the offer and took over some of the food. “Hang on a minute,” the elderly man said, clad in only his pyjamas and a bathrobe, managing to make the situation even more uncomfortable, “Aren’t you my neighbour? You always scurry off before I get the chance to talk to you!”

You looked at Corpse, and he back at you, and you turned back to the elderly man. “He, uh… He’s very people shy. He has anxiety. I’m trying to help him cope. Also, his vocal chords are damaged.” Nothing you’d said so far had been a lie, technically, but the man still remained sceptical. “Then why didn’t you just leave a note or something?”

“Uh…” you jumped at the small voice appearing from behind you. It’s just that his ‘small voice’ is still nothing close to small. “I know, I’m terribly sorry, sir. I also just wanted to let you know that if you ever need anything, I’m just a few doors away.”

This seemed to please the man enough.

“I can’t believe you made me do that.”

“I made you?!” You gasped, “I didn’t make you do anything, you filthy liar! You’re just as bad in real life as in Among Us, when you’re the impostor and I’m the innocent crewmate.”

“No comment.”

“I didn’t even ask you a question.”

“No comment.”

“Deadass?”

“Deadass.”

You both laughed. Corpse hesitated for just a moment, but decided to ask anyway, “Were you nervous when I opened the door?”

You chuckled awkwardly, admitting, “Yeah, I was. I always get anxious meeting people. Well, we’d met before, of course. But just, you know, in real life.”

“I get it.”

You stood there in silence for a moment, until you noticed the rest of the takeout in your hands was getting cold. “Come on, wife,” he joked, linking his pinkie finger with yours, “Let me get you that drink.”

If he hadn’t dragged you along then and there, you could’ve sworn your knees would’ve given out.

TAG LIST CLOSED

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[mimibtsghost7]

Fuck you and all your little brain washed rats sending people hate because you cant take responsibility for your actions!! But go on stay silent like you always do, pretend its nothing of your business, keep being a fetishizing racist delulu like you love to be while pretending to be the best blog on tumblr!!!

NOT like anyone will see this but YOU will so LET’S GOOO!!!~~

TW: mental health and more (if you feel like this can trigger you, pls don’t read this, breathe in and out and listen to this HERE and remember I love you), loads of tea and Mimi NOT being a friendly and kind ghost. 

funny enough: 

I never pretended of said I was the best blog. But I guess the fact that you say it might be because you heard it frequently? Thanks for thinking so^^

I sent hate to no one and u r the one sending it to me rn ^^ In my whole 4 year journey on Tumblr I received a lot of love but also worse hate that you can imagine. Yes you are saying now you are receiving hate ... funny how it’s bad when It’s addressed to you but when it’s at me and my dear followers it is not. Still, I never told anyone to go hate on you. You were the idiot that tagged my old blog and as soon as my blog was gone pple searched me and found out you were the reason behind this. But as you keep hating on me. Let me tell you I am kind but don’t mistake that for me being a coward.

I am not into insulting others and I don’t care much if you insult me. BUT don’t YOU DARE touch my dear followers. Insulting ain’t hard. Let me try: The only rat here is you hiding in your hole as an anon. I went and compared your writing with this ask and previous hate asks. And it was you~ Good for you~ the sewers smell just like your filthy mouth spilling sh*t left and right. So on brand. However, I know who you are @hobisbeautifulass Hi ^^

Me racist? HAHAHAHAH you truly know NOTHING about me nor my ex-blog’s message. It was a place when you were welcomed no matter your skin color, religion, gender ... proof? well it got deleted thanks to you. but ask around this time and search for who reblogged my posts as they were always the top of the tags (even if I don’t trust how bad you are at research). I supported the BLM movement and still do and will always do but I did so veeery early without anyone telling me. Not for the notes but because of my humanity. I wished my dear followers’ happy holidays no matter their religions. And never cared about those things. Why judge someone on something based on religion or how they were born. As for the LGBTQ+ community, I was always and will always be there for love being love. I talked about mental health and opened venting nights. I helped left and right and when I was receiving hate because of people like you spitting lies about me. What did I do? Did I go online and called people bad? No. I looked back at myself and asked myself if I did anything wrong. I tried to educate myself and apologized sincerely when I had to. I read books and watched documentaries to learn how to become a better human. AND never repeated a mistake twice. You tend to forget that our cultures are different and sometimes you grow up to see some things as normal when they are not. This is not an excuse tho, so I always believed that I was lacking and if someone had something to say against me, there is a chance they are right and just in case I should reflect on myself. But for your case it was pure nonsense. ME? a stalker? how can I stalk when I have social anxiety and at that time couldn’t even leave my room? I am even afraid of taking public transportations and just the other days I was crying from joy when I took a taxi alone. they said I was in Japan stalking Jimin and Jungkook and took a pic when I was NEVER EVER was on that land. You put me on the same list as people who bought info about BTS’ flights to be on the same plane as them? I was stalked before and let me tell you it ain’t cute and fun. I am even scared of the idea of being followed. that’s why I never shared openly my age, country, or anything about me on my blog. that’s why I have no personal social media to this day and that’s why making my ex-blog was some sort of miracle in my life. 

Silent? yes I was silent when I received hate and didn’t even vent to my dear followers or pointed fingers. Why? because I thought as my day was hell I shouldn’t make anyone’s day worse. I was worried about my dear followers with mental illnesses being triggered. I tried to take my life so many times I lost count but I still came here and smiled. It was my safe place and you took it away. Yet, I should pity you? You hated on me first for no reason and you know it deep inside but right now you are trying to convince yourself that you are the angel and feel no guilt. Compared to you. I pointed fingers at no one and didn’t name you when my blog was gone. Why? because compared to you, I thought you will not be able to manage the hate and what was done .. I didn’t want you to suffer the same way I did when you are the one who made me suffer the most the past couple of days. But the kind Mimi is someone you will never remember because you dared touch the friends I love and calling them names. I don’t mind people insulting me but don’t you dare touch my people. I know myself best. My dear friends/followers know me best. I thought ... I could leave without this mess but you keep barking in my ask box and it’s annoying. I left this backup account just to talk to my friends and yet you are here to ruin things again? I should stop being kind to the ones who deserve non of it. I ignored you when I had so many followers and you went silent too because you were scared of me. But as soon as I lost my blog because of you, you went, edited and then reblogged that stalker post. How can I be a stalker? do you even know the definition of a stalker? do you even know shame? well .. I don’t think so.. you said it yourself. You are NOT ashamed (and you reblogged that so many time lol). 

Death threats? this is no competition but thanks to people like you I have been there and wish no one to be there not even you. The only difference is that you almost killed me for real. You were not the sole reason? Great job walking away from you beloved word: RESPONSIBILITY. And I didn’t get just anon hate, I got literal tagging by people like you, DMs, and people pointing guns at me. That’s why I didn’t mention you. I was worried about the one who took away what I worked for for 4 YEARS. I was more sad and concerned about the ARMY fandom here. Do you know how many rely on my updates? do you know how many people said I helped them? do you know any of that? do you think 200k people were “rats”? Do you think if I did and say wrong thing I will not be questioned by those people. I always told my dear followers: “friends, if I do or say anything wrong or share anything that hurts anyone please tell me. I am willing to learn from everyone.” But what did you know? what did you do? Well ..  guess you love notes? As the most notes you ever got and the most attention was when talking about me? 

Love how you talk about fetishing when my blog was what people call “family friendly”. I also like BTS. I love them for their music, talent, personalities and the happiness they give me. I also enjoy BTS’ bond and love their interactions. I posted content of all kinds of interactions JM X JK, JK X V, V X JIN, JIN X SG, SG X JH, JH X RM, RM X JM ... If you are calling this fetishing asian men just because I scream over BTS as a fan and love their bonb. Then aren’t you against the idea of being an ARMY? I was a clear OT7 and you were told that you weren’t right: 

 Then you answered this without even explaining the nonsense about me: 

idk .. I am trying to find sense in your nonsense so .. wait wait let me look at the definition of fetishism first. 

Fetishism /ˈfɛtɪʃɪz(ə)m/ noun: a form of sexual behavior in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, activity, part of the body, etc.

Then .. judging from your URL alone hmmm ... cute. I won’t even talk about the SMUT you write that is full of kinks and fetishism. Well I have no problem with fan fiction but the irony you spit is out of this world.

Also, I made money out of mimibtsghost? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH no lil one. I worked day and night for FREE. At some point when BT21 just came out and there were no products on AMAZON or anywhere but S.Korea, someone reached out to me to offer 20% off or something for my dear followers. When they asked what I wanted I said what about international giveaways for my dear followers. Basically, made gifs, found content, updates, analysis, edits, and so on for free. Again, w-wait .. Aren’t you the one asking for commissions? Well .. It’s not wrong. But again THE irony. 

So, I went to see that post you made about me with “PROOF” and it was just another person who was salty as I got them blocked I can’t even recall who they were but oh well. Their arguments according to YOU and many should be taken as FACTS just because they said them?  You said HERE that your first comeback was MOST:7 that came in just last year (2020) SO what the hell do YOU know about what happened years before you came when all the proof you pointed at where baseless without any backing?

Let’s see this so wise person you used to delete my blog and what I have done ^^

The gifs: There is a story to this. The first week I came to Tumblr, It was my first time on this site and the first time I share anything. I shared some content and my analysis had a lot of notes for a small creator that started just a week ago. But I made a mistake, I found a gif and posted it while crediting the gif maker. At the time I had NO idea it was wrong. I logged off and after 5 hours I log in and there was a WAR for that ONE gif. The big blog had me blocked and her friend was telling me to take it off. As soon as the person told me I did IMMEDIATELY and apologized againa and again and told them to tell the original gif maker to deblock me as I want to apologize directly and that they can block me after that. They did and I apologized but they just kept insulting me. Of course it was MY mistake and that’s why I apologized. But for them. for a mere gif (yes I say a mere gif because I made so many gifs and they were used on all platforms but I never thought it was necessary to hate that much on someone like they did to me). That blog was big and had big blog mutuals. Thanks to that, I became someone you do NOT become mutuals with but block and never reblog content from. Without any big mutuals. Without any shoutouts. Only my love for BTS, my dear followers’ support and my hard work.. My blog, became bigger and FAST (I got 10k in less than 6 months after I started) and that brought loads of jealousy and thus more rumors. Even if, I apologized and since then made my own gifs. And I made SO many gifsets that I can’t remember how many there were. What I can recall is at some point I made them daily and many times a day.

Ships Jikook? I posted content of ALL the members interactions. I was here at a time where Jikook stans and Taekook stans where always fighting. BUT I posted about both and even made so many posts to encourage loving all the members and all the interactions. I also used the tags solely used for shipping with other big tags to show that BTS’ interactions are all important and their bond is beutiful. That our fandom shouldn’t hate on a member just because they are not part of a ship we like. And wait .. even if I shipped Jikook? I got called ALL those names by someone who ship the members with readers and write sexual scenes? Like, wait ... I am truly confused. Like, write fanfic and do all you want as long as you hurt no one I guess but why am I getting hurt for doing non of it? Like according to you, the person you should be cancelling is yourself?! I am also not into cancel culture like you so hahah whatever.

Posted stalker pics: well wow the story changes each time. Next thing you will hear that I was the one holding a camera for a member in a Vlive lol. Let me teach you about this update thing I was doing. I follow accounts I trust and that’s how we get info circulating fast. I always do reasearch but sometimes mistakes are made. For example when lately people shared pictures of BTS leaving their virtual concerts and schedules. There was a watermark of a news outlet. Normally we trust those but only later we realized that those people stalked BTS. You clearly can’t know it all. But I still didn’t share many pics related to many events (I will not name those as pple can search them even now because some pple never deleted those). And all big accounts shared many pics then deleted later. This happens all the time but it happened like ONCE for me. However, I am called a stalker for that? 

When Jonghyun passed away ... I don’t even wanna recall that night as the memories just ... when that happened I posted about it and send my condolescences. that post had over 10k notes and was at the top the tag. Why did I do that? I was devastated. Yes, many were but I will talk about me rn: I was suicidal the days before that and one of the songs that I listened to when I was broken where by him. I has been in the kpop world since 2006. And learned about his group since their debut with ‘Replay’. I was never a stan but I still knew of many groups and listened to all the songs I liked. I was very sad when he was gone and ANGRY mostly. Why is this angel leaving? Why is someone like me still here? Why did I not leave instead of him? How much did he suffer? And in the midst I posted a post from twitter that stated how agencies usually put down pple with mental illiness and hide it in the industry. Yes, that was important but NOT at that time. I shouldn’t have posted that and I realized after 5 min of doing so that it was WRONG. So I deleted it FAST but it kept being reblogged and I kept getting hate and people telling me: “Go kill yourself”... the sad part is that I almost did as my answer was “true ... why am I still here?” I apologized and logged off then to this day won’t forget crying at 3 AM while walking outside next to my dad. I was outside as I couldn’t breathe anymore and the idea of seeing the walls of my room was hell. I cried and cried and the teary eyes that my father looked at me with are something I am ashamed of to this day. To add one more thing while I am spilling the beans. I hate learning about someone dying. My grandma passed away sometime before that and it was so shocking to me. and some people came and told me when I was mourning her: Go follow that bitch of grandmother of yours. And for what? At that moment I didn’t think I would live to see the next year but I went to therapy and took medecine that was hurting and made me shake all day just to turn somewhat sane. No one knew tho ... I smiled all day and cried all night.. Even on the blog I fought no one of the ones who hated me. I just blocked them but even that was an insult to them?

Again, you said no one should defend me. Yet, you were ready to fight whoever touched anyone around you. What about changing your URL to beautifulassirony

Also THE hypocrisy. If you are sorry then why are you answering an ask of someone isulting someone you want to apologize to? Just make a post wher you apologize or ignore it from the start?

One more thing but surely not the last. You said you were good with research which you are NOT. So, let me show you what an OG detective ARMY can do. But first, as I was scrolling I saw some of your “work” (let’s not even talk about those gifs) and I am just giving my point of view here: I hate how you painted Namjoon as this horny-idiotic-make-dog. Like I get it it’s a fanfic or Namjoon as a dad but ... Namjoon is such a smart man who is very respectful and ofc he is a human with needs like many but what the hell is this way of portraying a character? Also a character is not cool, amazing, and a strong woman just because they curse and belittle their partner. 

Oh well, only you kept reblogging that as it show 36 reblogs when only 33 as still there when I looked and out of those 13 reblogs are yours? (you might have reblogged it more) but again some people might have liked ... people have different taste ... so ... whatever. 

Let’s continue, shall we ^^. You said you were the victim here when I was the one getting robbed right? How can I believe someone who reblogged the post below and was proud calling themselves an abomination or how the Oxford dictionary defines it:  a thing that causes disgust or loathing. For once you weren’t wrong.

What can you expect from someone who has the “I am not like others” kinda mentality while stating relatable things that everyone goes through?

This is getting pretty long. So to sum this up. You are now telling others that hate is NOt ok and that they should be ashamed of themselves when you yourself is not ashamed of hating on me?

I am not the type that sends anon hate. I might ignore some barking but the past days you came and bite me hard. I face the ones I have to face without fear. I know I am not the bad guy here and I don’t care much what you think about me. Even BTS got haters. This says a lot. BUT do NOT dare talk badely of my dear friends/followers. You said you do research well? Start by deleting the post below that was originally by ME from your blog ... oh how meticulous you are. From your baseless receipts to your twisted logic. Indeed people on the internet can say anything and it will be FACTS. You painted me as the devil and painted yourself as this researcher? What’s next you receiving a Phd in ‘pity me’ after your MBA in lies and irony? Whatever~ 

Whaaatever~ Karma will have upcoming talks with you. No need for you to apologize. I never cared about you and you only got attention using me. But I am not here anymore how will you get that blog running now? Are you gonna add me in a fanfic next? No need for you to send me my appearance fee when you do so~ And no need for you to apologize to me just apologize to you conscience if you have any left.  As for me @hobisbeautifulass​ you are just someone I will forget soon anyway~~ 

And because according to what you said HERE when you described the things you hate about people and I thought that was VERY close to how you treated me. Thus, you might really not stand yourself rn.

Do.Not.Worry. BTS are starting the Love Myself campaign again and just in time for you to jump in (you are good at jumping to conclusions about me so I won’t worry about you). I know you don’t like me or my friends but be sure to love yourself at least ^^ 

You are a Hobi stan? Then learn from Hobi to share some sunshine not bring the storm. Have a good day~

[beskarberry]

Krayt’s Teeth

Bargaining with Beskar, Chapter 3 (The Mandalorian x f!reader)

The sound of crashing and shouting was hot on your tail, the other hunters had followed you and were gaining fast. You saw a light rapidly approaching ahead of you, and the two of you burst out into the brilliant daylight to the worst possible place: a dead fucking end.

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 6.7k

Content warnings: Canon typical violence, killing in self defense, headcanon angst, FLUFF, sensory deprivation, body worship, oral sex (f receiving).

A/N: These are my headcanons regarding Mandalorian culture in terms of sex, I didn’t find much lore on it so whether it’s accurate or not idk but I like them and that’s all that matters! Enjoy~

<-Previous Next->

You could have slept forever, even on that horrible little cot you were so comfortable that you could have been out for days, but the only one on it was you. You did’t know when Mando got up from the tiny space you both shared through the night, or how he managed to get out from your tangled bodies without waking you up. You opened your eyes to tiny green baby hands tugging at your fingers. 

“Hey booger, is it time for breakfast? Where’s your papa?” You started to sit up, but the horrible sticky mess underneath you made you reluctant to move, a mix of passion and pain from the day before. “Yikes. I’m gonna run all his water out if I have to keep using the fresher. Come on, let’s get scrubbed up.” The baby gibbered excitedly at you, though you weren’t sure how much of what you said he actually understood. You scooped him into your arms without looking back at the sad little cot and all its stains. “You’re water proof, right?”

The ship’s engines were rumbling away, so you guessed tin man was up in the cockpit flying you towards your next bounty. Or Nevarro. You would have to find Mr. Mystery later, the grossness that was you had to be dealt with. Between you and the child your shower took forever, the two of you getting water and soap bubbles from top to bottom. You didn’t care. You had been on Tatooine for months without having a real shower, being consigned to the sonic freshers that vibrated the sand off of the moisture farmer’s bodies; and this was the second real shower you’d gotten to have in twice as many days. You spent a good deal of time trying to get your chatty friend to hold still long enough to be dried off, the little fart squealing with joy every time you went for him with the towel.

An ordeal later you were both fresh and presentable, but your host was still nowhere to be seen, though the ugly sheets had thankfully disappeared from view. The ship was quiet now, without the engine running you knew you had to be back on the ground, and you could hear a distinct hum of activity coming through the walls. Space port? He flew us into town? The thought was replaced immediately with a rich, savory smell coming through the air vents: FOOD! Your gut grumbled loud enough to resonate through the cabin and earn you a confused look from the baby. When was the last time you really ate? You’d been living on ration packs for the last couple of days. That was going to change right now.

“Ya hungry buddy? Me too! Maybe that’s where your dad is, hmm?” Grabbing your old backpack and hooking the baby under your arm you started punching buttons on the wall to get the door open, sending walls sliding and cabinets opening before you got one of the access ramps open. Bright double sunlight nearly blinded you, and on reflex you covered the baby’s giant googly eyes. It took a moment for your own to adjust to the radiant light of the Tatooine morning, and the smell of cooking food hit you like a ton of bricks, making your mouth water. As your eyes adjusted you were able to take in your surroundings: though it was bright outside you were parked low inside a maintenance bay, the walls of which soared high above you; littered with engine parts and humming with droid activity. Sound was the last input your hungry brain could process, but when it did you didn’t like what you heard. The sounds of an argument echoed around the hangar, high and shrill.

“I already told you, you can’t park here! You’re bad for business!”

“I just need to park here long enough to get supplies.”

“Well you’re gonna have to pay up, Mando! I’m not running a charity here! You got credits for supplies you got credits for parking! Up front this time!”

Oh no.

Of all the mechanics and docking hangars in Mos Eisley he had to pick this one. The fireball of a woman barely came up to your partner’s chest, but she made up for it with unbridled fury; and the giant cooked animal leg she was swinging around like a club between bites made her look even more formidable. She noticed you coming down the ramp and stopped grilling your comrade long enough to glare daggers through your skull.

“Oh NO! No nope nuh uh! You can turn right back around and get back on that ship, missy! I knew it! I knew you were bad for business, Mando! What’re you doing running around with her? I hope she’s your bounty because she’s your problem!”

“Peli.” Your words were cold as ice, but the squirming baby in your arms took all the malice out of your stance. He wiggled until you set him down, and he ran towards the mechanic with open arms.

“Baby! You can stay but your dad’s gotta take the mean lady somewhere else! She cheats at sabacc!”

“You lost fair and square, Peli! Try playing a better hand next time!”

“Ladies please!”  Mando cut through your bickering, holding his arms up between the two of you like he was trying to corner a pair of wild blurgs. “If I let the child stay with you for the day, will you let me park the Razor Crest here? Just for a couple hours?”

Peli bounced the child on her hip, offering him a bite of her breakfast. The baby squealed happily while he sank his little teeth into the mighty snack, though the size of it comically dwarfed his itty bitty hands. “I’ll tell you what, you let me keep him and then maybe I’ll let you park here in a week.” Mando cocked his helmet at her with disdain and she huffed loudly, “Well if you put it that way, I guess you can park here, but you gotta put five hundred credits down, and not a cent less!”

Mando reeled, stabbing his hands to his hips with indignation. “Five hund- absolutely not! What am I going to buy our-” You interrupted his tirade with a hand on his shoulder, waving a slew of credits in front of his eyes. Peli snatched them out of your hand, fanning them out like cards to count them.

“Who’d you cheat these outta?”

“Don’t worry about it.” You leaned casually against your metal man, eyeing Peli with a smug look on your face. “Let’s go, Mando. Bye baby green bean, have fun with Auntie Cheats-at-Sabacc!” You spun him around by the hand and dragged him towards the exit, ignoring the insults being slung at your back. “We are getting breakfast and that’s final!”

The Mandalorian allowed you to pull him along a few feet before grinding his heels into the sand, shaking his head. “You have to stay here.”

Now it was your turn for sassy head tilts. “I just paid for your parking, buckethead, that makes me in charge and I’m hungry! I’ll buy you breakfast too if you want.” He didn’t budge, fixing you with that intense stare of his and grabbing you by the shoulders.

“You are still being hunted. Mos Eisley isn’t safe for you.”

Ah.

You knew you could look after yourself, and he himself had compared you to a ferocious rancor just yesterday. You groaned loudly, “Shit balls of hell. But dad, I’m huuunngry!” The man bristled at your paternal harassment, sighing heavily and letting his helmeted head fall to the side like the world was ending. He glanced around the hangar exit, his shiny beskar snapping to each object of interest until he located a protocol droid corpse that was missing everything from the waist down. He strode over to it and held it down with one boot, yanking it by the head until it popped off. He began prying the droid’s vocorder apart at the mouth, pulling it wide until the droids face plate broke off with a snap! Tossing the rest of the logic processing unit to the ground, he held the face plate up to the light, inspecting the clarity of its photo receptor casings. He bent back down to the junk pile and fished out a stray wire to thread through the ruined audio processors, then tossed the finished creation to you.

“Put that on.”

You turned the makeshift mask over in your hands to check for sharp edges before you pressed it to your face. The bug eyes on the front were dirty, but you could see well enough. Before you could clean them more thoroughly you felt the weight of fabric on your head, his cloak now worn as your own. The thought of how you must look made you giggle. “You make me take my clothes off, now you want me to put clothes on. It never ends with you, Mando. Next you’ll be forging me beskar. Now can we eat something, please?” Without a word the armored man turned on his heel and walked out the hangar exit. I’ll take that as a yes.

Mos Eisley buzzed with life, people and animals and things you couldn’t explain made their way up and down the bustling streets. The smell of food led you to a vendor selling something that could have been a root vegetable, covered in herbs and spices and grilled to perfection. You couldn't wait, all thoughts of self-preservation went out the window as you hauled ass to the stand, waving two fingers in the air. When you had both of your prizes in hand you stuffed the savory veggie under your mask, sighing contentedly at the taste of real honest-to-Maker food. “Hey tin man, I hope you like... whatever this-” You turned to offer your partner something to eat, but he had disappeared from the crowd. “Alright... more for me.”

Taking a newspaper from the vendor you wrapped the extra snack up tight and threw it in your pack for later, continuing to chow down on your own. You would find Mando eventually, and you had credits to spend. You had held onto your hush-money for months to avoid suspicion, but now it was burning a hole in your pocket. Wandering the streets of Mos Eisley from merchant to merchant you began accumulating a small hoard of supplies, ranging from bacta to hand tools, and food. Whatever you could get your hands on that would survive hyperspace when you inevitably left this fucking dirtball for good; though you still weren’t convinced that you wouldn’t be making that flight in carbonite. You picked out new clothes and underwear, a much-needed bedroll, and some soft bantha-wool blankets. Something further down the marketplace caught your eye, and you made your way to the fancier items that glittered in the double daylight. You didn’t wear jewelry yourself, a poor choice of attire for a hunter, but the way the trinkets caught the light still made you wistful. Your hidden eyes danced over the glittering treasures; jewels and geodes that had been found deep in the sands and polished to a radiant shine.

You spotted something opalescent at the end of one table and found a pair of krayt teeth, each about the size of your palm. They had been sanded to a smooth, flat finish and carved with intricate desert patterns. The backs of them had tiny fittings that could be sewn on as buttons, or pulled off to reveal magnets. Something about their shape seemed familiar, though you couldn’t imagine why in that moment. You purchased the unique pieces anyway, something to remind you that even the harshest of places could hold hidden beauty. After a while you had so much junk piled in your arms that you could barely see over it, and tin man was nowhere to be found. You spotted a courier droid and paid for it to deliver your treasures back to Hanger 3-5, though you kept the pricey teeth in your pockets. With your arms free you started looking for your missing comrade.

The streets were busy with people, you would have to get somewhere out of the way in order to scan the crowds. Your eyes went from shimmer to shimmer, looking for his reflective chrome dome. “Big jerk,” you mused to yourself “‘Mos Eisley’s not saaafe...’ If he’s so worried then where the hell is he? Bah!” The scratched-up photoreceptor casings of your mask made it a challenge to see through the crowd, and you took a moment to adjust the iris apertures so you wouldn’t have to keep squinting into the double sunshine when you felt a hand on your back. Finally. “Mando, where have you-”

“Mando? Whos’sis man-do? Nah sssweetheart, I think you got me confused wi’ sssomeone elssse.” The slithering voice in your ear made your blood run cold. Not Mando! You rocketed your elbow backwards, connecting with the gut of the stranger on your back with an -oof! The hand let go long enough for you to make a run for it, and you tore off down the streets of the busy spaceport, smashing into bystanders in your wake. You cast a quick look behind you to see a large reptilian body flying after you, brownish scales catching the reflection of the noonday suns. Though you had your blaster, the risk of hitting a civilian was too great, so running would have to do. You were thankful for the courier droid that had freed your hands just minutes before as you barreled down the busy streets.

Market stalls flew past you, your boots kicking up sand and dust. The mask on your face, as dirty as it was, kept the debris from your eyes as you raced through the sunburnt city. You had to lose this fucker and fast. You turned down an alley, left, right, another right, leaping over supply crates and low fences like a lothcat. You turned to see if you had lost your chaser, breath heaving and heart pounding. Behind you was clear, but you took your eyes off your path for just a second too long, and were taken by surprise when a heavy weight fell on you from above.

The Trandoshan had gone over the low sandstone roofs, chasing you easily through the alleyways of Mos Eisley while you were none the wiser. He pinned you under him quickly, ripping your blaster off your hip and pointing your own barrel in your face. “Tha’ss enough, princesss! Nice n’ quietlike now. You gonna make me a pretty penny you are.” The lizard’s words dripped with metaphorical venom, though you were sure by the look of those fangs that real venom was probably right behind. “Ahm gonna cart yer arse right back to th’ Guild’n I’ll become th’ most famous hunter in th’ galax -urk!”  With a sickening gag the hunter above you grew a shiny new fang in the back of his throat before falling down dead on top of you, a vibroblade protruding from back of his skull.

“Took you long enough!” You hollered at your chrome companion, who was stepping forward to kick the carcass off of you. “Where the fuck have you been? Getting your rifle polished?” He pulled you to your feet, handing you your blaster while readjusting the mask on your face. You swatted at his fussing hands, but when you looked at him you were shocked to see not one but three blinking bounty fobs dangling from his belt. On the ground by the dead lizard was a fourth, flashing rapidly in the sand.

“I told you you weren’t safe! We need to leave right now.”  You were barely able to grab the remaining bounty fob while you were being tugged away by your allied hunter. He had a death grip on your hand, pulling you along behind him towards what you hoped was the docking hangar. You would have to cross the main street to get there, and as the pair of you plowed across the dusty, busy road there came shouts from either side. More hunters, fucking Guild! You didn’t have a single second to assess them before you were lead through an alley on the other side of the street. These were darker than the ones you had run through on the west side of town, and shady bodies moved quickly out of the way of your living locomotive.

At the end of a narrow alley you both burst through a door leading into an abandoned building. The darkness was almost worse than the blinding sunlight, you would need time for your eyes to adjust but the Mandalorian had enough sensory detection equipment that he ghosted through the ruinous building with ease; never once letting go of your hand as you tripped and stumbled through the dark. The sound of crashing and shouting was hot on your tail, the other hunters had followed you and were gaining fast. You saw a light rapidly approaching ahead, and the two of you burst out into the brilliant daylight to the worst possible place: a dead fucking end.

“There! Get down!” Mando pointed at a pile of rubble, probably big enough to hide behind, but that’s not how you handled business.

“Fuck you! I’m not going down without a fight!” You pulled your blaster out and aimed at the incoming assailants. He growled at you and stepped closer, putting his body in between you and the door. The reptilian hunters burst from the darkness of the warehouse, firing rapid shots of blaster charges that bounced off of Mando’s beskar. You fired over his protective arm, taking out the first one and tripping up the second, who fell over his cohorts limp body. Mando took shot after shot to the chest, reeling with each impact. His other arm cocked back and shot out, sending a wall of fire into the last of the Guild’s hired guns.

Both of you were panting, shaking and sweating from flying through Mos Eisley, but the sound of blaster fire would draw attention and you knew there was no time to waste. You stepped over the incinerated corpse, making sure the fob it carried was melted, the second body still squirmed in the dirt, and you weren’t going to let it get a second chance, firing your blaster through it’s scaly skull. You picked the remaining two fobs and stuffed them in your pockets, making a run for it back through the building with Mando right behind, the blaze of his flamethrower lighting your way.

You took a different door out of the building and were relieved to see the words ‘HANGAR 3-5′ painted in bright blue Basic straight ahead. You skittered through the entrance, rounding the corner and dropping down behind the edges of the hangar doorway. Mando did the same on the other side, both of you pointing your blasters back towards Mos Eisley’s dark heart. Bootsteps behind you made you snap around, and you nearly shot your mechanically inclined host.

“You kids have fun out there?” Peli stood over where you were hunched, and you lowered your blaster to the ground. At her feet your little buddy was holding onto her pant leg, making big puppy dog eyes at you. You looked over to Mando to make sure there weren’t any more coming, but he still held his blaster out ahead. After a few tense seconds he lowered it down until it was back in its’ holster, then pulled himself to his feet.

“We can’t stay any longer, we’re putting you in danger. Time to go, kiddo.” His charred beskar still shimmered when he bent down to pick up his adopted son, who chirped with delight. “Thank you for watching him.”

“He can stay any time! Oh and thanks for all the snacks you made that droid bring me!” Peli called after the three of you as your party quickly boarded the Razor, making you turn around and stick your tongue out at her. She happily flipped you off and started closing the ground entrance to the bay, letting you board the ship uninterrupted. Fortunately, the courier droid’s delivery had made it to the ship, though you couldn't help but notice a few of your most carefully picked snacks had been taken as collateral. Fucking Peli. As much as she infuriated you, there wasn’t another person on all of Tatooine that you would rather play sabacc with.

The old rust bucket rumbled to life, taking off into the midafternoon sky and pointed towards the stars. Finally! Bye motherfucker. The hazy atmosphere of the outer rim planet fell away below you until the light of the bright yellow world illuminated the Crest’s stern. The pre-Imperial scrapheap started howling with noise, and you were almost thrown to the deck when it blasted into the safety of hyper space.

Your heart was still racing and you struggled to catch your breath. Once you had yourself in order you started busying yourself with putting the supplies away, filling the food larder to capacity. The child was contentedly telling you about his day with his auntie in his cute baby gibberish, and you picked him up off the ground to give him a much needed hug, pushing your stolen identity onto the top of your head to give him kisses. You almost wanted to ignore the sound of heavy armored boots hitting the floor panel under the ladder, their wearer opting to jump down from the cockpit rather than climb. You could feel the fury coming off of him as he stalked over to where you were sorting your treasures.

“You could have been hurt! I knew it was a bad idea to let you go wandering around, even with your face covered. What if they’d caught you? I picked three of them off before you even saw one!”

“I had it under control, Mando! I’m not some princess that needs you coming to her rescue at every sign of a struggle. And you don’t get to let me do anything, you don’t own me!” The man under your scrutiny paced the cabin on stiff legs with his hands on his hips, helmet snapping with rage.

“I know you can handle yourself, but I need to protect you.” He said with a huff, “And that lizard was... he had you pinned down, had his filthy, scaly claws on you... Nobody should touch you like that! What if.. what if he... I- I- didn’t like that he was...” Listening to the sound of the gears jamming in his head made you realize the ridiculous thing he was trying to say.

“Are you.. Mando are you jealous?”

“No! I- I’m.. Cyar’ika I... ”

Oh no, you don’t get to be cute right now. “I don’t know what that means, Mando! What is that, some kind of sexy little pet name you use on all the girls you take underneath of you?”

“NO! I didn’t- I would nev- I’ve never had... There’s never been- no!” Oh how you wished you could see his face, watching him flail trying to defend himself from your accusation, he was probably white as a sheet under all that armor.

“Never what, Mandalorian?”

“I’ve never had anyone in this ship before!” The Mandalorian’s confession lost steam halfway through as embarrassment and fear crept into his throat, threatening to choke him with his own secrets.

“Wait.. wait wait. Never? You’ve never had anyone in this ship or...” You started approaching him, analyzing his visor for hints of meaning. “Or you’ve never had anyone at all?” The Mandalorian stopped his pacing, but his shoulders looked like they were carrying the weight of the galaxy. His silence told you everything, and the last piece of his puzzle fell into place. “Mando...was I your first?”

“Y-yes.” His visor tilted up to you, hands fidgeting at his sides. His voice was faint and sheepish, a stark contrast to the thunderstorm you were arguing with a moment ago.  Your eyes were full of questions, all racing through your mind so quickly none of them made it to your mouth. The metal man answered them all for you in one singular motion, raising his fist to knock a couple times against his beskar helmet. His creed.

“So, what, you guys aren’t allowed to have sex?”

He sighed his heavy, trademarked sigh and plopped down on the nearest supply crate with a defeated thud, cradling his head in his hands. “No it’s not that. Not... not exactly. In Mando’a the word we use is me'dinuir. It means ‘to give’, specifically to give yourself to another. And... when you give yourself away to someone-“ He turned the black gloss of his single eye up to you, “-you belong to them. That is The Way.”

The weight of his words made your blood cold. He was jealous, but not just because that other hunter had put his scaly hands on you. Everything about his attitude around you suddenly made sense, the way he had looked at you when you were presenting yourself to him that first day, why he never threw you in carbonite when he probably should have, and how he had stayed with you through the night after you nearly died hunting his bounty. His mysterious way of life decreed that giving his body to you meant that he had also given you his soul, and that made you just as important to protect as his foundling.

Mando reached out to pat the fuzzy green head of the baby you were still holding, who gibbered sleepily up at his armor plated papa. “I’m sorry to put that on you, and I’m sorry for how I acted. You’re not my bounty anymore, and I shouldn’t try to control you. I understand if you don’t want to continue with me to the next bounty. You can take whatever you want from the armory when we land next. I’m.. I’m so sorry.” The monolithic man looked so tiny now, sitting on the edge of the crate with his shoulders hunched. He reached his arms out to take his infant son from you, hugging him to his blast-burnt chest and smoothing his massive ears. "I didn’t get to thank you for washing him earlier, he smells really good.”

You desperately needed to know more, though the sight of him fawning over his sleepy son made your heart swell. “I kinda got the feeling that you were rusty when we met, but that was actually your first time? And what does that mean ‘you belong to them’? How can you belong to me? I don’t even know your name.”

"It means that I’m now sworn to protect the one that carries my soul. I’m not asking you to do the same, you’re not Mandalorian.”

His words made you feel sick, ashamed that you had taken something so sacred from him without a second thought, but how could you have known? He could have stopped at any time, you were the one in cuffs that day, not him. No, out of trillions and trillions of sentient beings in the galaxy he chose to give himself to you, knowing full well what his heritage decreed. Why you? Arms crossed, you dug deeper. “You’ve never seen another naked body than your own?”

He shook his head. “Just... holo-vids...”

You were going to have to ask him about those later. “Nothing? You’ve at least kissed someone before though, right?”

“Kissed?”

Maker fucking help you. “Yeah you know, kissing? The thing you do with your... oh, right." You reached up and tapped him twice on the beskar. “You need your face to do it.”

He cocked his helmet at you. “Can you show me?”

The innocence of his question made you melt. Fuck you, tin can, you’re not supposed to be cute when you’re in trouble. You reached your hand out, demanding he give you his, and shyly he obeyed. You pulled his hand to your lips, unsure of how much he could actually feel through his thick leather gloves. You pressed his hand to your lips and watched his whole body snap straight. “Kiss, like that.”

He was staring at his hand like he’d never seen it before, and after a moment he pulled your locked fingers to his head, tapping his forehead with the back of your hand. “Kov’nynir, But we do it with our helmets.”  At this rate you’ll be speaking Mando’a in no time. He still held your hand gently, running his thumb over your fingers. “I think I like your way better. Could... Could you do that again?”

So polite, maybe having him stuck with you wouldn’t be so bad. You pulled his hand back to you, giving him another soft kiss on the side of his thumb, and you heard the sound of his breath catching in his modulator. Your lips pressed to each of his knuckles, and then you turned his wrist to kiss his palm. “How’s that?”

“That’s amazing.”

“You like that? Watch this.” Addressing the bantha in the room would have to wait. You tugged his glove off, revealing the warm bronze skin underneath and kissed him again. The hitched breaths coming out of his modulator were honey to your ears, and you turned his wrist over to kiss his bare palm again, hunting for more sweet sounds. His body was so stiff, so tightly wound you thought he might snap. “Are you ok? Do I need to stop?”

“I- I- want to... Can... Can I try?” You nodded, your heart jumping to your throat at the thought of him removing his helmet in front of you, but instead he gently reached up to the busted droid face you still wore on your head. With a twist of a knob the armatures inside of the eye casings coiled shut, and when he slid the mask down into place you were thrown into total darkness. “Can you see?” You shook your head. “Promise?”

You sighed, long and frustrated. “I promise, dark as a sarlacc’s backside.” You were met with only silence. Then, after what felt like an eternity you heard the sliding sound of metal as the child’s pram shield slid closed, then the shuffle of armor being removed, and lastly the dull thunk of something heavy being set down on the crates. His hand found yours again, and he pressed his lips against your skin. They were hotter than you were expecting, and soft, almost plush. You understood right away why he was so rigid when you were doing the same, it was amazing. Gentle kisses made their way over the back of your hand and made heat flood through your veins. He moved slowly over each joint, following the same pattern you had shown him, then turned your hand over and kissed at your fingertips. Something fuzzy brushed along with his lips, and you imagined that he might have a mustache. The shivers that crept their way up from your captured hand knocked all the strangeness of your conversation out of your mind, but when he reached your wrist he stopped.

“Where else do you kiss at?” You nearly fainted at the sound of his unfiltered voice, a rich baritone that dripped with dark intentions and stole all the words from your mouth. You could only point with your other hand at the forearm attached to the hand he held. Again you felt his lips on your wrist, then slowly, inch by agonizing inch he made his way up your arm, each kiss slower than the last until your toes were curling in their boots. When he reached the edge of the tunic’s sleeve that hung at your elbow he paused again. “Where else?”

“Everywhere.”  Your tormentor hummed at your consenting words and let go of your hand to run his palms down your clothed thighs. When he reached your knees he pulled on their joints, bidding you to bring your legs up over his lap. When you were seated on him he resumed his trek up your arm, kissing at the crease of your elbow and then upwards over your tunic until he reached your shoulder. When he got to your neck you almost buckled over, but his hands were at your back in an instant, wrapping heavily around your waist. Your own hands made their way to the nape of his neck, and your fingers found the edge of his hairline that you had felt before. To your delight you felt that the tousled curls went all the way up, and you tangled your fingers in them, exploring their softness while he explored you.

His journey led him up your neck to the base of your jaw where he nipped gently at the sensitive skin like you had done to him last night, sending a fresh wave of goosebumps from your head to your toes. When his nose bumped the edge of your mask you were suddenly aware of how silly you might look with your big bug eyes. “Can I take this thing off?” you asked in a whisper. “I won’t look.”

“I have a better Idea. Hold on tight.” You dug your hands into his shoulders and felt his arms wrap under your legs as he stood up, lifting you with such ease that you wondered if he felt your weight at all. His boots echoed through the cabin until he stopped at the other end. You hung on for dear life while he climbed the ladder with you still wrapped around his front. When you both reached the top you let yourself unwind from him and scooted on your butt over the floor, listening to the sound of him pulling himself all the way up. You remained seated as your host fussed around the flight deck, the noise of buttons pressing and switches being thrown the only input to your deprived senses.

You were only unattended for a moment, then his hands found your waist, fishing for the edge of your shirt. The tunic was pulled up and over your head, taking your mask with it, and you squeezed your eyes shut to protect his modesty; unsure of what his unconventional oath to you included in the fine print. Your diligence was rewarded with a kiss on your forehead, then down to kiss both of your closed eyes, and then lastly to your lips. The searing heat of his mouth on yours threatened to throw your eyes open, but when they fluttered all you saw was darkness. The transperisteel’s blast shielding had been closed, and the only light in the cockpit came from a handful of illuminated buttons on the dash.

He was lying over top of you on the metal floor, one arm wrapped under your neck for support. The cold decking under you was uncomfortable, but you couldn’t be bothered to care, letting yourself be consumed by his kisses and becoming drunk on the scent of leather and adrenaline. The soft fuzz of his facial hair tickled slightly as he pressed into your lips, and you couldn’t help but smile. Your hands went to his face, running your thumbs over his cheeks and feeling what you weren’t allowed to see. His face was scruffy but not unkempt, and the bristles went all the way from his jaw up to the bottom of the defined nose that bumped against your own. You felt the creases on the corners of his eyes, wishing you could see his smile lines and all the stories they would tell.

You kissed him back, letting your tongue glide over his plush lips and making him inhale sharply. You licked into him again, and this time you were met with his tongue as well, just the faintest touch of its tip. He hummed in your mouth, and the sound of him so close made your belly pool with heat and your kisses bolder, sending your tongue deeper into his mouth until he was almost vibrating with the sensation of you exploring something as forbidden as his human body. He mirrored you as best he could, rolling the smooth muscle over your lips and the edges of your teeth until you were both lost in each other’s taste. He pushed his forehead against yours, pulling his mouth away with frantic breaths that spread fire over your skin. “Everywhere?”

You pushed your lips against his again, giving him an ambitions ‘Mmhmm’ as an answer. His growl made the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you realized where his goal was. He kissed and nipped his way down your throat, letting his tongue glide over your skin. He made his way to your breast, taking its’ tender tip between his teeth and making you gasp. He sucked at it gently, rolling his tongue around it while it grew harder for his efforts. The hand not under you groped at your free breast so it wouldn’t be ignored.

"Beep!”

An urgent chime echoed in the tiny space, the hyperdrive indicator was flashing its countdown warning: 10 minutes remain.

The Mandalorian’s growl on your breast made your blood turn to ice and your core flush with heat at the same time. He wanted to devour you, taste every single inch of your exposed skin, but time was not on your side; and he became a man on a mission to prove himself worthy of you. Bristles dragged over your skin as he slid down your belly until he hit the edge of your pants. They were yanked off so fast you briefly worried about the krayt teeth that were still in their pockets, but you didn’t have long to think before Mando was poised over the apex of your thighs, kissing at each leg to make his intentions known. Those must be some good holo-vids you’re watching, tinman. You let him push your legs apart with his chin, receiving a soft kiss on each one once they were far enough apart for him to stuff his face in between.

Your back arched, hard, followed by the most ragged moan you‘d ever heard escape your throat. The grip on your thighs kept you in place as he lapped at your clit, sucking and teasing in an experimental way. His inexperience didn’t seem to matter, his hunger for you fueling his efforts and making you squirm in delight. Your hands sought desperately for something to grab onto to keep yourself grounded, finding his lovely curls to bury your fingers in deep. It was all you could do to hold on for dear life, tangling in his hair and struggling to breathe as he worked you into a frenzy.

The noises coming from below your waist were heavenly, wet and greedy in between his hums of contentment. It took you a while to realize they weren’t hums at all, but alien words of worship being prayed at your sinful altar; but the blood pounding in your ears and the gasps from your throat were too loud for you to hear his devotion.

“Beep beep!”  Five minutes remain. Fuck.

The Mandalorian’s efforts doubled, running his tongue almost too quickly in his attempt to eat you alive. You let your hips grind into his mouth, begging him to bring you your release, and it wasn’t long before he succeeded. Stars flashed behind your eyes as you came into his hot open mouth, but he refused to leave until he had drank his fill of you. Eventually he pulled his face away from your spent heat with agonizing slowness, as if he would rather drown than address the impending drop from hyperspace. He kissed at your shaky thighs, your soft belly, and each breast before pressing his lips into your panting mouth, pushing the taste of you onto your own tongue. His breath was ragged, and you could feel the sweat of his brow where it was pushed against your face. 

He lifted away from you, and the weight of the handmade mask was draped over your face, making you groan with the displeasure of your passion being cut short. However, once it was in place, it was almost immediately pushed under by strong fingers to lift its edge, and you were given one last kiss to swear his promise of return to you.

“Din. My name is Din.”

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[awkwardgtace]

Mira's Fall

TW bad writing about injuries and some blood mention. idk anything else as usual lemme know if I should add any.

Mira's Fall

Mira was watching Corus from the vent above his desk. She was still weary about trusting the human and would frequently observe how he acted when she wasn’t obviously nearby. He’d continued to change behavior, almost no outbursts in the time since she agreed to interact with him. She was impressed, but she didn’t want to trust him yet. She was still nervous if his hands came too close, memories of those times in the walls fresh. He was far too interested in holding her too, always offering to carry her if they were talking and he had to leave the room. He had improved, but she wouldn’t put her life in his hands.

He left the room and she made to climb down. She wanted to talk to him about the garden in the back, there was damage that she couldn’t take care of. The damage was sadly making the plants not grow back, so she wanted to see if he could fix it. He wanted to help so she’d make use of it at least. Hanging her hook carefully from the vent grate she started to climb down. She’d been making more trips down from here; she never considered the strain it may be putting on her rope. She heard a snap and stared up, just out of reach the rope had started to split. She started to rush down only for her to hear the snap again entering a free fall.

She let out a short scream as she fell. She was more relieved than before that Corus chose to move his desk directly under the vent in case this ever happened. She landed hard on the desk surface, hitting her head and feeling her leg bend strangely. Everything went black.

Slowly Mira started to wake back up. She could barely tell where she was, it wasn’t the forest and she shouldn’t be in any human buildings. She had to get home before someone noticed she was missing. She tried to move her leg, pain shooting through her causing a shriek.

She felt human footsteps and panic gripped her. She was hurt, this could and probably would end badly. She tried to move her leg again causing sharp pain to shoot up her spine and spots in her vision. She quickly switched to crawling, trying her best to get to a hiding spot until she could find a way out. Her vision was blurry, she had no clue what happened before she woke up. She just needed to hide, sleep until her eyes cleared up and she could do something.

“Oh my god,” the human said. She kept trying to crawl away, moving away from the booming voice. The human rushed at her and she froze waiting for the hand to grab her. The voice sounded familiar, but that didn’t make sense. After a few seconds of not being touched she opened her eyes, fearfully staring at the human now looming over her. Their hands were held out, but hadn’t reached her yet.

“D-don’t touch me,” she choked out. She was in so much pain, this human would only make things worse. She needed to get away before they let their curiosity win.

“Mira, how can I help? Where are you hurt?” the human asked. The human shouldn’t know her name. She tried to remember why this human would know her, but the pain in her head only got worse. She felt tears fall from her eyes as the worst possibilities ran through her mind. Things weren’t making sense; she just wanted to go home where someone could help fix her up.

“Stay b-back. I-I’ll curse you,” her voice sounded weak. She couldn’t believe her own words; there's no way the human would. They must have caught her, that had to be how they knew her name. She didn’t want to think about what it meant with how injured she was. She heard the human sigh, her blood running cold.

“Mira, it’s me, it’s Corus,” the human sounded sad. “You know I'm not going to hurt you, just tell me what happened. I’m guessing you fell, do you know how far?”

She tried to understand what the human was asking. They said a name, Corus, but that didn’t sound familiar. She just wanted to go home. She needed to treat her leg and her head. Slowly moving her hand, she reached behind her head, pulling it away and in front of her. Blood, she was hoping that wouldn’t be what she found. She needed to get away from the human, there had to be others nearby who could get her out. She still couldn’t see clearly, but it didn’t stop her from noticing the head looming over her coming closer. She started to curl in on herself before pain gripped her again.

“Oh man, your head,” he breathed. “Oh no... Your head. Mira, what do you remember?”

She wouldn’t answer his questions. She told them to stay away, that was enough. If she didn’t answer and just focused on herself they might go away. She barely managed to sit up before she heard a muted gasp above her. She couldn’t focus on that now, her head was bleeding, but that was easy to handle, her leg was the big issue. It hurt to move it, looking at it now it was probably broken. If she didn’t set it then the others would have more trouble trying to get her out of here. She didn’t have her bag though, which was weird. She always had her bag of medical supplies on hand during training. Maybe she snuck out again, yeah that had to be it.

“All right, I’m going to go get the first aid kit, please try not to move too much,” the human said. They ran off quickly and she promptly ignored their request. She had to get somewhere safe until help came. She’d pulled herself a little closer to something that could hide her when the footsteps approached again. Fear gripped at her, would the human be mad she didn’t listen? She pushed that aside and focused on trying to hide still. She couldn’t let fear control her. She was supposed to be the best of her crew and she could deal with this. The human didn’t pause as they entered the room, she didn’t either.

“At least you didn’t jump off the table,” they said with a hint of humor in their voice. That made her stop. Of course she didn’t she wasn’t stupid. That would be a last resort, and only when her leg could handle it. They placed a huge box on the table she was on. They started pulling out a lot of things, some she recognized. The bandages would be useful, so would some of the tubes at least if she was right, her vision still wasn’t great. After they laid everything out they picked up some of the bandages and started unrolling them. They handed her the edge they unrolled. She just stared at it unsure how to use something so big.

“That’s what was missing,” they murmured. She watched the human look around settling on something above them. She held back a scream when they climbed up on something, a chair probably, to reach what they’d seen. She couldn’t tell what they were doing, but didn’t like seeing the already huge human even taller. They were off the chair quickly, the steps down vibrating through her even on this table. They held their hand out to her with something shiny on it. She looked up at them then slowly reached out. She couldn’t explain the need she felt to have whatever they held.

Once her hand was on it she pulled it close. She started to investigate it, was it the fish hook her mom brought her dad once? She wouldn’t take this, why was this here? She had to be wrong; it was just a hook that looked and felt similar. She looked at the human who held the bandage out to her again, still confused. She poked an edge on the hook, what must be her hook, and pulled away sticking her finger in her mouth. This would be sharp enough to cut the bandages. Maybe her dad had sharpened it for her outing? She pushed the questions aside and quickly got to work getting some reasonably sized bandages.

She barely noticed when the human let go of the bandages to start placing other things near her. One of the tubes which had to be the stuff for cuts, it was hard to get usually. They also put some wooden sticks near her, why were those in the box? He also brought some wet towels, leaving them close enough she could move an edge to clean her head easily. She was told humans weren’t kind. Why was this one so kind? She shouldn’t dwell on that, while they were kind she had to treat her injuries. She reached for a wet towel once she thought there were enough bandages and tried to clean her head. It wasn’t going well, unable to see the wound.

“Do you want some help?” they asked. She just froze. They gave her things for her injuries, but she didn’t want to be touched by them. She tried to shake her head, but the pain made her nauseous. “I don’t need to touch you, promise. Wait one second, if it doesn’t help, don't worry about it.”

The human left again quickly. She stared after them. She was told to be wary, not trust any human who offered kindness. They had stories of her kind and a lot created bad situations for the humans. This one wasn’t touching her and was giving her things to treat her wounds. She still wasn’t sure how she got them though. It didn’t seem like the human did it, but maybe they did drop her and cause it. She pushed that away, she wasn’t insane enough to let a human hold her. The human came back into the room holding a mirror, that wouldn’t really help her see the back of her head. They placed the mirror behind her carefully, far enough she wouldn’t touch it by accident.

“All right, we put this up behind you and...” they trailed off. They held a rectangle in front of her. After a second it lit up showing her sitting there with the reflection of her back shown too. Her vision was still sort of blurry, but she could manage. She was struggling to focus, seeing a reflection that seemed off. She didn’t look like what she expected, she looked older, thinner, just not like herself. Slowly she moved a hand watching as the person she saw mimicked the movement.

“That’s not me,” she said. She didn’t realize she spoke until she heard the human sigh above her. They put the rectangle down and moved so their face was even with her.

“I’m not sure what you remember,” their voice was quiet, almost calming. “That is you, I’m sure things don’t make a lot of sense right now, but we need to treat your head and leg. I’ll tell you everything I know after that. I don’t want to leave you alone here, but I’ll stay as far as possible once this is all taken care of all right?”

She gave a small nod and the human moved to hold the rectangle again. She still couldn’t connect with the person copying her movements, but she believed the human. This is her, so what on earth did she forget? She carefully used the wet towel to clean off the blood, the red standing out against the lavender. It was longer than she remembered, making cleaning the blood off a bit harder than she expected. Once it seemed clear of blood she reached a hand into the tube they’d placed nearby and put some of the goop on the wound as best she could. Carefully she wrapped the bandages around her head making sure to leave her eyes clear. Her hair wound up wrapped a little as she went around, but it wasn’t in the wound which was good enough.

Once she was satisfied she looked at her leg. This would hurt to move and she might pass out. The human would have free reign to do anything. She swallowed thickly before making her choice. She couldn’t stop the human awake or passed out, so she would just set her leg quickly and not care. She’d been taught to set broken bones before she was even allowed to leave the community; this was nothing new. She started to prepare herself, taking a deep breath and keeping her tongue from her teeth. She grabbed her leg and quickly snapped it back to a normal position. The pain was worse than she expected though a shriek leaving her as her vision went white.

“...-a…-ra..Mira!” a voice boomed around her. It was so loud, why was it so loud? She opened her eyes slowly, seeing the ceiling above her. She sat up with a groan. “Thank goodness you’re all right. You know we could have numbed your leg first right?!”

She looked at the voice and her memory caught up. The human was helping her, she didn’t look like she remembered, and she was hurt pretty badly. She chose to ignore the human again, reaching for one of the wooden sticks he’d put near her. It was a little out of reach, she flinched when they pushed them closer. She realized her vision had cleared up. She steeled herself to look at the human. Looking up she got a clear look at their face for the first time. The only thing she saw was concern, which made her willing to take a chance.

“C-can you hold this by my leg while I wrap it?” she asked. It took all her courage to look at them again. They had a warm smile, it made her feel safe. Why would a human’s smile make her feel safe? They nodded at her, then slowly brought their hand next to her. They held the stick straight and close to her leg, but didn’t do anything else. She tried to ignore the anxiety of their hand so close, as she wrapped her leg. Slowly she lost herself in the process. Thankfully it didn’t take long before their hand was pulled away and her leg was stabilized. Now she had to figure out a way to get home, but that was easier said than done.

The human started to put all the things back in the box. She still couldn’t understand why they were acting like this. She was confused and tired and her head was just pulsing in pain now. She shouldn’t sleep here, she knew that, but she couldn’t move much at least not for a while. Once the human left the room she gave in, laying back and closing her eyes. She didn’t notice when, but the human put some cloth behind her. It made things a lot more comfortable. She fell into a heavy sleep quickly, her body finally hitting empty after everything.

Corus was currently terrified. He had no idea how to properly take care of Mira, let alone how to convince her she was safe. She couldn’t even recognize herself. She seemed more vulnerable right now, too. He let out a heavy sigh, going to get some water and food to leave with her. She couldn’t keep going with what seems like a large portion of her life missing. He left the kitchen making his steps heavier, expecting her to be trying to hide or staring at him in fear. Instead she was asleep. He approached as quietly as he could, placing what he brought near her. He should leave, but he didn’t want to abandon her on his desk. He sat in his chair and placed his head on his arms, just waiting. He’d help as best he could, she didn’t trust him before this anyway.

Mira’s next few days were a blur. Every time she woke up the human was there, but they were still kind. She would drink some water and eat, but sleep would quickly take her again. She couldn’t make herself stay awake, although she tried to. It seemed like things would stay like this until she was healed. Then she’d finally find out what the human had planned for her. The human just always seemed kind of sad when she did wake up.

The first day she woke up, really woke up, things felt different. Corus had left a mirror on her desk. She looked in it and was surprised to see her head wrapped with bandages. She must have been out for a while after she fell. Corus must have helped her when he found her. She didn’t love the idea of him handling her while she was out, but she was grateful. If it had been left alone she’d have a much worse recovery time.

“Mira, are you awake?” Corus asked, quietly knocking on the door. He didn’t wait for a reply, opening the door slowly. She saw his face light up when he noticed her sitting up, he must have been worried. He flashed a warm smile. “Good morning, just have to grab some stuff then I’ll be out of your hair for most of the day.”

“It’s your room, you should just stay in here, I can probably make my way home at this point,” she said. Her voice cracked like she hadn’t spoken in days, but she couldn’t have been out that long. Shock quickly took over his features. He was on his knees in front of her faster than she could react. Humans had more speed than they used and she didn’t like that. He looked like he was about to cry, it shouldn’t be that shocking she said she’d go home. Resting for a day should get her enough strength to get back.

“Mira, you remember me?” his voice was almost too quiet for her.

“I doubt I could forget the human who basically begged me to give him a chance,” she couldn’t help the bit of snark. It wasn’t like she could just forget a human she’d agreed to give a chance. Why would Corus ask if she remembered him?

“How’s your head? Your leg? Do you really remember? It’s ok not to know me, you can leave when you feel up to it. Do you feel up to changing the bandages? Do you want to go somewhere--”

“Corus, I’ll be fine. I’ve broken my leg before. I should be fine to head back at this point.” She cut off his rambling. She appreciated the concern, but it wasn’t like this was the first time she got hurt.

Corus laid his head on the table, a relieved laugh leaving him. Slowly he explained the last few days, the things she didn’t remember. Threatening to curse him, looking terrified every time he entered the room. She treated him like a monster while he just tried to help her. She felt guilt well up inside her, this all happened because she’d been coming to get help. She opened her mouth to try and apologize, when he lifted his head. He looked so relieved, she didn’t know how to act.

“I’m really glad you remembered,” he said. She didn’t really understand, it would have been better if she forgot about him. Then he could have made her trust him without the background of his outbursts. She wouldn’t consider him violent anymore. He was happier that she still knew. Maybe he was different than she’d seen.

“A-actually, could I stay here until my leg heals more?” she asked. His eyes went wide and she regretted asking. That was stupid, she was stupid, she shouldn’t stay like this. She was ready to back track immediately.

“Honestly I was going to ask you to,” he said looking away. “Before you get upset, I know you can take care of yourself, but that was a pretty bad fall. I’d like to make sure you don’t have to make any injury worse. Are you all right if I work at this computer while you’re recovering?”

“Yeah, um, thank you,” she said. He gave her another large smile then moved to his desk chair rather than the ground. She considered this human with a violent streak who was terrified she’d hurt herself. He seemed to really care, maybe, just maybe, it was safe to trust him. She carefully laid back down, hearing him right next to her was shockingly calming. She had to be honest with herself at this point. She not only trusted this human, but believed he would keep her safe. She could maybe spend some more time with him.

[stevesharrlngtons]

“I was hoping for a little sympathy, maybe.” with Roman please :)

sorry for the delay )): and sorry if this kinda sucks!!

You knew his moping was justified. That his pain was warranted and expected. Having your DNA picked apart and ripped from your body was no doubt excruciating and exhausting. You just wished there was something you or anyone could do to alleviate some of the agony he was in. You were doing your best, but you still felt like you were lacking at this problem that was far out of your element.

Roman was never one to keep his grievances to himself, or to let anyone live in peace while he was uncomfortable. But ever since Pryce’s procedures began to rid him of his upirism, Roman had been a nightmare. He was angry and whining and tired and brittle and sad and needy. He wanted you attached to his side until his skin felt like it was rippling around on his bones, in which case he wouldn’t let you in the same room as him, as to not feel more claustrophobic than he already felt. 

On the days that Roman would go under Pryce’s needles for another treatments, you would spend the entire morning ordering Anna and Conway around to make sure there wasn’t anything that could possibly make Roman uncomfortable or irate. You were a dictator, barking orders and anxiously pacing while you waited for a call from The Tower informing you it was time to retrieve Roman. 

After his first treatment, Roman had driven himself home and almost wrapped his Jaguar around a tree. He had left the keys in the ignition and the door wide open before he mindlessly walked to the house in a daze. You had thrown enough of a fit when he was finally home safe that Roman agreed to let you drive him after he had finished with a new treatment. 

After you had him safely packaged in your car, Roman would usually sleep the entire way home, his cheek pressed against the cool window as you darted your eyes between him and the road. Terrified that if you didn’t look over to him every few moments, his breath would stop fogging the glass or his thin pale skin would split and crumble from the abuse it had taken. 

Two days ago you had finished your new macabre routine of readying the house for Roman’s return and driving him home in a worried stupor. You had put him to bed under satin sheets and mink blankets and a large glass of water and saltines on the nightstand. You had monitored him and stroked his sweat matted hair as he trembled and cried. You had snuggled close to him and kissed his frail skin and spoon fed him soup until his body collapsed from trauma and exhaustion. 

Now, 48 hours later, Roman was almost back to his old self. He still complained and griped and swore and was mostly unpleasant to everyone except you, but that was on par for normal Roman behavior. What wasn’t normal Roman behavior was to be out of bed on a Saturday before eleven A.M., which was why you felt a pang of worry when you rolled over and were greeted by a flurry of cold covers instead of the warm weight of your boyfriend. 

You sprang up from the pillows and searched for your phone to check the time, and sure enough, it was just after nine. Anxiety filled your gut as you pushed away your blankets in search for Roman. Sure, he had seemed to have recovered from the latest treatment as he usually did, but your mind couldn’t stop spinning with what if’s.

What if he had been hiding symptoms from you? What if he woke up this morning, and felt fatally wrong? What if he was slowly taking his dying breaths somewhere in the house while you slept soundly? What if? What if? What if?

You called his name, went from room to room in search of him, when you suddenly heard his voice coming from downstairs. 

You gripped the handrail tightly as you went down the staircase in search of him. You found him sitting in an armchair in the living room, a cloth pressed to one ear and his cell pressed to the other. His back is to you and you can see how rigid his shoulders are through the thin cotton of his shirt. 

“Roman,” You say, trying to gain his attention. 

He turns to you for a moment and unwraps one finger from his hold on his phone to wave at you, telling you to wait. 

“What happened? Who are you talking to?” You continue, blatantly ignoring his previous gesture. 

You walk closer to him as Roman once again holds up his finger for you. 

“Put me on fucking hold one more time Pyrce and I swear to God, you’ll regret it!” He barks.

You round the chair to stand in front of him. You can now see the prominent dark circles that haloed his eyes and his colorless lips and cheeks. He was alive, but clearly not well. 

Your heart broke as a small tut came from your lips. You sink to the floor in front of the arm chair and take to giving his calves and thighs a lazy massage. 

“No, you fucking listen to me -- no, I shouldn’t have to! You’re the doctor here. Fucking fix me!” Roman shouts into the receiver and you press a chaste kiss to his pajama covered knee. 

From your position on the floor, you watch as Roman listens to something Pryce says and scoffs loudly, “Green oozing goo is normal? Because it sure as shit doesn’t feel normal! -- I don’t care if this has never been done before, find a way to stop the weird puss and bile that is coming out of me.” 

And he hangs up. Roman gives a heady sigh as he tosses his phone onto the couch and collapses deeper into the chair. You glance up at the cloth that is still pressed against Roman’s ear and cringe as you see it is tinged with light green wetness. 

You continue your massage up his thighs until you settle your hands on either side of his hips and rest your chin on his lap, “What’s going on, baby?” 

“Just in fucking pain while gross green liquid comes out of me. Nothin’ new, apparently.” He says, sarcastic and dejected. 

“And there’s nothing Pryce can do?” You ask, but you are pretty sure you already know the answer. 

“Nope. The bastard keeps telling me it’s normal and there is nothing he can do...fucker.” 

You hold back a chuckle and kiss his belly instead, “At least it seems like it’s working, right? That’s a positive?”

“I guess, just, fuck! I hate this, I hate the treatments and Pryce. I don’t know why I called him in the first place,” Roman replies, moving his free hand to fiddle with the ends of your hair. 

“It’s good you called, I’m glad you did. I want you to call your doctor when you think something is wrong.” 

Roman’s face screws up in disgust, “Don’t call him my doctor, it makes our relationship sound far more amicable and intimate than it is.” 

“Fine. Your mad scientist? The Dr. Frankenstein to your monster?” You joke and Roman glares down at you. 

“I’m not in the mood for jokes.” Roman tugs a little at a strand of your hair he was busying himself playing with. 

“What are you in the mood for, then?” 

“I don’t know, I was hoping for a little sympathy, maybe. If not from Pyrce, then from you.” He grumbles petulantly. 

“Hey, I am an outpouring sympathy machine for you, baby. I know this process is weird and tough and painful, all I want to do is help. So, tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” You thumbs sneak beneath his sleep shirt to find his hip bones to gently stroke. 

“I don’t know what I want,” Roman pouts, his voice a borderline whine. 

“Want some options?” You ask, perking up slightly from his lap.

He just nods. The treatments were incredibly draining for Roman, both physically and emotionally. While his body physically recovered within a few days, the emotional wounds would linger and refuse to blister for upwards of a week. So, during the period following his procedure, he needed all the emotional support he could garner from you. That included letting him scream and vent to you, or sob and shake in your embrace, or just have you decide exactly what he wanted because his brain just couldn’t surmise what he truly wanted. 

“A: We go back to bed and just watch TV for a while. B: We stay down here and order some breakfast from that diner on 3rd. C: I call Troy and see if he has an Vicodin to help with your pain.” 

Roman mulls over your list of multiple choice before he speaks, “Can I choose that we go back upstairs, order breakfast from the diner on 3rd and I call Troy about Vicodin and pot for us?” 

You grin up at him, “Ah, yes. Secret option D, that sounds good.” 

Roman gives you a soft smile before you push up from the ground.

“Let’s get back to bed, handsome.” You wiggle your outstretched fingers for him to take, which he does easily. 

You pull him up from the chair and Roman moves to wrap his arm around your shoulders, your fingers still clasped together. He presses a long kiss to the crown of your head, one that takes several moments to complete, one where he inhales your scent and relishes in your feeling, one where he whispers I love you. 

With his lips against your hair, you felt a rush of contentment knowing that even your small gestures could work to make this strange time for Roman a little better. That’s all you really wanted, even if you knew you couldn’t find the magic saulve to fix everything. Maybe you would one day, but for now, snuggles, pancakes and painkillers would have to do.

“I love you, too.” You reply as you help your ailing love up the stairs to start your relaxed day. 

does this even make sense??? i don’t know!! i just wanted to write and post this request bc i felt bad that i had let it sit so long lol sorry if it seems scattered or weird??????? but idk, if you did like it, i’d love to hear from you <3 (:

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[intersexfairy]

Hey I hope this is okay to send but idk where else to go tbh.

So I'm trans and I went to the endocrinologist cause I needed my hormone levels and all that before could go on testosterone and today I get a letter that I have to come back in for further testing cause I might have late onset? non classic? (not sure which one is the right therm but that) CAH and I honestly don't know how to feel.

Like I don't want to jump in head through door first and say I have it cause I don't actually but it would just kinda? Explain a lot looking back on my childhood and stuff? So I've been kinda been going a bit stir crazy sitting in my emotions all day, because on one side it feels like a huge deal to me emotionally but at the same time I feel like it shouldn't matter to me that much at all because at the end I still look afab. The bit of masculine development I had could also just be chalked up to almost a lack of development than anything else tbh. Was still enough to feel different and ostracised from other kids but it doesn't feel enough to me at the same time?

So I don't rlly know what to do with this now. I don't even know it that would "count" as intersex tbh. Not in a dictating experiences way but more in a like "i have trouble with drawing distinctions and don't want to take up places I shouldn't" way?

Idk I've just been having a lot of feelings and gender feelings in general about this and I don't feel very good about a lot of them. Idk what I even really want to achieve with this. I guess I just don't know where to fit if I do have it and I'm scared? I don't know.

I'm sorry if this was rude to send, please feel free to ignore me if it was I just. idk I know no one who really knows about this otherwise. Yeah, just, didn't mean to offend if I did, I'm sorry.

No need to apologize! Your feelings surrounding this are valid. Discovering you may be intersex is a confusing time for a lot of people. I understand your worry about feeling like you might be intruding. And i dont know you, but I dont see much here that would make me say you would be intruding.

If they're suspecting a form of CAH based on regular hormone tests, they likely either had that suspicion set off by your testosterone/estrogen levels or chemicals involed in an ACTH stimulation test. If it's the latter, I'd say it's probably more likely than not that you have a form of CAH (but obviously take that with a grain of salt and wait for your testing to be done).

Regardless of the results, if you feel like the intersex label fits you and your experiences (which, from what you said here it seems so, but that's for you to decide ultimately) and want to ID as intersex, I for one welcome you to our community!

It doesnt matter if you still look afab or whatever. Intersex people look all kinds of ways! We can pass as dyadic and it doesn't make us less intersex than those who only sometimes pass, or never pass. And there's also a variety of ways others mark us as different, which don't have to involve directly calling us intersex at all.

What you described about how you were bullied, that's what happened to me too. For me, it was that kind of bullying where you know you're different, your peers know you're different, everyone knows you're different... And they look at you like you're an it/thing, laugh when you try to be like them or enjoy your appearance, etc.

If you were ostracized and felt different from other kids, that's enough. If you don't have a typical development, that's enough. If you feel different from people who are doubtlessly dyadic, that's enough. If you would find empowerment in intersex identity, that's enough.

You don't need medical approval to ID as intersex. Saying so would be counterproductive to intersex rights, since the pathologization of people who dont fit the norm is what leads to us being othered and oppressed.

I know it's a lot to hear, both from me and your care providers, and I want you to know you can take your time with this too. If you get the results back and have a form of CAH, you don't need to rush and immediately call yourself intersex and start figuring out what you think and how you feel. The same goes for literally any other way this plays out.

It can be an overwhelming time and my best advice is to try to simply accept your emotions by acknowledging they're there and telling yourself they're valid. You don't need to have everything figured out now, tomorrow, next month, or any amount of time.

That said if you want to talk about it, I'm all ears for an update on how testing goes. Or if you want to vent, ask questions, etc. before then feel free to do that too!

[zoppzoop]

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

15. personality description

28. i’ll love you if…

31. 3 random facts

53. 5 things that make me happy

hi babe <3333

6. romantically? probably not. ive never actually fallen for someone that emotionally deeply for it to be even mildly difficult to get over it. but like platonically? as in if a friend just backstabbed or straight up was shit to me after calling them my best friend? let me just say i still very very slightly have a grudge on my 2nd grade best friend. i take my friendships very seriously (skip the rest of this coz its too long and honestly idk why i even typed it out lmfao its honestly just turned into a weird vent skjdfljkg)

(i definitely dont hate the 2nd grade kid more than this one bitch in my old neighborhood who literally got into a best friend trio thing between me and my friend and turned her against me and then also sabotaged my friendship with another friend and yeah things were shit for a few months and then her dad got transferred to another place and i thought it was a good thing but then the day she left i went back home after playing in the park with the rest of the kids and my parents give me the news that we're moving to the same place as they did because my dad got promoted there too and then she managed to make my life shit again for the three years she was there (and her sister helped her like the zero braincell dipshits they both were)(also teh fucker told my other friend who i was really close with and went to school with that my home situation is bad??? like hoe first of all what the fuck. second of all what the fuck third of all what the actual fuck and fourth of all my parents are actually really nice and kind people and actually care about me so again, what the fuck?????????? (also her mom had a thing against mine so im damn sure that had to root from there so yeah fuck you too auntie) and after that got cleared out the bitches literally blackmailed the rest of our common friends to team up and bully me and that was another ordeal for a while. and bullshit like this continued until her dad got transferred again. but by that time i was at a point where i couldnt really go out at all because i had to study and wow thats a long story but i dont wanna really backspace on that so yeah sorry for rambling and going off topic and for the negativity but i hate those two two-faced fucked up bitches a lot lmao)

15. i guess i'd say im chill with my opinions on most things so i dont get into arguments much. also i've got a very (uhh whatever the opposite of confrontational is) kinda personality. also my stance on things is out of sight out of mind so if i want to avoid sth i can and will ignore it. i like talking to new people and also friends but im literally not the most talkative person. when i say i like talking i mean i like listening to people go on about whatever's on their head and occasionally when i feel up to it i just thought dump (like we saw in the last question sdkjlf) or i just straight up vanish like a ghost (which is bad nasdfkljs) also with certain people i get very very chaotic. i once challenged my friends on chugging multiple glasses of coca cola at a party so yeah- ooh also i get emotional (on all emotions) very easily. also im the kind of person who wants to know peoples secrets and all that stuff coz i just like knowing things but i never do anything with it except forget it in a couple of days.

uuhh idk what else to say about my personality lmao i think thats it but if theres sth specific you'd like to know feel free to ask me!

28. i'll love you if literally anything. if know you and we're close enough i'll literally just pour over my love and support to you. i've got a lot of it to give (even though i ghost people sometimes it doesnt mean i dont care about them. i still love them)

31. 1. me and grudges is a bad idea because i never think about it much or show it but it stays there and keeps festering forever and i dont really know how i'll act if the patience meter tips over sdjfsk

2. my dad had got a switchblade thing a while back when he was out on a trip and i stabbed my teddy bear with it and uhhh yeah im pretty sure teddy hates me now but then i also stitched him back up but no that i think about it, practicing knife throwing on your teddy is not a good idea-

3. i used to be a soft-violent kid back in the day (like middle school/junior high) because at first glance you'd think im the ideal student/kid but my classmates knew that i would literally not hesitate to punch a bitch if that situation came up at school or at least in my class. i mean a teacher who came in for substitution legit presented me to the class like 'look at her. she's such nice and smart and helpful kid' and my class was like 'lmao who? her??' but yeah teachers and seniors liked me. i was a nice kid too! just some people got on my nerves and got what they were asking for <3 now im just a wallflower. i doubt anyone outside my friend group even knows my name here lmao we're chaning that in college though! i wanna be a good person to everyone!!!

53. 1. drawing

2. good food (and subsequently cooking)

3. good entertainment (currently anime, music and fanfics)

4. talking listening to people

5. relaxing without the impending doom of some or the other deadline/exam

Hi babe <3333 sorry for making this so long lfjkgs ily <33333333

send me some nice asks!! O(∩_∩)O

[dilftaroooo]

Venting(?

I feel like I’m slowly losing my friend, ever since the friend we have in common came back I’ve been put aside and I’m the third wheel now 🧍🏻‍♀️

My friend and I have known each other since we were eight and I feel bad about it because I only have her and my girlfriend, and now she isn’t answering any of my messages, she barely talks to me or sometimes leaves me on read, or she is online and just ignores me. And now Idk what to do, this has happened before :( and Idk why I feel so bad if most of the time she talks to me if she has a problem and then thanks me for my help and proceeds to ignore me for the rest of the day.

That being said, drink water and have a good day 🙏🏻

-Getou anon

i used the readmore marker bc this is kinda long

*sigh* being ignored by a longtime friend is the worst thing ever :/ i’ve had these two childhood friends; one in particular i knew since elementary school but we didn’t talk much during the time. it wasn’t until middle school where we had the same classes together is when we got to know each other more.

we were literally inseparable; we did everything as long as we were by each other’s side. she spoke and i listened and we had a plentiful amount of happy times with one another but i guess that all just went downhill once we got to high school.

freshmen year was alright, we still socialized. whenever i saw her in the hallway i’d come up to her and we’d talk about anything and we’d holler and laugh like we always did in middle school. nothing changed much until sophomore year. we had one class together and i remember seeing her and saying hi but she lacked excitement when she saw me. her “hey” was just...dry. and i noticed she had other friends in that class that she knew and bonded with more than me.

like, it felt like she completely forgot about me and that hurt. i never spoke about this because i just shrug it off my shoulders and move on but now that i sit here and think about it, it’s painful. it’s like we weren’t best friends at all and all those times we shared were just delusions.

all i can say is that if your friend isn’t trying to reinforce your friendship and is just willingly ignoring you, then that just shows how much she doesn’t care as much as she used to. by the looks of it, you’ve had your advances with her and tried to communicate but her responses are always less than what you do. she only comes to you when SHE needs help. friends like that aren’t ideal.

but anywaiiiz i haven’t really drank too much water bc i had soda since i was craving it but i’ll remember to drink it tomorrow, getoo 🥺 and stay safe, my love! <3