#thank you for the ask though!!!! <333 feel free to ask about anything at all times i love talking abt holidate bokris theyre to dear to me

[fruitybashir]

hey hello 👋🏻 i'm sorry im very shy but i'm a huge fan of the holidate and dopamin (closer) was so fantastic and super hot and i was blushing the entire way through, i've reread it maybe five times by now, i'm sorry if that's weird 🫣

if you don't mind me asking, i'm curious about something? in the holidate and in dopamin, there's obvious hints at some of their kinks or preferences in bed (hair pulling, praise....) and i'm just wondering......can you say more about what kinks they're both into? what you envisioned for them? is there more we don't know about yet? i'm a bit embarassed to ask but i'm so curious

either way, i'm a big fan and i can't wait to see what you post next and have a nice day/night bye bye 💌💕

omg hiiiii <3333 dont be embarassed omg i loveeee when people tell me they reread my stuff, thats how i know it actually was good!!! 🫶🏻💖💖💖

and sure i can talk about it! its nothing super exciting tbh but i do have a certain set of kinks/preferences/likes whatever you wanna call it for each of them, im gonna put it under the cut as per usual in case it gets long.

edit yeah this is getting super long. sorry. dont ask me to yap, i will not stop.

starting with kris:

the very obvious: hair pulling. i think that was made pretty clear lmao. in a non-sexual context he looooves having his hair played with, someone just running their fingers through his hair, lightly scratching at the scalp, playing with a strand or two, anything at all gives him very pleasant tingles and practically makes him putty in your hands. find that spot behind his ear like bojan did and his brain shuts off, you have now successfully tamed your kris, congrats.

in a sexual context that translates to him loving having his hair pulled, its a combination of him liking having his hair played with + liking a certain level of pain. and the combo of that really gets him off. obviously.

pain for kris is like. hes into some level of pain, like the hair pulling and he also likes biting sometimes. in dopamin thats bojan biting his butt, but i imagine sometimes when bojan takes his time exploring kris' body, he takes a bite here or there, kris' neck, the sides of his stomach, the inside of his thighs .. stuff like that and kris is also really into it then.

hes not into any bigger levels of pain other than that like he wouldnt like stuff like spanking etc although thats a combination of not liking that type of pain and not liking being in a submissive position

next point: he doesnt like being submissive. its both just a preference thing plus not liking loss of control. he loves being the one to order the other part around and be the one to kiiind of have the upper hand. im saying that a bit vaguely bc he also isnt really a dom, he wouldnt like a very strong dominant role, he just likes calling the shots and being in control of the situation. idk how to put it. ill come back to this later

hes freshly discovering that hes into feminization, as you can probably tell from that last upload lmao, and he likes it both in a non-sexual and in a sexual context. he likes feminine words of affection, being called pretty, likes thinking about how in certain perspectives and moments people might mistake him for a girl, and he could have shopped online for lingerie thats specifically made for men, and buy panties that actually had some space in the front, but he deliberately chose not to do that, he wanted it to be girls underwear. that was important.

holidate kris is definitely not fully cis, but also not really trans either i think, idk what to call it but yeah. he might be a little trans, hes having some thoughts and feelings and maybe ill let him explore that properly one day but basically he doesnt really know what to make of it yet or how to categorise it, but he knows he likes himself exactly the way he is and doesnt want to change anything. he also likes getting called girl-ish things and thinking about how people might mistake him for a girl sometimes. idk

other preferences uhhh he really likes sucking dick lmao, like he genuinely enjoys going down on bojan and it gets him all worked up as well. he just figured out he loves getting eaten out. he doesnt like bottoming and he also doesnt like getting fingered all that much. and the thing with that is that he likes having things in his ass, but he doesnt like the uhhh motion of it? having a dick in his ass is fine, having that dick thrust into him is a big no no. the lucky thing with bojan is that he has really short fingers so when hes fingering kris, hes focussing on kris's prostate and doesnt move around all that much so that is still something kris enjoys. on occasion. he also generally doesnt like coming more than once, bc he tends to be very sensitive after his first orgasm and the second one is often very overhelming and too much

moving on to bojan:

also fairly obvious: likes being manhandled, likes being told what to do, big on getting praised. he also loves servicing and making kris feel good, it genuinely gets him off when he can just worship kris a little.

bojan loves both receiving and giving oral but he really loves bottoming and coming on kris' fingers. he loves getting a little overstimulated like getting teased for a long time before getting any proper attention so by the time kris finally goes down on him or fucks him, bojan is already shaking with it and desperate. or in the way like in dopamin, literally not being able to fully calm down in between orgasms and still being super sensitive from the first one.

i think the praise thing is pretty self explanatory, he really loves getting praised for doing a good job when he follows kris' instructions, loves being called a good boy, loves when kris keeps telling him how good hes being in general, its a major thing for him

he loves getting fucked classic missionary or riding kris, they tried doggy once but he didnt like not being able to see kris and touch him. he loves watching kris' face when he comes and also before that, he just loves fucking face to face.

also he would love for kris to make real on his promise of fucking his tits, neither of them knows how that would work but bojan is heavily into the idea of it

as for both of them:

ive said it in dms earlier but basically like. theyre both still kind of vanilla with their kinks? like there is a dom/sub dynamic there but its a very mild one kinda.

like how in dopamin kris tells bojan hes gonna make him come on his fingers and then give him no break after, but later he still does give him a break and checks with bojan if hes still okay with it, if its too much etc. or how he keeps telling bojan to use his words, but always forgives him when bojan cant use his words or is too embarrassed to say what kris wants him to say. like theres never any real consequences.

and thats the thing with them: they are so in tune with each other and have a level of trust for each other that they never had with previous partners. bojan likes being bossed around but he wouldnt like if anyone was actually mean to him, hes not into humiliation or being actually punished for something.

kris knows when he says it that its all empty threats and he would never give bojan any real consequences, and bojan knows this as well, but he would also never intentionally misbehave bc he likes following commands.

they work so well together like that bc theyre both fully aware of what they and the other wants out of it, they know the others wishes and boundaries and limits etc, like there is just a level of trust and understanding between them like no other.

also theyre super in love. did i mention that. does that come across. thats not a kink thing but theyre just super mega in love and thats so important to me.

uhhhh i think thats basically all there is to them kink wise ✌🏼 sorry this got so long, oopsie

[loganhowlettsmybf]

hated desire

pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader

warnings: almost smut, swearing, fighting, knives, mention of blood

summary: you hate logan howlett. especially when you can see his, sweaty and naked muscular upper body while you two are training.

word count: 500+

a/n: aghh i’m literally shaking, i hope you like it🫶🏻 also everyone here is so sweet and supportive😭 so thank y’all for encouraging me

[english isn’t my first language, so sorry if there’s any mistakes but i still hope it’s enjoyable<333]

(also my requests are open, so feel free to ask one-shots that comes to your mind or just message me anything🫶🏻)

you hated him.

you hated his arrogant attitude, his ego. just because he has a body of a god and he knew it, that doesn’t mean he has to be an ass.

but the thing you hate the most about him is how wet he makes you, when you two are training together and he doesn’t wear a shirt so you can see all his detailed muscles.

like in the exact. same. moment.

you snapped back into the reality, daydreaming is for later, right now you have to kick his ass.

“ready to lose again, howlett?” you taunted, flipping a knife effortlessly between your fingers.

logan snorted, a smirk curling his lips. “you wish, sweetheart. let’s see if you can keep up.”

you lunged at him with a swift, well-practiced strike, but logan blocked it with his claws.

"you fight like a little girl," logan smirked, feinting a strike.

"it is so much better than fighting like an old man," you shot back, while one of your knife is grazing his side, a little blood dropping out of him. but that was just for a moment, he healed immediately.

oh how much you hated his healing ability too.

“fuck,” logan grunted, more annoyed, than hurt. He spun, catching your wrist and twisting it just enough to make you drop the knives. the closeness of your bodies sent a shiver down your spine. you could feel his breath on your neck, his muscular frame pressing against you.

“is that all you got?” logan growled, his voice low and husky. he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. “i thought you were tougher than this.”

in a swift motion, you freed yourself, your knives flashing as you launched another attack while logan blocked you effortlessly.

you pushed back, using your agility to twist away, but not before grazing his side with your blade.

“did I just cut you? again? ohh, you're getting sloppy,” you say while trying to steady your racing heart.

logan’s eyes darkened. he advanced with a ferocity that matched your own. in a swift, fluid motion, logan disarmed you, pinning you against the wall with his claws dangerously close to your throat, your faces inches apart.

"you think you can keep me against the wall?" you breathed.

logan's lips curling into a dangerous smile. "i think you like it when i do," he murmured, his face so close you could feel his breath. “you think i don’t know how wet you’re everytime you see me. just like right now. and how this position with my claws, against your throat turns you on,” he whispered in your ear.

you started to panic. you didn’t know what his next action will be. the tension between you was growing, and before you could even say something he was kissing you, hard and demanding. at first you were surprised, but you responded with equal fervor, you hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, his hands gripping your hips as he pressed you even harder against the wall.

your kiss deepened, becoming more urgent, more desperate. logan’s claws retracted, and he lifted you easily, your legs wrapping around his waist. you felt yourself melting against him. your hatred mixed with an undeniable hunger.

just as things were about to get out of control, logan pulled back, his breathing was heavy.

"this ain't the place," he growled, though his eyes were filled with the same desire that burned in you. he brushed his thumb across your swollen lips. “but don’t think even just for a minute, that this is over.”

[weneeya]

Hi hi! I hope you’re having a good day/night!!! I was wondering if I could get headcannons for either Kuroo, Oikawa, and Atsumu or JJK For Gojo, Nanami, and Inumaki where reader gets scary dog privilege?

Like I enjoy dressing in like really bright colors and mini-skirts and thigh highs with bright loud makeup but want scary dog privilege (like scary boyfriend who isn’t afraid to tell people off/ glare at people for looking at their s/o wrong or too long) to feel more comfortable walking around- feel free to ignore this if you don’t want/don’t feel comfortable doing this <333 anyways! Thank you <333

scary dog privilege w/ kuroo, oikawa, atsumu m.list | rules

note. hi!! ofc you can omg i love this idea sm <3 i've decided to do it with the hq boys, hope you don't mind :) please request more!

Kuroo Tetsuro

seems chill so people are not scared of him

he’s such a nice guy, he wouldn’t do anything, right? 

wrong, so wrong 

would always stand for you, no matter what 

go berserk to be sure you’ll dress how you like 

always surprising though 

princess treatment 

You were waiting for Tetsuro outside, because you wanted to do some shopping and he insisted on coming with you so he could spoil you all he wanted. You had this dress that you knew he loved so much, even if she was maybe a bit short. 

A group of students passed by, and you felt their eyes roaming over you while they were whispering. You felt a wave of unease but you tried to ignore them, looking away and waiting for your boyfriend. One of them was about to point at you, but all the noise suddenly stopped. 

Tetsuro was standing there, next to you, head slightly tilted to the side. He seemed calm, way too calm, and it was probably what made them panic. You wanted to say something, but he looked at you with the softest smile in the world, which made you stop. 

“You want me to take care of this?” He asked, glancing at them with a cold gaze which was contrasting so much with his smile. The group didn’t hesitate too long before leaving, eyes on the ground. And when Tetsuro looked back at you, it was like nothing happened. 

“Let’s go shopping!” He said, taking your hand to guide you to the first shop. You knew you were his top first priority, and you would probably never be thankful enough.

Oikawa Tooru

he’s not a huge fan of people looking at you in the first place ; you’re with him, not them

not really the scary type usually, but learned a lot from Iwaizumi during highschool 

not aggressive, always the fake sympathy 

a guy is looking at you for too long? he’ll put a huge smile on his lips, wrapping an arm around your shoulders 

will look at the guy with his fake smile but dark eyes the second you’re not looking anymore

doesn’t need to fight, he’s intimidating enough 

always protecting you from his fangirls 

won’t hesitate to glare at them coldly if they say anything about your looks

you’re the prettiest for him <3

You were waiting for your boyfriend, Oikawa Tooru, who had a match against another team today. As usual, you were wearing your bright and colorful clothes that you loved so much ; and you knew Tooru loved them just as much. You were waiting for him after the match, not so far from the cloakrooms. You were all smiling, until you heard girls laughing. 

You didn’t look at them, because you knew who they were. Tooru’s fangirls weren’t easy with you, but they were always careful enough to not get caught by the boy. You were about to say something, turning to look at them, when you felt an arm around your shoulders. 

When you looked up, you saw your boyfriend looking at girls with the darkest look you’ve ever seen in his eyes. He wasn’t amused, not at all ; and it made them stop in a second. He sighed slowly before leaving a kiss against your cheek. 

“You’re as pretty as always. Let’s go,” he told you, taking your hand in his before turning away. He glared at the fangirls one last time before completely ignoring them and the complaint they could try to give to him. You were lucky to have him, because you never felt safer than now.

Atsumu Miya

oh the boy knows how to fight 

anyone landing their eyes on you for a little too long and he’s throwing hands 

he’s not subtle, not at all ; you need to calm him down 

“what? ya want a picture, uh?” his accent is always going out more than usual when he’s angry

you’ll take his hand and they always left before he could do anything more 

leaving him with a pout ; he was so ready to get into a fight for you 

no one can say anything about you, not even him 

You were meeting Atsumu in town today. Apparently, he wanted to show you something that couldn’t wait even for a few days. You were waiting at your meeting spot, with your mini skirt and small top. You were feeling comfortable enough to wear this, until you felt this guy’s gaze on you. He wasn’t just looking at your outfit ; he was trying to see underneath and you knew it. 

“Hey! Need some help?” You heard a voice almost shouting from a few inches away, and you turned your head at the same time as the guy. You immediately recognize Atsumu with a frown over his face, walking faster suddenly. In a few seconds, he was in front of the stranger. 

He grabbed him by the collar, anger readable on his face. “Ya want something from my girl? Ya got a problem with her?” The guy couldn’t even answer, because Atsumu wasn’t giving him any chance to do so. You stepped closer, resting a hand on his arm. 

“Tsumu, please, it’s okay,” you told him, and he let go of the poor guy who almost immediately ran away. He followed him with his eyes to be sure he left, before clicking his tongue against his palate. He grabbed your hand in his, glancing around to be sure that no one was looking at you again. You felt way safer after that, and a slight smile appeared on your lips.

thank you!!

[supernovafics]

I know in the I’ll be there for you universe it’s been established that reader and Steve both have not great relationships with their parents - was wondering how Steve would comfort reader if she had a bad go of it with her dad or mom or both angst and comfort?? Maybe this is too self serving tho so feel absolutely so free to ignore 😭

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒

"i'll be there for you" universe masterlist

pairing: bestfriend!roommate!steve harrington x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k words

warnings: explicit language, brief(ish) mention of reader’s mom being shitty, a bit of angst/sadness but with a wholesome ending<3

summary: in which you’re upset and steve tries to cheer you up

author's note: thank you thank you for the request!! i went back to fall for this one because it just felt fitting. enjoy<333

general note: everything in this universe/series can be read as standalone oneshots but to understand the full “lore” it would prob be best to read the other stuff too<333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Fall 1985

There was something wrong, but Steve couldn’t tell what it was.

You’d been holed up in your room ever since he got home from his Family Video shift. 

At first, he thought it was something he had done, accidentally leaving Harold’s cage open or forgetting to put something away in the kitchen. But, you didn’t seem mad or upset with him; and he knew that if you were, you wouldn’t have shied away from saying something.

When he knocked on your door and asked what was wrong, he didn’t entirely believe your simple head shake and one word response of “Nothing,” but he decided not to press you further because he knew that you’d come to him whenever you were ready to talk about what was going on. But then hours went by and you didn’t say anything; you even passed up his offer to make a grilled cheese for you, which you usually never did. And that made him worried. 

The time was nearing ten and the only moment you had come out of your bedroom since he got home at six was to grab a quick snack from the kitchen. Maybe you were sad about another crush that had gone wrong or maybe it was something bigger. Steve had no idea, but he felt like he needed to do something for you.

He grabbed a random hoodie from his room and then went over to yours, knuckles tapping against your shut door a few times. When you let out a loud enough, “Yeah?”, he took that as his cue to go in. You were sitting at your desk, textbook and notebook opened up in front of you. 

Steve tossed the hoodie into your lap. “Come on, let’s go.” 

You looked up at him, confused. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise,” He said instead of actually answering your question.

Even though all you really wanted to do was continue wallowing in your room and keep half-focusing on an assignment that you couldn’t care less about, you decided not to protest his words and adamance.

You pulled his hoodie over your head and slipped on a pair of shoes before following him out of the apartment. 

The drive was quiet and you weren’t in the mood to fiddle with the radio, so it simply stayed on a station that seemed to play the same five “pop hits” on repeat. 

It wasn’t until the final few minutes of the ride that you realized where he was driving to. The roads and turns he made started looking way too familiar, and a small smile took over your face when he pulled into the Dairy Queen parking lot. The closest one was over thirty minutes away and Steve hated driving to it because of that, but you never minded it because even though its menu pretty much resembled the dessert menu of your and Steve’s beloved Third Street diner, there was something about this place that you loved too. 

You were always reminded of the summer when you finally got your license and you’d force Steve to come here with you most nights. You two would eat the ice cream in your car, or at one of the red tables that sat outside if it was warm enough; you loved those memories.

Steve put the car in park and then looked over at you. “I’ll grab everything. Do you want your usual?” 

Instead of answering his question, you inadvertently burst into tears. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked softly as he unbuckled his seat belt and reached over to hug you. It was an entirely awkward and uncomfortable position, but you still immediately leaned into him, arms circling around his neck and face burying into his shoulder. You didn’t mind the way the center console was harshly poking into your side, or the fact that your own still buckled seat belt was in the way. “I thought that coming here would definitely cheer you up. Did I completely misread everything?” 

All you could respond with right then was a barely audible “I’m sorry,” and then you sniffled and let out a breath that only made you cry harder. 

“No, I’m the one that should be saying sorry,” Steve said as he soothingly rubbed your back and the subtle action managed to calm you down a bit. 

You shook your head at his words before pulling out of the embrace and looking at him through blurry eyes. 

“Okay, please be a thousand percent honest with me right now,” You said, somehow finding your voice. You half-heartedly wiped away your tears with the sleeve of Steve’s hoodie. “Do you think I’m selfish?”

“What? No, of course not,” The certainty in his tone managed to wash away some of the shittyness you’d been feeling for the past few hours. “Why would you think that?”

You looked away from him then and slumped back against your seat. “I was on the phone with my mom earlier, maybe like an hour before you got home. She asked me to come to this work event for my dad on Friday night, like some sort of dumb party thing. I said that I can’t since I already told you that I’d go with you to take the kids to that new arcade a few towns over. And honestly, even if that wasn’t happening I’d still probably make up some excuse to not go because I hate going to those work parties. But, anyway, my mom called me selfish for saying no, and I know it’s stupid, it’s so stupid, to believe her, but there was a part of me that did. And still kinda does.” 

Usually, most of the things that your mom said to you went in one ear and then out the other, but for some reason, this comment managed to stick. You started overthinking things, feeling like the worst person ever because of something that wasn’t even true, but maybe it was? And you couldn’t stop thinking about that.   

Steve grabbed your hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You’re not. I promise.” 

You found yourself believing him and how sure he sounded. He was probably the only person you’d always believe entirely without question because he knew you better than anyone else. You suddenly felt stupid for thinking that your mom was right in the first place. 

“I’m sorry,” You mumbled and then met his gaze again. “This is all so dumb. I’m sorry that you only drove here because I’ve been acting like a sad idiot for the past few hours and you were trying to cheer me up.”

He shook his head and gave you a small smile. “What do you mean? I love coming here.”

You let out a breath of a laugh. “You don’t, but thanks for pretending.”

“Do you want me to get you something?”

You nodded and smiled at him. “The usual, please.”

“Okay,” He said before stepping out of the car.

Because of how late it was and since it was the middle of the week, there was no one in line aside from two teens and an older woman, so Steve was back in less than ten minutes with a simple vanilla cup with rainbow sprinkles for you and a cone for himself.

“Thank you,” You said as he also handed over the spoon and napkins that he had stuffed in the pocket of his jacket. 

“Remember those promises we would make when we were kids?” He asked and you were quick to nod, immediately knowing what he was referring to. 

You inwardly smiled as you thought about the slightly elaborate “running away” plans you two made when you were twelve and thirteen. It would always happen after he’d have some sort of disagreement with his parents, particularly his dad, and he’d sneak over to your house in the middle of the night. Or any night you found it hard to sleep because your thoughts were consumed by your parents and all of the pressure they put on you to do well in school, so you’d go to Steve’s place because talking with him was the only way to wash away some of your stress. 

“I still stand by all of it,” He continued. “One of us says the words and we leave. No questions about it. I still don’t know where we’re going, but we’ll figure it out on the way.”

It felt less likely to happen now because you two technically had “left;” moved out on your own. Not necessarily far away, but far enough from your parents that the shit that used to be almost too unbearable became a little bit easier; mainly because you two had each other. And moments like this one only further proved that— you’d always be there for one another. However, that didn’t change the fact that those silly little promises still always stood. 

You smiled at him. “I think our plans had something to do with joining a circus.”

You weren’t sure which of you had suggested it, but you still found it funny either way. 

“Ah, yes, the circus idea,” Steve nodded, laughing a bit. “Not one of our best ones.”

“Oh, wait, actually, I think we either said circus or rodeo.”

“Both equally bad ideas, but I’d still do it for you.”

“And I’d do it for you too,” You told him before eating another scoop of your ice cream. “Hey, I know it’ll probably be midnight by the time we get home, but is the grilled cheese offer still on the table?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

let me know ur thoughts<333

(requests are open for stuff you wanna see in the universe/series!🫶🏾)

[httpiastri]

PERFECTLY FINE – CHAPTER ONE (BAHRAIN)

genre: fluff, angst, etc.

warnings: hmmm nothing i think

word count: 5.3k

author's note: aaaa first chapter !! i don't rlly like it but still !!!! a very much opener/get-to-know-the-characters/intro chapter, so maybe boring at times idk. still so excited, thanks to everyone who's contributed. love u all <333

author's note pt2: when i write about the different drivers and their living situations, i know it's not all accurate to how they actually live irl. ik i wrote modena instead of maranello here for ollie although idk exactly when he moved, but there are mentions of milton keynes for the rbj drivers bcs it made it easier for me. anyways, just go with whatever i say about how they live lol. also !!!! i changed yn's team from mp to campos hehe. okay now let's start :)

series masterlist

the winter break coming to an end is always a bittersweet feeling.

having a lot of free time to catch up with friends and family is always greatly appreciated, but at the same time, it doesn't take many days before you miss racing after the last race of the season. especially when the season is as short as the f3 season is, and especially when you don't partake in any of the winter-season races.

this year, though, coming back to the paddock doesn't feel as complicated as it most often does. your heart is light and your smile is big as you enter through the gates after the long taxi ride from your hotel, and you already can't wait to get started.

as you make your way toward the campos truck, you greet a few people you meet here and there, but it's the sight of a head full of dark, curly hair that makes you stop in your tracks. "jak!"

the american turns around when he hears your voice, grin taking over his face already. you strut all the way over to him, practically throwing yourself into his arms. "hey there," he chuckles, giving you a big hug.

"oh, i've missed you so much!" you exclaim, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. "it feels like i haven't seen you in ages."

"right? the break was way too long."

juan pokes his head through the door to the truck when he hears your voices, making some kind of comment about all of these loud teenagers always causing a commotion, before coming down to greet you with a hug as well. "how was your break?" he asks.

"wonderful, really. i spent most of it at home, catching up with family and friends. then me and ollie-" your eyes widen at your own words. you clear your throat, looking away from both of the boys for a second. "well, i went to italy."

your relationship with ollie isn't exactly a secret around the paddock, but it's a bit of an unspoken rule not to mention it too much. both because you all want to separate your personal lives from your racing ones – you don't wish to crash into a close friend like jak any more than you'd like to crash into ollie, after all – and because a certain other driver might be around to hear.

someone who's quite the conflict of interest in this specific topic.

your break truly was wonderful. it felt like the only things on your schedule were skiing in the italian mountains, gym-and sim-training, and just relaxing at home in england to recharge for the next season. you had spent a lot of it with ollie, getting to know both him and his family better. it hadn't taken you long before you were best friends with his little sister, sharing little inside jokes and spending time cheering her on at the stable. and you'd even grown surprisingly close with ollie's younger brother, and you loved seeing the three siblings interact.

they all made you feel truly at home with them, like an extended family. you couldn't have asked for anything more.

ollie was well-known in your family even before the break, especially considering how he was one of the first drivers your father picked out for the academy. and during the break, he only further impressed them; he always helped out with household tasks, he did his best to create connections to every relative of yours that he met, and he even bought the sweetest little christmas presents for your parents and grandparents. however, just the mention of italy in your current conversation is enough to make the dams drivers understand. no other detail is necessary.

when you're done talking about your break, it's juan's turn, and then jak's. during the catchup, more and more people drop by to say hello, and it doesn't take long before there's a full-on gathering outside the dams truck. dennis, another one of your former academy members, and pepe, your new teammate and newly found platonic soulmate, both listen in as jak tells you all about how jetlagged he is after coming back from the states just two days ago. "have you gotten properly settled in with aston?" you ask with a smile.

"totally. it's been great, honestly. even the apartment they found for me is top-notch."

"oh? better than milton keynes?"

jak raises his eyebrows at you, and then he bursts out laughing. "duh." throughout the many years of living next-door from each other, there wasn't a single day when the two of you didn't complain about something the apartment complex. the smell, the noise, the trails of blood in the staircase; not exactly things you'll miss when you move out one day.

"i still can't really believe we're not neighbors anymore," you complain, jutting out your bottom lip as you speak. "i've been so close to knocking on your old door so many times, but now some other freak lives there-"

"hey!" pepe shoves your shoulder, and the whole group laughs. "you're much worse than i am!"

"i'm so glad i finally moved out of there," dennis chimes in. "if i had been neighbors with y/n and pepe at the same time… i don't think i would've gotten any sleep at all, man."

"i didn't get any sleep for four years when i lived there..." jak groans.

"is this your first time in a series together?" juan jumps in, looking between you and jak, but seems surprised when you both nod. "best friends but you've never raced each other? maybe this season is what forces you apart."

"yeah, what will you do if i crash into you when you're in the lead?" jak teases, pressing an elbow into your side.

"then i think a few compromising pictures of you might make their way to the aston martin headquarters..."

when it's like this, being on the same grid with all of these people is so easy. you're all friends, not opponents. all in the same boat with the same excitement and expectations for the season. unfortunately, you know it won't stay this uncomplicated for long. when you're actually out on track in a few weeks, forcing each other into the walls and swearing at each other over the team radios, there won't be any more happy faces.

but for now, you enjoy smiling with the people who are just as much your friends as they are your enemies. that is, until you spot someone else joining your little group.

paul.

suddenly, the smile feels much more forced; the air is thicker and harder to breathe in. and when he makes his way over to you, a lump forms in your throat.

a lump you understand probably won't disappear all season.

the second you're back in your hotel room, you reach for the little dark blue book you've hidden in your bedside drawer. the pen in your hand is one you've had for years, one you always bring with you to every race weekend. the ink has been refilled possibly hundreds of times, but the plastic body has remained the same ever since you bought it.

the journal itself is torn; it's been used and loved for many years, too. it's like an extra best friend, a second home. when you're writing in it, it's one of the few times you feel like you can actually be your true, authentic self – it's one of the few times when you're not afraid that someone will judge your emotions or thoughts.

today, you know what you want to write about instantly.

i saw paul for the first time since abu dhabi.

i haven't been able to stop thinking about him. no matter how hard, i couldn't get him out of my mind. i've been wondering what he looks like now, how his voice has changed, if his smile is still as bright. and suddenly, he was there and i saw him.

the answer? he's just as he always was. and i can't tell if that makes me feel alright or awful.

you're pulled out of your head by the sound of a knock on your door, and you instantly scramble to hide your journal in the drawer again. the second you pull the door open and ollie's gaze meets yours, it's like all of your previous thoughts disappear. it's just you and him again; no one else even exists.

especially not paul.

"are you ready to go?" ollie asks, hands finding your sides as he leans in to press a quick kiss to your cheek. "i found the address of some good pasta place, it's just a few blocks from here."

you nod, your hands landing on top of his and giving them a quick squeeze before pulling away. "i just need to put on some earrings," you start, backing into the room. "will you help me choose?"

"of course."

"carlos set a stunning lap today. did you see it?"

the question makes you roll your eyes, letting out a sigh as you bring out three plates from the cupboard above the stove. your dad has always been quick to comment on anything good regarding ferrari; to anyone living in the max verstappen era, even a sliver of a good result is enough to spark some hope, so you aren't exactly surprised. "yes, dad. of course i saw it."

"i reckon this will be our year," your dad continues as you walk past him cooking by the stove, carrying the plates to the dinner table. "carlos will make them regret getting lewis instead of him."

you can't help the chuckle that leaves your mouth. your mom gives you a knowing glare over her newspaper – don't start anything. you choose to ignore it. "you really think this is how it's going to look next week during the actual race?" you ask. "you don't think max is sandbagging the slightest?"

"i'm just telling you," your dad starts, giving his stew a good stir. the snarky tone in his voice is unmistakable. "don't come home crying to me when you realize red bull isn't going to cut it anymore. if you regret your choices, go somewhere else."

even like this, when you're back home for a few days to catch up with your family, neither of you can stay away from this bickering. your dad is always pestering you about sticking with the red bull junior team, and you never can back down from a fight. you're way too stubborn.

"are you saying that i wouldn't have a place in ferrari if i wanted to?" you set the plates down with a thud, the sound making your mother flinch in her seat by the table. "you would say no to your only daughter, huh?"

"i'm just saying that you'd need to prove yourself to get into the academy."

despite your harsh tones, most people around you think you're just joking around when you act like this; some family-mockery can never hurt, right? however, there's always a hint of seriousness behind it. it's been like this between the two of you forever, and especially ever since your dad became the head of the ferrari driver academy – the rivalry between you two is stronger than ever.

you've always been sure of your choice; you've always felt like the red bull family is perfect for you. but recently, you've started to wonder if staying with the team actually was the right thing for you. what really is your future in the team? it's not like you haven't got great drivers ahead of you, drivers who will be called in for a possible f1 seat before you.

and it's not like red bull has a stellar record of keeping all of their drivers. they only have four seats in formula one, after all.

your dad wants you in ferrari, that much is clear. you may have joined the red bull junior team because of his past with the team; he did win their first ever championship, after all. accepting was the only option when you got the offer to join. however... your dad really wants you in ferrari. there's just something about the brand, the colors and the history that obviously is intriguing for everyone. even lewis hamilton couldn't stay away, for god's sake.

you can't admit it, though. not here, not right now.

so instead, you choose to fight fire with fire. "bullshit," you mumble under your breath before speaking clearly again. "second in the championship last year wasn't proof enough?"

"stop this," your mom says, folding up her newspaper and placing it on the table. you roll your eyes yet again but look back at her when she speaks again. "new subject: how is our dear ollie doing?"

you visibly relax at the question, your heart softening in your chest. "he's good. he's back in modena now, so..."

if it had been your dad asking about ollie, you know it would've been because he's interested in how the academy is doing. but since your mom is the one asking, you know it's real concern and curiosity. "how did he find the new car? did he enjoy testing?"

"not really," you say, slipping into the seat opposite your mum as your dad places the pot of stew in front of you on the table. "though, you know, the prema cars are never that good in bahrain. but he assumes they'll bounce back."

there's something in your dad's tone when he speaks again that makes you stop in the middle of your reach for the ladle. "yeah, so i've heard..." it's almost sarcastic, maybe a bit... irritated?

you turn towards him, a frown on your face. "what?"

"william," your mom says with a shake of her head. she knows something. "let's not go there." but just as you're about to call them out on how strange they're acting, she speaks again: "what do your upcoming weeks look like? for how long will you be back in england?"

anyone with eyes – or even without, to be fair – can tell that they're hiding something. and while your curiosity is killing you, you're not in the mood for a full-fledged fight at this time. you take the high road, which isn't your most familiar way of handling things like this, and try your best to push away any wishes to question your parents. you answer, engage in polite conversations and chat about your upcoming season. then, you thank them for dinner and leave the house after giving them their respective kisses on their cheeks.

but all evening, your mind is on something else. and when you get back home to your apartment, your fingers itch to send ollie a text asking if he knows anything. but instead, you go to bed with a knot in your stomach. maybe it's a topic for another day.

being back in the car for testing was great, but it was nothing compared to being back on the track for an actual race weekend. the first round of the championship was something you'd looked forward to for what felt like years, and now it was finally time. you've never been more excited, or nervous, for any race weekend.

you weren't off to the best of starts, though. qualifying has always been one of your stronger suits, so coming 13th was not a result you had anticipated. thankfully, it meant you had time to practice overtaking and had a good chance of improving your place. having to start right behind pepe and paul in both races was an interesting coincidence, but you were obviously not going to let any of it affect your racing.

though p8 is not the best place to finish, you are actually quite pleased with having gained several positions in the sprint race and taking your first point of the year. the car was, as you knew it would be, very different from the f3 car, although you were surprisingly confident and managed it well despite the circumstances.

paul, too, handled it all very well – p12 to p5 is a great record. and when he sees the timing board and realizes that you also did well considering the circumstances, he's overjoyed. he's practically bouncing down the paddock when he finally gets out of his car, accepting the fans' cheers and the handshakes from his engineers with a big grin. and when he sees you further down the paddock, his mind is filled with memories of the two of you celebrating your good placements in all other categories.

just because you aren't a couple now doesn't mean you can't honor these results together, right?

but just a second later, he realizes that you're surrounded by the familiar red-clad staff members instead of your own campos staff, and you're standing right by that red prema car he knows so well. and, sure enough, soon the person he'd forgotten about steps up to you.

paul watches as you wrap your arms around ollie's shoulders, and his heart sinks in his chest. your boyfriend hides his face in your shoulder and your hand comes up to stroke the skin on the back of his neck. paul can tell how your lips are moving, and the pout you're showing off tells him enough about what's going on even though he can't actually hear what you're saying. you aren't prioritizing being happy about your own race – it's more important to comfort ollie.

to paul, there's something so unsettling about the sight. he's seen the two of you together many times before – besides, he gets tagged in pretty much every picture a fan takes of you with your boyfriend – but it isn't your proximity that he has issues with.

the thing that upsets him is the fact that there's a frown stretched across your features; one that doesn't leave even when you part from ollie, or when you're cheered on by your mechanics, or when you leave for your post-race interviews. a frown that any other time would be replaced with a big, proud smile because of your accomplishments.

the music blasting into your ears from your airpods cuts out the rest of the world, the usually so busy and loud paddock all gone the second you pressed the play button on your phone. it's been your favorite way of getting in the race mood for years; you're not superstitious in many other ways, but your playlist has stayed the same since your first season in f4. walking around the garage, doing your warmups, or even just sitting around and waiting to get in the car like you are right now, you listen to the exact same songs on repeat. it's one of the few things that makes you truly focus on the race ahead of you.

so when you feel two hands on your shoulders from behind, you jump in your seat. turning your head, you're relieved to see the big smile of pepe shining down at you. "did i scare you?" he asks loudly enough to cut through the music, and you barely have time to nod and take one airpod out before he speaks again. "good, that was my intention."

you slide your airpods into their case as pepe plops into the seat next to you, eyes zoning in on the f3 feature race on the screen in front of you. "i'm so upset," you huff, shaking your head. "did you see the start?"

"i heard," he answers just as dino's red car appears on the screen, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "but he's made up ten places already, right?"

"yeah..." you lean your head onto his shoulder with a sigh. "we should focus on the positives. like chris!"

"and like our upcoming race." you can practically hear his grin when he speaks. "i have a good feeling about it."

when you found out that jak was leaving the red bull junior academy last fall, you were heartbroken. he's been one of your closest friends ever since you first met; the two of you have always been joined by the hip, despite how you've never raced in the same series before, and you spent most of your free time either training together or just hanging out. how would you ever get over him leaving you all alone in the academy?

thankfully, pepe joined in the late summer. at first, you were just acquaintances, but something about his personality was too good not to fall for. it didn't take long for him to become one of your closest friends, too. another boy your age, another boy with crazy energy and amazing potential – he filled the void in your heart quite well.

as well as jak's old apartment.

you'd raced each other in f3 last season, though barely ever crossed paths or talked. but living next to each other, doing all of your sim work together, and now even being on the same team meant that your relationship went from zero to one hundred in just days.

this season is your first with campos, while he's been with the team for several years already, and so far he's been very good at helping you get used to everything off track. they took a big chance choosing two rookies for their lineup, and the two of you promised each other to do your best to make them satisfied with their choice. so far, you've gotten one third and eight place in your first-ever f2 race – and you're just getting started.

"i do, too," you hum. "let's go out there and show them today."

paul is beaming when you see him stroll back to the paddock after his media duties. his cap is perched on top of his head – the right cap, finally – and his fingers are still tightly wrapped around the neck of his champagne bottle. when he notices you leaning against the doorframe leading into the f2 hospitality, his smile grows even bigger.

you meet him halfway, arms wrapping around his shoulders easily, just like they have so many times before. one of his arms drapes around your waist and he holds you close, a hum vibrating from his chest. finally, he thinks to himself; this definitely makes up for all of the things he felt yesterday.

"congrats, paul," you tell him. "that was amazing. you were amazing."

"thank you," he says before pausing. then, he lets out a chuckle. "to be honest, i wasn't sure if you would care."

you frown at him when you pull slightly away from him, just enough to look into his eyes. is that what he really thought? that you wouldn't care about his driving? "oh, please. you still mean a lot to me, okay?" your hand moves down to his upper arm, giving it a soft squeeze. "i still consider you to be one of my closest friends."

friends. the word stings like a knife in his heart. it's been months since you broke up, and yet, it still feels like a raw wound.

paul forces a smile. he understands that despite how painful it is, there's something good in it. there's still a place for him in your heart, even if he's forced to share it with someone else.

he pulls you in again, and the hug is even tighter now than before. it's a comforting feeling; you're both at peace, with a good weekend behind you, in the arms of someone so close to you. after everything you've gone through together, but especially everything he has gone through these last few months with the mercedes academy and prema, you're finally through to the other side. "it all worked out in the end, huh?" you ask after a few moments of silence.

"i guess it did." you part from each other to leave that oh-so-familiar gap between you yet again. "will you be celebrating with us tonight? i think pepe had something planned. you know how he is."

you snort. "yeah, i do know. maybe i will." you shift uncomfortably, crossing your arms over your chest as your eyes dart to the ground. "but, um... i'll have to check with..."

you don't even say his name – you don't have to. ollie's entire weekend has been so far from everyone's expectations, and if you know him correctly, he will not be in the mood for celebrations tonight.

paul nods slowly, pressing his lips into a thin line. "right."

the silence that follows is so awkward you can't help but chew on your bottom lip, a tiny sigh escaping through your mouth. he must be hating this, you think – today is supposed to be only a good day for him, he shouldn't have his ex's new relationship pushed up in his face.

"well, i have a debrief to get to," you make up, flashing him a quick smile. "congrats again, paul."

"thank you." he gives you another nod, before turning away and making his way towards the paddock. "pepe will text you!"

and just like that, he's off, and your mind wanders to the thought of actually going out to celebrate. ollie will definitely not join you, though you're not sure why you don't want to go without him. is it because you'd rather stay and comfort him?

or is it because you're scared of what you'll do, or feel, when you're alone with paul for the first time since you broke up?

"p5 is still good, my dear." your mom's voice booms out from the speakers of your phone as you drop it onto the desk, and you can't help but let out a sigh, taking a step back.

"of course, but... i feel like i could've done more." it was both true and not; with paul's five-second penalty, you definitely could've gained at least one more position if only you had stayed within that gap. but then again, a fifth position and ten more points was a great result for a rookie.

"but you'll still be going out to celebrate with your friends, right?"

you ended up telling pepe you weren't in the mood to party, despite his persistent complaints, and decided to instead use the evening for relaxation and recovery. your entire body, especially your neck, has really suffered this weekend – you were already sore after the shakedown, but this is on another level – so a bubble bath and a good night's sleep in your hotel room seemed like a much better choice.

"no, i'm just going to rest a little..." you hum, flopping down on the chair by the desk. "maybe grab something to eat with ollie."

weirdly enough, you haven't been able to get in contact with him all evening. you were told that he hurried back to his hotel room right after the race, not in the mood to talk to anyone on the team at all, so you chose to give him some time alone to cool down before you'll eventually go over there. still, you thought he would've answered at least one of your many texts by now.

thinking about your boyfriend, you suddenly remember something. "hey, mum?" she lets out an affirmative sound. "you remember when i was home last time, and dad said something about ollie and the car? and he acted all weird?" you pause for a moment, but when she doesn't say anything, you keep going. "what was that all about?"

"well darling, we..." you take the sudden silence as a sign that she might not be sure how honest she wants to be right now, and it makes you frown instinctively. she sighs. "we're just a little worried about him, that's all."

your confusion only grows. "what's that supposed to mean?"

"we're worried he's feeling too pressured to impress us." you hear her take a deep breath. "of course, your father is his boss, so it is natural in that way. but we wish he would just see us as any regular parents. he's always talking about racing like there's nothing else in the world, and..."

"that's not fair." you shake your head despite the fact that she can't see it. "that isn't him. he isn't all racing and no fun."

"oh love, i'm sure he is loads of fun, but-"

"i really have to go," you cut her off, standing from your seat. "talk to you later."

you hang up before she can even answer, the guilt in your head from treating your mother like that already pushed away by the anger growing inside of you.

you always assumed your parents loved ollie. sure, you knew they adored having paul over when you were still a couple, too, but ollie is every mother-in-law's dream son. he's from your country, he's a pure sweetheart, he's even in the fda for god's sake. how could they not love him?

and so what if he tries to impress them? who wouldn't do the same?

when ollie opens his door for you, he looks like he's just woken up from a bad night's sleep. bed head, bags under his eyes, and just a general aura of tiredness. if you didn't know better, you'd think he was an insomniac. but thinking back to how badly his race went, the sight of him just makes your stomach churn.

your arms wrap around his neck in an instant, pulling him into your warm embrace. you feel the tension in his upper back release right away, and ollie's hands find your sides, giving you a light squeeze. you refrain the urge to pull away when he nuzzles his nose into your neck, standing strong against your usual ticklishness, and your heart softens slightly when he lets out a deep sigh into your skin.

"you okay?" you finally manage to get out, and his answer comes in the form of a nod against your shoulder. "is there anything i can do for you?"

he pulls away but stays so close that you feel his breath against your face; so close that you're both slightly cross-eyed when your gazes meet. "stay with me?"

your answer is expressed through the fleeting kiss you press to his lips, your way of saying of course. ollie doesn't waste any time pulling you into his hotel room, and you flop down onto the bed with him. he sits up and watches you lie down against the covers, your head nestling into the pillow. "tell me about your race," he says as he reaches down to take your hand, his fingers slipping in between yours. "eight positions gained, huh?"

of course he doesn't want to talk about his own race. but the fact that he's willing to think about racing at all, just to let you have a chance to talk about how well you did and boast a little; it all makes your heart flutter.

and you're sure, you're so sure that he is so much more than just a racing driver. he's not what your parents think he is. he's an incredible racer, sure, but he's also the sweetest man you've ever met. the perfect boyfriend.

even when he's feeling like this, he takes his time to still pay attention to you and ask questions. and then he listens, he really listens, because he wants to understand every inch of your mind just as well as he geeks out about every detail of apexes and tyre degradation. and then he says just the right things, the things to sweep you off your feet yet again.

he's so perfect that he's incredibly easy to love.

so why is there a knot in your stomach at the thought of the race – and more specifically, the person on the last step of the podium?

why does your mind keep running back to how he's celebrating, and what it would be like if you'd been there with him?

yourusername just posted!

yourusername double pookie podiums & good points in the bag! thanks camposracing for a great car ❤️ we go again in a week!

show all 81 comments

user top job this weekend!!

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user i will stop hating on red bull if either of these get into f1

→ user red bull juniors >>> anyone else

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

user what happened to ollie though 😭

→ user it's just the first round, calm your horses

→ user why always bring up ollie on her posts... is that all she is, ollie's gf? 😐

→ user forreeaaalll

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

redbulljuniorteam y/n and pepe making us proud 🥺

→ user pls admin you're making me cry

→ yourusername me too 😭

[i-luvsang]

adorable — choi jongho

1.2K MILESTONE EVENT ☆ CLOSED  gn!reader , fluff, comedy , frenemies to lovers , cw : one bed trope eheh, unedited as per usual , wc : 1K , tysm for the request anne lovely !! hope you enjoy as much as i enjoyed writing it <333 @ssaboala

honest to god, you have no idea how you got here. genuinely, the situation ended up so complicated that you couldn’t recount the story if anyone asked. all you know is that, somehow, you are stuck in a resort room with choi jongho, while everyone else is blessed with, more or less, their preferred roommates. and in any other room, you’d be just fine with jongho. you had tried to trade with mingi and yunho, because their room has two beds. but they insisted they wouldn’t even fit in one bed together. both you and jongho had argued that would be better than the two of you having to share, but the two tall boys just laughed and shoved you out of their room.

so here you stand, side by side with jongho, staring at the single bed as the clock ticks later and later. you shiver in your summer pajamas, silently cursing the blasting air conditioning that the both of you failed to find in order to adjust the temperature.

the silence lasts a few more seconds before jongho breaks it awkwardly. “i’ll sleep on the–”

“don’t say you’ll sleep on the floor, that’s so stupid,” you cut him off. he rolls his eyes.

“what, are you gonna do it?”

“no,” you scoff. “i enjoy being free of back pain, thank you very much. but if you’re that scared of sharing a bed with me, go kick yeosang’s partner out of their bed and share with him.” he makes a face of disdain at you, effectively shutting down your senseless offer. you decide to take initiative, walking over to the bed and pulling the covers down. “i’m going to bed. i’m tired. you’re welcome to join me if you can work up the courage.”

he scoffs at your usual antics, watching as you slip under the covers, turning your back to the other side of the bed. but all he does is follow in your wake, sitting down on the bed and flipping off the last light in the room, plunging you two into momentary darkness before your eyes adjust. he throws a look over his shoulder to see the dim outline of your back facing him before laying down and pulling the covers over himself.

it’s certainly awkward knowing that he’s right there, but as you settle into the mattress, you become more concerned with the cold that seems to seep into the bed with you. you had prepared for hot, summer weather, and stupidly forgot about the normal blessing of air conditioning which has now turned into an enemy of sorts. with the cold settling around you, you become even more aware of jongho’s presence mere inches away from you, his body heat calling to you like a forbidden comfort. you curl further into yourself, hoping that your sleepiness will win out over the cold so you can ignore the discomfort and the charming boy beside you. but your unlucky streak continues when you feel jongho turn to face you, then hear his quiet voice.

“c’mon, i can tell you’re freezing.” you turn your head to see him staring at you, his arms open as if to invite you into his embrace. “i won’t tell anyone that you like to be the little spoon, honest,” he teases.

you scoff, more out of shock than anything else. you can’t even seem to come up with anything to say in response.

“hurry up before i kick you out of the bed and let you freeze to death on the floor,” he threatens, but as per usual, he’s all bark and no bite. only for you, you’ve begun to notice as of late. that despite the constant bickering the two of you share, neither of you would ever do anything to hurt the other. that maybe, just maybe, underneath all of his sarcastic wit, he cares about you. just a little bit though. because of course, you only care about him a little bit.

you huff out a false sigh of frustration before closing the gap between the two of you, holding back a real sigh of relief at the feeling of his warmth enveloping you. with your back flush against his chest and his arms around you, you admit only to yourself that it feels like a bit of heaven came down and graced itself upon you. he doesn’t say anything else, doesn’t ask if this is better, doesn’t even tease you. he just lets you stay there, doesn’t push you away when he can feel your muscles relax and hears your breathing even out, even though you never intended to fall asleep like that.

so when you wake up as warm and cozy as can be, it feels like yesterday’s fiasco, because, for a moment, you can’t remember how the hell you ended up in your position. there are strong, sturdy arms wrapped around you and they could only belong to one person. choi jongho. startled and drowsy, unable to recall what happened in bed last night, you roll out of his hold, so fast you nearly tumble to the floor if it weren’t for his quick reaction. he grabs you, pulling you right back into him. you stare at him, dumfounded.

“what the hell are you doing?” you whisper-yell right into his face. 

“keeping you from falling off the bed, idiot!” he retorts, hands still glued to your waist.

“well why the hell were you holding me when i woke up?”

“i was keeping you warm because apparently some of us don’t know how to pack properly for trips,” he shoots right back at you. “and you’re the one who fell asleep in my arms.” it’s hard for him to hold back the thought that it was adorable. “don’t look so shocked,” he says, taking in your wide eyes and, well, shocked expression.

“d-don’t be shocked?” you question wildly. “hah! ‘it was adorable,’ you say?”

it’s his turn to look utterly surprised. “what?”

you let out a full laugh at that. “you didn’t mean to say that out loud, did you?” he yanks his hands away from you when he realizes what you mean.

“that’s not what i sai–” there’s a furious blush spreading across his cheeks as he sits up.

“that is what you said!” you exclaim, following him into a sitting position. “you think it’s adorable that i fell asleep in your arms.”

and there’s no way he could deny you.

[averytirednerd]

Oh yeah, time for a big rant about Hazbin Hotel!!!

I haven’t really had much of a chance to sit down and write about this since I watched the episodes, so things I say are probably going to reflect what others have said. I’m just writing this to gush about the things I love about some particular songs in HH. 

I didn’t have any big expectations going into the first episode, because I’d mostly heard negative reviews of the show so far. I had heard that the songs, however, were bright spots, so I really looked out for the songs and listened in every time we were graced with one. The characters are truly the best versions of themselves whenever there’s a song going on, even if they aren’t the main focus of the song. It’s amazing to see, especially since my favorite thing about this show is the characters themselves.

My favorites are “Loser, Baby” & “Stayed Gone” and will probably be the main focus of this post because <3333

“Stayed Gone” is sung by Christian Borle (Vox) and Amir Talai (Alastor) and I could not be happier about it. Their voices are amazing here, and my favorite bits of this song are on repeat in my head.

I also love little visuals like the mug Vox has in the talk show format, the scrolling text in the news show format, or Vox’s error message toward the end of their bantering. 

(The scrolling text says: “I’m totally not worried about this guy and neither should you be. I totally wrecked his sh*t last time he tried me.”)

Alastor really gets under Vox’s skin and it makes me kick my feet every time. Their dynamic truly is everything, and I’m so excited we got this song that showcases it perfectly. 

He clearly enjoys it too, what a little jerk.

Speaking of these two, Vox definitely had/has a thing for Al at some point, right? I mean…inviting him to the Vees for a start. Not to mention just the v i b e s. Poor guy though, it’s definitely one-sided.

I love Al’s use of…modern…lingo. Truly a spectacle. That on top of it being a reveal of Al’s rejection to Vox’s offer 💀 I love this man <333

Last thing about this song, promise, but also I love the casual little lore drops and more pieces to the puzzle of the past that we get. Very exciting! Can’t wait to see how everything fits together once we find more pieces.

Okay okay, moving on. “Loser, Baby” is amazing musically as well as visually. 

First things first, I LOVE JAZZ OMG AND IT FITS HUSK’S VIBE AND EVERYTHING SO PERFECTLY???

Keith David’s voice definitely fits Husk in my eyes now, I see it, it works. He’s amazing. Does a fantastic job.

Not to mention Blake Roman’s performance was, of course, incredible as well. 

The big, upbeat, brassy sound in this song is amazing and I’m loving the trumpet in it especially (any fellow trumpet players? no?)

I love everything about this song. The visuals, voices, instrumentals, lyrics, message, all of it!

Husk slowly going from “yeah you kinda suck lmao, but so do I” in order to not make Angel feel like he’s not being genuine, to sneaking in a better message of “we’re not perfect but it’s okay, don’t be so hard on yourself” (and getting Angel to believe/go along with it too!!) is amazing. It’s a perfect example of these characters being the best versions of themselves during musical numbers. 

This song is what solidified Husk as number 2 in my rankings (and I’m sure I’m not the only one). I mean…just look at the way he moves, it’s so silly.

(We’re going to ignore the Videoshop watermarks, okay?)

Overall, I’m loving this show so far despite some obvious issues with pacing n such and an overall rocky start. Especially loving the songs, which I think kinda make the show rn. 

If anyone wants to add anything (because I definitely didn’t cover a whole lot, just surface level stuff because even this took a while to type out) then please feel free to! Also ask me any questions you’ve got for me concerning stuff that has/will happen(ed) in Hazbin Hotel. I love HH discourse!

Thanks to those of you who read all the way through, sorry for such a long post lol <3

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

Can you please write some (optional relationship, if not, romanse) headcannons for Geo and/or Hyugo with a weeb MC? They don't have to be strictly into anime, but just really loving Japanese and Japanese culture (bonus if they don't know Japanese).

Chronic Love (Geo + Hyugo x Weeb! MC/Reader)

Enjoy my amazing little weeb, have an awesome day! Solemnly thanks for entrusting me with writing this for you.

Also, uh, a minor sidenote, I am not an anime enjoyer or even remotely close to a weeb; so if I get something wrong/too exaggerated etc. feel free to publicly execute me in the town square. <333

You can read this from any perspective, as in, both in an established relationship setting and a solely platonic one. :]

A/N: From now on, Geo and Hyugo will be referred to as Geode and Hyugeode, if anyone in the Geo religion utters 'Geo', they shall atone. 😊😊😊/hj

- Signed by biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer

Chronic(ally): to a very great extent; extremely.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hyugo is honestly surprised when he finds out of your...intense love for Japan and its culture.

He won't be opposed to it, he'd find it a smidge endearing, considering he's Japanese; and you seem to be willing to learn anything about it. He's more than happy to tell you what you wanna know.

Do you take advantage of this? Yes.

Would probably eventually, to your joy, start telling you cultural appropriations and norms, along with a couple generic Japanese words/phrases (you say them whenever possible, feeling the language fall from your lips and off your tongue feels so right, you can't get enough!).

You ask him to tutor you Japanese at some point, to which he politely declines (he's got enough on his plate okay?!), but is willing to converse with you if you ask.

Just don't nag him, he fucking hates being nagged.

You'd probably mispronounce certain words, to which he'd correct you, until you get the hang of it.

Might take you to a Japanese candy store to tell you his personal recommendations (they're great btw).

If you like anime he'll be chill with it, just don't act like the stereotypical weeb and he's fine.

Learning words is one thing, overdramatizing, glorifying and exaggerating Japanese things annoys him.

Fortunately, you're reasonably calm with your devotion for it, and he doesn't mind.

Would get a bit nervous if you decide to actively pursue Japanese, after all, what if you overhear him talking to one of his shadier acquaintances and pick out the context?

Would overtime subtly monitor you, gauge how much you know and how quickly you're progressing.

Overall supportive though, enjoys the fact you like Japan. :]

Literally doesn't care. At all.

You like Japan? Cool. Good for you.

Much prefers for you to not harass him about Japanese words and phrases, unless he tolerates likes you enough, to which he'll blurt out something along the lines of: "Go fuck yourself".

Will probably teach you insults (he says it's to insult you, but we all know the real reason teehee)

If you're hanging out somewhere and Geo spies Japanese text, he might point it out to see if you know it, to which you'll be racking your brain until he relents and tell you.

Eventually will start briefly telling you things about Japans' history and art. Especially bonsais, he loves those. He'll never tell you though.

Will probably take you to a Japanese market/restaraunt eventually, if he feels you've gotten good enough.

If you order fluently enough he'll be genuinely pleased (won't show it though).

If not, he'll do it for you (internally cringes at the sheer thought aaaaaa).

However, in the rare event that Hyugo calls him "Subaru" and you hear? And understand?

That won't be good.

He'll tell you to drop it instantly.

And he will give you the most murderous glare if you ever ask him why he goes by Geo.

If he feels you've forgotten about that incident you haven't, he'll be more relaxed again, but will maintain a veil of caution now.

After all, you can understand what he says in private now.

That's not a good thing.

If you like anime he's chill with it, just don't be over-the-top obsessive towards it and he's cool.

Is satisfied you want to learn Japanese though. Likes you a lot smidge more for it too.

[swarvey]

paper rings | harvey x f!reader

summary -> you decide to surprise harvey with a belated birthday gift; harvey tries to fight off some unwelcome thoughts. warnings -> none! harvey just has some horny thoughts. wc -> 3357

a/n: surprise, an update!!

i loved writing this chapter. i actually feel like this song could have fit well as this story's title as well!! very excited for the upcoming chapters, though i am a little sad to think this will eventually have to end </3

well, either way, hope you enjoy ! <333 seeing y'all comment and stuff honestly is so heartwarming, so thank you all!!!

ch. 10 | ch. 11 | ch. 12

paper rings masterlist

chapter eleven: state of grace -> "this is the golden age of something good and right and real."

Your eyes opened to the warmth of sunlight flowing through your window, a relaxed breath escaping you. A pleasant smile settled on your face as you sat up, rubbing your eyes and remembering the words Harvey had confessed to you the previous night.

I love you.

For a split second, you wondered if you dreamt it all, if it’d all been too good to be true.

Then, you saw that the bouquet was still missing from its usual spot on your wall, and you knew it had all been real.

You grinned, sitting up with a renewed energy. Finally, you were able to wrench out the phrase you craved to hear from your best friend. Despite the efforts — and pain — it took to get there, you still managed to do it, which, in your eyes, was all that really mattered. 

You recalled the insecurities Harvey had spilled to you; more so, how he felt he didn’t deserve you. Out of everything that happened, those words hurt by far the most. You saw the torn, broken look in his eyes, knowing him well enough to see past it and realize his wounds weren’t fresh. You didn’t even want to know how long his horrid thoughts had stewed in his head. Probably way too long. What a terrible way to spend his birthday.

Then, an idea struck you — one that you knew would take the majority of the day and your best efforts, but you felt in your heart it would all be worth it to see his face light up. Besides, Harvey had never hesitated in the past to put you at the top of his list of priorities.

You figured it was time to give back.

-

“Forgive me.”

“Elliott, please—”

“I know,” the overly dramatic poet choked out, grasping Harvey’s hand with both of his as if his life depended on it. “It’s terrible of me to ask you this, I know, but please, forgive me for the trouble I caused, my friend. I just . . .” Elliott looked up at the doctor, his bottom lip trembling and eyes filled with guilt. “I just couldn’t stand the feeling of lying to Leah, and I knew she had no ill intentions, either, but— oh, I know it’s no excuse for what I did!” 

After his birthday, Harvey decided it was finally time to reconnect with his two supportive friends, shooting them both quick texts to meet him at the Stardrop the following evening. He roughly explained everything that happened with you, not forgetting to mention the stinging silence he initially left you with. Elliott’s face dropped when he got to the part where you told him you knew about everything, how Leah had taken the big step to be the one to tell you. Fortunately, his friends were as understanding as ever, more happy than anything that he got the chance to reconcile with you. 

Unfortunately, Elliott decided the guilt weighing on his shoulders could only be lifted by apologizing for nearly twenty minutes straight.

“And here I thought my life couldn’t get any worse,” Shane gruffed, only half joking. He proceeded to roll his eyes so hard Harvey worried he would hurt himself. “Fuckin’ hell, just forgive him already, would ya, doc? I can’t stand this anymore.” 

Harvey scratched the back of his neck before placing his free hand on Elliott’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly. “It’s fine, Elliott, I promise,” he replied, unable to keep the amusement out of his tone. “It’s my fault for not telling her, after all. Besides, it all worked out, anyhow.”

“A-are you certain?” He leaned forward, nearly toppling over his seat onto the Stardrop’s floor. “How can you be so kind? It’s truly inspiring, doctor, you must let me buy you a meal for your generosity!”

“With what money, pal?”

Elliott fell back into his seat with a huff, managing a glare at his friend before sipping his drink. “With the money I made from selling my first novel, thank you oh-so very much.”

Harvey blinked in surprise, while Shane gawked at him. “Are you being serious?”

Elliott’s chest puffed up in pride. “Completely. Of course, my first patron was Leah, but I’m planning on having a live book reading at the library soon!” Harvey smiled warmly at the sight of his friend’s joyful expression, proud to see his hard work come to fruition.

Then, Shane frowned slightly and shifted in his seat. “What, so you didn’t even bother to ask me for one? C’mon, the least you could do after buggin’ me about this damn book for nearly a year is offer me a copy. Geez.” 

A pause. “You . . . actually want one?”

“Yeah, yeah, save the sap, it’ll make me barf.” He paused. “It’s kid-friendly, right? I’ll get two, give one to Jas. Maybe one for Vincent, too, fuck it.”

Harvey could only laugh as he watched Elliott pull Shane into an unreciprocated hug, his eyes gleaming with grateful tears and he tightly wrapped his arms around him. Despite his loud, profanity-filled protests, there was a light in Shane’s gaze that hadn’t been there a couple seasons ago. After promising to see the therapist Harvey recommended to him, he’d slowly begun to make progress, even deciding to replace his usual beer at the saloon with a glass of pop instead. 

“Alright, enough!” Shane finally regained his stance in his seat, running a hand through his ruffled hair. He mumbled something neither of them could hear, but Elliott beamed nonetheless.

“I hope you’ll save me one, Elliott,” Harvey said sincerely. “Though, by the looks of it, you might have quite the fan already.”

“Shut it, doc.” 

Elliott let out a hearty laugh and gestured to Emily for an order. “Well then, my dear doctor, you must emphasize on your reunion with your lover,” he pressed on, looking at him eagerly, “but not before I order you a promised meal.”

“What’ll it be, gentlemen?” Emily asked as she wandered over, looking at the three with a bright smile. Her gaze stopped at Harvey. “Hey, what a nice surprise! I haven’t seen you here in a bit. I hope you’re doing alright, people have been saying they haven’t seen much of you lately.”

He cleared his throat, nodding. “There were a few . . . things, I had to deal with, but it’s all cleared up now.”

She hummed, but something about her look was a little too knowing. “Well, that’s all that matters, right? As long as you’re okay.” She leaned in a little then, close enough so she could whisper in his ear. “Haley’s just about ready to murder you, though. Thought I should give you a heads up.”

She smiled sympathetically when Harvey groaned, covering his face with his hands. He didn’t even bother to hear what Elliott ordered him and focused on the fact that one of your closest friends in town was probably plotting his murder.

“Everyone knows, don’t they?” he asked, voice muffled. He lowered his hands to see Shane hiding his smirk with his drink while Elliott sighed.

“I wish I could tell you otherwise, but yes,” the writer responded promptly. “I wouldn’t fear too much, though, especially if the two of you are on good terms! I’m sure she’ll clear the air.”

The door to the saloon opened, and — as if your mentioning had summoned you — you walked in wearing your work clothes, dirt and grass stains covering the front of your overalls. Your eyes met his immediately, and Harvey instantly looked away, feeling as if he had just seen his crush in the hallway. You tended to have that effect on him.

After the two of you shared a kiss the night before, he insisted on walking you home, tightly holding your hand the entire way. He was visibly reluctant to leave your side, allowing himself to, for once, be as clingy as he felt. When the two of you reached your front porch, he’d grabbed your hips and drew you closer to his body, looking at you with nothing but pure adoration.

“We have a long way to go, don’t we?” he asked softly, bringing a hand up to caress your cheek. 

You hummed in agreement, turning slightly to kiss his palm. “Good thing we’ve got all the time in the world, right?” Your eyes seemed to glitter when he looked at you, his breath faltering.

Harvey didn’t know why your words made him feel the way he did — then again, he couldn’t explain a lot of things he felt when it came to you — but in that moment, a wave of gratefulness washed over him, and he couldn’t help but pull you in for another gentle kiss. He thought back to what you had told him all those years ago, how he had good karma, and he decided you might have been right after all. There was no other explanation as to why you were still in his arms after all the trouble he caused.

“You truly are my weakness,” he blurted suddenly. “My vulnerability, the crack in my defense. I think I would do anything for you.”

You laughed at his words, and the sound made his heart race. “You’ve been hanging out with Elliott too much.” You paused then, leaning in closer to his ear. “Is that a promise, Harvs? Anything?”

He shivered, swallowing hard. “Of course.”

Just when he thought he’d earned another taste of your lips — a rougher one maybe, one that led to your bedroom — you pulled away, sporting a mischievous half-smile.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you chirped happily. “Goodnight!”

Harvey let out another groan at the thought, trying to ignore the stir in his pants. We’ll take it slow, he reminded himself, not even noticing your figure appearing beside him. We have all the time in the world.

“Earth to Harvey, hello?” you sang, waving a hand in front of his face. “You there? Or is nobody home?”

He scowled as his friends stifled their laughter, though managed a smile when he turned to greet you. “Hello,” he sighed, pushing his glasses up. “Ignore them, please. I’m not sure why I associate with them.” 

“Hey, a ‘thank you’ would be nice, buddy,” Shane said, voice dripping in leftover humor. “We’re the ones who’ve listened to all your little love-sick rants.”

You perked a brow. “Love-sick, huh?”

“Let’s go for a walk, shall we?” Harvey desperately suggested, taking out his wallet and throwing some coins on the table for his drinks. “I’ll talk to you two later. And, thank you,” he rushedly added. As he grabbed your hand and practically dragged you out of the saloon, he missed their lopsided grins at his words.

Harvey let out a long breath as he stepped outside, resting his hands on his hips. “I felt like I was suffocating in there,” he admitted, finding your hand once again.

You snorted. “Looked like it,” you replied, lacing your fingers with his. “I was looking for you, anyway. Did you get my text?” 

He blinked, grabbing his phone out of his pocket with his other hand to find one unread message from you.

Y/N : you at the saloon? i’ve got a surprise for you

“A surprise?” he wondered aloud. “For me?”

“Yes, Harvey, that’s what I said.” You smiled at his embarrassed frown, leading him through the plaza toward the clinic. “C’mon, I’ve been working on it all day!”

Just as he was about to question you further, a figure with long blonde hair and a blue tank top marched in front of him, successfully cutting off his hold on you.

“Don’t think I’ll forgive you as easily,” Haley snapped, and Harvey flinched at her furious tone. “You’re a real lucky guy, you know that, right? ‘Cause if I were her, I would have taken those glasses and shoved ‘em right up your—”

“Haley! There you are,” Leah laughed awkwardly as she grabbed the blonde’s arm, attempting to tug her away. “We’re going to miss the movie, dear. Let’s go.” She turned to Harvey, and he was glad to be met with much kinder eyes. “I’m glad you’re alright, Harvey. We’ll see you around.” Leah’s eyes lit up. “Oh, and happy birthday! Even though it’s a day late.”

“Thank you,” he responded, anxiously glancing at Haley. A pout rested on her lips as her partner nudged her.

“Yeah, whatever, happy birthday, I guess,” she mumbled, and you laughed at her reaction. Her expression lightened after that, the ends of her mouth lifting slightly. “I expect a call later, okay?”

“Will do.” You waved at the couple as they walked away, grabbing Harvey’s arm and continuing to lead him. “She’s pretty mad, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Really?” he asked dryly, fiddling with his tie. “I thought she seemed quite happy to see me.” You rolled your eyes, excitedly bringing him up the stairs to the fountain. “What is it, exactly?”

“What’s, what?”

“The surprise.”

You huffed, walking past the fountain. “Well, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you, would it?” 

“I . . . suppose not, no.”

“Then be patient, we’re almost there.”

You only stopped when the two of you reached the Community Center, two birds chirping curiously down at your arrival. Harvey examined the building, noticing how, despite it looking as beat up as it usually did, it felt more welcoming.

Before he could continue, you swiftly snatched his glasses off his face, covering his eyes with your hands.

“What—”

“Just go with it, Harvs, please? ”

The pleading tone of your request nearly sent him spiraling. Nearly.

Take it slow.

He nodded, swallowing thickly once again. You’re going to be the death of me, he thought. He almost voiced it to you the door opened, but was interrupted before he got the chance.

“I felt a little bad yesterday night,” you admitted, leading him somewhere unknown. “With everything going on between us, it was hard to plan something for your birthday.”

He sighed, a pang of guilt running through his chest. “Now, you know none of that is—”

“It doesn’t matter,” you interrupted. “It’s over now, and we’re . . . good. Better than good, I think.” Harvey smiled, wishing he could see your face. “And, even though it’s not really your birthday anymore, I still wanted to give you something better than a dried bouquet.”

“That bouquet means much more to me than you think. It’s all I need, really,” he said softly, then willed himself to say his next words. “You’re all I need.”

“And you’re being a big ‘ol softie.”

Suddenly, he felt your hands drop, slowly blinking his eyes open. Of course, at first, all he could make out were blurbs of green and white.

“Um—” Although he couldn’t see, Harvey could practically hear you roll your eyes as you passed him his glasses.

“Surprise.”

He couldn’t believe it.

In front of him was a completely refurbished room in the Community Center, the walls smooth and the flooring void of any faults. That, in itself, was impressive to him. 

The room wasn’t exactly what caught his eye, though.

No, what caught Harvey’s attention was the various model planes scattered across the room, along with the small workbench in the corner.

“I had to go into the city to find those, it took me all day,” you explained, trying to read his reaction. His mouth remained parted as he walked around, taking his time to take in everything. “This is meant to be the Crafts Room. Mayor Lewis asked me to fix this place up a while ago, and that’s where I met the Junimos. Thought I’d add my own touch, though.” 

Harvey nodded absentmindedly. He couldn’t bring himself to speak. Quite frankly, he was in shock, unable to believe what you had done for him. His gaze only pried away when a familiar squeak sounded beneath him. He smiled as Blueberry hugged his foot. 

The spirit looked at him expectedly, as if asking, Do you like it? 

“It’s—” He stopped then, finally turning to face you. Warm tears filled Harvey’s eyes as he stepped forward and engulfed you in his arms, burying your face in his neck. “It’s more than I could have ever asked for. Thank you.”

He felt you slump in relief, gladly wrapping your arms around him. “I’m glad you like it,” you breathed, pulling back to see his face. “You had me worried there for a second. I thought it was too much.”

“No, this is perfect.” Harvey laughed, bright and unlike he’d ever laughed before, and kissed you. “I can’t even find the words to explain how I feel.”

You grinned. “Maybe ‘happy’ could give you a good start.”

“No, that’s too big of an understatement.”

“Hm. ‘Joyous,’ then?”

“I believe those are synonyms, honey.”

You blinked, a blush creeping up your neck. Harvey didn’t notice, too busy walking over to the desk that seemed made for him. Blueberry poked your ankle, and you took it as a sign to stick out your hand. The Junimo happily walked up your arm, settling down on your shoulder and closing its eyes. 

“This . . . this looks just like the one I had in my grandparents’ house as a kid,” he realized, eyes widening.

“You used to spend so much time sitting there, working on your planes, ignoring me,” you added playfully. “If you ever get bored, you can come here, now. Add to your collection. You can show them off to everyone, too, after I finish rebuilding everything.”

He flushed at that, turning to meet your eyes. “No, I couldn’t, i-it’s too embarrassing—”

“Harvey. If this —” You swept your arm around the room. “—is what you enjoy, you shouldn’t hide it. It’s an important part of you, and I know everyone in town would be impressed.” You gently tugged at his hand, holding it strongly in your own. “Plus, I find it very endearing, you know.”

He raised a brow, grabbing your other hand. “Really? Building model airplanes is something you look for in a partner?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Harvey shook his head, tilting it as he studied your gaze. “This is still so surreal,” he muttered, glancing down at your interlaced fingers. “I feel like I’m dreaming.”

You nodded, then smiled. “You know, I never would have guessed this.” You lifted your hands slightly, giving him a reassuring squeeze. “Now that it’s real, though, I’m not sure I’ll ever let you go.”

Harvey’s heart was just about ready to leap from his chest.

“You won’t ever have to,” he vowed. “Never again.”

“That’s a big promise.”

“It’s one I’m willing to make.”

“When did you get so bold?”

“When you became mine.”

Your eyes narrowed, flicking between his eyes and lips. “Is that what I am?” you questioned, voice light and innocent. “Yours?”

Slow, Harvey. You said you would take it slow.

He feigned a cough, looking away. “That’s what the bouquet meant, right?” he asked, raising one hand to swipe his mustache. “It means we’re official.”

The look you gave him was teasing, dangerous, but you covered it up with a laugh, starting to walk with him back towards the door. Blueberry had disappeared from your shoulder at some point; Harvey guessed even spirits grew tired of couples dancing around each other.

“Come on. Let’s go home.”

“‘Home’?”

You looked back at him, huffing. “We’re official, right? That means you get to help me finish up the chores for the day.”

He thought for a moment, then nodded. 

Chores. He could do chores. He’d done plenty of chores with you before, when the ache in your grandfather’s back became too much and he needed a couple extra pair of hands. Chores would be good for him, Harvey thought. They would keep his mind off the uncomfortable tightness in his pants that’d been taunting him for hours, keep his dirty thoughts at bay, hopefully even keep some distance between the two of you, just for a little. Just until he could calm himself down and remind himself he was supposed to be going slow.

“You can spend the night, too.”

His face fell.

I’m screwed.

[elsfavor1te]

some short hc’s maybe of ellie x reader being in a MESSY situationship… constantly trying to be seen with other people to make the other jealous, late night calls, all that. love your writing 🤍

BLURRED LINES.

warnings: collegeau!ellie williams x fem!reader. messy friends with benefits situation. ellie is mentioned as being possessive and toxic but i don’t think she really acts toxic, jus a little possessive. 18+ smut! strap is mentioned, (r receiving). jealous!ellie, jealous!reader, mutual pining, fluffy ending with a bit of angst if you squint, lmk if i forgot anything!

this was fun to write, thanks for the ask anon. <333 (just realized you said short… i hope this is okay😭.

what happened between you and ellie was supposed to be a one time thing. you got high together and fucked, so what?

then one time became two.. and two turned into whenever you both felt like it. of course you both agreed not to catch feelings for the other (as if that shit ever works out).

you didn’t have feelings for her though, you don’t think. and you’re almost positive ellie doesn’t have feelings for you. she’s just—possessive and a toxic asshole.

a possessive and toxic asshole who knows how to make you needy with just a glance.

anyways as it does when anyone is in a friends with benefits relationship in the history of like forever, lines got blurred.

it started with little shit like bringing a plus one to a shitty college party that you knew she’d be at. you’d always deny it if anyone asks but you loved seeing that little glint she got in her eye when you were grinding back against someone in the middle of someone’s dingy kitchen, stepping on the occasional red solo cup.

you knew it made her jealous (if that’s the right word to use?) from the way your conversations went the next time you texted her, wanting to hook up.

‘you free tn?’

‘that bitch with the purple hair not fucking my girl well enough? come over.’

you loved when she called you her girl. it made your stomach erupt in butterflies and your mind swirl in silly ‘what ifs’.

that night when you did come over, ellie was different. not in a bad way by any means.

the way she had your ankle up by her ear as her purple strap pounded you into the mattress was nothing short of heavenly. she’d bend down to whisper in your ear, folding you like a fucking pretzel in the process. “she can’t fuck you like this, hmm?”

you would just moan, back arching into her at the new angle. you never had sex with that girl but if it kept you getting fucked like this? ellie never had to know that.

“answer my fucking question.” her hand would slap your thigh, leaving it burning before she’d soothe her hand over it.

“no- fuck,” you’d whimper, looking up at her with big glassy eyes. “just you els. no one can fuck me like you can.”

she’d be satisfied with that answer.

———

other times it’s the occasional late night facetime. you’d be up already, working on assignments because you’re never caught up.

“hey els. what’s up?” you’d speak into the phone, propping up your phone on your laptop so she could see you.

you looked a mess, messy bun, tank top hanging off of one shoulder and no bra. to ellie you were the prettiest like this— or alternatively when you had just cum and had that relaxed glow as she cleaned you both up.

“nothin, can’t sleep. wanted to call and see if you were awake too.”

your eyebrows furrow, “you always seem tired lately, you okay?”

“m’fine,” she’d laugh gently at your expression. “you worrying about me, sweet girl?”

“mm,” you hum. “just need to make sure my booty call is fully rested.”

it was your turn to laugh now at her faux shocked face. “jus kidding. you were my bestfriend before the whole sex thing of course i worry about you.”

ellie’s would swear her heart tried to jump out of her chest when you said that. “come over.”

“el, i have so much work to do before my class tomorrow.”

“bring it. no sex i promise, just me nd you like before. you can sleepover when you’re done.”

you didn’t need much convincing other than that, starting to pack your stuff into your backpack. ellie would make you stay on the phone as you walked the 3 minutes to her dorm room. she would ask if she could come pick you up instead, then you could walk back together but you denied so she had to settle for this.

———

your heart would clench painfully when she posted one of her usual photo dumps but somewhere buried in there’s a picture of her smiling with some girl kissing her cheek. she looked happy, and her cheeks were that pretty pink color. you would try and think if you ever made her smile like that.

unbeknownst to you, ellie threw that picture in just for you to see it. to throw out some feelers to see if you felt the same way as her, if you’d approach her about it. in reality that was just her friend dina, completely platonic relationship considering shes with her other friend, jesse.

what she didn’t expect was for you to ghost her for a week and a half to the point where she had to show up at your dorm. her eyes would be low and red, needing the courage in the form of weed.

when you opened the door, you’d kind of freeze, not expecting her to be on the other side.

“why are you ignoring me?”

you took notice of her high state, “you’re high.”

“no shit. i’m always high. why are you ignoring my texts?” she would step around you and into your dorm room.

“yes that’s fine, just come in.” you muttered under your breath. “i’m not ignoring you..i’m busy. you know how much i procrastinate. and you’re not always high. don’t say it like that.”

the truth was that you were scared, ridiculously so. after seeing the picture you started to wonder if ellie was out of your league, sure you’re bestfriends and sure you’re having sex but that’s it.

that lead to the realization that you wanted more. you wanted more than casual sex and the occasional hangout. you couldn’t tell her this though. being her bestfriend, you’ve seen the way she breaks hearts, you didn’t wanna be just another girl to her.

“so what? you’ve procrastinated all of your life and you’ve always atleast made the effort to tell me you’d be busy for the week so what the hell is it?”

“ellie.”

your name fell from her lips mockingly.

“can we just not? i don’t wanna talk about it.”

she sits down in your desk chair, turning it to face you and pulling you by the backs of your thighs between her legs. “did i do something?”

you look away, fearing that she may be able to look through your eyes and read your mind.

“look at me.” she’d move one of her hands from your thigh to turn your face back to her. the one hand she left on you felt as if it was burning through the material of your pants and making your stomach swirl. “you remember why you said our friendship has lasted so long? because we communicate. communicate with me, babe.”

you gazed into her attentive green eyes, gently biting on your bottom lip nervously as you debate on telling her the truth. you didn’t know if you were ready to lose your bestfriend to something as silly as catching feelings.

you go against the rationality your brain is screaming at you. “i think- i think i’m in love with you.”

your heart drops and your eyes start to well with tears when she doesn’t say anything and just kind of stares at you.

“i know— i know we said we wouldn’t catch feelings and i’m sorry.” your voice breaks. “i—“

you’re cut off by the feeling of ellie’s lips crashing onto yours. at first you’re shocked and kind of frozen in place but then you move, opening your mouth slightly for her tongue to slip in.

“you— you love me?” she asks, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

you nod gently, confused at what’s happening.

“i love you. and i can’t believe you fucking folded before i did.”

————

sidenote, this is so them. reader is blue and ellie is grey.

[sehodreams]

okay :)) so i have thoughts on each member of tall line in a trad relationship🤭🤭 and obvi this is all fictional and im making it a lil toxic here and there cuz im sick in the head but i’ll try to be chill😶

so i feel anton would be the most relaxed out of the 3. he wouldn’t expect you to do all that much for him while he’s away at work, but he does expect you to be ready for him when he gets home<333 and by that i mean of course u have a free use agreement and u should expect that every night after work he wants u to pleasure and take care of him<333 he loves if u suck him off obediently before he’s even undressed after work, tugging his slacks down and palming him through his boxers while he loosens his tie and shrugs his dress jacket off🤤🤤 he’d love u to take a bit of control by tugging on his shirt or tie to bring him in for a kiss after bringing him to completion with ur lips, crawling into his lap and grinding against him<333 but he’d quickly flip back to using you when he’s ready, flopping you onto your back on the mattress and (if ur good! eating u out<3 otherwise,) stripping you off ur panties and taking u in missionary, he might flip positions but he’s likely just going to fuck into ur cervix repeatedly until you cum once, twice, he’s going to fill you up with his cum multiple times until he’s tuckered out :( falling asleep with his fingers shoved inside ur poor abused cunt to keep his cum from leaking out :(((

eunseok overall would be soo sweet to u :) he’d always be caring and attentive enough to bring u home gifts most days, showering u with flowers n chocolates all the time even if for no special reason other than that u are his queen <33 in return he wild expect u to always have dinner ready though n be on top of household chores n laundry and all that .. so if u weren’t, he’d probably give u a warning the first time, the second time maybe folding you over his lap in ur bedroom to give you a round of spankings hoping that will teach u ur lesson :( and atp u still haven’t learned!! maybe he’d fuck you against the sliding door of ur sunroom for the whole neighbourhood to see how bad of a girl you’ve been :((

and i left sungchan for last cuz he’s always rotting my brain. he’d maybe be somewhere in between anton and eunseok, wanting to be taken care of some days and other days wanting to take care of u, whether that’s as a reward for u or as a punishment for ur behaviour :( on one hand, he could be mean and hold you down on his cock, not letting u move ur hips or anything, just letting you warm him while you babble n cry cuz u need more friction :(( telling u if u weren’t such a dumb slut then he wouldn’t have to do this to u :( you should’ve done the chores he asked u to and not fallen asleep in the middle of the day, silly girl :( or he’s eating u out and worshipping ur body, calling u the sweetest names because u are his princess and he would die for u :) would mark u up even though it’s not like u leave the house and anybody else ever gets to see u :( would buy u slutty little lingerie fits to wear all day n to think about him and get all needy and flustered to be ready for him when he gets home<333

Girl that was exactly what I needed 😭

With Anton I imagine more a trophy wife than anything. You don't even have to lift a single finger, he'd tell you to get help if you need it, and if not, he also leaves the option there. He wants you to be always fresh, because like you mentioned, he has a free use rule, and that's the only job he'd ever ask you to do in his (your) house.

With Eunseok I can't help but imagine a perfect wife. He likes to eat out, but there's nothing like your packed lunches, and he loves that when he gets home, he shows you his empty Tupperware and then goes down on you to say thanks. However, like you said, he expects you to do all the house chores, and if you don't, better get ready for punishment. He loves to shower you with gifts when you're good, and he loves to punish you when you're not. There's simply something so satisfying in seeing you beg for his forgiveness, all blushing and tearing because the punishment he chooses is dirtier and dirtier every time.

Sungchan is a mix of the other two. He's sweet, telling you to not overwork yourself and get some help, but also telling you to iron and choose his clothes every morning before work. Oh, and you better don't forget his herbs and smoothie for breakfast!

I believe that with him, it also depends a lot on how his day's been. Anton, even if it's been a bad day, arrives home and finds immediate comfort with your presence. Eunseok, when he's had the worst day, only has to tell you that he really wants to get home for you to have his bath ready, his dinner on the table and an apron over your body with nothing inside. Sungchan, on the other hand, needs to take that bitterness out, making you feel his stress with each thrust and forced orgasm, punishing you even if you've done nothing wrong or you've been sweeter than normal with him.

God, I really want to be their stay home wife and forget about everything else in the world.

[juvnvalen]

Hi there! If you're up for it, may I ask for Lilya x Fem!reader, in which Lilya has to keep reader as quite as she can as she fucks her in an secluded area, so Lilya's colleagues don't see them? It seems pretty basic but I hope you can do it, I'll love to see your own twists to it! But if not, thank you either way. Have a nice day! <333

This most definitely happened in the suitcase and absolutely everyone could hear them. Not proofread at all find any errors feel free to lmk. ALSO has any played PTN is I'm trying to figure out if it's worth investing in. Pairing: Lilya x Fem Reader (FxF) TW: NSFW, Public sex?, and ooc Lilya.

“Hah~ Lilya-!”

Your voice was silenced by a hand pressing against your mouth, you peered up with lust dazed eyes at Lilya’s cocky expression. “Tsk tsk pet, quiet down~.”

Lilya kicked up her pace a little, her deft fingers shifting in and out of you at an unbearable pace. Your squeals and whimpers were only silenced slightly but her palm.

You bucked your hip against her hand, desperately seeking your peak with the assistance of your enthusiastic partner. You tried to warn her of your upcoming orgasm, but your voice still failed to pass through the cover of her hand.

Just as you were about to find your release Lilya withdrew her fingers, you let out a pitiful whine in response looking at her with pleading eyes. She pulled her hand away from your mouth, and before you could say anything she shoved her fingers past your lips.

“Be a good girl, suck.” You obediently followed her directions, shyly gazing back at her as she watched you with an unblinking stare, firmly holding eye contact.

After she was pleased with your work she withdrew her fingers, giving you a soft pat on the cheek as she did so. “Lilya, please!” Your voice was high and desperate, your hands reaching up to grip on Lilya’s shoulders.

“Hush, you want to be caught? Keep it down or you won’t cum at all, understand?” You immediately nodded, staring at her with pleading eyes.

She seemed happy with the response, lowering herself between your legs and shoving them apart carelessly. “Rember, keep your voice down sweet thing.”

Lilya lowered her head down, running her tongue along your inner thigh eliciting a high keen from you. She continued leaving soft bits and kisses along your thigh, leaving marks in her trial. Your hands found her head, attempting to shove her closer to where you needed, of course she didn’t follow your unwanted directions instead continuing with her teasing.

“Lilya, cut it out.” You snapped, trying to keep your voice quiet. She glanced up at you, giving you a sleazy smile in response.

Lilya’s mouth quickly returned, this time right where you needed her to be. She ran her tongue through your folds teasingly, her pace was slow and unhurried as she lapped at your needy cunt.

You quickly covered your mouth with your hands, your muffle moans could still be faintly heard even though your hands. Lilya’s pace didn’t quite suit your needs and you pushed your hips forward to meet her tongue. A squeak of surprise escaped past your palm when she roughly shoved her fingers in, hurrying up her pace. With her mouth greedily nursing at your clit and fingers wildly thrusting in and out, your brain couldn’t keep up with her pace leaving you a drooling mess.

Your fingers found their way into her hair, tugging at the strands needily. You struggled to keep your noises down, pressing your eyelids shut tightly as you rocked your against her face.

“Fast please, Lilya!” You squealed, your voice breaking as you struggled to keep it down. Lilya’s pace slowed in reply to your plea, and you let out a desperate cry as she slowed a little.

“I promise to be so good, please! I need you so bad!” Your voice was unrestrained and loud, too consumed by your lust to care about being caught, Lilya couldn’t say the same.

She raised up to meet you, her fingers remaining in place, but now their movements had stalled. “I said quiet, can’t keep your voice down then you don’t deserve to cum. You hear?” You hurriedly nodded, tears forming in your eyes as you let out a desperate grunt.

Lilya seemed satisfied, returning back to your cunt, now at the pace you’d begged her for previously. You threw your head back against the wall, haphazardly covering your mouth with sweaty palms to stop your desperate cries.

Desperately you forced your lower half forward, desperate to take anything Lilya was willing to give you. She reached up, with the hand she wasn’t using to thrust in and out of your hole, to roughly grope your thigh.

Her mouth met your thrusting hips eagerly, Lilya was happy to meet your pace, her deft tongue reaching right where you needed it. You felt your stomach squirm from the overwhelming pleasure, tears pricking in your eyes as the stimulation grew too much for you.

You threw your arms back, your hands desperately grabbing onto anything they could find purchase to. “Lilya- So close..” You squeaked out, almost impressed by your own ability to keep your voice down.

You could feel the pressure building up inside, your breathing was heavy and quick as you struggled to keep the noises that threatened to escape down.

After Lilya’s next few thrusts you felt yourself reach your peak, you let out a loud cry as you came. Lilya’s pace had slowed as she allowed you to ride out your orgasm.

You felt yourself beginning to come down from the pleasure, Lilya hadn’t removed her hand yet but her movements had stalled. Both of you sat in silence, only the sound of you and her breathing disturbing the quiet.

After a long moment she rose up to meet your gaze, pulling her fingers free from your cunt. She planted a kiss on your jaw, a confident smirk on her face. She wrapped her arms around your body, nuzzling her face into your neck. “You did so well keeping quiet, pretty girl.” She whispered, her breath tickling your neck.

“I love you sweetheart.” She pulled away from your neck to stare back at you expectantly, you couldn’t help the giggled that bubbled past your lips. “I love you too!” Lilya was overjoyed with the response, nuzzling her face into your cheek.

“So, round two?” ♡♡

[lin-lll]

Hi yes, as Ethan's auntie 💅💅 I am dying to know about him (story, height, age, anything you wanna share)

And also don't forget to hydrate and eat well 💖

Hi! I’m glad you asked<333

So he was born in 33BBY and he’s 1.9 meters tall, his eye color/representative color is klein blue💙

I often refer to him as a Maine Coon because he's big and so clingy and has the personality of a dog but is a cat🐈‍⬛🐾

——————————

Well, about his story, I tried to consolidate in a clueless bunch of chats I had with a friend of mine, and I hope it doesn't look too ridiculous💦

So basically he became Eno Cordova's apprentice (after Cere Junda) when he was about twelve years old and then, we all know what happened after that-Order 66-Ethan was hidden by his master in Bogano so he survived, and then for the next five years Ethan lived on his own in Bogano.

Thanks to BD-1’s company, he was able to survive until Cal Kestis came to Bogano and found him at 14BBY.

——————————

Ethan's first impression is that he's confident and poised, but once you get to know him well, you’ll realize he's actually a childish and boisterous person.

He's also very curious and likes to act cute around people - maybe it's his master's fault for spoiling him so much, considering Master Cordova's own curiosity is also very strong🙂‍↕️ Also resembling his master, Ethan is always gentle and smiling but can be intimidating when necessary, seemingly unreliable but with everything in his plan.

——————————

His mental condition wasn't very good for those five years, lets just say that living in isolation was too fatal for such a kid who needed emotional interaction so much, plus he had studied too much ancient history with his master and seen too many civilizations fall and rise so he was actually a bit of a nihilist(?) at the time, he was forced to live with the chaotic thoughts in his head causing him to become very paranoid for a time, for a while he was almost like a wild animal.

During a battle with a Bog Rat Ethan had to chop off his padawan braid to prevent the situation from getting worse (unfortunately it bit his padawan braid) , at that point he had a complete mental breakdown but at the same time finally realized that he couldn't go on like this, so Ethan finally decided to put himself back together and start trying to live the Jedi way again, even if in the end he might just die alone in Bogano. (He also has a claw mark on his back left by a Bog Rat, okay our boy really hates that creature🥲)

These five years of isolation have left him with some separation anxiety and possessive/controlling of those around him (although he hides it well)

Ethan is the type of person who expresses love directly to those around him and he enjoys physical contact.

Although Ethan always encourages those around him to express themselves, he prefers to work through his trauma on his own.(Similar to wild animals hiding their injuries for fear of being taken as prey)

——————————

So don't blame him for falling in love at first sight with Cal Kestis after five years of total isolation, plus the redheaded Jedi and him had similar experiences, were of similar ages, and were cute as hell😭💘

(Well, Ethan tried to convince himself that it was just an imprinting effect, but no, it didn't work, and every day afterward he found himself falling deeper in love)

——————————

Though it wasn't for long, Ethan developed a deep bond with his master, during those five years Ethan would often clutch his padawan braid and watch the holographic recordings left by Master Cordova over and over again, a habit he kept after he followed Cal to join the Mantis Crew, and you can occasionally see Ethan making a gesture with his hand to hold his no-longer-existent padawan braid when he in a daze or in thought.

——————————

That's all I can think of at the moment, I hope I didn't talk too much💦💦💦

(Sorry if some of my words are weird because I used a translator)

Thank you again for asking me about Ethan, and feel free to ask me more about him anytime 💕💕💕

Hope you have a good day!🥰🫶

[nat-seal-well]

1, 2 / 16, 17 for Nat x Marin, my beloveds for the couples ask, please! 🥰 (~agentnatesewell)

Hi, Mar!! Thank you so much for this ask! Honestly it means the world to me that you like them, hehe. Suri and Nate will always be one of my top favorite couples <333

(Questions from this post.)

1: What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character?

Marin first noticed how tall Nat was, haha, Which might seem silly, but they immediately latched onto her height! Especially with how much taller she is than the rest of UB, and how crowded they all were in Marin's tiny office. It was impossible for them to think about anything else. She loomed over all the others and then stepped in as smooth as butter, and it was all downhill from there. Even they weren't immune to her suave nature and her towering height.

As much as she knows her team pushed their buttons, Nat liked it when Marin snapped at Ava in the beginning, haha. They tried very hard for a long time to get along with UB before the truth was out, even though it was far from easy. Nat knows how hard it can be to work with her little family, especially when the true reason for them being there couldn't be divulged, and she tried her best to play peacekeeper. But she still liked getting to see Marin slip a little and bite back. It was fun watching them show something other than the pleasant personality they had to put on for their job.

2: Does this change over time? What things do they find "hot" about their partner after they'd been together for some time, and have had more time to, well, notice and appreciate?

This has changed for both of them! Marin still loves Nat's height, but now that they share a life together, there's a lot more they've come to notice. One of their favorite things in particular is watching her when she's lost in her research. They'll sit there right next to her for hours while she buries herself in her books, and they try really hard not to openly stare at the way she presses her pen against her bottom lip when she's reading. (Nat's completely aware of it the entire time, haha.) Marin also has a thing for Nat's fangs, as much as she hides them--sometimes, if they're lucky, Nat will forget herself in her reading, and they'll catch just a glimpse. Nat isn't aware of that part, though.

Nat still likes Marin's temper, as rare as it is for them to get truly angry and heated. But she also likes their body. Physically, the two of them are about as opposite as you can get, and she likes that about them. They're shorter than she is, and they're bigger, but most of the time it's hidden under baggy jeans and sweaters that are at least a size too large. Occasions where they wear anything that actually fits are rare... or at least, they used to be. Hence why she likes it so much when they start wearing their new Agency uniform more and more often--even if she hates that training is currently taking up so much of their time every day!

16: If they had the ability to just spend free time with their partner, what would they do? Would they go out, or stay inside?

In general, both of them like to stay inside. Marin likes the ocean, but that's something they enjoy when they're alone. On days when the weather is good and they both feel up to it, sometimes they'll walk into town together to go to lunch or visit the bookstore, but it's a rare occasion. Most of the time, they like to curl up together in the library. They're both so busy that their schedules rarely line up, even before Marin gave up their job as a detective, and they prefer to just make up for lost time whenever they get the chance. Usually it means they read together for a few hours <3

17: Under what circumstances would they want to be left alone by their partner?

The most common one is right after an argument, which probably isn't much of a surprise, haha. Marin always needs a little time to cool off, and Nat needs to be able to gather her thoughts and sort through her emotions. It never goes on for very long; Nat doesn't like things remaining unresolved, and Marin is quick to let go of their anger. The only exceptions are when Nat's overprotectiveness gets the better of her, or when Marin is too careless with their safety during a mission. Those fights always last longer, much to the displeasure of the rest of UB.

Sometimes they need to be alone even when they aren't fighting! After long days and tough jobs, sometimes they both just need to decompress. Especially if a mission involves several days spent away from home. It wears on them both. Marin likes to submerge themself in the bathtub for a while, and Nat will listen to her favorite classical music while she pages through an old, favorite book of hers. They both reconvene later on that night. Sometimes you just need a little solitude, even from the person you love most.

[labellefleur-sauvage]

hello! i hope you're doing well and i just wanted to say that i love all of your work! you have such a beautiful way with words and insane talent <333

i was also wondering whether you'd be up for writing something torturously heartbreaking for nessian??? i know it would never happen bc they're obsessed with each other and there would never be anyone else but i think a cheating thing would be interesting to read 😭 like if cassian cheats? or then (although they are going to live ETERNALLY TOGETHER), maybe something where one of them dies? like cassian's reaction to nesta's death or vice versa?

much love to you!!! 🩷🩷🩷

This is so so kind, thank you so much!

I will be the first to admit: I am a huge wimp. A big baby. I cannot handle too much angst or sadness in books, fics, any media, frankly. At this time, I don’t see myself writing anything angsty or toxic for any couple, unless there was some massive twist or misunderstanding involved.

BUT I fully understand most people don’t feel the same as me and want those angsty, toxic feels. I asked some of my Nessian friends for fic recs and this is what they gave me!

Can’t Help It by @moodymelanist. Honestly, her entire Nessian catalog is impressive and wonderful so here’s her entire Nessian masterlist. Also worth mentioning Paint It Red, especially if you’re in the mood for major character death.

Daughterofthesea on AO3 has some soft and angsty fics.

Also on AO3, theteaqueen is also very good for Nessian angst

Wonderland by @c-e-d-dreamer in which Nesta breaks the mating bond with Cassian

Somewhere by @thewayshedreamed for an ongoing toxic Modern AU

Finally, It Looks as Though You’re Letting Go by @xtaketwox. An ongoing soulmates AU fic tagged as “you’re going to suffer but you’re going to be happy about it” on AO3.

If I missed anyone or anyone else has fic recommendations or wants to shout out their own works, please feel free to comment and reblog!

[atlabeth]

turn back the clock - rafe cameron

summary: your boyfriend breaks up with you days before your best friend's wedding. you're dreading having to face it alone, but when some behind-the-scenes tampering by the bride brings you back into contact with your high school crush, more comes to light than you could've ever imagined.

a/n: thank you to ri for helping me decide which current wip to finish and this post i saw on ig for inspiring it in the first place. i love second chance romance so much and the obx3 trailer made me wanna start writing for rafe again so here we are lmao.

this has been in google drive hell since august and i finished the rest of it all in one go at midnight when i was supposed to be doing homework. so i hope you enjoy

wc: 4.2k

warning(s): small bit of angst at the beginning but basically all fluff, like toothrotting. also reader was a college track athlete but nothing else about her is described

(no i will not stop using this gif of him in the blue suit<333)

You didn’t really wanna have to make this call. Instead, you just wanted to stew in your own misery, watch some sappy rom-coms that make you feel even worse about what happened, and maybe go out and buy a couple pints of ice cream. 

But the day wasn’t supposed to be about you. And you owed it to Elizabeth to at least explain why you might be in a vaguely shitty mood at her wedding.

Honestly, though—you should have expected this. 

“He what?” 

“Liz—” you started, but you knew once she got going there was no bringing her down until she was done. 

“He broke up with you?” 

“Yes,” you said, and you clenched your free hand in a fist to keep from choking up. He didn’t deserve any of your time, you knew that, but that didn’t mean you weren’t hurting. It didn’t mean tears didn’t well up every time you thought about him. “He just sprung it on me out of nowhere last night. I thought we were doing pretty well, but,” you let out a watery laugh, “I guess not.” 

“I can’t believe him,” she seethed. “I told you not to trust guys with J names, and Jason is like, the biggest offender! I told you the moment we met him at that frat party he was bad news—” 

“You don’t need to go on a rant!” you interrupted with a laugh. “I already know how much of a jerk he is— well, I might’ve just had my eyes opened to it, but I know. I just wanted to tell you that I’m… going through some stuff, I guess, in case I seem off during all the planning. But that’s all—you have to promise me that none of the focus is gonna be on me, because this is your day.” 

“...Okay,” she said after some hesitation, “but you can still rant to me whenever you want. Just because you’re one of my bridesmaids doesn’t mean all you have to talk about is the wedding.” 

“How can I not talk about the wedding all the time?” you exclaimed. “Lizzie, I’ve been involved in so much of the process with you that it’s basically all I can think about. This is the most excited I’ve been for anything ever.” 

“Didn’t your brother get married last year?” she said. 

“You know what I mean,” you chuckled. “I just can’t believe you’re getting married, and to Nate, too. It feels like it was just yesterday that you were telling me about the cute boy in your trig class, and six years later and you’re marrying him in a week.” 

You could hear the smile in your words. “It really does feel like yesterday, huh? I remember going on and on about how much I liked him after that group project we got stuck together for—y’know, your encouragement was the only reason I ended up asking him out.” 

“Then I’m glad I kept bothering you,” you said with a smile of your own. “You guys are so great together.” 

“I just wish you would’ve taken my—” Liz suddenly stopped talking on the other end, and you frowned a bit. 

“What?” 

“...Nothing,” she said very suspiciously after a pause. “I, uh— I just remembered there’s something I need to do. Wedding related. I’ll talk to you later?” 

“Yeah—” you said, but she had already hung up. You chuckled and shook your head as you set your phone down. 

You didn’t really know what that was about, but you were looking forward to the wedding—it didn’t matter that you were suddenly single. 

You and Liz had been best friends since you were put next to each other in the seating chart in sixth grade science—and even though she went to NC A&T and you were all the way at San Diego State, you talked basically every day for all four years of college. Sometimes you even made the flights to see each other, and it was worth every single dollar. 

It made you feel a lot better, knowing she had your back (and knowing that she had likely already blacklisted Jason from the guestlist made you feel pretty good too). 

What you didn’t know, though, was that what she was doing at that moment would make the wedding night a whole lot more interesting for you. 

And it all had to do with one Rafe Cameron from high school. 

-

The air was thick with a thousand different perfumes and the stiffness of hairspray along with a whole lot of anxiety as a result of the eight bridesmaids who inhabited the room trying to make sure they looked their best before the procession started in T-10 minutes. 

You were, of course, stressed as well. It was like everything that was fine for the months leading up to the wedding had suddenly decided to go wrong just to spite you. You’d forgotten to take a tag off of your dress and it was digging into a very particular spot of your back, your hair was not cooperating—Ariel and India and Natasha might have said that you looked beautiful, but it was just not working with you—and you were about to run out of your favorite mascara. All small things, but they were beginning to add up. 

And to add to your stress, your phone started to go off. When you opened it, you saw it was a text from Lizzie. 

girl I am so sorry to ask you this I know we’re so close to the start 

but Ayana just told me that she left my bouquet on the table in the sideroom of room 139, she forgot to take them out of the vase! 

sisters aren’t even on top of things when they’re your maid of honor apparently 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 

you’re the closest to the room and the only other person I can trust rn because Im going slightly wedding crazy, can you please get it??? I will love you more than my future husband and you will have my eternal gratitude 

using my track past against me i see 

you are pushing it babe 

I know 

help me obi-wan kenobi you’re my only hope 

lol 

dw I got this 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

You are my savior and all your drinks are on me next time we go out 

You sighed and shook your head, slipping your heels off in favor of the flats you came here in. The last thing you needed was to break an ankle before the procession. 

“I’ll be back!” you announced to the rest of the bridesmaids—though you weren’t sure any of them heard you in the havoc—before you ran out of the room. You were thankful this dress had a slit. 

It took a minute for you to get there, makeup and hair still intact, but when you did you didn’t see a vase. You huffed a sigh and got to work going through everything. The actual last thing you needed was for Liz to not have her bouquet as she walked down the aisle. 

“Oh— I’m so sorry, I didn’t even know there was another person in here.” 

You turned around from your crouched spot on the floor at the voice, and you nearly toppled over when you saw who it was. 

“Rafe?” you marveled. Though it was posed as a question, there was no doubt about it. You’d only thought about him basically every day for all of high school. 

He said your name with the same surprise, his eyes widening slightly at the same time as he stared at you for a moment too long. You swore his eyes went up and down, a slight pink tinge on his cheeks, when he blinked and shook his head. A wide smile spread across his lips in its place, and it did the same sort of thing to you that it did in high school. You weren’t immune to a Rafe Cameron grin as a freshman, and apparently you weren’t as a college graduate either. “What are you doing here?” 

“Trying to find Lizzie’s bouquet ten minutes before the wedding,” you said with a slight laugh. “What are you doing here?” 

“Uh, Topper left his pocket square in here, apparently,” he said. “We drove here together, and he’s the best man so he’s scrambling all over the place, and—” Rafe paused and he breathed a laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners in the same way they did in high school. “You get the idea.” 

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded, and a smile pulled at the corners of your lips. “I had no idea you were gonna be at the wedding. I—” you chuckled and shook your head. “I guess I forgot that you and Nate went to UNC together.” 

“Yeah.” Rafe laughed again, though it was a bit nervous as he ran a hand through his hair, stuffing his other hand in his pocket. “It’s uh— it’s been forever since I’ve seen you, though. What, the last time we actually had a conversation was—” 

“That one party at UNC,” you supplied, and you stood up, leaning against the countertop. “The one that Liz dragged me to when I came to visit her for spring break sophomore year. We saw each other there.” 

“...Yeah,” Rafe repeated, and his smile softened. “Yeah, it was then. I didn’t know you remembered that.” 

“‘Course I did,” you said. “I mean, the last time before that was the huge party you, Kelce, and Topper all threw in the last week of summer. Before we all went our separate ways.” 

“Oh, that was…” he laughed as he bowed his head a bit. “That was something. Uh, it should be a rule pre-college boys should not be allowed to be around that much alcohol without supervision. I’m surprised no one died that night.” 

You grinned as the memory of it all came back. It was hard to believe that it was one of the last times you saw Rafe. That it was the last time you saw Rafe for two whole years, and the next time you got even the slightest glimpse of him was a minute long conversation with your very drunk self before you were dragged out by your one sober friend. 

Seeing Rafe was the only thing you remembered from that night.

“I can’t believe it’s been so long,” you said, your voice a bit softer. “College really did something to us, huh?” 

“Yeah,” he said, and his smile faded the slightest bit. “Being on separate coasts’ll do that to you.” 

Your expression softened, and you were about to say something when your phone buzzed in your hand. Panic jolted through you for just a moment before you read what the texts said. 

just kidding lol. It turns out that Alicia got the flowers when she was picking up the drinks from there for the reception

crisis averted!! 

I’ll still cover your drinks though since I prob gave you a mini heart attack and Im very sorry about that 

“Huh,” you said, and you glanced back up at Rafe. “Looks like I was sent on a mission for flowers that weren’t even here.” 

“Elizabeth’s probably all over the place,” he said. “I mean, I’ve been kinda stressed out and I’m not even part of the wedding party. Bridal nerves have gotta be a lot worse.” But then Rafe paused and took his phone out of his pocket, and his brow creased. 

“What’s got you lookin’ like that?” you asked. 

“Huh,” he said. “Topper actually just had his pocket square in his… other pocket. So I guess I was here for nothing then, too.” 

A laugh bubbled out at that. “We’ve got some very organized friends today, huh?” 

“Seems so,” he agreed with a smile. “But I’m glad he misplaced it.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Rafe nodded, and he shrugged. “I got to see you.” 

You felt the heat rush to your cheeks at an astronomical rate, and you had never been more thankful for your phone to buzz. 

But seriously you gotta finish getting ready we have like five minutes left before the organ starts playing 

liz if this was not your day i would be so mad at you

please. you can never be mad at me 

“I gotta go before I single handedly ruin this whole procession,” you joked, and you went past the entrance and Rafe. But just as you got a few steps away, you turned around and smiled. “I’m also glad that Liz sent me here.” 

Rafe chuckled, smiling inwardly as you hurried away. You didn’t know it, but his eyes didn’t leave you for a second. 

-

The wedding ceremony went fabulously. 

You got back in time and finished getting ready—for some reason, you felt a lot more confident in your appearance—and walked down the aisle arm in arm with a very lovely groomsman before taking your place at the front of the bridesmaid line. 

You cried. A lot. 

When you saw Liz walking down the aisle, when you looked up at Nate and saw the way he gazed at her with all the stars in his eyes, when her father gave her away, when they said their vows, when they kissed, when they walked off—you were a mess basically the entire time. Thank god for waterproof mascara. 

And then when you sat with the bridesmaids for the Liz and Nate's first dance and the parent dances, you cried again. And when Ayana gave her Maid of Honor speech and Topper gave his Best Man speech—you were like a waterfall. A complete mess, but a very happy one at that. 

But you managed to stop by the bathroom and fix yourself up in record time before you all went off to your normal seating charts, and god, you had never been more glad to have done so when you walked in and saw who was at your table. 

Liz either knew everything or nothing, because this... this was really something. 

“So we meet again,” Rafe said, another easy smile appearing as he turned to look at you. “Looks like this wedding is trying to make up for all the years we missed.” 

You chuckled and took your seat next to him. “Guess so. It’s not an easy feat, though.” 

“Six years was a long time,” he said. 

“Didn’t really help that my parents sold our house in the OBX after I graduated,” you said dryly. “I missed all those Rafe Cameron summers during college.” 

“‘Rafe Cameron summer’?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. “Didn’t realize there was a word for it.” 

“What can I say?” you shrugged. “I graduated with an English minor. It allows me to make up phrases whenever I want.” 

“Ah,” he said, nodding sagely. “I guess my… finance concentration means I control the stock market?” 

You laughed and shook your head. “You’re ridiculous. It obviously means you’re the head of the treasury. Keep up, Rafe.” 

“My bad.” He held up his hands with mock austerity. “Our time apart is the reason for such a ridiculous mistake.” 

You smiled, but it sobered a bit and you bit your lip. “On a serious note,” you said, “I’m… I’m really sorry.” 

Rafe frowned. “For what?” 

“For that time apart,” you said. “I came back to North Carolina more than a few times to visit Liz and some other friends, but I never came to see you. We were— we were good friends, Rafe, and I shouldn’t have just disappeared on you like that all because I was at a different college.” 

Somehow, his brow furrowed even deeper. “What? You can’t possibly be blaming yourself for this—people grow apart in distance. That… that just happened to us. I mean, you were in California and I was in Chapel Hill. That’s crazy distance.” 

“I still came back, though,” you said. “Just… never for you.” 

“...I didn’t expect you to,” Rafe said, looking right in your eyes. “No matter how much…” 

“What?” you asked after he trailed off. 

Rafe sighed, then shook his head, trying to clear his mind before he looked back at you. “Do you wanna dance?” 

“What?” you repeated, mostly because you couldn’t believe it. 

“Dance with me.” He stood up and offered a hand, passing a glance at the dance floor. All of the official dances had been done already so it was open to anybody, including you and your high school crush. 

“Okay,” you said with an almost breathless laugh, and you really felt like your freshman self again the way butterflies fluttered in your chest as you took his hand and walked over to an open spot. 

You and Rafe fell into an easy rhythm, like you’d been doing this all your lives, and it didn’t take too long for your conversation to follow. 

“So what did you get up to in all those years at SD State?” he asked. “All I really know about your college career is what I’ve gotten from Instagram and your parents’ Facebooks.” 

You laughed a bit. “Regular college stuff, I guess. I did track all four years and I won some awards, which was pretty cool. Went to a lot of parties, got drunk a lot, swore off drinking a lot, studied until I thought my eyes were going to fall out, then graduated with a chemistry degree. I’ve been working as a technician in a lab for the company I interned with for the past two years.” 

Rafe whistled. “‘Regular college stuff’, she says, as she describes an insane balancing act between student athlete life, partying, and schoolwork, and still being able to graduate with a STEM degree.” 

“You’re such a flatterer,” you admonished, but there was no real bite in your words. “That’s one thing that’s never changed.” 

“It’s easy to flatter a woman like you,” he said. “I mean, you’re out there changing the world. I feel like I’m not even worthy to stand in your presence.” 

You chuckled as Rafe spun you, and as your hands joined once again you offered a coy smile. 

“You know,” you said, feeling a surge of confidence with his words, “I had the biggest crush on you in high school.” 

Rafe’s eyes widened slightly, but he covered it up with a well placed smile of his own. “Really?” he marveled, and he said your first and last name, “you had a crush on me?” 

“Yep,” you nodded. “And she had it bad. If freshman year me could see this, she would be losing her mind.” 

Rafe laughed, and it spurned butterflies in your chest yet again—they were the same kind you’d felt whenever you talked to him back then, trying to catch whatever moments you could between your busy schedule and his own responsibilities. You were too scared to admit your feelings, but you enjoyed spending time with him nonetheless. 

If there was one thing this was proving, though, it was that your feelings definitely weren’t as settled as you thought. 

“Well, you know,” he said thoughtfully, echoing your previous words as he brought you back to the present, “I had a pretty big crush on you in high school too.” 

That completely threw you off your rhythm. So much so that you stumbled, totally missing your next steps—if it weren’t for Rafe catching you, you would’ve face planted. 

“Are you good?” Rafe asked, concerned. 

“You had a crush on me?” you asked instead. 

He laughed again and ran a hand through his hair before you fell back into your rhythm together—he had let it grow out some, you realized, and it looked infinitely better all ruffled and mussed up than styled. 

“Yeah,” he said. His smile wasn’t as confident as it always was, a boyish charm mingling with unusual shyness. “It, uh— it kinda snuck up on me. I didn’t really know how big of a crush it was until I was at your signing ceremony. Like, right after you signed the contract was when I realized I had it bad.” 

“My signing ceremony?” you marveled, and you shook your head in disbelief. “You really have great timing, Rafe. Couldn’t have realized a couple years earlier when we were still in the same place?” 

Rafe laughed softly. “Yeah. I really do. But I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to make it harder for you. I mean, I was staying in the OBX for Chapel Hill, and you were taking the opportunity of a lifetime to run track in San Diego. I wasn’t gonna take your mind off of that because some hometown guy had a crush on you.”

“Some hometown guy,” you repeated, and it was your turn to laugh. “You thought that little of yourself?” 

“It’s true,” he shrugged. “I was just a friend that fell for you. I mean,” he gave you a crooked smile, “not that it was hard to fall for you. Pretty sure I was one of ten guys who wanted to ask you to prom senior year.” 

“Okay, that is not true at all,” you said, but you were stumbling over yourself just as quickly. He wanted to ask you to prom senior year? When the one thing that you thought about whenever you looked at him that spring was dancing with him at prom? “Grant Millwood was the only one that asked me.”

Rafe nodded with a laugh. “That was because he threatened everyone that he knew had a crush on you to make sure he would get to go with you.”

“And then he ditched me halfway through the night because he got too drunk to function off the alcohol he smuggled in himself,” you said dryly. “Yeah, he was a great date.”

“High school was the best,” Rafe said with mock austerity, “wasn’t it?”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded. “I miss the kook academy every single day.”

“I still can’t believe you wanted to ask me to prom senior year,” you said, shaking your head. “Rafe, how did I not even know? Why didn’t you do it?” 

“And let you miss your chance with Grant Millwood?” Rafe over exaggerated his scoff. “Please.” 

A laugh spilled out as a smile shone through. “You would’ve saved high school me a lot of angst if you told her you had a crush on her, y’know. Then I wouldn’t have had to spend four years pining in high school.” And four more in college, and two more postgrad. 

(God, you wish he had told you sooner. You would’ve blown all of your money on tickets to North Carolina if you had even the slightest inkling your eternal feelings weren’t eternally hopeless.) 

“Goes both ways,” he said, tacking on your last name. “Why didn’t you tell me how bad you had it?” 

“Because I thought that there was no chance in Hell that Rafe Cameron would ever share my feelings?” you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Come on, Rafe—you know who you are, who you were. You say a couple guys wanted to ask me to prom—every girl wanted to date you. I didn’t stand a chance.” 

“And yet you did,” Rafe said with a slight chuckle. He shook his head. “Y’know, if I could turn back the clock, I would’ve done so many things differently.” Rafe smiled boyishly. “I would’ve mustered the nerve to ask you to prom before Grant even got the chance. And I definitely would’ve asked you out instead of liking you in private.” 

You smiled and shrugged. He liked you then when you thought there was no chance—why not now, when you also thought there was no chance? 

“Who says you have to turn back the clock?” 

Rafe’s own grin grew immediately, and he pulled you off to the side of the dance floor. He held your hands in his own, the cool metal of his signet ring at odds with the rough calluses on his palms brushing against your skin. 

He said your name with such earnesty you felt like you could melt, and when you gazed into his eyes, you nearly did. “I think you are the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in every single way. I can’t believe that it took me meeting you by chance at a wedding for me to do this, but I’d like to fix a mistake I made five years ago by never doing this. Can I take you on a date?” 

“Rafe Cameron,” you said, and it was a physical effort to contain the joy nearly bursting out of you, “I would love that more than anything.” 

He grinned. “Great.” 

And then he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you in for the best kiss of your life, one that you immediately fell into with all the vigor of six years spent longing. 

When he pulled away, leaving you completely breathless with widened eyes and bruised lips, his sultry whisper nearly took you out. 

“I’ve been wanting to do that for years.” 

You only had eyes for Rafe as you pulled him back into a heated kiss, pulling him by the cuffs of his baby blue suit. The only thing that got you away from him was the need for air.

"Me too," you murmured.

(And in the background, you were far too dazed to hear Liz’s victorious cheer.)

-

perm tags: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77 @simonsbluee @kwyloz @masteroperator @louderfortheback 

obx tags: @milkiane @lilgoddesshines @sexytholland

rafe tags: @lurkymurker