#temu shopping

[facts-i-just-made-up]

The Downfall of Temu, 1817-2025

Though Temu is best known today as a place to pay low prices for inaccurately represented goods, it was not always so. When it was founded by Oscar "Temu" Temunsson in 1817, it was made to be an auction house for the finest goods like Southernby's or Christianne's.

The downfall began nearly as soon as Temu went online, with "online" in 1817 referring to it being a building on London's wealthy "King's Line" road near Westminster. Buyers were always satisfied with Temu's guarantee, which was included in The Guarantee of Guarantee, signed in Guarantee, London- The first official Guarantee ever to be guaranteed.

But then in 1819, the Cracks began to show. James and Lynda Crack were infamous in the Americas for showing merchandise that did not in the end reflect what the customer would buy. As such, they were banished from the United States, a young country at that time known as "Some States That Don't Yet Hate Each Other." Arriving in London, they forged papers to begin selling at Temu.

The damage to Temu's reputation was bad, but not fatal. Temunsson himself tried to repair the house's image by selling several notorious items, including the world's largest Yorkshire Pudding (At 870 Pounds), the most adopted dog (At 19 Pounds), and the most flattened Matzo ever smashed flat by numerous strikes with a mallet (At 3300 Pounds), all of which sold for over ten thousand pounds sterling. The company lasted as a respectable entity well into the 1900s as a result.

In 1949 though, another blow was blown to Temu, and boy how it blew. Hurricane Pholacio made landfall on the beaches of London and ruined the prized collection of Candy Floss (Known as "Gummy Bear" in Modern English) sculptures that Temu had on display. No insurer would take the job, as you have to get insurers before the disaster happens, and Temu had to sell its physical location to make ends meet.

Disembodied, Temu began to haunt other stores and manufacturers, sucking on their revenues and leaving them desiccated. So it lurked, weakened, for decades until Etsy came along. Etsy was, in past times, a resource where artists could sell their wares. Unfortunately, Temu drop(shipped) upon it and sucked it dry of any chance for legitimate creators to thrive. Temu grew more and more powerful until it became the economic disaster (or "Nosferatemu") it is today.

Oddly enough, Oscar "Temu" Temunsson seems to have predicted this even when he said on his death bed in 1891, "Temu is gonna suck so fuckin' bad in the 2020s with dropshipping and all." He then exploded into confetti, as was the gentlemanly tradition at the time.

[victusinveritas]

[j4ckme]

[a-meh]

[certified-silly-guy]

Reminder that you cannot be punk if you are conservative or shop from drop shipping websites like shein, temu, etc <3

[k0nsa]

Manifesting temu collapses and goes bankrupt in a lawsuit, and a better, more ethical app gets created ( ´;ﾟ;∀;ﾟ;)

[sage-thee-herbmaster]

Temu got me acting UP

[substaffyuri]

i have been losing my shit over these regretevator knock off plushies on temu feat. dandy's world and bfdi

[kellelkallel]

My friend is getting me 80 Alien Stage stickers for Christmas (they're off Temu)(they're three dollars)(I love her)

[musings-n-museums]

don't you want it?

the rise of american consumerism, article from pbs // four (4) search results from trends 2024, google images captions // black friday pulled in a record $6.22 billion in online sales: adobe analytics, by lauren thomas // temu best finds, google results // rent, written by jonathan larson // sale ends, by banksy // what you own, written by jonathan larson

[george-harrisons-last-biscuit]

I keep getting Temu ads so I decided to make a shit post out of it.

Things John Lennon would have bought off of Temu

[injuries-in-dust]

This popped up on my Instagram.

I know Temu is a scam, but if this was real, I'd risk my personal data to buy it.

[dankmemes23]

[cheapgirlyfinds]

Cute Ice Cream Hair Clips 🍨

[salembehindbars]

Because of how popular fast fashion is (Shein, Temu, etc) in this generation, will we have any heirlooms to pass on to our grandchildren? Any unique jewelry our grandchildren can say they got from us?

[mrsoulstice]

Yall gone learn today