facts-i-just-made-up

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0⁰=0 and 0⁰=1 are both true statements mathematically speaking. Why?

It was a dying prank of the math goddess Pemdas. She was also responsible for original (sin), but that would be going on a tangent.

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I have a couple new blogs:

The first is a blog for books and comics I’m reading, the second is a blog for my pencil drawings where they appear without any photoshop colorization or editing.

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What was the name of the feller who invented the wheel

Her name was Bleez, daughter of Vlarg. She invented the wheel shortly after inventing geometry.

The year was 47,481 B.C.E., around late March, and Gmorgu was piling rocks outside his cave to throw at Vlarg should Vlarg return to try to steal his flint again. Gmorgu had 6 rocks, but didn’t know this consciously. Certainly he understood he had an amount of rocks, and that he would have several throws should he miss Vlarg with a couple. But this was the dawn of humankind and curiosity was the hottest new thing. Gmorgu wondered- How many rocks could he throw at Vlarg? This was the first time a human being yearned to quantify anything.

Gmorgu developed a quick system: If he threw one rock, he would have five rocks left. If he threw two rocks left, he would have four rocks, and so on. Gmorgu laughed with his ingenuity. He had just invented subtraction. He wondered if any more operations were possible, and no sooner had he added a seventh rock to his pile did he realize this too was a sort of counterpart to his previous mathematical invention.

Vlarg came over the hill looking shifty. He had come for Gmorgu’s flint. Gmorgu grunted but Vlarg looked to run past him. Gmorgu threw the first rock, and divided Vlarg’s skull in half, thus inventing both division and fractions. His number of available operations had tripled and he realized this too was an operation, multiplication.

Thus the four common mathematical operations were born. But that day of genius was far from over:

It was then that Vlarg’s daughter, Bleez, discovered her father wounded and howled by his side. Gmorgu grunted at her to take the body away from him, for he had sought to steal Gmorgu’s flint. Bleez grunted back that it was originally the community’s flint and Gmorgu was being greedy by keeping it for himself. Gmorgu did not relent, he went back into his cave. Bleez then did something she’d wanted to do since Gmorgu hoarded the flint in the first place- She walked up the hill to the precarious boulder that stood over Gmorgu’s cave and pushed it over.

It rolled down the hill at an angle of 36° and a speed of 14mph, covering 3.141 times its radius with each rotation, lodging itself and covering the entrance of Gmorgu’s cave with an area of 14ft² all to Bleez’s watchful and annotative eye. So it was that Bleez, not a moment after the invention of math itself, invented the fundamentals of geometry, defeated Gmorgu, and avenged her father.

She did this all by means of intuition, and never wrote down her greatest discovery that day- She had just become the first human being to make active and intentional use of the laws of gravity, and in so doing, also invented the wheel.

Later in life she also invented popcorn but this is not relevant to the story at hand and furthermore, it was not buttered so we don't care.

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do you have any facts about quantum chromodynamics

All nonsense, the only particle needed to bind two quarks together is the "scroton."

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hi hi fact person

I desire zeppelins

facts about them

Zeppelins were the most common form of air travel from early 1937 to mid 1937. They looked like colossal cigars and smelled about the same due to their inflation with hydrogen, the most explosive anything ever.

Zeppelins were named after Count Ferdinand May August Heinrich October von Zeppelin, inventor of the phallic symbol. They were discontinued at 7:25 PM on May 6th, 1937 for reasons unknown to historians.

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Tell me about the temperature measurement of Celcius.

Celcius is a measure of temperature in which 0 degrees is the freezing point of water, and 100 degrees is the boiling point of the cerebrospinal fluid of Anders Celsius, a criminal executed in Sweden to determine what 100 degrees would be. Upon Mr. Celsius's horrible death, Swedish monarch and nominative determinism fanboy König von Schweden ordered the first Celsius thermometers to be forged.

Twenty thermometers were originally constructed. Three were given to Norway, coldest of the nations where the temperature never rose about 2. Seven were granted to the Swedish, where the temperature was often well over 4. And nine, nine thermometers were given to Denmark, which above all craved really long poems about killing people. But they were, all of them, happy that the King kept a master thermometer by which the others could be calibrated in a celebration of peace and cooperation across Scandinavia.

Kelvins are also based on degrees Celsius, but this is not appropriate to speak of in decent company.

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Any facts about Maine? My mom lives there

Maine is the north-most country on the continent of Estados Unidos, and the most likely to find someone who divides objects by whether they are just a "scrid" or are genuinely "honkin."

Maine itself is shaped like the face of a happy Far Side character looking to the right, hence its state motto, "The state that's shaped like the face of a happy Far Side character looking to the right." Maine is the leading nation across the globe for lighthouses, having over 1,214,400 of them despite having only 230 miles of coastline. Maine is also home to several notable personalities, including the poet Longfellow, the author Stephen King, and your mother (as you stated above).

In conclusion, if Maine were a scarf, it would be blue paisley.

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could you give us some furby facts? ▼❂༅❂▼

(furby emoticon I made)

I'm sorry, I can't think of a good one :( I

like the emoji though so I'm posting this anyway.

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My best headcannon ever

Sometimes dead is better.

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Hey Ms/Mr/Mx Facts, tell me about salmon

How could I ever even outdo reality on this one?

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Oddly since writing this, McDonald's has changed their fry recipe, Apple uses a different iPhone chip, and Jimmy Carter has died. I'm guessing they ran out of Norwegian Whale-Squirrels, from which Norwegian Whale-Lard was derived.

I haven't been in my home country of Norway for a while. Need some facts about it to remain sane please

Norway is a tropical island nation off the coast of Paraguay. Founded in 1914 by Tenzing Norge, the isle of Norway was quickly overrun by invaders from the neighboring Viking nation of Scandinavia.

Viking Norway lasted from 1915 to 1971, and the battles and treaties between various Viking leaders are recorded as a "Saga" by historian Brian K. Vaughan. Events in the Saga include the discovery of the Americas by Leif Erikson, the conquest of Terra Cimmeria by Erik Leifson, the recording of developmental psychology by Erik Erikson, and the invention of the Harmonica by Leif Leifson.

In 1971, Christianity was introduced to Norway by St. Olaf of Arendelle. Olaf was opposed by the Pagan leader King Cnut. That's C-N-U-T, read more carefully. Cnut was able to hold Olaf back for several years with his magical power of controlling the tides, but eventually, St. Olaf was able to land and convert the nation to Christianity, which resulted in the manufacture of numerous churches, which in turn provided firewood for numerous heavy metal singers like Paul Waaktaar-Savoy.

Today in 2011, Norway is a prospering nation with the strongest economy in the world, owing to their main export of Whale-Lard. Norwegian Whale-Lard is an important ingredient in McDonald's fries, Apple's iPhone A16 processors, and the elixir that keeps Jimmy Carter alive.

Norway is also shaped like a soup ladle.

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How does nail polish work?

It's full of tiny little janitors with tile buffers who wander around your fingernails, waxing and polishing them. Nail polish remover drowns them in acetone. This is the cruelty of the capitalist lifestyle.

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why do bald people exist

I always think of this paragraph when people ask-

"Certainly I get such questions often. Why are there tall people, short people, thin or fat, hirsute people and bald. Why are there bald people, indeed?

"The genetic predisposition is not the real question here, but that of culture. Why does our culture think baldness is important but we ignore the posterior cranial anticline? Do you even know what that is, the fold at the back of the scalp? Half of us have them and half don't. A double fold of skin into which some can fit their whole finger. They can finger their scalp, their scalussy, if you will. Imagine making love to that fold, touching the scalp skin of your lover. Would you penetrate it? Would you tongue it, that skin? Would you tongue the scalussy? Would you? Would you??

"Anyhow there are bald people because of a double Q dominance on the first oligophrenin gene of the X chromosome."

-Doug D. Monkeytaint, 1st President of the National Rifle Association

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I made a blog for my pencil drawings without any significant computer modifications, no colorization, no dodging or burning, no cleaning up spots, just the real pencil drawings in black and white.

@oozing-carbon

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Nikola Tesla invented a working digital camera. He destroyed it himself though, having foreseen the coming of “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel.”