#tbf if you want to support someone you could probably still use this

[spongeknife]

An Idea That Would've Helped Me Process My System Better (also hello i haven't posted in a while)

TL;DR IF YOU CANT READ THROUGH If your system is in recovery and feels as though everyone's just becoming defensive/closed off, it may be (partially) because of phrasing when discussing different alters, as an alter may not feel truly supported or connected to the challenges you guy's face. This is about recovery and specifically about when trying to process a system through a third party (in my examples I use medical professionals - MP, but this could include anyone) When I was first open to getting support for my system, I remember being told in many different ways that "an(y) alter HAD a purpose, but don't necessarily have that same purpose now - so let's try to help them change their behaviors" WHICH is a lot easier said than done, right? But, I also didn't have the experience to fully understand what that means or how to support any alters into participating so a lot of helpful advice wasn't usable. SO, I felt frustrated and mostly like I was stuck banging my head against a wall to get the system to a better place. AND the entire system was feeling generally tense because everybody felt vindicated by each other. Alter(s) with an "older purpose" felt they were underappreciated, especially, and were looping back to not wanting to seek support. I started to see the bigger problem (and picture) when I was able to understand why some of the alters felt they were not being taken seriously. And that the wording MPs were using weren't very empathetic. Most of the time, when referencing these alters, words like "useful and not useful", "purposeful and not purposeful", and "help and unhelpful" were used. Along with this, sessions about those alters talked about how they needed to change now, or how they didn't have a "function" now (or their function wasn't good/beneficial). When the system started to change phrasing, and started to change wording to be more understanding of experiences/characteristics we couldn't understand, the alters were more willing to work and communicate as a cohesive unit. If you're a system who's trying to recover but can't seem to get past a communication stage, I would try becoming less goal-oriented and more process-oriented. We have done this by: -creating reaction trees to help think out harmful actions [goal/motive -> actions to achieve motive -> intended consequences AND unintended consequences -> was original goal achieved? -> ideas for different actions to have the same goal that could be used instead] is an example we use -doing venn diagrams of how someone feels about the alter/action vs how the alter feels/thinks about the action (with a similarity bubble to see what things are in common) -taking ANY (genuine/reasonable) feedback from the alter being discussed, even if it's just a paper with angry scribbles (feedback shows an awareness of communication, and can be worked on to become clearer later - it shows a first step) I'm not quite sure if this will help anyone, but when I think back to the start of my recovery I remember being told what NOT to do, but not really being told what better examples could look like. In any case, of course advice or anything will vary from system to system, and what worked for me may not work for you. This is just a generalized idea if you're not sure where to start and don't think this will do any harm to try (if you're unsafe or not ready, please follow your best judgement on what to do). I also mostly say this because I was seeing this kind of thing on a lot of system recovery pages (Not just on tumblr, but on other websites as well), and I think for some people it's not really important (phrasing may not be a big deal), but I feel for some systems this may help/make more sense. (also please know my intent is well even if I worded things a little weird or rambled a bit, I don't really want discourse or anything about this, i just am not very good at communicating my thoughts)

[gay-for-zoya]

Can you rant about Morgana?

I think I should apologise in advance I'm very hyperfixated. I'm halfway through writing this and I have no idea if any of it makes sense. I've just finished writing it you don't have to read all this if you don't want to it's a bit incoherent but yeah here you go!!

Omg my girl Morgana. I love Morgana and I don't think what she did was right by any means but I completely understand why she did it. Like can you imagine your dad being the leader of an opressive group, regularly killing members of the oppressed group, and constantly showing mistrust and distain towards them. Only to then find out you are one of them. I would be terrified. She had to watch as people of magic where killed or hunted knowing that was her. Knowing that that could one day be her fate. Also you cannot convince me season 2 Morgana was running of nearly enough sleep, she was having regular prophetic nightmares about her brother dying. Anyway speaking of Arthur I kinda get why she didn't go to him for help when her powers first appeared. If we're using the magic is gay idea then I know how scary it is to come out to people even if I know there supportive. It's still terrifying. I can't imagine that fear but somewhere where being gay is illegal. Knowing your coming out to someone supportive but knowing that if that information got out you could be killed or imprisoned. If you had a falling out they could use that information against you and basically ruin your life. Saying the words I am gay (or in Morgana's case I have magic) in an environment like that must be so scary. It's not Arthur's fault at all but just something I was thinking. I also do think Uther would have punished her in some way for having magic. We've seen through the first two seasons he's ok with imprisoning her and grabbing her by the neck so I don't think it's to fare fetched to say he would have reacted badly. ANYWAY Morgause, I wish we had seen more of her and Morgana between seasons 2 and 3. Her manipulation. I feel like it wouldn't have been hard to do Morgana was probably quite scared and lonely "I don't want to be brave, I just want to be myself. I don't want to be alone anymore." Which would have made things easy for Morgause. I'd still loved to have seen it tho, like are the mandrake theory's true? But all that aside by the time of season 3 those seeds of mistrust and resentment have been planted. I loved Morgana and merlin in season 3 tho they where so funny.

Ok I'm thinking to make this less of a massive block of text new paragraph!! So I feel like I don't have to much to say on season 3 Morgana other than omg I need her wardrobe. It was painful though seeing one of the first things she does as queen is execute people (which I think can be used as a parallel to Uther but I feel like we don't know enough about Uther to be 100% sure). Tbf tho she could have got that follow me or die mentality from Uther or Morgause. Season 4 Morgana again not much to say. I feel really bad for her in the opening scenes when she kills Morgause. She didn't look happy about it to say the least. And can you imagine how she felt after the plan didn't even work?? Also this is where emrys is first mentioned to her. Anyway she spends most of the season alone with growing fears about emrys. But she does meat Aithusa. I love her and Aithusa's friendship!! I think it also shows that the old Morgana is not dead, not completely anyway. In S5 ep8 Arthur is having dinner with the Sarrum and he says the only reason Morgana didn't use magic against him was due to Aithusa. Morgana loved the dragon so much she would let herself suffer for years just to keep her safe. I think the quote was something like "her love for the creature cause her more suffering than she could have imagined". I think this was important to mention because it shows she is still capable of love. Despite everything that has happened her old self is still there. But her capture definitely plays massively into her character in season 5. She was held in a old well, hands manacled above her head in complete darkness. No wonder she went mad. Can you imagine being left alone with only your thoughts for just under 3 years? Then she meets Mordred again and she is so happy. Finally the person she loved like a son, the one person alive who should understand her and her motive, who has also suffered due to Camelot. But she has changed. She is angry and bitter and this drives him away. She drove him right to the people she hated. Her face in the scene where Mordred stabs her breaks my heart omg. (Not blaming Mordred but it's something I wanted to mention.) I would get into the dark tower episode with Gwen as well as there parallels to Morgause and Morgana in the early seasons but this post is already so long I might do it in another. But yeah her death broken my heart. She ruined herself for nothing. She failed at all her goals and died alone and hated by everyone that once loved her. And yes I did cry at the final episode my incredibly smart mind decided the best thing to do after watching it was listen to mitski, this did not end well.

Tysm for the ask!! I'm so sorry this post is so long I have a lot of thoughts about her.

[dorizardthewizard]

Galactik Football season 3 rewatch, eps 7 - 9

Episode 7:

AGAIN they put the Shadows logo instead of the Pirates...

Well at least Mei is trying to be civil with D'jok and have a normal conversation

D'jok claiming he doesn't miss the Snow Kids >:(

I mean idk why they're tossing Mei up and down like that like, what are they celebrating XD

Aarch: We're far from ready for tonight's match, even against the Pirates!

DON'T SLANDER THEM LIKE THAT

Kinda rude they only show D'jok depressed over/ missing Mei. Surely he must miss the rest of the Snow Kids even if he won't show it? He literally ditched Mei in season 1 because Mice left, saying he's his only family apart from Maya, but now he just doesn't give a shit?

Did D'jok seriously just kiss Nikki-4 because he was reminded of Mei? Get this man some therapy

I mean idk why you're upset Mei you are literally dating Sinedd. Although I wouldn't blame her if she assumed D'jok was only doing it to get back at her

ngl I prefer Artegor's hype speeches haha

STEVENS IT'S MY BOY STEVENS!!!

What's with all the matches in season 3 having a goal being scored IN THE FIRST FEW SECONDS

GOOOOAL PIRAAAAAATES

Sorry I'm a Snow Kids supporter I swear

ooo they have Cyclops players in the Pirates team. The only chance for the Pirates to have a flux with them and be on the same level as the other teams, and they get the Cyclops. lol.

Wait, if the reason the Pirates couldn't use flux was because they're from different planets, then couldn't they use it now in this tournament? Or is it because they're all from Shiloh and it doesn't have a flux? I once read an idea somewhere that they didn't use flux because it can be tracked so they couldn't train with it, or maaaybe the Flux Society only let them play on the condition they don't use it, as their doings are a bit too opaque for their liking? Many questions.

I love Artie ditching his team to support Micro-Ice. Get you a hypeman like Artie, king shit <3

Corso kicking Artie out for potentially disturbing Sonny, they're so 💖 and in the next shot Corso is watching the TV anyway with his hands crossed like a dad LOL

YESSSS MICRO-ICE GOT TO SCORE THE FIRST GOAL! THAT'S MY SON!!!

This is me btw

Why didn't Artie just go to the stadium from the start?

I love Rocket's penalty (free?) kicks so much <3 I'm sorry I don't actually know anything about football <333

Aaand Rocket's out. You guys should really have more subs. Or like, ANY subs

Gimme some Lun-Zeara action :( Y'know, just like the Rykers match, the match doesn't have to be a total wipeout to show that the winning team is good. I want the Wambas to at least put up more of a fight against Paradisia I mean, their flux is just a discount Breath anyway

I love the Pirate's acrobatic style of play, you just know these guys are parkour experts with all their running away from Technoid

Oooo that goal attempt was by red hair dude, nice to see someone else on the Pirates team strike. Hc he's twins with the goalkeeper, but where tf did their names in the wiki come from and why are they all so basic. Tbf they probably wouldn't reveal their real names anyway

Just realised there has been like zero development for Lun-Zia in terms of integrating with the team. She's from a completely different planet, they could have done so much with this but she just... fits in just like that? I know that later there's some stuff about her wanting to stay with the SK and learn the Breath but... it just feels weird to have none of that development when she actually joins the team

GO TIA GOOOO

Hahaha, that's not how physics works. The net is a loose material! At least in the previous seasons you could see it still spinning against the net and stretching it to its limits before falling

I love Callie accidentally showing her bias sometimes

Lun-Zia just doing cartwheels to celebrate, cute

DAN DAN DAAAAANNN... CYBORGS! Although the plot kind of treats them more like androids in the sense that they're not “real” humans

> be me > girlfriend broke up with me by going to a different team > said ex girlfriend immediately gets with my nemesis > I leave for a new team, they're all hot girls and really strong players > turns out they're cyborgs > find out my dad is seriously injured and clinging on to life right after our first victory > they suspect the very coach I literally just started playing for > fml

Episode 8:

The Red Tigers?? When did they qualify???

Maddox why would you turn down the only chance of your team ever winning a match. Give them a flux player! Also, good feeling about the match?? Against the XENONS??? come on he can't be that naive

woah is that a new Technodroid theme song? Kinda slaps tbh

This match should be like 20-0 honestly

Fuck the Red Tigers <3 Warren, destroy them

SINCE WHEN DID THE RED TIGERS HAVE THE BREATH???

Warren is just as surprised as I am, although honestly I have no idea how this development didn't get out to the press sooner. This is also so thrown in, you'd think there'd be more discussion or reaction on there being two Akillian teams in this tournament??

oooo seeing Warren's teleporting from his perspective is pretty cool

I was about to rant that there's no way Warren would be troubled by the Red Tigers, flux or not, but ok fair he has the resonance because of Netherball. He only played in one match though, and all the Lightnings are good players, the team doesn't just suddenly suck because Warren's having a bad day

The Xenons have a Cyclops? Ok then, would've been too OP otherwise haha

Y'know I feel like they could have done more with this whole mixed flux thing, like found more creative ways for the team members to work together. So far, nothing would change if the tournament was still single flux, well except Lun-Zia

HOW THE FUCK DID THE TECHNODROIDS EVEN SCORE A GOAL? Keeper must have gotten bored and taken a nap, fair enough

I like Warren's dignified little clap with the audience haha, he's a true champion

Not the Red Tiger's captain pushing WARREN. This is why no one likes you guys

I'm not actually sure if that player is Woowamboo because I don't think they mention him by name, but I like to think they're bros! It's nice to see the new flux player get the spotlight and score a goal

Oooo teams we've never heard of before

I want to be at this beach party :( LOL even the Pirates are here

Rocket and Tia are so cute

Oh come on Lun-Zia you didn't really think you had a chance with Rocket? Wish they'd drop this drama and let Tia and Lun-Zia bond over something else. Last season Tia's arc also mostly revolved around Rocket so can we give her something else this time?

I like Zo-Leen just hanging with them now

STFU D'JOK WHAT DID MICRO-ICE EVER DO TO YOU??!!

Love how only some teams get the privilege of getting animated with casual clothes and not their football kits haha

Artie, after jumping an old guy that looks like Vega: we thought you were a woman!

NOT HELPING YOURSELF THERE DUDE

idk is Simbai really the only expert they can call? I mean I guess she might be renown in the field since she cured Aarch and Artegor of the Smog poisoning, but still. Aahh well since it's Sonny they probably don't have many options without alerting Technoid, that's gotta hurt

Episode 9:

Sinedd saying the Shadows will win bc they've always been a mixed flux team – I mean I guess mixed species but not flux as Sinedd had to learn the Smog. But also I'm gonna take the chance to give the Shadows points for inclusivity because they seemed to have no problem mixing the team up even before this tournament

I wonder if there was a taboo against that due to the flux wars not being that long ago, I mean the teams are already like our national football teams so most would only want to play for their planet, but it's gotta be even weirder if you switch teams and there are still tensions between your people. So this mixed flux tournament could have been a big political moment if the show explored that side more.

Ok the shading on the characters is bothering me, was it always so dark in the previous seasons? They look like they're always standing infront of a bright light.

Mark I really wouldn't trash talk Luur if I were you

Go Lun Zia!!

Guys do you think Luur would be popular with the monsterfuckers if Galactik Football were a more well known show. I mean look at his figure- (someone throws a grenade through my window)

D'JOK WHAT THE HELL, FOULING WARREN?! FUCKING WARREN YOUR IDOL WHO YOU HAVE NO BEEF WITH CURRENTLY???!!!! why are they making him do stuff like this just to drive home that he's being an ass and will learn from it like, people can be nuanced. You don't have to have him lash out at literally everyone he interacts with.

Warren: Real shame that football has come to this.

Ok this supports my theory from the Netherball episodes that Warren is obsessed with football and the integrity of the sport

YYYYESSSSS GOOOOOAL TIA SLAAYYYY!!!! SHE STEPS UUUPPP!!!

wow that match ended quickly, considering how hyped up the Xenons were in the last season. I mean they played them in the finals! I wonder if season 3 split the matches like that so they wouldn't have to animate as much lol

oh I just realised D'jok is no longer number 9, he's 6. So his number upside down, heh, symbolism

Roasted by Warren, oof. This is the guy that got SINEDD to behave and work with D'jok in the All-Stars game last season, he commands that much respect from the young players but now D'jok is just being a jerk to him for no reason.

Artegor telling Aarch to try more warmth and less doom and gloom, that's hilarious

D'jok you're really gonna reveal that Sonny is your father to THE GUY SUSPECTED OF TRYING TO KILL HIM? WHO CAN EASILY KILL YOU?? AND INFRONT OF THIS TEAM YOU'VE ONLY KNOWN A FEW DAYS?

Vega's spy suit kinda slays tbh

Not Aarch realising he needs more of a social life outside of football 😭

“Last one back is a Cyclops!” THRAN THAT'S RACIST

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. FIRST MEI/D'JOK, THEN TIA/ROCKET, NOW FREAKING AARCH/ADIM HAVE A LOVE TRIANGLE PLOT? I know it's a misunderstanding but like, what the hell. The romance drama is so bad in this season and I have a pretty low tolerance for that compared to other things like plotholes and whatever

How the fuck did Micro-Ice hear them talking from underwater

OK I like that it's Micro-Ice who gets suspicious of Paradisia with all the weird stuff going on, cute he goes up to Tia about it and she's immediately down for some investigation work despite going on about how amazing the place is a few minutes ago.

[smiggles]

This is gonna be abit of a mouthful, but I need to get it off my chest now that years have passed and we've (hopefully you have too) matured by now.

I once looked up to you, but that was a very long time ago. The trauma you caused me is irreversible. tbf I used to be a brat and if I could go back in time to backhand my younger self I would, I own up to that. But I was only a teenager, still growing and learning about myself and how to talk to others properly. Turns out I was pretty much autistic, so communication wasn't my strong point at all back then.

But even then, your two-faced behavior of proudly shitting on and bragging about how much money you were ripping off the furry community, the people who actively supported you, loved your work and paid your bills, was appalling. I had every right to call you out on it. Instead of accepting it was wrong, you sent your roommates out like attack dogs to fight your battles, defend your toxic behavior and harass me. Every time I blocked them they would find a different site to attack me on. I struggled to make friends for years after that incident, I felt I couldn't trust anyone because of what you guys did.

Years passed, and I genuinely hoped you had changed for the better, only to see a callout post during pride of all times, about your grossly acephobic attitude. I had friends who were blocked by you and didn't understand why. You need to understand your damaging actions have severe affects on real people, and when you make public apologies, the people who comment saying they forgive you don't count if they weren't the ones hurt by you. They don't speak for those affected.

I'm not looking for an apology, even if given one I probably wouldn't accept it after all the damage you've done to me. I have zero interest in you being in my life again. I just wanted to give you this perspective to get it off my chest and for you to mull on, I want you to use it to improve yourself as a person moving forward. See the wrong in your actions, how badly it affects others, and make the choice to make things right.

But that's up to you now.

Hey, I know who this is an I want you to know that I think about you often.

Read more below

Sometimes your stuff shows up on my feed or someone shares something with me that youve made because we have common interests and I think to myself Im glad theyre doing well and I hope youre surrounded by people who support you. I dont say this as a way to like Save face because this is a public anon. I would say this to you in private if I could. I was a very nasty person years and years ago and no apology will take back the pain Ive caused others from that. Especially not you. But I am sorry. I wish things could have been different. I do. For the acephobia. Yes. I was acephobic and horrible about it. I hurt a lot of people from that and cant ever take that back but know that Ive learned a lot about how to treat others and unpack the internalized hatred towards my own ace'ness and how others present themselves. I also want to say I never sent my roommates on you. That was a choice they did on their own without my knowledge. I never ever want someone to go after anyone on my behalf and while it is likely hard to believe that those who have known me these past 5-6 years can vouch that as true. I have on multiple occasions asked my friends to leave people alone I end up disagreeing with. I never name drop people I dont get along with. I dont even tell people besides my very very private close friends about what happened between me and you and that might be about 3 or 4 people at most. As for blocking? I block very liberally LOL and its almost never personal. I block people for the smallest things just to curate my social media experience. If you ever wanted to reconnect and try again Im here. And I have no hatred in my heart. I have held myself accountable all these years for things I should have done better. Handled softer. In the end Truly. Im glad youve made a beautiful career out of something you love and no matter what happens between us I hope you continue to thrive. With all my heart.

[itssoinevitable]

Hiii 👋 I just wanted to say I’ve been a fan of your blog since the good ole Downton Days and I’m so chuffed you’re a ACGAS fan too! Tbf right now the fandom is super down in the dumps (me included). How are you remaining so positive since Audrey x Gerald development in the Christmas Special?

Hi Anon! Thanks for your message, and happy holidays! So nice to hear from our old Downton Abbey crew again, I think a lot of us migrated here.

To be honest, there are a few reasons I’m not worried. (Sorry, it’s long).

1) Because I honestly love Siegfried and Audrey as friends and surrogate family. Their bond is special and beautiful, whether or not it ever becomes romantic. (Although I hope it does). They are life partners, involved in all the most important parts of each other’s lives. They have coparented Tristan (and James and Jess), they’re each other’s confidant and source of comfort. That’s special in and of itself.

2) Because I actually think they’re playing the (really, really) long game with them. I could be wrong, but that seems to be what the writers are doing. It seems quite intentional. 3 years on screen together may seem a while for some, and I suppose she’s been his housekeeper for around 7 years so it feels like ages. But imo, the best slow burns imo are the ones where you’re never quite sure if they will or won’t. It’s the little crumbs they leave scattered here and there, it’s the longing looks and angsty build up that makes it so delicious tbh. I just hope they get renewed for enough seasons to see it through. (Plus I am a Carson & Mrs Hughes fan, so 3 seasons doesn’t feel that long! Lol)

3) And lastly, because I don’t actually think they’re ready to be together yet. They’re still in the process of getting there.

Siegfried has probably had to longest way to go, in terms of being emotionally ready to realise, admit and accept that he has feelings for his housekeeper. In Season 1, he opened himself up to intimacy and the possibility of love again. He did that with Dorothy and then Diana, (although who knows why she’s been such a non-entity this last season. Maybe the actress wasn’t available?) And now, at the end of S3, he literally just resolved one of his biggest character arcs - his complex relationship and feelings for Tristan (and even then, only with a lot of encouragement and support from Audrey). He’s emotionally levelled up.

Now, I think it’s Audrey’s turn. Gerald befriending her/ pursuing her has allowed her to imagine she could be with someone again, after leaving her husband. It helps her relationship with Edward is also on the mend, since that’s been a source of so much guilt and pain for her. As for her feelings toward Gerald, they do seem to have deepened somewhat suddenly. I know some people said it felt very out of blue considering she had friendzoned him. But maybe she liked him all along and simply didn’t feel she could be more than friends, much as she wanted to. Or maybe it was brought on by the war, and him moving away. Either way, I think he’s a good man, simple and uncomplicated, which is just what she needs as she’s testing the waters of romance again. I think he’s also serving as a catalyst for Siegfried to realise the depth of his feelings for Audrey, which is v exciting imo.

Siegfried is also a good man, but things with him are as ever, more complicated. Their status as employer and employee, and long time friends also raises the stakes a lot more. Considering she’s a lot more self-aware, I think Mrs Hall knows she might have certain feelings for Siegfried (seemed a bit disapproving / jealous of his relationships) but I don’t think she has considered it could go anywhere. I feel that this budding relationship with Gerald will be pivotal in a shift between them. It might motivate her to get her divorce from Mr Hall, and resolve that source of pain from her past, too.

TL;DR All that said, I think they’re getting where to need to be, and I think we should enjoy the journey. It’ll be all the more sweet if and when it happens.

[transgymbro]

So some things about me real quick so that you have context for my situation: I am a Chinese binary trans man who is queer (mostly attracted to men, with the exception of my current partner who is transfem), living in the US. I grew up in an upper middle class family, who supports me and up until now has been able to support me financially. I do not have trauma (to the best of my knowledge) and I am not disabled.

I was not raised with strongly enforced gender roles. The most they were enforced was "you're a girl, you can't do that" which got less and less over time. I was allowed to cut my hair short (though I did not start doing so until I was 12) and I was allowed to wear boys' clothes or at least, choose whether I wanted to wear dresses/skirts or not. I was encouraged to play sports (which, surprisingly given my blog, I didn't enjoy growing up).

Because of all these circumstances, I have been fortunate enough to experience very little transandrophobia in my life. In general the most I see/experience of it is "all men suck" comments online. However, there are a few times where I did have to deal with it more directly.

Being accused of "perpetuating toxic masculinity" when I was in fact. Not doing that. Both cis and trans women have done this to me. Two instances come to mind: The first is when I had a roommate accuse me of this when I expressed that I did not enjoy emotionally deep conversations and wished I felt things less intensely (before T). This has never come from a place of "men don't show feelings" for me, this has always come from a place of not easily trusting other people and finding getting emotional embarrassing in general. The second instance was literally just for being myself, and who I am is loud, assertive, and intense. Does that make me difficult to get along with for some people? Yeah, sure, I can admit that. But that's not in and of itself toxic masculinity.

Oh by the way did I mention one of those roommates, during a conversation about sex, refused to use masculine language for my body because I wasn't on T? As if that should fucking matter when someone asks you to refer to their body in a specific way?

There's a gynecologist in the same office at my primary care doctor and they had a separate check in table. Because I didn't know what the table was for, I approached it to see and got told it was for "women only". I shrugged it off because at the time, I was just happy I passed and I didn't need the care. But I look back on that and wonder, if I had needed to see the gynecologist, would my identity be respected? Would they take me even though I have M on my license? Who fucking knows, but I don't think I want to go to any gynecologist and have to find out

Just. Every single time I had to fight my insurance on my medical transition stuff. Most notably, the thing that has delayed my top surgery until August. My insurance approved me for a hospital that the surgeon works at, but the hospital is a Catholic hospital through which all procedures had to be approved by an ethics board, else they could not happen. Because yknow. Catholic hospital, trans surgery, they rejected my fucking procedure and we had to resubmit shit all over again. Deadass I could've had top surgery in May if it weren't for these motherfuckers.

Okay so. My parents' friends have a son who's about my age. The last time I saw him we were about 20 and I told him I was trans, because he was coming onto me (again) and I felt it right to let him know that he was no longer dealing with a girl. I insisted that it was gay of him to be attracted to me and he insisted he was still straight. Tbf I brought it up first so that might have been him getting defensive. Confusing situation tbh. Probably counts, but who knows? Not sure if he took me seriously or not but I think at least his parents did. Granted I wasn't on T at the time, I bet he'd be real turned off if he heard my frat boy voice now lol

I've said this a couple times on my blog before but haven't experienced it directly, but the fact that I'm east Asian means that dudes like me are generally really feminized, and I feel that a lot of my masc presentation, while still genuine to who I am, also serves the purpose of making sure that I'm perceived as undeniably masculine, regardless of whether or not people know I'm trans

Also consistent paranoia of people not seeing me as a real guy even when they don't know I'm trans wooooo

Not to mention a very strong skepticism of other people to where, as much of a horny bastard as I am, even if I was currently single I hesitate to attend hookup/kink events and clubs because I think everyone upon knowing what parts I have would pressure me into bottoming which I really don't want to do because of dysphoria, basically I don't want to be seen as a girl or just as "guy with a pussy". Not to mention I have to get a prosthetic first.

Having to tell people to refer to my (currently hypothetical) dick as a prosthetic and not a strap on, and to not refer to me fucking someone as pegging because I AM NOT A WOMAN AND THIS IS NOT A KINK THIS IS JUST HOW I FUCK AND TOP BECAUSE I'M NOT BOTTOMING UNLESS I CAN TRUST THE OTHER PERSON WITH MY LIFE AND KNOW DAMN WELL THEY WON'T SEE ME AS A WOMAN AND AREN'T TREATING IT LIKE A FUCKING PRIZE

Just paranoia thoughts of "would I have to misgender myself for this" and "would people misgender me for this" and "do the guys around me see me as one of them or am I an outcast to them because I'm not a 'real' guy with a dick and balls"

Anyway so I attempted to register with selective service (results pending) not because I give a fuck about the military but because I shouldn't have to disclose I'm trans if I end up getting a government job while having an M on my ID stuff, pay me the cis man wages federal cunts

❗️❗️ This is asked entirely in good faith. This post is intended to open dialogue and help with solidarity and understanding. ❗️❗️

I would like to hear specifically from trans men and trans mascs how the system of [whatever the fuck you call the intersection of transphobia, misogyny, and specifically your gender- whether transandrophobia, isomisogny, antitransmasculinity, transandromisia, transmisandry, or any that I have missed as there are a lot of words to describe similar concepts] uniquely targets and affects you. Things that you feel other demographics do not experience. Reblogs and replies are very encouraged! If you would prefer, you could dm or send an ask to be added anonymously by me.

This is in the spirit of wanting to understand. I am listening. I encourage all non-trans-mascs to not speak on this topic and let trans mascs and trans men do the talking here. Reblog the post to spread it, but please say nothing.

Any and all people who identify as trans men and/or trans mascs are encouraged to participate.

This is not bait to start a fight. I will block without hesitation anyone who is actively being a shithead on this post. I want to hear and uplift your voices by getting it directly from you.

Click this to access the trans fem and trans women version of this post.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

What do you think what kind of person is Evan in his private life? We only know about Emma treating Evan horribly but both Halsey and Emma seem to feel quite vengeful towards Evan. (Tbf i don't know how H typically behaves when she breaks up with someone, maybe she is generally this bitter?) But I mean if Evan is just a normal ex, they should just move on right? Why are they so obsessed with wanting to harm him? And he is such a giant sweetheart too, so gentle! could never hurt a fly! Why would someone want to harm specifically him? I include H because she liked horrible tweets against Evan and even now commented under Emma's latest post like a bestie. If I knew my s o was horribly abused by a woman who they arrested, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with her, despite breaking up with my ex. I just wouldn't support someone violent?!

So there are 2 options - either Evan is really the biggest A-hole in private life and he did things that would justify talking badly about him or halsey teaming up with emma because they were both wronged in the same way and are searching for public revenge. Or both are crazy narcissists who really have no empathy and are hate filled toward him just because they didn't get what they want in a relationship / or just out of pure narcissism. I used to not feel as strongly about Halsey because there was no indication of her mistreating Evan, but after seeing her social media behavior post- Evan, it's really disgusting to see what extents she goes to defame Evan. So for me they are both in the same category, of emotionally abusive people. Except of course, if there is a real explanation for this behavior. Something horrible we don't know about Evan which he's always held back to the public. A very unlikely option but still an option.

Sorry for such a long text and for the amount of questions. As you can tell I like to theorize. But I would like to hear your opinion (especially to the first part) :):)

first off, i don’t think having awful, or even abusive exes, who resent you no longer being with them is any indication of your character or some dark personality you’re hiding.

halsey commenting on an instagram post from emma is not teaming up with her. but even if it was, why should anyone care if two of evan’s exes from years ago became friends? as if they would ever do anything besides shit talk a man they have not moved on from. in a perfect world, when two people break up you wouldn’t feel the need to make your ex the devil in disguise, but unfortunately many people do this even if nothing terrible happened between them - sometimes, when a person feels rejected they lash out and start demonizing the ex who did not reciprocate their feelings. in this situation, it looks like halsey was obsessive about evan (even before they met, as a fan) and i just don’t think evan was matching that energy at all. i think he was just rebounding after his final split with emma, and that’s why they fizzled out so quickly. it was probably humiliating for halsey to have done all those interviews mentioning evan, and having people recall her many gushing social media posts and that video talking about him like a fangirl.. even name dropping emma, only for that relationship to go nowhere.

“But I mean if Evan is just a normal ex, they should just move on right? Why are they so obsessed with wanting to harm him?” i don’t think you can really simplify things like that. one, i can’t say that either of them are trying to harm him now that he’s an ex - they may dislike or hate him but they are no longer in his life. it’s all too common for people to have exes they hate for a variety of reasons. relationships are complicated, and the two you’re speaking about (emma and halsey) are night and day. emvan were together for 7 years, engaged, and there was known DV on emma’s part. they broke up and reunited many times, and it’s clear why emma would hold resentment towards evan. she was an abuser who lost control of a person with low enough self-esteem to take her mistreatment and still adore her and treat her like she hung the moon. he worshipped and wanted to marry her.. good luck finding another man like that. nothing angers abusers more than losing the upper hand, and evan has moved on.

with halsey, they were only together 6 months, they burned out fast. i already shared why i feel she has negative feelings about evan: he did not live up to her expectations and she did not get her fairytale. evan very well could not have been the best boyfriend to her, or anyone - he’s human, and he obviously just left the woman he thought he was going to marry before he got with halsey. there’s a lot of baggage there. that doesn’t make him “the biggest a-hole” in his private life, at the end of the day he’s just a human who shouldn’t be put on a pedestal - nor should anyone. he makes mistakes. he has his own shortcomings and trauma and issues he has to work through like anyone else in this world. when we look at celebrity relationships and see exes lash out, talk badly about their former partners, make petty remarks.. we will almost never know the whole story. we will never know these people intimately. but we can look at the whole picture and deduce whether or not we think someone has valid reason to feel wronged, and when someone is just a bitter ex who is hanging onto the past.

FYI - this is the comment from halsey.

[hopelesshawks]

WOAH WOAH is your MHA reqs open?? So I wanted to request a Todoroki x Reader Angst where Todoroki sees his s/o getting stabbed by a villain with countless sharp spears like in Chiaki’s death video in danganronpa along with 1-A and just loses it? I’m sorry I’m craving for angst rn ✨✨ also love your writing and remember to stay safe <33 💕💗

My requests are open yes!! I have actually missed receiving them (and tbf I’m prolly not getting them because I’m doing daily updates on History of Us hahaha). So thanks for the request anon. I’m also really touched that you love my writing 🥰 I hope this lives up to your impression of me!

I had never seen danganropa but I just looked up what you were talking about and w o w I am in ✨pain✨ 🥲 I’ve got you anon. It’s going to hurt but I got you. Did I drag out (y/n)’s last words? Yes. Would they realistically already have died before saying all that I have them say? Probably. But this is fanfic and if movie writers can do it then goddamn it so can I!

CW for angst, somewhat graphic description of major character injury and death (reader), non-major character death, and canon typical violence

Nothing has been the same since the fall of the hero commission and the loss of faith in the Symbol of Peace’s generation of heroes. It’s been two years since Shigaraki wreaked havoc and Dabi exposed Endeavor’s crimes. As pros unused to that level of violence retired or quit, hero class students have been forced to step up and fill in the spaces they left behind. As a result, even as their faith in the pros waned, the public started to see the students as a beacon of hope. All Might, they whisper, spoiled the current generation of heroes. They argue that Endeavor is now too old to keep up, that Hawks and Mirko are too burdened by their mentors’ failures, and all the heroes aged in between are too used to the relative peace of the golden era to be effective. These current students though? Students like the famous UA hero class A, now third years who’ve already seen so much? They are the new hope. They’d grown up in the fires of a post-symbol of peace era and as such they are the only ones who can drag society out of it. It would be flattering if not for the overwhelming pressure that comes along with it.

Shoto thinks he would have been crushed beneath that pressure if not for you.

The two of you had started growing close your first year during the provisional license exam make up classes. Spending so much additional time together over the weekend had allowed Shoto to slowly open up to you until a beautiful friendship had blossomed. Even still, both of you had secretly yearned for something more. It was only after the destruction of Jaku City and the Todoroki family secrets were aired to the whole of Japan that the two of you finally acted on your feelings. You’d been such a source of support for him afterwards that eventually he hadn’t been able or willing to hold back any longer and had confessed his feelings to you late one night in the dorms. The two of you have been together ever since and fully intend to open a hero agency together after graduation. He knows the two of you are still young but sometimes when he looks at you with your blinding smile or when you’re sleeping peacefully beside him, he swears he can hear wedding bells. If the civilians of Japan can consistently forget how young you all are as they urge you to take over for the pros, then it seems only fair he should be able to forget too.

His mother was ecstatic when he asked her about engagement rings. Endeavor had said it was too early, that marriage is too large a commitment to make at 18 years old, but Shoto insisted and eventually a compromise was reached. He’ll wait until after graduation but then he’s determined to make you his forever and always.

It’s an otherwise normal Saturday afternoon in the dorms when Iida and Momo get an urgent distress signal to gather the entirety of the class and head into the city. A large group of ragtag criminals, determined to become the next League of Villains, is terrorizing Musutafu and the number of casualties is climbing rapidly. The other heroes usually responsible for that area had been called away to handle a different disaster and all attempts made by the civilians to defend themselves had only led to more chaos. The entire class mobilized in seconds. Calls like this aren’t uncommon now. The villains have been banding together more and their bloodlust seems to have grown exponentially with civilians’ continued lack of trust in the current pros. By the time you all arrive to the scene there’s no time to waste. “Be careful,” you tell Shoto, carefully running a hand through his hair before resting it on his cheek. He brings his hand up to cover yours before promising, “I will.” He presses a kiss to your palm but before he can do more Bakugo sharply barks “Hurry it up lovebirds we got a fucking job to do!” before racing off. You both know he’s right. “I love you,” you tell Shoto. “Love you too,” he promises before you both steel yourselves and then take off into the fray.

It’s an absolutely grueling battle. Every time someone takes one villain down, another comes to take their place. “Pinky! On your left!” you call out, causing your classmate to sharply turn. Mina just manages to dodge a punch one of the villains throws her way and swiftly counteracts with an attack of her own, calling out a thanks. There’s no time to breathe though and almost as soon as you’re done warning Mina, you have to dive in to keep another villain off Ojiro’s back. It’s chaotic but slowly you’re starting to pick away the forces as many of the remaining villains start fleeing. Once it looks like they’ve all retreated you instinctively look for Shoto, having not seen him since the fighting had properly started. You catch sight of him and heave a sigh of relief. You call out his name to catch his attention and although he initially offers you a soft smile you notice his eyes suddenly widen. “(Y/n) behind you!” he calls out.

Every moment after that seems to happen in slow motion.

You turn around just in time for a spear to fire clean through your shoulder, knocking you off balance. You start to fall backwards but before you can even hit the ground at least a dozen more rise up from the asphalt and impale your body. You hear Shoto’s broken cry of your name but it sounds so distant to you. After a moment stuck in place the spears suddenly drop back into the ground. Shoto is next to you in a second, pulling your broken body close as you bleed out. One of your other classmates tries to call for medical support but all he can focus on is you and the sheer amount of blood you’re losing. Shoto knows his training. He knows that when a victim has been stabbed it’s crucial to put pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding, but how can he when there’s so many fucking wounds. “You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok. You’re going to be ok.” He says it over and over again like a mantra. It’s both a plea to you and a desperate attempt to deny the harsh reality that the love of his life is bleeding out in his arms.

You press a bloody hand to his cheek, looking lovingly up at the man you’d do anything for, and shush him quietly. “Sho,” you rasp, voice already weak as your body tries and fails to cope with your injuries. “Don’t,” he warns. “Sho, baby, look at me,” you try again but he shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly as tears start to run down his cheeks. “Please?” you ask and he can’t deny you, never could, so he opens his eyes and looks down at your glossy ones as you fight to stay awake just a little bit longer. “There they are. I always did love your eyes,” you tell him wistfully as your thumb strokes his cheek, smearing your blood there, though you don’t seem to notice. “You can’t leave me. You have to be ok,” he whispers but you shake your head. You can already feel yourself fading and with medical attention still several minutes out at least you know there’s no fixing this. “I need you to promise me something,” you tell him. “Anything,” he replies immediately and it brings a sad smile to your blood stained lips. “Promise you’ll find someone else after me,” you say and the scandalized look on his face would have probably made you laugh under different circumstances. “You’ve got too much love to give to let it die with me,” you tell him but he shakes his head again. “I could never love anyone else like I love you,” he swears and he means it with every fiber of his being. You chuckle wetly. “You always were stubborn. Fine, then promise to never forget me,” you compromise, tears welling in your own eyes now too. “I couldn’t even if I tried,” he swears before leaning down to press one last kiss to your lips. He can taste the tang of iron and feel your tears and his mingling on your cheeks. “I love you,” he whispers against your lips as he pulls away, but for the first time since he first said the words to you, you don’t say them back. “(Y/n)? Baby, I love you,” he tries again, pulling back to look at you properly now. Your eyes remain shut, your hand falling limp from his cheek, and when he looks to your chest the rise and fall of it has ceased.

Devastation claws up through him like a rabid animal, tearing him apart as his whole world shatters around him. He feels his grief like a physical ache in his chest, radiating out to each of his limbs as if every cell of his body is violently rejecting the fact that you’re gone. “Todoroki-kun?” Midoriya asks cautiously, putting a gentle hand on Shoto’s shoulder. Shoto’s head snaps up as he cradles you closer, as if scared your body will be taken away from him too. Before Midoriya can say whatever he was going to, Denki’s voice cuts through the tense silence. “I got him!” he crows, shoving the villain down to the ground in front of his classmates. Shoto’s eyes land on the villain and instantly his grief twists into a searing rage. He gently lays your body down but his eyes are cold and lethal as he stares down the man that took you away from him. Midoriya realizes what’s happening a beat too late and by the time he reaches out to grab Shoto, the grief stricken man has already launched himself at the villain and grasped hold of him. His right hand closes around the man’s throat, ice wrapping around it like a vice grip. He’s vaguely aware of his classmates calling his name but he doesn’t care. This man stole the love of his life from him. For that he will pay. Before Todoroki can finish the job he’s suddenly being yanked back by Midoriya and Bakugo. “Let go of me!” he demands as he fights against their hold, ignoring their warnings and empty platitudes. He manages to wrench his left arm free for a brief moment and that’s all he needs. His flames shoot out, preventing Midoriya from getting a good hold of him again, and the man who murdered you goes up in flame. His howls of pain echo around the buildings around them but the sound is music to Shoto’s ears. Let him suffer. It’s a fate he deserves.

His classmates watch on in stunned horror until the villain is burned down to ash. As his flames die out so too does all the fight seem to drain from Shoto as the crushing grief returns. Bakugo let’s him go once it’s clear he’s not a threat anymore and Shoto uses his freedom to drag himself back over to your lifeless body. It’s not fair. You’re so young. He’s so young. Why was this fight even you all’s responsibility in the first place? He’s been excitedly planning his proposal to you for weeks. Now he’ll have to plan a funeral. The thought makes him physically ill and he has to turn to the side as bile climbs up his throat and he retches onto the asphalt beside him.

How is he supposed to go on without you?

Midoriya returns a hand to his shoulder as the paramedics finally arrive. It’s too late. Far too late. One of them approaches cautiously and like a dog protecting his master Shoto immediately lashes out. “Don’t you fucking touch them,” he warns, eyes cold and voice lethal. The paramedic jerks backwards, his hands up in surrender, as he cautiously looks to the other class A students for advice. They have none. They’ve never seen Todoroki like this. They can’t even begin to imagine what he’s going through. It’s Eijirou who steps up in the end. He approaches Shoto carefully, as if his classmate is a feral animal, before kneeling down to his level. “They need to take (y/n) to the hospital on that stretcher over there,” Kirishima tells him carefully, jerking his head in the direction of the waiting ambulance. “Can you carry them there for the paramedics?” he asks. Shoto stares at Kirishima blankly as if trying to process his words before slowly nodding. “Ok. Let’s go then, yea?” Kiri asks. Another nod in response before Shoto carefully gathers you into his arms. He ignores the way your body has already started to go cold as he carries you over to the stretcher. He tries to pretend they’re just rushing you to the hospital, that they’re speeding you over to recovery girl and in a few hours time you’ll be tired but cheery, teasing him for being so worried about nothing. But as he lays you down and then watches them zip you up into a black bag, he knows it’s a hopeless fantasy. You’re gone and you’re never coming back.

A few days later he sits in a black suit with a black tie and a silver chain carrying an engagement ring around his neck. He leans against Fuyumi, who sits on his left side, while his mother grasps tightly onto his right hand. Behind him Natsuo rests a steady hand on his shoulder. His father hovers nearby, unsure how best to offer his support or if his support would even be welcome. They are the only thing that keeps Shoto from falling apart. When the time comes, he stands on shaky legs and approaches your open casket. At first he’d been insistent he wouldn’t look, but his mother had argued his last image of you shouldn’t be your broken body, riddled with holes. So he looks down at you, pieced back together by some mortician, lying motionless in the nicest outfit you own and he traces every detail of you. He tries to patch over the memory of you broken on the ground that haunts him every night since it’s happened with this image of you now. He pictures all of the good and beautiful moments you’ve shared together, let’s them swell in his chest until they’re too large to contain and pour out of him through his silent tears. He leans down and presses a gentle kiss to your too cold forehead and mumbles to you again his final promise:

“I love you, (y/n). I’ll never forget you.”

[mammonprotectionsquad]

ooooh ya hehe >.< bro even one of my favorite OCs (the only one so far who i've not abandoned even a little, even when my fandom hyperfixation shifted) is like that -- she's sarcastic, blunt, hot-headed, and yet like not bothered by a lot of things that probably should bother her? she's kinda like jumin mixed with a hothead, so she swings both ways: cool-headed sometimes, hotheaded others (usually in response to injustice or being protective of the people she loves). but she's terrible with expressing affection. like she'll compliment someone's features with a blank face because to her "their freckles are nicely proportioned, i dont see anything wrong with pointing that out" but ... yeah. lmao. i love her. i love these types

part of me wishes there was a bit more of tsundere seven, ngl, hehe

i. 100%. agree. big brother vibes. grumpy big bro vibes. i am literally debating writing extra interactions between my cmc and vandy because i fhsdjkfsdfjkb i just love to think what would come of that. she sees right through his denial like saeran does, but she'll actually speak up about it... a lot. lol

AND AGAIN, like the birthday CG suggested -- even if he does go back to his hometown, it looks like he's still gonna pop in and visit every now and then because he "happened to be in the area"

omg... yeah. i want to get a twitter account to support the youtubers i watch over there, but its not worth the horror stories ive heard XD tumblr's still kind of a hellhole but when you find the right niche and dont read comments on controversial posts it can be pretty great. and tbf, tumblr's probably the only space you can interact like this? instagram feels so private (which i like) and reddit... well, im extremely new and only got it so i could ask a question on the mysme subreddit lol. so i dont even use it. but still, it doesn feel like it would offer the same level of interaction... if im making any sense

[417]

Arug6gx omg she sounds amazing! :D 10/10. Characters like that are always great. Especially when they're with someone who's either pretty much the same ooooor polar opposite!

And my oc loves to call Vandy out on his bs when he complains about Saeyoung again. She's always like "admit it, you actually love him" xD (also I have a running gag where Saeyoung refers to them as mom and dad and she just humors him while Vandy is super annoyed by it 😂)

Also... Do it! Let your cmc and Mr grumpy pants interact! I'm sure that would be really fun :D

Agreed! He'd definitely show up like that to check on the twins and make sure they're still alive lol

I mean, if you want to make a twitter, go for it :3 it's kinda trial and error at first whenever you wanna follow people with the same interests etc. But it's not all bad all the time xD I use it to stay in contact with some friends and mutuals, to see fanart and stay kinda up to date with the vtubers I follow. So all in all it's very chill :3 plus there's always the option to block words and tags etc as well.

Instagram... Sure can be nice but idk. They try too hard to become tiktok 2.0 :/ they flood the feed too much with videos now which is really annoying.

Yeeeah on Tumblr it's really safest to stay away from most discussions xD

[sunflower-cathedral]

Credit to Shadeswift99 for the idea!

Rating hermits based on if I could win a fight against them:

Xisuma: 10/10 I will ruin X without hesitation. All I have to do is think of that video where he talked rlly shitty on a gender topic. The amount of unbridled rage-

Joehills: 3/10 he will fight dirty and you cant convince me otherwise. He was close with the convex last season, he has gotten his fair share of getting his hands dirty and I dont trust it.

Bdubs: -10000/10 this fucker will probably destroy me. Look, I could easily go off about how short he is and use his desperate anger as a way to make calculated hits but he is so unhinged. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is something so so so feral and unhinged in bdubs that's always 2 seconds away from exploding at any given moment. I am also shorter; and very competitive, which would feed into his competitiveness.

TFC: -1000000000/10 I wouldn't. I just wouldn't. I wouldn't even try to hurt him hes minecraft grandpa i love him :(

Cleo: 8.5/10 I feel like I would have a solid chance, but she plays dirty after the initial shock of being attacked. Tbf I usually try fighting her every time shes on the patron server when I'm also on. Also if the rewards of heads are involved she will win 1000% no doubt about it.

Stress: YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT HER?? AN ONLY PARENT WITH 3 CHILDREN?? WHO WORKS OUT?? NO. NO. SHE WILL BREAK MY SPINE LIKE A FUCKING TWIG IF I TRIED. FUCK-NO/10

False: 4/10 we would be an even match but me being a massive simp would bring my guard down. She could probably destroy my joints if she wanted

Scar: 11/10 I will snap his spine in half in seconds but I will feel guilt because I love him :(

Grian: 5/10 grians not the only person who can play dirty. It would be an even fight

Mumbo: 1000/10 hes a stick

Iskall: 0/10 no

Tango: I'm intimidated. 4/10. I dont trust him, I feel like he could break my neck from 4 feet away but also I feel like he doesn't have the skills against someone who plays pvp related minigames frequently

Impulse: I can and will beat the shit out of him without trying 10000/10

Zedaph: I dont trust a man who isn't afraid of the void and purposefully sits in said void -10/10

Cub: 3/10 he will snipe me to death NOT IF I SNIPE HIM FIRST- also I hate his skin so much its literal cultural appropriation (it's only cultural appropriation because it's similar to what leaders like Cleopatra etc wore: which is sacred to only the most powerful) so actually infinity/10 my pure blind anger and rage will kill him in a 200 block radius

Etho: ... meeehhh I dont wanna fight an OG today 0/10

Doc: look I get he fought God and lost only an arm and won, but listen. I'm A Uni Student. I fear nothing but due dates. I will destroy this man with every fiber of my being. It would be 11/10 but hes a new dad and frankly they're over protective. So he would easily break every bone in my body before I even manage to land a hit on him. 0/10

Wels: i would die for him. I would let him kill me and I would be happy 0/10

Xb & beef: I dont know them well enough but I feel like it would be a decent fight 4/10

Jevin: if he even looks at me he will implode bc of my hatred. I'm still so fucking infuriated by him invalidating and mocking Trigger Warnings infinity/10

Keralis: HE BETTER PULL THE FUCK UP I WILL DESTROY HIM 10/10

Ren: His muscles don't intimidate me, but his never ending support for the rainbow community would make me too weak to attack him. I would be bawling my eyes out and probably end up cuddled by ren. I could never. -1000000000/10

[danwhobrowses]

One Piece Chapter 1026 - Initial Thoughts

And we return The weeks always feel longer without it but One Piece is back from its big 3-part colour spread and a well-earned rest for Oda

But now we return to the Dragon Action, taking it by the ball Z Or something along those lines

Spoilers for the Chapter, Support the Official Release as Well

A sweet Nami cover this time, making a fashion line with Leo in the style of Bell-mere's Sunflower/Lion design - which tbf could've been Thousand Sunny foreshadowing now that I think about it

Man, the Flower Capital is just a big bowl for Onigashima isn't it? I wonder if Onigashima was originally where the Flower Capital was, and when it was thrown into the ocean they built the Flower Capital from the remains

Hitetsu's worrying about Tama, even though he could've easily been competent enough to fight, but I guess someone has to look after Toko - where's Onimaru btw?

Even more ominous is that Onigashima isn't too far from the Flower Capital now

One of the eye print spies who can broadcast seems to be at the scene of the dragons, able to confirm that there are two dragons, one's being rode by Luffy and Yamato has been fighting Kaido

Luffy does want to encourage Momo to do Dragon Things but he's still being unsure about himself, deciding to dodge the Blast Breath rather than fire one of his own

Quietly, Luffy tells Momo to do something, something he's not entirely sure about, but Luffy's already off to hammer down a Gear Third Elephant Gun

Bite Kaido!? That's a Luffy and a Goku move there, when in doubt bite your enemy

Momo's reluctant, but then memories of Oden Castle steel his nerves

Crazy sonofabitch did it, Kozuki Momonosuke just bit the Yonko Kaido, and boy did Kaido not see that coming

Though it's not doing as much damage as hoped, but when Kaido stares him down Momo stares right back

Yamato looks to come rescue Momo but Luffy's back with the conqueror's punch

Ah shit, the dragons have clouded up the Moon again, meaning that Inu and Neko have been pushed back to their normal forms at the mercy of Perospero and Jack

Oh man Jack's hybrid form just keeps looking worse, he has a whole mammoth's ass

Pero you should really not gloat about having luck

Carrot honey you need to contribute more in this fight please, it hurts to see you go to waste

The performance floor still is getting the broadcast from the transmission guy, where Momo's name is clearly heard to identify the safety of the young lord to the allies

Luffy got a point, if Momo can bite a Yonko what's he scared of now

Yamato is just enjoying the ride at this point

As Luffy encourages Momo to stop Onigashima, Zoro and Sanji show disbelief that they're talking about Momo

Once more Luffy stands his ground, declaring he will defeat Kaido

I wonder if BM lowkey respects Luffy at this point, or if she's just laughing it all off

Kid's 'fuckin' better' gets me though XD dude went from wanting to take Kaido's head to letting Luffy do it

Law too just pulling his passive aggressive comments

For the rest of the alliance, spirits are high, mainly out of relief that Momo and Luffy are indeed alive

Kaido though is back in his hybrid form, ready to challenge Luffy once again

Apt that Luffy says 'anything can happen' because the two Conqueror's clash parts the skies just like WB/Shanks and Kaido/BM did, the transmission guy is KO'd and the clash parts the heavens, letting the moon shine in

I'd say Perospero is about to eat his words but with that fatass tongue of his it's a surprise he can eat anything

Citing Oden Nitoryu, though clearly not using Nitoryu, Inu and Neko defeat Pero and Jack. I think Pero's candy arm has shattered too

Orochi get your bitch ass out of hiding so we can finish that last head off!

So we're back to Luffy vs Kaido now, which is great, I'm curious though what Yamato will now do though, maybe help Momo with stopping Onigashima from falling? Dunno how but it could work out.

Luffy definitely should get props for sparking confidence in Momo, telling him to bite Kaido was childish on the surface but it also served as a motivation for Momo to act his newfound age.

While I'm not surprised that Inu and Neko won, I am still let down that Carrot doesn't get the final blow on Perospero, since she was most affected by witnessing Pedro's death. I dunno I think I just want more from her, especially since I think she'd be cool in the Nakama. Considering that in Whole Cake she successfully outwitted and defeated 3 of BM's children including Daifuku, plus Randolph a high ranking Homie also plus any of Kaido's gifters during their skirmish at Zou, she deserves some props.

Orochi's return to the field could spell bad things for Inu though, I still think he's gonna die but it's gonna suck if it's thanks to Orochi rather than in combat. At the moment though he seems to want to keep his distance, probably looking for a safe way off the island, but we should definitely be wary of him for the time being.

[tabriscadash]

I was asked this on my old blog right as I set about transitioning to this one, so...

The first character I ever fell in love with: for DA:O, dare I say Daveth? What can I say -- I irrationally got incredibly attached to him. otherwise, DEFINITELY Morrigan, and I have crystal clear memories of my first run through Lothering and looking at Morrigan like 😍 the whole time. For DA:2/E, Carver -- unless you count Anders & Justice since I knew of them from Awakening beforehand, in which case probably Justice. For DA:I, it’s a toss-up between Vivienne or Cole -- I technically liked Cole first but SPECIFICALLY in the supporting material (Asunder), and didn’t vibe with him anywhere near as much in the game, AND I got him as a companion after I got Vivienne, so probably Vivienne.

A character that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I guess Oghren? I never loved him, but I liked the idea of him because I really liked the dwarves/Orzammar side of DA’s worldbuilding -- but he’s such an unlikeable character that I just.. don’t vibe with him at all. I debate recruiting him every single time now, and I don’t think I ever do his personal quest (in the base game OR Awakening). for DA:2/E, I don’t really have anyone that fits -- but I REALLY wanted to like Merrill and Aveline more than I did, and especially in Aveline’s case, I can’t stand her and genuinely think she’s the unintended, secret Big Bad of the whole game. for DA:I, probably Cole, bc I was really into the idea of a little walking-corpse serial killer animated by a spirit as per the book, but that’s not really the vibe in DA:I, and combined with the somewhat patronising/ableist language and how significantly he is infantilised (including by the fandom) I just got put off him. I do still like him, but not as much.

A ship that I used to love/like, but now do not: for DA:O, I don’t really have one? I guess see my DA:I answer, lol... for DA:2/E, has to be Anders - I don’t think he’s OOC in 2, but I think his writing does so little with him and he feels v. reductive. Where his relationship could be SO interesting and angsty, it instead is written in a really dull and/or cringey way. It would have been nice to see Anders more like the Anders of Awakening near the beginning of the game (rather than random, infrequent and questionably rare snippets), and then see the progression of his relationship with Justice as the game went on -- I want more interesting abominations, PLEASE. for DA:I, listen I cannot express to you HOW EXCITED I was for my planned Lavellan to romance Sera… also I used to be way more tolerant of Cullen x Amell/Surana ships because, like, hey dark ships are fun, right? But since Cullen’s ~wholesome whitewash~ in DA:I, and his fandom clamouring to absolve him of any wrongdoing ever.. it’s boring to me.

My ultimate favourite character™: for DA:O, probably Sten? or Morrigan. They’re both fantastic, and also are significant comfort chars for me. for DA:2/3, honestly, probably my own Hawke -- I feel so hugely proud of her, and can’t imagine I’d enjoy the game anywhere near as much had I not played it as my Hawke. If not her, maybe Sebastian or Carver? for DA:I, I really love Vivienne, as well as Blackwall, and Solas is a great character even if I probably would not say I liked him.

Prettiest character: for DA:O, we all know it’s Zevran. for DA:2/E, I think Aveline -- although her aggressively bland colour-scheme lets her down in a major way (although I respect her dedication to all orange all day every day). There’s just something about her arms -- very Abby from TLOU:2. for DA:I, maybe Josephine? Ser Barris is very pretty, too...

My most hated character: for DA:O, I really didn’t like Alistair, Wynne and Oghren, and of my companions - Oghren is probably my least favourite. He’s vulgar and also profoundly uninteresting. for DA:2/E, it has to be Aveline. There’s just something about ineptitude and a complete, wilful refusal to take accountability for your actions that I can’t stand. It would be okay if it was an intentional character flaw, but the game/narrative treats her like she’s lawful good and it really annoys me. for DA:I, maybe Iron Bull? He was a huge disappointment for me. I also really dislike Sera, Cassandra, and Varric. I’m so sick of Varric - I never want to see him again.

My OTP: for DA:O, I really loved Zevran’s romance -- but I am also very amused by the fact that Leliana got to ‘love’ status with Kallian accidentally, AND I got the ‘love’ glitch for Justice (👀) and Velanna. I do sometimes wonder about an AU where Kallian is forced to make a politically expedient marriage with Nathaniel Howe for diplomatic reasons in order to consolidate her position as Arlessa, and it being an entirely platonic arrangement (it’s not like anyone expects an heir from an infertile Grey Warden) -- and maybe Zev and Nate kiss sometimes, who knows? I also LOVE my Darkspawn Chronicles AU where Kallian and Nelaros are a happy, married couple each hiding their skills with weapons from each other like dumb, cute sweethearts. They shelter Zevran when he fails to kill Alistair and a poly couple evolves. for DA:2/E, I love the IDEA of a Seb romance that isn’t so strictly conditional around the structures that abused him -- he should be allowed to love, chastely or otherwise, but free from the Chantry OR his position as prince/heir. I’d LOVE to actually have a romance with him where you can actually challenge the abuse he’s experienced. for DA:I, Malika doesn’t have a canon romance (although I think when I replay, I’m going to romance Josephine!) but I think Blackwall has an amazing romance. Solas’ is also iconic, it must be said. 

My NOTP: for DA:O, I really dislike Alistair in a shipping capacity; he’s immature and says a lot of misogynistic shit and I don’t think he’s the worst for it, but I don’t really vibe with shipping him, having played the game as a female city elf. for DA:2/E, I wouldn’t say I have one, particularly? although I really dislike Aveline’s relationship with her husband simply because it seems incredibly inappropriate, given that they work together and she has power over him -- and because I dislike her, generally, I don’t feel inclined to do something nice for her. for DA:I, I suppose Sera/Lavellan -- although I’m not AGAINST it, it just really isn’t for me, having attempted it. I also don’t really vibe with Dorian x Iron Bull. Something abt the way the game handled BDSM and their relationship banter specifically I don’t really like.

Favourite episode quest: for DA:O, probs Orzammar/the Deep Roads. I really love the dwarven lore! and, of course, Fort Drakon is really funny, even though it’s not canon in my game iirc. for DA:2/E, maybe the murder mystery with the serial killer, where ultimately Leandra dies? I also really enjoyed all the companion quests. for DA:I, The Descent (just, all of it, lmao) and everything to do with the Avvar. Crestwood also BANGED.

Saddest death: for DA:O, it’s frankly a fucking INJUSTICE that Shianni gets murdered if you make her Bann of the Alienage -- the idea of that happening whilst Kallian is in Amaranthine and unable to protect her :( genuinely very upsetting. I go back and forth on who is made Bann, tbf, so idk how canonical it is: I think maybe Cyrion would get it, but I’m also endeared to Soris holding the position, with Shianni as Hahren. for DA:2/E, Bethany. I wish both twins had had the chance to reach Kirkwall :(. Let Leandra die instead. for DA:I, maybe not the saddest death, but the most memorable for me was that one sleeping dragon in the Hissing Wastes.. leave her alone. Stay out of a womans’ business.

Favourite season game: DA:O!

Least favourite season game: DA:I.

Character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but I hate: for DA:O, Alistair. I cannot deal with his complacency and hypocrisy. for DA:2, I really disliked Merrill but I honestly cannot remember why. DEFINITELY Varric -- I hated how the game forces you to be his best friend, and if you’re low approval, you have to endure these pointless pissy little comments with this little anti-dwarf centrist pissant. After the expedition, I literally have no reason to put up with him, and I NEVER take him out. I hate that he plays the same role in DA:I, too. for DA:I, the Iron Bull was hugely disappointing, and I also really don’t vibe with Cassandra. She just seems very wishy-washy and complacent and hypocritical, and many of her comments about other cultures seem snide for literally no reason other than bigotry. 

My ‘you’re a piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: for DA:O, lbr probably Sten. Mans is gonna launch a HORRIFYING invasion in the next game iirc and frankly, I’m ok with it. Just wanna see that big bastard again ❤🥵. for DA:2/E, I LOVE Gamlen, ok? for DA:I, I am not sure if I have one.

My ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: for DA:O, if any of you so much as LOOK at Velanna wrong, it’s hands. That includes Bioware. I also feel incredibly protective of and sad for Morrigan. for DA:2/E, probably Sebastian -- I feel so sad for him, and so frustrated by the limitations with the game. for DA:I, I’m honestly not sure.. maybe Josephine? I don’t really feel this way about Sera, but I do think she deserves better from the game and its writing, and also from fandom: there are valid criticisms of her, but the hate she gets is not proportional to any valid issues with her -- and gee, I wonder why that is.

My ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: for DA:O, I did use to find Cullen x Surana/Amell intriguing as a dark ship -- I actually hc that Neria Surana is actually Nelaros’ sister, and have dabbled with it as a dark ship. I also am interested in Loghain/Alistair - which each pretends the other is someone else. Alistair is wooby, hate ships are, in general, fun -- so long as we acknowledge that they are, indeed, unhealthy ships. for DA:2/E, I kind of feel like Sebastian romances are, invariably, kind of dark... and, similarly, Anders romances -- especially with certain red Hawkes, The way it ends is, invariably, bordering on fucked up. ALSO Hawkecest is weird and wonderful: GET WITH IT. 

My ‘they’re kind of cute, and I lowkey ship them, but I’m not too invested’ ship: for DA:O, I joked about Velanna x Leliana once and I’ve not been able to stop thinking about it ever since… Velanna x Sigrun is also something that can be so personal. Ariane x Finn is adorable and are paid DUST by Bioware AND fandom. I actually am really into Anora x Nathaniel & NO I will NOT explain myself; it’s a crackship but it’s MY crackship. for DA:2/E, Isabela x Fenris is super cute, but I don’t pay enough attention to them to really have super committed thoughts & feelings on them. for DA:I, Blackwall x Josephine is cute as a background ship; I also think Maryden x Cole is sweet.

[silver-wield]

body language analysis: tifa and cloud train scene!! go!

Oh, Nonny, you made my morning with this!! I mean, it's not like I haven't touched on Cloud and Tifa's body language in gif reblogs, but an actual post dedicated to one of the best moments of the game? YAY!!

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

So, the corkscrew tunnel scene – or clotiscrew tunnel as I've seen it called – begins with Avalanche caught by the sensors on the train. After a timed fight – which, yes, it's possible to lose, but it's also clear this is a “bad ending” where you've made Cloud look like an incompetent dick who can't even handle a few drones – we see Barret mustering his courage and leaping from the train (he's so damn cute sometimes, I'm gonna have to do a post about his development with Cloud at some point).

The action then cuts to Tifa, frozen in front of the door, too afraid to jump (you can hear her whimpering). Cloud calls her name, deals with the last drone and comes over. Now, in the OG, obviously they all jump one after the other because polygons and popeye arms would've just looked like a total mess and Square admitted they neglected Cloti to highlight all the relationship development between Clerith since she dies later.

Cut to 2020 and we get this. Damn, Square, if I didn't already love you for pretty much my entire life already I'd have fallen for you all over again. In fact, I think I probably did.

Ok, I'm done gushing. Kinda.

I think the first thing I have to point out is that Cloud, at no point, needed to do this. He could have verbally encouraged Tifa to jump without the need for physical support at all. After all, the train's slowing down and she was fine in the OG, so who's to say she wouldn't be fine now, too? By calling her name and fixing her attention on him he's actually stalling her jump.

You'll notice that Tifa doesn't take her eyes off the tracks (before this screen obvs since I can see that’s her feet, work with me here), which is fitting since she's zeroed in on that fearful moment and actually can't move without help. Cloud's face in this is displaying typical tension you'd expect in a high energy scene. He's concerned for Tifa, but he's also focused on dealing with the mechs, which he does very quickly. Now, you could argue he did that to get on with the mission, or you could argue he did that because he saw Tifa needed him and his focus shifted to her. And watching the seconds following him turning to look at her, I'd say there's evidence towards the latter because he's actually lost focus on the last mech and it attacks him first causing him to block and parry.

This is the first instance of touching in this scene, and until this point, Tifa hadn't moved or acknowledged Cloud. He needed to physically draw her from her thoughts and you'll hear a surprised exhale from her as she turns to look at him, showing she was lost within herself until he drew her out. Cloud is obviously looking at the tracks, judging his next move. He's already planning what he has to do to keep both of them safe, which is clear from his decisive nod, along with a reassuring, but grim, smile, before pulling Tifa out the door. Remember, I said he could’ve verbally got her attention. He didn’t. He chose touch.

See what I mean about janky quality? Anyway, this is clear concern about Tifa's safety, but also, remember, Cloud is on the mission because Tifa said she felt trapped and he's related that back to their promise that she needs a hero. He's being her hero.

Okay, we're getting to the meat of things now.

First, fucking ouch, he definitely looks pained, meaning that whole manoeuvre wasn't as smooth as he pretended. As they slow down, he puts a bracing hand against the ground to prevent him rolling onto Tifa (because he's a gent and also toting a sword that weighs more than Barret lol).

What's interesting is where his left hand is in this. Make a note: middle of her back. Tifa's head is tucked into Cloud's neck – safety move, so nothing big there. I've seen some people note Tifa's leg is between Cloud's, but I'm gonna discount that as the way they've locked together during the roll. It's unintentional.

Oh, but this isn't! Cloud has absolutely no reason to put his hand back on Tifa. He could leave it lying flat on the ground. You could argue he needs both to help her get off him, but she's on top. She can do that herself. He has no further need past the initial save to have his hands on her, unless that's what he wants. Obviously we can't see his face in this because of Tifa's hair, but this, combined with the next screen tell a very definite story.

He moved his hand! That left hand, he didn't need to move it up in such a caressing gesture. Coupled with the very intense gaze he gives her, I was swooning like a maiden wearing a too tight corset lol

Now, you could argue he's just concerned, it's a high tension situation. Well, I argue that every single trope using this kind of scene results in sexual tension/flustered characters and/or a kiss. Remember, right at this second, he has no reason to still be lying with her like this. In fact, him moving his hand further up her back is a bracing gesture that would keep her close, not release her. Tifa's fists are balled against his chest, which signifies she's protecting her hands – she's a hand-to-hand fighter remember -- but her face is relaxed. She's not feeling awkward or eager to escape.

Eye contact!! Can I just leave it at that? No? Cloud isn't actually the type to keep prolonged eye contact. Oh, did you think I was about to say something else? Well, for literally anyone who hasn't paid attention to him, Cloud often looks away when he feels awkward, flustered, unsure, basically any negative emotion. The only time he looks anyone in the eye is when he's confronting them or at ease. Remember, even when Jessie teased him about smiling during chapter 4 he looked away, embarrassed. Cloud doesn't handle eye contact well. Which is why this is such a huge deal. He's keeping prolonged eye contact with Tifa. He doesn't look away from her eyes when he asks if she's ok. And that question – ah my heart! So soft and tender. You can hear the care and concern in his tone. It anchors the entire scene from start to finish. Everything he just did was because he cares about Tifa and wants to look after her. He wants to make sure she's ok, even if it means he suffers for it. Pretty sure some people will disagree with this, but the damn man wore a dress and went through a humiliating dance routine – humiliating for him, I fucking loved it – just to save her. His first words in Wall Market are he wants to save Tifa, but Aerith cuts him off before he can finish the sentence.

These are the moments that I have to go back over a million times to catch. Check the tiny eye narrowing and uplift at the corner of his mouth. She said she's ok and he's happy about it. He's her hero – in not so many words. Tifa's shaky reply and pale face confirm her shock and fear, but also you can see an easing of the tension in her. There's a subtle softening of her muscle definition and facial expression that displays the trust and belief she has in Cloud that he'd look after her. This is a very mutually appreciative moment between them. Definitely not one sided.

And then the moment is over, without any flustered blushing or stammering, and thank God there wasn't because that would be so ooc I just can't with it. Cloud, despite being an awkward af dork who doesn't know how to deal with women hitting on him, doesn't turn into a flustered 14 year old trying to tell his crush he's leaving Nibelheim whenever they have contact. We've already seen smooth!Cloud giving Tifa a flower and complimenting her like a cheeky bastard. He can handle being around her because he feels comfortable. He can compliment her because of that, too. He might be slightly separated from those childhood feelings, but they're in there and they're motivating him to be outgoing towards her. To show her the cool SOLDIER he became that's worthy of being beside her.

But, yeah, back to the point. The moment is over. Or is it? Because that is some very further prolonged eye contact between them when there doesn't have to be. Tifa moves back, Cloud moves forward, they're both getting up and yet, they're both looking at each other. I don't know about you, but I find it easier to look where I'm going when I've fallen on my ass and need to get up. I sure af don't stare longingly into someone's eyes like I can't bear not to.

And now it really is over because right after this the mechs arrive. But before that, some more prolonged eye contact. There literally is no need for them to do this at this point. Tifa looks pensive, but I think that's her default tbf. Yet, at the same time, there's an intensity in her gaze like she wants to say something – maybe it's just a thank you, that would turn into a flirty conversation of some sort “you didn't need to do that,” “I wanted to” kind of deal – so it makes sense they're interrupted because Square said they didn’t want to overdo the amount of Cloti content they added and this is already a very charged scene.

Meanwhile, Cloud is looking at her like she's his entire world and he's just waiting for her to realise it. There's an aura of expectation in his pose and face. They're both crouching in mirrored poses, which as some of you may know is what you do when you're trying to build rapport with someone. It's basic body language building blocks. Toddlers do this. They're both on one knee, slightly leaning forward. Now, if there was no rapport between them, if they wanted to end the moment, one of them would stand up, breaking the mirrored pose and cutting off eye contact. This would put one above the other and show an imbalance in their relationship. This doesn't happen. They both turn at the same time, rise at the same time and fight pose at the same time.

Conclusion:

Seriously? After all that you can't draw your own?

Ok, I'll be fair to the other side. Let's take away Cloud's history with Tifa – since that's the biggest argument for them: the childhood crush trope.

If Cloud and Tifa weren't friends, just colleagues on a mission, this scene would still be hella charged with sexual tension and implication that Cloud has a thing for her. Even if it's just basic sexual attraction, that's still attraction and a marker on the pathway to a relationship.

But, they are friends, so moving on.

Tifa is the more reserved one in this dynamic. She's naturally shy – it's canon – but even with that, she's affected by Cloud. She holds that eye contact. Her voice is equally soft as his. She mirrors his pose. She doesn't try to get away the second they stop moving. Cloud is the one to move things along, without awkwardness because he's comfortable with Tifa. He's not out of sorts having her lying on top of him – which you can argue means he's not interested, but I literally just pointed out all the ways in which he is into her. Being comfortable in someone's company doesn't mean a person isn't attracted to them. If I had to stick a pin in Cloud's sexuality I'd say he's on the demi scale, meaning he needs to have a deep emotional connection to whoever he's with before he falls in love with them. He's not a love at first sight kind of guy.

This fits with the childhood crush trope. Cloud's known Tifa for years and developed an attraction to her that still lingers, making a reconnection between them easier. He's not slobbering over her because he's Cloud and very stoic – I know people say his true self isn't like this, but it is only with more insecurity and desire to prove himself. He's still a very reserved guy with a dry sense of humour. He's prone to melancholy and self doubt, which is why his friends bolster his confidence so much.

Point is, everything in this scene showcases a deep and meaningful relationship between the two of them at its best, while at its most shallow it shows Cloud is sexually attracted to Tifa, which is something that could develop into a more meaningful relationship later. Either way, it's a marked moment in their interactions that Cloud's non-optional choices led to it. There's no either/or within this. It happened.

[inessencedevided]

The Untamed, episode 42 - watching notes

I was up playing partygames over discord until 3 am yesterday, so I didn't get to watch another episode. I complained about it to my friends, which in turn made them complain that I sounded like I would rather watch my "gay chinese fantasy show" than spent time with them. I contemplated saying yes, but decided to keep my friend instead :D

And we were currently in the middle of a confrontation with Jiggy (as I've been informed he's called ... what? ^^) who apparently murdered his son to keep some secret, which with how this shows is going, I wouldn't be surprised is them going full game of thrones and ... you know what I'm talking about

Oh right, Su She is there

He's the Jin Zixun to my wei Wuxian. As in, I can never remember his name or why I should care 🤷‍♀️

(But thus time I DO remember who he is. That is, after lwj said his name ^^)

I'm so sure that jgy hit all evidence by now, btw

Okay, no. his wife is still there

Su She might be an asshole but his hair piece is gorgeous :D

What does it say about me that my first thought about that dagger was COOL!!! 😱😱😱

How dare you take Wen Qing's name in vain! 🤬

😱

I thought she'd stab him!!! Not herself :'(

I'm a bit surprised that with 5 cultivators in the room, no one does more to save her

Oh, JGY is a damn good actor!! I mean we knew that before, but now his apparent confusion and grieve for his wife seems even more (dare I quote lwj?) shameless

Lan Xichen, i know you love him but ...

Fun fact: In German, we call fake tears "Krokodilstränen". Literal translation: "crocodile tears"

That's what this is 😐

Especially about the nie Mingjue

Poor Nie Huaisang 💔💔💔

"Taking the head. Who in the world would have done such an insane act?" GEE, I WONDER ...

Sorry, I still find jgy fascinating, but this is so uncomfortable to watch, knowing at least part of what really happened 🙈

Lord, give me the power to murder people with one gaze like Lan Wangji 🙏

This whole conversation is so supremely uncomfortable

I'm still unsure if Jin Guangyao really doesn't suspect that "Mo Xuanyu" isn't who he says he is or if it's just a very convincing act 🤨

Favourite trope: Hanguang Jun, Yiling Laozou's knight in shining armour

First of all: Hot

Second of all: Lwj internally: DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING TOUCH HIM I ONLY JUST GOT HIM BACK AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN MADE OUT YET

probably

Also, for a split second there, you saw Jiang Cheng leap forward with a real look of concern on his face, like his first instinct was to help wwx himself 🥺🥺🥺

HE'S USING SUIBIAN AGAIN!!!

This feels so huge! 😱

I'm weirdly emo about a sword rn :')

His cover is blown of course

And him and Jin ling just had a good relationship :(

NHS, JL and JGY: How could it BE that this is Yiling Laozou???

Meanwhile Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng

"With the right kind of sacrifice, it can safe one who was seriously injured." Is this another instance of "we can't say this it's necromancy because censors, but y'all damn well know this is necromancy because no one falls down a cliff and then lies there "seriously injured" for goddam 16 years"?

I'm all teary eyed at lwj not even hesitating to flee with wwx :')

Jin Ling 💔🥺

Fuck you Jin Guangyao for playing at his pain!!!

Omg they're as good as holding hands!!! 😭😭😭

Of course, wax is pushing lwj away, OF COURSE. Self-sacrificing idiot!

That mask reveal was *chef's kiss* the drama! The gasps! The ... long-suffering "here we go again look" from lan Xichen :D

I LOVE IT WHEN LWJ SPEAKS UP!!

"You're wrong."

So simple. Yet saying so much: "I kniw him. I trust him. I chose this."

And OF COURSE Wei Wuxian gives him another way out

BUT THESE TWO FINALLY GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER AND COMMUNICATE THEIR THOUGHTS! FINALLY!

"Did you believe in me back then?" YES, I WAS JUST TOO AFRAID TO SAY IT,SO MY CONCERN CAME OUT AS ANGER 😭😭😭

And the single logged bridge again 😭😭😭 I adore that metaphor! And I love that they chose to show us the flashback. Because last time, wwx and lwj parted, took different roads so to speak, one the one of defiance, the other the one of orthodoxy. Neither wanted to part ways, but neither probably thought that they had much of a choice. But they did have a choice and they made it. And lwj has already expressed his regret over that. So here he is again, using his second chance without a thought.

Because lwj believes that wwx is right, MORALLY, so he will go against his clan, reputation be damned, and stand with the man he loves ... finally. He'll choose what they both believe to be right and walk with him "until it's dark" :')

And THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS SO MUCH!! It's not just that "oh they're so cute and they compliment each other so well, they must be soulmates uwu". Most of all they share a common morality!!!

I'm so goddamn amazed at this ship! This is not I was thought I was getting when I boarded it, but goddamn it I'm loving the ride! 😭😭😭

And .. just, the look in Lan Wangji's eyes ... they have 50 swords drawn on them, but guessing from the look on his face and the softness of his gaze they might as well be at their wedding 😭😭😭

He looks like a man entirely at peace with his decision :')

Just ...

Look

At

THEM!!!

They're holding hands in that last shot!!!! 😭😭😭

I'm absolutely floored at how utterly beautiful this scene is! "Romantic" seems too insignificant to describe it. It feels more like 42 episodes worth of love and pining and misunderstandings coming to their natural conclusion

My heart is so full right now guys :')

Very nice of these 50 people to wait for their moment to pass before attacking. Very considerate 😁

"Are we going to fight or not." "Too much talking" I WANT 50 EPISODES OF THESE TWO BICKERING!!! 😭😭😭

Jin Ling :'(

Noooo

No

Noooo

I don't know who my heart is bleeding for more here

Jin ling doesn't deserve to have to shoulder his parent's and uncle's pain :'((

All this supporting each other when injured? That's the good stuff

And those flashbacks ... wwx finally FINALLY realizes that lwj never hated him for his actions, he was afraid for him :')

Tbf,the guy has a sliiiight communication issue 😐

That quote about how lwj is at his side now that everyone else despices him!! That's it THAT'S THE SHIP!!😭😭😭

Oh, lwj took him back to cloud recess

I'm surprised he was allowed to, tbh

Ooh, so Mo Xuanyu knew something!

And... someone else must now know about him?

Also, I didn't realise that wwx still had a cut from the curse

I gotta take a moment to scream about HOW UTTERLY DOMESTIC AND AT EAS THESE TWO NOW ARE WITH EACH OTHER!!! 😭

XICHEN!!!

I should have known that the OG wangxian shipper would support them

But he still trusts Jin Guangyao. Not that I'm surprised

It's so weird to see anyone on this show in trousers btw 😅

"You're more than I can handle." Lol ^^

"You trust Master Wei, while I trust Jin Guangyao." Oh boy ...

I feel like this might be more of a confrontation than these two brothers had in their entire lives

Love me some detective-wwx

Poor Xichen 😔 he doesn't want to believe it

Somehow, wwx with a white underrobe makes me think "that's what he looks like when he and lwj accidentally swab robes" :D

Uuuh! The restricted section forbidden chamber!

So ... jin Guangyao somehow got this piece of music from the lan library?

But he's good! He's really good! He consistently uses others weaknesses and prays on them so that they act in a more extreme manner, but not so much that others would suspect foulplay. Case in point: nie Mingjue's death by anger and (more recently) the way he played towards Jin ling's feelings.

Aaaand another rather abrupt end in the middle of a conversation. That's one thing this show does not do well 😅

Anyway, I'm not complaining this episode send my shipper heart (BECAUSE I'M SO DWEP DOWN THIS RABBIT HOLE AT THIS POINT) fly with joy!!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony @kyrrahbird @i-love-him-on-purpose 🖤💙🖤💙

[morallygreyprompts]

Is asking for more Bounty Hunter asking for too much?

Absolutely not! There’s never enough bounty hunter and tbf I should probably use them more. I’ve only done one storyline with them. I am in love with this storyline, so if you want more, my goodness just ask.

Villain was losing their patience. And if someone didn’t remedy that soon, people were going to get hurt.

“I’ll ask once more. Where is [Sidekick]?!” Villain seethed, lifting the gang leader off the ground by the front of their shirt and holding half of their body over the edge of the building.

“I swear I don’t know!” they shrieked. “Don’t drop me! Please, I don’t know. My boys haven’t had a run-in with them for weeks- I swear. P.Please! Let me go-Safely! And uh, I. I can look around. Yeah. Yeah, I can help you look.”

Villain tossed them back onto the rooftop and righted their shirt. “Then get looking, [Leader], or I’ll find a taller building.”

The leader had the sense to run away before Villain could change their mind. Villain groaned. “Where are you, [Sidekick]?”

Their ears pricked up hearing a yelp. It sounded like the leader. Villain was curious and went toward the stairs. “Didn’t fall down ‘em, did you? You’re no use to me with a broken-”

Villain paused seeing a stranger hogtying the leader.

Villain wasn’t naïve enough to wait around. They took off running, hoping to use the fire escape at the other side of the street.

They only made it halfway across the massive row of buildings when they heard a hollow whistle gaining upon them. They turned their head just in time to see a bola rope headed to their legs. Villain leapt to the side and managed to avoid the first one. 

“Shit!” they exclaimed.

They kept running, zig-zagging a little just to try to make it harder for them to get tangled in the ropes flying toward them.

Villain was almost at the stairs so they had to slow down. It was at that moment a bola rope latched onto their knees and made them trip over. Villain yelped, hitting their head off the ladders. It disorientated them badly and slowed everything around them with a distant buss, but instincts kept them going. They tried to reach for the ropes, but with their double vision, they were grabbing only air.

They groped around until they were able to get the rope and they tried to unwind it. Their thoughts were too indistinct for them to figure it out. All they were doing was tightening it. The next thing they knew hands were on them, brutal and focused, shoving them down, and yanking their arms behind their back and tying them in place. Villain called out for help, but it came out as a sluggish moan. They tried to roll over, to get up, but a sharp knee pressed into the small of their back.

“G.Get off me!” Villain exclaimed. Their face drooped with nausea as they realised blood was dripping over their eye from their forehead. As if to add to their humiliation, their head was pulled back and a gag forced into their mouth, more like a muzzle with a wooden mouthpiece. It hit off one of their teeth, adding another spike of pain to their face.

The stranger above them said nothing, the only noise was their heavy breathing from the pursuit. They took a moment to check Villain’s bindings before throwing them over their shoulder. A dark wave washed over Villain’s vision, and they realised when they were in the back of a van, that they’d passed out. Leader was beside them, shouting through their gag and writhing around.

Villain stayed still, their head hurting too much for them to want to struggle. Their shoulders ached now their wrists were tied to their ankles from behind. It brought a painful ache to their back too. They tried to brush their fingertips across the knots, to see if there was anything they could do to loosen them. One knot was within reach, but unpicking it was going to be a nightmare. Still, they were patient, and they set to work.

The gang Leader grunted at them and shuffled closer to them and fell on their side, facing away from Villain. Villain realised they were trying to grab onto Villan’s knots. Villain gave them cautious access. They began to unpick them with an equally skilled hand. 

It must have been a solid ten minutes until Villain’s hands were free. They hurried to get the gag out of their mouth and winced, working their jaw in circles. Leader grunted impatiently so Villain leaned over and took their gag out. “Shh,” they reminded them.

“The whispers were true,” Leader mumbled. “It’s the bounty hunter.” 

“Bounty- why didn’t you tell me this when I asked where Sidekick was?” Villain hissed.

“Cos’ I didn’t believe it. Now untie me. Come on, we gotta go.”

Villain nodded and first unpicked their ankles. Then they started to work on Leader’s now incredibly tight-knotted bindings.

“Idiot,” they mumbled.

The van stopped and they both paused for a moment. Traffic light? No, the engine was switched off.

Villain stood up. They had no weapon, but they picked up the rope they’d been tied with. At least there was a chance they could strangle them or take them by surprise.

The door van door opened, but it wasn’t from the back like Villain expected. It was a side door. A weight threw itself onto Villain, and despite the throbbing in their head, Villain fought tooth and nail. They were able to grab someone by the throat, forcing them down, but more hands appeared and latched onto their arms. They quickly lost their advantage as they were dragged out into the light. The strangers held on fast to their arms and forced Villain down onto their knees.

“Well, you didn’t disappoint,” the first stranger said, the one who’d caught them in the first place. Villain snarled and tried to get up, but a knife appeared at their throat. Villain opened their mouth slightly, looking down at the blade, the yellow light glinting off it from the building. With slow movements, they eased themselves back down onto their knees. It was only then they dared to look back up at this… bounty hunter.

“It was you that took [Sidekick], wasn’t it?” they growled.

They nodded. “Put up just as much as a fight as you. I’m impressed.”

“What have you done with them, you piece of-”

Without so much as a nervous movement, the bounty hunter struck them across the face. Villain groaned in pain, sure they were seeing stars.

“Retie them. Let’s take them to see their sidekick,” they smirked.

Like my stuff and want to support what I do? Then maybe consider buying me a Kofi? Ko-fi.com/morallygrey

[calliecat93]

Dexter Grif Analysis, Part Two (Sorta)

I had been thinking of doing a follow-up to my Grif Analysis from last year... but this past season didn’t really provide much for Grif. At least, not enough for me to really do a full-on Grif: S17 Analysis. Maybe I’ll do one for Donut, haha. However we DO have the finale with him and Kai, and that IS analysis worthy. I already talked about it some, but I’m gonna do Grif more specifically and how this affects his characterization, both past and future.

Okay, so in the finale, we find out that all along, the draft story was a lie and that he indeed enlisted. Now, this debunks canon that people have been going by for many years now, though tbf the draft was NEVER brought up in canon until now while the enlistment was brought up at least twice (the very first episode and in S16). Not even the Fanguide mentioned it. Still, it does still debunk what people had been going by for a long time, so... what does this do to the character?

Well, let's think about it. So we all know that Grif had a shitty home life from what has been said in canon. His parents preferred Kai over him. His father was ’unstable’ and probably not in the picture much, especially since neither he nor Kai mention him in the S17 finale. His mother was a circus performer who also ‘turned tricks behind the Elephant cages’. He had to take care of Kai more or less on his own despite being... what, two or three years older most likely. And if The Labryinth is anything to go off on, he had an asshole gym teacher who more or less bullied him on some level, and who knows how many other people treated him like shit for whatever reason.

Grif’s life sucked, and there was nothing that he could do about it. He had no control over the situation and no way out of it. And as much as he loved his sister, his mom couldn’t give him what he wanted, and he knew it. So he tried to find a way to get what he wanted. To have some form of structure in his life. A way to take control and not have it be shitty. So he tried college away from Hawaii, and that didn’t work. I imagine that Grif didn’t have the motivation to put effort into his studies cause... well he’s a lazy person who hates all fo that, even if he is smarter and more fit than he’d ever admit. I mean, while it was from a PSA and technically not canon, he was smart enough to at least get accepted into Harvard. But it didn't work, and Grif had two options: go back home and resume his shitty life or try something else. He chose the latter, and he decided on enlisting.

One problem though. Telling Kai that he was leaving to go to college? That was probably something that she could understand. But the military? Which, if you recall, was at a time of a massive war. Grif could easily die, and as such, he’d have to tell his family about why he’d want to drop out of school and enlist. Which would be the right thing to do... but Grif would more or less have to tell his own sister that he wanted away from home and to have his own life. So, because Grif is an idiot who sucks at dealing with emotions, he decided to lie about it. He got drafted. He was leaving because he was being made to, not because he wanted to get away from his life. He now could avoid what would be a very painful conversation of trying to explain to Kai everything and risk upsetting her or make her feel like he was abandoning her willingly. He would never intentionally do that. He loves Kai more than anyone else. But she was a part of a life that he was tired of, and to get the structure that he felt that he needed, he had to leave her behind. And having to admit that to her was simply something that he couldn’t do. Lying was easier.

And what happened after? His life got worst. He was pushed even more than he likely was in school and he hated it. He found out about his family home being set on fire, and he felt too guilty to go back or reach out, and that’s even if he could by that point due to the military. He couldn't just quit one he enlisted, after all. If you believe the fanguide, he got sent to a doomed colony where he was likely miserable AND everyone but him ended up dead. Then after that, he’s re-assigned to Red Boot Camp and thus sold off as a SIM Trooper without even knowing it. And thus, Blood Gulch happened where he was surrounded by people that he hated and who hated him. Yeah, they cared about each other eventually, but still. Oh and then his sister shows up and now he had to make sure that she stayed safe AND avoid bringing up anything.

In other words, Grif quit on his family because he was sick of the constant struggles and tried to do what he wanted. As it turned out, what he thought was better for him wasn’t. It just left him miserable. And it wasn’t the last time that he did this. Look at Season 15. The season where he quit the team, essentially leaving behind his makeshift family. Why? Because he was sick of the constant struggles and decided to do what he wanted. In this case, he actually DID tell them to their faces the reason why instead of lying like he did with Sister, but it’s still Grif deciding that he’s had enough and doing something for himself. And, like before, it made him miserable. He no longer had anyone. There were no more adventures, but he also had no one with him but himself. That drove him crazy. He can’t stand being alone. He loves the Reds and Blues, and he realized that he needed them. It’s why he went back and he apologized the first chance that he got. 

He shouldn't have left the Reds and Blues, and that’s how he felt about Kai. He shouldn’t have left. It’s hard to not blame Grif for his choices. because... yeah, he had every right to call bullshit on a life that he hated and try to change it. Both times. But both times, he found himself in something worst and was just as unhappy as he was before as he found himself in situations beyond his control. It’s like no matter what he did, he couldn’t escape it. He was always going to be like a pinball, knocked around over and over no matter what he did. The fact that he never just tried talking out never helped. He never talked his feelings out to Kai. He never talked them out to the Reds and Blues. He kept running form his problems instead of just getting it over with to get through it as quickly as possible.

While S17 didn’t do a very good job of illustrating Grif’s development, it was still there. He had quit complaining about his the constant work, for example. And I think that the finale does illustrate that on some level, he did learn. He ends up in Kai’s Labryinth, and he finally decides to come clean about everything. How he lied. How he was unhappy and tried to find more structure for his life. How he hadn’t meant to cut Kai out, and he felt too guilty to bring anything up himself. And he outright says that whenever Kai wants to talk about it, he’ll do it. He’s willing to talk the feelings out, both his own and Kai’s. He never would have done this in the beginning of the series, not even with his own sister because he always avoided those kinds of talks. He did talk his feelings out some with Simmons in S15, which was a good step, but he still avoided talking in depth about it by just saying that he hated everyone, but he still needed them and was their ‘hateglue’. Yeah imo, he just said that as a copout to avoid talking any further about his actual feelings about the constant adventures, which he did finally talk about with Huggins a season later. So this is a big step forward for him as a person since he’s at least now willing to talk to his sister about everything.

So how does this affect Grif’s characterizaiton? I don’t think it changes too much. I mean, yeah he wasn’t drafted which may affect things some fan perceptions. But it is still using what’s been given in-show for him. He was still essentially forced into things beyond his control over and over again, even after his military service was more or less over. He never got anything out of it, at least at first. Remember how Doc didn’t mention him when he pointed out how everyone got what they wanted in S10? Yeah, because Grif hadn’t. He hated the military and was only then starting to not hate the people that he was stuck with. Has he gotten what he wanted now? To an extent. He has people that he loves and realized that he didn’t want to be without. He’s actually trying to work through problems now and starting to realize that he needs to talk shit out instead of avoiding it. But he still hates the constant adventures and he’s not 100% there yet, but he’s certianly progressing. Kind of like how Tucker has still been progressing these past few seasons. I’d say that at this point, Grif is starting to find that structure and is certianly int he place that he needs to be. The structure is still a little shaky and incomplete, but it’s certianly a work in progress.

Simply, Grif is in a better place than he had been before. As I said, he’s still got progress to make and S17 could have done a better job in that area, but he’s certianly on his way. I think what has to happen with him now is for him to start opening up to the others more like he was able to with Huggins, or at the very least to someone like Simmons or Kai. He can't control them getting dragged into another adventure, but if he can vent it out and have that support, he can endure it. He may still moan and groan about it some, but he’s not going to quit anymore, he’s going to work through it as quickly as he can. He’s becoming better, now he just needs to find some form of stability.