tea-with-evan-and-me

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

TY Byebyebirbo for the idea!

Flash! Flash! Crack! Flash!

Screams of people quickly became overwhelming, the flashes blinding as the press leaned over the barrier, hoping for the best shot. The best shot? Out of the fifty thousand fucking angles they all had, it was the same fucking photo! The same FUCKING PHOTO! Evan felt his cheeks burn with the effort of holding some kind of half-smile.

From the screams, the odd question hit him: where was his girlfriend? Evan, over here! Evan, where is she? Did you know she’d cheated, Evan? Evan, Evan, EVAN –

“STOP! JUST STOP!”

Luckily, Evan hadn’t yelled that aloud. But he did walk off the red carpet and bypass every single journalist that was supposed to have five minutes of his time without a single glance. He couldn’t do it anymore. It was over.

“Evan! EVAN!” Jennifer, his handler for the night, caught him up. “Evan, you’re needed at –“

“Respectfully, Jen, I’m fucking done. Goodnight.”

“What the –“ Evan sidestepped her and left, shoving his way into the event so he could leave out the back.

It was too much. City life, he loved, but the press obligations, the fans… too much. He didn’t do anything to warrant people turning up at his door, having found him somehow… he didn’t do anything to deserve people following him home, or stalking him for a photo, or casually bumping into him when all he wanted to do was take a walk to clear his head after a Ryan Murphy special. And Ryan’s scrips were becoming more and more tedious. Pushing limits that firstly weren’t there, and secondly didn’t need to be fucking pushed. He wanted to do a simple rom-com, something that Hugh Grant would have done backflips over… but his agent refused to let him be cast in anything other than weird horrors. Even the X-Men had been his agent’s limit.

Perhaps it was the moment he did Ariana Grande’s music video. That was the closest he’d actually been to a rom-com… and it had given him two things to consider. The first, he definitely wanted to do softer roles that didn’t involve fake blood. The second, he fucking hated the fast-paced city life he’d had to install himself in just to keep up with the industry.

That’s why he found himself on a plane headed somewhere cold, where he could be cosy and unrecognisable under hats and scarves, and where hopefully, no-one would know who he was…

Anonymity… that was his next goal.

Evan’s plane touched down in Minneapolis, and he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. That weight lifted more when he left the airplane, and more still when he collected his suitcases from the belt. By the time he’d gone to pick up the truck he’d bought from an online seller, he felt practically weightless. Especially when he’d handed over the cash to the kid who told him he finally had enough cash to take a flight to college… Evan couldn’t stop smiling as he hit the highway with a full tank of gas, headed north to Moose Lake. Two hours on the road… he couldn’t stop grinning.

But when he turned on his phone to check directions about forty minutes in, his good mood vanished. Katy, his girlfriend who’d practically had sex with a showrunner on Instagram Live, tried to call him. Notifications flooded through… the only person he’d told he was leaving was his mom. Everyone else? No. They could find out when he got a place. If he got a place… that part of the plan wasn’t set in stone yet. Moose Lake could be a hellhole.

“Evan?! What the fuck, Evan?! Where are you?!” Evan’s heart dropped, and he nearly lost control of the car. His finger had slipped and hit ‘answer’ by mistake!

“Katy.”

“Where the fuck are you?! Why did you run out last night?! Where’s your fucking stuff?!”

“I’m done, Katy. With all of it. I’m tired.”

“Then we’ll take a fucking holiday somewhere –“

“I’M TIRED!! You won’t fucking get it, Katy! You never listen – I’m through doing all of it! I want my peace for a bit! And I don’t mean a month-long binge in Cuba!” He thought for a moment, as she started spewing solutions to his problems that wouldn’t work if he’d even tried. “And I’m done with you. You’re a cheat. And I’m stupid if I stay in New York, and stupid if I stay with you.”

Silence. Evan let himself breathe. The scenery around the truck was stunning. This was a good idea.

“Alright then. If that’s how you feel.”

“It is.”

“Right. Then I guess there’s nothing left for me to say other than have a nice fucking life, and forget about me.”

“Who?” Evan grinned. Katy slammed the phone down, but not before the scream ripped through the air. He pulled a strawberry lace out of the pack he’d bought for the plane, and ate it, chuckling to himself as he turned up the radio and started singing along.

**

Moose Lake was gorgeous. Evan followed the GPS to a little bed and breakfast, and left his cases in the car while he went in to see if there was a free room.

“Hi there! Welcome to The Antlers Inn!” The lady behind the desk was adorable, and Evan immediately felt at home – like he’d found a momma he didn’t know he had. “How can I help you, gorgeous?”

“Oh… er,” Evan began. “I don’t have a reservation. I just arrived in town.”

“Well, you’re in luck to have come in our down season. How many nights you need, hon?”

“How many do you have?” he chuckled. The woman’s eyes widened. “I’ve got money. It’s just while I look for a permanent place to stay.”

“Right you are,” the woman smiled. “Well, I can do you a single room with a beautiful view up in our attics. We tend to keep that one free for family, but they just left, so we don’t expect to see them for a little bit. Name, sweetie?” Three nicknames in as many minutes. Evan adored it already.

“Er… Evan. Peters.”

“Evan Peters… You got some ID on you, Evan, sweetie?” Evan handed over his ID, smiling. “You look like the weight of the world has just left your shoulders.”

“It has.”

“Well, good for you!” She typed in some information from his ID, and then printed something off. “My name’s Portia Jones, I’ll be here all day – except for when I’m not, then you’ll have to wait, or call me. Or call my daughter, she’ll be here.” Evan nodded. “Right. Credit or debit card?”

“Credit.” He handed over his card again. This woman had no clue who he was… he grinned.

“You’re gonna make me faint with that smile, sweetie,” Portia enthused. “We don’t get handsome young things from out of town like you very often.”

“Well, it’s not every day I get to meet charming young women like you, Miss Jones.” Portia burst out laughing, and placed her hand over her ample chest, blushing.

“Be still my heart, Miss Jones! That’s my daughter! You let my husband hear you talking like that, he’ll think I’ve lost my damn mind!” She handed him a slip of paper, and a key. “Although, he might learn a thing or two on how to be a sweet little charmer.” Evan chuckled, taking the key. “Come on. I’ll show you up.”

The room was gorgeous – not overlooked, except for the small balcony that sat one single chair and a small table. Perfect for mornings writing, or reading with a coffee. The bed was a queen-size, comfortable and with plenty of furnishings. There was a bathroom, with a neat tub Evan would just about fit in. The other windows were skylights, and Evan felt a shiver of joy that he’d be able to see the fucking stars for once… he grinned.

“It’s perfect, Mrs Jones, thank you,” he said.

“You hungry? I’m just about to start the sandwich orders for lunch. I can bring you up a nice meatball sub?”

“You really are after my heart, aren’t you?” Evan beamed.

“Good lad. Get some good meat on those bones in no time.” Portia left him to it, chattering away to herself as she went down the stairs. He couldn’t help but feel that this really was the best decision he’d ever made…

More so when he went outside to fetch his bags in, and several teen girls greeted him… and did no more than giggle. They didn’t scream, or yell, or beg for a selfie. But then, when he waved back, they froze, and gave him snotties.

They were greeting the absolute hulk of a man behind him, who was hauling a load of firewood from the back of a bigger truck.

“Hi there!” the man called, as Evan wheeled his cases to the front door. “Wouldn’t mind holding this door for me, would you, friend?”

“Oh! No, just a second – let me drop these in the lobby,” Evan smiled, and hurried himself. He abandoned his bags, and then left to help the guy, holding the door as instructed.

“I always tell Portia to leave the damn door open for me, but she never does!” The sacks of logs hit the ground, and the man extended a rough, callused hand. “Thanks, bud. Where are you visiting from?”

“Looking for a new place to live, actually. I’ve come from New York City. Evan.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m James. Take my advice, and leave it ten years, til you’re in your forties, to settle somewhere like this.” James gestured around.

“I’m thirty-eight,” Evan replied. “And I’m tired.”

“Then son,” James smiled. “I want your skincare regime. Because you don’t look a day over thirty. Come on, let’s get inside – see if Junebug can bring us some coffee.”

James and Evan rounded to the front of the inn, and Evan pushed the door open while James kicked the mud from his boots. As he opened the door, it hit something, and then someone almost hit the floor – but he caught whoever it was, and stopped it from happening. And then, he fell over his suitcases, and near crushed the poor girl beneath him.

“Ough!”

“Shit! Sorry!” Evan breathed. He looked down properly… and his heart stopped.

Looking up at him from behind a mess of dark curls, with angry ablaze baby blues –

“Junebug! Still tripping over those big ass clown feet, I see!”

“Fuck off, James, this asshole smacked the door into me!” Before Evan could react, James hauled him up and off the floor, and then reached down and hauled June up by the wrist. “Sent me flying over these!” she gestured to the suitcases, shaking her head. “Although whoever left these here is also an asshole…”

“This asshole is so sorry,” Evan said softly. “Truly. I didn’t expect anyone to be around – it’s so quiet –“

“I’m joking with you,” June grinned. “Don’t worry about it! I always fuck around with James’ friends.” James folded his arms. “Even ones I haven’t met.”

“We’re not friends,” Evan said, smirking. “I’m the asshole who left these.” He patted the cases.

Almost immediately, June froze up.

“Oh – my god, I’m so sorry!” she flushed, scrambling to get behind the desk as Portia arrived. “M-may I t-take your name?”

“Ah! Evan, hon! Here’s your sandwich, hot and fresh. James, that wood out there is just perfect! I swear, you’re weaving some magic with those trees! Have you met James, Evan, sweetie?”

“I have,” Evan beamed. But his eyes kept drifting towards June, who looked stunned.

“And he’s had the pleasure of meeting your loose little cannon.” James said, as June rolled her eyes and took the boxes of food from her mother. She left the room quickly, and Evan chuckled. “I’ve never seen her that silent.”

“Might be for the best…” Portia gave a look towards Evan, who was opening his sandwich. “Enjoy that, sweetie. James here will take those bags up for you.”

James’ turn to roll his eyes, but he did as he was told, calling out “You only pay me to bring your wood, Porsh!” as he left.

Part 2 coming tomorrow when my hands are not freezing off! Love, waffles and frietjes ~ Belgianon <3

FELL TO MY KNEES! belgianon has blessed us again!

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I can totally see Evan at a dive bar lmao what do you MEAN !!! They are the perfect place to people watch and observe! The sketchier the area the better. I hope Ev gets inspired for his future weirdo characters cause those places are RICH with inspiration lol.

i totally get this, anon! if you love to people watch, hit the dive bar in a sketchy area lmao and evan is not exactly a fancy dude in his day to day life, i can see him literally anywhere sitting at the bar with a beer in his hand, chilling.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

sry my last ask was vague lol I just lost most of my brain cells and half my will to live after watching Franny’s YouTube vid she just posted

😂 it’s fine, i just put it on and so far it seems kind of like.. typical fran fare? i don’t know. apparently she “cracked the financial code” and was able to get an apartment in los angeles while somehow only making 40k a year.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

The Reddit girls are going to lose their collective minds whenever news breaks that Natalie and Evan are engaged 🍿 and I will be LIVING.

can you imagine 😭 but… it’s rosa and evan 4eva!!

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

new fantasy: making out at a dive bar with evan while some boomers on welfare checks are fist fighting to creedance clearwater playing on the jukebox. i don’t even smoke but i just might.

i pictured it in my head, anon. absolute cinema

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Do we think Fran is doing ok… just like, generally

i gotta watch this asap lol

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Oh snap!

“Hulu Series: “The Beauty”

A new scripted series for Hulu and FX is looking for attractive background talent, aged 18–40. Talent will play patrons of an adult club. Shooting is Feb. 21 in New York City. Talent will be paid $181.50 for a 10-hour shoot, plus overtime.”

It just popped up in my casting call list. Will he be there? 🧐😜 you just never knowww 😁

ooh! 👀 who's gonna make that $181.50 and potentially play alongside evan at an adult club...

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

February 2025. Still sad about Evan’s nose job

it's a forever sadness. still love you evan

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Is Marlon still alive? (please say yes)

the old man was still a living legend as of 2023, with evan's parents.. but i haven't heard a peep about him either way since :( i like to think he's still kickin'

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I was investigating a little like everyone does on here occasionally and her friend Kian is in Pennsylvania right now too per his latest IG post. I think something big might be going on. I think the person who sent that to Deux might have been onto something. 💍 💒 The fandom is probably about to implode. I am willing to bet there’s going to be an official announcement when they step out together publicly. 👀 and tbh I hope so. The speculation needs to end.

i seeee 👀 great catch anon. can you imagine? the meltdowns would be for the ages lmao and the cope. if they're engaged, i'm already calling it.. some people will definitely deny it being real.

but in all seriousness, if evan is engaged, it would be great to know he found someone he wants to settle down with and (hopefully) live a quiet, drama-free life with. i would hope the vast majority of fans would be happy to know this even if they felt a bit jealous (which is totally normal) particularly if they've been around since emvan and know how that nightmare panned out.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Hi how are you? do you think Evan has ever paid for sex? I know he doesn't need it, I'm not sure if I've ever read about a blind item, but I don't know if it's just in my head. I also don't know if he once said that we can only love once in a lifetime (remembering that I tend to make things up in my head and think it's real 😂)

i’m good, i hope you’re doing well!! i don’t think he’s ever said that lol as far as your question though.. who knows? a man paying for sex at least once in his life wouldn’t surprise me.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Geez admin, trigger warning on the pics today 🫣😂😵‍💫

sorry i went too hard with those reaction photos 😂😂

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Hi! It's been a while. I hope you're doing well! ❤️

thank you for checking in! i’ve been doing good, i hope you are as well 💗

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

https://www.reddit.com/r/EvanPetersTeapot/s/s7MWOziBBw

These people are beyond saving. Natalie went to Philly because some rando said they saw Evan there. Of course.

there’s no way these people legitimately believe this stuff. it’s just an insane amount of internet cope.. it has to be 😂 ain’t no way.

the most comical part is that they claim to believe natalie is literally.. stalking evan? in order to.. garner attention? from who.. them? no one else is that obsessed with her random whereabouts lmao so logic would tell you if they actually believed that natalie was posting things to trigger them talking about her, they would just take their hatefest private. no, the reality is she and evan are simply in a relationship and live together, so it makes sense that they���d be around each other a lot. not exactly conspiracy theory fodder.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

“it’s crazy to watch these people lose their minds in real time over evan peters being in a relationship with.. the most benign woman who does nothing to warrant their hatred and daily emotional outbursts”

Like them saying you bubble over with rage at any differing opinion is crazy 😂. They have breakdowns whenever Natalie breathes and get triggered by innocent comments like “they look cute together.” I mean they literally hate watch this blog lmao

right? their nervous system gotta be in shambles the way they freak out and start foaming at the mouth at any mention of evan and nat. as you said.. especially if it’s something positive or a compliment 😂 and i promise if anything on this blog caused me rage, i would simply leave lmao i’m not letting strangers on the internet affect my mood. this blog is for entertainment and enjoyment.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Whenever someone calls people out on that reddit sub and points out the misinformation/misogyny, they always immediately say that the person calling them out "must be tweam" like they have no other response. It's truly pathetic. And it's always the 40 year old women.

it’s funnier when you know that reddit is full of burner accounts that talk to each other 🫣 in all seriousness, you could not pay me to argue with these people, and i really don’t advise anyone to engage with that reddit at all. it’s not a place for constructive conversation, it exists only as an echo chamber for a handful of mentally ill women’s jealous rage word vomit.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

Man loves his seedy bars lol “Garage Fishtown” sounds like a dive 😂 Boo what you doing at these slum bars it’s so funny to me 😂😂

not me looking up garage fishtown and finding this in the reviews 😂 it’s perfect for our evvie.