#talk of depression
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I apologize for the depressing themes below. Read the tags.
I’m a people pleaser. I have been my entire life, bending over backwards for people, giving up things that I like/love because it gets in the way of others being happy, changing things about myself or things that I do because someone doesn’t like them. I know that I will continue to do this because of how I was treated growing up. I’ve stopped interacting with pages I love, that I adore (not just on Tumblr) because I feel nothing but shame, humiliation and embarrassment for the way I interact. I grow attached to pages for one reason or another and I hate it because I can’t find people to connect with because they don’t like the things that I like so I isolate myself and find things that I can enjoy in “secret” (ie nobody knows who I am). Since I started writing and posting updates about the various fics I have, I’ve been getting so much hate, insults and just horrible messages from people, not just on here but Ao3 as well. My email is visible (which I’m changing today) so I get nasty emails. This however is one thing I WILL NOT CHANGE. I refuse to change/edit/rewrite things that I’ve already done or plan to do. My writing is for ME. Yes it is in a specific demographic of people that also enjoy Outlast but my fics are for me. My most recent Franco fic contains actual real life stuff that’s happened to me (some things changed as I don’t want people to know exactly what happened to me) but it’s based off my life. I had debated putting a tag like that on the fic but decided against it and this post is the only way people will know about it. I’ve been called stupid all the way up to people telling me to k^ll myself (scherza su di loro, ci ho provato così chiaramente che l'insulto non funziona). My fics are also filled with some things that I want to happen in my life (happy things) that I know I will never get so I transfer it to writing so I can deal with the fact that I’ll never get it. But to sum this up, the people that send me anon asks, emails and whatever else they can do, I don’t fucking care. This is the one thing I have for myself and I refuse to give it up like I have so many other things in the past.
#outlast trials#outlast fandom#franco barbi#ao3#i hate my existence#hate myself#hate life#I’m not worth much#depression at its finest#talk of depression#talk of death
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William Afton lost two baddies in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#william afton#henry emily#mrs afton#clara afton#fnaf 4#afton family#William really lost the two people he considered somewhat equal to him#that must of been a blow to his ego#for Mrs Afton I assume his depression over losing her doesn’t set in till later#cause he gotta come to terms with he did actually love her#which is uncharacteristic of him least what he thinks#while Henry leaving was an immediate blow to his psyche#his parentership meant a lot cause I could see#Henry is one of the only people he thought was even worth talking to#that actually saw his visions#dude must of been a wreck after this lmao
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*has several debilitating disorders* idk maybe i'm just lazy
#cancelled my psychiatrist appt because i just couldn't get up and i felt i couldn't face her#she's probably mad with me now :/ she already talked to me about missing appointments but i just couldn't do it today#i fucking suck lol im disappointed in myself. my depression has gotten really bad lately which is all the more reason to talk to her but.#idk i've kind of given up also. i stopped therapy months ago. i dont think she was gonna really help me anyway tbh
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Just your average male living space.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen qing#lan wangji#A-Yuan#wei wuxian#(***Content warning for me talking about unhygienic living conditions in the tags today***).#The worst part of drawing this comic is that I've seen so much worse. This is a livable space.#I've helped out friends and family who were struggling and let me just say...I have seen some pretty dysfunctional living spaces.#Hell I've *lived* in some very dysfunctional living spaces.#Hording dishes under the bed was always something that grossed me out but it's unfortunately something I've seen people do way too often.#The horror everyone has upon walking into WWX's 'living' set up is so consistently 'Mate how are you living like this?'#It's honestly so integral to me that WWX's 'just left home for the first time' house/room be a depression/dysfunction pit.#You can learn a lot about someon's state of mind from how they keep their living space...and this guy is oozing 'deep depression'.#I don't think he's eaten anything but foods that classify as a struggle meal in a year.#Everyone is trying to stage an intervention but he just isn't in a good enough place to help himself.#By the way: I want to steer away from shaming people who have messy homes/rooms because life *does* hit hard sometimes.#My love language is coming into your home to do your dishes and do some housework. Don't apologize for the mess king.#Nothing could top some of the places I've had to help my older siblings out of.#I'd be okay with my flatmate having a severed limb and a blood pool at this point.#As long as he lets me take out the dishes from under the bed - We're good! My standards are so low at this point.
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When a cunty witch beats you to death then steals your boy toy for eternal torment 😢 (based on that 'don't you miss her???' meme)
#the og Pathetic Little Meow Meow#catwin#the cat king#thomas the cat king#edwin payne#edwin paine#dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives spoilers#dbda#dbda spoilers#crystal palace#niko sasaki#my art#i feel like we dont talk about the Cat King's depression outfit enough#its so horrible i love it so much those ugly fucking sunglasses#whats even the point his kept boy is off leash and being tortured by a woman in fishnets#catwin fanart
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“whats your plan b?” - suicide
#actually bpd#bpd feels#bpd thoughts#depressing shit#relatable#tw depressing thoughts#tasiblog#bpd#bpd safe#bpd stuff#borderline blog#borderline thoughts#bpd is a bitch#borderline personality disorder#actually borderline#bpd brain#bpd blog#bpd problems#suic1de#tw sui implied#tw sui talk#tw sui vent#tw bpd#tw bpd vent#bpd things#bpd life#bpd tag#bpd traits#bpd triggers#bpd tumblr
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in my portrait era it wld seem
choso and/or yuki request for anon <3
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#choso kamo#jjk choso#yuki tsukumo#im sorry art output has been so slow i am ~depressed~ lmao#no need to get into that tho gdhfg anyway i finally dragged myself out of the pool let's hope i can keep up the momentum before yuujis bday#i say with more free! visions on the backburner....like a liar....like a nasty liar who's been telling lies....#regardless i am happy i took a break from free for this ive always loveloveloved the lighting and colours in the choso/yuuji fight#monochrome cyan w hints of bruised purple/grey...beloved#wild tht the ref image only had water bouncing off him and not actually On/running down him . fixed that youre welcome smile#i always think i shld draw more choso and then i get to rendering his hair and i remember why i dont draw more choso#part of me cannot believe this man has so many dedicated fans w hair tht looks like this but im a megumi main im rly not one to talk#YUKI THO im so happy anon thank u fr requesting her shes so pretty i rly lov how her colours turned out as well#i was worried tht her hair wld look weird against the cool baby pinks/blues but she ended up looking very striking and cold#she looks like an albino rabbit 2 me she looks like a little freak and i love tht for her#berry tokyo mew mew if she had killed before and will kill again
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I should've never lived to see 2025.
#vent#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#tw sui talk#depressing shit#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#bpd#bpd vent#self h4te#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd splitting#self h@te#mentally tired#mentally fucked
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I fight so hard not to kill myself right now I swear
#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd safe#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#bpd#actually borderline#actually bpd#kinda depressing#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing life#depressing quotes#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#depressiv#suic1de#sui ideation#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied#sad thoughts#sadgirl#sad quotes#sadnees#i'm sad#sad grl
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Day by Day - Chapter 4
Previous Chapter
Chapter preview:
The following day wasn’t much better. Tim still felt low, still got annoyed by most things and wanted nothing more than to go home every minute of the day. He went to the library for solitude during lunch and then plodded through the last couple of lessons until the final bell rang to announce the end of the school day.
He still couldn’t go home yet though. As much as he wanted too, Tim had told the other teen he would help him and Tim knew he couldn’t back out on that. It wouldn’t be fair, despite his low mood and low tolerance he isn’t an asshole who is going to bail.
His body goes into autopilot mode as he makes his way to the library, having gone there nearly every day since he started school he knows where it is off by heart. He enters the place and scans the room looking for the other teen he was meeting. The library is currently pretty empty but considering the bell had only rang a couple minutes ago he’s expecting it to fill up a little more in a bit. Not finding who he was looking for, Tim makes his way over to his usual table near the back of the room and settles on one of the chairs around the table.
Tim keeps an eye on the students who walk through the door, looking for the one who he was meeting, thankfully he didn’t have to wait very long because a few minutes later he comes strolling into the library. The other teen pauses just away from the entrance and scans the room clearly searching for Tim, to make it easier for him Tim waves his hand to try and get his attention. Luckily it works as his head snaps straight to Tim’s table and with a smile the guy starts heading his way.
#day by day#tim drake#kon el#jason todd#bonding#brotherly bonding#developing friendship#low mood#talk of depression#fluff#fanfiction#would people rather i post the full chapter instead?#I'm not sure if this preview layout is working#feel free to let me know#timkon#dc comics#high school au
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I just wish somebody would reach out and ask if I'm okay before I reach for my knife and fucking kill myself
#bpd#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#boderline personality disorder#bpd problems#bpd vent#vent#vent post#tw sui talk#tw sui vent#tw sui ideation#depressive episode
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kim yoosung, the man of 1000 hobbies
#this is genuinely brightening my depressive episode#i love my boy ;;-;;#inspired by yoosung talking about his countless school clubs#artists on tumblr#fanart#mystic messenger fanart#mysme fanart#mystic messenger yoosung#mysme yoosung#kim yoosung#otome game#mystic messenger#mysme
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The first time I watched s4, I remember thinking this
was such strange blocking for Mike... Like why isn't he celebrating with the others?
Then I remembered the way he's been pulling away from everyone since s2. This is a perfect clue put in for the audience to realize/remember this.
He's not only being hidden from the audience, he's hiding himself from his friends as well!
Istg the blocking in this show is actually genius.
#i also think this is another clue towards his depression#he celebrated at first but he lost that energy quickly#hmmm wonder why#(depression it's depression)#mike wheeler#mike wheeler analysis#mike wheeler needs a hug#mike wheeler defender#mike wheeler defense squad#stranger things#byler#<— target audience#jay's talking ST <3#jay's saying stuff :)
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Just let me die already.
#depressing shit#bpd vent#tw depressing stuff#tw depressing thoughts#bpd#self h4te#actually bpd#vent#bpd thoughts#bpd splitting#tw sui talk#tw sui ideation
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sorry i talk about my mental illness so much, it just always seems to be on my mind!
#not mlm#dantes talking again#mental health memes#mental health jokes#recovery jokes#mental illness memes#actually bpd#bpd mood#bpd meme#bpd#depression memes#anxiety memes#ptsd memes
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when you are very bad for years, people no longer worry.
you become invisible, a ghost.
I can leave now, everyone has forgotten me.
#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd problems#bpd safe#bpd shit#bpd stuff#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#actually bpd#bpd#depressing life#kinda depressing#depressiv#tw depressing thoughts#tw depressing stuff#depressing quotes#sorry for being depressing#depressing shit#tw sui vent#tw sui talk#suic1de#tw sui ideation#tw sui implied
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