#low mood

[bodhrancomedy]

Catch me desperately googling “where is my local aquarium and do they let me pet the rays” at 10:30pm.

Previous google searches include, “Does Pets At Home let you hold the gerbils”, “What animals do Zoos let you touch” and “Nearest cats please.”

[lonelyandlostintime]

Being stupid enough to think anyone would actually miss or care if you were gone as if you aren’t everyone’s second or third option… everyone has their person I don’t need to be here for anyone

[well-thats-unfortunate-444]

not to keep talking about the same thing over and over, but fuck it this is my blog

ive convinced myself that anytime im sad or not particularly mentally well, its just bc of period hormones?

i was researching the effects of hormones on mood at varying stages of the cycle, and realised that the day i logged in my mood tracker as the start of me feeling shit was actually during the phase "typically associated with better moods"

maybe my brain will stop calling me a fucking liar now oml

[diamondshapedcat]

SZPD is just the worst

SZPD is that feeling in your heart where you know that there should be something there, some part of you that makes all the socialising decisions and brings all the energy needed to make connections and it's not there. You don't know what it's supposed to be or how it works, you just know that there's a hole that can't be filled.

And the worst part is that you can't talk about it because no one understands. There's a bar that's so low that most people can jump over without realising that it exists and people with szpd can't get past it. Ask any psychologist and they will say one of two things: I haven't heard of that before or I can't help you because I don't know how to. There is no cure, there is no treatment. Hell there isn't any real research being done because it's so rare.

To interact with the world it feels like you need at least some skill in making social connections and if you can't make that happen it feels like you don't belong anywhere and you don't really count as human.

I know that human connections are one of the most important things in this world so why don't I care about them?

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

i try to remind myself that just because im struggling, doesn't mean anyone deserves to be mistreated by me.

[nicistrying]

Sun 8th Sep

Nothing really to report, I just want to put my thoughts and feelings into the void to look back on later.

Woke up this morning feeling better than yesterday. Lay cuddling Maggie, went downstairs and watched the last episode of Bly Manor with a cup of tea. Did some housework. Got a little moody while doing it bc I remembered shitty comments my sister in law makes about the house a lot when we see her. I just think she's so fucking rude, we have a black long haired dog how are we going to have a spotless house. I clean it every fucking weekend but it literally lasts 10 minutes and everything is dirty again either from the man or the dog I live with. Anyway put my earphones in to drown out those thoughts, had a sing and dance while hoovering. Got dressed to go out to visit a load of family and got sad and overwhelmed. My mam told my nanna I would go visit her today too so we had 4 visits to do instead of 3 which would already have been tiring. So we visited step-grandma who is a pain in the arse like EVERYTHING is a drama with her she's so negative and it's exhausting (ik I can't talk atm I'm no better). Then Nanna Mary which did cheer me up a lot to be fair. She told us about her trip out to the museum with the blind society she goes out with 🥹 she's my hero. She's not blind or even partially blind, she just goes along for fun with her friend who is partially sighted. Then we went to Matt's parents' and that went pretty much how we expected it to. They were okay, it was just hard work. Then we went to see my mams and had a nice little catch up with them.

When we finally got home I was so exhausted I just crawled into bed. Had a cuddle with Maggie and got a bit sad, because I was lying in bed at 6pm duh. In hindsight I could have stretched or even just watched tv and I probably would have felt better but I just felt exposed downstairs and wanted to hide in my duvet. But I just keep thinking I still haven't had a 'day off' since before our honeymoon. Not one day where I haven't had to work, or visit someone, or go somewhere or do something. For like 3 weeks at least, and before that was the wedding. So yeah I think I'm just really tired and overwhelmed and I think that's okay. I just have to push through the work week and try to take care of myself gently, and next weekend I can relax. Matt is working all weekend so he'll have the car so I won't physically be able to go out to visit anyone lol. Anyway that's what's happening. Yo-yoing between 'I feel quite depressed and overwhelmed and shit so I must be lazy and shit' to 'it's okay that I feel shit and I just need to be nice to myself through it and try to do some things that will help'. I feel like I'm walking a veeeery thin line 😂

[justanotherbipolarmum]

Ever feel so flat that you can't even string a sentence together, the tone of your voice sounds so dead. Like there's no personality left.

[poetic-echoes]

It's not the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the mind and the scars on the mind.

Aisha Mirza

[i-will-slowly-heal]

When you don't feel like you can say how you feel so you come to Tumblr to find people as fucked up as you. You know shits bad

[averyroundsquare]

Beginning to hate everyone.

Getting irritable and disliking everybody.

Not sure what the problem is.

I know it’s depression creeping back in.

Tired of everybody being fake.

Tired of how the system is set up.

Tired of how selfish people are.

Tired of feeling like I don’t belong.

[self-motivationmedia]

We experience emotions, we are not emotions. One experiences anger but one is not anger. Allow yourself to experience the range of emotions, as humans we are meant to. ~ In Awe

[cursedcadaver]

being suicidal isn't always making plans and attempts to end your life.

it's also laying in bed, staring at nothing, with your brain screaming at you that everything would be better if your were dead and your mind playing images and ideas on never ending loops to push you over the edge.

[well-thats-unfortunate-444]

no what is this i always get worse before and during my period, to the point i would convince myself everything is fake and its just because my period is coming, even if it wasnt due for 2-3 weeks lmfao.

anyway so i was researching shit and apparently underlying issues (like mood disorders and traits of most disorders) can worsen because of the hormones released for menstruation and omg!!! why did nobody tell me this?

now im realising that the issues are continuously there, they just worsen so it feels sudden.

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

the mood swings im facing rn are actually debilitating i cant

one minute im fine and happy and i wanna do stuff and the next for literally no reason im hit with the overwhelming need to cry and i feel so tired and i dont wanna do anything it makes me feel physically ill but then im fine again and im vaguely happy and i wanna talk to people and-

all in the space of 20 minutes

[justanotherbipolarmum]

I feel inadequate as a woman as I'm struggling to fall pregnant.

This shit hurts.

[kristiani13]

Find the account yourself hahahaahhhaha