#take a wild guess who his dad is

[dovahsonaak]

Imperials: Skyrim belongs to the Empire

Stormcloaks: Skyrim belongs to the Nords

My half snow elf Dragonborn who may or may not actively be part of the dragon cult with a much worse third option:

[baltimorebullets]

I don't know how I'm feeling inside I don't know how I'm—

But I gotta go get it But I gotta go get it, I guess But I gotta go feel it But I gotta go get it

[taeyongdoyoung]

daddy's home

summary: boyfriendless, jobless and hopeless, you rush to take the first opportunity you find, which is a nanny position. but the kids are not the only ones you grow fond of... pairing: seungcheol x reader genre: fluff, smut, single dad x nanny AU warnings: kids (triggering, i know), age gap (unspecified), mentions of past cheating, abandonment issues, potential therapy, male masturbation, confessions, blowjob, kissing, eating out, protected sex (unbelievable), dirty talk, size kink, pet names (sweetheart, angel, darling, little girl), sir+daddy kink, unprotected sex (with baby-making goal), breeding kink, creampie, more kids (sorry im ovulating) author's note: this is loosely based on the sitcom the nanny in that there's a single dad with three kids but minus the dead wife trope cuz that's too depressing for my tastes word count: 4.3k

You are desperate. Your shitty boyfriend cheated on you, broke up with you and you also lost your job. So it’s been a couple of terrible weeks. Now, you would take pretty much any kind of job as long as it pays enough for you to afford food and the bills. ASAP.

Single dad looks for a live-in nanny for his three kids. Full-time with Sundays off. Contact this number for more details.

Okay, truth be told, you’ve never considered yourself as someone who is good with kids. But how hard can it be? Have you mentioned you’re desperate?

“Listen, Miss L/N,” Mr. Choi, your potential future employer starts. “I appreciate your enthusiasm but I’m not just going to hire you. I’m looking for someone with experience.”

“Well, I have a bunch of nephews, if they turned out alright under my care, then I guess that counts for something,” you chuckle.

“That’s very nice but I’m talking about professional experience. Have you been a nanny before?”

“Technically, no, but how can I get experience if you won’t hire me?”

“Touché,” Mr. Choi laughs.

“How about a trial period? Let me spend some time with your kids under your supervision and prove myself capable.”

Mr. Choi nods reluctantly.

“Well, you’re in luck since my little goblins have driven away five nannies in the past month.”

Oh, dear. Five nannies…And here you were thinking this could be an easy job.

“So, what’s one more?” you chuckle nervously and Mr. Choi shakes your hand, agreeing to give you a chance.

You are excited when meeting his kids. The eldest daughter - Chaerry is 15, very elegant and polite. You think that you’ll have no problems with her and you’ll have lots to talk about. The middle child and only son - Dino is 10, extremely mischievous and loud. You’ll definitely have problems. Finally, the youngest daughter, Elsie, is 5, she’s such a cutie but leaves a mess of her toys everywhere she goes. It’s easy to trip if you’re not careful, but nothing you can’t handle.

The trial period goes by in a flash. Dino attempts to get on your nerves by pulling pranks like hiding fake spiders in your bag and spraying your outfit with ketchup, but you accept all that with an easygoing laugh. Elsie constantly asks you to play with her toys and you need an unlimited source of ideas to keep up with her wild imagination, but it feels more like fun than a job. Chaerry is quiet and doesn’t share much at the beginning but eventually tells you about this boy at school she has a crush on. So, you count that as a success.

“I must admit, Miss L/N, I had some worries at first but seeing how quickly my kids accepted you is remarkable,” Mr. Choi shares his observations with you at the end of the trial period.

“So, am I hired, then?” you beam with excitement.

“Absolutely, yes. The kids have taken a liking to you and changing nannies so often is probably not great for them, either.”

“So true. Kids need stability and I would be happy to stick around for as long as you’ll have me, Mr. Choi,” you are thrilled not only because you will have a bed to sleep, food to eat and money to spend, but because you are genuinely looking forward to spending more time with these little munchkins.

And spend time with them you do. You're not sure what exactly it is that makes the kids warm up to you, but whatever the reason, it's working.

With Chaerry, you talk about boys and high school drama and make-up. On one occasion, she tells you something that sincerely touches you.

“Thank you for being my best friend, Y/N. I know I shouldn't keep stuff from my dad, but he can be so overprotective sometimes it's difficult to talk about...well, going on dates with boys, mostly.”

“Aww, Chae, you can tell me anything. It'll be our little secret,” you give her a wink, followed by a hug.

You're not exactly sure what the correct response here is. But you'll make sure to maintain some kind of balance - both look after her safety so that Mr. Choi sleeps peacefully at night and not betray Chaerry's trust in you.

With Dino, after the initial phase of silly pranks passes, you notice that he's become more honest and calm.

“You won't leave us like our mom and all the other nannies did, will you?” he asks you one afternoon as you're watching TV together.

You haven't asked Mr. Choi what exactly happened with these kids' mother because frankly, it's none of your business, but something is telling you they're a lot more hurt than they let on.

“I'm not going anywhere, Dino,” you promise, though really, it's up to Mr. Choi to decide that.

“Good. It would really suck if you left.”

That's a lot, coming from the kid who damaged like half of your wardrobe with all kinds of sauces.

With Elsie, another strange situation takes place due to the fact that the kid has no filter.

“Let's play family!”

“Um, okay,” you agree without thinking much.

“This will be daddy,” Elsie points at a stuffed lion plushie and then grabs a tiger plushie, “And this is you, mommy!”

“Oh, honey. I'm not your mommy,” you try to explain as gently as possible.

“But can you be? Daddy says our mommy left and has a new family somewhere else.”

Okay, that's a lot to unpack here. Though you don't think it is your place, you'll need to have a conversation with Mr. Choi, because the kids obviously have some kind of unresolved trauma...

One evening, after the kids have gone to sleep, instead of going to your room, you wait in the living room for your employer to come back from work, so you can approach the subject as delicately as you can.

“Good evening, Miss L/N. Kids go to bed?” he greets you as he takes off his coat.

“Evening, Mr. Choi. Yes, they did. I was wondering if we can have a chat. It can be a sensitive topic, I'm sure, but for the sake of the kids, I think it's important.”

Mr. Choi nods and takes a seat next to you on the couch.

“About their mother...”

“I was wondering how long it'd take you to bring that up,” he chuckles bitterly. “Other nannies wanted me to spill the tea on day one.”

“Wow, seriously?”

“It's not like it's this big secret, I just prefer not to talk about it unless absolutely necessary. My ex-wife...cheated on me and got pregnant by another man, so we had a divorce and I kept the kids, because she said she wants to start anew with this other guy, and...well, the kids said this is their home and that they won't move. So, I suppose the judge took that under consideration.”

“My God. I had no idea.”

“You couldn't have known, considering I just said I don't enjoy revisiting those painful memories.”

“Yes, of course, I only meant that...I guess it explains some things. Forgive me for saying this, but I think the kids have some kind of abandonment issues. Elsie and Dino, in particular, they seem to have a fear that I'll leave just like...well, their mom and the other nannies.”

“And are you? Leaving, I mean.”

“Not if I can help it. Mr. Choi, your kids are very vibrant and precious to me. I genuinely love my job. But I'm worried that what happened with your ex-wife affected them more than they show. Maybe you should look into therapy?”

“I will definitely take that into consideration. Thank you for your candour, Miss L/N.”

“You're most welcome.”

“What about Chaerry?”

“What about her?”

“You said that Elsie and Dino express these abandonment issues. Does Chaerry not have them?”

“She probably does, but at the moment she's too busy thinking about boys.”

“Boys? At her tender age? I don't think so,” Mr. Choi immediately goes into ultra alpha protective dad mode and you honestly find it kind of funny. And hot.

“Oh, relax, Mr. Choi. It's just typical high school drama. There's nothing to be worried about.”

He shakes his head disapprovingly.

“I'm counting on you. Does it ever occur to you how quickly they grow up?”

“I suppose it's more difficult for you. I've only known them for a few months but I think I get what you mean.”

“Yeah...How strange, it feels like you've been part of this family forever.”

You try not to think too deeply about it. He...considers you part of this family. Elsie called you mommy. Dino doesn't want you to leave. And Chaerry talks to you about boys. A topic, which girls usually discuss with their mothers. Oh, sweet heavens. Maybe, this nanny gig is becoming more than a job...

One Monday Mr. Choi texts you not to come to work this Saturday, as the kids will be spending some time with their grandparents (aka Mr. Choi's parents). However, the moment you receive the text, you're too busy trying to escape from Dino who is chasing you with a water gun in the garden. So, you somehow forget to put it down in your calendar.

Saturday arrives and poor Mr. Choi thinks you'd be in your own apartment. Finally, some peace and quiet. His parents picked up the kids early in the morning to go to the park with them so he's all alone and free to do as he pleases.

But alas, you go down the stairs of Mr. Choi's enormous house and make your way to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast for the kids. However, it's too quiet. Hm, how strange. Maybe, they're not awake yet? You shrug as you pour some milk and cereal in a bowl.

Oh, you hear some noise from the living room. Is that the TV? Your curiosity gets the better of you and you enter it only to find Mr. Choi in a very compromising position. He is touching himself, watching very obscene things on the big screen!

You are on the verge of chastising your boss for doing something like that in the living room, where the kids could walk in any minute, when you remember. The kids...They're with their grandparents today. Which means that...Fuck, you're not supposed to be here. You should be at your own apartment instead of being witness to...your very sexy and very single employer taking care of his needs.

You are going to sneak back into the kitchen and wait for a more appropriate time to leave the house when you hear it. At first you think you're hallucinating but then you hear it twice. Your name.

“Y/N...please, let me-” Mr. Choi moans, his eyes closed, he is unaware of your presence.

However, he doesn't get to finish his sentence because you are so shocked that you drop the bowl of cereal, which shatters on the ground with a loud noise.

“Fuck, I'm so so sorry,” you murmur nervously as your boss finally notices you watching him.

His cheeks flushed, his lips pouting, he is the most adorable you've ever seen him. He hurries to tuck his cock back into his pants and turn off the TV.

“N-no, I'm sorry...Miss L/N, what are you doing here?”

Oh, so you're Miss L/N now...Very well, then.

“I apologize. It must have slipped my mind that the kids are with their grandparents today.”

“It must have,” Mr. Choi repeats coldly, obviously embarrassed by this situation.

You wonder if you should tell him what you heard. Would that be unprofessional? But then again, he is the one who said your name, so...what is professional anyway?

“Do you want me to leave?”

He sighs deeply.

“What's the point? You already saw me...fuck, I feel so humiliated.”

“Why would you feel humiliated? Am I so undesirable that my presence immediately turned you off?” you ask bluntly.

“That's not the case and you know it.”

“I'm not sure I know anything anymore,” you admit. “You...said my name. How is that supposed to make me feel?”

“You were never meant to hear that,” Mr. Choi hides his face behind his hands, the redness refusing to leave his complexion.

“But I did. So, what now?”

“Please, don't quit. I realize that what I did is unforgivable but...the kids care about you so much, it would devastate them to lose you.”

“I wasn't even thinking of quitting. But...are the kids the only ones who care about me?” you need to know.

“No...As it so happens, I care about you.”

“So, stop hiding from me,” you don't know where that boldness comes from as you grab his wrists and remove his hands, so you can look at his face. Fuck, he's so pretty.

“You're not...grossed out by me?” Mr. Choi blinks at you in surprise.

“Kinda flattered, actually,” you confess. “But I'd like it much better if you let me take care of your frustrations.”

“You would?” he is unable to believe his luck when you drop on your knees in front of him and take him out of his pants again, engulfing his cock with your pretty mouth. “Y/N...”

The way he says your name is enough to make you even more enthusiastic, sucking him deeper and bobbing your head to the best of your abilities. He grips your hair tightly and you make sure not a drop is spilled as you swallow his cum down your throat. You wipe off your lips and sit down next to him, unsure of what to do next.

“Mr. Choi...”

“Call me Cheol, please.”

“Cheol...may I kiss you?”

Seungcheol doesn't respond and instead kisses you passionately, grabbing your face with his hands. His tongue is exploring your mouth in ways you'd never imagined could bring so much pleasure and you can't resist the urge to sit in his lap. Somehow, against all reason, he's hard again, as you grind against him. Fuck. He's so hot and sweet and amazing you just want to make him happy. How anyone could cheat on this fine man is beyond you.

“Um...not to assume or anything, but do you have a condom?” you ask sheepishly.

“I do, yes,” Seungcheol goes to his coat and brings a package.

“I mean, don't get me wrong, I love kids, but I think we should be responsible considering this is our first time together and you already have three of your own,” you're probably talking too much but oh well. Better safe than sorry.

“No, I understand. You're totally right.”

“Will you fuck me?” you inquire.

“Here? On the couch?” Seungcheol is in disbelief.

“Well...you were touching yourself here, but I guess it's whatever. Your home, after all.”

He chuckles, suddenly embarrassed again.

“Come on, let's go to my room.”

Seungcheol offers you his hand and you follow him upstairs excitedly. Is this really happening? Are you seriously going to do this with your boss?

He lifts your chin up because he notices you're not meeting his eyes out of nervousness.

“Look at me,” he commands you easily and you're on the verge of falling apart and he hasn't even undressed you yet. The power this man holds over you... “We don't have to do this if you're not ready.”

“It's not that. I do want this. It's just...I don't remember if I told you but I was also cheated on. A little before I came to work here. And like, I haven't been intimate for a while, so I'm nervous. What if I mess something up?”

“Okay, first of all, give me that asshole's address, I just wanna talk. And second of all...darling, I haven't been intimate since way before my divorce took place. Trust me, I'm a lot more nervous than you right now.”

You shake your head.

“Whatever you do, I'm sure I'll find it like super hot.”

Seungcheol laughs and tilts his head, kissing you again.

“You're so cute,” he whispers against your mouth. “I can't wait to ruin you.”

And just like that, it's as if a switch is flipped. He pushes you onto the bed and leans above you menacingly, a devilish smirk painting his pretty face. Seungcheol pushes your dress up hurriedly, touching you all over.

“You really thought you could get away with it, huh? Walking around my house in those dresses of yours looking so sexy? Tempting me?”

“N-no, s-sir,” you murmur, not knowing where the title is coming from.

“God, I'm such a cliché. An old man unable to resist the gorgeous young nanny...”

“You're not old, sir,” you try to reassure him. You're not sure if he's just engaging in dirty talk or is actually having some insecurities. He's still young in your eyes. Whatever the case, you're there for him.

“Don't lie to me, sweetheart. I'm too old for ya...I have three kids. What do you have, hm?” Seungcheol speaks while caressing your pussy through your panties.

“I have you, sir,” you smile and palm his dick teasingly.

He sighs wistfully and buries his head between your folds, licking and teasing until you're a soaking mess for him.

“S-sir, p-please...C-cheol, don't stop,” you cry out helplessly.

It feels so good, too good. He holds you down, hands gripping your thighs as you cum against his tongue. He barely gives you any time to recover as he rolls up a condom on his cock. You stare at him hungrily, impatient to have him inside of you.

Seungcheol is like the drug everyone warned you about. Once you have him, you won't be able to quit.

“Are you ready?” he asks softly in sharp contrast with his previous behaviour.

“Please take me, Cheol,” you would beg if you had to.

And take you he does, entering you deeply with his big cock.

“Fuck, you're so tight, barely fitting me in,” he speaks, stroking your clit in circular motions with his thumb, while he fucks you harshly.

“It's okay, I won't break, sir,” you try to convince him.

“What if I want you to break, little girl?” Seungcheol inquires, his voice half-joking, half-serious, as he.

“Then, I'd be happy to serve you, daddy,” the word slips from your lips before you could think twice about it.

“Daddy, huh? You need daddy to make you cum?” you are grateful he plays along instead of making fun of you in this very vulnerable moment.

“Yes, daddy, please, I'll do anything for you,” you promise in a daze.

“Cum for me, sweet girl, let daddy take care of you,” his deep voice is enough to bring you to the edge.

“Fuuuck, daddy...Cheol,” you mumble repeatedly, as white appears before your eyes.

You're shaking in his arms but it feels like flying.

“I've got you, angel, daddy's right here,” Seungcheol comforts you, as he rides out his own high, spilling inside the condom. Then, taking it off and throwing it in the garbage bin, he hurries back to you.

You make grabby hands at him and he envelops you in a hug.

“I'm here, sweetheart,” he kisses your forehead gently and you melt against his chest.

“Cheol...I think you just murdered me a little,” you laugh.

“Well, then, I better make sure I revive you, because I can't imagine my life without you.”

“Good. You ain't getting rid of me.”

“That sounds perfect because me and the kids would like you to stick around.”

“Oh God, the kids! What time are they coming back?”

“We've got time, don't worry, they should-”

“Daaaad, we're home!” you hear Dino's loud voice from downstairs.

“Fuck,” Cheol curses under his breath and the two of you hurry to make yourselves look somewhat presentable.

Once dressed and back in the living room, you can only hope that you're not too obvious about what went down. However, you can't stop yourself from glancing at Seungcheol and he's just as flustered as you.

“Oh, hi, Y/N,” Dino greets you as if it's completely normal for you to be there. As if you belong.

“How was your time with your grandparents?” you ask, trying to act casual.

“We had so much ice cream!” Elsie squeals excitedly.

“Grandma and Grandpa took us to the park,” Chaerry starts telling you about everything they did in great detail and you are glad that the shy girl you first met is becoming a confident young woman.

Elsie is asking for more ice cream but Seungcheol is explaining that it's lunch time. Dino is painting the table with mustard and honestly, that's so on brand for him...

It is funny where desperation brought you. You realize this is the happiest you've been in a while.

Later, when Seungcheol catches you alone after spending the afternoon with the kids, he asks:

“I know we kinda messed up the proper order of things, but...would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Oh! I'd love that, Cheol. Is it okay to still call you that?”

“Yeah, it's alright.”

“What about in front of the kids? I'm not sure to what point you'd like to mix professional with...personal life.”

“In front of the kids is okay, too,” he laughs, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, do you know what Elsie keeps asking me?”

“What?”

“When will you make Y/N my new mommy?”

“Yeah, that definitely sounds like something Elsie would say.”

“So, um, no pressure. But I think you're more than the nanny to me.”

“Well, I would certainly hope so. I didn't raise you, mister!”

Seungcheol can't miss the opportunity for a joke. He takes hold of your hand and places it on top of his...very hard dick.

“You raised him, though,” he whispers.

“Mr. Choi!” you hiss, scandalized. “I mean...Cheol.”

“Did you mean daddy?” Seungcheol teases you relentlessly.

“Stop it, you deviant!” you shake your head. “Fuck, you'll never let me live this down, will ya?”

“Do you kiss your boss with that mouth?” he smirks.

“Don't mind if I do,” you reply and bring your lips to his.

A year passes by quickly. You love every day of your life. Whether it'll be spending time with the kids, or going on fun dates with your boss turned boyfriend, or having mind-blowing sex with said specimen, you are truly happy with how things turned out for the best.

With one tiny thing missing.

“Cheol, can I ask you something?” you mumble one evening, as you are playing with his soft, fluffy hair.

“Of course, sweetheart,” Seungcheol turns towards you, giving you his fullest attention.

“Have you ever thought about having more kids?”

“Hmm, it hasn't crossed my mind. I already have three kids. But it depends. Is that something you're interested in?”

“Not till now. But if it's with you, I'd love to have a kid,” you confess shyly.

“Well, then, let's make you a mommy,” Seungcheol quickly makes it his mission and for the first time, doesn't use a condom.

“Yes, please, daddy, give me your cum,” you moan wantonly, as he fucks you deep.

“Take it like the good girl you are, I'll give you all I've got, fuck a baby in ya,” he grunts in your ear, sounding even more excited than you are.

“I love it, feel so full,” you whimper and can't stop kissing him. You can't believe this beautiful man is yours and wants to give you another present.

“That's right, sweetheart, I'll stuff you full of it,” he moans and releases himself inside you. Your walls clench around him, pulling him deeper, as you reach your high.

Seungcheol gently pushes the cum that's spilling out of your pussy back inside and lifts your legs up.

“Do you think it'll stick?” you ask doubtfully.

“Can't hurt to try again until it does,” he shrugs, determined to succeed.

Nine months later, as you welcome the twins into the family, you realize you've never expected to achieve so much happiness.

“You really had to outdo yourself and give me not one but two babies,” you playfully push Seungcheol's shoulder.

“Is it too late now to say sorry?” he grins nervously.

“Don't be. I'm more than satisfied. But you'll have to give me a raise!”

“I'll give you something better than that,” Seungcheol promises and pulls a diamond ring out of his pocket.

“Oh my God,” you are in shock.

“Y/N...you've given me more than I could ever hope to deserve. You started off as a nanny but you became my three kids' best friend and now, the mother of two more angels. You became my closest person, my source of joy, my sweetheart. Knowing that I can come home to you is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Will you do me the absolute honour of becoming my wife?”

“Yes, of course, yes!” you say through your tears and kiss him, as he slides the ring on your finger.

“Can I call you mommy now?” Elsie peeks her adorable head behind the door, followed by Dino and Chaerry, who are all excited by the good news.

“Congratulations, Y/N!” Chaerry greets you with a hug and whispers: “Thanks for taking one for the team and making our lonely old man. happy.”

“Hey, I heard that!” Seungcheol complains loudly.

Dino jumps on the back of his dad with a loud squeal.

“You better treat her right, Dad!” the boy warns. “Or I'll ketchup your room!”

“Why do I feel like I'm the one being welcomed into the family?” Seungcheol bemoans his fate but he's never smiled wider.

“You'll get used to it,” you joke. “Come on, guys, meet your new brother and sister.”

“Hii, babies!” Elsie and Dino jump excitedly around the twins.

“Oh, they're so cute! Aren't they so cute, Dad?” Chaerry coos at the babies.

“They are, but it's too early for you to think about how cute babies are. Look at me...I already have five. Isn't it tragic?” Seungcheol keeps messing around.

“It could have been twelve or something,” you play along.

“I can't imagine,” Seungcheol cries out indignantly. But deep down, maybe he can.

The End

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Soooo, I might've been put on Femruptarin. I'm only four months and my doctor has been so aggressive with my fertility treatments since I turned eighteen. I got pregnant with twins after a bunch of guys gang fucked me on the subway and when I only got filled with twins my doctor was disappointed. Then I got pregnant with quints one day out on a jog, a guy tackled me pulled off my clothes and fucked me sooo good like a wild animal. I could tell my doctor was kinda pleased with how pregnant I got but expressed that he'd like to see me carry bigger broods in the future, almost like a warning.

I got pregnant with sextuplets next. Hard to say exactly when I got knocked up, but I think it's when my dad took me out fishing on this big boat with his buddies and they, unsurprisingly, decided to fuck me one after another. Kinda hard to tell exactly when, I got gang raped a few times pretty good around then, too. After that my doctor said I needed to carry more kids at a time and upped my doses. I carried nonuplets after that, got kind of a local reputation by that point as a free use girl but it's not like I'm going to complain or fight back if guys decide to fuck me. I'm not a prude!

So, lots of guys started ripping off my clothes and fucking me, it got so bad I really only wear dresses and skirts outside because I prefer men to have easier access to my pussy. I had serious trouble walking during the later months of my last pregnancy, carrying nine kids. My doctor put an anti labor stitch in my birth canal so I'd stay pregnant a full 40 weeks. I was so big I thought for sure I'd pop. The months of contractions were SO brutal! But I still had fun, especially after my doctor got rid of my stitch and I went out to my favorite park and got quite the crowd cheering me on as I gave birth to a pile of kids that was insanely satisfying to push out, sweating, moaning, rubbing myself, sucking off the cocks of spectators, getting ass fucked more than a few times as I pushed out said pile of kids.

Now I know my doctor really did it this time. He hid the name of my new script and asked the pharmacist to rub it out with marker, since Femruptarin is so notorious these days. I of course took it because duh! Why wouldn't I? And I think I can safely say I'm gonna pop in a few months! I'm pretty excited to pop actually, it's a little scary but something I've fantasized about since being put on fertility drugs after high school. All the TikToks of girls happily bursting in public definitely don't help. Like I'm so jealous every time I watch these girls smile and moan and put up peace signs, rolling back their eyes as their bellies tear open for all to see. So, anyone wanna take a bet on what week I burst?

I'm like 16 weeks now which is insane to think about. I'm thinking I'll make it to like..... 30 weeks? My mom and dad think I'll make it 26 weeks. My older brother is saying only 24! My younger sister is being safe and saying 25. Guess my family can't wait to see me pop! Who can blame them? It's like every girl's dream these days. Go out massively pregnant, young, beautiful, and so horny you can barely think straight. Then leave behind something your spectators can have a little fun with for a bit before you're tossed in the nearest dumpster, which I'm not gonna lie is like my #1 fantasy, for some bored park workers to drag my popped sexy body and toss me in the garbage, since I've served my purpose after all! It's definitely what my doctor wants, that's for sure! ❤️"

[pr0cyon-lotor]

AU where PIWD is a RPG game that follows LBH defeating the disgraced cultivator turned demon king (emperor? lord? Whatever) Shen Qingqiu and becomes the demon king and gets a harem made up of his adventuring party.

Shen Yuan had playing it and it sucked major ass (I might make him fond of SQQ again the au is growing on me ngl). He enters the modding community for the game. He makes mods that give story behind the characters, give the girls actual personalities, fleshes out the villain, etc. He's fairly popular in the community and is well known to be Airplane's biggest hater.

Shen Yuan gets a helper eventually someone that also dislikes how the story went (totally not Airplane on an Alt account. nope.) and together they work on a mod that completely rewrites the whole thing because the game mechanics are good enough. (Airplane finally gets to tell the story he wanted)

It's their magnum opus. It takes years to finish and when they finally upload it, bullshit happens and they both end up croaking because yay 😊

Shen Yuan gets thrown into the modded version of PIDW. He is the current demon king's son. He recognizes that he will be the demon king that is the predecessor to Shen Qingqiu.

He tries to run away from his fate and ends up running right to the throne and accidentally becomes way over qualified. He eventually resigns to his fate and instead focuses on making sure his staff is loyal to him because the former demon king was betrayed by his staff or something.

Shen Yuan ends up becoming one of the most well liked kings in their history without realizing it.

One day when he's doing fuck all in the mortal realm. He encounters a town gets raided. He came too late to stop it, but he did manage to take down the raiders (Huan Hua Palace). He looked over the town and didn't find many survivors, one was a little girl that he picked up after she clung to him in desperation.

He takes the survivors back with him and makes sure they're fine, but accidentally adopts the girl since she tugged at his heartstrings. So he has a daughter now.

Years pass and he becomes an old man before he figures out how to halt his aging (old man Shen Yuan makes me feel things). And by then his daughter (take a wild guess who it is with my track history. c'mon we all know it's Su Xiyan) is an accomplished cultivator.

He's proud of his daughter and insists that she at least visits him. Su Xiyan eventually joins a sect/guild (honestly depends on how much RPG I want to make this) and gets aquatinted with the people there.

She becomes friends with one of the cultivators there named Shen Jiu and they're both very catty and take shit all the time.

Things happens, plot occurs, and Su Xiyan accidentally releases an ancient demon that had been sealed away for centuries. She is fascinated by his pathetic rizz and decides that "sure, I'll fuck that."

She brings back her totally-not-demon boyfriend to the rest and he is accepted in (YQY couldn't find it in himself to really gaf). Eventually Huan Hua Palace requests for help to take down the demon king.

And even though they have an ancient demon among them they said "yeah sure :)" Cang Qiong ends up being the ones to actually do the journey.

They get there, it was a tiresome and perilous journey. And they're finally at the demon king's throne room in front of this terrifying demon and this terrifying demon is like

SY: "Oh my God. Hi Xiyan you're visiting again? You were here a few days ago. Are these your friends? :D"

SXY: "Hey dad. These are my friends also we're here to kill you :)"

SY: "Woah really? That's great, sweetie! Make sure to aim for the head :D"

The cultivators get their asses handed to them (Tianlang-jun's ass was NOT helping)

And instead of getting killed by Shen Yuan he invites them to dinner to recover their strength. And like the demon king is like pretty chill and asks if they want to try to kill him again. Yue Qingyuan proposes an alliance instead.

Shen Yuan agrees because he figured out that trying to run from your fate brings you straight to it, and he might as well benefit his kingdom before he's killed.

The dealings take a while (a suspicious amount of time) so Yue Qingyuan, Shen Qingqiu, and Shen Yuan get aquatinted. They start having tea and gossip and maybe start a bookclub :D

Shen Yuan thinks he somehow thinks he befriended the guildmaster and his future murderer and is a little confused while Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu is like "This Gap Moe is Crazy. We wanna fuck this old man 🤝🤝🤝"

Eventually they do, in fact, fuck that old man. Su Xiyan is not impressed that her friends are dating her dad. Tianlang-jun is personally enjoying the fanfiction.

[chaoticallyfluffy]

I want more of the JL acting like normal celebrities.

Batman and Chappel Roan working together on a competitive cooking show against teams of Kylie Jenner and Danny Devito, Kanye West and Kesha, Taylor Swift and Superman, etc. They are a surprisingly good team who work together great. They end up winning the whole thing and a bunch of wholesome memes start trending about the two of them adopting you after your awful parents kicked you out. Superman and Taylor Swift are surprisingly a TERRIBLE team. They’re disqualified because they never finished cooking their meals as they were too busy arguing. They are memed to be the parents who kicked you out and desperately need a divorce.

Wonder Woman going on a survivor-like reality show about a bunch of celebrities stuck on an island together and all the contestants are whining about things like “My hair is so frizzy and Chad is SO hot, I don’t want him to see me like this omg” While Diana has already chopped down multiple trees, used the wood to make a cabin for everyone, hunted a wild boar which is currently roasting over a campfire she also made with the leftover sticks and leaves, and cracked the coconuts from the tree. The rest of the show is mostly a normal reality show. The other contestants never have to lift a finger and can peacefully gossip and have drama while being well fed, housed, and hydrated. The only real difference is that every few minute the camera switches to Diana wresting a grizzly bear or catching fish with her bare hands.

The masked singer where there’s a person in a colourful parrot costume singing on stage and everyone has to guess who it is. People have guessed many celebrities like Oliver Queen, Bruce Wayne, or even Lex Luther, but they mostly guessed famous singers because the guy is GOOD and there’s no way he doesn’t sing professionally. He sang songs like “Party in the USA”, “Call Me Maybe” and “Never Gonna Give You Up”. People were going crazy trying to figure out who he is. The time finally comes for the reveal. The man slowly takes off his parrot head and... it’s Batman. The crowd goes wild.

The Flash (Barry) and Green Lantern (Hal) make a podcast and spend the entire time going on long rants about their respective interests. Flash talks about forensic science and chemistry for an hour while GL hums in interest or asks questions every once in a while. After that GL rambles about airplanes and engineering for another hour while Flash enthusiastically nods and adds in related stories every so often. Twitter diagnoses them with autism.

Captain Marvel has a TikTok account where he posts himself trying suggestions from his fans. Some of his most popular videos include him juggling a bunch of chainsaws (perfectly, btw), pranking JL members, bedazzling Mr Minds prison jar with fake crystals and speech bubble stickers that make it look like Mr Mind is saying things like “I’m DUMB”, and his most popular by far, citing The Santa Clause rules to Black Adam and convincing him that since he killed his father technically that makes him his new dad (the horror stopped Black Adam in place mid battle, giving Marvel the perfect opportunity to punch him in the face. The punch has been slo-mo’d and memed to oblivion). His Batman mandated PR team has been begging him to stop for months but in response he posts himself TikTok dancing (terribly) in front of a green screen in the background showing an image of the emails while asking for more suggestions.

If anyone has any ideas like this or fics to recommend plz tell me In the comments, I love the Justice League just casually being celebrities.

[multi-fandoms-posts]

Unexpected Visitor(but somehow not)

X Men Masterlist

It is a quiet afternoon in the small, secluded cabin that Y/N and Logan call home. The sun casts golden light through the windows, and a peaceful silence fills the air, interrupted only by the soft breathing of the baby sleeping in Y/N’s arms. Logan sits beside her on the couch, looking at the tiny figure with a look of sincere tenderness that few have ever seen on him.

“She’s beautiful,” Y/N murmurs softly, so as not to wake the baby.

Logan nods and gently strokes a finger over the tiny hand of their newborn child. “Yes, she is. Just like her mother.”

A smile touches Y/N’s face as she leans against Logan. It’s hard to believe that this moment of peace and happiness is truly their life. After all the struggles and dangers they’ve faced together, this serene family life seems almost like a dream.

But that dream is abruptly interrupted when the door bursts open with a loud bang and Wade Wilson, aka Deadpool, storms in without warning. He is carrying an oversized baby carrier filled with colorful toys, and a silly baby hat with a wiggling propeller sits on his head.

“Daddy Logan and Mommy Y/N!” Wade exclaims enthusiastically, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m here to entertain the baby and give you some parenting tips!”

Logan sighs deeply and closes his eyes for a moment, as if preparing himself to deal with Wade. “Wade, the baby is sleeping. Can you maybe… be a little quieter?”

Wade makes a face and loudly whispers, “Oh, of course! Sorry. I forgot you’ve gone soft now.”

Y/N suppresses a laugh and shakes her head. “Wade, this isn’t a toy store. We’re trying to get her to sleep.”

Wade sneaks closer and glances at the sleeping baby in Y/N’s arms. His expression softens for a moment, almost tender, before he suddenly reverts to his usual grinning mask. “She’s cuter than a frosting burrito! But seriously, folks, I never thought I’d see Logan as a loving dad. What happened to the wild Wolverine, huh?”

Logan lets out a soft growl, but Y/N soothingly places a hand on his shoulder. “He’s still the same Logan. Just with a new job being a dad.”

“I bet you’ve even learned how to change diapers, huh?” says Wade grins

Logan takes a deep breath to stay calm, “Yes, Wade. And if you don’t stop, you’ll be changing them next.”

“Don’t worry, big guy,” Wade grins back. “I’m just here to see if you now have a pacifier instead of your claws. But hey, I get it. Fatherhood can soften you up. But where’s the fun if you don’t stir up a bit of chaos now and then?”

“Wade,” Y/N begins patiently as she adjusts the baby into a more comfortable position, “we really just want some peace and quiet. You know this is new for us, right?”

Wade pretends to think, then nods as if he’s had a great idea. “You’re right! You need time to adjust to the new life. So I’ll be on my best behavior today. Promise!”

Logan looks at him skeptically. “I doubt that means anything good from you.”

But Wade ignores the comment and sits in an armchair opposite Y/N and Logan. He watches the baby attentively as she continues to sleep peacefully.

“You know, Logan,” Wade starts after a while, “I never thought you’d become so… tamed. But somehow, it suits you. The big, gruff Wolverine as a loving dad. It’s almost… heartwarming.”

Logan rolls his eyes, but it’s Y/N who responds. “Wade, life changes. People change. And Logan has always been more than just his claws.”

Wade nods in agreement. “Well, I guess I have to accept that. But tell me one thing, Logan what will you do when the little one gets a boyfriend? Will you show him your claws? Or maybe your best ���I’ll tear you apart’ look?”

Logan smirks and replies in a dry tone, “I’ll show him that I’m very, very old and can be very, very dangerous. That usually suffices.”

Wade laughs loudly and nods approvingly. “I like that, Daddy Logan. Strict but fair.”

The baby stirs in Y/N’s arms and slowly opens her eyes as if awakened by Wade’s laughter. She looks up at Logan. “I’ll put her to bed,” murmurs Logan as he carefully stands up and takes the baby from Y/N. Wade watches him with an almost reverent look as Logan gently presses the little girl to his chest and takes her to her room.

Once Logan is out of earshot, Wade leans closer to Y/N and whispers conspiratorially, “He’s really gone soft, hasn’t he? The Wolverine we knew would have thrown me through the wall by now.”

Y/N laughs softly and shakes her head. “He’s still himself. But the love for our child has changed him in a way you might understand someday, Wade.”

Wade shrugs and puts his usual mask back on. “Maybe, maybe not. But I have to admit he’s not doing so badly as a dad. And if it comes down to it, I can always lend him a handful of grenades to keep the boys away.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Please, Wade. Leave the grenades out.”

Logan returns to the living room after successfully getting the little one to sleep. He gives Wade a warning look before sitting back down next to Y/N.

“You’re not actually planning to be quiet today, are you?” Logan asks, eyeing Wade warily.

Wade raises his hands in an innocent gesture. “I’ve been very restrained! But you have to admit, I’m the best babysitter option you have. No one else will take care of the little one as well while you get a break.”

Logan snorts. “Wade, if you ever babysit our child, I’ll make sure you’re under constant supervision.”

Wade grins widely. “Deal! But I bet she’ll love me. I mean, who can resist this face?”

Y/N tilts her head and regards Wade thoughtfully. “Alright, Wade. Maybe we’ll let you babysit sometime when we’re sure you can behave. But until then… maybe you could just keep us company without causing chaos.”

Wade pretends to bow. “A task I will undertake with pride! But if you ever need a bit of action, you know where to find me.”

Logan and Y/N exchange amused smiles as Wade settles into his chair and actually remains a relatively quiet guest for the rest of the afternoon. Of course, they know this won’t last forever. Wade remains Wade always ready with a crazy comment or an even crazier idea.

But for now, in this moment, everything is perfect. They are together as a family and even Wade somehow fits in.

[deadghosy]

SLYTHERIN BOYS X OWL! READER HEADCANNONS

Prompt: a wild owl appears, gaining some Slytherin boy’s attention as their own personally pet and companion

Ft. The riddles, Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, && Lorenzo Berkshire

A/N: based off of how I use to do hazbin hotel x animal! readers. I appreciate reblogs, comments, and such as likes.

When your white owl appearance took place in the common room of the Slytherins. Draco was a little cautious to get close of you whilst Lorenzo immediately found you enchanting. He wanted to make you his wonderful companion. Mattheo also wanted to making the two Slytherins fight for your attention. Trying to bring you mice thinking you were “that” kinda owl. When really you liked fruits a lot, to which Theodore fed you once and you were attached to him.

“Guess they like me more..” Theodore says with a grin, petting you under your chin to which you coo at. Immediately Theodore felt his heart melt as he kept petting you, walking away using a soft baby voice. “Aww you’re so cute my little bambino..aww..” meanwhile the others are like “did he seriously just adopt an owl?”

Lorenzo is still the number one caretaker of you. He literally schedules what time you eat, when you need a bath, when you need a nap. He’s like he’s taking care of a baby. Even though Theo tells him it’s not that serious. Lorenzo is not taking chances as he teaches your tricks.

He taught you how to unlock cages incase you get kidnapped from the Slytherin common room. Or maybe something I excepted happens to you and they’re not there to protect you. Makes them sad to think about it.

Blaise, plays his music softly around you. He loves how you just prance around howling and cooing around. He find you a comfortable companion to just vibe him with. And you think the same.

Theodore, the one to just feed you and you would be on his shoulder when he is in common room. He loves you dearly as if he birthed you😭

Mattheo sometimes joke around about how he would pluck your feather for it to be a quill, and you were so happy after hearing that as you avoided him for a whole week before Blaise made him apologize. But most of all, he loves you since you are adorable.

Draco, this ferret boy would be afraid that if he turned into a ferret that you would grab him and eat him. But when Theodore told him that you only ate fruits. He felt pleased. Then he would transform and you two were animals causing mayhem together. (I believe in my head he’s an animagus)

Tom….you don’t see him often. But when you do. He leaves you a small snack, he doesn’t really show emotion towards you. But it’s nice how one time he heard a couple of Gryffindors going to steal you. Let’s just say those Gryffindors were scared to even go near you. You admired Tom from afar and he did the same to you.

Group head pets from you. Be prepared to be smothered with love and affection from your Slytherin owners.

Lorenzo absolutely ADORES sleeping with you in his room. 🥹baby is in love with your nightly coos. He thinks they’re so adorable to the point he may cry or just fall asleep with a smile on his face.

You’re very chilling to be around, surprisingly Tom lets you in his room. He may find a small attachment to you to the point he maybe wants to be in your soul… just maybe.

There was a part of time where the Theodore and Lorenzo fought over who was the best owl dad for you. You didn’t know who to chose so you flew over to Tom who just sat on the common room couch reading. Not giving a care in the world. The two Slytherins were shocked and disappointed as they banned you from seeing Tom for a few days.

“They’re like an air cat!” Mattheo said as you coo at him from the pets you gained. “Please don’t ever call our owl that..” Tom said with an unimpressed stare. Mattheo still says it to this day in Tom’s face.

If anyone forgets to feed you, they feel guilty. Not Tom though. He feeds you before he goes to his lectures while those others are like. “Who fed them before we left??” While Tom is like “Pft….imbeciles.”

They love when you coo at them. Tom would never admit despite his own brother saying it out loud💗

You are the most beautiful owl Hogwarts know, and sometimes Tom tries to talk to you as if you are a real person. Talking about pregnancy and how you should watch out for “those” type of owls…he’s just trying to protect and not kill an owl.

[delulustateofmind]

JJK Men x Reader: Taking care of the kids!

Characters: Satoru, Suguru, and Choso.

Your sweet husbands are taking care of the kids for you while you're at some wedding the invite clearly saying "No Kids". That's fine...your husband can handle it right?

✩｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ₊ ˚ ︶︶✩︶︶‌ ｡˚｡ ˚ ︶✩

Satoru

Satoru was sure he could handle it. After all, how hard could it be to watch over his little guy for a few hours while you attended a wedding? But what he didn’t account for was his soon-to-be one-year-old's teething phase turning his sweet baby into a tiny, drooling menace.

With his son strapped snugly in a baby harness against his chest, Satoru was convinced they’d get through the day without a hitch. He had his lecture planned, a mission lined up with the kids, and, of course, his little one’s nap schedule firmly memorized. You had emphasized that routine was essential, and he, being the ever-attentive husband, was sure he’d nailed it.

But as he strolled into the school, proudly chatting with his colleagues about how “easy” fatherhood was, his little boy had other plans. Every few seconds, tiny, sticky hands would reach up, eagerly grasping for Satoru’s fingers for a nibble. Drool was dripping steadily from his son’s mouth, leaving a little trail on Satoru’s shirt, but he didn’t mind. With his heart full and his confidence sky-high, he figured everything was under control.

When his little mochi whimpered and grabbed at his fingers for the hundredth time, Satoru finally glanced down, pressing a light kiss to his son’s wild, snow-white hair. “Easy day, right, buddy?” he cooed, still blissfully unaware of what was to come.

It was not an easy day. Satoru’s confidence shattered the instant a huge wail erupted from his little one, echoing down the hallway and catching the attention of every passing student. Big, red cheeks puffed up on his son’s face, tiny fists reaching up toward Satoru with desperation, his drooly little mouth quivering.

"Maybe he’s hungry?" Satoru murmured, patting his son's back, hoping to soothe him. "Or tired already? Ah, come on, little mochi, we were supposed to have this handled." But the cries only grew louder, and a creeping realization hit him—he’d left the diaper bag at home. And the toys.

“Oh, crap…” He muttered, running a hand through his hair in a rare moment of panic. Three hours of sleep had definitely taken its toll, and he was starting to feel the weight of every “no problem” promise he’d made to you that morning.

With no pacifier, no extra clothes, and his son's unhappy shrieks growing louder, Satoru swallowed his pride and started bouncing a little, whispering desperately, “C’mon, buddy, give your dad a break… Just till Momma gets back…”

Nanami found him standing helplessly in the hallway, looking like he'd been caught in the middle of a disaster zone. Without missing a beat, Nanami took in the sight—the wailing, red-cheeked baby clawing at Satoru’s face, and Satoru’s sheepish, desperate smile—and made an easy diagnosis.

"He's teething, probably," Nanami said in his typical stoic tone. "At that age, and judging by that wail, he's frustrated. Take it from someone who has three kids."

Satoru blinked at him, slightly stunned. What was Nanami, some kind of baby whisperer? How did he know all this?

As if reading his mind, Nanami continued, "Hold on. I have a baby bag in my car. We keep a spare unopened teething ring and some other essentials." His gaze swept over Satoru’s empty hands and slightly disheveled look. "Judging by the lack of your baby bag, I’m guessing you forgot some things."

Satoru’s face broke into a sheepish laugh, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah… three hours of sleep will do that to a guy."

Without another word, Nanami turned, motioning for Satoru to follow. “Come on. We’ll get him sorted. And maybe—” he gave Satoru a pointed look, “—I’ll teach you a thing or two.”

Satoru chuckled, half-relieved, half-embarrassed as he followed. Maybe today will be a bit easier after all.

Suguru

Suguru had parenting down to an art. He practically embodied the role so well that anyone might mistake him for a mother, the way he handled each detail with care and precision. Fortunately, the twins were off at school, leaving him with his youngest—his curious little boy who’d just turned two. As they made their way to the training grounds, Suguru watched his son toddling beside him, attached by one of those child leash backpacks. You’d joked it was a control thing when he brought it home, and honestly, he couldn’t deny it. His peace of mind was priceless.

When they arrived, the first years immediately gravitated toward the little one, their hearts melting at his wide-eyed gaze and tiny fingers pointing at everything in sight. Suguru could only chuckle softly, amused by the way his son looked at the world, taking it all in with endless wonder.

With a practiced calm, Suguru spread a soft blanket over the grass, laying out toys and a couple of sturdy board books for his little one. Settling down, he reached for the sunscreen, his voice gentle as he coaxed his son to sit still. "Come on, let’s put some sunscreen on you," he said softly, hands cradling his son's round cheeks as he carefully smoothed the cream into every nook and cranny of his chubby face.

Every so often, he’d throw a glare at the first years when he caught them stealing glances instead of focusing on their stretching. “Eyes on your forms,” he reminded, his voice just stern enough to bring them back to reality.

Suguru returned his focus to his little boy, who was already distracted by a toy, happily babbling.

"Pink!" His son shouted as he pointed at Yuji.

"That's so good. Yeah, his hair is pink." Suguru would speak soflty and slowly as he put on a little sun hat on his son.

Today was going to be a good day—quiet, simple, and fully excited to see his wife when he got home.

Choso

Choso was great with kids—everyone said so. But when it came to his own little one, especially now that she was sick, he felt completely out of his depth. His heart twisted painfully as he looked at his sweet four-year-old daughter, who’d woken him from a much-needed nap after a grueling late-night mission.

“I threw up, Papa…” she whimpered, her little face streaked with tears and a sniffle escaping her as she looked up at him.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Choso got to work. He changed her sheets, gathered up the laundry, and made sure she was comfortable as she crawled into his and your shared bed, nestling herself among the pillows. He placed a kiss on her forehead, murmuring a soft, “Rest here, baby. Papa will be right back.”

Heading downstairs, he mulled over what he’d need. Being half-curse, he’d never experienced sickness himself, which left him a little lost on how to help his little one. Juice seemed like a good idea, right? He also started a small pot of rice, recalling something he’d read online about gentle foods being good for sick children.

A quick call to Nanami confirmed he was on the right track. Suguru added a few more helpful tips, and by the time he went back upstairs, juice in one hand and a bowl of rice in the other, he felt a little more prepared.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he gently nudged his daughter awake. “Here, baby,” he said softly, brushing a hand through her hair. “I’ve got some juice and a little bit of rice for you. It’ll help you feel better.”

She blinked up at him, still sniffling, but managed a small, grateful smile, reaching for the juice first. Choso settled beside her, his hand resting on her back as he rubbed slow, comforting circles, silently wishing he could take all her discomfort away. He might be half-curse, but nothing could change how deeply he cared for his little girl.

[monimccoythings]

Alastor x daughter!Reader II (Platonic)

Heaven in this series seems to be very unfair and strict, so I guess this wouldn't be too out of character of them. I still don't know how long this is going to be, maybe I'll do a couple more and then that'll be it.

Reminder: Alastor is in hell for a reason; Trigger warnings: gory elements, mentions of blood, threats towards a child, mentions of rape, death.

This is not proof read, so please excuse any grammar and/or vocabulary mistakes.

tags: @anonymousewrites

Part I ｜Part II (You're here!)｜Part III

It was hot. That was the first feeling you got. Like those summers in the bayou, but a hundred times worse. You wondered if you were running a fever. If everything was just a wild fever dream, and you were currently on a hospital bed fighting off the Spanish flu while your dad worriedly sat by your side.

But as you opened your eyes. You found that there was no fever dream. Only nightmares.

You had been sent to hell for keeping quiet. Heaven considered that the officers death could have been prevented if you had just talked to someone about what you saw. But you chose not to, and also chose to pretend it didn't happen just to try and keep some semblance of normalcy. Your silence had only made you an unwilling accomplice in two murders.

You were not made for hell, never were. And suddenly finding yourself in a place were anyone could easily kill, rape or torture you didn't do wonders for your psyche.

You spent the next ninety years hiding in the corners, eating what little crumbs you could feed yourself, barely sleeping just in case some of your 'friendly neighbors' decided to take you by surprise and avoiding all kind of human (or demonic) contact.

You would be lying to yourself if you said those were the only reasons for such a paranoid way of living. The other, and principal reason why you kept moving and hid yourself was the very same reason why you ended up here.

Him.

Not even a week had passed before he had suddenly spawned there as well. Host of his very own diabolical radio show, he had quickly seized control of the former overlords and killed them one by one, broadcasting their cries of fear and pain to all the city. Positioning himself as a prominent member of the new batch of overlords.

He was a monster. 'Alastor The Radio Demon' he was called in fearful whispers. And he kept getting worse and worse. You couldn't help but wonder if the man who had raised you had really been there at all or it had been just another facade, for his own entertainment and amusement.

Everywhere you go you would faintly hear the static of his radio program, it almost seemed that he was following you. There was no escaping his influence. Had he found you? Did he know you were there as well? Did he even care at all?

Sometimes you resented him for breaking your happy mortal life, sometimes you wished you could show yourself to him and maybe everything would be magically reverted to the way it was back then. Sometimes you cried yourself to sleep, fearing that the first thing he would do if he found you would be slaughter you and broadcast your screams.

Fear always got the best of you, so you kept running, hiding, avoiding the exterminations as best as you could and doing some things for the sake of survival that would haunt you forever.

You will live to see another day. You had to. You may not be able to kill anyone, but you will survive.

Until one day you got caught.

You should have listened to your instincts that were screaming at you that that dump was not safe to rest. But you were too tired to care.

As soon as you close your eyes for a quick nap, a huge hand grabbed you by the hair and forcefully pulled you out. You screamed and struggled, throwing wild kicks. But a strong set of arms held you and made it impossible to move.

"Looks like we got ourselves a fighter guys!" an enormous hyena demon cackled manically.

"Boss surley will give us a fucking raise for this one. Can't wait to see how he beats the fuck out of your spunkiness."

You were terrified. What? What were they going to do to you?? You were just a kid!! How was this allowed?? You had to escape, you had to run and hide before it was too late and you found yourself enslaved to some of the most depraved souls.

You screamed, cried and begged them to let you go. But they didn't listen, they shoved you into the back of some van with other terrified demons and drove off to the worst parts of an already hellish city.

They threw you roughly on a cold hard floor, you swore that after so many years in a living hell you would have run out of tears to cry. Well, there you were bawling your eyes out.

"P-please"

The mob boss just laughed, a disgusting pig like demon. "Look at her, ain't even started and she's already crying. Oh, little one, you're going to make some owner the fucking happiest guy ever. And I know the right guy."

So that was it. It was over for you. After everything you had gone through, it seemed like your fate was to be forever enslaved, tortured and finally killed at the hands of a demon. Nobody would come to rescue you. You doubted there was even someone out there who would really miss you.

Maybe you deserved it.

Maybe it was time to really pay for your cowardice.

The tears didn't stop flowing, but you had already resigned to your fate.

The demons were coming closer, some of them with chains, another with a collar, and one with a branding rod.

You could almost feel the burning of metal in your skin. The painful beginning of a new chapter in your afterlife.

And even then, despite everything you had gone through and your fears, whatever remained of that innocent little girl you once were, was quietly praying Daddy would barge in and save you from the bad guys.

The lights suddenly went out, which only terrified you even more. Knowing what they were going to do was bad enough, but not being able to see it? They may as well shoot you dead.

For a couple of seconds everything was in complete silence. "The fuck are you waiting for? Turn the fucking-" The boss was interrupted by a loud radio frequency screech. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up, you felt the cold hands of terror grab a hold of you .

No.

Nononononono.

You weren't- You didn't- You prayed he wasn't actually going to show up. Despite being trapped between a rock and a hard place, you cursed yourself for your childish wishes.

The static kept getting louder, to the point you had to cover your ears to avoid having your eardrums split. In the corner, right on the left where your assaulters stood, some of them doubled over in pain with blood coming out of their ears, a mass of shadows started moving on their own.

A sob got caught in your throat when you realized where this was going to go. Now it was really over.

The shadows kept getting bigger and bigger, shaping themselves until all that remained was a giant and grinning entity of darkness.

You were completely frozen in your spot, not daring to make a sudden move, just in case you attracted that monster's attention. His Glasgow smile kept getting wider, some drool falling from his lips. He was like a hungry predator watching a tasty piece of meat.

You thought that the worst part would be when more tentacles shot from his back, launching themselves against the assaulters and tearing them apart easily while some chunks of blooded meat fell on his open mouth and others got stuck on his massive antlers. The sound of radio static mixed with his hysterical laughter generated a deep feeling of anxoiusness and fear inside you.

As you dared to look into his pupils, now red radio dials, hoping to find something that would anchor you to whatever remained of your sanity, you knew that had you been alive, you would have died again from fright.

Because there was nothing that could remind you of your father in those eyes.

And with that last thought, you happily welcomed unconsciousness.

[triptuckers]

wild flowers - percy jackson

Request: yes! "Can I request a platonic Percy Jackson x Child of Demeter!Reader based off the new Disney series? Where Child of Demeter!Reader is significantly older than Percy (17/18 maybe?) and is the one to welcome him to camp instead of Luke. Reader is more gentle and understanding to Percy's questions and is in general sort of a parent figure in the camp?" Pairing:  percy jackson x demeter!reader (platonic) Summary:  you welcome the newest kid at camp half-blood Warnings:  none (omg??) Word count:  1.1K A/N: was excited when I saw the new episode will be out on Tuesday but then I looked at the time zone and it's 3 am for me so I'll still watch it on wednesday :') thanks for your request, enjoy!

you try not to look away as percy, the newest addition to camp half-blood, nearly shoots another camper. he falls to the ground due to the force of the bow.

'alright.' you say, walking over to see if percy's okay. 'so not archery.'

'I didn't mean to!' says percy, looking at the kids who had flattened themselves to the ground to avoid being shot.

'of course you didn't, they know that. can I have the bow?' you say.

percy quickly shoves the bow in your hands as well as the quiver of arrows. you hand them back to the apollo kid who was teaching him with a thanks and an apologetic smile.

'see, I suck at this.' says percy. 'I'm not good at anything.'

'hey, that's not true.' you say. 'everyone is good at something. c'mon, I'll take you to my favorite spot at camp.'

that gets his attention. 'your favorite spot?'

'yep. right this way.'

you lead him away from the archery field. you can tell he's curious. you take him to the strawberry field, where some of the satyrs and your siblings are tending to the plants.

you walk past the strawberries to a field of grass where wild flowers grow.

'it's pointless.' says percy as the two of you sit down.

you frown. 'what is?'

he gestures around. 'all of this. I'm not one of you. it's clear there's something wrong with me. none of this matters because my dad won't reveal himself, he doesn't care. my mom is gone. I suck at archery. and I can't work in the forge. I can't do anything.'

you look at him. most kids are tough on themselves when they arrive. percy isn't any different.

'at least you didn't suck as much at archery than I did.' you say. 'contrary to you, I actually did hit someone when trying out archery '

percy's eyes widen. 'you did?'

you nod. 'apollo kids had to patch them up. luckily it wasn't that bad. but still I haven't touched a bow since. and I'm also not good at sword fighting. I only carry one because it's the weapon I suck the least with.'

'what if you suck at everything?' asks percy softly.

you smile at him. 'this is all normal. we all felt like this when we came here, regardless if we could already fight or not. and look at me, I still can't fight that well. I'm a joke compared to luke and clarisse if it comes to fighting. gods, even annabeth is better than me and she's your age.'

you point ahead to the strawberry fields. 'my cabin doesn't bring forth the best fighters. and that's okay. we're good at other things.' you say.

percy looks at your siblings, sure enough, not a lot of them carry weapons. maybe you do because you're head counsellor of your cabin.

'when did you find out who your mom was?' asks percy.

you sense he's not just curious about your godly heritage. he wants to know how long it would take before his father claims him. and he already knows there are unclaimed kids.

'for me it was pretty clear. I've always loved plants. I've got an impressive garden back at home.' you say. 'demeter claimed me my second day at camp.'

'so pretty fast...'

'for some kids it's fast. for some it's slow. some kids are very certain about who their godly parent is and sometimes they're right and sometimes they're not. you can't predict it with 100% accuracy.'

'did someone guess it correctly?'

'most of the times it's the athena kids who are right about their hunches. but they're athena kids of course, very smart. also a lot of ares kids are right. and for others it's a 50/50 chance. for instance, milo. everyone was convinced he was a hephaestus kid because he really liked to blow stuff up. turns out he's an athena kid. he's just really smart about blowing stuff up.'

'I bet I'm a kid of the god or failure or something. I'm just a regular kid, I'm not special. I don't have any impressive powers. not like you.'

'you think my powers are impressive?' you chuckle. 'I'm good with plants percy. over the years I've learned how to master those. but at first all I did was accidentally make flower patches.'

percy looks at you, frowning. 'you what?'

you laugh, then point to your shoes. they look like you've worn them every day for the past five years. which you have, somehow they won't wear down.

'these were a gift from my mom. if I don't wear them, flowers grow where I walk.'

'really?'

you nod and take them off. you get up and walk a circle around percy. and indeed, flowers grow where you put your feet down on the grass. you pick one and give it to percy, then put your shoes back on.

'it's the only thing I still can't master. maybe it's not something to be mastered. I'd ask my mom but the only time I saw her was when I was out fighting for my life. wasn't really the time to ask about flowers. she didn't even give me my shoes in person, just sent them here.'

you and percy are silent as you look out over the valley. you remember your first days at camp, how scared you were. you didn't know anyone, you were told your mom was a goddess, and you could never have a moment alone because there would always be someone who could find you based on the flowers you left behind.

'everyone here has been through what you're going through now.' you say. 'maybe they didn't experience it in the same way. I mean, you did kill the minotaur. but all of them have been confused, wondered about wether they belong, if there's something wrong with them. we all found our way in the end.'

'did you feel like you didn't belong?'

'sure. but then chiron explained to me it's all because of the gods. we've got dyslexia because our brain is wired in greek. the adhd is from our need to fight. it's all in our dna. just give it time, you'll belong. any other questions?'

'what do you do when you're not at camp?'

you smile. 'try not to run into any monsters and wait for the time to go to camp again. you'll find your family here, percy, trust me. now let's see if the aphrodite can teach you anything.'

you get up and offer your hand to percy. after pulling him to his feet, you start to walk toward the aphrodite cabin.

'you know, regardless of what cabin you belong to, you can always come to me if you have any questions.' you say.

percy smiles at you. 'thanks.'

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rulesHere’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit/Max

[coryosbaby]

Sub!stepbro!rafe please 😩

Summary: You steal coke from your stepbrother/fuck buddy, and he’s absolutely pussy whipped.

Warning: drug use, stepcest (stepbrother x stepsister), Rafe is in love, mommy kink, edging, spanking (m recieving 😇), oral (m receiving), ball sucking, p n v, body worship, mild mentions of feet kissing, doing Coke off his dick and ass oops, ball sucking, squirting, creampie, sub! Rafe, dom! Reader, literally not canon at all but idc I wanna dominate him

“I know you took it!”

Rafe’s voice screams out throughout the incredibly large Cameron estate as you walk down the stairs, his fists clenched at his sides as he watches your retreating form. You roll your eyes, used to his tantrums and spoiled personality from the many months of living with him. You’re both alone, the house echoing your words and otherwise being completely empty.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Rafe.” You reach the end of the staircase to grab your jacket and slip it on. But before you can, Rafe’s hands grab your wrists harshly. He yanks you to him, his breath heavy and uneven.

“Give me my fucking coke back.”

So maybe you do know what he’s talking about. But so what? Rafe isn’t like you. Whereas coke makes him violent and corrupted, it makes you… well, an average coke addict. It isn’t a surprise for anyone to learn that what’s wrong with Rafe’s brain goes far beyond addiction. So, stealing it isn’t necessarily wrong.

It’s definitely not something anyone with half the balls you have would do, though.

Rafe’s voice on the edge of threatening,, but you merely bat an eyelash at the boy. His face is flushed, mouth mere inches away from your face as he looks down at you with a hesitant angered expression. Your eyes avert to the incredibly long fingers wrapped around your wrist, and then back up to him again with a clenched jaw.

“Let go of me, Rafe.” You demand. He hesitates, and the nervous softening of his grip doesn’t go unnoticed. You move closer, getting on your tip toes to reach his tall height. “Let go of me…now.”

He doesn’t remove his fingers from your wrists at first, but after a moment his hands drop from yours.

Rafe isn’t one to be told what to do, but when it’s you… it’s like he can’t do anything but follow your orders. The other times before this, the times when you had fucked him up in secret, in so many more ways than one, doesn’t help the situation. And as messed up as it is, you’re the only woman who can make him fall to his knees.

Even if you’re the daughter of his dad’s wife.

A small smirk forms on your face, eyes wild, and you’re taking another step towards him. He stumbles back into the wall. You laugh at the look in his eyes. One at first glance would say it’s annoyance, but you know better.

It’s fear.

“I don’t like boys who don’t do what they’re told the first time.”

Rafe scoffs, body moving to walk backwards up the stairs as you follow him with slow steps.

“I don’t like thieves.”

“Don’t be greedy and I won’t have to steal it.”

He chuckles nervously, reaching the top of the staircase.

“‘M not greedy. Just wished you would’ve asked first.”

You pause. You’re both off the steps now, eyes following each others as you beckon him towards your room.

“If you want it so bad, maybe you should come in my room and get it.”

The insinuation doesn’t go unnoticed. Rafe’s face flushes a deep crimson.

“Yeah?” He replies. He reaches for your doorknob, right across from his. “Guess I have to find it, then. Right?”

You don’t say anything, but a smile quirks your lips as he brings himself inside. When his knees hit the edge of your bed you push him down harshly. He gasps, his body hitting the mattress underneath him with a loud thud. He lifts himself up onto his elbows as you approach your bookshelf. Seated on the highest shelf is a golden jewelry box. You pull out the third drawer. You grab the packet of white powder sitting inside and turn around to show the boy.

“This what you want?”

You can tell by the way his mood changes, excitement glazing his features as he looks at the drug. “Yeah.”

“Gonna have to earn it.” You say, coldly.

“I’ll do anything.”

And you know he means it. So you walk over to the bed and grab him by his ankles. His jeans are still on, and your fingers begin to undo his belt. He looks at you with a desperate gaze; you know he could take his clothes off himself, but where’s the fun in that? And so, once the belt is through the loops, you unbutton his jeans and push them down. Dior briefs are exposed to you, and you snicker.

“I didn’t even know dior made underwear. Preparing for something, Cameron?”

The boy huffs. “I just- I know it’s your favorite brand, that’s all.”

“So you wore them for me?” Your fingers ghost over the large bulge accompanying the fabric. He lets out a low groan. “That’s so cute. But it sounds like you came to me looking for a fight. Just so I’d put you in your place.”

“Maybe I did. So what?” He snarks. You narrow your eyes, and your palm lands harshly on his thigh. He whines.

“Don’t be a fucking brat. Now take your shirt off and turn over.”

Of course, he obeys; hands going to the hem of his striped top, he pulls it over his head and exposes his naked chest and torso to you. He’s gorgeous, perfectly chiseled and tense with arousal. He uses his legs to turn himself around onto his stomach.

“Like this?” He asks. Faux innocence drips off of every honeyed syllable.

“Yes, baby. Just like that.”

You sit down on your pink sheets next to Rafe’s pliant body. He’s breathing shallowly, waiting for you next move. You grab his ankles once again and maneuver his body so he’s laying across your lap. His brows furrow in confusion, but they quickly lift into pleasure as his mouth falls open. Your palm comes down on his left cheek. A teasing slap, one that isn’t meant to cause pain, but enough to present the idea of spanking to the boy’s mind.

“Yeah…” It’s all Rafe’s brain can muster, the feeling of being bent over his stepsister’s knee making blood rush to his cock a lot more than it should. “Thas’ good, momma…”

“Jesus...” You pull down his briefs, exposing his pretty round globes to the room. You grab the bag of coke and quickly poor a line down onto his right cheek. Rafe tries to look back at what you’re doing, but you’re other hand grabs his hair and yanks him back down to look at the bed.

“Don’t. Stay fucking still.”

You pull and adjust Rafe’s thighs so he’s a bit lifted. Careful not to spill the coke, you bring your nose down to his cheek and snort up the white powder. He knows what you’re doing, and his legs clench together as he tries to relieve his arousal and the urge to snatch the bag out of your hands. Your eyes roll back when the drug hits your system, a low groan leaving your lips.

“Fuck, that’s good.”

Rafe just moans, bare cock pressing against your thigh as he tries to rut against it. He’s dripping, you can feel him making a wet spot form on your skirt. Your palm goes down to his ass again; not to hit him, just to feel him under your fingertips.

“It’s okay, Rafe.” you coo. “You’ll get your share. Just be patient.”

“Don’t wanna,” he whines. “Wanna do a line off your tits… wanna fuck your pussy. Want ‘em both so bad.”

“You’ll get to soon. But I think you need a punishment for your smart mouth, first. Don’t you?”

He doesn’t say anything, just rocks his ass back into your hands as confirmation: yes, momma. I do need a punishment. I’ve been a bad boy.

Rafe has always been shy with words. So you don’t scold when he doesn’t reply. You just tilt your hand back, and spank him harshly. He mewls, hands gripping the sheets below him as his cheeks redden from your abuse. Another slap comes down, and after a few more you can feel tears dripping on your thigh. You smile at the sight of his reddened cheeks, the way he squirms when you rub your fingers over him. And after five more hits, the boy is sobbing into your leg.

“Such a sweet boy,” you praise. He shakes when you press a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Taking your punishment so well. I think you deserve a reward.”

“Please, mommy.” He pleads.

“Get up, honey. Sit up on your knees for a minute.”

He obeys, a small sniffle sounding from him as he does so. The sight of Rafe Cameron, your stepbrother, crying for you like this shouldn’t make you so wet. But it does.

When he’s on his knees you make sure to put a pillow down on the mattress before getting him to lay down on his back; he’s a strong boy, and he can handle a lot, so his sore ass is the last thing he’s thinking of when you ask if he’s okay. He just nods, cushioned underneath the pillow and looking up at you with heavy eyes and a large, hardened cock. You pick up the coke bag again, and teasingly hold it in front of your clothed pussy. And when Rafe sees it, he’s like one of Pavlov’s dogs: The two of his favorite things right in front of each other. He looks at you with longing.

“Can I have them? Please?”

“Not yet.”

He goes to whine, but you shush him with the threat of spanking him again.

“Just stay down, Rafe.” You demand. He nods, although he wants to protest.

You grip his cock, and his eyes flutter shut in surprise and pleasure. But it’s all in stride; you’re only holding it right now. Rafe’s bottom lip gets caught between his teeth when he feels your spit pool along his shaft. And then, you pour the coke onto his cock. It’s an odd feeling, and it tingles a bit. But when Rafe looks down, he wonders why he’s never done it before. Your nose is pressed against him, trying to snort up most of the coke. It’s just messy, though. His pre cum just made the coke stick to him, so you’re practically rubbing your face in his arousal.

And Jesus, that makes Rafe’s cock kick.

“Can’t get it?” He teases.

You just reply, “Fuck you, Cameron.” And then move your tongue along his cock. And he gasps, low and throaty, as he feels your tongue lick along the base of his length and then down to his balls. He’s hairless there (of course he is), so it’s easy and makes it all worthwhile. As you suckle the heavy sacks into your mouth, your pussy drips with wetness.

“Oh my god, that’s good, shit—“ Rafe fucks up into your mouth, and you press his hips back down so he can’t. You look up at him and watch as his face scrunches up in pleasure when your teeth graze his balls. You pull off of him with a pop as he continues to beg for his release.

“I’m gonna give you what you want now.” You state.

“Really? Thank you—“ he leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead and cheeks. It shouldn’t be as affectionate as it is. “—thank you so much, momma.”

And he means it. Which isn’t common for Rafe fucking Cameron. But he does a lot of things he usually doesn’t do when he’s with you.

You lay down on your back with the coke in your hand. When Rafe tries to reach for it, you just tsk.

“No, baby. You have to fuck me first.”

He frowns, but he’s also giddy from the thought of being able to stick himself inside you. So he does what he’s told, and lifts up your skirt. The smell of your arousal hits him, and he keens.

“You smell so fuckin’ good.” He mumbles. And he can’t wait any longer, so he pushes your thong to the side and slides right into your soaked entrance. You smile, head tilting back and exposing your neck. Rafe doesn’t hesitate to leave bite marks along the expanse of the skin there. You’re the perfect amount of heat and wetness to make his cock throb in its place.

“Good?” You ask. You know the answer, but you want him to talk to you more.

“Really, really good.” He groans. “You’re always so tight— best pussy I’ve ever had, fuck!”

He’s trying to hold his resolve, but with all the edging you’ve been doing he going to cum quick. He sobs as he bucks up into you, as you drip around his girthy length. And then your arms are wrapping around his back as you start to unzip the bag of coke once again. You pull your top down and expose your breasts to Rafe, and pour the substance in between the valley of skin there. His mouth opens wide, and he just… shoves his face into it. It’s so filthy, and so vulgar, as he snorts the drug up into his nose and licks it off of you. He starts to lick your nipples ferociously, muttering thank yous over and over again. His fingers reach down to rub your clit and you cry out at the pleasure.

“Good boy- good Fuckin’ boy, Rafe!” You moan out. “God.. ‘m gonna cum! Gonna cum all over your cock—“

And that’s exactly what you do. Your high crashes over you in powerful waves, and Rafe lets out a small laugh as he watches you squirt all over him.

“Yeah. That’s it, momma.” He looks genuinely happy, genuinely excited and content. “I’m- I’m so proud of you, holy shit.”

“Yeah?” You try to tease calmly, but the force of your orgasm has you stuttering and shaky. “You have to come for me, too.”

And that brings Rafe back to his cock inside of you, to his unfinished orgasm, and he begins to pummel you with no remorse. His thighs slap against yours aggressively as you scream from the overstimulation. He catches sight of the bracelet you have wrapped around your ankle. It’s made of solid gold, one he had gotten you for your nineteenth birthday, that has Cameron engraved on it in thick letters. Ward and your mom had found it endearing.

‘Your brother got your last name on it!’ Your mother had gushed. ‘How sweet!’

Little did she know that it was a sign of his possession. His possession over his stepsister, his baby sis, as he called you around his family. But although Rafe owns you, he knows you’ll always be the one in control: in control of his thoughts, his mind, his body, his feelings. You’re everything.

He presses kisses to your toes. Not in a weird way.. at least he hopes it’s not in a weird way. His tongue runs along the ridges of your ankle, a little bit up your calf. His strong arms grab ahold of your thighs and push them up, up. Eventually they’re over your head, and you’re crying out for another orgasm. His nose buries itself into your neck, and he can smell you— perfume, sweat, skin, cocaine, and fuck, Rafe doesn’t think he’s ever been with someone this perfect. And when you cry out his name on your lips, when you clench around him just right, he’s filling your cunt up with thick ropes of his cum. He eats you out afterwards, of course. He’s yours, after all, and whatever you want you get. And it’s perfect, even after that: when you’re laying there while he’s on top of you, snorting that last bit of drug that you had stolen from him, his high buzzing through his brain. When your hands run through his hair and offer to put lotion on the spots where you had spanked him. It’s perfect.

Almost. Because how in the fuck are you going to explain this to your parents?

[tearsofmydeadhorse]

how I think different members of the chain would sneeze because I’ve fully lost my mind

wild:

before the calamity, he was one of those people who suppress their sneezes, mainly so that he could stay silent. anyone who saw him sneeze would hear a small sound and see him violently jerk with the force of the sneeze, and that was just it.

post-calamity, though, he fully embraces his loud sneezing. rumor has it his sneeze is louder than the roar of a lynel, and flora once joked that he could defeat ganon by the sheer force of it. the chain hates it. every single one of them is put on edge by loud noises, so every time wild sneezes all eight of them have a flash of panic as they all reach for their weapons before they realize, ah. everything is fine. wild just got some dust in his nose.

they all hate it, but they don’t try and tell him to be quiet. he’s an unstoppable force that will not be silenced again

wind:

he screams “ACHOO” with every sneeze. he’s competing with wild to see who can do it the loudest, but so far wild’s still winning. wind’s isn’t a scary as wild’s is, because while wild’s is sudden and ear-shattering, everybody within a ten mile radius knows when wind’s about to sneeze because of the fact he goes “ah-ah-ah—ACHOOO” every time it happens. he does it on purpose because he thinks it’s funny, and is currently running in first place on the Most Obnoxious Sneeze list. he takes pride in his position.

time:

time is third on the Most Obnoxious Sneeze list, after wild and wind. he’s got one of those loud dad sneezes, and every time it happens he groans as if he’s shattered all his bones and says something along the lines of, “that was a doozy.” if he sneezes multiple times in one day he’ll start counting them, and every time he goes, “unbelievable. fourth sneeze of the day!” there are multiple groans from the chain. everyone thinks that’s just How He Is, but in reality he’s just being a little shit and takes great amusement in the fact they all think he’s some old man.

when they get to time’s hyrule, malon plays along, acting as if it’s just time’s old age catching up to him. in private, however, the both of them are in hysterics at how seriously the entire chain believes it all. they’re both little shits. will the chain ever know?

four:

he’s one of those people who sneezes about fifty times in one breath. the number of tiny, quick sneezes depends, but they’re always in intervals of four. sometimes it’s four sneezes at once. sometimes it’s eight. sometimes it’s sixteen. the chain’s impressed and a little concerned, and at one point legend makes a comment about how it sounds like he’s multiple people sneezing at once. four just laughs it off (perhaps a little too hard?).

legend:

bunny sneeze. that’s all. he’s got the tiniest, and quite honestly the cutest sneeze out of all of the chain. for the longest time he tried to hide it, because he knew exactly how they’d all react, but alas, one day it was a little too dusty in one of hyrule’s caves, and it had to happen eventually.

obviously the entire chain had to comment about it (read: make fun), and it only stopped when legend’s face became as pink as his hair. wind made some comment about how he was grateful legend wasn’t an annoying sneezer like the trio currently battling for the title of Most Obnoxious Sneeze, which resulted in a large argument about who was truly worthy for the title, which changed the topic quickly.

and if there are still a couple of muffled laughs every time legend sneezes, he guesses it is kind of funny. but only kind of.

sky:

he legitimately just sounds like he’s coughing. wheezing, even. nobody knows whether or not to say “bless you,” because they don’t know if he’s sneezed or if he’s just got something in his throat. sky thinks it’s funny and will say “no ‘bless you’?” after he coughs sometimes, just to be a little shit and confuse them. they all hate it, because how are they supposed to be polite if sky calls every sneeze a cough and every cough a sneeze?! sky thrives off of their distress. he is the original link, after all—where do you think the others got it from?

hyrule:

they have never heard him sneeze once in his life. he’s so incredibly quiet with it that everyone thoroughly believes he just can’t sneeze. maybe it’s a fairy thing, who knows, they don’t want to be rude! in reality he just needs to be quiet to survive in his hyrule, so his sneezes are a lot less earth-shaking then some of his brothers’ sneezes (hint, hint). still, he doesn’t correct their assumptions. they can handle a little mystery solving, can’t they? plus, he’s a little curious to see how long it will take for them to find out the truth. and seeing them tiptoe around it is a little amusing, too. maybe he’ll even start giving them false clues—would they believe him if he said that fairies didn’t breathe through their noses? that fairies don’t sneeze because they use their wings to breathe?

yes. every link is a little shit, in case you couldn’t tell. hyrule is no exception.

twilight:

sneezes like a dog. sometimes it just sounds like he’s hacking. his head shakes like a dog’s when he sneezes, too, and he is 100% made fun of for it. “did the ghost of that wolf pelt possess you, rancher?” “been spending too much time around wolfie?” post-wolfie reveal it makes a lot more sense to the chain, but pre-wolfie reveal it’s the funniest thing ever. he’ll sneeze when something’s too strong-smelling or at random moments when sneezing really doesn’t make any sense, and he’s been given the title of “awkward sneezer” because it always happens at the worst time. it’s happened mid-battle before—but really, who can blame him? wild’s bokoblins were putting WAY too much seasoning on their food!

warriors:

his sneeze is normal. too normal. so remarkably normal that the rest of the chain are determined to find out how he does it. what does he mean, that’s just how his sneeze has always been? it isn’t too loud? too quiet? too canine or feline or any other type of -ine? is he really sure he’s a link, if his sneeze doesn’t sound like something even ganon would fear? he has a sneeze, it’s just so…basic.

warriors just shrugs and says that maybe he’s the only normal one among them. out of all nine, maybe he’s the only sane one. the chain knows this isn’t true.

what they don’t know, however, is that warriors is a master of deception, and that he goes to sleep at night with a smile on his face at the knowledge that the chain will never, ever know his secret…

his sneeze is louder than wild’s.

[goosita]

first of all i love you. really. everything that you're writing is making my life so much better, so thank u <3 if that's okay for u, could you write something where reader is a single mom, she has a little girl and her daughter is very attached to billy? and it's the most sweetest thing ever cause billy loves her, calls her little princess (very sweet tooth 😭) one night, her daughter asks billy to read a storie for her to sleep and he does so and in the end, she says something like "i wish you were my dad" and it's just so cute and funny cause she gagged everyone, reader is like "babe!!!!" while billy is in shock but at the same time his heart is melting 🥺🥺 (sorry if this is too much, just write if u want!)

oh im. gonna cry and sob and piss everywhere this is the sweetest softest thing ive ever read yes oh my god

billy would be so so sweet with your daughter, especially if she was around 4-6 years old. at first you were worried that a man like him wouldn’t want anything to do with a single mother, especially one as young as you. but he never asked you to explain, and never judged you for it. all he ever did was treat you like a queen, and your daughter like a princess.

and your little girl is just enamored with him. she follows after him like a little duckling, so much so that billy starts to call her “ducky”. it makes her giggle every single time, always makes billy smile all warm and fond. they get on like a house on fire, your man and your baby girl. billy teaches her things like how to ride a horse, how to tie all kinds of knots, how to rope a little goat even. your daughter tells you one evening, her little face very serious, that she thinks “billy knows everything, mama. everything!” you want to let her believe it for as long as possible.

on this particular day, all 3 of you had spent the day together. billy had showed up bright and early to take you for a picnic out in a meadow behind your house, a daylong excursion that lasted until the sun slowly set. it was late spring, cicadas beginning to sing in the tall grass. once it got dark outside, billy pulled out a jar and showed your daughter how to catch fireflies. once they had about 10 of them, they sat on the blankets with their heads ducked together to observe them, giving each one a unique name.

“let’s call this one tommy,” she says, pointing at a bug near the bottom.

“perfect name, ducky. how’d you get so good at this?”

your little girl giggles, shrugging and letting billy name the next one. it makes your heart so happy to see a man with so much patience and love for your daughter.

when you finally return to the house, it’s time to get your kid ready for bed. tired and pliant from her long day outside catching bugs and weaving flower crowns (that of course billy taught her how to do), she goes down without much of a fight. she does ask billy to stay and tell her a bedtime story, though, and he’s never been one to deny that sweet little face whatever she wants.

you half-listen as billy spins some wild tale about a princess who slay dragons herself, one who doesn’t need a prince to come and rescue her. she’s strong and brave and guess what? she looks just like your little girl, same hair color and little lilac colored dress. his story makes her smile, even as her sleepy eyes begin to blink more slowly. when he finishes, he leans down to kiss her forehead softly and tuck her blanket around her small little body.

“i wish you were my daddy,” she murmurs sleepily, rubbing her eye with one small fist. you see billy freeze and slowly look to you, unsure what to say.

“oh, baby—“ you start, taking a step forward. billy gently cuts you off, which you welcome, not sure what to tell her.

“you know, ducky, sometimes i wish that too,” he whisper conspiratorially. her eyes light up curiously.

“really?” she asks, looking up at him.

“mhm,” he says with a nod. “but i think this little thing we have going here is even more special. you know why?”

she waits for an answer, eyes full of curiosity and wonder at the man sitting on the edge of her bed.

“because i didn’t help to give you life, life gave you and me to each other. and that’s pretty special, don’t you think?”

your little girl smiles, nodding her head. you swallow hard, your eyes feeling a little misty at the way he loves your baby and she loves him. it’s so pure, so unconditional the way they’ve attached themselves to each other.

billy smiles at her and brushes her hair away from her face, giving her chubby cheek a soft caress.

“sweet dreams, baby girl.”

“goodnight billy,” she says with a little yawn, snuggling down into her pillow. billy blows out the oil lamp beside her bed, following you out of her bedroom and closing the door softly.

“i’m sorry if i overstepped, i didn—“ he’s cut off by you grabbing his face and pulling him down into a dizzying kiss. you smile against his mouth when he doesn’t hesitate for even a second to kiss you back, his arms winding around your waist to pull you closer.

“thank you,” you whisper when you finally break away for air. “for loving both of us, for taking care of us.”

“sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me for that. i’ll always be here to take care of my two best girls,” he says with a grin, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear. “and who knows? maybe one day soon you’ll let me put a ring on that pretty little finger and that little girl in there can call me whatever she wants.”

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || You Ask For Help With Your Kids

BTS x Male!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

SEOKJIN:

It wasn't often that you would ask for help but Seokjin knew when you asked it was going to be desperate which was why when he'd seen the text's coming through he'd practically sprinted out of the meeting he was in and raced to your place.

"What happened?" He called out as he saw you sitting on the floor looking completely defeated in yourself. 

"The twins are going wild, they won't go to bed without your story and then...Then he wouldn't sleep and he threw up over everything," You whispered as you cuddled your sleeping baby to your chest,

"He's got a fever and I can't-"

"I've got the twins, you focus on him." He whispers as you nod, thanking him with your eyes as he walks toward the twin's bedroom, staring at both boys.

"I thought we agreed we'd behave for your dad or there wouldn't be anymore Uncle Jin time." He placed his hands on his hips and that's all it took for the boys to climb into bed and wait for him to start reading his story.

You came out of the nursery to find Jin had already washed everything that baby had thrown up on and had done a tidy-up for you.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," You grumble as you drop down onto the sofa beside Jin who held out a glass of whiskey for you to take, both of you clinking the glasses before relaxing.

YOONGI:

"Jesus, Yn, it's almost 3 in the morning." Yoongi laughed as you walked into his studio, dropping onto the sofa as he walked over to you.

"She won't settle without you," You mumble a little as Yoongi starts to rock your daughter in his arms. Every night since you'd been a single father Yoongi had made sure to come around and help you out with your daughter, rocking her to sleep and it was starting to prove to be a mistake since now she refused to sleep without him there.

"Then I guess we'll have to move in together and become a real-life "Full house"." Yoongi laughs as you yawn, laying your head on the back of his sofa and letting yourself relax a little.

"Sleep, okay? I'll wake you up in the morning." Yoongi whispers to you making you hum at him, too tired to fight him on any of it.

HOSEOK:

It was hard being a single dad, trying to get your pay check to stretch over everything you could but now your sons were wanting dance lessons and you wanted to give them everything they wanted.

"Are sure this is okay though? I-"

"Please, I've been dying to teach again and it'll be fun," Hoseok said as he flipped on the lights to the studio, your two sons grinning as they walked inside taking in the room around them.

You'd briefly mentioned to Hoseok about the boys wanting to learn dance and that you couldn't afford to send them to proper lessons and he'd jumped up at the chance to teach them.

"This way, you get two nights a week to yourself," Hoseok nudged you a little as you smiled sweetly at him, 

"And you're sure-

"If you ask me one more time I'll never babysit again," He warns you before smirking to let you know it was only a joke and you sigh a little watching as your sons prepared for their first lesson.

NAMJOON:

It was the guys who noticed first, glancing behind Namjoon to see you pacing around in the hallway, bouncing a newborn in your arms as you tried your best not to cry in front of everyone there.

"What's wrong?" Namjoon frowned at the guys, slowly turning and gasping when he saw you. Without even telling the guys he lept out of the meeting and into the hallway with you,

"I know, you're busy and I'm sorry but he-He won't settle and I can't-I don't know what I'm doing," You cried as you looked up at Namjoon who gently took the 5-week-old from your arms and rocked him a little.

"It's fine, just breathe," Namjoon whispers to you as he tries to soothe your screaming son and you at the same time.

"He's colic, the doctor said-" Before you could tell Namjoon any of the routines to help soothe him, he was already starting. Rocking your son over his shoulder as he continued to bounce a little,

"Grab my stuff from my office and we'll go back to yours," Namjoon stated as you nodded a little, just glad you weren't alone in dealing with this anymore.

JIMIN:

Jimin loved the kids and would drop everything, every time you asked him to help you out with the kids which was what had led him to stand in your living room sweating like a madman.

"Did you run?!" You squeak as you stare at him,

"Yeah, the train was late and then my car wouldn't start. What did you need help with?" He pants out heavily and you shake your head at him. Ever since you'd been left to parent your kids alone Jimin had been the one person in the world that would help you no matter what. 

"You were in the middle of a shoot weren't you?" You laugh softly seeing him in such fancy clothes,

"Maybe." He laughs along with you as your two eldest daughters come into the room, carrying bags of their washing that they'd been hiding out in their room for weeks on end.

"I'm trying to do a huge deep clean-"

"Say no more. I'll take everyone out." Jimin stated and you stared at him,

"Jimin, it's too much, the baby and the girls?" You shook your head but Jimin was already ahead of you, going to get the pram ready and the travel bag,

"I can handle the baby and the girls practically handle themselves, plus, they'd never show up, right ladies?" Jimin arched his brow at your 12-year-old girls who shook their heads, pleading silently with you to go with their uncle and you sighed.

"Go. But behave!" You yell as they rush to get ready for Jimin.

TAEHYUNG:

Taehyung honestly didn't care what he was doing, whether it was a hugely important meeting or if it was just some working alone time, if you needed him then that was exactly what he was going to focus on.

"Are you sure we didn't interrupt something?" Your voice shook a little as you spook but Taehyung shook his head at you, carefully taking the crying son out of your arms and cradling him close to his chest,

"What's all this, huh? Did you just want to see Uncle Tae Tae?" He smiles bouncing your son who - miraculously - stopped crying the moment he was in Taehyung's arms making you sigh.

"Ever since his mother left he's clung to you," You whisper, stroking some of the hair out of your son's face as he cuddled closer to Taehyung. Tae smiled a little at you,

"I'm always happy to help, you know that right?" He looked at you, you looked stressed out beyond compare. Your eyes were swollen from lack of sleep and you were starting to grow a 5 o'clock shadow.

"Go home, go shower, go have some time to yourself. I'll bring him home whenever I'm done here, that okay?" Taehyung searched your eyes to make sure you were more than okay with it and he smiled,

"I'll see you in a couple of hours," He calls out as you walk down the hall,

"And don't cook! We'll bring home takeout!" He called right as you got into the elevator.

JUNGKOOK:

"Hey, I thought you said you weren't busy..." You frown as you stare at the glass office Jungkook has just made his way out of. When you'd text and told him that your daughter was acting up and you needed help he told you to come over and that nothing was happening.

"I knew you wouldn't bring her if I was." He smirked at you as you shook your head at him, 

"She can wait-"

"Daddy please," She whined up at you, all morning long she'd been begging and pleading with you to spend time with Jungkook and you'd been trying to juggle her and the newborn twins were home alone and it was safe to say it wasn't working.

"Uncle Jungkook-"

"Can bring her into the meeting it's fine," Jungkook reassures you, biting your lip you nod a little and your daughter practically rushes into his arms.

"If she gets too much-"

"I know, no ice cream, no cookies," Jungkook finished for you and you smirked a little.

"Thank you, Kookie." You breathe out, finally heading home to go and relieve the neighbour of your twins so you can get the house into working order as well.

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[coquettetoji]

{💌} ARMIN ARLERT MOODBOARD

★ general armin hcs ★

— sweetest soul who is 100% down to earth, will scold you for not recycling your fork into the correct trash can and will pick up plastic / any trash on the ground

— nerdy golden retriever boy, and is the biggest people pleaser

— played hockey growing up and in college, he’s a right winger

— reads a shit ton of books, will press pretty and colorful flowers he finds outside into the book spine to save it

— is academically and naturally smart, gpa is a strong 4.2, majors in business, economics, or biology, some smart shit like that ( will grow up to be that hot rich dad every single mom wants )

— SLEEPER BUILD 🗣️🗣️AND A V LINE🗣️🗣️

— hands are big but they’re like bony and soft, he also plays piano so he’s good with his hands *moan*

— his most used app is spotify, google classroom, and messages

— lana del rey coded. i will argue with anyone who thinks otherwise.

— listens to cigarettes after sex, clairo, and this one random 63 hour playlist called ‘band cafe soft jazz music’

— speaking of cigarettes, armin also smokes cigarettes (ik i’m sorry) but this guy is a student athlete, ofc he’s gonna have to de-stress somehow

— drives the newest model of a white range rover with beige interior

— 6’1 teddy bear with attachment issues

— speaks french fluently

— so so so soft spoken like you will never see him yelling at another person, even when he’s frustrated

— also doesn’t like cursing, will give someone a quick glance if they cuss but won’t mind it

— has a gold chain around his neck, yes the slutty kind

— came from old money 🤭🤑, he dresses like it too i’m talking quarter zips, sweaters, khakis, and neutral colors, wears his gold thin wire framed glasses occasionally

— knows all girl shit bc of his little sister (who he adores) he learned how to take care of her so he’s really reliable when it comes to treating girls right

— his phone case is the apple silicone one that’s cream color, keeps one of his credit cards in the case behind his phone

— phone screen is him and his puppy ( spot the difference game for everyone 👍 )

— every woman he knows or did a favor for all say “his mother raised him right”

— the most organized person ever, his whole pantry would labeled and organized like khloe kardashian’s

— eren and armin are 100% that black cat golden retriever duo, take a wild guess on who is which lol

— 2 deep dimples on his cheeks that pop out when he smiles, also has light freckles dusted on his nose n around it, has the straightest whitest teeth + an adorable smile **he’s so grateful for braces existing

— overall the most genuine human out there, no detection of fuck boy here 😁😁😁

{💌} new message from mica

armin is actually my baby i love him so much i need me a soft spoken tall nerdy blonde white boy in my life now