#tag because i’m not trying to get attacked
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➸ ask: "you're gonna get lipstick all over me" with Viktor while he and reader get ready for an event. I need some fluff right now, I’m grieving )):” — ➸ pairing: viktor x fem!reader ➸ word count: 605 ➸ tags: mdni! fluff, kissing, lipstick kisses, established relationship, drabble, s1 viktor, no mention of y/n. ➸ notes: ok this was so cute to write. going to simply die with all this fluff content you’re sending me!! tysm for asking, love! 🤍 came from this prompt!
A speech and dinner. That’s all Viktor had told you about the event he’d been invited to, alongside Jayce. Enough to understand, but too little to not fully grasp what this mysterious event could be.
You weren’t a councilman, nor were you an academy student. No, you had just been a lucky bird who ran into Viktor one late night when he’d been returning home from the academy, and you were wandering around so you could get things off your mind. It was an off-chance meeting when you stumbled right into him, the song you’d been quietly whistling ripped from your lungs when you toppled backward.
It was fate, the red string, that finally pulled you together. Or that’s what you liked to think.
“So, is this an academy thing?” Your voice rang from your bedroom, perched upon the stool in front of your vanity as you touched up the pink lipstick you’d swiped along your lips, “you’re being awfully quiet about it. What if I dress too fancy and embarrass myself? Or worse, not fancy enough!”
Viktor stepped into the bedroom, hand on his cane as his eyes flickered around the room until they landed on you. Your eyes locked in the reflection, and you turned on your stool, facing up.
You were perfect, wearing a beautiful dress that reached just above your knees. A dress your mother handmade for this occasion, a well-known seamstress in Piltover.
“You look good,” he answered earnestly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “it’s an academy gala, I think. I…” he crinkled his nose, “I don’t really know exactly what it, eh… is. I wasn’t listening when Jayce reminded me.”
“And you didn’t think to ask?” You stood up after packing away your belongings, smoothing down your dress with fingers that had been delicately painted to match the colour of your clothing.
“It’s a fancy Piltover event, they’re all the same. It isn’t a big deal,” Viktor mumbled, looking down and noticing that he’d buttoned up his vest incorrectly, one side lower than the other.
With a sigh, you waltzed over to your lover, hands beating him to the button as you undid them. You were meticulous with your movements, adjusting the clothing along his slender frame once it was rightly fitted.
“Then why do you look so nervous?” Your eyes glanced up to meet his, a smirk pulling one side of your lips up.
“Not nervous,” Viktor rolled his eyes, attempting to pull away, but you were on him too quickly.
“You look good, too. I know you’re worried about it,” you grinned as your lips pressed to his chin, and you peppered a slurry of kisses against his smooth skin. It was enough to bring a smile to his lips, to let his nerves rest.
This was his first event, after all. He had simply withheld the information.
Viktor tried to pull away from your kisses that attacked his cheeks now, grinning like a fool in love, “You’re going to get lipstick all over me,” he groaned, hands grabbing at your jaw so he was able to tear your loving lips from his skin.
He stared down at you, still smiling as giggles erupted from you.
“It’s fine. The colour suits you,” you hummed, knowing very well that your freshly applied lipstick had completely smudged from your lips because there were streaks of pink over his skin.
“You are troublesome, you know that?” he mumbled, trying so hard to be annoyed, but how could he when you looked at him so lovingly.
“Just a little,” you smiled, closing the distance between your lips.
#viktor x reader#viktor arcane#viktor#arcane#arcane x reader#viktor x you#arcane fanfic#arcane fic#arcane x you#wordsbyspatial#spatialanswers
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— IN THE WAKE OF FLAMES. PT III
eris vanserra x archeron!reader
summary: even before you became fae, your favourite season was autumn. it’s a little hard to hide this when your least favourite newly appointed high lord has made it his life’s mission to be the most annoying male in your life.
a/n: sorry for such a long break!! pls let me know what u think and again if you’d like to be added to the tag list send me a message or ask as I rarely check my notifs and go back to them. also sorry abt the cliffhanger uhmmmm also unedited ok bye
“You look like crap.”
Your eyes flutter open to see Mor scrunching up her face as she peers at you from her seat across your own at the dining table. It takes a second for her words to register and you throw a belated scowl her way.
“Good morning to you too,” you mumble, sitting up to continue swirling your spoon around your bowl of barely eaten oatmeal. Your appetite seems to have vanished over the past week, but you try and force a spoonful down your throat, nearly gagging.
Mor narrows her eyes at you and her lips press into a thin line of concern. “No, you seriously look like crap. You’re not eating lately and you were literally asleep at the table when I got here.”
“I wasn’t asleep,” you say, defensively. “I was resting my eyes.”
“You sound like Cassian after a three hour afternoon nap.”
“I’m just having a little trouble sleeping.” You set your spoon down and push the offending bowl away from you before slumping in your seat. You brush off her skeptical look with a wave of your hand. “I’m always like this after absorbing Fae magic.”
And over the last few days you’ve been absorbing a lot. All in an attempt to find out as much as you could about the Fae rebel group that had been attacking the borders of multiple Courts, in order to weaken them and make a point against you.
Well, you and your sisters. Not all of Prythian was accepting of Feyre for how she was Made, and even less so of you and Nesta and Elain. Instead, they viewed you as unnatural mutations and the whispers had only become worse after the War. It seemed that the lack of conflict looming over Prythian was unacceptable in their eyes.
With the help of your powers and Azriel’s shadows, you were closer than ever to finding them. Truthfully, the idea that there were Fae out there who hated you didn’t bother you so much in the sense of feeling like outcasts, but you couldn’t lie. They were starting to be a giant pain in your ass.
“You’re never like this,” Mor scoffs, gesturing to the bags under your eyes and the hollowness of your cheeks. As her voice raises, the pounding of your head gets more intense and you attempt to hold back a grimace. “Why is it affecting you so much this time?”
“It’s the type of magic I’m absorbing,” you practically whine, abandoning all pretences of being okay and allowing your shoulders to drop. “It’s so angry and harsh and impure, Mor! It’s literally making me sick because I have nowhere else to redirect it.”
At that moment Rhysand and Feyre walk in to join you at the table.
Rhysand, having overheard you, chimes in as he reaches for a plate of fruit. “Good news, our little Siphon,” he nudges you lightly, the nickname making you scrunch your nose up in mock annoyance. “We have enough information now to move forward using Az and Cass and resources from other Courts. The only thing we need you to do now is rest.”
Rhysand’s upbeat tone brings a weak smile to your face. You know that he’s being flippant to make you feel better, like he always does when you’re stressed or unwell and you’re nothing but appreciative as he whistles under his breath, nonchalantly piling some fruit onto a plate for you.
“You should have been resting days ago,” Feyre eyes you from beside Rhys with furrowed brows, taking in your tired form. “We told you yesterday would be too much.”
You groan, burying your face in your hands. “Give me a couple hours and I’ll be fine for the meeting in Summer.”
Mor snorts and looks up at you, amused. When you raise an eyebrow, her smile drops into an incredulous expression. “You’re not serious.”
“I need to be there to discuss what I siphoned from that knife we found at the border of Dawn,” you say, holding up a hand and rushing out the rest of your words when Feyre opens her mouth to speak. “And Rhys promised me I would be there since it’ll be all the High Lords, Court informants and even soldiers. I couldn’t possibly not go.”
Feyre sighs, sensing that you’re not going to back down. She nods slowly, pointing at your plate. “Finish all of your breakfast and your lunch later on and then you can go.”
You let out a breath, feeling nauseous when Rhys slides your plate closer to you and simply shrugs when you glare at him. Traitor, you speak to him in your mind. He suddenly becomes very interested in a strawberry.
“Watch me,” you say confidently, waving your fork at Feyre who rolls her eyes at you and goes back to her own breakfast.
Summer court is your least favourite court at the best of times, though you’d never admit that to sweet and kind Tarquin, who’s arguably one of your favourite High Lords.
The beautiful, shimmering lagoons aren’t of interest to you as large bodies of water have always unsettled you. The warm breeze that everyone welcomes always reminds you of the times you had to suffer through sweltering heat when foraging for food with Feyre in your adolescence. You’ve always preferred a colder climate and appreciated a more muted daylight.
Considering your current health, the ripples in the water make you dizzy and the light salty breeze nearly brings your breakfast and lunch up.
You’re thankful for the sheer, thin material of the sage coloured dress that Nuala and Cerridwen chose for you because you suddenly feel a sheen of sweat covering your body.
“Are we done sightseeing?” you ask weakly, desperate to be inside already.
Elain turns to you and winces. “You don’t look too good….”
“Aw, thank you, Elain.”
“That’s not what I mean,” she tuts, coming over to fan your face with her hands. You swat them away, sputtering and try to catch Rhysand’s attention to move things along. He reluctantly agrees and gestures everyone to move along, too used to your aversion to Summer.
As you all enter the palace made of gleaming marble, you hang further back to avoid the watchful eyes of Feyre who seems to be waiting to send you right back home to rest.
The palace is beautiful and you push down your nausea to look around and take in the tall arched windows. The jewelled embellishments adorning the frames trail higher and higher and you crane your neck to see them.
This turns out to be a mistake when your vision starts to blur and another wave of nausea causes your steps to falter, the world tilting sharply.
A firm hand grips your elbow in an all too familiar fashion, steadying you before you’re sent flying to the ground. Another hand settles around your waist where the cutout of your dress exposes your now damp skin, glittering with sweat.
You look up and find Eris’ amber eyes locked onto your own.
“Foolish,” he mutters, his voice sharp with irritation, yet his hands remain steady in their position, holding you up. It’s the first word he’s uttered to you since your encounter a couple of weeks ago in the Spring Court where he’d left on frosty terms. You had seen him twice since then, but it was in the middle of meetings and siphoning sessions and he had barely spared you a single glance.
Your lips part but your senses are too overwhelmed to think of a response before he carries on, lightly shaking his head at you. “You overexert yourself all week and then travel here? What are you trying to prove?”
“I’m fine,” you manage to say, pulling away from him, but his grip only tightens. You can’t help glancing around and noticing that the growing crowd of all the Court officials has separated you from the Inner Circle. You huff out a breath as you register his words. You knew Rhysand had to communicate with the other High Lords with updates, but you didn’t know that included your physical state. “Gods, High Lords are such gossips…”
“You’re not fine,” he says, scowling like you’ve dreadfully inconvenienced him by nearly collapsing. His gaze flickers over the pallor of your skin and the way you’ve started to shiver slightly. “You drained yourself dry this week. And for what? To impress Rhysand? To prove something to him?”
“Let go of me, Eris,” you attempt to snap at him, but even you can hear the lack of strength in your voice. His eyes soften slightly when you say his name without your usual bite. “I can’t have this same conversation with you when I’m like this.”
“You think I want to be the one always catching you from falling on your face? Trust me when I say I have things I would rather be doing,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes.
You grit your teeth at the reminder and heat flares in your cheeks, whether it’s from embarrassment, anger or the climate of Summer, you don’t know.
Before you can retort, Eris sighs and straightens you up, still not fully letting you go. Releasing the hand around your waist, he loops your arm in his own and makes you lean on him for support. To your utter surprise, he doesn’t say anything as he starts walking towards the meeting room where everyone else files in. Despite your frustration, you’re grateful for his strength.
The moment of blissful silence doesn’t last too long, however. As he begins to lead you to where your family is stood and clearly looking around frantically for you, Eris leans in to whisper in your ear. “You need to sit down at the table,” he orders quietly, High Lord behaviour on full display.
You’re about to argue that no one else is going to be sat and he immediately catches this, cutting you off. “Don’t be stubborn for once in your life,” he murmurs, breath warm against your ear, making you shiver more than you already were. “Please?”
You quickly turn your head to meet his, shocked at the pleading in his voice. You didn’t realise how close this would bring your own face to his and words leave you. Thankfully, you’ve reached your family as you hear Cassian’s loud voice and it snaps you out of your little bubble.
“Finally!” he exclaims, throwing his arms up in exasperation. “We were about to send a search and rescue team, thinking you’d finally collapsed.”
“Why didn’t you?” Eris asks, coldly.
Cassian merely rolls his eyes at Eris’ attitude and gestures at Azriel.
Feyre comes forward to take your other arm in hers and explains. “Azriel’s shadows informed us that you were with her, Eris.” She smiles warmly and sincerely at him and Rhysand nods at him in recognition of his actions. “Thank you for looking after my sister.”
Eris shakes his head. “Don’t thank me yet. I foresee many falls in her near future that I’m sure I won’t be present for.”
Feyre’s mouth twitches, but she quickly smoothes her face into an expressionless one when you frown at her and she busies herself with disentangling you from Eris.
He takes a step back, dark and fiery hair catching the sunlight through the tall windows and glances at you once more, not breaking eye contact, yet his words are directed towards Feyre. “Just make sure she sits down. The Night Court doesn’t need a martyr,” he says drily, before walking away.
Your mouth goes dry at the double meaning in his words, but you can’t shake off the shock at seeing genuine concern in his eyes. You must have looked practically near death, but you appreciated it all the same and you don’t even realise your eyes are lingering on him as he walks away until Feyre sits you down next to Nesta.
Your older sister raises an eyebrow at you, always so intuitive and you swat weakly at her to look away from you. Cassian’s eyes flit back and forth between you two, confused.
Before he can say anything, the meeting commences and you feel a shift in the energy of the room, full to the brim of Court officials, emissaries, a few warriors and of course, the High Lords around the table.
Your turn to speak comes fairly quickly since the most information regarding the Rebels is from you and Azriel. As per Rhysand’s instructions, you don’t go into any details regarding your siphoning powers, instead just sharing the information you gained due to them. You try to ignore the way people are staring at your weak form, but you continue to speak with all the strength you can muster. Evidently, you’re doing a convincing job as people start to nod, satisfied and scribble things down.
When Azriel’s turn arrives, you zone out a little, already having heard everything a few times over. Your ears only perk up when everyone is discussing plans of action against the Rebels and a question is asked in your general direction.
“Who are we thinking is to be at the front lines of this hypothetical mission?” The question comes from one of the Spring Court advisors, Vaelith, an older Fae with silver hair gathered in one long braid down his back.
His gaze lingers on you for only a split second before moving onto Rhysand and you feel compelled to answer. “Myself and Azriel,” you blurt out, before you can think twice. “And others of course, but the two of us are the most familiar with-”
“We’re all aware of the Shadowsinger’s abilities,” Vaelith interrupts you, holding up a hand to stop you from talking. You hold back a scowl. “What makes you suitable to lead such a mission aside from your… familiarity with a selection of items left behind by these Rebels?”
“I’m more than able to-” you cut yourself off and swallow, gaining yourself a second to think of a way to defend yourself without giving away your powers, as per your High Lord’s request.
Careful, Y/N
Rhysand’s voice sounds clear as day in your head and you try not to wince at the volume considering the silence of the rest of the room. The other High Lords knew of your powers, but Rhysand had requested they keep it to themselves, even from their own Court officials. Whether or not Rhysand had used his Daemati abilities to ensure this, you didn’t want to know.
“I’m more than able to assist in a plan of action,” you continue firmly, voice hardening. “I’m not sure if you remember a certain War we just had, but you may wish to remind yourself who was at the front lines of that.”
A few laughs break the tense silence and some people start muttering, slowly raising the volume of the room. You almost don’t hear Vaelith’s next words. “You haven’t really answered my question.”
“Let’s use our senses, Vaelith,” a voice rings out from further down the table and you’re startled to realise that Eris is speaking up. The room finally quietens down and you sit up impossibly straight, surprised that Eris is about to defend you.
You couldn’t be more wrong.
He only spares you a fleeting glance, but even from your seat you could see it’s full of amusement and mocking. The thing that surprises you is that the mocking is directed at you. “Look at her. Are you really questioning the abilities of a female who barely has the strength to sit up in her seat, let alone fight?”
Your stomach drops, a ball of humiliation unfurling in your chest as he continues to speak.
“I’d like to believe Rhysand has more sense than to send someone on the frontlines who would just be doing the rebels a favour,” Eris drawls, raising an eyebrow at Rhys, still avoiding your gaze.
Rhysand nods. “I can assure you I’ll only be sending my strongest soldiers, Vaelith,” he smirks, faintly, as though the implication he’d do anything to suggest otherwise is laughable. “Now may we discuss matters of actual importance? Tarquin, what have your soldiers been preparing?”
The tension dissolves almost immediately, but you’re still shellshocked, shaking with anger rather than weakness now. It’s as though you’ve been pumped with a burst of adrenaline and it doesn’t seem to be dampening.
After the conversation has shifted to a completely different subject, you shift from your seat as discretly as possible and mutter to Nesta that you need some air before standing up.
You look at the High Lord of Autumn before you walk away, but it only infuriates you more. Eris doesn’t look anywhere near you, but his jaw is clenched all the same, as though he can feel you glaring at him.
Mor catches your arm as you’re walking out and hisses in your ear. “You’re still not well,” she turns her body fully towards you. “Wait for me to come with you.”
“Don’t worry,” you say, shaking your head and clenching your fists to keep them from trembling as you speak through gritted teeth. “I feel suddenly energised. I’ll only be outside.”
Mor gives you a once over and is clearly satisfied with the fact that you’re unlikely to collapse again as she nods and releases your arm, allowing you to rush through the crowd of people and push through the guards.
You walk briskly away from the doors of the meeting room and further down the empty hallway until you’re satisfied that no one will hear your heavy breathing.
You lean against a pillar, exhaling in and out to control your anger and keep the tears at bay. Gods, you feel so stupid. Of course, Eris is incapable of being a decent male to anyone, let alone to you. Damn him and his cruel smirk and damn Rhysand too for allowing it to happen.
Brushing away the tears that have managed to fall, you curse yourself for not just pushing him away and allowing yourself to collapse on the hard marble flooring. It was giving you whiplash the way he could be so full of concern one second and practically call you useless in front of a room full of officials the next.
The longer you stand against the marble pillar, the weaker you begin to feel and that burst of adrenaline you previously felt is no longer present. The anger that fuelled you mere seconds ago is now winding you and a rising sense of panic begins to consume you.
You decide to turn around to walk back so you’re closer to the doors of the meeting room in case you embarrassingly do collapse.
However, the second you take a step, a flash of movement in the corner of your eye is all the warning you get before strong arms clamp around you from behind and a cloth is pressed against your mouth and nose, preventing you from breathing. You can’t even scream as the scent of something strong and chemical floods your senses, making your vision blur.
You thrash around in an attempt to use the little strength you have left to escape, but the arms only grip you harder and the world begins to spin. The last thing you feel is the cool marble floor as your knees give out and no one bothers to catch you as you hit the ground, darkness swallowing you whole.
tag list: @fabulouslyflamboyant @deepestmentalityperson @lilah-asteria @kitsunetori @abysshaven @nayaniasworld @rcarbo1 @paleidiot @tenshis-cake @bunnyredgirl @goldenmagnolias @whydohumansss @fandomtrash465 @mrsbarnes32557038 @aaprilshowers @scarsandallaz @-im-fantastic- @cat-or-kitten @annamariereads16 @adelina-127 @onlymexsarah @puddlesplasher17 @eyes-capone @hermaeuswhora
#eris vanserra imagines#eris vanserra x y/n#eris vanserra x reader#eris vanserra x you#eris vanserra fanfiction#eris vanserra#eris x you#eris x reader#eris fanfic#eris acotar#eris x oc
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Yet more art fight doodles
#art tag#others ocs#art fight#I have two revenges to do!!! before I get back into bookmarked folks#I also wanna make a second attack for 2 people because I hate the first one I did lol#I’m trying not to go too crazy tho I don’t wanna burn out lol#that’s why I’ve been doodling oc stuff mostly for today
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I love the running gag that’s Norm just does some crazy shit and then Doof is like a “damn really? I gotta read that instruction manual “and norms like “Yes you should.:)”
#dictated post#It’s like 4:30 in the morning#And I’m trying to go to sleep#So I can get to class on time#And here I am thinking about the funny Robot man#With my glasses off mind you#I have no idea what the fuck I’m writing#phineas and ferb#pnf norm#!!!! him the guy#normal about norm#I was also dictating that long list of tags#But I had to separate them because it went over the character limit that I didn’t know existed#I knew there was a Attack limit. The tag limit is 50.#But the tag character limit is 140#Damn that’s crazy#Holy shit dictation adds commas#I’m sorry for clocking to text so go back to sleep
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having a normal one over here
#i think the meds overcorrected#i cannot sleep and i am bubbling with Emotions#can i tell what most of them are? No#but there’s a lot of them#and they’re not actually super shitty??#they’d be nice if they could just dial it down a notch#also this isn’t vague posting to be clear i’m not having Emotions because anything happened#this is run-of-the-mill confusion posting#kinda nervous for the comedown after these like. several consecutive pretty great days in a row???#other than the late night panic attacks i was giving myself by reading the news#my doctor literally made me go into my settings and turn off notifs for my news apps#while telling me ‘at least you’re self aware’#(bc i knew it was the news fucking me up i just wasn’t Allowed to turn off notifs)#anyway i’ve gone on a tangent#tumblr is back to being my journal#which means i’m gonna get like. at least 3x more annoying with my posting.#anyway i’m also thinking about Women but like. what’s new right?#also it’s Pride Month if there was ever a time to be gay over women it is NOW#someone’s gonna have to talk me out of dating apps again soon#(i hate dating apps and i don’t even want to date)#(but like maybe there are other cool queer people who wanna have queer movie nights and be casually gay together)#(you never know unless you try!)#anyway i’m not gonna be embarrassed for those tags bc if you’ve read this far that’s on you#personal
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The way they should at the very made s2 of lok abt korra and the crew going on a journey to relearn the elements and maybe she meets the lion turtle and diss a way to give ppl back their bending back because it was just block by chi bending and at the end it would lead to her giving lin and everyone their bending back if they wanted it back then it would lead into the next season which the conclusion would be the air bending boom or he giving back power could bring the boom on.
#tagging ainti because i know how soe of yall get#anti lok#and instead of the love triangle it should've been a throuple#like obviously I think he would’ve favored tenzin how man story do we have to hear of parents and grandparents favoring a child#because they look like they aang would’ve totally favored tenzin because he was the one he could share his culture with more deeply#but what I’m attacking is that he didn’t even try to share the culture with the other kids he was the avatar water was the first element-#learned outside of air you think he wouldn’t have took bumi to sokka for formal training#where they lost me was he took tenzin and tenzin only on trip that not aang and that’s definitely not katara#she would never allow something like that
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being asexual and sex repulsed is actually really hard because everyone acts like you’re a freak and doesn’t take you seriously when you say you don’t want to talk about sex and half of y’all reading this can’t act like you would never do that because you can’t even tag your nsfw or put a warning before your explicit tags on how you wanna fuck that guy 👍🏼
#i make jokes sometimes so i’m really not trying to seem like a hypocrite but some of y’all get really detailed#and I Am Repulsed By Sex. so when you get Detailed About Sex i actually feel physically sick and usually have anxiety attacks#like that’s what we’re dealing with here! i’m not just being immature or a prude or whatever the fuck#i have anything labeled mature hidden too so if you’d prefer to use community labels knock yourself out#just. god i don’t know how else to explain this#and it’s not just a matter of unfollowing people. because people will reblog things from me with the grossest fucking tags.#and yes i can block or whatever but it still doesn’t stop and like i’m begging y’all???#also there’s some people i don’t wanna lose as mutuals when they could tag four letters. idk#sorry i’m just. upset tonight#i feel like a freak for being asexual basically because it’s everyone acts like this is such an insane request#and i feel so isolated because of it#op
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I don’t even watch naruto but I scroll thru ur naruto tag for sasunaru🫡
#JAJAJWIWJWJWJ#tbh I never made a legit tag for them before but they take up most of the tag anyway so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#now I won’t ask you to watch/read Naruto because it…. *looks away* BUT…. all you have to know that it’s just sasuke and Naruto against the#world 😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️#naruto told sasuke that they ought to just died together-#Naruto told sasuke that he’d bare the burdens of his hatred his pain and they’d die together im gonna be sick-#sasuke mentioned that losing Naruto would be like losing one of his limbs- i will kms 🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️🚶🏾♀️#I forgot the actual quote but it was something like that I’ve never recovered- this is all canon—— they’ve said the most unnormal things to#each other it’s insane to me-#don’t even get me started I’ve been trying to be normal for months now lmfao#tkf replies#karmelarts#sns month is in October so I’m gonna try my best to draw for it I’m excited to be thinking about them again 😭❤️#naruto had a whole panic attack and collapsed into unconsciousness at the mere thought of other people hurting/ wanting to kill sasuke like#the very thought caused him so much physical anguish that he could not bare it and his body rejected it almost immediately they’re the#iconic sun and moon… the left and right hand- the matching outfits on twin day- the- THE
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note to self: if you’re a trans woman and you become famous, tell people some bs about how you’re not actually trans despite transitioning. it’ll make everyone like you more.
#just hit em with some bullshit about ‘oh i’m not trans and i’m not cis’ and nobody will ever yell at you for not doing gender correctly#it’s a genius plan!#because y’all eat it right up apparently el oh el#trans#transgender#shouldn’t have tagged it but i’m tired grandpa!#and if you get mad at me about this imma just say i’m not trans and you’re trying to tell me what to do#like ‘ummmmmm it’s literally so transphobic and bioessentialist of you to attack my opinion as a gnc individual’#‘don’t you know i’m the be-all and end-all of all trans issues?’#so many people are not over the mere metaphysical idea of ‘can a man become a woman’ like they do NOT want to say yes#so as long as you don’t say you’re a woman people like you more#and they’ll claim it’s because of you having a really ‘interesting gender’ but it will be because they don’t think you should be allowed#like they just don’t like the idea of a man being a woman#and you know it too because of that ONE E-CELEB#who I WILL NOT NAME#but he’d never get away with his (very lucrative) bit if he said he was a woman#because then it’s not fun anymore to y’all#it’s okay to do fetishy stuff with the idea of femininity AS LONG AS YOU DONT DARE SAY YOU’RE A WOMAN#unless you’re a cis woman ofc because then nobody cares#so best just to be a trans woman in everything but name#you’ll make the tumblrinas love ya
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Absolutely losing it at the squad results. The silence and temporary confusion at the first two and then explosion of laughter.
#us: … aight.#the funniest to me is that my accomplishment was walking farthest why is that so real 🤣#coop is fun because Chase and Rachel get the hardest charcaters apparently but terrible bc I’m Erin and Charlie which is like trying to keep#two China dolls alive#chase like ‘shut UUUUP’ about heart choices#we were confused before remembering Attack is also an emotion#R’s group chat#god I need to come up w a better tag for the squad#even The Squar would be better#SQUAD fuck
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you know, after all these years, absolutely nothing calms me down nearly as well as the song “quiet” from the matilda musical
#singing it or listening to it#but singing along with it is the best it’s the transition from ‘everything everything is’ to ‘quiet…’ that does it for me#just spent twenty minutes crying because for the first time all semester i just don’t want to go to student teaching tomorrow#and i was like panic attack crying and was scared i wouldn’t be able to drive home for awhile so i played quiet on repeat and sang along and#it was so messy and i barely managed to get the first half of the song out but then it was magical the way my panic attack just. diminished.#and like yeah i was still crying but it wasn’t harsh scary can’t breathe crying it was gentle quiet crying#idk that song just. gets to me. it rally fricking gets to me.#i don’t wanna go tomorrow i feel like a fricking failure and like the worst student teacher ever and ik that’s not fair to say but this past#week was really hard with the kids and gaining their respect like i’ve been trying so hard to be nice and they just laugh at me and they’re#better than this - they didn’t do this before and all i can think is ‘am i going to do a disservice to dickinson too?’#i don’t want to let my teacher down#idk#i’m sorry#i just like. couldn’t breathe ten minutes ago and grace is asleep so. i came here#idk maybe i’ll delete this later#or at least the tags🤪
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Just when I think my anxiety has improved and I’m doing really well it kicks me in the ass and gives me multiple panic attacks multiple nights in a row 👍🏻👍🏻
#vent posting fuck yeah it’s been a while#mostly I’ve been having panic attacks triggered from nasty intrusive thoughts about travel#i have a giant fucking intense fear of getting lost and not being able to get home and I’m terrified of the dark#So y’know. mostly stuff about getting lost or getting on the wrong train or even plane and ending up in the wrong fucking country#And then getting STUCK there because I have no money left#so then that leaves me homeless and this out in the dark#and you can see how it spirals#i genuinely feel so stuck i don’t know how to get over this and the one time I got lost recently isn’t helping it actually made it worse#trying to travel across the country made me so anxious i had to vomit#i don’t know what to do about it#vent post#ask to tag
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On another note, though, very proud of myself.
Last month, for the first time in my life, I managed to get head lice from a friend, and all the scratching I did wound up causing me to develop multiple abscesses. 😔 Wound up having to go to the er for one and it was lanced and drained twice. (I will say, if you have to have them drained, opt to get numbed first. The shots hurt, but after that, all I felt was pressure when they were squeezing. [They did warn though that sometimes when they try to numb the area, you could wind up feeling pain due to the area sometimes not absorbing the medication well enough. Or something like that.]
In comparison, I had my partner drain one of my abscesses at home (which is not advised) and it was some of the worst pain I’ve experienced in my life and I nearly passed out after. 🥹)
Also wound up having MRSA in that wound. 😔 Fortunately the antibiotics worked, but they gave me pills, so I had to endure 10 days of crushing them up and struggling to take them. 🥹
And I also have had to do multiple check-ups. Still need to go for more and also schedule other appointments, but oh God, all of this is absolute hell for me. Hospitals make me so anxious and I have severe agoraphobia. This is the first time in like 7 years I’ve been to the doctor. So I’m proud of myself for going, but each time I go, I’m fighting off an anxiety attack and I have to endure a 20 minute ride each way (and we don’t have a car rn, so we have to Uber, which makes me more anxious) and then however long I have to wait in the waiting area.
I really need to set up more appointments, but I’m so full of dread. And I can’t predict how my body is going to feel any given day, so it makes it so hard to schedule things. I’m so stressed about it ahhh (I tried scheduling a cervical cancer screening that I’ve been holding off on and I wound up canceling both due to the anxiety and the lack of money to get down there. 🥹 I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to get myself to go down to my eye exam.)
But, yeah….. I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to do what needs to get done. Yay for me for taking care of some of it, but God, I wish I didn’t have to fight myself so hard to. 😔
#me#the er in particular was hell. had to spend hours trying to push down an anxiety attack and then when I’m released I have one at the#pharmacy 😔✌️ and I was by myself and had to have my dad take an Uber to ride back with me and I feel so pathetic for having to ask people to#be with me so I can go anywhere#also- to add to all of my stress- my partner wound up getting bit by a spider which led to him getting a blood infection and for a bit we#were absolutely terrified he was gonna die (particularly because he’s already terminal and he doesn’t need the added stress in his immune#system)#[emetophobia tw for next tag]#I got so stressed that for the first time in like 15 years I got sick 😭#luckily- the antibiotics look like they’ve done their job and he’s doing a lot better. still stressed out though with everything he’s going#through.#my health#anxiety#agoraphobia#surgery mention#aichmophobia mention#injuries#traumatophobia#insect mention#long post#drug mention
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Damn, this is so correct. I honestly keep drafting satirical scripts of my experiences so far that I one day want someone to perform, because honestly, I’m already a shell of a person that I was, and it’s not the actual ‘academics’ that have caused it! :)
#there are some content warnings in tags about dieting#I find I have to act a whole different person in order to succeed#I have to de-goth for conferences#I have my food habits scrutinised - I’m told how I should eat how I should eat what I should do#you have to be available 24/7 for pointless meetings#and lunches and afternoon teas#I’ve had people try to cure my acne#and tell me how to live my life#all in academia just for the sake of fitting in#it’s also unfortunately a competition of the financially elite - the pay is terrible and often so many opportunities are unpaid#like you have to teach without additional payment#peer review journals in your spare time without additional payment#I have had some acting training so I find my entire conference etiquette is just a performance#and I’ll just act like some enthusiastic lady when deep down all I wanna do is sleep#I had a panic attack at my last conference and they had to force me back in lol because I was so overstimulated - dark room#too much socialising and small talk and loud sounds and then bam my phobia emerges and honestly it’s been awful#I’m on a well-being week off this week but sometimes I wonder if I ever want to go back#I’m also scrutinised for not going to the gym like what is this?#it’s also an industry where champagne and wine are absolutely centric#like if u don’t wanna drink at a conference u just have to die of dehydration#and if u don’t like going out and getting drunk then you’re a social hermit
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we used to have more | oscar piastri
part 2 part 3 part 4
pairing: oscar piastri x reader
summary: while working as community manager in formula 1 you have to follow a rule of no fraternization with the drivers, which keeps you and oscar from being together
fc: different girls from pinterest
warnings: some characters have names (because there’s only so many y/f/n that i can use), some mentions of oscar’s girlfriend as her ex
a/n: so i have this one shot called guilty as sin? (that you should totally go read) and i’ve been thinking about expanding on it a little because i keep getting ideas around the same concept so welcome to an au version of my own fic in smau format, enjoy!
—
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yourusername another season, another year of trying to make f1 fun for the girlies🎀
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lissiemackintosh do you just casually serve face like this on a random thursday?
yourusername occupational hazards 😝
username my girl is back !!!
username she’s so classy i love her
username i need the girlies that find her clothes to find everything in this dump asap!
username my icon
username y/n please stay in f1 forever thank you❤️
username oh to be a woman in f1
username FINALLY
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f1gossip mclaren’s oscar piastri was seen this weekend next to y/n y/l/n (the community manager of f1 social media) on different occasions. the people who sent us the videos said that oscar was the one that looked for her and approached her every time
tagged oscarpiastri and yourusername
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username yeah no
username pls lord let this be fake news
username he. approached. her. every. time.
username idk they look kinda cute together
username hoping and praying this was just for content or something
username nooo y/n is one of the f1 female icons, dating a driver would be such a setback for her 😩
username pls if she wants to date a driver then it’s her business, doesn’t take away everything she’s done for women in motorsports
username i love y/n and oscar separately, together …. uhmmm
username omg my faves!!! i hope they date they’d be so cute together 🥰
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oscarpiastri back to my roots in baku 🏎
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username good luck this year 🧿🧿🧿
username manifesting a championship as we speak 🕯
username ugh look at him i just KNOW a future F1 champion when i see it
username omg the ex girlfriend liked 🫣
username are we about to see episode 37283 of them getting back together after breaking up? 😅
username he looks so cute in that go-kart🥺
username let’s go oscar 🍾🍾🍾
landonorris 👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽
oscarpiastri 😉
username nonchalant king!
lissiemackintosh’s instagram stories
[caption 1: milesbaldwin, declanmurray] [caption 2: yourusername my 💗]
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yourusername always hustling as you can see 🧘🏽♀️
tagged milesbaldwin
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username so beautiful 🤩
username the outfitttt >>>
username my fashion icon fr
milesbaldwin working hard or hardly working? 🧐
yourusername you’re one to talk
milesbaldwin i’m being attacked here pls defend my honor declanmurray miguelsossa
lissiemackintosh y/n is right miles you took two naps in one hour while we were making content
milesbaldwin !!! declanmurray miguelsossa
declanmurray girls be nice to miles
milesbaldwin 😁
declanmurray it’s past his bedtime
miguelsossa 🤣🫵🏽 milesbaldwin
username i love their friendship😩
username wtf oscar’s ex liked her post and unliked it 😭
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f1gossip mclaren’s oscar piastri was seen this weekend with his ex girlfriend at the paddock together, emerging rumors of possibly getting back together after six months of breaking up
tagged oscarpiastri and exgirlfriend
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username not again
username does this man doesn’t know there’s other women alive?
username guys leave him alone he’s competing for the trophy of who can get back with their ex the most times
username but … but … y/n ….
username i thought they were together too 😩
username i honestly prefer him with y/n than back with his ex for the millionth time
username guys they’re holding hands… it’s over
username my guy really lost the game of getting over your ex
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri one shot#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff#f1 x reader#f1#formula one#formula one x reader#oscar piastri x y/n#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri fanfic#op81#smau#oscar piastri smau#f1 smau#formula 1 smau#social media au#5 seconds of summer#we used to have more
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Dumb & Poetic
Summary: You like Logan, but he likes Jean. Right?
Word Count: 6k+
Pairing: Logan (X-Men) x fem!reader
Notes: honestly, this isn't one of my favorites, but i just needed to write it to get it out of my head.
also, this is after the sabrina carpenter song, but this story has no relation to the lyrics whatsoever, i just thought the title was fitting
reader's powers are manipulating atoms (it'll make sense when you read)
warnings/tags: some uses of y/n, pet name (princess, sweetheart), miscommunication, light violence, blood, implied age gap
Even after going on ten missions and counting, you always found yourself nervous. Especially when you were getting onto the Blackbird, clad in your matching suits. The hum of the jet’s engines filled the air, but your mind was on Logan. He sat across from you, legs spread out, arms crossed over his chest, that usual scowl on his face. It was the way he always looked before a mission, but you couldn’t help but glance over a little too often.
Ororo slid into the seat next to you, her sharp eyes catching your lingering stare. “You know,” she said softly, leaning over slightly, “if you keep looking at him like that, you might as well say something.”
You blinked, face heating up. “What? I wasn’t—”
“Oh, please, Y/N,” Ororo chuckled under her breath. “I’m not blind.”
You sighed and slouched back into your seat, fiddling with the straps. “It’s complicated.”
“It’s Logan,” Ororo shrugged. “Everything about him is complicated. But that doesn’t mean you should hold back.”
You cast another glance across the cabin at him. Logan was still quiet, staring out the window now, completely unaware of the butterflies flipping around in your stomach. You didn’t want to admit it, but Ororo was right. There was something about Logan that made you pause. Maybe it was the way he always seemed to be in his own world, like he was still holding onto things from his past. Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at Jean sometimes, like there was still something unresolved there.
“I don’t think he’s over her,” you murmured, feeling the familiar weight of doubt settle in.
“Jean?” Ororo raised an eyebrow. “Please, Jean and Scott are practically married. Logan isn’t hung up on her anymore. If anything, he’s just... Logan.”
You nodded, but the doubt still lingered. It was hard to let yourself hope for something that seemed impossible. Besides, Logan saw you as the kid, didn’t he? He always called you ‘princess’ or ‘sweetheart’- terms of endearment, sure, but you figured he used them with everyone.
Before you could dwell on it any longer, Hank’s voice came over the intercom, snapping everyone to attention. “We’re approaching the target. This should be a routine recon and hopefully data extraction but keep your guard up.”
Logan stood, moving to the front of the cabin. “You heard him. We get in, get the intel, and get out. No heroics.”
You stood with Ororo, adjusting your gloves and trying to ignore the fact that your heart rate had picked up. It wasn’t the mission that had you on edge, but Logan’s presence, the way he effortlessly took command of the room. You hated how easily he affected you.
The Blackbird landed with a soft jolt, and the team moved into action. Logan gave you a nod as you passed, and you swore you saw something in his eyes—concern? Or maybe you were just seeing what you wanted to see.
As the team fanned out, you stayed close to Jean and Scott, your senses heightened. You were supposed to keep it simple, in and out. But things rarely went that smoothly.
A flicker of movement caught your eye just as Jean’s telepathy brushed against your mind. Y/N, we’re not alone. Be ready.
And then all hell broke loose.
Explosions rocked the compound as enemies swarmed in from every direction. You threw up your hands, quickly manipulating the air around you, converting oxygen molecules to corrosive acids to fend off the attackers. Beside you, Scott fired his optic blasts, and Jean’s telekinesis sent debris flying.
You ducked behind a large pole of concrete, peeking out at the attackers behind you. “Alchemy, think you can get to the data room and get what we came for?” Hank asked over comms, as he and Logan fought a group of attackers.
You took a deep breath and peeked out at the attackers. "I’ll do my best, Hank," you responded, scanning for a clear path to the data room. The explosions and gunfire made it difficult to focus, but you knew you had to move.
“Cover her!” Logan’s voice barked out, and you felt a small surge of determination. He was counting on you. The team was counting on you. It was almost too much pressure to bear.
Ororo and Jean moved to provide cover as you darted toward the entrance of the data room. You manipulated the chemicals in the air around you, creating a thick fog to obscure the attackers' vision, but it wouldn’t last long.
You slipped into the room and immediately went to work on the computer, fingers flying over the keyboard. The download started, but it was slow, and you could hear the chaos outside intensifying.
“Hurry it up, Alchemy!” Scott’s voice came over the comms, tension clear in his tone.
“Almost there,” you muttered, eyes glued to the screen. The progress bar crept forward, painfully slow. You glanced over your shoulder, half expecting an attacker to burst through the door at any moment.
A loud crash echoed through the room as part of the hallway imploded, sending dust and debris flying. You ducked, covering your head with your arms as the force of the blast knocked you off balance. The data was still downloading—just a few more seconds. But the chaos outside was getting worse.
"Y/N!" Logan's voice crackled through the comms, barely audible over the noise. "Get out of there, now!"
"Almost done!" you yelled back, heart pounding. The progress bar was at 95%. You just needed a little more time.
Another explosion rocked the compound, and you heard Logan shout something to the others. You could hear gunfire and the clash of metal against metal as the team fought off the attackers. Every second felt like an eternity.
"Got it!" you exclaimed as the download completed. You yanked the USB drive from the computer and turned to make your escape. You entered the open area where the rest of the team was fighting, just as part of the ceiling fell. Instinctively, you raised your hands and quickly converted the falling cement into water, which drenched you from head to toe.
You grimaced, pushing your wet hair from your face, but there was no time to focus on the discomfort. The fight was still raging, and Logan’s voice crackled over the comms again, "Princess, get out of there. Now."
“On my way!” you shouted, breaking into a sprint to rejoin the team. You dodged debris, your heartbeat in your ears, adrenaline coursing through your veins.
As you rounded the corner, Scott called out through comms, “everyone get dow- ”
Before you could react or shield yourself, a blast came from all around you, an explosion of some kind. You watched as Logan tackled Jean to the ground, shielding her. It was instinctual, he was only protecting a teammate, and Jean was the closest one to him. At least, that’s what you told yourself to feel better.
You hit the ground hard, your body skidding across the concrete before colliding with a pile of debris. Pain exploded in your side as you groaned, gasping for breath. Dazed, you tried to push yourself up, but your vision swam.
Your hand came down to your side, fingers grazing the sticky warmth on your glove. It wasn’t the water from earlier—you knew that now. The sharp pain spreading through your body confirmed it. You blinked, vision blurring for a second, but your focus quickly snapped back as your instincts kicked in.
"Princess, come in! Y/N!" Logan’s voice crackled over the comms, but it sounded distant, like he was yelling from the other side of a tunnel.
“I’m fine,” you groaned, struggling to push yourself to your feet. Your side screamed in protest, but you forced yourself to ignore it. You couldn’t afford to be down for long. Not when everything around you was falling apart.
You looked up to see Logan pulling Jean to her feet, his eyes scanning the battlefield before locking onto you. For a split second, his eyes widened, and then his expression darkened.
“Stay where you are,” Logan barked, already moving toward you, cutting through the debris and chaos like a force of nature. His claws were out, gleaming even in the dim light, but it wasn’t the enemies he was focused on. It was you.
“I’m fine,” you repeated, though the words felt weaker this time. The pain was growing worse, and you stumbled as you tried to take a step forward.
Logan was in front of you in an instant, his hands on your shoulders, steadying you before you could fall. “You’re not fine,” he growled, his voice low and rough. He looked down at your side, and his lips pressed into a tight line. “You’re bleeding.”
“It’s just a scratch,” you lied, even as the pain in your side flared again, making it harder to breathe. You tried to step back, to shake off his hands, but Logan wouldn’t let you move.
“You are not fine,” Logan repeated, his eyes dark as they focused on the piece of metal lodged in your side. His hand hovered over it, the blood seeping from the wound making his jaw clench.
“Logan, seriously,” you breathed out, trying to keep your voice steady. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
You tried to brush him off, to act like the sharp, burning pain radiating from your side wasn’t there, but Logan’s hands didn’t move from your shoulders. His grip was firm, almost like he was grounding you.
“Stop lying to me, Princess,” he growled softly, his eyes flicking from your face to the metal in your side. “It’s not nothing. I can smell the blood.”
The way he said it made your face flush, and for a second, you didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t just annoyed; he was worried. It was written all over his face, in the tension of his body, in the way his claws were still out, ready to strike at anything that came near.
“Logan- ” you started, but he cut you off.
“Don’t move,” he ordered, his voice low but commanding. “I’m getting this out.”
He knelt down in front of you, his large hands gently holding your waist. The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine despite the situation. You bit your lip, trying to focus on something- anything- other than the way his hands felt on you.
“This is gonna hurt,” he warned, glancing up at you. His eyes softened just a bit, as if he was trying to reassure you.
“I’ll be fine,” you muttered, though the knot of anxiety tightened in your stomach. It wasn’t the pain you were worried about.
Logan gave you a quick nod, then, with a sharp tug, he pulled the metal shard from your side. You bit down on a groan, your vision blurring for a moment as the pain shot through you. The wound was deeper than you’d realized, and the blood quickly soaked through your suit.
“Damn it,” Logan muttered under his breath, pressing his hand against your side to try and stop the bleeding. “We need to get you back to the jet. You’re losing too much blood.”
“I can handle it,” you said through gritted teeth, trying to stand up straighter. “We still have enemies out there. I’m not leaving the fight.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed. “The hell you aren’t.”
You tried to argue, but the pain flared again, and your vision swam. You stumbled, and Logan caught you easily, pulling you against him.
“Stubborn,” he muttered, his voice close to your ear now. “You’re as bad as me.”
“I learned from the best,” you said, trying to force a smile through the pain. But it was hard to keep the act up when your body was screaming at you to lie down, to rest.
Logan’s grip tightened on you, and for a moment, you allowed yourself to lean into him. His body was solid and warm, and despite the chaos around you, there was something comforting about his presence.
“We’re getting you back to the jet, sweetheart,” Logan said, his voice soft but firm. “You’re not staying out here like this.”
“But- ” you started to protest, but Logan cut you off again.
“No ‘buts,’ princess. You’re hurt. Let the rest of us handle it.”
Before you could argue again, he gently but firmly hoisted you up into his arms. The movement made your side burn, but you were too stunned by the fact that Logan was carrying you to care.
“Logan, put me down,” you said, your face heating up in embarrassment. “I can walk.”
“Not happening,” he grunted, his arms strong and steady around you. “You can yell at me later if you want. Right now, we’re getting you patched up.”
You looked up at him, your heart pounding for an entirely different reason now. His face was set in that familiar scowl, but there was something else in his eyes. Concern? Maybe even fear?
“Logan, I’m fine,” you tried again, but your voice was weaker this time. The truth was, you were exhausted. The adrenaline was fading, and the pain was becoming harder to ignore.
Logan didn’t respond, his jaw tight as he carried you through the debris and chaos. You caught sight of Ororo and Scott still fighting off the last of the enemies, and Jean was using her telekinesis to hold back another explosion.
“Y/N, are you alright?” Jean’s voice cut through the noise, her eyes widening as she saw you in Logan’s arms.
“She’s hurt,” Logan said, not stopping as he headed for the jet. “I’m getting her out of here.”
Jean looked like she wanted to protest, but she gave a quick nod, her focus shifting back to the battle. “Go. We’ll finish up here.”
As Logan carried you back to the Blackbird, you couldn’t help but glance up at him again. His face was still set in that determined, protective expression, and your heart did another flip.
This wasn’t just about the mission anymore. There was something else between you two, something you had been too scared to admit to yourself. But now, with Logan holding you close, the weight of his concern for you pressing down on your heart, it was impossible to ignore.
So, for now, you let yourself enjoy the warmth of him around you, lingering in it for as long as you could. Because you knew this is the closest you were ever going to get to him holding you like he cared.
---
You blinked, hearing muffled arguing coming from outside the medbay, Jean coming over to your side. “Hey, there. You’ve been out for a day.”
“A day?” You asked, your voice hoarse.
“You sustained significant blood loss, but luckily the metal didn’t hit any organs, or it would be a much different story,” Jean said gently, her eyes watching you with concern.
You blinked a few times, your head still foggy from the whole ordeal. “A day? I’ve been out for a day?”
Jean nodded, giving you a reassuring smile. “You’re tougher than you think, Y/N. You just need to rest.”
You sighed, glancing around the medbay. The arguing from outside caught your attention again. Jean seemed to notice it too, her expression turning slightly more serious.
“Logan’s been a little... on edge since you were brought back,” she said carefully.
Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Logan. You tried not to let it show, but you’d always been bad at hiding your feelings. Jean gave you a small, knowing smile.
“Don’t worry about him. He just- well, you know Logan.”
You chuckled softly, though it hurt to do so. “Yeah, I know Logan.”
Jean gave you a sympathetic look, her hand resting lightly on your arm. “He’s been worried. More than usual.”
You raised an eyebrow. “More than usual?”
Jean nodded. “You know how he gets. All gruff and ‘I don’t care,’ but it’s just a front. He was pacing outside the medbay the entire time we were patching you up.”
The idea of Logan pacing, stressed about you, felt both strange and oddly comforting. It was hard to imagine him being that concerned over anyone—let alone you.
The door to the medbay creaked open, and Logan’s familiar, rugged form stepped inside. His eyes immediately locked on you, his expression unreadable, but there was something in the set of his jaw that told you he was angry. And worried.
Jean gave you a quick smile and a soft pat on your arm before standing. “I’ll give you two some space.”
As Jean left, the room fell into an awkward silence. Logan stood by the door for a moment, arms crossed, not moving. His eyes scanned you, probably taking in the bandages, the way you were still propped up on the medbay bed, looking a little worse for wear.
“Hey,” you said quietly, feeling a bit self-conscious under his gaze. “I’m fine.”
“Like hell you are,” Logan muttered, walking over to your bed with heavy steps. He didn’t sit, just loomed at the foot of the bed, arms still crossed, his expression a mix of frustration and something else you couldn’t quite place.
You blinked up at him, trying to push past the discomfort. “I’m fine, really. Jean said I’m tougher than I think.”
“Yeah, and you’re also reckless,” Logan shot back, his voice rough. “You almost got yourself killed out there, Princess.”
Your stomach twisted at his words, and you looked away, fiddling with the blanket. You liked it when he called you that, but at the same time it almost felt like he still saw you as a kid. “I didn’t mean to. I was just doing my job.”
Logan let out a sharp breath, and for a second, you thought he was going to start yelling at you. Instead, he sighed and finally sat down on the chair next to your bed. He rubbed a hand over his face, looking tired.
“I know you were doing your job,” Logan said, his voice quieter now. “But you gotta be more careful. I thought—” He cut himself off, his jaw clenching as he stared at the floor. “I thought I lost you.”
Your heart skipped a beat at the way he said it, like the very idea of you being gone was unbearable to him. You swallowed, unsure of what to say. You’d never seen Logan like this—so raw, so vulnerable.
“I’m sorry,” you whispered, feeling a pang of guilt. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
Logan glanced up at you, his eyes softening just a bit. “You scared the hell outta me, sweetheart.”
The nickname sent a familiar warmth through your chest, but this time it wasn’t just the usual flustered feeling. There was something more behind it, something deeper that you’d never allowed yourself to believe was possible.
“I didn’t mean to,” you repeated, feeling small under his gaze. “I just... I wanted to do my part.”
Logan’s expression softened even more, and he leaned back in his chair, letting out a long breath. “I get that. You’re tough, Princess. But you’re also important. To the team... and to me.”
You blinked, your heart pounding. Did he just say that? Did Logan—Logan, of all people—just admit you were important to him? Your mind was racing, trying to process what he meant, but before you could say anything, Logan stood up abruptly, like he regretted letting those words slip.
“You need rest,” he said, his voice gruff again as he turned toward the door. “I’ll make sure no one bothers you.”
Logan left the medbay, leaving you alone with the beeping machines.
---
A few days later you were released from the medbay and told to take it easy by Jean. Which you took to heart, perhaps a little too much.
You stayed in your room, only leaving at abnormal times to get food and water since you didn’t want to run into Logan. After all, you were young, practically a child to him, and all you wanted was for your crush on him to fade away like so many others did before.
That’s what you kept telling yourself. It didn’t make the ache in your chest any easier to handle. Your crush on Logan had always been this quiet thing, something you never intended to act on. But now, after everything, it felt like it had grown louder, more noticeable. And that scared you.
You sighed, sitting on the edge of your bed, idly fiddling with the hem of your shirt. Maybe you just needed to... talk to him. Be normal again. You’d been friends before, hadn’t you? It wasn’t like he knew how you felt, anyway.
Just as you were considering going for a walk to clear your head, there was a knock at your door. You froze.
“Y/N?” Ororo’s voice came from the other side, soft but steady. “You in there?”
You quickly got up, taking a deep breath before opening the door. Ororo stood there, arms crossed, giving you that look—like she knew exactly what was going on with you. It was unnerving, how she always seemed to be one step ahead of everyone emotionally.
“Hey,” you greeted, trying to sound casual. “What’s up?”
Ororo raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed by your attempt at nonchalance. “You’ve been hiding.”
You blinked. “I haven’t been hiding.”
Ororo gave you a look. “Please. I haven’t seen you at meal times, and Logan’s been extra grumpy. It’s not hard to put two and two together.”
You felt your face heat up. “Logan’s grumpy all the time.”
“He’s more grumpy than usual,” Ororo said, stepping into your room and closing the door behind her. “He’s been asking around. Wants to know why you’re avoiding him.”
Your heart skipped a beat. “He said that?”
Ororo nodded, leaning against your desk. “He won’t admit it’s bothering him, but it is. What’s going on?”
You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you sat back down on the bed. “I just... I don’t know, okay? Things got weird after the mission, and I needed space.”
“Logan didn’t do anything wrong,” Ororo pointed out gently.
“I know,” you mumbled. “It’s not him. It’s me.”
Ororo tilted her head, studying you for a moment before sitting beside you on the bed. “You’re worried about how he sees you, aren’t you?”
You swallowed, nodding slowly. “I mean, kinda of. He doesn’t see me in the way I see him, y’know?”
Ororo gave you a knowing look, her lips quirking up slightly. "And how do you see him?"
You hesitated, feeling your face heat up again. "I... I don’t know. It's just... he’s Logan. He’s been through so much, seen so much, and I’m just… me. The kid who got lucky with mutant powers and likes chemistry too much."
Ororo smiled gently, shaking her head. "You’re selling yourself short, Y/N. You're a lot more than that. And Logan sees it."
You opened your mouth to protest, but Ororo held up a hand. "I’m not saying he knows exactly what he's feeling, but he's not as oblivious as you think. And trust me, the way he’s been acting lately, it’s clear you’re important to him."
You sighed, flopping back on the bed. "Maybe, but it’s not like that. It can’t be. He’s Logan—he doesn’t do the whole feelings thing."
Ororo chuckled softly. "You’d be surprised. He’s more in tune with his feelings than he lets on. He’s just… not used to showing them."
You frowned up at the ceiling. "Then why does it feel like I’m the only one getting all messed up over this?"
Ororo stood up, crossing her arms as she looked down at you. "Because you’re thinking too much, Alchemy. Maybe you should try talking to him instead of hiding."
"I’m not hiding!" you protested weakly.
"Uh-huh," Ororo said, raising an eyebrow. "Well, hiding or not, he’s not going to let this go. Logan’s stubborn like that."
You groaned, pulling a pillow over your face. "Great. That’s exactly what I need."
Ororo chuckled again. "Just… talk to him. It might help. You can’t avoid him forever."
You sighed, peeking out from under the pillow. "Yeah, yeah. I’ll think about it."
Ororo smiled softly before heading toward the door. "Good. And Y/N?"
You looked up at her, raising an eyebrow.
"Give yourself a little more credit," Ororo said gently. "You’re not just some kid to him. He cares about you. Maybe more than either of you realizes."
Before you could respond, she slipped out of the room, leaving you alone with your thoughts—and the knot of nervousness growing in your stomach.
---
The next day, you were wandering through the mansion’s empty halls after lunch. You weren’t hiding per se, but you were definitely avoiding a certain someone. Ororo’s words kept echoing in your mind, and you couldn’t shake the feeling that she was right. Talking to Logan was probably the only way to clear this weird tension between you, but the thought of actually doing it made you want to curl up and disappear.
As you turned a corner, lost in thought, you almost walked straight into him.
"Whoa, easy there, Princess," Logan’s gruff voice startled you as he steadied you with a hand on your arm. "Where you off to in such a hurry?"
You froze, looking up at him with wide eyes. "I-I wasn’t—uh, just wandering."
Logan raised an eyebrow, his expression skeptical but amused. "You’ve been ‘just wandering’ a lot lately."
You bit your lip, unsure of how to respond. This was it. The moment you’d been dreading. He was right here, and there was no avoiding him now.
Logan sighed, his hand still resting lightly on your arm. "You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart."
There it was. The thing you’d been trying to dodge. Your heart raced, and you shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze. "I haven’t been avoiding you."
Logan huffed, his expression softening a little. "I ain’t stupid, Y/N. You haven’t been around much since the mission. What’s goin’ on?"
You swallowed hard, feeling your palms start to sweat. "It’s nothing. I just... needed some space. That’s all."
Logan narrowed his eyes slightly, studying you. "Space from me?"
You looked down at your shoes, suddenly finding them very interesting. "Not exactly. I just... things got a little weird, okay?"
"Weird how?" Logan’s voice was still rough, but there was a hint of something gentler beneath it. Concern, maybe?
You hesitated, the words catching in your throat. How were you supposed to explain that the reason you’d been avoiding him was because your stupid crush had spiraled into something much more confusing and intense? You couldn’t just blurt that out. Could you?
Logan’s grip on your arm tightened slightly, and he took a step closer, his voice low. "Talk to me, sweetheart. What’s goin’ on?"
You felt a lump form in your throat as you glanced up at him. He was so close now, and the familiar warmth in his eyes was making it hard to think straight.
"I just... I didn’t want to make things awkward between us," you mumbled, your voice barely above a whisper.
Logan frowned, his brow furrowing. "Why would things be awkward?"
You swallowed, forcing yourself to meet his gaze. "Because I... I care about you, Logan. A lot. And I know you don’t feel the same way because you still like Jean- ”
Logan's frown deepened, and he shook his head almost immediately. "Jean? What’re you talkin’ about?"
Your heart pounded in your chest, and you bit your lip, feeling suddenly embarrassed. "I mean, I just assumed... everyone knows you used to have feelings for her, and it’s fine, really. I get it. I just didn’t want to make things weird by—"
"Y/N," Logan cut you off, his voice firm but not unkind. He stepped closer, his gaze locking with yours. "I ain’t thinkin’ about Jean like that anymore."
You blinked, caught off guard. "You’re not?"
Logan shook his head again, a hint of frustration slipping through. "No, sweetheart. That’s done with. It’s been done with for a while."
Your mind raced, trying to process what he was saying. If he wasn’t still hung up on Jean, then... What did that mean? Why had he been acting so tense around you?
"Then why have you been so... distant?" you asked softly, your voice wavering. "You’ve been acting weird too, Logan. It’s not just me."
Logan looked down for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck—a rare sign of discomfort from him. When he spoke again, his voice was a little gruffer. "I’ve been... tryin’ to figure some stuff out, alright?"
"Figure what out?" you pressed gently, taking a step closer to him now. You could feel your heart thudding in your chest, but you didn’t back down. "Logan, just talk to me."
He sighed, his eyes meeting yours again, and for a second, you saw something vulnerable flash through his expression—something raw. He was quiet for a beat before he finally spoke.
"After that mission," he said slowly, his voice low, "when I saw you get hurt... somethin’ in me snapped. I couldn’t... I couldn’t handle it, Y/N. The thought of losin’ you like that—" He broke off, his jaw tightening, and you could see the tension in his shoulders. "I’ve been through a lotta shit in my life. Seen people come and go. But you? The idea of you bein’ gone—it messed me up more than I thought it would."
You stood there, staring at him, trying to absorb what he was saying. He wasn’t just talking about the mission anymore. This was more than that.
"Logan..." you whispered, feeling a knot form in your throat. "I didn’t know you—"
"I didn’t know it either," he interrupted, his voice rough but sincere. "I didn’t know I felt like this ‘til it hit me. I care about you, Princess. More than I care to admit, sometimes. And I ain’t exactly good at this... feelings thing, y’know that."
Your breath caught in your throat. You didn’t know what to say, and for a moment, you were convinced you’d misheard him. Logan cared about you? Like that? It felt surreal.
"You... you care about me?" you asked cautiously, your voice small.
Logan huffed, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, but there was a softness in his eyes that you hadn’t seen before. "Hell yeah, I do. I’ve been tryin’ to push it down for a while now, but it ain’t workin’. Not anymore."
You stared at him in disbelief, your pulse racing. "But... I’m just—"
"Don’t even start with that ‘I’m just me’ bullshit," Logan cut you off again, his tone more serious. "You ain’t ‘just’ anything, Y/N. You’re smart, tough as nails, and you’ve got a good heart. You matter to me. And not in some ‘kid sister’ kinda way either, if that’s what you’re thinkin’."
Your cheeks flushed, and your heart skipped a beat. He was being so direct, so honest, and it left you completely speechless.
Logan shifted a little closer, his gaze softening even more as he looked down at you. "I don’t know when it happened, but it did. You got under my skin, sweetheart. And as much as I tried to ignore it... I can’t."
You swallowed hard, your mind spinning. This was really happening. Logan—gruff, stoic Logan—was telling you that he had feelings for you. And for the first time, you didn’t feel like a kid around him. You felt like someone who mattered, someone he saw.
"I..." you started, your voice shaking a little. "I didn’t think you’d ever... I mean, I’ve had feelings for you for a while now, but I just figured—"
Logan chuckled softly, his hand reaching out to brush your cheek gently. The touch was gentle, and it sent a shiver down your spine. "You figured wrong, Princess."
You blinked up at him, your heart pounding in your chest. The way he was looking at you—it wasn’t just teasing or friendly banter. It was something deeper, something real. You couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
“I-I don’t know what to say,” you stammered, your voice barely a whisper. “I thought I was just… I don’t know, bothering you or something.”
Logan’s hand lingered near your face, his thumb brushing your cheek softly. His eyes locked onto yours, and you could see the sincerity in them, the raw emotion he wasn’t hiding anymore. “You ain’t a bother, sweetheart. Far from it. And if I’ve been actin’ like I don’t care, that’s on me. But I do care. A lot.”
Your breath caught in your throat. His touch, his words—it was all too much, too overwhelming. You’d been crushing on Logan for what felt like forever, and now he was standing here, telling you he felt the same way. It didn’t feel real.
“Logan, I…” You started, but your words trailed off as his hand slid down to your neck, his rough palm warm against your skin. The way he was looking at you, the intensity in his gaze, made it impossible to think straight.
“Stop thinkin’ so hard,” Logan murmured, his voice low and rough. “Just… be here. With me.”
Your heart pounded as you met his eyes, your stomach doing flips. You didn’t even realize you’d been holding your breath until you let it out in a shaky exhale. “Okay.”
For a moment, everything felt like it slowed down—the air between you humming with tension. Logan leaned in closer, his face inches from yours, and you could feel his breath warm against your lips. It felt like time had stopped, like nothing else in the world mattered but this moment.
Then, before you could second-guess yourself, you closed the small distance between you and pressed your lips to his.
Logan responded instantly, his hand moving to cup the back of your head as he kissed you with a kind of intensity that made your knees weak. It wasn’t slow or hesitant—it was rough, urgent, like he’d been holding back for too long and couldn’t anymore.
You kissed him back, your hands finding their way to his chest, gripping his shirt as you melted into him. His lips were warm and slightly chapped, and the way he kissed you sent a shock of electricity through your entire body. It was everything you’d imagined and more.
Logan’s free arm wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him until there was no space left between your bodies. You could feel the strength in him, the raw power that he usually kept under tight control, but there was also a tenderness in the way he touched you, like he was afraid of hurting you.
The kiss deepened, and for a moment, you lost yourself in him—in the way he tasted, the way he smelled like leather and pine, the way his hands moved over your body like he couldn’t get enough of you.
When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless, your foreheads resting against each other. Logan’s hands were still on you, one tangled in your hair, the other gripping your waist like he didn’t want to let go.
“Damn,” he muttered, his voice low and rough. “You really are somethin’, Princess.”
You laughed softly, feeling a little dizzy from the kiss, from everything. “You’re not so bad yourself, Wolverine.”
Logan smirked, brushing his thumb over your cheek again. “Could’ve told me sooner, y’know. Saved me a lotta trouble.”
You rolled your eyes, still grinning. “Yeah, well, you could’ve said something too. You had me thinking I was crazy this whole time.”
He huffed a laugh, his eyes softening as he looked at you. “Guess we’re both idiots then.”
You bit your lip, still trying to process everything. You’d kissed Logan. Actually kissed him. And he’d kissed you back. It felt like a dream, like any second now you were going to wake up and realize none of this had happened.
But it had. He was still here, his arms around you, his eyes on you, his lips still tingling from the kiss. And for the first time in a long time, you didn’t feel nervous or uncertain around him. You felt… right.
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett x you#logan howlett#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic
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