#I forgot the actual quote but it was something like that I’ve never recovered- this is all canon—— they’ve said the most unnormal things to

[tariah23]

I don’t even watch naruto but I scroll thru ur naruto tag for sasunaru🫡

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

My dear little man (cat) is back home and healing after a stroke so now that my heart is back inside of my body I am here to list off just some of my (many) favorite things you have written. I’m keeping it to 5 because that seems reasonable.

I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a rough go of writing at the moment. Hopefully some effusive praise will, at the very least, distract from that. Here we go, in no particular order:

1. The Audition from WATJP

This whole fic is so excellent. Truly delicious writing. (Could I do five favorites just from WATJP? yes, yes I could) I love the relationships between James/Sirius/Remus/Peter - you’re always so good at setting up a clear and interesting dynamic between everyone with just your dialogue. I’m especially delighted by this after James has raised his hand - the interaction between James, Remus, and Sirius there is so funny and lived-in and real.

Of course, your banter between Lily and James is top notch, but I love how you can show so much of their relationship dynamic and their chemistry when they’re speaking someone else’s words.

2 - 3. James’ tells and general misinterpretations in (The Mostly Unwilling Participants on) The Bachelor

It’s so fun in this fic to watch James figure out that he’s into Lily - it’s not a dynamic we get to see often and you roll it out so beautifully - where there are tells long before James knows how to articulate it. One of my favorite examples is in Chapter 5, when you do this, first with James’ enthusiasm growing every time Lily plays along, and then with:

“"You’re not even his type!"

James’s sharp "Ha!" likely made it across the room, through the open (and stupidly) French doors onto the patio, and halfway across the garden.”

and finally with him getting so caught up that he hugs Lily.

You capture so much about the behavior of two people utterly smitten with one another and it makes my heart all fluttery!

Something else I love about your fics where you write from either James or Lily’s perspective is how you write their misinterpretations of each other’s behavior or words - it’s such a fun unreliability that, obviously creates some of the best dramatic irony. In this same chapter (because you are, despite how you may be feeling, rather prolific) is one of my favorite examples of this, with Lily’s pov:

“Clearly, the best she was going to get from James was confirmation that she'd been foisted upon him by Rita Skeeter, and a blokey comparison to a bloody dinosaur.

A velociraptor, of all things.

Dinosaurs were wicked cool, it was true, and she understood the compliment it implied, but he might as well have punched her in the shoulder and referred to her as dude for all the good it had done her. The resulting effect would have been exactly the same.”

*chef’s kiss*

4. James’ humor in Salmon Fishing in the Olympics

Ahhh, another that I love so much. James’ humor is especially delightful here. I feel like other people have brought up specific excellent quotes from this fic, but again:

She comes to a standstill in front of him. "As if you're allowed to eat at McDonald's."

"I'm not, but I sometimes press myself up against their windows."

"What a treat for the diners."

"Puts them right off their nuggets."

..

"What kind of car do you drive?"

"I—er—" Vernon is taken aback by the change in subject, but can never resist an opportunity to discuss his car. Lily has taught James well. "An Audi A4. What car do you drive?"

"None," says James. "I sprint everywhere."

Vernon blinks stupidly. "Everywhere?"

"Yeah, but I can only do it in 200 metre bursts. It took months to get to Rio."

..

"They always let me skip the queue at Starbucks because I'm a national hero."

"I hate you."

are all a sheer delight.

5. All the pining in Shelf Awareness

I’ve read this approximately 128 times because obviously your writing + bookshop setting is perfection for me. And my goodness, the chemistry of it all!

He's so fit that she can't look him directly in the eye without a tell-tale, inconvenient, irrepressible smile that screams, 'I want to wear you like pyjamas,' which makes her feel guilty for looking in the first place—she has a boyfriend, after all, and she's never been the kind of girl to flirt about when she's with someone—so she shrugs and buries her nose in her phone while he scans in the rest of the books.

Or: “smiling at her in a way that makes her feel like her secrets aren't her own” - I mean, come on! The economy of that. A whole culinary school’s worth of chef’s kisses.

All of this is to say that you are a terrific writer and I’m always happy to revisit your writing because it’s so full of humor and pining and banter. Every one of your characters are full, amusing and entertaining and so specific.

Also apologies for the wonky formatting - I am frustrated with my thumbs at the moment.

I don't really have words. I'm just sobbing reading this. I can't believe you took the time to write it all and send it to me, especially when you've just been through the ringer yourself. You have no idea how much this this means to me, no idea. I'm in tears. I'm so glad that your cat is recovering. Actual tears. Thank you so much.

Also I forgot to tag @fetchalgernon because she's responsible for James in Bachelor fic and she 100% deserves credit for that <3

[nobodyfamousposts]

The Wisdom Teeth Reveal

Alya visits Marinette after she gets her wisdom teeth removed.

Warnings for angst. Angst. ANGST. ANGST.

...No one said the reveal was going to be a good one.

____________________________

It was supposed to be funny.

When Alya had learned Marinette would be getting her wisdom teeth removed, it had sounded like the perfect opportunity for some fun. People under the effects of the medication were usually suggestible and easily fooled. It would make for a hilarious prank. She could record it and share it with Marinette later once she was recovered. They would have a long laugh over it.

People did it all the time. So it was supposed to be okay, right?

Besides, Marinette was a good sport. She never complained about the things Alya posted about her to Instagram, after all. Regardless of what any of those lame self-righteous naysayers claimed. Besides, she gave Marinette permission to do the same to her, so that was fair. Those people didn’t know what they were talking about. 

And this would just be another bit of harmless fun to add to the mix.

Oooo! And what if she got video of Marinette confessing her feelings for Adrien! People on the medication were often noted to lack a filter. Maybe she could use this to help her bestie. She could get Marinette to admit her feelings and then show the video to Adrien! It would be perfect!

Alya chuckled to herself as she made her way to Marinette’s room, giving a brief reassurance to Sabine as she told Alya that Marinette was resting and not to bother her too much. Not like recording for prosperity was really anything too strenuous.

Sure enough, when she made it into the room, Marinette was on her bed sleeping. And completely out of it. It wasn’t any trouble getting her to wake up and acknowledge Alya’s presence. No more than it was to have her camera out and at the ready.

“Alya...m’tired.”

“C’mon, Marinette! You need to wake up!”

“I want to sleep.”

“You need to answer a few questions first.”

“But ‘m supposed to rest?”

“Your mom said it was okay.” Well, technically anyway. “Really?”

“Yes. So you have to.”

“Oh. Okay...” Marinette frowned, unhappily but forced herself into a sitting position.

Alya grinned, gleefully.

“So Marinette, what do you think of everyone in our class?”

Marinette smiled. Or at least as much as she could with the gauze. “They’re great. I l’ve ‘em lots.”

“Aww.” Alya cooed. “We love you too, Marinette.”

Marinette looked at Alya in surprise, her eyes welling up with tears. “Really?” She asked. Like this was actually a surprise.

“Of course!”

And...oh. Yeah, she was crying now. And wiping away the tears that kept coming. “I wasn’t sure.” She sobbed. “Cause...cause we’ve all known each other for years but we’ve never been close. I mean, Chloe bullied me all the time and no one ever said anything. They just sorta...let her.” She hiccuped. “This is the first year any of us actually hung out or anything. And everyone has been so nice and I was scared.”

She wiped her nose. “S’why I do so much. And take on all the requests. And became Class Rep. Cause I want them all to like me and ‘m scared they don’t. Or they’ll stop. An...an maybe if I keep doing things for them, they’ll like me.” She looked up at Alya, eyes red and wet. “They love me?”

Alya swallowed. “Y...yeah.”

And Marinette started crying again.

...okay, this was a bit more uncomfortable than she’d been planning on. Time to switch gears.

She had originally planned on a joke about Adrien agreeing to date her, but given how much she was crying and already worked up, Alya reconsidered. She didn’t want to dehydrate the girl, after all.

But she could still help her.

“Hey, Marinette. You love us all, right?”

“Yeah.” Marinette agreed, nodding enthusiastically for a moment before the dizziness set in and she held her head.

Alya grinned. “That’s great! So what do you think of Adrien? You love him, right?”

“Yeah...”

She had to hold back a cackle. “How much do you love him?”

Marinette hummed to herself at that. Her eyes were squinting and her face was scrunched up in thought.

Alya leaned forward eagerly, phone in perfect position to record every word.

“I wish I never met him.”

Alya’s eyes widened in shock.

“What?”

Marinette sniffled but didn’t answer.

“No. Come on, Mari. I need to know. You love Adrien, don’t you?”

“I do. And I hate it.”

She had stopped crying. Just...stared ahead blankly.

“I’ve...done a lot for him, y’know? I let him think my gift was from his father. I helped him with Kagami. Twice. And I don’t expect that I’m owed anything, because that’s not fair to him. But it’s just...I’ve already done so much but it’s like nothing I do is good enough. I can’t tell him how I feel without something going wrong. And he just...he never sees me. It’s like...maybe it’s the universe’s way of telling me we aren’t meant to be.”

She laughed, sadly.

“But what really hurts...is how little I matter to him.”

“What? Marinette, no! Of course you matter to him!” Alya insisted, trying to reassure her.

Marinette shook her head.

“Not as much as Chloe. Not as much as Lila. It’s like...he knows. He knows what they do. An how they treat me. But...I’m still the one in the wrong for being upset about it.”

Alya frowned. “Marinette, what do you mean by that?”

“It’s like...it’s like how Chloe was leaving! She was gonna leave! I was finally free!” Marinette exclaimed, waving her arms excitedly. “Everyone was happy about it! Not just me! But...he got so upset. And...he just...was all ’poor Chloe’. And how can we be happy she was gone? I...wanted to say so much. But it felt wrong. And...did I really have to point out every horrible thing she’s done? How she hurt me an everyone else? It was obvious! But I couldn’t say it because it’d just make him feel bad for defending her. So the best reasoning I had was that she was ‘useless’ like...like that was the real problem and not that she was mean. Or that she made fun of me every day. Or stole my hat design. Or stole my diary. Or ruined my gift. Or blackmailed everyone. But it was like...he just maybe forgot? And he started a guilt trip to make me feel bad for my bully until I had to be the one to admit being wrong.” Marinette sobbed. “He never stood up for me like that. No matter what Chloe did to me.”

Alya bit her lip. Because no, she couldn’t argue that.

“What if we were dating? What would really happen, do you think? Chloe wouldn’t just let it go. Would he defend me? Or would he lecture me again and take her side? I have nightmares where we’re married and she just...keeps crashing our dates. And taking over our house. And taking Adrien away from me. And Adrien just lets her and I can’t say anything because then he’ll be upset with me.”

She leaned her head back, the picture of exhaustion.

“And I’m just so tired. I try, y’know? And no matter what I do, he never sees me. It’s like I’m being punished every time. Punished for trying. Punished for not trying. I’m like...stuck in...in....”

“Limbo?” Alya suggested, weakly.

Marinette nodded. “Yeah! I’m stuck in limbo and I just want out. Just...just let him tell me no so I can move on already. Because...cause this...this hurts.” More tears fell. “This hurts a lot.”

“So you don’t care who Adrien ends up with?” Alya asked.

“I care. I can’t not care. I just...it depends? It’s okay if it’s Kagami because I know she loves him. Cause I still want him to be happy and in a good nice happy relationship and Kagami cares about him and wouldn’t let Chloe take over. Kagami can stand up for herself better than I can. S’why I’m really jealous of her.”

Okay. This was...not what she had been hoping for. But if Marinette was okay with Kagami dating Adrien, then that meant she had no reason to be upset with Lila, right?

Marinette was clearly out of it. But her current state was only one where she lacked a filter. That meant...everything she was saying...

What was that quote? Drunk words are sober thoughts?

“So you’d be okay with Adrien dating someone else?” Alya asked.

“It’d be a relief.” Marinette muttered.

“Even if it was Lila?”

Marinette froze. The tension suddenly skyrocketed.

“Not Lila.” The words were biting despite her voice being muffled and the slurring of her words.

“Why?” Alya demanded angrily. How could she be okay with Kagami of all people but not Lila?

Marinette hummed to herself, seemingly absent-minded. Alya almost wanted to shake her.

And then...

“Lila threatened me.”

Alya froze, nearly losing her grip on the camera. “What?”

“She threatened me. In the restroom. That day she came back.”

Her thoughts were scrambling. Her mind racing to find an explanation.

“Maybe you misunderstood?” Alya suggested. Maybe Lila had been put off by Marinette’s attitude and was just warning her how she could push people away by acting like that? Marinette had been overly harsh on the girl after all.

But Marinette shook her head. “She said she tells people what they want to hear. Called everyone idiots for believing her.” Marinate curled in on herself, drawing her legs to her chest. “And then she said I could either let her or she’d turn everyone against me. Even Adrien. Though maybe I should’ve let her since he knows she’s lying and defends her anyway.”

She burrowed her head into her knees.

“S’why I was upset. Why th’ akuma came.”

Alya’s eyes widened. “Akuma? You were almost akumatized?”

Marinette nodded, still not looking up. “M’hmm. But T’kki talked to me an made me feel better so it went away. Then Lila got ak’matized.”

Who was Turkey supposed to be?

“Wait. Hold on.” Alya cut her off. “Why didn’t you tell me this happened?”

Marinette lifted her head from her knees, looking at Alya blearily. “Y’o didn’t believe me when I told you before though?”

“That was because you didn’t have proof!” Alya replied, defensively. “But you didn’t say she threatened you!”

“I didn’t have proof then either.” Marinette pointed out, strangely logical. She turned her head away to look at a spot on the wall. “But I had the story with Adrien and Ladybug. An’ how I returned Adrien’s missing book.”

“Wait—what?”

“Yeah. Cause Lila stole it. S’how I got it.” Marinette said, pointing a finger at nothing in particular as if emphasizing the point. “She threw it in the trash when Adrien came. And she showed off a necklace...said it was the Fox Miraculous an that she was Volpina. Then Ladybug came and yelled at her for lying. But...” She wilted. “You didn’t believe me. An you didn’t listen to me.”

She looked back to Alya, genuinely sad. “You never listen to me.”

Alya jerked up, taken aback at that. “Of course I do! We’re friends, remember?”

“You sided with Lila right away.” Marinette noted, glumly. “Trusted her over me. Didn’t even ask Adrien about my story just to be sure before deciding Lila was right. Or ask me about Jagged Stone to confirm her ‘kitten on the runway’ story. You knew I returned the book to let Adrien come back but didn’t take my word on where it came from? You knew I helped Adrien on his date with K’gami but still said I was only jealous over Lila because of him? Did you...even consider how that hurt?” She clenched her fists. “That I was blown off? That you didn’t trust me?”

“Well...” Alya hesitated, glancing to the side in uncertainty. “You have done some wild stuff out of jealousy before.”

Marinette blinked, staring at Alya in confusion. “I lied? I tried to hurt people? I lied about people to hurt them?”

“Well—no—I mean...” Because truthfully, Marinette hadn’t. Not intentionally or maliciously. And while there were a number of times she did hurt people’s feelings in her attempts to win Adrien’s heart, she always felt guilty for it and apologized once she realized it. She had often acted without consideration for the effects on other people, but she never acted with intent to cause harm.

She had always tried to make it up to people regardless of whether she was in the wrong. Even Chloe. So it didn’t make sense why she wouldn’t do the same for Lila.

“I know some things went too far.” Marinette admitted. “And I always apologized. But it’s like admitting I was wrong somehow meant I was always wrong. And I just kept apologizing even when it wasn’t my fault because I didn’t know what else to do.”

Marinette picked at a loose thread on her knee.

“My mind blanks and I panic a lot. And I’ve tried to do better but it feels like you don’t help with that and I have to always be the one to make up for it all.”

Wait, now she wasn’t making sense. “Marinette, what are you talking about?”

Marinette tilted her head to the side, taking a moment to think.

“During the modeling attempt with Juleka.” Marinette started, eyes unfocused as she recalled the incident. “I didn’t want Adrien there. You invited him anyway. S’wasn’t a good time. S’wasn’t a good place. But I couldn’t tell him no after he already agreed to you asking. When Juleka was upset, I tried to talk to her. And you...you pushed her out. To put me in. To force me with Adrien. I wasn’t okay with it either. It was distracting. I wanted to focus. I wanted to help Juleka. But you pushed about Adrien and put us on a time limit. We left her behind and she was aku...ak’ma...doll thingy.”

It was cute and silly and in any other situation, Alya would have laughed. But she couldn’t laugh about this.

“And when it was all over, I had to apologize. Even...even though it wasn’t my fault. Cause...cause I tried, at least? And at the end, I was the one left out cause of it. Like...like I had to make up for it all. An...an this seems to happen a lot. I think?”

“Marinette...”

“You push me a lot. I’m not ready. Not okay with it. Tell you no. But suddenly I’m there and he’s there and I feel like I have to do something because you’re watching and I know what’ll happen if I mess up. Then I panic and mess up anyway and you just...the way you look at me.” Tears started to fall again and she clenched her eyes shut. “It hurts. Like you’re disappointed and annoyed but not surprised cause you expected me to fail. But then like...why do you put me there? Why do you keep putting me there if you knew?”

She looked up at Alya.

“Is it...fun to you?”

Alya suddenly felt her mouth go dry. She couldn’t speak.

“Like...the instagram pic-tures. You got mad when people commented and said it was mean, but you never asked me how I felt anyway. I don’t complain cause I don’t want to make you feel bad but...like...you don’t know it’s embarrassing? Or you do and don’t care? I hafta watch anything I do when you’re around because I never know if you’re taking more pictures of me to post there and...you never ask.” She shrugged and looked away. “You say I can do the same, but y’know I won’t. I’d never. Cause I love you too much and...that’s what friends do, right? Look out for each other and not share things they don’t want shared? Keep secrets?”

Alya swallowed.

“But you told Nino.”

Alya flinched.

“You told him how I felt. Used him to put me in a position I will never not regret.” She gave a sob. “And I don’t know why anymore. Do you...do you like watching me fail?”

“I was...trying to help.” Alya explained.

“Then why does it hurt each time? Why do you talk down to me so much?” Marinette gripped her hair and pulled in clear agitation. “You get mad at me for talking about Adrien. You get mad at me for trying to confess to Adrien. You get mad at me for trying to give up on Adrien. I don’t know what to do to make you not mad.”

“Marinette, it’s not like that! You know that!” Alya insisted, feeling her heard pounding. In fear? In hurt? It was hard to tell.

The bluenette paused, slowly lowering her hands and relaxing her shoulders.

“Sometimes...”Marinette murmured. “Sometimes I wonder if this is how friendship is supposed to be. But...y’re the first friend I ever had. So I don’t know. And I’m too scared to ask because what if it is and you get mad and leave me? And that...everything else hurts. But the thought of you leaving me hurts more. I don’t know if it’d be worse to give up.”

Alya felt her own eyes tear up.

She couldn’t answer that. There was no answer for that.

There was a long silence.

“’M really tired.” Marinette suddenly complained. “And my mouth hurts. Is the surgery done yet?” She asked, looking up at Alya in confusion. Like the entire conversation never happened.

“Y-yeah.” Alya said, nodding her head. “They...everything just finished up. Your mom said you could sleep now.”

“Oh. Kay.” Marinette mumbled. Recognizing that she was in her own bed, she went to lay down, only struggling a little with the covers.

Alya began backing away, reaching for the door.

“G’night, Alya. Thank you for watching out for me.”

She froze, her hand on the door handle.

“Of...of course.” Alya replied.

“That’s...what friends do, after all.”

[relaxedreptile]

What Friends Are For

Pairing: Bang Chan X Female Reader

Sexual content: protected sex (oral sex, fingering, slight degradation meant as friendly-ish banter). Swearing. FWB.

A/N: Hi, loves! Over a year ago, I posted a scenario called “Not Like That” on this blog that was kinda-sorta a FWB!Chan scenario; I was asked to write another piece with that same concept so... here it finally is!

On another note, I’ve been feeling a tad insecure about my writing lately. I feel as though my writing isn’t as stylistic as it used to be and I’m worried that the quality is not as high as before either. If you wouldn't mind sending me your thoughts on this specific piece (negative or positive), I would love to hear from you!

Thank you.

-

“Was it really that bad?”

You and your best friend, Chan, were sitting cross-legged on the tiny twin bed tucked into a corner of his bedroom.

He had invited you over after receiving an SOS text attached to your name alerting him to the fact that you had had an absolutely dreadful night and needed to see him.

Chan was under the impression you had been mugged or crashed your car or something, he never would’ve guessed that the reason you were cradling your head in your hands on top of his bed was actually because you “just had the worst sex of your life”.

“He couldn’t even get it inside me Chan! Even my vagina knew it was a bad idea.”

It took everything in Chan not to burst out laughing, knowing you needed comfort and not teasing.

“He’s been hyping himself up for weeks, you know, texting me shit that was so good even you would blush. I thought, hey! There’s no way anyone who promises to ‘rock my shit so hard’ I ‘won’t be able to think about any other cock for the rest of my life’ was actually bad in bed, right? Well, I was sorely mistaken!”

If you were talking about any other subject Chan might’ve laughed about your use of air quotes but right now, he found his throat was a little too tight to force out a sound.

“I was expecting some crazy stuff and that’s why I went over in the first place. This week has been so stressful for me and all I wanted… all I wanted was to fucking cum! Is that too much to ask?”

“He didn’t make you cum?”

You finally lifted your head to look at your best friend with a pout and your signature puppy dog eyes to match. You shook it once to the right and once to the left before flinging yourself back down against Chan’s bed, the expensive comforter enveloping you in comfort.

“Maybe I could’ve been a little more verbal about what I wanted but I was so stunned by his incompetence that I couldn’t even bring myself to tell him that he was rubbing about an inch too high for me to really feel anything.”

You sat up, leaning back on your arms.

“Do guys just not know where the clit is?”

If it wasn’t for the way Chan choked on air after hearing your question, you would’ve been completely oblivious to the effect your words were having on your best friend.

“I do,” Chan answered simply.

You flopped back onto the boy’s incredibly comfortable bed, smiling softly at the way his pillows smelled exactly like him.

Said boy crawled across his bed so he could sprawl out next to you, your body shifting so your head could lean on Chan’s shoulder. 

“Thanks for letting me come over by the way. And not kicking me out once I started talking about my vagina.”

Your body’s proximity to Chan let you feel as well as hear his laugh. His broad shoulders shook with the noise and you could see the way his defined stomach tightened with the effort. Your eyes were glued to the white stripe of exposed skin, the color standing out against the black of his clothing. 

With your head tucked into the curve where his neck and shoulder met, all you could feel was your best friend. The smell of his cologne overwhelmed your senses; the familiar scent released some of the tension in your body that had built up over your hectic week.

Chan rolled over on his side and looked down at your body tucked into his own.

He grinned, a gesture that made you smile back, and you forgot all about incompetent boys and wasted nights. You did not, however, forget about the knot in your stomach which was becoming more and more prominent the longer Chan looked at you like that.

“What else are friends for?” He smiled.

His hushed words made your core ache and wetness pool between your legs. You prayed that he didn’t notice the way you clenched your thighs together to try and find some relief.

“I can do it, you know.”

You scrunched your eyebrows together, a silent request for him to explain what he meant.

“I can make you cum.”

You froze. All of a sudden, Chan’s plump lips seemed a lot closer to yours than before, his shoulders broader as they rose up from the bed beneath the two of you. Your gaze fell downwards, finding strong arms that were just begging to hold you and hands that promised to feel delicious against your skin. Would he be gentle with you? Or would his fingers leave purple imprints in your thighs that you could trace the morning after?

You were snapped out of your daydreaming when you heard Chan start apologizing, he was avoiding your gaze.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to blurt that out like that. You just sound so upset and stressed and I can’t stand to see you like this without offering to help-”

“Channie.” He stopped his rant and brought his eyes back to yours. 

“Do you want to help me?”

He nodded and your lips were on his in an instant.

Your fingers tangled themselves in his curly hair, pulling his mouth into yours and holding him there. His lips were as soft as they looked, moving against yours in a passionate dance. 

Chan shifted his body in order to press his body against yours, grazing your outer thigh with his hand before clutching the sheets next to your head to regain his balance.

He ground his hips into yours, taking advantage of the way your mouth opened in a moan to swipe his tongue against yours. 

You bent your legs to cage Chan’s body in, holding him in place as you rocked your hips into his, chasing after the delicious friction his hard-on provided for your clothed heat.

A sigh left your parted lips as Chan began a trail of open-mouthed kisses along the side of your neck. You kept a hand in his hair and gave slight tugs of approval whenever his lips met a particularly sensitive patch of skin; your other hand snuck under his t-shirt and started to trail up his back, the muscles flexing in response to your gentle touch.

Chan reached your collarbone, leaving feather-light kisses across it before latching his lips onto the skin there and sucking.

Your nails dug themselves into his back as you gasped. 

You hoped he was leaving marks; you wanted to remember what happened tonight, that Chan was making you feel like this, that Chan was making your body ache and feel and want. 

The boy on top of you pulled his lips off of you with a pop, rising on his arms to look down at you. 

You both simply looked at each other, taking in what you had just done together. 

Your hand came up to cup one side of your best friend’s face, you smiled when he leaned into the touch.

“You’re good at this,” you told him. It was a bit embarrassing, sure, but that wasn’t really your concern right now.

Chan seemed to like the compliment regardless, his eyes formed little half-moons as he giggled. He turned his face to the side, just enough to kiss the palm of your hand.

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

You found yourself distracted by the movement of his lips; they were red and glossy (because of you) and they caught the light of Chan’s desk lamp every time he opened his mouth.

Your hand left Chan’s cheek but stayed close enough to touch him. You brought your thumb to his bottom lip, slowly tracing the curve with your finger.

You released his lip at the same time that Chan dove down to get your lips back on his. 

You arms wrapped around Chan’s shoulders and tried to pull him as close to you as possible; your hands tugged at his t-shirt to try and pull it over his head.

Chan sat up to take his shirt off while you took this opportunity to straddle him once he flung the offensive fabric elsewhere. Chan’s eyes were blown wide when he found you on top of him but he recovered quickly, wrapping his arms around your waist and keeping you steady.

You whimpered with each roll of your hips into his, a new wave of pleasure flowing through you every time his arousal met yours.

Chan started to slip his fingers under the hem of your shirt, his thumb drawing small circles into the soft skin he found there, when you pulled back for a breath. He misunderstood the action, taking it as a sign of reluctance, a sign of regret.

“Do you want to slow down?”

It was no surprise to you that Chan was putting your wants ahead of his own; he had always had a protective instinct, especially when it came to you, and his kind heart was one of your favorite parts of him.

You stayed silent, wrapping your hands around his own to bring them farther up your shirt. He took over for you, placing his hands on your chest and cupping your breasts. He swiped his thumbs across your nipples through the fabric covering them, making you sigh into his touch.

While Chan was distracted, your attention fell from his pretty face to his broad shoulders and smooth chest. Your fingers traced the path your eyes were taking, dipping and curving into the definition of his stomach. His skin was so clear and smooth, protecting the strength that lie underneath.

You felt Chan’s gaze on you and looked up to meet it.

“What?” You tried to play it off.

“You were staring.”

“Was not!” 

Chan raised his eyebrows in a way that called you out on your bullshit.

You blushed, leaning forward to hide your face in his shoulder.

“I can’t help it,” you whined, “you’re so handsome Channie, always have been. My best friend is so handsome,” you repeated, starting to leave innocent kisses up the column of his neck.

A soft laugh escaped Chan’s lips (he was never good at taking compliments) as his hands came back to the hem of your shirt. You pulled away from his neck and raised your arms so he could pull the fabric off of your body. You reached around your body to undo your bra before Chan crawled back on top of you, pressing your back into the bed.

“Let me do what I said I would, okay? Tonight’s going to be about you.”

He started kissing a path between your breasts down to your stomach while his hands remained on your chest, rolling your nipples between his fingers.

You arched into his touch, threading your fingers back into his hair and tugging on the soft curls every time his teeth grazed your skin or his tongue circled the peaks on your chest. 

Chan finally reached the waistband of your jeans and took his time undoing your zipper.

Your squeezed your thighs together instinctively and whined when Chan stopped his movements for a split second, entranced by the movement.

“Someone’s impatient,” he joked, pulling your jeans down your legs.

“Can you blame me? You’re literally taking forever.”

“I can’t believe you’re trying to argue with me while my face is between your legs.”

You opened your mouth to speak but you instantly forgot what you wanted to say once you felt Chan place a kiss on your clothed heat, mouthing at the fabric of your underwear.

“You’re so wet… Jesus Christ, Y/N.”

Chan swiped his fingers across the pool of arousal, his lips parting in disbelief.

“That’s what you’re doing to me, Chan, that’s how much I need you,” you pleaded.

Your underwear was off in an instant. You felt Chan’s hands grip your thighs and push them up so your legs were bent; the stretch made your core clench in anticipation and your hips jerked upwards, almost coming in contact with Chan’s perfect lips.

He smirked, meeting your desperate gaze before craning his neck to place a kiss on your clit. 

Your hands shot out beside you, gripping the bedsheets in an attempt to ground yourself while Chan ate you out like you were his last meal. His hands kept your legs spread as he devoured you; every swipe of his tongue brought a new wave of wetness flooding out of your core that was greedily collected by his lips. He sucked lightly on the sensitive skin, tongue delving as deep as it could reach into your core.

One of your hands left your side to go to his head, trying to keep his mouth where you needed it most.

Chan didn’t appreciate the gesture; his hand left your thigh to pull yours out of his hair, lacing your fingers together as his other hand went to join his mouth at your core. One of his fingers slipped inside of you easily, a second joining it soon after.

You cried out shamelessly when Chan curled his fingers inside of you, hitting your upper wall in just the right way. 

All the pent up frustration from the weak was trickling down your spine and pooling in your lower stomach, the pressure increasing with every stroke of Chan’s fingers.

It was almost too late when you decided this wasn’t how you wanted to finish; you didn’t want fingers, you wanted Chan and you prayed that he wanted you too.

You reached over to his bedside table, trying your best to stay focused on the task at hand while a beautiful boy was still tucked between your legs.

Once Chan had felt you wiggling around to reach the drawer he had stopped his movements (feeling a little insulted) and looked up to see what you found so interesting about his bedroom furniture.

Your fingers finally found what they were looking for; you pulled the foil packet out of Chan’s drawer and held it out to him.

“Do you want to?” The packet shone like the wetness on Chan’s chin.

Chan took the condom from you, considering your question.

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Please?”

His hands left your body and went to his jeans; the remaining slick on his fingers left darkened trails on the fabric.

“Is one guy not enough for you?”

“What?”

Chan sat back to pull his pants off the rest of the way.

“You’ve already had one dick inside of you tonight and now you’re begging for another one.”

Your eyes narrowed as you glared at your best friend. You knew he was just trying to rile you up, but you decided to bite back.

“Are you just stalling because you don’t think you can make me cum?”

“Excuse me?”

“You weren’t complaining a second ago when your fingers were inside me but all of a sudden I hand you a condom and all your confidence has disappeared… poof!”

Chan took your hand in his and brought it towards his body, stopping when your fingers rested around the waistband of his underwear.

“I think you’ll find that I have more than enough confidence.”

You ignored his comment and instead brought your attention to the hard length that was still partially hidden from view.

Your fingers traced the outline of Chan’s shaft, smirking when you heard him groan and squeezing his cock through the fabric to see if you could hear that noise again.

You looked up at Chan, asking for permission as you hooked your fingers in his waistband.

He nodded and your hand was wrapped around him in an instant while the other tried pushing the rest of the fabric away from the most beautiful cock you have ever seen in your life.

Chan’s dick was curved against his hard stomach with its rosy tip leaking all over your hand, making your ministrations up and down the length that much easier. You swiped your thumb over the head, making Chan shudder.

You found yourself being pushed backwards by two hands on your shoulders; you let it happen as this angle gave you the best view of the needy boy in front of you.

Chan yanked his underwear off before he rolled the condom on and moved to hover above you. You smiled at him and rose your head up a few inches so you could peck his lips.

He nuzzled his nose into your neck, making you giggle, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pressing his bare chest to yours.

You felt his cock against your thigh, heavy and hard with the same need that had you dripping onto your best friend’s bedsheets.

“Do you still want me?” Chan whispered, searching your face for any sign of hesitation.

“Of course,” you replied.

He pressed his forehead against yours while he reached to position himself, pressing his body into yours until you two were closer than you ever had been before.

You felt so full with Chan inside of you that you could barely breathe; you wanted to cry when he began to pull out, not enjoying the emptiness, and you almost screamed when his hips shot forward to send his cock back into your warmth.

Chan spread your legs wide, placing his hands on either side of your waist so he could hold himself up while he pounded into you. 

You gripped his biceps, trying to ground yourself and focus on something outside of the pleasure Chan was bringing you. Each one of his thrusts sent a bolt of electricity up your spine that made you dig your nails into his skin to try and handle the feeling.

The boy above you dropped down to his forearms, bringing his face closer to yours as you panted into each other’s mouths. He had started to roll his hips into yours, grinding his lower stomach into your clit every time he moved.

Your nerves were on fire. Every speck of skin that touched Chan’s was ablaze, a fire was growing in your stomach and stretching across you and Chan, swallowing you whole.

The muscles in your thighs were flexing uncontrollably as your stomach clenched and your back arched; the release you so desperately craved was right there.

“Chan,” you cried out, unable to say much more.

He understood anyways, though, reaching between your bodies to circle your clit with his thumb while his hips restarted their incessant pounding into yours.

You threw your head back in a silent scream as you came. You could only feel Chan deep inside of you as he helped you ride out your orgasm, his cock stretching and filling your walls in a way that no one else had before.

Chan thrust his cock into your heat one more time, groaning as he came, trying to get himself as deep inside you as he could.

He collapsed on top of you, your hearts pounding against each other underneath flushed and sweaty skin.

“I told you I could do it.”

You and Chan laughed as you held each other and came down from your highs.

You had never felt lighter.

[missbonekitty]

I posted 13,267 times in 2021

272 posts created (2%)

12995 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 47.8 posts.

I added 172 tags in 2021

#twst oc - 54 posts

#iggy ashsorrow - 30 posts

#twisted wonderland - 28 posts

#idia shroud - 15 posts

#twst - 12 posts

#twisted wonderland oc - 10 posts

#alistair rosetea - 10 posts

#twst chapter 6 spoilers - 5 posts

#obey me - 4 posts

#ffxiv oc - 4 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i want to share the sketches i’ve done but i also wanna post info but i think posting info would be better done with just a picture of iggy

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Iggy doesn’t really consider Grim to be a cat, honestly.

76 notes • Posted 2021-05-09 17:24:53 GMT

#4

twisted wonderland chapter 6 stuff

so i and some friends had brainworms earlier today talking about chapter 6

these are not all my thoughts/theories

  THERE’s A LOT OF RAMBLING AND HEAVY THEORYCRAFTING, SERIOUS BRAINROTTING AND GOING DEEP INTO SOME ANGST AND MENTIONS OF DEATH.

so please read at your own discretion.

 CHAPTER 6 SPOILERS AHEAD

and a lot of what if’s

so basically Idia saying that the “Subjects” Charon had come to collect were actual people, not phantoms, and were capable of reasoning (paraphrasing bc i dont have the exact quotes) so they should be more careful/gentle.

Phantoms are most likely the creatures that we see behind those who OB. We know that STYX is an organization that’s dedicated to studying Overblots and we know that they collect mages who have Overblotted, Leona saying that those they take rarely come back. But I think that htey also usually only take mages who are probably still in the midst of an OB or haven’t recovered/have lasting effects. Hence why they rarely come back. (i bring up why i think they took the recovered students further on)

But what if phantoms, like the one we see in the dwarf mines, are the results of mages who were taken over completely by Overblot. They were never disconnected/torn away from the phantom (which, in the fights at least, almost seem like they’re puppeteering the mage its attached to) so they become one with/are absorbed by it.

Still alive within it, to an extent, but no longer have their own will.

---

This ties into a huge brainworm that I got about what may have happened to OG Ortho.

I was re-reading Ortho’s card/personal stories and there are a lot of little asides and things he or Idia say that clearly hint towards a medical thing with OG Ortho.

I think it’s Ortho’s alchemy uniform card? Where Idia forgot that he gave him a small arm that could get into narrow spaces (he was fixing/taking apart something.)

Idia: ...what was I trying to do, giving you all of these different functions. There’s not even any reason for those cutting-edge medical tools at this point...

Idia: I mean... I mean, originally I was...

Think it’s the same card with Ortho going out and tending to Silver’s sprained ankle. He has immediate access to (not including that he has a 3d printer on him) bandages, disinfectant, gauze, etc.

So I started wondering if maybe the original reason for the robot that is now Ortho was like.. a medical bot for OG Ortho, who I know a lot of people headcanon as having been probably frail or sickly (I heard that there might be mention that Idia and Ortho couldnt go outside much? I haven’t looked for it yet) so I FEEL like that’s a possibility given all of the medical tools built into him, and also the fact that Idia was very.. weird about it when he talked about it. Ortho also, after Idia says the above, immediately tries to cheer him up and tell him to not think about it.

  (Also, despite Silver only having a sprained ankle, Ortho is extremely worried and tells him this.

Ortho: You may be sick in ways that you haven’t even realized yet, and if you don’t attack them now it could be too late.)

Which made me think that he could be referencing what may have happened to OG Ortho. told you i was deep in the brainworms.

  ---

  Then of course there’s the theory thread that OG Ortho may have Overblotted and didn’t survive.

Which... got the brainworms going again.

What if.....

(if Phantoms are the creatures/manifestations that we see behind mages who are currently in Overblot and seem to be puppeteering them since i touched on this up above)

...what if OG Ortho Overblotted somehow back then, but they didn’t know how to stop it or separate him, and he was absorbed into the Phantom. Perhaps OG Ortho isn’t actually “dead”.

  And S.T.Y.X., a company run by/created by(?) Idia’s family is so fixated on studying mages who have Overblotted because they’re trying to find a way to save/remove him from the Phantom. They’ve taken/kidnapped all of the students who have Overblotted and survived and are normal again.

  Which then lead into me being like what if (if Idia is the one who ends up Overblotting at the end of Chapter 6) they try experimenting on OG Ortho’s Phantom to try to draw him back out but something goes wrong, and the Phantom disappears without OG Ortho being able to be removed.. effectively meaning they lose him.. again. I think that would make Idia OB.

See the full post

83 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 00:26:05 GMT

#3

first look at my twisted wonderland oc Iggy Ashsorrow, whose actual first name is... Ignacia.

Which she hates.

And everyone knows this.

Including Ace.

87 notes • Posted 2021-04-09 22:56:38 GMT

#2

“Post+ is dead“

yeah okay, sure.

  clearly they’ve given up on it. this article is from today

  https://techcrunch.com/2021/09/21/tumblrs-subscription-product-post-enters-open-beta-after-much-scrutiny-from-users/

   Open beta started today for US users, DO NOT USE IT.

The only way they may give up on this, protests aside, is if they do NOT get the numbers and engagement they’d need to keep it up.

  @postplus-protest​

119 notes • Posted 2021-09-21 14:52:30 GMT

#1

malleus and kalim are not stupid

idia is not an incel

  thanks for coming to my ted talk

123 notes • Posted 2021-07-13 20:37:11 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[ughgclden]

bee, love, don’t apologise, please, it’s okay, and first and foremost, are you alright?? i hope you’re taking care of yourself, love, but i understand, i don’t think there’s been a year since third grade that i haven’t gotten pneumonia in the winter. I hope you’re feeling alright!!

honestly, dead poets society is one of my only personality traits anymore, i find myself drawing parallels to it constantly, for no reason but i love thinking about it. i’ve watched it so many times at this point, it’s,,, concerning. those tests always take me way less time than they give me, and i used to feel really awkward, i remember i took a bio one once, four hours they gave me, 45 minutes in, i was finished, and the moderator didn’t believe me. i aced it too, like the silly little neil kinnie i am. i’ve gotten used to the ‘worse’ side of being a neil kinnie, and honestly, now that my mum isn’t as controlling about everything as she used to be, it’s easier to deal with. i remember once, i’d gotten an 89 in algebra, and she threatened to pull me out of the fall show. that was a neil perry moment if i ever had one lol. the biggest thing these days is just imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome like oh you’re not hispanic enough, but also, you’re not queer enough, nonbinary enough, things like that. It’s exacerbated some days, but i try.

i watched the it movies on my cousin’s hbo,,, i may or may not have used it without her permission since she forgot to log out of my computer, but that’s neither here nor there. i remember having such a hard time taking the first one seriously initially, because of all the new kids on the block jokes, having a mum who was obsessed with them made it hard, especially when i actually got them all- in truth, the only midnight premiere i’ve been able to make was the force awakens, and i had school the next day too. i’m definitely a richie kinnie, and i have the internalised homophobia (only towards myself though) to prove it /hj my waterbottle has both a sticker of neil on it and a sticker of the r + e carving on it. in case there was any doubt about me lmao. stan kin makes sense for you, honestly, i can see it, i can see it.

okay so listen- no really, i’d bought them with the intention of only drinking half of one that night and spreading them out like that, but then came 9:45pm, and i had a research paper (on womens’ pockets/lack thereof) due at 10am that i simply hadn’t even started, so i downed them all in an hour and got the paper turned in at 5:56 in the morning. but i scare you huh? /hj bee, you’re too sweet, in truth, i’m fairly inelegant, but i try, as for the comforting and cosy, i’ll take you at your word, since that is something only someone interacting with me could discern. i do try to be kind to others for the most part. mainly i think because i’m usually on the other end of mean people.

i’m just perceptive like that bee, i dunno what to tell you, something just tells me, you know? /j and thank you, i always feel a little silly talking about it, because most of the tattoos i want are dead poets society tattoos, i guess some part of me, within the part of me that feels so incredibly tied to it, feels as if if i were able to get a tattoo i’d owe it to the movie in some way, if that makes any sense. i’ve already begged a friend of mine to go with me to get my first once i get to new york, the question though, is what to get first. i’ve got time to make a decision (for once in my life) i just spend a lot of time thinking about it.

honestly, i have never known a school rule to make sense. banning ripped jeans? banning dyed hair? it’s almost as if if they don’t stifle everything natural about kids expressing themselves they dont feel like they’re doing anything. but i digress. the same-sex couple rules were. awful. 12 year old me had enough going on without having an administrator yell at my friend and i for hugging in the courtyard and not leaving until we were a foot apart, but hey.

okay, jumping over a fence to go to a mcdonalds? how coming of age indie movie manic pixie dream girl of you /hj

200k words, is that a challenge? also ahaha not at all like my italian uncle up there just opened a ‘pizzeria’ /hj but mob!star au? might be a project i should start… granted, i’m not as good a storyteller as you, but i can try.

when i was little, i wanted to revolutionise things, i guess. i even actually wrote out a campaign, i wonder if its still somewhere. thank you for believing in me, but these days, bee, i’m thinking less about changing the world, and more about making it the next few weeks, and then the ones after that. little star was aware of so much, but also so little. i wonder what they’d think of me now, honestly.

i did, in fact, teach archery, it was so fun but my arms got SO SORE, and the kid who challenged my archery skills seemed surprised when i actually,, hit the bullseyes. my inner susan was happy then. incidentally the experience is also why i made a playlist called “touchstarved and wanting to teach you to shoot a bow” which low-key slaps when i’m lonely. and bee omg i cannot believe you said im better than susan pevensie i will be thinking about this for the rest of my life thank you- and yes, yes it was named aslan, however did you guess? /j prince caspian<33333

i’ll let you know my results from the tournament, as soon as they come out, and i say this having just put on pjs after taking off my suit, and sitting in the room with my cat in my dear evan hansen hoodie, frantically refreshing the results page because i’m anxious and impatient.

i hope you have a good night, with fitful and restful sleep, i’m sorry this got to be so long, but you know me, i certainly can talk. i’m honestly shocked i even made it to finals, considering i was running off four hours of sleep, having gone to bed at three last night. whoops.

all my love, hugs, and a warm mug of tea,

yours,

star✨

p.s i said yes so that?? happened?? it honestly feels surreal but we’re not gonna be in the same place anymore come the end of this year, so that’ll be something to deal with

P.p.s might just start adding spanish or latin or russian phrases to these if i keep having to translate your cute french bee /lh /hj

star my love, i know you said don't apologise, but i think the word 'sorry' makes up about 60% of my vocabulary. i'm okay!! was just a bit icky, but luckily i've recovered now!!

that's so nice - and again, makes so much sense for you. i think you would work perfectly in welton, i know it. i love bringing the messages from that film into my own life, as silly as it may sound. i'm astonished, and so fucking jealous of you. i used to finish tests maybe half an hour early, but hours is so impressive??? fun fact i did finish my physics final in about 45 minutes and slept for the other hour <3 neil would b proud my love!!! oh my god - i'm so sorry that happened??? but that is also so neil kinnie??? it seems futile me saying this, but i assure you that you are hispanic enough, and queer enough, and non-binary enough. you are enough, period. more than enough even. imposter syndrome is the worst, and i'm so so sorry you're dealing with it.

she did that to herself, you just saw an opportunity /lh a midnight premiere of the force awakens sounds so cute though omg - i hope you had the absolute best time. the r + e carving actually broke me. as a die hard reddie shipper since 2017, seeing the movie make it basically canon?! had me a mess in the cinema.

you are ridiculously comforting and cosy, everything about you feels like a warm hug from a familiar face and i love it. and the way you write is so smooth, it makes me think of a quill smoothly gliding across parchment, the deep black ink unsmudged and pristine. that seems a little pretentious of me, but oh well.

i also want some dps tattoos!! i desperately want "and still we sleep" from todd's poem, and was also so so tempted to get an outline drawing of meeks + pitts dancing on the roof. i love that, and i can't wait until the day you get it, whichever one it may be. my one concern is becoming addicted to them and making my bank account suffer - at least my piercing obsession is a little easier to fund /hj

i've NEVER gotten that - they claim it's 'distracting' but how on earth would it be?? when i got to college, no one was distracted by my dyed hair, and i certainly wasn't distracted by other people's outfits or painted nails. you were yelled at. for hugging. a friend.. what the fuck is wrong with these people??

just call me ramona flowers star /j it was possibly the highlight of my school career, sans hiding in the back room of the music room to avoid a maths test

i bet you're an amazing storyteller, if these letters are anything to go by. it would be a new york times best seller, i know it

we all have to take things one step at a time, i think. that's the only way i really get through things if i'm honest. one day after another and the cycle repeats. i love wondering what young me would think of me now - i'd probably be intimidated of myself, but i like to think i'd be proud that i'm still here, pursuing something i love

that playlist. sounds nothing short of sheer perfection. i too am touch starved and want to teach someone to shoot a bow - even though i.. cannot shoot a bow... but i can wield a sword so, it's close enough.

i saw your message about the tournament results - im so fucking proud of you!!!! you deserve it so so much and i couldn't be happier for you. see, your words and ideas are changing the world, even if you don't realise it.

ps; that is so fun???? omg im so happy for you star, you deserve tis <33 i hope towards the end of this year whatever happens leaves you both happy, no matter how far the distance.

pps; omg no.. please don't do that.. aha that would be awful... definitely wouldn't make my heart race.. haha not at all

all of my love, star. pardon the pun, but you are out of this world ;) i'll leave you with one of my favourite quotes;

il n'y a qu'un bonheur dans la vie, c'est d'aimer et d'être aimé <3

[my-fanfic-library]

Something Different {BBC Dracula x Reader} [4]

Masterlist

~^*^~

Your eyes switched from Dracula, to the armed force team and then back to Dracula. You couldn’t help but think back to the day at the Jonathan Harker Foundation when he had told you that he knew he could easily win against the team of gun-wielding men. That lead you to remember his account aboard the Demeter, in which he had been shot four times in the chest. He had felt no pain and had almost immediately gotten up to devour the man that shot him.

How could you be so stupid?!

Of course he would easily win against mortal men! All they had was (to quote the brave gentleman deceased of 123 years) steel and powder! They were no match for Count Dracula. It was at that precise moment that you realised just how royally screwed you really were. You had lead yourself out to a concealed corner, meters above an angry sea, with the intentions of luring over an ancient vampire and had succeeded. A few bullets would do him no damage, but his fangs and his beastly power would be enough to finish you all off within a minute or two.

You turned your eyes to Dracula once more and he was staring straight at you. You kept the eye contact. He licked his lips and lowered his arms.

“Did you invite them?” He inquired.

You were too frozen to speak. The dread that had overcome you was too much for you to handle.

“Silly girl. Did you truly think that you would ever have the upper hand against someone - something - like me?”

Again, you were unable to answer him. He stretched his neck, rolling it backwards to expose his thick neck and a deep growl eminated from his chest.

“What a shame. I was beginning to like you, [First].”

“What are you going to do to me?”

He neared you once more and faintly you heard one of the men shout for him to stop moving. He did not listen. He swaggered towards you with some pride. You could only assume he knew that the ball was in his court.

When his fingers trailed against your waist for a second, you were unable to suppress the hum that rumbled in your throat. For just a moment, you forgot who was touching you. His mouth came to hover jusy above the skin just above your collarbone. He was almost touching the flesh, but kept enough space to tantalise you.

“You stepped out of line.” He breathed against your skin, “I never break my promises, Miss [First].” Your eyes widened.

He wouldn’t.

His other hand came to grip your waist and both hands were now holding you firm. You wriggled in his grasp, trying to set yourself free. You heard Zoe’s voice from some distance away but you knew she’d never get to you.

“You’re going to kill me.” You whispered the statement.

“No, I told you, I don’t want to kill you. You’re going to learn a lesson.”

“I-“

“Never cross me again, [First].”

He pressed his body firmly to yours and he pushed wyour body harshly backwards with no effort on his behalf. The railing behind you broke as if it was nothing more than a flimsy and tiny tree branch. You became weightless, with the Count clutching you tight as you plummeted down into the North Sea.

~^*^~

The days that followed were quiet. You suspected that you had most deeply offended Count Dracula, as although you continued to try and lure him to you, he made no attempt to visit you again. By the fourth day of his clear ignoring of you, you decided to spend a day inside of the Jonathan Harker Foundation, where you ended up running into a very old friend.

When your eyes had landed on Jack Seward, you swore you had a heart attack. A little more matured than the last time you saw him, with a slightly different cut to his hair, maybe an inch at most taller, he had hardly changed. Seeing him brought back a flood of memories, most of them painful, even more linking to another person whom you had buried down in the deepest dungeons of your heart and mind and begged to never have to think about again.

Jack’s eyes had lit up, despite the clear sadness evident in them and had begun to ramble about how much time it had been since you’d last met. Although Jack had never done a thing wrong to you, you couldn’t help that grease stain of a grudge on your heart catch a little on him in your mind. He had been associated. Although he never knew what went on, you felt like he picked her over you.

“So, what are you doing here?” You inquired, smiling through the whirlwind of negative emotions currently circulating you, “no offence, I mean. Do you work here?

“Not work, per se. I’m actually a junior doctor, I’m just here because Zoe- Dr. Van Helsing, put me forward for some study with a vampire. What about you?” The ease in which he spoke, the casualness of it made you scoff.

“Me? I’m an associate of Zoe’s. I’ve been working with criminals for the past two and a half years, learning how they tick and getting to the bottom of the why. She asked me to lend a hand on the vampire as we seem to be calling him.”

“I see...”

“A junior doctor, though, eh? Who would’ve thought the Jack Seward who couldn’t handle watching a birthing video in year ten would turn out to be a doctor?” You playfully sighed.

“I actually want to go into mental health. Definitely not.. birthing.” A chill ran down his spine and he visibly shivered.

You laughed and accompanied him as far as where he needed to be. Although you had no need to be inside of the institute, you knew you could find solace somewhere. Truth be told, you were trying to avoid Zoe for even a few hours. She had been relentlessly hounding you for information on Dracula, and trying to get your neck treated. After the Count had so kindly soft-chocked you, a purple bruise had bloomed in the shape of his hand stretching across your skin. If she knew about the similar marks on both sides of your waist, you knew she’d have a fit. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Zoe, it was quite the opposite. It was simply that you knew she was riddled with guilt.

Zoe had spent her whole life chasing the fantasy of finding Dracula. It was all that she ever wanted. She needed to know where he was. He had killed her great-great paternal aunt along witj several others with them not realising what he was for weeks and then all but disappeared. He had never been recovered from the shipwreck of the Demeter and no one had seen him since. Knowing that the foundation she ran, the institute she had in her clutches had brought back such evil was driving her crazy with the guilt. People were dying. Every day, at least two new victims would be announced, most drained of their blood and with a chunk of their throats gone. She felt responsible.

In your thoughts, you managed to find an unoccupied room and slumped down into one of the chairs closest to the door. You had found it difficult to sleep, worrying that a certain vampire would find you and gain entry to your home. You didn’t think that he knew where you lived, but he was a vampire who could turn himself into a fly. For all you knew he was hovering around you currently.

Every now and then, a rush of voices would flow past the door, and you’d sink further down into your seat to avoid being detected. For just a moment, you craved solace and quiet. It seemed this abandoned room provided it well. However, you only stayed for another short moment before pushing yourself up and leaving the room.

Standing against the wall opposite where you emerged was Zoe with her arms crossed. Jack was standing awkwardly beside her.

“I was beginning to wonder when you were going to come out of there.” She stated plainly, “it seems the two people I need to speak with the most are consistent in trying to avoid me.”

“I’m sorry, Zoe. I just needed a little space.”

“That’s understandable. You could have just said.” She pushed herself away from the wall so that she was standing fully, “you look exhausted.”

“I am.” You confessed, “I’m worried about-...” you cut yourself off. Jack was staring right at you with such pity it made you want to burst into tears right there.

“Dracula.” He finished for you.

“Yes, well, he did leave quite the nasty bruise on your neck and proceed to throw you both into the sea.” Zoe state’s as if you couldn’t recall. You definitely could.

Zoe then insisted that you go home and get some real rest. She allocated some men to be stationed around your home and kindly offered to drive you back herself. It was a quick drive and she decided to bring Jack along, considering the three of you seemed to know a little more about the Count than most. As she pulled up outside of your house, you looked through the windows. Everything was as you left it. To your left was the river, currently drained of nearly all it’s water as the tide was out. You bid the two farewell and retreated into your home.

Time slipped by with ease once you were home. You did not sleep, though you probably should have given the circumstances. At exactly 8:09pm, as you watched some aged comedy, your door knocked. It was most likely Zoe checking up on you, so you rose and went to answer.

You had no chance to try and slam the door shut once it was opened as his large hand held the wood with ease, preventing it was swinging back into its frame.

“How did you find me?” You inquired, a little scared, but as usual keeping your calm front.

“It wasn’t difficult. You walk home alone almost every day. That cinertrack has a lot of places to duck if someone turns to look, you know.” He informed you. Dracula’s eyes twinkled with mischief once more and he licked his lips he was triumphant.

“Why are you here?” Was your next question.

“To see you, of course. Will you invite me in?”

“Will you harm me if I do?”

“Have you learnt your lesson?”

“Come in, Dracula.”

“Good girl.”

You turned sluggishly, b-lining for your sofa once more. Dracula followed behind you. His footsteps echoed in your ears. When you flipped down on soft cushions, you eyed the vampire who took a seat on your La-Z Boy.

“Ah, you have one of the boxes, as well.” He mused.

“As well?” You cocked an eyebrow.

“Yes, whenever I have been invited in to feast, they’ve had those boxes,” he pointed at your TV, “clever thing isn’t it?”

“I mean, I guess so.”

“You humans seemed to have grown much too accustomed to these fine luxuries in life. Very ungrateful for them.”

“It’s not- never mind. I’m going to get ready for bed.”

You pushed yourself up once more and found yourself leaving him alone as you climbed your stairs. Upon entering the bathroom, you took a look at yourself in the mirror. The purple bruise was still evident on your neck. It wasn’t faded much at all and you wondered how long it was going to take for it to disappear. You traced the line with your finger.

“Yes, sorry about that.”

You turned your head to see him leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. A small smirk played on his lips. He wasn’t sorry, he was proud of it.

He moved into the room, slow steps nearing you until he was stood directly behind you. You locked eyes with him in the mirror. Like this, you could see the sheer size difference between you. He overpowered you in every aspect and it began to dawn on you how stupid you had been.

“Stupid things, mirrors.” He uttered, frowning and used his hands to turn you to face him, “they are beyond the complexity of this world, I assure you. Vanity is such a reckless thing.”

“Says the man clearly obsessed with keeping up with appearances.” You rolled your eyes at him, peering up through your eyelashes at his face.

“It is,” he brought up a hand, coolness stinging your neck where the bruise was, “beautiful. Did I do the same thing on your waist?”

“Would it matter?” You questioned.

“Of course. You must know by now that I revel in the things that I can do to you fragile beings.”

“You cannot scare me, Dracula.”

“You always lie to me when your pulse is so erratic.” He lowered his voice, “do you take enjoyment out of deceiving others, so?”

“No.” You whispered.

“Then why do you do it?”

You could not answer him. He already knew why. It was foolish to try and save face in front of a vampire who knew what you were going to do before even you did. A smirk cane upon his lips and he took a step back, allowing for you to leave the room. He followed you out and into your bedroom. This, you did not realise until you were sat fully in bed and turned to see him sitting causally in the arm chair by your door.

You inwardly grumbled.

Surely a man of his age would be able to realise what was crossing a boundary? Were you going to have to spell it out for him? He simply stared at you for a moment before sitting up and ridding himself of his navy suit jacket. Now he sat with his white shirt and black waistcoat. You glared as he made himself comfortable.

“What are you doing?” You snapped.

“Sitting.” It was his turn to roll his eyes.

“You do realise why I’ve come in here, right?”

“Yes, I’m not stopping you from sleeping, [First]. I’ll wait here until you wake up.”

“What so you can feed on me when I’m out cold? Yeah, that’s not happening.”

“[First],” he sat forwards once more, resting his elbows on his thighs and pacing his hands together with his fingers, “had I wanted to kill you, be assured I would have done it the first time we met. You are lucky you were so ballsy as to shut the light out just to talk to me.”

“Drac, I’m not sleeping in here with you sitting there.”

“Sleep or don’t sleep, I’m comfortable here.”

You groaned and flopped back on to the mattress. You cursed at yourself. Only an idiot would invite a vampire so intrusive into their house at bedtime.

~^Taglist^~

@vampiregirl1797 @avalanet @bunnyreese12 @nerdonpluto @teamceleries @grifffins @hitbythunder @winterseoul @mymagicsuitcase @angeli-fucking-cat -cat @benedictethegoddess @bloodhon3yx

Thank you all for the support!

[crystalwillow]

When You’re Ready

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x Casey Valentine (F!MC)

A/N: Hi guys. This is my first time rewriting a chapter as my own short fiction. I don’t see many fanfictions with Rafael and Casey (both male and female MC). I won’t be quoting may lines from the actual chapters because my brain is a mess and I forgot to screenshot a lot of what’s happened recently as I was so emotionally engaged in it all. But I thought it would be sweet to add this into the mix. 

Tagging: @kiteplayschoices 

--- After they know the cure worked and they’re both awake ---

Casey had just been told by a happy Sienna that Rafael had woken up, and she could go to see him. He’d been asking for her. Happily, Casey made her way to his room, but stopped in her tracks as she heard shouting coming from his room.

“Did you even think of me before you charged in there?!”

“I- No. I didn’t”

“Just as I thought. Goodbye, Rafael. I’m glad you’re okay but... we’re not. In fact there is no ‘we’ anymore. This relationship is over.”

“Sora-“

Casey watched as Rafael’s now ex-boyfriend stormed out of the room, stopping and turning to look at her before heading off through the halls in a rush. Tears stinging his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Casey walked on hesitantly and entered Raf’s room, poking her head in first. Rafael looked up and a smile graced his features. Even though he was still a little pale and clearly dehydrated, to her he still looked as beautiful as he did the first day she saw him. She entered and returned his smile as she sat in the chair beside the bed.

“Hey. Are you okay? I heard.. what happened just now.”

“Oh. ... Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah... Sora was right. I wanted it to work, but... my heart? It wasn’t in it.”

“I see.” Casey said nodding, focusing on a wall before looking back into his eyes. “So... what does this mean for you now? Are you still going to Brazil, or...?”

Rafael looked at the door for a minute. Thought flickering over his face before he focused back on Casey.

“No. No, I don’t think so. I told myself that moving would.... be good for me. A new frontier. But now that I think about it. I think I was just running away.”

He moved his hand slightly, Casey noticed and laced their fingers together and he squeezed lightly.

“I’m going to stay. I need to. I wanted a change, and well.. I got one.”

The two locked eyes and grinned at each other briefly. Casey scooted closer and rested her head on his shoulder, Rafael leaning his head onto hers and taking a deep breath. A ghost of a smile crossed his face as they stayed like that for a while. In that moment, a lot clicked into place. One of those things being that his break-up with Sora a few moments ago didn’t hurt like it should have, because he wanted this. He wanted Casey. Then his eyes widened as the final realization came forward. He loves her, and wants to love her for the rest of their lives. But he shook the thought from his mind, forcing himself to enjoy the current moment.

--- Days Later ---

“Dr. Valentine? ... Casey?”

She turned round to face the other person in her room, still in a bit of a daze.

“Hm?”

“I’m discharging you.”

“What? But.”

Ethan stopped her by holding up his hand. “Don’t even attempt to argue with me. I’m happy with your latest test results. I’m sending you home.”

Casey sat on the bed, silent as her gaze fell to the floor. She was scared, though she wouldn’t openly admit that to anyone just yet. Even though she had admitted she was scared of dying, this seemed different to her.

“Can I do normal things again?” she asked numbly

“Yes. You can walk, eat your favourite ice cream, do light exercise. No sexual activity though please, that’s too strenuous. I don’t need you re-admitted.”

He had made his last comment in hope of getting her to smile but it was evident that wasn’t going to work. Sighing, Ethan sat in the chair next to her bed.

“What is it?”

“Can I go to the memorial?”

“I wouldn’t suggest it. Like Rafael, your immune system is still a bit weak. So whilst yes, I am discharging you. I would suggest staying away from large gatherings for a while.”

“Can I see Rafael? Is he okay?”

“He’s fine Casey. Said something about going home to his vovo.”

“His Grandma.” Casey said quietly, a ghost of  a smile on her lips. “He loves her so much. The guilt that hit him when we were in that isolation room before he went into his coma...” she trailed off as she remembered that moment. Wishing she could have just had the courage to kiss his lips, even if it was just a light peck. Or just kissing his cheek. She regrets not laying out how she felt before he slipped into his deepened state of sleep.

“Casey?”

She turned her head to look Ethan in the eye.

“You should go and see him. He was asking after you before he left. He wanted to come here but was more concerned about getting to his grandma.”

“He really does love her. I don’t blame him. She must have been worried sick about her poor grandson.”

Ethan hummed in agreement with a tight nod.

“When you’re ready you’re free to go.” He told her as he got up and left the room.

“Dr. Ramsey?” Casey called out. Ethan stopped in the doorway and turned around to look at her.

“Yes?”

“Thank you. For looking after me. Helping me recover. You’re a good friend.”

“It was nothing. I wasn’t going to lose you too.”

She smiled at him and he smiled back before leaving. Casey collected her belongings and was soon in a cab on her way to Rafael’s grandma’s house. When she got there, she paid the cab driver and stepped out, slinging her bag over her shoulder and looking at the front door. Before she could even walk up one cobblestone on the path, a short and delighted looking old lady came rushing outside.

“Thank you!” she half sighed, half shrieked as she hugged Casey tightly. Surprise spread onto Casey’s face. Rafael appeared at the door and chuckled.

“Vovo. Let the poor woman come inside first. I’m sorry Casey, she’s a... little excited to meet you.”

His grandma pulled away from Casey, beaming brightly.

“Don’t make such a fuss Rafael! This girl helped save your life! She should be thanked properly.”

Rafael chuckled again, standing up straight.

“Well shall we at least invite her inside?”

“Oh of course! How rude of me. Come in Casey, come in.”

She said excitedly, taking the young doctors hand and pulling her inside past Rafael who beamed at her happily. He closed the door behind them and followed to the kitchen, stopping next to Casey, leaning over and whispering to her.

“Two seconds and she already loves you more than me.”

“What can I say? I’m pretty loveable.”

“Can’t argue there.”

The two shared a smile as Rafael’s grandma turned back to them, with a plate full of pastries.

“Now. You two must be starving. I know for a fact you haven’t eaten since breakfast Rafael.” She fixed him with a stern look. and he grinned back sheepishly, grabbing a delicious looking pastry from the plate.

“Thank you vovo.”

“And you dear? What would you like?”

Casey looked at the plate considering her options. But her face fell, she wasn’t hungry right now, and she felt rotten for not wanting to choose a pastry. They looked beautiful and like a great amount of love had gone into making them. Rafael noticed the shift in her features and smiled softly, squeezing her hand under the table as he swallowed his bite of food.

“Vovo? Why don’t we let Casey rest for a bit first. She’s just left the hospital.”

“Okay. But I’ll leave these here for you two to enjoy. But don’t eat them all, I’ve got friends from bingo coming over later.” She smiled kindly and left the room, heading into a different one just down the hall. Rafael put his pastry down on the table and turned to Casey, a worried frown taking over his features as he took her hands in his.

“Raf?”

“Are you okay Casey? I’ve been worried about you.”

“Honestly? No. I’m far from okay.”

He sighed and pulled her to his chest holding her tight. Casey clung to him as if she was afraid he’d disappear when she let go.

“I can’t even go to the darn memorial. I led two people to their deaths, and I can’t even pay my respects and tell them how sorry I am. And I’m sure sienna hates me. I mean I practically killed the man she wanted to date. Or was dating. Whatever. She’s lost the first person who loved her and showed her how special she was. I took him from her.”

“Hey. Hey. Where’s all of this coming from? You didn’t kill them, Casey.”

“I may as well have done. Just took a knife and stabbed them, or a gun and shot them in the head. I got them trapped-, I got all of us trapped in that room. I could have killed you too. I could have lost you. The man I-” she stopped as a sob escaped her. Rafael sighed and held her close. Rubbing comforting circles on her back as she clung to him for dear life.

“It’s just. It’s not fair! I can understand that Travis may not have cared if he died. That he wanted the senator to pay for essentially being the cause in the death of his brother. But... why not let us go first? Why not let people who were just doing their jobs and saying goodbyes leave? Why did we have to be there? Why did Danny and Bobby have to pay with their lives? If anyone was to die. It should have been me.”

“Casey, no. Don’t talk like that! Please.”

“But it’s the truth isn’t it? I made the misjudgment of just barging in there. I discovered what was going on. I was the main catalyst in getting people hurt and killed. I hear voices. Their voices. They blame me. And they’re right. It is all my fault. It’s my fault Bobby won’t be giving his daughter that car on her 16th. It’s my fault that Sienna and Danny will never ever again go on a date or flirt or just be happy together like they deserved. I’m a monster Rafael. I should have quit when the situation with Mrs. Martinez happened. Not even fought to keep my medical license. It’s clear that I don’t deserve it.”

“What?! Are you mad? Of course you deserve that license Casey. You’re a brilliant doctor. How many people have you helped get on the path to recovery? Get completely better and given them plans to follow and the right medications to make sure they never have to step inside a hospital for the same reason again? If you don’t deserve that license and are such a monster of a doctor... why in God’s name did Dr. Banerji choose you to be the junior fellow? Why has he, along with so many others including me, supported you. Defended you. Time and time again when someone else berated you for making a mistake. One they would have probably made too if they were in your position. You helped save a woman’s life on your first day as an intern, and you hadn’t even gone through your orientation yet. You’re amazing Casey. Those are just a few of the many reasons I-”

Casey sat quietly, keeping her head rested on Rafael’s chest as tears streamed down her cheeks and she choked on quiet sobs. Part of her knew he was right. Everything she had, her second year residency, her place on the diagnostic team. All of it. She had it because of the people she met and impressed during her first year at Edenbrook. She got lost in her thoughts and suddenly inhaled a sharp breath. Rafael shifted, pulling back and looking at her.

“Are you okay?”

“...yeah. I- It’s just. Don’t worry. It’s stupid.”

“Nothing is ever stupid. You can tell me. What’s wrong?”

“Well.. I’ve almost lost you twice now. And I-”

He sighed deeply and pulled her back into his chest, wrapping his arms round her tightly, resting his chin on her head as he closed his eyes. Pushing back the tears that pricked his eyes and threatened to spill out and down his cheek, he give Casey a kiss into her hair.

“Casey?”

“Mhm?” she hummed, enjoying the almost comfortable peace of the moment.

“Shall we go for a walk? The air could do us some good. Plus there are some things we need to talk about, that I’d rather only our ears hear. For now at least.”

Casey shifted and looked up at him, they locked gazes and there was something in his eyes. A look that was similar to longing. She gave him a small smile and nod.

“Okay. Sure.”

He beamed back at her and called out to his grandma. “Vovo?! I’m taking Casey for a walk around the block. We’ll be back soon!”

After a response from his grandma, Rafael grabbed his keys and the rest of his pastry, before leading Casey outside and shutting the door securely behind them.

“Are you sure you didn’t want anything? I could go back in quickly and grab you something.”

“No thank you. I’m okay.”

With an indifferent shrug, he stuffed his keys in his pocket as he walked down the path with Casey following behind before they walked side by side. For the first few moments, they walked in a companionable silence. After that they got lost in conversation, it was mainly Casey listening to Rafael tell more childhood stories of his and pointing out places that held special meaning to him.

As they turned into the park, Rafael pointed to a tree.

“Let’s go and sit down for a bit.”

“Why under a tree when there’s a perfectly good bench there?” Casey giggled

“Why on a bench in the sun, when you can sit under a tree in the shade and stay cool?”

“Touché.”

They made their way over to the tree and sat at it’s base next to each other. He smiled as Casey automatically rested her head on his shoulder.

“Heavy head?”

“You have an idea of what this feels like? I feel like I...”

“Have a bowling ball for a head?”

They looked at each other and laughed as Casey nodded.

“Exactly that.”

Rafael smiled at her and they stared into the distance for a while before he cleared his throat. Casey turned to him with a soft smile.

“Are you okay? I haven’t asked you that for a while. How are you coping?”

“I’d say pretty well, all things considered.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, yes I almost died. Sora broke things off. We lost friends. But... I’m doing good.”

“How about your grandma? Is she okay?”

“She’s thankful that I’m alive. But really? She’s just happy she can embarrass me longer.”

The two shared a chuckle at that. Then Raf’s face turned almost serious, yet it was still relaxed as he looked Casey in the eyes. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in his intense gaze and the way his eyes flicked to her lips. The energy between them became charged and Casey gave a small smile as she blushed lightly.

“You know. This isn’t just any tree. It’s the one I claimed would be where I start a part of my life I’m sure about.”

“That seems.. pretty cryptic Raf.”

“I suppose it does. What I mean is. When I was younger. I told myself when I find the person I believe is THE one. My true love. I’d bring them here, to this spot and we’d... well. Why don’t I just show you.”

He leaned in towards her, Casey’s heart starting to beat in her chest so hard she swore it was about to fly out as he cupped the back of her head and closed his eyes bringing his lips to her own. She felt her eyes close slowly as she started kissing his back. But this wasn’t a hot kiss. This was like one of those kisses in the movies. It was slow, patient, full of love and care. As he pulled away from the kiss, Casey opened her eyes slowly, looking up at him to see that he was blushing too.

“Wow.” She whispered, in complete awe.

“Yeah. Wow.” He agreed as he bit his lip, looking down shyly.

Casey pecked his cheek. “By the way.. whatever it was you ate a little while ago. It’s delicious.”

Raf chuckled at her comment shaking his head. Amusement dancing in his eyes.

“I just kissed you and you give my grandma the compliment.” He retorted with a playful and innocent smirk.

“Oh the kiss was great. Twelve out of ten, would 100% do it again.”

“You would?”

“For the rest of my life, Aveiro.”

“That’s a bold claim, Valentine.”

“You like it.”

“I can’t say that you’re wrong.”

“That’s because I’m not.” She said with a cocky grin. Rafael smiled at her before leaning in to share another kiss.

They stayed under that tree until the sun started to set, when they stood up Raf held out his hand with a questioning look. Casey smiled and took it, walking back to his grandma’s house. They talked some more on the way back and when they walked through the front door they were greeted with a delicious smell.

“Something smells good, vovo.” Rafael smiled as the two of them entered the kitchen, and he walked over, giving his grandma a kiss on the cheek.

“I’m making your favourite.” She replied happily. “Will the beautiful Dr. Valentine be joining us?”

Rafael looked at Casey who looked back at him with a shrug.

“I think she needs to get home. Her roommates are probably worried about her.”

The two turned to Casey as a scream escaped her mouth.

“Casey?” Raf questioned, concern in his voice.

“I left my phone here. I have 12 missed calls from Sienna, 5 from Jackie, 3 from Ethan, 8 from Elijah, 10 from Aurora, and... 25 from Bryce?! Oh good Lord there’s 165 messages in the group chat as well...” Casey sat down, looking pale and weak again.

Turning to his grandma, Rafael asked if she could watch over Casey for a minute and headed to the landline phone, dialing the number for Casey’s apartment. A frantic Elijah picked up.

“Rafael! Have you seen Ca-”

“Elijah! Calm down. Casey’s fine. She’s been with me pretty much all day. We’ve been in the park and she left her phone behind. She wasn’t ignoring you all intentionally. We were just spending some quality time together.” He explained, hearing a collective sigh of relief from people on the other end of the line as Elijah told them Casey’s fine.

“Quality time?”

“Yeah. We um.. We were enjoying each other’s company without the presence of phones.”

“Ahhhh. I see. Aveiro was making moves at last.”

“I was not. I merely... showed her around my neighborhood and sat in a park with her.” He retorted trying to throw Elijah off the trail.

“Uh-huh. We all know what happens in parks buddy.” Elijah teased.

“You guys are insufferable!” Raf exclaimed with a small laugh.

“Rafael honey. Dinner is almost ready. Come and set the table.” His grandma called from the kitchen

“Look. I’ve gotta go. But Casey’s safe. She’s okay. And if she doesn’t come home to night, she’ll be here. So stop worrying.”

“Mmm-hm. Have fun Raf.” Elijah commented slyly and then hung up. Rafael set the phone down and walked back into the kitchen looking a little dazed.

“Are you okay?” Casey asked

“I’m fine. Our friends are just very dirty minded and think we were doing unspeakable things in the park.”

“Oh no. Not their minds wandering again!”

“Yup.”

Casey groaned and hit her head on the table by accident as she sagged down.

“Ouch.” She said with a laugh, rubbing the spot where she hit.

That night Casey stayed and enjoyed a lovely meal with Raf and his grandma. It was dark by the time they had finished and cleared everything away. Casey asked if she could stay the night, not wanting to go out in the dark and home by herself. Deep down, the truth was that she didn’t want to go home to the apartment, and have to face another night of sleeping alone in silence, when the voices struck the most in the deafening silence of night. She showered and put on her last pair of clean pyjamas and laid down next to Rafael in his bed.

“I’ll try to make it to the couch before I fall asleep. I promise.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” he mumbled, turning onto his side, wrapping one of his muscular arms around her waist, pulling her close.

“I don’t think your grandma would be pleased if she found me here come the morning.”

“She’s nicer than that. She wouldn’t whoop my ass you know.”

“I know. She seems really lovely, but I wouldn’t want to get you in any type of trouble.”

“You know. Somehow I don’t think you could. Vovo loves you. I love you. An-”

Raf froze blushing as he realized he just said those three words. And so naturally too. Casey smiled at him softly and played with his hair.

“You don’t have to say it back.” He defended. “You can say it when you’re ready.”

“And what if I’m ready now?”

“Then... I wouldn’t stop you but, don’t feel like you have to say it just because.”

Casey chuckled at his cuteness and pulled his head to her chest, hugging him tightly.

“I love you too Raf. I think I have since that first time I saw you.”

“The feeling is very much mutual.”

They chuckled and settled down together, looking through all of Rafael’s old school books until they fell asleep, heads resting on each other. When His grandma came in to tell him to turn his light off, she smiled at the scene of books in front of them as Rafael snored softly, still loosely holding a book. She carefully moved the books, but still managed to stir them awake.

“Vovo. We weren’t-”

“Shh, it’s alright my boy. Just go back to sleep.”

“I should go to the-” Casey started speaking quietly

“No, no. I don’t wish for you to stumble.”

Casey laid back down and Raf wrapped his arm around her. His grandma tucking them in snuggly and giving her grandson, a kiss on the forehead.

“I have that ring. For when you’re ready.” She whispered in his ear.

He gave a soft smile in response as he fell back into a deep sleep, snoring softly once again.

[aeide-thea]

This is a gentle request for any Geraskier fics you want to rec, because the number of them in the tag is a bit overwhelming but I KNOW there are gems in there 👀

i’m pretty sure i’ve reblogged things in the past! but it’s true that i haven’t done that in any systematic way, so—let’s see. under the cut are 20-ish recs alphabetized by author, which seemed like a good way of avoiding having to make any hierarchical declarations:

o, empathy by almostnectarine/@nectarine-pit: bodyswap! i forgot how much i loved this fic. geralt and jaskier walk a mile in each other’s shoes, and learn to appreciate each other better; this is keenly observed and thought-through, and frequently extremely funny. a thoroughgoing delight.

Jaskier pulled a face and swiveled the straps such that both swords almost fell from their scabbards at once, ruining the moment. “Geralt,” he said, “this leather itches. You’ve lived five lifetimes—” “Not that old,” said Geralt, in protest, and then, considering: “Maybe three.” “—and you never once thought, hm— oh, I see why you do that all the time, it is quite fun, isn’t it— hm, maybe I’ll add a little padding?!” His mimicry of Geralt’s tone was very good, although perhaps it was cheating, when the voice was already the same.

public displays of affection by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: geralt and jaskier go to a sex party! (not to be confused with the other fic by sospes in which geralt and jaskier go to a sex party, which is also excellent.) if that wasn’t enough of a sell, well, you confuse me, but—the flavor of the power dynamic here is a little complex and unusual in a way i enjoyed, plus frankly the description of geralt stripped down for this party is really, uh. really A Lot. i admit to being biased in favor of sex party stories in general but this one is definitely a keeper.

to you always, also by autoschediastic/@bluesoaring: in which geralt is a demanding, insatiable bottom. ...honestly, this fic has significantly more emotional weight to it than that description might suggest, but i still stand by it. also the initial setup is just really funny to me, because jaskier getting hilariously outraged by geralt’s sheer infuriating geralt-ness is, like, my fave flavor of jaskier. (that’s a lie, every flavor of jaskier is my favorite flavor of jaskier, but i do really delight in this one.)

@blossomsinthemist’s mixing memory and desire series (wip) is basically my favorite thing ever, like, just truly perfectly crafted to please me personally. it’s h/c, and just astonishingly luxuriant and languorous and lovely—or, okay, let me actually just quote a comment i left on an early chapter:

this is just so exquisitely tender and molasses-lovely-sweet so far, my god the glimpses we get dimly through geralt’s hazy bemused perception of what jaskier’s feeling are so heart-clenchingly poignant—and then of course the glimpses of what geralt himself is feeling for jaskier without understanding it, this stunned rapt gratitude for everything jaskier is doing but also everything jaskier is, the lovely gentle sturdy solicitous gift he is & keeps making of himself to geralt, who would probably call it undeserved except that of course we can see precisely what in geralt has tugged this tenderness from jaskier, this terrible aching wounded gallantry that’s so astonished to meet with respite…

the meet death sitting (wip) series by @bomberqueen17 is my other favorite thing—much plottier than the previous, with a much wider cast of characters, and while i’m ultimately in it for the geralt/jaskier and therefore being strung along in exquisite agony while all sorts of plot things get in the way of any real resolution of that, it’s honestly worth it; what you lose in immediate gratification you gain in, like, a sense that this story inhabits a real, full world, with real events that aren’t just arranged to suit our heroes’ convenience. if i could only get you to read two things it would be this series and the previous one: between them they have my heart. anyway i guess i may as well quote myself again:

it’s the rich realistic interweaving of things that’s so remarkable here, how the absolute throat-thickening aches run abruptly up against the entirely mundane and all of it has to be coped with, because that’s life, and this story has life within it, in a realer way than probably anything else in the fandom, maybe anything else i’ve read in a long time. and of course a large part of me is so, so desperate for geralt and jaskier to finally come back together, with enough time and space to settle into a mutual secure tenderness instead of the current wordless, longing, poised-always-to-spring-away-like-deer-in-a-forest situation; but the story is coaxing me into a more adult patience, an appreciation for the smaller quieter incidental pleasures that aren’t the one subsuming great love, and then also teaching me to live with the wounds one inevitably acquired along the way, the pull and ache of those that makes the whole thing real, not a shining fantasy but a homely pie with a rich satisfying filling, savory and bolstering.

my body bruises at your touch by @brawlite: jaskier gets tied up by geralt as bait for the monster of the week, and discovers he likes it quite a bit. smut (and then aftercare) ensues.

demand an encore (wip) by emamel/@theaceace: jaskier is a witcher of the viper school, or used to be. he doesn’t remember it, but geralt does.

it’s been a while since i read this, but the way the layers slowly start fitting together is really satisfying: all the joy of what i think the kids call ‘identity porn,’ with the twist that here, it’s geralt who knows both identities, and jaskier who’s still in ignorance. ugh, i want chapter 3 now.

musica universalis by flirtygaybrit is bookverse and clearly so—it’s not romantic, but there’s a particular ambiguous flavor of solicitous tenderness that elevates this ‘friendly drunken hookup’ scenario to something memorable for me.

of cherries and dandelions by heyriel: in which a still-virginal jaskier bites off more than he can chew, and tries to disguise it until he can’t anymore. as i said to the author:

this is lovely and realistic in its navigation of, like, trying to Be Cool and the ways that can sometimes get you in trouble as a young sexplorer—geralt is so good to jaskier here and i’m having feelings about it!

also geralt uses a dildo on jaskier, which was not a thing i’d known i wanted before reading this, but it turns out i’m very decidedly here for it! i haven’t seen a ton of sex toys in geraskier fic and this story makes me wish there were more.

gentle-sharp and strange by lisztful has some excellent touch-starved pining geralt, also a performatively public bath scene with very satisfactory sexual tension, also an Ancient Tradition which is maybe the thing i remember most about this fic.

i know that you would want it (if i could sink my teeth into you) by objectlesson is... look, there’s an actual emotional arc to this story, but really what i always remember about it is that it’s got the most overwhelmingly visceral rimming scene i’ve maybe ever read? it’s a lot, it’s a gift, go read it.

@pasdecoeur has several stories that are very funny with some very piercingly erotic moments! briefly sketched in some ways and more pining than porny but no less effective for it.

benefits by @shastafirecracker is a pwp story in which jaskier is first surprised to find geralt wants him to top, and then determined to give geralt the best dicking he’s ever had. jaskier’s inner dialogue in this one is really fun; geralt’s exterior dialogue is true to the show in that it’s minimal but nonetheless includes a bad pun. :)

even a small love by shecrows/@leighway is like. you think you know how things are going to go, and then jaskier balks and it abruptly swerves sideways and develops a whole plot, and then comes back around to where it started, but deeper and better. don’t you love how you can summarize a fic without saying anything meaningful or even helpful about it? anyway: read this one.

snowmelt by silklace/@silkcoeur is a/b/o and somehow both extremely hilarious and extremely hot in full measure. the banter is a fucking delight but so are the tension/sex/feelings.

It wasn’t until they were well on the road away from town that it really hit him, though possibly he should have been paying attention to the way the backs of his knees had started sweating the minute he’d seen Geralt walking towards him outside of Yennefer’s manor, or to the way his throat had gone hot and dry despite the taste of sweetness still on the back of his teeth from the wine skin he’d pilfered from her pantry on his way out. In his defense, he’d still been recovering from spending the prior evening steadfastly spitting his insides up onto his outsides. Also, he tended to always get a little sweaty around Geralt, a fact they were both apparently extremely united in assiduously pretending was not happening.

the sevenfold path by star_flaming/@europeansdomusicalsbetter: in which jaskier is demonstrably extremely well educated, and geralt has feelings about it. (i also have feelings about it, but mine are in my pants.)

you are in my blood by @suzukiblu​: au where jaskier is a bruxa. this alters his character significantly—hard to be too skittish about bloodletting when you’re a vampire!—but the story’s so engaging you probably won’t care? plus, uh, hot. :)

Jaskier’s just debating how much trouble he’s actually in when Geralt, marvelously, talks them out of it. After that, well... Jaskier still wants to eat him very badly, but he supposes it’d be a bit ungrateful of him. Geralt isn’t very impressed with the song he writes for him, unfortunately—which, rude—but doesn’t try to run off and leave him either, so.. Well, Jaskier’s a bit smitten. A delicious-smelling witcher who can talk his way out of being murdered is very impressive. And he always has wanted a pet.

taran (@iamtaran)’s manhandling without plot series has no sex but lots of violent, compellingly visceral hijinks and i like to think of it as preslash. three times geralt hauls jaskier out of trouble.

Jaskier is flat on his back with his chemise rucked up to his armpits, salve burning on his bruised ribs, breathing hard; he is drunk, but not nearly as drunk as he was when he threw that first punch; Geralt is stupidly strong and has him pinned beneath one hand and the sheer girth of his own hips, looking grumpy and short on patience, and under everything—the aromatic menthol and chamomile smell of the salve, the aching of his cheek and lip, the relief of seeing Geralt just as upright and uninjured as he had been when he left, Jaskier is… He had thought he was furious. He still is, somewhat. Like… like a seed is a flower. It was, at first, before it became something else. And given enough time it might become such again. It is what it is in the meantime, however. Fury. Seeds.

last but not least, @toyhto​ has a bunch of fics that crack me the fuck up: geralt is unbelievably oblivious to his own emotions even as he acts on them, and it’s just—it’s so, so funny. also sometimes quite sweet, and sometimes quite painful! there’s a particular air of, i don’t know, almost see-spot-run impenetrability to the writing here that lends itself perfectly to the thing the stories are doing, where geralt is just operating totally on a surface level and, like, feelings are moving in the deep but he can’t quite see them...

...and that’s all for now! more to come later, maybe; but this seems like plenty for a first pass, and anyway i’m blurbed out.

[bluehairedbanshee]

New Girl Poe Dameron x Reader

Title is still WIP, I know it’s cringey please bear with me. Content warning, talk of ptsd and abuse later in the story. I’ve had this idea in my head for a while and wanted to write it., and posting them gives me motivation to actually finish writing. Words: 1346 Pairing: Poe/FemReader

Poe left the medbay in a hurry, needing to talk to Leia to give her updates after being out on a mission for an entire month. His frustration was already high after practically being drug out of his X-Wing to see medical attention, even after he said multiple times that he didn’t need to, the cut on his jaw looked worse than it was. Ten stitches later, he was practically sprinting to find the general.

“Have you seen BB8?” Poe grabbed Finn’s arm, almost making him drop his datapad, asking him quickly.

“Nice to see you too, I’ve been great this past month thanks for ask-” Poe cut him off before he could finish his sarcastic statement.

“Where’s my damn droid?” He asked again, patience wearing thin. Finn let out a sigh.

“He’s in tech room four, with the new girl.” He answered.

“New girl?” Poe asked

“Yeah she came here a little after you left.”

“She hasn’t even been here an entire month and they’re already trusting her with my droid?” Poe growled out, storming off to the before mentioned tech room, ignoring anyone who said hello to him.

“What are you doing to my BB unit?” Poe said before he fully walked into the threshold.

The girl jumped, dropping the screwdriver that was in her gloved hand to the floor. She looked up after picking it up and setting it on the desk with shaky hands. She pushed her long dark hair out of her face and turned to look at Poe. His eyebrows raised, Finn forgot to mention how heartbreakingly beautiful the new girl was. Long eyelashes framed Y/E/C eyes, heart shaped lips parted to respond to his question. She wore a navy button up shirt over a black turtleneck with blue jeans.

“I’m backing up his data and running a diagnostic.” She said in a quiet, shaky voice, not yet recovered from Poe unintentionally scaring her.

“When will it be done? He has data that needs to be shown to General Organa immediately.” Poe asked in the most level tone he's spoken in all day. She looked at the screen in front of her, watching the bar move before pulling the wire from BB8’s port. “It’s finished now.” She responded. BB8 chimed from the floor.

“I didn’t get to introduce myself, I’m Poe Dameron.” He said with his award winning smile. She looked away after meeting his gaze momentarily.

“I’m Y/N Ryn. You can leave now Commander Dameron, you said earlier that you needed to speak with General Organa.” She said before moving her chair directly in front of the screen.

In taking in the new girl’s beauty, Poe completely forgot about having to talk with Leia.

Poe let out a groan as he was woken up from his neighbor screaming, as soon as the fog caused by sleep cleared from his mind, he jumped up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants that were laid over the chair in his room and bolted out of his door. Just in the short time period it took Poe to go next door, the screaming had stopped, but he knocked anyway, just in case. He heard rustling come from the small room before the door slowly opened, revealing the new girl he met earlier that day. She was wearing a black turtleneck that looked like she had just thrown it over her pajamas, telling by the tshirt that spilled out from the bottom of the turtleneck. The sleeves of the shirt were pulled over her hands, only her fingertips poking out. From this close up, Poe could see the details of her face he couldn’t see in the tech room. The biggest one being the impossibly dark circles under her eyes, then it was her closed off stance, her arms wrapped around herself tightly and refusing to make eye contact.

“Commander Dameron? Oh my stars I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” Y/n asked.

“No, don’t apologize, it's fine, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He said. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“I did, I’m sorry I’ll try-” She started but Poe cut her off.

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked.

“Commander Dameron-”

“Call me Poe.”

“-I appreciate you coming to check on me. Have a good rest of your night. I hope you fall back to sleep quickly and I didn’t cost you too much rest.” She said quietly before shutting the door.

Poe did lose sleep, trying to figure out the mystery that was the new girl, Y/N Ryn.

“I don’t know how the hell Leia knew the information I gained from the mission before I was able to tell her.” Poe said, pushing his food around his plate in frustration knowing he risked his life for information Leia somehow, already got before he came home.

“I heard Leia talking about a new informant. Maybe they gave the information to her.” Rey responded

“It sucks that you went out there for nothing though.” Finn added. Poe shrugged, he knew he didn’t go there for nothing per se, he just felt unneeded. Something Poe rarely felt.

Poe noticed almost immediately of Y/n Ryn walking into the mess hall, she never left his mind and it was starting to drive him crazy. He felt like he came back from a mission to a whole new galaxy, when in reality he was only aware that one thing had changed while he was gone, Y/n joined the resistance. He watched as she grabbed her serving and then left the mess hall. Today she was wearing black jeans, a burgundy button up, and of course, a turtleneck and gloves.

“I’ll be back in a second guys.” Poe said before walking out and following Y/n. He didn’t have to follow her far, as she only walked to the edge of the forest before sitting down.

“Hey-” She jumped before staring at him with wide eyes. “-I didn’t mean to scare you I’m sorry- Do you want to sit with my friends and I to eat?” He asked, getting nostalgia from when he was in primary school.

“Thank you for the offer Commander Dameron, but I am okay.” She responded.

“Are you sure? I would hate for you to have to sit alone just because you just got here.” Poe asked.

“I’m not out here because I don’t have any friends, if that's what you’re implying. The mess hall is just too loud and crowded. I also haven’t ‘just got here’, I’ve been here for a month.” She said. “Thank you, but I prefer to be alone.” She added, and Poe turned around and returned to the mess hall without another word.

“New girl rejected you?” Finn asked as soon as Poe sat down.

“What’s with your new fascination with her?” Rey asked.

“What do you know about my ‘fascination’ with the new girl?” Poe asked, putting air quotes around the word.

“You’ve stared at her every time she’s entered a room for the past four days.” Rey responded.

“She lives in the room next to mine and she’s woken up screaming almost every night. The first night I actually went and checked on her and she just dismissed me. I don’t know, there’s just-”

“Something about her?” Finn finished for him, pointing out the cliche in his statement.

“You’re coming on too strong.” Rey told him. “She doesn’t know you, at all. Give her space.” Poe looked at the table, nodding.

“Rey’s right. You’re probably freaking her out.” Finn added. “Anyway, how’s your training going Rey?” He changed the subject, prompting Poe to zone out.

You weren’t like anyone he met, he could already see that, and he wanted to know what made you so different. Why you covered your skin, why were you so guarded, what you had nightmares about, did you two share nightmares?

He shook his head as a voice in his head told him it was none of his business, you weren’t his to figure out in the first place.

[simmonsofshield]

The Last Thing

Pairings: Y/N Stacy & Peter Parker

Summary: Peter is not dealing with his friend’s death very well. Loosely based on true and personal events.

Words: ~2900

Warnings: Mentions of death. Yelling. Blaming.

A/N:  AU, Peter and Gwen are friends. Y/N is Gwen’s older sister. Gwen is an Avenger and has been in all the fights instead of Peter. This is for @jbbarnesnnoble​​‘s mental health awareness challenge. I chose “How do you even begin to move on?” It won’t be a quote, but it’ll be in bold. Takes place after Endgame.

Dear Peter,

I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’ve never been known to anyways. If you’re reading this, that means I’m either dead or in some sort of close-to-death coma, probably the former.

I’m writing this the day before I leave for Berlin. Sorry I didn’t tell you about it but Tony Stark came to me so I’m assuming it has to stay on the DL. Yeah, you read that right. Tony freaking Stark! He hasn’t told me much but I’m assuming some sort of drama with the Accords. Why he came to me and not you, I’m not sure. Maybe just because I go out more and there’s more youtube videos of me than you. Or maybe he didn’t want the “friendly neighborhood Spiderman.” He wanted someone tougher. Haha just kidding.

Anywho... back to the reason for this letter. I want you to take my place. Queens still needs someone to take care of it, and since I’m no longer around, it’s gotta be you. We were both in that lab and got bit by those radioactive spiders. Who thought making spiders radioactive was a good idea anyways? We went through all the weird hardships with these new powers together and managed without anyone finding out….except my sister. (and apparently Tony Stark.)

Speaking of Y/N, I’m putting her in your care. You are now responsible for her. I’m only kind of sorry. She’s the only one that knows about this letter.

Hopefully you don’t have to read this immediately following this impromptu trip to Berlin, or at all in 2016. Or, you know, ever. Hopefully I can grow old and retire SpiderGwen. Wait, those are two different things, let me rephrase that: hopefully I can stop saving the day around 25 and then retire when I’m old and wrinkly and burn this letter so you never have to even know it existed.

If you are reading this and made it this far, I want you to know that I believe in you. It is hard being a hero. Sometimes  you have to make tough decisions, but you’re a smart guy. I know you will be great. Better than me, probably.

You’re the best basically-brother I could ever ask for. Spiderman is destined for great things. I know it.

Gwen

Present day, May 2023

When it first happened - when half the universe was brought back - Y/N came looking for Peter immediately. After that first weird day back to school, she found him..and that was weird too. She used to only be one year older than him and Gwen, and now she was clearly 6 years older than him. She’d asked if he’d seen her in class, and he said no. She covered her mouth and started crying right there. It confused him at the time, but in hindsight, he realized she knew at that moment that Gwen was dead. Her family got the call from Nick Fury himself that night.

Besides the big bad, Thanos he thinks, there were only two casualties. “Only” two on the heroes side, when there’s usually zero. They were Gwen and Tony Stark. So not only did Peter lose his best friend, he lost his idol as well, and even though he never got to meet him, it still hurts. A little. He died bringing back the half of humanity that was blipped, a truly heroic act, but Gwen died so that that could happen. She’s hardly ever mentioned in news reports or anything.

It’s been almost two months. TWO.

Peter read the letter again. He did almost once a day. The fold creases were already very worn and the page had been stained with tears many times over. He still just couldn’t believe she was actually gone. Being brought back after getting blipped was enough to deal with but now his closest friend was dead. What was the most frustrating was that he didn’t know how. He wasn’t allowed to. SHIELD classified it and only the immediate family could know. You hadn’t told him everything, but you did say something about her getting caught in some crossfire. That’s all you were allowed to say.

He sat in the stairwell of his and Aunt May’s Queens apartment while he waited for you to arrive. He was zoned out thinking and didn’t even hear you come up the stairs.

“Peter?” he snapped back to reality and looked at you, eyes sad, “you ready?”

He nodded and stood up, shoving his hands in his shorts pockets. He trudged down the stairs and met you at the landing, then walking side by side down the rest to ground level. Exiting the complex, you put your arm around his shoulders walking the already too familiar route. What had happened was still fresh and you two had decided to visit Gwen’s grave once a week, tell her what had been going on, if anything.

The first few times were okay, but recently, Peter hadn’t been saying anything. He just kneels in front of her grave, head down, and cries. You really felt for the kid, you did. His parents died when he was 6, his uncle Ben 3 years ago (since he was blipped), and now his best friend-basically-sister. He’s only 16 and has dealt with more death than anyone at that age should. How do you even begin to move on? The gaps are big, but that doesn’t make any of them hurt less. Especially when they’re all family.

After a few minutes of silent sobs, you place your hand on his shoulder. He stands up and steps aside, so you can have your time. You look at him and give him a soft smile of thanks. He looks at you for a millisecond before looking back at the ground, wiping away stray tears.

You approach her gravestone, putting your hand on it, brushing your fingers along it and tracing the letters of her name. You speak softly, as if just to her. “Gwenny, I need help. Your help. This has been hard on Peter. You were his best friend and now he just seems like a lost puppy without you around. I know he has Ned and MJ, but a big chunk of him is missing without you here,” you cough out a sob, “I just want the old Petey back. I don’t expect it tomorrow, or next week, or even next month, but I need it. I want some sort of normalcy back in my life,” your next sob comes out with a little bit of a laugh, “look at me, talking to a grave like I’m talking to an actual human. You’d totally give me crap for this.” you sigh, “It’s just-- being six years older than him now instead of just one makes it hard. We’re in such different places in our lives. He just finished his freshman year of high school, and I’m in college now...” you trail off, forgetting where you were going with it. Standing up, you give one last tap to the gravestone. “Bring him back. Oh-” You dig in your purse and pull out a charm bracelet. You crouch back down and lay it right next to the base where the grass is a little bit taller. You wear an identical one. “Mom and dad are doing fine..well, as well as you could expect. There are some rough nights, but we’re managing.”

Emotions were still running high at home. You’d lost your sister, and your parents, their youngest child. There was a lot of fighting and blaming, despite heroism being Gwen’s choice. She’d told you once that she’d been given the powers for a reason. If bad things happened and she did nothing, it was basically her fault. You never really agreed with the sentiment, but she insisted and went on helping out the people of Queens, eventually roping Peter into it.

A lot of the time the blame fell on you, your father wondering why you weren’t with Gwen and Peter the day they got bit. You take it, as it’s his way of mourning and relieving his anger. He’s looking for answers that he’ll never get. Your mom is mostly silent, save for the fights. You two usually end up drinking a bottle or two of wine before tottling off to bed, drowning your sorrows.

The walk back is silent, as usual. You were both mourning and it was always emotionally draining after a visit and hard to make conversation. You’re about 2/3 of the way back before you decide to try. “I, uh, noticed you had the letter in the stairwell.” You feel a shift and see as his hand goes to his pocket. “Pete, why?” You sigh, not in disappointment, mostly in exhaustion but a little bit of curiosity too.

He looks down, an exhale coming from his nose, “It’s the last thing I have of her.”

You let out a soft gasp. That hadn’t even crossed your mind, it was the last physical thing Gwen had touched and given - by way of you - to him. “Oh, Petey.” You run your fingers through his hair a few times before letting your arm rest limply over his shoulders. He pushes it off, stopping in his tracks and looks at you with an expression you don’t recognize. He mumbles something and you stop waking as well, leaning forward a little. “Peter?”

“Tony did this.”

“To-”

“Tony Stark! He’s the one who recruited her. He’s the one that put her on this path.” he paces back and forth in anger. “If it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be a part of the Avengers and she wouldn’t be dead.”

“Peter...” you know what he’s doing. In fact, you went through and did the same thing just a couple weeks ago. “You know he’s not to blame. She’s the one who wanted to help the community, just like you,” you reasoned, “it was only a matter of time before she caught the eye of the Avengers.”

He ignored you, turning on his heels. “I need to talk to him.”

“Y-you can’t. Peter..” you stand there, stunned for a moment, “Peter.” you call out. He doesn’t respond and you quickly move from your place on the sidewalk and jog a little to try to catch up. You forgot how quickly he could walk when he was on a mission. “Peter!”

“What?!” he turns around, fire in his eyes. You actually cower a little, never hearing this tone come out of his mouth before.

“Uhm..” your voice is meek at first as you try to figure out what to say and recover from the surprise his outburst gave you, “you can’t go talk to Tony.”

“And why not?”

“He,” you swallow the lump in your throat, speaking softly not out of fear now, but to bring down the information as delicately as you could, “he died that night too. Remember?”

He blinks and there seems to be a flicker of remembrance and realization. It quickly changes back to anger and he looks you dead in the eyes, pointing. “Then it’s your fault!”

“W-what?”

“Yeah. You’re the one that let her go to Berlin. She would’ve listened to you. If you had told her no, she wouldn’t have gone. It’s your fault!” he continues pointing his finger at you, his voice rising as he talked. You hadn’t even realized you were moving until you were suddenly backed into the wall of a corner store, or maybe a restaurant, you didn’t really take the time to figure out where you were on the street.

You could feel your breath beginning to shallow the more he talked. You had no idea what was going to happen, and with him being enhanced, he was unpredictable. “Peter...” was all you could muster up, hoping just saying his name would somehow take him out of this trance he was in. It didn’t work and if you hadn’t looked down to look away from his face, you wouldn’t have noticed his other hand beginning to ball into a fist. Your eyes widened and you looked back at him, tears threatening to fall. “Peter, please.”

It didn’t phase him. “It’s your fault!” he yells and you see his fist rise and you dodge out of the way in the nick of time, now in a crouched position.

You hear his fist connect with the wall, “Fuck!” Under different circumstances, you’d be surprised and sarcastically scold him because you’ve never heard him swear, ever. At the moment though, you’re now seated against the wall, breathing hard and tears falling silently.

“Y/N?” He crouches down and puts a hand on your shoulder, which you slink away from. At this point, as if it were a movie, mother nature decided it had to rain. All you hear is the soft pattering of the rain on the sidewalk for a moment before you hear some soft whimpering. You look around, and see a few feet from you, Peter sitting and hugging his knees, head down.  

You stand up, and walk over to him, not announcing your presence in any way, and sit next to him. Taking his hand in yours, you begin inspecting his knuckles. “You’re lucky you have super strength. Otherwise that wall would have done a number on your hand. More than just some scratches and it looks like probably some bruising.” The only reply you get is some breathy sobs. “Okay,” keeping his hand in yours, you stand up and urge him up too, “let’s get you home.”

He doesn’t argue and slowly begins to walk home, with your aid. Your arm is once again around his shoulders and he doesn’t push it away this time. The whole walk back is silent, as expected. The both of you now more tired than before, physically and emotionally.

When you arrive back at Peter’s apartment, you enter, May leaving it unlocked. She’s on the couch watching tv. She turns around with a smile to greet you guys, but it quickly turns to a frown when she sees the state the two of you are in. You see her mouth open about to ask a question and you shake your head. She closes it and stands, walking over to Peter’s bedroom door and opening it for the two of you. You nod a thank you and walk in.

Peter still seems to be in a daze when you sit him down at his desk. You scan his room looking for a towel, seeing clothes and books strewn about, assuming he ‘lost’ his backpack again. “Well, I see you have a project for tomorrow,” you try to joke, despite the fact that you began picking up his clothes and putting them in the hamper in his closet. You hear a soft hmm? and look over at him. He’s looking at you, eyes red but only a little puffy.

You finally find his bath towel, halfway under his bed. Picking it up, you shake it a couple times to get any dust bunnies off and walk over to him. You can feel his eyes on you as you dry the rain off his arms and legs, but you continue. You dab off his neck and rub his hair a few times, getting as much off as you can before moving to his face. He jerks away and wipes his forehead with his arm before looking at you, as if studying you. You sit back a little, unsure, wondering what he’s going to do.

He takes a deep breath like he’s trying to gather the courage to speak to you. It takes a couple more seconds before he does. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh Peter,” you coo softly, “it’s okay.”

He slaps his hand on his desk, “No it’s not!” seeing you jump, he realized what he did, “s-sorry.” he says barely above a whisper.

“It’s not,” you agree, “but you’re mourning. I’m going through the same thing at home. You know this. I can take a few angry words.”

“But I blamed you, tried to hurt you.”

You nod, “I will admit I was a little scared when you tried to hit me,” he looks down, scared to make eye contact, “but,” you use your finger to lift his chin, “I got out of the way and you didn’t. Guess I gotta thank Gwen for taking me to some of those self defense classes so I could help her train.” You say the last part with a smile.

For what you’re pretty sure is the first time that night, Peter smiles too. You use your hand and wipe away the remaining tears on his face. “There he is.”

You get up on your knees, about to stand up, when he pulls you into a hug. You let out at squeak of surprise but quickly melt into it. Then, you suddenly begin to cry.

“Y/N?” he doesn’t pull out of the hug but you can hear the concern in his voice.

You sniffle and wipe away your tears, letting out a kind of cry-laugh. “I’m just glad, that at least for tonight, you’re back to the Peter that I know. I’ve missed your smile.” You feel him hug you a little tighter.

For Avory

[callboxkat]

Infinitesimal (part 53)

Author’s note: Have some more quarantine reading! I hope all of you are staying safe and healthy. 

Warnings: injuries, illness, fear/nervousness, food mention

Word count: 4206

Infinitesimal Masterpost!

...

The apartment door swung open with a click. Shopping bags rustled, crinkling and bumping together as they were carried inside. Most of the bags were held by one of the two young men who stepped inside the apartment. Roman always insisted that he could bring everything up in one trip, no matter how many bags’ worth of goods they purchased. It had been amusing for Logan to watch his attempt at the previous year’s Thanksgiving, when they had hosted a dinner for their college friends. Logan had had to step in to save the turkey from toppling down the staircase.

“See? I’ve got it.”

“I’m aware you can carry a frankly ridiculous amount of groceries. I’m simply unsure if it is wise to do so, given your recent bout of asthma.”

“Nonsense! I’m healthy as a noble knight’s steed!”

“…Regardless, you should be careful.”

“Well, you could have taken more bags.”

“Unlike you, I have no irrational need to prove myself by carrying two trips’ worth of groceries at once.”

“But I only had to take the stairs once!” Roman pointed out, grinning his winning smile as he struggled to disentangle the various handles that adorned his arms. “Isn’t that better for my asthmatic lungs?”

Logan sighed, watching Roman struggle to set down his burden of grocery bags. A few cans clacked together as they collided with the counter.

“I do hope you’ll be careful with that one. The bagger really should have double bagged it, or used one of my reusable bags. This is why I prefer the self-checkout lanes.”

“Because you’re a control freak?” Roman set down the rest of his cargo and let out a relieved sigh.

Logan was already pulling out items and putting them away in the cabinets. “If wanting to ensure that our groceries make it back to the apartment without the bags splitting is being a control freak, then I suppose I am.”

Roman cackled, rubbing at the red marks where the plastic bags had bitten into his skin. “He admits it!”

“Are you going to help me put these away or not?”

“Sure, sure. Move over so I can reach the fridge.”

Logan moved aside. Roman helped put things away, but once most of the frozen goods were put away, Roman tried to sneak off, insisting on, quote, “saying hi to our little friends”.

“Not so fast,” said Logan, grabbing his wrist, not about to let his roommate skip out and leave him to put everything else away on his own. “You can greet them when we’re done here.”

…

Where was Patton?

He’d been gone for hours. Yes, a trip to the fourth floor and back would take some time; and, sure, he hadn’t been gone much longer than should be expected for a trip there and back, considering the fact that he needed more breaks than Emile or himself; but Virgil was getting worried. What if something had gone wrong? What if he’d overexerted himself, or gotten hurt somehow?

Virgil shouldn’t have let him go alone.

Maybe he was worried over nothing, but Virgil’s past experiences made him reluctant to brush off his worries. Emile’s current condition was a testament to that.

It only made him worry more, that the humans had beaten Patton back. They hadn’t come into the room where they were yet, but Virgil had wanted his friend back well before the humans returned. He was tempted to go and look for him, to make sure he was okay, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t leave Emile here alone.

So, all he could do was uselessly pace back and forth, between his brother and the edge of the table, and hope that Patton was okay.

“You’re going to wear a groove into the table,” Emile commented, watching him.

“Not my table, not my problem,” Virgil retorted. He reached the edge of the table once more, looked down for a second, searching for any sign of Patton, and failing to see any, started back towards Emile.

His brother watched him approach. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

Virgil shook his head. “You don’t know.”

Emile opened his mouth to reply; but Virgil froze, hearing a sound from behind him, in the direction of the base of the wall. He spun around and hurried over, swinging his crutches in a wide arc to get there as fast as possible.

The door into the wall was open. As Virgil watched, apprehensive, Patton poked his head out. He looked up, found Virgil, and waved, smiling. He was perfectly fine. Virgil let out a heavy sigh of relief.

“Is he there?” Emile asked.

“Yeah,” Virgil said. “Yeah, he’s there.”

“And he’s okay?”

“As far as I can tell, yeah, he’s fine.”

Emile breathed a soft breath, one that Virgil just barely heard. Apparently he hadn’t been as sure of Patton’s well-being as he let on. “Good.”

Virgil glanced back at Emile, who was watching him from his bed, then turned back to look over the edge of the table. Patton had emerged from the wall, carrying….

“What’s that?” Virgil asked aloud, watching as Patton closed the door.

“He did say he was going to get something,” Emile said, with the air of someone who knew exactly what Virgil was talking about. Virgil frowned, perplexed.

Patton, had something large strapped to his back, long enough to reach a couple of inches over his head. Whatever it was was wrapped up in tissue paper, obscuring it from view. Was it fragile? Or did he—and Emile, it seemed—just not want Virgil to know what it was? Were they keeping some kind of secret from him?

Patton came up to the table leg and smiled up at Virgil again, as if to reassure him that he was fine. He looked tired, though, pausing with one hand against the table, clearly intending to take a break before he climbed up to meet them. Virgil wanted to call down to him, but he wasn’t absolutely sure he couldn’t do so without the humans hearing. They seemed to be busy with whatever they were doing, and making plenty of noise; but Virgil wasn’t taking any risks with Patton down on the floor. It didn’t seem likely, at this point, that the humans would be angry simply because of that, but Virgil couldn’t know for sure, and accidents were always a possibility.

He watched apprehensively, looking between Patton and the doorway where the humans could appear at any minute, until Patton seemed to decide he was ready to climb up to meet them.

Virgil pulled him up over the table’s edge, and Patton lay there panting for a moment.

“How’d it go?” Emile asked when Patton had recovered.

Patton  shifted to a crouch, starting to untie the load from his back. “Great!” he said. “Sorry it took a while. I didn’t mean to be gone so long.”

“No—no, you’re fine,” Virgil said. “I’m just glad you’re okay. What did you even get, anyway?” He eyed the parcel, unsure what it could possibly be.

“You’ll see!” Patton said brightly. “Come over here.” He picked up the tissue-wrapped thing, which Virgil realized must have been at least two things, judging by how they shifted, and walked over to Emile. Virgil, growing ever more confused, followed after.

Patton sat down at Emile’s side and gestured for Virgil to do the same.

Virgil glanced between them, then slowly sat down, setting his crutches to the side. “What’s going on?”

“Come on, Virge, did you really think we’d forget, even with everything going on? I know we’re late—I’m sure you understand why—but we’d never forget.”

“Forget what?”

It was Emile’s and Patton’s turn to look confused. They glanced at each other, than back at Virgil.

“Your birthday,” Emile said.

Virgil blinked.

Wait.

His birthday?

Virgil’s mouth opened, and shut again. Had he forgotten his own birthday?

He thought back, counted up to what day it was.

Oh.

He had forgotten. He’d completely missed it. He’d turned 24, and he hadn’t even noticed. Wouldn’t have noticed for who knew how long, if they hadn’t pointed it out.

Virgil felt his face go red.

“You forgot about it, didn’t you?” Patton said softly.

“It’s… We’ve been busy,” he justified.

“It’s okay,” Emile said, reaching for him. Virgil took his hand. “And I’m sorry we missed the actual day, but… we thought we could still celebrate.”

“Do you want to see?” Patton asked, holding up the package.

“I—yeah, of course, guys; of course I want to see.” He swallowed, feeling a bit teary-eyed. With everything that was going on, they still wanted to celebrate Virgil’s birthday.

“Okay.” Patton reached in and pulled out something small: a folded-up piece of paper. “My present first! Because Em’s is really, really good; and I don’t think I could follow that,” he joked.

Emile looked exasperated.

Virgil let go of Emile’s hand and took the paper from Patton. He held it like it was made out of the thinnest glass as he carefully unfolded it.

It was a drawing. Of him, and Patton, and Emile, all holding hands. They were surrounded by a rainbow of hearts, and beneath was written, “FAMILY”.

A moment passed as Virgil took it in.

Patton shifted, and Virgil suddenly realized that he was nervous—about him not liking the drawing, or about his decision to include himself in their family, Virgil didn’t know, but—

He grabbed Patton and pulled him into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” he said into Patton’s shoulder. “I love it. I really freaking love it, Pat.”

Patton gasped softly, but he held onto Virgil just as tightly. The hug lasted for only a few seconds before he let go.

“You’ve gotta see Em’s,” Patton said, smiling shakily as he gently extricated himself from the hug. “It’s amazing.”

“Now he’ll be expecting the moon, Pat,” Emile joked.

“No, the moon’s way too big! And cold, and far away; and we can get rocks anywhere. Your present’s much better.”

“Okay, okay,” Virgil said, almost laughing. “Let me open it.”

Patton passed him the package, and Virgil carefully unfolded the tissue paper, to reveal… a pair of crutches. They were noticeably different than the ones he normally used, precisely sculpted from wire, fabric, and thin metal rods. They had bands to fit around his forearms, rather than being propped under his underarms, and a handle just below the wrist.

Emile watched as he finished freeing them from the paper. “I thought maybe it was time for an upgrade,” he said. “I saw some like this on a tv show, and they looked a lot easier to handle than the ones you have…. I based the size on myself, and I tried to adjust for your height, but we can always adjust them if we need to. What do you think?”

Virgil silently fitted the bands around his forearms, just below his elbows, and grabbed onto the handles. He pushed himself into a standing position and walked a few steps, his brother and Patton watching. He paused, then walked the other way, going faster. He could already tell he had a much better range of motion than before; and these crutches didn’t pinch uncomfortably under his arms. “Perfect,” he said, turning back to Emile. “They’re perfect. How—when did you find the time to make these? How did you hide them from me?”

“I’ve got time. And the same place I hide all your presents,” Emile said. “I can’t give up that secret, can I?”

“But—Em, how long did it take to make these?”

“Not your concern. Happy birthday.”

Virgil adjusted his grip on the handles. “You’re dangerously close to making me hug you,” he warned.

Emile laughed softly. “Rain check?”

“Rain check,” he agreed.

…

Virgil was still trying out his new crutches while Patton and Emile watched fondly (he especially liked stepping up and down off of the box lid, which he could do much more easily now) when they heard a knock at the doorway. Virgil immediately came to a stop, and Patton turned to see Roman standing there, clutching something.

“Good evening!” the human called, smiling warmly at the three of them. “We’re back, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Sorry I didn’t come see you guys sooner—Mister We-Can’t-Let-the-Frozen-Food-Melt-on-the-Counter made me help him put away all the groceries first. But anyway, hello! How are you all?”

“Fine,” Virgil said slowly, standing very stiffly with his new crutches like he thought Roman might take them away.

Patton shyly waved.

“Oh—Look what I’ve got!” Roman said, holding up the flat, rectangular object in his hands. It was mostly red and blue, but Patton couldn’t tell what it was. “We can keep watching it!”

He received three blank looks in the face of his eagerness. “Avatar!” he elaborated. “The Last Airbender. You know, the disk that stopped working?”

Oh! That thing he was holding let them watch the show? Patton sat up straighter. He’d liked Avatar. He’d like to watch some more of it.

Likewise, Emile visibly brightened at the news.

Roman seemed gratified at their reactions, small though they were.

“We can watch it together after dinner, okay?”

Patton glanced between his two friends. “O-okay,” he agreed.

…

Logan stirred the spoon through the pot of macaroni noodles, making sure that none stuck to the sides or bottom of the pot. Roman stood at his side, watching.

“Oh, so guess what?” Roman said after a few minutes, sighing dramatically and leaning against the counter.

“What?” Logan asked, pausing to adjust the temperature of the stove.

“I got a new manager. Claire’s moving to California, apparently.”

Logan glanced at him, then back at the pasta. “I’m sorry to hear that. I know you liked working with her. What do you think of your new manager?”

“He’s okaayyy, I guess. Not as cool as Claire.”

“I’m sure it will be fine. You will adjust.”

“I guess. Still stinks, though.” He briefly stared off into the distance like he was waiting for his husband to return from the war. Turning back to Logan, he asked, “Anyway, how’s things with you?”

“Well. There hasn’t been any significant change lately in my own employment, which I appreciate. I will probably have to go in early tomorrow, however, to help spread salt in the parking lot. It’s supposed to get colder in the next few days; and if it snows as expected, we must be prepared. The last thing we need is for someone to fall.”

“Don’t they have other people for that?”

“Well, yes, but Marie is on maternity leave, and I wouldn’t want to force Ahmed to do the entire parking lot and sidewalk himself, especially as he has bad knees that the cold will only make worse.”

“Please tell me you’re at least getting overtime.”

Logan shook his head. “No, this would be a favor.”

“Ah, you chivalrous b*stard.”

Logan paused his stirring to hide what was definitely a laugh.

“What happened to winter break? Are you really that bored already?”

“It’s a favor to Ahmed,” Logan reminded him.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Roman frowned at him jokingly, collecting silverware from the drawer.

“It isn’t as if our school break ends the day after tomorrow. There is still plenty of time for relaxation and leisure activity.”

Leisure activity. Roman chuckled to himself. What a Logan way to say “fun”.

“So, do you have Christmas plans?”

“You know my family doesn’t really celebrate. I’ll be staying here, if that’s what you mean to ask. Are you going home?”

“Hm,” Roman shrugged, playing the motion off as casual. “Probably not. It’s a little far, you know. Maybe we’ll get together in January.”

Logan glanced up and nodded, not saying anything. He knew things were somewhat… awkward, in Roman’s family.

Logan added the cheese to the macaroni noodles and began stirring that in while Roman retrieved the plates from the cabinet. He also grabbed the salt and pepper for Logan and the red pepper flakes for himself. He liked to have some spice.

They each spooned out their own portions of the pasta, and then Roman put together dishes for the mouse-men. He included a dish with some extra macaroni, as well, remembering how much Patton liked cheese. He or the other mouse-men might want seconds, he reasoned.

Once that was finished, they each took some of the plates and walked towards the living room.

“Dinner’s ready!” Roman called cheerfully before they entered. They sat down around the table, and Roman put the mouse-men’s portions on the table for them.

“It’s macaroni and cheese,” Logan softly announced as Patton approached the dishes. Patton perked up at the word “cheese”.

Roman smiled to himself.

Patton carried the dishes over in a couple of trips. He didn’t seem to mind that Virgil stayed at his brother’s side rather than helping. Roman knew that Virgil was every-wary and defensive of his brother, something that Patton was surely aware of as well.

Emile himself, meanwhile, while obviously not helping to carry the food over either, had clearly gotten more used to Roman and Logan being around. He didn’t seem nearly as nervous as when he’d first woken up to find himself in their company. While he still didn’t quite seem at ease, he’d come around much more quickly than Patton had. Probably due to a difference in experiences.

Roman shook away the memory of the finger-shaped bruises on Patton’s torso. They were long since gone, even if their influence had not quite yet vanished.

Once the moue-men had gotten settled, Roman reached for the red pepper flakes and shook some over his pasta. He felt eyes on him and glanced up to see Patton looking curiously at the shaker in his hand.

“You wouldn’t like this,” Roman told him. “It’s spicy. Like salsa.”

Patton made a face, obviously reminded of the time he had tried the spicy sauce while staying with the roommates. Roman chuckled.

“It’s okay, I’ll keep it to myself.”

Patton seemed content with that. He tucked into his food along with his companions, clearly enjoying the cheesy noodles. Roman was glad to see that all of them seemed to like it. At first glance, Virgil didn’t appear as overly enthusiastic about the macaroni as Patton, but it didn’t take long before he’d finished his first bowl and gone back for his second. Patton wasn’t far behind, and Emile clearly enjoyed the food as well.

The first part of the meal passed in relative silence, everyone simply enjoying the food. Then, finally, Logan set down his fork.

“So, you seem to be doing well.”

Roman glanced over at his roommate, who was watching Emile with his attempt at a soft, inviting look.

Emile responded with a small, hesitant smile, his own fork pausing over his macaroni.

He really was seeming a lot better, Roman had to agree. He was fully coherent, his bruises were fading, and he was staying awake longer without exhausting himself. The fact that he could eat macaroni and cheese, when he’d started out too nauseated to stomach more than a small amount of soup broth and bits of cracker, was a sign of vast improvement alone. His arm and tail were still broken, of course—it had only been about a week and a half, after all—but he was doing much better. Especially considering the state he’d been in when Logan and Roman had found him.

“He even walked around a little today,” Patton shared, his tone shy, but without an audible stammer.

Virgil, on Emile’s other side, sighed and closed his eyes briefly, as if he hadn’t wanted Roman and Logan to know that.

Roman decided to ignore that, and simply grinned, looking between Patton and Emile. “Really? That’s great!”

Logan nodded, clearly interested in the news as well. “Indeed, I would agree that that is excellent news. The fact that he’s begun to feel restless alone is a clear sign of progress.” He set his fork in his bowl. “I would recommend taking care to not overdo anything, of course. I’m sure you all want to get home as soon as possible, but pushing him is not necessarily the best course of action.”

Virgil scowled up at Logan. “He walked in a circle,” he grumbled. “It’s not like we made him run around the whole freaking building.” He stabbed a noodle with his fork in a way that made Roman think he was pretending it was Logan’s hand. “He wanted to.”

“We know you won’t push him,” Roman interjected soothingly, shooting his roommate a pointed look. “Logan’s just a party pooper sometimes, pointing out stuff like that. He means well.”

Logan sighed, holding up his hands in surrender. “I was simply attempting to be pragmatic.”

Roman ignored him, still addressing the mouse-men. “Anyway, it’s really good that he’s walking! You guys must be so happy! And Emile, I bet it was nice to stretch your legs.”

Roman felt Virgil look him over suspiciously, probably looking for sarcasm or a patronizing tone. But Roman was completely sincere. It was excellent news that Emile was feeling well enough to walk!

Virgil seemed to accept the sincerity of Roman’s statement, going back to his food without a word.

Emile, meanwhile, nodded, looking pleased; but Roman couldn’t help but notice something else in his expression. Dissatisfaction, maybe? Perhaps he had hoped to be doing better by now, or he was just impatient to go home. Roman couldn’t blame him for that, but he was happy for the mouse-man.

“Speaking of progress,” Logan said, “how are you feeling overall? I would assume rather well, given your activity earlier today; but I would appreciate hearing your own impression of your current status.”

Patton reached over and put a hand on Emile’s arm as if to reassure him that it was safe to answer. Virgil set down his macaroni.

Emile hesitated, then very quietly said, “I’m, um… I’m fine.”

“Are you in any pain?”

He swallowed. “…Yes.”

“Perhaps an inquiry with an easily deduced answer. My apologies. I should ask, is your level of pain improving?”

“…Yes,” he repeated.

“Would you mind telling me what still hurts?”

The mouse-man looked uncomfortable. “Um… my arm, I—I guess? A-and my head. And, uh, my ankle, kind of.”

“What about your other symptoms? How is your nausea? It seems improved, from my perspective, given your willingness to eat more.”

Emile nodded awkwardly.

“That’s good to hear. Are you still fatigued? I know you are starting to feel restless, but the two states are not necessarily mutually exclusive.”

“He… he doesn’t sleep as much,” Patton offered, probably wanting to give Emile a break from having to answer all the questions. “He still naps a lot, but… not as much, you know.”

“Yeah,” Emile breathed.

“What about the tinnitus—er, the ringing sound you described? Is it still there? Has the music been helping?”

“…It’s still there,” Emile mumbled.

Logan didn’t look surprised. “Ah. Has the music helped at night?”

The mouse-man nodded, but still looked dissatisfied.

Roman glanced at Logan, who had pursed his lips. “I do know of an exercise that you may attempt that might improve your symptoms. One of your companions will have to help you, at least until your arm heals.”

He waited for an answer, which came in the form of Virgil raising his eyebrows in an expression that clearly said, “Well?” Logan nodded, and then placed the palms of his hands over his ears, letting his fingertips rest on the back of his head.

“If you adopt this pose, and gently drum your fingers against the back of your head for approximately thirty seconds, it might help temporarily quiet the noise.” He demonstrated doing so, turning around to show the mouse-men. Roman meanwhile, let his mind drift, looking around.

“I can do that,” Patton said.

“Excellent. Just remember to be very gentle, as I’m sure you will be.”

“Hold on,” Roman interrupted, staring at Virgil in confusion.. “Are those new crutches?”

The mouse-man tensed, gripping them tightly. “Yeah. So?”

“Um… nothing, I guess.” Roman was just wondering where he had gotten them. He was sure he hadn’t seen them before. Had they somehow made them today? If so, that was very fast.

Logan glanced over to see what they were talking about, and seemed surprised he hadn’t noticed before. “Oh! They’re forearm crutches. That is excellent; I have been meaning to recommend crutches of the sort to you. They’re much better for long-term use than underarm crutches.”

Emile ate another macaroni noodle, looking pleased with himself. Roman had a sneaking suspicion about whose idea these new crutches had been.

…

“Alright! The DVD’s loading now, so we can watch it in just a couple of minutes.” Roman got up from in front of the television and walked over to the couch, where Logan waited with a bowl of popcorn. “Everybody settled in?”

Patton gave him a thumbs up, and Emile’s eyes were already glued to the screen.

(It was hard to tell, but Virgil, sitting on Emile’s other side, might have stuck out his tongue. Roman ignored this.)

Soon, the opening sequence began, and Roman settled himself in for a night of cartoon-bingeing.

[angrydeobi42069]

The hate Blackpink gets is driven by internalized misogyny and here’s why

Blackpink. Basically the biggest girl group on the planet and one of the biggest groups in general, dominating the charts worldwide. Blackpink’s comeback, “How You Like That” broke world records for most viewed video in 24 hours and debuted no.2 on the Billboard charts. I’m sure “Lovesick Girls” charted as well or the same. The first kpop group to perform at Coachella, Blackpink have collabed with too many western artists for me to name (actually, I could probably name them but I could care less about some of these western artists so I’m not going to). I mean, not really a surprise, Blackpink has been breaking records since their debut in 2016. There’s not even really a point in introducing them to you since there’s literally no way you don’t know who they are. 

Now like many celebrities, the more famous you become the more hate you get. I hope everyone knows that this is just bound to happen regardless if your favorite celebrity has never done anything problematic and consistently produces bop after bop. However, BP get some of the worst hate I have seen towards a kpop group and most of it coming from kpop fans and blinks themselves. I’ve heard it from my close friends, from randos on stan twitter, and from locals. So, I have a bone to pick with y’all haters because I truly don't understand. 

Let me start with saying that I’m not a blink. I’m kinda far from it. I like bp and I will definitely click on their stuff when it comes out but I am in no way shape or form an actual stan. I wouldn’t buy their stuff or cry over their achievements, though it does make me somewhat proud. But even though I’m not a blink, I find myself defending these girls whenever someone tries to start shit. 

Ok, so from what I could gather from scouring the internet, harassing my friends, and looking through twitter, people hate bp for mainly these reasons: they hate Jennie, they think bp are overrated and overhyped, they “are not serving what they could serve” (yes, I quoted this from my friend), they’re basically models not idols, their fans suck, and BIG 3 privilege. There’s actually a lot more reasons that I found by looking at a “why do you hate blackpink?” quora thread but these are the easiest to tackle. I’m here to tell you that most of this hate if not all of it comes from misogyny. To be more specific, internalized misogyny because most of this hate comes from female kpop fans. 

Disclaimer: I did not research which demographic hates on bp the most but from personal experience, it has always been women who share their distaste for bp. Ok, moving on. 

I’m going to tackle the reasons I laid out one by one, hopefully well enough that you look back and see if the reason why you hate bp is out of just simple dislike for their music or because you hate women. There’s a big difference if you didn’t notice. If you get offended by this piece then that’s on you not me, just saying.  

Ok, first reason. You hate Jennie? Is that so? May I ask why you hate her so much? What exactly has she done to you that you have such a strong hatred for her? Is it because she’s lazy? Because she’s not doing what she’s capable of? I need reasons. I really do need some reasons before I label you off as someone struggling with internalized misogyny. Jokes aside, I don’t see how you can hate someone you’ve never met. I think most of the time we forget that you literally don’t know these people. I don’t know my favorite kpop boys and you definitely don’t know my good sis Jennie. I could make a whole other piece on the fake images and personalities these idols have and how we eat them up but whatever. 

Back to Jennie, you literally don’t know her. This whole Jennie is lazy argument is bs, pure shit if you ask me. You have no way of knowing what’s going on in her life. I’m pretty sure you’ve had bad days, bad weeks, maybe even bad months. You forget her job is draining, mentally and physically. She’s got dances to memorize, songs to memorize, fans to deal with and communicate with. She has a social media presence, she still has to practice and train (idols don’t just stop practicing once they debut). I know my body would not be able to withstand that no matter how long I trained; I’d drop dead immediately. The matter of fact is there are a ton of reasons why she wasn’t performing up to YOUR standards, which is a whole other can of worms since you’re probably on your bed doing nothing. It’s almost like y’all forgot sickness and fatigue is a thing. 

(this is just one of many videos where you can see jennie being “lazy”, let my girl live smh) 

And even if the reason wasn’t a medical reason, you can’t let my good sis be lazy for once??? The thing is everyone acts like they’ve never been lazy in their entire life. You’re telling me you’ve never not wanted to do nothing for no good reason? Lies, you’re fucking lying. Ok so what if she doesn’t feel like doing the move with that much energy. Let her live?? All I’m saying is you’d probably survive 5 days in the kpop industry with your lazy ass. And don’t try to hit me with the “but that’s her job she has to perform at 100% all the time” because I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to be failing your classes or pretending to be sick to get out of class. It’s the hypocrisy of it all. All if you had to perform the same song for a year, I’m sure you’d get sick of it too (fuck you YG). 

The reason why you hold Jennie to ridiculous standards is because of your ~ misogyny ~. Yes, it’s showing. Especially if you don’t hold male idols to the same level as Jennie. Female idols on the daily are held to ridiculous standards when it comes to their performances. One hair out of place and all of a sudden the knetz come holding their pitchforks. Gfriend slipping on the stage, something caused by literal rain, is still laughed at to this day and mocked. Jang Gyuri on Produce 48 had a voice crack that was edited and replayed to death on the show, ending in her elimination because she couldn’t recover from it. Meanwhile male idols make a mistake on stage and it’s like “Omg, a babie! Omg, that’s so funny!”. I don’t think I can think of any moment where male idols got shit because of a stage mistake. If anything he’s just babied and posted on twitter. My point is female idols are always shat on no matter what they do. Jennie is no exception. 

(tell me why the fancam of gfriend falling has 15M views... for what? FOR WHAT)

Now the second point, bp is overrated and overhyped. Umm, so this point is a little harder to flat out say you’re wrong, mostly because it depends on your own personal taste. If bp’s music is not for you then it might be easy to say that they’re overrated since they’re literally the biggest girl group in the world. The nuances come with the reasons behind this statement. I’m not going to address if you just dislike their music, I can’t really change your opinion on that. I will however, address if the reason behind you saying they’re overrated is because their music sounds “generic” and you don’t think they’re talented, or if you don’t think they deserve their fame because of their small discography and short promotion periods. 

The statement that all four of the bp members are untalented is just false. Wrong. W-R-O-N-G. Don’t mind me just spelling it out for you. Listen, to be able to debut you have to have some sort of talent. No one really debuts without any talent at all (for record yes I’m including visual as being a talent, sue me and leave hate idc). The only reason why someone with no talent would debut is if they had a HUGE fan base before debut and the company was trying to capitalize on it. I can name a few examples but I’m not trying to start shit. These fan bases could show up from predebut commercials, acting gigs, or reality shows. Blackpink had none of that, sure a few of them had appearances in other mv’s but I wouldn’t consider that abnormal in companies’ promotion tactics. Bp went through the typical trainee process. They passed the auditions, trained for a couple of years, and debuted. Now if you knew anything about the trainee process you would know that trainees have monthly evaluations. These monthly evaluations determine whether or not you can make it to debut. If you don’t show progress, then you’re getting the boot. So the fact that bp made it up to the final levels of evaluation and actually debuted indicates that these girls have talent, I’m sorry to say. Objectively, these girls can dance, sing, and rap. Maybe they’re not the best in the industry, I never said that but they are capable of doing all 3 things. Also they come from YG and as much as I hate YG, they’ve got trainees for dayssssss. YG’s status and income did not rely on these girls debuting, they could’ve picked anyone out of their 100 trainees they’ve got in the dungeon. If anything it’s way more competitive to debut in any of the Big 3 companies. It’s like picking the best of the best. If you’re saying these girls are not talented then maybe check yourself a little bit to see why you’re exactly saying that. I’m assuming you won’t be able to do anything better than them. 

The other three points were that their music is generic, their discography is small and their promotions are short. Well, in that case say fuck YG? You’re really acting like these girls produce their own music, make their own choreos and schedule their own promotions. Like wtf? That’s what their companies are for? The way that everyone chooses to ignore YG and their staff and immediately put blame on the girls like they get to choose what they do is ridiculous. Now I know not everyone does this, but the amount of people I’ve seen say bp is overrated because of their discography is a lot. But y’all really out here acting like they make their own discography smh. Yell at Teddy? Yell at YG? I’ve been yelling at those mfers because they’re not giving bp what they deserve. There’s no surprise when I say what they’ve been giving bp is subpar in terms of choreo and vocal ability in songs. I know those girls can do so much more. I don’t even wanna talk about the pretty savage choreo. I don’t. But this is no reason to hate on them? It’s like if I hated a starbucks barista for starbucks having a pumpkin spice latte. Like ???? 

( i drew this myself :) )

Even the hate that they receive because they get sponsorships and ads makes no sense. You don’t want them to make coin? A huge part of what comes with being famous is brand sponsoring. Brands pay you to promote their stuff because hello, you’re famous. So the fact that you don’t want them to do this is first of all wack but also again you’re acting like these girls choose the sponsorships and choose when to go on these trips. YG. MFING YG. I don’t think y’all understand how much control these companies have over their idols. Company says drink water, you drink water. Company says stop breathing and you stop breathing. You do whatever your company says you have to do. That’s your boss. 

So why don’t y’all start hating the producers, choreographers, and management instead. Why focus your hate on these four girls? I won’t spell it out for you again but I hope you get the jist. Most of the time it’s way more easy to attack the woman when she has nothing to do with anything. Society tells you to direct your complaints to the girl involved. You see a male celebrity start dating and who gets attacked? The girl. A girl gets cheated on in a movie by her boyfriend and who does she attack? The girl he cheated with. It’s internalized misogyny luv, yes I ended up spelling it out for you. For real, the girls just breathe and y’all scream at them. 

Final point about the big 3 privilege and fanbase. You have every right to not stan a group because of their fanbase. What you don’t have a right to do is hate on them and leave nasty comments on their posts. First, that’s fan behavior. Second, if you’re gonna do this keep the same energy for people who want to do this with your group. I’m talking about every group because every idol group got some wack ass fans. You shouldn’t hate a group because their fanbase is annoying, they don’t get to pick and choose their fans. So, don’t be a hypocrite ok :) Now big 3 privilege. Ah big 3 privilege. Yes, it exists. There’s no denying it. Big 3 privilege doesn’t really die out in my opinion. For as long as they’re still active, bp will have big 3 privilege. But just with any other sort of privilege, if you have it might as well use it. Listen, if I was white you know I’d be eating up my white privilege I’m not gonna lie. Jokes aside, bp has worked extremely hard. Yes, they have the big 3 privilege but they still have to perform these concerts, shows, and go to these interviews and train. As much as you’d like to disagree with me, I think that it’s a very objective to say that they have worked hard. 

I think it’s important to acknowledge how hard it is to get into these companies in the first place. You’re not born into it like a lot of social privileges people have. You have to audition. There are so many idols that have tried to get into these big companies but have failed. Now I’m not saying that these idols are not as talented as the ones that get into these big companies. Most of the time, these idols aren’t ready at the time of their audition and work harder on their own before trying out other companies. The big 3 get their trainees at very young age, which means these kids have to be either geniuses or show an incredible amount of promise. They’re the big 3 for a reason, they’ve been around the longest and have the most experience. They can see a future idol in the making relatively quickly. So yeah bp have big 3 privilege but they’ve worked hard, sacrificed their childhood, and get shat on just as much as your kpop idols. They’ve just got a fancy name behind them that doesn’t even make good choices promoting them anyways. It’s not a valid reason to hate them because of this, just saying.

Most of the hate bp gets is brought upon by the idea that our patriarchal society has ingrained in us. Women = bad, yell at them vs. men = good, don’t yell at them. We hate seeing women succeed. It’s as simple as that. Seeing powerful women dominate the industry they’re in scares us to our core. We don’t like it. I’m just here to bring light to it.

[pluto-writes]

Hm... I’ve never done this type of thing before, but I just finished reading the fourth bsd light novel, 55 Minutes, and it was interesting to say the least. I think out of all the light novels, this one went more in depth about abilities and the limitations they have. As well as bringing back the skill singularities that were first introduced in the second light novel (I think).

I wanted to talk about the information it gave us, but there will be slight spoilers, so I’ll put in under the cut.

Topics:

Atsushi’s healing factor

Dazai’s nullification ability, and ability limits

Skill singularities

 Atsushi’s healing factor:

First off, we already know about his healing ability that comes with the tiger. Depending on the wound he gets it’ll heal within a certain amount of time.

In this light novel, that side of his ability becomes more clear... I’ve seen some theories about his healing, and there was one I really liked, so if I find it, I’ll provide a link. But I’m not here to theorize, I’m not smart enough for that, I’m just here to provide information this novel gives us. 

His ‘healing’ ability, doesn’t actually heal him. He says so himself what it does.

“For some reason or another, he [The Tiger] seems to have the power to negate wounds. Not the power to heal them or recover but to negate.” - Page 159

Strange, isn’t it? He clarifies that it doesn’t heal, but negate. So what does that mean?

Negate: Nullify; make ineffective

It makes it as if the wound had never happened in the first place. I think Yosano hinted towards this in season 1, when they were on the train and she commented how there wasn’t even a mark when his leg ‘healed’ itself after it was severed. 

This does not only apply to wounds caused by abilities, but also wounds inflicted by weapons. An example being when he got shot in the chest, it healed immediately and he was back on his feet. Even when a bullet pierced through his throat, he was still able to survive. (I believe he said as long as his brain and heart were safe, he’ll live)

But if this much is true, how come his scars from the orphanage haven’t healed? I dunno, just something to think about...

Dazai’s nullification ability, and ability limits:

This section of the light novel was very... fascinating. Completely destroyed my perspective on Dazai’s ability.

I can’t quote everything cause that’s a lot of work, but basically Dazai died. For a moment.... A while- but look-

Wells, a character introduced in this novel (a good one at that asfsjlfkj she pretty-) explained this to Atsushi.

“Skills that nullify other skills will not activate if the user is dead. In other words, Dazai- or rather, his body- won’t be nullifying any skills, since his heart has stopped.” - Page 186

Then Atsushi confirms that when an ability user dies, their ability is no longer active. Which allows them to get around Dazai’s nullification ability by reviving him and once they do, they’ll have a small time frame to use Yosano’s ability on him since he’ll then be ‘on the verge of death.’ But once blood flowed back into his brain his ability will be active again, so to reiterate, very small time frame to use her ability, but it’s still possible. 

Reading this fucking??? Blew my mind??? Literally stopped reading and had to process everything. 

Skill singularities:

Wells, in all her smart glory, discusses skill singularities with Atsushi. 

She says the same things Ango (I swear it was him that first brought it up-) said about it, 

“A singularity is when two skills cancel each other out and create something different from either skill.... Usually, one skill would beat out the other. However, on rare occasions, both skills will interact and produce unbelievably profound results that go beyond what normal skills can do.” - Page 85

But we already heard about this right? However, there’s more.

Unfortunately, I’m Atsushi in this situation when she starts to explain the uncertainty principle, so I don’t completely understand everything she says. In short, there’s a relation between time and energy, and clarifies that the greater the energy something has, the shorter it can last.

But with her ability she was able to overcome time, and extend the amount of time something can last, allowing a huge burst of energy to last longer.

... I kinda forgot where I was gonna go with this section... But, I definitely feel like Wells gave us a more... informed (?) answer about skill singularities. I think when Ango talked about it, there was a mystery surrounding about what could happen when two opposing (or similar) abilities collide. Though, Wells shows us what extent they can reach, that they can become powerful enough to create a weapon that is basically unstoppable once it sets off.

That’s it. End post.

[iatasbcl]

Howdy! Can I have an imagine for Connor and a gender neutral reader where the reader is best friends with Gavin but has a crush on Connor [RK800]? Could you put a bit of fluff in too? You can change it up if you want, that's cool. Thank you for considering.

The One Where You Confess

Pairing: Connor X Reader, Gavin Reed & Reader

Warnings: Insecurities, a lot of swearing, nothing else just badly written fluff lmao I’m sorry

A/N: Hi! I’m so sorry for not finishing this one way sooner ): It’s just that Uni started so I’m a bit busy! But yeah, thank you for requesting this love, hope ya enjoy it

W.C: 1.9k

“Gavin, if I hear anything else about Shrek in the next five minutes, I swear to god I will throw you into the trash then sit you on fire myself.” You said, holding your index up in the man’s face.

“Alright.” Your brows furrowed at how easily the detective was convinced, especially after hearing him quote Shrek for hours and hours since your marathon last night. You watched him as he went back to his desk and got out his phone. You supposed you could finally do some actual work, but your phone binged just as you reached for the terminal.

Hey watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaUR7h4WunY

You looked back to Gavin, what could he have possibly sent you now? he didn’t look your way and just stared into his computer. Your thumb hovered over the link before finally clicking it.

You knew what this thing was. This awful, terrible, shitty video from 2014 that still haunted you was enough to fuel your nightmares again just by hearing the narrator’s voice. You don’t bother finishing it, the flashbacks were enough.

You slammed your hands on the table and got up. Gavin was laughing now, like the complete idiot that he was. “Gavin, you stupid fucking- “

You were ready to throw hands when you heard him, the man with the beautiful yet goofy voice that you liked so much. “Are you alright, detective?” You turned and saw him standing behind you with two cups of coffee. He wore a casual jacket now and a pair of jeans and you swore that he still looked like a supermodel.

“Hey Connor, I’m good.” You said and side-eyed the Gavin, you would deal with him later. When you looked back Connor had walked towards you with a cup handed out. You stared at it for a second then looked up at the android.

“I brought you a cup of your preferred coffee. You seem to function better with it.”

Gavin laughed and you felt your cheeks heating up. What was that supposed to mean?

“Thanks…?” You reached for the cup and took it slowly, Connor’s LED turned yellow. “What’s on your mind?” the question was said as you walked back to your desk, you sat down and opened the lid covering the cup and took a sip; it was warm and tasted just the way you liked. You didn’t remember telling Connor how you liked your coffee.

You knew of the android’s cute habit. He still followed others around like an adorable puppy. He stood next to your desk and said, “You seemed hesitant to accept my token of appreciation.” It seemed like an interestingly worded question.

“Oh. No, no. I appreciate it! I just- “ just as you were going to make up an excuse for yourself, Fowler shouted your name from his office. You gave the man an apologetic look and went to see what your boss wanted from you.

*

“that tincan, really?”

You knew telling Gavin about your crush wouldn’t garner you the best reaction. The man, despite being a good friend, was a walking and breathing fiery mess. He disliked androids and didn’t even start tolerating them until he got his own android partner, an RK900. He still hated Connor with the burning anger of Gordan Ramsey himself.

“Look, I don’t want to hear you bitchin’, okay? I just need your help here, not your hot take on androids, especially him.” He raised his hands in defense.

“Woah, Woah, chill.” You sighed, “I won’t talk shit about your little crush, but,” You held your finger up in his face, “No buts. I’m awkward and desperately in love. Just… help.”

Gavin looked at you for a bit, you put on your best puppy eyes for him. It wasn’t like Gavin had a never-ending string of lovers, nope, not the case at all. You couldn’t talk about this to Hank, he was a friend of yours, but this would make things awkward between you, probably. Tina was still recovering in the hospital after her injury. Talking to RK900 also knows as Nines, would be useless since the poor guy’s social skills were worse than yours.

“Ugh, fine. Let’s go get lunch and I’ll tell you what ya gotta do.”

*

“Ok… so you’re telling me to pretend to be some bimbo?”

“Nah, I was just messing with ya.” He said, stuffing his mouth with another dozen of fries, “You shuff’ juff be yourselph- ” Your face twisted in disgust and you smacked his arm lightly, “finish eating first you despicable egg.” He shut his mouth.

“As I was saying, you gotta be yourself.” You rolled your eyes, “Ugh, please. Nobody likes that.” Gavin shook his head. “The hell are you talking about? You’re great, and if that plastic prick can’t see it then-“

“Gav, please. You’ve been there every time I got dumped… it’s always been my fault.” You looked down at your plate.

“Hey, both of us know that ain’t the truth. Your dump exes just wanted to blame you for how things ended because that shit’s easier. Remember Meg? That chick was a control freak and didn’t like it when you didn’t want any of her bullshit.” Megan. You remembered the last day you saw her, how she screamed and screamed at you for being ‘an ungrateful cruel person’. Yikes.

“Look, you are an odd goofball.” “gee- thanks,” “But you are a good goofball, the kind you wanna keep around forever. So, if you wanna get that prick then go for it, ask him out. If he’s not into you then you’ll be saving your time. And if things go really south…” the previous words warmed your heart.

“What?” you ask, curious. “Remember how we used to go to Disneyland every year since the academy?” you nodded; those trips were some of the memories that you still cherished. You two couldn’t go in the last year because your bank accounts weren’t looking great.

“Well I’ve saved some money, so I’ma take you there. How does that sound?”

You squealed, “Are you the real Gavin Reed? What did ya do with him?” you asked playfully, “Hey! I’m always nice.” “Right.”

You looked at your watch and got up, “C’mon, we gotta go.” You waited for him to walk past you and you smacked his head, it was more of a rough tap really. He winced, punching your arm.

“What was that for?!”

“Never send me Shrek memes. Ever.”

*

Tonight was supposed to be the night. You were going to ask the cute, adorable, handsome android out. Everyone went to the bar after work, wanting to celebrate closing an important red ice case, it would’ve been the perfect opportunity for you to ‘declare your love’, hell, you practiced your speech. It was supposed to be perfect.

Instead, here you were, stuck in a nearly empty office when everyone was out having fun. You just had to procrastinate some of your reports, didn’t you?

You sighed, whatever. This might be the universe’s way of telling you to abort your mission, to not ruin your precious friendship with Connor. You wanted to believe that, but god, you loved him.

You loved every part of him; his adorably weird social antics, his gorgeous smile whenever he would see you, his kind personality, the tiny freckles adorning his soft face, just, him.

“Detective.”

You yelped when you finally snapped out of your little bubble only to see the man of your dreams Infront of you. Was it whatever it was that rested in the skies up above that wanted you to constantly wish to have the ground beneath you split open and swallow you whole? Probably.

“C-Connor, hey.”

“I apologize for frightening you.” You waved your hand, “No, it’s fine really.” You let out that awkward laugh that you hated so much. Connor’s LED turned yellow, shit, did he notice you being weird?

“Um, I thought you went with Hank?”

“I came back. I would like to assist you if that’s okay.” You blinked, “You don’t have to do-“

“I want to. I don’t like seeing you stressed.” Your heart skipped a beat, something about the way he said it made you feel like a teenager who just discovered what love is. “Alright, be my guest.”

Damn, you forgot how good androids were at basically everything. Connor took half of the workload despite your protests. You were still halfway through your share when he finished his. You spent the rest of the time talking about whatever came to mind, turning the atmosphere of the room into a comfortable one.

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Does my presence bother you?”

The comfort you felt was immediately thrown out of the window. You stopped typing and looked at the desk across you, where he sat. You saw something new, an expression that Connor usually didn’t show, hurt. His eyebrows were brought together, his lips pursed, and his eyes got a bit intense. Too intense.

You scratched your neck and looked back to your terminal. “What would give you that idea?”

You could see him tilt his head from the corner of your vision. “Well, you seem to fidget and become increasingly anxious whenever I come near you,”

“You also seem far more comfortable with Detective Reed, Nines and Hank. I am sorry if did something wrong, but I would appreciate it if you told me what it was.”

“Connor-” You stopped yourself, what were you supposed to say? Sorry, I just really like you and I don’t know how to deal with it? I’m scared I will mess everything up?

He stared at you and you looked anywhere but at him. Ugh, fuck it, you were gonna wing it, by being yourself. All the preparation you had gone down the gutter.

“I, uh, the reason I get nervous around you is that, well- I like your face, no wait not just that I’m not that superficial. Not that it isn’t great, your face is gorgeous. Ah shit. I- Ireallylikeallofyou.”

Connor blinked, the ring on his temple turned yellow, again. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

The following silence was too much, you’d rather be watching weird Shrek parodies. You stared at Connor, waiting for an answer, for anything really. He didn’t say a word. Time to back up.

“Okay, sorry, shit, you can forget I said anything- “

“No, ____.” You paused; you weren’t used to him calling you by your first name. “I also, uh- “

You didn’t think melting was something your body was capable of, but that was how you felt. This cool, calculated android just stuttered. You almost giggled, but luckily held back.

“I also like you. I was trying to bond with you as several sites suggested, but it seemed to backfire.” You chuckled. “No, I am sorry I acted like a high schooler,”

“Your nervousness was justified. Please don’t was be hard on yourself.”

You smiled; it was a rather bittersweet one. His hand was on the desk, you moved yours and put it on his slowly. Connor froze for a moment but regained his composure after, he gently massaged your hand with his thumb. It wasn’t your first time touching an android but the artificial skin still had that unique feeling to it.

“So, do you want to go out next Thursday?”

“Yes, that would be preferable.”

It felt like a dream, the man you liked felt the same. You were so ready for rejection that you didn’t know what to do now. A yawn escaped you, it had gotten pretty late. You finished the last of your work and shut off the computer. An idea came to your mind.

“There is this sweet spot around the block, do you want me to show it to you?”

Connor immediately nodded, “Alright, wait I gotta send something.”

I DID IT DUDE

[sharinluna]

MLQC Chapter 16 translation part 3(Do not reblog)

DO NOT COPY, QUOTE, REPOST OR REBLOG THIS ANYWHERE. Links are okay but I don’t want this post to spread too much in other communities or websites.

Translation of excerpts from chapter 16.

This is not a full translation, only some parts. It’s more like a abbreviation/summary/paraphrasing of some parts of the story. Do not ask me to translate more or reveal more plots in the story.

The translation is based on KR version text. I’m not a professional translator and get things wrong. So do not regard this as the actual canon story.

I used Yōurán as the name of MC because that is the unofficial default MC’s name in CN version.

READ PART 1 and PART 2 BEFORE YOU READ THIS!

Part 1

https://sharinluna.tumblr.com/post/187751162973/mlqc-chapter-16-translation-part-1

Part 2

https://sharinluna.tumblr.com/post/187876713658/mlqc-chapter-16-translation-part-2

Chapter 15 translation

https://sharinluna.tumblr.com/post/186925543283/mlqc-chapter-15-translation

When I regained my consciousness I was lying in an empty laboratory. This… was the building from before. What happened? Where was Lucien?

Lucien was standing outside the door. I dragged him inside. His shoulder was drenched in blood.

Yōurán: You’re hurt!

I was about to reach my hand out to him when he grabbed it first. The heat transferred from the tip of my fingers to my heart. His eyes looking at me were quieter than the deepest night.

Lucien: Why did you come back when you knew it was dangerous?

His strained voice held so many emotions that I couldn’t figure out.

Yōurán: You saved me. I couldn’t just leave you behind.

Lucien: I saved you only because I could use you for my benefit.

This was not the first time he said that to me. My heart shivered as I looked into his eyes.

Yōurán: Then why weren’t you planning to escape with me? Did you have no intention to save yourself?

Lucien: There was no need. It was all part of my plan.

Did that mean it was completely unnecessary for me to come back?

Yōurán: I’m sorry…

Tears came from my eyes as my heart let out the emotions I’ve been confining.

Yōurán: Did we fall into eternal unconsciousness…

Lucien: No. We are still in their dreams. And they are in my dreams.

Yōurán: You mean after we exited the building… from then on it was your dream? How did you…

Lucien: I have a way.

Yōurán: But you said if we die in dreams, we die for real…

Lucien: Not in my dreams. In my dream you need to die to live. Death or injury cannot affect our real body.

Yōurán: So what will happen to them?

Lucien: They will be forever trapped in my dream. If they ever manage to escape, they will lose all memory of the dream.

He was very calm as he revealed this startling news.

Lucien: Close your eyes. I will get you out of here.

So this was all part of his plan. And he didn’t tell me anything about it.

I have endlessly cried my heart out. I have endlessly grasped my resolve. I have endlessly confronted my feelings and agonized over them. And it turned out it was all for nothing!

He cheated me! But he also made sure that I wouldn’t get hurt…

Yōurán: This was all part of your plan, right?

Lucien: Very clever.

I laughed bitterly. I wasn’t clever at all.

Yōurán: If I hadn’t come back…?

Lucien: I would have successfully survived nonetheless.

Silently I cried. So my choice held no meaning to him at all…

His big hand covered my eyes.

Yōurán: Will I forget everything that’s happened here too?

There was a long silence until he finally answered.

Lucien: Yes.

I could feel the tremor of his hand against my face.

The vision that I’d seen before replayed in my mind. Everything was seen in black and white. I could see myself devoid of color. Was this Lucien’s future? No, this was all in the past. Was I seeing his memories then? But why do they all lack color?

I felt dizzy as I said the words I’ve kept in my heart.

Yōurán: Lucien… who are you exactly…? We are clearly enemies…. but why do you always risk your everything to save me… and then push me away from you every time….

Even before I could hear his answer my mind let go of my consciousness and I couldn’t hold on to my thoughts.

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When Lucien realized that she was asleep he wordlessly embraced her and wiped away her tears.

The pain starting from his shoulder now could be felt everywhere.

Lucien carefully took out the pen from his pocket and placed it on her hand. And went close to her ear to whisper:

Lucien: Don’t try to face the dangers alone… please… for me…

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World Inside the Box - Lucien

Lucien opened his eyes slowly in a darkened alley. She was safe in his arms. He tried to hold on to her tighter but his injured shoulders were stiff.

He looked down at her and gently caressed her hair. His memories were a little fuzzy. When he saw that there was blood on her clothes he checked until he realized with relief that she was unhurt. He carried her into his car parked not far away.

It was still raining when he laid her down gently on her bed in her room. After staring at her for a long time, he finally turned around and went away, leaving no trace of him.

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As soon as he entered the dark room Lucien took off his shirt drenched in blood without even bothering to turn on the lights first.

The injury on his shoulder was deep enough to reveal bones but undaunted Lucien just changed into a clean shirt and walked to his desk.

On the desk was a plain-looking black metal box. Lucien read his fingerprints on the box. The box opened with a click. Inside was a black pill.

Lucien took the pill and swallowed it. Then he went out to the corridor and was gone.

On the box was written: Dream-vision Fragments Recovery.

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I had a dream. In my dream I seemed to hear a voice calling my name and Lucien.

I opened my eye and looked at the ceiling. A flash of something black and white whizzed past my eyes. My memories were dim like badly developed films.

I was being chased in an alley… then how did I wake up in my home? It seemed like a paragraph of my memory was missing but I had no clue where to begin looking for it.

All I knew was that as soon as I thought of Lucien… a wave of grave sorrow and hurt flooded over me.

I wracked my brains but all I remembered was the press conference, the confrontation with him after and then calling him for help in that dark alley…

And next thing I knew I woke up from my bed safe and sound… so I suppose he did come to save me after all?

I put my hand in my pocket and noticed the silver pen. I’m sure that I gave it back to him…

I held on to the pen tightly and tried to recover my memories. I forgot something very important but the harder I tried the more I was bombarded with headaches.

Discussion

Okay, so that is the end of chapter 16 translation. I also inserted the translation of “World Inside the Box” It’s like a side story to understand chapter 16 better.

After Lucien stabbed his eye in chapter 13 he lost his ability to see MC in color. Her visions confirmed that. He stabbed his EYE for her even if it meant he would lose the only color in his world.

So Lucien would have survived even if MC hadn’t come back for him but I don’t think her actions were meaningless. It was a confirmation to both her and Lucien that they still love each other despite the Black Swan/Ares is her enemy thing.

What really hurts that Yōurán is unable to remember all the revelations and epiphany she went through in the dream world. Lucien probably regained his memories after he took that strange pill from the black box but now Yōurán has a void in her memory. But that doesn’t mean that her tears and hurt are gone as well.

As the chapter progresses you can see that Yōurán is going deeper and deeper into depression. At the beginning of chapter 15 she was already showing signs of it like breaking out in tears suddenly or being unable to go back to her job. Gavin patched her up a bit but due to some incidents they were in danger again.

She gets stabbed in the back protecting Gavin and even though she is losing consciousness she holds on to Gavin begging him to not go but he leaves her leaving only the ginkgo bracelet behind.

In chapter 16 she tries to put a distance between Lucien but fails utterly and admits to herself that she can never stop caring for Lucien, but after all they went through those memories are stolen from her. Her heart hurts so much but she doesn’t remember why. She is only left with his “Iridescent” pen.