pearlofthewoods

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This artwork of mine is absolutely one of my fav pieces I've ever done and also my very first art for BtVS

I was listening to "Iris" Goo Goo Dolls on repeat. I mean it took an effort not to cry in the process

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in season 7 there should have been a scene where Buffy tells Spike "The house is full of people, you can't sleep naked anymore" but he hasn't worn pajamas since the Victorian era and one morning Dawn gets up early and spots him wandering around like this

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Godric’s Hollow

A new edition to this.

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please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks. please do not rate fics in the bookmarks.please do not rate fics in the bookmarks.

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@notdamien oh wow I hope it’s ok to reblog this. This analysis almost broke me. Spike even without a soul can be so human honestly.

Another example of Spike being able to have care for humans outside of his romantic love for Buffy was how he reacted to Tara pulling the blinds down when they were in that RV running away from Glory. Tara was still insane, and didn't consider the fact that Spike was a vampire who would be damaged, so she pushed the blinds aside. He ran away from the sunlight, obviously, and Tara started crying when Willow pulled her away. Willow apologized to Spike, and instead of being a dick about it or even just ignoring the apology, he said that it was okay and his skin had already stopped smoking, so Tara could play with the blinds all she liked. I suppose you could argue that this was all in service to Buffy, but I don't think so. He could have simply been polite and just stopped at saying it was okay if his goal was to simply play nice with her friends, but he went beyond that. He said that Tara could keep letting sunlight into the RV, regardless of the fact that sunlight could hurt him. I think this was because she was clearly distraught at no longer having access to the light, and, when faced with a crying, insane young woman, Spike couldn't help but want to make her feel better.

Again, he still had that evil vampire soul inside of him that caused him to do lots of terrible things, but this was yet another example of him being gentler than the other vampires we've seen. For all the terrible things he'd done, Soulless Spike was still somehow capable of caring enough about humans to endure pain and suffering on their behalf.

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Here's an updated /slightly more realistic version of my Ginny because I am suffering from an art block and this is the only thing that turned out okayy

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Have you seen the discourse on tiktok about Rowling and the marauders fandom? People are saying we can't be in the fandom because it keeps her relevant

someone actually dmed me about this yesterday so this is perfect timing !! under the cut for those that wanna skip <3

guilt is a big thing. and i've spoken about that here. there is a lot of guilt that comes with being trans and in this fandom. but my big question is:

does it keep her relevant or does it keep her works relevant? that's the deciding factor for me. and if the fandom was as anti-jkr as it claims to be, then this wouldn't even be a question. unfortunately,,, it's not.

which is why these discussions are so important!! i got a lot of backlash for my video about the reboots, but hi hello, we need to talk about this. because it does affect how ethical this is.

which is the basis. ethical participation is the basis of all of this (in depth here). you don't need to be loud about your disagreement with jkr, but you absolutely do need to be consistent with it. which is difficult in a fanspace with so many people - we can make sure that we ourselves are doing the absolute best we can, but we can't control what anyone else is doing.

and as a "content creator" (i hate that term) it's a big thing to consider!! by posting about fanfictions and about her characters, am i promoting her?

the answer is no.

because i am loud and i am consistent in my dislike of her. because i promote fan works made by people who are anti-jkr, because i promote fan works that do not have her views in them, because i have information available on my account about jkr, because i am anti-jkr in everything that i do in this space.

and there's this idea of "what if someone sees your post and decides to go profit her?" and without sounding like i'm trying to dodge responsibility,,, is that my fault?? is it my fault if i post something written by a fan - that most likely has "fuck jkr" in the fic summary - and they decide to go and profit a renowned terf?? i don't think so.

and i'm a very conscious person in everything that i do and i KNOW that there is the potential of this happening but,,, i'm doing all i can. it's not my fault if someone decides to profit her after seeing fanbased content. controversial i know but,,, we know she's a terf. we all know, you don't even need to be in the fandom to know. if you google "jk rowling" the first article is literally "JK Rowling's transphobia controversy: a complete timeline." it's not some hidden secret, and i've done my educating on my account. unfortunately, i can't make people decide if they care more about material items or my existence.

if you are actually participating in fandom ethically, then you are not promoting jkr by being here. she's taken so much from us (the works, the merch, she's a frontrunner in the anti-trans rhetoric in the uk), don't let her take this as well. which again!!! is why these discussions are so important because it does feel like she's taking the fanspaces when i watch people promote the reboot etc.

i'll say it again:

you do not need to be loud about being anti-jkr, but you do need to be consistent.

fanspaces are absolutely ethical if you are participating in them right, because if this fandom was as anti-jkr as it claims to be, it would be obvious that we're fans of the universe, not her.

we absolutely can reclaim this space, but only if you're consistent. (tumblr post here about it)

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i've had a LOT of people message me about the reboot video and the other discussions that i've had recently about jkr, about fandom, about being trans in fandom.

and i just remembered about this draft from before i even posted that video, and i think it sums up how i feel pretty well.

as a fandom, i think we need to clarify again what reclaiming a space means.

because it is not removing ourselves from the artist, especially not one as problematic as jk rowling. it is impossible for us to separate from her views as they are the forefront of her person and are heavily embedded into her works. to separate entirely is not possible, and to strive to do so is, in my opinion, optimistically ignorant.

we cannot separate art from artist when confronted with two-dimensional female characters that we have to bulk out through fandom. we cannot separate art from artist when gender norms are prevalent in the works (see here: rita and umbridge - villain women - being described as masculine). we cannot separate art from artist when queerness is attacked in her works (see here, less vividly: harry being treated awfully at a primary school called. stone. wall. (arguably a reach, i agree)). we cannot separate art from artist when names likes cho chang and kingsley shacklebolt are a thing. we cannot separate art from artist when, in books published during the irish troubles, the one irish character's entire personality is blowing stuff up.

the nazi imagery (see also: jkr denying the holocaust), the antisemitism, the oppression of women, racism.

her entire transphobic platform that has now gone on to harm cis women (which, by the way, trans people have been screaming for years that transphobia harms cis women, and we weren't listened to. see again: rita and umbridge. if you are not feminine and pretty, you are bad).

we cannot separate art from artist and we shouldn't.

reclaiming a space means that those marginalised communities? every single one of them? every single person who was harmed by her works and her subsequent platform? they can find a space in fandom.

they can find works that represent them, works that rectify the harmful stereotypes in her books, works that are inclusive and safe that still allow us to engage with the world that we love.

they can be safe.

you can engage with fandom however you want. whatever ships, headcanons, stories, ANYTHING. you can engage with it however you want.

as long as your wants do not harm others.

and even then, we cannot stop you from doing that. all we do is ask that you acknowledge that this is not reclaiming.

you cannot reclaim a space that causes harm by causing harm, no matter how indirect.

we cannot separate art from artist, no matter how badly we want to.

we can 'separate' our works from her views, absolutely. we can say that these works do not align with her views and alleviate the harm caused by what she wrote, i agree.

but that is all.

her merchandise, her parks, her books, her films, her reboots. everything with her name on and her bank account attached?

we cannot reclaim those. we cannot separate those.

and i will not pretend to be perfect. i will not pretend that i don't have merchandise, or even that i haven't considered purchasing more. i was literally contemplating going to see cursed child a few months ago, arguing with myself to try and justify why that would be a once in a lifetime experience for me.

but so was starting hormones. so was getting my top surgery approved. so was coming out and subsequently moving out of an abusive home. so was changing my name. so was living.

going to see cursed child would have been a once in a lifetime experience for me, yes. but at the cost of funding a woman who does not want me to have the same lifetime as cis people. at the cost of providing money to a woman that does. not. want. me. alive.

and it's so easy to say that one person doesn't make a difference, and i agree! i have literally said this before!

which is why i have used the collective we throughout this post.

but i also think, it's worth acknowledging that one person can make a difference. and that one person is jkr.

it is not reclaiming a space to simply say that you do not stand with her.

it is not reclaiming a space to exist as something jkr hates - i am not reclaiming this space by existing in it as a trans man. my existence is not a form of protest.

boycotting is.

it is not reclaiming a space to say "fuck jkr" and then profit her.

it is reclaiming a space when your actions reflect your words.

and that is the bare minimum.

we cannot change the source text or the views that went into them. we cannot change jkr's personal views or the way that she chooses to use her money.

we cannot use the term "reclaiming the space" to feel better about our actions, and to avoid accountability. not when funding her account.

and i don't want to hold people to account. that's not my goal; never has been, and never will be. i am not typing this to cause further harm, or to point fingers, or anything like that.

i am typing this to clarify what i mean when i say reclaiming a space, and ask that those who disagree do not enter the space i have forged for myself here.

to ask that those who put once in a lifetime experiences over me living a full lifetime do not enter my life. here for a good time, not a long time, right?

i am not in this space to explain why jkr is a bad person. i am not in this space as a form of protest. i am not in this space to explain to people that their actions have consequences - that's for teachers in nursery to explain.

i am in this space because it's fun.

and i feel annoying talking about it. i feel like i'm annoying people by bringing this up time and time again, but, to be honest, i hope that they feel the discomfort. i hope that they do get annoyed, and i hope that they recognise that any annoyance they feel about me speaking up about transness in the marauders/hp fandom does not come anywhere close to the annoyance i feel watching these videos.

because i shouldn't feel the need to take a step back from engaging interactively in fandom.

i shouldn't need to cater my online experience in a fandom that claims to be all inclusive, to get rid of people that aren't?

and these conversations are uncomfortable and, yes, to the people that it addresses, they likely are annoying.

but it makes my space feel safer. it makes me feel safer. it's allowed me to talk to now over 100 trans people in this fandom about their experiences, and made me feel less alone in this.

so yeah, i feel annoying. but i won't apologise for making my space feel safer, and i certainly won't do so to people that have shown inconsistent/no regard to the safety of these marginalised communities.

this is me ✨reclaiming my space✨ if you will

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Oh god now I’ve seen this deleted scene I feel so vindicated in the themes of my fic like wow so maybe I was picking up on something. This clip feels so important to me I wish they’d kept it in.

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i lost it, but someone made a post recently about what if it had been lily on the staircase and james rushing baby harry upstairs and how it would have changed the trajectory of the story

and now i can’t stop thinking that voldemort would have still given lily the choice to get out of the way instead of killing her outright like he had james and her sacrifice possibly would have protected both james and harry and james would have to live in a world without the love of his life but oh my god harry would have grown up so loved and so protected by his father

and james would have made sure to tell harry at every opportunity just how beautiful and extraordinary his mother was and take him to out of the wizarding world often to make sure harry was connected to the part of his mother’s world that she fought so hard for. not only to provide harry the type of upbringing that lily had wished for, but also so that james could feel closer to her in small bookshops and neighborhood parks and flower stands of local farmer’s markets because even though she was gone, he would spend his whole life loving her and honoring her memory and waiting for the day he could meet her again

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Been thinking a lot about these two scenes in GoF and how heartbreaking it must have been for Sirius. His Godson has just been attacked, not only by the return of the wizard who killed his best friend, but yet again by Peter, somewhat doubling down the betrayal he made against Lily and James.

But then, he hears that Lily and James were there. Actually sprung from the wand that murdered them to help their son. He had spent 12 years in Azkaban just wishing to see their faces one last time, to hear their voices and remember that they were real people that used to laugh with him. They saved their son again, even after death. He could not see them, but they were not lost.

So, in the aftermath Sirius stays with a horrified and grieving Harry. He insists, despite the danger that puts him in. He shifts into dog form and lays his head on Harry's stomach, feeling the slowing of his breath as he drifts to sleep, and is reminded of the last time he had done the exact same. A pregnant Lily, just starting to show, trying to stay awake while James follows through on his last Order mission before he officially resigns to stay with her and the baby.

After hours of worry, she had finally drifted to sleep, cradling her stomach with one hand and petting the tip of his ear with the other. He laid his head on her stomach, hoping, praying, to hear the door open and James to appear like he promised. The alternative is not an option. He closes his eyes and focuses on the sound of Lily's breath, straining to hear not one but two heartbeats coming from her center.

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i say this as a 12/clara enthusiast and a friend to clara stans… but I personally think every episode featuring clara would be better if river was there instead 😬

imagine the ‘be a doctor’ moment in day of the doctor with river in clara’s place, imagine more kingston + capaldi, imagine river and missy’s rapport, luna university instead of coal hill, the singing towers leading into heaven sent, river’s portrait in the confession dial, river on gallifrey.

again, I do like clara!!✌🏻much love clara stans!!!! ❤️ i just personally care about river and what a thorough completion to her arch could have looked like more than I care about clara. i feel river’s arc is a cekhov’s gun set up with no execution. the story sets up her future adventures with the doctor, reveals who she is, then suddenly drops her except for three guest appearances to wrap up loose plot threads.

if anything, this is another layer to add to your butch lesbian 12 au’s :)

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James & Lily ♥

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oh two people whose lives were so deeply entwined that their dying words echoed one another?

do you mean james “lily, take harry and go! it’s him! go! run!” potter & sirius “harry, take the prophecy, grab neville, and run!” black?

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the truth of the marauders: remus who is in love with sirius who is in love with james who is in love with lily. and peter who is in love with them all

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ummm, you know how the last unicorn is a symbol for lost innocence?

May I say the Doctor…?