#t: as the world burns | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

clumsiestgiantess · 1 year ago

Text

Erica pov of chapter nine! A friendship is forming!

(this is right after the part where Alexis controls someone to try to help her)

[Invisible friends and flying cars]

I tore down the road as fast as traffic would allow, gripping the steering wheel with whitened knuckles. Alexis was still controlling people. It wasn’t nearly as cruel as when she’d controlled me, but it was still awful. When I asked her what she was doing, the person who owned the van responded for her. I didn’t even know she could speak through someone like that! It was chilling to see, like someone possessed or sleepwalking. Had she done that to me?

As I wracked my brain trying to figure out why she hadn't given up the awful habit, I realized that I already knew she hadn't — she'd been ghost-like the first time we'd bumped into each other in the city. Of course Alexis hadn’t stopped controlling others, she needed intangibility to get around sometimes, which meant she needed a body to steal. But that wasn’t the same as what she’d done just now. Alexis had used someone, albeit to help me. She keeps trying to do good things, but never in a good way.

I yelled furiously into the empty car, trying to decide how angry I should be at her. “I can’t believe her! Why is controlling someone your solution to every problem? How could she be so careless, so irresponsi- ..ble” I finished slowly. My mind was dragged back through an earlier period of my life for a split second, startling me to silence. I’ve heard that exact question numerous times before, only it’s always directed at me.

Shaking off the memories, I let my grip relax slightly, trying to see things from Alexis' perspective. Even if I weren’t a giant, if I had the ability to tell people what to do and they were guaranteed to listen, what would I do? For one, I wouldn’t let people walk all over me. I don’t, but with powers like that, I wouldn’t have to constantly yell at people to get them to understand. And if I were in a pinch like the one I was just in with the couch, I might’ve forced those nosey employees to leave when I told them to, or done something similar to what Alexis did. I would make them take that couch all the way to my house just for annoying me.

I groaned as traffic came to a halt. My head fell tiredly against the steering wheel. “I know it’s wrong,” I mumbled, “but I guess I would control people a bit, too. Especially if I had it when I was younger.” Eagerly, I thought about how easily I could’ve been rid of my father. It had taken him a few knife wounds before he realized he shouldn’t stick around. With powers like Alexis’, I could’ve forced him out without having to fight him — before he could screw over my childhood. Or, in Alexis’ case: I can force Erica to change her goals — before she can screw over her life.

Why am I suddenly building Alexis a case? What she did to me was wrong; what she’s doing to random people is wrong. What I would’ve done to my father is.. different. He’s a terrible human being, and deserves that kind of torture. I didn’t.

The rest of the way home, I was determined to stay angry at Alexis. It’s not hypocritical; it’s doing the right thing. We’re friends, in a way, which makes it my responsibility to keep her off the wrong path, like she did for me a few nights ago. The traffic let up, and I headed for home at a more normal speed. I was surprised to find an empty cliffside when I got back.

Alexis is so much faster getting from place to place, shouldn’t she be here already? She does know the way back to the house, doesn’t she? I waited a few hours for her to return. Alexis could be stalling, lost, or just caught up with something else. There were a myriad of reasons for her to be missing, but I still felt the tiniest bit guilty about it, because she definitely didn’t know the way back. She was supposed to be following me home, but I’d made it clear that she shouldn’t be near me in the parking lot.

Once I felt my strange inner compass go off, I stepped out the back door and left it wide open. With Alexis nearby, I silently pointed inside, stepping back as the couch appeared from thin air. Alexis also reappeared and carefully placed the piece of furniture inside where the old one had been. I watched in slight amazement. Compared to Alexis, the couch in her hand and everything else seemed like toys. It was slightly surreal.

It was dark enough now that no one would immediately notice her, so she stayed visible. "Erica, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," Alexis pleaded with me from the cliffside. "It's not fair what I did. It should never have been that long, I- I just got into the habit and didn't stop…" I turned around surprisedly at the sound of Alexis’ voice hitching with tears. She leaned over the cliffside, looking down at me apologetically. The places where she touched the rock face gave way slightly beneath her weight.

“You’re not talking about today, are you?” I asked. She shook her head sorrowfully. Though Alexis can be problematic at times, I didn’t want to see her cry. She bent over the cliffside a bit further, trying to read my expression. "You.. didn't deserve it. I stole eight months of your life, and I convinced myself that you were better off because of it…" I watched silently as Alexis took a shuddering breath; it sounded like a fierce wind. "I don't want to scare you or hurt you.. I promise."

“I know you don’t,” I whispered kindly, though Alexis probably hadn’t heard me. Scrutinizing her forlorn form hovering over the cliff, I sighed and headed upstairs; I wasn’t so mean as to cast her away. It was still strange having to stand on the second floor of a house on a cliff just to talk face to face with Alexis. I can’t imagine the day I get used to it.

When I stepped onto the balcony, I found that Alexis had wandered off towards her usual way home. The moonlight gleamed off her tear-streaked face. She really is upset. Alexis must’ve thought I’d left, unwilling to talk with her. “Hey,” I called quietly, “I’m still here. I just came up here to talk to you.” Rubbing the tears from her cheeks, Alexis stumbled back over to the cliffside. I tried to reason her back to something calmer, before she got the neighbors wondering what was making all the large, sniffling noises.

“You genuinely care about me, right?” I asked her. Alexis nodded furiously. “You’re lucky that I care about you, too. We’re friends, which means we’re supposed to look out for each other. So just.. Please don’t control people anymore. It’s not right and it freaks me out.” I crossed my arms to show her I meant business. “And if I ever see you do anything like that again, even if it’s just for a few minutes, even if a person isn’t affected by it in the slightest, that’s it. You and I are done.” Alexis stared at me in shock, teary eyes lighting up. “There’s.. there’s a you and me? We’re friends?” she asked excitedly. I rolled my eyes in exasperation, though the smallest smile tugged at my lips. "That's what you got out of all this?" I questioned, "You know what, maybe there isn't a you and me after all." Alexis immediately backtracked, assuring me that she would listen to my warning.

My stomach suddenly growled and I realized that I hadn't eaten yet. "I should really go make dinner," I mused, "I haven't had anything to eat since eleven o'clock this morning. I'd order in because I really don't feel like cooking, but I did that yesterday." Alexis stood up so quickly, I barely had time to process what happened. I flinched away from her instinctively, though I don't think she noticed. "I can get us something to eat!" she exclaimed, vanishing into her own world. She was gone in an instant; her figure disintegrated into the air like static on a television screen. It was strange, and more than a bit unsettling.

Alexis was only gone a few seconds. When she returned, she held a packed sandwich in each hand. "It.. might be a bit too much, but I have these." She held up a sandwich for me. Just like everything else to do with her, the offering was unreal. Each slice of bread was about the same length as my bathroom floor — which is pretty big now that I’m living in a mansion, courtesy of the one and only resident giant. I considered her for a moment. Alexis was intent to make amends for today, a little desperate, even. "Are you trying to win me back with food?" I asked her, amused. She turned away from me slightly, shielding her embarrassed expression.

"I just.. don't want you to be mad," she finally answered me. "Then maybe you should listen to me the next time I tell you not to do something," I quipped a little too quickly. Alexis' face fell; she took the oversized sandwich back dejectedly. I realized she thought I'd rejected her offer, when I was really just making fun of her — nicely of course. I called out to her before she could take the meal back to wherever it came from. "I take bribes," I blurted, "hand that back!"

‘I take bribes’? Is that the best I can come up with, not ‘Hey, it’s alright; i’m just joking’? To my relief, Alexis belted a shocked laugh and broke off a small piece of the giant sandwich. She handed me what looked like a large crumb in her fingers, but once I took it from her, I realized that the piece was the size of my head. Again, it's unreal. We talked over dinner and later into the night. But there was still something nagging at me in the back of my mind. When Alexis had finished controlling that person, she’d told them to forget everything that had happened. I’d offered her a lame joke about something like that a while ago. I really hope she didn’t take it seriously. She.. Would she really still be controlling me? I doubted it. She had no reason to. But I had to ask.

My words stumbled out over eachother at first; I hadn’t realized how nervous I was about finding the answer. Oh god, what if she is? What if I’ve figured it out before, but she made me forget? “You’re not controlling me anymore, are you?” I shakily managed to ask, “And then making me forget?” Confusion rapidly crept across Alexis’ features. “What?” Swallowing my nerves, I tried again. “L- Like that guy in the parking lot? You made him forget about what he did.” My voice was wavering on the brink of fear, but Alexis probably couldn’t hear that. I held my breath as she slid closer over the edge of the cliff, expression melting from confusion to concern. A look of sorrowful endearment spread softly over Alexis' face.

“Why would I want to control you?” Her voice softened, worried sweetness seeping into it. “What could I possibly hope to gain from doing that to you now?” A pang of unfamiliar longing hummed through my chest. Why does she have to sound so innocent? Doesn’t she understand the power she has over me? Doesn’t she understand the awful things she can do? I could think of a few things off the top of my head she might gain from taking back my body, and even my mind, but I stayed silent.

“I only did that to make you live an easier life,” Alexis explained, “Now that I know I was only making things harder for you, why would I keep doing it?” I don’t know; you don’t have to care about how I feel. My head fell tiredly on my arms, crossed over the railing in front of me. Why would you keep doing it? Because it’s fun for you. Because I won’t yell at you or get mad at you if you keep me locked up in my own head. Because I won’t keep getting piss drunk and force you to spend the night holed up in an abandoned lot with me to keep me from accidentally killing myself. Shit. That last one’s actually a pretty good reason.

But I understood what she was trying to tell me. Alexis didn’t want to control me to drag away my destructive thoughts and actions; she was just trying to get me to think straight for once. I guess that’s a lot easier said than done. I don’t think I’ve had a decent idea in years. Alexis is trying her damn hardest just to make me feel more at ease with her. I suppose it's only fair, considering her horrible mistreatment of me. Though, it's not like anyone else who's hurt me has ever actually made it up to me; unless you count my father finally leaving me alone and never coming back. Alexis isn't really a bad person, just a little.. misguided. Like me, I guess.

“I guess that makes sense,” I eventually replied, lifting my head to see her again. “And I don’t have any strange gaps in my memory like I used to. That.. was you making me forget stuff, I think. Some people just don’t care about others’ opinions, you know?” I told her, edging cautiously around my own frightening ideas. “I just wanted to know if you listened to me about that at the very least.” Alexis nodded slowly, thinking hard. Her gaze rose to meet mine and I stilled. It was so thrilling being watched by such a gigantic stare. The feeling — it’s kinda like going to a haunted house. You know you’re going to be scared, but that’s what makes it so enticing.

Alexis’ soft look hardened slightly. “I swear on my life that I haven’t controlled you since the night you called me out on it,” she promised me, and I was struck with that weird longing all over again. The way she does that — stilling me with only a look and a promise — it’s enthralling. “I believe you.” And I really did. That time, I really did. A smile drifted across my face at her relieved expression.

“And if I need anything in the future, like.. I don’t know.. Like how you forced John to leave me alone, or when you stopped me from getting in a drunken accident a week ago, you’ll still be here, right?” Just what I realized earlier that day: her abilities were rather helpful, as unnerving as they might be. I remember the split second of chilling fear when John appeared in that cafe, and how she’d immediately taken him away. I was so scared that he’d been the one controlling me; thank god it wasn’t him. It was only her. I’d been scared of her too, for a time — until I realized she never intended for me to suffer; it was the opposite, actually.

Alexis looked over me thoughtfully, considering my question. “I’ll be around,” she assured me, “Every day I’ll come over here for a minute or two, probably right before I go to bed. I’ll come check on you, and if you need anything, you can let me know, and I’ll see what I can do. How does that sound?” Relief flooded my system, thankful that Alexis had understood, rather than question why I was being so indecisive — threatening her to never do something again, and then asking her to do it only for me.

“It sounds like the right way to help me fix my life,” I answered, “Thank you. I- I guess it was wrong of me to tell you I wanted you to stop controlling people, end of story, because I agree that it is a useful ability. So maybe you should only do it if I ask you to?” I offered hesitantly. “I don’t know, it just.. it scares me.”

Rarely have I ever in my life admitted to another person that I was scared of something. It gives people a clear idea of how to get what they want from me, and that’s something I fear- I hate- more than anything. Alexis needs to know, though. She’d already done that to me, but she doesn’t want to. That’s why I let her stick around.

Alexis must’ve noticed the upset either in my voice or expression, because her arms twitched like she wanted to bring me closer. I’ve seen her do it a few different times, and I always try to ignore it. She was so big, anywhere remotely near me is enough to be considered close. Apparently, it’s not close enough for her.

“You shouldn’t have to be scared when I do that. I want you to know for certain that I will never ever even try to control you.” Her hand slowly reached for me, and I shied away from it. Alexis’ hand alone is taller than me. She could easily pick me up and crush me or throw me — even control me. She could treat me like something small and helpless, because to her I probably am. Actually, I know I am. Alexis threatened to end my life once when she picked me up, but.. she also held me all night after one of my grand clubbing escapades, never letting me get myself hurt, or worse.

Her massive appendage inched closer, stopping right before me. Is she going to pick me up? Nervously, I leaned around Alexis’ outstretched fingers, searching her expression. “It’s alright,” she told me gently, gesturing for me to make the first contact. Fingers only a foot or so from my chest, Alexis offered me her upturned palm, almost as if she were offering me her hand. She.. is offering me her hand, it’s just gigantic.

Taking a long shaking breath, I placed my hand over the pad of her single finger, bracing for something to happen. Oh. My breath caught in my throat. I.. didn’t expect this. Alexis’ pulse rose and fell evenly beneath my palm, thrumming with warm life. Each groove of her fingerprint created a texture unique to her. I could feel my jaw drop open as I cautiously explored it, drawing over the ridges on the pad of her finger. It was mesmerizing, and there was so much — the rest of her fingers, her palm. I could’ve spent hours tracing every detail. However, Alexis’ voice startled me from my thoughts.

“I’ll be back tomorrow, to check on you like you asked.” She took away her hand, carefully pulling it back to her side. I could barely even acknowledge her. I was still partially in shock from the moments prior. Alexis stepped back a bit, smiling at my dumbfounded expression. She waved goodbye and stepped away to her own world. About five quiet minutes passed before I moved again. “Goddamn. If only I was sober while I was in her hand,” I mused. Wait, I- want to be in her hands? I.. I guess I do. I won’t though, that’s- How would I even ask to do that?

What is it like, living in her world? How completely and utterly impossible would an entire world of her entrancing scale be like? To a person like me, so small in comparison, it's hard to try imagining the feeling. The fleeting moments when I held just a small part of Alexis' gigantic form were exhilarating. My heart's still racing. Did her heart speed up around me, too? I thought back to the way her pulse thrummed beneath my fingers, but I couldn't tell if it was any faster than usual.

"What a day," I huffed aloud. Dealing with someone the size of an office building is exhausting. I stepped back inside, turned off the lights, and flopped down onto my bed. I didn't even bother to change out of my clothes; I was asleep in seconds.

It was a strange but surprisingly welcome experience having Alexis come by my house every day, even if most days it was only a few minutes. The thought that she cared enough about me to travel through a whole other world just to ensure that I was doing ok was so touching. Albeit, that was a normal thing for Alexis. She’d visited me every day to control me, too. Obviously I was less sentimental about those visits.

It wasn’t until a blazingly hot spring day that we crossed paths for more than just a brief visit. My car had overheated in the sun. The heat was unusual for the time of year, even if it was closer to summer than spring. In fact, I think it might’ve broken some sort of heat record, but I hadn’t realized it at the time. What was worse, I was on a lesser-known road when it broke down — meaning there weren’t a lot of people out there, and even the ones who were I didn’t particularly feel like getting in a car with. So, I stayed where I was, desperately trying to search up a reliable towing company as my phone became hot enough to burn. Then, my phone overheated and shut off too.

“No, no, no! Come on!” I nearly threw my phone to the ground, but decided against it at the last second. Instead, I stuffed it angrily in the console and stepped outside to escape the baking interior of the car. “Damnit, I should’ve put the top down.” I’d changed my mind at the last second, not wanting to mess up my hair. I paced back and forth, too hot to sit down. Finally, I heard a familiar voice somewhere above me.

“Erica? What are you doing out here?” I craned my neck towards the sky. The rustle of Alexis kneeling down settled over the empty grass that stretched out beside me. “Everything died in the heat!” I explained, “My phone, my car, everything!” “Well, not you at least,” Alexis commented, and suddenly Everything felt a bit cooler, like a cloud had covered the sun, though there weren’t any in the sky. “Is that better?” she asked me. “Yeah, a little. What did you do?” I squinted upwards through the sunlight. “I just have my hand over you for some shade. It’s invisible, but not intangible, so it’ll still block the heat.” Glancing downwards, I expected the shadow of a hand to eclipse mine, but I realized shortly after that Alexis never cast a shadow except when she was visible.

“Speaking of intangibility… Is this one of those emergency moments? Should I go get someone to help tow your car?” It was briefly tempting, but I realized that Alexis wouldn’t be seeing through the person’s view, she’d be seeing the car from above. A video of someone crashing a remote-controlled car that had violently shattered dashed through my mind, and I thought better of it. “No, I- I’d be too nervous if you were controlling someone who was driving.” I readied a few reasons — armed myself with potential fears and rationales to convince her. “Ok, let’s think of a different way.”

I blinked, shook. Usually it took a lot more convincing for her to change her mind. “If you’re willing,” she began, “I have another idea, but it might be worse.” I sighed. Worse? “What is it?” “Your mansion’s not too far of a walk for me. I could easily get you there.” “Like.. you’re gonna take my whole car with me in it?” I questioned, unsure. A brief silence, then “Yeah, that’s what I meant.” Damn, I thought she was thinking of holding me, alone. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head since I’d touched her finger on the balcony. She would have to be so gentle to keep me safe like that, but add a car to the mix and she’d have to keep an almost crushing grip to hold the vehicle aloft — much less comforting.

“Did you want to try it?” Alexis asked hesitantly. I really wanted to ask if she could just take me, but the whole reason she offered me help was because of my car. It’ll seem weird if I ask her to carry me without it, right? Someday it might not be, and someday I’ll ask.. hopefully she’ll say yes. For now, I’ll have to stick to imagining it. “Yeah, but you better put it back down if I don’t like it.” “I will.” I slid back into the oven of my car and sat down, slamming the door behind me. I’d barely taken a breath when the car lurched into the air. “HOLY FUCK!” I shrieked as the hood tipped down slightly, throwing me forwards. “Alexis! Alexis put my car down right now!” A second later, I felt the back wheels thud down on the earth again.

Throwing open the car door, I stumbled out onto the grass. “What the hell is your problem?!” “W- What?” “You almost gave me a fucking heart attack! Why’d you pick it up like that?!” Alexis stammered for a moment, “How else am I supposed to get my hand beneath the car? I have to tilt it up to get my palm beneath it. If I try to grab it from above, I’m going to dent the sides.” I grumbled, annoyed that just the one little movement had already scared me. “We don’t have to do this. I’ll wait with you until-” “No, no. Just.. I’ll just shut my eyes.” Maybe I should take a rain check on the whole ‘being held hundreds of stories in the air by a single hand’ idea.

I made my way back into the car and Alexis waited patiently until I told her I was ready. Vertigo seized my stomach, but I refused to open my eyes. A few moments later, the car evened out. “Erica, are you still alright?” I nodded vigorously, eyes squeezed closed. “I’m ok, just focus on walking. Don’t you dare trip or I will personally end you.” A rumble hummed in the air. It took me a second to realize Alexis had chuckled at my threat. I wanted to tell her that I was serious about that, but didn’t want to distract her, so I sat in silence the whole way back. The only sound was the slight creak of metal against her fingers, which was both terrifying and reassuring at once.

At last, I felt the whole car lurch again, and I cautiously opened my eyes. As if by magic, I sat in the driveway of my own home. I stepped out of the car, eyes wide. “You seem surprised,” Alexis commented from above me. “I wasn’t sure I’d make it back in one piece,” I mocked. She was quiet afterwards. “I wouldn’t have hurt you…”

God, why does she take all my jokes seriously? It hurt hearing her sound so concerned over my passive jabbing. “Hey, you know I’m joking, right?” I asked, turning to stare up at the empty space. More silence. This would be so much easier if I could see her. Not that she should appear in broad daylight. I wouldn’t want her to get caught now that we’ve finally worked out something nice for us. “Yeah, it just takes a second for me to recognize it.” I wasn’t sure if that was the truth, but either way I was grateful for what she’d done and offered to chat with her for a while before we went off on our own thing, leaving me alone with my thoughts yet again.

#friendship BEFORE it burned down #g/t #giant tiny #other-world universe

18 notes · View notes