#despair for me. ╱ in character.

[despairforme]

Sunday smooches for Nnoi 😌🫶

— @bleachbrainrotbro

❝ Smooches? I wanted 'ta get my dick sucked 'n all I'm gettin' are fuckin' lame ass smooches? ❞ / @bleachbrainrotbro .

[despairforme]

He didn't mind that she'd been scared of him at first ( or at least intimidated by him ). He WANTED to be intimidating. He would never be friendly for no reason, but he wasn't going to display aggression towards someone who didn't bring that out of him ( it was very easy to make him aggressive though ). He chuckled to her "woman's tuition" comment. Considering how man times he'd been called a misogynist... Her woman's tuition might be off. Not that he'd tell her that. Why call himself out?

When she said she wasn't afraid of much these days - He was surprised. He wondered how it was possible to be that physically weak without being scared. Being defenceless... It was one of his nightmares. Feeling weak was the WORST, which was why he hated being sick.

She was afraid ( or at least made uncomfortable ) of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer. Nnoitra knew that no such guy would dare approach her as long as she was with him. Maybe someone who was shit-faced drunk. They'd soon fucking regret it. The last thing Nnoitra would allow was someone hitting on his girl.

❝ Ya can call me. ❞ He said, reassuring her. ❝ Or if ya know yer gonna be walkin' somewhere alone, ya can lemme know, 'n I'mma come walk ya. ❞ Unless he was busy at work. Protecting her was pretty much the ONE service he could offer in a relationship, so of course he was eager to do that. He needed to be needed. Otherwise there was no point, right? Otherwise he was just fucking useless.

❝ Real men are protective 'a their girl. ❞ Nnoitra explained to her with a grin.

she can believe that hearing such a thing might be a first for him. he's quite the intimidating individual, and she remembers feeling that way in the beginning of their friendship. still, agatha was somehow able to push past that feeling and was able to become friends with nnoitra. " well, i kind of was, at first, but... i don't know, i just had a gut feeling that i could trust you. woman's intuition, if people still call it that. " she says with a soft laugh. regardless of what it was called, it was a feeling agatha listened to, and it very rarely steered her wrong.

" oh, i'm not afraid of much these days. i still run into pushy guys that try to get my number or try to get me to go home with them but, " agatha scrunches her nose a little, " usually they back off after a bit. there's only been a few instances where that has made me uncomfortable. just... guys who won't take 'no' or 'sorry, i'm not interested' for an answer. " not that any one of them have tried to do anything to her, it just made agatha wary, especially whenever she had to walk anywhere at night.

sometimes she'd have the misfortune of having to walk home after work.

agatha's smile returns and she looks back up at nnoitra. " but i'd be sure to call or text if someone just won't leave me alone. " she assures him, giving a nod. she would very much like to feel like someone has her back in moments like that, rather than worrying that being so firm and insistent won't work. agatha knows she would feel safer in that moment of him coming to her rescue. nnoitra never gave her a reason to feel or be scared, so why wouldn't she feel safe when they're together? he's never raised his voice to her in anger, never attempted to hurt her physically or emotionally. so no, she feels very comfortable and at ease when she's near him.

[yoldels]

Playing through Sdr2 for the first time with some friends! We all agreed that everyone BUT Akane is transgender for the bit LMAO

[despairforme]

What the fuck is up losers??

[despairforme]

Nobody has donated cinnamon rolls to him.

[despairforme]

Oh, her cousin was a woman? Well, that wouldn't help her then. Two chicks together weren't much safer than if they went alone. She sounded quite different from Adelha, who was the motherly type. This chick sounded like she'd get herself into a lot of trouble. Nnoitra didn't much care for that type of woman. Women who tried to be dominant and thought of themselves as strong? No fucking thanks. He liked his women feminine.

❝ I ain't never seen a woman sign up 'fer a fight, so I dunno if it's allowed, but she can try. ❞ There would be no point though, since they had no female fighters at the club, meaning she would have no opponent. She obviously couldn't beat a man. ❝ Ya think I'd get along with her, huh? Mah, we'll see when I meet her. ❞ He seriously doubted he'd get along with a woman like that. If she'd been a guy? Then sure. But yeah. He preferred girly women. All his friends were like that to varying degrees.

Adelha proceeded to ask him more questions. He certainly wasn't used to getting interrogated like this, but since it was about his job, he didn't mind at all. He was engaged in the conversation. He liked being called impressive. ❝ Oh, we got a couple 'a regulars, but I bet they do other jobs as well, 'cause they don't get paid as much as me. ❞ This was a reason why he wasn't friendly with ANY of the other fighters ( except for one ). Nnoitra's paycheck was no joke. His manager was afraid Nnoitra would leave to go fight professionally in MMA, and so he tried to secure his loyalty to the club by showering him in money. Nnoitra had no complaints about that. ❝ I only hang out with one other fighter, Ikkaku. He's cool. ❞ He was one of Nnoitra's only male friends. A pretty chill guy who could handle Nnoitra's dominant personality.

She asked him yet more questions, but this time related to his missing eye. Nnoitra lifted his vacant hand to touch the fabric. Yeah, for sure, missing an eye was a disadvantage. It was a weakness his opponents tried to exploit. He looked at the bowls of stew, his mouth watering. He was so ready for food!

❝ I've been livin' my whole adult life with only one eye, so I'm used 'ta it. It don't bother me no more. ❞ At least not when it came to fighting. ❝ I used 'ta have more pain in my bad eye, 'n my opponents always tried 'ta punch me in 'da eye. ❞ He tapped his eyepatch. ❝ But 's better now, 'n ain't like it's easy 'ta hit me up here anyway, 'cause I'm tall. ❞ In the past, if he'd taken a hit to the eye... The pain had been dizzying. Enough to make him want to throw up. Now that his bad eye had been removed? It wasn't painful anymore. Now it was almost an advantage to have his opponents go for his missing eye, since it was so goddamn fucking predictable. ❝ I ain't never worn no glass eye. Back in 'da days I couldn't afford 'ta get my eyeball removed 'n have a glass eye fitted. ❞ And now? Now his eye-socket was completely ruined and he'd need major reconstructive surgery if he was ever going to get a glass eye. Nah, he'd much rather just wear the eye-patch.

Adelha keeps her attention to Nnoitra even as she carefully moves a sleeping Wesson so the puppy stays comfy and dozing. Her steps soon taking her to where the beef stew and bread rolls sat waiting for them. A warmth there in her words as she chuckles a bit. "I promise to bring my own entourage when I go to cheer you on. Verne on the other hand... She might try to sign up for a fight of her own if they let her. Verne is the kind of woman that is very dominate and wild to live her life riding her motorcycle from one adventure to the next. I think you'd get along well with her enough to be drinking buddies."

Adelha takes a moment for her gaze to linger on Nnoitra's eyepatch. A sadness there before she speaks further. "So you've been a top fighter at Huecho Mundo for years? That's very impressive for a fighter who just walked in one night. Yet I have to wonder if the other cage fighters are regulars or if they circulate around to the other establishments like Huecho Mundo. Do any of them hang out with you after work to chill with some beers or play a few rounds of blackjack?"

The lady pauses to soon have two bowls of beef stew waiting as well as her glass of scotch for her to drain and hum at the taste. Her smile soon there as she points to Nnoitra. "Come to think of it... Nnoitra. You mentioned to me a while back that you got hurt as a teenager. Which lead to you wearing that eyepatch you always have on. Meaning that whoever fights you in the cage would try to take advantage of that. How many times has someone tried to do just that only for you to hand them their own ass? Or do you instead wear a glass eye to Huecho Mundo so new opponents wouldn't be aware to try such?"

Adelha seems keenly interested in finding out more about Nnoitra's night to night interactions at his job. Or for Nnoitra to tell her about how good he is at said job. Her gaze to his face for her to still be smiling at Nnoitra. A genuine interest in someone she considers to be a valued friend and interesting person. While Wesson gives a soft growl before he rolls over while still snoozing on the couch. The puppy obviously enjoying the home away from home nap time.

[despairforme]

What's up with all the decorations...

[despairforme]

Sure... Everyone ELSE can have some. But not him. Fucking bullshit.

[despairforme]

What's the point if his hard work doesn't show??

[despairforme]

Fucking Christmas... The season where he bangs his head in low-hanging ornaments and those FUCKING GARLANDS !!

[despairforme]

How to eat a banana in public without looking gay? Easy. Just eat it with the peel on. Straight af.

[despairforme]

How weak can someone be 'n still SURVIVE?

[despairforme]

Damn, she really thought of herself as a fucking dumbass, huh? Who the hell thought they could take their own life by accident? Dying was WAY more difficult than people thought. Nnoitra would know. He'd half-heartedly tried to get himself killed quite a few times. That ONE time he got the closest actually hadn't been on purpose. Somehow, he was still alive. Even after getting fucking shot in the head. It was a miracle he hadn't asked for. Well --- at that time, he had been glad he hadn't died but, now? Now he figured it would've been better if he'd just kicked the bucket. The last few years sure as shit hadn't been worth it.

He exhaled an almost-laugh because yeah, he did like it when others talked themselves down.

❝ I don't. ❞ He replied when she asked what sort of Christian didn't go to church. ❝ Does that mean I don't count? ❞ Probably. He at least wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. He wasn't even sure if he was a Christian anymore. Maybe it was more that he wanted to be. It was the last bit of connection to his mother. Not to mention, the prospect of there being a hell for him to suffer in once he died... Yeah, he liked the thought of that.

❝ I was thinkin' 'a gettin' laid instead. ❞ He grinned to her invitation. Nah, spending that many hours around people of faith? He was not ready for that sort of hardcore commitment. Picking up some random chick or dude who were lonely around Christmas and fucking them was WAY more tempting. There were plenty of lonely people during the holidays. Easy pickings.

    "Yeah, fingers crossed no one will actually succeed in taking my own stupid baka life and I won't kill myself by complete accident," Vivian nods rather absentmindedly. Truth be told, the only reason she proceeded to throw in 'stupid baka' as adjectives was because she thought it would be funny and might elicit a laugh from Nnoitra... provided, of course, he had seen that one Kafka meme floating about and understood what she was referencing. At the same time, though, it's possible he wasn't as chronically as online as her, to the point where for all she knew, he may simply think she was a weeb.

    ...Regardless, after registering his next question, it doesn't take long for Vivian to blink. Goodness, was he running out of conversation topics or something? Well, she supposes if nothing else, he at least didn't decide to talk about the weather. "Uh... I think the better question is, 'What Christian doesn't go to church'? To answer your query, though, I do try to go every Sunday," Vivian finally states. Naturally, there were instances where she completely overslept or forgot it was even Sunday, but for the most part, she did usually attend Sunday services.

    "Oh, and I also go to my church's Midnight Mass every Christmas Eve," Vivian adds. "All are welcome, of course. Then again, I don't suppose you're feeling up to joining us this year?" Sure enough, she'll then proceed to turn, cocking a curious brow upwards. Honestly, Vivian doesn't know whether or not he would want to be surrounded by fellow Christians, but there would at least be free wine and bread; still, he had to show up by 11:30 PM and stay until 1:30 AM, meaning he might not want to go.

[despairforme]

Hurt his head by thinking too hard. The question he tried to answer was: If he bites his tongue, what will break first, his tongue (hierro) or his teeth??

[despairforme]

Great, but it just made him hungry.

[despairforme]

Realizing that the reason why you can't have nice things is because you don't DESERVE nice things.