#despair for me. ╱ in character.

[despairforme]

What's the point if his hard work doesn't show??

[despairforme]

He didn't mind that she'd been scared of him at first ( or at least intimidated by him ). He WANTED to be intimidating. He would never be friendly for no reason, but he wasn't going to display aggression towards someone who didn't bring that out of him ( it was very easy to make him aggressive though ). He chuckled to her "woman's tuition" comment. Considering how man times he'd been called a misogynist... Her woman's tuition might be off. Not that he'd tell her that. Why call himself out?

When she said she wasn't afraid of much these days - He was surprised. He wondered how it was possible to be that physically weak without being scared. Being defenceless... It was one of his nightmares. Feeling weak was the WORST, which was why he hated being sick.

She was afraid ( or at least made uncomfortable ) of guys who wouldn't take no for an answer. Nnoitra knew that no such guy would dare approach her as long as she was with him. Maybe someone who was shit-faced drunk. They'd soon fucking regret it. The last thing Nnoitra would allow was someone hitting on his girl.

❝ Ya can call me. ❞ He said, reassuring her. ❝ Or if ya know yer gonna be walkin' somewhere alone, ya can lemme know, 'n I'mma come walk ya. ❞ Unless he was busy at work. Protecting her was pretty much the ONE service he could offer in a relationship, so of course he was eager to do that. He needed to be needed. Otherwise there was no point, right? Otherwise he was just fucking useless.

❝ Real men are protective 'a their girl. ❞ Nnoitra explained to her with a grin.

she can believe that hearing such a thing might be a first for him. he's quite the intimidating individual, and she remembers feeling that way in the beginning of their friendship. still, agatha was somehow able to push past that feeling and was able to become friends with nnoitra. " well, i kind of was, at first, but... i don't know, i just had a gut feeling that i could trust you. woman's intuition, if people still call it that. " she says with a soft laugh. regardless of what it was called, it was a feeling agatha listened to, and it very rarely steered her wrong.

" oh, i'm not afraid of much these days. i still run into pushy guys that try to get my number or try to get me to go home with them but, " agatha scrunches her nose a little, " usually they back off after a bit. there's only been a few instances where that has made me uncomfortable. just... guys who won't take 'no' or 'sorry, i'm not interested' for an answer. " not that any one of them have tried to do anything to her, it just made agatha wary, especially whenever she had to walk anywhere at night.

sometimes she'd have the misfortune of having to walk home after work.

agatha's smile returns and she looks back up at nnoitra. " but i'd be sure to call or text if someone just won't leave me alone. " she assures him, giving a nod. she would very much like to feel like someone has her back in moments like that, rather than worrying that being so firm and insistent won't work. agatha knows she would feel safer in that moment of him coming to her rescue. nnoitra never gave her a reason to feel or be scared, so why wouldn't she feel safe when they're together? he's never raised his voice to her in anger, never attempted to hurt her physically or emotionally. so no, she feels very comfortable and at ease when she's near him.

[yoldels]

Playing through Sdr2 for the first time with some friends! We all agreed that everyone BUT Akane is transgender for the bit LMAO

[lonelyzarquon]

Kathryn Hahn as Clare Tiny Beautiful Things (2023) | 1.01 Pilot

[despairforme]

Where the fuck is his sports!au, huh?!

[despairforme]

That was exactly the reaction he wanted. Just something simple. No long speech about how SORRY she felt for him. There was nothing Nnoitra hated more than pity. She didn't dismiss him either. She just acknowledged him, and then moved onto a different subject. Nnoitra felt surprisingly relieved. It wasn't often he talked this much about himself.

Nnoitra took the spoon, and began to eat. The flavour was rich and warm. Of course he would eat ALL the pieces of beef first. Meat > Vegetables any day of the week. What? He needed the protein.

❝ Oh, yeah, 'daz him alright. Just don't call him bald, he thinks he's wearin' a buzzcut. ❞ Nnoitra laughed. ❝ He works at the club. ❞ And he was one of Nnoitra's only male friends ( strangely enough ). He supposed other dudes simply could not deal with his alpha energy. ❝ I'd hook ya up with him, but I don't think he's single. ❞ Nnoitra grinned. Yeah, Adelha REALLY needed to date someone. She clearly loved taking care of people, so why didn't she devote her energy into taking care of a boyfriend? That was a mystery to Nnoitra.

Adelha listens to look sad at the end. But she soon shakes her head to then hand Nnoitra a spoon for his stew. "I'm glad your missing eye doesn't cause you any more pain. But now I'm really looking forward to seeing you at your best in the ring."

Adelha has several bites of the stew to then hum in pure enjoyment. The lady soon grinning openly. "Perfect. Just the right amount of spices and vegetables to balance out the beef. Especially when I added extra beef to it for us." Adelha chuckles to have more of the stew and then pause. Looking like something just struck her. "Wait a moment. You mentioned someone named Ikkaku? I feel like I've heard that name before somewhere. But it wasn't at my shop."

The lady thinks for a good long moment as she enjoys dipping a bread roll into the stew to munch on. But she soon has a realization to then look quite surprised. "It was when I picked my cousin Matvei up from his job at the fitness center! He mentioned that someone named Ikkaku Madarame came in for a job interview. Bald but seriously toned with muscles like he lifted weights. Would that be the Ikkaku you mentioned that works with you?"

[despairforme]

It's been what? Four? Five years since he got a New Years kiss.

[despairforme]

nnoitra: why do YOU got a date n i dont?? byakuya: because you are literally the worst nnoitra: nnoitra: nnoitra: fact

[despairforme]

Ya gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me.......

[despairforme]

Sunday smooches for Nnoi 😌🫶

— @bleachbrainrotbro

❝ Smooches? I wanted 'ta get my dick sucked 'n all I'm gettin' are fuckin' lame ass smooches? ❞ / @bleachbrainrotbro .

[despairforme]

What the fuck is up losers??

[despairforme]

Nobody has donated cinnamon rolls to him.

[despairforme]

What's up with all the decorations...

[despairforme]

Sure... Everyone ELSE can have some. But not him. Fucking bullshit.

[despairforme]

Ugh, what the FUCK was this shit, huh? Why was he suddenly thinking about the past? Sure, it was okay to remember the past, but don't fucking go and wallow in it, like some miserable bitch. He'd already told himself that he had MOVED ON. It was true. He had.

HE HAD MOVED ON OKAY!?

Moved on ages ago, actually. After all, wasn't it HE who had ended things with Grimmjow? Yeah, that's fucking right. So stop comparing everyone to him. Stop thinking that anyone else would be a downgrade. It's not as if Grimmjow had been perfect. Nnoitra tried to remember the reasons why he'd left him.

Then he decided he'd be better off NOT thinking too much about that. Move on. Just move the fuck on already.

[despairforme]

His question, just like it was meant to - brought a light flush to her face. He hadn't expected her to answer so straight-forwardly and quickly though. She went straight for it, and answered yes. Well, granted, he had sort of trapped her, hadn't he? She was too polite to say "no". Still... She hadn't needed to take it that far. Seemed like she really meant it. She thought he could be better looking if he dressed better and took better care of his hair, huh? YEAH, she was probably right about that. Too bad he simply gave 0 fucks about his appearance. And his wardrobe was meant to be comfortable, not stylish.

She was surprisingly passionate about the subject, even going as far as swearing ( he hadn't heard that from her before? ).

Another thing he had never heard before was someone calling him nice and smart. "And everything that" - he wondered what that meant. Honestly, he was pretty stunned by this whole ass confession that he was getting. He could tell she wasn't joking, so it wasn't funny.

He could tell from her expression that she regretted saying all of that, and she proceeded to apologize. She hadn't insulted him, so no need for that. It was all good. Was she embarrassed because she CLEARLY liked him more than he liked her? That was just a temporary problem for her, since once she got to know him better, the image she had of him would shatter. He wasn't nice, and he wasn't smart. Good looking? Mah, if he fit her taste there was nothing he could do to change that. He wasn't going to tell her that she'd change her mind. It was inevitable.

❝ 'S all good. ❞ Unlike her, he wasn't dramatic about this scene. ❝ I ain't gonna complain 'bout this ego boost. ❞ What kind of drama queen would do that? All she'd done was be nice to him ( even if her kindness was misplaced and misguided ). He wondered... What he'd done to make her have this image of him. Instead of telling her that she was wrong about him, he should take advantage of her thinking he was a good guy. ❝ Even if ya be hatin' on my style. ❞ He laughed, tugging at his shabby hoodie, as if he was offended that she didn't like it.

He hoped she hadn't expected him to say; I feel the same about you. Sure, he liked her, but he didn't have that strong feelings. Not to match hers.

Nunnally nodded excitedly: --

“Yes, it needs a trim. Not too much, though.” – she was imagining all different possibilities for styling his hair – “I like it long.” – she finally decided, and then for a short moment she considered to go out of her comfort zone and suggesting Nnoitra to use some conditioner. His hair was, somewhat, dry (but still pretty), but she disregarded this idea. After all, what did she truly know about hair care?

Yes, Nunnally could imagine him in a perfectly crafted suit, in a nice ponytail. Nnoi would fit the rest of guests so well. Why did he think he would not? In her mind, he could look like a navy officer from these old paintings...

And then they discussed his job. Nunnally got really worried about him. She’d seen cage fighting. Or at least she thought she had. One of her former dates had taken her to see one. Assuming she would enjoy gambling (as much as he did). But she hated it. Yet Nunnally was not to tell Nnoitra about her past experinec. He seemed too proud about it. Men! She would never understand them. She had stopped years ago, anyway.

His work embarrassed her. But not because Nnoi did what he did. But because of the implications she didn’t like (though perhaps he wouldn't care about them?).

And then when she openly and naively expressed them to Nnoi, he started to…laugh…and laughed more and more…and more!

When he started, Nunnally at first felt offended. She meant well. She didn’t want to insult him. But as his laughter continued, she didn’t find it in herself to be (remain) annoyed. Her lips involuntary formed a smile, and at some point she even let a few giggles out.

But also this situation made her realize something else. That Nnoitra didn’t see himself as she did. That he was…uncertain of his own appearance?

And yet his last question came as a surprise. Did she find him good-looking? Why was he even asking her about it? If he intended to embarrass her, it was not the right way, though: --

“Yes, I do.” – she said gently; her cheeks dusting pink – “I think you have it all to be good-looking and interesting. You’re just hiding it under these shubby clothes and messy hair. I…” – now she was truly embarrassed that she was lecturing him what he should – or rather should not wear.

“I…I…I can even understand why you don’t want an average look…but damn it Nnoi…” – a curse sounded so artificial on her lips that it again made her want to stop. But she was too agitated and since she had already gone that far – “Yes, Nnoi I do find you good-looking. And nice…”

“…and smart…and…and…”

“…and everything that….”

“…and…and you’ll see…you’ll see what a perfect eye-candy you’d be…when I am done with you…!” – and then her anxiety took over. She stopped. Looked at him in some despair as if she expected him to stand up and leave. Well, if he did, she would understand it. She would deserve it for what she said.

“I…I am sorry, Nnoi. I shouldn’t have. I had not right…” – her voice apologetic; guilt and shame clearly audible in it.