#honestly. I would not mind at all if ppl sent in requests so I could practice drawing diff characters

[vanibear]

skitters around like a beast. Hii ❤️ok im going 2 go ramble in the tags now👍

[drakestwin]

hi sweetie! i wanted to request anything with aj honestly, maybe like him struggling to confess his feelings or something like that? tysm in advance, feel free to add whatever you want 💗 no pressure 🤚

“Let me love you”

Summary: Aj wants you to love him but hes not sure how to tell you....

Warnings: None :0

a/n: like i said you guys are the absolute sweetest. if you send me a request or like any of my shit i love you with all my heart 😭 also whoever sent this request is the best cause theres not enough stories of aj and i’m in love with him!

Ajs pov:

I was sitting on a chair during set waiting for the rest of the beta squad to get here. i was waiting for a little bit but i was also waiting for y/n and filly to get here since they also were gonna be in our vid.

i had known y/n since i first started youtube and making vids with chunkz. she was in our videos and was well known by everyone. i had liked her back then and i feel the feelings coming back. i know people can tell since they always have to open their mouths and say something in the comments.

when everyone finally got there we got sorted into teams. basically the video we were filming was guessing the police officer. we all got situated and obviously i sat next to her. (😝)

your pov:

i was on set to film a beta squad video. i’ve been in some videos and the past and ofc ppl love me. one small thing i noticed were the comments about me and aj so i want to keep my eye on him. i do like him and i figured he liked me too by the comments 🤷‍♀️.

i arrived on set and gave everyone a hug. lastly, i went up to aj and surprisingly he let me hug him so that suddenly made me remember the comments and keep an eye out. i sat down and waited for everyone to get their stuff on so we could start!

when the video started i took a quick glance at aj and noticed him staring at me but i ignored it and decided to ask the people in front of us questions.

time skip..

ajs pov:

we just finished filming the video and i was lowkey exhausted but since i didn’t have a license i had to wait till sharky was done since i came with him. (let’s pretend they all live together still cause i miss when they did😓)

while i was sitting on a chair, y/n came up to me. “hey you want me to take you home i’m already taking niko?” she said. i sat there for a minute but finally snapped out of it. “yeah sure ofc” i said and shot up. i looked next to me and saw chunkz snickering at me. i flipped him off and followed her and niko to the car.

niko lets me sit in the front so i sat there and played music i knew y/n likes 😝. i looked at her for a sec and wanted to tell her right then and there that i liked her but niko was in the back and i was very very nervous.

your pov:

i was driving both niko and aj back to our house (btw you guys also live there pretend ur close with one of the best squad members and they let you live there 😘) i pulled up and waited till both of them got out so i could lock the door. while they were both getting out i made eye contact with aj and lowkey got butterflies cause he’s such a cutie.

i always wanted to know if aj really did like me based off the comments i read and the videos i see. i mean who wouldn’t (jk unlesssssss) he seemed like he did but i wasn’t gonna make the first move. if he initiated it i would obviously say yes.

ajs pov:

it’s been like two hours and all i’ve been doing in my room is debating on whether or not i wanna tell y/n how i feel about her. it’s taken me a couple of weeks to to even acknowledge the feelings i had towards her and now i think i finally made my decision.

i got up out of my bed and finally decided to go and walk to her room. when i made it to her door i knocked on it and quietly stood there waiting for an answer. when she finally opened the door she looked at me and said “hey aj, what’s up?” i quickly answered back “uhm… i wanna tell you something that’s been on my mind for a little while.”

she let me in her room and told me to sit on her bed and sat next to me. “so what’s up” she asked me curiously. “i don’t really know how to say this , i’m not rlly good at it but i’ve had feeling for you for a while and i just wanted to get that of my chest it’s fine if you don’t like me back-“ i ranted but quickly got cut off by a pair of lips on mine.

“who said i didn’t like you back” she giggled at me. i blushed and said “sooooo” i said nervously. “ofc ill be ur gf 😝” she said and i hugged her while she went to lay down with me.

———————————————

HEY GUYS THIS IS ANOTHER FIC BUT I LOWKEY THINK ITS BUTT. anyways idk if this is good or not i really rushed cause i knew j had to get a knew fic out but here it is for you guys 🙏🙏🙏

i rlly do hope you guys like it and ignore how many times i used emojis okay. some parts are sarcastic too 🥲🥲

[aanoia]

arms

Sirius Black x reader

Song; arms by Christina Perri

Words; 2019

Warnings; Sirius :)

I may have went a little overboard with the wedding but oh well

Please send in some requests (for ppl who have already requested I'm working on them !!)

I never thought that you'd be the one to hold my heart

But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

It was no secret to anyone in Hogwarts that Sirius Black hated Slytherins. He had vowed to himself to never interact with one if not in the circumstance of an argument or prank. He’d honestly say he hated Slytherins more than he loved his best friends, and he would never ever, ever change his mind that they were evil. 

Imagine the boy's surprise when he looked up from his food and his eyes momentarily caught sight of the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen. Her hair fell perfectly around her face as her eyes shined. She had the most beautiful smile and the cutest nose that scrunched up as she laughed with her friends. Everything about the girl put him in a trance, that was until his world was shook as he saw the color of her tie. How could something so beautiful be associated with something so ugly?

You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

You put your arms around me and I'm home

Sirius’ body instantly relaxed as a familiar pair of arms wrapped around his torso. Y/n softly kissed in between his shoulder blades and sighed as she relished in his warmth. He dropped the letter he had received from his parents and put his hands upon hers, squeezing gently.

“Hello there, Siri.” Y/n greeted, her voice muffled by Sirius’ jumper.

He laughed softly, “Hello, love. What’s up?”

Sirius felt her shoulders move up in a shrug, “Missed you, is all.” She mumbled and his heart warmed. The sorting hat had to have made a mistake because this girl was no Slytherin, she was an angel sent from the heavens.

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around

“I’m sorry, Y/n/n. I just can’t do this.” Sirius said with tears in his eyes. He watched as the love of his life wiped her own tears off her cheeks and gave him a broken smile.

“Come back to me when you’re ready, yeah?” 

Sirius shook his head, “It’s not like that this time. I’m not coming back.”

“You say that every time.”

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

Sirius clutched the chest of his jumped tightly, gritting his teeth in an attempt to keep his sobs silent. His heart felt as it was being choked as the lump in his throat grew. The cool air of the night brushed its fingers through Sirius’ hair and he looked to the sky with blurry eyes, resisting the urge to just scream until his lungs gave out. 

Trapped in his own bubble, he missed the sound of footsteps walking up the stairs of the astronomy tower. He missed the door opening and the loud thud of an old, hardcover book hitting the ground. All he knew was the moment familiar arms wrapped around his shoulders he broke and he finally let the sobs leave his throat.

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Y/n quietly asked her boyfriend as he silently watched his friends play chess by the fire.

He turned his head with a small smile, “Whatever do you mean, beautiful?”

Y/n sighed and grabbed his hand, “You play with your necklace when you’re stressed out. You’ve been fiddling with it all day, Siri.”

Sirius’ smile fell and his head dropped, “It just sucks.”

Y/n gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into her chest. “What sucks, my love?”

Sirius let out a dramatic sigh, “Everything. My parents. Sch- wait, how are you in here?” He asked abruptly, sitting up to look his girlfriend in the face.

She smirked, “I have my ways.”

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

“What’s so special about her, Pads? You’ve never let a girl do this to you.” James asked Sirius as they cleaned up after Quidditch practice.

Sirius smiled as he got a familiar glint in his eyes, “She’s my Lily, Prongs. She’s my everything.”

James laughed and shook his head, sighing to himself, “Never thought I’d see my best friend genuinely be in love with a girl. I’m happy for you, mate.”

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved

I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

“Sirius, you need to stop!” Y/n yelled, the rain soaking her hair, she couldn’t tell what was raindrops and what was her own tears.

“No! No, I won’t! I’m done, this isn’t working!” He sobbed, stumbling back.

“Sirius, goddamnit, I love you! I fucking love you!”

He shook his head bitterly, “No, no you don’t. The two people who are supposed to love me unconditionally kicked me out for fucks sake! No one fucking loves me, Y/n! No one!”

“I do!” She reasoned. “I do. I love you and I get it. I get why you don’t think anyone can love you but I do, Siri. Please.”

You put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

Sirius fell to his knees, his body shaking, he could barely hear her over the rain and blood rushing to his head. She knelt in front of him and wrapped her arms around his body, holding on impossibly tight.

“I need you to, please, just let me love you. I need you to- Fuck, Sirius, I need you.” She begged and he threw his arms around her as well.

“Don’t let me go, please.” Sirius whispered in Y/n’s ear.

She nodded, “I won’t. Never.”

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

Y/n froze as she felt Sirius tense beside her and she looked up. Her face dropped as she saw his mother angrily storming towards them.

“Come on, we must go. I’d like to go back to the castle and cuddle for a while.” She said and pulled him out of the shop and into the busy streets.

“Sirius!” They heard faintly and the man flinched.

“No, it’s okay. Come on, let’s hurry. We can stop by the kitchens and the elves like me so they’ll probably make us something if we ask nicely, yeah?” Y/n asked gently, trying to distract him and they hurried up the path. 

Sirius nodded with a small smile, “Yeah. Thank you.”

“Whatever for?”

Sirius furrowed his brows, “Taking me away from my mom?”

Y/n laughed, “You’re mom? Where? Have you hit your head, Sirius?” She asked with a teasing smile.

I'll never let a love get so close

You put your arms around me and I'm home

“I’m so lucky to have you.” Sirius whispered late at night. The soft snores from James and the quiet breathing from the rest of the Marauders being the only sounds in the room.

“Yeah?” Y/n asked, smiling.

“Yeah.”

“I love you too, Sirius.”

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth

And I've never opened up

I've never truly loved

“I’ve never, like- I’ve never-” Sirius groaned angrily, not being able to find the words.

Y/n crossed her arms, “Never what, Sirius?”

He sighed, “I’ve never done this before. And I really don’t want you to be frustrated with me because I’m trying but I don’t- I don’t know how.” He confessed and the girls face softened.

“Oh, Sirius.” She pulled him into a gentle hug. “I’m so sorry for getting angry. It’s okay that you don’t know what to do. Truthfully, I don’t either. But we’ll figure it out, okay? Together.”

Sirius nodded, finding comfort in her hugs, “Together.” 

'Till you put your arms around me

And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

“Are you sure you want to be with me?” Sirius asked randomly.

Y/n smiled at her boyfriend, “Never been more sure of anything in my life. Except for maybe Potter being a dimwit, but you know what I mean.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“I’ll put a bandaid on. Easy peasy.” 

I hope that you see right through my walls

I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling

I'll never let a love get so close

“Marriage is a joyous occasion. It is connected in our thoughts with the charm of love, the warmth of home, and with all that is pleasant, as being one of the most important events of our lives. Its sacredness and unity is the most significant and binding covenant known in human relations. Sirius and Y/n, let me charge you both to remember that your future happiness is to be in mutual consideration, patience, kindness, confidence, and affection. It is the duty of each of you to find your greatest joy in the company of the other; to remember that your love pledged today must remain undivided for a lifetime.” The priest recited with a smile on his face.

Sirius smiled at his soon to be wife, a single tear slipping down his cheek. Y/n gently wiped it from his face and brought her hand back to her side with a wide smile, tears filling her own eyes.

“It is your duty, Sirius, to be to Y/n, a considerate, tender, faithful, and loving husband: to support, guide and cherish her in prosperity and trouble; to thoughtfully and carefully enlarge the place she holds in your life; to constantly show to her the tokens of your affection, to shelter her from danger, and to love her with an unchangeable love.” Sirius nodded, dedicated to fulfilling everything he just said.

“It is your duty, Y/n, to be to Sirius, a considerate, tender, faithful, and loving wife; to comfort, guide and cherish him in prosperity and trouble; to give to him the unfailing pieces of evidence of your affection; and to continue making the place he holds in your heart, broader and deeper; to support him, value him and work with him to make your marriage the very best that it can be.” 

You put your arms around me and I'm home

“If you are ready to assume the obligations and duties before God, as I have defined them, you will unite your hands and pledge your love and your lives to each other.” Sirius grabbed onto Y/n’s hands, rubbing small and soothing circled onto her soft skin. The priest looked at Sirius, “Groom, repeat after me. I, Sirius, take you, Y/n, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“I, Sirius, take you, Y/n, to be my lawfully wedded wife.”

“To have and to hold, from this day forward.”

“To have and to hold, from this day forward.”

“For better, for worse.”

“For better, for worse.”

“For richer, for poorer.”

“For richer, for poorer.”

“In sickness and in health.”

“In sickness and in health.”

“To love and to cherish.”

“To love and to cherish.”

“For as long as we may live.”

“For as long as we may live.”

“This is my solemn vow.”

“This is my solemn vow.”

The priest smiled, “Very good. Now bride, please repeat after me.” The two went through the same speech, having to stop a few times as Y/n’s voice cracked. “Sirius, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

Sirius nodded, “I do.”

“Y/n, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Of course, I do.”

The priest nodded, “Groom, you may kiss the bride.”

Sirius immediately brought their lips together as everyone cheered. Y/n wrapped her arms around Sirius’ neck, never feeling happiness quite like this.

You put your arms around me and I'm home

Taglist (if you'd like to be added comment :))

@loving-and-dreaming @1lellykins

[tenelkadjowrites]

the hongmullet needs to come back seriously 😭 mullets and wolf cuts became popular so i guess that's the reason lots of newer fans love it! as they should. hongjoong the trendesetter, lol.

twt is a cesspool so i barely used it nowadays, can't say shit on there without people twisting your words. i would say that there's a thin line and many people masquerade themselves as heavily biased, but they're in fact solo stans, i met a few and they definitely lack self-awareness. i think it's fine to be a solo FAN, but a STAN is too much. there are a few idols i really like, but unfortunately their group don't interest me, so i'm a fan, but not a hardcore one.

honestly you're not the only one who exclusively/primarly writes for specific member(s), and it's okay. i also noticed less and less people take requests, cause it can be overwhelming. awww, the numbers can be a lot, but you deserve them! i noticed you don't talk a lot about yourself which is okay, but i'm glad this account opened you up a bit so you could meet some nice people.

omg, you've already posted the christmas fic! and excuse me not hwa jerking off in someone's house with the door ajar, and stealing a dress huh? 😳 man violated that piece of clothing lol! anyways i thought it would be a one shot, so i'm pleasantly surprised and looking forward to the next part

i'd die if hj brought back the mullet but he doesn't seem to revisit hairstyles so i think the chances are pretty low. and for my own mental health, i kinda hope seonghwa doesn't ever dye his hair red again because he had red hair for like ten seconds and i ended up writing addicting kitten cuz of it and my life still hasn't known peace lol. i associate hwa's red hair with that fic so much that i've never written another fic where he has red hair lmao.

i have a lot of friends on twitter so i use it to talk to them/shitpost with them but i don't use it nearly as much as i used to because it's just a total drain. it's funny cuz now i prefer tumblr over any other social media site because it feels the most laid back. on twitter, its just like you can't say even the most normal shit without pissing someone off. did you see that tweet where a woman just shared her joy at drinking coffee every morning with her husband and got a ton of hate tweets sent her way? like wtf.

i don't take requests cuz i never have a lack of ideas, my problem is i simply have TOO many ideas and not enough time for them all. i also used to freelance write for a long time and had to write what other ppl wanted so fics were a way to write whatever i wanted in a relaxing manner and i just stuck with that. (i stopped freelancing cuz it was a lot of work for shitty pay.)

yeah, i struggle a lot with talking about myself in general and on this account in particular i am aware 99 percent of people follow it just for my smut fics, not because they have any interest in the person actually writing them (which is absolutely fine). i've had some people curious about who is writing these fics and have reached out to me and i've made close friends through their efforts. i also worry if too much of myself is shown, it might interfere with reading the fics. (for ex if i listed off my influences, dived into why i wrote something in a scene a certain way, etc, then the reader might have that in mind when they read something from me and it might cloud the story so i try not to state any of those things unless someone asks directly.)

the christmas fic was entirely supposed to be a one shot. i told myself after arrow to take a break with multi chapter fics for my own sake but of course i ended up with multiple smut scenes for this idea and simply must write them all and now here we are with a three part fic lol sigh. that's how it always goes with hwa.

[adoringhaikyuu]

hello!! i have a bit of a request! could i get oikawa bokuto and kuroo w a s/o who absolutely loves to cook and bake and does so a lot, but always always always shares the food they make? n they kinda slowed down in making food bc ppl arent accepting or wanting the food they make and its making them really down :(

ive been having this issue w my roommates bc i always cook for them w lots of love and they never eat what i make and its,, draining on me,,,,

but yea!! i just want oikawa bokuto n kuroo to make me feel a lil better :( thank u so so so much!!!! i love ur blog n ur writing so much 🖤

THEY AREN'T EATING YOUR FOOD SO YOU STOP COOKING FOR THEM

CHARACTERS: bokuto + kuroo + oikawa + (gn!reader)

WARNINGS: none

NOTES: i hope everything is ok and if not i hope it gets better!! <3 + i tried to make these a little happier ! they all take place over a week + i tried a new format with this we'll see if i stick w it sfkjhg

bokuto:

bokuto honestly didn't not want to eat your food

it's just that he had to go on a new diet for the upcoming season, his trainer and nutritionist told him to try it out to see how it works with him

and the things you cooked and baked were on the no eating list

he just loved when you made food for him, it tasted amazing and he could feel the love you put into it

he was planning on waiting the diet out and stockpiling all the food you made for afterwards as a treat

but he may or may not have failed to tell you that

so when you noticed he wasn't eating the food you left for him when he came home late after practice, you were disheartened and not to be dramatic, but heartbroken as well

deciding not to waste anymore, you simply stopped

turns out, the diet wasn't really working with bokuto, his nutritionist decided it was unecessary since he was getting the same results when he wasn't on it––thanks to his genetics, metabolism and workout routine. if anything he was glad, he was beyond excited to come home and finally eat your cooking again.

he practically ran home with a skip in his step, shouting out cheerfully as soon as he stepped past the front door. "baby i'm home!" he put his things down and took his shoes off, before gliding in front of the fridge to open it. "what's for dinner?––" he trailed off when he noticed there was nothing cooking, maybe you were starting later? he looked through the shelves in the fridge, looking for something to snack on in the mean time and gasped abruptly when he couldn't find the containers of food he'd been saving over the past week.

he closed the doors and frantically looked around the kitchen, opening random cupboards that couldn't possibly keep any refrigerated food fresh.

you walked in to find him searching around like a madman and you paused. "kou? what's wrong?"

he looked up at the sound of your voice and ran over to you, placing his hands on your waist. he kissed your forehead to say hello, despite the pout on his face and the clearly pressing matter on his mind. "hi baby doll. i was looking for all the food that was in the fridge, did you move them?"

you paused, "well i––i threw them out?"

his eyes almost bulged out of his head, "what?! why??"

you were confused by his sudden outburst, it's not like he was eating any of it. "i mean you weren't eating, kou...it's been a week since you've stopped eating my food, i just didn't see the point in keeping it all in there...that's also why i'm not making dinner right now."

he stared at you, shocked and disappointed in himself, he had no idea you were feeling this upset. "oh my god...did i forget to tell you?" your brows furrowed curiously but he simply pulled you into his arms for a tight hug. "i'm so sorry bub––they wanted me to try out this new diet, that's why i wasn't eating! i didn't mean to make you upset! i was even planning on eating all of the dinners i missed afterwards...but the diet wasn't for me so i can go back to eating normally now!"

you pulled back slightly to look at him, not knowing what to say. "oh..."

he gave you a sad smile, "yeah," he brought a hand up to hold your cheek, "you know i love your food––it honestly hurt my heart when they told me i couldn't eat it!"

you cracked a smile and he gave you one right back, "i'm serious!"

you sighed happily, "okay...so i guess i should start making dinner then?––"

he was pulling you over to the fridge before you could finish your sentence, "absolutely! and i'm helping!"

you laughed and started getting the ingredients together, "how about i make your favorite tonight?"

he nodded like a child excited for ice cream and kissed you on the cheek. he wasn't really a chef himself, that's why he left it to you––he didn't want to burn down the kitchen. so he'd mostly be staying by your side, maybe handing you things or mixing things, but you enjoyed his company nonetheless.

you had started seasoning the food when he slid his arms around you from behind, leaning down to rest his head on your shoulder. "hey baby?" you hummed in response and his hold on you tightened a bit. "would you...mind making my favorite dessert tonight too? i've been craving it for a while now..."

you smiled to yourself and nodded, "i'd love to."

he squeezed you and kissed your cheek loudly, "yes! thank you i love you so much!–"

kuroo:

almost every day you sent kuroo off to work with a baked good you made him

he loved them and you loved making them so it was a win-win

you'd put them in a little container with a cute note

and though he knew what to expect each time, they never failed to brighten his day

but earlier this week you stopped by kuroo's office to drop off the treat he'd forgotten to take with him today in his rush out the door

he was in a meeting so his assistant let you into his office

and you felt an ache in your chest when you noticed four of the treats you'd given him this past week all on his desk, unopened

that day, you went back home with all the uneaten sweets and unshed tears aching to fall from your eyes

did he just take them to please you? did he not really want them this whole time? was he just trying to be a good husband?

all these questions flooded your mind, only confusing and hurting you further

but one thing was for certain, you'd stop baking them for him

it didn't make sense for you to if you knew it'd be going to waste

kuroo was beyond done with his day and it wasn't even halfway over. he sighed, loosening his tie as he shut the door to his office, drained from the two hour meeting he'd been in.

thankfully, he had no more meetings today so he could sit and relax while he worked in his office. he sat down at his desk and shut his eyes for a moment, needing to calm down and regenerate himself. he reached over to his left blindly, knowing he'd left the treats you baked him there––things had been getting so hectic lately, he barely had time to eat them, but he was saving them for when he did have the time.

his hand smacked down on the desk three times as he tried to reach for the containers before he finally opened his eyes. his brows furrowed slightly, "what the..." he looked around the desk, opening the drawers and everything before giving up and calling his assistant in.

she knocked on the door and he signaled for her to come in.

"yes sir?"

"hi, do you know where the sweets i had on my desk are? i thought i left them here."

his assistant thought for a moment before perking up, "oh i believe your partner came and collected them while you were in your meeting, sir."

he frowned, "y/n was here? why didn't you tell me?"

"they asked me not to disturb you."

kuroo nodded, "oh alright...well, thank you, that'll be all."

he immediately pulled his personal phone out and called your number, you must have been back home by now.

you saw his name pop up on your screen as you were about to throw out the baked goods and hesitated for a good while before sighing and picking up. "yes?"

you could practically hear the smirk on his face as he spoke through the phone.

kuroo leaned back in his chair, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke. "you stole my sweets from me? where'd you hide them? or did you eat them?"

he didn't even feel bad that he'd just left them there?––"well you clearly weren't eating them kuroo," the smirk dropped from his face and he sat up, alert. woah––kuroo? why did you sound upset? "they were just sitting on your desk––anyway, i was about to throw them out."

"woah, what?? why would you do that?!"

he was speaking to you but you honestly weren't listening, too annoyed and too hurt to pay attention. "look if you didn't like them, you could have just told me so i wouldn't have to waste hours every day busting my ass to make them for you––were you just throwing them out this whole time, is that it?––"

he shook his head with each word you uttered before realizing you couldn't see him, he was just in complete shock. "what? no no, kitten listen to me, hey listen, okay?" you paused, mostly to catch your breath, but he took that opportunity to speak up. "i love when you bake for me, everything you make tastes amazing. i love eating the sweets you make when i'm at work because they remind me of you and of how much you love me––this week's just been a complete pain in my ass and i haven't had the time to sit down, eat and enjoy your treats, i love them and you too much to just scarf them down in a minute. i need to savor them, you know?" despite the adrenaline running in your body, you cracked a smile. "i finally had some time to myself and i was gonna eat them just now when i realized they were missing so i called you..."

he trailed off and you took that as your cue to speak up. "oh..."

you could hear his smirk again, "yeah, oh."

"so i...maybe...overreacted a bit."

he chuckled, the sound warm even through the phone. "no kitten you didn't, i get why you were upset––but, you should have asked me about it first."

you sighed, "yeah, yeah..." you looked at the open containers in front of you, only now noticing the notes you put in them were gone––he must have taken them out to read them even though he didn't have time to eat––"wait a minute, if you haven't had time to eat..." you could hear him clear his throat awkwardly, "kuroo you haven't been eating lunch?!"

he laughed awkwardly, "um, i mean, i eat after work––"

"that's not the same!" you rolled your eyes, "i'm coming back over there and i'm bringing you lunch and you're going to eat it, understand?"

he poked his tongue to the side of his cheek. "okay, kitten."

you sighed, "you're lucky i love you."

he leaned back in his chair again, "oh could you bring one of the––"

you cut him off, putting one of the already closed containers back in your bag. "already on it."

he grinned, "god, i love you."

oikawa:

oikawa loves your cooking

and normally he scrambles home after practice to eat it

but this past week training was grueling and tiring, so by the time he came out every day, he was drained mentally and physically

and he was starving

he couldn't wait any longer as soon as he stepped foot out of the gym

so he went to the nearest takeout place, bodega, whatever to get something to eat quickly,, for the whole week

he thought nothing of it

but when he came home every night for a week straight saying he'd already eaten when you tried to offer him the food you spent hours making?

it hurt, a lot

so you decided you'd stop cooking

oikawa was aching to go home––he was exhausted and all he thought about to get him through the day was you, your cooking and your cuddles. he needed all three immediately. when his coach said they were all free to go home, he could almost feel a weight lifting off his shoulders.

he sighed loudly as he stepped into your home, peeling his sneakers off and setting his things aside. he padded into the house, going straight to the kitchen and frowned when you were nowhere in sight. he'd come home a bit early today, around the time you were usually making dinner.

he looked around and walked to the living room, smiling to himself when he found you sitting on the couch, looking for something to watch on tv.

you smiled up at him and greeted him, the sound of your voice making him feel warm inside. "hi baby, how was your day?"

he huffed and slid onto the couch, lying down so his head was in your lap. "don't even talk to me about the day i've had––i was thinking about you the whole time." he took your hand in his and brought it up to his lips to give it a soft kiss. "you got me through it."

he placed one of your hands on his cheek and the other in his hair, mumbling a thank you when you started playing with the slightly damp mess on his head. "mm that feels good baby." he closed his eyes and sighed contently, settling in comfortably to your touch.

after a few moments, he spoke up softly, trying his best not to fall asleep. "what's for dinner?"

"um i'm not sure," your eyes were focused back on the tv as you thought for a moment. "what do you wanna order?"

he paused and cracked one eye open, opening the other when he realized you weren't joking. "wha––order?"

you looked down at him and nodded hesitantly, "yeah? like takeout?"

he sat up abruptly and turned to face you, "what? why?"

you paused this time, unsure of how to respond. "well...every night for the past week you haven't been eating my food. i think it's fair for me to assume you don't want my food anymore."

he felt a piece of himself break on the inside, "oh angel..." he grabbed your hands, "no no––i love your food, you know that––i've just been so tired this week, i couldn't even wait to get home to eat, so i stopped by the nearest places with the boys." he scooted closer to you. "i'm so sorry i made you feel like i didn't appreciate what you do for me––i promise from now on i'll drag myself on my hands and knees if i have to to come home to you and eat––"

you laughed and shook your head, "tooru there's no need for that––"

he cut you off, almost offended. "of course there is! i hurt your feelings baby, i never want to do that again!"

you smiled and pulled him in for a sweet kiss that he quickly melted into. you pulled away to look at him earnestly. "it's okay babe. just...maybe tell me next time? i was just worried you were tired of my food, that's all."

he pulled you into his lap and held you tight. "i could never and will never be tired of anything you do for me, i promise." he kissed your cheek. "though it is my fault, i did miss your cooking this week––but if you're not in the mood to make anything i understand and we can still order––"

you shook your head, "i'll make your favorite, okay?"

he pulled you in for another kiss, "i really don't deserve you."

[sunflowerdaisybee]

I was wondering if you could do karlnapityXFtmReader? Like kinda sad then fluff? Like y/n is is dealing with dismorphia and jumps on steam to distract themselves, but some ppl are using she/her and making comments ab their chest? Then get comforted? Ik its alot u dont have have to include it all :)

!Warning!: transphobia occurs in this. This was really cute and if you or anyone for that matter ever needs someone to talk to or needs someone to beat someone up for you, I’d be more than happy to listen or throw hands<3

Summary: When you’re feeling not the best, your boyfriends are there to help <3

Pairing: Karlnapity x Reader

Pronouns: He/him (she as insult)

[A/n]: Requests are open <3

Everywhere you looked you would see it. In the mirror, on your phone screen, even reflected on your silverware. You couldn’t escape yourself or thoughts of yourself, of how you looked and how it wasn’t right. Even your mind was plagued with thoughts and images of how wrong you looked and how it needed to be gone from your body.

The only thing that kept you from drowning in a pool of viscous thoughts was a ping from your phone. You knew the noise to be the text tone you had set for Karl, so there was no hesitation to answer it.

Karl had asked if you wanted to stream with him. He had originally planned to stream with someone else but they had to cancel last minute and he didn’t want to stream alone. You agreed, of course.

Getting up you heard into your streaming room and started setting things up, joining a call with Karl, and then getting into the game. Playing with Karl helped your mood a lot, but you were still a tad down from earlier. Thankfully if you needed any comfort you could just go over to Karl’s streaming room or wait till Sapnap and Quackity got home and get cuddles from them.

Honestly, if the stream had gone well and for long enough you would’ve been able to excuse your negative thoughts for long enough to enjoy the rest of the night with your boyfriends, but you couldn’t stream forever and fans weren’t always nice.

You had come out as trans to your fans a long time ago and had never really faced any issues, usually, they were nice. But tonight was different, it was almost like the world hated you today. There were new people in your chat, and all they had to say were hurtful words and usage of the wrong pronouns.

“She is just delusional, she isn’t in her right mind.” You were saddened by those words but had brightened up a bit upon noticing how quickly they were banned. You stopped in-game for a moment to check in with your mods. Turned out that Sapnap and Quackity had started banning all of the rude and transphobic people in your chat, helping to rid you of the problem.

You quickly sent the message telling them how much you loved them before returning to the game.

You and Karl played for a little while longer before logging off for the night, saying goodbye to all your fans. Karl had ended a moment before you, giving him and the other two just enough time to burst into your streaming room together.

“Alright get up, go change.”

“Huh?”

“Get your handsome butt out of the chair and go put on your pajamas. And make sure you take your binder off. Now go.”

“I have to shut everything down.”

“I’ll do it, now go.” The three shooed you out of the room, Karl staying to turn everything off, Subpoena following you to make sure you changed and took off your binder, and Quackity going off into the living room.

When you and Sapnap got into the living room you found Karl and Quackity chilling on the couch, covered in fluffy blankets, and your favorite movie pulled up on the tv.

“You guys.”

“Shush, now come cuddle. We missed you.” Quackity and Karl both opened their arms for you, allowing you and Sapnap to join them on the couch and drowning you in fluffy blankets.

[bottlesandcats]

hiii!! i hope it's okay to just ask you, i really want to start writing fanfiction but i'm so embarrassed of my writing style and in general, ever showing it to anyone? do you have any tips for beginners? 🥺

Hey there Anon! Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I was at work when I saw your ask, and wanted to really think about what to say before responding. With that in mind, I hope you don't mind a really lengthy answer.

I have to say I’m incredibly flattered to have someone ask me for writing tips, and will do my best to provide some insights based on my own experience. I'm no expert, but I've done a lot of writing both academic and creative. Of course, it goes without saying that the following strategies are what work for me, personally. Everyone works and thinks differently, so some of my suggestions may not fit the way you work and that's totally okay!

Because I am an anal nerd, I've organized my responses into categories.

Writing Style

Firstly, remember that your writing style is unique to you and you have nothing to be embarrassed about! But honestly, I think a lot of writers feel the same way; I don’t actually like my fiction writing style, either, and am always working to improve it.

One thing I’ve found that helps: find authors whose style you really like, and read and reread their stories and study how they write. What’s their sentence structure like? How do they write dialogue? How do they set up scenes? Is it through dialogue or more through the use of a character’s thoughts? This is what I do. I have three authors, who all write in a particular way that I really love, that I tend to reread and study for inspiration. Just know that your style is not set in stone and you do have the ability to adjust it, it just takes practice.

At the end of the day it's easy to wish we could write like our favorite authors, but don't be too hard on yourself; your style is special, too!

Getting Started

When I used to write research papers in school, I was a big fan of creating outlines before I'd start writing the actual paper. However, for creative writing, I don't use outlines because I find that I'm constantly changing things around. The outline would either have to be so basic in order to allow for flexibility that it wouldn't be of much use, or it would become irrelevant three chapters in.

Writing that first sentence is probably the hardest part of writing a story. What I did, for the story I'm working on now, is picked a part that I was really excited to write about and just started with that, first (I'm pretty sure it was something that comes much later in my story, that I haven't even posted yet). That helped me to get really into the process and feel confident about what I was doing, which made it easier to move onto other sections. What I'm trying to say is don’t be hemmed in by feeling like you have to write sequentially. I tend to write scenes as they come to me; I don’t force myself to write consecutive chapters, if that makes sense. For example, in my current story, I had chapter 14 finished before chapter 11 bc I had a burst of inspiration and just wrote it all out. Just be aware that sometimes this can lead to you writing yourself into a corner (which did happen to me in this fic), but the beauty of it all is that it’s your story and you can change whatever you want!

If you’re writing a story with chapters, keep a point in mind. My beta reader actually taught me this. With each chapter, ask yourself “What is the goal of this chapter?” Think of chapters as mini stories that, when combined and read in order, create one big story (duh). Therefore each chapter should ideally have a purpose that moves the overall story forward.

Write about what you know. If you don't know -> research

Authenticity is really important to me. I have googled the most random shit for this story: "Did soldiers have to repair their own uniforms in WWII?" "Popular slang of the 30s and 40s." "How to make jambalaya." "Popular cigarette brands of the 30s."

I have also been very careful around race in my story as it involves POC and I'm as white as white gets (I got a hyphenated name and everything). When I address a character's emotions around race I try to match it to how they acted in the show/movie. I don't rely on conjecture or how I think they'd feel, bc as a white person, it's impossible for me to truly know what it's like to be a POC. This also goes for dialogue; it can be easy to turn people into caricatures. I've watched TFATWS at least three times, and have watched numerous interviews with Anthony Mackie to try and make sure I write dialogue and emotion that fits him as an individual and not a stereotype. It's not perfect, and I'm sure I've made some mistakes, but it's something that's really important to me and I try my damndest to make sure Sam Wilson comes across as authentic.

Getting Edits

I see a lot of people suggest sharing your work with friends or family to get feedback. I'm not really a fan of this because I'm pretty private about my writing. I don't want anyone that I know reading it bc, frankly, I'm embarrassed (hey look how we came full-circle there!). Besides AO3, Tumblr is the only space that I feel comfortable enough to share my work without fear of judgement. I think the preferred alternative is to get yourself a beta reader. This is the first fic that I've worked on with a beta reader and...wow, what a huge difference it has made! I found my beta reader when he posted on tumblr expressing an interest in beta'ing, and so I messaged him (hey @3dg310rdsupreme). It’s the best decision I ever made. He has truly made me a better writer, and my current in-progress fic wouldn’t be nearly as good without him offering edits, acting as a sounding board, and reigning in my excessive use of lengthy paragraphs (he will probably cringe at these paragraphs, here).

Posting Your Story

If/when you do decide to post your story in a public forum, try to maintain a loose posting schedule. When I first started uploading I committed to a chapter a week, but by the eighth chapter I was getting too stressed and found myself glued to my computer 24/7 trying to keep up. Hold yourself to goals so you don't wind up abandoning the fic, but remember that you are your own boss and this is meant to be fun, so go easy on yourself. I'd also recommend getting several chapters finished BEFORE you even post the first one, to give yourself a head start. You think you have plenty of time but it's surprising how much time edits and rewrites can take.

It can be really scary to share your work with others. Writing is really hard, can be very personal, and it's an incredibly vulnerable feeling to put yourself out there like that and leave yourself open to the judgements of others. I was terrified when I first started to upload chapters because I just wasn't sure what reader etiquette was like. The last time I posted a fic was on FanFiction.net almost 10 years ago and ppl did not hold back their criticism (I think things have vastly improved since then or maybe AO3 readers are just nicer). I can't emphasize this enough: you are not obliged to take readers' criticisms/feedback whether they are constructive or not. I don't ever leave criticisms or corrections when I comment on other writers' stories; I honestly don't feel it's my place to do anything other than support them as they are sharing their talents for free. Some writers welcome constructive criticism, and will typically state that in the notes if they are open to it. I do not; it's why I have a beta reader. I did have one reader post a public comment correcting me on a couple things (one of which was a misunderstanding on their part) and I politely requested that in the future any corrections should be sent to me privately, not publicly shared.

Wow...I think that's a good start. I really hope at least some of these tips will be useful to you! Thanks for reaching out, feel free to do so again, and if you ever want to send some pages my way you are more than welcome to! Just remember, be kind to yourself and have patience bc seriously…

[palbabor-writes]

dude uh so like dabi but as a father... like he would never but like no one day he gets left with this kid and he's not gonna abandon it bc he cant idk i just want to see dabi as a parental unit trying not to be a bad parent

lol, ppl ask me asks and i respond with a feature freaking film worth of words.  (//▽//) warnings: adult language, angst, mild spoilers for current manga chapters: 290 - 291

words: 3915 

notes: I answered this a little differently. It’s more of a longing for what could have been, rather than a kid of his own sort of thing. But, Dabi does his best damn it. Also, yeah, yeah, it’s another Greek title. I cannot be STOPPED. but i prolly should be. Not beta edited, so all mistakes are mine, and mine alone.

Pónos 

ponos /ˈpoʊˌnɒs/ or ponus /ˈpoʊnəs/ noun  Ancient Greek: Πόνος Pónos  the personification of hardship and toil

There’s a loud clattering noise that’s echoing along the polished floors and walls of the Meta Liberation Army’s base. 

Dabi hates these long hallways. They remind him of some kinda tomb, with all that reverberation and all those gleaming surfaces. They’re perfect for elongating and stretching voices and sounds. 

So whatever the fuck that racket is, it’s not like he’s going to be able to avoid it. He’d need to turn around to do that and he’s not about to fucking turn heel and retrace his steps. Besides, it would take him twice as long to go the other way. Nah, this path is easier, despite the looming annoyance of the commotion.

 He rounds a corner and catches sight of a young woman. 

She’s struggling with something as she reaches into her shoulder bag, and her back twists awkwardly as she leans both forward and sideways. Dabi can’t get a good look at her from here. But, he reasons, he also doesn’t care enough to bother with a second, closer, glance. Nope, all he’s gotta do is slip past her and he can be on his way. 

“Reo-- Reo! Please keep still. I need to get to my phone…” The woman’s voice sounds strained and that odd pattering noise that he’s been hearing since he stepped toward this hallway hasn’t stopped either. If anything, it’s worse. Is it her quirk? Is there somebody behind her? Does she have one of those remote talking devices? Like that the ones that the Doc gave to the League before all this fucking cult bullshit started. What-

Dabi’s thoughts wander to a screeching halt as a boy bumps into his shins. He blinks at the sensation and stutters to a stop, his eyes glinting at the small form. The kid, who looks about four or five, stumbles backwards and cranes his head, looking up at this new discovery he’s run into. 

The boy studies him and, for a brief moment, Dabi worries that his face might spook the kid bad enough to send him into a sobbing and crying fit. Dabi’s not exactly the easiest thing to look at now. But, the kid seems ok with gawping at him, his violet eyes goggled and wondering. 

“Reo-” the boy’s mother repeats, replacing her phone and scanning the hallway for her rogue offspring. “I--Uh, there you are! I’m sorry...Oh, you’re one of those new generals. I’m afraid I don’t remember your name. Ooh, oh my gosh, now that you’re here, would you mind watching him for a moment? I’ve gotta run something back to Skeptic…”

That woman is saying something but Dabi’s too involved in his strange standoff with the boy. Neither he, nor the kid, seem to have the wherewithal to pull their gazes away. No, they both just watch each other, the former maintaining his aloof scowl and the latter is putting on an amazing show of raw fascination. 

“So, just don’t let him get up to too much trouble and I’ll be right back. Won’t be more than a minute.”  

Huh?

Dabi whips his head up, suddenly realizing what’s being asked of him. Like fuck he’s gonna watch this kid. Wait...where did she go?

He twists and turns, his cerulean eyes flashing up and down the sterile hallway, but there’s no sign of her. What the hell? How can someone dematerialize that quickly? He didn’t even say yes, for fucks sake. What a negligent, irresponsible parent she is, to just leave her kid like this with a complete stranger. Pfft, stranger feels a bit weak, honestly. Nah, Dabi’s a walking, talking freakshow. Nothing about him looks safe or dependable. There’s a pull on his dark pants and he automatically shakes his leg against the sensation, agitated. What now? 

Ah.

Junior is blinking up at him, those chubby hands wrinkling the rough fabric between his tiny digits. “Hi,” he beams, his pearly baby teeth straight and gleaming, “I’m Reo!”

“Yeah,” Dabi scoffs, knocking the kid’s hands away. “I heard. Where did your, er, mom go?”

“What’s your name?” Reo prattles, following Dabi as he skulks a little ways down the hallway, his brow furrowed and shoulders tense. Now what is he going to do? He could leave, tell the kid to stay put and go about his business. He doesn’t have time for this, after all.

“Hey!” Reo calls and Dabi turns at the slightly frantic note in the child’s voice, his eyes sharp. 

“Whadda’ want kid? I’m trying to find your mom.” 

“I said my name is Reo-”

“And I said I heard you. Tch, you’re so loud there’s no way half of the building didn’t hear you,” Dabi snaps, looming over the little boy, his mouth pressing into a deep frown. 

“I told you my name, so..so now you gotta tell me yours,” Reo scolds, those violet eyes shining. Dabi can see that the kid’s tiny frustration is rising at the thought of some adult being so rude as to not answer his newly engrained social niceties. 

“Hmph,” Dabi snorts, a low laugh puffing out of his lips. “The name’s Dabi.”

Reo digests that, his nose wrinkling as he mouths the unfamiliar name to himself, like he’s wanting to get it just right when he speaks it aloud. It’s kinda cute, Dabi muses. You know, in a stupid sort of way.

“D- Dadi?” Reo mimics, stumbling over that all important ‘b’ in Dabi’s name.

“What? No. It’s DABI. It’s got a ‘B’ in it. Like, uh, b as in, uh, bear. You know what a bear is, yeah?”

“A bear?” Reo asks, biting his lip at the strange change of topic. “What about a bear?”

“You got my name wrong, kid. It’s Dabi, not DaDi. My name has a ‘b’ not a ‘d.’ Try again,” Dabi groans, sinking to his haunches and praying that this kids mom will rematerialize any goddamn second. 

“Dadi,” Reo mimics, still fumbling. 

“Ugh,” Dabi sucks his teeth and begins to stand again. 

“Hey! Pick me up?” Reo requests, his arms lifting, stocky fingers clenching and unclenching into his palms, opening and closing in a repetition of a familiar demand. 

“Pick you up?” Dabi repeats, incredulous. What the fuck is wrong with today? The only thing that could make this worse is someone seeing this odd performance.

“I’m not gonna pick you up,” Dabi growls, his lips pursing at the kid. “You’re just fine where you are. Besides, don’t kids like you need to practice walking? How old are you anyway?”

“Five,” Reo chirrups, puffing his chest out, like he’s expecting a rainfall of praise to fall on him now that he’s verbally acknowledged that he is indeed, a big boy.

“That’s too bad, kid. If you’re five, you’re definitely old enough to walk under your own power,” Dabi snorts, bemused by Reo’s chipper attitude. Doesn't that get tiring? All that smiling and pacing that he’s doing? Dabi’s never had much experience with little kids, well, other than his own contact with his younger siblings, but they were never this...chatty.

“Awe,” Reo whines, his head falling, little chin bumping as it hits his collarbone dejectedly. Dabi shakes his head at the dramatic reaction. Sulking is better than crying, he reasons, turning his head to look for the boy’s mother again. She said it would only take a minute? The fuck was she?

“Hey, kid. Where were you and your mom before you came here?”

There’s a strange, static-like quiet that follows Dabi’s question. That’s weird. He would have figured that his new query would have broken the boy out in another rash of talkative excitement. So for him to be…

Wait. 

Dabi turns back and his eyes scan the newly barren hallway for the boy. The fuck? Where did he go? His gaze is still whisking frantically when he spots the heel of Reo’s shoe disappearing beyond the next corner. Fucking wonderful.

He paces after the boy, his long legs pulling him quickly along. Again, he wonders why he gives two shits. It’s not his kid, not his responsibility. Yet there’s some nagging pressure that keeps beating at the back of his mind. It’s likely some pieces of a fragmented lesson that had been taught to him long ago. Back when he wasn’t like this. Long before he’d made the decision that sent him on this mindless trajectory, lingering in the obsession of his pent up rage and hurt.  

You’re the eldest. 

Take care of your sister. 

Easy, he’s still a baby. That’s right, hold him like that. You’re such a good brother. 

You’re the one who he can go to when he needs help.

Thank you, Touya. You did so, so well! I’m sorry I had to leave for a bit, but thank you for watching him. 

It’s a big job, and one that you’ll always have, so, can you do it?

You’re their big brother. They look up to you.

Look! She’s happy to see you, Touya!

Dabi snarls at those little flashes of memory, his teeth gritting. No one needs him. Fuck, he’d be more likely to kill them than help them now. Or, at least that’s what he keeps telling himself. Drilling it in, over and over, until he can repeat that vitriol like it’s some kinda twisted prayer. He’s not that boy anymore and he can never, ever go back. He’s made sure of that. 

“Hey! Hey kid! Get back here! You little shit!” 

A loud, male voice is booming up ahead and Dabi jogs the last few steps, his head already uplifted and searching as he rounds the corner. There’s a tall, unfamiliar man in the next hallway and he’s looking away, watching as Reo sprints from him. 

“Fuck, man. Why you gotta yell at him?” Dabi scolds, his cerulean eyes glaring. The man whirls around and Dabi notes the source of his ire. There’s a large stain, bleeding against his crisp white button up and an upturned mug is clutched in a tight fist. Kid must have bumped into him and knocked his coffee out. Well, that fucking sucks, but it’s no reason to freak out at the little guy. He’s five for fuck’s sake. Not like he did it on purpose. 

“He burned me! He ran around that corner and smack into me! Control your kid, you ass! I know you’re one of those hoity toity new generals but you gotta--”

“He’s not my kid,” Dabi snaps, already shoving past the blustering idiot. If he hurries, he can snatch the boy up before he gets too much farther. 

“You sure are running after him like he is!” 

The taunt chases him as Dabi stalks away and it makes him grind his teeth again. Doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter, he repeats, all he’s gotta do is get the kid and wait for the mom. Besides, he’s in too deep now. He can’t just abandon him. Fuck, with his luck, he’d run into the mom before he ran into Reo again.

The next hallway leads to one of the many common rooms. 

Dabi, realizing this, begins to jog again, suddenly desperate to catch Reo before he wanders into even more members of this crazy cult. Or worse, he gulps, a member of the League. He’d never live it down if the kid bumped into Compress or Shigaraki. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

As he skids along the next turn, Dabi catches sight of the kid. He’s wavering beside the double doors of the common room and he looks distinctly lost, his dark head turning every few seconds, those violet eyes of his wide. 

“Oi! Reo! Stop running,” Dabi calls, already lowering himself to a kneeling position, his long, mangled arms outstretched. He’s hoping he’s painting some kinda welcoming picture with this gesture and not just creating a terrifying pantomime of comfort.

Reo looks back and he lets out a little squeal of recognition and delight. Excited he is finally going to be picked up. His shoes tap loudly against the tiles as he dashes into Dabi’s oddly warm embrace. 

Once he’s got a good grip on the boy, Dabi rises to his feet, keeping the kid’s body securely against his. At first, Reo protests the tight hold, his back bowing and squirming, but Dabi stills him with a long, hard, stare.

“Don’t do that,” Dabi chastises, wincing against the pull on his marred skin. 

“Oh! Does it hurt?” Reo asks, carefully bringing his swinging feet to a standstill, noting the grimace of pain on Dabi’s scarred face.

“Yeah,” Dabi confirms, shifting Reo to his hip so he can free up his other arm to adjust a pinching staple. “My skin ain’t exactly healthy. Now, let’s get you back to your mom before she finds out that you fuc-- I mean...that you dashed off like that. Give people a heads up next time, huh? Making me run all over the compound after--”

“Oh! Who’s that you’re holding?”

“Gosh, he looks just like you! With that dark hair and those bright eyes of his. Is that your son?”

Fuck. Shit. Fuck.

Dabi tosses a glare over his shoulder, but the two women keep walking toward him, cooing at Reo’s pleased little face. One of them reaches up and ruffles the boy's hair and Dabi instinctively takes a step back, a snarl lifting his lips over his white teeth.

“He’s not my kid,” Dabi corrects, for what feels like the umpteenth time today. It’s only the second, but twice is two times too many. 

These women are being ridiculous. They don’t look that much alike. He’s just got dark hair, that’s all. If they knew what color Dabi’s hair really was they wouldn’t even make that connection. With his true coloring, Reo would be another kid and Dabi would be some fucking freak who’s left holding him. He’s not this kid's anything, least of all his protector. 

It’s not his job to look after this half pint, nor is it his job to care about him. Even if he reminds him of some sliver of what was, what could have been. No, Dabi is just some schmuck who somehow stumbled into this absurdity. It would be easy to unwind those trusting arms and lower this kid back to the ground, he’s not sure why he’s still holding him. He should...he should put him down...He... 

For some reason, that last thought makes his heart squeeze, pressing an irregular beat against his breast. He shakes his head at the sensation, burying whatever bubble of emotion that is trying to rise back down, pressing it deep, smothering and covering until he feels normal again. 

“He’s right! I’m not. Because he’s Dadi!” Reo confirms, simultaneously standing up for his new, haphazard, caretaker and throwing him under an oncoming proverbial bus in the same breath. Goddamn it all.

“That’s so sweet! Your son is beyond adorable!”

“He’s not…” Dabi begins, but bites his tongue. What good is it doing him anyway? These flunkies of the Meta Liberation are just fawning over Reo anyway. He’s honestly stunned they’re still talking to him at all. 

As they’re tickling and petting at the boy, a sudden thought springs into his mind. Actually, this might not be too bad. If he can get one of them to take the kid, he can fucking slink away, his responsibility finished, job done. 

“Oi, one of you can take him. He’s waiting for his mom. She said something about meeting with that Skeptic dic-- guy.”

“You want us to watch your son?” One of the girl’s questions, her head tilting at his demand. “Wouldn’t you rather wait for her yourself? You don’t know us and, well, not that we’d do anything bad...but that feels strange. Besides, you’re doing a great job! Look how happy he is. The two of you are so cute!”

Amazing. 

Apparently, Dabi, despite his hardened and rough persona, one that he has cultivated and built up for years, mind you, could now add, “cute,” to that resume of terror that he is building. 

Sighing, Dabi tries a more direct approach. “You seem to like him a lot, so just keep an eye on him until his mom comes back. It’s not hard. He likes being held, so just, er, hold him.”

Reo, sensing that he’s about to be deposited out of Dabi’s warm grasp, begins to wiggle again, his hands clinging to Dabi’s skin. He’s trying to be gentle, remembering Dabi’s earlier warning, his small digits tapping rather than digging, but he’s still scrabbling against the pull.

The woman clicks her tongue and smiles, tucking some of her long hair behind her ear. “Your son is so precious! He must really love you. Look, Han, isn’t this kid is the sweetest thing you’ve ever seen!” Her friend chuckles and agrees and the cheerful sound makes Dabi seethe. 

“Like I told you, he ain’t my kid. Now knock the wax outta your ears and take him,” Dabi snarls, still pushing Reo outward, hoping beyond hope that this calamity will just fucking end. 

“Dadi,” Reo pouts, his nose wrinkling as he burrows his face into Dabi’s arm, his skin hot against Dabi’s purple flesh.

“If he’s not your kid,” the woman named Han says, propping a fist on her hip, “why does he keep calling you daddy?”

“He’s not calling me that,” Dabi grumbles, his eyes lingering on Reo’s distressed slump. “The kid can’t say my name, which is Dabi. For some fucking reason the “b” is alluding him.”

“Fucking?” Reo questions, his brilliant purple eyes lifting, searching Dabi’s deep blue gaze. When he doesn’t get an answer, he repeats the word, lingering on those harsh syllables a little longer than he needs to. God, Dabi thinks, pulling Reo back to him, trying to muffle the boys bewildered tests of his new word. This is beyond ridiculous.

“Uh-oh,” another, male, voice resounds. Dabi scowls at the newcomer, watching as he steps beside the women, his eyes widened in mock concern. “That your kiddo?” He asks, his brow arching at Dabi’s now openly hostile form. 

“Fuc-- Again? I gotta answer this again?” Dabi snaps, shifting Reo back to his hip, just above his belt. “No. No, he is not mine.”

“Sure about that?” the man quizzes. “He’s sure got your hair and, uh, your vulgarity down.” 

“He’s that woman’s...Look, his mother went to go see that Skeptic bastard. So, you wanna help me out here? Any of you idiots want to do something useful? Hmm? Go into that big meeting room, the one past the common area and get her. I bet that’s where she went. When you see her...tell her, her kid is going wild. Stop...stop looking at me like that or I’ll torch you where you fuc-- where you stand.”

Instead of being cowed by his threat, the Meta Liberation Assholes just laugh, the three of them leaning against each other as they heave with their amusement. And Reo? Well, he’s seemingly amused by all the ruckus, giggling and murmuring little nothings into Dabi’s skin, nuzzling into Dabi’s inhuman warmth. Dabi feels that strange tugging at his heart again and in his anger and distant horror, he spews more rage onto the trash that’s daring to chortle so openly in front of him.

“Goddamn it, I’ll make each of you pay for this you...you stupid--”

“Dabi?”

Can a hole open up under him? That would be absolutely perfect and he’d be so, so grateful. He cranes his neck and catches sight of the last person he wanted to see. Fucking, Twice. His costume is making those white eyes of his comically wide and his hands lift to clap at his face, always dramatic and overblown to the last.

“Who is that sweet little boy? The hell are you doing with that child?!?”

“He’s--”

“It’s his son!” The ‘Han’ woman calls, still clutching her sides, her eyes wet from her mirth.

“No,” Dabi groans, his head dropping lamely. He wants nothing more than to fry each and everyone of these fucking pieces of shit. The desire is so strong he can feel the creeping of heat that’s rising in his palms and tickling up his piercings, scalding his skin against the metal. No, he scolds himself, he can’t do that. Not with Reo in his arms. He’s gotta be careful. He can’t hurt the kid. It’s not his fucking fault he’s been trapped in the care of a monster like him. 

Dabi gasps at his sudden, protective instincts. The fuck? This kid is nothing to him. Nothing. He doesn’t remind him of anyone. No, he’s nothing like his little brothers, all questions and sweet, brief hugs. He’s not...he’s not…

Reo’s hum of agitation breaks Dabi from his swirling emotions. The boy tries to lift his legs away from Dabi’s hips, his arms wrapping around Dabi’s neck, suddenly unsure and starting to whimper. 

“It’s too hot,” he complains, his voice small and soft in Dabi’s ear.

“I know,” Dabi concedes, taking another deep breath, trying to still that rushing rage that is lingering in the back of his mind. “Sorry kid, it should stop in a minute.”

“Ok,” Reo nods, his black hair mingling with Dabi’s spiky tendrils. 

Twice has stepped forward and he’s standing beside Dabi, his head cocked, looking from the shivering boy to Dabi’s haggard expression. “He does look a lot like you,” Twice ponders, his fingers tracing his chin meditatively. There’s something about Twice that Reo is bothered by and his face falls into the hollow of Dabi’s neck and shoulder, straining his body against Dabi, away from the black and red suited man that’s beside Dabi’s elbow.  

“Fuc-- Piss off, Twice,” Dabi growls, his blue eyes narrowing and hardening as he pats comfortingly at Reo’s back, twisting from Twice’s curious stare. “You’re freaking the kid out. Hey! Hey, don’t you assholes have some bootlicking to do?” Dabi snaps, his eyes lifting to the gaggle of MLA members, who are still giggling and whispering across from him. And, just as those words leave his lips, Reo’s mother, finally, finally returns. 

“Oh thank you!” She coos, raising her arms to Reo and peeling him away from Dabi. To Dabi’s shock, Reo still shakes his head, his arms retightening around Dabi’s tense neck.

“Oooh, he’s taken a liking to you I see!” 

“You gotta let me go, kid,” Dabi whispers into Reo’s ear, unlacing his little arms. Reo whines and pouts as Dabi presses him back to his mother, a sigh of relief shuddering from his mismatched lips. Thank fucking God. Now he can have this woman tell all of those shits that he’s not this boy’s father...wait...what the fuck? Oh...oh, now they all leave.

The MLA lackeys are drifting away, walking in a tight bunch as they re-enter the common area, soft grins still lingering on Dabi. And Twice? Twice is snickering openly and making his way down an adjacent hallway, no doubt off to tell Toga what he’s seen.

“Thanks again. Looks like you did a great job,” Reo’s mother repeats, shifting her son to a better position, trying to quiet his frantic scrabbling, his small arms still reaching, struggling for Dabi.

“Dadi!” Reo cries, a few tears falling from his soft face as he’s walked away. In another heartbeat, they’re both gone and all Dabi has left of that strange little kid is the lingering sting and warmth of his embrace on his burned skin.

Notes: Dabi is a grump. Or is he? o(TヘTo)

Tags: @spicy-skull, @xwildskullx, @evesmores

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[horansqueen]

I thik there's more people rereading the story than you think. I guess we don't comment on it 'cause we think all's been said before, but it's wrong 'cause you deserve at least some form of graditude for investing your time.

If I get any specific idea for a request, I'll send you. Although, I'm more "read what I've been given" type 😂

Most of mine are like what if they had the courage to say how they feel before, like that scene in the first chapter of You&Me where Niall's trying to text her something and ends up writing a lyric from Still. I don't think it would change the story much if he'd actually sent it, but it's little details like that that get stuck in my mind. It gets me thinking how most of the time we could change our lives in a second. And as I mentioned, especially emotions and thought process written in Niall's pov, it gives a lot to think about 'cause his feelings were a mess for so long, and Liv knew that she loved him.

But if you love the characters as much as it seems, there's sure more of one-shoots in the future and it makes me really happy

well i hope youre right, i hope people re-read it. it makes me want to try to get it published. id have to change a lot of things tho and i totally would if it meant i could publish it but, yea, you know.

thank you for saying that! it means a lot to me! i accept all comments tbh. even if you think everythings been told well, im totally ready to hear it again.lol! if someones re-reading the story and wants to comment every chapter i mean go ahead, itll make me super happy you know? theres no such thing as ‘too many comments, likes, reblogs, reviews, etc’ haha :)

awww i totally understand and respect that! if you have any idea tho please dont hesitate!

and see, that part about him almost sending her lyrics from his song could make a short blurb/oneshot! there are many things that COULD have happened, whether theyre small or big things, i honestly think theyd be all interesting to write!

oh and i agree! so many things can be changed with one little word or action, its crazy!

thank you so much! im so happy you like Niall’s POV! youre right, he was so confused while Liv knew exactly how she felt for him!

the next story im gonna write (New Angel) will be ALL written from Niall’s POV, if it interests you lol and trust me, hell be EXTREMELY confused the whole time lmao 😂

but yea i do miss Liv and Niall from AMC and YOU&ME so so much, i love writing about them and im scared ppl will just stop caring and completely forget about them. and i do want to keep them alive with oneshots from time to time!

thank you so much for taking the time to discuss this with me, it means the world, and its so much fun, THANK YOU ILY!

[idyllic-ghost]

I'm glad that i won't be annoying with my junhui requests then!! Thank you for not minding about writing for him and also for loving him in general, it always means alot when i see people write for junhui but on top of that love him as well (because both doesn't always happen often sadly). You definitely write for other groups that i ult tho so don't worry i will randomly change up my requests with my other ult biases plus random ideas i have for other members too. Also that's understandable!! I will just happily talk to/ask you about stuff and how your day is going whenever i send in anon messages since you don't have enough followers to do big ask things yet but i definitely enjoy talking to you on here too so I'm happy that we can at least. And that makes sense it's still hitting you now even after a few days especially if you drank and did alot of moving plus singing/screaming but I'm glad you were able to go since prom is a big thing even if it isn't always as big irl as people make it be, all that matters is you enjoyed yourself honestly (ALSO: i wanted to say sorry for not telling you about the text mess up in the jun fic, i kept forgetting to say something about it each time i sent a message on here. Thank you for fixing it tho!! It looks fine now from what i see, i didn't mind it much anyways and i still enjoyed the fic either way but I'm glad it worked out so it could be fixed by you) - 🐼 anon

i cannot understand how some ppl don't like jun?? he's so sweet and funny, and his visuals??? don't even get me started... so please do request more for jun, as well as anyone else you would like to read about! and about the fic, i should've read through it a bit better before posting it! but at least it's fixed now, as far as i can tell!

i've actually come down with a cold these past few days, which might be related to prom idk?? but it was still a very nice experience that wraps up my high school life perfectly! i'm not usually a party person, so it was actually my first ever party too. it's not my favorite thing in the world, but i can't deny that it was fun :)

[briteboy]

using the new tag “sunny answers” for these anon ask compilations as per request of an anon who actually enjoys going through these posts! this one’s 4 u bb 💕

omg there’s a lot of questions here, more than i thought there’d be. rando story stuff, leftovers from the Trans Fiasco (and no i will 100% NOT be answering anymore questions about it after this, aside from the non-anons who already messaged me about it), and some astrology questions towards the end! enjoy

I seriously love & understand santi's mind but at the same time I feel so bad for Lou (I love her more ok) and I just wanna hug her and grant all her wishes and fill her void and give her 9999 amazing lovers Idk SANTI Y U LIKE THIS hahahaha ok sorry your story is my bible basically. Other than Ramona to live for Lou needs someone that stays LOU NEEDS HAPPINESS!!!!!

9999 AMAZING LOVERS LMAO will u be the 10,000th tho...that is the question. i think we all relate to santi, so much in fact that his actions are infuriating because it’s like WHYYY but then i’m like oh wait i do dumb shit too when i’m sad/in pain. he still dumb tho she does need happiness, and hopefully she will find it in this story ;__;

I'm so hyped for everything happening w your sims omg! Like I'm so so excited about Lou's story and her family (which I sent asks about before btw so that tells you) and I'm so excited about Rooney and Gianni and bby Ramona going to Japan (which is literally my fav country so my love for you and your blog just deepens with every second) and Santi just getting better somewhere (where? We don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it) I just ugh. Love your blog

OMGGGG AHHHDSGJHD THIS EXCITES ME SO MUCH THANK YOOOOUUUU I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED!!! i hope you enjoyed her family reveal today, there is much to still divulge in that area so strap the f*ck in. i have a really clear vision of what i want their japan experience to look like and hopefully it translates into the sims!! who freaking knows tho. i’m glad you’re looking forward to it either way. and yeah who tf knows where santi is right now. “going home” my ASS!! but yeah it is all beautiful in a way ;-; thank you so much my love for u deepens every second i reread this message, you’re so sweet ;__;

(TFB anon again aaaa) OKAY SO i could be wrong because you know him much better than i do obvioisly, but Grand Finale from the new album is giving me some santi vibes rn MMMMMM

HEY!!! i finally listened to the album and honestly...idk how i feel about it BUT i actually did like grand finale, and now that i’m listening to it again i can definitely sense the santi vibes!! (he has been listening to it nonstop since it came out ok) i love that u thought of him ;__; 

I got a retail job two weeks ago. And I hate it. I keep telling myself it’ll get better and then it just gets worse. It’s my first job and I just don’t know what to do. Any advice?

oh god. i don’t wanna be a downer but i don’t have much advice for this, retail SUUUUCKS. working in retail opens your eyes to just how stupid, helpless and annoying people can be. it’s not pretty. it CAN get better if you have coworkers you genuinely enjoy spending time with, who can lessen the burden of your responsibilities. joking around can help a lot, so if you’re not friends with them already, try to be!! just talk to them and i’m sure a relationship will grow. also remember it’s not the end of the world if this job doesn’t work out for you. you can find a new one, and you probably will at some point in the future. i’m gonna point you towards @essiesims because she works in retail so she probably has some words of wisdom for you...hopefully...be nice essie

I just realized my new haircut looks exactly like Fiona's hair and I'm 10x happier with it

GOOD!!! i love her hair, mine is sort of like it right now, messy and short lmao. if bby fiona makes you feel more confident by all means OWN dat haircut, you’re sexi

Can I ask if you watch Dan Howell? Bc his new video about his depression actually broke me and I need someone to hug

no i don’t but i googled him and my first thought was “OHH that’s the dan guy who’s gay with phil or whatever” i honestly don’t know who they are but i’ve seen a lot of gifs of them. i’m sorry his vid made you sad :{ U CAN HUG ME I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR U

I just wanted to let you know that I think you're absolutely amazing, and so creative, and your stories are beautiful. I have loved everything you've created, and you're sims are all so beautiful, and the stories are so heart-wrenching, and so well written, and I'm just so absolutely obsessed. I have your notifications on, and I get so excited every time I see you've posted something. :D Keep working hard, and be happy :)

omg ;____________; thank you so soso much ur gonna make me CRY i create everything for myself, but it makes it all feel 1000x more worth it to know it’s affected you this way and you’re enjoying it so much. my heart hurts in the best way. the fact that you have your NOTIFS ON FOR ME OMG i’m so sorry that i probably spam you so much with random asks and stuff. you’re probably like “when will this b*tch shut up” lmfao no but really this is so kind and sweet and it makes me feel warm inside, thank you so much <333

Can I get a link to your story in Chrono order? I'm on my phone and I'm not quite sure how to do it on here ^^'

here u go, or if you can’t click on it, copy and paste this: http://femmesim.tumblr.com/tagged/story/chrono as a general rule, you can go to any tag and add “/chrono” (no quotation marks) at the end and it’ll take you to the beginning.

hi femme! im sorry this is from older posts but how did you get ramona to look the way she did as a baby? thanks in advance!

hello i explained that here!

DEMI GIRL REPRESENTATION YES ILY

HELL YEAH ILY TOOOO

But if you were cisphobic you have a phobia of like a veeeery big part of the population o.o??? Still don't understand that ist even a thing

true! the reason cis people hold the must power in this equation is due large in part to the fact that they are a huge part of the population. so yeah it’s definitely not a thing.

What's cisgender??? Never heard of that

me neither tbh (but if ur not being sarcastic, here)

I love you sunny. Just so you know

Hey Sunny I love you 💕

HEY I LOVE YOU TOOOOO (you both sent this during the Trans Fiasco, and i fully appreciate your kindness in that bleak time)

yikes that anon was obnoxious as hell

this was also during the Trans Fiasco and yeah u right!

What mod do you use to make your sims taller? 😊

this one!

mom why does love hurt so much 😥

no one knows mi childe but i am here for u

^^ me goin after whoever hurt u

I literally just had such a bad nightmare I woke up, scared myself when I tried to reach for my phone and instead accidentally groped my poodle; which resulted in a panic attack. It’s 5am. Please help. I can obviously not take care of myself

GROPED YOUR POODLE OHMDFHOGODFSG I’M SO SORRY POODLE that sucks tho i’m so sorry about the nightmare and the poodle and the panic attack and EVERYTHING, that’s not fun :{ hopefully you got some rest and calmed down since you sent this. if not come to my house we can have a sleepover i will take care of u

I also have a large bra size (32H) and I'm still young so it's still growing.

OH WOOW ARE U OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE A DIFFICULT ENOUGH TIME HAVING DD’S

@that anon - not all trans ppl even experience dysphasia just admit Defeat

right! i think u meant dysphoria tho. maybe. unless you’re talking about something i don’t know about. but yeah you’re right, every trans person is different. a lot of them do want to change things about themselves, but not all.

hey im goin through an assholes blog and reblogging their posts with confusing internet funnyman comments, saw hate for your blog and decided to send you some support. keep doing what you love with your characters and content ❤❤ -♌🌿

LMAO HEY LEO LEAF were u going through that rando dude’s blog when the Trans Fiasco was happening? because there was some super weird ass blog dedicated to reblogging posts from nonbinary folks and people talking about nonbinary shit and just telling them they’re wrong and transphobic for not believing in the gender binary lmao...so anyways...if that’s not what ur talking about tho i’m sorry i just filled ur ears with that nonsense anyway thank you for this message, it’s so sweet ;__; sorry i didn’t answer it right away, i was recovering from the amount of ugly anons i was getting lmao. thank you for supporting me, ily <333

More Avey pls she's the light of my life

ASDFJHHJKSD SHE WILL APPEAR MUCH MORE JUST TO MAKE THE TROLLS MAD OKAY I LOVE U 💕💕

If another dumbass anon messages you about some silly shit regarding transgenders I’m going to scream. No. Not every trans person wants to transition physically— and no they don’t all want to stereotypical versions of whatever gender they identify with. I know a trans-male that wears makeup and twirls in dresses, and I know a trans-female that loves being a butch lesbian. Personally. I am glad that you’ve chosen to go the route that you have with your character. Fuck the ditsy assholes.

HEY I LOVE YOU AND THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH THANK YOU <33333 ur right, fuck them, they’re ugly anyway

Hey so I'm not like these other anons, I'm asking this as someone has next to no experience with trans people and actually wants to be educated instead of attack you. So if there are some trans people who don't transition and are comfortable with how they look, what exactly makes them uncomfortable with their birth gender?

a number of things, mainly just their discomfort with the category they’ve automatically been placed in from birth. but that doesn’t necessarily mean they want to change their body or dress a certain way.

I just wanna applaud you for handling the anons so calmly because I know for certain if they sent me that shit, my trans ass would have acted differently.

LMFAO omg i’m glad you thought i was being calm because i was like “well i guess it’s time to let out my bitchy side” thank you tho, i’m grateful you understand <3

I'm so sorry that Nonnie was such an ass! I wish we had more people speaking up and saying it loud like you did! It was pretty obvious that person has issues that a Tumblr post won't fix but it was nice to see you put them in there place :)

lmao yeah, after a few questions from them i figured it was just pointless. people like that don’t learn even if you’re trying to explain it to them calmly. they just always want to be right by alienating others, and they don’t even realize what they’re doing most of the time. it’s sad really, but i tried my best (and also tried my best not to unleash all my rage lmao) thank you <3

how can Ramona be sooo cute as a toddler?? like how? whats the secret

vitamins

lmao but really IDK i experimented a lot with her face at first and making a custom skin for her definitely helped too. :~}

/post/166031605558/the-pros-cons-of-dating-my-sim-ciarasia *gives Fiona a Beetlejuice & Ghostbusters and a Dexter dolls and stuffed animals and dolls verisons* I like Fiona I think we could get along with each other *gives Lou her fav kind of band shirts and starts counting her freckles* I don't think I'm gonna go mad trying to count

THIS IS SO SWEET AFKJDSKJNGJKLDLGD YOU’RE THEIR SOULMATE i’m gonna write u into the story now u made it

 I know a girl with heterochromia and she also has two different ear shapes. Sometimes I feel like she was meant to be a twin but she absorbed the other one lol. I feel like a weirdo sorry bye.

UR NOT A WEIRDO!!! omg that is funny tho, and very interesting. i wonder if a lot of ppl with heterochromia eyes are like that, with other two different body parts. i’m the twin she absorbed

if you're still doing astrology posts, I'm a Sun-Aries, Moon-Leo and Rising- Scorpio! I'm slowly getting into astrology but i still don't know what that means lol

OOOH SPICY flaming hot cheetos

aries + scorpio are both ruled by mars and then leo is ruled by the sun so holy heck you are probably WAY OUT THERE and by that i mean super outgoing probably, but maybe your scorp rising makes you a bit withdrawn and secretive, so people have to get close to you before they really see you come out. leo moon is one of my favorite placements because it’s so weird, but often i find leo moons can be even more exuberant than leo suns. you probably have a flair for dramatics and love attention even though you might deny it. you really march to the beat of your own drum, but be careful not to be condescending to others about it!!

oh my god all of this astrology stuff is so interesting! idk if you're still doing them, but if you are i'd love to hear about mine: virgo sun, scorpio moon and scorpio rising :) it's totally okay if you're sick of doing these and i'm in no rush to get an answer!

oooooh my mom and beyonce both have virgo sun/scorp moon combos. that’s how u know it’s a good one even tho it seems scary. i find that virgos often have the potential to be very in charge and domineering, but a lot of them bury that potential because they don’t realize they have it inside themselves, and so they let people walk all over them. especially with a scorpio moon, you crave intensity in all forms: through your emotions, relationships, deepest, darkest thoughts, you feel them so powerfully that sometimes it’s too scary and overwhelming for you. learn to trust in that instead of being scared and you will open a new door in your life, especially in combination with your virgo sun, whose inclination is to learn new things and get to the bottom of every mystery. with a scorpio moon AND rising, you are actually that mystery. you might spend a lot of time trying to figure out yourself, but don’t get too introspective because that leads to overthinking and self deprecation.

hey yo i don't need you to do the thing but I'd just like to inform you that i'm a pisces sun leo moon...which is the strangest combo but totally makes sense for my personality. i don't know what any of the other stuff is lmao. but i got a book on astrology so i'm going to learn

OMG i love that combo...it is really weird but somehow the two suit each other. lou and my bff are actually leo sun/pisces moons (so opposite from you lmao, but that’s the reason i like those signs together!) leos have a very active imaginations and pisces just exacerbates that. i feel like in terms of boldness and outgoing nature, it could go either way for you. since pisces suns are usually more understated and quiet, that could fit you. but i often find that leo moons with literally any other placements will make you quite outgoing, sometimes obnoxious. so maybe you flip flop between shyness and outgoingness, especially since pisces focuses on adaptability anyway. 

omg yay yes learn all the things!! report back to me if u find out any cool stuff

I don't know if you're still doing this but if you are please do my birth chart, Virgo sun, Taurus moon, and Rising Sagittarius (if you're not doing them anymore it's fine

oh dang u earthy as F*CK. i would hate to get on your bad side, you are probably stubborn as hell and refuse to move from any position you hold. your sagittarius rising also probably makes you warm and inviting but competitive as heck. these are the two earth signs that i actually think go with sag really well! for some reason they always have a weird connection. i’ve talked about it a bit before. you are probably super chill and people like to hang out with you because you just do nothing and be homebodies but still have a good time. you might be prone to worry and restlessness, but listen to your intuition that tells you to calm down and focus on taking things slow.

Okay so I'm apparently a Leo sun, Scorpio moon and a Leo ascendant. What does this even mean help me lmao

OOH WOW ANOTHER SPICY BOY...honestly the first word that came to mind was “battleborn”. lmao you’re probably always looking for something/someone to keep up with your pace and stimulate your needs, and you probably get discouraged a lot because no one can ever match your wild personality. you can probably be overbearing without even realizing, and because of that, not many people can handle you. like i said before, scorpio moons crave intensity, and leos are already intense in their own way, so these two signs (especially the double leo influence) just really kinda egg each other on. so be careful not to get too carried away with doing The Most all the time.

[liu-lang]

mental health & job stuff - tw: eating disorders, anxiety, sexual assault, self harm 

this week has been difficult. on tuesday and thursday, I saw my new therapist and psychiatrist respectively. 

the moment i saw my therapist’s office, i had reservations on whether she could relate to me. she was a white woman, perhaps in her 30s who was wearing one of those ... convertible skirts ?... you know the one where you can wear as a skirt with a foldable waist band thing tt also can be worn as a tube top dress. i just google’d convertible skirt and patanogia came up (white ppl who have the luxury of time and money to go camping in the summer brand). her office smelt like one of those autumn-scented candles. she had a chakra wall hanging / scroll thing. the appointment started off pretty open-ended. i think she was trying to give me ~space~ to open up so that the conversation flowed naturally. but i just felt kinda lost bc it took me months through 2 clinics and 3 intake appts to finally see her. @ tt point, i’m tired of hearing “so tell me why you’re here today” .... my scepticism increased exponentially  when she recommended practising yoga, being present and mindfulness training. honestly, idk why she works there ? bc she’s serving patients seeking treatment through the LA County Department of Mental Health. considering the issues they face and their lived experiences and socioeconomic status, i don’t think following a 10-min yoga lesson through an app (she seriously tried to recommend an app to me) is gonna make a difference. anyway, my next appt is in another 3 weeks. 

my psychiatrist is an older Filipino women, maybe in her 40s or 50s ... and the way she talks kinda reminds me of my mum (who is a big trigger for me). she asked lots of racially microaggressive questions before reading my file. really reminds me of how my mum exotifies my sisters and i for being mixed. i had to repeat details about my race, country i grew up and family structure a lot. she asked about my religious beliefs and i affirmed that i still identify as a muslim then she asked me if all muslim women have to go through female genital mutilation (there is a history of FGM in my family) ... and just, i can’t. her question came out more as a statement that she wanted me to confirm. i had to explain how it’s more of a mix of sociocultural factors than religious practise, tt not every muslim woman is subjected to it and there is an international response to educate these communities on its harmful effects. 

she also brought up the sexual assault tt happened when i was in high school. i alr felt distrustful and uncomfortable @ tt point ... i couldn’t make myself refer to him as a paedophile. she asked me who was this man and i just like... lost for words ? felt too ashamed ? ... i’m really stuck on how i couldn’t just refer to him for what he was. i guess i do have lots of lingering issues feeling like i am to blame for what happened. we also ran into some issues with my rx. my current pcp didn’t recommend me for my usual annual cardiology visit bc she believes i’ve been stable for a long enough time. but my psychiatrist strongly prefers if i can get an ECG. she did give me a rx for 10 mg lexapro though so... we’ll see how tt goes. i decided to finally seek medication because of my anxiety at work. i didn’t want it to affect my job performance. they also took my vitals ... the usual stuff, my blood pressure is low and i’m underweight. i need to go back for blood work on tuesday. 

speaking of job performance ... i went to a career fair at my alma mater. i had a federal work study position at the career development center as a communications assistant (basically a combo of outreach, distribution, marketing, social media management, data anallytics) so it was different to be on the other side of things. one of the employers present contacted me for an interview. the interview was successful and they extended me an offer. then they gave me the runaround for 2 weeks and i received an email yesterday rescinding the job offer. needless to say, i was blindsided. here’s the time line of events

10/19 thursday - attended job fair

10/20 friday - received a call to schedule an interview then an email confirmation for interview

10/24 tuesday - went in for interview (had to move my psychiatrist appt which essentially changed my psychiatrist so ... idk if i could have had a better fit. i’m miffed abt this.)

10/25 wednesday - phone call from HR offering me the position, they told me i could have until 10/30 to make a decision. they also said they wanted a 11/06 start date if possible. i told them i had to give 2 weeks notice at my current employer as proper protocol

10/27 friday - i rang HR and left a voicemail indicating i’d be interested and wanted to discuss benefits etc 

10/30 monday - i rang HR again and told them i had left them a message on friday and would love to hear back from them soon. no phone call back. in the afternoon, i sent an email to the recruiter i originally handed my resume to letting him know i’ve been unsuccessful in reaching the HR person and would appreciate an update. he rang me back assuring me the offer was still on the table and they would gladly have me and he would email me an official offer by the end of day, also stressed 11/06 start date and i again repeated the 2 weeks notice spiel and could HR send me a summary of the benefits 

11/01 wednesday - i ring HR and finally speak to the HR person. she didn’t receive any of my messages and the recruiter didn’t inform her of what i requested. she said she usually is not in the office mondays and fridays. she sounds in a hurry and is in the middle of doing payroll. i keep it short and express interest in accepting the offer. could i have summary of the health insurance plan and possibly negotiate a slightly higher salary ? she agrees to send me a official written offer by the end of the day or tomorrow. again they emphasise 11/06 start date... i’m like really confused but just repeat that i would love to start asap but also what about 2 weeks notice

11/02 thursday - i receive an email from HR rescinding the job offer with the explanation they had already filled in all the positions they were recruiting for. 

this post is getting super long. there were red flags abt this company from the beginning but i was holding out hope bc surely a university would have thoroughly vetted the employers they invite to a career fair. also bc i worked for the CDC and knew these employers & established a rapport through my position there. i’m still trying to process everything. i’m mostly crushed at the realisation tt i will have to work another black friday in retail. i would hear things abt ppl not being able to work bc of mental health issues. i nvr discredited them but i also didn’t really have a concept of it ? now i have a lived experience. it is tortuous having to think of slogging through another holiday season when i was so close to leaving. i had a co-worker who just left and we were congratulating each other on finally getting out. it feels so defeating and depressing to still be stuck / left behind. this feels so much worse than an outright rejection. added onto normal anxiety associated w/ the recent grad job hunt, now i’m catastrophising what if this happens with another potential employer ? i keep wondering about the reasons why they rescinded ? maybe i shouldn’t have negotiated ? maybe i should have just accepted when they rang - i didn’t have any other offers on the table... maybe i tried to get in touch with them too much ? maybe i didn’t pass the background check ? maybe something went wrong w/ my references ? ...even though they kept insisting on like an impossible start date plus never sending me an official offer therefore preventing me from resigning and agreeing to their start date. i kinda want to have a meeting with my ex boss to let her know about my experience and maybe get advice on um... being aware of warning signs to prevent this from happening again ? but i don’t want it to sound like i’m blaming the university for bringing on shady companies ... i know my experience is not reflective of everyone else’s. it’s hard not to internalise this and feel like there is something wrong with me. another thing is ... i have like no written evidence of everything in between so on email it just looks like i had an interview and then they rejected me. and my phone calls which they nvr answered looks like i was the one hounding them when ... understandably i wanted to move the hiring process along bc they were adamant on the 11/06 start date. i also needed the time to make the very big financial decision of buying a fucking car in order to get to work (the office is in orange county which has 0 convenient transport options esp. going btwn LA and orange counties) 

i’m really anxious abt having more allergic reactions at work - especially bc the managers now know. i have an appt with an allergist but it’s not until january. idk if my skin can survive. i can hide it when it’s on my body but lately it’s been flaring up on my hands - which i use to touch merchandise, handle money, stock shelves, build displays ... just lots of touching and hand contact with possible allergens. i cried in the car after work yesterday and have been battling thoughts of self harm since wednesday. sigh... i’ll have to call this afternoon asking for next week’s work schedule at the store. tt familiar feeling of being overwhelmed and wanting everything to stop is coming back. 

[pacman-tattoo]

Okay so we got the boys as big brothers but I'm curious,,, what about the BMC girls as big sisters???? :0

omg yes yes yes i’ve been thinking about this but i’ve been avoiding doing it since i’ve had requests aka im using this as an excuse to do it

i just put everyone under the cut since i did all of them so

thank u nonny

Christine

best. older sister. ever.

if you’re into musical theatre, it’s a huuuuge bonding experience!!!! i headcanon christine started when she was a kid and always loved it so just

imagine getting into it when ur in middle school/high school????

christine helps you with stage makeup and teaches you how to do it properly and what the right amount of stuff is!!!!

if ur not into acting n stuff, you work crew or lights maybe

or you just come to every show and cheer her on!!!!

internally you’re just like “THATS!!! MY SISTER!!!!”

although the play she did junior year was kinda weird

all her theatre friends know you

like?? you could have never done theatre and everyones like “IS THAT [y/n]???”

christine will jam out to showtunes in her car and she gets INTO IT and its rly fun and sometimes the two of you have duets 

also the two of you will sing like 50 different parts for one song

can i be honest and say christine probably has sO MANY PICS OF U TWO LIKE

CLOSEST SIBLINGS EVER

also sometimes people are like “do u two fight” and ur like “no???? why would we” “ur siblings” “i mean yeah but have u seen her?? does she seem like the person who would fight over dumb things? like the closest thing we’ve gotten to a fight is when i said one of her musicals was ‘okay’ and thats because i didnt even listen to half the soundtrack”

… u two… watch bootlegs together….

“JUST LOOK AT HIM HE’S AN ANGEL” “CHRISTINE U NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM I KNOW HE’S AN ANGEL”

ok not theatre-related stuff

christine!!! is just!!! really positive a lot!!!

but like, you kinda get to see her being unsure sometimes

if anyone talks shit about her yOU ARE R EA D Y TO F I GH T

christine takes meds for ADD and often you’ll remind her in the mornings just in case she forgets (which is rare unless she’s had a late rehearsal the night before! but she still appreciates it!!)

christine knows exactly how to cheer you up! like, you like sitting back and watching movies? she’s got u. you like petting dogs? well, the best she can do is pictures at the moment but she will sent u all!! the dog pics!!!!

i hc that she’s really into romcoms so sometimes she takes u to the movies with her and its fun

ok but like

midnight chats with christine where the two of you just kinda aimlessly ramble together and its a very nonjudgmental time and you two talk through things

also helping christine by running through lines with her. thats all

u and christine have a lot of videos of u two doing stuff like ur own lil skits and ur own “cooking show” together as kids and it’s really cute

i just rly love christine and its rly obvious

Chloe

i mentioned how with jake as ur big bro you get a lot of ppl like “oh, ur jake’s lil sibling” and it’s the exact way with chloe

except you get a lot more fuckboys. its gross. you’ve told off a few of them.

alright i’ve had this headcanon but like

fuck gender roles completely. chloe does ur makeup and you feel like a god damn boss

like, ur eyeliner could cut a man.

brooke is around a lot and shes nice to u (sometimes nicer than chloe is)

honestly chloe is rly confident and she strikes me as the kind of person where like, you could be having a bad day and she’d just compliment u but in a way that ur like “is… is that a compliment or are u mad that im sad”

its both.

can i say that chloe is kinda terrible? to other people? like she can be kinda crass toward you a lot but she has these little moments where she’s actually a decent big sister (like her doing ur makeup???)

but even then you two fight and its not rly a good time but one of u will apologize if its Really Really Bad

i like to imagine chloe’s parents have moments like “take [y/n] with you” and shes just “ughh fine”

her friends dont rly mind since ur mostly quiet

“anyway she’s kind of a slut-” “chloe don’t fucking call other girls sluts”

the two of u argue. some of her friends are recording u two fukn fighting

softly theres just someone going fight fight fight fight

it probably ends up on social media

so people know..

you have a couple people like “YO!!! U FOUGHT WITH CHLOE????”

“yeah i mean she’s my older sister so… i can call her our on her shit i guess?” “WHAT T HE  FUCK SHES UR SISTER????”

“wait she signed up for the play?? wtf who else is in it” “jake dillinger-” “god damn it chloe.”

im not even gonna touch on anything that happened at the halloween party other than just you were glad she got out unscathed in the end. 

but after some rumors fly u dont rly trust her??? as much???

anyway. moving on.

Brooke

actual Good

“why do you hang out with chloe?” “w-what do you mean?” “no offense but……she seems…..kiiinda bitchy……..”

brooke doesn’t talk to u until u apologize

which honestly is understandable bc chloe’s kind of her bestie and u just insulted her so

anyway

very gentle big sister

shes in play??? u will be there like!!! “thats cool i didnt know u were into theatre”

i feel like i talk about the play in every headcanon i do but its such a big part so

wait is she dating this guy

she seems to??? kinda like him??? he sounds nice

whats his name

jerry or something

ur ready to fight him tho like, remember brooke’s ex who cheated on her??? u may or may not have called him out.

and possibly punched him.

and possibly gotten beat up

dont fuck with football players

brooke comes home from jake’s halloween party kinda early and shes rly upset and ur just like “wHO HURT U”

ur gonna fight chloe and jeremy.

maybe.

anyway u kinda sit around with her trying to cheer her up

the next day the two of u go to the mall or pinkberry or somewhere to cheer her up

then chloe calls

“brooke please dont pick it up”

she doesn’t.

and then she does after chloe texts her and ur like “brooke n o o o”

ok so uh

brooke is a sweet big sister even if she’s not there 24/7

imagine being asked on a date by someone cute and ur like ‘fUCK BROOKE H E L P HOW THE FUCK’ and she helps u look cute and calms u down

a sweet bab

i love her

Jenna

im just gonna go ahead and get it out of the way: you know a loooot of shit since jenna knows everything

jenna is protective and no one dares to say shit about u because like

rumors fly? she’ll debunk them AND find the fucking source and tell them off

someone insults u and she hears it? she will F I G H T

someone insults and makes u feel bad and she always finds out because she’s rly good at noticing things??? she will either cheer u up or approach the person herself

or both

i dont care where u guys go but ur family will go on summer road trips and you and jenna take selfies everywhere like

close siblings. the good shit.

honestly jenna is probably the kind of person who watches tv with u and sometimes she ends up not sleeping a lil so she just keeps watching whatever show and then shes like

wait shit i cant spoil this for them

jenna sits next to u and ur like “you already know whats gonna happen dont u” “yeah” “gdi”

jenna strikes me as the kind of person who would be a vlogger imo

being her sibling u get pulled into her vlogs sometimes

theres no warning shes just recording u at 12 am in the kitchen like

“hey [y/n] what are u doing” and u just staring at the oven “baking cookies what does it look like-” and u look up and shes recording and ur like “ayy”

late night snapchat story consists of her and u watching stuff together bc neither of u can sleep

sometimes she just gets a “jenna go to bed”

it never happens

i wish

i had more headcanons for her but i d on t

thats all babes 

[gwynne-fics]

[Twisted to a Fault Chapter 93 — banner by mrshobbes]

Lexi has made me lovely banners for some of the chapters. She’s complied them all for us. Please take a look! They are fabulous and she is amazing!

Twisted to a Fault Master List

Chapter 93: 2195 words

=====

By the time lunch came around, Rachel had three more looks to give to her team for critique when she went into work tomorrow morning. Not even the obscenely early morning run with Young-Do could dampen her mood. He was much too cheerful in the mornings. At least she had access to his private gym so she could run without other people listening to her grunt into her handsfree device.

Hyo-Shin set down her favorite smoothie before he took the seat next to her. “You look happy. I hope it is product of last night.” He handed her a piece of paper. “I could probably just email it to you, but I was bored in one of my pre-law classes this morning.”

Rachel eagerly took the list of movies and skimmed it. She raised her eyebrows. “These are mostly independent films. I don’t have that refined of taste.”

“It’s mostly been Bo-Na and I picking. Chan-Young and Eun-Sang listen to her. Ye-Sol and Myung-Soo always text me for advice. Every once in a while, Eun-Sang throws a horror movie in at us and we don’t sleep for a week.” He smiled as he lazily leaned back in his chair. “We’re open to new ideas.”

“You don’t have a single action thriller or romantic comedy on here. It’s all art films to make you think or…movies with Mega Entertainment talent. You didn’t notice that Bo-Na was doing clandestine research on you?”

Hyo-Shin laughed and sipped at his drink. “Of course, I did. We all did. No one likes to call out Bo-Na. She pouts and whines and it’s adorable only to her boyfriend. We’re a finely tuned ecosystem but we’re stuck in a rut and I don’t want to tell Eun-Sang that she can’t pick another slasher film. I assumed you had better taste than that.”

Rachel pursed her lips. “I like action movies.”

“Then pick one. Rachel, don’t try too hard to please all of us. Just pick what you like, from the snacks to the drinks to the movie. We’re your friends. That allows you some leeway. We’re also new at being friends, which means, at the very least, we’ll be polite.”

And talk about her behind her back. Bile briefly rose up in her throat as Rachel remembered the hundreds of conversations she’d overheard about her in bathrooms or around corners. Ye-Sol had some very nasty things to say and while Rachel knew she deserved some of them, it hurt to listen to Bo-Na agree that she was the worst girl in existence. Until her stupid engagement to Tan, she and Bo-Na had been friends. They had matching bows in their hair and everything. It felt like a lifetime ago. Rachel swallowed and nodded at Hyo-Shin.

“I don’t think anyone but you actually wants to be friends with me, sunbae.” She occupied her hands with her drink and tried not to watch him frown out of the corner of her eye. “Myung-Soo is my boyfriend’s best friend and he doesn’t even like me very much. It’s okay,” she said quickly. “I’m not looking for pity. It’s just the truth. I’m terrified of being lonely when Young-Do leaves. If it weren’t for that, I probably wouldn’t care about them either.”

“I think they will surprise you. I think you will surprise them.” He nudged his thigh against hers. “Where did this self-deprecation come from? It’s very new.”

“Is it?” Rachel shrugged and then nudged him back as she pulled out the reason for their lunches—his notes on the class he recommended her for. They only had about fifteen more minutes for him to distill the main points for her. “We found each other outside of a psychiatrist’s office, sunbae. I think we both have dark corners we try to hide behind false bravado.”

“I guess it never occurred to me that your bravado was false. I thought you owned high school.”

“I was engaged at fifteen during a time most girls get to focus on class or what cute boy they sit behind. My mother was divorced and remarrying without any hint of shame. I didn’t have the luxury of being anything but brave. You weren’t there when it fell apart.”

“I know. You’ve mentioned that before.” He put his hand over hers. “I think you’re a lot more courageous than you give yourself credit. I wish I had half your bravery. I honestly didn’t think you would come last night. I’m really glad you did.”

Rachel gave a wry smile and as she opened the notebook. “Desperation looks a lot like bravery on the outside. Come on. We keep wasting our lunches with personal stuff. I need to get a good grade in this class to justify taking it. If I’m struggling by midterms, I’m making you tutor me.”

His grin was closed lipped but she thought there was a spark in his eyes she hadn’t seen since they reconnected. “Don’t tempt me.”

“I always want to tempt you. I’ll always be curious.”

“So will I.” He leaned close to look at his old notes. “I think you’ll enjoy today’s lecture. It’s about picking clear and concise styles that reflect the essence of the character. She’s going to go on a rant about the coordinator picking the wrong things. She’s campaigning to have it be a required course for the production tract.”

Until the bell rang, Rachel lose herself in the soft cadence of his voice as he went into tutoring mode. He must have learned it from the tutor he fell in love with in high school. It was pleasant to listen to. She had to blink and bite her tongue several times so she didn’t lose track of what he was saying.

“Well, today should be interesting then,” she said as they walked to her classroom. “After my next project at work, I should talk to my mother about how PPL works.”

“You’re also going to get your semester project in this lecture. You have to do a design board for the four main characters of one of the upcoming dramas being pitched. If you want, I can bring mine next week. I did alright. You’ll probably be able to see why she wasn’t completely enamored with it.”

“You got a bad grade? I think I’m shocked.”

Hyo-Shin snorted as they paused outside the door. “I didn’t get a perfect grade so it’s basically the same thing. My mother gets irritated when I’m not perfect at everything, but especially my major classes. I still got an exceptional, final grade. That’s all that counts.”

“My mother probably has the same expression. It shows up when I don’t do well in business mathematics. She wants me to take an accounting course before I graduate. She’s probably right but I’ll dread it all the same.”

The warning bell rang and Rachel pulled back from him. She didn’t like that he had to sprint across the campus to get to his next class, no matter how much he disliked it. His professor had a habit of locking the doors five minutes in and no letting late students in.

“Good luck. Let know how it goes.” Hyo-Shin bowed slightly and then took off. Rachel went into class and for the first time in most of her college experience, she was excited about an academic project. She really liked Park sonsaeng-nim’s lecture style and the way she focused the class on the practicalities of fashion design for fictional characters. Hyo-Shin was right to recommend this class to her.

Rachel took her own copious notes and didn’t rely on Hyo-Shin’s despite how good they were. She wanted her thoughts to supplement his academic mind. But it was Park sonsaeng-nim’s final closing that had her heart racing.

“I’ve been contacted by the costuming department in the production company putting together this drama. It is one of the rare dramas that will be completely pre-produced. They will judge your design boards and choose the student whose work reflects the vision most in line with the characters they are creating. It will be a blind presentation. I know some of you are interning at fashion design companies this semester. This could be the kind of thing on your resume to get you a full-time position. Do not squander it.”

Rachel felt excitement burst through her. They would get the script for the first episode. If she could do this and be the design board chosen, Mother would have to be impressed. Team Leader Baek would have to stop looking at her like a parachute. And if Rachel balanced school and work to the success of both, maybe she could prove to herself that she could balance Zeus and RS International.

She knew she was the best choice available to Young-Do. She just wanted to be the right choice. She also wanted to be able to sleep and socialize these next two years. Maybe she should attempt to see another doctor to give her sleeping pills. These nights without Young-Do were getting restless and frustrating.

The rest of her business classes were incredibly dull in comparison. Rachel texted Hyo-Shin that he underplayed the amazingness of this assignment. He sent her back some emoticons just as her school email pinged. Rachel frowned at the request from Park sonseang-nim’s request to meet with her during her office to discuss the assignment.

Rachel clenched her jaw and took several deep breaths that didn’t cleanse her of any anxiety. She replied that she would be there but didn’t ask the reason for the meeting. She already knew—she was the heir of RS International and Rachel wasn’t allowed to do whatever might be considered cheating. This wasn’t Jeguk where she was expected to use her family’s connections to get the highest grade.

It bummed her out. She wanted to text Young-Do to complain but he would just point out that she was preemptively worrying. Instead, Rachel texted Ji-Sun that she wanted to go clubbing. She slept better after exercise and a few drinks. Ji-Sun was delighted and offered to pick her up from Zeus so her car wouldn’t be seen in the scandalous neighborhood.

It felt a little bit like a date but Rachel didn’t really hesitate to agree. Ji-Sun knew she had a boyfriend but Rachel wasn’t ready to tell her that they were just friends. She didn’t want to lose Ji-Sun because she couldn’t like her back.

As she made her way to her teacher’s office, Rachel tried to figure out what she would wear to Lilac Breeze. Part of her wondered how many patrons were like her—straight girls sick of boys groping at them at clubs. Myung-Soo constantly wanted Young-Do to go out dancing with him and the bevy of girls he had around him ever since they were in high school. Young-Do wouldn’t go without Rachel after they graduated high school.

Looking back on it, it felt silly that she hadn’t noticed she was turning him on when they danced, especially now that she knew how large he was, but she hadn’t because, when it came to noticing stuff like sexuality, she was blind until someone else pointed it out.

Rachel sighed at herself and knocked on Park sonsaeng-nim’s door and entered at her command. She smiled and gestured for Rachel to sit down. Thankfully, she got to the point. “I cannot stop you from using the resources of your company for this project or using it for a marketing opportunity. You are not a film or production student but I can see how something like this will appeal to your mother.”

She tried not to clench her jaw. “My mother already emailed you.”

“A personal visit. I’m used to involved mothers. She was more polite and less dismissive than Lee Hyo-Shin’s mother. I know why he recommended you for this course. You are doing well despite not having any of the prerequisites. I just ask that you take care to follow the guidelines exactly and do the project individually without the aid of your trillion won company.”

“I’m a design major, sonsaeng-nim. That is what I want to do because I have decades before I become president. I always do my own work. I hope this means I’m not automatically disqualified from the production company’s consideration.”

“No. President Lee would sue the university. Her reputation precedes her.”

“I won’t lie. I did see this project as an opportunity for my corporate interests. I don’t intend to squander it but I promise to follow all the guidelines. I won’t speak with anyone at RS International about it unless my design boards are picked. I’ve already read the script you gave us, along with the character guidelines. I’m confident in my abilities as a designer. I’m a good student and I’ve enjoyed your class. I hope I continue to do so.”

Rachel stood because Mother would want her to end this on her terms. She bowed and turned to leave. Park sonsaeng-nim didn’t stop her and Rachel hoped she hadn’t broken all good will between them as teacher and student.

And she couldn’t even yell at Mother for being a helicopter.

[approximately7bees]

hello  i had a goood evening.

tonight was my 21st birthday and I went out with a guy from tinder who i have been talking to for maybe like a week

which is like.. really this milestone with a dude you literally haven’t ever met isn’t that asking for trouble. well you’d think so, but it was maybe one of the best birthdays i’ve ever had. this guy drives an hour to Manhattan. he buys me dinner. he gives me Ed Sheeran’s newest album (I definitely did not expect a gift ???) we go to coldstone. i pay for mine before he has the chance to offer or not offer because why is this guy buying me so much like honestly i don’t need it he barely knows me ??? we walk around a bit and go to a bar. he buys both of us: a jaeger bomb (??cough syrup ???), a pineapple/rum wells, a terrific drink with UV blue and sierra mist and sour it was so bomb, and some rootbeer float flavored shot. like wtf this guy is so nice we do not know each other that well and he bought all of this stuff just because it is my birthday ????????

um anyway he���s so fucking cute and nice and he can sing and honestly the only thing that isn’t great is he lives an hour away and honestly i could see myself falling in love hahaha, so. like. i dunno !!!! and i’m out of town this weekend and next but like legit i don’t know my dudes... i dunno.. i am sleepy but i’m waiting until around when he should get home to text him so i don’t distract him while driving and i’m just gonna be like you’re the nicest person ever and you’re really cute and i wanna see you again (i already told him i want to see him again when we parted ways lol but the point stands ) seriously he was so cute i’m losing my mind. i dunno if we feel similarly at all lol oh well worse comes to worse I get heartbroken which frankly i feel like i deserve so *shrug shrug shrug*

ok bye tumblr i love you

update omg i sent the text last night that was like thanks so much for dinner/drinks/gift i didn’t expect the gift that was so nice you’re seriously like the nicest person i’ve met. also you’re really cute. but thanks for a great night i really want to see you again

so he replies thanking me and saying you’re welcome and he says “definitely you are the nicest and the most beautiful person i’ve ever met!” and i literally was tearing up ?? i was also like tipsy still but wtf that is so nice why is this guy so perfect.. and then he was saying next time I should visit him 1 hour away and i don’t like driving but like I’m definitely going to do that haha. just stinks i’m busy for the next two weekends but i’ll make it work. 

update 2: electric boogaloo

WELP. in one of my signature “looking at things i will regret” episodes i found his facebook which has helped me learn he has a kid. he has a kid that  was born almost exactly two months ago ... something maybe you’d think would be like a relevant thing to tell someone ..... but neither him nor the mom have relationship info so can’t tell if they have the kid but aren’t together (he has roommates, so not living together either way) which if they are together wtf don’t freaking buy me stuff wth. but even if they aren’t together like.. a kid? generally if someone says on tinder they have a kid i’m like cool, pass........

idk i guess I’ll wait and see if he ever tells me he has a CHILD (i sent him a facebook request before I realized it was his kid in the picture so i’m assuming him seeing the request would mean he  knows i know ??) but man that really set the brakes for me honestly lol which probably is shitty idk i just have these notions about ppl who have kids by accident i guess based on seeing other people do it and like my upbringing. anyway i was really tired and now i’m noooot which sucks because i have to be up early tomorrow tooooo. but i mean aside from the kid thing and assuming he isn’t in a relationship he seems so great so idek. i’ll probably update this again because idk why not