#syd straw

[folkimplosionmusic]

April 26, 1991

[swartzmark]

[nedison]

THE GOLDEN PALOMINOS

worth the price of admission simply to hear T-Bone Burnett sing a song written by Peter Blegvad. Powerful powerful stuff!

As if he wanted to be alone—as if we wanted to be an undistinguished derelict, a prophet with no prophecy to speak...

[dinosaursr66]

Thank you night-picture-collector for refreshing my memory on the greatness of this song and album.

SONG OF THE DAY - Tuesday, February 6, 2024

[pompadorbz]

in a crow man mood today so heres a really really rough q!phil concept that i dont entirely like. might fuck around with this when i get home from classes today. heart.

[aki-salunar]

Syd Straw Que Sera Sera

[sydcarmyfan]

Like onions, Sydney Adamu has many layers

There are many layers to Sydney but as Sydney has a wall around her, it is hard to see all the layers. We mostly get to see the outer layer.

However, Carmy starts to peel off the layers. In Brigade, he says, ‘’where are the onions? They prepped?’’ This is the first time we see Carmy and Syd at odds (with passion) so after, Sydney starts to cut the onions to the point that she cuts herself then the crew play a prank on her and hide her onions which is the last straw and she tells them to fuck off.

Similar to Syd in Brigade, onions become the last straw for Carmy in Braciole; he becomes teary after looking at the onions in the walk-in. After the apron and the notebook, the onions made him miss Syd even more. Thankfully Syd comes back to him after he reaches out. Interesting that Syd was frying onions when she received Carmy’s text.

After Syd comes back to him, Carmy continues to break down Sydney’s wall and Carmy starts to see the layers he would otherwise not see. He sees that she loves to take care of people. He gets to see that she is afraid of failing. He sees Sydney.

Carmy is shown gently holding an onion when he is out food shopping before cooking for his friend who is a girl, but why was this specific item shown to us? Sydney be on his mind rent free. This man was definitely thinking back on the memory of him and Sydney nearly kissing passionately in front of the whole crew.

[kylejsugarman]

its actually enough to drive a rational man to madness to think about how howard and jimmy were more alike than they ever were different. i mean, what was howard's adoption of the whole "namaste" mindset if not a less intense version of jimmy's transformation into saul goodman?? what were they both doing if not running from something and changing themselves to escape it?? what were they if not brothers seeking approval and love from chuck their father????

[dolyx]

(alnst au… luka!wraith using tala's guilt of corrupting sydney against xem.)

[yannaryartside]

Why Sydney should leave to open her own place

I am gonna list my reasons from the least to the most significant, but they are all pretty brutal.

She may be the next Andrea Terry in her way to manage a kitchen, and the culinary world needs that. I want to see Syd doing that; she deserves a reputation and success outside that bear’s kitchen, no more struggle love rewards, I am sorry.

In the real world, only one black woman has ever won a michelling star, her name is Mariya Moore-Russell, and she is from Chicago, so the series could do something really special if Sydney gets a star.

The bear may collapse due to the reckless expenses they had and Cicero's money situation, and it is better if she is not legally tied to that shit.

Sydney deserves to give her father a better living/heathcare situation and this may be the only way to do it for a while.

Syd needs to find and respect her own vision outside Carmys standards. She keeps thinking that he is more talented than her, and he may be, but she will never surpass her limits if everything that needs to be approved or defined by him. I particularly like the idea of Carmy eating the best meal of his life at Sydney’s restaurant. I cannot emphasize this enough, but women’s ambitions are always secondary to men’s in most narratives; her name in the culinary industry deserves to be engraved on her own merits, not on Carmy’s tail. She will only believe how great she is on her own if she sees it with her own eyes.

This is a personal preference, thinking of their possible future together. Syd needs to know that she can leave. I have no doubt she has feelings for Carmen, she needs to understand she can go, so if they ever get involved romantically, she will know that loving him has his limts. Think of Bones when Temperance kicked Booth out of the house because of his addiction. She said, “I love you, but until you figure out your shit, I don't wanna be with you.”

But more than anything, because Carmy said he won't be doing cooking without her, and I want to see how far that is true, even if he heals from his abuse (from his former ec) even if he gets his family and even Claire back, I want to see how he will react to that missing piece that he has been relaying on the whole show. It may the last straw to him recognizing how fucked up he is mentally. There is a reason the show started when they met.

Of course, she will still be part of the main narrative and always be in Carny’s mind. I want to see glimpses of this new life, her new team, and maybe be involved with Luca. Her new recipes, a tribute to her origins.

It doesn't have to be a permanent thing either, give Carmy a year of therapy and we can talk terms and conditions.

I may be wrong of course, let me know what you think.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Michael Berzatto is immortal

Being the eldest and Donna's favest, came with a price.

He paid with his own life.

In a sense, Michael always tried to shield his 2 younger siblings from the liabilities of being a Berzatto.

That's why he was their "best friend". Because his life mission was protecting/shielding the two cubs, from the enemies.

Whether that meant trying to protect them - to the best of his abilities- from Donna herself, from the pressure of handling the family business that was always about to go under, never really thriving, from themselves and their own shortcomings, etc... He took the blows so his siblings didn't have to. -They did anyway, but he tried to prevent that-.

Pushing his baby brother away -even when Carmy didn't see it or feel it that way- was his way to protect him and set him free so he could realize his full potential, which Mickey knew was never gonna happen if Carmy was confined within The Beef's kitchen making sandwiches.

And among probably a million other stuff his role entailed:

Being always Sugar's airbag when her savior complex got the better of her and exposed her to Donna's wrath.

Being the one who picked up the pieces of, or tried to mend, all the broken relationships in the family, such as Donna's failed marriage, and the toxic mother-daughter relationship Donna and Sugar had all the time.

Being Carmy's best friend because otherwise he wouldn't have any.

IMO in essence that's why Michael ended up killing himself: always trying to be everyone's best friend, or in other words "The Shield".

He was "hilarious". Aha, yeah right. Tell me more...

He carried all that pain inside

Mikey wouldn't express it because that would have been detrimental to the role he felt he had to play in the family. IDK to what extent that role was self-imposed or actually assigned by others at a fairly young age, when he didn't know better, or couldn't fight back, anyhow, he eventually ended up buying fully into it. And one way or the other the result was the same: The cumulative effect of always being the shield was what ended up killing him.

The bullet was just the consequence, but his role was the actual cause of that pain and ultimately his death. A role he could never break free from because he chose the addiction path, or fell into it. But the point is that because of that he couldn't break that cycle he was trapped in of being the scapegoat and in a sense the martyr of the clan.

Canonically the reason for Michael's death was never disclosed, we just know for a fact that he left no suicide letter explaining his motives, but he did leave a note for Carmy, to make sure he knew he loved him (yes, I have a lump in my throat as I type this, moving on) and enough encoded info for him to find the money and hopefully save the place.

My HC is that that was precisely the last straw for Mikey. He couldn't take the guilt of knowing or thinking that he was gonna lose the family business. He couldn't even afford napkins FFS!. He couldn't take the pain and guilt of not being able to fulfill his role this time around. He couldn't take that, which he experienced as a failure and he couldn't forgive himself for that. So he checked himself out, permanently.

My other HC about his death is: Had he received the help he needed, he probably would have been a survivor by now. It breaks my heart.

That's what I want for Carmy soooo bad. I don't want him to follow in the footsteps of his brother, because when Carmy received his inheritance it wasn't just a restaurant and a debt he couldn't afford. It was more than that. It was THE RESPONSIBILITY to succeed where his hero brother had failed. That's how he took it.

And that's a very heavy burden for anyone, especially for someone as mentally "compromised" as Carmy.

Now, as far as I'm concerned, that stopped being a "burden" when Syd came into his life.

She INSPIRED HIM to get better, to turn that place around and make it better, to elevate it and in that way honor his brother's legacy.

It stopped being a heavy burden for him, that could ruin him as it did to Mikey because Syd gave him purpose and he didn't have to carry it all by himself anymore, he had her, and Sugar.

The BEEF had broken that family apart and THE BEAR, the restaurant he wanted to share with Syd, brought it back together.

It's important to notice that Syd was the one who brought Nat on board, not Carm. He accepted that, of course, but he only offered The Bear to Syd. Not to his sister.

Back to Michael: By being the SHIELD for years and focusing on the restaurant that was constantly diving, staying in the family home living under the same roof as Donna, being everyone's best friend, cutting Carmy off cold so he could fly away and be who he had the potential of being, he also allowed Sugar to make her own way away from home, which eventually led her to Pete with whom she raised the beautiful family she never had.

And in a final leap of faith, Mikey left the restaurant and the $ to Carmy trusting he was gonna succeed at what he had failed. And also trusting that Sugar was doing that too, family-wise.

I don't think Michael knew or even expected that by doing that he was gonna bring the family back together like he did, he just meant to inherit the business to Carmy, knowing Sugar had her part covered, in his mind she was fine because she had Pete.

But ultimately his legacy is what brought the two siblings back together, so the family was no longer broken, and then what Carmy decided to do with the money was going to determine if he could save the business or not, but he passed along that torch to Carm because he couldn't fulfill that "obligation" he felt he had. The rest is history.

Carmy, on the other side of the story, experienced this act of sacrifice as some sort of punishment, he probably thought his brother, his best friend, hated him and could only move on from that mindset when he started dreaming of The Bear with Syd.

Before her, his dream was intrinsically intertwined with Mikey, his best friend. He didn't give a flying fuck about the restaurant, he just wanted to reconnect with Mikey through food, as he had always done throughout his life, he wanted that back.

Carmy didn't care about the family business, he cared about Michael.

But Mikey, who had taken responsibility for the family business, did care. Way too much, in fact. He had to be the strong one for too long so Carmy and Sugar could be free. And that ended up killing him when he felt he couldn't live up to that responsibility.

In an extremely dark parallelism, Carmy's mental space, which we got to see in S1, was the exact same that Michael had:

Both, as a result of trauma/addiction.

For Carmy, it was always about the people. Even when he pretended it wasn't:

Then came the star, her dream.

Now, looking at the glass half full:

IMO Michael did succeed though.

Because now we see that Natalie is raising a happy/healthy family and that Carmy has the restaurant and he has Syd. It doesn't matter what it looks like now. This story is not over.

Carmy has Syd and Syd has Carmy and at some point, they won't look like the Syd and the Carmy we saw in S3, this is just a transition to something better, after they learn all the lessons they have to learn and make each other better at this.

In his own very atypical way, via The Bear, Carmy is also raising his own family. For now, he is repeating the same pattern he learned from Donna → the only family he ever knew.

But he's also raising a happy family, he just doesn't know it yet. He will find out at some point, and get a star in the process, for her. Not for the star itself. Because Sydney is his purpose.

Sydney is what Michael lacked. He just had "the burden".

But with Syd's and Natalie's help and the whole found family Carmy has formed at The Bear, he will turn that dumpster he inherited into a Michelin star place for her. And by doing this he will be elevating and "healing" Michael's legacy.

What was about to disappear under Michael's rule, will thrive under Carmy's and Sydney's. It's already thriving, actually.

And therefore, both Carmy and Sugar will end up happily ever after, they’ll do it together, so all in all, Michael will succeed. All he wanted was for his siblings to be happy and to live their dreams. And he, in a sense, died for it.

He didn't die in vain.

That's why the show started with his death and it will end honoring his memory. Full circle. I'm sure.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[sydneybristowvaughn]

3.14 // Lauren | Sydney

This watch belonged to my father. It's broken now, but it used to keep perfect time. And when he gave it to me, he said, "You could set your heart by this watch". It stopped October 1st: the day we met. Me too. - Vaughn and Sydney | 2.08

bonus: Vaughn's reaction when Lauren gave him the fixed watch (3.17) -- by fixing his father's watch, Lauren essentially "destroyed" the only thing Vaughn had left that linked him to Syd and the last tangible reminder of their relationship -- and that was the final straw for him, that's when he decided to call it quits on their marriage

[unlikelyjapan]

So I've only just made it through episode nine, and I'm going to shout an expository essay into the abyss later, but I just need to get something off my chest -

After Nat - the woman who constantly checks in, shoves her savings into her brother's pocket and runs the shit out of his impractical restaurant- has a baby after a harrowing delivery, they really depict Carmy alone in his apartment melodramatically inhaling René Redzepi's farts? While Sydney brings the family an entire meal train?

I don't know why this was the final straw for me, but here we are - if I watch Season 4 at all, its only to see Nat and Syd (and, okay, Tina and Marcus) receive good and just endings.

[mermaidgirl30]

Wip Wednesday!

Thank you for the tags @alltheirdamn @joelmillerisapunk @milla-frenchy @burntheedges @sawymredfox 🩷

I am working on a pile of things, and my docs are a mess right now. But here is a sneak peek at some things I’ve got in the works!

1. QZ! Joel

He cups your chin again, turning you slightly to him as his calloused fingertips brush a strand of hair behind the slope of your ear, breathing down your neck as you finally smell him. He smells woodsy, summer sweat kissing the air, cheap whiskey filling your senses. Then he looks deep in your eyes, one hand falling slowly to the top of the table, fingertips curling over the scratched wood, his jaw flexing as his eyes travel down to your lips for just a second, a breath in time. And suddenly you’re frozen in place, waiting for something to happen, something that shouldn’t happen. He wouldn’t, he’s not…

Another soft graze of his rough knuckles to your cheek and then the front door slams open, sending both of you back in your chairs.

2. Still chipping away at ch 5 of dbf! Joel

After you and Joel have showered and thrown on white, silky robes, you sit on the balcony and watch the sunset paint the sky purple and amber colors that look like a masterpiece. You lean into Joel on the reclining chair, letting his fingertips trace up and down your arms slowly while his lips brush against the shell of your ear.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” you ask, watching the waves slowly lap against the sand while he murmurs in your ear.

“Mhm, gorgeous.” He grazes his lips against your cheek and whispers sweet words into your ear. “You wanna go back inside? Let me make love to my girl,” he whispers as he trails another kiss over your cheek.

You spin around and smile up at him. “Okay, handsome. What’d you have in mind?” you giggle.

He smirks down at you and chuckles. “You remember when we were watching Scream on Halloween night, and I asked about the whole handcuff thing?”

You raise your eyebrows in question and nod. “Yeah, what about it?”

“Well, don’t exactly have the handcuffs, but that black silk ribbon I asked you to bring? Gonna use that to tie you to the headboard. Gonna make you feel so good, sweetheart. That what you want?” he asks with a long Southern drawl, eyes darkening as he speaks to you in a deep voice.

You gulp and nod your head. “Okay, daredevil. Take me to bed then,” you whisper into the shell of his ear.

3. Modern day witch trial Joel one shot!

He remembers everything. The pain, the loss, the absolute horror of living day after day in a town full of demons. And now he bleeds himself dry night after night, day after day. He has nothing left to give, no fight present in him. Now he’s just a hollow body, a broken man cursed to live in a place he so desperately despises. He wants out. God, does he want out.

But now there’s you. The woman he’s pined after for months. The rare beauty that captured his black heart, a ray of sunshine that showed him the light. It was the small smiles and grazing of skin, the gifted flowers, the afternoon small talks in the wildflower fields. He wishes he got the chance to kiss you, to tell you how much you saved him after his daughter was taken from him. But now it’s too late. He couldn’t save Sarah, and now he can’t save you. And it kills him, it fucking kills him.

He hears your gut wrenching screams, hears the crowd chant “Witch” repeatedly as his ears bleed dry. He covers his ears, kneels on the ground as dirt covers the fabric of his worn pants. He can’t hear it, can’t bear to know they’re torturing you. He wants to murder all of them, burn the whole goddamn town down, and maybe he will. Maybe this will push him to his last straw. He certainly won’t watch them burn you. No. He has to do something, anything.

No pressure tags and anyone else who wants to participate 😊 @janaispunk @maggiemayhemnj @magpiepills @syd-djarin @mountainsandmayhem

@its-dee-lovely @itsokbbygrl @katiexpunk @yxtkiwiyxt @604to647

@macfrog @ozarkthedog @aurorawritestoescape

[turbulenthandholding]

👀 just wondering if you’re writing anything these days!

1. Hi, hello, thank you for the ask @anxietycroissant! ❤️

2. I am...or I am trying! I am about 16,000 words into what is probably going to be a pretty long fic. It's an unexpected pregnancy/speed-run-the-relationship Sydcarmy and I am happy to be writing it because it's what my brain wants to read but it alternately falls out of my head and gives me great angst. I had been pretty blocked for more than a week but 3000 words fell out of my head like nothing last night which was a nice surprise.

Excerpt (Syd and Carmy are at IKEA):

“Sammy, right? Weren't you Carmy's sous?”

Sydney looks up to see Claire standing before her. “Claire. Hi. It's Sydney, actually,” she says and rises. Claire's eyes fall to Syd’s abdomen. “And I'm his CDC now.”

“Oh, that's so cute!” Claire says, her eyes falling to Syd’s belly. “You finally got over your weird obsession with Carmy and moved on,” Claire says. “Congratulations!”

“Weird obsession?” Syd asks. She feels pinned again like she did the first night she met Claire during the reno, glared at for reasons Syd at least thinks she understands now. Jealousy, and this time, lingering anger at her breakup with Carmy, which Claire lobs at Sydney like a knife.

Syd struggles to respond. “Sorry...are you like here to look at a couch? Or like, eat some meatballs? Sorry.”

“How do you feel about a lingonberry juice box?” Carmy asks Syd as he returns, focused, unaware, unwrapping and inserting the straw as he moves to hand it to her. “Got some water too,” he says, finally engaging with the scene in front of him.

“Carm, hi,” Claire says, features pinching. Syd takes a sip from the straw.

“Uhh, hey, Claire,” Carmy returns. He slips his arm around Syd, possessive fingers digging into her hip. A united front.

“Just one…” Claire begins. “Did this, uh, overla…how far along are you?”

“Due at the end of February,” Syd says.

Claire calculates, glares at Carmy. “You didn't waste any time.”

Carmy shrugs.

“Well, this is just so fucking precious,” Claire says through clenched teeth. “I guess when you said you didn't have space for fun or enjoyment in your life, you really just meant you don't have space for me. Cool. Cool. That's just…I’ll see you around, Bear. Good luck with whatever.” She slings her bag over her shoulder and stalks off back towards the escalators.

“Uhh,” Syd says, before taking a last drink from her juice box. The lingonberry juice is good, a little tart cutting through the sweetness. The box scrunches and crunches in her hand and makes the sound that juice boxes do when they are finished. “Sorry, that was loud. And just like…sorry that, uh, this happened.”

(2.5 - I could probably use an alpha reader if any of my Sydcarmy mutuals wants to take a look and tell me if it's bad or that I'm crazy because it could very well be!)

3. I'm also working on a soul mark/soul scar Sydcarmy. It's probably about 3k words so far but I put it to the side because I realized I had a huge plot hole and haven't quite figured out how to come back from it yet.

Excerpt:

Sydney gets really good at applying foundation to her arms, pressing it in with setting powder to help keep it waterproof just in case. The number of tattoos gracing her arms has been growing exponentially over the last few months. There's a pyrex measuring cup holding the whole world, a couple of angels, a fish. S-O-U on the fingers of her hand. She's a senior in high school on track to graduate with honors and the body art would be a distraction, a mark against her. An indication that she's not serious enough to do anything other than make terrible decisions or jeopardize her future; a constant, tangible reminder that she doesn't have the grace about things like this than people whose skin is lighter than hers. She wishes she didn't care. But she does, so she covers them up every day in a routine that feels like it has become her religion. She wears button-down shirts with long sleeves secured at her wrists most days, even when the heat and humidity in Chicago are oppressive. Counts the seconds until she can go to the CIA where maybe the sight of Schrödinger’s tattoos (simultaneously hers and not hers) won't hold her back.