#Syd straw

[folkimplosionmusic]

April 26, 1991

[swartzmark]

[nedison]

THE GOLDEN PALOMINOS

worth the price of admission simply to hear T-Bone Burnett sing a song written by Peter Blegvad. Powerful powerful stuff!

As if he wanted to be alone—as if we wanted to be an undistinguished derelict, a prophet with no prophecy to speak...

[dinosaursr66]

Thank you night-picture-collector for refreshing my memory on the greatness of this song and album.

SONG OF THE DAY - Tuesday, February 6, 2024

[pompadorbz]

in a crow man mood today so heres a really really rough q!phil concept that i dont entirely like. might fuck around with this when i get home from classes today. heart.

[aki-salunar]

Syd Straw Que Sera Sera

[sydcarmyfan]

Like onions, Sydney Adamu has many layers

There are many layers to Sydney but as Sydney has a wall around her, it is hard to see all the layers. We mostly get to see the outer layer.

However, Carmy starts to peel off the layers. In Brigade, he says, ‘’where are the onions? They prepped?’’ This is the first time we see Carmy and Syd at odds (with passion) so after, Sydney starts to cut the onions to the point that she cuts herself then the crew play a prank on her and hide her onions which is the last straw and she tells them to fuck off.

Similar to Syd in Brigade, onions become the last straw for Carmy in Braciole; he becomes teary after looking at the onions in the walk-in. After the apron and the notebook, the onions made him miss Syd even more. Thankfully Syd comes back to him after he reaches out. Interesting that Syd was frying onions when she received Carmy’s text.

After Syd comes back to him, Carmy continues to break down Sydney’s wall and Carmy starts to see the layers he would otherwise not see. He sees that she loves to take care of people. He gets to see that she is afraid of failing. He sees Sydney.

Carmy is shown gently holding an onion when he is out food shopping before cooking for his friend who is a girl, but why was this specific item shown to us? Sydney be on his mind rent free. This man was definitely thinking back on the memory of him and Sydney nearly kissing passionately in front of the whole crew.

[kylejsugarman]

its actually enough to drive a rational man to madness to think about how howard and jimmy were more alike than they ever were different. i mean, what was howard's adoption of the whole "namaste" mindset if not a less intense version of jimmy's transformation into saul goodman?? what were they both doing if not running from something and changing themselves to escape it?? what were they if not brothers seeking approval and love from chuck their father????

[dolyx]

(alnst au… luka!wraith using tala's guilt of corrupting sydney against xem.)

[mysticeclipses]

Comforts For The Troubled Mind

This fic was inspired by this thought from @nekrosmos

Well, since my last fic was Nik comforting Price, I thought to myself, 'What about one where Price is comforting Nik?' Can you tell I'm developing an obsession?

This had to be one of the most exhausting days Nikolai had experienced in a very long time, and that was saying something considering how much running around he had been doing these past few weeks. As an international arms dealer, the leader of Chimera, and so called ‘taxi service’ for Task Force 141, running back and forth between countries in his trusty Black Hawk helicopter became the norm for his life after so many years in his line of work. Yet with so many years of experience under his belt, Nikolai could feel these past few weeks really starting to weigh down on his shoulders, and today was the final straw that made him realize just how much he was exhausting himself for the sake of everyone else around him that needed his help.

Waking up during the early morning hours at Urzikstan, Nikolai freshened up to the best of his ability before quickly busying himself with a meeting with his fellow Chimera operators, having spent the last few days picking up Krueger, Syd, and Yegor so they could join Farah and Iskra at their base. Trying to do a virtual meeting with all of them scattered across the globe just would not work out well, so of course, Nikolai volunteered to fly out and grab everyone instead of having them spend an unnecessary amount of money on plane tickets to Urzikstan. A bit tiring for the man, but he had spent longer in his helicopter, so this was nothing at the end of the day. During the meeting, where they had been trying to come up with a plan on how to counter an attack made by Al Qatala in recent weeks, Nikolai couldn’t help but be constantly glancing at his phone.

Nikolai was anticipating a phone call or message from one of his associates in Germany about an arms deal that he needed to be at, yet his men had been radio silent, which wasn’t a good sign for what was to come in Nik’s mind. Still, he tried to push away the negative thoughts and put more of his focus on the task at hand, working to devise a plan that would work regardless as to whether or not he would still be around to fight with his team. When that phone call finally came through, Nikolai would finally allow himself to breathe a small sigh of relief knowing that his buyer was now on his way to the meet point, turning his attention back to the papers Farah had laid out on a table as they put the final touches on their plan. Only a few small details had to be changed now that Nikolai had his confirmation call, and once everything was in place, he said his farewells to everyone before rushing off to his helicopter under the morning sun.

With Farah having assured Nikolai that she would take care of returning everyone back home once they were finished with their plan, he assumed that this would finally take some stress off his shoulders as he headed towards Germany to get this arms deal over and done with. Oh how wrong he had been. The flight from Urzikstan to Germany took longer than Nikolai had initially thought it would, making him regret not eating something while still on Farah’s base when he finally landed, the sun having neared its peak in the sky. Checking on the goods that were stored in the back of the helicopter, Nikolai couldn’t help but grumble as he saw the bullets for the gun he was trading were now scattered around the inside of the briefcase, now having to spend precious minutes searching for all of them and tucking them back into the right pocket. Nikolai wouldn’t stand delivering products that didn’t represent his professionalism and the efforts he went through to obtain such weapons.

After giving the gun a final once-over just to make sure it was still intact, Nikolai shut the briefcase and hopped out of his helicopter, making his way to the small town where he would be meeting with his client. Of course, Nikolai had to stop at a small corner shop to grab something to eat before he even dared join the meeting, as a hungry Nikolai was a snippy Nikolai, and he knew the deal would be impossible to make if he was in such a state. One drei im weggla and a franzbrötchen later, and Nikolai’s hunger was satiated for the time being, quickly checking his face in a window to make sure he had no food remnants before finally coming up to the right building. It took long enough for Nikolai to get here, smoothing out any hairs that were out of place before heading inside and making his way to the meeting room, taking a mental note of any people he passed by as well. Even after so many years of being an arms dealer and having gained both respect and fear from those around him in this underworld, Nikolai still wouldn’t risk letting his guard down during trades.

Stepping past the metal door, Nikolai instinctively squared his shoulders as he saw the four men on the other side of the table, immediately picking out the supposed ‘leader’ from the quartet as he took a seat next to his own associates. This was exactly what Nikolai had expected to see, but what he didn’t expect was for each of the men to be of different nationalities, something he picked up on as he listened to their hushed conversations. The ‘leader’ was German, as expected, yet the man on his right was French, the man closest to his left was Filipino, and the man farthest to his left was Ecuadorian. None of those facts were issues to Nikolai, he had worked with people all over the globe for multiple jobs, so he was used to being in groups where no two people had the same background. No, the issue Nikolai noticed was the fact that they were much more keen on speaking in their native languages, and only their native languages. Again, Nikolai didn’t have an issue with that, and he could even understand why they would do so, as it was easier to say what you didn’t want others to know by speaking in other languages.

Even though Nikolai could understand what they were saying, he didn’t anticipate having to switch between German, French, Filipino, and Spanish when he wanted to converse with them about the deal. He had to repeat the same sentences four times over, speaking to each of the men individually instead of as a group, which was stressing his already stressed mind. Nikolai had already started growing a small headache from switching back and forth between English and Arabic back in Urzikstan, and now he had to go back and forth between four different languages? It would be a miracle if Nikolai didn’t leave this meeting without a much more aggressive headache. But of course, as fate would have it, Nikolai just wasn’t able to get a break.

That headache, which had started out as nothing more than a dull pulsing in the back of his skull that was easy to ignore, had now grown into an all-encompassing pressure around Nikolai’s head that he couldn’t ignore, no matter how hard he tried. Switching between four different languages wasn’t helping in the slightest, but what’s worse was the fact that the man who had called Nikolai for this deal didn’t even have the money to afford the damn thing! What a complete waste of time this had been, and Nikolai wasn’t afraid to make the sentiment known, cursing the four men out in all eight languages he knew before handing the suitcase with the gun off to one of his associates so he could leave. Of course, the men weren’t exactly happy with Nikolai’s words, nor were they happy to be leaving without the gun, so what else was there to do but open fire on Nikolai and his associates in a desperate attempt to get what they wanted? What a big mistake that was, as Nikolai was never unarmed walking into deals, and all it took were a few well-trained shots before the four men were nothing more than new tallies tacked onto his already extensive tally list of kills. And what a waste of four useful bullets too.

With a heavy exhale, Nikolai simply waved his associates in the direction of the bodies before leaving the room, wiping a few drops of blood off his leather jacket in the process. He trusted his associates to take care of putting the gun in a safe place until they got a new buyer, so now, all that was left for Nikolai right now was to get back to the United Kingdom and the base of Task Force 141 to finally get a break. Another flight that would last several hours wasn’t something that sounded overly thrilling to Nikolai, especially not with such an aggressive headache, but he didn’t exactly have any other choices. At least Nikolai had wisely snagged a couple bottles of water before making the trek back to his helicopter, and he took some time to enjoy the scenery as well since, to his knowledge, he didn’t have to rush anywhere. The fresh air was helping Nikolai’s headache a bit, though he would’ve preferred to have some sort of pain killer. Oh well, at least he could look forward to an ice pack and some peace and quiet once he got back to the Task Force base, maybe even a good meal so long as their fridge had actual food in it and not just week old rations.

The flight back to the United Kingdom was just as uneventful as Nikolai had imagined it would be, and he wouldn’t have it any other way to be honest. Even though the long flight was tiring, and Nikolai’s joints were definitely starting to feel the ache from sitting in the same chair for so many hours, he was just relieved to finally be back to a place of familiarity. And perhaps he was also looking forward to spending some quality time with a certain captain. It didn’t take long for Nikolai’s thoughts to be consumed by John Price and everything he had been missing about the man during these long weeks away. His hearty chuckle, his strong arms, his gentle eyes, the scratch of his facial hair when they shared a tender kiss, the warmth that filled the bed when they laid together, the gentle crinkling of his eyes when he smiled, the healthy thumping of his heart that easily lulled Nikolai to sleep, the way he just made Nikolai feel so at ease. God, Nikolai couldn’t wait much longer to get back on base.

Thankfully, Nikolai managed to land on the base of Task Force 141 as the sun was reaching the end of its descent, painting the sky in gentle shades of greens, blues, and purples with only hints of yellows and oranges. It truly was a gorgeous sight to behold, and Nikolai wished he could share it with John, hopping out of his helicopter to finally stretch his tired joints out. It didn’t take long for Nikolai to notice Price and his team were missing from base, though he just assumed they were out on an op, looking around his hanger for some pain killers he knew were stashed somewhere among his tools and spare helicopter parts. Maybe Nikolai should’ve taken some time to organize the place now that he really thought about it, as he was struggling to find those painkillers, and he could feel his headache coming back thanks to the sounds of tools being knocked into helicopter parts. Still, Nikolai tried to think positively as he continued digging around the disorganization. A warm meal, a comfortable bed, a nice movie, John in his arms, maybe even a bit of stress relief if you could catch his drift. Nikolai wanted to feel John’s bare skin beneath his fingers, John’s well-built muscles in his palms, John’s warm breath against his neck, John’s quiet pants in his ear, John’s ass against his-“Nikolai!”

Laswell’s voice startled Nikolai out of his thoughts, quickly attempting to stand up just to smack his head against the underside of the cabinet he had been searching in, letting out a string of muttered curses before getting out from the cabinet and standing to face Laswell. “Ah, Laswell, is nice to see you again.” Nikolai grunted as he rubbed the top of his head, trying to hide the exhaustion in his voice as he noticed a paper in Laswell’s hand that was now held out in his direction, taking it hesitantly before looking at what she had written. “The team needs your help getting back from an operation. We got false information about the location of some stolen weapons and they’re pinned down under enemy fire. You need to get them out before enemies close in on them.” Of course, Nikolai shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up about finally getting to relax. This was Task Force 141 afterall. “Understood. I will have them back shortly.” Nikolai simply nodded as Laswell before turning around and getting back into his helicopter, punching the coordinates into the gps before taking off for, hopefully, the last time today. It didn’t take longer than a few minutes for Nikolai to make it to the destination, and he knew he was getting close thanks to the sounds of gunfire, which was doing wonders for his headache.

Every gunshot made Nikolai’s head throb in pain, and as he lowered the helicopter to where John and his team were pinned down, the throbbing continued to intensify until it felt like thousands of hammers were constantly coming down on his skull. At least Price, Gaz, Ghost, and Soap got into the helicopter quickly, allowing Nikolai to take back to the air and get them back to base without much of a hassle, though the sound of bullets hitting the helicopter rang in his ears for much longer than he appreciated. Nikolai simply offered the team of grunt to acknowledge their presence before spacing out for the rest of the flight, his body acting without thought once he had landed back on base. Hopping out of the helicopter, Nikolai was already walking back to his shared room with Price hot on his tail, the man speaking so fervently about the operation that it was hard to really understand with his head still pounding so aggressively. Those painkillers were forgotten about as Nikolai opened the door to their room and kicked his boots off, collapsing onto the bed without a second thought before rubbing his temples to try and reduce the intensity of his headache turned migraine.

Nikolai could still hear Price moving around and talking about the operation, but he was barely even paying attention, only realizing Price was talking to him when he felt a hand shaking his shoulder. “Oi, Nik, you alright? You haven’t said a word since we landed, and your face is tense.” Price muttered with concern in his tone, reaching out to place a hand on the side of Nikolai’s head as well. “Ah, извинения, my dear. It has был долгий день and I cannot концентрат well.” Now Price knew something was up considering how Nikolai was slurring his speech and he was switching back and forth between English and Russian without realizing. Patting Nikolai’s head, Price stood up and left the room for a moment, coming back a moment later with a freshly cracked ice pack. Wordlessly, Price placed the ice pack on Nikolai’s forehead, noticing how the tension in his expression melted into relief almost instantly. Price knew that Nikolai likely wasn’t going to be up for much of a conversation, so he took it upon himself to take care of the tired Russian for the rest of the night; closing the curtains, turning off the lights, laying out some comfortable clothes, and slowly closing the door so he could place an order for food and look for a movie.

Around 30 minutes later, the food John had ordered finally got to base, and he managed to pick out a movie from the large collection that Nik had amassed over the years. Would John be able to keep up with anything going on? No, not likely, but he knew it was one of Nik’s favorite movies, so he’d manage. When John finally stepped back into the room, he was surprised to see Nik hadn’t moved a bit from where he was laying on the bed, the change of clothes remaining untouched for the time being, and the only sign that the man was even still awake was the subtle twitching of his fingers. This was a side of Nik that John rarely ever saw, but every time it showed up, it concerned John all the same. Setting the food and movie to the side for now, John shook Nik several times to get his full attention. “C’mon Nik, you know you’ll feel better once you get out of that jacket and jumpsuit. Get changed, I already got food and a movie for us.” It took a bit, but John managed to get Nik to get up from the bed and change, putting the ice pack to the side as he worked to get the movie ready on his laptop.

Once Nik was changed and the movie was ready to play, John unboxed the food and climbed into bed next to Nik, guiding the man’s head against his chest before handing him the food and setting the laptop between the two of them near the foot of the bed. John had ordered two plates of fish and chips, a bit cliche, but it was the one thing he knew would get the least amount of complaints from Nik. John made sure Nik was comfortable before pressing play and nestling the fingers of his left hand into the thick black hair, beginning to idly scratch and rub at the man’s scalp while eating with his right hand. Hearing Nik let out a deep groan of satisfaction, John couldn’t help but smile as he felt Nik slowly be reduced into a puddle of relaxation in mere minutes, the food now forgotten for the time being as he simply relished in the feeling of John’s fingers working the migraine away until it was nothing more than a fleeting afterthought. Still, Nik couldn’t help but lean into John’s touch even after his migraine had receded, the movie simply becoming background noise for the both of them as the night carried on.

Eventually, both of their meals had been finished, the two men simply basking in each other's presences even after the movie had ended and John had nudged his laptop shut with his foot. The silence did wonders for the both of them, and Nik was grateful that he could finally let his mind relax. No words had to be exchanged between the two men, John could tell what Nik needed simply by looking at him, and he was grateful for that. After the hell he had been through, it was nice to simply be taken care of by his lover, even if it wasn’t how he had initially imagined the night going. As John allowed himself to doze off, Nik nuzzled closer, tangling their legs together just so he could feel more of John’s body against his. John had always been Nik’s rock, his grounding force in life, and it was moments like these that confirmed to Nik that he held a special place in John’s heart. And he’d be damned to leave that space empty.

[yannaryartside]

Why Sydney should leave to open her own place

I am gonna list my reasons from the least to the most significant, but they are all pretty brutal.

She may be the next Andrea Terry in her way to manage a kitchen, and the culinary world needs that. I want to see Syd doing that; she deserves a reputation and success outside that bear’s kitchen, no more struggle love rewards, I am sorry.

In the real world, only one black woman has ever won a michelling star, her name is Mariya Moore-Russell, and she is from Chicago, so the series could do something really special if Sydney gets a star.

The bear may collapse due to the reckless expenses they had and Cicero's money situation, and it is better if she is not legally tied to that shit.

Sydney deserves to give her father a better living/heathcare situation and this may be the only way to do it for a while.

Syd needs to find and respect her own vision outside Carmys standards. She keeps thinking that he is more talented than her, and he may be, but she will never surpass her limits if everything that needs to be approved or defined by him. I particularly like the idea of Carmy eating the best meal of his life at Sydney’s restaurant. I cannot emphasize this enough, but women’s ambitions are always secondary to men’s in most narratives; her name in the culinary industry deserves to be engraved on her own merits, not on Carmy’s tail. She will only believe how great she is on her own if she sees it with her own eyes.

This is a personal preference, thinking of their possible future together. Syd needs to know that she can leave. I have no doubt she has feelings for Carmen, she needs to understand she can go, so if they ever get involved romantically, she will know that loving him has his limts. Think of Bones when Temperance kicked Booth out of the house because of his addiction. She said, “I love you, but until you figure out your shit, I don't wanna be with you.”

But more than anything, because Carmy said he won't be doing cooking without her, and I want to see how far that is true, even if he heals from his abuse (from his former ec) even if he gets his family and even Claire back, I want to see how he will react to that missing piece that he has been relaying on the whole show. It may the last straw to him recognizing how fucked up he is mentally. There is a reason the show started when they met.

Of course, she will still be part of the main narrative and always be in Carny’s mind. I want to see glimpses of this new life, her new team, and maybe be involved with Luca. Her new recipes, a tribute to her origins.

It doesn't have to be a permanent thing either, give Carmy a year of therapy and we can talk terms and conditions.

I may be wrong of course, let me know what you think.

[xony]

I am possesed by a sydcarmy spirit and I need to have this out. Completely hypotetical scenario based only in what we kinda know from s4. So, spoilers? Maybe.

Say Carmy does invite Syd to the wedding as his +1, she sees commitment on his part, calls Shapiro and tells him to fuck off that she feels like The Bear is the one.

But! during the wedding Carmy pulls the same shit he does at the funeral and ditches Sydney to go apologize/confront Claire (and that's why my girl is alone and Donna takes the chance to go talk to her). Carmy goes after Claire and the fight occurs, and, same as with Chef David, it's completely anticlimactic (like when they went to drop that permit to the mailbox) and it just makes it clear that everything is broken beyond repair and was probably never gonna work anyway!

So, next day, Sydney is furious because Carmy abandoned her AGAIN and she just turned down a great opportunity, and this is the very last straw and THE FIGHT™️ breaks out. Carmy finally realizes that this was the real confrontation he's been avoiding and that this is the thing that he has to fix to get back on track and find the peace!

Idk what would happen as a result of that fight but I'd like at least a little bit of Carmy angst, as a treat.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Michael Berzatto is immortal

Being the eldest and Donna's favest, came with a price.

He paid with his own life.

In a sense, Michael always tried to shield his 2 younger siblings from the liabilities of being a Berzatto.

That's why he was their "best friend". Because his life mission was protecting/shielding the two cubs, from the enemies.

Whether that meant trying to protect them - to the best of his abilities- from Donna herself, from the pressure of handling the family business that was always about to go under, never really thriving, from themselves and their own shortcomings, etc... He took the blows so his siblings didn't have to. -They did anyway, but he tried to prevent that-.

Pushing his baby brother away -even when Carmy didn't see it or feel it that way- was his way to protect him and set him free so he could realize his full potential, which Mickey knew was never gonna happen if Carmy was confined within The Beef's kitchen making sandwiches.

And among probably a million other stuff his role entailed:

Being always Sugar's airbag when her savior complex got the better of her and exposed her to Donna's wrath.

Being the one who picked up the pieces of, or tried to mend, all the broken relationships in the family, such as Donna's failed marriage, and the toxic mother-daughter relationship Donna and Sugar had all the time.

Being Carmy's best friend because otherwise he wouldn't have any.

IMO in essence that's why Michael ended up killing himself: always trying to be everyone's best friend, or in other words "The Shield".

He was "hilarious". Aha, yeah right. Tell me more...

He carried all that pain inside

Mikey wouldn't express it because that would have been detrimental to the role he felt he had to play in the family. IDK to what extent that role was self-imposed or actually assigned by others at a fairly young age, when he didn't know better, or couldn't fight back, anyhow, he eventually ended up buying fully into it. And one way or the other the result was the same: The cumulative effect of always being the shield was what ended up killing him.

The bullet was just the consequence, but his role was the actual cause of that pain and ultimately his death. A role he could never break free from because he chose the addiction path, or fell into it. But the point is that because of that he couldn't break that cycle he was trapped in of being the scapegoat and in a sense the martyr of the clan.

Canonically the reason for Michael's death was never disclosed, we just know for a fact that he left no suicide letter explaining his motives, but he did leave a note for Carmy, to make sure he knew he loved him (yes, I have a lump in my throat as I type this, moving on) and enough encoded info for him to find the money and hopefully save the place.

My HC is that that was precisely the last straw for Mikey. He couldn't take the guilt of knowing or thinking that he was gonna lose the family business. He couldn't even afford napkins FFS!. He couldn't take the pain and guilt of not being able to fulfill his role this time around. He couldn't take that, which he experienced as a failure and he couldn't forgive himself for that. So he checked himself out, permanently.

My other HC about his death is: Had he received the help he needed, he probably would have been a survivor by now. It breaks my heart.

That's what I want for Carmy soooo bad. I don't want him to follow in the footsteps of his brother, because when Carmy received his inheritance it wasn't just a restaurant and a debt he couldn't afford. It was more than that. It was THE RESPONSIBILITY to succeed where his hero brother had failed. That's how he took it.

And that's a very heavy burden for anyone, especially for someone as mentally "compromised" as Carmy.

Now, as far as I'm concerned, that stopped being a "burden" when Syd came into his life.

She INSPIRED HIM to get better, to turn that place around and make it better, to elevate it and in that way honor his brother's legacy.

It stopped being a heavy burden for him, that could ruin him as it did to Mikey because Syd gave him purpose and he didn't have to carry it all by himself anymore, he had her, and Sugar.

The BEEF had broken that family apart and THE BEAR, the restaurant he wanted to share with Syd, brought it back together.

It's important to notice that Syd was the one who brought Nat on board, not Carm. He accepted that, of course, but he only offered The Bear to Syd. Not to his sister.

Back to Michael: By being the SHIELD for years and focusing on the restaurant that was constantly diving, staying in the family home living under the same roof as Donna, being everyone's best friend, cutting Carmy off cold so he could fly away and be who he had the potential of being, he also allowed Sugar to make her own way away from home, which eventually led her to Pete with whom she raised the beautiful family she never had.

And in a final leap of faith, Mikey left the restaurant and the $ to Carmy trusting he was gonna succeed at what he had failed. And also trusting that Sugar was doing that too, family-wise.

I don't think Michael knew or even expected that by doing that he was gonna bring the family back together like he did, he just meant to inherit the business to Carmy, knowing Sugar had her part covered, in his mind she was fine because she had Pete.

But ultimately his legacy is what brought the two siblings back together, so the family was no longer broken, and then what Carmy decided to do with the money was going to determine if he could save the business or not, but he passed along that torch to Carm because he couldn't fulfill that "obligation" he felt he had. The rest is history.

Carmy, on the other side of the story, experienced this act of sacrifice as some sort of punishment, he probably thought his brother, his best friend, hated him and could only move on from that mindset when he started dreaming of The Bear with Syd.

Before her, his dream was intrinsically intertwined with Mikey, his best friend. He didn't give a flying fuck about the restaurant, he just wanted to reconnect with Mikey through food, as he had always done throughout his life, he wanted that back.

Carmy didn't care about the family business, he cared about Michael.

But Mikey, who had taken responsibility for the family business, did care. Way too much, in fact. He had to be the strong one for too long so Carmy and Sugar could be free. And that ended up killing him when he felt he couldn't live up to that responsibility.

In an extremely dark parallelism, Carmy's mental space, which we got to see in S1, was the exact same that Michael had:

Both, as a result of trauma/addiction.

For Carmy, it was always about the people. Even when he pretended it wasn't:

Then came the star, her dream.

Now, looking at the glass half full:

IMO Michael did succeed though.

Because now we see that Natalie is raising a happy/healthy family and that Carmy has the restaurant and he has Syd. It doesn't matter what it looks like now. This story is not over.

Carmy has Syd and Syd has Carmy and at some point, they won't look like the Syd and the Carmy we saw in S3, this is just a transition to something better, after they learn all the lessons they have to learn and make each other better at this.

In his own very atypical way, via The Bear, Carmy is also raising his own family. For now, he is repeating the same pattern he learned from Donna → the only family he ever knew.

But he's also raising a happy family, he just doesn't know it yet. He will find out at some point, and get a star in the process, for her. Not for the star itself. Because Sydney is his purpose.

Sydney is what Michael lacked. He just had "the burden".

But with Syd's and Natalie's help and the whole found family Carmy has formed at The Bear, he will turn that dumpster he inherited into a Michelin star place for her. And by doing this he will be elevating and "healing" Michael's legacy.

What was about to disappear under Michael's rule, will thrive under Carmy's and Sydney's. It's already thriving, actually.

And therefore, both Carmy and Sugar will end up happily ever after, they’ll do it together, so all in all, Michael will succeed. All he wanted was for his siblings to be happy and to live their dreams. And he, in a sense, died for it.

He didn't die in vain.

That's why the show started with his death and it will end honoring his memory. Full circle. I'm sure.

Remember to follow my tag #Gingerpovs 💋

[sydneybristowvaughn]

3.14 // Lauren | Sydney

This watch belonged to my father. It's broken now, but it used to keep perfect time. And when he gave it to me, he said, "You could set your heart by this watch". It stopped October 1st: the day we met. Me too. - Vaughn and Sydney | 2.08

bonus: Vaughn's reaction when Lauren gave him the fixed watch (3.17) -- by fixing his father's watch, Lauren essentially "destroyed" the only thing Vaughn had left that linked him to Syd and the last tangible reminder of their relationship -- and that was the final straw for him, that's when he decided to call it quits on their marriage

[unlikelyjapan]

So I've only just made it through episode nine, and I'm going to shout an expository essay into the abyss later, but I just need to get something off my chest -

After Nat - the woman who constantly checks in, shoves her savings into her brother's pocket and runs the shit out of his impractical restaurant- has a baby after a harrowing delivery, they really depict Carmy alone in his apartment melodramatically inhaling René Redzepi's farts? While Sydney brings the family an entire meal train?

I don't know why this was the final straw for me, but here we are - if I watch Season 4 at all, its only to see Nat and Syd (and, okay, Tina and Marcus) receive good and just endings.